Speaker 1: Guess what decision we're about to make. Horrible decision. May
Speaker 1: the fifth, we are pulling up to London, Y'all's.
Speaker 2: The day you need to block out in your calendar.
Speaker 2: It's on a Sunday, So London surrounding areas, all the
Speaker 2: black people that live in Europe.
Speaker 1: Wherever you at, di's your chance. That's right. We're super
Speaker 1: excited to be bringing the last portion of the Climax
Speaker 1: Tour to London. If you came to our show last year,
Speaker 1: this will be a completely different.
Speaker 2: Show, wilder, more fun. Well I did get on top
Speaker 2: of that and do the sixth.
Speaker 1: And there was a woman who stapled money to her
Speaker 1: cheek and started bleeding. But we gotta step it up
Speaker 1: to London. We're gonna step it up, So head on
Speaker 1: over to hohorhive dot com and get your tickets now.
Speaker 1: Hey guys, welcome to a Dallan sized a dish your
Speaker 1: hopes of horrible decision. I'm your girl, Mandy b aka
Speaker 1: Downed aka pull Corkunths aka deb Beach. Welcome back, y'all.
Speaker 1: I'm we'sy.
Speaker 2: We're here for another episode in La But I gotta
Speaker 2: tell you how I know our two guests. Oh okay,
Speaker 2: So I've known Heather forever for following her because I
Speaker 2: just like following hot bitches.
Speaker 1: No, but I always un follow them when I go
Speaker 1: through my body it's morphia.
Speaker 2: I'll be like, on a bitch, I'm too fat for
Speaker 2: this corner, Like I gotta I gotta unfollow. And then
Speaker 2: I saw your page one day. I was like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, he's so cute. And then I saw Heather
Speaker 2: on it and I was like, oh god, no, yep,
Speaker 2: they're see when you follow niggas that look really good,
Speaker 2: you gotta look at the girlfriend. If a girlfriend's mid,
Speaker 2: you'll be fine, but the girlfriend's fine.
Speaker 3: Not now.
Speaker 1: The mid girlfriends end up getting pregnant over and over and.
Speaker 2: It don't matter though, because when they get with you,
Speaker 2: it's just like, oh yeah me, why oh I'm not
Speaker 2: about to get no Heather smoke, Oh, well, like too
Speaker 2: many people.
Speaker 3: Well, y'all.
Speaker 1: We are joined today by Tea Round and Heather Sanders,
Speaker 1: hosts of the Back on Fake podcast and Ladies Listening.
Speaker 1: Y'all may have purchased clothes because it's been around forever.
Speaker 1: Heather Sanders is the owner of so relaiboutique and We're
Speaker 1: excited to have y'all on here to talk about. We
Speaker 1: hoping they don't break up after this. Actually, but we
Speaker 1: don't dig into the way, should we do. Some Valentine's
Speaker 1: predictions by the end of this episode are we gonna
Speaker 1: want a man or not?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's do it. We're gonna do make us feel better.
Speaker 4: Wait, so you thought you was cute, y'all?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm good.
Speaker 3: Look y'all, I look good.
Speaker 1: Can I be honest? This is no shape?
Speaker 2: Okay, the girlfriend is fine.
Speaker 1: Kind of makes you be like, oh damn, it makes
Speaker 1: you look better.
Speaker 3: I look better. I look better because she looks better.
Speaker 1: Well, okay, they tell me this ain't true.
Speaker 2: When you see a niggro Instagram and his bitch is bad,
Speaker 2: you'd be like, his nick must be really good.
Speaker 5: He actually or they do make you think different, or
Speaker 5: the opposite happens.
Speaker 1: If you see a man and his chick is whack,
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, he probably like yeah, he's white, black energy.
Speaker 1: Y'all just going on. They don't even look good together.
Speaker 1: What's going on? Shore?
Speaker 3: I'm okay and I look good. Okay, I just I'm
Speaker 3: not just figured out today. I mean, I just I
Speaker 3: didn't know I've been in relationship.
Speaker 1: Right now, we can't deny or confirm this until she does.
Speaker 1: I wanted to start this podcast off with some icebreakers.
Speaker 1: I felt like we can have a little pune with this.
Speaker 1: I also gave you guys some questions to ask each other,
Speaker 1: because again, I want everyone to be single like me. Anyways,
Speaker 1: let's start with some icebreakers and we're gonna start off easy.
Speaker 1: So would you rather have sex in a car or
Speaker 1: in the shower? Because I think both are awful? So
Speaker 1: which one you would rather? Car?
Speaker 3: See? Bro, we did some cars like a couple of
Speaker 3: weeks ago. It was creak.
Speaker 1: Where car is? Is it a big truck? Is it
Speaker 1: a tiny car?
Speaker 3: I'm like, this is why I should have filmed that ship.
Speaker 3: You should have filmed it.
Speaker 1: Okay, what made it so hot?
Speaker 6: Though?
Speaker 1: Because car sexist? Kind of like high school?
Speaker 3: It is? But she still ain't never did that?
Speaker 1: You never did, Like I never did this before with you?
Speaker 3: Whoa bad?
Speaker 5: She said, that was the first time you never done Yeah,
Speaker 5: you've never done that before?
Speaker 3: Really?
Speaker 1: I mean, but yeah, it is teen ship. It's it's
Speaker 1: you know ship. Well, you don't have nowhere else to do.
Speaker 2: In fourteen years, you've never had sex in a card again? Me,
Speaker 2: you sucked a card or bus?
Speaker 1: How y'all ain't never do? Maybe you did a finger
Speaker 1: pop on the way home. No, I don't think so.
Speaker 1: Y'all were very adventurous. Well, now y'all are getting there. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're not really that adventures. Okay, that's I wouldn't tell y'all,
Speaker 1: would you?
Speaker 2: Did you say that like you wanted to be or y'all,
Speaker 2: it's just not really y'all say.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just not really both of our things.
Speaker 3: I guess you know what I mean, because if I'm
Speaker 3: touching the pussy, I'm trying to fuck at that point.
Speaker 3: As soon as I give it a couple of taps,
Speaker 3: I'm ready a couple of taps.
Speaker 1: It's what are your signs? Anything else? I'm an Aquarius? Happy?
Speaker 1: When's your birthday? February second? That's right, I'm coming up.
Speaker 1: Happy birthday. Okay.
Speaker 2: I don't know what this means for the two of you,
Speaker 2: but compatible I dated a lot of aquariuses, so it's
Speaker 2: funny that you said, wait, you think he was cute
Speaker 2: because every Aquarius updated man or woman, I feel like
Speaker 2: they're very into me. But they don't need much more, right,
Speaker 2: they don't need like crazy sex for me.
Speaker 1: I know yours was bitch. My nigga said, I need
Speaker 1: you to need me. He's why he cheated on me. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: sorry triggered All right? Would you rather only have sex
Speaker 1: in bed for the rest of your life or never
Speaker 1: be able to have sex in bed again? Clearly y'all
Speaker 1: are y'all are probably a little bit more in the bedroom.
Speaker 1: But I would have to go with option number two,
Speaker 1: never have sex on the bed again. Well it's yeah, okay, wait,
Speaker 1: so you were just fucking to count I mean the
Speaker 1: bed forever A look, she's like, as someone who hadn't
Speaker 1: fuck in a call fourteen years. I'll make you. I
Speaker 1: ain't gonna lie. I love even starting off like this
Speaker 1: little new little twenty two year old. I'm fucking We
Speaker 1: literally have to start in the bed first, and then
Speaker 1: I'll be like, okay, now we can move to the
Speaker 1: living room for round two.
Speaker 3: But I like you start in the bedroom, you walk
Speaker 3: to the living room.
Speaker 1: Oh no, We'll be starting in the living room because
Speaker 1: you know we have drinks. He rolling up the blunk.
Speaker 3: You know, I make it a little cute.
Speaker 1: I'm making a little environment. After the blunt roll, we
Speaker 1: just smokes a little bit past the total drinks with
Speaker 1: each other. I'd be like, cat, he got to the room,
Speaker 1: I want to start in the room a.
Speaker 3: Little, so he hid from the back boom. You know what,
Speaker 3: let's get up.
Speaker 1: Well, and that's the thing. He's like six seven and
Speaker 1: my bed is at least tall on the couch. It's
Speaker 1: a lot like we gotta figure this ship out.
Speaker 2: I think if I pick anything that wasn't a bed,
Speaker 2: it's couch or kitchen counter.
Speaker 1: Oh gir, I ain't never eating a.
Speaker 3: Now, bitch.
Speaker 1: Now, this is where I wanted to get on. That's crazy.
Speaker 1: I mean all the counters, like as if it's never
Speaker 1: been on that couch. You sitting here like fuck fuck just.
Speaker 5: Was.
Speaker 1: I was very proud of the new space. So when
Speaker 1: we first moved in here, I was like, let me
Speaker 1: take this nigga up see it. I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: can you believe it? Look at the lights. I also
Speaker 1: look at the cameras.
Speaker 3: So you gave him some head in here.
Speaker 1: Oh, I ain't gonna be like I felt wrong to
Speaker 1: fucking here For some reason, I don't know why. I
Speaker 1: didn't mind. So y'all both know, so no, no, no another.
Speaker 1: I have a studio in Brooklyn, and I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 1: When I got it, I was like, I kind of
Speaker 1: feel like a wrapper, and I felt like that's what
Speaker 1: you had to do, was sucking a studio. I got
Speaker 1: a studio, Come over here and fuck me in the studio.
Speaker 1: It's not like That's felt like I was putting my
Speaker 1: masculine energy on the tape. Do y'all ever have when's
Speaker 1: y'all moments where you have tubes?
Speaker 3: Children?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 1: Three?
Speaker 3: Four?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, four.
Speaker 2: So when you're with the kids and you get the
Speaker 2: breakaway when you have a vacation, do you ever feel
Speaker 2: like when y'all are on vacation you have wild moments.
Speaker 2: It's when the kids at school on vacation.
Speaker 3: It's going crazy. I'm fucking all up and down Mexico,
Speaker 3: all up and down the road work.
Speaker 1: And then they're always trying to like Tequilo, you up, hey, vacage. Yeah,
Speaker 1: give it to me. You don't even know what it is.
Speaker 1: They say, you know, you don't care. We never heard
Speaker 1: of but they'd be like, this is from here, this
Speaker 1: is good ship. They ain't got this back at home. Nigga,
Speaker 1: that should be twelve us. Yeah, it don't be nothing.
Speaker 1: Now we're gonna start real quick and spice this up
Speaker 1: before we get into our vanilla ship t roll. Let's
Speaker 1: start with you with your question, because Heather is a
Speaker 1: little bit more spice.
Speaker 2: So for the listeners, Mandy has prepared some questions for them.
Speaker 2: They're folded up in their laps and no one knows
Speaker 2: what's on the papers yet.
Speaker 1: And ask the question on the paper. You're gonna answer it,
Speaker 1: but also ask Heather and act like you know how
Speaker 1: to talk it to a Mike mister podcast.
Speaker 3: Okay, here we go. Would you rather? Would you rather
Speaker 3: I become best friends with my ex or best friends
Speaker 3: with your ex.
Speaker 1: Ship and I only best friends with yours? What you
Speaker 1: would rather him become best friends with his ex? Am?
Speaker 1: I tripping or nobody in the room would have said,
Speaker 1: I ain't gonna lie. I don't know if I would
Speaker 1: have said that. Hell no, I don't want to hear why.
