WEBVTT - Unholy Matrimony 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.159 Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:17.160 and the Black Effects, and just like that, we back 0:00:17.200 --> 0:00:19.640 on the air. Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless 0:00:19.680 --> 0:00:23.520 episode with Sugar just hilarious. Listen, y'all, it's been a 0:00:23.520 --> 0:00:26.880 lot going on. For those who don't know, I actually 0:00:27.000 --> 0:00:34.320 had the pleasure of hosting Joscelyn's Caboet season four reunion. Y'all, 0:00:34.400 --> 0:00:36.720 y'all gotta get into it. Make sure if y'all don't 0:00:36.720 --> 0:00:39.440 got zoos, make sure y'all download. Yeah, sure, I have 0:00:39.479 --> 0:00:44.479 to pay a prescription. It's like a subscription. Make sure 0:00:44.560 --> 0:00:47.000 y'all paid a suscription. Can watch y'all. Good old Sis 0:00:47.200 --> 0:00:49.480 host that reunion. It's something I've never ever done before. 0:00:49.560 --> 0:00:51.519 Now that this is the show where they be fighting, 0:00:51.680 --> 0:00:53.880 but it ain't like batties where you gotta fight to. 0:00:53.840 --> 0:00:54.440 Be on it. 0:00:54.440 --> 0:00:57.880 It's actually some good, enlightening shit like I'm proud of Joscelyn. 0:00:58.160 --> 0:01:00.240 I can't wait for y'all to see, because it's one 0:01:00.240 --> 0:01:02.760 thing that you expect about Jocelyn is to always see 0:01:02.760 --> 0:01:04.880 her beat the shit out of mind, and she actually 0:01:04.880 --> 0:01:06.479 shocked the fuck out of me. So I need y'all 0:01:06.520 --> 0:01:09.039 to go ahead and watch tune into that. That will 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:11.720 be coming very soon, y'all. But we're gonna jump right 0:01:11.720 --> 0:01:16.760 into fixing the mess now. This is the lady from 0:01:16.800 --> 0:01:20.080 a few episodes back that she called herself checking me, 0:01:20.280 --> 0:01:23.520 you know, because I didn't know the laws and I 0:01:23.560 --> 0:01:27.679 guess the rights of bisexual women per se, so she 0:01:27.760 --> 0:01:29.840 called herself checking me. I did tell her that I 0:01:29.880 --> 0:01:31.720 knew everything that she was telling me, and that that 0:01:31.880 --> 0:01:35.840 still didn't change what I thought or what I said 0:01:35.920 --> 0:01:37.760 to the woman that I was giving the advice to. 0:01:38.280 --> 0:01:41.039 And this is what she has set back, because this 0:01:41.120 --> 0:01:42.520 was the woman that told me that she didn't even 0:01:42.520 --> 0:01:45.759 finish the whole episode because I basically I she didn't 0:01:45.760 --> 0:01:47.720 say I disgusted her, but she got upset so she 0:01:47.760 --> 0:01:50.080 couldn't even finish it. So how the fuck you're gonna 0:01:50.080 --> 0:01:51.920 come at me? You didn't even finish the fucking episode. 0:01:51.960 --> 0:01:54.040 But this is what she said. I haven't listened to it. 0:01:54.080 --> 0:01:55.600 This is my first time listening to it, just like 0:01:55.640 --> 0:01:59.160 it'll be y'all first time. So here we go, Jess. 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:01.440 Hope your day has gone well. 0:02:01.800 --> 0:02:04.920 Yes, ma'am, I'm just hitting you up today just for 0:02:04.960 --> 0:02:09.480 two reasons firstly, to thank you for listening to my 0:02:09.600 --> 0:02:13.840 last messages to you and responding to them, responding to 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:17.000 me directly and using it and the fix my mess 0:02:17.000 --> 0:02:17.680 for last week. 0:02:17.760 --> 0:02:20.919 It was very enlightening to be able to hear that. 0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:22.840 I didn't even know you would use it. 0:02:22.880 --> 0:02:24.880 So I just wanted to thank you once again just 0:02:24.919 --> 0:02:29.160 for taking the time, well ya your day, to even respond, 0:02:29.440 --> 0:02:33.000 you know, and get back with me on that about 0:02:33.000 --> 0:02:35.960 how I was feeling about that particular topic. So I 0:02:36.000 --> 0:02:39.280 thank you so much for that first off. And then 0:02:39.840 --> 0:02:42.440 also you told me not to contact you again. But 0:02:42.680 --> 0:02:45.240 I'm just honestly quite glad that you didn't lock me, 0:02:45.560 --> 0:02:48.400 which I expected, just so that I could have this 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:51.400 opportunity to reach back out to you, and thank you 0:02:51.480 --> 0:02:52.680 once again for listening. 