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Speaker 1: Change is never comfortable.

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Speaker 2: Deadass, However, the caveats you need to be uncomfortable to change.

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Speaker 3: M hm hm hmmm, deadass. Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm

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Speaker 3: Devoured and we're the Ellis's.

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Speaker 4: You may know us from posting funny videos with our.

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Speaker 2: Voice and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy.

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Speaker 4: Wait, I make you need therapy most days.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 3: Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.

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Speaker 1: Yes, sir, we are.

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Speaker 4: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of

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Speaker 4: li's most taboo topics.

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Speaker 3: Things most folks don't want to talk about.

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Speaker 4: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass

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Speaker 4: is a term that we say every day. So when

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Speaker 4: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred

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Speaker 4: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

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Speaker 4: We about to take philosof to our whole new level.

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Speaker 3: Dead ass starts right now.

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Speaker 2: Story time all right, story time, growth, mindset, discomfort with chains.

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Speaker 4: I'm actually going to take y'all back to two thousand,

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Speaker 4: twenty four years ago. I was a sixteen year old

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Speaker 4: sophomore in high school and I was starring a basketball team,

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Speaker 4: had good grades. I'm like yo, I'm going to go

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Speaker 4: play college basketball and make my life whatever it is.

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Speaker 4: But at the time, basketball was my way out. I

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Speaker 4: didn't know anything else. I'm like, if I play sports

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Speaker 4: well enough and I can get a scholarship, I can

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Speaker 4: do basketball. I'm playing. In the game, kid goes for

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Speaker 4: a layup. I blocked the ball. Boom, get the rebound,

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Speaker 4: come back down, dunk it. I'm sixteen years old at

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Speaker 4: the time, I'm only like five to nine, right. Football

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Speaker 4: coach comes over to me after the game. He goes, hey,

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Speaker 4: you ever thought about playing football? No, I'm five nine,

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Speaker 4: one hundred and thirty two pounds.

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Speaker 1: Like, I'm not.

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Speaker 4: I'm not playing football. I'm not tackling nobody. This was

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Speaker 4: coach Ish, who you know, you know Ish. He was

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Speaker 4: just like, eight, bro, show me how many five nine

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Speaker 4: guys are in the NBA right now.

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Speaker 1: I was like, said exactly.

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Speaker 4: He said, I couldn't nobody exactly. I said, but I

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Speaker 4: can show you a ton of guys playing football. He said,

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Speaker 4: I can guarantee you go to school for free music

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Speaker 4: to my yeah, because at the time, I wasn't. I

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Speaker 4: wasn't thinking pro athlete. I wasn't I was thinking change

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Speaker 4: my circumstance. I don't want to be in Brooklyn. I

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Speaker 4: want to go somewhere else. I want to get a

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Speaker 4: higher education. I had a plan.

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Speaker 1: So he was out. He you go to school for free.

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Speaker 1: I said, cool.

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Speaker 4: He says, you got to play football. He said, you

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Speaker 4: play receiver. You'll go in between the numbers in the sidelines.

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Speaker 4: That's all I need you for. I need you anywhere inside.

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Speaker 4: You don't got to tackle nobody or lies. But in

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Speaker 4: that moment, change started. And it was the most uncomfortable

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Speaker 4: part of my life at fifteen, because now I had

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Speaker 4: to go from being a finesse athlete who everybody knew

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Speaker 4: for playing basketball to being a kid that nobody thought

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Speaker 4: could play football, also being too small realistically to play football.

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Speaker 4: And it took me about a whole year, my whole

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Speaker 4: junior season. Even though I had some success, it was

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Speaker 4: a struggle, like I didn't know much about the game

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Speaker 4: and I didn't know much about developing as a football athlete,

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Speaker 4: and it was hard. It was hard, But during that time,

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Speaker 4: those challenges made me a better person all around, and

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Speaker 4: I grew as a person because of the uncomfortable nature

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Speaker 4: of trying to be a football player. And I became

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Speaker 4: so good at learning how to be comfortable in that

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Speaker 4: uncomfortable nature that it just followed me the rest of

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Speaker 4: my life, and the rest was history. Ended up getting

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Speaker 4: a football scholarship and going to the NFL. But if

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Speaker 4: it wasn't for me being able to be uncomfortable during

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Speaker 4: that change, never would happen, Never would have happened.

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Speaker 3: All right, karaoke time, karaoke time.

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Speaker 2: Yes, So today we're talking about change, things being uncomfortable

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Speaker 2: and baby, when the times get rough and the going

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Speaker 2: gets tough, who else do we lean on but the

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Speaker 2: Lord fact. So that being said, this is the song

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Speaker 2: you got for today? What a fellowship? Okay, a joy

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Speaker 2: divine leaning on?

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Speaker 1: Get do you get? Tell you to a Baptist.

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Speaker 3: No, we're saying this very dryly.

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Speaker 2: It was more like a what a fellowship? It was

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Speaker 2: that joy divine leaning.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: My church was very we didn't clap or anything. I

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Speaker 2: know things are different now, but when I was growing

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Speaker 2: up in an Adventist church, everything.

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Speaker 4: Was very Yes, oh that's why you was going so slow.

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Speaker 1: Not in the Baptist church.

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Speaker 2: Everything session what a blessed what a peace of mind?

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Speaker 2: Leaning on the everlasting arms?

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Speaker 4: Leaning y'all heard the double club that double clap off

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Speaker 4: beat class, Safe.

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Speaker 2: And secure from all alarms, y'all, leaning on the everlasting arm.

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Speaker 1: Those those words mean a lot.

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Speaker 4: Let's take they take a quick break, and then we'll

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Speaker 4: come back and discuss why those words are so important.

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Speaker 2: What have I to dread? What have I to fear?

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Speaker 2: Leaning on the everlasting? Maybe it's a word. We'll be back,

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Speaker 2: all right, So let's unpack the story time a little bit.

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Speaker 2: The question that came to mind when you were talking

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Speaker 2: about the story and talking about the discomfort you felt

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Speaker 2: having to learn this new way of doing things. How

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Speaker 2: different do you think your life would have been if

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Speaker 2: you did not lean into that being a lesson so

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Speaker 2: early on when you were younger, like you were able

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Speaker 2: to see that, Wow, I made this change in a

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Speaker 2: season of discomfort, and it gave me this product. So

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Speaker 2: is that something that you just felt like you were

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Speaker 2: going to continue to do moving forward because of that

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Speaker 2: one situation or you just felt like it was always

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Speaker 2: in you to want.

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Speaker 3: To do that.

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Speaker 4: No, that one situation showed me that in order to elevate,

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Speaker 4: you have to be willing to deal with discomfort. For example,

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Speaker 4: your star at a sport at fifteen. Everyone knows you

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Speaker 4: for that sport. It's easy to say I'm going to

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Speaker 4: stick with this because I'm good at this, But then

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Speaker 4: you also have to realize that, well, I may be

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Speaker 4: good at this, but do I have the natural gifts

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Speaker 4: and talents?

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Speaker 1: Even if I worked hard?

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Speaker 4: And you can't be six ' eight, even if I

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Speaker 4: worked hard, will this sport take me to a place

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Speaker 4: where I see my life going? And sometimes leaning on

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Speaker 4: the everlasting mom is also lever lasting arm is listening

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Speaker 4: when God put someone in your life to send you

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Speaker 4: a message to say, maybe you might want to try

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Speaker 4: this way. First of all, you have to use discernment

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Speaker 4: to say is this message coming from God? Or is

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Speaker 4: this message from me just seeing something and wanting to

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Speaker 4: do something.

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Speaker 2: Different, trying to fit that square piece into the circle

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Speaker 2: hole kind of thing.

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Speaker 4: I honestly felt like God sent me that message because

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Speaker 4: something about it just seems so right. And even though

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Speaker 4: I knew I was going to be uncomfortable, it was

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Speaker 4: like rock with it. And when I tell you I

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Speaker 4: was uncomfortable. Okay, I had to go to my first

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Speaker 4: football camp. I didn't bring the right clothes, I didn't

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Speaker 4: like contact at the time. I had to hit dudes

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Speaker 4: who are fifty pounds heavier than me. I had to

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Speaker 4: get hit by dudes. I was around a group of people.

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Speaker 4: Even in this time in school when you're popular, in

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Speaker 4: this pockets of popularity, I was not popular amongst the

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Speaker 4: football team. So here I am with a group of

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Speaker 4: guys and maybe only one or two of them Stephen Bofo,

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Speaker 4: who everybody knows now shout out to my boy Bofer

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Speaker 4: from Coney Island. He lives in LA He works in

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Speaker 4: the industry.

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Speaker 1: Now.

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Speaker 4: He always embraced me. One of his friends, actually Cambridge

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Speaker 4: always embraced me. So I had two people on a

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Speaker 4: team of about forty people who embraced me. Everybody else

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Speaker 4: was kind of like, ah, you're a basketball player, you

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Speaker 4: can't do this. But I learned how to be uncomfortable

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Speaker 4: but also respect the craft of what they're doing. And

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Speaker 4: then once I was able to thrive in that field,

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Speaker 4: a field that I didn't think I would be successful in,

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Speaker 4: it showed me that I can do whatever I want

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Speaker 4: as long as I submit myself to God, listen to

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Speaker 4: what God is saying, continue to work, be respectful to

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Speaker 4: whatever the changes that I'm doing, not being arrogant to

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Speaker 4: think that, oh, since I was good at this, I'll

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Speaker 4: then be good at that.

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Speaker 1: It took me a whole year.

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Speaker 3: Trust in the process.

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Speaker 1: Trust in the process.

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Speaker 4: It took me a whole year in high school to

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Speaker 4: figure out the game of football order for me to

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Speaker 4: be successful. When I figured it out, brough a bunch

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Speaker 4: of broke a bunch of records, and became a full

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Speaker 4: scholarship athlete and ultimately an all city or state player.

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Speaker 4: But going through that taught me about change and told

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Speaker 4: me that change was necessary in order to reach my goals.