Speaker 5: Because him and his ex are already cool and I
Speaker 5: can deal with it. I know they both don't want
Speaker 5: each other. My ex just coming around, like why are
Speaker 5: you around? Like you can't even be around me? My
Speaker 5: energy nothing like, you're just done completely.
Speaker 1: Wait is it an X you have children with? Though?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that doesn't count well because he's picking up that's
Speaker 2: a that's a that's a respect you have for a
Speaker 2: human that is supersedes a friendship.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well don't know none of my ex at that
Speaker 3: point walking around. I was just whoever, I was a
Speaker 3: type niggas.
Speaker 1: Okay, I can get that. I can get that. Heather
Speaker 1: asked Tyrell the question that I gave you, because.
Speaker 5: We're only five minutes in it and it's already fucking
Speaker 5: spiciest fuck? Would you rather cheat and be caught or
Speaker 5: be cheated on and never be told?
Speaker 1: She can be caught. I'm not getting cheated on. I'm
Speaker 1: not knowing, he said.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna ask, Okayterrell, would you rather cheat and be
Speaker 5: caught or be cheated on and never be told?
Speaker 1: Damn?
Speaker 3: Yeah, just don't even tell me.
Speaker 1: Really well, I'm not gonna lie as a man if
Speaker 1: he If he cheats and then gets caught, it causes
Speaker 1: a lot more.
Speaker 3: If you're cheat on me and I know we're done.
Speaker 2: But if you cheat, what if this she knows fteen
Speaker 2: years you know that her person loves you.
Speaker 3: We're done.
Speaker 1: What if she got a Mexico moment with her homegirl.
Speaker 3: Look it's gone, don't look at me, don't touch me.
Speaker 3: I don't know like you gave them.
Speaker 1: Okay, let me ask you a question.
Speaker 2: That you know the type of woman you have, right,
Speaker 2: you know that she's probably not the type to have
Speaker 2: sex with someone else. What would you rather find out
Speaker 2: she made a really deep emotional connection with someone, or
Speaker 2: that she just fucked a nigga on vacation.
Speaker 3: I mean, you could just fuck a nigg on vacation.
Speaker 3: I mean if I'm a pick between the two. But
Speaker 3: still you gave him a hand. Okay, this is oh my,
Speaker 3: this is that is the emotional connection. Because the emotional connection, well,
Speaker 3: to him, he probably like, damn, this is crazy.
Speaker 1: To be fair, the one that I had. Where you sit,
Speaker 1: I would like I would like to ask you then,
Speaker 1: in terms of cheating overall, clearly sex is an issue.
Speaker 1: Do you believe in emotional cheating? Or like liking posts
Speaker 1: on Instagram? Do things like that bother you?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: What? What do you what? What is your idea of
Speaker 1: cheating outside of sex? Are there other forms of it?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: You if you crack open a DM bitch, you cheat.
Speaker 3: You crack on the DM. You cheating, and if you
Speaker 3: like it, you cheat. If you talking to a nigga
Speaker 3: too much, you cheat. This is just as you can
Speaker 3: get look brother, because for god, I don't I'm you know,
Speaker 3: a slight you can give. You can give a guy
Speaker 3: the slightest emotion and he thinks he got it. So
Speaker 3: don't you ever do no ship like that? So if
Speaker 3: you if a guy DMS you and then you take
Speaker 3: your time to put him in general or a priority
Speaker 3: probably whatever it is, and you click, you but you
Speaker 3: know and now I don't like you, so it way
Speaker 3: too much.
Speaker 1: So you're thinking of the way that men respond to
Speaker 1: feeling like they might be in the end, which.
Speaker 3: Is the issue. It's not even really what are you allowed.
Speaker 1: To have guy friends? You have guy friends? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: have a lot of guy friends. So what's the difference
Speaker 1: with that, because those are emotional relationships.
Speaker 3: They all gay, and they Momi not my homies. Her
Speaker 3: homies is gay, and then her other friends is my homies.
Speaker 5: No, but recently I've met a lot of new men
Speaker 5: friends because I go to a new gym and I
Speaker 5: met a lot of new men friends.
Speaker 1: And you're okay with me having them, they must not be.
Speaker 3: They cool. They all they at the gym. They cool,
Speaker 3: They got wife, they they cool with me too. It
Speaker 3: ain't like I don't know them. I don't know of
Speaker 3: themmy so okay, it ain't nothing like that.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, I want to get into our fanilla ship
Speaker 1: because fourteen years I want to know if you guys
Speaker 1: have done this. This has been a constant conversation recently,
Speaker 1: even Cameron Diaz spoke about it. So this is from
Speaker 1: the New York Post. Sleep divorce isn't just a trend.
Speaker 1: New scientific research actually backs the separate bed theory, so
Speaker 1: let's get into that. A new research from the University
Speaker 1: of Michigan finds that it's actually more beneficial for couples
Speaker 1: to sleep apart than to get especially if a just
Speaker 1: to have the disruption free eight hours being the goal.
Speaker 1: The news comes as more and more couples are opting
Speaker 1: out of conventional shared beds sleeping arrangements. Again, Cameron Diaz
Speaker 1: spoke about it, and she's now pushing the stigma, saying
Speaker 1: that her relationships are healthy because there are separate rooms
Speaker 1: and separate breads for her and her partner. Now, I
Speaker 1: want to have a conversation because this used to be
Speaker 1: a thing with my last relationship. When y'all get into
Speaker 1: an argument living together clearly having children in their own rooms.
Speaker 1: Have you guys thought to have separate beds? Have y'all
Speaker 1: slept separate after an argument? How do you go about
Speaker 1: the sleeping arrangements after an argument with each other?
Speaker 3: If I'm arguing with you, I might lead You know, Okay,
Speaker 3: I'm definitely going to sleep in another room. My energy
Speaker 3: is toe up, so I'm gonna just go somewhere else.
Speaker 3: But what Karen Die is saying, I think she's that's
Speaker 3: rich nigga shit. That's like Oprah Stadman, Get your ass
Speaker 3: in the backyard. I got a house for you, like rich.
Speaker 3: That's rich people shit, like they always have their own homes,
Speaker 3: separate homes. I'm gonna go over here, Hollywood, you go
Speaker 3: over here Beverly Hill, Like that's they shit, normal people.
Speaker 3: We do not do that. You better get your ass
Speaker 3: in the house full time. Is it like we don't
Speaker 3: do that? Well?
Speaker 2: No, they were saying separate bedrooms, separate letter even like
Speaker 2: out of pocket, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like you think having separate bedrooms in the same house
Speaker 1: as I people want to.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't even want to. I don't even want
Speaker 3: to be in the house by myself, Like I can't
Speaker 3: even be alone.
Speaker 5: Well, we got into it last night and his ass
Speaker 5: was in his back on fig room downstairs sleeping, okay.
Speaker 1: And I was totally fine with that. And you still
Speaker 1: have like, no, you need to be in the bed
Speaker 1: with me.
Speaker 5: We need to say I love you before we go
Speaker 5: to sleep, like we need to be together before we
Speaker 5: go to sleep.
Speaker 1: We need to kiss before we go to sleep.
Speaker 5: And now I'm like fourteen years I'm like, nigga, if
Speaker 5: you want to go sleep on the couch, please go
Speaker 5: be my fucking guest. If you want to go down
Speaker 5: sleep in your little man, can't go be my guest.
Speaker 5: I'm fine sleeping with my baby. My baby sleeps with
Speaker 5: us anything.
Speaker 3: Nothing.
Speaker 1: My question is what happens next. You guys go to
Speaker 1: sleep mad at each other. You slept in separate rooms,
Speaker 1: and now what does communication look like in the morning
Speaker 1: to get over whatever y'all argued about. Well, this is
Speaker 1: the first time we've talked all morning.
Speaker 2: Let me ask you a question that I'm interested in
Speaker 2: to be what you said that now you've let it go.
Speaker 2: Do you think that comes from a place of I
Speaker 2: think the largest issues in my relationships is that I
Speaker 2: didn't necessarily feel like I was super safe in it.
Speaker 2: Like you fighting, but you know you're gonna end up
Speaker 2: with this na, you know what I mean, you've seen
Speaker 2: the love whatever.
Speaker 1: Do you think that's why you don't give a fuck
Speaker 1: that he sleeps somewhere else?
Speaker 2: Or is it because you've learned that he needs space
Speaker 2: because some women can't give men space.
Speaker 5: Probably a little bit of both. Like, I know he'll
Speaker 5: get over it. He's just mad right now. He gets really,
Speaker 5: really really upset, and then he'll start coming down and
Speaker 5: then he'll think about it and then we always end
Speaker 5: up being good. But he does need time, and I
Speaker 5: just really don't care anyways. I'm just like, go ahead,
Speaker 5: because I need time too, because we have to be
Speaker 5: apart else we're just never gonna stop fighting to keep
Speaker 5: the spirits up.
Speaker 2: Because I need to have some faithistus. I say, because
Speaker 2: I really do want to know, though. Can you tell
Speaker 2: me about something in the last fourteen years where maybe
Speaker 2: it was, like you know, when you feel like you'll
Speaker 2: never get over something. Tell me about maybe an issue
Speaker 2: in your relationship or something you've got on each other's
Speaker 2: nerves with that.
Speaker 1: You fixed that, we fix that, you overcame. Uh, just
Speaker 1: something that's a recurrent theme.
Speaker 2: Like with my ex, he felt like I wasn't considered
Speaker 2: enough so that he was a real OCD nigga. He
Speaker 2: was like, Yo, I know you don't think it's a
Speaker 2: big deal that I need things a certain way, but
Speaker 2: it makes me so angry with you all day I
Speaker 2: can't even look at you. And over time I started
Speaker 2: to really respect his space and like encourage it and
Speaker 2: just pay attention that it's really something in his brain.
Speaker 2: Even though it's not important to me, it's important to him,
Speaker 2: whether it be a love language maybe too. Maybe she
Speaker 2: likes gifts or affirmation and you learned it.
Speaker 1: Go ahead, because you complain about me all day. I
Speaker 1: don't do this. I don't do that. You do say.
Speaker 3: Something it ain't no fucking sweet no. You know you've
Speaker 3: been working on it, working on big you know, attitude problem,
Speaker 3: and that's just not with me, you feel me. That's
Speaker 3: just going out in the world of talking crazy saying
Speaker 3: crazy shit. You know what I mean, Like, uh, you know,
Speaker 3: just not giving the best vibe. You feel me, like,
Speaker 3: not being just not being who you're supposed to be
Speaker 3: as a human sometimes, and everybody can't take that, like
Speaker 3: that hard aggressive Heather, you know what I mean? So
Speaker 3: you you calm down with that a lot. I told her,
Speaker 3: you know, just be positive, be positive. You know everything
Speaker 3: is good. You don't have to be so hard all
Speaker 3: the time. So she's doing that more, she's doing that more.
Speaker 3: It's taking fucking years. How do you do?
Speaker 1: How do you communicate? Because clearly you seem to like
Speaker 1: a certain part of her, and when she gets out
Speaker 1: of that character, you're like, God damn it, can you
Speaker 1: go back to the soft, kind, nice Heather? That I like,
Speaker 1: how do you get her if she's in a space
Speaker 1: where your like the vibes is off, do you have
Speaker 1: something to where you let her know? Like, how do
Speaker 1: you communicate that it's something you don't like?
