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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Angie and this is key On, your

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Speaker 1: favorite Okay Storytime host and we've got great stories coming

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Speaker 1: right up.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep this show alive.

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Speaker 3: My boyfriend shared her hobby with another woman, then turned

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Speaker 3: on me.

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Speaker 1: Was it D and D?

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Speaker 3: My female thirty nine boyfriend male thirty nine of five

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Speaker 3: years has picked up a hobby I dabble in. I

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Speaker 3: was excited to have a joint interest, only to find

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Speaker 3: out he's regularly doing it with a female friend while

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Speaker 3: I'm at work. By the way, this comes from soul

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Speaker 3: Siren twenty two and if you want us to make

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Speaker 3: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime subreddit.

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Speaker 1: I'm Carly, I'm Dakota.

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Speaker 3: We're here to give good advice goofully, but we don't

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Speaker 3: have all the answers. We really know what we would do,

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Speaker 3: so let us know you would do in the comments.

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Speaker 3: As Op says, it's an activity that can be done

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Speaker 3: solo or with someone as company. Just tell us the activity.

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Speaker 3: When I started to be bothered by the amount of

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Speaker 3: time they are spending together and at the same time,

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Speaker 3: his diminishing investment into time with me. He told me

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Speaker 3: that he prefers to do this activity and company, and

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Speaker 3: since I am not available, he's doing it with this person.

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Speaker 3: A couple of days ago, he proposed me to join him.

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Speaker 4: There's the hair.

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Speaker 1: It just really sounds so bad when ambiguous.

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Speaker 4: That's what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: Just tell me what sounds right.

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Speaker 3: If it's just like you guys crochet together or something like,

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Speaker 3: just tell us that plea. I happily agreed and pointed

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Speaker 3: out that his technique got much better than mine, and

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Speaker 3: so I'm asking for some patience from him. He then

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Speaker 3: said that he will likely do it alone since he

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Speaker 3: wants to feel unrestrained and have some quality alone time.

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Speaker 3: We have spent forty eight hours together before after not

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Speaker 3: seeing each other all week, I pointed out that he

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Speaker 3: told me the reason he was doing it with his

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Speaker 3: female friend was because he prefers company and I'm unavailable,

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Speaker 3: but now chooses to do it alone, leaving me behind.

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Speaker 3: I also said that whenever we did it together in

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Speaker 3: the past, I was happy to accommodate to his skill level. Well,

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Speaker 3: I don't see that from him now, he exploded.

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Speaker 1: He shut out.

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Speaker 3: He exploded, accusing me of trying to back him into

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Speaker 3: a corner, saying I'm holding him to his past statements

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Speaker 3: that they have nothing to do with present day. He

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Speaker 3: feels he is free to do what he chooses in

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Speaker 3: the moment, and resents having to explain himself to me,

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Speaker 3: who he says, is trying to mess with his head.

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Speaker 1: Really, I mean it really just sounds like it's you

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Speaker 1: and a dozen other people in a dimn room and

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of oil involved.

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Speaker 3: He later apologized and offered to do our common hobby,

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Speaker 3: saying he was worried about me feeling self conscious regarding

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Speaker 3: my now inferior skills regarding my now inferior skill and

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Speaker 3: didn't communicate it well. He says he isn't good at

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Speaker 3: communication and that after such a long time of being together,

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Speaker 3: I should be more understanding of it. I find this

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Speaker 3: lack of reciprocacy less and less palatable, increasingly unfair and stressful.

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Speaker 3: How do I address this? And we have some comments,

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Speaker 3: I still.

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Speaker 2: Don't know what we're dressed.

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Speaker 1: I think it is like not even like with a joke,

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Speaker 1: but it's like without knowing exactly what you're talking about.

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Speaker 1: It's pretty hard to gauge because it's so ambiguous.

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Speaker 3: It's like, what level of almost like betrayal is this?

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Speaker 3: Like is this a hobby that like takes a lot

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Speaker 3: of time. It's a hobby that like it really doesn't

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Speaker 3: make a difference if he's doing it alone, Like is.

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Speaker 1: There like, I mean, like what level of like intimacy

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Speaker 1: is doing this with a partner? Like you know, not

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Speaker 1: like you know what I mean, not like not like

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Speaker 1: bounchy bunt wow intimacy. But it's like, are you creating

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Speaker 1: like a bond with like this other woman or like

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Speaker 1: a very.

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Speaker 3: Talking bonding experience or is it just like we sit

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Speaker 3: in a room and do it at the same time.

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Speaker 3: Elevant comments Commenter one. It sounds like you're feeling left

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Speaker 3: out and undervalued, which is totally understandable. You deserve to

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Speaker 3: have your feelings hurt and respected, not just brushed off.

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Speaker 4: Ope, he respond He.

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Speaker 3: Says, I'm acting like police, and he shouldn't have to

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Speaker 3: explain himself to me that he expects nothing from me

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Speaker 3: that he doesn't give. When I point out past examples

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Speaker 3: where that is not true, he says that's different, or

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Speaker 3: says fair enough, and is mindful for a week or two.

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Speaker 3: After a while, he apologizes and says he didn't mean

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Speaker 3: to hurt me, but it keeps repeating two says, let's

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Speaker 3: call it.

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Speaker 1: What it is.

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Speaker 3: He's having an emotional affair and manipulating you when you

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Speaker 3: point out his consistencies. His explosion wasn't about feeling backed

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Speaker 3: into a corner. It was about getting caught in his lies.

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Speaker 3: The poor communicator excuse is just another manipulation tactic to

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Speaker 3: make you doubt yourself.

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Speaker 1: Some people really like getting caught their lies.

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Speaker 3: He's gaslighting you. He does this hobby with another woman

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Speaker 3: because he prefers company, but suddenly needs alone time when

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Speaker 3: you're available, then explodes when.

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Speaker 4: You point out this obvious contradiction.

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Speaker 3: This isn't about communication or skill levels. It's about him

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Speaker 3: wanting to spend time with another woman while making you

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Speaker 3: feel crazy for noticing. Stop accepting his transparent excuses. He's

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Speaker 3: not worried about your inferior skill level. He's trying to

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Speaker 3: justify spending intimate time with another woman while making you

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Speaker 3: feel inadequate.

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Speaker 4: This isn't about hobbies, but like it is though.

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Speaker 1: That's why some of these comments get so off the rails,

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Speaker 1: and it's like we literally have no information about what

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Speaker 1: they're even doing like like imagine this is just like

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Speaker 1: a tech in tournament or like a Mortal Kombat tournament from.

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Speaker 3: The beginning, Like the story is very much just like

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Speaker 3: I have a hobby. I'm not telling you that hobby.

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Speaker 3: My husband also has that hobby. He's been doing it

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Speaker 3: with some other woman. Won't do it with me, though,

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Speaker 3: what the heck?

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Speaker 4: And like that's it.

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Speaker 3: Like it's like it's more about like spending time with you,

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Speaker 3: Like why is he not spending time with you?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 4: This is it about hobbies.

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Speaker 3: It's about respect, and you're getting none. OPI responds, thank

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Speaker 3: you for your response. It hurts, but I needed to

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Speaker 3: hear it. Commentar three says, in regards to what OP

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Speaker 3: said about that the f so, he's basically saying I

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Speaker 3: lashed out on you because I assumed your feelings regarding

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Speaker 3: the situation and inferior skill lmao.

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Speaker 1: Rude.

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Speaker 3: He says he isn't good at communication and that after

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Speaker 3: such a long time of being together, I should be

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Speaker 3: more understanding of it. He's admitting he has this big

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Speaker 3: flaw in your relationship and then somehow twists it into

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Speaker 3: being your fault. You should be more understanding of it.

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Speaker 3: How about since he recognizes he has this problem, he

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Speaker 3: actually works on it himself. I also don't understand how

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Speaker 3: you could possibly be more understanding. You communicated your thoughts clearly,

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Speaker 3: and he responded by lashing out and accusing you of

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Speaker 3: all sorts of things. So next time he wants you

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Speaker 3: to just accept that kind of treatment? Or what? How

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Speaker 3: can you be more understanding of his inability to solve

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Speaker 3: conflict and communicate? How do I address this? Stop letting

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Speaker 3: him use these manipulation tactics on you. He shifts blame

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Speaker 3: and then asks you to be more understanding. If that, oh,

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Speaker 3: he says, thank you for your answer. He says he

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Speaker 3: should be free to do whatever he feels like in

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Speaker 3: the moment, and that I shouldn't hold his past statements

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Speaker 3: against him because he's free to change his mind and

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Speaker 3: do things differently than before. He first said I made

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Speaker 3: things too complicated, so he decided to drop it. Then

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Speaker 3: he said he was worried about me not having a

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Speaker 3: good time and rather said we don't do it. Commoner Foo,

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Speaker 3: So your boyfriend is building a new relationship with another

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Speaker 3: woman is trying to blame you for forcing him to

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Speaker 3: spend time with this other woman. Because you are not available.

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Speaker 3: Ask him how he's available to you, and maybe you

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Speaker 3: should reciprocate if it is all that innocent by having

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Speaker 3: your own buddy for your hobby and spend.

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Speaker 4: Time with r O.

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Speaker 1: Why are people so upset that, like men are able

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Speaker 1: to make friends with women and that women are able

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Speaker 1: to make friends with men. Like we need to freaking

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Speaker 1: get over that. Not every single friendship somebody makes is

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Speaker 1: like nefarious.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, However, to like actually be serious for a second

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Speaker 3: about this story, Like, I do think it's a problem

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Speaker 3: if you go to your partner and you say, hey,

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Speaker 3: I really feel like we haven't been spending time together

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Speaker 3: and we have this shared hobby. I would love to

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Speaker 3: do this with you instead, and then him being like, well,

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Speaker 3: actually you really don't want to do it with you,

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Speaker 3: But then he's spending all his time with someone else

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Speaker 3: doing it. Yeah, that is a problem that like should

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Speaker 3: be fixed, right.

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Speaker 1: I was just spewing more to that comment. But maybe

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Speaker 1: you get your own buddy. It's like, dude, it's yeah,

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Speaker 1: we don't should respond. Maybe you should just get a

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Speaker 1: friend I don't know.

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Speaker 3: Of any gender, get two hobby horse friends. I doubt

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Speaker 3: he would like that Opie says he swore up and

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Speaker 3: down to me that he is not cheating since it

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Speaker 3: destroyed his family and he wouldn't do it to someone else.

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Speaker 3: He says he's just happy to have a friend who

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Speaker 3: shares a hobby with him and is easy to get

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Speaker 3: along with. He admitted he wouldn't like it if I

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Speaker 3: spent hours with another man every day, but he still

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Speaker 3: does it with her. Commenter for says, well, he could

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Speaker 3: share that hobby with you, but by now he is

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Speaker 3: more advanced, so again, you are not worth it for

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Speaker 3: him to help you level up, and you told him

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Speaker 3: you don't like it, and your opinion doesn't matter because

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Speaker 3: he still chooses himself and her over himself and you.

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Speaker 3: If a friend came to you with this story, what

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Speaker 3: would you say to her?

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Speaker 1: I know what I would say to her. I'd say,

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Speaker 1: what freaking hobby are you talking about? Because that honestly

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Speaker 1: makes a world of difference.

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Speaker 3: Does me?

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Speaker 4: Though?

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Speaker 3: Like, is it something that's out in public? Is it

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Speaker 3: something that's done with a bigger group of people?

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Speaker 1: I could literally I have my own like experience with this,

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Speaker 1: and it was with pickleball, like I used to hate,

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Speaker 1: and I know you hate pickleball, But it's like it's

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Speaker 1: just in the context of like skill levels. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: like if you are more advanced at something like that's

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Speaker 1: like a sport like that or one on one thing,

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Speaker 1: it is extremely boring or frustrating to play with someone

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Speaker 1: way under your skill level. But there's no point.