0:02:53.840 --> 0:02:55.840 I also want to I. 0:02:55.840 --> 0:02:57.800 Ain't gonna block you, girl. No, I ain't say I 0:02:57.800 --> 0:03:00.359 was gonna block you. I did tell you don't reach 0:03:00.400 --> 0:03:02.400 back out to me, now, y'all. I did say that, 0:03:02.480 --> 0:03:06.600 now that there is audio of me saying that. But 0:03:06.680 --> 0:03:09.040 I was just so upset because I'm like, damn, how 0:03:09.120 --> 0:03:11.040 you gonna come at me? Hear and even finished listening 0:03:11.080 --> 0:03:14.000 to what I said, I don't give biased advice if 0:03:14.000 --> 0:03:16.720 I and if I felt like I don't know that 0:03:16.880 --> 0:03:19.120 much on a topic, one thing I ain't gonna do 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:21.000 is stick my feet of my mouth because I don't know. 0:03:21.160 --> 0:03:24.040 I don't know the ins and outs of everything that 0:03:24.080 --> 0:03:26.240 I'm asked, You know what I mean. But I only 0:03:26.240 --> 0:03:29.440 give advice on my own experience and my own wisdom, 0:03:29.560 --> 0:03:31.600 you know. So if it's anything I don't know, I 0:03:31.600 --> 0:03:34.920 will gladly tell you I can't help you, or it 0:03:34.960 --> 0:03:36.640 won't be on an episode because I'm not going to 0:03:36.680 --> 0:03:39.880 put your business out there if I can't advise you. So, yeah, 0:03:40.040 --> 0:03:41.560 this is also what she said. 0:03:42.080 --> 0:03:45.600 I also want to issue a formal apology to you 0:03:46.400 --> 0:03:47.320 for offending you. 0:03:47.520 --> 0:03:49.080 And I can't. 0:03:48.640 --> 0:03:52.240 Clearly tell by your response to me directly and when 0:03:52.240 --> 0:03:55.640 you were doing the fix my mess that I clearly 0:03:56.120 --> 0:04:01.320 offended you by trying to critique your advice to someone else. 0:04:02.320 --> 0:04:04.920 And I also want to thank you for mirroring back 0:04:04.960 --> 0:04:08.600 to me how important word choice is when you're trying 0:04:08.640 --> 0:04:12.440 to convey something in a conversation, because I clearly now 0:04:12.520 --> 0:04:16.600 recognize let me using the term check you in the 0:04:16.640 --> 0:04:20.640 beginning of the conversation. Yeah, definitely put everything in a 0:04:20.680 --> 0:04:24.320 more negative light and put you on the defense, rightfully, 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:26.559 So just a little bit, just a little I feel 0:04:26.600 --> 0:04:31.240 like I definitely could have used the better term, because 0:04:31.440 --> 0:04:33.640 when I use the word check, I didn't mean that 0:04:33.720 --> 0:04:36.680 as in correction. I definitely did mean it as in. 0:04:37.720 --> 0:04:40.680 Education or just to try to give you another perspective. 0:04:41.080 --> 0:04:44.520 Yes, ma'am, see this is what grown women can do. 0:04:44.640 --> 0:04:50.640 I love this, Thank you girl, what I've seen done. Okay, 0:04:50.680 --> 0:04:52.560 one of her voice notes are not playing. 0:04:52.360 --> 0:04:55.560 But actually listen to all of it. 0:04:55.560 --> 0:04:58.799 It was about thirty four minutes, I believe, and stop 0:04:58.880 --> 0:05:02.000 when there was just nine minutes left. So when I 0:05:02.040 --> 0:05:03.960 got your response saying that I needed to listen to 0:05:04.000 --> 0:05:05.800 the rest of it, I want ahead and went back 0:05:05.839 --> 0:05:06.880 to it, and you know, it. 0:05:06.839 --> 0:05:09.320 Picked right back up where it was and I realized, 0:05:09.360 --> 0:05:10.680 you know, it was just nine minutes left. 