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Speaker 4: You have a plan, But I say this all the time.

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Speaker 4: The funniest thing you can do in life is tell

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Speaker 4: God where your plan is.

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Speaker 3: I've seen that time and time again.

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Speaker 4: My plan was never to play football. Ever, my brother

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Speaker 4: played football his whole life.

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Speaker 1: I watched him. It was like, this is dumb.

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Speaker 2: I remember meeting you at the Tradeway Field School banquet

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Speaker 2: and you told me that you were a football player,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, okay, I mean cool, if

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Speaker 2: you're playing football, that's awesome. But what I thought, esthetically

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Speaker 2: a football player looked like, you know, I'm looking at

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Speaker 2: NFL players.

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Speaker 3: I was just like, well, I guess I guess he'll

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Speaker 3: grow into it.

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Speaker 1: Huh right, No, seriously, sious, most people did?

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Speaker 4: I mean when you met me, I was five ten,

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Speaker 4: one hundred and forty six pounds.

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Speaker 3: Were you one and forty?

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Speaker 4: When I went to camp that year in August, I

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Speaker 4: weighed I was trying to get to one fifty five.

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Speaker 4: I weighed in at one eight. Oh my goodness, I

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Speaker 4: was I was small and I was tiny.

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Speaker 2: And when we started dating in college, there were all

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Speaker 2: the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches late at night, making

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Speaker 2: bacon eggs and pancakesakes every thirteenth floor. Estebrook hall me

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Speaker 2: just saying, all right, you need to gain how much

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Speaker 2: weight we're just gonna eat?

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Speaker 3: And I gained the weight too. And then what talk

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Speaker 3: about discomfort?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 2: It was comfortable for me the minute it left my lips.

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Speaker 2: I'm like Deville was going to say that it was

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Speaker 2: comfortable for him. I can think of one of my

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Speaker 2: earlier seasons of discomfort, And I think it happens for

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Speaker 2: us around kind of that teenage years or high school

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Speaker 2: years rather, because that's when you kind of start to

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Speaker 2: have an awareness of self. You're starting to not necessarily

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Speaker 2: lean as much on your parents, but you're trying to

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Speaker 2: figure out who you are. So my earliest season of

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Speaker 2: discomfort was when I was graduating from Midwood High School.

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Speaker 2: I was applying to colleges and my track at that

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Speaker 2: point was going to be nursing and eventually pediatrics.

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Speaker 3: I always wanted to be a.

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Speaker 2: Pediatrician, but I think that was just the narrative that

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Speaker 2: I was teaching myself. Having existing in the comfort of

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Speaker 2: the space of medical professionals.

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Speaker 3: That was the mindset that I had.

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Speaker 4: The narrative I taught myself.

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Speaker 2: Yes, the narrative I taught myself because I was existing

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Speaker 2: within a world of medical professionals with my immediate family

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Speaker 2: and surrounding family members, and everyone applauded and revered the

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Speaker 2: idea of Kadeen.

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Speaker 3: Becoming a pediatrician.

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Speaker 2: And it made me think of this more recently because

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Speaker 2: my mom was watching some old videos Florida at my

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Speaker 2: grandma's house and I was giving an introduction of myself

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Speaker 2: to the audience when I was on stage competing for

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Speaker 2: the Miss New York Junior Team title, and I said

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Speaker 2: that I aspire one day to be a pediatrician, and

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Speaker 2: I was just like man. That was back when I

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Speaker 2: was just I told myself that that's what I wanted

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Speaker 2: to speak. It sounded good at the time, and it

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Speaker 2: made sense, and every parent wants their kid to be

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Speaker 2: a doctor, and I was just trying to walk in

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Speaker 2: that purpose of what my family had for me. But

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Speaker 2: the discomfort came in when time came to apply for

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Speaker 2: colleges and I was applying to these pre med and

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Speaker 2: nursing programs and just was not bought into the idea

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Speaker 2: of it. And my comfort was insaying to myself, all right, well,

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Speaker 2: I could just go across the street, because Midwoo High

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Speaker 2: School is here, Brooklyn College is really across the street.

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Speaker 2: I could just like stick around for a year and

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Speaker 2: be in my comfort zone of being on Bedford Avenue

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Speaker 2: and figuring things out for a year while I find

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Speaker 2: a way within this discomfort to tell my family that

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Speaker 2: I don't really want to be a pediatrician. I want

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Speaker 2: to pursue communications. And if I did not stand in

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Speaker 2: that at that age and say I have to let

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Speaker 2: them know that this is not the route that I

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Speaker 2: want for my life, who knows what more discomfort would

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Speaker 2: have been on the other side of that had I

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Speaker 2: not made the decision to say no, I'm going to

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Speaker 2: take reins of my life, and just though it may

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Speaker 2: cause them discomfort in this moment and me discomfort in

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Speaker 2: the end, we're all going to be comfortable with Kadeen

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Speaker 2: is living her dreams. So that was my earliest moment

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Speaker 2: of that. But why do people shot away from change

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Speaker 2: and discomfort? Because when I look at it, mediocrity dwells

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Speaker 2: in comfort. Yes, you know, that's a space where you're okay,

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Speaker 2: just being okay because you're accustomed to or you're used

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Speaker 2: to it. And we see it with a lot of

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Speaker 2: people in relationships. Oh, I've been with this person for

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Speaker 2: X y Z amount of years, so it's comfortable here,

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Speaker 2: even though I may not be happy, And you're willing

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Speaker 2: to dwell within that mediocre situation and ultimately you are uncomfortable,

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Speaker 2: but you're telling yourself that I'm comfortable because I'm used

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Speaker 2: to it.

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Speaker 3: I'm accustomed to this. Remember jobs everything.

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Speaker 4: Remember in prototype, the one thing I should say to

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Speaker 4: these kids all the time, comfort and complacency was the

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Speaker 4: road most traveled to mediocrity. Think about it as a muscle.

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Speaker 4: This is a scientific fact, ladies and gentlemen. In actual

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Speaker 4: this is an actual scientific fact. If you want to

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Speaker 4: see growth in any muscle, you know what you do

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Speaker 4: with the muscle.

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Speaker 3: Stretch it, push it, you.

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Speaker 1: Make it well uncomfortable.

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Speaker 4: Right, Growth in your muscles is uncomfortable, right, You have

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Speaker 4: to break it down to this rarest form. You have

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Speaker 4: to overwork it. You have to push it.

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Speaker 3: You have to feed it.

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Speaker 4: You have to feed you have to work it. There

291
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Speaker 4: are things you have to do. You have to in

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Speaker 4: order to see growth. Your life is no different. When

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Speaker 4: you sit in comfort and you sit in complacency, you

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Speaker 4: will be mediocre your mus and it's easy for you

295
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Speaker 4: to It's easy to even find an analogy because you

296
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:36,720
Speaker 4: said it. Most of the time in life, we like

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00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,320
Speaker 4: condition our own minds with narratives that we hear from

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Speaker 4: other people who are around us. So you was like, O, hey,

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Speaker 4: everybody arouns me's doctor, medical profession. I'm telling myself that's

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Speaker 4: what I want to do because that's what I see.

301
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Speaker 4: So you spend your life telling yourself that, and it's

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Speaker 4: comfortable because you've seen everybody do it.

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Speaker 1: Here's another thing about comfort.

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Speaker 4: It doesn't matter how much money you make in your

305
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Speaker 4: comfort state, you will never be happy. I'll tell you

306
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Speaker 4: right now. I never wanted to be a professional athlete.

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Speaker 4: I wanted to be an entertainment I wanted to be

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Speaker 4: a creator. I wanted to write, direct, produce, and act.

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Speaker 4: I made it to the NFL. I was making a

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Speaker 4: lot of money. I woke up every day like this,

311
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Speaker 4: I practice. You've watched me going through it. And the

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Speaker 4: reason why I say that is because when they say

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Speaker 4: things like money don't find won't bring you happiness, that

314
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Speaker 4: is a fact. I was making a lot of money

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Speaker 4: doing what was comfortable because at that point I had

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Speaker 4: just worked so hard at becoming a football player that

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Speaker 4: being a football player was noisy.

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Speaker 1: It was normal, what's the next step? NFL? I can

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Speaker 1: do that.

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Speaker 4: But then when it was time to leave and it

321
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Speaker 4: was a choice to make, it was like, all right, now,

322
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Speaker 4: not in college, no more, not in the NFL. There's

323
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Speaker 4: no money coming in. I have to make an adjustment

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Speaker 4: with my wife. And the adjustments didn't only come in occupation.

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Speaker 4: It came in location. It also came in relationships because

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Speaker 4: we went from being boyfriend and girlfriend to being fiances,

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Speaker 4: and we were going to go from being fiance to

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Speaker 4: being husband and wife. All of that change was happening

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Speaker 4: at the exact same time you went from being a

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Speaker 4: stay at home girlfriend to now having to get into

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Speaker 4: the workforce. That was uncomfortable for you. So you and

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Speaker 4: I both were going to the going through the most

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Speaker 4: uncomfortable changes in our lives. At the same time, we

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Speaker 4: leaned into each other. Yeah, we leaned into trusting God,

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00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:37,360
Speaker 4: trusting the process, and just believing that what you put

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Speaker 4: out in the universe you will get back tenfold.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And that wasn't easy for us.

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Speaker 2: I mean, we struggled through those changes because in that

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Speaker 2: discomfort and in the change, there's also this feeling of bewilderment,

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00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:51,120
Speaker 2: right because you don't know what to expect, You don't

341
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:52,760
Speaker 2: know what's going to be different, you don't know how

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00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,600
Speaker 2: it's going to affect your life in the long run.

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Speaker 2: And I feel like for us it happens every like,

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Speaker 2: maybe like every five years or so. There's something that

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00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:03,920
Speaker 2: gets uncomfortable for either one of us or as the collective,

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00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,240
Speaker 2: and we just kind of know like, Okay, maybe something

347
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:08,680
Speaker 2: has seen its course, maybe it's time to pivot, maybe

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00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,359
Speaker 2: there's time to do something different. So I implore people

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Speaker 2: to look at every aspect of their life and think

350
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:16,800
Speaker 2: about when something isn't working anymore, or you feel like

351
00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,720
Speaker 2: you've given your all to a particular you know, relationship

352
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,879
Speaker 2: or situation, and then you feel like, damn in this season.

