Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio
Speaker 1: and the Black Effects, and just like that, we back
Speaker 1: on the air. Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless
Speaker 1: episode with Sugar just hilarious. Listen, y'all, it's been a
Speaker 1: lot going on. For those who don't know, I actually
Speaker 1: had the pleasure of hosting Joscelyn's Caboet season four reunion. Y'all,
Speaker 1: y'all gotta get into it. Make sure if y'all don't
Speaker 1: got zoos, make sure y'all download. Yeah, sure, I have
Speaker 1: to pay a prescription. It's like a subscription. Make sure
Speaker 1: y'all paid a suscription. Can watch y'all. Good old Sis
Speaker 1: host that reunion. It's something I've never ever done before.
Speaker 1: Now that this is the show where they be fighting,
Speaker 1: but it ain't like batties where you gotta fight to.
Speaker 2: Be on it.
Speaker 1: It's actually some good, enlightening shit like I'm proud of Joscelyn.
Speaker 1: I can't wait for y'all to see, because it's one
Speaker 1: thing that you expect about Jocelyn is to always see
Speaker 1: her beat the shit out of mind, and she actually
Speaker 1: shocked the fuck out of me. So I need y'all
Speaker 1: to go ahead and watch tune into that. That will
Speaker 1: be coming very soon, y'all. But we're gonna jump right
Speaker 1: into fixing the mess now. This is the lady from
Speaker 1: a few episodes back that she called herself checking me,
Speaker 1: you know, because I didn't know the laws and I
Speaker 1: guess the rights of bisexual women per se, so she
Speaker 1: called herself checking me. I did tell her that I
Speaker 1: knew everything that she was telling me, and that that
Speaker 1: still didn't change what I thought or what I said
Speaker 1: to the woman that I was giving the advice to.
Speaker 1: And this is what she has set back, because this
Speaker 1: was the woman that told me that she didn't even
Speaker 1: finish the whole episode because I basically I she didn't
Speaker 1: say I disgusted her, but she got upset so she
Speaker 1: couldn't even finish it. So how the fuck you're gonna
Speaker 1: come at me? You didn't even finish the fucking episode.
Speaker 1: But this is what she said. I haven't listened to it.
Speaker 1: This is my first time listening to it, just like
Speaker 1: it'll be y'all first time. So here we go, Jess.
Speaker 1: Hope your day has gone well.
Speaker 3: Yes, ma'am, I'm just hitting you up today just for
Speaker 3: two reasons firstly, to thank you for listening to my
Speaker 3: last messages to you and responding to them, responding to
Speaker 3: me directly and using it and the fix my mess
Speaker 3: for last week.
Speaker 2: It was very enlightening to be able to hear that.
Speaker 2: I didn't even know you would use it.
Speaker 3: So I just wanted to thank you once again just
Speaker 3: for taking the time, well ya your day, to even respond,
Speaker 3: you know, and get back with me on that about
Speaker 3: how I was feeling about that particular topic. So I
Speaker 3: thank you so much for that first off. And then
Speaker 3: also you told me not to contact you again. But
Speaker 3: I'm just honestly quite glad that you didn't lock me,
Speaker 3: which I expected, just so that I could have this
Speaker 3: opportunity to reach back out to you, and thank you
Speaker 3: once again for listening.
Speaker 2: I also want to I.
Speaker 1: Ain't gonna block you, girl. No, I ain't say I
Speaker 1: was gonna block you. I did tell you don't reach
Speaker 1: back out to me, now, y'all. I did say that,
Speaker 1: now that there is audio of me saying that. But
Speaker 1: I was just so upset because I'm like, damn, how
Speaker 1: you gonna come at me? Hear and even finished listening
Speaker 1: to what I said, I don't give biased advice if
Speaker 1: I and if I felt like I don't know that
Speaker 1: much on a topic, one thing I ain't gonna do
Speaker 1: is stick my feet of my mouth because I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know the ins and outs of everything that
Speaker 1: I'm asked, You know what I mean. But I only
Speaker 1: give advice on my own experience and my own wisdom,
Speaker 1: you know. So if it's anything I don't know, I
Speaker 1: will gladly tell you I can't help you, or it
Speaker 1: won't be on an episode because I'm not going to
Speaker 1: put your business out there if I can't advise you. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is also what she said.