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:12.680 So the last part of what I heard was just you, 0:05:12.680 --> 0:05:14.000 you know, giving her more advice. 0:05:14.960 --> 0:05:16.520 Then you did the you know in your. 0:05:16.440 --> 0:05:17.520 Pam voice piece. 0:05:17.960 --> 0:05:22.080 The next set of advertisements came on, and then that 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:23.800 was the end of it. So I actually did get 0:05:23.839 --> 0:05:27.520 the whole bulk message and that whole session. 0:05:27.640 --> 0:05:30.240 So my apologies for misquoting that as well. 0:05:30.279 --> 0:05:33.360 I actually had listened to the majority of it before 0:05:33.360 --> 0:05:34.640 I would had applied. 0:05:34.920 --> 0:05:36.760 Excuse me, replied, So. 0:05:36.720 --> 0:05:40.120 I can hopefullyly understand how you thinking I only meant 0:05:40.200 --> 0:05:43.480 because of my misspeaking, You thinking that I had only 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:45.760 listened to nine minutes and then trying to judge everything. 0:05:45.800 --> 0:05:47.600 I would have been off put by that as well, 0:05:48.080 --> 0:05:49.359 So I absolutely get it. 0:05:49.400 --> 0:05:51.440 So I just wanted to correct. 0:05:51.120 --> 0:05:54.560 That one point right there, right there, there you go 0:05:54.640 --> 0:05:56.080 with the jail right there. 0:05:56.160 --> 0:05:57.599 And then to answer your question. 0:05:57.760 --> 0:06:02.720 So you asked when what I mentioned being triggered, Let 0:06:02.800 --> 0:06:05.599 me also explain what I meant by that. I did 0:06:05.640 --> 0:06:09.280 not mean about that specific situation. 0:06:09.560 --> 0:06:11.480 I meant in more general terms. 0:06:12.320 --> 0:06:16.480 It just seems like in society today, in past and present, 0:06:17.600 --> 0:06:20.680 that US women get blamed for a lot that the 0:06:20.800 --> 0:06:24.600 men do and not a lot of accountability is placed 0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:28.200 on the man. There's a lot of double standards, I mean, 0:06:28.240 --> 0:06:30.120 and I know you see it. You see every day 0:06:30.120 --> 0:06:33.520 in social media, the different posts that come about different 0:06:33.560 --> 0:06:38.360 podcast conversations between opposite sexes. It just seems like women 0:06:38.480 --> 0:06:40.760 can never do right, you know what I'm saying, And 0:06:40.800 --> 0:06:43.839 that's what I was triggered by, not by this particular situation. 0:06:44.560 --> 0:06:48.000 Just those double standards and how us women have to 0:06:48.040 --> 0:06:51.520 take so much on the chin and in my reality 0:06:51.560 --> 0:06:51.920 and my. 0:06:53.400 --> 0:06:57.120 You know, I wonder why all her voice notes are 0:06:57.160 --> 0:07:02.520 not playing. Sister is frustrating me because she heard some 0:07:02.600 --> 0:07:04.080 good things to say. 0:07:05.400 --> 0:07:06.479 So that's basically it. 0:07:06.520 --> 0:07:08.480 I mean, there were some other things that you mentioned, 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:10.600 but you did mention that you did not want to 0:07:10.600 --> 0:07:12.320 get into it back and forth, so I'm just gonna 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:15.760 let those things go by the wayside. We can agree 0:07:15.800 --> 0:07:18.640 to disagree on this particular topic, but please know that 0:07:18.680 --> 0:07:22.160 it's not going to stop me from listening to your 0:07:22.840 --> 0:07:25.440 fix my message. I still love them. I still love 0:07:25.520 --> 0:07:30.160 you and thank you for everything that you do. And 0:07:30.720 --> 0:07:34.040 please know I was not at all offended by anything 0:07:34.080 --> 0:07:36.560 that you said or anything thank you you said in 0:07:36.600 --> 0:07:39.120 response to me at all, not at all, thank you. 0:07:39.600 --> 0:07:40.480 I like to debate. 