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Speaker 2: I think this season's coming to an end. Sometimes you

354
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,760
Speaker 2: have to lean into that, you have to accept it,

355
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,080
Speaker 2: and you have to figure out how you're going to

356
00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:33,919
Speaker 2: pivot and move. For me, I realize also a big

357
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:39,240
Speaker 2: catalyst for change or discomfort in my life are milestone birthdays.

358
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Speaker 2: I don't know what it is about milestone birthdays, and

359
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,280
Speaker 2: it's almost like every five to ten year, those increments

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Speaker 2: like the five and I can tell you what I

361
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,960
Speaker 2: think it is. I think for me, okay, yeah, for me,

362
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Speaker 2: I know that it forces me to do a reflection

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00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:56,840
Speaker 2: on the previous years and how far I may have

364
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Speaker 2: come in those five or ten years or the entire

365
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Speaker 2: my entire life. So at forty, for example, feeling that

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00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:07,000
Speaker 2: discomfort all of my thirty ninth year because I felt like, man, okay,

367
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,239
Speaker 2: I'm about to be forty. Now, I feel like I

368
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,040
Speaker 2: have to really think about what the rest of my

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Speaker 2: life is going to look like and how I'm going

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Speaker 2: to map that out. What have I been doing in

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00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:18,119
Speaker 2: those past maybe four to five years that wasn't quite

372
00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:20,720
Speaker 2: working or didn't bring me the results that I wanted.

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Speaker 2: How can I now make adjustments in order to make

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00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:26,800
Speaker 2: my forties or to at least forty five better than

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Speaker 2: from thirty five to forty. So that's the way I

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00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:31,040
Speaker 2: see it, and that's normally when I have a season

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Speaker 2: of discomfort is for whatever reason around those mouths, I'm gonna.

378
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:35,639
Speaker 3: Tell you us go ahead and tell me.

379
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:39,640
Speaker 4: This is the reason why women are conditioned a lot

380
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:42,840
Speaker 4: like athletes. What do they tell athletes? Tim run it out,

381
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:44,520
Speaker 4: timing it out? As you get older, you won't be

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00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,320
Speaker 4: able to do this time round. As you get older,

383
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:47,919
Speaker 4: you won't be able to do that. And to be honest,

384
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Speaker 4: they don't say that to men men who work in

385
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:54,160
Speaker 4: fields is enjoy the process, you know, saying you have time,

386
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,479
Speaker 4: get better, get better, you have time. But women, it's

387
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:58,480
Speaker 4: just like are you married by this time? Did you

388
00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:00,840
Speaker 4: have kids by this time? And it's it's like, since

389
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,320
Speaker 4: we condition women from a young age that things have

390
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:05,800
Speaker 4: to happen because of the biological clock. I've noticed that

391
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:09,280
Speaker 4: women are really big on timetables. And there's a reason why.

392
00:19:09,359 --> 00:19:12,920
Speaker 4: There's scientific facts that prove that women who are looking

393
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:15,840
Speaker 4: to have it's biology. Women who are looking to have

394
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:18,600
Speaker 4: families and do things have to get it done at

395
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,199
Speaker 4: a certain age in order to protect their health right.

396
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:23,040
Speaker 4: So part of the reason why you feel like that

397
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:25,960
Speaker 4: with milestone birthdays is because women are conditioned to always

398
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:29,680
Speaker 4: look at age, because athletes to the same way. They

399
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,040
Speaker 4: always tell you when you get to twenty five, now

400
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:35,840
Speaker 4: you old head. Athletes is an old head.

401
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,800
Speaker 3: That's the market for that field.

402
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:39,640
Speaker 1: When you get to thirty, you're ancient.

403
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:43,639
Speaker 4: Anything after thirty for most athletes is where you're downhill

404
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,600
Speaker 4: as far as your athletic performance is going to be.

405
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:48,280
Speaker 4: So you have to learn how to pivot to do

406
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,280
Speaker 4: things a little bit more less athletic. We see it

407
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,840
Speaker 4: with Tom Brady, We seen it with Lebron James and

408
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,560
Speaker 4: Steph Curry. Once they got past thirty. You've been in

409
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:59,000
Speaker 4: the league eight, nine, ten years, then it's like, well,

410
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,640
Speaker 4: what you're going to do now your athleticism is going

411
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:04,280
Speaker 4: even though Lebron's athleticism in the thirties was still at

412
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:04,800
Speaker 4: its peak.

413
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:08,040
Speaker 1: But I say all that to say this. You talked

414
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:08,720
Speaker 1: about pivoting.

415
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,280
Speaker 4: This is a little thing that I noticed about the

416
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,080
Speaker 4: world that I don't think a lot of people notice.

417
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,159
Speaker 4: You always have to be prepared to pivot because we

418
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:21,400
Speaker 4: live in a copycat society. If you find a way

419
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:24,159
Speaker 4: to make money or do something the world is watching,

420
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,760
Speaker 4: you're going to have hundreds of thousands of millionsic people

421
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,280
Speaker 4: then doing the same thing you do. So now there's

422
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,800
Speaker 4: less money to make. Now it's uncomfortable because I was

423
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,159
Speaker 4: doing this and now everyone's doing it. So you always

424
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,880
Speaker 4: have to be prepared to change and grow so that

425
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 4: you can outlast the curve. That is the fact that

426
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:44,680
Speaker 4: you have to always outlast, and I've learned this in sports.

427
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:46,760
Speaker 4: I learned this in sports when I first got to

428
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:48,720
Speaker 4: HOSTRA we were one of the first This was two

429
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,359
Speaker 4: thousand and two. We were one of the first teams

430
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:53,520
Speaker 4: to run the four wide receiver set no huddle in college.

431
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:57,840
Speaker 4: Now every team runs it. Before that, teams are running

432
00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,119
Speaker 4: the wishbone, the wing tea. Everybody was running a ball.

433
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:03,080
Speaker 4: Now they're passing. There's going to be an evolutionary change,

434
00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:04,720
Speaker 4: and it's going to change again, but it's the same

435
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:05,639
Speaker 4: thing throughout life.

436
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,119
Speaker 1: Everyone's running to the medical profession.

437
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,920
Speaker 4: So if everybody's running that, there's less jobs because everyone's

438
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:12,960
Speaker 4: going there, there's a higher fight.

439
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:14,400
Speaker 1: Now they can pay people less money.

440
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:15,679
Speaker 4: It's like, thenk I did all of the stuff that

441
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:18,400
Speaker 4: my parents did, I'm not making anywhere there as money

442
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 4: as they did. Same thing with real estate. When my

443
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:23,359
Speaker 4: parents got into real estate, you could buy a house

444
00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:26,560
Speaker 4: for thirty forty thousand dollars back in the eighties, and

445
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:28,760
Speaker 4: so now it's like, oh, that generation made a ton

446
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:30,680
Speaker 4: of millionaires because they were able to do that. Now,

447
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:33,000
Speaker 4: if you're looking to buy a home, a two thousand

448
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:36,280
Speaker 4: square foot home in Canarsi, seven hundred thousand dollars.

449
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:38,600
Speaker 1: So it's like that.

450
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:42,159
Speaker 4: You can't stay the same and just listen to what

451
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:44,280
Speaker 4: you've been conditioned to by your parents to do what

452
00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:47,600
Speaker 4: they did, because as the world changes, those things are

453
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,920
Speaker 4: not available anymore. You have to have a growth mindset

454
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:53,800
Speaker 4: if you want to continue to prosper and have upward mobility,

455
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 4: because if you just do what everyone else do, then

456
00:21:57,119 --> 00:21:58,760
Speaker 4: just be comfortable, you're going to be mediocre.

457
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:01,240
Speaker 1: And you know what, don't pay mediocrity, don't pay.

458
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:06,840
Speaker 2: It doesn't That was literally our mindset with our live shows. Yes,

459
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:11,520
Speaker 2: find different ways to you know, elevate the experience for y'all.

460
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:14,120
Speaker 2: So if you're at the live show this past, go round,

461
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:14,639
Speaker 2: Shout out to.

462
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:16,120
Speaker 1: Y'all, shout out to yeah time.

463
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:18,480
Speaker 2: Yes, all right, let's jump into some facts sin stats.

464
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:22,160
Speaker 2: Individuals who believe their talents can be developed through hard work,

465
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:26,159
Speaker 2: good strategies, and input from others have a growth mindset.

466
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 2: So ask yourself do you have that? They tend to

467
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:32,800
Speaker 2: achieve more than those with a more fixed mindset, those

468
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:36,400
Speaker 2: who believe that their talents are innate gifts. Hard work

469
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,560
Speaker 2: beats talent when talent doesn't work hard.

470
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 4: But you have to explain to people different between talents

471
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:43,960
Speaker 4: and gifts. Go ahead, tell the gifts are things that

472
00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 4: God has given you that can't be taken away.

473
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:50,560
Speaker 1: For example, you six ' eight right now.

474
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 4: It don't matter how much stretching I do, I will

475
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:55,160
Speaker 4: never in my life be six eight.

476
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:56,440
Speaker 1: That's a gift. Right.

477
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,760
Speaker 4: Talent is a combination between a gift and a skill.

478
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:02,879
Speaker 4: For example, you six ' eight, but you can dribble

479
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:05,600
Speaker 4: with both hands, you can shoot. You've worked on your

480
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 4: apploid metrics so you can jump high. That's a skill.

481
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:13,119
Speaker 4: You combine someone who's talented with a skill set, and

482
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:16,639
Speaker 4: now they've become gifted. There you go everyone is given

483
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:20,680
Speaker 4: a gift. God gives everyone a gift. It's your responsibility

484
00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:23,920
Speaker 4: to find out what that gift is, nurture it, pair

485
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,919
Speaker 4: it with a skill, and then you know what you

486
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,000
Speaker 4: do with that gift. You share it with others.

