Speaker 1: On the Doll Cast, the questions asked if movies have
Speaker 1: women in them, are all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands,
Speaker 1: or do they have individualism the patriarchy? Zef and best
Speaker 1: start changing it with the beck Del Cast. Hi, Welcome
Speaker 1: to the beck Doell Cast. My name is Jamie, my
Speaker 1: name is Caitlin, and this is our podcast about how
Speaker 1: women are portrayed in movies. And uh, we use the
Speaker 1: Bechdel test, which let's lay it out for you. It's
Speaker 1: based on test invented by author Alison Bechdel. It is
Speaker 1: a test that you have to put up, Oh God, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm doing so well. Uh, there has to be a
Speaker 1: scene in the thing you're watching that has two women
Speaker 1: in it, preferably with names. We say, with names, with names, assertive, okay,
Speaker 1: and they are talking about something that is not a man.
Speaker 1: That's all it takes. That's all it takes. But wouldn't
Speaker 1: you know what A lot of movies don't us the
Speaker 1: Bectel test. Uh, it's yeah, no, yeah, it's it's too bad.
Speaker 1: It's a damn shame. It's a goddamn shame. It's a
Speaker 1: goddamn shame. However, it's the world we live in and
Speaker 1: I'm okay, how are you. I'm doing pretty well. I'm
Speaker 1: about to crack open a small bottle of chardonnay. I
Speaker 1: didn't have time, not just any Oh no, I'm sorry. Well,
Speaker 1: I'll be the drunk one on this episode. Uh, it's
Speaker 1: not just any schardon ay, it's Crane Lake chardon ay
Speaker 1: and it comes in a plastic bottle. I'm sorry. As
Speaker 1: someone who's drank whine out of plastic bottles plenty of times.
Speaker 1: What's wrong with that? There's nothing wrong with that. I
Speaker 1: just wanted to, you know, I wanted to seem relatable.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm not one of these fancy glass bottle
Speaker 1: drinking Caitlin's usually drinking out of a glass bottle while
Speaker 1: I'm drinking my Mike's hard trying to trying to keep
Speaker 1: it real Hollywood to eat, you're out in another It's
Speaker 1: just not today. I'm I'm with the the proletariat class
Speaker 1: with my plastic bottle that I will recycle. Yeah, welcome back,
Speaker 1: Welcome back to her anyway. So we talked about movies,
Speaker 1: specifically about the portrayal of women in the movies, and
Speaker 1: we have a guest every episode. Today is no different. No,
Speaker 1: nor will it ever be. I'm excited yesterday. She has
Speaker 1: her own podcast, whoa what does? She called Your Booze
Speaker 1: Your News, where she and her co host get very
Speaker 1: drunk and then say the news and it's a lot
Speaker 1: of fun. And she's a comedian and she's very funny.
Speaker 1: Georgia Brooks, Hi, Hi, thanks for being here. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: thanks for having me. I can't wait to talk about
Speaker 1: boys together. That's what we're doing, right, talk about boys.
Speaker 1: Who do you have a crush on? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: And I don't even want to talk about right now.
Speaker 1: I have a rough week. And if you're going to
Speaker 1: talk about your rough week here, we're going to have
Speaker 1: to change the subject to boys, right. Sorry, um, sorry,
Speaker 1: this is this podcast? Oh never Well Exchangers Past the
Speaker 1: backdult Test. Yeah, well, that's like our intro basically of Hi,
Speaker 1: I'm Jamie. Hi, I'm Caitlin. We did it. We have names.
Speaker 1: We're not that we're talking about women, we're talking to
Speaker 1: about ourselves. Really, I'm Caitlin, I'm Jamie. Very self involved
Speaker 1: for talking about the movie. So it's like the whole
Speaker 1: podcast past. Although sometimes we do spend a lot of
Speaker 1: time talking about Alfred Molina. That's me. We got an
Speaker 1: audible aris, donta laugh. I think Alfred Molina actually okay
Speaker 1: to transition into the movie we're talking about today. I'm
Speaker 1: surprised Alfred Molina was not in this movie. I think
Speaker 1: that this he would have been a good fit. I
Speaker 1: love seeing Alfred Molina in a vest. This is a
Speaker 1: very vest heavy movie. I love seeing Alfred Molina playing
Speaker 1: too type, not against type. I don't like to see
Speaker 1: him challenge himself googling who you're talking about by the
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, he's the beef kick. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I just saw him in an episode of Shetland. Really yeah,
Speaker 1: I need to watch it. I think that I need
Speaker 1: to like lock myself in my home and watch everything
Speaker 1: he's ever been in and uh and come out a
Speaker 1: new person, come out of Guru. But Alfremlea unfortunately is
Speaker 1: not in this movie. But it seems like he could
Speaker 1: be totally he would be a great fit. So glad
Speaker 1: I looked it up so I could talk he aesthetically.
Speaker 1: Now I'm thinking about he aesthetically works very well for
Speaker 1: can we say it the Mommy Fraser that one the
Speaker 1: roller coaster movie. Yes, if you've ever been to Universal Studios.
Speaker 1: Can I just say I like, told my boyfriend was like,
Speaker 1: I gotta watch Georgia the Jungle this week and then
Speaker 1: time is later, and message him being like, I meant
Speaker 1: the mommymy totally alright. Because Brendan Frasers in Georgia the Jungle,
Speaker 1: I think that's not Georgia the Jungle too. I got confused.
Speaker 1: There's someone who is just as handsome and mad as him.
Speaker 1: Did you know that Alfred Moina is a series regular
Speaker 1: in Angi Tribecca. No I did not. I didn't either.
Speaker 1: I haven't seen Untili Tribeca. Now I'm gonna watch it.
Speaker 1: I mean I knew he was on Feudecca if we could,
Speaker 1: I honestly wouldn't mind if we if we talked about
Speaker 1: boys the whole time. I love talking about boys, especially
Speaker 1: when boys are Alfredia. Also, can I say, like, I
Speaker 1: know this is controversial, but Brandon Fraser rewatching the movie,
Speaker 1: and by rewatching, I mean I honestly, once I started
Speaker 1: watching the Mummy yesterday, I was like, oh, I haven't
Speaker 1: seen this before. Oh perfect, I had never seen this movie.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that I hadn't seen it because I'm
Speaker 1: probably because I was thinking about George of the Jungle.
Speaker 1: I thought i'd seen it because I've been on the
Speaker 1: roller coaster so much. And that's true because there's a
Speaker 1: video of Brendan Fraser in character that used to be
Speaker 1: at the end of the roller coaster. It's the only
Speaker 1: thing that is the only like video tie in that's
Speaker 1: better than the Brendan Fraser saying at the end of
Speaker 1: the ride, WHOA, that was pretty crazy. Anyways, remember to
Speaker 1: unbuckle your seat belts like that was literally what the
Speaker 1: video was. A little fact that's still his only gig.
Speaker 1: He still gets royalties from that rollercoaster video. But the
Speaker 1: only one that's better, if you're listening at home is
Speaker 1: look up the Bill Paxton Rest in Paradise Twister Experience video.
Speaker 1: It's not a ride that exists anymore. It's literally one
Speaker 1: of those like Hollywood things where you go in and
Speaker 1: you just watch a set from Twister blowsh it around,
Speaker 1: and then at the end there's a video of Bill
Speaker 1: Paxton saying, Wow, the majesty of Nature. Check out Twister.
Speaker 1: It came out, this ride existed is recently is five
Speaker 1: years ago where uh in Florida. It was like I
Speaker 1: think it was like, yeah, like Universal Studios in Florida.
Speaker 1: I mean, this is the second movie we've done now
Speaker 1: that has had a dater. Can you guys do Pirates
Speaker 1: of the Cab. We're gonna do the Country Bears. We're
Speaker 1: gonna do you guys are gonna do Song in the
Speaker 1: South anytimes? Oh No, that is a roller coaster movie.
Speaker 1: It's like my favorite roller coaster and it's problematic on
Speaker 1: literal mountains, isn't that Yeah? Yeah, yeah, and they're like,
Speaker 1: let's change it. Let's not change it. I'm sure somebody
Speaker 1: will also do Jurassic Park. I would love the Drastic Park.
Speaker 1: Raft ride is fine. I love it. Well, there's a
Speaker 1: place called Paramount, Canada's Wonderland, and I bet they've got
Speaker 1: a lot of rides based on movies that you guys
Speaker 1: just don't know. Our rides about Raider, there's a room,
Speaker 1: no way. Yeah, I would almost got to go to Killa.
Speaker 1: I would almost prefer that to well, I don't know.
Speaker 1: There's also the one with the guy who jumped on
Speaker 1: the couch Tom Cruise. He's in the new movie movie
Speaker 1: What's the What's the movie? Top Gun? There's a top
Speaker 1: Gun ride there too. Way. Yeah, rules kicks the shift
Speaker 1: out of that twist to ride. It wasn't even ride,
Speaker 1: you just stared at it. Oh wait, here's another good time.
