WEBVTT - Pfizer & John Legend Are Conspiring! (with Langston Kerman and David Gborie) Re-Release 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:03.440 We have to start the Steal Tour. We're very excited 0:00:03.480 --> 0:00:06.360 about it. I'm not about to bite my tongue. We 0:00:06.519 --> 0:00:09.280 want to sell it out and the dates are coming 0:00:09.360 --> 0:00:11.040 up fast, and so if you live in one of 0:00:11.080 --> 0:00:13.320 these areas, we want you to buy your tickets now. 0:00:13.560 --> 0:00:18.000 It's all available on our instagrams, on our websites, on 0:00:18.040 --> 0:00:20.960 our link tree. But you can see us in Washington, 0:00:21.040 --> 0:00:25.560 DC on October tenth, Detroit, Michigan on October twelfth, Chicago 0:00:26.040 --> 0:00:30.720 October thirteenth. October seventeenth, we're in La in Hollywood. We'll 0:00:30.720 --> 0:00:33.640 be in Atlanta on Halloween, October thirty. 0:00:33.680 --> 0:00:34.000 First. 0:00:34.360 --> 0:00:36.519 We want y'all to come out. We want y'all to 0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:40.520 kick it. We will be doing our coveted live show 0:00:41.000 --> 0:00:43.680 with special guests, with just me and David. Depending on 0:00:43.720 --> 0:00:45.440 the city, it'll be a great time. 0:00:46.080 --> 0:00:48.920 All that meet and greets you've been Chris Brown has 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:49.920 a good meet and greet. 0:00:50.600 --> 0:00:50.760 Bro. 0:00:52.440 --> 0:00:55.440 Let's be clear, I'll take a weird picture with you 0:00:55.720 --> 0:00:59.280 for free. 0:01:00.120 --> 0:01:02.240 You want to say with the pictures we said to 0:01:02.320 --> 0:01:09.280 sending pictures to yourself, maybe don't, lady, you will find 0:01:09.280 --> 0:01:12.680 as hell that's not the issue. We're both in relationships 0:01:12.680 --> 0:01:14.640 we can't be getting late night pictures of women. 0:01:17.440 --> 0:01:21.360 And that's all I'm going to say. Is stressing David out. 0:01:21.480 --> 0:01:24.240 Me myself. I can handle it. You do whatever you 0:01:24.319 --> 0:01:27.600 need to do. But you're stressing David out and uh, 0:01:28.319 --> 0:01:29.120 maybe chill out. 0:01:29.480 --> 0:01:31.720 Yeah, I got the I got the email up on 0:01:31.800 --> 0:01:33.440 my phone. I'm checking it in bed. 0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:37.440 It complicates things. You need not show us what you 0:01:37.480 --> 0:01:43.440 were working with and said picture that. Olivia says, I 0:01:43.440 --> 0:01:47.880 don't want to see it. Okay, Well I guess I'm 0:01:47.880 --> 0:01:50.240 out voted. Uh, and that's fine. 0:01:50.360 --> 0:01:52.760 I know what if you want us to see them, 0:01:52.960 --> 0:01:55.760 send it to Langston personally. Why aren't you an addressing 0:01:56.320 --> 0:02:00.080 email to Langston? And it says them and okay, and 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:01.720 show them all of them. 0:02:01.760 --> 0:02:08.919 Hey, everybody, let's just pump the brakes. It's a lot 0:02:09.000 --> 0:02:11.239 easier to explain it when it's a group email and 0:02:11.440 --> 0:02:15.359 not not my personal collection. 0:02:27.000 --> 0:02:33.040 Qualitys are racists. 0:02:33.200 --> 0:02:38.760 The money stuff, I can't tell me. 0:02:41.720 --> 0:02:46.639 Who wants the sex matumbo? There it is, there, it is. 0:02:46.760 --> 0:02:50.480 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome little mamas and gentiles alike to 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:54.880 another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:58.680 where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories, 0:02:58.880 --> 0:03:03.040 and we finally work to prove that Nell Carter died 0:03:03.240 --> 0:03:07.040 a generation too early to be celebrated for the badass 0:03:07.080 --> 0:03:10.360 big lady she truly was. That lady was fine. I 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:12.960 think Nell Carter