Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to be very delicate about what I'm
Speaker 1: going to say because it's a it's a sensitive topic,
Speaker 1: and I don't believe in just saying negative things that
Speaker 1: can hurt people's feelings. Words, the written word hurts, the
Speaker 1: verbal word hurts people's actions, and words hurt people's feelings.
Speaker 1: I've learned that, and I teach that to my daughter too.
Speaker 1: So I want to be sensitive and accountable when I
Speaker 1: speak about plastic surgery. Because I watched like ten minutes
Speaker 1: of the and just like that, the the Sex and
Speaker 1: the City follow up show last night, I wanted to
Speaker 1: get to the Peloton part. I was more interested in
Speaker 1: it because of the Peloton situation with their stock And
Speaker 1: I don't know those of you who don't know, HBO
Speaker 1: Max aired and just like that, and there's a scene
Speaker 1: and I guess I didn't get up to it, but
Speaker 1: I guess big passes away on a Peloton, and Peloton
Speaker 1: reacted with this commercial within forty eight hours after their
Speaker 1: stock plummeted and the stock went back up, and it
Speaker 1: just was, in my opinion, and interesting pivot. And people
Speaker 1: were reading about it and saying that they were rethinking
Speaker 1: a Peloton, and I don't know how a scripted scene
Speaker 1: and a show is going to make you rethink exercise equipment,
Speaker 1: but who knows. So I because of being on the
Speaker 1: Housewives and watching these shows and seeing women with plastic
Speaker 1: surgery and their faces change and everybody be very vain,
Speaker 1: and watching women age. I mean, I think I started
Speaker 1: The Housewives in my mid thirties, and I think Ramona
Speaker 1: was maybe fifty then you know, it was fifteen years ago,
Speaker 1: so we're all older, and we look older because we
Speaker 1: are older. And you see some people have good plastic
Speaker 1: surgery and botox and some have bad on the Housewives,
Speaker 1: and it's a great place to look at different plastic
Speaker 1: surgeries from breasts too, butts, two cheeks, to teeth, a
Speaker 1: lot of teeth done. Knows is extensions, hair, all of it.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just a good place to see sort
Speaker 1: of stuff. So I want to sensitively discuss plastic surgery
Speaker 1: because I was watching Sex in the City now. I
Speaker 1: don't remember the last time that show was on, but
Speaker 1: the women are much older. Um. I think someone was
Speaker 1: saying that they were fifty five years old, so that
Speaker 1: it was a major iconic show for women in their
Speaker 1: thirties and I think, and Samantha was maybe win forties
Speaker 1: and maybe into our fifties, I don't quote me. But
Speaker 1: so coming back for them to come back and do
Speaker 1: the show obviously takes emotional courage because you know you're
Speaker 1: going to be judged on the way that you look.
Speaker 1: And I know that they have UM and you're coming
Speaker 1: back to a show and you've gotten older and you're
Speaker 1: vain and everything is about being in magazines and pictures
Speaker 1: and every once filtered and it's you know, everything's HD. Now.
Speaker 1: When I went on television, there was no Instagram and
Speaker 1: there was no HD. Uh So that's high def television.
Speaker 1: So I know that these women have to go back
Speaker 1: back and they're going to think about how they're going
Speaker 1: to look. And I know in a lot of the
Speaker 1: press over the pandemic, Sarah Jessica Parker was just fully gray,
Speaker 1: which I get and so as I and so my
Speaker 1: most of the time. And I don't know exactly what
Speaker 1: she does or what anyone does, but I know in
Speaker 1: watching the show, and I don't want to be specific
Speaker 1: about anyone, and I don't want to go into any
Speaker 1: great detail. Uh. In watching the show, I was affected
Speaker 1: by the plastic surgery. I'm over fifty. I saw the
Speaker 1: plastic surgery. I could see the difference in the faces
Speaker 1: on the show. I saw the expressions different. Uh. It
Speaker 1: just plastic surgery makes your face look different. And it's
Speaker 1: not that it's quote unquote bad. It's just some people
Speaker 1: that I know, not on television, have gotten plastic surgery
Speaker 1: and their faces if you just look directly at their faces,
Speaker 1: they look good, but the person themselves looks older, or
Speaker 1: they look good, but they just look a little stranger.
Speaker 1: Or when they smile it seems unusual, or when they
Speaker 1: talk it doesn't sound the same, like it's very different.
Speaker 1: And on that show, it was very loud. To me,
Speaker 1: I was actually distracted by it, and I know a
Speaker 1: lot of you were too. And this is not to
Speaker 1: say something negative. It's to talk about plastic surgery. So
Speaker 1: for me personally, you know, every time I post a
Speaker 1: post and I happen to look good, Um, I don't filter.
Speaker 1: If I do filter, I would say it. I mean,
Speaker 1: I would say, this is not what I look like.
Speaker 1: And you see a lot of my unfiltered bag and
Speaker 1: wrinkled pictures. Um, I have had botox. I haven't had
Speaker 1: it in a while. And I have had philer probably
Speaker 1: once or twice in my whole entire life. Um, because
Speaker 1: when I got my jaw, my botox and my jaw
Speaker 1: which took my jaw muscle literally probably half the size.
Speaker 1: I had been working. I've grinded for years and I
Speaker 1: have a night guard, but that muscle had grown from
Speaker 1: when I was a child to an adult. It was
Speaker 1: like doing bicep curls on my jaw for years. So
Speaker 1: when I gradually used botox to reduce it, it was
Speaker 1: so sort of almost collapsed that one doctor said that
Speaker 1: I should balance it out by putting a dot on
Speaker 1: each cheek because it was just it was not balanced.
Speaker 1: I guess something by by that reducing pull my face
Speaker 1: that I don't know. Anyway, I uh, it scares me
Speaker 1: the filler a little bit because I see people looking
Speaker 1: so crazy. Has nothing to do with the fact that
Speaker 1: I'm so own natural and should be living in a
Speaker 1: commune or anything like that. I just don't think it
Speaker 1: looks great and it looks obvious. But and I have
Speaker 1: not had plastic surgery. I had a breast lift, I
Speaker 1: have not had my nose don I have not had
Speaker 1: plastic surgery. I sweared everything I hope to be. I
Speaker 1: swear on anything that I love. I have not had
Speaker 1: plastic surgery. I have considered what I would do if
Speaker 1: I were to do it, because I've had other people
Speaker 1: who are in the entertainment industry tell me that everyone
Speaker 1: has done it and they're all lying, and I'm the
Speaker 1: only one who hasn't done anything. So that's when you
Speaker 1: start to think, as no one telling me that I
Speaker 1: need something, like, am I do I need something? And
Speaker 1: no one's telling me. No one's going I've never told
Speaker 1: anyone they need something. Uh. I've had two good friends
Speaker 1: have surgery, and um, I notice it. My daughter noticed it. Um.