0:07:40.680 --> 0:07:41.360 I've been on. 0:07:41.320 --> 0:07:43.680 The debate team in schools and things like that, so 0:07:44.200 --> 0:07:47.440 that conversation, even though we weren't talking directly back and 0:07:47.480 --> 0:07:49.400 forth to one another, I felt like that what was 0:07:49.440 --> 0:07:53.640 going on, and that feeds me. So I wholeheartedly appreciated, 0:07:53.840 --> 0:07:56.760 never took offense to anything, and I still love you 0:07:56.880 --> 0:08:00.480 just the same, just the same. Last thing I want 0:08:00.520 --> 0:08:03.240 to say is and then I'll get off her because 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:06.920 I need to eat lunch. The last thing I want 0:08:06.960 --> 0:08:09.840 to say is you may not be aware, but I'm 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:11.520 sure you can see my picture when I write you, 0:08:11.560 --> 0:08:13.320 I do look very youthful. 0:08:13.240 --> 0:08:13.960 So I don't know. 0:08:14.240 --> 0:08:14.920 Yes you do. 0:08:15.000 --> 0:08:18.520 Responding to me as baby girl is meant in. 0:08:18.600 --> 0:08:21.480 A oh no no. 0:08:21.560 --> 0:08:24.120 But I'm actually a few years older than you, so 0:08:24.440 --> 0:08:25.600 I just wanted to point that out. 0:08:26.080 --> 0:08:26.400 That's it. 0:08:27.120 --> 0:08:29.640 But once again, Jess, you are awesome. Keep doing what 0:08:29.760 --> 0:08:33.000 you do, my sister. You are a voice for the people. 0:08:33.080 --> 0:08:35.920 I love your platform. I will continue to listen, and 0:08:35.960 --> 0:08:37.719 I hope you have a beautiful, blessed day. 0:08:37.760 --> 0:08:42.840 Love. Okay, Hey mss ma'am. No, no, no, no, no, no, 0:08:43.000 --> 0:08:46.760 I literally call if you listen all the time like 0:08:46.840 --> 0:08:50.560 you say you do, I say baby, I call a 0:08:50.600 --> 0:08:53.880 lot of my women baby girl, just because I don't 0:08:53.920 --> 0:08:58.600 know the ages that you women are. Yes, you do 0:08:58.679 --> 0:09:03.439 look a lot youthful. You look you look very very youthful, 0:09:03.760 --> 0:09:08.760 and you're a photo very nice and curvy too. But yeah, 0:09:08.920 --> 0:09:12.840 you know, you know, little petite, slim little thing, but yeah, 0:09:12.920 --> 0:09:16.680 you do look young. So that that's the only reason 0:09:16.760 --> 0:09:18.800 that I call you baby girl, not to be smart. 0:09:19.160 --> 0:09:21.040 I ain't one of those. To be a baby girl, 0:09:21.040 --> 0:09:23.960 a sweetie. Uh yea, no, not to be smart. No, 0:09:24.080 --> 0:09:28.160 I'm not. I literally wasn't. I do want to thank you, 0:09:28.640 --> 0:09:32.200 and I appreciate you being vulnerable enough to actually reach 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:37.439 back out after me saying don't be you know, don't 0:09:37.440 --> 0:09:38.920 reach back out to me and all of that. I 0:09:38.960 --> 0:09:40.920 was just very upset because I was like, no, she 0:09:41.000 --> 0:09:43.680 did not call herself checking me. Yes, it does put 0:09:44.040 --> 0:09:46.800 a negative connotation on things when you say things, so 0:09:46.960 --> 0:09:49.240 I'm checking you. You know what I mean. Just these days, 0:09:49.920 --> 0:09:53.360 wordplay is so it can mean so many different things. 0:09:53.360 --> 0:09:57.120 If you're not directly talking to a person one on one, 0:09:58.000 --> 0:10:01.160 anything can get misconstrued or missing turn or anything. When 0:10:01.200 --> 0:10:03.880 you're sending voice notes. So when you're sending text messages, 0:10:03.960 --> 0:10:08.679 like if you're not in the same like area as 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:11.000 a person, if you're not talking one on one, she 0:10:11.120 --> 0:10:13.200 can kind of get lost in translation. You know, people 0:10:13.240 --> 0:10:16.560 can assume things. I'm so happy that you were not 0:10:16.600 --> 0:10:18.800 offended by anything I said. I'm so happy that you 0:10:18.840 --> 0:10:21.280 did hit me back. Guys, I did send her a 0:10:21.280 --> 0:10:23.720 message that I did not preview you guys too, because 0:10:23.720 --> 0:10:25.880 I felt like that was for me and her and 