was a battie and they spent a 0:03:13.040 --> 0:03:15.600 lot of time calling her a big, old chubby ugo 0:03:16.040 --> 0:03:18.480 and and that was like, the whole bit was, who 0:03:18.520 --> 0:03:20.840 would want to have sex with Nel Carter? Guess what 0:03:21.560 --> 0:03:25.600 old Langston herman would have sex with Nell Carter today, 0:03:26.240 --> 0:03:29.799 tomorrow and forever. I want to, first of all say 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:34.720 a double r p H. Carter and m given would 0:03:34.760 --> 0:03:37.920 jump up and now I'm with you. Though that was 0:03:38.000 --> 0:03:41.200 bad she That was that little updude, a little shortcut. 0:03:43.160 --> 0:03:45.040 It was. It was of a It was of a time, 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:47.280 I would say. And it's it's. 0:03:47.120 --> 0:03:50.400 Interesting because yeah, they talked all that ship. Ten years later, 0:03:50.440 --> 0:03:52.360 Monica came out with the same thing, and we loved 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:52.840 her for it. 0:03:53.320 --> 0:03:56.320 We loved her because because she fit a certain profile. 0:03:56.440 --> 0:03:59.520 You know, she was a skinny battie. But but the 0:03:59.560 --> 0:04:02.640 big girl bodies got their wave and unfortunately, now what's 0:04:02.680 --> 0:04:05.880 a little too early for it? Well, now we want 0:04:05.920 --> 0:04:07.960 you to know wherever you are, we will hit. We 0:04:08.000 --> 0:04:17.320 will hit if yeah, I've been heaven listening, we will hit. 0:04:18.160 --> 0:04:20.880 We wull No, God, bless you, God, bless you, God 0:04:20.880 --> 0:04:30.120 bless that haircut man. What shot? Do we have a 0:04:30.240 --> 0:04:34.640 heaven at this point? You know, I think seventy thirty 0:04:34.720 --> 0:04:37.360 I do some things in my personal life. Okay, you 0:04:37.400 --> 0:04:41.000 still think you have like a decent chance at heaven. 0:04:41.520 --> 0:04:43.440 The way you responded to that makes me feel like 0:04:43.480 --> 0:04:46.280 you don't. I don't think you have a chance. Or 0:04:46.320 --> 0:04:48.200 I don't think I have a chance, but you don't 0:04:48.240 --> 0:04:50.200 think you have a chance. Yeah, I don't think I 0:04:50.240 --> 0:04:53.640 got a pretty I don't think I wow. I think 0:04:53.839 --> 0:04:56.640 at this point it's less a question of me going 0:04:56.640 --> 0:05:00.400 to heaven and where where do I go? Do you 0:05:00.480 --> 0:05:03.359 know what I mean? Like I think, I don't. I 0:05:03.400 --> 0:05:06.520 don't know that I'm a subscriber in in the idea 0:05:06.600 --> 0:05:09.440 of hell. I I that to me feels sort of 0:05:09.480 --> 0:05:15.520 like a fictitious thing. But certain Jewish No, I I 0:05:15.560 --> 0:05:24.240 didn't grow up with any No, I didn't grow up 0:05:24.279 --> 0:05:27.320 with any like deep connections to the Jewish religion. But 0:05:27.400 --> 0:05:32.560 I do connect with that part of the of the faith, 0:05:32.680 --> 0:05:35.799 if that makes sense. That, like, just on a logical sense, 0:05:35.920 --> 0:05:40.080 it does feel false to me that there's just a 0:05:40.080 --> 0:05:45.080 place for an eternal damnation because I cussed and wasn't 0:05:45.160 --> 0:05:48.880 nice to my neighbor's wife or whatever it is. Here's 0:05:48.920 --> 0:05:52.000 my problem with there being no hell, then I'm damn 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:56.160 sure not going to heaven. Does that? Does that mean? Well, 0:05:56.200 --> 0:06:01.680 that's what I'm wrestling with. I know, so I I 0:06:01.760 --> 0:06:04.279 need there to be a hell so I can make 0:06:04.360 --> 0:06:07.880 it to heaven. Yeah. I think like there might be 0:06:07.920 --> 0:06:10.720 a version of this where like you don't go to heaven, 0:06:11.120 --> 0:06:14.320 but you go to like you become like a spirit 0:06:14.400 --> 0:06:18.440 that just lives in line at Burger King, you know 0:06:18.520 --> 0:06:21.839 what I mean. Where it's just like