WEBVTT - CK on His Breakup with Monica B. and Dating Today | Golden Hour 0:00:07.640 --> 0:00:09.600 Welcome back. Here we are again. 0:00:09.920 --> 0:00:16.520 It's Susan and I'm Kathy, and we are just so 0:00:16.640 --> 0:00:19.439 excited about our guest today. I mean, we could talk 0:00:19.480 --> 0:00:22.000 about what we've been doing, but everyone knows Susan and 0:00:22.040 --> 0:00:25.920 I were together. Yes, we've had a great summer so far. 0:00:25.960 --> 0:00:29.080 It's hotter than hell, and it's about to get a 0:00:29.080 --> 0:00:32.800 lot hotter on this podcast because guests who we have 0:00:33.000 --> 0:00:37.720 today from Bachelor, Golden Nation and Jones Season. We have 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:41.680 c K. Welcome c K, Thank. 0:00:41.479 --> 0:00:43.440 You all, Thank you, Susan, thank you, Casy. 0:00:43.560 --> 0:00:46.680 So good to see you in those shiny, pilly white teeth. 0:00:48.200 --> 0:00:50.040 I feel like I need to go to the dentist here. 0:00:50.800 --> 0:00:51.760 How have you been, c K? 0:00:52.720 --> 0:00:54.840 I've been doing very very well. Now that I see 0:00:54.880 --> 0:00:56.640 you and Susan, it just makes. 0:00:56.480 --> 0:00:58.640 My day be such a flirt this one. 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:00.520 I try. 0:01:00.640 --> 0:01:02.280 I try, you know what, in a good way. We 0:01:02.360 --> 0:01:05.520 love compliments, So so tell us what's going on in 0:01:05.560 --> 0:01:06.399 your life real quick? 0:01:07.480 --> 0:01:10.119 Well, I'm working and dating and trying to stay out 0:01:10.160 --> 0:01:12.720 of trouble and do the right thing and keeping busy. 0:01:12.520 --> 0:01:15.320 And just okay living life. We don't care about the work, 0:01:15.400 --> 0:01:16.720 we don't care about keeping busy. 0:01:16.800 --> 0:01:19.440 We want to hear about the day said I'm dating. 0:01:20.080 --> 0:01:21.360 Did you hear what I just date? 0:01:21.640 --> 0:01:23.120 Like? What is wrong with this picture? 0:01:23.880 --> 0:01:24.119 Yeah? 0:01:25.080 --> 0:01:27.680 How many? How many dates? So I t c k 0:01:27.920 --> 0:01:30.400 a lot? Because does date a lot? And I tell 0:01:30.440 --> 0:01:33.320 me as a stable so let me, you know, give 0:01:33.319 --> 0:01:35.760 a winnie here, how many? 0:01:36.319 --> 0:01:36.759 How many? 0:01:36.840 --> 0:01:38.600 How many got in the stable this week? And tell 0:01:38.680 --> 0:01:40.000 us about them? 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:42.080 Well, I'm not sure if I have a stable, but 0:01:42.200 --> 0:01:45.039 I do very well, and I think that's part part 0:01:45.040 --> 0:01:47.400 of the problem and trying to find the right one 0:01:47.920 --> 0:01:52.080 is when you have too many options, it's just clouts 0:01:52.080 --> 0:01:54.760 your judgment and more often than not, you're going to 0:01:54.840 --> 0:01:57.920 get it wrong. So you know that's part of my problem. 0:01:58.040 --> 0:01:59.360 So what are we I'm working on. 0:01:59.560 --> 0:02:05.000 What are we doing wrong? We have no options over here? No, 0:02:05.160 --> 0:02:07.880 I do have a question for you though, as a 0:02:07.880 --> 0:02:14.000 man over sixty, do you have any fears about committing 0:02:14.160 --> 0:02:14.760 to a woman? 0:02:14.960 --> 0:02:19.360 C k oh, listen, I have no problem. I have 0:02:19.440 --> 0:02:22.520 no problem committing to a woman up to an including marriage, 0:02:22.560 --> 0:02:24.800 So you know it's not a fear of mine. I 0:02:24.880 --> 0:02:29.000 will say this season my experience from the Golden Batcherette, 0:02:29.040 --> 0:02:32.560 when Jones season told me so much about myself, you 0:02:32.639 --> 0:02:35.840 really get time to reflect on where you think you 0:02:35.919 --> 0:02:38.200 are versus where you are and what you want and 0:02:38.240 --> 0:02:40.799 how you go about that. And I'm two years to 0:02:40.800 --> 0:02:42.560 remove from that. I'm in a really good place. 