Speaker 1: This is a roller coaster podcast. Now. I love and
Speaker 1: my mom. I've never seen my mom more excited than
Speaker 1: to go on the Aerosmith roller coaster in Orlando, Florida.
Speaker 1: For some reason, the Disney Corporation took it upon itself.
Speaker 1: You know who needs to be adapted into a roller
Speaker 1: coaster The band Arrowsmith. I mean, they're not wrong there,
Speaker 1: it's they're a great band. They're from from my hometown,
Speaker 1: for crying out loud, there from Boston. Um. So my
Speaker 1: mom like she she used to be a roadie for
Speaker 1: the Beaver Brown Band. She was there their their road
Speaker 1: sled or whatever she did. I don't know. I don't
Speaker 1: know exactly what she did with the Beaver Brown band,
Speaker 1: but she let's call her right like Joe, what was
Speaker 1: your affiliation? She doesn't like to talk about it. So
Speaker 1: I think she was the Red Slide um, but she
Speaker 1: she aspired to be the Aerosmith roads that never got there.
Speaker 1: We went to Disney World when I was like twelve,
Speaker 1: and she all she wanted to do was gone the
Speaker 1: Aerosmith roller coaster and was thrilled because when you're in
Speaker 1: the waiting area because it's an in demand roller coaster,
Speaker 1: there's lines there. Can that be true? But it's a
Speaker 1: great roller Okay, but there. I was on it last
Speaker 1: year and I was like, not hold up, but there's
Speaker 1: a huge like you're waiting in like their studio, and
Speaker 1: then all of Aaronsmith acts and this short sketch and
Speaker 1: they're so bad and they're just like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: we gotta get to tour it the venue. We gotta
Speaker 1: get to the veneo God, get us to the Greek
Speaker 1: or like whatever they're saying. Um And Steve Tyler is
Speaker 1: there and he's like, oh my god, guys, we're going
Speaker 1: to be late. Hey didn't. Then the appoint it me
Speaker 1: and they say, hey, can you drive for us? We
Speaker 1: need some roadies And my mom was like because she
Speaker 1: wanted to be ready. Yeah, she was thrilled. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: this is the coaster cast. Anyway, the movie was cool,
Speaker 1: So you guys hadn't have seen it before. I think
Speaker 1: I saw it when it first came out in and
Speaker 1: then never again except for today and yesterday when I
Speaker 1: watched it twice and then maybe never and never again
Speaker 1: after this, but it's a time for the recap. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, there, you guys, don't do that. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: cut a track right now in every single time. Well, first,
Speaker 1: I feel like someone was like, Hey, I really want
Speaker 1: to make an Indiana Jones movie. But I don't have
Speaker 1: the rights to Indiana Jones, but I want to make
Speaker 1: an Indiana Jones movie anyway, So I'm gonna make this movie,
Speaker 1: and I'm not going to care that it's very bad. Probably,
Speaker 1: I say, I can see that it has such an
Speaker 1: Jones feel, as Jones accept like a really like a
Speaker 1: CVS brand Jones. Yeah. But then I was up and up.
Speaker 1: That's so funny that you think that, because I was thinking, Oh,
Speaker 1: this is like a better version of National Treasure, which
Speaker 1: is just another version of Indiana Jones. I love National Treasure.
Speaker 1: I'm sure it would have could have been a fine movie.
Speaker 1: Oh no, what's the name of that guy? I wish
Speaker 1: he was in National Treasure? Another movie he'd fit in great. Well,
Speaker 1: he is in Raiders of the Lost Dark Alfred Molina is. Oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: he's in a good one. I'm sorry. Last Crusade is
Speaker 1: a very good one. Here's something not the best. One
Speaker 1: will shock you here. I've never seen in Indiana John, No,
Speaker 1: it won't. It does not shock National Treasure probably five times,
Speaker 1: so you don't need to see Indiana Jones exactly. That's
Speaker 1: just think of that but better. But like what if
Speaker 1: this is better? But I love It's something I know
Speaker 1: and love the The plot twist in Natural Treasure is
Speaker 1: daylight saving time. That's a great twist. I love that twist.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad I brought this one because I need
Speaker 1: to get drunk immediately. Raiders of the Lost Arc probably
Speaker 1: is the better film, but we all can agree that
Speaker 1: Indiana Jones on the Last Crusade is a much more
Speaker 1: fun movie. And it wasn't really closer two. I know
Speaker 1: it's a really fun one. It was alright anyway, So
Speaker 1: this movie God well, to quote of Brendan Frasier's character,
Speaker 1: I gotta rescue the damsel in distress, kill the bad guy,
Speaker 1: and save the world. I love that line. I was like, boom,
Speaker 1: nailed it, nail on the head. Brandon. I have a
Speaker 1: lot of thoughts about Brandon Fraser. I'm sure you're not
Speaker 1: supprised he buys into my My new theory is that
Speaker 1: Brendan Fraser is ostensibly the rebound boyfriend of actors because
Speaker 1: you do not have to take him seriously. He's fun
Speaker 1: for two hours. The second you hit two hours, he
Speaker 1: is not fun anymore, and you're like, I want to
Speaker 1: go home. And that's that is. That's luckily this movie
Speaker 1: clocks in just over two hours, but ten minutes of
Speaker 1: that is the credits. So yeah, by a mummy, So
Speaker 1: it's like, you're busy. He's got a frinding about him.
Speaker 1: Is like I forgot how hot he was and I
Speaker 1: was like, holy crap, he's so hot. But then by
Speaker 1: the end of the movie you see like where you're like,
Speaker 1: he's just something off hot, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: when he's wild brand hot. This whole movie is this
Speaker 1: CBS brand. I like, I feel like if you called
Speaker 1: Brendan Fraser's name, he's got the kind of eyes where
Speaker 1: he'd like look over like a like an egrette. He'd
Speaker 1: be like, what like an emu ostrich, what am I
Speaker 1: thinking of? I'm thinking of a large bird. That's how
Speaker 1: I think. I feel like Brendan Frener could lay an
Speaker 1: egg and that's what he's been doing. Lately. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: be surprised if Brendan Fraser. So this is like I
Speaker 1: laid a night I had coldbred coffee for the first
Speaker 1: time today. Oh, that's the last time I had cold
Speaker 1: brew coffee. I had a panic attack. I am story.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm on the verge of a pan.
Speaker 1: But let's let's ride this way. Let's write it um
Speaker 1: and let's recap the story. We open in like ancient Egypt.
Speaker 1: What years it? We don't know? Something BC something. I
Speaker 1: don't give a funk. If it's before Christ. Yeah, not interesting.
Speaker 1: Let's leave this out of it, Okay, just to clarify.
Speaker 1: So in the beginning, when it's like the BC era,
Speaker 1: and then so what's that chick? Is she like super
Speaker 1: special or something? She's the pharaoh's mistress, mistress mistress? Where's
Speaker 1: we don't know? Do we hear about the wife? I
Speaker 1: don't think so they would talk about something together, I know,
Speaker 1: only woden't have a conversation, just one thing, those two. Um.
Speaker 1: But then she's having an affair with someone else. She
Speaker 1: loves somebody else, which is this man. He's bald and
Speaker 1: that's really honestly, I thought he was when I first
Speaker 1: last movie, I thought it was Billy Zane. I was like,
Speaker 1: that guy's that's Billy Zane. And then I rewatched it
Speaker 1: yesterday and I was like, no, different man who looks
Speaker 1: just like him? Before we start to get bad reviews,
Speaker 1: we're not saying all bald men look alike. I know
Speaker 1: that we we've got to be aware, do you know? What?
Speaker 1: Was crazy? And I know we're still doing the plot
Speaker 1: but we haven't. We've hardly begun. But how like that
Speaker 1: at the beginning, it's like that woman is like us, basically,
Speaker 1: like a sex slave mistress, and then she's in love
Speaker 1: with someone and he loves her, and then yet that
Speaker 1: person who loves her and her become the villain. It's
Speaker 1: like they should be the good guys. Yeah, I was
Speaker 1: a little bit confused about that, Like why are they
Speaker 1: the villains? They've had a ship time, I don't know. Anyways,
Speaker 1: forward also the after Christ the the actress who plays
Speaker 1: the ancient Egyptian lady. Her name is Patricia Velasquez who
Speaker 1: plays Marta on Arrested Development? Whoa which one's Marta on
Speaker 1: Arrested develop She's the one that Michael is in love
Speaker 1: with that date that's fine, yeah, I wanted them to
Speaker 1: make it, I know not and Michael anyway, so they
Speaker 1: they have this like clandestine relationship and the Pharaoh finds out,
Speaker 1: so he's like, you're a bad man. I'm going to
Speaker 1: curse you and not really though before he could curse him, oh,
Speaker 1: the woman they killed him. Well, the woman stabs herself
Speaker 1: and then they they killed the pharaoh first. I don't remember,
Speaker 1: but saying it doesn't really it didn't even It's like,
Speaker 1: this is a why is this movie hard to follow?
