1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,159
Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio

2
00:00:03,279 --> 00:00:17,160
Speaker 1: and the Black Effects, and just like that, we back

3
00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:19,640
Speaker 1: on the air. Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless

4
00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:23,520
Speaker 1: episode with Sugar just hilarious. Listen, y'all, it's been a

5
00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:26,880
Speaker 1: lot going on. For those who don't know, I actually

6
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:34,320
Speaker 1: had the pleasure of hosting Joscelyn's Caboet season four reunion. Y'all,

7
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,720
Speaker 1: y'all gotta get into it. Make sure if y'all don't

8
00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:39,440
Speaker 1: got zoos, make sure y'all download. Yeah, sure, I have

9
00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:44,479
Speaker 1: to pay a prescription. It's like a subscription. Make sure

10
00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:47,000
Speaker 1: y'all paid a suscription. Can watch y'all. Good old Sis

11
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,480
Speaker 1: host that reunion. It's something I've never ever done before.

12
00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:51,519
Speaker 1: Now that this is the show where they be fighting,

13
00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:53,880
Speaker 1: but it ain't like batties where you gotta fight to.

14
00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:54,440
Speaker 2: Be on it.

15
00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:57,880
Speaker 1: It's actually some good, enlightening shit like I'm proud of Joscelyn.

16
00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:00,240
Speaker 1: I can't wait for y'all to see, because it's one

17
00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:02,760
Speaker 1: thing that you expect about Jocelyn is to always see

18
00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:04,880
Speaker 1: her beat the shit out of mind, and she actually

19
00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:06,479
Speaker 1: shocked the fuck out of me. So I need y'all

20
00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:09,039
Speaker 1: to go ahead and watch tune into that. That will

21
00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:11,720
Speaker 1: be coming very soon, y'all. But we're gonna jump right

22
00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:16,760
Speaker 1: into fixing the mess now. This is the lady from

23
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:20,080
Speaker 1: a few episodes back that she called herself checking me,

24
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:23,520
Speaker 1: you know, because I didn't know the laws and I

25
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:27,679
Speaker 1: guess the rights of bisexual women per se, so she

26
00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:29,840
Speaker 1: called herself checking me. I did tell her that I

27
00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:31,720
Speaker 1: knew everything that she was telling me, and that that

28
00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:35,840
Speaker 1: still didn't change what I thought or what I said

29
00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:37,760
Speaker 1: to the woman that I was giving the advice to.

30
00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:41,039
Speaker 1: And this is what she has set back, because this

31
00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:42,520
Speaker 1: was the woman that told me that she didn't even

32
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,759
Speaker 1: finish the whole episode because I basically I she didn't

33
00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:47,720
Speaker 1: say I disgusted her, but she got upset so she

34
00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:50,080
Speaker 1: couldn't even finish it. So how the fuck you're gonna

35
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:51,920
Speaker 1: come at me? You didn't even finish the fucking episode.

36
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,040
Speaker 1: But this is what she said. I haven't listened to it.

37
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,600
Speaker 1: This is my first time listening to it, just like

38
00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:59,160
Speaker 1: it'll be y'all first time. So here we go, Jess.

39
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:01,440
Speaker 1: Hope your day has gone well.

40
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:04,920
Speaker 3: Yes, ma'am, I'm just hitting you up today just for

41
00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:09,480
Speaker 3: two reasons firstly, to thank you for listening to my

42
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:13,840
Speaker 3: last messages to you and responding to them, responding to

43
00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:17,000
Speaker 3: me directly and using it and the fix my mess

44
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:17,680
Speaker 3: for last week.

45
00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:20,919
Speaker 2: It was very enlightening to be able to hear that.

46
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:22,840
Speaker 2: I didn't even know you would use it.

47
00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:24,880
Speaker 3: So I just wanted to thank you once again just

48
00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:29,160
Speaker 3: for taking the time, well ya your day, to even respond,

49
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:33,000
Speaker 3: you know, and get back with me on that about

50
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,960
Speaker 3: how I was feeling about that particular topic. So I

51
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,280
Speaker 3: thank you so much for that first off. And then

52
00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:42,440
Speaker 3: also you told me not to contact you again. But

53
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:45,240
Speaker 3: I'm just honestly quite glad that you didn't lock me,

54
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:48,400
Speaker 3: which I expected, just so that I could have this

55
00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:51,400
Speaker 3: opportunity to reach back out to you, and thank you

56
00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:52,680
Speaker 3: once again for listening.