0:02:42.560 --> 0:02:45.040 Okay. As a follow up with you more as a 0:02:45.120 --> 0:02:47.600 follow up, c K, what did you learn about yourself? 0:02:48.080 --> 0:02:49.200 How are you different now? 0:02:50.240 --> 0:02:52.800 Well? I found out that on the Heels are coming 0:02:52.840 --> 0:02:55.200 off the show, that I wasn't quite as vulnerable as 0:02:55.240 --> 0:02:58.400 I needed to be. I kept people at arm's length, 0:02:58.919 --> 0:03:01.200 and I was coming off of a divorce. I was 0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:06.440 probably twelve years divorced, and I was still kind of 0:03:06.480 --> 0:03:09.360 holding on to that. And so, you know, knowing and 0:03:09.440 --> 0:03:12.400 understand that has helped me cycle through that. And so 0:03:12.600 --> 0:03:14.520 for the last six months or so, I've just been 0:03:14.560 --> 0:03:15.680 in a really really good place. 0:03:15.680 --> 0:03:15.960 Okay. 0:03:16.040 --> 0:03:19.320 So, Susan, can I ask something that? Were you always? 0:03:19.639 --> 0:03:22.520 I think you're very flirtatious, You're easy to talk to. 0:03:23.480 --> 0:03:26.080 Now I love that I'm the same way. Have you 0:03:26.200 --> 0:03:28.639 always been like that or it's that only been since 0:03:29.280 --> 0:03:31.639 the show that you found yourself and who you are. 0:03:32.320 --> 0:03:34.840 Oh no, Susan, that's a super super great question. Like 0:03:34.840 --> 0:03:36.800 my mother, I would go out there at lunch with 0:03:36.800 --> 0:03:39.880 my mother and I would just try to I would 0:03:39.880 --> 0:03:43.320 be nice to like the waitress people, the attendant, and 0:03:43.400 --> 0:03:45.800 my mother would say to me, when you get into relationship, 0:03:45.840 --> 0:03:49.600 you kind of have to stop. So yeah, like being flirtatous, 0:03:49.640 --> 0:03:52.760 not for shape, but being overly nice to the attendant, 0:03:52.880 --> 0:03:54.640 to the waitress, so nice. 0:03:54.640 --> 0:03:57.880 To skip flirting or a lot of the same. 0:04:00.160 --> 0:04:03.200 Okay, Okay, you two, I am just going to rip 0:04:03.240 --> 0:04:05.440 the band aid off because I have so many questions 0:04:05.520 --> 0:04:08.760 I want to ask you, but they're all predicated on 0:04:08.840 --> 0:04:10.400 the answer to the question we're about to ask you. 0:04:10.480 --> 0:04:13.720 C k oh No and I love you dearly. We 0:04:13.760 --> 0:04:17.680 had you and Monica be on the show you broke up. 0:04:18.040 --> 0:04:21.560 I hear this wind of YouTube chatting again? Did you 0:04:21.600 --> 0:04:24.040 break up? Are you chatting again? Are you going to 0:04:24.120 --> 0:04:24.719 go out? 0:04:24.760 --> 0:04:24.960 Are you? 0:04:25.000 --> 0:04:27.480 Cause you had told me that you could see yourself 0:04:27.520 --> 0:04:30.200 marrying this girl, so I want an update seek what 0:04:30.440 --> 0:04:31.120 is going on? 0:04:32.040 --> 0:04:34.080 Yeah, so thank you for that. Like I said, I'm 0:04:34.120 --> 0:04:37.520 an open book. So Kathy, you probably know more than 0:04:37.560 --> 0:04:40.440 anyone else with respect of where my mindset was about 0:04:40.480 --> 0:04:45.000 ten months ago. Because I told you that if four 0:04:45.040 --> 0:04:48.080 criterias were met with respect to Monica B that there 0:04:48.080 --> 0:04:50.279 would probably be a golden wedding in the spring of 0:04:50.279 --> 0:04:52.800 twenty twenty six. Yes, and you tried to talk me 0:04:52.880 --> 0:04:56.279 up that legend. I was defiant, like it's going to happen. 