Speaker 1: Like it shouldn't be. There's a lot of questions that
Speaker 1: I feel like I would come up with the wrong plot.
Speaker 1: And I tried really hard to pay attention to this movie.
Speaker 1: It's a hard movie to pay attention to it. And
Speaker 1: when I said who cares, I don't mean I didn't
Speaker 1: mean to dismiss you. I meant to say, this movie
Speaker 1: is stupid, who cares what happens in it? I just
Speaker 1: wanted to clarify, right, Yeah, all my fans are going
Speaker 1: to be really mad about it. The Georgia Heads are
Speaker 1: coming after you. Brooks Nation. The bottom one the guy
Speaker 1: becomes a mummy and then put in a tomb, and
Speaker 1: the sarcophagus, and they mummify him while he's alive, so
Speaker 1: he gets put in that thing when he's still alive,
Speaker 1: which is You can tell it scary because his eyes
Speaker 1: are like, no, yeah, this tongue, which is which is
Speaker 1: a bad thing in the beast. How is he going
Speaker 1: to go down on a woman? That's what they're saying. Wait, wait, air,
Speaker 1: is that not how you get down a woman? Just
Speaker 1: gentle blowing. I feel like if you had a nub
Speaker 1: enough a tongue, you could still do it. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: don't have to like really get in there, but yeah,
Speaker 1: a little froggy no, you would you have to do
Speaker 1: if you had a really little tongue. Hypothetically, I'm not
Speaker 1: sorry I got I have a great tongue, um, but
Speaker 1: if you have a little tongue, I have an average
Speaker 1: sized tongue. I drive such a fancy hot car because
Speaker 1: I'm compensating for my tongue, my tongue. But maybe you'd
Speaker 1: have to And everyone at home please picture this happening
Speaker 1: to a vagina. Spread your mouth and suction on to
Speaker 1: get the tongue. Because you can't bring the tongue. The
Speaker 1: tongue has to be brought to well anyway, so there's
Speaker 1: a curse, he's a money or so. Then the future
Speaker 1: comes at the past, is it n it's and then
Speaker 1: it like goes forward more so I was guessing that
Speaker 1: was around five to thirty, but the first ones in
Speaker 1: when Brandon Fraser is still like I only watched this
Speaker 1: movie once, you don't remember the years as is like
Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with like Edwardian culture, which is like nineteen
Speaker 1: nineteen ten. And then right after that and I got, really,
Speaker 1: the one thing I really liked about this movie is
Speaker 1: like the era took place in and also her fashion
Speaker 1: her Yeah, it's she's she's a colonial gal with very
Speaker 1: thin eyebrows. I didn't even know that was Rachel I
Speaker 1: wrote down triggered by eyebrows, eyebrows, very distracting, no idea
Speaker 1: that was her because she has such like rich, luxurious
Speaker 1: eyebrows and they're so overplunched in this movie because I
Speaker 1: was like the style of the time that I did
Speaker 1: not know that was Rachel White until I looked at him.
Speaker 1: She has she has pregnant teenager eyebrows. Those are overplugged
Speaker 1: eyebrows are for pregnant teenagers and people who don't know
Speaker 1: what they're doing. All the pregnant teenagers listening to the podcast.
Speaker 1: We're not trying to put you in a box. Keep listening,
Speaker 1: and you know, think about how your your body, your choice,
Speaker 1: your but also I mean with the baby, but not
Speaker 1: with your eyebrows. And there's no excuse for bad So
Speaker 1: I should just I am dB this, babe, I am dB. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't fit it took I. I have been trying
Speaker 1: to challenge myself to not google things for the second
Speaker 1: I want to google them. No, But like when I
Speaker 1: was watching the movie earlier, I was like, I'm going
Speaker 1: to figure out who this actress is. I know her face,
Speaker 1: but the browser distracting and I didn't get it. I
Speaker 1: had to look it up. Well, it's she looked Hella familiar,
Speaker 1: And by the end of the movie, I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I've seen her a buttload. Yeah. I think that's the
Speaker 1: technical term, and that's the unit of measurement that I'd
Speaker 1: like to apply. Yeah. So then he gets arrested. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Brendan Fraser is like, I guess, a treasure hunter and
Speaker 1: he like goes to this lost city, this city of
Speaker 1: the Dead in Egypt, and there's these people who attack him,
Speaker 1: and he's like no when he gets arrested, and then
Speaker 1: intro Rachel Wise as Evelyn and her brother and they
Speaker 1: worked at this like Library of Antiquities museum also in Egypt.
Speaker 1: She's a scholar. I forget why she go, right because
Speaker 1: her brother has this yeah, and I find this map. Now,
Speaker 1: like this is the map to this city of the dead.
Speaker 1: So they go and they find it's kind of like
Speaker 1: to see a national treasure where they steal a constitution
Speaker 1: and they're like, there's a map on the back and
Speaker 1: it's a lemon juice. How did you find out? What
Speaker 1: the No, that's not right. They didn't hold it under
Speaker 1: a black light. I don't know what they did. It's
Speaker 1: basically like national treasure, right, Okay, continue Anyway, they pair
Speaker 1: up with Brendan Fraser and they're like, let's go to
Speaker 1: this place. They find the city. They go inside these categories.
Speaker 1: There's a sarcophagus and then they're like this is creepy.
Speaker 1: And then there's these other people who are also hunting
Speaker 1: for the treasure in this place. And the twenties everyone
Speaker 1: really wanted treasure. Everyone loved treasure back then. Not so much.
Speaker 1: Now there's like no, no, one's seeking wealth anymore. You know.
Speaker 1: That's why I've made such a killing in the treasure business,
Speaker 1: because it's an undersaturated profession. I like to steal old
Speaker 1: paper and be like it's a map and then and
Speaker 1: then go to different countries and just sunk around. You're
Speaker 1: very good at that. Yeah, thank you anyway, So they
Speaker 1: released this Mommy that's in this this tunes because she
Speaker 1: reads from the book and she finds she didn't read
Speaker 1: that's the list reading no thank you. She reads from
Speaker 1: this book. It like awakens this bad mummy guy and
Speaker 1: he keeps like sucking the life out of people until
Speaker 1: he's like regenerated. And his whole thing is he wants
Speaker 1: to be reunited with the woman and he loves what.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Aristotle, we got him to say something. Wait,
Speaker 1: what did you say name right? Did you re watch
Speaker 1: the movie recently? You just remember? Okay, you just wait?
Speaker 1: Do you love the Mummy? Oh my god? If you
Speaker 1: didn't hear him, he said he used to love it.
Speaker 1: I don't believe how many times have you feel like
Speaker 1: you've just been waiting to yell at You're like they're
Speaker 1: gonna get there, They're gonna get there. That's so funny anyway,
Speaker 1: So he wants to be a twist for us from that.
Speaker 1: So this mommy guy wants to be reunited with his
Speaker 1: love whose name is whatever, who cares, And then he
Speaker 1: know he's like, I'm going to take this one other
Speaker 1: lady in the story and use her is like the
Speaker 1: vessel to try to revive my my beloved. And they're like, no,
Speaker 1: we can't let this happen. So they have to go
Speaker 1: find this other book that's going to kill him because
Speaker 1: he's immortal and he can't be killed by any mortal weapons.
Speaker 1: So they're like scrambling around and he's like unleashing all
Speaker 1: these plagues on the city and they're like, no, how
Speaker 1: do we do this? And then there's all these other
Speaker 1: mommies who come up and attack them, and a bunch
Speaker 1: of people die, and then finally they find the book
Speaker 1: they need and they kill him the end and they
Speaker 1: fall in love and right and Brandon fall in love. Yes,
Speaker 1: who saw that coming? Rick? I love that the hero
Speaker 1: of this Egyptian movie is Rick O'Connell. Sounds like a
Speaker 1: neighbor I would have Is that the brother? Uh No,
Speaker 1: that's Brendan Rick O'Connell. Rick O'Connell. The guy who plays Benny,
Speaker 1: who is presumably an Egyptian character, is played by a
Speaker 1: guy named Kevin O'Connor. That must probably a white guy
Speaker 1: and probably example of Hollywood. Hollywood whitewashing. This movie is very,
Speaker 1: very very guilty of whitewashing. If we're looking at it
Speaker 1: in a macro way, it's, you know, three white leads
Speaker 1: in a country of now white people. All the villains
Speaker 1: are you know, the slightly brown, slightly brown we I
Speaker 1: mean were they're just ethnically ambiguous. Well the Egyptian played
Speaker 1: by Patricia she's Hispanic, right, yeah, I mean they were
Speaker 1: like a anything money pigments, yeah, which uh And but
Speaker 1: you know even the way that like like everyone who
Speaker 1: lives in Egypt who is not American or British is
Speaker 1: like they're dumb or they're violent, and we're we're here
Speaker 1: to talk about women, but you know, we're addressing it's
Speaker 1: hard to talk about women with this movie. We literally
Speaker 1: have to talk about other things. I do have something
Speaker 1: I would like to address. It's very serious. So the
Speaker 1: reason we're doing this episode because there's a new Money
Speaker 1: installment coming out starring not Brandon Fraser but Tom Cruise,
Speaker 1: the guy who jumped on the couch. Isn't that weird?