Speaker 3: I also want to issue a formal apology to you
Speaker 3: for offending you.
Speaker 2: And I can't.
Speaker 3: Clearly tell by your response to me directly and when
Speaker 3: you were doing the fix my mess that I clearly
Speaker 3: offended you by trying to critique your advice to someone else.
Speaker 3: And I also want to thank you for mirroring back
Speaker 3: to me how important word choice is when you're trying
Speaker 3: to convey something in a conversation, because I clearly now
Speaker 3: recognize let me using the term check you in the
Speaker 3: beginning of the conversation. Yeah, definitely put everything in a
Speaker 3: more negative light and put you on the defense, rightfully,
Speaker 3: So just a little bit, just a little I feel
Speaker 3: like I definitely could have used the better term, because
Speaker 3: when I use the word check, I didn't mean that
Speaker 3: as in correction. I definitely did mean it as in.
Speaker 2: Education or just to try to give you another perspective.
Speaker 1: Yes, ma'am, see this is what grown women can do.
Speaker 1: I love this, Thank you girl, what I've seen done. Okay,
Speaker 1: one of her voice notes are not playing.
Speaker 2: But actually listen to all of it.
Speaker 3: It was about thirty four minutes, I believe, and stop
Speaker 3: when there was just nine minutes left. So when I
Speaker 3: got your response saying that I needed to listen to
Speaker 3: the rest of it, I want ahead and went back
Speaker 3: to it, and you know, it.
Speaker 2: Picked right back up where it was and I realized,
Speaker 2: you know, it was just nine minutes left.
Speaker 3: So the last part of what I heard was just you,
Speaker 3: you know, giving her more advice.
Speaker 1: Then you did the you know in your.
Speaker 2: Pam voice piece.
Speaker 3: The next set of advertisements came on, and then that
Speaker 3: was the end of it. So I actually did get
Speaker 3: the whole bulk message and that whole session.
Speaker 2: So my apologies for misquoting that as well.
Speaker 3: I actually had listened to the majority of it before
Speaker 3: I would had applied.
Speaker 2: Excuse me, replied, So.
Speaker 3: I can hopefullyly understand how you thinking I only meant
Speaker 3: because of my misspeaking, You thinking that I had only
Speaker 3: listened to nine minutes and then trying to judge everything.
Speaker 3: I would have been off put by that as well,
Speaker 3: So I absolutely get it.
Speaker 2: So I just wanted to correct.
Speaker 1: That one point right there, right there, there you go
Speaker 1: with the jail right there.
Speaker 2: And then to answer your question.
Speaker 3: So you asked when what I mentioned being triggered, Let
Speaker 3: me also explain what I meant by that. I did
Speaker 3: not mean about that specific situation.
Speaker 2: I meant in more general terms.
Speaker 3: It just seems like in society today, in past and present,
Speaker 3: that US women get blamed for a lot that the
Speaker 3: men do and not a lot of accountability is placed
Speaker 3: on the man. There's a lot of double standards, I mean,
Speaker 3: and I know you see it. You see every day
Speaker 3: in social media, the different posts that come about different
Speaker 3: podcast conversations between opposite sexes. It just seems like women
Speaker 3: can never do right, you know what I'm saying, And
Speaker 3: that's what I was triggered by, not by this particular situation.
Speaker 3: Just those double standards and how us women have to
Speaker 3: take so much on the chin and in my reality
Speaker 3: and my.
Speaker 1: You know, I wonder why all her voice notes are
Speaker 1: not playing. Sister is frustrating me because she heard some
Speaker 1: good things to say.
Speaker 2: So that's basically it.
Speaker 3: I mean, there were some other things that you mentioned,
Speaker 3: but you did mention that you did not want to
Speaker 3: get into it back and forth, so I'm just gonna
Speaker 3: let those things go by the wayside. We can agree
Speaker 3: to disagree on this particular topic, but please know that
Speaker 3: it's not going to stop me from listening to your
Speaker 3: fix my message. I still love them. I still love
Speaker 3: you and thank you for everything that you do. And
Speaker 3: please know I was not at all offended by anything
Speaker 3: that you said or anything thank you you said in
Speaker 3: response to me at all, not at all, thank you.