that's the differnity 0:06:21.960 --> 0:06:23.800 for you, because here's. 0:06:23.560 --> 0:06:26.119 How I always viewed it before. The difference between heaven 0:06:26.200 --> 0:06:28.880 and Hell is like the difference between a D minus 0:06:28.920 --> 0:06:29.560 and a f. 0:06:30.000 --> 0:06:36.440 Oh sing, where hey, I got it sixty though you're 0:06:36.440 --> 0:06:38.280 trying to be one of them. That's like right at 0:06:38.279 --> 0:06:40.560 the end, and goes my bad guy, and then he's like, 0:06:40.600 --> 0:06:44.520 come on, that's exactly it. Let me get that. I'm 0:06:44.560 --> 0:06:48.960 point nine away. But that's enough, that's enough. Yeah. But 0:06:49.000 --> 0:06:51.520 then if you put some other place in there. Well, 0:06:51.560 --> 0:06:53.560 now I'm I'm rocking to c Miners. I don't know 0:06:53.560 --> 0:06:56.680 what I'm gonna do. You did enough that the teacher goes, David, 0:06:56.680 --> 0:07:00.680 can you hang back for a second. Oh I remember 0:07:00.680 --> 0:07:05.080 that conversation. Now I'm gonna pass you, but I shouldn't you. 0:07:05.080 --> 0:07:08.440 You're really pushing it, man, And and if you're gonna 0:07:08.440 --> 0:07:10.720 be something in your life, then you're gonna have to 0:07:10.720 --> 0:07:11.760 make some other choices. 0:07:12.720 --> 0:07:15.520 I will miss Carlisle. I promise I'm gonna work on it. 0:07:15.880 --> 0:07:18.640 Here's the talk I got. Your grades were fine during 0:07:18.640 --> 0:07:25.360 football season, then all of a sudden, mid November rolls 0:07:25.400 --> 0:07:27.520 around and you're failing everything. 0:07:28.560 --> 0:07:34.720 Yeah, no, it's true. I I myself maintained pretty solid 0:07:34.760 --> 0:07:38.680 grades the whole time, but but you did. But I 0:07:39.080 --> 0:07:41.840 respect that everybody had a different journey out there. And 0:07:41.880 --> 0:07:46.360 I just watch my teachers have that conversation with my friends, 0:07:46.480 --> 0:07:48.520 and yeah, it's very funny. 0:07:48.600 --> 0:07:53.600 From afar, it's so funny to watch, like this is 0:07:53.720 --> 0:07:56.000 this is not great, but like, do you remember just 0:07:56.040 --> 0:07:58.480 making fun of people for being stupid in school? Because 0:07:58.480 --> 0:08:00.760 my thing is I was bad at school, but I'm 0:08:00.800 --> 0:08:03.040 smart enough that I could like you couldn't be like, 0:08:03.080 --> 0:08:04.880 this guy's a fucking idiot. But then they'd be like, 0:08:05.560 --> 0:08:07.840 but Jeff can't balance equation or whatever. 0:08:07.960 --> 0:08:10.840 You know what I mean, dog we I would say 0:08:10.880 --> 0:08:13.640 some of my most joyous moments were making fun of 0:08:13.760 --> 0:08:18.880 the the extensive failures of my peers, just being like, 0:08:18.960 --> 0:08:21.200 you know what I mean, just especially when I was 0:08:21.200 --> 0:08:25.800 playing basketball, Like dudes who couldn't play that week because 0:08:25.840 --> 0:08:29.600 like they didn't make grades or whatever the time we 0:08:29.720 --> 0:08:32.400 had BROF. That happened to me once too, and it 0:08:32.520 --> 0:08:35.400 was awful. It was my junior year, and I remember 0:08:35.520 --> 0:08:39.280 sophomore year. I remember you had to run all practice 0:08:39.920 --> 0:08:42.160 and then you had to run conditioning that week, like 0:08:42.200 --> 0:08:44.160 so you didn't get to practice at all. And then 0:08:44.200 --> 0:08:47.800 the coach would just make me run different directions, so 0:08:47.840 --> 0:08:51.280 he'd be like, bory, b wait, maybe there's an a 0:08:51.440 --> 0:08:59.520 over there, but there's not. And frankly, you keeping me 0:08:59.679 --> 0:09:04.680 here running is not gonna help me improve my studies 0:09:04.720 --> 0:09:05.960 in any way, shape or form. 0:09:06.240 --> 0:09:07.800 I think if you were a good coach, you would 0:09:07.880 --> 0:09:09.480 understand that the F started at home. 0:09:09.840 --> 0:09:12.040 Well, the F started at home. I needed more help 0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:17.240 than than you yelling uh you the health teacher yelling 0:09:17.280 --> 0:09:20.760 at me. Can offer, bro He wasn't even a teacher. 