Speaker 1: Usually when there's a new movie and they put a
Speaker 1: new person and they don't pick someone who's the same
Speaker 1: age as the original, dude, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: You just didn't cast him last time. Brandon Fraser uh
Speaker 1: is if nothing else, and he's a lot of things.
Speaker 1: He's a class act brand. Fraser released a statement upon
Speaker 1: not being cast in The Money reboot and being bumped
Speaker 1: by Tom Cruise, and it's maybe the saddest thing. Oh God, please,
Speaker 1: I've ever written my life. Here's what Mr Fraser had
Speaker 1: to say. Quote. I am flattered as Tom Cruise is
Speaker 1: a really big movie star. There are many movies made
Speaker 1: before the one that I was lucky to be a
Speaker 1: part of, which, speaking in the sense of you know,
Speaker 1: history of time, a lot of movies. I am certain
Speaker 1: this one will be unique. I have met Tom before
Speaker 1: and he is a nice guy. He will be great,
Speaker 1: and the film will be exciting, and get your tissues out.
Speaker 1: I will buy the ticket to watch it on the
Speaker 1: opening day. Imagine if Brendan Fraser had to pay for
Speaker 1: a ticket to the Mummy. I think we should start
Speaker 1: a Kickstarter get him a therapy dog and a free
Speaker 1: ticket to the Mummy because this because Homeboy is is
Speaker 1: torn up. He's torn up about it. It's just sad
Speaker 1: because it's like he could use it, you know, he
Speaker 1: could use it, and he shines. I enjoyed him in
Speaker 1: Luny Tunes back in Action in two thousand three. What's
Speaker 1: that movie he's in, Um Georgia the Jungle. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I want to see a reboot that you're in called
Speaker 1: Georgia of the jung So does everybody here that Hollywood?
Speaker 1: But yeah, let's talk about Evelyn, who I did not.
Speaker 1: I didn't even know her name until halfway through the movie. Yeah, same,
Speaker 1: because I was like, oh, Evelyn is a great name.
Speaker 1: I remembered Evie because I was like, that's a Pokemon.
Speaker 1: Let's just from the top her. The way she's introduced.
Speaker 1: What a goof right, she's putting books away in her library.
Speaker 1: What a weird introduction to this character. Yeah, because it
Speaker 1: doesn't even she never looks that way again, Like she
Speaker 1: had glasses on maybe or something. She looked like a
Speaker 1: super nerd and then that was the end of that.
Speaker 1: And she's like super clumsy because like she's on this
Speaker 1: ladder trying to put these books away, and then the
Speaker 1: ladder like somehow becomes suspended upright, and gravity stops existing
Speaker 1: for thirty seconds or so, and she's like kind of
Speaker 1: balancing on this ladder and she's almost like they're still,
Speaker 1: and then she finally tips over and knocks like twenty
Speaker 1: bookcases down dominoes. And then this mean guy comes in.
Speaker 1: He's like, you fix this, you fix it. He's like,
Speaker 1: why are you Why do I even hire you? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you suck. And she does stand up for herself and
Speaker 1: she's like, because I can read ancient in Egypt, I
Speaker 1: know what hi, your rhoglyphics are and the most that's
Speaker 1: the way exactly what she says. Well, I mean it's
Speaker 1: like the most expository dialogue ever. I went to college,
Speaker 1: and I know the pictures they made inside the triangles
Speaker 1: and and the guys like, you know what actually is?
Speaker 1: Because your parents have a lot of money? Did he
Speaker 1: say that to blame us? Girl? What do you know
Speaker 1: about misery? Hey? Titanic check the guy who plays Mr.
Speaker 1: Is may Is in this movie and the guy who
Speaker 1: plays another character whose name that scene with violent swimming
Speaker 1: that I was like, oh no, because they go overboard. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's that. And the guy who plays Captain Winston have
Speaker 1: Lock who like pilots their playing back to the city.
Speaker 1: Guy who says famous character cath I cosplayed in him.
Speaker 1: He plays the guy in Titanic who after Jack like
Speaker 1: saves Rose on the back of the ship. And then
Speaker 1: everyone's like did he save her or was he trying
Speaker 1: to rape er? We don't know? And then he's like, no,
Speaker 1: I saved her. And he's like, well, the boy's a hero.
Speaker 1: Then that guy that's a deep cut yes, yes, yes, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're right there. And then yeah, Mrs May plays on Chamberlain.
Speaker 1: He end doesn't He the guy from Titanic and from
Speaker 1: this movie. He's also the bad guy in Jamani. Oh sorry,
Speaker 1: there's a movie coming out with Kevin Harrison. I think
Speaker 1: it's Kevin Harden. What's his name? The Rock? Okay, I'm back.
Speaker 1: We I mean, story plot wise, we have not yet
Speaker 1: gotten to the part with Britain Frasher in a cage
Speaker 1: because I've been waiting. Oh, we just jumped right over
Speaker 1: that arrested for a reason that I can't decipher. I'm
Speaker 1: not sure. Then he almost gets hung. He's indicage. He
Speaker 1: looks exactly like he looked well Georgia the younger. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm like, is that how long has he been in
Speaker 1: the jail? We don't know. Um, we were I was
Speaker 1: talking about how how Ellen's character is introduced. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: haven't talked about her brother yet. Remember how her brother
Speaker 1: is introduced when she comes like in to the room
Speaker 1: and then he pretends to be like a skeleton mummy,
Speaker 1: like such a shitty brother move. And I originally thought
Speaker 1: it was going to go in the direction of, like,
Speaker 1: this is her husband and like or her fiance. I
Speaker 1: thought it was going to be somebody who liked her,
Speaker 1: who was a ship bag, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And then I'm glad it ended up being her brother too,
Speaker 1: because when we got to like we're like, oh whatever,
Speaker 1: I just want to love story to be able to happen,
Speaker 1: and I don't want anything to get in the way
Speaker 1: of that. Like I like that it was just her brother,
Speaker 1: so that heat there was nothing getting in the way
Speaker 1: of her and whatever his name is that theirs sure,
Speaker 1: but it's like there wasn't like a she gets mad
Speaker 1: at him because that guy told a lie, and it's like,
Speaker 1: fucking forget. I just want everyone to like be in love.
Speaker 1: I don't want any external opposing forces. Egypt is enough
Speaker 1: too close to Yeah, I mean Egypt. We're already in
Speaker 1: the trenches. There in the trenches. Let's talk about how
Speaker 1: after she and her brother are introduced, they go to
Speaker 1: the cage that Brandon Fraser is hanging out in because
Speaker 1: he's been arrested for whatever reason, rashing around, Right, how
Speaker 1: long has he been in there? Because he is effectively feral.
Speaker 1: When he bursts into that cage, he's like like, he's
Speaker 1: like screaming, I don't rashing around kissing him. It wouldn't
Speaker 1: take that long to be come like that in a
Speaker 1: jail cell I don't, probably not, especially if you're untethered
Speaker 1: as Brendan Fraser. But that's what I wanted to talk about.
Speaker 1: He just like he's like, come your closer, I gotta
Speaker 1: tell you something. And then he kisses her and we're
Speaker 1: like but she seems fine with it, which is like, well,
Speaker 1: she liked it, but she's like I didn't like it.
Speaker 1: She's ritten by a man who also read the g I.
Speaker 1: Joe movies. Just keep things in perspective. Well, I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: why did that happen? Why didn't anyone make that choice?
Speaker 1: And then she does like kind of push back a
Speaker 1: little bit. She's like, how dare you? And then she
Speaker 1: keeps She's like, you have bad manners and why why
Speaker 1: did you kiss me? And he's like, I was about
Speaker 1: to be hanged. It seemed like a good idea at
Speaker 1: the time. And then then pulls out a gun. Okay,
Speaker 1: I know you have a lot of He pulls out
Speaker 1: a gun. Well, he like slam after he says that
Speaker 1: line about like just I was in a cage, so
Speaker 1: you pretty much do every want a cage? Like, he
Speaker 1: slaps down all of his artillery in front of her,
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, this is a weird choice. Also,
Speaker 1: before he meets Evie and even before he kisses her,
Speaker 1: he calls her abroad. Yeah, like she'll do it, that's
Speaker 1: actually historical for a fourth she'll do for a fourth kiss.
Speaker 1: I'm George of the Jungle. Also Brendon Fraser controversy. All
Speaker 1: the Fraser heads out there, let me know what you think.