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Speaker 3: Yes, but she got him into this sport, and I

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Speaker 3: do think there's a totally fair place to be, like,

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Speaker 3: still practice with your friends, still have your good level

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Speaker 3: at this and everything. Can you do it with me

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Speaker 3: so that I can advance to your level? Show teach me,

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Speaker 3: show me, help me kind of thing.

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Speaker 1: And it's like me personally hate teaching. I'm terrible at it,

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Speaker 1: so I'd be really bad at that. But it's like

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Speaker 1: all of that is to say, it is almost impossible

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Speaker 1: for us to give any sort of like realistically nuanced

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Speaker 1: opinion on this because we don't know what the hell

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Speaker 1: you're talking about.

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Speaker 3: You have to take care of yourself, your own self worth,

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Speaker 3: and your own boundary. His words mean nothing if he

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Speaker 3: isn't taking your feelings into consideration and still goes and

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Speaker 3: spends more time with her. Opie says he said he

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Speaker 3: doesn't want to feel restrained needing to adapt to my

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Speaker 3: level and wants to challenge himself. When I asked if

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Speaker 3: she challenges him, the answer was, yeah, well actually no

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Speaker 3: in some parts. Why does it matter anyway? All right, buddy,

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Speaker 3: it's the second that you say, hey, this thing bothers me.

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Speaker 3: Can we talk about it? Can we spend more time together?

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Speaker 3: And he's just immediately like, well no, actually I like

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Speaker 3: the situation, And you're like, but I really don't. Can

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Speaker 3: we just talk about it? And he's like nah.

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Speaker 1: But again it's like if the situation is like I

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Speaker 1: it just it really, yeah.

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Speaker 3: I should still be excited about basketball.

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Speaker 1: Is to pick up basketball. Playing against somebody and pick

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Speaker 1: up basketball and they are no challenge to you is

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Speaker 1: boring and not fun.

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Speaker 3: That's fine. I don't even think that she's at this

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Speaker 3: point asking for time together doing just this hobby. She's like,

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Speaker 3: can we spend time together? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Well, then it sounds like it's like, also, like you

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Speaker 1: need to spend less time playing with this person. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: The more I read the comments here, the more I

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Speaker 3: feel nai even stupid. Commoner five says, so you have

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Speaker 3: a hobby that you two could do together, but instead

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Speaker 3: he does it with another woman. That's so disrespectful. It's

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Speaker 3: a hobby. He could wait until you're available. He just

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Speaker 3: wants to spend time with the other woman. You should

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Speaker 3: move on and find someone who wants to spend time

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Speaker 3: with you. We have very different schedules, and they sink

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Speaker 3: maybe once a week and every other weekend where we

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Speaker 3: can do more than a morning cuddle and a bit

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Speaker 3: of time before going to sleep. I can understand him

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Speaker 3: doing the hobby in his off hours while I'm working,

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Speaker 3: but I resent it when we could do it together

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Speaker 3: or spend more time as a couple and he schedules.

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Speaker 1: It with her. Yeah, that is pretty messed up.

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Speaker 3: Or they spend hours on the hobby then meet other

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Speaker 3: friends together and still go for drinks just the two.

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Speaker 1: Away, are you?

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Speaker 3: I would love to have that level of engagement from him,

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Speaker 3: but I don't. We have an update December twenty, twenty

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Speaker 3: twenty five, nearly thirteen months later.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, honestly, like the very end there, Like definitely

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Speaker 1: see so it's like he's going out with his whole

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Speaker 1: group of friends and you're not like invited or you're

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Speaker 1: not going along, Like what's that about?

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Speaker 3: So they are meeting up with the group at some

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Speaker 3: point and then going off alone again uncomfortable as.

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Speaker 1: Heck, I take back everything I said about this guy

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Speaker 1: in any positive way, whatsoever? I think now at this

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Speaker 1: point is that happening because, like you said, your schedules

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Speaker 1: aren't syncd up and you're like working or something. Because

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Speaker 1: if that's the case, then.

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Speaker 3: She said, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I can't really hold that against him.

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Speaker 3: She said that he still chooses that even when it's

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Speaker 3: time that could be spent with her.

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Speaker 1: If you could be at any of those places and

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Speaker 1: he's actively being like, no, what are we doing?

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Speaker 4: About?

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Speaker 3: A year ago, I posted about my relationship situation where

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Speaker 3: my partner got increasingly self centered with minimal to no

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Speaker 3: interest in me. I stopped investing effort that wasn't matched

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Speaker 3: as someone's adjusted and started demanding more support and accountability.

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Speaker 3: It got worse. He resented me for not being constantly available,

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Speaker 3: started being mean and disrespectful, overtly prioritizing his friends, especially

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Speaker 3: female ones, over me, blaming me for everything that was wrong,

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Speaker 3: telling me I'm too hard on him because he forgets

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Speaker 3: and that's not something to hold against him. He started

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Speaker 3: raising his voice at me, telling me I should just

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Speaker 3: accept whatever he does a few months ago, I went

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Speaker 3: on a really intense business trip for a couple of weeks.

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Speaker 3: Before that, he made sure he was busy and we

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Speaker 3: couldn't spend any real time together. He said my leaving

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Speaker 3: was not a big deal. As soon as I left,

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Speaker 3: he started spending time with his friends, especially one female.

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Speaker 3: He took time for a weekend trip days before his

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Speaker 3: biggest project of the year was due and told me

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Speaker 3: he did it because he wanted to. It finally hit

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Speaker 3: home that he wanted a maid, not someone to partner

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Speaker 3: with and appreciate. I confronted him about it, and he

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Speaker 3: broke up with me over the phone, saying he's bored

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Speaker 3: being with me and my happy place. No t drama

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Speaker 3: makes him profoundly miserable. It hurt, but I was done anyway.

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Speaker 3: My besties toasted to the breakup with champagne behind my back.

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Speaker 3: God bless them. Turns out they couldn't stand him and

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Speaker 3: how he treated me, but respected me enough to stay

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Speaker 3: silent and just support me. I love them dearly. When

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Speaker 3: he tried to back pedal, I didn't have it. He

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Speaker 3: tried dating one of the girls he was spending time

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Speaker 3: with before we broke up, shocker, shocking. It didn't go well,

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Speaker 3: just as I predicted. Now he's circling back to me,

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Speaker 3: saying we just had a crisis in communication and that

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Speaker 3: he learned from his mistakes. He wants to do over,

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Speaker 3: and I am not having it. Turns out my life

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Speaker 3: is calmer, more RESTful, and steady without him in it. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you know, op, My only issue is that you haven't

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Speaker 3: told us the hobbies.

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Speaker 1: You still haven't told us the hobby, and for that

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Speaker 1: I will not forgive you.

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Speaker 3: Now he's trying to restart contact and pushing all the

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Speaker 3: buttons he knows used to work. He doesn't realize that

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Speaker 3: while he spent the last months working on his next conquest,

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Speaker 3: I spent them working on me, and those tricks don't

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Speaker 3: work anymore. We have some comments. Comment one, he mistook

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Speaker 3: your piece, and he mistook your piece for emptiness and

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00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:14,880
Speaker 3: his noise for value. The trash took itself out you upgraded.

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00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:18,600
Speaker 3: His do over is just a request to downgrade you again.

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00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:23,480
Speaker 3: Stay free, Obi says, that's the plan. Thanks, downvoted commenter.

336
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:27,400
Speaker 3: So he ended up dumping you, That's just sad, Obi says.

337
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:29,080
Speaker 3: When I showed him, I knew what he was doing

338
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:32,320
Speaker 3: I told him it either changes or I'm out. He apologized,

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00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,880
Speaker 3: said we'd fixed it when i'd be back home, and

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00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,880
Speaker 3: then he broke up with me the next day. I

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00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,840
Speaker 3: think part of it was an effort to keep control.

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Speaker 3: I'm okay with that. I have final control of my

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Speaker 3: life and I am enjoying my drama free status. Commenter two.

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Speaker 3: He sounds like an adrenaline junkie who thrives on chaos.

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Speaker 3: You are you are well rid of him, Obi says, Yep.

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Speaker 3: He told me he was bored out of his skull

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Speaker 3: with me and just wished I would yell at him sometimes.

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00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,440
Speaker 3: I know he'd like it because it would have given

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00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:02,920
Speaker 3: him an excuse to yell back. It took a while

350
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:05,280
Speaker 3: to realize that a lot of stupid disagreements we had

351
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,960
Speaker 3: were just him goading me into an argument so that

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Speaker 3: he could let loose and enjoy the chaos he was controlling.

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Speaker 3: That era of my life is now over. Yeah, that's

354
00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:20,199
Speaker 3: always a freaky thing. People who just like love to

355
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Speaker 3: argue you, so they push you to the brink of arguing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, this guy clearly sounds like

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Speaker 1: the guy who you know if there's not some sort

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Speaker 1: of problem or some sort of drama. Then it means

359
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:38,640
Speaker 1: that like it's boring or it's no, you're not passionate enough.

360
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Speaker 1: There's not you know. It's like and it's the same

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Speaker 1: thing on like you know, the other side. I feel

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Speaker 1: like it's like the other side of the coin of

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Speaker 1: like because this one it's like this guy was clearly

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00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,960
Speaker 1: trying to like create drama, but it's like the other

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00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,159
Speaker 1: side of that coin, I feel like is feeling the

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Speaker 1: need to constantly overanalyze and work through like every thought

367
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Speaker 1: or potential, like feeling that you have in our relationship,

368
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,959
Speaker 1: like because it's like, oh yeah, we just make sure

369
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,080
Speaker 1: that's like super healthy, like super clear or like whatever,

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00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:10,240
Speaker 1: and it's like, no, actually, you can just like vibe sometimes,

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Speaker 1: you know, Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Glad you got out of there. That seemed like it

373
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Speaker 3: was no bueno. And that's the end of this story.

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Speaker 3: We're going to go to the next one.

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Speaker 1: My boyfriend told me to quit my dream career, so

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Speaker 1: I secretly planned my escape.

377
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Speaker 3: Good quit him.

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00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:28,439
Speaker 1: Anytime you have to use the word escape in the

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Speaker 1: context of a relationship with somebody, it's not a good sign. No,

380
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Speaker 1: So I twenty six female, I'm dating my boyfriend twenty

381
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Speaker 1: seven male for four years now. During our relationship, we've

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00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:41,520
Speaker 1: made significant changes in our careers. We've met at minimum

383
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:44,040
Speaker 1: wage jobs and after that he had opened his own business,

384
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:47,280
Speaker 1: a renovation company, which I helped him out a lot with.

385
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:50,920
Speaker 1: I wrote an EU funding application which he got. And

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Speaker 1: by the way, this comes from user existing bag eight

387
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:55,199
Speaker 1: six five seven And if you want to submit your

388
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,520
Speaker 1: own stories, go to the art slash showcase storytime subbured it.

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Speaker 1: I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, and we're here to give a

390
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:01,560
Speaker 1: good our googly. But we don't have all the answers.

391
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,280
Speaker 1: We only know what we know, So if you know

392
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,439
Speaker 1: more stuff that we don't know, let us know in

393
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:09,080
Speaker 1: the comments and op says. In the meantime, I got

394
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Speaker 1: a job at a corporate institution and got quickly promoted

395
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:15,480
Speaker 1: as the person managing about thirty people. After two years,

396
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:19,000
Speaker 1: I experienced awfulness treatment, resulting in a lawsuit and paid

397
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:22,760
Speaker 1: medical leave of six months nice at the end of it.

398
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:25,280
Speaker 1: While searching for a job opportunity, I came by air

399
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Speaker 1: traffic controller recruitment. I started to read about it and

400
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:30,760
Speaker 1: I learned that ATC earned about three times the media

401
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,040
Speaker 1: in payroll and have up to forty plus days of

402
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,840
Speaker 1: paid vacation time every year. I checked what it takes

403
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:37,600
Speaker 1: to become one and was relieved that you don't have

404
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Speaker 1: to have any qualifications.