0:04:56.320 --> 0:04:58.119 It's going to be a golden wedding in twenty twenty 0:04:58.160 --> 0:05:02.480 six and unfortunate only not only is it not a 0:05:02.480 --> 0:05:06.040 wedding in twenty twenty sixth of the spring, but Monica 0:05:06.160 --> 0:05:10.200 be and I broken up as of I think January 0:05:10.360 --> 0:05:14.400 of twenty twenty six, So that's where that is. We 0:05:14.760 --> 0:05:17.080 don't talk very much. We did speak over the last 0:05:17.080 --> 0:05:20.640 week or so with respect to her, her grandson, and 0:05:20.800 --> 0:05:24.880 my willing willingness to help in any way that I can, 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:28.200 because I still feel like because I chose her, yes, 0:05:28.320 --> 0:05:30.520 like I picked her and I children, So I still 0:05:30.560 --> 0:05:32.960 feel like, in some way, in some part of me, 0:05:33.520 --> 0:05:35.400 I still feel responsible to help. 0:05:35.600 --> 0:05:38.400 Did you feel like you got just too excited about it, 0:05:38.520 --> 0:05:41.000 about the idea of it, and she's a beautiful woman, 0:05:41.040 --> 0:05:43.800 as we all know, is that part of it? And 0:05:43.839 --> 0:05:46.680 then you just calmed yourself down and paced you have 0:05:46.760 --> 0:05:47.719 to pace yourself. 0:05:48.440 --> 0:05:51.560 Yeah, well no, Susan, I think quite the opposite. Like 0:05:51.760 --> 0:05:57.479 for men we know, like we know ostensibly we know, like, 0:05:57.600 --> 0:06:00.440 then you got to get into like the internal person, 0:06:00.480 --> 0:06:04.159 and I think that's where our goals and values want 0:06:04.160 --> 0:06:07.240 to align are one major. Yeah, so it was that. 0:06:07.360 --> 0:06:10.159 And I tried, Susan, in all fairness, like I tried 0:06:10.200 --> 0:06:13.560 to align myself with where she was, and. 0:06:13.680 --> 0:06:15.920 I can second that he did. He did. 0:06:16.080 --> 0:06:19.839 Yeah, that just doesn't I tried because and but it 0:06:19.960 --> 0:06:22.640 just doesn't work for me because inasmuch as she wants 0:06:22.680 --> 0:06:24.919 what she wants, I feel like it's important for me 0:06:25.000 --> 0:06:27.560 to get what I want. And that's important it is 0:06:27.640 --> 0:06:28.520 or it won't last. 0:06:28.600 --> 0:06:31.279 I mean, you're doing a favor for both of you 0:06:31.400 --> 0:06:34.600 and you can remain friends. So do you feel like 0:06:34.720 --> 0:06:38.880 you find somebody that will align exactly with you? I 0:06:38.920 --> 0:06:41.320 mean there's always going to be something. I mean, you 0:06:41.400 --> 0:06:44.440 and I we blow the world up. We'll have a ball. 0:06:45.200 --> 0:06:49.200 Wait minute, Susan, Susan, he's about to He's about to 0:06:49.240 --> 0:06:52.560 announce that I've always been the woman he wanted a guy. 0:06:53.839 --> 0:06:56.000 Why is it that you are the old only one 0:06:56.040 --> 0:06:58.560 selling that guy? 0:06:59.560 --> 0:07:02.040 Well, I got a number of reasons. No, go ahead 0:07:02.040 --> 0:07:03.400 and answer that one. 0:07:03.680 --> 0:07:06.039 Well, I have a social life of abundance. I get 0:07:06.040 --> 0:07:07.839 invited to a lot of things with I'm here in 0:07:07.920 --> 0:07:10.880 Maryland or I'm back in Los Angeles. I just get 0:07:10.880 --> 0:07:14.320 invited into so many different things. And before I would 0:07:14.360 --> 0:07:16.160 say no, I don't want to do this. I don't 0:07:16.160 --> 0:07:17.400 want to go here. I don't want to do that. 0:07:17.560 --> 0:07:19.800 And I think in January, I said, you know what, 0:07:19.840 --> 0:07:21.600 I'm going to open myself up. I'm going to go 0:07:21.600 --> 0:07:25.680 to all white rooftop party, bel air or Hollywood. 0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:26.160 How you meet people? 0:07:27.000 --> 0:07:30.480 Yeah, And I got invited to join social clubs in 0:07:30.640 --> 0:07:33.680 Los Angeles, something very exclusive social clubs and then put 0:07:33.680 --> 0:07:36.520 me in a certain area or arena with certain people. 0:07:37.080 --> 0:07:38.680 And so I'm very happy there. 0:07:38.800 --> 0:07:41.120 And I take friends to these things. You know, I 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:42.520 clean nice. 0:07:44.040 --> 0:07:47.120 Again. Get in line's got a little event. 