57
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,840
Speaker 2: I also want to I.

58
00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,800
Speaker 1: Ain't gonna block you, girl. No, I ain't say I

59
00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:00,359
Speaker 1: was gonna block you. I did tell you don't reach

60
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,400
Speaker 1: back out to me, now, y'all. I did say that,

61
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:06,600
Speaker 1: now that there is audio of me saying that. But

62
00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,040
Speaker 1: I was just so upset because I'm like, damn, how

63
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,040
Speaker 1: you gonna come at me? Hear and even finished listening

64
00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:14,000
Speaker 1: to what I said, I don't give biased advice if

65
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,720
Speaker 1: I and if I felt like I don't know that

66
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:19,120
Speaker 1: much on a topic, one thing I ain't gonna do

67
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:21,000
Speaker 1: is stick my feet of my mouth because I don't know.

68
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,040
Speaker 1: I don't know the ins and outs of everything that

69
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,240
Speaker 1: I'm asked, You know what I mean. But I only

70
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:29,440
Speaker 1: give advice on my own experience and my own wisdom,

71
00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:31,600
Speaker 1: you know. So if it's anything I don't know, I

72
00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:34,920
Speaker 1: will gladly tell you I can't help you, or it

73
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:36,640
Speaker 1: won't be on an episode because I'm not going to

74
00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:39,880
Speaker 1: put your business out there if I can't advise you. So, yeah,

75
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:41,560
Speaker 1: this is also what she said.

76
00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:45,600
Speaker 3: I also want to issue a formal apology to you

77
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:47,320
Speaker 3: for offending you.

78
00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:49,080
Speaker 2: And I can't.

79
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:52,240
Speaker 3: Clearly tell by your response to me directly and when

80
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:55,640
Speaker 3: you were doing the fix my mess that I clearly

81
00:03:56,120 --> 00:04:01,320
Speaker 3: offended you by trying to critique your advice to someone else.

82
00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:04,920
Speaker 3: And I also want to thank you for mirroring back

83
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:08,600
Speaker 3: to me how important word choice is when you're trying

84
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:12,440
Speaker 3: to convey something in a conversation, because I clearly now

85
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:16,600
Speaker 3: recognize let me using the term check you in the

86
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:20,640
Speaker 3: beginning of the conversation. Yeah, definitely put everything in a

87
00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:24,320
Speaker 3: more negative light and put you on the defense, rightfully,

88
00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:26,559
Speaker 3: So just a little bit, just a little I feel

89
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:31,240
Speaker 3: like I definitely could have used the better term, because

90
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:33,640
Speaker 3: when I use the word check, I didn't mean that

91
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,680
Speaker 3: as in correction. I definitely did mean it as in.

92
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:40,680
Speaker 2: Education or just to try to give you another perspective.

93
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:44,520
Speaker 1: Yes, ma'am, see this is what grown women can do.

94
00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:50,640
Speaker 1: I love this, Thank you girl, what I've seen done. Okay,

95
00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:52,560
Speaker 1: one of her voice notes are not playing.

96
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,560
Speaker 2: But actually listen to all of it.

97
00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:58,799
Speaker 3: It was about thirty four minutes, I believe, and stop

98
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:02,000
Speaker 3: when there was just nine minutes left. So when I

99
00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,960
Speaker 3: got your response saying that I needed to listen to

100
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,800
Speaker 3: the rest of it, I want ahead and went back

101
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:06,880
Speaker 3: to it, and you know, it.

102
00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:09,320
Speaker 2: Picked right back up where it was and I realized,

103
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:10,680
Speaker 2: you know, it was just nine minutes left.

104
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,680
Speaker 3: So the last part of what I heard was just you,

105
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,000
Speaker 3: you know, giving her more advice.

106
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,520
Speaker 1: Then you did the you know in your.

107
00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:17,520
Speaker 2: Pam voice piece.

108
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:22,080
Speaker 3: The next set of advertisements came on, and then that

109
00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:23,800
Speaker 3: was the end of it. So I actually did get

110
00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:27,520
Speaker 3: the whole bulk message and that whole session.