405
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:40,480
Speaker 4: We're believed about that.

406
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,160
Speaker 1: You just have to be at the top two percent

407
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:48,720
Speaker 1: of society in terms of spatial intelligence, multitasking, decision making

408
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:53,080
Speaker 1: and B two English skills. So actually there's plenty of requirements.

409
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:56,560
Speaker 3: I'm to make myself feel better, there's a lot of requirement.

410
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, to be clear, you have to be the top

411
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:03,760
Speaker 1: two percent in multi categories. Those are requirements. I thought

412
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:05,880
Speaker 1: I was always good at these things. So I applied

413
00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:09,159
Speaker 1: and got an invitation for six step recruitment. Every year

414
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,399
Speaker 1: there are tens of thousands of people who apply, and

415
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Speaker 1: literally less than ten people get into the study program. Now,

416
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:18,400
Speaker 1: after two years, maybe two to four of them get licensed.

417
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Speaker 3: Wow.

418
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:21,840
Speaker 1: First I got to do the online test. Then I

419
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:25,360
Speaker 1: went to the institution to do FEAST one and two

420
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:29,080
Speaker 1: tests that's probably a fun acronym, and some more tests,

421
00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:32,560
Speaker 1: an assessment center, and finally a recruitment interview in English.

422
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:36,240
Speaker 1: I was finally informed I got into the program. It

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00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:38,479
Speaker 1: doesn't mean I got the job. I had to complete

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00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:42,439
Speaker 1: very stressful and demanding courses with many tests, which failing

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Speaker 1: them would mean I am let go. It put a

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00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,000
Speaker 1: strain on my relationship as we were living together and

427
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:50,280
Speaker 1: I had to abruptly leave to study at the center.

428
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Speaker 1: For approximately a year and a half, I spend every

429
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Speaker 1: week commuting to my boyfriend who stayed at my house,

430
00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,800
Speaker 1: literally studying every living second except when I'm with him.

431
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:05,000
Speaker 1: We've been discussing immigrating to Scandinavian countries, as he would

432
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,920
Speaker 1: make significantly more money there, but I didn't want to

433
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:11,680
Speaker 1: go to another country without any qualifications. With an ATC license,

434
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:14,040
Speaker 1: I would be making one hundred and twenty thousand a

435
00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:18,719
Speaker 1: year almost anywhere. The thing is, he met someone, a

436
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:22,159
Speaker 1: business partner, that gave him a good opportunity to leave now,

437
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:25,000
Speaker 1: and he wants me to leave with him. I've got

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00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:27,320
Speaker 1: less than a couple months to end my course. I

439
00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:29,720
Speaker 1: told him I'm staying to finish, but he insists we

440
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:31,960
Speaker 1: have to go now because he will make good money

441
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,480
Speaker 1: for sure, but I have little to no chance to

442
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:36,200
Speaker 1: finish my course with the license.

443
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:39,920
Speaker 3: Okay, sounds like y'all are long distance for a couple months, then.

444
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, you guys already did long diest for a year

445
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,320
Speaker 1: and a half. It does sound weird, sounds like he

446
00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:46,439
Speaker 1: doesn't want you to have a good job, yeah, so

447
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:48,359
Speaker 1: that he can have all of the you know, the

448
00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:49,359
Speaker 1: weight to throw around.

449
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,840
Speaker 3: I'm sure it's more than that too. I'm sure there

450
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:53,359
Speaker 3: was a level of like, well, we should just do

451
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,120
Speaker 3: long distance again, and he was like, nah.

452
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:58,680
Speaker 1: It really hurt my feelings because I never doubted myself

453
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,639
Speaker 1: and I believe I'm fantastic stick at this job. I

454
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:05,040
Speaker 1: told him absolutely not, but he reiterated what I said

455
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,040
Speaker 1: when we met, that I would be okay being a

456
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:10,720
Speaker 1: stay at home mom exactly. It bu boo, somebody give

457
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:14,399
Speaker 1: me the medal for predictive ability. I guess I was

458
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,760
Speaker 1: and still am okay with that. I really love him

459
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:19,680
Speaker 1: and we're a really good couple together, and I don't

460
00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:21,399
Speaker 1: want to lose him. If I choose to stay in

461
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:24,280
Speaker 1: the program, we would be long distance almost half of

462
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:27,040
Speaker 1: a year. I know he would make arrangements for me

463
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:29,520
Speaker 1: to be safe financially if I relied on him. He

464
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,639
Speaker 1: always showed green flags in that matter. I feel as

465
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 1: if I would be the a hole if I would

466
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:37,000
Speaker 1: wait to finish my course, even if I have little

467
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 1: chance to do it successfully. Comment Yeah, not the a hole.

468
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:42,440
Speaker 4: No, not at all.

469
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:43,240
Speaker 3: Finish your course.

470
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 1: Finish the course. Your first responsibility is to you. You

471
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:50,439
Speaker 1: have studied really hard. You are nearly there. Get the qualifications,

472
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:53,679
Speaker 1: get some time and experience doing the role and building

473
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,640
Speaker 1: your own savings. What if his business doesn't work out?

474
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:58,840
Speaker 1: What if he has a nasty accident and suddenly you're

475
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:00,920
Speaker 1: the bread winner. What if if you both outgrow each

476
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:04,240
Speaker 1: other and decide to go separate ways, future proof yourself,

477
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:10,440
Speaker 1: get the qualification. You are nearly there, yeah, reply says Op.

478
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 1: He is talking about her boyfriend's showing green flags while

479
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:16,000
Speaker 1: ignoring the major red ones he's showing right now. He's

480
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,600
Speaker 1: trying to sabotage your success, one by trying to make

481
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,280
Speaker 1: her leave before she finishes, and two trying to make

482
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:24,040
Speaker 1: her doubt herself and her abilities. His red flags far

483
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:27,400
Speaker 1: outweigh any green flags he's previously shown. Yeah, it is true,

484
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 1: because it's like it's hyper competitive. You've got in it,

485
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,000
Speaker 1: you've been doing it for a year and a half.

486
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:34,040
Speaker 1: You are at the finish line, and he's trying to

487
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:36,520
Speaker 1: be like, Nah, don't finish it. It's okay. I've got

488
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,399
Speaker 1: a great business opportunity, so you'll never have to make

489
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 1: money ever again.

490
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:43,840
Speaker 3: Right months after like months away from finish line is insane.

491
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 1: Yep Op, you got into a program that so few

492
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,480
Speaker 1: get into due to how good you are. Don't start

493
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:53,680
Speaker 1: doubting yourself now. Ignore the ahole naysayer aka your boyfriend.

494
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:57,640
Speaker 1: You've come this far. You can definitely successfully finish the program.

495
00:23:58,040 --> 00:23:59,920
Speaker 1: You would be the ale to yourself if you listen

496
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:03,200
Speaker 1: to him, your future self would be so mad at you. Also,

497
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:05,480
Speaker 1: your boyfriend doesn't sound like a safe person to be

498
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:09,200
Speaker 1: financially dependent on, especially far away from home and away

499
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,840
Speaker 1: from the support system that you've built. I'd advise ending

500
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:14,920
Speaker 1: this relationship, but if you choose to stay with him,

501
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:18,080
Speaker 1: then finish your training and don't ever be his stay

502
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:20,879
Speaker 1: at home partner. Wow. I never expected this post to

503
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,160
Speaker 1: blow up like it did. For now, I'm reading comments

504
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:26,560
Speaker 1: and one thing is clear. I am finishing the course. Tomorrow,

505
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,280
Speaker 1: I'll see him again and we'll talk about any solutions

506
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:32,040
Speaker 1: for this time apart. Many of you suggested that his

507
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,439
Speaker 1: new business partner is a scam, but it's not. My

508
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:37,359
Speaker 1: boyfriend has been his contractor for months now. They are

509
00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:40,439
Speaker 1: building industrial level metal constructions for farming. The thing is

510
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:42,679
Speaker 1: new regulations are due to happen in EU countries in

511
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,040
Speaker 1: twenty twenty six, which means a lot of changes that

512
00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:48,080
Speaker 1: only so many people can do. Prices for this specialized

513
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:51,359
Speaker 1: labor are absolutely insane. Now, his business partner is in

514
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,160
Speaker 1: his late sixties, so he's willing to give up big

515
00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:55,320
Speaker 1: clients as he won't leave the country now. There are

516
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,880
Speaker 1: hundreds of thousands of dollars to be made. My boyfriend

517
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:00,760
Speaker 1: is employing five people who are willing to go right now. Also,

518
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 1: many of you suggested that my boyfriend has bad intentions

519
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:05,840
Speaker 1: towards me and is unsupportive. I don't think that's the case.

520
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,960
Speaker 1: I just think he believes it would be better for

521
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 1: us now. But I cannot ignore this issue when so

522
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 1: many of you see it this way. I won't assume

523
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,600
Speaker 1: his intentions during our talk, and I'll try to see

524
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 1: what his reactions are really showing and we have an update. Oh,

525
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 1: I think he wants you to be the stay at

526
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:24,119
Speaker 1: home mom and not be able to do this job.

527
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:27,920
Speaker 1: Maybe not because he's like evil, but because he's just like, well, no,

528
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,359
Speaker 1: you have to be the stay at home mom. I

529
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 1: have to be the one who makes up the money. Update.

530
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,160
Speaker 1: So much has happened that I didn't have much time

531
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,359
Speaker 1: to update on time. As I came home, I was

532
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,040
Speaker 1: met with usual behavior from his side. We talked a

533
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:43,439
Speaker 1: lot about our options, but one thing changed. I started

534
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:46,360
Speaker 1: to record our talks. Then I transcribed them and put

535
00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:50,240
Speaker 1: them into Chatgypt. I know it's probably very childlike and stupid,

536
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 1: but somehow it opened my eyes.

537
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,680
Speaker 3: Bad bad, but it's not your therapist.

538
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 1: Bad. It took Chatgypt to open your eyes.

539
00:25:56,600 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 3: Don't use chat gibt as anything. Don't use it.

540
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:02,840
Speaker 1: The chat was sure it was a harmful relationship.

541
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:06,560
Speaker 3: Did we break up with this man because chat GBT

542
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 3: told us you had advice from how many people on

543
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 3: the internet before chat GBT and it took a fake

544
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:18,880
Speaker 3: AI thing? Maybe wow Wow.

545
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 1: CHATGBT wrong sixty percent of the time, by the way,

546
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 1: just wanted to put that out there. Anyways, it highlighted

547
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:25,320
Speaker 1: a lot of things I didn't seem to fathom on

548
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 1: my own in the upcoming days. As Christmas came, I

549
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:29,479
Speaker 1: didn't say much and let him talk as much as

550
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:33,000
Speaker 1: he wanted. He portrayed every single manipulation tactic there is

551
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 1: and I got scared. To be honest, I understood there

552
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,640
Speaker 1: is no us anymore. I tried to talk to him once,

553
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,359
Speaker 1: but I realized he's not able to understand anything, so

554
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:44,240
Speaker 1: leaving is the only option. As I decided to leave,

555
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:46,119
Speaker 1: I still put up with this crap as I planned

556
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:49,920
Speaker 1: my escape. He really really hurt me in this time,

557
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:53,280
Speaker 1: doing something he knew would f me up. Not cheating,

558
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:57,800
Speaker 1: just emotional mistreatment. Tomorrow we will split to meet our

559
00:26:57,840 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 1: families on our own, and I will tell my family

560
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:02,679
Speaker 1: were breaking up and why they will support me. I

561
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 1: plan on packing his things with their help and moving

562
00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:08,560
Speaker 1: him out while he's out. As he lives at my place,

563
00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 1: he has a place to go. I don't plan to

564
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:14,000
Speaker 1: talk to him at any point moving forward. My family

565
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,639
Speaker 1: will be responsible for that. I don't have anything to

566
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:18,800
Speaker 1: say to him now. It hurts, but I'm one hundred

567
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,240
Speaker 1: percent set on leaving. I'm glad you broke up.