0:07:47.080 --> 0:07:49.320 You can go mingle and I'll do the same. I 0:07:49.360 --> 0:07:54.080 mean that we're there for support for each other. It'll 0:07:54.080 --> 0:07:55.640 be my wing man, I'll be your wing. 0:07:56.040 --> 0:07:58.280 Yeah, exactly, that's right. 0:07:59.160 --> 0:08:02.400 Okay. So I'm very curious, and I may or may 0:08:02.440 --> 0:08:06.120 not know the answer to this. What is it that 0:08:06.200 --> 0:08:09.760 you really want secretly or not so sickrely? What is 0:08:09.800 --> 0:08:12.440 it that you want in a woman that is a 0:08:12.480 --> 0:08:15.440 deal breaker if she doesn't have it? Whatever it is 0:08:16.160 --> 0:08:18.800 she's out, like, what is it you have to have? 0:08:20.000 --> 0:08:22.320 Well, the first thing, I think, first and foremost, that's 0:08:22.360 --> 0:08:25.320 a great question, Kathy. But first and foremost, I want 0:08:25.320 --> 0:08:28.200 a woman who is of age, right, like I need 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:28.800 a woman. 0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:31.720 Who's lived great Susan, she harready wants a woman over eighteen, 0:08:31.800 --> 0:08:32.679 a woman of age. 0:08:33.080 --> 0:08:34.560 He's not like most men. 0:08:34.640 --> 0:08:36.080 It's like I. 0:08:36.000 --> 0:08:38.600 Need age, like I'm going to be sixty four in December. 0:08:38.679 --> 0:08:40.800 I want a woman of my of my own age, 0:08:41.040 --> 0:08:43.680 and that way, you know, there's we have some similarities. 0:08:43.679 --> 0:08:48.240 We understand certain things, right, so you know, being underreased 0:08:48.400 --> 0:08:50.520 is a deal breaker for me. But you know, I 0:08:50.520 --> 0:08:52.600 don't go on with a lot of rules and regulations, 0:08:52.720 --> 0:08:54.840 you know, Susan, I know it when I know it. 0:08:55.000 --> 0:08:58.680 I feel like when I feel it, you know. 0:08:56.920 --> 0:09:01.480 And I frequently like I fall in love easily, but 0:09:01.520 --> 0:09:04.400 then I don't do all the homework. I guess after 0:09:04.480 --> 0:09:05.400 a year it's. 0:09:05.200 --> 0:09:10.000 Like yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that. And you know, Susan, 0:09:10.080 --> 0:09:12.960 I think the last six months, in all honesty, coming 0:09:13.040 --> 0:09:14.839 on the heels of my burg up with money, could 0:09:14.880 --> 0:09:18.079 be the last six months has taught me that, you know, 0:09:18.640 --> 0:09:22.800 my future is probably more important than my feelings like 0:09:22.880 --> 0:09:25.840 I can feel one way, but my future is really important. 0:09:25.840 --> 0:09:28.600 Now you might say, c K, what the hell, dude, 0:09:28.640 --> 0:09:31.160 You're going to be sixty four in December. But I 0:09:31.200 --> 0:09:33.120 feel like my future is bright. I got a lot 0:09:33.160 --> 0:09:35.479 of living to do. I've got a lot to accomplished. 0:09:35.720 --> 0:09:38.040 But more importantly, Susan, I have a lot to lose. 0:09:38.120 --> 0:09:41.559 So I cannot afford to make wrong or bad decisions 0:09:41.600 --> 0:09:45.880 because it'll cost me everything and I can't recover everything. Again. 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:50.720 Wh whoa WHOA Wait, c K, are you saying that, Susan. 0:09:50.720 --> 0:09:53.280 I were just talking about this earlier on another podcast 0:09:53.360 --> 0:09:57.640 about compatibility versus love? Are you telling me? I'm asking, 0:09:57.880 --> 0:10:00.760 do you have a checklist that you know? She has 0:10:00.800 --> 0:10:03.680 to be presentable at the club, She has to look 0:10:03.679 --> 0:10:06.240 and act and you don't have to love her. She 0:10:06.360 --> 0:10:08.480 has to meet that criteria. Is that what I'm hearing? 