Speaker 1: Whenever I introduced my fiance to someone who's had plastic surgery,
Speaker 1: he says to me, did they have something done? And
Speaker 1: he thinks it looks different. I'm trying to be kind
Speaker 1: in general to everybody. So it's a choice. But I
Speaker 1: do think there's a price. And I don't know what
Speaker 1: age or what circumstance you hit where you really have
Speaker 1: to do it, you really should do it. So I
Speaker 1: think there's a lot of pressure sure to get plastic
Speaker 1: surgery because you don't want to be the one holding
Speaker 1: the bag. The last woman standing that hasn't had it.
Speaker 1: But I want to tell you that watching Sex in
Speaker 1: the City, uh, and just like that made me think,
Speaker 1: I think I would rather look a little older and
Speaker 1: not have plastic surgery for now. I mean, someone has
Speaker 1: to tell me that there's something to do. But it
Speaker 1: feels like a crapshoot because there are people on the
Speaker 1: Housewives who have had plastic surgery and they're teeth done
Speaker 1: and it looks good, and then there are other people
Speaker 1: and they look like they're on Star Trek and there's
Speaker 1: everything in between. And I don't think that that's a
Speaker 1: risk that I would take. I think it's scary. So
Speaker 1: unless you really really need something, and what's the definition
Speaker 1: of need, you it's interfering with your life. You look
Speaker 1: into the mirror and you say, I see this saggy neck.
Speaker 1: I can see exactly where it's gapping on my neck,
Speaker 1: or my eyes. I have big suitcases under my eye
Speaker 1: is and there's that wrinkly skin, or I just look
Speaker 1: like a leather bag and I have crow's feet because listen,
Speaker 1: I don't drink enough water. I don't exercise a lot,
Speaker 1: I mean barely at all. I don't sleep enough so
Speaker 1: that gets in your head and you're thinking I must
Speaker 1: be aging and need it, and I'm sure you're all
Speaker 1: thinking the same thing. I just want to tell you
Speaker 1: that the people, for the most part that I know
Speaker 1: who have had plastic surgery don't look natural, and it's
Speaker 1: a little off putting to me. So maybe just a
Speaker 1: little bit of crow's feet and not looking perfect is
Speaker 1: the answer for more than just myself some good makeup
Speaker 1: on a good night out. Most of the time, you're
Speaker 1: probably home with your kids in your pajamas, so it
Speaker 1: doesn't always have to matter as long as you can
Speaker 1: pull it together when you need to take a great picture,
Speaker 1: go out to a good dinner, go on a vacation.
Speaker 1: What are we all doing it for? So I hope
Speaker 1: that you all comment and tell me what I need
Speaker 1: and when I need it, if I need it, or
Speaker 1: tell me honestly that I don't, because I think we
Speaker 1: have to tell each other all of that so we
Speaker 1: don't have to go through not knowing and then be
Speaker 1: a person that everyone's talking about saying, wow, that looks
Speaker 1: weird and she didn't need it and why did she
Speaker 1: do that? And you know, because I felt a little
Speaker 1: strange watching unjust like that, and I felt a little
Speaker 1: uncomfortable about it, and it made me worry about the
Speaker 1: fact that I've thought about doing it. So that's my
Speaker 1: truth about plastic surgery. My guest today is radio personality
Speaker 1: Elvis Duran. He is a wonderful man. He is very talented.
Speaker 1: His show, Elvis Duran and the Morning Show has been
Speaker 1: running since on New York's biggest station and syndicated across
Speaker 1: the country. In a career that spans decades, he's won
Speaker 1: countless awards and was inducted into the National Radio Hall
Speaker 1: of Fame. He's not only incredibly accomplished, but he's a
Speaker 1: wonderful philanthropist who's donated to be strong on many occasions.
Speaker 1: Every day, millions of people tune into his show, and
Speaker 1: today we get to hear his story. Enjoy Alright. So, Elvis,
Speaker 1: so I know you because throughout the years I've come
Speaker 1: in and been interviewed by you since probably you didn't
Speaker 1: even know who I was through my books and my experiences,
Speaker 1: and I've always enjoyed coming in there and your humor
Speaker 1: and you're being real, and we've developed this uh sort
Speaker 1: of industry relationship that's a little bit more Um, and
Speaker 1: you've helped me with be strong without wanting any credit,
Speaker 1: which I've mentioned. Um my daughter met you on the
Speaker 1: eating outside with some friends, and um, I just saw
Speaker 1: one of your colleagues at jingle ball, so we know
Speaker 1: each other. Um, but I don't really know you. I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know most of the people that I interview,
Speaker 1: even if I really know them, even if I'm friendly
Speaker 1: with them, because we don't really talk about how someone
Speaker 1: came up specifically, we sort of meet them once they're here.
Speaker 1: So how did you come up? Where did you grow up?
Speaker 1: And what did you want to be and what did
Speaker 1: you think successment and what was your family like? Well,
Speaker 1: I wanted to be a ballerina. That didn't work out,
Speaker 1: you know. I I was seduced by radio at a
Speaker 1: very early age. And I say that because I was
Speaker 1: such a loner kid, and you know, I spent a
Speaker 1: lot of time just with me and the radio and
Speaker 1: the people who were playing the songs and giving away
Speaker 1: the contest prizes, and I don't know, I felt that
Speaker 1: they were friends. They were in a weird way, disconnected way,
Speaker 1: they were friends of mine. And I always thought, I
Speaker 1: want to do that. I'm wanna I'm wanna be that
Speaker 1: voice in the in the night or in the morning
Speaker 1: that's actually a friendly voice when people may need it.
Speaker 1: And because I needed it as a kid, I was,
Speaker 1: like I said, I was a loner, and I was
Speaker 1: I wasn't like out of my mind and and hated.
Speaker 1: I just very introverted. Before we knew what that meant,
Speaker 1: you know, so well, interesting radio was my best friend.
Speaker 1: And I now we see it applied to people's lives
Speaker 1: who are living awful lives at home, or they're driving
Speaker 1: every morning to a shitty job that they just can't
Speaker 1: stand with a boss that's toxic, and we want to
Speaker 1: be there as a friend. And it's a very simple concept,
Speaker 1: but that's what got me hooked at a very early age.
Speaker 1: It's very unique for someone to really live out their
Speaker 1: dream that they had as a child. I don't know
Speaker 1: that many people who really have done that. What did
Speaker 1: your family think about that? And I love that point.
Speaker 1: Let's come back to that dream. The dream is a
Speaker 1: child thing. My mom and dad were like, you know,
Speaker 1: you need to go to college. So they foot the
Speaker 1: bill and I went to college and I just wasn't
Speaker 1: a great student. I was a great college partier. I
Speaker 1: just it just wasn't for me, you know, But radio
Speaker 1: always pulled me back. So I was doing part time
Speaker 1: radio in Dallas while I was going to college and
Speaker 1: failing miserably in college, and so this was the path.
Speaker 1: And so, yeah, you have a dream as a kid.