Speaker 3: I like to debate.
Speaker 1: I've been on.
Speaker 3: The debate team in schools and things like that, so
Speaker 3: that conversation, even though we weren't talking directly back and
Speaker 3: forth to one another, I felt like that what was
Speaker 3: going on, and that feeds me. So I wholeheartedly appreciated,
Speaker 3: never took offense to anything, and I still love you
Speaker 3: just the same, just the same. Last thing I want
Speaker 3: to say is and then I'll get off her because
Speaker 3: I need to eat lunch. The last thing I want
Speaker 3: to say is you may not be aware, but I'm
Speaker 3: sure you can see my picture when I write you,
Speaker 3: I do look very youthful.
Speaker 2: So I don't know.
Speaker 1: Yes you do.
Speaker 3: Responding to me as baby girl is meant in.
Speaker 1: A oh no no.
Speaker 3: But I'm actually a few years older than you, so
Speaker 3: I just wanted to point that out.
Speaker 2: That's it.
Speaker 3: But once again, Jess, you are awesome. Keep doing what
Speaker 3: you do, my sister. You are a voice for the people.
Speaker 3: I love your platform. I will continue to listen, and
Speaker 3: I hope you have a beautiful, blessed day.
Speaker 1: Love. Okay, Hey mss ma'am. No, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I literally call if you listen all the time like
Speaker 1: you say you do, I say baby, I call a
Speaker 1: lot of my women baby girl, just because I don't
Speaker 1: know the ages that you women are. Yes, you do
Speaker 1: look a lot youthful. You look you look very very youthful,
Speaker 1: and you're a photo very nice and curvy too. But yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, you know, little petite, slim little thing, but yeah,
Speaker 1: you do look young. So that that's the only reason
Speaker 1: that I call you baby girl, not to be smart.
Speaker 1: I ain't one of those. To be a baby girl,
Speaker 1: a sweetie. Uh yea, no, not to be smart. No,
Speaker 1: I'm not. I literally wasn't. I do want to thank you,
Speaker 1: and I appreciate you being vulnerable enough to actually reach
Speaker 1: back out after me saying don't be you know, don't
Speaker 1: reach back out to me and all of that. I
Speaker 1: was just very upset because I was like, no, she
Speaker 1: did not call herself checking me. Yes, it does put
Speaker 1: a negative connotation on things when you say things, so
Speaker 1: I'm checking you. You know what I mean. Just these days,
Speaker 1: wordplay is so it can mean so many different things.
Speaker 1: If you're not directly talking to a person one on one,
Speaker 1: anything can get misconstrued or missing turn or anything. When
Speaker 1: you're sending voice notes. So when you're sending text messages,
Speaker 1: like if you're not in the same like area as
Speaker 1: a person, if you're not talking one on one, she
Speaker 1: can kind of get lost in translation. You know, people
Speaker 1: can assume things. I'm so happy that you were not
Speaker 1: offended by anything I said. I'm so happy that you
Speaker 1: did hit me back. Guys, I did send her a
Speaker 1: message that I did not preview you guys too, because
Speaker 1: I felt like that was for me and her and
Speaker 1: not for you guys. Basically, just you know, telling her
Speaker 1: that you know, I hurt my feelings. I ain't think
Speaker 1: that she you know, she critiqued me and came at
Speaker 1: me and all of that, you know, check me, But
Speaker 1: she ain't listened to the whole thing. And and see,
Speaker 1: this is why communication is good as well. I didn't
Speaker 1: know that she listened to twenty one minutes of it.