0:10:25.920 --> 0:10:30.199 not for you guys. Basically, just you know, telling her 0:10:30.240 --> 0:10:32.240 that you know, I hurt my feelings. I ain't think 0:10:32.240 --> 0:10:34.199 that she you know, she critiqued me and came at 0:10:34.240 --> 0:10:35.720 me and all of that, you know, check me, But 0:10:35.800 --> 0:10:38.320 she ain't listened to the whole thing. And and see, 0:10:38.320 --> 0:10:40.200 this is why communication is good as well. I didn't 0:10:40.240 --> 0:10:43.440 know that she listened to twenty one minutes of it. 0:10:43.559 --> 0:10:45.520 She didn't listen to nine minutes. I thought she said 0:10:45.520 --> 0:10:48.480 she listened to only nine minutes of it. So yes, 0:10:48.880 --> 0:10:50.880 but I appreciate you girl. Keep on going back and 0:10:50.920 --> 0:10:52.360 forth with me, and if you got any more mess 0:10:52.400 --> 0:10:55.400 for me to fix, let me know. Hold up, hold up, 0:10:55.440 --> 0:10:57.520 I noticed shit getting good. But listen to just a 0:10:57.600 --> 0:11:00.000 couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen, 0:11:01.720 --> 0:11:05.640 all right. Moving on to the next story, here we go. Hey, Jess, 0:11:05.640 --> 0:11:08.160 am I wrong? So my best friend of fifteen years 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:10.280 just got engaged and she asked me to be her 0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:13.520 maid of honor. I respectfully declined because I know that 0:11:13.559 --> 0:11:16.280 she's cheating on her now fiance and has no plans 0:11:16.280 --> 0:11:20.199 of stopping. Damn. I told her I can't support her 0:11:20.559 --> 0:11:23.199 nor attend the wedding. She said, if I don't come, 0:11:23.760 --> 0:11:26.800 it will raise red flags? Am I wrong? Or should 0:11:26.800 --> 0:11:31.280 I stand my ground? M all right? So look check 0:11:31.320 --> 0:11:33.920 this out right. What I think is this is a 0:11:34.000 --> 0:11:37.480 very complex story, and this can tear you as a 0:11:37.480 --> 0:11:39.600 best friend and then as a woman, because as a woman, 0:11:39.640 --> 0:11:42.480 you standing on dignity, you standing on integrity, you standing 0:11:42.840 --> 0:11:45.040 on morals. You know what I'm saying, and what you 0:11:45.120 --> 0:11:49.560 believe in. What you believe is that when you're marrying somebody, 0:11:49.760 --> 0:11:52.800 you have to be faithful. And upon getting married, you're 0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:56.480 you're writing your vows. This is a covenant, you know, 0:11:57.120 --> 0:12:02.240 of commitment that we're about to you know, signed before God. 0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:05.400 You know what I'm saying. Aka, this is a contract, nigga. 0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:08.600 You can't you can't fuck this up. Basically, and in 0:12:08.679 --> 0:12:13.760 God's eyes, this is a sacred contract, a covenant of 0:12:13.800 --> 0:12:16.680 commitment to be together forever, for better or for worse. 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:22.640 This bitch is already a how worse? God damn. So basically, 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:26.000 your best friend is cheating on her husband, on her 0:12:26.040 --> 0:12:28.320 soon to be husband, who's now you know, her fiance. 0:12:28.880 --> 0:12:31.760 You don't want to attend the wedding because it goes 0:12:31.800 --> 0:12:35.440 against what you believe, which is you have to be 0:12:35.600 --> 0:12:39.520 faithful within your vowels, within your relationship, within your marriage. 0:12:40.000 --> 0:12:42.120 But you know she ain't gonna stop cheating, so you like, 0:12:42.160 --> 0:12:44.200 I don't. I don't even want to be a part 0:12:44.240 --> 0:12:47.520 of this shit. Hmmm. As a woman, you are doing 0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:51.400 the right thing. As a best friend, you are doing 0:12:51.440 --> 0:12:57.280 the right thing. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. If it were 0:12:57.320 --> 0:12:59.520 me and my best friend was going up to be 0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:03.680 married and I knew she was cheating on her husband 0:13:03.880 --> 0:13:06.280 or her wife, you know, because my best friend is gay, 0:13:07.000 --> 0:13:12.200 I don't. I would say I'm not gonna lie. I 0:13:12.200 --> 0:13:16.840 wouldn't not be in the wedding just because my bond 0:13:16.880 --> 0:13:21.120 with my best friend trumps everything. Like it, I put 0:13:21.160 --> 0:13:23.600 my bond with her over everything. My best friend is 0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:26.520 my girl, like that's my ride or die. And y'all 0:13:26.520 --> 0:13:30.240 know how much I hate that term, that phrase ride 0:13:30.320 --> 0:13:34.320 or god. No, this is my real life of a 0:13:34.400 --> 0:13:39.880 half type best friendshit. Like best friend is used very 0:13:39.920 --> 0:13:44.920 loosely these days. The term friend in general is used 0:13:45.200 --> 0:13:49.040 very loosely these days. I feel like to defined friend 0:13:49.920 --> 0:13:52.880 that that gotta be. Man, you're confidant the person that 0:13:52.960 --> 0:13:55.440 tells you when you're wrong, the person that you run 0:13:55.480 --> 0:13:59.840 to for advice, the person that runs to you for advice, 0:14:00.080 --> 0:14:02.640 person that that loves you in and out, that loves 0:14:02.679 --> 0:14:05.439 you no matter what you got in your bank account, 0:14:05.480 --> 0:14:11.160 that loves you no matter what obstacles are throwing your way, 0:14:11.280 --> 0:14:14.360 and ship like that's that's a friend. That's a friend, 0:14:15.040 --> 0:14:17.240 And a person that holds you down man, no matter 0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:19.480 what you're going through. A person that spots you, that 0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:22.600 can see when something is wrong. A person that doesn't 0:14:22.600 --> 0:14:25.880 ignore you, that sees you for who you are, no 0:14:25.920 --> 0:14:28.880 matter what what's going on, whether that's good or bad. 0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:31.760 They wish you in your times of ups as they're 0:14:31.840 --> 0:14:35.480 with you in your times of down. So that's what 0:14:35.560 --> 0:14:37.280 a friend is for me. That's what a That's what 0:14:37.320 --> 0:14:41.440 a best friend is that I just described. And her 0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:48.440 cheating on her fiance still would not make me decline 0:14:48.480 --> 0:14:53.160 being her maid of honor at her wedding. Now, will 0:14:53.200 --> 0:14:56.000 there be a conversation put in place prior to the 0:14:56.040 --> 0:14:57.920 wedding and what I think she should do, what I 0:14:57.960 --> 0:15:05.720 feel she's up against, and how bad I feel as 0:15:05.760 --> 0:15:09.720 a woman standing up there knowing what you're doing knowing 0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:12.840 that you are already breaking your vows, knowing that you're 0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:15.320 up here living a fucking lie. You're living in sin 0:15:15.480 --> 0:15:19.120 before God and your wife and you know, and or husband. 0:15:19.160 --> 0:15:21.920 Whatever that's gonna bother me, It's not gonna bother me 0:15:21.960 --> 0:15:23.400 to the point where I'm gonna say, I'm not gonna 0:15:23.440 --> 0:15:26.160 be in a wedding. But hmm, it will bother me 0:15:26.240 --> 0:15:28.400 a great deal, Yes it would. But she would definitely 0:15:28.440 --> 0:15:30.680 know how I feel before she walked down that out, 0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:32.760 you know what I'm saying, whether she still want to 0:15:32.800 --> 0:15:35.360 go with it or not, whether she gonna keep it 0:15:35.400 --> 0:15:38.600 real with her damn self or not. To be honest, 0:15:38.960 --> 0:15:41.840 I would object. I'm not gonna lie. I'm gonna be 0:15:41.840 --> 0:15:44.600 one of them to object. I Am not going to 0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:47.960 not be there again. I want to stress this. I'm 0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:50.800 not gonna not stand there as I'm maid of honor. 