111
00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:30,240
Speaker 2: So my apologies for misquoting that as well.

112
00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:33,360
Speaker 3: I actually had listened to the majority of it before

113
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:34,640
Speaker 3: I would had applied.

114
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,760
Speaker 2: Excuse me, replied, So.

115
00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:40,120
Speaker 3: I can hopefullyly understand how you thinking I only meant

116
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:43,480
Speaker 3: because of my misspeaking, You thinking that I had only

117
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,760
Speaker 3: listened to nine minutes and then trying to judge everything.

118
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,600
Speaker 3: I would have been off put by that as well,

119
00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,359
Speaker 3: So I absolutely get it.

120
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,440
Speaker 2: So I just wanted to correct.

121
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:54,560
Speaker 1: That one point right there, right there, there you go

122
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,080
Speaker 1: with the jail right there.

123
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:57,599
Speaker 2: And then to answer your question.

124
00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:02,720
Speaker 3: So you asked when what I mentioned being triggered, Let

125
00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,599
Speaker 3: me also explain what I meant by that. I did

126
00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:09,280
Speaker 3: not mean about that specific situation.

127
00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:11,480
Speaker 2: I meant in more general terms.

128
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:16,480
Speaker 3: It just seems like in society today, in past and present,

129
00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,680
Speaker 3: that US women get blamed for a lot that the

130
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:24,600
Speaker 3: men do and not a lot of accountability is placed

131
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:28,200
Speaker 3: on the man. There's a lot of double standards, I mean,

132
00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:30,120
Speaker 3: and I know you see it. You see every day

133
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:33,520
Speaker 3: in social media, the different posts that come about different

134
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:38,360
Speaker 3: podcast conversations between opposite sexes. It just seems like women

135
00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,760
Speaker 3: can never do right, you know what I'm saying, And

136
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,839
Speaker 3: that's what I was triggered by, not by this particular situation.

137
00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:48,000
Speaker 3: Just those double standards and how us women have to

138
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:51,520
Speaker 3: take so much on the chin and in my reality

139
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:51,920
Speaker 3: and my.

140
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:57,120
Speaker 1: You know, I wonder why all her voice notes are

141
00:06:57,160 --> 00:07:02,520
Speaker 1: not playing. Sister is frustrating me because she heard some

142
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,080
Speaker 1: good things to say.

143
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:06,479
Speaker 2: So that's basically it.

144
00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,480
Speaker 3: I mean, there were some other things that you mentioned,

145
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,600
Speaker 3: but you did mention that you did not want to

146
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,320
Speaker 3: get into it back and forth, so I'm just gonna

147
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:15,760
Speaker 3: let those things go by the wayside. We can agree

148
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:18,640
Speaker 3: to disagree on this particular topic, but please know that

149
00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:22,160
Speaker 3: it's not going to stop me from listening to your

150
00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:25,440
Speaker 3: fix my message. I still love them. I still love

151
00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:30,160
Speaker 3: you and thank you for everything that you do. And

152
00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:34,040
Speaker 3: please know I was not at all offended by anything

153
00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:36,560
Speaker 3: that you said or anything thank you you said in

154
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:39,120
Speaker 3: response to me at all, not at all, thank you.

155
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:40,480
Speaker 3: I like to debate.

156
00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:41,360
Speaker 1: I've been on.

157
00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:43,680
Speaker 3: The debate team in schools and things like that, so

158
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,440
Speaker 3: that conversation, even though we weren't talking directly back and

159
00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:49,400
Speaker 3: forth to one another, I felt like that what was

160
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:53,640
Speaker 3: going on, and that feeds me. So I wholeheartedly appreciated,

161
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,760
Speaker 3: never took offense to anything, and I still love you

162
00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:00,480
Speaker 3: just the same, just the same. Last thing I want

163
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:03,240
Speaker 3: to say is and then I'll get off her because

164
00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:06,920
Speaker 3: I need to eat lunch. The last thing I want

165
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:09,840
Speaker 3: to say is you may not be aware, but I'm

166
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:11,520
Speaker 3: sure you can see my picture when I write you,

167
00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,320
Speaker 3: I do look very youthful.