487
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:29,119
Speaker 3: That is really good.

488
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:30,960
Speaker 1: That's how the coal to mine.

489
00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:33,600
Speaker 2: You're a good people person, You're great with just people

490
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:35,439
Speaker 2: want to be around you. You have a great spirit,

491
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:37,199
Speaker 2: you have this vibrancy about it.

492
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:38,600
Speaker 3: And then you go.

493
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:41,840
Speaker 2: Ahead now and then you well I was speaking generally,

494
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:42,560
Speaker 2: but yes you do.

495
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:44,320
Speaker 1: Oh I thought you're talking about me.

496
00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:46,880
Speaker 2: I was like, because you are actually an example of this.

497
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 2: But you have something good to say. You speak life

498
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,880
Speaker 2: into people. So then we peer that now right with

499
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:55,359
Speaker 2: you then saying you know what, I went to school

500
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 2: for communications. Now I can be a great motivational speaker

501
00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 2: or an oratory aratory just men toward people.

502
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying on a voice addiction classes.

503
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:04,160
Speaker 3: That makes sense.

504
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,399
Speaker 2: Saring the gift, which is just your personality with the

505
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:09,880
Speaker 2: skill and then making it a little bit or making

506
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:12,359
Speaker 2: it something beneficial, or you become a niche market that

507
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:13,399
Speaker 2: people want to buy into.

508
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:15,119
Speaker 3: Right, So that's some good stuff.

509
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:20,240
Speaker 2: People with a growth mindset, they embrace challenges, they exercise less,

510
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,920
Speaker 2: or they experience less stress. Rather, people with growth mindsets

511
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:29,680
Speaker 2: approach challenges with enthusiasm and excitements. This allows them to

512
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:34,840
Speaker 2: transmute fear into motivation instead of letting fear manifest as stress.

513
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 2: That's something I gotta work on personally because I know

514
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 2: sometimes I'll be like, m this change is exciting the

515
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 2: idea of it, but doing the work is like daunting.

516
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:45,880
Speaker 1: But fear is the ultimate motivation.

517
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 4: Think about when I had to do the backflip and

518
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,199
Speaker 4: when you had to do the split right, you was

519
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 4: afraid that something was going to and also embarrass yourself. Yes,

520
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:55,879
Speaker 4: for me, I was afraid I was gonna fall, bust

521
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 4: my ship, and embarrass myself. But that fear motivated me

522
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:03,159
Speaker 4: to work on the skill set so that that doesn't happen.

523
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,119
Speaker 4: Rather than saying the fear is going to make me

524
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 4: run away from it, It's like, hey, this can happen

525
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:09,480
Speaker 4: to it, right, I'm leaning into that. If I'm afraid

526
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 4: of that, let me focus on training and ways. And

527
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:14,080
Speaker 4: this is one of the ways. Remember I said, what

528
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:16,359
Speaker 4: if I get out there and the floor slippery? What

529
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 4: if I get down? I can't see. So since that

530
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 4: was my fear, I went out here.

531
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:23,240
Speaker 3: Did it in any weather, when it was raining, when it.

532
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:26,520
Speaker 4: Was slippery on grass, when it was dry, when it

533
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:28,480
Speaker 4: was hot, when the sun was in the sky, in

534
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:29,280
Speaker 4: type spaces.

535
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:32,600
Speaker 1: So the fear motivated me. It was a challenge me.

536
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 4: The fear motivated me to challenge myself to develop the

537
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:38,120
Speaker 4: skill set, so the skill set so that I don't

538
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:39,720
Speaker 4: have to worry about it when I actually have.

539
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 1: To do it.

540
00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:43,240
Speaker 2: Because life on life Murphy's law. Anything that can't go

541
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:45,679
Speaker 2: wrong with me wrong. So if you are prevered on

542
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:50,440
Speaker 2: any facet for anything, and again it was just repetition, repetition, assistency,

543
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:53,720
Speaker 2: hard work, you can be prepared for anything.

544
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:58,399
Speaker 4: And challenging yourself, finding the challenges in anything you do

545
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 4: to challenge yourself to be greater. Like the backflip was

546
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:04,720
Speaker 4: just a precursor for me to develop that skill set

547
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:06,760
Speaker 4: to do it in front of a live audience. I

548
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:08,280
Speaker 4: wanted to be able to do it in front of

549
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,040
Speaker 4: a live audience so that if I ever have to

550
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:13,959
Speaker 4: perform anything physical in front of a studio, I know

551
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,720
Speaker 4: I've done this in front of a live audience. So

552
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:17,520
Speaker 4: there was always a plan for me. There was a

553
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:19,000
Speaker 4: plan to be able to do this in front of

554
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:20,880
Speaker 4: a live audience. So since I want to be an

555
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 4: action an action actor who does his own stunts, I

556
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,440
Speaker 4: want to be able to say I can deliver this

557
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:29,600
Speaker 4: on time when thousands of people are watching.

558
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 3: On on cue.

559
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 2: I love that often learn new skills, So someone with

560
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:38,480
Speaker 2: a growth mindset often tries to learn new skills. When

561
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 2: you see your weak spots as opportunities for learning, you're

562
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:45,080
Speaker 2: more able to seek out opportunities to foster that learning.

563
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 2: Prime example, people with growth mindsets also are good at

564
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:53,000
Speaker 2: finding new opportunities even if your skills don't exactly line up.

565
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:55,360
Speaker 2: A growth mindset allows you to see what you can

566
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 2: bring to the opportunity as well as what you can

567
00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:59,520
Speaker 2: learn for it. So just putting your own little like

568
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:03,880
Speaker 2: raz as on it is always helpful. Having fostered resilience.

569
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 2: So seeing failure as an opportunity to learn, and we

570
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:11,679
Speaker 2: talk so much it's an opportunity to learn and try again,

571
00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 2: and that's how we learn to be resilience.

572
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 4: So first and foremost, there's no such thing as failure.

573
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 4: The only failure that exists in life is when you quit.

574
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:24,280
Speaker 4: That's what I tell myself it again. There is no

575
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 4: failures in life. The only failure happens is when you quit.

576
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:31,399
Speaker 4: Think about just think about science, right. You create a

577
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:34,159
Speaker 4: hypothesis right. Once you create a hypothesis, you then have

578
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 4: to prove that your hypothesis is true. You prove your

579
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:40,920
Speaker 4: hypothesis is true by failing over and over and over

580
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:44,400
Speaker 4: and over again until you find out how to make

581
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:47,200
Speaker 4: it work. We've watched that in every aspect of life.

582
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 4: That's the way things are done. Just failing is not

583
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:53,720
Speaker 4: a loss, it's a lesson because failure does not exist

584
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 4: to me, I did that wrong? Why did I do

585
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 4: it wrong? How can I correct it? To do it right?

586
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,360
Speaker 4: And an athlete help me develop that. You know when

587
00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:05,000
Speaker 4: you miss a jump shot? You miss a jump shot.

588
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:05,399
Speaker 3: How do you correct?

589
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:07,680
Speaker 1: Was it too long? Was it too short? Right? Left?

590
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,399
Speaker 4: Catching a pass? Why did I catch it? When my

591
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:12,400
Speaker 4: fingers not close enough and my fingers not shown enough.

592
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,920
Speaker 4: Let me develop that. People have to start developing that

593
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:18,119
Speaker 4: mindset where failure does not exist because I'm not quitting.

594
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:20,359
Speaker 2: And that brings me to the next point that says,

595
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,959
Speaker 2: you have higher confidence people with growth mindset, But how

596
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:25,520
Speaker 2: do you develop that confidence. We've gotten that question before.

597
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:27,160
Speaker 2: I think someone even one of the live shows asked

598
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 2: about like, how do you help with being confident in

599
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 2: doing the things that you want to do well? You

600
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 2: have to develop it somehow by being sure of yourself.

601
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,040
Speaker 2: And how are you sure of yourself by practicing from

602
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:38,520
Speaker 2: failure and repetition and working at it. So being able

603
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 2: to approach challenges and learning opportunities with enthusiasm instead of

604
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 2: pessimism keeps your self confidence intact. It actually makes you

605
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 2: feel better about yourself when you know you have achieved

606
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 2: something hard, Like everyone knows what that feels like. I

607
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:54,880
Speaker 2: hope when you really achieve something that you've been working at,

608
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:58,080
Speaker 2: you know absolutely there's a euphori in that, and then

609
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 2: they are receptive to feedback. Good feedback is at the

610
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:06,720
Speaker 2: core of growth. So those who seek feedback from their mentors, collaborators, stakeholders,

611
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,360
Speaker 2: family friends, whoever has valued opinion.

612
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 3: We're not talking about the comment section.

613
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 2: We're not talking about people who've never tried to do

614
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,440
Speaker 2: the things that you're doing. People who actually know and

615
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:18,520
Speaker 2: can give you sound advice. You consider that, and you

616
00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 2: apply the feedback when necessary. You're able to then grow more.

617
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 4: I think you made a valuable point there when you said,

618
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 4: understanding who you're getting feedback from, that's the most important puge.

619
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:32,280
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, Because if you don't trust

620
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 4: the person you're getting feedback from, there's no reason to

621
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 4: listen to them. You should only get feedback from people

622
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:39,920
Speaker 4: who you've built a relationship with. You value that they've

623
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 4: already done what you're trying to do, or you've seen

624
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:45,240
Speaker 4: them have success in an arena that you're trying to

625
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:49,680
Speaker 4: have success in. There was something you said here about feedback.