Speaker 1: She didn't listen to nine minutes. I thought she said
Speaker 1: she listened to only nine minutes of it. So yes,
Speaker 1: but I appreciate you girl. Keep on going back and
Speaker 1: forth with me, and if you got any more mess
Speaker 1: for me to fix, let me know. Hold up, hold up,
Speaker 1: I noticed shit getting good. But listen to just a
Speaker 1: couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen,
Speaker 1: all right. Moving on to the next story, here we go. Hey, Jess,
Speaker 1: am I wrong? So my best friend of fifteen years
Speaker 1: just got engaged and she asked me to be her
Speaker 1: maid of honor. I respectfully declined because I know that
Speaker 1: she's cheating on her now fiance and has no plans
Speaker 1: of stopping. Damn. I told her I can't support her
Speaker 1: nor attend the wedding. She said, if I don't come,
Speaker 1: it will raise red flags? Am I wrong? Or should
Speaker 1: I stand my ground? M all right? So look check
Speaker 1: this out right. What I think is this is a
Speaker 1: very complex story, and this can tear you as a
Speaker 1: best friend and then as a woman, because as a woman,
Speaker 1: you standing on dignity, you standing on integrity, you standing
Speaker 1: on morals. You know what I'm saying, and what you
Speaker 1: believe in. What you believe is that when you're marrying somebody,
Speaker 1: you have to be faithful. And upon getting married, you're
Speaker 1: you're writing your vows. This is a covenant, you know,
Speaker 1: of commitment that we're about to you know, signed before God.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. Aka, this is a contract, nigga.
Speaker 1: You can't you can't fuck this up. Basically, and in
Speaker 1: God's eyes, this is a sacred contract, a covenant of
Speaker 1: commitment to be together forever, for better or for worse.
Speaker 1: This bitch is already a how worse? God damn. So basically,
Speaker 1: your best friend is cheating on her husband, on her
Speaker 1: soon to be husband, who's now you know, her fiance.
Speaker 1: You don't want to attend the wedding because it goes
Speaker 1: against what you believe, which is you have to be
Speaker 1: faithful within your vowels, within your relationship, within your marriage.
Speaker 1: But you know she ain't gonna stop cheating, so you like,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't even want to be a part
Speaker 1: of this shit. Hmmm. As a woman, you are doing
Speaker 1: the right thing. As a best friend, you are doing
Speaker 1: the right thing. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. If it were
Speaker 1: me and my best friend was going up to be
Speaker 1: married and I knew she was cheating on her husband
Speaker 1: or her wife, you know, because my best friend is gay,
Speaker 1: I don't. I would say I'm not gonna lie. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't not be in the wedding just because my bond
Speaker 1: with my best friend trumps everything. Like it, I put
Speaker 1: my bond with her over everything. My best friend is
Speaker 1: my girl, like that's my ride or die. And y'all
Speaker 1: know how much I hate that term, that phrase ride
Speaker 1: or god. No, this is my real life of a
Speaker 1: half type best friendshit. Like best friend is used very
Speaker 1: loosely these days. The term friend in general is used
Speaker 1: very loosely these days. I feel like to defined friend
Speaker 1: that that gotta be. Man, you're confidant the person that
Speaker 1: tells you when you're wrong, the person that you run
Speaker 1: to for advice, the person that runs to you for advice,
Speaker 1: person that that loves you in and out, that loves
Speaker 1: you no matter what you got in your bank account,
Speaker 1: that loves you no matter what obstacles are throwing your way,
Speaker 1: and ship like that's that's a friend. That's a friend,
Speaker 1: And a person that holds you down man, no matter
Speaker 1: what you're going through. A person that spots you, that
Speaker 1: can see when something is wrong. A person that doesn't
Speaker 1: ignore you, that sees you for who you are, no
Speaker 1: matter what what's going on, whether that's good or bad.
Speaker 1: They wish you in your times of ups as they're
Speaker 1: with you in your times of down. So that's what
Speaker 1: a friend is for me. That's what a That's what
Speaker 1: a best friend is that I just described. And her
Speaker 1: cheating on her fiance still would not make me decline
Speaker 1: being her maid of honor at her wedding. Now, will
Speaker 1: there be a conversation put in place prior to the
Speaker 1: wedding and what I think she should do, what I
Speaker 1: feel she's up against, and how bad I feel as
Speaker 1: a woman standing up there knowing what you're doing knowing
Speaker 1: that you are already breaking your vows, knowing that you're
Speaker 1: up here living a fucking lie. You're living in sin
Speaker 1: before God and your wife and you know, and or husband.