0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:53.320 But what I'm going to do is tell her what 0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:55.720 the plan is. Look, I'm gonna stand up there with you. 0:15:56.200 --> 0:15:59.960 But if you let that preacher or pastor whoever or 0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:04.080 whoever is marrying you, guys, if you let him include 0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:06.360 that one little part where he say, speak now, will 0:16:06.400 --> 0:16:09.360 forever hold your peace. If you feel you know that 0:16:09.440 --> 0:16:12.280 these two shouldn't get married. I'm gonna say, Okay, listen, 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:16.120 I do I feel like they shouldn't. I feel like 0:16:16.120 --> 0:16:18.600 they shouldn't. I don't feel like they ready yet. And 0:16:18.600 --> 0:16:21.920 then the husband or the wife would be like, yes, 0:16:22.000 --> 0:16:24.280 I am, and then look at my best friend, like, 0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:26.320 why is your best friend stepping out of line saying 0:16:26.320 --> 0:16:29.560 this shit? And she gonna have to tell that nigga 0:16:29.720 --> 0:16:33.000 or tell that woman right there, because she knows something 0:16:33.160 --> 0:16:35.240 that the rest of you don't know. She knows something 0:16:35.240 --> 0:16:37.320 that you don't know. I'm cheating on you currently and 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:40.120 I didn't plan to stop. And so my best friend 0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:43.640 had a problem with that, and she's actually battling her 0:16:43.720 --> 0:16:48.200 morals standing here next to me today marrying you knowing 0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:51.920 damn well, I cheat and I'm not gonna stop. No, 0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:54.760 she may not say it like that shit. It ain't 0:16:54.800 --> 0:16:57.680 my place to tell him. It's definitely my place to object. 0:16:57.840 --> 0:17:00.880 It's your place to tell him. So yeah, while I'll 0:17:00.920 --> 0:17:03.680 be there with ringing bells, bright out and bushy tailed, 0:17:04.880 --> 0:17:10.040 supporting my girl, I'm going to give that objection. I 0:17:10.080 --> 0:17:12.600 don't think that she's ready. I do not think that 0:17:12.680 --> 0:17:16.840 she's ready. And I'm sorry. If she choose to be like, 0:17:16.880 --> 0:17:18.640 I don't know what she's talking about, I'm ready. I'll 0:17:18.680 --> 0:17:21.800 be like, all right, that's fine, and then I will 0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:27.159 step back in line. So niggas, no niggas, could just 0:17:27.280 --> 0:17:29.800 try to stop the shit. So that way that the 0:17:30.000 --> 0:17:33.240 voice won't look so ugly, the voice won't look like 0:17:33.280 --> 0:17:36.399 it just came out of fucking nowhere because Jes tried 0:17:36.480 --> 0:17:39.840 the warners. Period. Now we got a commercial, and if 0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:41.800 you click off of this podcast, I swear I'm gonna 0:17:41.800 --> 0:17:47.280 beat your ass. Listen. Now, I know a lot of 0:17:47.320 --> 0:17:49.200 my listeners are going to be like, Jess is lying. 