626
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 4: I've noticed this with people in general. It's easier to

627
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:59,040
Speaker 4: give constructive criticism to people who've been athletes or dancers

628
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 4: or pageants, someone who's existed in a space of competitive

629
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 4: nature through their early teenage to young adult years, because

630
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 4: those are our years where we're are most impressionable, from

631
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:16,840
Speaker 4: like pre adolescents to your early early twenties. Say the

632
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:21,000
Speaker 4: onst a most insecure when you're your most insecure and

633
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:25,400
Speaker 4: you're most malleable and you found a way to let

634
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:28,960
Speaker 4: your ego go and to accept that someone else is

635
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:31,480
Speaker 4: looking to help you. This is why I believe in

636
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 4: keeping our sons in sports or doing most playing in

637
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 4: instruments because you have to learn to trust people. And

638
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:42,960
Speaker 4: I remember playing football and being an arrogant nineteen year

639
00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:45,160
Speaker 4: old kid who just was just like I know I

640
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:47,880
Speaker 4: could do this because and the coach is telling me, like, no,

641
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 4: you only went seven yards. I said, no, I got

642
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:54,240
Speaker 4: ten yards. Well, let's look at the videotape. Deval the

643
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 4: eye in the sky, don't lie. And at nineteen years old,

644
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:03,040
Speaker 4: I saw my self believe. I believe that I was

645
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,840
Speaker 4: at ten yards. And when you watch yourself argue with

646
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:08,480
Speaker 4: someone that you went ten yards and then you watch

647
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:13,040
Speaker 4: yourself only go seven, it's like, coach, what'd you said

648
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:15,240
Speaker 4: I could do to help get to ten yards? Absolutely,

649
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 4: and then you let that ego go and you start

650
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:20,400
Speaker 4: to watch yourself grow because you're listening to somebody.

651
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:23,440
Speaker 1: It's the most fulfilling thing in the world.

652
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:25,600
Speaker 2: It's actually something that we see now with our children,

653
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 2: because even Jackson, like one of the questions here was

654
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 2: how do we encourage our kids to orient more towards

655
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:33,479
Speaker 2: facing their challenges versus shying away from it. And Jackson,

656
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 2: who dealt with a lot of performance anxiety with just

657
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:38,120
Speaker 2: even basketball because he was still new in learning in

658
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 2: the game. He's come leaps and bounds in the past,

659
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 2: well this first year to his second year, now his

660
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:45,200
Speaker 2: second year, going to his third year, because he is

661
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 2: now getting comfortable with the things that he does not know. So,

662
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 2: for example, when you had said to him recently, like,

663
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 2: you know, where do you see areas of areas of

664
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:54,479
Speaker 2: improvement for me? And he has said mentioned something and

665
00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:56,320
Speaker 2: you said, well when you go to practice that they

666
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,160
Speaker 2: tell koch Yo, I want to work on this because

667
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:00,880
Speaker 2: that's something that you're not as confident. So that's what

668
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 2: we're trying to work on our boys early on in

669
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:04,720
Speaker 2: to just say, you know what, you're not going to

670
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:06,720
Speaker 2: be one hundred percent of everything all the time, but

671
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 2: if you work towards it, you're going to be that

672
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:10,520
Speaker 2: much better as you progress.

673
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:13,320
Speaker 4: But it's also explaining to them that, like, for example,

674
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 4: with Jackson, we talked about this with him last night.

675
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 4: Literally he misses a shot, He misses one shot body

676
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:23,520
Speaker 4: language now and I'm just like, why do you do

677
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:25,240
Speaker 4: that when you miss a shot? I don't want to

678
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 4: miss the problem with this generation is that they watch

679
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:31,960
Speaker 4: social media. You know what's on social media highlights everything

680
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 4: they watch is the shot going in everything you watch,

681
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,600
Speaker 4: is Steph Curry or Kyrie Irvin is the shot going in?

682
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 4: So you think that you have to make every shot.

683
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:42,240
Speaker 4: But look, let's look at the stats and the facts.

684
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 4: Steph Curry is the greatest shooter of all time, and

685
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:49,400
Speaker 4: on average per season, he shoots anywhere between forty five

686
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:53,080
Speaker 4: and fifty percent from the field, which means Jackson, he

687
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:58,440
Speaker 4: misses more than he makes. Missus Jackson, I said, yeah,

688
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:02,040
Speaker 4: he misses more than he makes from three. He's known

689
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:04,600
Speaker 4: for the three ball. Right, he shoots at forty percent,

690
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:07,960
Speaker 4: which means he misses sixty percent of the time, Jackson,

691
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 4: sixty percent of the time. I can show you a

692
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:12,880
Speaker 4: compilation of Steph Curry misses that will have you thinking,

693
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 4: Steph Curry doesn't play well and he's just like I

694
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 4: never thought about that. Stop looking at the highlights and

695
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:23,560
Speaker 4: thinking that that's reality that is affecting people's confidence, not

696
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 4: only in sports, but in life. You're watching these couples,

697
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 4: for example, you watch me and k we loving each other,

698
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 4: We got matching clothes, we take nice pictures. That's less

699
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 4: than one percent of what our actual life is. Less

700
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:38,200
Speaker 4: than one percent. I say it all the time. There's

701
00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 4: one four hundred and forty minutes in the day. If

702
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:43,200
Speaker 4: I post a video a day, it's only going to

703
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:46,160
Speaker 4: be one minute because reels have taken over. So you

704
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 4: get one minute out of the fourteen hundred minutes. That's

705
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:52,080
Speaker 4: not my life. The other minutes that you don't get

706
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 4: a chance to see is me working, me working so

707
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:57,800
Speaker 4: that you can see the backflip. Not that every time

708
00:33:57,840 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 4: you see the backflip, I landed it, No, because I

709
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 4: definitely bust my shit.

710
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:02,560
Speaker 1: Kay, definitely want to.

711
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:04,880
Speaker 2: Do the split, and I was like, I need a

712
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:06,960
Speaker 2: little icy hot, you know what I'm saying.

713
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:10,360
Speaker 4: Don't look at highlights on social media and let that

714
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:12,440
Speaker 4: affect your confidence because you think like you got to

715
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:14,640
Speaker 4: be like that one hundred percent of the time. That

716
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:17,080
Speaker 4: will affect your confidence, and it will affect your growth

717
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:20,280
Speaker 4: mindset because now you're afraid to and I hate saying

718
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:22,239
Speaker 4: fail because fail it only happens when you quit.

719
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 1: You're afraid to be, You're afraid to reach.

720
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 4: A lesson, an obstacle, adversity, those things, you know, get

721
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 4: people afraid right right right.

722
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:33,359
Speaker 2: So I hope this has helped people who I have

723
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:35,719
Speaker 2: a fixed mindset and kind of helped them leaning more

724
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 2: into that growth mindset.

725
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:38,879
Speaker 3: I think we've touched on a lot of things that.

726
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 2: Could be tips to help you kind of develop that

727
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:44,839
Speaker 2: growth mindset as well. And as we close out, as

728
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:47,920
Speaker 2: you're growing at a different pace from others around you,

729
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,279
Speaker 2: because I know sometimes we feel like we're just kind

730
00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:52,120
Speaker 2: of in our own little space, growing and trying to

731
00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:54,920
Speaker 2: figure out ways to always reinvent ourselves and do things differently.

732
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:57,040
Speaker 2: How do we move forward with grace for people who

733
00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:59,319
Speaker 2: may not be And I'm saying you and I but

734
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:01,439
Speaker 2: just a general for your listeners. If you feel like, man,

735
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:03,640
Speaker 2: I'm trying to progress and I'm moving forward and I'm

736
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:05,600
Speaker 2: working at it, and I'm trying to get the people

737
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:07,719
Speaker 2: around me to rally around me or to rally around

738
00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 2: each other so we can all grow together. How do

739
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:12,520
Speaker 2: you feel or how do you give people grace that

740
00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:13,960
Speaker 2: may not be on the same.

741
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:16,319
Speaker 4: Page, understanding that my page is not the only book

742
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:18,480
Speaker 4: that exists in the world, and if I want to

743
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:20,680
Speaker 4: change and continue to have a growth mindset, it also

744
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:22,920
Speaker 4: means sometimes that you have to leave people where they are.

745
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 2: I was about to say, you know what I'm saying, like,

746
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 2: sometimes they can't go where you're going.

747
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:26,560
Speaker 1: Right there.

748
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,520
Speaker 4: The feelings growth may come in a later time. That

749
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:32,200
Speaker 4: doesn't mean you're leaving them forever. It's just right now.

750
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:34,840
Speaker 4: I'm in a position where I think I need to

751
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,880
Speaker 4: go this way. You're rocking with me. You're not rocking

752
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:41,360
Speaker 4: with me. Cool, there's no love laws. Growth means I

753
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,360
Speaker 4: have to do what's in the best interests of myself,

754
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 4: and so do you.

755
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:46,080
Speaker 1: So having empathy for people.

756
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:48,880
Speaker 4: Is understanding that your perspective on what they need to

757
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 4: do with their life is only just your perspective. Let

758
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:53,960
Speaker 4: them have their conversation with God and the people in

759
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,120
Speaker 4: their circle and then figuring out on their own time.

760
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 4: Because if you think about it, I came through it

761
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:01,319
Speaker 4: on my own time just because I realized it now,

762
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:02,279
Speaker 4: don't mean everybody else.

763
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:04,960
Speaker 1: I could be late to the party.

764
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:08,560
Speaker 4: There's people now who's probably where I was in this

765
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:12,279
Speaker 4: moment who I'm like, Oh, that's how Oh that's why

766
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 4: we don't talk as much. You own something different, and

767
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:17,560
Speaker 4: now I finally caught up. You know what I'm saying.

768
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 4: Sometimes growth means you get left behind, not that you're

769
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:22,399
Speaker 4: always leaving someone.

770
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:23,400
Speaker 3: You don't see it.

771
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:26,719
Speaker 2: Everyone has a revelation at a different point, right but

772
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:28,680
Speaker 2: also too, you have to realize as you grow, as

773
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:29,920
Speaker 2: you elevate, everybody can go.

774
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:30,759
Speaker 3: With you all the time.

775
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:33,040
Speaker 2: And there's some people who may just get left behind

776
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 2: because you know what, they're okay with a comfortable lifestyle.

777
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:38,600
Speaker 3: We know a lot of people who are just like

778
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:39,920
Speaker 3: I don't necessarily want more.