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:11.480 You know what, Kathy? I hate to say that. There's 0:10:11.480 --> 0:10:14.480 a part of me that that agrees with that, and 0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:16.640 I hate that part of me because it's so vain 0:10:16.760 --> 0:10:20.560 and mundane, but that is the absolute truth. I need 0:10:20.640 --> 0:10:23.880 her to fit in and to be part of that world. 0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:28.079 And feel comfortable doing so. She has to be comfortable. 0:10:28.320 --> 0:10:34.319 But I'm sorry, darling, what can't you I hear what 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:38.360 you're saying, but I'm not hearing the word and your divorced, 0:10:38.559 --> 0:10:40.839 k you have five kids, you've been married, You've been 0:10:40.880 --> 0:10:44.559 down the road to go to enter into that kind 0:10:44.640 --> 0:10:48.440 of contract. If you will to enter into that relationship again, 0:10:48.559 --> 0:10:55.160 that's committed, permanent relationship. You better hope that I would 0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:58.160 hope that you would want more than quote unquote fitting 0:10:58.400 --> 0:10:59.560 in at the club. 0:11:00.640 --> 0:11:03.200 Well, yeah, there's so much more than fitting in. There's 0:11:03.240 --> 0:11:06.040 the financial aspect of that, like where is she financially? 0:11:06.160 --> 0:11:10.040 Where am I financially? And I've worked my solf to 0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:14.400 be in a position where, you know, if she made 0:11:14.440 --> 0:11:17.079 no money, like, I would be totally okay with that, 0:11:17.160 --> 0:11:20.320 like one hundred. I'm not looking for someone if she 0:11:20.440 --> 0:11:23.160 doesn't have a home and she doesn't have a retirement like, 0:11:23.240 --> 0:11:24.240 I'm okay with that. 0:11:24.320 --> 0:11:26.800 Are you as long as are you? 0:11:28.080 --> 0:11:39.319 Yes, I'm just Susan, that's right. If I'm asking for lords, 0:11:39.480 --> 0:11:43.160 if I'm asking for devotion and love and understanding, Susan, 0:11:43.240 --> 0:11:45.000 I'm giving what I'm asking for. 0:11:45.240 --> 0:11:49.719 So yeah, we're there, Susan, Susan, if you get off 0:11:49.760 --> 0:11:52.000 this podcast right now and buy a ticket. I think 0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:54.920 you can be out inks neck of the wood. 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:59.560 Where How about older women? You said of age, So. 0:12:02.280 --> 0:12:06.240 I do I I a woman of ages, that is, 0:12:06.400 --> 0:12:06.960 I mean Kathy. 0:12:07.040 --> 0:12:07.920 I get what he's saying. 0:12:08.080 --> 0:12:12.440 But for example, Susan and Kathy like my executive staff. 0:12:12.520 --> 0:12:14.760 The men on the executive staff, most of them are married, 0:12:15.280 --> 0:12:18.839 and I've seen their wives and girlfriends, And the first 0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:21.520 thing comes to mind when I meet them is I 0:12:21.600 --> 0:12:24.280 see what he sees in her? Like I can see it. 0:12:24.360 --> 0:12:27.280 I can see why he chose her, and I want 0:12:27.280 --> 0:12:29.719 the woman that I choose. Now you may say, c K, 0:12:29.880 --> 0:12:32.560 that's not required, but it's somebody is like I want 0:12:32.600 --> 0:12:36.360 my partners and my executive staff to meet a Kathy 0:12:36.600 --> 0:12:39.400 or Susan and say, c K, I see what you're 0:12:39.400 --> 0:12:41.760 seeing her. Not only is she love you, but boy, 0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:43.360 she's very charming, like. 0:12:43.440 --> 0:12:48.079 She's fun, smile worth room. 0:12:48.400 --> 0:12:52.000 Okay, SOK. Are you dating? Have you met anyone? Are 0:12:52.040 --> 0:12:56.200 you currently dating anyone that you're thinking will fit into 0:12:56.240 --> 0:12:58.560 that role? Or are we back to feeding oats in 0:12:58.600 --> 0:12:59.120 the stable? 