Speaker 1: I mean, do you remember dreaming anything when you were
Speaker 1: a kid, like I want to be this when I
Speaker 1: grow up? Yeah? I do. I think I wanted to
Speaker 1: be an actress, but more about probably what I thought
Speaker 1: the adoration. I mean, I don't think I understood what
Speaker 1: acting really was and the technicalities of it and what
Speaker 1: it really meant. And I tried it. I just knew
Speaker 1: that I wanted to. I I loved comedy. I did
Speaker 1: the Groundlings years later and Second City. I tried all
Speaker 1: of that. I always wanted to be in place. I
Speaker 1: wanted to entertain and connect in a humorous way. But
Speaker 1: I wanted to be myself. I knew that. So it
Speaker 1: is similar, but it wasn't as young, uh and as
Speaker 1: specific as you're talking about. But I did always have
Speaker 1: this urge to connect to an audience. But it's funny
Speaker 1: how as we get older and more embroiled in our career,
Speaker 1: as we realized how specific that can be. Meaning I've
Speaker 1: liked reality television. Not until after years doing it did
Speaker 1: I realized it was because of that humorous, irreverent, unbridled
Speaker 1: connection with that audience. It wasn't because I wanted to
Speaker 1: be famous. It wasn't because I wanted to be on
Speaker 1: reality TV or the money necessarily, although that was good.
Speaker 1: It was that I like that connection. So the podcast,
Speaker 1: I didn't even know what that was, and now I
Speaker 1: know that it's a great way to just communicate and
Speaker 1: express you See, Bethany, you just used the word connect
Speaker 1: in one form or another over a dozen times, and
Speaker 1: I really think that's very telling of you and of me.
Speaker 1: I was a little awkward growing up, and even in
Speaker 1: college I had a few friends, but it was still
Speaker 1: an awkward time and I was outdating whatever, and I
Speaker 1: wasn't good at any of that. But the need to
Speaker 1: connect was there. So I found through our delivery of
Speaker 1: content through one way radio, I could make a connection,
Speaker 1: but it was it was an indirect connection. I was
Speaker 1: there talking to you, and then the feedback was much
Speaker 1: slower because was no social media. But the need to connect,
Speaker 1: I think we all have that in one form or
Speaker 1: another like you so brilliantly said, it's so true because
Speaker 1: you don't have to be talking to someone else. I
Speaker 1: will talk sometimes, just on a rant, and I was
Speaker 1: shocked that you're just speaking, and you are. You are
Speaker 1: talking to people, but they're not necessarily talking back. We
Speaker 1: do like that as well, and I know that you
Speaker 1: do too, but it's a different type of thing. It's
Speaker 1: sort of like a you're just expressing yourself through monologue,
Speaker 1: which is interesting. Yeah, you know, it also kind of
Speaker 1: started and became very important for me. Uh nine eleven,
Speaker 1: twenty years ago, I was about to quit radio. I
Speaker 1: just didn't understand the point. I didn't feel like I
Speaker 1: was saving any lives. We weren't curing any diseases. We
Speaker 1: I didn't get it. You know, maybe you'll tell a
Speaker 1: fart joke here and play the same song over and
Speaker 1: over until people don't want to hear anymore. What's the
Speaker 1: point in that? I was lost? I was floating around
Speaker 1: and outer space, not really tethered to anything I felt
Speaker 1: was foundationally important. But were you getting a w with it? Oh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: lots of lots of ratings, lots of listeners, great money.
Speaker 1: I didn't get it. Nine eleven, actually nine twelve and
Speaker 1: two thousand one proved to me, well, what what we're
Speaker 1: here for? The calling was for me at that time,
Speaker 1: it was healing, it was anger, it was you know,
Speaker 1: all the emotions we all went through after nine eleven,
Speaker 1: right putting the pieces together for people I'll never get
Speaker 1: Walking in the studio on November, I mean September twelve,
Speaker 1: we didn't know what to do, like, who the who
Speaker 1: the hell are we to like open the microphones and
Speaker 1: start talking after such a tragic, tragic event, unfriendly right
Speaker 1: before our eyes, literally before our eyes. What we discovered,
Speaker 1: who we were, we were needed. We helped get food
Speaker 1: down to ground zero. We helped get little baby booties
Speaker 1: for the dogs who were searching. We we connected families
Speaker 1: who were members of families were walking down the turnpike
Speaker 1: just trying to get home near Philly from New York.
Speaker 1: We had people stopping by and picking them up. And
Speaker 1: we understood at that point what public's service is all about,
Speaker 1: which connects way way fast forward to what you are
Speaker 1: doing now. Every time there's a call, you're there. You
Speaker 1: feel the need to serve the public, And I think
Speaker 1: there's a connection between what we learned after nine eleven
Speaker 1: and our business radio how important it was and how
Speaker 1: you are connecting the Dodge to help people out around
Speaker 1: the world. Well, it's funny. You can find your way
Speaker 1: in and then you feel like you have purpose and
Speaker 1: it gives you something to do, and it's sort of
Speaker 1: like work. Also, relief work is work, um, which just
Speaker 1: feels weird sometimes because it can be cold. I'm just
Speaker 1: trying to get things done. I'm not just crying and
Speaker 1: hugging babies. So I feel like it's not what it
Speaker 1: is on TV or in the movies or you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. You connect to people and you got
Speaker 1: I'm using that word again, but you go there and
Speaker 1: you see people are going through but it's it's handled
Speaker 1: in a way where you just need to move quickly
Speaker 1: to help versus really processing what's going on. You don't
Speaker 1: always have time to do that. So it sounds like
Speaker 1: it was a day after It was September twelfth, and
Speaker 1: you were just in motion helping people. I fell in
Speaker 1: love with my career that day. Refell in love. I
Speaker 1: understood the importance. And then when we try to figure
Speaker 1: out which I don't know why we do this to ourselves,
Speaker 1: but I do this, and I'm hoping you've thought it
Speaker 1: through to what's the psychology behind wanting to be there?
Speaker 1: What's the psychology other than purpose, as you mentioned, which
Speaker 1: is so important, like what what's what's in it for me?
Speaker 1: And I know that sounds very trite and very whatever,
Speaker 1: but there is something in it for us. There is
Speaker 1: the satisfaction of helping people. We have the platforms to
Speaker 1: do it. It's too easy to not do it. It's
Speaker 1: not easy to do, Don't get me wrong. It's not
Speaker 1: easy to execute what we do. But it's too right
Speaker 1: there that you have a leg up to do it
Speaker 1: that someone else doesn't have. And most people do want
Speaker 1: to help. Thank god, we do because there are a
Speaker 1: lot of There are a lot of people who benefit
Speaker 1: from it. And I know I do, but I watched,
Speaker 1: I watched. I'm always trolling you online. I'm watching every
Speaker 1: time every time of building falls. Bethany's there, you know,
Speaker 1: and uh, I love it. I think, I think when
Speaker 1: you talk about leaving legacy, I'm sure that you've had
Speaker 1: this conversation with yourself. What's that legacy you want to
Speaker 1: leave your Well, you're creating quite the legacy. Well that
Speaker 1: may be a plan that we didn't know about. Why
Speaker 1: that was given to certain people. I mean, not everybody
Speaker 1: uses it that way, but I'll say that the it's
Speaker 1: funny you said why you felt you had to be there.