Speaker 1: Whatever that's gonna bother me, It's not gonna bother me
Speaker 1: to the point where I'm gonna say, I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: be in a wedding. But hmm, it will bother me
Speaker 1: a great deal, Yes it would. But she would definitely
Speaker 1: know how I feel before she walked down that out,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, whether she still want to
Speaker 1: go with it or not, whether she gonna keep it
Speaker 1: real with her damn self or not. To be honest,
Speaker 1: I would object. I'm not gonna lie. I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: one of them to object. I Am not going to
Speaker 1: not be there again. I want to stress this. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna not stand there as I'm maid of honor.
Speaker 1: But what I'm going to do is tell her what
Speaker 1: the plan is. Look, I'm gonna stand up there with you.
Speaker 1: But if you let that preacher or pastor whoever or
Speaker 1: whoever is marrying you, guys, if you let him include
Speaker 1: that one little part where he say, speak now, will
Speaker 1: forever hold your peace. If you feel you know that
Speaker 1: these two shouldn't get married. I'm gonna say, Okay, listen,
Speaker 1: I do I feel like they shouldn't. I feel like
Speaker 1: they shouldn't. I don't feel like they ready yet. And
Speaker 1: then the husband or the wife would be like, yes,
Speaker 1: I am, and then look at my best friend, like,
Speaker 1: why is your best friend stepping out of line saying
Speaker 1: this shit? And she gonna have to tell that nigga
Speaker 1: or tell that woman right there, because she knows something
Speaker 1: that the rest of you don't know. She knows something
Speaker 1: that you don't know. I'm cheating on you currently and
Speaker 1: I didn't plan to stop. And so my best friend
Speaker 1: had a problem with that, and she's actually battling her
Speaker 1: morals standing here next to me today marrying you knowing
Speaker 1: damn well, I cheat and I'm not gonna stop. No,
Speaker 1: she may not say it like that shit. It ain't
Speaker 1: my place to tell him. It's definitely my place to object.
Speaker 1: It's your place to tell him. So yeah, while I'll
Speaker 1: be there with ringing bells, bright out and bushy tailed,
Speaker 1: supporting my girl, I'm going to give that objection. I
Speaker 1: don't think that she's ready. I do not think that
Speaker 1: she's ready. And I'm sorry. If she choose to be like,
Speaker 1: I don't know what she's talking about, I'm ready. I'll
Speaker 1: be like, all right, that's fine, and then I will
Speaker 1: step back in line. So niggas, no niggas, could just
Speaker 1: try to stop the shit. So that way that the
Speaker 1: voice won't look so ugly, the voice won't look like
Speaker 1: it just came out of fucking nowhere because Jes tried
Speaker 1: the warners. Period. Now we got a commercial, and if
Speaker 1: you click off of this podcast, I swear I'm gonna
Speaker 1: beat your ass. Listen. Now, I know a lot of
Speaker 1: my listeners are going to be like, Jess is lying.
Speaker 1: She is not about to stand up there against our
Speaker 1: best friend and say no bullshit like that. And da
Speaker 1: da da da da da da, and said, listen, you
Speaker 1: shitting me, You shitting me? At solutely understand as a
Speaker 1: best friend the position that you are put in. And
Speaker 1: I honestly feel like you should have a conversation with
Speaker 1: your girls, she says, she I don't want to, she don't,
Speaker 1: she ain't gonna stop, don't be in a wedding. I
Speaker 1: honestly feel like that I just gave you what I
Speaker 1: would do and what I would do would probably embarrass
Speaker 1: her much more, you know, embarrass her furthermore. But it's
Speaker 1: better to get that shit out the way then then
Speaker 1: later on break this man's heart over something that could
Speaker 1: have been prevented, you know what I mean. I know
Speaker 1: the wedding is already probably paid for. She wants to
Speaker 1: have a cake and eat it too, and shit like that,
Speaker 1: and I know that. But you know, obviously you are
Speaker 1: a woman of deep morale, and you just don't. You don't.
Speaker 1: You don't like certain shit, you don't stand for certain shit.