568
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 3: Sounds like things escalated though, and you got out of there.

569
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:28,200
Speaker 1: You're going to have a successful career. Your boyfriend probably

570
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:30,679
Speaker 1: what Even though you shouldn't be listening to Chad Gpt,

571
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,280
Speaker 1: your boyfriend did sound like he was showing way more

572
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:34,600
Speaker 1: red flags than green flags.

573
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:37,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's not relationship and the chat GPT.

574
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:41,720
Speaker 1: Ever again, truly can't can't imagine not supporting my partner

575
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:45,520
Speaker 1: doing something so elite, you know what I mean. But

576
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,639
Speaker 1: let's let's finish this story. It will cost me a

577
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:51,080
Speaker 1: lot of money, but my family will help. The point

578
00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:53,560
Speaker 1: is to make me free as soon as possible. And

579
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:55,680
Speaker 1: there's a quick edit. I searched his phone and found

580
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 1: out about a lot of his lies. Currently, it's three

581
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:01,199
Speaker 1: am and I'm waiting for or a taxi to my parents.

582
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:04,439
Speaker 1: He's asleep. I will come back tomorrow with bodyguards to

583
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:05,000
Speaker 1: pack him.

584
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 3: God. Okay, okay, extras, more.

585
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:14,240
Speaker 1: Lies, more lies, lies, deceptions, more lies. You got to

586
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,080
Speaker 1: comment here to finish it off. I don't know what

587
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:19,320
Speaker 1: exactly your boyfriend told you, but please don't believe that

588
00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:23,159
Speaker 1: what chat GPT says is the truth. CHATGPT is just

589
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:27,400
Speaker 1: a program that, using information from the Internet, produces text. If,

590
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 1: for example, enough people said that a woman saying she

591
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:31,720
Speaker 1: has a right to dress however she wants is toxic,

592
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 1: chat GPT would tell you it's toxic unless you say

593
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 1: you disagree. It's a robot designed to please the user.

594
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:42,760
Speaker 1: Try it. It will probably backpedal. Stay safe, but please

595
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 1: use your own judgment. It's a very flawed tool in

596
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 1: people really don't know how to use it because we

597
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 1: haven't been taught, and we should have. I learned this

598
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,240
Speaker 1: in a course and was horrified when I realized it's

599
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 1: just a text predictor. Yeah, it's not santient folks. Literally

600
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:01,240
Speaker 1: hugs and best of luck, and that the end of

601
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:01,800
Speaker 1: that story.

602
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:03,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I good job.

603
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:05,680
Speaker 1: Even though you shouldn't be using CHATGBT as a metric

604
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 1: for your relationships, I do think that it was probably

605
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:09,160
Speaker 1: for the best for you to break up if he's

606
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 1: not gonna support you, just spending a couple more months

607
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 1: to find out if maybe you can have that career.

608
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:18,160
Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

609
00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:19,600
Speaker 1: on to the next one.

610
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 4: My boyfriend became the provider and forgot everything I did

611
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 4: for him. Provider I hardly know her. My boyfriend of

612
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,080
Speaker 4: two and a half years and I moved in together

613
00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:31,400
Speaker 4: in July because he was starting a new job at

614
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 4: a new city. I had left my old job and

615
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:38,040
Speaker 4: had another lined up. Unfortunately, I had unexpectedly got laid

616
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:40,600
Speaker 4: off before I could even start the new job due

617
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:43,000
Speaker 4: to their budget issues. By the way, this comes from

618
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:45,600
Speaker 4: Impressive Match ninety eight eighty two, and if you want

619
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,320
Speaker 4: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

620
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 4: Okay storytime subured it. I'm Sophia, and I'm.

621
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 2: Savannah and I'm Keon, and we're here to give good advice.

622
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:55,480
Speaker 4: Goofully, But we don't have all the answers. We only

623
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 4: know what we do, so let us note you do

624
00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 4: in the comments and op sas. I have been unemployed

625
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:05,360
Speaker 4: since August and my mental health has taken a huge hit.

626
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 4: I've been trying every job board and connection I can

627
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,120
Speaker 4: think of, but nowhere in my field seems to be

628
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:14,880
Speaker 4: hiring right now. My boyfriend luckily has a good job

629
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:17,160
Speaker 4: and has been able to provide for us, with me

630
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:20,440
Speaker 4: covering some bills with my savings. The issue is that

631
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 4: this past Saturday night he got really wasted at a

632
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:27,640
Speaker 4: Christmas party and started screaming to me in public that

633
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 4: he no longer has compassion for me because he thinks

634
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:32,000
Speaker 4: I do not think you want to do nothing for

635
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 4: the rest of my life. Immediately now, immediately, giant red flag.

636
00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 4: He's screaming at you in public. Moon him. That'll shut

637
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 4: him up. That'll shut him up. It probably would. He

638
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:46,240
Speaker 4: thinks he's better than me now because he has a

639
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 4: good job and a better degree than me, That maybe

640
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 4: my potential job just didn't want me instead of it

641
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:55,200
Speaker 4: being a budget issue, and that apparently my family all

642
00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 4: can't stand me either. Wow. This guy sucks.

643
00:30:57,560 --> 00:30:57,880
Speaker 2: Wow.

644
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 4: I am so hurt because he insulted me, made up

645
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:03,960
Speaker 4: lies to hurt me, and I think he's letting being

646
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:07,240
Speaker 4: the provider get to his head. Prior to his job,

647
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 4: I was the breadwinner and was the one who kept

648
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 4: him from dropping out of school and encouraged him to

649
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:13,600
Speaker 4: pursue the good job.

650
00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 1: Yes.

651
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,840
Speaker 4: Now, I've been supporting him through his depression for our

652
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:20,640
Speaker 4: entire relationship, and the one time I need his support,

653
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:23,560
Speaker 4: he can't even handle it. For five months, I don't

654
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 4: know how I can trust him going forward when he

655
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 4: turns on me at my most vulnerable moment. I admit

656
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 4: I've had a short temper and have been overall extra

657
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 4: emotional because of the rejection and uncertainty about my career.

658
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:38,080
Speaker 4: But I've also been trying my hardest to find a

659
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:41,280
Speaker 4: job and take care of our new home together. I

660
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:43,600
Speaker 4: pretty much saved him from giving up on everything, but

661
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:46,560
Speaker 4: now that he's successful, he looks down on me during

662
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:49,320
Speaker 4: one of my hardest times, and of course he had

663
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:51,960
Speaker 4: to do it days before Christmas and by making a

664
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:55,000
Speaker 4: scene in public. So is this worth leaving him over?

665
00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:58,400
Speaker 4: And there are some comments but what do you think? Yeah,

666
00:31:58,480 --> 00:31:59,840
Speaker 4: I think this guy's the worst.

667
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean he can't even support You've supported him

668
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 2: for what how many years did they say? I don't know,

669
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:08,960
Speaker 2: A while, yeah, long time, Yeah, the whole relationship. Yeah,

670
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 2: which it doesn't even matter how long the relationship is.

671
00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just.

672
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:16,000
Speaker 2: Like you have always been there for him and the

673
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:17,600
Speaker 2: one time you need him now.

674
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 4: He's like, eh. I think if he doesn't, I think

675
00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 4: you could have a conversation about this. But I think

676
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:25,360
Speaker 4: him having, you know, getting angry at you in public

677
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 4: and just insulting you is is a huge, huge dread

678
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:32,320
Speaker 4: flag and I would be I would be considering leaving.

679
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:35,360
Speaker 2: And in public, yeah, and doing it like privately, like okay,

680
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:37,840
Speaker 2: I understand, and well I don't understand, but still like

681
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 2: doing it privately, Yeah, privately is better than making it

682
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:44,440
Speaker 2: a whole thing and then people are like looking like,

683
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 2: oh god, it's just it's it's humiliating yeah, like, that's

684
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:49,640
Speaker 2: not fun for literally anyone.

685
00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 4: No common one says, all right, here's what you'd do.

686
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,480
Speaker 4: Print out all the invoices, all your bills you covered

687
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:58,600
Speaker 4: for him as well, all out in the open and

688
00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:01,480
Speaker 4: lay it on the table. And when you demand fifty

689
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:05,240
Speaker 4: percent of all you paid for back, tell him point blank.

690
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:08,080
Speaker 4: If that's your attitude, this is mine. I expect this

691
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 4: all back and then you can go. And you know,

692
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:14,880
Speaker 4: f yourself. I am so sorry, opie. Men, a very

693
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:19,240
Speaker 4: specific type of men are like this. They exploit you

694
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 4: and see this as absolutely okay as long as they benefit.

695
00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:26,240
Speaker 4: This second they assume they no longer benefit more from

696
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:29,560
Speaker 4: a relationship than they have to provide, they completely lose

697
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:32,560
Speaker 4: their crap. This is about being a garbage human, not

698
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:35,720
Speaker 4: a partner. The yelling in public is your warning signal

699
00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:38,959
Speaker 4: that this man will escalate. Get out as soon as

700
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:42,080
Speaker 4: you can. And we've got a second comment. You can

701
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 4: leave a relationship at any time for any reason, especially

702
00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:48,040
Speaker 4: when your partner is an a hole. Comment three says

703
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:51,720
Speaker 4: he's letting his masks slip and showing you exactly who

704
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:55,120
Speaker 4: he is when he feels he has control. This isn't

705
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:58,080
Speaker 4: loving if he's willing to disrespect you in front of others.

706
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:02,280
Speaker 4: He will escalate alone. You will struggle with confidence if

707
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:04,880
Speaker 4: you let him disrespect you like this. Now that you

708
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:07,480
Speaker 4: are seeing his true colors, you need to decide if

709
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 4: this is who you want to live with, if this

710
00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:12,880
Speaker 4: is the behavior you're willing to tolerate. Love doesn't go

711
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:15,560
Speaker 4: away when things aren't going as planned. You don't need

712
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 4: to prove your value to him. You need to value

713
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:21,400
Speaker 4: yourself and hope you reply, thank you for your comment.

714
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:24,960
Speaker 4: This is heartbreaking because he's been very patient and understanding

715
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:28,320
Speaker 4: up until this point. It hurts that suddenly doesn't recognize

716
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:31,560
Speaker 4: the effort I've put into changing my situation and all

717
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:35,520
Speaker 4: that I've been through. Common Force says Ugh, I'm sorry.

718
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:39,600
Speaker 4: He does not respect you. He used you. He's using

719
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:42,480
Speaker 4: the job and money things as an excuse to express

720
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:45,120
Speaker 4: that now that he doesn't need you like he did before,

721
00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 4: the mask is slipping off. He probably feels like he's

722
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,600
Speaker 4: ready to level up, and he's framing it like you're

723
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:53,840
Speaker 4: using him to get out without hurting his ego projection.

724
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:56,400
Speaker 4: He may not even be aware of some of these feelings,

725
00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:59,920
Speaker 4: but there's a double standard here and trying to reason

726
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:02,840
Speaker 4: with him will like the result in you getting insulted more.

727
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, but this is the start of an emotionally

728
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:09,640
Speaker 4: harmful relationship screaming insults at you in public. Leaving him

729
00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:12,600
Speaker 4: will hurt, but it will hurt less now than in

730
00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:15,880
Speaker 4: a year. Stop using your savings on shared expenses and

731
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:19,040
Speaker 4: let him pay, get that job, and get out. Comment

732
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:22,320
Speaker 4: five says, my god, just leave. This guy will always

733
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:24,759
Speaker 4: keep Itally, I haven't worked for five years due to

734
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 4: mental health, and my husband not once ever made me

735
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:30,959
Speaker 4: feel lesser because of it, and even discouraged me going

736
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:33,400
Speaker 4: back once I thought I was ready because he wanted

737
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:36,840
Speaker 4: me and my therapist both to feel on the same page.