Speaker 1: So I was a nobody who had absolutely nothing, living
Speaker 1: in a tiny, tiny studio apartment, and sixty two Street
Speaker 1: and nine eleven felt so far from me. It was
Speaker 1: I didn't understand like that you could have access. It
Speaker 1: was downtown. I was on sixty second Street. Think about
Speaker 1: what I do now and how crazy the dangerous places
Speaker 1: I've been and how we get in immediately with no
Speaker 1: red tape, and it's scary, and there's people who intervene
Speaker 1: with aid and kill and roadblocks and crazy stuff going
Speaker 1: on in different countries. For people listening, you can get involved.
Speaker 1: It just seems like you can. It seems like everything
Speaker 1: else that you don't take a chance to do, Like Loto,
Speaker 1: you have to be in it to win it. The Apprentice,
Speaker 1: you have to send that tape, even though they say
Speaker 1: thousands are doing it. Whatever it is superficially the Housewives,
Speaker 1: a radio host, whatever. But I was on sixty two Street,
Speaker 1: and my biggest regret in my life is that I
Speaker 1: didn't go down there to see it, to feel it.
Speaker 1: Not even that I could have made a massive help
Speaker 1: impact helping. Maybe I could, maybe I couldn't, but just
Speaker 1: so I could know in my body what that really
Speaker 1: felt like. I only know as a bystander in New York.
Speaker 1: Like everyone else, I didn't really absorb what you did
Speaker 1: and what really was going on down there. Well, we
Speaker 1: were forced, and we were our students at the time.
Speaker 1: We're in Jersey City in a high rise. Look, I
Speaker 1: mean looking right at World Trade. We watched the whole
Speaker 1: thing happened, so we were sort of sucked in. And
Speaker 1: also a lot of supplies were launched from the docks
Speaker 1: below our building, and so we had we we were well, no,
Speaker 1: we weren't forced, but we forced ourselves to be a
Speaker 1: part it. We had to. But it just Yeah, because
Speaker 1: of your slightly disappointing thoughts in not being able to
Speaker 1: go downtown, which you weren't allowed to do, by the way,
Speaker 1: most likely for a while, is that sort of what
Speaker 1: sprang you into action in the future as you're doing today.
Speaker 1: Not even no, I just years later. I always wanted
Speaker 1: to do something in philanthropy, and I would donate money
Speaker 1: to different charities, not realizing if you focus on one,
Speaker 1: you can really have an impact. When I used to
Speaker 1: think it was good to give to different places, but
Speaker 1: I didn't understand what it meant, and then donating to
Speaker 1: being involved with one, it just didn't feel dire enough.
Speaker 1: The way that I was doing it. It It was too
Speaker 1: slow and low. It was helpful to a lot of women,
Speaker 1: but I wanted to do something immediate, and years ago
Speaker 1: I saw Haiti earthquake and I saw the kids on
Speaker 1: the medical lines, and I always wanted to do something
Speaker 1: with babies. So when I was able to finally do
Speaker 1: it for her came Maria, I understood the point and
Speaker 1: that it's just like you can you just hear something,
Speaker 1: you see images, people tell Twitter, social media and Instagram
Speaker 1: helps so much. But anyway, who that that's so both
Speaker 1: of us have connected through philanthropy. You've got involved and
Speaker 1: would be strong. Um, so what about your relationships? What
Speaker 1: about sexuality relationships? What about that while trying to build
Speaker 1: a career that makes you the center of attention and
Speaker 1: really now you're more leveled and where you know you've
Speaker 1: made it, But when trying to come up, what about
Speaker 1: all of those elements in your life. You know what,
Speaker 1: the word relationships is a very important word in my
Speaker 1: life and in our shows foundation as well, because I
Speaker 1: think everyone's storylines in their relationships with people, relationships with food,
Speaker 1: with money, with alcohol, with drugs, with sex, with It's
Speaker 1: all how we relay. It's not just what we think
Speaker 1: about what I think about my husband Alex. I I
Speaker 1: also want to make it about what he thinks about me,
Speaker 1: like how are we in this together as partners? And uh,
Speaker 1: I think looking through the relationship lens is so important
Speaker 1: because it's not it's not a one way think. This
Speaker 1: is not a one way life. We're living with money
Speaker 1: and with power or lack of power or can't pay
Speaker 1: the bills. Relationships married to Alex. I don't know this
Speaker 1: is it? Is it? The simple? Is this what you want? Yeah?
Speaker 1: We met each other twelve years ago and we got
Speaker 1: married either two or three years ago. I lost a
Speaker 1: year and there somewhere I think you know what I'm doing. Well.
Speaker 1: You waited a long time, We did well. It was
Speaker 1: kind off and on again. We weren't really ready for it.
Speaker 1: He used to be a club kid who was getting older,
Speaker 1: and I was an old guy who needed to become
Speaker 1: a club kid again. So it was it was kind
Speaker 1: of a young thing and it worked out really beautifully.
Speaker 1: And now we're you know, we have two schnauzers and
Speaker 1: live on a farm and in the city and we're
Speaker 1: doing our thing. So are you good at it? I'm
Speaker 1: trying to be it's work, you know, hello, it is,
Speaker 1: but I don't not everyone admits that. And you watch
Speaker 1: you know, it doesn't matter what television show you're watching.
Speaker 1: There are people with twelve year old kids walk in
Speaker 1: just giving the biggest hug and the day I met
Speaker 1: your mother and I and I'm like, is that that?
Speaker 1: I don't think that's what relationships are like every day
Speaker 1: because none of my friends, it's like that they're all
Speaker 1: we're you know, one of them it's not stopped snoring,
Speaker 1: and the husband drinks too much. Another one, uh, the
Speaker 1: husbands to overweight and also drinks too much and smokes.
Speaker 1: And see, like all my friends have different stuff going
Speaker 1: out their partners. So I like when people tell its
Speaker 1: straight versus bullshit, it just doesn't help people. Well, okay,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you straight. You pretty much three out of
Speaker 1: four in bed to overweight guys with drinking problems and
Speaker 1: snoring you you pretty the nail on the head. Look,
Speaker 1: you know what, I look at it this way, and
Speaker 1: I think this helps me with this relationship. We're struggling
Speaker 1: up to the point where we finally decided to get married.
Speaker 1: You know, you realize you're in two different lanes, and
Speaker 1: sometimes you're in the same way, and you're in two
Speaker 1: different lanes, and but you're always merging in and out
Speaker 1: of each other's traffic and exiting and entering the free
Speaker 1: win everything. Not every day is great, I do I
Speaker 1: I can't think the last time we actually went for
Speaker 1: each other's freaking juggular and tried to rip them out.
Speaker 1: I mean, we're doing okay. I guess that's a good
Speaker 1: sign um now. But you know what we're doing now,
Speaker 1: and I think this is this is not uncommon after
Speaker 1: you know, the COVID hit. We're reevaluating. We're trying to
Speaker 1: figure out where this is going, uh not the relationship.
Speaker 1: We want to be back to, back in the woods,
Speaker 1: protecting each other, and that's that's easy to figure out.
Speaker 1: But where do we want to go next? What's next chapter?
Speaker 1: You know, I love what I do for a living.