Speaker 1: I don't remember if Brendan Fraser has an auty belly
Speaker 1: button or if the guy in George of the Jungle
Speaker 1: too has an autie belly button. One of them has
Speaker 1: an autie belly button. I hope it's Brendan because I
Speaker 1: have an Audie. The audie community as very oppressed, especially
Speaker 1: in Hollywood, and is it even safe to say that
Speaker 1: on their don't even maybe ended this audi and prouty
Speaker 1: is what I'm saying. Brand it's Brandon Frazer. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: look up as tummy pressure ebbs. So, first of all,
Speaker 1: whenever you kiss someone without their permission, technically it's sexual assault.
Speaker 1: So that happened. And then there's this story beat where
Speaker 1: she's like kind of swooning over it. She's like in
Speaker 1: her when she's no Like before that, she's like she's
Speaker 1: in her room on the boat because they're heading towards
Speaker 1: this City of the Dead, and she's like trying to
Speaker 1: read and she's like so hot and bothered. And then
Speaker 1: she's like, oh, come on, girl, what wasn't even that
Speaker 1: good of a kiss? Like clearly she's apparently thinking about
Speaker 1: this kiss, but we saw the kiss and we know
Speaker 1: it wasn't that good, so she must be in love. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well that's not okay, You're right, I hear you, especially
Speaker 1: because that I was like, oh, yeah, this is so weird.
Speaker 1: Because it's always unacceptable obviously, but if a villain character
Speaker 1: had done that, I'd be like, oh, we're supposed to
Speaker 1: know he's a bad guy. He doesn't respect one. This
Speaker 1: is the hero of the movie, right, who pretty much
Speaker 1: in our introduction, Farrell Fraser bursts out, you know, he's
Speaker 1: foaming or whatever, and then and then he immediately assaults
Speaker 1: a man with his fist and then a woman with
Speaker 1: his mouth, and it's just it's just like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: just buy rules, can't wait to go on the roller coaster,
Speaker 1: like it's just weird. Well, and then there a couple
Speaker 1: of minutes after that, whenever there there's this like public
Speaker 1: hanging ceremony where he's about to be hung. She's trying
Speaker 1: to barter with this guy who's like in charge of
Speaker 1: hanging him, I guess. And then she's like, I'll pay
Speaker 1: you a hundred pounds and he's like, no, I'm a
Speaker 1: lonely man. What else can you give? And he puts
Speaker 1: his hand on her knee, and so she was assaulted
Speaker 1: twice in a row, but she does she doesn't, and
Speaker 1: then she laps his hand and then the whole crowd laughs,
Speaker 1: proving that women are funny. This is pretty cool. It was,
Speaker 1: and it is kind of cool that she saves him,
Speaker 1: like a rolls or reverse, that woman saves the man.
Speaker 1: She's a good with some exception like getting too horny
Speaker 1: to read a book. Who hasn't I'm like, I could
Speaker 1: think of an example of maybe a time that that
Speaker 1: has happened to me. But she's a pretty good character.
Speaker 1: But this is I think like symptomatic of blockbusters of
Speaker 1: you know, Princess Leia, because we see Evie in a
Speaker 1: very LAist style sex prison where she's like chained to
Speaker 1: the sarcophagus brand and all that, and it's like, we
Speaker 1: have one solid female protagonist and the main problem is
Speaker 1: a all the male characters and be there's one for
Speaker 1: her to talk to, which I feel like it's a
Speaker 1: problem We've come up on this podcast again and again again. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like they had she had no chance there. She
Speaker 1: only could talk to those dudes because there was just
Speaker 1: no And also like, but to be fair, she chose
Speaker 1: that life of adventure and most women don't do that.
Speaker 1: But at one point she's like, I'm not an adventurer.
Speaker 1: I'm a librarian. I'm just like okay, cool, and then
Speaker 1: she passes out on him, and he doesn't. He knows
Speaker 1: that passed out means no, And I think that's really great.
Speaker 1: Who drunk the sand means well? And that's a great
Speaker 1: message for young men like Aristotle who are watching at
Speaker 1: the time. Yeah, because he kisses the air because she's like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna kiss you, and then she passes out and
Speaker 1: then and so he just like he kisses the air
Speaker 1: because you knows he can't kiss her. Great, even more
Speaker 1: assault than he's already assaulted her. Well, what happened. What
Speaker 1: they were trying to show is that he was like
Speaker 1: the bad boy and then she kind of like made
Speaker 1: him a good boy. She fixed him. She fixed him.
Speaker 1: I think that that's impressive because I this is not
Speaker 1: a protagonist that jumped out to me as I could
Speaker 1: fix him, and I think I could fix almost everybody. Brendan,
Speaker 1: he's a wild I wouldn't want to leash that Bengal tiger,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. She also wasn't trying to
Speaker 1: fix him. It just happened, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: She was very busy and very excited about all of
Speaker 1: the history around her, and she wasn't even trying to
Speaker 1: She was horny for history. She was horny for history
Speaker 1: and he was He was horny adjacent. She was like
Speaker 1: no woman he's ever met. Now I'm putting plotlines in that. Well,
Speaker 1: we don't even know if he's ever met a woman before.
Speaker 1: We've never seen him in a scene with another woman.
Speaker 1: She could be his first woman that he's met. Maybe
Speaker 1: now there's a movie, let's talk about it. I'm thinking
Speaker 1: Ricky Gervais for the lead. I wanted to talk a
Speaker 1: little bit about the scene on the boat where one
Speaker 1: while she does save Brendan Fraser from being hanged, then
Speaker 1: he has to go and save her because he's bad.
Speaker 1: Guys on the boat who are like the guardians of
Speaker 1: the exact who they were lost city. Okay, they're just
Speaker 1: trying to keep that money in right, I think. Cool. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So they come in attack and she gets saved by
Speaker 1: Brandon and then he's like he picks her up, throws
Speaker 1: her into the water. What ocean would that have been.
Speaker 1: I don't think it was an ocean. I think it
Speaker 1: was the Nile. That's when my mom went swimming in
Speaker 1: the Nile. Really, that's cool. It's go on an expedition
Speaker 1: and dig up some bones. That's what I call sex
Speaker 1: going on an expedition. Wow, it sounds like you're doing phones.
Speaker 1: But then I actually, I'm sorry, I'm not digging them up.
Speaker 1: I'm burying those bones. If you catch your sting men
Speaker 1: and burying their penises, I got it with my vagina
Speaker 1: with your whoa, So you're vagina is the dog? Like, okay,
Speaker 1: I think I was thinking if you're a vagina is
Speaker 1: the shovel. Oh yeah, I guess So you know what's
Speaker 1: interesting about this movie? So he keeps saving her with
Speaker 1: her his muscles, and she keeps saving him with her
Speaker 1: wit and knowledge. Perfect exchange between them is one of
Speaker 1: my favorites where Brendan Frascher's character is insistent on being
Speaker 1: a fucking weird idiot, where she goes, you know your history,
Speaker 1: and he says, I know my treasures to double down
Speaker 1: and like, I'm a fucking idiot. I'm not smart, which
Speaker 1: I appreciate. I love it when a man's like, guess what,
Speaker 1: I'm not smart. Yeah, I'm stupid, and it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: usually you're right. That brings me to the scene whenever
Speaker 1: they're trying to haggle with the guy who's selling them
Speaker 1: camels and like no, we only went Flora camels. And
Speaker 1: then Brendan Frascher's like, well, we could have gotten them
Speaker 1: for free. All you needed to do was give them
Speaker 1: your sister, suggesting that Jonathan should have sold Lynn. I
Speaker 1: think at the camel, I think even worse than that
Speaker 1: that it was just Brennan making a joke, which is
Speaker 1: even worse. You don't even like I don't even think
Speaker 1: he was real about that, but he was just like, like,
Speaker 1: I hate when dudes make jokes. Are bad at cond
Speaker 1: They're so bad at a great at comedy. Men are bad.
Speaker 1: I hate you're just the fact. I hate to come
Speaker 1: to Brendon's defense, but what a compliment to be worth
Speaker 1: four whole camel? I mean like most men would be like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, like on the Camel rating system, fourth pretty
Speaker 1: high if you're like using the humps as measurement, like,
Speaker 1: but women have a bunch of humps. If we remember
Speaker 1: from that, what a great album? Check it out? Then
Speaker 1: you can't see that laugh anyway, Yes, true, Jimmy, camels
Speaker 1: are each of us worth. I'm a four camel girl.
Speaker 1: Trust me. I've been with men who have tried to
Speaker 1: sell me for our camels and He's like, I'll take
Speaker 1: no four cigarettes. I'll take the lesson four cigarettes or
Speaker 1: this one not even speaking in cartons, like my girlfriend,
Speaker 1: if you give me four cigarettes, she's your girlfriend. Now.
Speaker 1: I would never date a smoker. Okay I did once
Speaker 1: actually get mean, not just smoke shame everyone. We're gonna
Speaker 1: get some emails about this. You guys are smoke shamers.