779
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:41,560
Speaker 2: I got my nine to five, my house, I got

780
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:43,640
Speaker 2: my kids, I got my wife, my husband, whatever, and

781
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:46,399
Speaker 2: they're comfortable being there. So we have to not judge

782
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:49,120
Speaker 2: people who are getting what they want out of their

783
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 2: life and it may not align with what we want

784
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:54,000
Speaker 2: out of our life. It's not passing judgment, but just saying, hey,

785
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:56,279
Speaker 2: you cool. I'll meet you at a cross road at

786
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:58,439
Speaker 2: some point if we happen to intersect, and if we don't,

787
00:36:58,440 --> 00:36:59,000
Speaker 2: it's all good.

788
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:00,000
Speaker 3: Don't love you any less.

789
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:01,520
Speaker 4: And we got to stop doing this. We got to

790
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:03,920
Speaker 4: step judging people who have grown and done other things.

791
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:07,880
Speaker 4: If you got left behind, if you got left behind

792
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:10,680
Speaker 4: because that person is onto something else or doing something else,

793
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,719
Speaker 4: learn to applaud them and say to yourself, whatever that

794
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:15,799
Speaker 4: person has gone through or seen to get them to

795
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:18,840
Speaker 4: that level, I just hope that God allows me to

796
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:20,920
Speaker 4: see that for myself.

797
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,080
Speaker 2: Or I hope that it's the feeling for them, though

798
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:25,560
Speaker 2: it may not be something that I necessarily aspire to,

799
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:27,840
Speaker 2: you know, so that you're not getting the comments like

800
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:29,719
Speaker 2: oh you big dog now, or the.

801
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:34,120
Speaker 4: Hollywood thing like you know, I feel you.

802
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,560
Speaker 3: That that those comments too are tired and washed.

803
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:39,000
Speaker 1: They are kind of shady. Yeah, I'm trying to be

804
00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:39,840
Speaker 1: like you big player.

805
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:42,439
Speaker 2: You could have been if you worked hard at it

806
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:45,000
Speaker 2: or whatever it is that you wanted to work at.

807
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,799
Speaker 4: Or if they experienced the growth mindset. They still can't

808
00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:48,080
Speaker 4: do it.

809
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:48,760
Speaker 3: Absolutely.

810
00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:53,080
Speaker 4: Sometimes it's shady because those those words are rooted and

811
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:55,799
Speaker 4: you did something unsavory to get to where you you

812
00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:59,000
Speaker 4: got to. You know, sometimes people don't realize that that's

813
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:01,799
Speaker 4: those were those things kind of imply yeah, you know,

814
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:03,359
Speaker 4: and it's simply hard work.

815
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:06,080
Speaker 1: Yes, it's hard work. It's all work from everybody, you know.

816
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 2: So all right, y'all, let's take a quick break. Hopefully

817
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,279
Speaker 2: that was helpful to our listeners out there today. We're

818
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:13,920
Speaker 2: going to pay some bills and get back after these ads,

819
00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:26,280
Speaker 2: so stick around. All right, now we're back. Let's jump

820
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:30,760
Speaker 2: into our listener letters today. All right, First and foremost,

821
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:33,120
Speaker 2: I just want to give you guys, your flowers for

822
00:38:33,239 --> 00:38:37,080
Speaker 2: being the inspiration to so many, including my companion. I'm

823
00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 2: a comedian. I've been doing content for about three and

824
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:42,680
Speaker 2: a half years now. I've built my following to almost

825
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:46,320
Speaker 2: two million across three platforms, one point three million on Facebook,

826
00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:50,560
Speaker 2: two seventy k on Instagram, and four fifty k on TikTok.

827
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:52,799
Speaker 2: That's awesome, right. I feel like it's been time for

828
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:55,920
Speaker 2: me to expand my talent and further expose myself to

829
00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:59,040
Speaker 2: gain connections outside of my state and sort of at

830
00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:01,280
Speaker 2: a standstill and don't know how to go about getting

831
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:05,520
Speaker 2: auditions and further exposing myself. Content creation is how I

832
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:07,880
Speaker 2: make money at the moment. Twenty twenty one was an

833
00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:12,319
Speaker 2: amazing year financially, twenty twenty two I was demonetized and

834
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 2: I had to drive uber and lift. This put a

835
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:18,120
Speaker 2: damper on my relationship. We have been on and off

836
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:22,640
Speaker 2: now for nine years. This year, I plan to ask

837
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:24,840
Speaker 2: her to marry me. I want the world for this

838
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:27,920
Speaker 2: woman and my family. I've put myself in that position

839
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,160
Speaker 2: to make it happen. I just don't know how to

840
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 2: execute this next step with my career and making sure

841
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:37,080
Speaker 2: she's involved as well. My main goal is to get

842
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:40,759
Speaker 2: auditions and land a role. I have the following and engagement.

843
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:43,759
Speaker 2: I know this can be put to use, but I

844
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:46,399
Speaker 2: just need advice on how executing the next step will

845
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:49,760
Speaker 2: get to this blessing, auditions, etc. This is me asking

846
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:53,120
Speaker 2: for help me if needs help me. Thank you for

847
00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 2: being amazing and big inspirations to all of us couples

848
00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:59,880
Speaker 2: out there and those preparing for love, God's gift to humanity.

849
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:00,880
Speaker 3: Thank you for that.

850
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:02,480
Speaker 4: That's what's saying so much.

851
00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:03,080
Speaker 3: Thank you for that.

852
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:05,120
Speaker 4: This does sound very similar to what I went through

853
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:08,800
Speaker 4: as far as creating content in order to give myself

854
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:11,520
Speaker 4: opportunities for TV film. The truth of the matter is,

855
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 4: even though I was creating content, I was still doing

856
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:16,279
Speaker 4: the work that an actor needs to do. I was

857
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:18,879
Speaker 4: still going on auditions. I did a lot of commercial work.

858
00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:21,759
Speaker 4: I did off Broadway work. I did stage work. I

859
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 4: went to Esper Studio and did a two year conservatory there.

860
00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:28,600
Speaker 4: I did four years at Hofstra. I did speech communications,

861
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:30,200
Speaker 4: I did rhetoric studies.

862
00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:31,160
Speaker 1: I did what else.

863
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:34,439
Speaker 4: I did voice and diction classes, performance. I took jobs

864
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:36,319
Speaker 4: because he talked about doing lyft and stuff. I took

865
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:39,400
Speaker 4: jobs at the substitute teachers that don't knock yourself, substitute

866
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:42,439
Speaker 4: teacher in studio. Analysts like I was willing to do

867
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 4: anything in order to make money to provide on my family.

868
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,240
Speaker 1: I was a trainer for twelve years.

869
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:50,480
Speaker 4: I say all that to say this, being in the

870
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:52,839
Speaker 4: entertainment industry doesn't mean that you don't have to do

871
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:55,759
Speaker 4: the things outside of the entertainment industry to provide for

872
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:56,360
Speaker 4: your family.

873
00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 1: That's what I was willing to do.

874
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:01,960
Speaker 4: I was willing to I would have peeled oranges and

875
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:03,719
Speaker 4: sold them on the street if it mean I made

876
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:06,960
Speaker 4: a couple hundred dollars to pay for my kids' classes

877
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:10,240
Speaker 4: or my wife's whatever. And I think so often people

878
00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:13,120
Speaker 4: believe that getting into acting needs you have to sacrifice

879
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:15,880
Speaker 4: everything and to just dive into acting and be a struggling,

880
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:16,840
Speaker 4: starving actor.

881
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:18,960
Speaker 1: You and I said, we never wanted to do that.

882
00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:21,600
Speaker 4: I watched my wife go from being a stay at

883
00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:24,799
Speaker 4: home wife to working in the mall, you know, for

884
00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:27,279
Speaker 4: three years because we needed health insurance, you know. Then

885
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:29,840
Speaker 4: she started doing content creation and it was you know,

886
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 4: it was good, it was lucrative. But we're still doing

887
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:34,560
Speaker 4: the work on the thespian side, and that's going to

888
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:37,040
Speaker 4: be my advice to you. My advice to you is,

889
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:39,200
Speaker 4: if you really want to get into being an actor,

890
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:43,319
Speaker 4: you can't shortcut your way by doing content creation. You

891
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,440
Speaker 4: still have to be a thestpian. You still have to

892
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:47,560
Speaker 4: go on auditions, you have to write your own projects.

893
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:50,200
Speaker 4: You still have to get in these rooms, meet with producers,

894
00:41:50,239 --> 00:41:52,520
Speaker 4: and meet with casting directors in order to make sure

895
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:55,359
Speaker 4: that they know who you are. Just the following is

896
00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:58,360
Speaker 4: not enough. The industry has shown putting an influencer in

897
00:41:58,400 --> 00:42:00,279
Speaker 4: a movie is not going to make a movie hit

898
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,640
Speaker 4: because it's different when people get content for free and

899
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:07,080
Speaker 4: then they have to go pay to watch you create

900
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:09,720
Speaker 4: create content. You know, part of the reason why Kadeen

901
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:13,200
Speaker 4: and I did live shows was to not only showcase

902
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:15,839
Speaker 4: our other talents, but was to also see, like hm,

903
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:17,280
Speaker 4: how many of these people would.

904
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:19,399
Speaker 1: Support us if they had to pay to watch us.

905
00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:22,200
Speaker 4: And that's how you get a gauge on whether you've

906
00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:25,960
Speaker 4: developed a skill set enough to attract people's attention away

907
00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:28,600
Speaker 4: from the cell phone. Because the cell phone was a shortcut.

908
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:30,160
Speaker 4: It's free content. Everybody watches it.

909
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 1: It's free.