Speaker 3: I say, that's what okay, that's what I gotta work
Speaker 3: on too, okay, because I don't have no communication skills either.
Speaker 3: So we both got to work on our our communication
Speaker 3: skills with each other, telling each other a little bit softer,
Speaker 3: you know, how things are supposed to go and what
Speaker 3: we're supposed to do. Because I'm right off like barking
Speaker 3: like a dog. You know what I mean, Like, shut
Speaker 3: your motherfucking ass up.
Speaker 1: I don't you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: With a girl that's too nice and sweet, even the
Speaker 2: comment that you made about my girl can't do this
Speaker 2: this that?
Speaker 1: Do you know who do shit like that?
Speaker 2: Real sweet and nice girls and they have no idea
Speaker 2: that they're disrespecting their man. If your girl isn't a
Speaker 2: super aggressive or dominant woman, then you end up with
Speaker 2: a bitch who probably pisses you off because she's too
Speaker 2: nice to another nigga or she's too friendly in the
Speaker 2: gym and doesn't separate the line. Those type of girls
Speaker 2: work with men like.
Speaker 1: You, So you want this.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 2: No, if you hear that video of Cone's wife because
Speaker 2: with the nigga and she was like you got it me?
Speaker 1: You saw that, Yeah, like.
Speaker 3: By my face, no, no, my leg would be like
Speaker 3: it's just different though, because she just like her attitude
Speaker 3: is just like it's just like mine. And she's a girl,
Speaker 3: she's a woman, and you can't be like me all
Speaker 3: the time, like people are gonna take it the wrong
Speaker 3: way and I can't really protect you everywhere where you at.
Speaker 3: You talking crazy like that, You might get out of
Speaker 3: a nigga.
Speaker 1: Why I look at him, he really just wants to
Speaker 1: protect you. I would like to ask you, then, knowing
Speaker 1: that there's this communication gap, how do you stay with
Speaker 1: someone for fourteen years and y'all are still figuring out
Speaker 1: how fuck to communicate with each other? Because that's like
Speaker 1: almost now a deal breaking for me. I need someone
Speaker 1: who I feel like I can come to and hold
Speaker 1: accountable for how they act and then not turn into argument.
Speaker 1: When I was telling you, I broke up this nigga
Speaker 1: thirteen years, thirteen times, it's because every time I questioned
Speaker 1: him about his fuck ass behavior, he just wanted to
Speaker 1: run because he didn't want to be held accountable for
Speaker 1: how he made me feel in his actions. So it
Speaker 1: was just easier to break up, take some time, and
Speaker 1: then I missed the dick and we just came up
Speaker 1: and we never ever talked about any of the.
Speaker 3: Issues where everybody not perfect, but I.
Speaker 1: Get that, But now I'm to the point where no,
Speaker 1: I would like to be able to work through things
Speaker 1: and you understand and respect my feelings and truthfully apologize
Speaker 1: so that I know you're not gonna keep doing that shit.
Speaker 3: So this being.
Speaker 1: Fourteen years in and y'all still figuring out how to
Speaker 1: communicate when y'all are young. You know, only when you
Speaker 1: hear fourteen years there's a different Like twenty years old, y'all.
Speaker 1: Niggas in y'all thirty, so you're twenties into your thirties,
Speaker 1: now becoming parents together, all these things. How do you
Speaker 1: get this part and not have a strong communication foundation.
Speaker 3: We I'm just saying, were not perfect. Everybody, y'all.
Speaker 5: He communicates well better than you, yeah, better than me.
Speaker 1: He communicates well.
Speaker 5: He'll tell me how he feels his feelings, what he
Speaker 5: doesn't like, what he does, like, he'll communicate.
Speaker 1: That really well. You are so lucky. Literally, I still have.
Speaker 5: Problems with communicating because I'm just like fuck it, Like
Speaker 5: I don't care.
Speaker 1: I'll just be done.
Speaker 2: You know, your men do tell us how to treat them,
Speaker 2: and we don't really listen sometimes, And it's it's interesting
Speaker 2: because like I feel like I would beg to that
Speaker 2: in my last relationship.
Speaker 1: I'd be like, damn, what's he thinking about? What's he feeling?
Speaker 2: And I was always trying to guess and it came
Speaker 2: off like I was so desperate.
Speaker 1: When you have a clear communicator.
Speaker 3: It is good.
Speaker 2: It's just did that nigga push you off so much
Speaker 2: to where you can He just makes me so upset
Speaker 2: because he talks crazy. Like the way he talks is
Speaker 2: so disrespectful, crazy, like to even just if he gets
Speaker 2: into an argument with somebody that he works with, it's
Speaker 2: just so disrespectful.
Speaker 1: Crazy.
Speaker 5: But that's how my dad was too. And my dad
Speaker 5: is really stern and mean. And I feel like I
Speaker 5: kind of like you know how you kind of like
Speaker 5: you know what you grew up around me, Like my
Speaker 5: dad is.
Speaker 2: A short Jamaican in my mind, I like that make
Speaker 2: me feel like a princess. Yeah, that's I mean, keep
Speaker 2: up the princesship when you're mad.
Speaker 1: You know he does not.
Speaker 2: He does not let me keep up the princess ship
Speaker 2: when he's mad. That's tell me your favorite thing about
Speaker 2: your partner.
Speaker 1: Oh that's a good question. You go first, but it'll
Speaker 1: be a while for me. You think hard, and it
Speaker 1: can't it can't be physical.
Speaker 3: Oh, oh my god, it's fourteen years.
Speaker 1: You shall go first. I go first.
Speaker 5: He I love how he is like he leads, He
Speaker 5: leads us like he is like a good like provider
Speaker 5: for our family. He'll like make sure he leads me
Speaker 5: in the right direction. He's always given me really good advice.
Speaker 5: He's so fucking funny. I love that he's funny. He's
Speaker 5: just like a boss. But and he's just a thug
Speaker 5: and just like but he's soft with me. And it's
Speaker 5: just like certain things. Majority most of it is just
Speaker 5: he makes me laugh and he's good to our kids.
Speaker 1: That's that's a good fourteen years. You make me to laugh,
Speaker 1: like everything you just said. Now, what is your favorite
Speaker 1: thing about Heather?
Speaker 3: I don't know. You know, she's a she's a great businesswoman,
Speaker 3: great business woman, very very except can't be physical, but
Speaker 3: very beautiful, A great mother, great mother, man inside out
Speaker 3: is wild. I couldn't ask for, you know, anything else.
Speaker 3: Very consistent man like I always say I'm an inconsistent person,
Speaker 3: but you know I can. I learned from her a lot.
Speaker 2: Well, don't get mad when that attitude consistent too, because
Speaker 2: it is. I have never heard a man say a
Speaker 2: woman is consistent.
Speaker 3: She's very consistent when she puts her mind to something
Speaker 3: and she just does it every day, whether if it's Surreller,
Speaker 3: money for nails, whether if it's TikTok you've seen this
Speaker 3: out there with the fucking tripod God Mody' got that
Speaker 3: motherfucker like it's a dial. No, Paul, she just got
Speaker 3: that bitch Like I'm like, thisfucker, little crazy.
Speaker 1: Sorella's a real big deal though.
Speaker 2: And I would say, I think what's impressive about it
Speaker 2: is we're in such an ig boutique era that like
Speaker 2: you did this before that shit though, and I recently.
Speaker 2: I mean I think I always remembered it was you.
Speaker 2: But when I was shopping in there maybe a few
Speaker 2: months ago after the flea market, this white girl said to.
Speaker 1: Another way girl, Yes, this is black house. Oh wow.
Speaker 5: And I was like, they love that, they love it, bitch,
Speaker 5: keep it going.
Speaker 1: I say that shit every day.
Speaker 6: Now.
Speaker 3: You brought up dil Do. So here we go.
Speaker 1: We're getting into our hoo dirt, and I mean, all right,
Speaker 1: come down with this sout of it, you know, for
Speaker 1: our hore dirt. I would love to know from both
Speaker 1: of you, how being together for so long, especially even
Speaker 1: after having kids, how you keep it spicy for you.
Speaker 1: I want you to talk about what sex look like
Speaker 1: after having your children and how you really got comfortable
Speaker 1: with that, and for you, it's being in this relationship
Speaker 1: so long, and even through fatherhood and her being pregnant,
Speaker 1: how y'all kept it spicy.
Speaker 3: I got back into it. I think, I think it's
Speaker 3: just you just love. You gotta love your partner. You
Speaker 3: feel me just like, you know. I always think about
Speaker 3: the first time I met her, you know, and that
Speaker 3: first time I met her, I'm like, Damn, I wanna
Speaker 3: be with you forever, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 3: she walked up to me and I was like, Damn,
Speaker 3: be with you forever. So it's just like it's always
Speaker 3: that feeling, like, you know, I don't never have to
Speaker 3: fuck another girl's just to I always every time I
Speaker 3: look at her, I think about that, and you know,
Speaker 3: it just give me that same feeling. You know, we
Speaker 3: have sex or whatever the case may be, It's just
Speaker 3: always the same for me. So I love it, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean, Like, I really don't care.
Speaker 5: He's always liked me, though, fact because I've been through
Speaker 5: a lot of stages of Heather.
Speaker 1: I've been with him since I was nineteen years old.
Speaker 5: I'm about to turn thirty four on Friday, and I've
Speaker 5: been through a lot of stages. I've went through postpartum,
Speaker 5: like I've gained like one hundred and thirty pounds, like
Speaker 5: I've just I've had Bell's palsy. My whole face was
Speaker 5: like paralyzed on the right side. And I've just like
Speaker 5: not always been my best and he always still loved me.
Speaker 5: He was fucking me up when I have Bell's palsy.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I.
Speaker 6: Really don't love.
Speaker 1: I was almost cheering up and.
Speaker 3: No, no, I try to give a little cool, little answer.
Speaker 3: I was just saying anything, but I think said she
Speaker 3: had Bill's falls, your whole face like this, the whole thing,
Speaker 3: and one of the whole girls like you was fucking
Speaker 3: her with Bill's falls.
Speaker 1: You cold, no, sir, she made her feel that it
Speaker 1: wasn't right.
Speaker 7: So she in that ball fucking gold Craigs. She was
Speaker 7: let me see it again, she gotta look back.
Speaker 1: When I let's just say one when I was in
Speaker 1: New York, and the other.
Speaker 3: One was look it was doing this show.
Speaker 1: Were you like focusing on the cities like or did
Speaker 1: you just learn to live with.
Speaker 3: You just got to be in there close?
Speaker 1: Maybe you just like you you know that? So then
Speaker 1: with all of let's promove the belt. Know, then maybe
Speaker 1: if you could give I've shared I've lost eighty pounds.
Speaker 1: I've been as high as two thirty five all the
Speaker 1: way down to one fifty. I want to know what
Speaker 1: tips you would maybe have for women who have experienced
Speaker 1: those different weight losses only because to how I showed
Speaker 1: up in the bedroom where my confidence is a lot
Speaker 1: different now. Yeah, outstandards now, But I want to know,
Speaker 1: like being in a relationship, how that affected you sex
Speaker 1: sex wise, and how you say confident.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I just always knew that I was a bad bitch.
Speaker 5: I always knew that Plissy was it. I just know
Speaker 5: that I was it, you know, And no matter how
Speaker 5: big or I was, I knew that I can still
Speaker 5: do certain things that you know. But it did kind
Speaker 5: of mess with me a little bit, like I'm not
Speaker 5: I don't even want to be touched.