168
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:13,960
Speaker 2: So I don't know.

169
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:14,920
Speaker 1: Yes you do.

170
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:18,520
Speaker 3: Responding to me as baby girl is meant in.

171
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:21,480
Speaker 1: A oh no no.

172
00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:24,120
Speaker 3: But I'm actually a few years older than you, so

173
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:25,600
Speaker 3: I just wanted to point that out.

174
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:26,400
Speaker 2: That's it.

175
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:29,640
Speaker 3: But once again, Jess, you are awesome. Keep doing what

176
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:33,000
Speaker 3: you do, my sister. You are a voice for the people.

177
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,920
Speaker 3: I love your platform. I will continue to listen, and

178
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:37,719
Speaker 3: I hope you have a beautiful, blessed day.

179
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:42,840
Speaker 1: Love. Okay, Hey mss ma'am. No, no, no, no, no, no,

180
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:46,760
Speaker 1: I literally call if you listen all the time like

181
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:50,560
Speaker 1: you say you do, I say baby, I call a

182
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:53,880
Speaker 1: lot of my women baby girl, just because I don't

183
00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:58,600
Speaker 1: know the ages that you women are. Yes, you do

184
00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:03,439
Speaker 1: look a lot youthful. You look you look very very youthful,

185
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:08,760
Speaker 1: and you're a photo very nice and curvy too. But yeah,

186
00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:12,840
Speaker 1: you know, you know, little petite, slim little thing, but yeah,

187
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:16,680
Speaker 1: you do look young. So that that's the only reason

188
00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:18,800
Speaker 1: that I call you baby girl, not to be smart.

189
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,040
Speaker 1: I ain't one of those. To be a baby girl,

190
00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:23,960
Speaker 1: a sweetie. Uh yea, no, not to be smart. No,

191
00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:28,160
Speaker 1: I'm not. I literally wasn't. I do want to thank you,

192
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:32,200
Speaker 1: and I appreciate you being vulnerable enough to actually reach

193
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:37,439
Speaker 1: back out after me saying don't be you know, don't

194
00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:38,920
Speaker 1: reach back out to me and all of that. I

195
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:40,920
Speaker 1: was just very upset because I was like, no, she

196
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,680
Speaker 1: did not call herself checking me. Yes, it does put

197
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,800
Speaker 1: a negative connotation on things when you say things, so

198
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,240
Speaker 1: I'm checking you. You know what I mean. Just these days,

199
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:53,360
Speaker 1: wordplay is so it can mean so many different things.

200
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:57,120
Speaker 1: If you're not directly talking to a person one on one,

201
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,160
Speaker 1: anything can get misconstrued or missing turn or anything. When

202
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,880
Speaker 1: you're sending voice notes. So when you're sending text messages,

203
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:08,679
Speaker 1: like if you're not in the same like area as

204
00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:11,000
Speaker 1: a person, if you're not talking one on one, she

205
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,200
Speaker 1: can kind of get lost in translation. You know, people

206
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:16,560
Speaker 1: can assume things. I'm so happy that you were not

207
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:18,800
Speaker 1: offended by anything I said. I'm so happy that you

208
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,280
Speaker 1: did hit me back. Guys, I did send her a

209
00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:23,720
Speaker 1: message that I did not preview you guys too, because

210
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,880
Speaker 1: I felt like that was for me and her and

211
00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:30,199
Speaker 1: not for you guys. Basically, just you know, telling her

212
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,240
Speaker 1: that you know, I hurt my feelings. I ain't think

213
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,199
Speaker 1: that she you know, she critiqued me and came at

214
00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:35,720
Speaker 1: me and all of that, you know, check me, But

215
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:38,320
Speaker 1: she ain't listened to the whole thing. And and see,

216
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,200
Speaker 1: this is why communication is good as well. I didn't

217
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,440
Speaker 1: know that she listened to twenty one minutes of it.