Speaker 1: And this is a really nice shirt that my only
Speaker 1: smoker boyfriend got me. Worth it? What is it? White
Speaker 1: men can't jump? Wit men can't jump? Cool? Yeah, I've
Speaker 1: never seen that movie. It's good. It's good. It's a
Speaker 1: good movie. Check it out. He also gave me the
Speaker 1: chicken d I'll link you to his Facebook profile. You ye,
Speaker 1: shout out. As long as we're talking about boys still,
Speaker 1: I think the podcast is going great. The next thing
Speaker 1: I wanted to bring up was Mr. Is Me, who's
Speaker 1: real actor's name we don't know, but we know him
Speaker 1: as Mrs May from Titanic. He's sort of with this
Speaker 1: other group of Americans, Americans. They're the Americans. Right off,
Speaker 1: I was just saying a line from Titanic. I heard
Speaker 1: it at the end of the first VHS, one of
Speaker 1: our favorite lines of course, and he is referring to
Speaker 1: Brendan and friends, and he's like, they're led by a woman.
Speaker 1: What is a woman now, which is obviously to like
Speaker 1: show that like, we're not rooting for these guys. They're
Speaker 1: they're bad and they say horrible things like that, and
Speaker 1: they're wrong. They're wrong because in the next scene, Evelyn
Speaker 1: says she's basically rattling off all the things she knows
Speaker 1: about hieroglyphs and the legends and mythology. Everybody knows treasurer
Speaker 1: but she knows history knowledge, but they doesn't know ed.
Speaker 1: But so the problem is, like he like, they're led
Speaker 1: by a woman. What does a woman know? And then
Speaker 1: in a few scenes later, Brendan Fetchers like he's talking
Speaker 1: to Evelyn and he's like, why are you here? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it's like, um, because she's helping your expedition, you
Speaker 1: motherfucker well, And she does, I mean almost at every
Speaker 1: opportunity she has to stand up for herself, and he
Speaker 1: does stand up for herself, which is why I think
Speaker 1: she's a good character. She's always advocating for how smart
Speaker 1: she really does seem to be, even though it's not
Speaker 1: plot relevant very often. And she also is like, do
Speaker 1: you think she's a suffragette. It's around that time. I
Speaker 1: don't think she thinks she has the right to vote,
Speaker 1: and it's a damn shame. So while her her strength
Speaker 1: is knowledge and she knows a lot about history, specifically
Speaker 1: ancient Egyptian history, but she seems to have some huge
Speaker 1: blind spots in her knowledge because she doesn't because she
Speaker 1: doesn't know enough to not read from a book called
Speaker 1: the Book of the Dead. She was too, because that's
Speaker 1: what awakens the mummy. I like that you have known that.
Speaker 1: I mean she doesn't believe in things she can't see.
Speaker 1: She said, that's true, anything would come up. She wasn't
Speaker 1: super It's weird because she is superstitious at certain parts
Speaker 1: of the movie, and then another part she's like, I
Speaker 1: don't believe it, and yeah, like she she's like, no,
Speaker 1: there's rumors that this city is trial. She says in
Speaker 1: the beginning, She's like, if I don't see, I don't
Speaker 1: believe it. And it's like Eve, one must pick. But
Speaker 1: the scene where she steals the book I loved because
Speaker 1: she steals it from this guy who's like drunk, he
Speaker 1: passes out. She takes is that Mrs Name oh god,
Speaker 1: I think he made it his headlines thank you, that
Speaker 1: was for you. And then she brings it over to
Speaker 1: Brendan and Brendan's like, it seems like he's joking. He's like,
Speaker 1: don't read the monk. Don't. They're flirting, right, but then
Speaker 1: once she reads it and something bad happens, He's like,
Speaker 1: I told you not to read the book. Like you
Speaker 1: were flirting with her, you would have read it if
Speaker 1: you could read. He was he was being manipulative. He's like, hey,
Speaker 1: I don't she I told her. I told her not
Speaker 1: to read the book. And she's like I'm sorry. And
Speaker 1: then and then Mr is May is like in the
Speaker 1: right even though he's like the dumb alcoholic where he's like,
Speaker 1: we told her not to read the book. I feel
Speaker 1: like every dumb man in the scene ends up being right,
Speaker 1: and that's frustrating. I feel like there's a lot of
Speaker 1: like in this movie, characters who should are the bad guys,
Speaker 1: but then they're the good guys, and then they're the
Speaker 1: bad guys. Like I feel like there's a lot of mix. Yeah,
Speaker 1: fid you know more like real life? This is like
Speaker 1: what did he eat? The documentary? Because we're like chef
Speaker 1: salad next in there. What do you guys think happens
Speaker 1: in the Mummy Returns? I think he comes back. Have
Speaker 1: you seen it? Do you know? Only did he nod?
Speaker 1: He like gave this like stupid moment. You bitches haven't
Speaker 1: seen the Mummy Returns? Uh? Well, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: mean we're using for a yardstick of a movie. I
Speaker 1: have seen the return of Jaffar. Jaffar returns in that one,
Speaker 1: so one might assume the Mommy returns that Jafar returns.
Speaker 1: Then I used to have a crush on Jaffar. Jaffar
Speaker 1: is hot, the which animals, Jaffar the evil, the evil brother. Uncle,
Speaker 1: who's from? You have said every Disney movie? That's not
Speaker 1: a lab far right? He is he the parrot? No,
Speaker 1: he's the good cat right, that's Oh, it's the bad guy. Yes. Oh,
Speaker 1: I don't know why I thought it was ana. I
Speaker 1: think we should start a podcast about straight to video sequels.
Speaker 1: You guys should do like mini shows that are just
Speaker 1: sequels and you don't have a guest. Maybe m It's
Speaker 1: not a bad idea. I claimed the copyright for them,
Speaker 1: but you guys can have it, but just always give
Speaker 1: me credit. Credit at the top. The director of the Mummy,
Speaker 1: Stephen Summers, has an impressive resume if you were an
Speaker 1: aggro white dude who wants to be leading a movie.
Speaker 1: He wrote, wrote, he wrote and did the Mummy Good
Speaker 1: for him here, and he also wrote The Mummy Returns
Speaker 1: Juries out on what Happened. He also wrote Revenge of
Speaker 1: the Mummy, The Ride. He wrote the roller Coaster video
Speaker 1: Road the roller Coaster too. I bet he is on
Speaker 1: the rolle riding the roller coaster that one when that
Speaker 1: would make sense, know that if it's like the Mummy,
Speaker 1: there's fire and a jump scare and then you go
Speaker 1: backwards like there's like a a grama Brendan Fraser at
Speaker 1: the end of Fraser comes at the end and says,
Speaker 1: unbuckle your seat, exactly what sex with Me is like.
Speaker 1: And then he wrote The Mummy, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor,
Speaker 1: and then he also wrote G I Joe, The Rise
Speaker 1: of Cobra. Okay, he mixed it up there and Van
Speaker 1: helsing that really bad one. The next thing I wanted
Speaker 1: to talk about was I'm here to keep it. It's
Speaker 1: not even irrelevant thing. I know. I'm not. I'm not.
Speaker 1: I'm good I'm doing good, you're doing great. Okay. What scene.
Speaker 1: So it's after they've unleashed the Mummy. They go back
Speaker 1: to the city I think Cairo maybe, yeah, probably a
Speaker 1: good bet. And they're in a hotel, I think, and
Speaker 1: they're like, all right, we're gonna have to go back
Speaker 1: because we really suck this up. We're gonna have to
Speaker 1: go fix it. Brendan Fraser does not want Evelyn to
Speaker 1: go along, so he picks her up and then he
Speaker 1: throws her on a bed and then he locks her
Speaker 1: in a room. And to be fair, she's very she's
Speaker 1: very angry about it, and she's fighting back. She's like,
Speaker 1: I can't know, I want to go with you, guys,
Speaker 1: don't don't leave me here. But it was just like,
Speaker 1: come on, Brendon, do you don't have to pick her
Speaker 1: up and hurl her across the room? He had he
Speaker 1: had to her. There are so many scraps that gets
Speaker 1: into in this movie. If someone would just let her
Speaker 1: hold a gun. She never holds a gun. Does she
Speaker 1: ever hold agun? There's a scene where they're in like
Speaker 1: they're like around the campfire and like a noise happened.
Speaker 1: So he's like, hold this and he shoves the rifle
Speaker 1: in her hands, but then he comes back and gets it.
Speaker 1: In most scenes, Brendan Fraser has two guns. He's not
Speaker 1: a pouch full of weapons. Wait and talk about your
Speaker 1: gun theory. So I have not a theory. These are
Speaker 1: fats um. So I started counting the number of times
Speaker 1: where there's a scene in the movie where a character
Speaker 1: either pulls out a gun or the scene starts and
Speaker 1: guns are already drawn or are being fired. And this
Speaker 1: this is just scenes. So it's like, not even the
Speaker 1: number of times this happens. This is just scenes where
Speaker 1: this happens in. Within a scene, it could happen. I
Speaker 1: feel like they put them away and they're like, actually
Speaker 1: gonna come come back out again. So this is strictly
Speaker 1: just the scenes that this happens in. It is I
Speaker 1: counted twenty one scenes in the movie where characters like, hey,
Speaker 1: it's been seven seconds since I've drawn a gun. Better
Speaker 1: do it again. There's only eight scenes in this movie.