0:09:21.200 --> 0:09:25.959 We brought a hitter in. He was a construction workers. 0:09:25.000 --> 0:09:25.080 He. 0:09:27.400 --> 0:09:30.720 Owned a concrete business. He was dirty. He drove his 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:34.160 truck onto the field before practice. No, that's not right, 0:09:34.240 --> 0:09:36.800 you know, Come on, man, they have to have some 0:09:37.000 --> 0:09:41.080 tether to the to the educational system so that they 0:09:41.120 --> 0:09:44.439 know how to help liaison these relationships. 0:09:44.800 --> 0:09:48.160 Otherwise you're just a man yelling at me, a man 0:09:48.240 --> 0:09:53.120 yelling at me for frankly, tests that you can't even scale, 0:09:54.120 --> 0:09:55.400 you know what I mean, Like, you don't even know 0:09:55.440 --> 0:09:56.680 how hard that test was. 0:09:56.760 --> 0:10:00.280 You're just being mean to me because you didn't didn't 0:10:00.280 --> 0:10:04.600 get good grades. The life of a student athlete, Man, 0:10:05.440 --> 0:10:08.040 it's tough. I I miss it every day. 0:10:09.000 --> 0:10:11.480 I never miss it. But it's because I wasn't good enough. 0:10:12.000 --> 0:10:14.200 I was like good enough to start, but I wasn't 0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:19.080 good enough to get any specialty treatment. It's just like, Okay, 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:22.320 you're starting because you're the best defensive tackle we have here, 0:10:22.600 --> 0:10:30.120 but that's not a great pool sharp. 0:10:32.600 --> 0:10:41.640 What up? What up there? Boy? You got a future? Ye? Man? Yeah, 0:10:42.200 --> 0:10:45.760 I do miss I missed. I know I didn't play football, 0:10:45.800 --> 0:10:48.600 but I do miss basketball a lot. And and I 0:10:48.640 --> 0:10:51.920 miss Shannon Sharp. I missed the Shannon Sharp he was, 0:10:52.040 --> 0:10:56.400 and not the Shannon Sharp that that everybody has has 0:10:56.440 --> 0:11:00.199 found out he is. I missed my house the good 0:11:00.200 --> 0:11:04.200 old days. Man, what a time when we have the 0:11:04.240 --> 0:11:06.760 defect to Baltimore. But now I don't want to hear 0:11:06.760 --> 0:11:10.839 you talk. No, it's tough. It's tough hearing that mushmouth 0:11:10.880 --> 0:11:14.720 man speak that said, we're not here to talk about 0:11:14.720 --> 0:11:18.240 Shannon Sharp or football or basketball. Frankly, we have an email. 0:11:18.920 --> 0:11:22.200 Uh it's a Langston David episode of David Langston episode. 0:11:22.280 --> 0:11:25.320 We we we're gonna talk some ship, we're gonna hang out, 0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:28.319 we're just gonna chill for a minute. But we got 0:11:28.320 --> 0:11:31.960 an email from a person that we're excited about. I 0:11:32.000 --> 0:11:35.560 think our ears perked up at the possibilities that that 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:42.439 come from this salacious email. Uh. It's subject line reads, 0:11:42.760 --> 0:11:48.640 fuck is Fizer on which great, great great? I'm in. Yeah, 0:11:48.679 --> 0:11:50.600 that's that's a good way to start an email. I 0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:54.200 like that, and like put a picture in. And I 0:11:54.280 --> 0:11:56.199 like when they start with fuck you know what I mean, 0:11:56.320 --> 0:11:58.920 or just a big old naughty word right at the beginning. 0:11:59.000 --> 0:12:02.280 That makes me want to read it. Yeah, Dylan sent 0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:06.040 us a message he said, greetings and salutations Linthsen and 0:12:06.120 --> 0:12:12.400 David E Para Olivia k pedo, puto pedo. I don't know. Uh, 0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:18.280 I'm not a Spanish speaker, Olivia. That was for you anyway. Uh, 0:12:18.920 --> 0:12:20.880 it ain't got nothing to do with us. I saw 0:12:20.920 --> 0:12:24.520 this goofy fucking Ffiser commercial during the Niners game today, 0:12:24.559 --> 0:12:26.800 and I cannot think of a single reason why they 0:12:26.840 --> 0:12:30.760 needed John Legend drinking honey on a piano with fuck 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:35.480 me eyes except for some good old fashioned white devil Shenanigans. 