Speaker 1: At some point in times.
Speaker 5: I'm like, I don't want to be touched, I don't
Speaker 5: want to do this, I don't look good enough whatever.
Speaker 5: But still, deep down inside, I knew that he always
Speaker 5: loved me no matter how I looked. I knew I
Speaker 5: still had it, and I knew that it was still
Speaker 5: good everymore.
Speaker 2: If you gained some weight like big, like that's at
Speaker 2: least to me. Niggas fuck with thick girls with big No.
Speaker 2: Yeah they gained one hundred. Yeah, let her get she
Speaker 2: gained another body, let me get it out when you're big, right,
Speaker 2: because you've got a beautiful face.
Speaker 1: But Bell's palsy. I know the way.
Speaker 2: To me, I'd be like that could come and go.
Speaker 2: We don't know if that I going back up. I
Speaker 2: know that's love.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: That was.
Speaker 1: And he was like every day like trying to figure out,
Speaker 1: like how can we fix this?
Speaker 5: Cause I was just like, you know what, this is
Speaker 5: how I am, Like I was like ready to give
Speaker 5: up on life. I just had a baby, Like I
Speaker 5: was focused on taking care of my baby.
Speaker 1: Like I didn't care how I looked. I was just like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take care of my baby.
Speaker 5: He was lucky to even be in this world because
Speaker 5: he almost didn't make it there in labor. So I
Speaker 5: was just going through a lot dear that time. So
Speaker 5: I mean that it really phased me. But he was like, no,
Speaker 5: we got to get over it, Like you can't be
Speaker 5: out here like this, Like you could be like Heather,
Speaker 5: this is not the end of your life, you know.
Speaker 1: I was like, you could just delete by Instagram like
Speaker 1: Romeo from iMX. You could have just done the iPad,
Speaker 1: I could have you know.
Speaker 3: What I done that. I was like, it was you
Speaker 3: see a picture?
Speaker 1: Where how did that happen? I think it was caused
Speaker 1: from stress.
Speaker 5: It's caused uh after pregnancy and stress and just different things,
Speaker 5: just not taking care of yourself. And I really wasn't.
Speaker 5: So it was like, oh, I was reading everything like
Speaker 5: oh do yoga, like meditate, eat healthy, just go on
Speaker 5: about your daily life.
Speaker 1: That's not gonna work out. Don't tell me to do yoga.
Speaker 5: And and that's what I accepted. And he was like
Speaker 5: hell no, like that's not what it. That's not that's
Speaker 5: you know, that's not it.
Speaker 1: I'm a doctor.
Speaker 2: I want to ask a pternal question really quick because
Speaker 2: where when women podcast, we very rarely have men on
Speaker 2: talking about being dads, but postpartum is a common theme
Speaker 2: with women. What happens with you when you see the
Speaker 2: person that you love being depressed as fuck?
Speaker 1: You don't even know what to do?
Speaker 3: Like me, have you from the ghetto? And she told me, ship,
Speaker 3: I'm thinking about throwing my baby down the stairs. I'm like, bitch,
Speaker 3: I got to get my baby up out of here.
Speaker 3: Who was going, and I was like, I thought she
Speaker 3: was just like maybe she needs some attention. Maybe I
Speaker 3: don't know, maybe she going crazy. I don't I didn't
Speaker 3: know what.
Speaker 1: It was, did you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well she had went to the doctor or whatever
Speaker 3: the case may be, and they was like, well maybe
Speaker 3: you have postpartum, you know, And I start googling it,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, and I'm like, let me
Speaker 3: see if this is the symptom. And so I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: she got all of it. So I feel like a
Speaker 3: fucked up person because I took it hard on them,
Speaker 3: you know, like, what the fuck are you talking about?
Speaker 5: Don't ever fucking stand about get my baby? Bitch like
Speaker 5: going crazy on me. But I'm like, I'm just letting
Speaker 5: you know. Because we have a three story house, so
Speaker 5: we have three flights of stairs. So when I'm going
Speaker 5: up to make my baby a bottle, I'm holding my
Speaker 5: baby so fucking tight because there is yeah, and I'm
Speaker 5: like praying, and I'm like, what the fuck is this ship?
Speaker 5: And I'm not feel like yourself, Yeah I did it,
Speaker 5: but I'm like, I know I'm not crazy, and I know.
Speaker 3: I never do it.
Speaker 5: I know I'll never actually do I just couldn't ever
Speaker 5: physically see myself doing it. But why am I thinking it?
Speaker 5: I don't want to think like this. I don't want
Speaker 5: to hold my baby tight when I'm walking up the stairs.
Speaker 5: I'm like, something's not right. And I didn't experience that
Speaker 5: with my first kid. I was like, back to my normal.
Speaker 5: It's really just the hormones.
Speaker 1: I had a conversation on my periods this podcast where
Speaker 1: this girl had got on birth control, and birth control
Speaker 1: was making her when she got to a red light
Speaker 1: wanting to run it just like she had suicidal ideologies. Bro,
Speaker 1: those are this shit?
Speaker 2: Yeah, just no, you want to fuck normal and not
Speaker 2: get pregnant, but you might die, like I know, literally.
Speaker 1: Just any type of medicine or anything like, I don't just.
Speaker 3: I don't know, feel like a fuck the person during
Speaker 3: that time, don't she tell me that? I was like,
Speaker 3: oh fuck because the ship I didn't did because I'm
Speaker 3: so extra out. I'm like, man, give you my baby.
Speaker 3: I'm just super op protecting my kids anyway. And I'm like,
Speaker 3: I'm a do it. You go over here and do
Speaker 3: whatever you got going on.
Speaker 1: And after googling it, then how did you for support through?
Speaker 1: What would you recommend.
Speaker 3: So after I did that, I was just like, all right,
Speaker 3: I got you. You know what I mean, whatever you
Speaker 3: need and help whatever you got going on, like you
Speaker 3: go over here. My biggest thing right now is you know,
Speaker 3: if if anybody out there you have any topic, stress
Speaker 3: or depressed or anything like that, go work out, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean, that's one thing. Go to the gym,
Speaker 3: or let's run. Let's go take some walks and do that.
Speaker 3: You feel me like, I'm just helping her around the house.
Speaker 3: Anything had to do with the kids. I did it, baths, diapers,
Speaker 3: stand up, late, sleep, bottles, I did anything, every every
Speaker 3: single thing.
Speaker 1: So just to help you recognize that that helped that
Speaker 1: it switched whenever he thinks out what was.
Speaker 3: Going on with you?
Speaker 1: Right, yeah it did because she was like again, this
Speaker 1: is real, Yeah, this is real.
Speaker 5: And I'm like thank you because I'm I'm trying to
Speaker 5: like tell you that I'm having a problem and you're
Speaker 5: just like downplaying it like whatever, like you're crazier trip
Speaker 5: and whatever. But I'm like, no, this is like for real,
Speaker 5: like I'm not eaty, it's trying to be extra.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 1: People don't believe in depression. They don't know, but I
Speaker 1: really don't. You said, will help a lot of dads
Speaker 1: out there.
Speaker 2: I have a friend who recently had a baby, who
Speaker 2: like was venting to me, and it's hard because I
Speaker 2: don't have kids. She's like, you don't understand, like the bath,
Speaker 2: Like I'm already I got the C section. It's like
Speaker 2: hurting me to bend over. She was like, and this
Speaker 2: nigga just thinks I'm being needy because I'm asking them
Speaker 2: to help me with a bath. And it does sound simple,
Speaker 2: but these little things make someone really feel appreciated.
Speaker 1: I got fat for this fucking baby. You can't get
Speaker 1: this motherfucker bath.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean with you just having another human and
Speaker 5: you have to make sure that you take care of
Speaker 5: this person all day, from when you wake up to
Speaker 5: when you go to sleep. It is nice to be like, hey,
Speaker 5: you know, I'll take them at bath tonight and then
Speaker 5: you could go take your own bath, Like I can
Speaker 5: go enjoy my shower, or I can go you know,
Speaker 5: I like to smoke, like I can go like do
Speaker 5: other things in which baby, because you have four, so
Speaker 5: we have one that's not mine, okay, and then I
Speaker 5: have three of my own.
Speaker 1: But this was my second baby. Oh wow, Yeah, so
Speaker 1: you scared to when you got pregnant for the third
Speaker 1: time after experiencing this, then, were you like, I don't
Speaker 1: know if I want to do this again.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: When I got pregnant, I was like so sad. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to do this again. I'm so scared.
Speaker 1: He was like, fuck, no, don't do it.
Speaker 5: And then I called my mom like I'm pregnant, like,
Speaker 5: but I don't know if I want to have it.
Speaker 5: And my mom has four girls, and she's like, have it.
Speaker 5: Each pregnancy is different, like you're not it's not going
Speaker 5: to be the same as zaying, like you won't experience
Speaker 5: the same things. And I'm so happy that she told
Speaker 5: me that, because I was like, I'm gonna go get
Speaker 5: an abortion like I am, because I don't. First of all,
Speaker 5: I never lost my weight from my second I just
Speaker 5: got over Bell's palsy. I just got over postpartum depression.
Speaker 5: I'm just now kind of feeling like myself. I don't
Speaker 5: have myself fully back yet, and I like to have
Speaker 5: myself kind of back before I get pregnant or else
Speaker 5: She's gonna be a big man.
Speaker 1: Else.
Speaker 5: I was just already was a big mess. I'm like,
Speaker 5: fuck it, I'm already a mess. Might as well have
Speaker 5: another baby. And she is the best, like, I'm so
Speaker 5: happy that I made that decision, like to have another baby.
Speaker 5: She like completed our family. She's so happy. She's like
Speaker 5: the best.
Speaker 1: I'm glad.
Speaker 2: She talked about wanting to have an abortion because we
Speaker 2: associate abortions with single people, and it's just, you know,
Speaker 2: consider it inner relationship after two kids, and I was
Speaker 2: sad because I'm like, like, I'm not a.
Speaker 5: Kid, like I'm not sixteen where I have to go
Speaker 5: have an abortion. And I call my mom and I'm
Speaker 5: just like, yeah, like I think I want to have abortion.
Speaker 5: She's like what she was like, No, you've already had kids.
Speaker 5: You're not having an abortion. If you get pregnant, you're
Speaker 5: having your baby. That's just what it is.
Speaker 1: Did you watch it come out? Were you in there
Speaker 1: like a douola holding it?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I was, you know, you had that postpartum depression.
Speaker 3: And then she got bills pausing, I'm like, life is
Speaker 3: spinning in this is getting Yeah, I'm like, this is wow.
Speaker 3: So I'm so you're scared too. Now I'm fully in it.
Speaker 3: You feel me now now I'm fucking this lady, this
Speaker 3: lady with Bell's palsy and now she pregnant. Get over
Speaker 3: the ship, right, I'm like, we're not having no kids.
Speaker 3: That's out.
Speaker 1: We're not. So what did that conversation look like? Clearly
Speaker 1: you're scared, but I'm like, cut it out. You also
Speaker 1: were like yo anymore either?
Speaker 5: Well, because he is like my best friend and he
Speaker 5: gets he gets all of my emotions, attitudes, everything, the
Speaker 5: most he's he's with me the most.
Speaker 1: We're together all day. He's my best friend.
Speaker 5: So any little thing, before I call my mom, before
Speaker 5: I call my sisters, anything, I'm going to him. This
Speaker 5: is how I feel, this is what I'm going through.