Speaker 1: The joke is that weapons don't kill the mommy, So
Speaker 1: what the funk? Exactly that's true. They only kill each
Speaker 1: other with a weapon. Man, It's like once a gun
Speaker 1: is used to shoot a scare beetle once it's used
Speaker 1: to shoot the mirrors, to just tilt the mirror so
Speaker 1: that the light they like the reflections, so like guns
Speaker 1: are used. The thing that really bummed me out about
Speaker 1: Evie was I was on her side. There were shitty
Speaker 1: she was being assaulted all the time, but at least
Speaker 1: she had a character. She had a set of skills
Speaker 1: and knowledge and like she was a capable female protagonist
Speaker 1: until like the last half hour where she's pretty effectively
Speaker 1: taken out of action, until at the end of the
Speaker 1: movie where she's like this is where like the Damsel
Speaker 1: in Distress line comes in, where she's taken by the
Speaker 1: bald guy a k a. The Mommy them. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: the mommy poor Man's Billy Zane. This is called the
Speaker 1: bald guy. And then the bald guy returns, not to
Speaker 1: be confused with the bald women rule the bald Guy
Speaker 1: to the Dragon Emperor. Right cool, because she's like strapped
Speaker 1: to a slab. She's like in Princess Leah, like she's
Speaker 1: put in a hot outfit and restrained. Where was that from?
Speaker 1: A right? I wish she had underneath? Oh yeah, it's
Speaker 1: like did he just They're like, we've got some we've
Speaker 1: got a wardrobe in this pyramid like there because it
Speaker 1: fits just so, but that that sucks. Like watching basically
Speaker 1: the whole bimactic scene where she's literally in the center
Speaker 1: of the screen beside a dead woman, beside a dead
Speaker 1: woman changed the first thing able to participate ever seen
Speaker 1: two women together one is dead money. And then Brendan Fraser,
Speaker 1: who I cannot imagine was trained in any way for
Speaker 1: these fights because he just seems to be you know,
Speaker 1: flailin flailin Fraser, just lunging at probably like tennis balls
Speaker 1: on sticks that weren't real c g I mummies yet
Speaker 1: and he's like, uh, um, he did kind of help
Speaker 1: save the thing because her dumb, dumb brother couldn't read
Speaker 1: the thing. She was trying to tell him, does it
Speaker 1: look like a bird a stork? And then she's like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's this word and then true. But she is in
Speaker 1: that moment still pretty helplessive and helpless. Um, but I
Speaker 1: did at least she was doing. I wrote that down too,
Speaker 1: and like, well, at least she participated. She wasn't like
Speaker 1: forgetting all of her skill set for you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, Like when they're just like Negate the fact
Speaker 1: that she has any skills whatsoever for the sake of
Speaker 1: damsel in distress. Yeah, she does have skills. I just
Speaker 1: hate that that they like like she should have saved him.
Speaker 1: That should have been the twist. Well because at the
Speaker 1: end I and he had like one hand free, and
Speaker 1: you know in that skeleton, mummy hand grabs something and
Speaker 1: then grabs the mummy hand. And I thought that she
Speaker 1: was going to do like the final blow and would
Speaker 1: get the mommy, But she doesn't, write Brendan Fraser takes
Speaker 1: a dead person's hand and does it trigger. I mean, overall,
Speaker 1: the men in the story, which is of them, are
Speaker 1: overall consumed by greed and they mostly resort to violence,
Speaker 1: whereas the one woman character who we see generally has
Speaker 1: integrity and she provides a lot of information that's necessary
Speaker 1: for the progression of the story. And she is kind
Speaker 1: of active, and I mean like different things she does
Speaker 1: or different bits of information that she says, let's the
Speaker 1: story move forward. She participates. She participates. Wow, we really lowered.
Speaker 1: You know, it could be better, it could be worse.
Speaker 1: She doesn't have one of those moments that I always
Speaker 1: talked about in Hate and Summer Blockbusters where the one
Speaker 1: female protagonist does something and goes told, you boys, look
Speaker 1: like I just kicked something really hard and it broke.
Speaker 1: And then they're like, oh, we're so areny, Like so
Speaker 1: that was good. She just did what she was good
Speaker 1: at and no one was like, oh that, although there
Speaker 1: is a moment where um, this is after the Mummy
Speaker 1: has like captured her and taken her and like he's
Speaker 1: bringing her back to the City of the Dead, and
Speaker 1: the Mummy is like making this big sandstorm and the
Speaker 1: plane flying into it, and the ball guys always be
Speaker 1: making sandstorms, and the sandstorm is like overcoming the plane
Speaker 1: that there are all in that, like Brendan Fraser and
Speaker 1: all those guys are in and she's like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: they're about to die. She's you're going to kill them.
Speaker 1: So to distract the Mummy, she goes up to him
Speaker 1: and it's like, oh, she about to punch him. She's
Speaker 1: about to kick him in the balls, like to make
Speaker 1: him lose his concentration. Instead, she kisses him, which like,
Speaker 1: I have conflicting feelings about because on one hand, I'm like, yes,
Speaker 1: I too. Whenever I can try to use my sexuality
Speaker 1: to confuse and distract men, but that's not like were
Speaker 1: you taught that from movies like The Mommy. Probably I
Speaker 1: would have rather. I would have rather she had gone
Speaker 1: up to him and like punched him in the face
Speaker 1: or punched him in the dick. But she's really adds
Speaker 1: that's what she's Fraser did. She's doing a kiss is
Speaker 1: a stun gun, right, Yeah, she's she learned that assault
Speaker 1: trick from her so she can beat Then she and
Speaker 1: Brendan Fraser do share a consensual kiss at the very end,
Speaker 1: little bit too long for me, I mean, and for
Speaker 1: her brother. He was in having a right because then
Speaker 1: he's like, maybe I should kiss this camel, which I
Speaker 1: think would have been a really groundbreaking moment for cinema.
Speaker 1: Hat he kissed the camel? Are right? Yeah, totally, especially
Speaker 1: if that camel was a dude, which is what he
Speaker 1: wanted to Yeah, that was implied. I really hate that.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's like, why don't you just be gay
Speaker 1: and not make this a thing very heteronormative movie. It's
Speaker 1: like it's like Michelle and Gilmore Girls the original run.
Speaker 1: It's like, let's just say I know, because it's just
Speaker 1: like it's after a while if you have a gay
Speaker 1: character in the mix long enough and don't say it.
Speaker 1: It almost becomes worse, like we're just totally everyone else
Speaker 1: is fucking right and left. Like, let's acknowledge this character. Clearly,
Speaker 1: they're always hot. Let's let him fuck totally. Thank god
Speaker 1: he found his partner. Yes, Frederick, I have nothing to
Speaker 1: contribute to this conversations. I've not seen that show. I
Speaker 1: love that so much. It's mye of the Indiana Jones movies.
Speaker 1: I was too busy watching Gilmore Girls, probably almost as
Speaker 1: many times as I've seen The Drinks. Okay, I have
Speaker 1: a question about the Bechdel tests in this movie. Tying
Speaker 1: all the themes together, does this movie actually pass the
Speaker 1: beck Del test? Because the two women fought each other
Speaker 1: for quite a long time in the tomb. I don't
Speaker 1: know how. I don't know if they even exchange one word,
Speaker 1: but they were certainly fighting, and it wasn't over a man.
Speaker 1: It was about being alive. Well, they're interacting, but because
Speaker 1: they're not speaking, pass there at least there are two
Speaker 1: I mean, congratulations to this movie for having two women
Speaker 1: in the same scene, but yeah, that's all we get
Speaker 1: out of this one. So no, it doesn't pass the test.
Speaker 1: I would say that it does not what's going on?
Speaker 1: What being weird? Yeah? Oh, I think you're being fine,
Speaker 1: But I guess I don't hang out with you as much.
Speaker 1: Even though that said, I keep trying to hang out.
Speaker 1: I keep texting and you're like, I'm busy. Sorry. I
Speaker 1: love how Canadian your story. I wasn't going to point
Speaker 1: it out. What I appreciate weird? Okay, actually, okay, So
Speaker 1: let's just because I thought maybe it passed the Bechdel
Speaker 1: test because she fought with the female money and that
Speaker 1: was quite a long time, and that wasn't over a boy.