0:12:35.679 --> 0:12:39.160 That sounds right to me already. And I don't I 0:12:39.200 --> 0:12:41.360 don't even know what the commercial is. I haven't seen 0:12:41.400 --> 0:12:43.680 the commercial. Were you familiar with this commercial before? 0:12:43.760 --> 0:12:45.880 I'm not, But I'm on board with all right, some 0:12:47.160 --> 0:12:50.400 I and this is a conspiracy within a conspiracy, the 0:12:50.520 --> 0:12:54.000 conspiracy to make us think John Legend is the sexiest 0:12:54.040 --> 0:12:54.680 man in the world. 0:12:55.040 --> 0:12:59.240 You guys gotta relax, You gotta relax putting all this 0:12:59.360 --> 0:13:03.760 John Legend. He looks like a teacher. It's fine, Yeah, 0:13:03.760 --> 0:13:06.160 I look like a door guy. That's my lot in life. 0:13:06.200 --> 0:13:08.920 You don't feel like you know what I mean? Yeah? 0:13:08.920 --> 0:13:12.319 I feel it. I think there was this weird period 0:13:12.360 --> 0:13:17.200 where John Legend looked like what we think he should 0:13:17.200 --> 0:13:20.440 look like. He looked like a little mouseman in big 0:13:20.840 --> 0:13:24.120 thick sweaters, and we were like, that's John Legend. We 0:13:24.200 --> 0:13:26.599 agree on that he's not a sexy man, but he 0:13:26.920 --> 0:13:30.560 has sexy man voice and make sexy man music cool. 0:13:31.040 --> 0:13:33.480 And then John Legend did a fuck ton of push 0:13:33.559 --> 0:13:38.320 ups and got into pretty good shape for John Legend, 0:13:38.760 --> 0:13:43.760 and then suddenly we just accepted that John Legend was 0:13:43.800 --> 0:13:46.240 supposed to be a sex symbol when in fact, no, 0:13:47.200 --> 0:13:50.240 that's still a mouseman who did push ups. 0:13:50.559 --> 0:13:52.480 The song is called ordinary People. 0:13:55.640 --> 0:13:58.880 You regular, my nigga, You ain't. You ain't even supposed 0:13:58.880 --> 0:13:59.560 to be over here. 0:14:00.040 --> 0:14:03.800 And that's why I like you because I bought your CD, 0:14:03.960 --> 0:14:06.480 which was a Christmas present to my mom at Targan. 0:14:07.040 --> 0:14:11.000 Yeah, and that's cool. Yeah, No, John Legend, And this 0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:13.439 isn't this We want to be clear, this isn't some 0:14:13.600 --> 0:14:18.400 negative attack on like John Legend. It's it's more just 0:14:18.520 --> 0:14:24.800 let's rescale the the attractiveness measurements, you know what I mean, 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:28.120 Like we gotta we gotta balance the the the scales. Again. 0:14:29.200 --> 0:14:32.600 I just feel like we need to let normal and 0:14:32.760 --> 0:14:37.040 ugly people do shit in entertainment. And again, yeah, you 0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:39.840 don't gotta be fine to sing, you don't, It's fine. 0:14:40.560 --> 0:14:42.800 I agree, you gotta be fine to play the drums. 0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:47.320 I agree, And and even I think about like Jonathan Majors, 0:14:47.360 --> 0:14:51.120 who who obviously went through his big transformation and then 0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:54.680 a more complicated one. But there was a period where 0:14:54.720 --> 0:14:57.240 like people were fully trying to convince us that that 0:14:57.400 --> 0:15:01.520 was a sect a fine man, that he was like handsome, 0:15:01.560 --> 0:15:04.200 and let's be clear, y'all, he's not. 0:15:04.920 --> 0:15:07.480 He's finny, might be handsome. I actually have to differ 0:15:07.560 --> 0:15:10.360 with you on that. I think, what are we doing? 