738
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:40,319
Speaker 4: Not discouraged in the simple sense, but uh, are you

739
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:42,359
Speaker 4: really short? And did you talk to so and so

740
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 4: about it? And what did they think? Your boyfriend will

741
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:46,400
Speaker 4: always be keeping score?

742
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:49,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, it just seems like this guy's not gonna get

743
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:50,799
Speaker 2: any better, and it seems like he got what he

744
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:52,680
Speaker 2: wanted out of the relationship and now he's just like,

745
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:55,000
Speaker 2: m well, you know, I'm gonna talk down to you

746
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:57,440
Speaker 2: and l le make you feel this way, lil, And

747
00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:01,239
Speaker 2: it's like, okay, dude, whatever you're high and mighty cool.

748
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,399
Speaker 4: Then I'm just gonna leave and you can go deal

749
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:05,080
Speaker 4: with all that on your own. Yay.

750
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:07,480
Speaker 2: And when you're sad and alone and need me, I

751
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:10,720
Speaker 2: won't be there anymore. Yay, bye bye.

752
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:15,399
Speaker 4: Exactly just like that. Yeah, exactly like that. Five months

753
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:18,000
Speaker 4: seems like a long time, but when again you put

754
00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:21,880
Speaker 4: it into perspective of you helping him for so long,

755
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:25,279
Speaker 4: then it shows that you know he's not willing to

756
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,880
Speaker 4: be there for you. For everyone focused on the money,

757
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:30,440
Speaker 4: he has no issue paying the rent. He and his

758
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:32,960
Speaker 4: parents paid his bills prior to moving in together, and

759
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 4: I paid my own bills. We agreed on fifty to

760
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:37,920
Speaker 4: fifty when we moved in together and both thought we

761
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:41,319
Speaker 4: had jobs. When I lost my job, he agreed to

762
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:44,280
Speaker 4: cover full rent until I'm working full time again without

763
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:47,880
Speaker 4: expecting repayment. I am still covering our other bills with

764
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:51,279
Speaker 4: my savings and planned to contribute as originally planned when

765
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 4: I'm working. The issue is he's not giving me the

766
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:57,719
Speaker 4: same grace and compassion during my depression and job struggles

767
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:01,080
Speaker 4: that I gave him in the past. And that is

768
00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 4: the end of that story.

769
00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:03,480
Speaker 3: Uh.

770
00:37:03,719 --> 00:37:04,799
Speaker 4: I hope you figure it out.

771
00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:08,440
Speaker 1: Ope, Hey, it's Keon the Silly's Goose.

772
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:10,359
Speaker 5: We're going to get back to the stories, but here's

773
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:12,280
Speaker 5: three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

774
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:16,120
Speaker 2: My girlfriend lied about her location, so I trusted my gut.

775
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:16,960
Speaker 1: Where are you?

776
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:20,160
Speaker 2: The past month has been full of harships in our

777
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 2: relationship as we both were having trust issues and it

778
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:26,480
Speaker 2: was showing we've been on and off mood wise, but

779
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:30,319
Speaker 2: the spicy related chemistry was still there. We were just

780
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:31,360
Speaker 2: emotionally distanced.

781
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:32,160
Speaker 4: By the way.

782
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:35,480
Speaker 2: This comes from Fantastic Toe thirty nine, thirty seven and

783
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

784
00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:38,920
Speaker 2: the r slash Okay story time subrend it.

785
00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:40,839
Speaker 4: I am Savannah.

786
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:42,680
Speaker 2: I'm Sovia, I'm Keon, and we are here to give

787
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:45,200
Speaker 2: some good advice goofly, but we don't have all the answers.

788
00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:47,560
Speaker 2: We would only know what we would do in the situation,

789
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:49,239
Speaker 2: but we would love to know what you would do

790
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:54,400
Speaker 2: in this situation in the comments. As Opie says, last Friday,

791
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:57,239
Speaker 2: after she was with her mom, Actual Proof heard her

792
00:37:57,239 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 2: mom's voice too. She said they went to her mom

793
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:03,400
Speaker 2: his friend's house, very typical after they go out together. Okay,

794
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:05,799
Speaker 2: she was saying, she fell asleep on the couch, not

795
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:08,400
Speaker 2: that suspicious, but I felt like something was off, so

796
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:11,080
Speaker 2: I called her. When I did, she told me to

797
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:14,000
Speaker 2: wait a minute. Now my radar was on because she'd

798
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:16,640
Speaker 2: usually answered for at least a couple of seconds. I

799
00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:20,560
Speaker 2: told her immediately to drop her location, but she would

800
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 2: keep making excuses and not do it. This was around

801
00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:26,120
Speaker 2: eight to nine pm. I kept spamming her with texts

802
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:28,480
Speaker 2: and calls and she would see them but not answer immediately.

803
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 2: I told her to tell me the truth, and she

804
00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:32,839
Speaker 2: was acting like nothing was happening, but it was very

805
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:36,440
Speaker 2: obvious she wasn't sleeping before. We kept texting back and

806
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:38,440
Speaker 2: forth for a while as she was buying time to

807
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:41,560
Speaker 2: not drop me the location until she did around eleven pm.

808
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,920
Speaker 2: It was very obviously not her mom's friend's house. So

809
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:46,360
Speaker 2: I told her to tell me the truth.

810
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 4: Oh she didn't even use that two hours to leave

811
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:49,760
Speaker 4: the location.

812
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 1: Nope.

813
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:52,240
Speaker 4: Crazy.

814
00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:55,279
Speaker 2: She said she went out drinking with friends and that

815
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 2: was it, and she didn't want to tell me because

816
00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:00,239
Speaker 2: I'd get jealous. She told me a version that made

817
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:02,719
Speaker 2: sense about where she was, but not many details on

818
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 2: what she did. She told me that around eight pm

819
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:07,960
Speaker 2: she was at the mall true on the evidence.

820
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:08,520
Speaker 4: She showed.

821
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:10,959
Speaker 2: There was a video of her she sent to her

822
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 2: mom at the mall. Then she and four people, three girls,

823
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:17,239
Speaker 2: one guy who I've seen and well he is not

824
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:20,279
Speaker 2: very attractive, but still eh.

825
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:22,000
Speaker 4: And then so she was at the mall, and then

826
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:24,120
Speaker 4: she was with an ugly guy, so that she's fine

827
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:25,000
Speaker 4: for now.

828
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:28,040
Speaker 2: Went out to get drinks at a restaurant. There are

829
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:31,200
Speaker 2: some stuff that proves this not definitive, but the story

830
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:33,319
Speaker 2: makes a lot of sense with the details she gave.

831
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:35,880
Speaker 2: She says this is why she refused to send me

832
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:38,239
Speaker 2: her location, because it would have been obvious that she

833
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:40,480
Speaker 2: was lying, and she just kept doubling down on being

834
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:43,360
Speaker 2: with her mom until she was out. We called briefly

835
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:45,600
Speaker 2: once she was getting home, and she was rude to

836
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:48,600
Speaker 2: me and very wasted. While I was still asking her

837
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:51,160
Speaker 2: why the f she was lying to me about that.

838
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:53,640
Speaker 2: She'd go out with her friends before and tell me

839
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:55,400
Speaker 2: and well, I would get a bit moody, but not

840
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:56,919
Speaker 2: completely paranoid like this time.

841
00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:02,480
Speaker 4: Okay, Well that's that is something to note. You're getting

842
00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 4: moody whenever she goes out with her friends. That is

843
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:09,040
Speaker 4: not great. She probably is noticing that, and I was like, Okay, well,

844
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:10,480
Speaker 4: I don't want to deal with him being moody.

845
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:12,719
Speaker 5: That could correlate why she's not telling you.

846
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:15,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, not that it's good that she's not telling you,

847
00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:17,319
Speaker 4: or okay that she's not telling you, but it does

848
00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 4: makes more sense in a little mooe moody baby, little

849
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:22,920
Speaker 4: mood baby.

850
00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:26,520
Speaker 2: And she just said she didn't feel like telling me.

851
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:30,279
Speaker 2: She apologized in the morning and says she wouldn't lie

852
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:33,759
Speaker 2: to me anymore. But that really, really, nothing happened. I

853
00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:35,719
Speaker 2: tried to shrug it off for a couple of days,

854
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:38,880
Speaker 2: but honestly I had enough. Today gave her an ultimatum

855
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:41,400
Speaker 2: and she basically said the words to break up with me.

856
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:43,440
Speaker 1: Okay, but I want to know like.

857
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:46,200
Speaker 4: Said the words? She said the words to break up

858
00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:48,600
Speaker 4: with me, unless she said we're breaking up like I

859
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:50,240
Speaker 4: want to break Maybe. Yeah.

860
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:52,400
Speaker 2: Part of me wants her back and regrets giving her

861
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:55,160
Speaker 2: the ultimatum because she might not have done anything bad

862
00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:58,160
Speaker 2: per se, but I can't trust her, and I'm starting

863
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:00,640
Speaker 2: to think she lied to me other times too. I'm

864
00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:03,080
Speaker 2: scared she'll just go and get with this guy or something,

865
00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:04,960
Speaker 2: and I could have avoided that by not breaking up

866
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:06,920
Speaker 2: with her. But also my gut just tells me she

867
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:08,840
Speaker 2: is a liar, and she gave me half the truth.

868
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 2: She never behaved like this before as far as I knew,

869
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:15,200
Speaker 2: always loyal and the perfect girlfriend. I think for most

870
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:17,040
Speaker 2: of you it would be obvious, but part of me

871
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:20,440
Speaker 2: really wants to believe her. I am heartbroken and her

872
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:24,360
Speaker 2: leaving hurts more than her lyne. I personally think she

873
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:27,160
Speaker 2: did something bad, but that she was really at the

874
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:29,799
Speaker 2: mall and then the restaurant. I would like to reconcile

875
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:32,839
Speaker 2: some time if that was the case. However, I think

876
00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:35,400
Speaker 2: us breaking up will lead to her just having spicy

877
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:39,560
Speaker 2: sleep with someone else. Well, if that is what a breakup,

878
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:42,560
Speaker 2: that's what happens on a breakup, they usually start seeing

879
00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:43,120
Speaker 2: other people.

880
00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:46,319
Speaker 4: It wasn't okay that she lied. Yeah, and she might

881
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:50,239
Speaker 4: be cheating, but also op is very controlling and demanding,

882
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:54,480
Speaker 4: it seems, and gave an ultimatum. She took it, and

883
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:56,719
Speaker 4: now they're not together and she's gonna go see other

884
00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:58,399
Speaker 4: people for sure, because that's what you.

885
00:41:58,400 --> 00:41:59,359
Speaker 1: Do when you break up.

886
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think from the way that you acted,

887
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:05,279
Speaker 2: I would have been like, well, yeah, you suck. I

888
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:06,960
Speaker 2: don't know, I told you the truth and you don't

889
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:08,200
Speaker 2: believe it, so I don't know what else to do,

890
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:08,759
Speaker 2: you know.

891
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:10,799
Speaker 5: Yeah, and even if you guys didn't break up, op

892
00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:13,040
Speaker 5: you're gonna keep questioning it and push her to the

893
00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:15,399
Speaker 5: break of like either you break up with her because

894
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:17,200
Speaker 5: you can't trust her anymore, or she breaks up with

895
00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:19,560
Speaker 5: you and look what happened exactly.