Speaker 1: But well, words are not exchanged, which is one of
Speaker 1: the caveats of the Backdel tests. I mean, they got
Speaker 1: so closely, just forgot to write lines. Maybe there was
Speaker 1: some dialogue and it just ended up on the cutting
Speaker 1: room floor, but that was the only opportunity. There was
Speaker 1: literally no other women in the movie, not even extra
Speaker 1: don't even in the crowded scenes. One of those weird
Speaker 1: Hollywood movies where it's like women don't exist here. Evie
Speaker 1: is Smurfette, and we don't know, we don't know how
Speaker 1: this world came to exist. Yeah, right, it's crazy. How
Speaker 1: did they repopulate are a worms? No, do you think
Speaker 1: passes the vital test? I would guess not, just to
Speaker 1: talk to the mom. Oh no, I don't think Aladdin does.
Speaker 1: Aladdin doesn't. I don't because she's the only girl, right,
Speaker 1: except for like women in the streets, the ones who
Speaker 1: are so horny for Aladdin. They're like pushing their tips
Speaker 1: together and they're like, yeah, but those are just creations
Speaker 1: of the genie. Those aren't even real women creation. Man,
Speaker 1: do you think that on the roller coaster of the
Speaker 1: Return of the Money there it passes the Bechtel tests?
Speaker 1: Like women on that roller coaster talking about there's no
Speaker 1: one in on the roller coaster. Except if we were
Speaker 1: on the roller coaster doing a live podcast, which, hey,
Speaker 1: let's do it. That roller coaster could pass the vital
Speaker 1: test if we were not talking about if we weren't
Speaker 1: gossiping about boys on the money roller coaster. Let's talk
Speaker 1: about politics, a female politicians. I know that history is
Speaker 1: not science, technology or mathematics or whatever the E stands
Speaker 1: for women's STEM, but I want to I'm going to
Speaker 1: give it to her. I think that Evie is a
Speaker 1: woman in stem because like for her, she said, well,
Speaker 1: she's a woman in well, yeah, she's a woman in
Speaker 1: like sheem but she's history but isn't isn't like anthropology
Speaker 1: a type of science, like a social science, archeology and
Speaker 1: any social science. Yes, so it counts. Yeah, well done,
Speaker 1: totally team effort. I was a doubter, but now I'm
Speaker 1: a believer. Yeah. Does anyone have any final thoughts about
Speaker 1: the movie that they want to share? I loved the
Speaker 1: Return of Jaffar. Was a really fun movie. Unfortunately doesn't
Speaker 1: pass the Backtel test. But in conclusion, Farrell Fraser ruled,
Speaker 1: I love Brendan Fraser. I don't love Rick O'Connell. No
Speaker 1: he's not. Oh my god, he started. It's not his
Speaker 1: best character for sure. No, No, he's got other characters.
Speaker 1: Drive to the Jungle. He was a movie called like
Speaker 1: Bedazzled or something, but like, is that what it's called? Yeah, uh,
Speaker 1: let's write the movie. I don't know out of what.
Speaker 1: Oh well, we have a very prestigious and you know
Speaker 1: it's prestigious when you pronounce it prestigious. A very prestigious
Speaker 1: rating scale on a zero to five nipple scale. Oh right, right, right,
Speaker 1: right now, you've listened to an episode. Sorry, um, so
Speaker 1: we rate the movie based on its portrayal of women
Speaker 1: on the nipple scale. I will go first, I will
Speaker 1: give it a two because Evelyn, just isolating her is
Speaker 1: not a terrible character. I don't especially like her. I'm
Speaker 1: ever going to be like, oh, my favorite character Evelyn
Speaker 1: or anything like that. She does contribute to this story
Speaker 1: generally pretty minimally. But she is probably the smartest character,
Speaker 1: definitely the most knowledgeable about the things that are happening
Speaker 1: in the movie and the history that's relevant to the
Speaker 1: story and everything like that. But she like she keeps
Speaker 1: being tossed around by men. She's being antagonized by men
Speaker 1: a lot of the time. She has to be saved
Speaker 1: a bunch of times, although she does save Brendan Fraser
Speaker 1: a couple of times. But overall, because she's like the
Speaker 1: only woman that has any substantial screen time whatsoever, it's
Speaker 1: just not great, Like let's see more women, Let's give
Speaker 1: her more women. Let's I don't know, also, like give
Speaker 1: her maybe a more cathartic moment at the end, like
Speaker 1: something like a big like oh, I need to last
Speaker 1: minutes of the movie kill Yeah. So because of that,
Speaker 1: um yeah, two nipples. They both belong to the young
Speaker 1: lady at the beginning, the mistress, because I don't know
Speaker 1: if you can see her nipples or not, but somebody, someone,
Speaker 1: someone out there, someone has someone, someone's probably joke saw
Speaker 1: those nips. I'll give it to nipples as well. You
Speaker 1: pretty much said everything I thought about e V. She's again,
Speaker 1: as with all summer blockbusters, she's a fine character. There's
Speaker 1: just no one for her to talk to, and she's
Speaker 1: assaulted several times, which I think is a pretty consistent
Speaker 1: feature in blockbusters to this day. I'm going to give
Speaker 1: my nipples to Farrell Fraser when he's wilder than they're
Speaker 1: probably frothing those nipples there, they're okay, listen, these nips
Speaker 1: are foamy. I give it to foamy nips. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: give it. I honestly, I'm just gonna give it one
Speaker 1: nip because a movie. I didn't like the movie, and UM,
Speaker 1: sorry that we made you watch it. It's not your fault.
Speaker 1: I said I would do it, and I did it,
Speaker 1: and and I'm giving one nipple simply for the outfits. Um,
Speaker 1: and I guess I'll give it to the Mummy because
Speaker 1: he's taken body parts anyways. So yeah, it was how
Speaker 1: many Nipsey hasn't Yeah, I just get he can go
Speaker 1: in his collection. He's like ed guyne Georgia. I would
Speaker 1: just say I would love if this was the point
Speaker 1: in the podcast where you're like, actually, I think I
Speaker 1: watched Georgia everything. Oh man, I watched Return of Your
Speaker 1: Far georg watched Georgia the Jungle. Caitlin did watch The Mommy,
Speaker 1: which is good, Thank God, thank and Aristotle. Aristotle how
Speaker 1: much he loved was shouted literally the highlight of the plot,
Speaker 1: and there was a lot of highlights. Yeah, I've had
Speaker 1: a great time here today. The best time this is
Speaker 1: going in the Hall of Fame. This podcast gets five
Speaker 1: nipples because that's the amount of nipples we gave it.
Speaker 1: You have another thing also, The Mommy returns gave us
Speaker 1: the gift of doing the rock Johnson. That's true. That
Speaker 1: was his breakout role, was it? Yeah? Oh right, he
Speaker 1: was like a pharaoh, a pharaoh Scorpi king. Wait, that
Speaker 1: wasn't even Summer also wrote and directed. So this podcast
Speaker 1: gets five nipples. There's five nipples at this table. I
Speaker 1: only have one, so it's all good. I lost to
Speaker 1: pull the frost bite to froth by it. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: cracked myself up well known a few weeks if that
Speaker 1: was actually funny or not, it was. I'm drunk off
Speaker 1: of this plastic now. You know. We are on your
Speaker 1: boozy news. We get so wasted so quick. Well hey,
Speaker 1: speaking of that, let's first of all, Georgian, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for being here, right, absolutely pleasure, Thank you
Speaker 1: for having me. Where can people find you online? Um,
Speaker 1: Georgia Brooks dot com. It's my homepage. Great and um
Speaker 1: I'm also at Georgia Brooks on all the things. And
Speaker 1: are you still laughing at frost? Is it frost or
Speaker 1: did you think my audition was funny? I'm laughing because
Speaker 1: you said frost bite. Thank god? Thank I mean, like,
Speaker 1: I couldn't have done it without you. It's true, it's
Speaker 1: jam was so funny, but then you it. It's like
Speaker 1: yes and ended is please come see our improv team,
Speaker 1: the Return of Jafar. Yeah, it's full of lions. It's
Speaker 1: basically the like our team is called the Return of Jaffar,
Speaker 1: but we just show up and we watched The Lion King. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: oh my god. Okay, So your website um oh yeah,
Speaker 1: and then download your booze your news. It's with me
Speaker 1: and Blake Wexler and Stephen Ray Morris is our producer,
Speaker 1: but he's like on it all the time, talking and
Speaker 1: we get really drunk and then we do the news
Speaker 1: and I listened to it. It's very funny. It's such
Speaker 1: a depressing time right now. It's literally the only thing
Speaker 1: I'm doing right now that I'm proud of. Wow. Yeah,
Speaker 1: listen to that. Follow that and and follow my cat,
Speaker 1: follow your Cato spins Joe Joe underscore Sphinx because he's
Speaker 1: got no fur and he's got a sister named Sage.
Speaker 1: I'm hooked. Yeah, I'm gonna follow right now. Please do.
Speaker 1: It's so worth your time. Well, I think we're gonna
Speaker 1: come away from this better people deaf Yeah, okay, Bud,
Speaker 1: I'm great. Georgia, thanks again. We'll have you back. This
Speaker 1: has been a blast. And m hey bye bye bye