Speaker 1: Alex loves what he does for living, which is the
Speaker 1: polar opposite of what I do. You know he works
Speaker 1: at Stadi want to Zoo. He's a zookeeper. Amazing. Okay,
Speaker 1: we have nothing in common in professional world, which is
Speaker 1: kind of great. Oh no, very great. You know he'll
Speaker 1: he'll go to work and you know, help build a
Speaker 1: new sloth exhibit. I go to work and interview SpongeBob SquarePants.
Speaker 1: I mean, they're just not related. But you know, we're
Speaker 1: trying to figure out what's next, what's next chapter? I
Speaker 1: love what I do for a living, I just don't
Speaker 1: always love how I'm doing it anymore. And uh, he
Speaker 1: wants to open a bar somewhere, which is a tough business.
Speaker 1: Or we have a house out in Santa Fe. Maybe
Speaker 1: you can go to the Santa Fe Opera and build
Speaker 1: sets for for the opera season. I don't know. We're
Speaker 1: just trying to figure that out. And was was was
Speaker 1: being gay difficult or did it provide any sort of
Speaker 1: interesting path that you wouldn't have imagined in your career?
Speaker 1: Was there any because people always talk about that being
Speaker 1: a woman, or being a black woman, or being a
Speaker 1: gay man or woman, the plight and the challenges, but
Speaker 1: people don't often talk about the positive aspects, what, how,
Speaker 1: how how it could change your path or chart your course.
Speaker 1: It was a total positive experience. And I have a
Speaker 1: lot of friends who did not grow up with a
Speaker 1: positive experience being gay or lesbian. Um and I get that,
Speaker 1: you know, And I was always there for them. I
Speaker 1: always used it to my my advantage. I mean people wanted,
Speaker 1: you know, growing up in the eighties in Texas, in Dallas, Texas,
Speaker 1: somewhat conservative area of the Bible Belt. I used it
Speaker 1: as my this is what makes me, this is what
Speaker 1: makes me unique. It makes me different than you. And
Speaker 1: I'm a good guy. And so you know, if you
Speaker 1: don't like gays in general, then I'm not your guy,
Speaker 1: you know. And I never really had a problem with
Speaker 1: it at all. I always always embraced it. And I like, again,
Speaker 1: I say, I'm very lucky. I have friends who were
Speaker 1: no longer with us because they could not. They couldn't,
Speaker 1: they could not maneuver through that world. And you know,
Speaker 1: something just told you inside. Was it your family to
Speaker 1: just live in Dallas, Texas. That's interesting, to be honest
Speaker 1: about it, But it sounds like being an introvert might
Speaker 1: have helped you because you weren't craving to be the
Speaker 1: center of attention or to be popular. You probably liked
Speaker 1: your own bubble, and in that bubble you were gay
Speaker 1: and did what you wanted. Yeah know, my battery was
Speaker 1: replenished when I was alone, you know, and hanging out
Speaker 1: and being creative with a couple of friends or you know,
Speaker 1: back in the days we smoke a lot of pot
Speaker 1: and just sitting around watch TV. But we were comfortable
Speaker 1: with each other, you know. And you found other gay
Speaker 1: friends in Dallas, Texas that many years ago. Oh absolutely,
Speaker 1: I had a fake idea. When I was in high school.
Speaker 1: We were going to the bars and stuff, going to
Speaker 1: drag shows when before was even eighteen. So I got
Speaker 1: that all out of the system, you know, And then
Speaker 1: AIDS came along, and somehow I got through that maze.
Speaker 1: Uh not. Not a lot of my friends did, a
Speaker 1: lot of a lot of them didn't. But the challenges
Speaker 1: were already always there. You can see the roadblocks miles away.
Speaker 1: You see, you see a bus coming down the road.
Speaker 1: You don't step out in front of it. You just
Speaker 1: try to be smart, you know, maneuver and manipulate and
Speaker 1: take care of yourself. And I'm here and amazing and
Speaker 1: answered your question being gay. It was cool. You know,
Speaker 1: I had a great experience. I wish everyone had as
Speaker 1: great experience as I've had. And your family was supportive
Speaker 1: of you. You know, my mom and dad were so
Speaker 1: much older than me. We really didn't discuss it. I
Speaker 1: mean I was out to almost everyone except for my
Speaker 1: mom and dad, and they knew because I found a
Speaker 1: book in their bedroom like what to Do when your
Speaker 1: Kids a Gay. I don't know what the title of
Speaker 1: the book was, but it was there. But it was
Speaker 1: uncomfortable conversation with them. They were very conservative Southern Baptist.
Speaker 1: They love me. There was always lots of love in
Speaker 1: the house. They even told me one time, you know,
Speaker 1: if you choose, if you choose a life of being homosexual,
Speaker 1: you risk losing friends and relationships and business partners. Maybe
Speaker 1: you know they were from that old school. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's not untrue what I was saying at that time too,
Speaker 1: to be honest, and even now, in many places, it's
Speaker 1: not untrue. You did. I mean, you have to be
Speaker 1: who you are, and there are you know, risks to that,
Speaker 1: which is sad, but it's true. They never ever shut
Speaker 1: me out, and they were always there was always a
Speaker 1: hug and I love you in my house morning, noon
Speaker 1: and night. That's so interesting. It's a different story, but
Speaker 1: it still makes sense. And I'm sure there's still was
Speaker 1: some struggle for you and them. That's interesting. Yeah, Sometimes
Speaker 1: sometimes I I crawled into the closet when it comes
Speaker 1: to heaven conversations with strangers or I don't know why,
Speaker 1: it's just it's just it's in there. But I'm doing okay.
Speaker 1: I'm a good nice, I'm a good gay. You're a
Speaker 1: good gay, You're a good gig. What? How? How what
Speaker 1: do you attribute your success to? How did you did
Speaker 1: you just one foot in front of the other? What
Speaker 1: was what were the big mistakes you made the real
Speaker 1: like hit it out of the park, your best business choices,
Speaker 1: just that sort of crossroads when you really made the right,
Speaker 1: the correct turn. Maybe you can help me figure this
Speaker 1: out because I've never Bethany. I've never been the one year,
Speaker 1: five year, ten year planed guy. I've never been the
Speaker 1: make a list every morning and get to check them
Speaker 1: all off, same same. It was almost as if and
Speaker 1: maybe you can relate with this. I'm driving down the
Speaker 1: highway and when I see a sign for an exit
Speaker 1: looks interesting. I take it same. It's just is it timing?
Speaker 1: Is it honestly, it sounds like gut, instinct and honesty,
Speaker 1: and it sounds like it's about the journey and not
Speaker 1: the destination. For me, what you're saying is the same
Speaker 1: exact thing, and it's that I always say to my team,
Speaker 1: look at be aware of the board. Don't forget the pieces,
Speaker 1: but look at the whole board. So, but you got
Speaker 1: to get in the car, get on the road. You
Speaker 1: may hit a roadblock, you may run out of gas,
Speaker 1: but you got to get in the car. Everyone's stuck
Speaker 1: in their business plan and they can't get started, and
Speaker 1: you may make a mistake, but just make that mistake work.