0:15:10.440 --> 0:15:13.520 What is this podcast? We can't agree on what Jonathan 0:15:13.560 --> 0:15:17.720 Majors looks like? You saw Rocky. Yeah, he's big and 0:15:17.840 --> 0:15:21.800 buff and and he certainly plays the part, But no, 0:15:22.000 --> 0:15:27.640 that's not a handsome man. Does he have the face 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:34.160 of your cousin who was good at football? Yes, yeah, 0:15:34.200 --> 0:15:39.040 he's odd faced and he no, come on, and he 0:15:39.680 --> 0:15:43.480 dresses like he uh, he dresses like a slave. And 0:15:44.760 --> 0:15:47.160 he dresses like he keeps a bottle of cod liver 0:15:47.240 --> 0:15:49.200 oil in his pocket, you know what I mean. Like 0:15:49.560 --> 0:15:53.040 he's a fucking that's not a handsome man. What are 0:15:53.040 --> 0:15:57.040 we talking about. Here's my question to you, because you 0:15:57.160 --> 0:16:01.200 flirt with the space of handsome man. If you got 0:16:01.320 --> 0:16:06.680 Jonathan Major's buff, would we ever see you again? Uh? 0:16:06.720 --> 0:16:14.080 I don't think so. I I think I've done everything 0:16:14.080 --> 0:16:16.880 in my power. I'll be honest with you. I've done 0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:22.720 everything in my power not to get buff, because I 0:16:22.760 --> 0:16:25.840 think that if I end up in that space, I 0:16:25.880 --> 0:16:29.840 can't keep doing comedy, certainly not at any version of 0:16:29.880 --> 0:16:34.080 a respectable level. And I will say, and we if 0:16:34.120 --> 0:16:36.600 Newly talks to the social media team, blur this out. 0:16:37.000 --> 0:16:40.720 I was watching your new television show. Yeah, and I 0:16:40.720 --> 0:16:54.040 did take a screenshot that I was saving. I told 0:16:54.200 --> 0:17:00.960 my girl. I was like, it's like Christmas, it's gonna come. 0:17:02.520 --> 0:17:12.159 It's gonna I had to find it. Posit I posit it. 0:17:12.200 --> 0:17:14.880 I can show you I'm never gonna be more self 0:17:14.960 --> 0:17:18.040 conscious than than for the rest of always. I guess 0:17:18.200 --> 0:17:21.000 because I don't know what it is, but it gives 0:17:21.040 --> 0:17:25.440 me nightmares. I haven't even sure. Yeah, it gives me nightmares. 0:17:25.960 --> 0:17:29.320 I fucking hate this. This is awful. What a terrible 0:17:29.359 --> 0:17:32.840 thing that's happening. I hate it. Guys with me. Yeah, 0:17:32.880 --> 0:17:42.199 It's just I know, if I funk around and get jacked, 0:17:42.200 --> 0:17:46.360 it's over. Man. I can't keep going. See I'm the opposite. 0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:49.000 If I got jacked, I would do a shock level 0:17:49.080 --> 0:17:55.159 number of endorsements. No, that's that's crazy. If I know 0:17:55.320 --> 0:18:00.240 that's not crazy, that makes sense. If I get Buff, 0:18:00.280 --> 0:18:03.760 I'm selling out dog. That's what I mean. I think. 0:18:03.840 --> 0:18:08.480 If I get Buff, I'm just going to walk the path. 0:18:08.720 --> 0:18:11.639 I get what what Michael B. Jordan did. Do you 0:18:11.720 --> 0:18:14.960 know what I mean? He was like, I got Buff. 0:18:16.040 --> 0:18:18.960 It took me a lot of time and energy to 0:18:19.040 --> 0:18:21.840 make these muscles. I am going to use them to 0:18:21.880 --> 0:18:24.280 the best of their ability and be the star of 0:18:24.359 --> 0:18:28.640 every buff dude thing available. You don't then go and 0:18:29.040 --> 0:18:32.840 you know, hang out with riff raff. I gotta make 0:18:32.840 --> 0:18:36.320 a choice. You see, I'm cutting everything. I'd be a 0:18:36.960 --> 0:18:42.920 you call me Terry News. I'm the new You see 0:18:43.000 --> 0:18:52.080 me popping all of a sudden. That is change. You'd 0:18:52.119 --> 0:19:01.960 be popping a lot now. Uh. Dylan goes on to say, 0:19:02.000 --> 0:19:06.080 my conspiracy is that Peiser partnered with the Black Church 0:19:06.240 --> 0:19:10.200 on the John Legend flu shot commercial as a way 0:19:10.240 --> 0:19:13.440 to galvanize old black