Speaker 5: I'm losing it with him. So he does get a
Speaker 5: lot of me, which is why he probably gets so
Speaker 5: fucking annoyed with me. But he was just like, I'm
Speaker 5: not doing it, Like I'm not dealing with you like that.
Speaker 5: On another level, I just got over this shit with
Speaker 5: you in Zane, like I'm not doing anything.
Speaker 1: I'm curious to know. Then, bringing up the conversation around
Speaker 1: abortion and being single, a lot of women have the
Speaker 1: final say, which a lot of men normally get upset
Speaker 1: for if they're like, I told you I didn't want
Speaker 1: this baby. I told you, whatever, you still want to
Speaker 1: have it? Anyways, what did the conversation that look like
Speaker 1: when after your mom said no, have this baby, you
Speaker 1: then coming back to him and be like, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: have it?
Speaker 3: Was there?
Speaker 1: Any Yeah, if he was mad at me for like
Speaker 1: he didn't talk to me. We literally did.
Speaker 5: Not talk probably the longest time in our relationship, for
Speaker 5: like seven full days, oh wow, because he was so
Speaker 5: upset with me and my decision. And I was like,
Speaker 5: you're a piece of shit, like you don't want me
Speaker 5: to have another baby. But I'm like, whatever, he went
Speaker 5: through a lot, I went through a lot. Whatever, but
Speaker 5: he'll get over it. But we literally went.
Speaker 1: Seven days without talking. He was so upset with me.
Speaker 3: But look, but I'm like, you.
Speaker 1: Want to go to my first doctor's appointment with me?
Speaker 1: And he did.
Speaker 3: Look, of course, I'm gonna go post party Bell's palsy
Speaker 3: before we have Before we even have that, we have
Speaker 3: this traumatizing, ass fucking pregnancy. When my son comes out
Speaker 3: ten pounds, nobody knows he's ten pounds. She has this
Speaker 3: young man through still vaginally.
Speaker 1: It's supposed to be pounds is a whole lot.
Speaker 3: So he's coming trying to get squeezed out. The doctor
Speaker 3: don't know what's going on. I'm looking at the doctor,
Speaker 3: me and the doctor at the thing like.
Speaker 1: That, at the thing at the whole at the point.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm at that thing with him, like we gonna
Speaker 3: figure this out. We look, we both looking. I'm looking.
Speaker 3: Did he cut her open?
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, oh, you saw the slight.
Speaker 3: And then then he's yanking on him. Now he's pulling
Speaker 3: his arm out boom. You know what I mean. If
Speaker 3: a lot of people don't know out there, I gotta
Speaker 3: break your plexus injury right now because I had a
Speaker 3: motorcycle accident. So my right arm don't move, but I
Speaker 3: just move like I'm normal. So a lot of people
Speaker 3: don't really, you know, it's just I look normal. I know.
Speaker 3: I'll just talk myself how to you know, carry myself.
Speaker 3: But he came out with this same injury, because you
Speaker 3: can have this injury when you were a child, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean. So he came out finally he
Speaker 3: came out, and he wasn't breathing. I'm so I'm just
Speaker 3: trying to look for the cry. Where's the cry? Sixty
Speaker 3: seconds twenty seconds.
Speaker 2: They also say when there's no cry, that your kid
Speaker 2: could be autistic or something could be wrong.
Speaker 3: So so my boy, they ic you come in put
Speaker 3: my bone. It's the hundred people over there, they doing
Speaker 3: it up. Finally I go over there too. I'm over
Speaker 3: there with him, like I'm all over there. He finally
Speaker 3: got like a little cry like, oh he got a breath,
Speaker 3: Oh he good. Then he gave a little bit more cry.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh he good, he good, Like it was
Speaker 3: just fucking me up right, And then his arm wasn't
Speaker 3: moving like and he just moving and he just was
Speaker 3: like his arm moving. I'm like, hey, come over here, man,
Speaker 3: this arm ain't moving like. They like, what's going on.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I got the same injury. I know it.
Speaker 3: I've been having it.
Speaker 5: It's like when babies come out there like trying to
Speaker 5: move be cause they they really don't get to move
Speaker 5: in there, so they're trying to like spread open and moved.
Speaker 5: And his arm was just staying down there and he
Speaker 5: was moving this hand. So Terrelle is like, what is
Speaker 5: going on with him? Like what's happening?
Speaker 1: And they didn't even they couldn't even they didn't even
Speaker 1: know to the next day. But I'm not gonna lie,
Speaker 1: I think. And we never get to hear how to
Speaker 1: stop sucking a shit niggas, brother listen, because we never
Speaker 1: get to hear the traumatizing side of what pregnancy means
Speaker 1: to the fathers especially do show up in the room
Speaker 1: and do care and are proud to be fathers and
Speaker 1: welcoming new life. This is where it was traumatic for you.
Speaker 3: Traumatic.
Speaker 1: I don't believe that.
Speaker 2: Actually it's obviously as love and care about each other,
Speaker 2: especially the things you've just said. I don't even think
Speaker 2: there needs to be a relationship. I think men just
Speaker 2: actually have to be more responsible and more caring and
Speaker 2: proud to be fathers. Like, yeah, you know, I have
Speaker 2: a friend who recently had a baby with a girl
Speaker 2: that he doesn't know that well, and I'm just so
Speaker 2: impressed with dad that he's been and even me.
Speaker 1: I even said to him like, oh shit, I ain't
Speaker 1: all sucking and shit. He was like, just because I'm
Speaker 1: a good man, bro, And I'm like, wow, we always
Speaker 1: associated good dad with love, and I think men just
Speaker 1: need to really step it up to play. We don't
Speaker 1: have a lot of examples that ever. I mean, some
Speaker 1: men are great dads, but awful partners, and I think
Speaker 1: that that's what we see a lot of them want
Speaker 1: to be bothers. There's just strained relationships where women want
Speaker 1: partnership with those people. I wanted to ask y'all though,
Speaker 1: outside of having kids becoming moms and dads, where men
Speaker 1: really want to be fathers, a lot of them, a
Speaker 1: lot of women want to be wives. And Heather, we
Speaker 1: were having the conversation and you have gone viral where
Speaker 1: people have dissected this fourteen year relationship where you do
Speaker 1: not have a ring and you are not a wife.
Speaker 1: What are the some of the things they've dissected in
Speaker 1: your relationship that you felt like, damn, how do they
Speaker 1: find is shuit?
Speaker 5: I definitely have a ring, it's just not I definitely
Speaker 5: have a ring, it's just nothing on paper. But I
Speaker 5: feel like because we kind of our relationship kind of
Speaker 5: started on the internet, like we were on Instagram in
Speaker 5: twenty ten when it first came out, like a lot
Speaker 5: of og people like really know us, like being together,
Speaker 5: so they're just like, why you know she was really
Speaker 5: positive the girl who cracked it all off. Oh yeah,
Speaker 5: they've been together so long. They have beautiful family, beautiful kids,
Speaker 5: Like why are they not married? I love this couple,
Speaker 5: and she she did stay some good points. She's like
Speaker 5: she's not going to be able to make any medical
Speaker 5: decisions for him, She's not going to be able to
Speaker 5: do this for him, do that for him.
Speaker 1: But I don't know. I just feel like.
Speaker 5: We've like always just been like a hustle and like
Speaker 5: grinding like couple ever since we've known each other, and
Speaker 5: just always like on the go, always on the move,
Speaker 5: always chasing after something. Not marriage though. What scares you
Speaker 5: about putting that on this relationship on paper? Well, because
Speaker 5: every single literally every single person besides maybe my uncle
Speaker 5: and my aunt two of them I have nine have
Speaker 5: literally got married and got divorced. And it's such a
Speaker 5: big fear for me because especially people that have been
Speaker 5: together for a while, they found like, okay, you know,
Speaker 5: we're i'ally going to tie the knot and then a year,
Speaker 5: year and a half passes a divorce. That's my biggest
Speaker 5: fear because once I get married, I'm not getting a divorce.
Speaker 5: How I grew up my mom, what my mom and
Speaker 5: dad taught me, You're not getting married just to get
Speaker 5: a divorce.
Speaker 1: Do you want to get married. I'm getting married.
Speaker 5: I'm for sure getting married. He asked me twice. He
Speaker 5: asked me when I was nineteen years old with a
Speaker 5: fake ring. I've said this before, but he's asked me
Speaker 5: what a fake ring from? Uh, what's it called?
Speaker 1: What's up place? Fred Siegel?
Speaker 5: Okay, okay, And that's why I was like, Okay, I'm
Speaker 5: going to actually move to California with him because he
Speaker 5: like gave me a ring.
Speaker 1: He really likes me, so I go.
Speaker 5: And then we just were always on the move and
Speaker 5: I was like, I'm not worried about a wedding, like
Speaker 5: I'm not pressed. And then again in twenty seventeen, he's like,
Speaker 5: we started making money and we started being successful in life,
Speaker 5: and so he's like, I'm going to upgrade her ring,
Speaker 5: I guess. And then on my birthday he gave me
Speaker 5: another ring, which opris you what's your hands? Yeah, and
Speaker 5: it's beautiful. And then after that, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Right now or You're just gonna be engaged forever, Like.
Speaker 5: I feel like I'm married to him, and I feel like, Okay,
Speaker 5: a paper doesn't define our loyalty.
Speaker 1: A paper doesn't define us, you know how does it
Speaker 1: make you feeling here and sapless things?
Speaker 3: She's full of ship. Let me tell you this, because
Speaker 3: this is just how I just do so much, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean, on our relationships. So and she don't.
Speaker 3: You know, a lot of girls on here, they just
Speaker 3: be pressured get married, get married. It's just a pressure thing,
Speaker 3: but they don't know what goes into it. So like her,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, growing up trying to see you.
Speaker 3: Oh we're gonna we're gonna get married one day. A
Speaker 3: lot of people, a lot of women are not doing
Speaker 3: that shit. So when I asked her to marry me,
Speaker 3: you feel me after that? It's she has to go
Speaker 3: do all these things. And she didn't know that. She
Speaker 3: thought I was gonna go pick her wed and dress out,
Speaker 3: go pick the chapel out.
Speaker 1: She said, Oh, you're the fool putting me up for
Speaker 1: more work.
Speaker 3: You know what I was gonna go do all So
Speaker 3: she was just waiting on me to set the date
Speaker 3: and do everything, and it was her job. And she
Speaker 3: didn't know this and I didn't either, But in my heart,
Speaker 3: for some reason, I was like, I'm just giving his ring.
Speaker 3: But then that was it. Oh wow, did we finally
Speaker 3: figured it out one day and I was like, damn,
Speaker 3: your daddy's supposed to.
Speaker 1: Be paying for this. I'm like, well that's going And
Speaker 1: then I was like, you're supposed to be playing the
Speaker 1: water family growing up married? Like, were you not familiar
Speaker 1: with what it meant to be married? Uh?
Speaker 3: My mom was married, but it wasn't like marriage wasn't
Speaker 3: like a crazy thing like when I was growing up,
Speaker 3: Like yeah, but then, you know, when I was growing
Speaker 3: up and I started really realizing my mama was going
Speaker 3: through a divorce, you know, I was just I'm on
Speaker 3: my mama's side. You know, I was going through Uh, nigga,
Speaker 3: fuck this, nigga, you know what I mean, Like, I'm
Speaker 3: on mom side whatever she talking about.