910
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:34,480
Speaker 4: So I would say, continue to build your resume, Continue

911
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:37,640
Speaker 4: to go on auditions, seek out an agent or a manager,

912
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:41,239
Speaker 4: but also do the work as a thespian. You know,

913
00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:45,000
Speaker 4: that two year conservatory was a sacrifice. We had just

914
00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:48,279
Speaker 4: had Jackson. I was still taking clients, Kadeen was still

915
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:50,400
Speaker 4: working at the time, and I had to go to

916
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:53,480
Speaker 4: the city three times a week for two years, like

917
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:54,880
Speaker 4: three times a week. I had to go there, had

918
00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:56,719
Speaker 4: to do scene study with my partners. I had seen

919
00:42:56,760 --> 00:43:00,359
Speaker 4: partners at the house, Kadeen walking in the freaking life room,

920
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:02,279
Speaker 4: and I got seen partners were going over studies and

921
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 4: going to the city. Those are things people don't see.

922
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 4: So it was never just I created something on Instagram

923
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:12,040
Speaker 4: and then ended up on Sisters and Zatima. That never happened.

924
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:14,239
Speaker 4: If you go back, I was on the Blacklist, I

925
00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:16,520
Speaker 4: was on Blue Bloods. I was on Power Way before

926
00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:19,160
Speaker 4: social media, which means I've been working at this TV

927
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:19,640
Speaker 4: thing for a.

928
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:20,719
Speaker 1: Couple of years time.

929
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:22,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I love that he kind of has like

930
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:23,640
Speaker 2: he has an idea of what he wants to do.

931
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:25,759
Speaker 2: He's been out with his woman for a while now,

932
00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:27,879
Speaker 2: or yeah, his woman he says, okay, or her woman.

933
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:30,239
Speaker 3: Sorry didn't specify, But knowing that.

934
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:33,839
Speaker 2: You know having the support of a partner to do

935
00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:35,800
Speaker 2: that with is also very amazing.

936
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:37,120
Speaker 3: So good luck to you.

937
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:41,319
Speaker 2: Yes, and onto our lastness and letter for.

938
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:42,279
Speaker 1: The day number two.

939
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:44,200
Speaker 4: As the coda comes in here and just flops on

940
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 4: the floor because you know we work at home. What's up, buddy?

941
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:47,640
Speaker 1: You chilling?

942
00:43:48,719 --> 00:43:48,959
Speaker 4: Yeah?

943
00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:50,879
Speaker 3: All right, go find your brothers, Go.

944
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 1: Find her brothers. Go ahead, all right, be careful, hey,

945
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:55,360
Speaker 1: K and D.

946
00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:57,680
Speaker 4: First and foremost, I would like to congratulate you guys

947
00:43:57,680 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 4: in your success and beautiful family. I've been watch since

948
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:02,319
Speaker 4: way back, and I'm truly inspired by both of you

949
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:04,160
Speaker 4: and wish you nothing but the best of the best

950
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:07,200
Speaker 4: in your future endeavors. Thank you so much. My question

951
00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:09,760
Speaker 4: for today is how do I stop myself from crying?

952
00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 4: My boyfriend twenty five and I twenty four have been

953
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:14,719
Speaker 4: together for almost two years now and have been living

954
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:18,080
Speaker 4: together for less than one year. We met online, met up,

955
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:20,640
Speaker 4: and then the rest was history. Through our relationship we

956
00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 4: have established and that communication that oh I know where

957
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:24,600
Speaker 4: she's going.

958
00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 1: That communication and comprehension is key.

959
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:28,759
Speaker 4: So whenever we have an issue, we do our best

960
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 4: to communicate with each other and figure out how to

961
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:33,560
Speaker 4: move forward. I'm very big on not going to bed

962
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:37,080
Speaker 4: upset after each other with each other, and although following

963
00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:39,759
Speaker 4: that is not as easy for him, he tries his

964
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:42,200
Speaker 4: best to keep that thing okay, keep that a thing.

965
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:45,400
Speaker 4: We normally are able to have a conversation about our

966
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:49,520
Speaker 4: problems without having high emotions effect affected. However, recently I

967
00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:52,760
Speaker 4: can't stop myself from crying, Kadean when we do try

968
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:53,560
Speaker 4: to talk it out.

969
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:55,240
Speaker 1: This is what you're going to have to answer this question.

970
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:58,399
Speaker 4: He feels that I'm trying to manipulate and overthrow how

971
00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:01,400
Speaker 4: he feels when this happens. But I really, in reality,

972
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:05,399
Speaker 4: I cried because I'm so mad at myself. Go ahead, baby,

973
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:08,520
Speaker 4: literally mean that I have disappointed the person I love.

974
00:45:08,719 --> 00:45:10,640
Speaker 4: I try to bottle it up at times, and it

975
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:11,480
Speaker 4: just comes out.

976
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:12,120
Speaker 1: Baby.

977
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:15,000
Speaker 4: I know I feel recently that I just can't do

978
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:17,839
Speaker 4: anything right, and I hate disappointing the people I love.

979
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:20,200
Speaker 4: Go ahead, baby, answers, I wish any advice.

980
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:21,360
Speaker 3: I wish I had advice.

981
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:23,640
Speaker 2: I still be doing the same shit, and I sometimes

982
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:27,280
Speaker 2: at this point try to shy away from conversations because

983
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:29,520
Speaker 2: I know I feel exactly how you feel.

984
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:31,000
Speaker 3: It's like damn, like, how could.

985
00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:32,480
Speaker 2: I have been so stupid to do this thing to

986
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:35,080
Speaker 2: disappoint the one person who's doing everything to make sure

987
00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:37,640
Speaker 2: I have everything in life, and I can't help, but

988
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:40,480
Speaker 2: just want to. I don't want to say that I

989
00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:42,719
Speaker 2: can't help, but at that point just want to just

990
00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:47,880
Speaker 2: kick myself because I'm just like, how can I have

991
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:51,480
Speaker 2: disappointed this person? I really had to work on and

992
00:45:51,520 --> 00:45:54,640
Speaker 2: I still continue to work on this, and it's really

993
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:58,720
Speaker 2: trying to make sure that I contain my emotions. Sometimes

994
00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:02,560
Speaker 2: I have to gather myself before I then go to

995
00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 2: speak with Deval about something because I don't ever want

996
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 2: it to feel like it's a manipulation tactic or that

997
00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:12,200
Speaker 2: I'm crying for sympathy or emotions. And Devou has said

998
00:46:12,239 --> 00:46:13,640
Speaker 2: to this point like he's like, I don't even care

999
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:15,880
Speaker 2: if you cry anymore because I'm so like over the

1000
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:17,640
Speaker 2: crying thing that it doesn't.

1001
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:18,680
Speaker 3: Move me either way.

1002
00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:20,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, And if I were trying to manipulate the situation

1003
00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:22,759
Speaker 2: with crying, then it would be easy for me to stop. Now.

1004
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:25,279
Speaker 4: No, yeah, I don't. That's part of me saying I

1005
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:27,520
Speaker 4: don't care anymore because I understand where you are, Like,

1006
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:30,200
Speaker 4: canne go ahead and cry and let it out but let's.

1007
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,040
Speaker 2: Talk about this, right, So sometimes I have to remove

1008
00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:34,200
Speaker 2: myself and devout some and DEVELOP was taking that at

1009
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:37,120
Speaker 2: one point as me just trying to abandon or jump

1010
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:39,680
Speaker 2: ship on the conversation, and I'm just like, I just

1011
00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:41,600
Speaker 2: need a minute or two to just get it out,

1012
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:46,200
Speaker 2: because as much as I try to be the sagittarian

1013
00:46:46,239 --> 00:46:49,640
Speaker 2: thug that I think I am, I'm not, particularly when

1014
00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:53,120
Speaker 2: I know that this is somebody who I am married to,

1015
00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:55,439
Speaker 2: I'm committed to, he's committed to me, and he's doing

1016
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:58,239
Speaker 2: all the things necessary and then some to make sure

1017
00:46:58,280 --> 00:47:01,040
Speaker 2: that I'm okay, when ultimately I want to make sure

1018
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:04,160
Speaker 2: he's okay too. But the emotion of it all and

1019
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:07,040
Speaker 2: the disappointment in myself takes over. So I would say

1020
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:10,560
Speaker 2: to you, take some time sometimes when you're having these conversations.

1021
00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:11,879
Speaker 2: You know you don't want to go to bed upset,

1022
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:14,440
Speaker 2: you know you want to have the conversation. Just say, babe,

1023
00:47:14,600 --> 00:47:17,640
Speaker 2: give me a second, go to the bathroom, let it out,

1024
00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:19,200
Speaker 2: do whatever it is you need to do, and then

1025
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:21,399
Speaker 2: come back when you're gathered, so that way you can

1026
00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:26,080
Speaker 2: have a conversation with him. That's a sound mine eliminating

1027
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:28,280
Speaker 2: some of the emotion from it, but you do also

1028
00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:30,920
Speaker 2: want it to be genuine because sometimes now when I

1029
00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:33,680
Speaker 2: don't cry or I sound like I'm being too rigid

1030
00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:36,880
Speaker 2: with my delivery, Deval feels like I don't care. So

1031
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:39,280
Speaker 2: you're trying to have to find the line between showing

1032
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:44,520
Speaker 2: empathy and care for your partner, but also making sure

1033
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:47,440
Speaker 2: that your sound in what you're saying and you're in

1034
00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:50,319
Speaker 2: a space where you're not judged, you're not clouded by

1035
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:53,279
Speaker 2: the emotion of it all. How does it feel being

1036
00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:56,279
Speaker 2: received on your end? Do you think that it's a

1037
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:57,680
Speaker 2: manipulation or do you think.

1038
00:47:57,520 --> 00:47:58,839
Speaker 1: That it's No, I don't think.

1039
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:00,440
Speaker 4: In the beginning, I was just like always going to

1040
00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:02,279
Speaker 4: cry because she knows once she starts crying, and once

1041
00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:04,320
Speaker 4: Kadeen starts crying for me, my world's done.

1042
00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 1: I could be mad at something she starts crying.

1043
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:08,439
Speaker 4: Used to be used to be the minute she started crying,

1044
00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:09,880
Speaker 4: I grab her and I'll just be like, come on,

1045
00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:11,759
Speaker 4: wee can't like no, whatever it is, will fix it,

1046
00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:12,279
Speaker 4: I'll fix it.