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:02.400 No? No, no, no, there's no stable. There's no stable. 0:13:02.480 --> 0:13:05.320 But I will say this, Cabby, this is a subject. 0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:09.920 I think that's somewhat tabooed. But for me, like I'm 0:13:09.920 --> 0:13:13.640 a black man that is in a corporate office and 0:13:15.400 --> 0:13:19.560 the idea of dating has to in my mind, is 0:13:19.640 --> 0:13:23.480 partly interracial dating. How do you feel about that? Are 0:13:23.520 --> 0:13:26.760 you comfortable with that? And that's a huge, huge element 0:13:26.800 --> 0:13:29.760 for me because most of the women that in my 0:13:29.840 --> 0:13:33.560 community are not black, Most of the women that's part 0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:36.640 of the country club is not black. Most of the 0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:39.319 women that are part of my work environment is not black. 0:13:39.400 --> 0:13:41.920 So I have to really consider how do you feel 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:43.120 about interracial dating? 0:13:44.200 --> 0:13:45.720 Yeah, that's a lot to think about. 0:13:52.240 --> 0:13:53.600 What's next, Susan on this one? 0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:58.120 Okay, this is our Golden hotline, baby, So every week 0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:02.080 we answer questions from our liststeners and we give them 0:14:02.559 --> 0:14:04.800 I don't know how expert it is, but we give 0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:08.959 them our personal advice. And today we want you to 0:14:09.040 --> 0:14:10.680 help us do that. Is that okay with you? 0:14:11.280 --> 0:14:12.080 Sure? Absolutely? 0:14:12.160 --> 0:14:12.480 All right? 0:14:12.520 --> 0:14:13.000 They're good. 0:14:13.320 --> 0:14:17.120 All right, Here comes the first question. This is from 0:14:17.200 --> 0:14:22.880 Tiffany in Atlanta. Okay, Tiffany says, I was the other woman. 0:14:23.240 --> 0:14:27.120 Without realizing it. I dated a man for six months 0:14:27.160 --> 0:14:29.960 before finding out he had a girlfriend. The entire time 0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:34.520 I ended things immediately, but now I have major trust issues. 0:14:34.800 --> 0:14:37.480 How do you date again after realizing someone lied to 0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:41.480 your face so convincingly for so long? What says you see, K? 0:14:43.440 --> 0:14:46.280 Well, look, I have a daughter, and so if my 0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:48.560 daughter were asking that question, I would tell Herry, you 0:14:48.680 --> 0:14:51.400 have to be very very careful in terms of who 0:14:51.480 --> 0:14:54.840 you connect with, in terms of you know your emotions 0:14:55.120 --> 0:14:59.120 or intimacy, and do a very very strong vetting process. 0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:01.720 More importantly, trust to men that are in your circle, 0:15:01.760 --> 0:15:06.160 because men know scammers and liars when they see them. 0:15:06.800 --> 0:15:09.520 Good answer, my my. What came to mind for me 0:15:09.720 --> 0:15:13.480 is if you if I dated someone for six months, 0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:17.120 I know who's whereabouts. I want to know where you 0:15:17.160 --> 0:15:20.520 were this time. If you have a full time girlfriend, 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:24.480 that would make less time for us, so I want 0:15:24.480 --> 0:15:29.960 to know where you are. I would probably investigate Susan. 