218
00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,520
Speaker 1: She didn't listen to nine minutes. I thought she said

219
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,480
Speaker 1: she listened to only nine minutes of it. So yes,

220
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,880
Speaker 1: but I appreciate you girl. Keep on going back and

221
00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:52,360
Speaker 1: forth with me, and if you got any more mess

222
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:55,400
Speaker 1: for me to fix, let me know. Hold up, hold up,

223
00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:57,520
Speaker 1: I noticed shit getting good. But listen to just a

224
00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,000
Speaker 1: couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen,

225
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:05,640
Speaker 1: all right. Moving on to the next story, here we go. Hey, Jess,

226
00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:08,160
Speaker 1: am I wrong? So my best friend of fifteen years

227
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,280
Speaker 1: just got engaged and she asked me to be her

228
00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:13,520
Speaker 1: maid of honor. I respectfully declined because I know that

229
00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:16,280
Speaker 1: she's cheating on her now fiance and has no plans

230
00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:20,199
Speaker 1: of stopping. Damn. I told her I can't support her

231
00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:23,199
Speaker 1: nor attend the wedding. She said, if I don't come,

232
00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:26,800
Speaker 1: it will raise red flags? Am I wrong? Or should

233
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:31,280
Speaker 1: I stand my ground? M all right? So look check

234
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,920
Speaker 1: this out right. What I think is this is a

235
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:37,480
Speaker 1: very complex story, and this can tear you as a

236
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,600
Speaker 1: best friend and then as a woman, because as a woman,

237
00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:42,480
Speaker 1: you standing on dignity, you standing on integrity, you standing

238
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:45,040
Speaker 1: on morals. You know what I'm saying, and what you

239
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:49,560
Speaker 1: believe in. What you believe is that when you're marrying somebody,

240
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:52,800
Speaker 1: you have to be faithful. And upon getting married, you're

241
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:56,480
Speaker 1: you're writing your vows. This is a covenant, you know,

242
00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:02,240
Speaker 1: of commitment that we're about to you know, signed before God.

243
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:05,400
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. Aka, this is a contract, nigga.

244
00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:08,600
Speaker 1: You can't you can't fuck this up. Basically, and in

245
00:12:08,679 --> 00:12:13,760
Speaker 1: God's eyes, this is a sacred contract, a covenant of

246
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:16,680
Speaker 1: commitment to be together forever, for better or for worse.

247
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:22,640
Speaker 1: This bitch is already a how worse? God damn. So basically,

248
00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:26,000
Speaker 1: your best friend is cheating on her husband, on her

249
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,320
Speaker 1: soon to be husband, who's now you know, her fiance.

250
00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:31,760
Speaker 1: You don't want to attend the wedding because it goes

251
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:35,440
Speaker 1: against what you believe, which is you have to be

252
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:39,520
Speaker 1: faithful within your vowels, within your relationship, within your marriage.

253
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,120
Speaker 1: But you know she ain't gonna stop cheating, so you like,

254
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,200
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't even want to be a part

255
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:47,520
Speaker 1: of this shit. Hmmm. As a woman, you are doing

256
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:51,400
Speaker 1: the right thing. As a best friend, you are doing

257
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:57,280
Speaker 1: the right thing. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. If it were

258
00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:59,520
Speaker 1: me and my best friend was going up to be

259
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:03,680
Speaker 1: married and I knew she was cheating on her husband

260
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,280
Speaker 1: or her wife, you know, because my best friend is gay,

261
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:12,200
Speaker 1: I don't. I would say I'm not gonna lie. I

262
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:16,840
Speaker 1: wouldn't not be in the wedding just because my bond

263
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:21,120
Speaker 1: with my best friend trumps everything. Like it, I put

264
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:23,600
Speaker 1: my bond with her over everything. My best friend is

265
00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:26,520
Speaker 1: my girl, like that's my ride or die. And y'all

266
00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:30,240
Speaker 1: know how much I hate that term, that phrase ride

267
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:34,320
Speaker 1: or god. No, this is my real life of a

268
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:39,880
Speaker 1: half type best friendshit. Like best friend is used very

269
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:44,920
Speaker 1: loosely these days. The term friend in general is used

270
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:49,040
Speaker 1: very loosely these days. I feel like to defined friend

271
00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:52,880
Speaker 1: that that gotta be. Man, you're confidant the person that

272
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:55,440
Speaker 1: tells you when you're wrong, the person that you run

273
00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:59,840
Speaker 1: to for advice, the person that runs to you for advice,

274
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,640
Speaker 1: person that that loves you in and out, that loves

275
00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:05,439
Speaker 1: you no matter what you got in your bank account,

276
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:11,160
Speaker 1: that loves you no matter what obstacles are throwing your way,

277
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:14,360
Speaker 1: and ship like that's that's a friend. That's a friend,

278
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:17,240
Speaker 1: And a person that holds you down man, no matter

279
00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:19,480
Speaker 1: what you're going through. A person that spots you, that

280
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,600
Speaker 1: can see when something is wrong. A person that doesn't

281
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,880
Speaker 1: ignore you, that sees you for who you are, no

282
00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:28,880
Speaker 1: matter what what's going on, whether that's good or bad.