896
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:22,280
Speaker 2: I'd like to know your thoughts, to be honest. We're

897
00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 2: in complete no contact at this point in time, and

898
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:27,120
Speaker 2: there are some comments. Comment one says if you get

899
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:29,799
Speaker 2: back together, she'll never respect you again and she'll walk

900
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:33,400
Speaker 2: all over you again. Stay broken, move on whoa common

901
00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:35,879
Speaker 2: two says, she's lying to you. That's enough right there

902
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:37,680
Speaker 2: to end things. The lack of trust would drive you

903
00:42:37,719 --> 00:42:40,480
Speaker 2: crazy in the long term. She is untrustworthy and disrespects

904
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:43,280
Speaker 2: you and the relationship you had together. Get yourself together

905
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:47,520
Speaker 2: and push on, Bud. You deserve better, Opie replies, I

906
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:49,920
Speaker 2: also was thinking about this. I can't be doubting everything

907
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:51,960
Speaker 2: twenty four to seven and it'll drive me insane and

908
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:54,239
Speaker 2: I'd make her hate me. Part of me hopes we

909
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:56,960
Speaker 2: reconcile sometimes because I do love her. However, I think

910
00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:59,759
Speaker 2: for now we're better off on different paths. Comment three

911
00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:01,799
Speaker 2: says it's over and that's all you have to deal

912
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:05,359
Speaker 2: with now, and the howls and the whys at this

913
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:08,160
Speaker 2: point mean absolutely nothing. You guys were heading for a

914
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:10,800
Speaker 2: breakup anyway, and when push came to shove, she showed

915
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:12,920
Speaker 2: you that there was nothing here to be saved. So

916
00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:15,719
Speaker 2: if you want any one bit of advice, it is this.

917
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:19,040
Speaker 2: Don't bother thinking about this anymore. It will hurt for time,

918
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:21,319
Speaker 2: but then it won't. But the longer you do think

919
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:24,080
Speaker 2: about it, the longer that hurt process will take. There's

920
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:26,520
Speaker 2: simply no point in analyzing this. There is no point

921
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 2: in asking questions. There is no point in even thinking

922
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:31,800
Speaker 2: about if she cheated on you or not. It simply

923
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:34,000
Speaker 2: doesn't matter, as the relationship has ended and you are

924
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:37,160
Speaker 2: both now permanently out of each other's lives. Just accept that,

925
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,640
Speaker 2: put it in that place called the past, and stop

926
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:42,359
Speaker 2: letting it occupy so much of your time.

927
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:44,960
Speaker 4: A lot of thoughts.

928
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, hope, he replies, thank you for your words. I

929
00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:51,320
Speaker 2: think I'm just over analyzing this because I have hopes

930
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:52,000
Speaker 2: of reconcile.

931
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:56,040
Speaker 4: You're not reconciling. She broke up with you.

932
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 2: Dude, but I'm also wondering if it's even worth it.

933
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 4: Long road ahead. So she was my everything. Oh there's

934
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:04,840
Speaker 4: an update. Let's just get right into it. Let's do it.

935
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 2: Basically, I am not planning on breaking no contact at all.

936
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:10,920
Speaker 2: Deleted all the picks and conversations, return things, basically everything

937
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:14,719
Speaker 2: to ensure there was no reconcile possibly happening. I can

938
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:17,040
Speaker 2: tell she was planning to come back after the breakup,

939
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:19,640
Speaker 2: but since that will not be possible, I'm pretty sure

940
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:22,120
Speaker 2: she got a new guy. Now I have a girlfriend

941
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:22,600
Speaker 2: right now.

942
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:23,279
Speaker 4: She's nice.

943
00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:25,520
Speaker 2: We've known each other for over a month. Still taking

944
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:28,160
Speaker 2: things slow, but hopeful what I know how to see

945
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 2: the red flags. She knows about the whole situation, and

946
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:34,799
Speaker 2: we're trying our best so far. Genuinely way happier. Thanks

947
00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 2: for the advice some of you guys left in here.

948
00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:38,520
Speaker 4: I'm like glad that you're hobby and stuff, But it

949
00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:40,120
Speaker 4: is kind of weird to me that you were like,

950
00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:41,759
Speaker 4: what if we break up and then she gets within

951
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:44,160
Speaker 4: our person and then you're like dating someone else.

952
00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:46,399
Speaker 5: I just always like, she's my everything. I love her,

953
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:49,440
Speaker 5: She's the best girlfriend ever. But we broke up, but

954
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:52,600
Speaker 5: I want to reconcile, and now I have a new girlfriend,

955
00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:57,480
Speaker 5: you moved on. I think, op, this shows you you

956
00:44:57,640 --> 00:45:01,839
Speaker 5: learned you learned from your previous relationship. Ah, and that's that.

957
00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:05,040
Speaker 2: And that's fair, and that's the end.

958
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:05,880
Speaker 1: Of that story.

959
00:45:07,239 --> 00:45:10,239
Speaker 4: I asked for space while sleeping and my boyfriend took

960
00:45:10,280 --> 00:45:11,480
Speaker 4: it personally, So.

961
00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:13,920
Speaker 1: All, fine, you need space, Okay, I'm gonna leave to

962
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:15,360
Speaker 1: outer space. How about that?

963
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:18,879
Speaker 4: I Female twenty one and my partner in male twenty

964
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:21,920
Speaker 4: one have now been living together for about six months.

965
00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:25,480
Speaker 4: My partner likes to sleep cuddled up to someone. I, however,

966
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:28,960
Speaker 4: do not. This isn't an issue that just happened to

967
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:31,279
Speaker 4: occur in my life. I've always had an issue with

968
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:34,520
Speaker 4: people in my personal space while wanting to sleep. By

969
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:36,960
Speaker 4: the way, this comes from then philosophy five one A

970
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:39,120
Speaker 4: one And if you want to submit your own stories,

971
00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:41,160
Speaker 4: go to the dr slash. Okay, storytime severed it.

972
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:44,520
Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, I'm ke On, and we're here

973
00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:44,879
Speaker 1: to give.

974
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:46,720
Speaker 4: Good advice scoofy. But we don't have all the answers.

975
00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:48,560
Speaker 4: We only know what we'd do, So let us know

976
00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:51,120
Speaker 4: what you would do in the commons and op says,

977
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:54,160
Speaker 4: I do not mind having someone near me or next

978
00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:57,319
Speaker 4: to me while sleeping, it's the cuddling and hugging part

979
00:45:57,320 --> 00:46:00,120
Speaker 4: that annoys me. I've always made my feelings on things

980
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:03,239
Speaker 4: pretty clear, as I like telling things in a rather

981
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:06,880
Speaker 4: direct way. The first few nights we officially started living together,

982
00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:09,920
Speaker 4: I wouldn't mind it. We would sleep cuddled up together

983
00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:14,439
Speaker 4: and everything was fine. But it started to become too

984
00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:17,320
Speaker 4: much after the first week or two. I consider myself

985
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:20,279
Speaker 4: a very direct person when it comes to issues I

986
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:22,759
Speaker 4: might have with someone, or even just things I as

987
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:25,719
Speaker 4: a person don't like to do or have done. So

988
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 4: from the very beginning, when it started to bother me

989
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:31,360
Speaker 4: cuddling to sleep, I let my partner know I couldn't

990
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:35,480
Speaker 4: sleep comfortably like that. This seemed to rather shake things

991
00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:38,520
Speaker 4: up for our relationship. My partner would take it in

992
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:41,840
Speaker 4: a different direction than what it was. For instance, I

993
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:44,600
Speaker 4: tell him I don't want to sleep hugging tonight, and

994
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:47,239
Speaker 4: for some odd reason, his mind would process that in

995
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:50,439
Speaker 4: a whole different conversation. He'd say things like you don't

996
00:46:50,480 --> 00:46:53,720
Speaker 4: love me anymore, or you just prefer to be alone.

997
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:56,200
Speaker 4: I would look at him and be like, that has

998
00:46:56,239 --> 00:46:58,400
Speaker 4: nothing to do with me not wanting to cuddle.

999
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:02,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a red flas because it's so unlike some

1000
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:05,080
Speaker 1: people just aren't built to cuddle at night.

1001
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:09,240
Speaker 4: I'm a cuddler, but if someone's not a cuddler, that's okay.

1002
00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:11,960
Speaker 4: My partner would go on and on about how he

1003
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:14,600
Speaker 4: has struggled throughout his life and that he finally has

1004
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:17,319
Speaker 4: a home and a family, and he does his very

1005
00:47:17,360 --> 00:47:20,680
Speaker 4: best for us and makes an effort. I never once

1006
00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:23,400
Speaker 4: stated he didn't. I tried explaining to him that I

1007
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:26,600
Speaker 4: would never minimize all he had done or helped me

1008
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:29,800
Speaker 4: with in our relationship, and that I am grateful for everything.

1009
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 4: It's just the sleeping cuddled up that I have issues with.

1010
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:36,400
Speaker 4: But every time I bring it up, a new argument starts.

1011
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:38,920
Speaker 4: It's really starting to make me tired of trying to

1012
00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:41,839
Speaker 4: set the boundary with him, since every time I try

1013
00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:43,799
Speaker 4: to talk about it, he continues to make it into

1014
00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:47,440
Speaker 4: an argument. So the other night we finally went to

1015
00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:51,200
Speaker 4: bed and he wanted to cuddle again. I told him,

1016
00:47:51,239 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 4: please fix yourself into your own spot. I want to

1017
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:57,040
Speaker 4: be in mind. He didn't seem to care, as he

1018
00:47:57,160 --> 00:48:00,279
Speaker 4: still moved to cuddle, so I proceeded with, and you

1019
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:03,080
Speaker 4: move out of my space and stan yours. God, I

1020
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:05,920
Speaker 4: really do wish I didn't say anything after that. He

1021
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:07,840
Speaker 4: made it into an argument once again.

1022
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:11,359
Speaker 1: There's literally no argument to be had now. It's not

1023
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:13,799
Speaker 1: like an argument of like we that you should be

1024
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 1: or have to be okay with this. It's like I

1025
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:18,399
Speaker 1: don't don't want to do that, and that doesn't mean

1026
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:21,000
Speaker 1: I hate you. And if you can't accept that, I

1027
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:24,640
Speaker 1: don't know I'd be so frustrated me too.

1028
00:48:24,880 --> 00:48:27,279
Speaker 4: Mind you, I was already pretty tired from being sick

1029
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:29,919
Speaker 4: and barely getting out of the hospital. He went ahead

1030
00:48:29,960 --> 00:48:32,520
Speaker 4: and stated, I'm tired of you always moving me when

1031
00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:35,080
Speaker 4: I want to be near you. You're acting like I bother.

1032
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:36,160
Speaker 5: You, because you are.

1033
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:40,680
Speaker 1: You're bothering me right now in this one specific context, to.

1034
00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:43,080
Speaker 4: Which I respond, it's not that you bother me. We've

1035
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:45,920
Speaker 4: had this conversation before, and I made it clear I

1036
00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:49,840
Speaker 4: like having my own space while sleeping, and once again

1037
00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:52,640
Speaker 4: I got the same response. I've got a struggled life

1038
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:54,719
Speaker 4: growing up, and I just feel like you don't want

1039
00:48:54,760 --> 00:48:56,720
Speaker 4: me with you and that you prefer to be alone.

1040
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 4: Every time I ask you for just one thing, you

1041
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:01,719
Speaker 4: can't give it to me. It's not one thing you

1042
00:49:01,719 --> 00:49:03,799
Speaker 4: ask for it over and over and he's already been

1043
00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:06,880
Speaker 4: clear like I understand physical touch, I really do, but

1044
00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:09,719
Speaker 4: it's just not something I want while I'm asleep. I

1045
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:11,760
Speaker 4: just don't know how to explain it to him without

1046
00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:15,040
Speaker 4: arguing all the day time. So readers, am I the

1047
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:17,960
Speaker 4: ale for not wanting to cuddle while sleeping? And there

1048
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:21,880
Speaker 4: is an update three days later, no.