0:15:30.240 --> 0:15:32.360 I'm telling to say case she's got a baseball bat 0:15:32.360 --> 0:15:34.920 and a crew of god knows who the mafia that 0:15:34.960 --> 0:15:38.400 would find out for her. But now I feel I 0:15:38.440 --> 0:15:40.320 have out yet. Thanks, I have a whole different take 0:15:40.360 --> 0:15:46.440 on it. I think you whatever that famous expression is, 0:15:46.480 --> 0:15:49.080 you know, to never loved, you have to let your 0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:50.520 heart go to know love. 0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:53.880 I think to have been loved than never loved before. 0:15:53.960 --> 0:15:57.320 Yeah, one of those things. But here's my answer for you, Tiffany. 0:15:58.320 --> 0:16:02.880 Whatever happened happened. But if you give that guy the power, 0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:05.760 and that's what you're giving away your power to love 0:16:06.200 --> 0:16:10.440 because he cheated and lied to you, then you're giving 0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:13.400 off all your power to someone who doesn't deserve it. 0:16:13.840 --> 0:16:18.000 Move on, find the next guy, and don't think all 0:16:18.080 --> 0:16:19.880 men are liars and cheaters, because they're not. 0:16:20.120 --> 0:16:21.080 So that's just. 0:16:23.920 --> 0:16:26.520 Yeah, I'm saying trust. You have to open your heart 0:16:26.520 --> 0:16:30.640 and trust again because the alternative means you'll never find 0:16:31.000 --> 0:16:33.520 love and a good relationship again. You have to trust. 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:34.960 That's part of a good relationship. 0:16:35.040 --> 0:16:37.160 It is, It is all right. The next one's from 0:16:37.200 --> 0:16:41.960 Gloria and she's from Chicago. I'm seventy one and dating 0:16:41.960 --> 0:16:44.680 a man who is fifty eight. I love you, Gloria. 0:16:45.280 --> 0:16:49.440 We have an amazing connection. But my friends keep teasing 0:16:49.480 --> 0:16:54.280 me about being the older woman. I thought we'd all 0:16:54.400 --> 0:16:59.120 outgrown these kinds of judgments by now. Does age really 0:16:59.200 --> 0:17:03.080 matter to your both adults? Or am I setting myself 0:17:03.200 --> 0:17:04.119 up for heartbreak? 0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:09.840 Susan, Wait before you answer, ck, Susan, I met a 0:17:09.880 --> 0:17:12.280 guy in California. Did you write this question it and 0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:13.000 change the name? 0:17:13.520 --> 0:17:17.240 No, But I'm sixty nine and friends fifty six, same thing. 0:17:19.080 --> 0:17:20.359 Okay, what do you think? Ck? 0:17:21.320 --> 0:17:23.520 Well, I think at seventy one or fifty eight or 0:17:23.560 --> 0:17:28.680 sixty five, age almost becomes irrelevant somewhat right. I think 0:17:28.720 --> 0:17:31.520 it's how a person takes care of themselves, how a 0:17:31.600 --> 0:17:34.919 person thinks, how a person vibes. And let's be honest, 0:17:34.960 --> 0:17:37.440 you know, if the connection is strong and good then 0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:40.600 and to me, it's all reletant. On the other side 0:17:40.640 --> 0:17:43.200 of that, I mean her friends may have a little 0:17:43.200 --> 0:17:44.119 hate going on there. 0:17:44.000 --> 0:17:50.359 I mean jealousy, maybe no jealousy. But also I don't 0:17:50.400 --> 0:17:52.760 like the date. Like you were saying earlier, it has 0:17:52.800 --> 0:17:56.399 to be within the age because you can't even share 0:17:56.520 --> 0:18:00.119 the same music likes or the same errors that you 0:18:00.200 --> 0:18:02.560 were talking about when you were young, like you're in 0:18:02.640 --> 0:18:05.560 different fate. When it's that big of a gap, then 0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:07.280 I see some struggles with that. 0:18:07.680 --> 0:18:09.879 See, I think I think music is the least of 0:18:10.320 --> 0:18:14.959 anybody's worries with an age gap like that. And Susan, 0:18:15.000 --> 0:18:18.480 you know, I've met two guys now who were much 0:18:18.520 --> 0:18:22.960 younger than I and the issue for me is it's 0:18:23.000 --> 0:18:25.600 not that they're still working. That's not a problem for me. 0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:29.880 It's that they don't have flexibility because of their jobs. 0:18:30.000 --> 0:18:33.920 They have children at home. That is an issue because 0:18:34.080 --> 0:18:38.240 then I can't live life. I want to live with 0:18:38.400 --> 0:18:43.080 him because we're different places in our lives. I don't 0:18:43.080 --> 0:18:47.080 think the age matters per se. I mean, your whole 0:18:47.119 --> 0:18:50.720 situation is different, Susan, because he's long distance. There's a 0:18:51.000 --> 0:18:54.520 that's a whole nother conversation. I just think, if it's 0:18:54.600 --> 0:18:58.520 going well for you, Gloria, then don't worry about what 0:18:58.560 --> 0:19:02.439 other people say. If those other things, if jobs and 0:19:02.520 --> 0:19:07.040 responsibilities and you know, taking care of parents or young kids, 0:19:07.240 --> 0:19:10.480 if those things aren't an issue, you go, girl. 0:19:10.640 --> 0:19:13.000 And Susan, Kathy, I just went on on the date 0:19:13.040 --> 0:19:15.000 with a woman who was seventy one years old, and 0:19:15.080 --> 0:19:17.320 if I showed you the picture, you would not believe 0:19:17.600 --> 0:19:22.720 exactly exactly. I just don't like the age thing. That's right. 0:19:23.000 --> 0:19:26.119 And a fifty eight year old man and a fifty 0:19:26.160 --> 0:19:29.919 eight year old woman night and day. Some men look 0:19:30.760 --> 0:19:33.320 older than fifty eight and fifty eight, and some women 0:19:33.400 --> 0:19:35.200 do too. Just to be fair, but. 0:19:35.560 --> 0:19:37.439 You could be used to guy, I mean you never know. 0:19:37.720 --> 0:19:40.600 Yeah, those sound like I love you you. 0:19:40.800 --> 0:19:43.840 Listen, Gloria, thanks so much for sharing that with us. 0:19:43.920 --> 0:19:47.000 And you know what, there's no such thing as setting 0:19:47.040 --> 0:19:50.959 yourself up for heartbreak. You're enjoying this ride here, at 0:19:51.000 --> 0:19:53.720 this moment. You may last forever, and you may not 0:19:54.680 --> 0:19:59.000 stop worrying about what could happen and enjoy the moments. 0:19:59.119 --> 0:20:01.600 Gosh, Susan, that some of the best advice you've ever given. 0:20:01.920 --> 0:20:05.000 Listen to or Gloria. Okay, moving on, we have one 0:20:05.040 --> 0:20:14.800 more hair. This is from Kathy from Raleigh, So not 0:20:15.040 --> 0:20:19.040 this Kathy, Kathy from Raleigh, North Carolina. I checked my 0:20:19.160 --> 0:20:21.800 husband's phone for the first time in ten years of 0:20:21.920 --> 0:20:27.680 marriage and found messages that absolutely crushed me. Nothing physical, 0:20:28.040 --> 0:20:31.600 but enough to know he was seeking attention from other women. 0:20:31.960 --> 0:20:36.639 He says. The bigger betrayal is that I invaded his privacy. 0:20:37.200 --> 0:20:40.480 Is checking someone's phone ever justified in your gut tells 0:20:40.480 --> 0:20:42.919 you something is wrong? What do you think is okay? 0:20:44.320 --> 0:20:50.640 Look, I don't yeah. Yeah. I think if it resorts 0:20:50.680 --> 0:20:53.880 to checking someone's phone or going through someone's tech messages 0:20:53.920 --> 0:20:58.439 and emails, I think that's problematic within itself. 0:20:58.480 --> 0:21:02.760 It's just just issue although for the reason they were met. 0:21:02.880 --> 0:21:05.440 So that's exactly it, Susan. They were married for ten 0:21:05.520 --> 0:21:07.800 years and all of a sudden she's going through the phone. Yeah, 0:21:07.800 --> 0:21:12.360 I'm thinking she was sniffing something, right, Yeah, what would 0:21:12.400 --> 0:21:14.920 you say, c K. What if your girlfriend went through 0:21:14.920 --> 0:21:16.520