Speaker 1: So all roads lead to rome. So I'm the same
Speaker 1: as you. I know I have a successful business in
Speaker 1: all of these different tentacles, but they're just because I
Speaker 1: have ideas and I want to execute them. Now they
Speaker 1: have to be interconnected because you're not gonna As you
Speaker 1: get older, you realize time is more valuable than money,
Speaker 1: So you're not gonna do things that don't have a
Speaker 1: financial or spiritual or emotional return on their investment. But
Speaker 1: I do the same thing as you do. I just
Speaker 1: have always said, from my horrific divorce to my career,
Speaker 1: it is one foot in front of the other. It
Speaker 1: is like what hole are we on in golf? We're
Speaker 1: on this whole and we just keep going. And you
Speaker 1: know that it is. It's just I'm the same as you,
Speaker 1: and I sometimes don't like it. And then I stopped, Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, don't you feel like, gosh, you know what,
Speaker 1: maybe I should be watching all the Ted talks. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't. I don't I need to go
Speaker 1: read the new Brunet round book or I'm going to
Speaker 1: be a failure. Rollo, God bless Burnet. I think she's
Speaker 1: she's great at what she does. I don't know. Maybe
Speaker 1: I almost call it laziness, so I don't think that's correct, though.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm just too lazy to do the
Speaker 1: checklist thing. And the I don't think if you whatever
Speaker 1: the checklist is, if you're not thinking about it or
Speaker 1: dreaming about it, I don't think you'd be good at it.
Speaker 1: It's the same thing as I am. I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't need to be a billionaire, and I value my sleep,
Speaker 1: and I value my daughter, and I value my life.
Speaker 1: And my peace of mind. Meaning you're feeling about radio
Speaker 1: back before nine eleven was my feelings about my relationship
Speaker 1: with reality television in that format. I just I didn't
Speaker 1: like the way I felt. I felt gross. I felt
Speaker 1: like I was prostituting myself for the check I was getting.
Speaker 1: So I had to make a decision that you know,
Speaker 1: it was not financial, it was just emotional. But those
Speaker 1: aren't the easiest things to do because your mind's playing
Speaker 1: tricks on you, and it happens in relationships and all
Speaker 1: the types of things too. We just have to live
Speaker 1: as honestly as you can. I think you've always been
Speaker 1: pretty honest from your sexuality, you know, from being gay
Speaker 1: in Dallas, Texas. It sounds like from day one you've
Speaker 1: just gone with in your gut and your heart and
Speaker 1: just keep going. And you're doing it now. Well call
Speaker 1: it reckless. I don't know. It's just the way I
Speaker 1: hate to sound like a whatever it's it's the universe
Speaker 1: is looking out for me. God, you know, whatever you're
Speaker 1: believing in. I truly believe there's a force that's looking
Speaker 1: out for me. It's at least helping me guide myself
Speaker 1: in the right directions. I think another thing's timing and luck,
Speaker 1: lots of luck. Um. And someone told me once, oh,
Speaker 1: you know what, you need to give yourself more credit
Speaker 1: and stuff stopped getting giving so much credit to luck.
Speaker 1: I said, well, no, I really do think you really
Speaker 1: do some people. Do you know who else said that? Um?
Speaker 1: Why am I having? Um? Graham Norton. I was trying
Speaker 1: to I was trying to make everything into something. You know.
Speaker 1: I just thought like, and he was lucky effective. I mean,
Speaker 1: he's not only lucky, but he just said I just
Speaker 1: landed here. I'm you know, he considers himself very lucky.
Speaker 1: I'm paraphrasing, but I think he's made it like you do,
Speaker 1: like you just feel like I don't know how to
Speaker 1: how this all happened. That's how you seem. It's sure
Speaker 1: as fun, though I hope it lasts for a while longer.
Speaker 1: I'm having a good time. That's amazing. That's different. Looking
Speaker 1: for a new chapter, though, I'm actively looking for new
Speaker 1: chapter right now. And it's it's it's come scary. You know.
Speaker 1: I've been doing the morning show at one New York
Speaker 1: and syndicated for twenty five years. I've been to Z one.
Speaker 1: I've been there a long time, you know, and and
Speaker 1: I've been working with some of the same people for years.
Speaker 1: So you're looking for something, I'm looking for something, and
Speaker 1: I'm and part of me is that lazy Elvis kind
Speaker 1: of waiting for it to fall out of this guy
Speaker 1: and just hit me upside the head like we that
Speaker 1: sometimes happens to us. And so I don't know, well
Speaker 1: I have if you want, this is not no pressure,
Speaker 1: only if you want. It could be as soon as
Speaker 1: Thursday or any time if you want to go on
Speaker 1: a mission, like you could go on a mission for
Speaker 1: I can't go third day because um, I'm going away
Speaker 1: and I have full custody of my daughter now, so
Speaker 1: it's not and I've never had childcare, so I'm having
Speaker 1: different personal did get calendar challenges. But if you want
Speaker 1: to go on any of these relief missions, it's pretty
Speaker 1: amazing that we got. I mean, I consider it like
Speaker 1: getting to be front row at Madison Square Garden, that
Speaker 1: we get to be the first ones into these torn,
Speaker 1: you know, devastated places and distribute relief like real time.
Speaker 1: We have warehouses full of aid that two million dollars
Speaker 1: of aid that will be going to Kentucky. So if
Speaker 1: you ever want to go on a mission, and it
Speaker 1: only could be it could be just for a day.
Speaker 1: Just go in and talk to people. You you would
Speaker 1: probably love it and they would probably love it too.
Speaker 1: I've never done you know what. One time we actually
Speaker 1: flew into Haiti and went to a woman's clinic where
Speaker 1: they were having babies and giving birth and it sounds
Speaker 1: like you you've done the same thing, and that was
Speaker 1: it was just for the day and it was very moving.
Speaker 1: I would love to I'd love to do something like that. Okay,
Speaker 1: if you want to do it, you know, because we could,
Speaker 1: you could. I can always tell you when you could
Speaker 1: go the soonest you know, anywhere. It depends upon your
Speaker 1: work schedule at Cuter but uh, right now we're doing
Speaker 1: a big thing in Kentucky. Um. Anyway, it's just meaningful
Speaker 1: and it gives you that sort of purpose and that feeling.
Speaker 1: Doesn't mean it's your life's work, but it mean I mean,
Speaker 1: it just means it's just it's good to for you.
Speaker 1: Would be perfect because you already connect to people. Ask
Speaker 1: you a question once you're done with this this what
Speaker 1: we're doing now, and with other people you've you've you've
Speaker 1: interviewed and talked with. When you turn off your computer,
Speaker 1: what mode you go into? Do you stop and evaluate
Speaker 1: what just happened? Okay, that was good, I feel Do
Speaker 1: you feel satisfied? What comes in your daily satisfaction? Like
Speaker 1: what checks off your your boxes. So it sounds cliche,
Speaker 1: I'm my daughter is that it makes me whole. She
Speaker 1: just makes me a whole person. It's unbelievable just being
Speaker 1: with her experience. And when we do something that's an experience,
Speaker 1: like we've done something Christmas e or decorated the tree,
Speaker 1: or we made pink cupcakes this weekend with candy canes,
Speaker 1: that feels the best. UM. I will say that I
Speaker 1: have never loved anything more than doing this podcast for
Speaker 1: so many reasons. I'm gonna be super honest. I had
Speaker 1: never listened. I have never listened to a podcast to
Speaker 1: this day. I did not know what it was and
Speaker 1: I didn't even know what I was going to do. UM,
Speaker 1: and I thought I would talk to these interesting people.