women to buy into the medical 0:19:13.520 --> 0:19:17.639 machine more and challenge their hotel husbands, thus creating both 0:19:17.880 --> 0:19:23.359 more flu shot income for Pfizer from traditionally untrustworthy black folks, 0:19:23.400 --> 0:19:27.000 as well as more conflict and division in black families 0:19:27.440 --> 0:19:30.840 via inciting old hard headed niggas to double down on 0:19:30.920 --> 0:19:34.359 their views and never go to the doctor. By intensifying 0:19:34.400 --> 0:19:38.879 old heads experience of white coat syndrome, which is obviously valid, 0:19:39.119 --> 0:19:42.160 as well as the jealousy and insecurity from their wives 0:19:42.520 --> 0:19:46.640 wanting John Legend to eat their pussies out, amplified chronic 0:19:46.720 --> 0:19:53.280 stress well expedite their imminent early demise, creating more free 0:19:53.280 --> 0:19:57.119 time for black superwomen our nation heroes who don't know 0:19:57.160 --> 0:20:00.640 how to have fun to only focus on sacrifice service 0:20:00.960 --> 0:20:03.640 via work in church. Thank you all for your high 0:20:03.680 --> 0:20:06.880 jinks and tomfoolery. This podcast is one of the things 0:20:06.880 --> 0:20:10.520 that got me through grad school. All the best, Dylan, Damn. 0:20:11.119 --> 0:20:13.959 One minor point I do want to make. That's how 0:20:14.000 --> 0:20:17.080 you know John your Legend's not fine. They're imagining him 0:20:17.160 --> 0:20:18.600 eating their pussies. 0:20:24.480 --> 0:20:27.880 You're saying, fine, man, you imagine them blowing your back out. 0:20:28.840 --> 0:20:31.320 I would imagine. And I'm not a woman. Sure, I 0:20:31.320 --> 0:20:36.120 don't know, but I would assume. Yeah, but but regular 0:20:36.200 --> 0:20:38.440 men you go, I bet you eat me out good, 0:20:38.480 --> 0:20:49.479 and yeah, treat me nice. Dylan lays down a pretty 0:20:50.119 --> 0:20:54.280 uh I would say thoughtful and heavy theory here. I 0:20:54.440 --> 0:20:57.440 wonder if it's worth us taking a break because he's 0:20:57.520 --> 0:21:00.639 laid down his tracks. Maybe we take a break. We 0:21:00.720 --> 0:21:05.320 give y'all a second to buy products. I'm sure they're 0:21:05.359 --> 0:21:09.680 great products, and then when we come back, we'll talk 0:21:09.720 --> 0:21:13.200 a little bit more about our thoughts on Dylan's conspiracy. 0:21:13.400 --> 0:21:16.320 That sound good. I've been doing hell yeah, So we're 0:21:16.359 --> 0:21:18.680 going to take break. We'll be back with more Dylan's 0:21:18.720 --> 0:21:28.080 email and more. Mamma told me we have to start 0:21:28.119 --> 0:21:31.479 the Steal Tour. We're very excited about it. I'm not 0:21:31.520 --> 0:21:34.480 about to bite my tongue. We want to sell it 0:21:34.520 --> 0:21:37.199 out and the dates are coming up fast, and so 0:21:37.240 --> 0:21:39.080 if you live in one of these areas, we want 0:21:39.080 --> 0:21:42.000 you to buy your tickets now. It's all available on 0:21:42.040 --> 0:21:46.320 our instagrams, on our websites, on our link tree. But 0:21:46.480 --> 0:21:50.200 you can see us in Washington, DC on October tenth, Detroit, 0:21:50.200 --> 0:21:55.480 Michigan on October twelfth, Chicago October thirteenth, October seventeenth, we're 0:21:55.520 --> 0:21:59.760 in La in Hollywood. We'll be in Atlanta on Halloween, 0:22:00.000 --> 0:22:03.000 October thirty. First, we want y'all to come out. We 0:22:03.040 --> 0:22:05.960 want y'all to kick it. We will be doing our 0:22:06.200 --> 0:22:10.240 coveted live show with special guests, with just me and David. 0:22:10.320 --> 0:22:13.720 Depending on the city, it'll be a baun all that 0:22:13.880 --> 0:22:16.320 meet and greets. You've been Chris Brown has a good 0:22:16.359 --> 0:22:20.240 meet and greed. Bro. Let's be clear. 