1049
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:25,400
Speaker 1: Breakup. I think you probably should because he's trying to

1050
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:28,400
Speaker 1: like use his like, Oh, but I went through all

1051
00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:31,359
Speaker 1: this stuff and like that means I deserve this and

1052
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:33,759
Speaker 1: you need to give it to me because I don't know.

1053
00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:37,799
Speaker 1: It's just like just feels like emotionally manipulative.

1054
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:42,640
Speaker 4: I absolutely agree. Okay, so it's been three days since

1055
00:49:42,680 --> 00:49:45,239
Speaker 4: I posted about me not being able to sleep while

1056
00:49:45,239 --> 00:49:48,600
Speaker 4: cuddled up with my partner and how that conversation brings

1057
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:51,680
Speaker 4: up arguments between us. First, I'd like to clear some

1058
00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 4: things up, as I have been reading everyone's comments and

1059
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:57,440
Speaker 4: trying to reply to some when I first posted. I

1060
00:49:57,480 --> 00:50:00,880
Speaker 4: am totally okay with physical touch. Me and my partner

1061
00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:03,319
Speaker 4: are always together in our free time and we love

1062
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:06,480
Speaker 4: spending time together. That was never the issue. I do

1063
00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:09,839
Speaker 4: love my partner a lot. He's my first serious relationship

1064
00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:12,799
Speaker 4: after I spend some time healing and making sure I

1065
00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:15,720
Speaker 4: was totally ready for one, and I couldn't be happier

1066
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:18,400
Speaker 4: with him by my side. Now, for some things I

1067
00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:21,839
Speaker 4: didn't initially make clear in my first post, as it's

1068
00:50:21,880 --> 00:50:25,000
Speaker 4: my first time ever posting, When I say cuddled up

1069
00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:28,920
Speaker 4: in order to sleep, I literally mean he's right on me.

1070
00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:32,879
Speaker 4: That's just way, that's just the way he cuddles. I'm

1071
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:35,480
Speaker 4: five to two and he's six foot for reference, So

1072
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:38,240
Speaker 4: when we lay down and he wants to sleep cuddled,

1073
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:40,920
Speaker 4: I really do prefer not to have someone literally on

1074
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:43,680
Speaker 4: top of me while I try to sleep. Once again,

1075
00:50:43,719 --> 00:50:45,719
Speaker 4: this isn't just an issue that occurred in my life

1076
00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:48,560
Speaker 4: as of now. I've always been this way, and it's

1077
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:51,120
Speaker 4: just the way I'm used to sleeping. I get that

1078
00:50:51,160 --> 00:50:53,759
Speaker 4: we all have different sleeping patterns and how cuddling can

1079
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:56,160
Speaker 4: be one of his. So we talked about it, and

1080
00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:58,000
Speaker 4: he told me that this is a new thing for him,

1081
00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:00,799
Speaker 4: that before he was able to just sep, but when

1082
00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:03,359
Speaker 4: he's around me, he loves to just cuddle and hug

1083
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:06,319
Speaker 4: because it makes him feel safe. And loved. I can

1084
00:51:06,360 --> 00:51:09,839
Speaker 4: totally understand that I'm not a monster, guys, I'm human too.

1085
00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:12,319
Speaker 4: We talked about it for a while, and I told

1086
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:14,640
Speaker 4: him that I love for him to feel safe and

1087
00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:17,000
Speaker 4: loved with me, but I feel that way as well

1088
00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:20,120
Speaker 4: when I'm around him. I also explain why I can't

1089
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:22,640
Speaker 4: sleep the way he'd like for us to sleep, so

1090
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:26,319
Speaker 4: we did compromise. I saw a comment on my other

1091
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:28,600
Speaker 4: post that said, we can do the cuddling before sleeping.

1092
00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:30,600
Speaker 4: I was gonna say, can we do a little compromise

1093
00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:33,239
Speaker 4: where before you guys actually fall asleep, can we.

1094
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:35,160
Speaker 1: Do a little pre cuddle pre sleep cuddling.

1095
00:51:35,280 --> 00:51:36,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was gonna suggest that.

1096
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:38,600
Speaker 1: So I'm glad that someone did puddling.

1097
00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:42,360
Speaker 4: Puddle, and once we're ready to sleep, to just sleep

1098
00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:45,080
Speaker 4: near each other. I also saw another one that said

1099
00:51:45,080 --> 00:51:46,960
Speaker 4: to try to do the leg on top of one

1100
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:50,719
Speaker 4: another so that feeling of cuddling isn't completely gone. Yeah,

1101
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:54,200
Speaker 4: sometimes you just need like a little lake arm touching

1102
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:55,320
Speaker 4: one body parts.

1103
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:58,360
Speaker 1: I still think it's kind of weird that he was

1104
00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:04,400
Speaker 1: just was unable to understand, Oh, don't sleep with someone

1105
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:08,480
Speaker 1: cuddling you and you're like a small person and He's enormous,

1106
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:12,680
Speaker 1: So it's like, yeah, I'm sleeping with like a big mammal.

1107
00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:16,120
Speaker 4: Right around me, and that's exactly what we're gonna do.

1108
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:19,120
Speaker 4: We will get in all the cuddling we can before sleeping,

1109
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:22,279
Speaker 4: like maybe start a new series or watch movies before bed.

1110
00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:25,440
Speaker 4: That way, we are cuddled up and comfy, and while sleeping,

1111
00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:28,440
Speaker 4: I have been intertaining. I have been intertwining my legs

1112
00:52:28,480 --> 00:52:31,160
Speaker 4: with his and it's really working. We have been able

1113
00:52:31,200 --> 00:52:33,440
Speaker 4: to sleep fine without any issues doing this.

1114
00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:35,879
Speaker 1: I would just be on the lookout for this kind

1115
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:39,880
Speaker 1: of behavior in any other contexts of your relationship.

1116
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:45,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm a little bit I don't know, not suspicious,

1117
00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:47,600
Speaker 4: but I'm a little bit worried.

1118
00:52:48,680 --> 00:52:50,399
Speaker 1: Like you're gonna be like, he's gonna be like, can

1119
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:52,279
Speaker 1: I have your fries, and you're gonna be like, no,

1120
00:52:52,360 --> 00:52:54,960
Speaker 1: I want to eat my fries. You love me. I

1121
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:58,160
Speaker 1: went through a lot growing up my childhood and you

1122
00:52:58,200 --> 00:52:59,920
Speaker 1: can't even give me your French fries.

1123
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:02,680
Speaker 4: As for the people who were telling me that I

1124
00:53:02,719 --> 00:53:05,120
Speaker 4: don't deserve him, that I'm the ale for not wanting

1125
00:53:05,120 --> 00:53:06,839
Speaker 4: to cuddle with him, and then I just have an

1126
00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:09,040
Speaker 4: issue with physical touch. I don't know how my first

1127
00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:10,960
Speaker 4: post made it sound like I just don't love him,

1128
00:53:11,280 --> 00:53:13,640
Speaker 4: But I read your comments, and although I did feel

1129
00:53:13,640 --> 00:53:15,719
Speaker 4: like the ale, I guess some of what you guys

1130
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:18,760
Speaker 4: said was helpful, not because I don't love him, but

1131
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:20,680
Speaker 4: because but because I saw it as a foreseen future

1132
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:24,360
Speaker 4: that I don't want for us. Anyways, thanks to everyone

1133
00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:26,400
Speaker 4: who read and gave me good advice. I'm glad I

1134
00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:28,799
Speaker 4: was able to post and get something positive out of it.

1135
00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:31,160
Speaker 4: You're happy and still very much in love with each other.

1136
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:32,879
Speaker 4: If you say so.

1137
00:53:34,200 --> 00:53:37,799
Speaker 1: I mean, as long as that vibe doesn't leak into.

1138
00:53:37,520 --> 00:53:39,480
Speaker 4: The rest of your relationship.

1139
00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:41,319
Speaker 1: I guessed that it's good.

1140
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:45,239
Speaker 4: I'm just a little bit worried compromise.

1141
00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:48,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, we got there, and that's the end of this story.

1142
00:53:48,920 --> 00:53:50,160
Speaker 1: We're gonna go on to the next one.

1143
00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:55,279
Speaker 3: Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here, and.

1144
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:56,960
Speaker 4: We're going to get back to the stories.

1145
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,799
Speaker 3: But he's a three minute ad break from our sponsors.

1146
00:54:00,760 --> 00:54:03,920
Speaker 1: My boyfriend's X keeps calling him, and I don't know

1147
00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:07,880
Speaker 1: if I'm overreacting. Hang up, I twenty five female am

1148
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:10,880
Speaker 1: dating a guy thirty six male, and his ex twenty

1149
00:54:10,880 --> 00:54:15,759
Speaker 1: five female is calling him. Sometimes this comes from user

1150
00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:18,520
Speaker 1: amy insect eight four four eight, and if you want

1151
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:20,080
Speaker 1: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

1152
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:23,640
Speaker 1: Okay storytime subbered it. I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, I'm Keon,

1153
00:54:23,920 --> 00:54:25,719
Speaker 1: and we're here to give good advice googly, but we

1154
00:54:25,719 --> 00:54:28,000
Speaker 1: don't have all the answers. We only know what we know.

1155
00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:31,160
Speaker 1: So if you know something we don't know, let us

1156
00:54:31,239 --> 00:54:35,880
Speaker 1: know in the comments, and Op says, long story short.

1157
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:39,080
Speaker 1: We met online and I drove to his country to

1158
00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:41,719
Speaker 1: meet him. We're the same nationality and we had a

1159
00:54:41,719 --> 00:54:46,360
Speaker 1: great time together, filled with intimacy. Of course, Before the

1160
00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:49,560
Speaker 1: meeting and after, we talked constantly. We can talk on

1161
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:52,359
Speaker 1: the phone almost the entire day. We text a lot,

1162
00:54:52,400 --> 00:54:54,720
Speaker 1: and he is always the one who calls me first.

1163
00:54:55,320 --> 00:54:57,920
Speaker 1: He calls me after work at home from the store,

1164
00:54:58,080 --> 00:55:01,800
Speaker 1: before sleep, and sometimes we even sleap together on phone calls.

1165
00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:06,000
Speaker 1: We have been inseparable for three months since we met.

1166
00:55:06,480 --> 00:55:09,080
Speaker 1: He messaged me first and kept messaging me even when

1167
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:11,680
Speaker 1: I was giving short replies okay. When I was at

1168
00:55:11,680 --> 00:55:13,920
Speaker 1: his house for the weekend and left on Monday, he

1169
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:16,840
Speaker 1: did not stop me at the time. A few days

1170
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:19,000
Speaker 1: later he told me, why did you have to go,

1171
00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:22,040
Speaker 1: you could have stayed, which made me think he missed me.

1172
00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:24,600
Speaker 1: I wanted to stay too, but I didn't want to

1173
00:55:24,600 --> 00:55:27,799
Speaker 1: stay too long and annoy him. He's currently at his

1174
00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:29,920
Speaker 1: family's place, and we have kind of planned that he

1175
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:31,879
Speaker 1: might take me to his home for New Year's Eve,

1176
00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:35,200
Speaker 1: although it's not confirmed yet. When he drove to his family,

1177
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:38,439
Speaker 1: which was a long drive, we talked almost the entire ride.

1178
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:41,440
Speaker 1: He updates me on everything and I do the same.

1179
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:43,919
Speaker 1: He always calls me, which I think is a big

1180
00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:48,000
Speaker 1: indicator that he is into me. Now for the other

1181
00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:50,759
Speaker 1: part of the story. Before we met about two months ago,

1182
00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:53,840
Speaker 1: we were talking on the phone when his phone started buzzing.