Speaker 1: I could can't believe the people that I've been able
Speaker 1: to have on here. It's it's it's staggering who I've
Speaker 1: spoken to. UM. But it's like I get to get
Speaker 1: this information. You're the only person the whole time that
Speaker 1: I didn't read a single thing about in the papers
Speaker 1: that I have printed out because I just know you
Speaker 1: and I wanted to do it this way. But for
Speaker 1: everyone else, I look for twenty minutes at what's been
Speaker 1: written about them and circle certain things that reminds me
Speaker 1: of certain things. And then it's like reading a book
Speaker 1: because I'm talking to these people and I'm sharing with
Speaker 1: the people listening how they did it, and everybody has
Speaker 1: some relation to the way you've done it or I've
Speaker 1: done it, or Mark Cuban did it, or Hillary Clinton
Speaker 1: did it. So they're creating this their own quote, their
Speaker 1: own um toolbox to success. So this show is just
Speaker 1: the vehicle to give that to them. So I love that.
Speaker 1: And then it could be as stupid as me ranting
Speaker 1: about some dumb vegetables or packing or just giving tips
Speaker 1: about health, and it's just giving me so much. So
Speaker 1: I'm giving so much. It's giving so much to me.
Speaker 1: But also I'm meeting someone differently, like I'm getting to
Speaker 1: know you now, we know each other better next time
Speaker 1: I see you. And I'm really only interviewing people that
Speaker 1: I want to interview. I'm interested in talking to them.
Speaker 1: So now I got to know you way more because
Speaker 1: it moves pretty quickly. So it's a great experience, to
Speaker 1: say the least. I have to say. So I was
Speaker 1: having a brunch on a Sunday in Soho it rules,
Speaker 1: and I'm there with Alex and our old uncle Johnny.
Speaker 1: He's crazy, he's old and he's gay and he wears
Speaker 1: the two pay I think for you at the table.
Speaker 1: And then so you and your daughter are walking. I
Speaker 1: and I we were masked and we're like, oh, Bethany, hi,
Speaker 1: and you were so kind to exit out of traffic
Speaker 1: on on the Prince Street and say hi to us.
Speaker 1: And then when you left, Alex said, do you really
Speaker 1: know Bethany Frankel? I said, well, I think we're getting
Speaker 1: to know each other slowly here and there. You know
Speaker 1: that's her daughter. Your daughter is beautiful, by the way, um,
Speaker 1: and so in congratulations on your new your new level
Speaker 1: of relationship with your daughter with a custom full custody.
Speaker 1: How cool is that. But the fact that you you
Speaker 1: came over and just said hi, and you could have
Speaker 1: easily went okay, well bye bye, but you didn't. You
Speaker 1: stayed for a minute or two, and that that was
Speaker 1: nice New York City. Running into people on the streets
Speaker 1: in New York cities were my favorite things ever, And
Speaker 1: so that was interesting. That was a great day. I
Speaker 1: love it because if you think about it, it's just
Speaker 1: one huge small town, you know. And but so when
Speaker 1: you when you you exited the sidewalk just to say
Speaker 1: hi in our little outdoor area, that was really cool,
Speaker 1: you know. And I never, ever, never ever undervalue what
Speaker 1: that is like for people, just friends or people you've
Speaker 1: acquaintances or best friends to stop down and just invest
Speaker 1: a moment just to say hi. So this show just
Speaker 1: gives me so much, and to be able to do
Speaker 1: it in pajamas, not because just because it's who I
Speaker 1: truly am, and that's not the superficiality of wearing lashes
Speaker 1: and sequence and all that stuff I did in reality
Speaker 1: TV isn't the best thing that I have to offer
Speaker 1: to people. So that's just a sort of superficial aspect
Speaker 1: of myself. And as we keep going, I find social
Speaker 1: media less interesting to me because it seems like a
Speaker 1: superficial portrayal and this is the most authentic thing I
Speaker 1: can possibly think about. So that's so I love the
Speaker 1: hour because I get to you know, really go deeper
Speaker 1: with you and then know you better. And I'm learning.
Speaker 1: I mean, I've learned on this call. So that's huge
Speaker 1: for me. I feel like I said something really rude
Speaker 1: to you one time about you being on uh Real Housewives?
Speaker 1: Do you remember that? You do now, but in the beginning,
Speaker 1: I do remember you you evolving, but it might have
Speaker 1: been too. Here's the thing. I get it overall when
Speaker 1: I first came on, and I remember having this experience
Speaker 1: on the view. It's a joke, and you know, it
Speaker 1: seems like a joke. We're first starting as train wrex
Speaker 1: on this reality show and someone has to interview you
Speaker 1: and they don't know who you are and they're rolling
Speaker 1: their eyes because you yet you haven't even earned it,
Speaker 1: and I don't care, and you're you're a radio radio host,
Speaker 1: and there's other people in the room and it can
Speaker 1: be snarking. I have no idea what it was, but
Speaker 1: I know in my mind I remember knowing you later
Speaker 1: meant you taking me more seriously. But I that's part
Speaker 1: of what that's part of life. And you're not supposed
Speaker 1: to be some clown that walks in on day one
Speaker 1: and get the respect of people who have been doing
Speaker 1: this for thirty years. I love I love the word clown,
Speaker 1: so it applies to so many different things. No, he's
Speaker 1: actually in a text message I had with you or
Speaker 1: a d M. I was like, God, I wish you're
Speaker 1: so great when you're not on that show. And I
Speaker 1: was I think I've just seen an episode or something.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. Oh that's so funny. Oh wow, Yeah,
Speaker 1: well the show is its own thing. Um. So what
Speaker 1: has your rose been of your career and your thorn
Speaker 1: of your career? The rose of my career the people
Speaker 1: I meet and the people I get to work with
Speaker 1: every day, and of course the longevity of some of
Speaker 1: the listenership. And we we have people who have been
Speaker 1: listening since we're twenty five years ago and they're still there. Uh.
Speaker 1: More roses, I've got dozens of roses. I mean picking
Speaker 1: up new listeners. I just started listening to you. Oh gosh,
Speaker 1: which the name is the people again and we're getting
Speaker 1: to know you and those are the great things. And um,
Speaker 1: and luckily I have a partner who totally understands what
Speaker 1: I do and as I understand what he does. Those
Speaker 1: are the roses, the thorns, you know, waking up at
Speaker 1: fucking four thirty every you know, it's just you're never
Speaker 1: used to it these I mean, it's time to go
Speaker 1: see Dr Rosenberger again, because it's time to like, you know,
Speaker 1: the hours. And there is this past year and a
Speaker 1: half which this is not unique to me, the fatigue
Speaker 1: on working out of zoom rooms so much. Um, hi,
Speaker 1: we're in one now, but that's but this is different. Uh,
Speaker 1: that's about it. I love what I do. I mean,
Speaker 1: we go in there without a script, with maybe just
Speaker 1: a little bit of a roadmap here or there. It's
Speaker 1: just a collection of people that come to the table
Speaker 1: every morning with stories and we just apply them and
Speaker 1: then before you know it, it's four hours later and
Speaker 1: we're done. I can't think of any other business I
Speaker 1: could be in where I can do that. And they
Speaker 1: pay us well, they take care of us. I heart
Speaker 1: is so supportive of us. So, oh my god, how
Speaker 1: great is I hear they're greatly? How great is Conall? Smart?