283
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:31,760
Speaker 1: They wish you in your times of ups as they're

284
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:35,480
Speaker 1: with you in your times of down. So that's what

285
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:37,280
Speaker 1: a friend is for me. That's what a That's what

286
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:41,440
Speaker 1: a best friend is that I just described. And her

287
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:48,440
Speaker 1: cheating on her fiance still would not make me decline

288
00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:53,160
Speaker 1: being her maid of honor at her wedding. Now, will

289
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:56,000
Speaker 1: there be a conversation put in place prior to the

290
00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,920
Speaker 1: wedding and what I think she should do, what I

291
00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:05,720
Speaker 1: feel she's up against, and how bad I feel as

292
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:09,720
Speaker 1: a woman standing up there knowing what you're doing knowing

293
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,840
Speaker 1: that you are already breaking your vows, knowing that you're

294
00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:15,320
Speaker 1: up here living a fucking lie. You're living in sin

295
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:19,120
Speaker 1: before God and your wife and you know, and or husband.

296
00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:21,920
Speaker 1: Whatever that's gonna bother me, It's not gonna bother me

297
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:23,400
Speaker 1: to the point where I'm gonna say, I'm not gonna

298
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:26,160
Speaker 1: be in a wedding. But hmm, it will bother me

299
00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:28,400
Speaker 1: a great deal, Yes it would. But she would definitely

300
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:30,680
Speaker 1: know how I feel before she walked down that out,

301
00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:32,760
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, whether she still want to

302
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,360
Speaker 1: go with it or not, whether she gonna keep it

303
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:38,600
Speaker 1: real with her damn self or not. To be honest,

304
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:41,840
Speaker 1: I would object. I'm not gonna lie. I'm gonna be

305
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,600
Speaker 1: one of them to object. I Am not going to

306
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,960
Speaker 1: not be there again. I want to stress this. I'm

307
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,800
Speaker 1: not gonna not stand there as I'm maid of honor.

308
00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,320
Speaker 1: But what I'm going to do is tell her what

309
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,720
Speaker 1: the plan is. Look, I'm gonna stand up there with you.

310
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:59,960
Speaker 1: But if you let that preacher or pastor whoever or

311
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:04,080
Speaker 1: whoever is marrying you, guys, if you let him include

312
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:06,360
Speaker 1: that one little part where he say, speak now, will

313
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,360
Speaker 1: forever hold your peace. If you feel you know that

314
00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:12,280
Speaker 1: these two shouldn't get married. I'm gonna say, Okay, listen,

315
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:16,120
Speaker 1: I do I feel like they shouldn't. I feel like

316
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:18,600
Speaker 1: they shouldn't. I don't feel like they ready yet. And

317
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,920
Speaker 1: then the husband or the wife would be like, yes,

318
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,280
Speaker 1: I am, and then look at my best friend, like,

319
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:26,320
Speaker 1: why is your best friend stepping out of line saying

320
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:29,560
Speaker 1: this shit? And she gonna have to tell that nigga

321
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:33,000
Speaker 1: or tell that woman right there, because she knows something

322
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,240
Speaker 1: that the rest of you don't know. She knows something

323
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,320
Speaker 1: that you don't know. I'm cheating on you currently and

324
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:40,120
Speaker 1: I didn't plan to stop. And so my best friend

325
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:43,640
Speaker 1: had a problem with that, and she's actually battling her

326
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:48,200
Speaker 1: morals standing here next to me today marrying you knowing

327
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:51,920
Speaker 1: damn well, I cheat and I'm not gonna stop. No,

328
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:54,760
Speaker 1: she may not say it like that shit. It ain't

329
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:57,680
Speaker 1: my place to tell him. It's definitely my place to object.