1183
00:55:54,400 --> 00:55:56,520
Speaker 1: I asked why he wasn't picking up, and he said

1184
00:55:56,560 --> 00:56:00,920
Speaker 1: it was his ex. My stomach dropped. He said he

1185
00:56:00,920 --> 00:56:03,399
Speaker 1: would pick up and call me back. When he called

1186
00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:06,080
Speaker 1: me back, he said her father had passed away, which

1187
00:56:06,239 --> 00:56:09,319
Speaker 1: is true, and she wanted to talk. They broke up

1188
00:56:09,440 --> 00:56:13,080
Speaker 1: three years ago. One year ago she went missing or

1189
00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:16,080
Speaker 1: ran away, and he said he was worried and cried

1190
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:19,360
Speaker 1: because he was afraid for her. So they broke up

1191
00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:21,160
Speaker 1: three years ago. She was twenty two and he was

1192
00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:22,080
Speaker 1: thirty three.

1193
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:25,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, he.

1194
00:56:25,120 --> 00:56:27,560
Speaker 1: Even sent her money so she could go back to

1195
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:31,480
Speaker 1: her country. After that, we continued talking and I asked

1196
00:56:31,520 --> 00:56:34,120
Speaker 1: if there was something between them. He said no and

1197
00:56:34,200 --> 00:56:36,360
Speaker 1: explained that she was with someone else and wanted to

1198
00:56:36,360 --> 00:56:39,200
Speaker 1: get back with him, but he did not want that.

1199
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:43,440
Speaker 1: Why are we involved in our ex'es romantic affairs? Mmmm?

1200
00:56:45,239 --> 00:56:48,680
Speaker 1: Over the next two months, his phone occasionally buzzed during

1201
00:56:48,719 --> 00:56:51,600
Speaker 1: our calls. I guessed twice and asked if it was

1202
00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:54,279
Speaker 1: his ex, and he said yes. He said he didn't

1203
00:56:54,320 --> 00:56:56,680
Speaker 1: want to talk to her, and I appreciated that he

1204
00:56:56,719 --> 00:56:57,400
Speaker 1: didn't hide it.

1205
00:56:57,719 --> 00:56:59,719
Speaker 4: He's like, no, I'm talking to my ex. I don't

1206
00:56:59,719 --> 00:57:01,920
Speaker 4: want I have to. Sorry.

1207
00:57:02,640 --> 00:57:04,360
Speaker 1: Is that gonna mean maybe he feels some sort of

1208
00:57:04,520 --> 00:57:06,759
Speaker 1: weird sense of responsibility.

1209
00:57:06,080 --> 00:57:09,160
Speaker 4: For Oh, I don't know. This is all weird.

1210
00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:13,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, Still it made me worried. He claimed she had

1211
00:57:13,440 --> 00:57:16,040
Speaker 1: not called him in three weeks and that she sometimes

1212
00:57:16,200 --> 00:57:19,560
Speaker 1: just randomly calls. Fast forward to two weeks ago, when

1213
00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:21,959
Speaker 1: I was at his place. I was about to leave

1214
00:57:22,120 --> 00:57:25,480
Speaker 1: around seven pm when his phone buzzed. He had his

1215
00:57:25,560 --> 00:57:27,960
Speaker 1: phone with him the entire time and did not pick up.

1216
00:57:28,440 --> 00:57:31,120
Speaker 1: I asked if it was her, and he confirmed it was.

1217
00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:34,680
Speaker 1: She called twice and he didn't answer. He said I

1218
00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:36,960
Speaker 1: haven't talked to her for three weeks, which means he

1219
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:39,280
Speaker 1: did pick up three weeks ago and I do not

1220
00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:42,200
Speaker 1: know why. While I was at his place, we got

1221
00:57:42,240 --> 00:57:44,640
Speaker 1: a bit tipsy and I asked him if he was

1222
00:57:44,680 --> 00:57:47,320
Speaker 1: going to meet her since she was visiting his family

1223
00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:50,080
Speaker 1: in the same city where she lives. He said no

1224
00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:52,160
Speaker 1: and told me she would like to meet him, but

1225
00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:54,880
Speaker 1: he didn't want to. He said he wouldn't do that.

1226
00:57:55,680 --> 00:57:57,840
Speaker 1: I asked him who was more important me or her,

1227
00:57:58,040 --> 00:58:01,040
Speaker 1: and he said she wasn't important at all. He also

1228
00:58:01,240 --> 00:58:05,560
Speaker 1: mentioned that she probably has a man, although I do

1229
00:58:05,640 --> 00:58:09,240
Speaker 1: not think that's true. He said that relationship was a

1230
00:58:09,280 --> 00:58:12,200
Speaker 1: huge mistake. When I asked what he meant and whether

1231
00:58:12,240 --> 00:58:14,520
Speaker 1: they catch up on their lives, he said I was

1232
00:58:14,560 --> 00:58:18,360
Speaker 1: interrogating him and joked that I was jealous. That made

1233
00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:22,160
Speaker 1: me feel unsure and uncomfortable. From what he says, she

1234
00:58:22,280 --> 00:58:25,080
Speaker 1: calls him randomly. He says he does not want to

1235
00:58:25,080 --> 00:58:27,240
Speaker 1: get back with her and that he has no emotional

1236
00:58:27,240 --> 00:58:30,400
Speaker 1: connection with her. He talks with me for long hours

1237
00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:33,120
Speaker 1: every day and texts constantly, so I doubt he would

1238
00:58:33,160 --> 00:58:36,160
Speaker 1: do that long distance if he wanted to go back

1239
00:58:36,160 --> 00:58:39,960
Speaker 1: to her. He prioritizes contact with me and wanted to

1240
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:42,800
Speaker 1: meet me again. He is caring and nice, and we

1241
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:45,600
Speaker 1: send each other a lot of voice messages. He sends

1242
00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:48,320
Speaker 1: me pictures of his apartment and jokes about picturing my

1243
00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:51,720
Speaker 1: dog there. He jokes about my dress hanging in his

1244
00:58:51,760 --> 00:58:55,480
Speaker 1: bathroom and even kept our grocery list, sending me a

1245
00:58:55,520 --> 00:58:58,480
Speaker 1: picture of it and saying he was sentimental. I was

1246
00:58:58,520 --> 00:59:01,600
Speaker 1: surprised he did not throw it away. All of this

1247
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:04,960
Speaker 1: makes me think he is really into me. He's a

1248
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:07,520
Speaker 1: wonderful human being, and there are no words to describe

1249
00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:09,880
Speaker 1: how happy I am that I found him. He brought

1250
00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:11,840
Speaker 1: light into my life, and I want to make him

1251
00:59:11,880 --> 00:59:14,640
Speaker 1: happy too, because he deserves it. He calls me multiple

1252
00:59:14,720 --> 00:59:16,760
Speaker 1: times a day, and if there's one hour of silence,

1253
00:59:16,920 --> 00:59:19,120
Speaker 1: he calls again. I don't like that.

1254
00:59:19,200 --> 00:59:22,600
Speaker 4: I don't like that either. Too much seems like too much.

1255
00:59:23,320 --> 00:59:28,200
Speaker 4: It feels like there are long distance. Oh, it feels

1256
00:59:28,200 --> 00:59:29,520
Speaker 4: like a little intense for me.

1257
00:59:30,760 --> 00:59:34,040
Speaker 1: It just feels almost like every like what a couple

1258
00:59:34,080 --> 00:59:36,720
Speaker 1: of weeks was X calling him?

1259
00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:38,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, but like put up those boundaries.

1260
00:59:39,480 --> 00:59:42,640
Speaker 1: He updates me with pictures and little things throughout his day,

1261
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:46,320
Speaker 1: and I don't know why his ex is calling him.

1262
00:59:46,480 --> 00:59:48,800
Speaker 1: He said once that she wants to borrow money and

1263
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:52,040
Speaker 1: never gives it back. Considering she called when I was there,

1264
00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:55,600
Speaker 1: I don't know how often she actually calls. He claims

1265
00:59:55,640 --> 00:59:58,160
Speaker 1: he won't get back with her, but if she had someone,

1266
00:59:58,440 --> 01:00:00,680
Speaker 1: I don't think she would still be called her ex.

1267
01:00:01,040 --> 01:00:04,240
Speaker 4: I just don't trust this relationship. I don't like the

1268
01:00:04,400 --> 01:00:06,560
Speaker 4: age gap. I don't like him talking to his ex.

1269
01:00:06,600 --> 01:00:08,040
Speaker 4: I don't like how much he's talking to you.

1270
01:00:08,960 --> 01:00:10,840
Speaker 1: I think I don't know where they are because he said,

1271
01:00:10,880 --> 01:00:12,760
Speaker 1: you're driving to a different country, so it could be

1272
01:00:12,800 --> 01:00:14,920
Speaker 1: a cultural difference that, like the age gap, isn't that

1273
01:00:14,960 --> 01:00:18,400
Speaker 1: big of a deal. Yeah, But like I think, you

1274
01:00:18,480 --> 01:00:20,880
Speaker 1: have to decide whether or not you trust this guy,

1275
01:00:21,480 --> 01:00:24,000
Speaker 1: and then if you do, you know, trust that he's

1276
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:26,560
Speaker 1: with you and he's not gonna give with his ex. Anyway,

1277
01:00:26,640 --> 01:00:29,960
Speaker 1: let's finish this story. I am stressed that when I

1278
01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:32,960
Speaker 1: stay at his place again, she'll call and ruin my mood.

1279
01:00:33,560 --> 01:00:35,440
Speaker 1: The best thing would be for him to answer and

1280
01:00:35,480 --> 01:00:38,160
Speaker 1: for her to hear my feminine voice. But I don't

1281
01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:41,120
Speaker 1: want to get involved since I'm not his girlfriend yet

1282
01:00:41,560 --> 01:00:44,200
Speaker 1: even though we act like a couple. Girl, if you're

1283
01:00:44,240 --> 01:00:47,040
Speaker 1: not his girlfriend and he's talking to you like twenty

1284
01:00:47,120 --> 01:00:51,840
Speaker 1: four to seven, that's y'all gotta y'all gotta decide. Yeah,

1285
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:56,560
Speaker 1: I am worried. Even though he says she only calls sometimes.

1286
01:00:57,200 --> 01:00:59,600
Speaker 1: Maybe he is casual about the contact and picks up

1287
01:00:59,640 --> 01:01:02,560
Speaker 1: sometimes because there's no emotional connection from his side, so

1288
01:01:02,920 --> 01:01:05,680
Speaker 1: it isn't a big deal to him. They're not seeing

1289
01:01:05,680 --> 01:01:09,160
Speaker 1: each other and he lives abroad. As I said, he

1290
01:01:09,240 --> 01:01:11,560
Speaker 1: puts a lot of energy into contact with me, even

1291
01:01:11,640 --> 01:01:14,720
Speaker 1: though we're long distance. His family and friends know about

1292
01:01:14,760 --> 01:01:18,480
Speaker 1: me because he told them. Any advice, that's the end

1293
01:01:18,480 --> 01:01:19,120
Speaker 1: of that story.

1294
01:01:19,320 --> 01:01:21,360
Speaker 4: I don't know. I would just keep an eye out,

1295
01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:25,440
Speaker 4: maybe express these feelings about the eggs.

1296
01:01:25,680 --> 01:01:28,640
Speaker 1: My advice is, if you're talking to somebody twenty hours

1297
01:01:28,680 --> 01:01:31,600
Speaker 1: a day, you should be pretty clear on what your

1298
01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:35,120
Speaker 1: labels are. And if it's not dating, then what are

1299
01:01:35,160 --> 01:01:40,680
Speaker 1: you doing? Yeah, Like that's the truth he's telling you.

1300
01:01:40,760 --> 01:01:43,840
Speaker 1: Like I'm picturing your dog here and you living here

1301
01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:47,800
Speaker 1: in your dresses in my bathroom, it certainly sounds like

1302
01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:50,880
Speaker 1: you're dating. I would say so, But that is the

1303
01:01:50,960 --> 01:01:51,800
Speaker 1: end of that story.