Speaker 1: Fuck you do you get exhausted at people asking why
Speaker 1: you aren't? Yeah, it's so annoying.
Speaker 5: It's so annoying, But it is crazy, Like fourteen years
Speaker 5: in y'all are married?
Speaker 1: Why? Why? Why is it just the internet or is
Speaker 1: it everything's giving your Yeah?
Speaker 5: No, I mean the only person that presses me in
Speaker 5: my family is my grandma and I she is ninety eight.
Speaker 5: She turned ninety eight this year, and I just feel
Speaker 5: like she's not going to pass away until I get married.
Speaker 1: I feel like God to.
Speaker 5: Her on this earth because every time she's on the
Speaker 5: phone with me, every time Terrell comes to Texas and
Speaker 5: visits her, she's like, well, when are you gonna get married?
Speaker 1: Heather, Like she's ninety eight years old. I feel like
Speaker 1: that's marrying you guys, her grandmama.
Speaker 2: A lot you guys will tell you it's either gonna
Speaker 2: be the super fly Travis Courtney, we ran into Vegas
Speaker 2: blind niggas got married nobody else, or is it gonna
Speaker 2: be the big Like it's.
Speaker 3: I just feel like, yeah, we could go do the
Speaker 3: We could we could go do the you know he
Speaker 3: loved and they had a big party because you know,
Speaker 3: niggas just want to eat your food anyway and do it.
Speaker 3: So it's really you.
Speaker 2: See how much other people are involved in I feel like,
Speaker 2: to your to your point, you already have the love,
Speaker 2: a great partner and children, and then we still need
Speaker 2: something else from you. With me, I felt like I'd
Speaker 2: had so many accomplishments in my life, whether academically or
Speaker 2: just personally, and then the next thing is, Okay, where's
Speaker 2: your man? And it's so many things that we say
Speaker 2: to women that don't we don't realize make them feel worse,
Speaker 2: Like I don't even know how that must make you feel.
Speaker 2: To think you've got such a great friend, you're beautiful,
Speaker 2: you have followers that love you. You know, a lot
Speaker 2: of girls online aren't well received from women, And to
Speaker 2: think like, God, damn, bitch, can you not sell?
Speaker 1: You're not happy for me?
Speaker 3: You know, as time goes on, I see, oh they
Speaker 3: got married in two years. Oh they divorced. Now, oh
Speaker 3: here go my other friends. Oh they get married. We're
Speaker 3: going I'm looking at there's a.
Speaker 1: Lot of trauma I think, or instilled fear. And I
Speaker 1: said all the time, there's not a relationship that I
Speaker 1: that I want that I want to replicate, like I
Speaker 1: don't have a good, healthy relationship as an idea of
Speaker 1: what I would even want. I thought that the other
Speaker 1: day and this morning I know who it is for me,
Speaker 1: and I've been saying, we don't know anybody that has
Speaker 1: a relationship that we want. Sham Booty and Jared they
Speaker 1: are happy, healthy every time I see him, and mind you,
Speaker 1: they're flirty and open. And even when I'm talking to
Speaker 1: Jared alone in their house or a party or anything,
Speaker 1: I always find he finds a way to touch her
Speaker 1: or just say something to her, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I love men like that, Like, yes, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna fox some other bitch in your face, but
Speaker 1: I want you to know I'm here. They are so
Speaker 1: supportive of each other, and I think that like for
Speaker 1: a woman that talks about sex for a living, there's
Speaker 1: so much to say about I don't know if y'all
Speaker 1: know Shamboody, but there's so much to say about her nigga.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, like, oh, you let your
Speaker 2: girl do this, or you let her post lingerie online.
Speaker 2: And they're so happy and healthy.
Speaker 1: I still wouldn't want their relationship EI there because I
Speaker 1: don't think I would want to work with my man.
Speaker 1: And they work, they work closely together, they are parents together.
Speaker 1: Like to me, I think I would want that separation
Speaker 1: from my partner to where he has his own career
Speaker 1: and does his thing and is it super imported, I
Speaker 1: mean he does. They also they're share supportive and they
Speaker 1: work together.
Speaker 2: I do think I wouldn't want to work I think
Speaker 2: And I was gonna ask you guys this next, because
Speaker 2: I mean he's a rapper and talented by the way.
Speaker 1: But how was is it working together?
Speaker 2: Because you've been together so long, so now you get
Speaker 2: money together, which I think is a dream, but it
Speaker 2: could be tough.
Speaker 3: And that's what she just said. We worked together. We've
Speaker 3: been working together for the last seven years together every day,
Speaker 3: go to work together, wake up together, kids together. Yeah,
Speaker 3: we've been doing it. Yeah, I would say the last decade.
Speaker 3: We've been together every day.
Speaker 1: Compartmentalized though, how you talk to each other as business
Speaker 1: partners and how you because we're married together as partners,
Speaker 1: it gets it becomes difficult. That's why I know I'm
Speaker 1: in a marriage. I don't want to do it with
Speaker 1: my partner, don't want a business relationship with my partner
Speaker 1: because of those compartmentalizations of that, like the dynamics, and
Speaker 1: it's really hard to not take things personally and how
Speaker 1: someone shows up in business and not receive it as
Speaker 1: disrespect personally because nigga, you know me, Why am I
Speaker 1: doing all this work? Why are you not doing?
Speaker 3: Like? You know?
Speaker 1: So it becomes difficult. Would you advise against it now?
Speaker 1: Having worked together? Like, clearly you're not going to get
Speaker 1: out of business together. But for any couples listening, who
Speaker 1: may be considering going in here.
Speaker 3: I don't know, because I need her in certain certain areas,
Speaker 3: certain aspects. I need her in the business, like because
Speaker 3: certain things I wouldn't be able to do, and certain
Speaker 3: things she knows how to handle, and she takes over creatively,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. So if I don't have
Speaker 3: her there, like, I wouldn't be able to do those things.
Speaker 3: So she's she's needed, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, And
Speaker 3: I'm needed in my areas. And it's kind of like
Speaker 3: we're there, but we're not there. You know, she's over here,
Speaker 3: I'm over here doing it. I'm not. I don't mess
Speaker 3: with her space. I don't mess with her creative space.
Speaker 3: I don't mess with what she's what. You know, what
Speaker 3: she's built and what you know, what she's no what
Speaker 3: she knows. So for me, it's great, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean, it's great. So I wouldn't I wouldn't dare.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't dare go out there by myself and try
Speaker 3: to go buy women's clothes, buy my fuckself, then have
Speaker 3: a photo shoot, then created, then book models and then
Speaker 3: you know, and then have inspo on the board and
Speaker 3: you know, and then you know, pick out Fure. I know, yes,
Speaker 3: I know her, and so it's it's no way I
Speaker 3: could do that. So yeah, she's the I think it is.
Speaker 3: It's a very big help.
Speaker 5: And I just like having a man with me because
Speaker 5: being a woman in business, people will like try to
Speaker 5: get over on you, try to run over you think
Speaker 5: that you're not you know, like like more you know
Speaker 5: as what you should be and I do yeah or
Speaker 5: just like and I just feel like I have a
Speaker 5: certain respect when I have a man girl.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm gonna tell you Mandy and I Mandy
Speaker 2: is the longest business partnership I've ever had, right, and
Speaker 2: I have seen so many differences with WTF media specifically,
Speaker 2: like I have a male business partner, and it's crazy
Speaker 2: because I've been in business longer with Mandy, so I
Speaker 2: have been able to see how people treat me. So
Speaker 2: many times, a nigga will start talking to me someway
Speaker 2: and it's like he has to snap into it, or
Speaker 2: maybe it's an issue with a client and there's no
Speaker 2: respect there until he has to talk to them. And
Speaker 2: I completely understand that because when I think about it,
Speaker 2: you know, I don't really know if for myself, I
Speaker 2: can necessarily be like the hound.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I really don't want to be that person.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of times where my professionalism will just
Speaker 2: go if I get like that. And I think in
Speaker 2: business it's important for women not necessarily to have a
Speaker 2: male business partner fifty to fifty, but.
Speaker 1: There's only that one little representative. I think sometimes you
Speaker 1: need to just be like, Okay, yeah, you handle this. Honestly.
Speaker 2: I think it's really really helpful, and especially when men
Speaker 2: can respect you in that way too, because a lot
Speaker 2: of men will make you feel like you're not doing
Speaker 2: enough in business.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3: And going back to when you it was way back
Speaker 3: this when you was talking about being married, and you
Speaker 3: can't make the decisions whether or not something if I
Speaker 3: pass away or something like that. But go get a
Speaker 3: living trust, guys. It's something called a living trust or
Speaker 3: can get. You can create a wheel between you guys.
Speaker 3: You guys can definitely do that. So marriage is not
Speaker 3: the you know, not the last thing you can do.
Speaker 3: So living trust our will.
Speaker 1: Hey hold on, now, niggas gonna lean on that point.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm gonna just put your wheel.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna just won't anyway, you see, you were saying
Speaker 3: that to be nice, somebody about just won't anyway what
Speaker 3: I want to be in the wheel. You want the money.
Speaker 1: First off, you saying that a lot of these niggas
Speaker 1: ain't even got no money. Calm down, now, we're not
Speaker 1: here making the money. Let's be very Let's be very clear.
Speaker 1: When we made bro we date a lot of women
Speaker 1: a day in a whole bunch of broke ass niggas
Speaker 1: with no assets. I don't want niggas think we want
Speaker 1: money for child support or we want you to die
Speaker 1: to take your money. You ain't got nothing. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: we know this. Black black women entrepreneurs like clips.
Speaker 3: We got the money. We just need you.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, let me go back, let me, let me refocus.
Speaker 1: I feel like doctor m right now.
Speaker 2: I did want to ask something about Okay, so you
Speaker 2: have the businesses now the podcast, I want to ask you,
Speaker 2: Mandy and I. Through the evolution of our show, we
Speaker 2: have had fans pit us against each other a lot
Speaker 2: in a comment. We could be literally having fun ragging
Speaker 2: on each other and they're like, ow.
Speaker 1: They do that to y'all, and oh, man, really want me?
Speaker 1: The fuck gone? Really gone?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 1: Because men, you were on a male podcast.
Speaker 2: So now I don't know how many podcasts you have,
Speaker 2: but I know you were on one with with men,
Speaker 2: so I could see if they want to listen to you.
Speaker 1: Now they got to have it here. I can see
Speaker 1: maybe that.
Speaker 3: It's very very male driven, you feel me. And then
Speaker 3: they're very aggressive. That audience is very aggressive, and we're
Speaker 3: alive most of the time, so they get just a
Speaker 3: pick at you and fuck with you. So every little
Speaker 3: thing she says and does, oh, they're on it, you
Speaker 3: feel me, may oh, she fucked up the vibe. We
Speaker 3: just want homies in here. We don't need here.
Speaker 1: And here girl, you might need a secondary podcast.
Speaker 3: You can feel well, she she created her own channel.
Speaker 3: She's definitely gonna, you know, start doing our own thing.
Speaker 3: To me, I'll be feeling like it's just like a
Speaker 3: small percentage of people in there, and it's a and
Speaker 3: it's a very big percentage of people that have their
Speaker 3: well men that has their girl right there, and the
Speaker 3: men is like, you know what, what are you watching?