Speaker 1: And I feel like as a woman, you're doing the
Speaker 1: right thing, and as a best friend you're doing an
Speaker 1: even wrter thing. Just have that conversation. This may put
Speaker 1: a wedge, drop a wedge between you and your best friend,
Speaker 1: but when it's for the greater good and the bigger picture,
Speaker 1: I don't see anything wrong with that. And if it
Speaker 1: ain't gonna physically hurt you or mentally hurt you or
Speaker 1: emotionally hurt you to lose a friend for a little while,
Speaker 1: I say, shit, don't go, don't be in it, or
Speaker 1: you can go, just don't be in it, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, But definitely tell her how the fuck
Speaker 1: you feel. You definitely gotta tell her you can't just
Speaker 1: like say I don't want to be in a wedding
Speaker 1: and then she not know why, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Obviously she knows you have your reservations about this shit
Speaker 1: because you told me that. She said it would be
Speaker 1: raising red flags if you don't come. How the fuck
Speaker 1: would that be a red flag? To be honest with you,
Speaker 1: it'd just be me and my best friend fell out.
Speaker 1: Has your best friend ever come close to her husband
Speaker 1: finding out that she cheating my fiance finding out that
Speaker 1: she's cheating? And is it with multiple men? Is this
Speaker 1: like a mistress type of thing? Like does she have
Speaker 1: an go on the side or just one main nigga
Speaker 1: on the side? You know, I need to know. Is
Speaker 1: she just I don't know, does the husband the fiance
Speaker 1: have money? Is she marrying this nigga for security financial
Speaker 1: security and she just getting her little dick on the side,
Speaker 1: or you know, I need some more meat on the bone.
Speaker 1: I know you probably don't want your best friend to
Speaker 1: figure out that you're talking about her, but bababy, she
Speaker 1: probably already gonna know. You know, you brought this shit
Speaker 1: up to her obviously, and she's probably gonna know because
Speaker 1: she's probably an avid, carefully reckless listener. I also can't
Speaker 1: help but to point out the fact that you said
Speaker 1: I am not the only person that you gave this
Speaker 1: story to, because you really are torn. You need to know.
Speaker 1: You want to know what you should do. Oh man,
Speaker 1: but that's that's what I think.
Speaker 2: You should do.
Speaker 1: Baby. Just be honest and just get back timmy. Tell
Speaker 1: me how the shit go. When is the wedding and shit,
Speaker 1: I might pop out and object. You never know if
Speaker 1: it don't if you don't want it to be you,
Speaker 1: how about you go and I go and shit. And
Speaker 1: then when they say, oh, if anybody objects, I can
Speaker 1: say object because I know that she cheating on this
Speaker 1: man and I don't want him to find out later.
Speaker 1: So better now or whatever? Does anybody else want to
Speaker 1: get married? So these people money don't go to waste
Speaker 1: on these decorations. And then we'll see how that go.
Speaker 1: But just let me know, baby girl. And just like that,
Speaker 1: we have done this episode. We've come to the end
Speaker 1: of yet another carefully reckless with your girl just hilarious.
Speaker 1: And what I be doing, I'll be fixing mess like
Speaker 1: how I be doing. So if you got messed that
Speaker 1: you want me to fix. Whether you want me to
Speaker 1: fix it on Carefully Reckless, on a Black Effect, shout
Speaker 1: out to I Heeart, or on Breakfast Club, make sure
Speaker 1: you hit me up in the Carefully Reckless podcast dm
Speaker 1: sending me a story now. You can send it via
Speaker 1: voice note, or you can type a long gas paragraph,
Speaker 1: but make sure you do punctuations correct, because if it's
Speaker 1: a long run on sentence, I ain't gonna read it.
Speaker 1: I'm getting tired of trying to fix y'all broken english
Speaker 1: and shit broken literature. Ya want. I don't want my
Speaker 1: nigga to know my voice. Well, bitch, you need to
Speaker 1: go take a punctuation class. You need to go take
Speaker 1: an English class over and figure out how to write.
Speaker 1: If I gotta read it, your mess ain't gonna never
Speaker 1: get fixed. All right, it is what it is, and
Speaker 1: in my deepest pan voice, see you next week. Can'tfully
Speaker 1: Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect.
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.