330
00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:00,880
Speaker 1: It's your place to tell him. So yeah, while I'll

331
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,680
Speaker 1: be there with ringing bells, bright out and bushy tailed,

332
00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:10,040
Speaker 1: supporting my girl, I'm going to give that objection. I

333
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:12,600
Speaker 1: don't think that she's ready. I do not think that

334
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:16,840
Speaker 1: she's ready. And I'm sorry. If she choose to be like,

335
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:18,640
Speaker 1: I don't know what she's talking about, I'm ready. I'll

336
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,800
Speaker 1: be like, all right, that's fine, and then I will

337
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:27,159
Speaker 1: step back in line. So niggas, no niggas, could just

338
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,800
Speaker 1: try to stop the shit. So that way that the

339
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:33,240
Speaker 1: voice won't look so ugly, the voice won't look like

340
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:36,399
Speaker 1: it just came out of fucking nowhere because Jes tried

341
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:39,840
Speaker 1: the warners. Period. Now we got a commercial, and if

342
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:41,800
Speaker 1: you click off of this podcast, I swear I'm gonna

343
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:47,280
Speaker 1: beat your ass. Listen. Now, I know a lot of

344
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:49,200
Speaker 1: my listeners are going to be like, Jess is lying.

345
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,760
Speaker 1: She is not about to stand up there against our

346
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,720
Speaker 1: best friend and say no bullshit like that. And da

347
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:57,439
Speaker 1: da da da da da da, and said, listen, you

348
00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:02,840
Speaker 1: shitting me, You shitting me? At solutely understand as a

349
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,560
Speaker 1: best friend the position that you are put in. And

350
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,760
Speaker 1: I honestly feel like you should have a conversation with

351
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,359
Speaker 1: your girls, she says, she I don't want to, she don't,

352
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,399
Speaker 1: she ain't gonna stop, don't be in a wedding. I

353
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:16,119
Speaker 1: honestly feel like that I just gave you what I

354
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:19,879
Speaker 1: would do and what I would do would probably embarrass

355
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:24,520
Speaker 1: her much more, you know, embarrass her furthermore. But it's

356
00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:27,119
Speaker 1: better to get that shit out the way then then

357
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:31,360
Speaker 1: later on break this man's heart over something that could

358
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,119
Speaker 1: have been prevented, you know what I mean. I know

359
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:36,359
Speaker 1: the wedding is already probably paid for. She wants to

360
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,400
Speaker 1: have a cake and eat it too, and shit like that,

361
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:43,439
Speaker 1: and I know that. But you know, obviously you are

362
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:49,120
Speaker 1: a woman of deep morale, and you just don't. You don't.

363
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:51,560
Speaker 1: You don't like certain shit, you don't stand for certain shit.

364
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,280
Speaker 1: And I feel like as a woman, you're doing the

365
00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:55,560
Speaker 1: right thing, and as a best friend you're doing an

366
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:59,400
Speaker 1: even wrter thing. Just have that conversation. This may put

367
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:02,960
Speaker 1: a wedge, drop a wedge between you and your best friend,

368
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,720
Speaker 1: but when it's for the greater good and the bigger picture,

369
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,240
Speaker 1: I don't see anything wrong with that. And if it

370
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:11,119
Speaker 1: ain't gonna physically hurt you or mentally hurt you or

371
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:14,240
Speaker 1: emotionally hurt you to lose a friend for a little while,

372
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,840
Speaker 1: I say, shit, don't go, don't be in it, or

373
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:20,320
Speaker 1: you can go, just don't be in it, you know

374
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:22,840
Speaker 1: what I mean, But definitely tell her how the fuck

375
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:26,520
Speaker 1: you feel. You definitely gotta tell her you can't just

376
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,359
Speaker 1: like say I don't want to be in a wedding

377
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,800
Speaker 1: and then she not know why, you know what I mean.

378
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:35,040
Speaker 1: Obviously she knows you have your reservations about this shit

379
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:40,280
Speaker 1: because you told me that. She said it would be

380
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:43,720
Speaker 1: raising red flags if you don't come. How the fuck

381
00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,800
Speaker 1: would that be a red flag? To be honest with you,

382
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,120
Speaker 1: it'd just be me and my best friend fell out.