Speaker 3: You feel me like, hey, she on it. And then
Speaker 3: the woman start becoming fans of who she is because
Speaker 3: they're they're going to see her on social media, going
Speaker 3: to the going researching her on Twitter, Instagram, or whatever
Speaker 3: the case may be in TikTok and they're like, oh,
Speaker 3: I love that, So I really don't. I don't. I
Speaker 3: really don't listen to that. I gotta I need that.
Speaker 3: I need that. I need that different aspect you feel
Speaker 3: me on the show. I need a woman's opinion on
Speaker 3: the show sometimes, like I need I need a woman
Speaker 3: to say some bullshit, you know what I mean, some
Speaker 3: some ship a man wouldn't say, you know, and everybody
Speaker 3: just like, Oh, why she say that for you.
Speaker 2: It's funny because to me, when I would see it, I'd
Speaker 2: be like, Oh, that's Heather's boyfriend. So on that podcast
Speaker 2: you're yes, yeah, And it's like, I can't love that.
Speaker 3: She's like.
Speaker 5: But it's so crazy because when we met, he was
Speaker 5: doing better than me. I was in Dallas, Texas, working
Speaker 5: a regular job, trying to do something with myself, and
Speaker 5: then I met him and he was around all these
Speaker 5: celebrities and lived in Los Angeles, California, and was just
Speaker 5: big doing it. He didn't have a lot of money though,
Speaker 5: he didn't have nothing, but he was just around a world. Yeah,
Speaker 5: he was around the world that I wanted to be
Speaker 5: in too, and so I'm like, oh, he's like, you know,
Speaker 5: like I love him, He's so funny whatever. He brought
Speaker 5: me around his world and he kind of just brought
Speaker 5: me in it and I figured out my way through it,
Speaker 5: and I was in it for a couple of years
Speaker 5: until I was like, this is not what I want
Speaker 5: to do.
Speaker 1: Because I'm a real boss. I know I am.
Speaker 5: I don't have nothing, but I know that this is
Speaker 5: not what I'm meant to do. I'm not meant to
Speaker 5: be cleaning up after y'all and following after y'all. So
Speaker 5: I was like, I have to start my own and
Speaker 5: then I started my own thing with my other business partner,
Speaker 5: which is literally your twin. It's crazy. Yeah, yeah, I'm Brittany.
Speaker 5: And we started our business. Well, I started the business
Speaker 5: first and then met her probably like three four months in,
Speaker 5: and then we kind of just took it, you know,
Speaker 5: from there, and he was always involved though always it
Speaker 5: was just us three. I think that's I had my
Speaker 5: own thing.
Speaker 1: You don't want to work with was dope, Yeah, good
Speaker 1: for you for you. I just say me saying dope,
Speaker 1: don't mean I want it.
Speaker 5: But for what he was doing kind of just what, well,
Speaker 5: what I was doing kind of overpowered what he was doing.
Speaker 5: It was it was taking care of us, it was
Speaker 5: bringing the money in, it was it was I was
Speaker 5: kind of like.
Speaker 1: And he was the supporters. Can I ask you a
Speaker 1: question that I've really been curious about?
Speaker 2: So, and this is just to end on this. You're monogamous,
Speaker 2: correct from what I'm gathering.
Speaker 1: That means not a cheater rightly have sex with each other.
Speaker 1: He said, he don't need no.
Speaker 2: Other pussy having threesome. So okay, okay, I had known
Speaker 2: and seen you before from being on Adam's podcast, and
Speaker 2: I'm curious for you both of you. Adam is so
Speaker 2: known of sex on camera with his girl, right, and
Speaker 2: they have this very open and sexual relationship. Have you
Speaker 2: ever felt pressure to open your relationship because so many
Speaker 2: people nowadays, including us, are non monogamous, right, so many
Speaker 2: women are bisexual?
Speaker 1: And yeah, it just makes me I'm really curious about that.
Speaker 1: I ever have not on camera, not on camera, not.
Speaker 2: It doesn't just because they're they're like even when he
Speaker 2: wasn't having sex on camera right, Like, they're a very
Speaker 2: sexual couple and open and talking about it. And she's
Speaker 2: by like the way the relationships have evolved.
Speaker 1: Have you ever felt that pressure?
Speaker 2: And then on the other end, like, yeah, you're a
Speaker 2: monogamous guy sitting across from a man that's, you know,
Speaker 2: doing whatever he wants with his girl.
Speaker 1: I hated that too.
Speaker 5: I'm like, oh, Wally, And they're like he's gonna like
Speaker 5: completely change the way Torelle thinks what ever. But he
Speaker 5: was like, I'm my own person, like I'm Sean, He's
Speaker 5: not gonna change me. And then my mom called me
Speaker 5: one day. She's like this, Adam and Leanta that you
Speaker 5: all are around, like please, Heather, don't everything that you
Speaker 5: have to do this and she was like concerned, like
Speaker 5: you know that's not God's way and this is this
Speaker 5: like you don't do that head oh boy, And I'm like,
Speaker 5: i know, like I'm not attracted to girls, like I'm
Speaker 5: just a little different. I'm just not really like into
Speaker 5: it like that, I'm not gonna lie like even hearing
Speaker 5: even hearing that.
Speaker 1: I actually just had a conversation with my friend last night.
Speaker 1: I've had people literally to me, I feel like not
Speaker 1: respect me as a human being because I'm lifestyle, because
Speaker 1: I'm by because we talk about the sex pod. So
Speaker 1: I hate to know that you got that call because
Speaker 1: of what Adam and Lenda have chose to put out.
Speaker 1: Because I've literally had people treat me that way and
Speaker 1: I've literally no, no, no, no no. But I'm saying regardless,
Speaker 1: I don't know, and I ain't gonna put the person's
Speaker 1: name out there. But anyways, there's a friendship recently that
Speaker 1: literally has because when I broke up with my boyfriend,
Speaker 1: she felt like she couldn't be seen out with me
Speaker 1: because I was a single woman now and she is not.
Speaker 1: And I was like, purrible decision's been around that, And
Speaker 1: but that's what I'm saying. She doesn't know me for
Speaker 1: the things that I had to do out of survival
Speaker 1: of my twenties. I've shared it, but to know that
Speaker 1: now you really don't respect me as a human being
Speaker 1: because of how I live my life sexually. I hate
Speaker 1: that that that there's calls like that, Like I hate
Speaker 1: that I'm sure they've lost.
Speaker 2: I hate that friends like so, I filmed I do
Speaker 2: a show called sex Sells where I talked to business
Speaker 2: owners right, and it made me think of Lenna when
Speaker 2: you said, oh, we have a space to record our podcast.
Speaker 2: But I remember Lena took me to the house or
Speaker 2: she shoots herself right, Yeah. And when I went to
Speaker 2: her house, I saw I don't really know Adam or
Speaker 2: Lena that well, just industry shit. I saw him playing
Speaker 2: with his kid in the pool and their family, and
Speaker 2: even in my own brain, I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: there's so fucking normal, right, Like, I don't know whatever
Speaker 2: happened with your show. I'm not into too much tea,
Speaker 2: but people can be normal. I'm sure that relationship can
Speaker 2: be healthy, and this is healthy, and I think it's
Speaker 2: good to know that because joking about y'all not even
Speaker 2: having car sex before and this being the show all
Speaker 2: about sex talk right, vanilla sex, and that, like, these
Speaker 2: two relationships can be healthy. And I do think there's
Speaker 2: a lot of pressure and maybe this podcasting torutchwates of
Speaker 2: it to have women be opening their ship for niggas
Speaker 2: to fuck other bitches.
Speaker 3: But at that same time, you know, me being over
Speaker 3: there at that with the on the platform with him,
Speaker 3: he taught me a lot. First of all, I really did.
Speaker 3: I wasn't used to white people. Let's just oh.
Speaker 1: My god, it's Adam. I wasn't.
Speaker 3: I wasn't used to white people and these white people
Speaker 3: doing poor. So now my mind, yeah, it's all this.
Speaker 1: Is great white yo. See them like it's like they're crazy.
Speaker 3: But yeah, so my mind is opening. I'm not being
Speaker 3: judgment of. My mind is opening. You know. I'm bringing
Speaker 3: her around too. So we go to birthday parties at
Speaker 3: their home all the ship, you know what I mean. So,
Speaker 3: and it was like you said, it was beautiful. It was.
Speaker 3: It's a beautiful environment. If this young lady right, They'll
Speaker 3: be like, oh okay, this young lady right here, she's
Speaker 3: the biggest porn star.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, right here.
Speaker 3: So I'm looking it up.
Speaker 1: I'm like looking at her like this heart right there.
Speaker 5: I'm like, what, we're at a baby's first birthday part
Speaker 5: He's like this heart right here, busting it open, pussy out,
Speaker 5: titties out all.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh see this. It's it taught me not
Speaker 3: to be judgmental and sit like that because I met
Speaker 3: I'm then before I start speaking about her, I met her,
Speaker 3: talked to her, her boyfriend. She had everybody nice people,
Speaker 3: very nice people before I knew what they actually did.
Speaker 3: So that that did open my mind.
Speaker 5: A lot, Like I never judge. It's like this is
Speaker 5: their life, this is what they choose to do. Everybody's different,
Speaker 5: Like I'm like, maybe you could teach me some fun
Speaker 5: stuff to spice it up, because honey, I'm boring, Like
Speaker 5: I'm just.
Speaker 2: Not seeing some videos like I'm be real boring on
Speaker 2: some real ship. Not everybody needs the bell I'm like this,
Speaker 2: say the bells and whistle.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, okay, okay. Every don't ask as saying boring,
Speaker 3: But what what's not boring? Sex? Like I don't it's objective.
Speaker 3: I will say it's all ye, Like we get emails
Speaker 3: all the time supposed to do.
Speaker 2: I think spicy sex if you're not using toys or
Speaker 2: doing ship like that. Right, if we're not sticking our
Speaker 2: fingers in our niggas ass. I feel like that's always
Speaker 2: like a moment the Internet starts to get excited about
Speaker 2: bootoles and shit, right. I think spiciness is truly when
Speaker 2: you're outside of the two people that you are. Maybe
Speaker 2: you're doing crazy role play. Maybe it's getting rough and
Speaker 2: it's like you kind of escape mom and dad or
Speaker 2: the couple that's always been fucking you, get out of it.
Speaker 2: Maybe you're wearing.
Speaker 1: Different things because this sounds basic.
Speaker 2: Putting on a sexy outfit sounds basic, but it's something
Speaker 2: that we don't really do all the time, right, Like
Speaker 2: when you change something that you normally do. You've been
Speaker 2: together fourteen years, you know each other's favorite decisions, how
Speaker 2: to make each other come the next time. You do
Speaker 2: something that's different from the routine. That's spicy.
Speaker 1: I think spicy is subjective, right, Like for me, there's
Speaker 1: probably sucking another by, but maybe for you it was
Speaker 1: the car, Like but you just said, like we should
Speaker 1: have filmed this ship. For me, someone else is like
Speaker 1: the car is nothing, you know. The club for me
Speaker 1: is being watched or like watching other people or having
Speaker 1: people watch me. Like, that's spicy for me. I can't
Speaker 1: So I've tried to go to sex clubs.
Speaker 2: We were like, you know, AWA's interviewing people in the
Speaker 2: sex club and I enjoy being in the environment for
Speaker 2: the second mine kiss me in the sex clubs.
Speaker 3: Let's go.