1047
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:12,840
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.

1048
00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:15,000
Speaker 4: And then after a while I started to feel like

1049
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:17,200
Speaker 4: I always do that, and I let her off the

1050
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:19,839
Speaker 4: hook because now she's like, oh, Davalo said, he's fine.

1051
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:21,520
Speaker 1: So I continue doing what I want.

1052
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:22,240
Speaker 3: And you're not really fine.

1053
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:23,320
Speaker 1: No, I'm not fine.

1054
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:26,600
Speaker 4: What I've learned is, and what I've tried to tell

1055
00:48:26,640 --> 00:48:29,920
Speaker 4: Kadeen so many times is even if it's one hour

1056
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:33,880
Speaker 4: every week, one hour every week, Kadeen will say, if

1057
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:35,359
Speaker 4: I come to say, can we talk about some things

1058
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:37,640
Speaker 4: I think need to be corrected, the first thing Kadean

1059
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:40,279
Speaker 4: would say is that we always having a talk. Just

1060
00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:43,439
Speaker 4: think of the mathematics. One hour a week, there's twenty

1061
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:46,759
Speaker 4: four hours in the day. There's seven days in a week,

1062
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:49,720
Speaker 4: so that's about what one and one hundred and sixty

1063
00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:53,480
Speaker 4: one hundred and sixty eight hours in a week. If

1064
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:55,600
Speaker 4: I want to talk about what we can change for

1065
00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:59,360
Speaker 4: one hour, that's less than one percent. But the first

1066
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:02,080
Speaker 4: thing that you think of is I can't do anything.

1067
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:04,960
Speaker 2: Right because it's logical standpoint, practical versus emotion.

1068
00:49:05,239 --> 00:49:07,400
Speaker 4: So for one hundred and sixty seven hours out of

1069
00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:09,120
Speaker 4: the week, I praise you how much I love you.

1070
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:11,160
Speaker 4: The fact that I want to talk about it doesn't

1071
00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:13,440
Speaker 4: mean that none of that stuff is still true. Oh yes,

1072
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:15,279
Speaker 4: it's just like, let's talk about it for hours.

1073
00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:17,520
Speaker 2: I'm out the window, and anything that's going right in

1074
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:19,160
Speaker 2: that week is completely gone.

1075
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:22,480
Speaker 4: But that also talks about what we talked about here,

1076
00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:25,080
Speaker 4: the change mindset. In order for you to have a

1077
00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:28,160
Speaker 4: change growth mindset, you have to be willing to take criticism,

1078
00:49:28,239 --> 00:49:30,399
Speaker 4: especially from the person you love the most, because you're

1079
00:49:30,440 --> 00:49:33,360
Speaker 4: supposed to do life together. You can't have a growth mindset.

1080
00:49:33,440 --> 00:49:35,359
Speaker 4: In the minute he or she wants to talk about

1081
00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:38,840
Speaker 4: something that's affecting them, you think everything you've done is wrong.

1082
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:41,719
Speaker 4: That's a quit and failure mindset. True, so it means

1083
00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:45,000
Speaker 4: everything has to be perfect your way or it's not good.

1084
00:49:45,320 --> 00:49:47,040
Speaker 4: And the minute you can start to get to the

1085
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:49,800
Speaker 4: point where you realize, okay, he wants to discuss something

1086
00:49:49,840 --> 00:49:52,840
Speaker 4: that's in this moment that's affecting him, that doesn't negate

1087
00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:55,040
Speaker 4: all of the other great moments we have, you'll be

1088
00:49:55,080 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 4: able to accept criticism. Because athletes go through that too.

1089
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:01,240
Speaker 4: When you first get the college and they always correcting

1090
00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:03,200
Speaker 4: you right, you think I can do nothing right, but

1091
00:50:03,239 --> 00:50:05,600
Speaker 4: then you realize, dang, that coach at avoid me and

1092
00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:09,800
Speaker 4: told me good jobs so many other times. And human nature,

1093
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:11,480
Speaker 4: when someone tell you good job, you kind of let

1094
00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:11,919
Speaker 4: all the thanks.

1095
00:50:12,200 --> 00:50:12,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, But then when.

1096
00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:14,959
Speaker 4: Someone tell you need to fix that the world comes

1097
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:15,839
Speaker 4: crumbling down.

1098
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:16,399
Speaker 3: It's true.

1099
00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:19,960
Speaker 2: Even think about, like, for example, the comments section, all

1100
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:21,880
Speaker 2: these praises positivity, we love you, we love you, and

1101
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 2: then somebody makes one negative comment, whether it's a troll

1102
00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:25,600
Speaker 2: or not, and it's just like, damn you harp on

1103
00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:28,600
Speaker 2: that one negative thing, you know, So that's a good

1104
00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:30,640
Speaker 2: I think that's a good way of putting.

1105
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:31,040
Speaker 3: It as well.

1106
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:31,960
Speaker 1: Have a growth mindset.

1107
00:50:32,200 --> 00:50:33,480
Speaker 2: I have a growth mindset when it comes to the

1108
00:50:33,520 --> 00:50:36,080
Speaker 2: relationship as well. And it's just no baby, gifts and talents,

1109
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:38,040
Speaker 2: put them together because I know what my gifts and

1110
00:50:38,080 --> 00:50:41,360
Speaker 2: talents are, darling, and that usually fixes things at the

1111
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:41,799
Speaker 2: very end.

1112
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:51,200
Speaker 1: Anyway, definitely leaning. I ain't gonna lie about it that.

1113
00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:54,120
Speaker 3: No, but we're not using that.

1114
00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:57,920
Speaker 4: Either, just to don't manipulate, don't in sense to just

1115
00:50:58,040 --> 00:51:00,600
Speaker 4: you know, get enjoyment and discussingcause after a while he

1116
00:51:00,640 --> 00:51:01,880
Speaker 4: gonna take the couchatcha.

1117
00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:03,200
Speaker 2: And still be mad, and still be mad, and then

1118
00:51:03,239 --> 00:51:04,160
Speaker 2: what because.

1119
00:51:03,880 --> 00:51:07,279
Speaker 1: Now you're talking but now nuts and so like I was.

1120
00:51:07,239 --> 00:51:10,319
Speaker 2: Saying, oh my god, that would drive me insane. I'm

1121
00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:12,480
Speaker 2: sleep I'm sleeping, all right. If you want to be

1122
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:15,160
Speaker 2: featured as one of our listener letters. Email us at

1123
00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:17,120
Speaker 2: dead assadvice at gmail dot com.

1124
00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:19,319
Speaker 4: That's d E A D A S S A d

1125
00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:22,640
Speaker 4: V I C E at gmail dot com.

1126
00:51:22,719 --> 00:51:24,399
Speaker 3: All right, moment of truth time.

1127
00:51:24,480 --> 00:51:28,719
Speaker 2: We're talking growth mindset versus fixed mindset discomfort when it

1128
00:51:28,760 --> 00:51:29,640
Speaker 2: comes to change.

1129
00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:31,719
Speaker 3: What you got for them today, baby.

1130
00:51:31,440 --> 00:51:35,840
Speaker 4: Mine, mine is very very easy. Learn to be comfortable

1131
00:51:35,880 --> 00:51:39,800
Speaker 4: being uncomfortable. And once you can find comfort and uncomfortability,

1132
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:42,719
Speaker 4: you'll always grow because you'll learn how to adapt and

1133
00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:46,360
Speaker 4: pivot and you'll never get stuck just being complacent.

1134
00:51:46,520 --> 00:51:47,360
Speaker 3: That's a good one.

1135
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:52,600
Speaker 2: I think my moment of truth is uh, Mediocrity dwells

1136
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:55,400
Speaker 2: in the arms of comfort. So if you aspire to

1137
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:57,799
Speaker 2: do more, to be more, to have more, to be

1138
00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:01,520
Speaker 2: your best self, you have to get ready for change

1139
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:04,399
Speaker 2: that comes with this comfort. And like this said Devao said,

1140
00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:08,040
Speaker 2: pushing past that there's always breakthrough on the other side.

1141
00:52:08,719 --> 00:52:11,440
Speaker 2: So Hire is waiting, y'all, Hire is waiting.

1142
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:12,399
Speaker 3: All right.

1143
00:52:13,280 --> 00:52:15,359
Speaker 2: Be sure if you have not yet to join us

1144
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:17,960
Speaker 2: on Patreon, we're having a time over there, y'all. You

1145
00:52:17,960 --> 00:52:21,400
Speaker 2: can see exclusive dead Ass podcast content. The After Show,

1146
00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:25,080
Speaker 2: which has become a fan favorite with Triple Matt and

1147
00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:28,040
Speaker 2: Josh and you're going to get some more exclusive Ellis

1148
00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:30,320
Speaker 2: Family content over there, So if you haven't joined yet,

1149
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:32,480
Speaker 2: jump on it. And you can find us on social

1150
00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:35,399
Speaker 2: media dead Ass the Podcast and Kadeen I Am and.

1151
00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:37,680
Speaker 4: I Am Devo And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts,

1152
00:52:37,719 --> 00:52:40,560
Speaker 4: be sure to rate, review, subscribe, and pick up your

1153
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:43,360
Speaker 4: copy of We Over Me Baby, The counter Intuitive approach

1154
00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:45,360
Speaker 4: to getting everything you want out of your relationship.

1155
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:45,800
Speaker 3: Let's do it.

1156
00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:47,279
Speaker 2: Let's help us break one hundred K.

1157
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:48,799
Speaker 3: Let's do it, y'all.

1158
00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:52,880
Speaker 4: Dead Ass dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast

1159
00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:56,600
Speaker 4: Network and it's produced by Donorpinya and Triple. Follow the

1160
00:52:56,600 --> 00:52:59,400
Speaker 4: podcast on social media at dead Ass the Podcast and

1161
00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:09,600
Speaker 4: never miss Think