0:17:49.240 --> 0:17:51.760 She is not about to stand up there against our 0:17:51.760 --> 0:17:54.720 best friend and say no bullshit like that. And da 0:17:54.800 --> 0:17:57.439 da da da da da da, and said, listen, you 0:17:57.520 --> 0:18:02.840 shitting me, You shitting me? At solutely understand as a 0:18:02.840 --> 0:18:05.560 best friend the position that you are put in. And 0:18:05.640 --> 0:18:07.760 I honestly feel like you should have a conversation with 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:10.359 your girls, she says, she I don't want to, she don't, 0:18:10.400 --> 0:18:13.399 she ain't gonna stop, don't be in a wedding. I 0:18:13.440 --> 0:18:16.119 honestly feel like that I just gave you what I 0:18:16.160 --> 0:18:19.879 would do and what I would do would probably embarrass 0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:24.520 her much more, you know, embarrass her furthermore. But it's 0:18:24.560 --> 0:18:27.119 better to get that shit out the way then then 0:18:27.200 --> 0:18:31.360 later on break this man's heart over something that could 0:18:31.400 --> 0:18:33.119 have been prevented, you know what I mean. I know 0:18:33.160 --> 0:18:36.359 the wedding is already probably paid for. She wants to 0:18:36.400 --> 0:18:38.400 have a cake and eat it too, and shit like that, 0:18:39.080 --> 0:18:43.439 and I know that. But you know, obviously you are 0:18:43.480 --> 0:18:49.120 a woman of deep morale, and you just don't. You don't. 0:18:49.160 --> 0:18:51.560 You don't like certain shit, you don't stand for certain shit. 0:18:51.680 --> 0:18:53.280 And I feel like as a woman, you're doing the 0:18:53.359 --> 0:18:55.560 right thing, and as a best friend you're doing an 0:18:55.600 --> 0:18:59.400 even wrter thing. Just have that conversation. This may put 0:18:59.400 --> 0:19:02.960 a wedge, drop a wedge between you and your best friend, 0:19:03.080 --> 0:19:05.720 but when it's for the greater good and the bigger picture, 0:19:05.800 --> 0:19:08.240 I don't see anything wrong with that. And if it 0:19:08.280 --> 0:19:11.119 ain't gonna physically hurt you or mentally hurt you or 0:19:11.160 --> 0:19:14.240 emotionally hurt you to lose a friend for a little while, 0:19:14.320 --> 0:19:17.840 I say, shit, don't go, don't be in it, or 0:19:17.840 --> 0:19:20.320 you can go, just don't be in it, you know 0:19:20.359 --> 0:19:22.840 what I mean, But definitely tell her how the fuck 0:19:22.880 --> 0:19:26.520 you feel. You definitely gotta tell her you can't just 0:19:26.920 --> 0:19:29.359 like say I don't want to be in a wedding 0:19:29.440 --> 0:19:31.800 and then she not know why, you know what I mean. 0:19:32.200 --> 0:19:35.040 Obviously she knows you have your reservations about this shit 0:19:35.640 --> 0:19:40.280 because you told me that. She said it would be 0:19:40.760 --> 0:19:43.720 raising red flags if you don't come. How the fuck 0:19:43.760 --> 0:19:45.800 would that be a red flag? To be honest with you, 0:19:45.880 --> 0:19:48.120 it'd just be me and my best friend fell out. 0:19:48.760 --> 0:19:51.359 Has your best friend ever come close to her husband 0:19:51.359 --> 0:19:54.040 finding out that she cheating my fiance finding out that 0:19:54.080 --> 0:19:56.800 she's cheating? And is it with multiple men? Is this 0:19:57.000 --> 0:19:59.679 like a mistress type of thing? Like does she have 0:19:59.720 --> 0:20:02.240 an go on the side or just one main nigga 0:20:02.280 --> 0:20:05.000 on the side? You know, I need to know. Is 0:20:05.040 --> 0:20:07.520 she just I don't know, does the husband the fiance 0:20:07.680 --> 0:20:11.040 have money? Is she marrying this nigga for security financial 0:20:11.040 --> 0:20:14.159 security and she just getting her little dick on the side, 0:20:14.400 --> 0:20:17.440 or you know, I need some more meat on the bone. 0:20:17.560 --> 0:20:21.359 I know you probably don't want your best friend to 0:20:21.400 --> 0:20:24.000 figure out that you're talking about her, but bababy, she 0:20:24.160 --> 0:20:26.800 probably already gonna know. You know, you brought this shit 0:20:26.880 --> 0:20:29.960 up to her obviously, and she's probably gonna know because 0:20:30.000 --> 0:20:33.600 she's probably an avid, carefully reckless listener. I also can't 0:20:33.640 --> 0:20:35.760 help but to point out the fact that you said 0:20:35.760 --> 0:20:37.520 I am not the only person that you gave this 0:20:37.600 --> 0:20:40.440 story to, because you really are torn. You need to know. 0:20:40.520 --> 0:20:43.840