Speaker 1: I want to just started off, you know how, like
Speaker 1: when you go to a club and ain't nobody on
Speaker 1: the dance Oh yeah, oh maaybe I'm starting it out
Speaker 1: going to the middle of the floor. Second dick, anyway,
Speaker 1: I will take you. Wait are you cool with that
Speaker 1: get up party this Saturday?
Speaker 3: Okay, so sex part I don't know if you so,
Speaker 3: how do you walk in fully glow? Yeah, and then
Speaker 3: take cloth?
Speaker 1: Well, I mean it literally even be a room like this.
Speaker 1: It could be a house like in New York. There
Speaker 1: laws or based like basement apart like at the bottom
Speaker 1: of the floor. They have beds laid out everywhere. There's
Speaker 1: normally someone selling drugs. There's a bartender. It's free and flowing.
Speaker 1: And then a lot of the women ended up going
Speaker 1: to the bathroom and they change into latex, leather, fishnets, lingerie,
Speaker 1: like just get really sexy. And you walk around the
Speaker 1: ones that I go to. There's consent speeches so you're
Speaker 1: given the play. There's puppy pads, there's condoms. There's squirt
Speaker 1: for squirting.
Speaker 2: And ping so that you don't get the dog.
Speaker 1: And then yeah, you you A lot of people are
Speaker 1: with their partners. They normally don't have single men there,
Speaker 1: so it's a lot more women or couples. And then
Speaker 1: you just start talking to people and the next thing
Speaker 1: you know, the person you're talking to might start licking
Speaker 1: your nipple and then can I eat your pussy? Sure?
Speaker 1: And then you go into the corner.
Speaker 2: And by the way, I would like to tell you, Heather,
Speaker 2: my apprehend I wouldn't be too apprehensive.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, be a judge people play
Speaker 1: it was it little judge, you know.
Speaker 2: I would actually say to you, I have noticed that
Speaker 2: women were really respectful of the men that I brought,
Speaker 2: and I was very surprised at that, because that was
Speaker 2: the thing I was kind of worried about the most,
Speaker 2: like I'm gonna I'm gonna go to the bathroom the
Speaker 2: next thing.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: They're really I feel like the average bitch doesn't understand
Speaker 2: that language, and people that are into crazier ship generally
Speaker 2: know how to communicate around it. And uh, that's what's
Speaker 2: made me feel the safest, even though I don't have
Speaker 2: sex and sex parties.
Speaker 1: But I think y'all some of the best sex I've
Speaker 1: ever had.
Speaker 2: I went to a sex party with this dude I
Speaker 2: was talking to and we were talking mad shit about people.
Speaker 2: I'm not looking at bit shodoes and the baby webs
Speaker 2: because she got mad, come on her baby laugh about ship.
Speaker 1: Like these white people over here.
Speaker 2: By this time we got home, we fucked crazy I
Speaker 2: think just being in one and around it's fun.
Speaker 3: So you can just go and watch.
Speaker 1: You can just go on watch and they enjoy you watching.
Speaker 3: You gotta be invited. Yeah, you gotta know.
Speaker 1: I'll send you to one I know about. We know.
Speaker 3: On Saturday.
Speaker 1: You know, it's a little grammy text party to I
Speaker 1: had a party on Saturday, but afterwards.
Speaker 3: You look, I'm coming to her birthday party Friday.
Speaker 1: I leave tomorrow.
Speaker 3: You gotta go back to she going to the sex party,
Speaker 3: income to the birthday.
Speaker 1: I want to see uncle waffles and you know, maybe
Speaker 1: all you waffles in the morning with a bitch, but yeah,
Speaker 1: someone might have blue waffles. Well let's go and Heather,
Speaker 1: please let everyone know where they could follow you, listen
Speaker 1: to you, support you, shot from you, and we will. However,
Speaker 1: I didn't even I never had a threesome before.
Speaker 3: Girl.
Speaker 1: We knew that from this. Oh you didn't. Y'all was
Speaker 1: in a moment, babe. It was something y'all just walking apart.
Speaker 3: A couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 1: She said, I don't know if you guys know, I've
Speaker 1: never done it. No that girl, Okay, what do you
Speaker 1: recommend to see you? Wait, bait, you don't you don't
Speaker 1: like girls, so why do you want to have to? Well,
Speaker 1: just because I'm like, he needs a little reward.
Speaker 3: Okay, this is what you gotta do.
Speaker 2: This will be the most fat all you gotta do.
Speaker 2: Y'all go to Vegas together or somewhere out of the country.
Speaker 2: You bring a bitch, let him fuckers. You can watch
Speaker 2: it if be really sexy and then if you wanted
Speaker 2: to stop your stock. But that's not that's what seek
Speaker 2: you see how you're already crazy. Maybe just let her
Speaker 2: suck his dick. That's the beginner, Like let her let
Speaker 2: her just suck his dick.
Speaker 1: That look all right, y'all. Saw everyone know where they
Speaker 1: can follow you, and we need the update on when
Speaker 1: this three someme take place.
Speaker 5: I'll let y'all know when it happens, but you can
Speaker 5: follow me on Instagram and TikTok at Heather Sanders Underscore,
Speaker 5: follow my two businesses to relay boutique money for nails.
Speaker 3: Yeah, back on Fig, back on Fig on YouTube, don't
Speaker 3: worry about none, fig Munity World on YouTube man and
Speaker 3: on Instagram A K I N G, T R E
Speaker 3: L L Underscore and.
Speaker 1: All of that information will be in the description of
Speaker 1: this episode, y'all, make sure you also head on over
Speaker 1: to whore Hive dot com if you are in London.
Speaker 3: We will be.
Speaker 1: There on May the fifth, Bitch at the Art Theater,
Speaker 1: So go on over to horror dot com and get
Speaker 1: your tickets. Also, go ahead and support us on our
Speaker 1: patreon this Patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions. This has
Speaker 1: been yet another episode of Horrible Decisions. It's bonus, bitches.
Speaker 1: Welcome to another bonus episode of Horrid blade Decisions. I
Speaker 1: am joined today with someone that you guys may be
Speaker 1: very familiar with. She is one half of the Cocktails
Speaker 1: thirty Discussions podcast, Medina Monroe.
Speaker 6: Oh that was such a great intro. Hello everybody. I
Speaker 6: know you've been waiting for me to come back and
Speaker 6: here I am.
Speaker 1: No, I don't think they've been waiting.
Speaker 3: I don't think they've been waiting.
Speaker 6: I said, are you getting cute?
Speaker 1: You said no, and bitch, you look cute. Bitch, this
Speaker 1: is just my hair is being molded so I can
Speaker 1: like have my pixie. I have no makeup on. Bitch,
Speaker 1: I'm not cute. No one told you to come in
Speaker 1: with a whole. I don't even know what you got going.
Speaker 6: I was channeling my inner Ain't Jemima happy black heads,
Speaker 6: you know.
Speaker 3: Because it's black his three months.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to say.
Speaker 6: It, Yetta, be careful you you can't say it as
Speaker 6: a white woman.
Speaker 3: Hope this show do me.
Speaker 1: I am not happy Black History Months everybody. I hope
Speaker 1: that you all enjoyed your Valentine's Day with your nigga
Speaker 1: or your sign nigga, or your sugar daddy or just
Speaker 1: the nigga, you fucking whatever. Book. But to start this
Speaker 1: episode though off, we're gonna get into some ice breakers
Speaker 1: that Medina has ill. So what's the first one. Let's
Speaker 1: let's get into get the first one.
Speaker 6: Oh, this is so perfect for you because you're gonna
Speaker 6: have such a crazy answer. What's wrong with having sex
Speaker 6: on the first day? What's wrong with it? What are
Speaker 6: the wrong things about having sex?
Speaker 1: That's the wrong thing? I'm the wrong person to ask that,
Speaker 1: because all the niggas that I've actually ended up being
Speaker 1: with long term or have even got connectual bonds to bitch,
Speaker 1: we fucked.
Speaker 6: The first night, really, but would you find anything any
Speaker 6: wrong things that happened with that?
Speaker 1: You know? You know, bitch, we both have these sexually
Speaker 1: liberated podcasts. So it's one of those to where we're
Speaker 1: all adults now, you know what I mean. So I
Speaker 1: think that when you were in your teens in your twenties,
Speaker 1: the idea of having sex on the first night, you know,
Speaker 1: was a bad thing. But I think we're adults now,
Speaker 1: and I think even men know that women like to
Speaker 1: fuck just as fucking much as they do. And if
Speaker 1: you turning me on and we vibe it to me,
Speaker 1: I think if I want to fuck you on the
Speaker 1: first night, that's that's a good thing because that means.
Speaker 6: I'm really into there's your phone ringing, Oh it is going, Yes,
Speaker 6: that's Oh.
Speaker 1: That was my nigga, y'all know he got the little special.
Speaker 3: Yeah. It was a.
Speaker 1: Bad and it was right here. But I'm like, I
Speaker 1: was like, it's why are you looking like that? My
Speaker 1: bad Joe. It was my nigga calling me nasty. Oh
Speaker 1: I had something. I mean, what would your answer be
Speaker 1: to that?
Speaker 3: Thought?
Speaker 6: Like?
Speaker 1: We are grown?
Speaker 6: We are we are, and sex should be We just
Speaker 6: have the sex and everything can just carry on how
Speaker 6: it would go if we didn't have sex, right. But
Speaker 6: one thing that I'm learning is and I've had relationships
Speaker 6: that started with we fucked on the first date, but
Speaker 6: that's not the norm. And I feel like there's a
Speaker 6: dynamic switch up when you have sex with the man
Speaker 6: too quick, even not even too quick, just when you
Speaker 6: give up, when you have some, when you give up
Speaker 6: them draws. There's this switch that I really don't like,
Speaker 6: and I try to hold on, try to hold on
Speaker 6: to it as long as I can. It's almost like
Speaker 6: before you have sex, they're so interested, they're courting.
Speaker 1: Because they're lying. Once they get the pussy, lot of me, bro,
Speaker 1: you gotta deal with. You gotta deal with a man
Speaker 1: who actually is not pressed on the pussy. That's the
Speaker 1: thing I feel like, Even if they're not pressed on
Speaker 1: the pussy, there's still a power change.
Speaker 6: Don't lie.
Speaker 1: Don't they know because you don't know that they press
Speaker 1: on the pussy, but they're only showing up as their
Speaker 1: representative to get the pussy. And so once they have
Speaker 1: the pussy, if you see a man switches up in
Speaker 1: his behavior or even in his courtmanship or how he's
Speaker 1: showing up to you, even on the telephone through text messages,
Speaker 1: that's because he got what he wanted. He's not a
Speaker 1: growl man. He probably wasn't even looking for a relationship.
Speaker 1: He probably was only looking for the pussy and because
Speaker 1: you gave it to him. So there is that scenario.
Speaker 6: But then there's also just like men want pussy, not
Speaker 6: that they just want your pussy, but they do want
Speaker 6: They're always motivated by that, whether they just want to
Speaker 6: fuck or they still want to be with you. There
Speaker 6: is a slight change, and I don't like a change.
Speaker 6: I try to hold on to it as long as
Speaker 6: I can, but they really don't be that long. Okay,
Speaker 6: next one, you catch your friends partner cheating on them
Speaker 6: in public, would you tell your friend that their partner
Speaker 6: is cheating?
Speaker 1: So I wouldn't say your nigga is cheating. I would
Speaker 1: say I saw your nigga out with this person. Here's
Speaker 1: the picture. You know who this woman is.