Speaker 1: He's a smart guy, and he plays the long game.
Speaker 1: He doesn't play the nickel and dime game. He plays
Speaker 1: the long game. That from my experience, it's just like
Speaker 1: that's such an easy relationship. I heart's amazing and keep
Speaker 1: listening people to everybody because I heart is amazing. Well,
Speaker 1: and we've been very lucky they give us the resources,
Speaker 1: the research tools. I mean, it's it goes so deep
Speaker 1: down into the dungeon that most people don't see these things.
Speaker 1: It's great. So like how you asked the question roses
Speaker 1: and thorns. I I have a field of roses with
Speaker 1: maybe a couple of thorns in the corner that fuck
Speaker 1: them and they don't really bother me. I forgot that
Speaker 1: you lost a lot of How much weight did you lose?
Speaker 1: I forgot all about that. I've gained some of it back,
Speaker 1: it doesn't look like it, But did you lose like
Speaker 1: an extreme amount of weight I had? Yeah? I had
Speaker 1: the gastric sleeve bypad, not bypass but whatever, or the
Speaker 1: thing that's different than the lap band. Yeah, yeah, the
Speaker 1: lap band. That's the one that Al roker head in
Speaker 1: and he shipped his pants at the White House. Um wait,
Speaker 1: I don't think I remember that. But that cannot be
Speaker 1: someone's legacy. Okay, well that's oh no, no, it's it's
Speaker 1: well documented. Um this was this was five years ago,
Speaker 1: and it was the best idea because I was at
Speaker 1: two hundred and sixty pounds and I went down to
Speaker 1: one thirty and I was skeletal. I needed to gain weight,
Speaker 1: but I went that's you know what did, Bethany. I
Speaker 1: finally got to buy clothes because when you're an overweight guy,
Speaker 1: and I didn't. I didn't hate myself because I was
Speaker 1: overweight at all. I just didn't like sweating and I
Speaker 1: wanted to be able to fit into some cool clothes.
Speaker 1: I went close shopping crazy, and then you can actually
Speaker 1: start gaining weight. I can't fit into any of those
Speaker 1: clothes anyway. So our apartment is just sitting there by
Speaker 1: itself in Tribeca and it still has pre pandemic size
Speaker 1: clothing in it. So when I go back, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I have to I have to like pack to go
Speaker 1: to the city so I can have some jeans that
Speaker 1: fit now. But no, I lost a lot of weight,
Speaker 1: And do you still have noise about it at all?
Speaker 1: Or food noise or that I'm going to be fat
Speaker 1: again noise or any emotional There has to be an
Speaker 1: emotional aspect to losing a hushing and thirty pounds. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: Like ten miutes before this this podcast, I was at
Speaker 1: the refrigerator like, what are we gonna talk about. Here's
Speaker 1: some beef stew um. You know what it is, naturally
Speaker 1: and my doctor's my surgeon told me that your stomach
Speaker 1: starts to expand it's just gonna do it. And so now,
Speaker 1: because you know, I can blame it on pandemic, but
Speaker 1: it's all me I take for responsibility. So we've been eating,
Speaker 1: we've been drinking more, you know, we've been making bad decisions.
Speaker 1: So the weight's starting to come back. So it's bothering
Speaker 1: me because I never want to go back to that
Speaker 1: place again. It just wasn't for me. And uh so
Speaker 1: it's a struggle, but yeah, it's but you have a threshold.
Speaker 1: You're not really you're not really rationally afraid that you'll
Speaker 1: go back to that place. You just don't even like
Speaker 1: not being in control of exactly where it's supposed to be,
Speaker 1: exactly exactly. Yeah, yeah, it's on a thing. It's I
Speaker 1: talked about it because it's there's such an emotional aspect
Speaker 1: to to wait, and I wrote a book on it,
Speaker 1: naturally Thin and Noise about it and the emotions of
Speaker 1: it and holding onto things and it's it's a struggle
Speaker 1: for people, you know, and Also, I have so many
Speaker 1: friends who triple their workouts during pandemic and they lost
Speaker 1: a lot of weight, they stopped drinking and didn't have
Speaker 1: my other friends like me. We went we went the
Speaker 1: other way. Man. We're like, yes, but you know, we're
Speaker 1: starting to slow down it. It's it's under control to
Speaker 1: a point, and I'm feeling pretty good about it. Well,
Speaker 1: you're amazing. I so appreciate the conversation, the discussion, the
Speaker 1: authenticity um and just being so honest. So thank you
Speaker 1: so much for giving me your time. And what did
Speaker 1: we solve? What? What did we get to here? We
Speaker 1: got to the takeaway? So I'm gonna do my my
Speaker 1: I always do reflections, but I'll do them with Elvis
Speaker 1: because he's not sure that we learned anything. So I
Speaker 1: didn't say that. I'm asking you what you think, okay.
Speaker 1: So my reflection is that Elvis Duran is unique in
Speaker 1: that he knew what he wanted to do or listen
Speaker 1: to that gut instinct as a child and followed that path,
Speaker 1: but not with overly being tortured about it, just with
Speaker 1: one ft in front of the other and always being
Speaker 1: honest with himself about who he is. That also pertains
Speaker 1: to his um being gay and finding a way for
Speaker 1: that to work even in an environment where that would
Speaker 1: not normally work at all. Dallas, Texas Republican Bible Belt UH. Separately,
Speaker 1: he has found philanthropy and changed his whole life after
Speaker 1: not eleven by finding meaning through his career. So you
Speaker 1: can do something that you love, uh, and it can change.
Speaker 1: The journey can change, but you also can find meaning
Speaker 1: through that career, through your career UH, and that you're
Speaker 1: honest about your relationship and you're genuinely happy and still
Speaker 1: looking for the next chapter. So you're always searching. But
Speaker 1: success has been fairly simple, not because it hasn't been
Speaker 1: hard work, but because it has been about just the journey,
Speaker 1: not the destination. You're really have a clear brain, a
Speaker 1: clear head, and you retain information very well, better than
Speaker 1: anyone else I think I've ever met. Thank you. So
Speaker 1: that's my takeaway, my reflections. Remember to rate, review and subscribe.
Speaker 1: I usually do this without you here, but thank you
Speaker 1: all so much for listening. You're amazing, Elvis, You're incredible,
Speaker 1: and I appreciate you. Have the happiest holiday, and um
Speaker 1: I have a happy new year. Thank you. Bethany you
Speaker 1: were Favis. Thank you very much,