383
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,359
Speaker 1: Has your best friend ever come close to her husband

384
00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:54,040
Speaker 1: finding out that she cheating my fiance finding out that

385
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,800
Speaker 1: she's cheating? And is it with multiple men? Is this

386
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,679
Speaker 1: like a mistress type of thing? Like does she have

387
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,240
Speaker 1: an go on the side or just one main nigga

388
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:05,000
Speaker 1: on the side? You know, I need to know. Is

389
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:07,520
Speaker 1: she just I don't know, does the husband the fiance

390
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:11,040
Speaker 1: have money? Is she marrying this nigga for security financial

391
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:14,159
Speaker 1: security and she just getting her little dick on the side,

392
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,440
Speaker 1: or you know, I need some more meat on the bone.

393
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:21,359
Speaker 1: I know you probably don't want your best friend to

394
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:24,000
Speaker 1: figure out that you're talking about her, but bababy, she

395
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,800
Speaker 1: probably already gonna know. You know, you brought this shit

396
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,960
Speaker 1: up to her obviously, and she's probably gonna know because

397
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:33,600
Speaker 1: she's probably an avid, carefully reckless listener. I also can't

398
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:35,760
Speaker 1: help but to point out the fact that you said

399
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,520
Speaker 1: I am not the only person that you gave this

400
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:40,440
Speaker 1: story to, because you really are torn. You need to know.

401
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,840
Speaker 1: You want to know what you should do. Oh man,

402
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,040
Speaker 1: but that's that's what I think.

403
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:46,320
Speaker 2: You should do.

404
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:49,560
Speaker 1: Baby. Just be honest and just get back timmy. Tell

405
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:51,360
Speaker 1: me how the shit go. When is the wedding and shit,

406
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,680
Speaker 1: I might pop out and object. You never know if

407
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:55,040
Speaker 1: it don't if you don't want it to be you,

408
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,040
Speaker 1: how about you go and I go and shit. And

409
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:02,119
Speaker 1: then when they say, oh, if anybody objects, I can

410
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:05,199
Speaker 1: say object because I know that she cheating on this

411
00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:08,639
Speaker 1: man and I don't want him to find out later.

412
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,879
Speaker 1: So better now or whatever? Does anybody else want to

413
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:14,080
Speaker 1: get married? So these people money don't go to waste

414
00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:16,600
Speaker 1: on these decorations. And then we'll see how that go.

415
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:19,720
Speaker 1: But just let me know, baby girl. And just like that,

416
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:21,560
Speaker 1: we have done this episode. We've come to the end

417
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:24,320
Speaker 1: of yet another carefully reckless with your girl just hilarious.

418
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 1: And what I be doing, I'll be fixing mess like

419
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,000
Speaker 1: how I be doing. So if you got messed that

420
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:29,720
Speaker 1: you want me to fix. Whether you want me to

421
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:32,600
Speaker 1: fix it on Carefully Reckless, on a Black Effect, shout

422
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:35,520
Speaker 1: out to I Heeart, or on Breakfast Club, make sure

423
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 1: you hit me up in the Carefully Reckless podcast dm

424
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:41,560
Speaker 1: sending me a story now. You can send it via

425
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,160
Speaker 1: voice note, or you can type a long gas paragraph,

426
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:47,720
Speaker 1: but make sure you do punctuations correct, because if it's

427
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:49,879
Speaker 1: a long run on sentence, I ain't gonna read it.

428
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:53,679
Speaker 1: I'm getting tired of trying to fix y'all broken english

429
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:56,399
Speaker 1: and shit broken literature. Ya want. I don't want my

430
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,320
Speaker 1: nigga to know my voice. Well, bitch, you need to

431
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:00,960
Speaker 1: go take a punctuation class. You need to go take

432
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,399
Speaker 1: an English class over and figure out how to write.

433
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 1: If I gotta read it, your mess ain't gonna never

434
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,679
Speaker 1: get fixed. All right, it is what it is, and

435
00:22:07,720 --> 00:23:22,440
Speaker 1: in my deepest pan voice, see you next week. Can'tfully

436
00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:25,720
Speaker 1: Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect.

437
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:30,920
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

438
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,000
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.