0:22:20.760 --> 0:22:25.800 I'll take a weird picture with you for free. 0:22:26.680 --> 0:22:30.960 You raggedy bitch, and you ain't shit niggas. We are 0:22:31.320 --> 0:22:46.760 better commercial. Yeah yeah, I like we're discussing Pfizer, John Legend, 0:22:46.840 --> 0:22:50.000 and the Black women of it all. What I think 0:22:50.200 --> 0:22:54.560 Dylan is suggesting is that John Legend sort of functions 0:22:54.680 --> 0:22:59.119 as a two pronged threat to the black community. He 0:22:59.240 --> 0:23:06.000 number one, sort of attracts black women into buying into 0:23:06.480 --> 0:23:10.080 sort of like this relationship with medicine that is not 0:23:10.200 --> 0:23:14.840 necessarily proven or safe with this obviously giant corporation. But 0:23:14.880 --> 0:23:19.280 then additionally he creates like this, this sort of infighting 0:23:19.840 --> 0:23:23.240 in black households where black women are attempting to get 0:23:23.240 --> 0:23:27.399 their husbands and lovers and family to buy into the 0:23:27.920 --> 0:23:32.399 medicine that they have been trained their entire lives to 0:23:32.520 --> 0:23:36.840 doubt and fight against and I love it. I'm in 0:23:36.920 --> 0:23:37.280 on this. 0:23:37.359 --> 0:23:42.960 I mean, I don't I wouldn't call it as extreme 0:23:43.040 --> 0:23:45.359 as that, but I think I have a level of 0:23:45.400 --> 0:23:49.760 white clat syndrome for sure. WHOA, yeah, say more. 0:23:50.160 --> 0:23:52.040 I don't fuck with the doctor. I feel like I 0:23:52.080 --> 0:23:54.600 don't get listened to. Mmm. 0:23:55.800 --> 0:23:57.760 I didn't feel like that as a kid, but as 0:23:57.760 --> 0:24:01.760 an adult, since having had health in insurance, it's like 0:24:02.000 --> 0:24:07.680 the process is so yeah, I very much feel like 0:24:07.720 --> 0:24:10.000 I'm not being listened to. I feel kind of like 0:24:10.040 --> 0:24:14.320 I'm not being believed, which is interesting because and I've 0:24:14.359 --> 0:24:16.960 always had that with the doctor, right like just this, 0:24:17.359 --> 0:24:20.119 and I'm like, I feel like part of it is 0:24:20.160 --> 0:24:23.320 a dark skinned thing, you know what I mean? Yeah, 0:24:23.400 --> 0:24:27.159 but just like never my pain never seeming like a 0:24:27.200 --> 0:24:33.440 big issue or anything like that. So I definitely and 0:24:33.520 --> 0:24:35.080 I was that's so funny. I was talking to my 0:24:35.080 --> 0:24:37.360 girl about it recently and she feels the same way. 0:24:37.359 --> 0:24:38.720 She said, when she goes to the doctor, they just 0:24:38.760 --> 0:24:41.600 tell her one thing, you know what I mean, Like 0:24:41.680 --> 0:24:43.600 even that when she's like this is and we know 0:24:43.680 --> 0:24:47.720 that the rate of that is even higher with black women. 0:24:47.800 --> 0:24:51.280 Right right, And we've read about them a few times 0:24:51.280 --> 0:24:54.000 on the podcast, but there are a fair amount of 0:24:54.119 --> 0:24:59.800 like studies that corroborate essentially what you're saying that, like, 0:25:00.520 --> 0:25:04.000 dark skinned people more often than not are experiencing, like, 0:25:04.840 --> 0:25:08.760 you know, interactions with with the medical professionals that suggest 0:25:08.840 --> 0:25:11.960 that they're not being heard and their pain isn't being 0:25:12.040 --> 0:25:16.399 validated or or treated with any sort of seriousness. And 0:25:16.440 --> 0:25:20.840 so that all feels possible, right, Like that all feels real. 0:25:20.920 --> 0:25:22.960 It doesn't feel like some shit where it's just like 0:25:23.080 --> 0:25:26.840 you going crazy alone being like my doctor's not nice whatever. 0:25:26.880 --> 0:25:29.840 I fuck. That's why I trying to find black doctors. 0:25:30.440 --> 0:25:35.000 I did get an African dentist one time. It was interesting, 0:25:42.480 --> 0:25:46.080 and I don't that's I'm not gonna say anything because 0:25:46.640 --> 0:25:49.760 because I've been problematic as it relates to your people. 0:25:49.800 --> 0:25:54.080 But but I wouldn't be a no African dental acts. 0:26:03.560 --> 0:26:05.879 Here was my I think my issue was that I 0:26:05.920 --> 0:26:12.200 wanted him to be flashier. I was like black African dentist, 0:26:10.000 --> 0:26:18.639