Speaker 1: We have to start the Steal Tour. We're very excited
Speaker 1: about it. I'm not about to bite my tongue. We
Speaker 1: want to sell it out and the dates are coming
Speaker 1: up fast, and so if you live in one of
Speaker 1: these areas, we want you to buy your tickets now.
Speaker 1: It's all available on our instagrams, on our websites, on
Speaker 1: our link tree. But you can see us in Washington,
Speaker 1: DC on October tenth, Detroit, Michigan on October twelfth, Chicago
Speaker 1: October thirteenth. October seventeenth, we're in La in Hollywood. We'll
Speaker 1: be in Atlanta on Halloween, October thirty.
Speaker 2: First.
Speaker 1: We want y'all to come out. We want y'all to
Speaker 1: kick it. We will be doing our coveted live show
Speaker 1: with special guests, with just me and David. Depending on
Speaker 1: the city, it'll be a great time.
Speaker 3: All that meet and greets you've been Chris Brown has
Speaker 3: a good meet and greet.
Speaker 1: Bro.
Speaker 4: Let's be clear, I'll take a weird picture with you
Speaker 4: for free.
Speaker 3: You want to say with the pictures we said to
Speaker 3: sending pictures to yourself, maybe don't, lady, you will find
Speaker 3: as hell that's not the issue. We're both in relationships
Speaker 3: we can't be getting late night pictures of women.
Speaker 1: And that's all I'm going to say. Is stressing David out.
Speaker 1: Me myself. I can handle it. You do whatever you
Speaker 1: need to do. But you're stressing David out and uh,
Speaker 1: maybe chill out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I got the I got the email up on
Speaker 3: my phone. I'm checking it in bed.
Speaker 1: It complicates things. You need not show us what you
Speaker 1: were working with and said picture that. Olivia says, I
Speaker 1: don't want to see it. Okay, Well I guess I'm
Speaker 1: out voted. Uh, and that's fine.
Speaker 3: I know what if you want us to see them,
Speaker 3: send it to Langston personally. Why aren't you an addressing
Speaker 3: email to Langston? And it says them and okay, and
Speaker 3: show them all of them.
Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, let's just pump the brakes. It's a lot
Speaker 1: easier to explain it when it's a group email and
Speaker 1: not not my personal collection.
Speaker 4: Qualitys are racists.
Speaker 5: The money stuff, I can't tell me.
Speaker 1: Who wants the sex matumbo? There it is, there, it is.
Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome little mamas and gentiles alike to
Speaker 1: another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast
Speaker 1: where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories,
Speaker 1: and we finally work to prove that Nell Carter died
Speaker 1: a generation too early to be celebrated for the badass
Speaker 1: big lady she truly was. That lady was fine. I
Speaker 1: think Nell Carter was a battie and they spent a
Speaker 1: lot of time calling her a big, old chubby ugo
Speaker 1: and and that was like, the whole bit was, who
Speaker 1: would want to have sex with Nel Carter? Guess what
Speaker 1: old Langston herman would have sex with Nell Carter today,
Speaker 1: tomorrow and forever. I want to, first of all say
Speaker 1: a double r p H. Carter and m given would
Speaker 1: jump up and now I'm with you. Though that was
Speaker 1: bad she That was that little updude, a little shortcut.
Speaker 1: It was. It was of a It was of a time,
Speaker 1: I would say. And it's it's.
Speaker 3: Interesting because yeah, they talked all that ship. Ten years later,
Speaker 3: Monica came out with the same thing, and we loved
Speaker 3: her for it.
Speaker 1: We loved her because because she fit a certain profile.
Speaker 1: You know, she was a skinny battie. But but the
Speaker 1: big girl bodies got their wave and unfortunately, now what's
Speaker 1: a little too early for it? Well, now we want
Speaker 1: you to know wherever you are, we will hit. We
Speaker 1: will hit if yeah, I've been heaven listening, we will hit.
Speaker 1: We wull No, God, bless you, God, bless you, God
Speaker 1: bless that haircut man. What shot? Do we have a
Speaker 1: heaven at this point? You know, I think seventy thirty
Speaker 1: I do some things in my personal life. Okay, you
Speaker 1: still think you have like a decent chance at heaven.
Speaker 1: The way you responded to that makes me feel like
Speaker 1: you don't. I don't think you have a chance. Or
Speaker 1: I don't think I have a chance, but you don't
Speaker 1: think you have a chance. Yeah, I don't think I
Speaker 1: got a pretty I don't think I wow. I think
Speaker 1: at this point it's less a question of me going
Speaker 1: to heaven and where where do I go? Do you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like I think, I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't know that I'm a subscriber in in the idea
Speaker 1: of hell. I I that to me feels sort of
Speaker 1: like a fictitious thing. But certain Jewish No, I I
Speaker 1: didn't grow up with any No, I didn't grow up
Speaker 1: with any like deep connections to the Jewish religion. But
Speaker 1: I do connect with that part of the of the faith,
Speaker 1: if that makes sense. That, like, just on a logical sense,
Speaker 1: it does feel false to me that there's just a
Speaker 1: place for an eternal damnation because I cussed and wasn't
Speaker 1: nice to my neighbor's wife or whatever it is. Here's
Speaker 1: my problem with there being no hell, then I'm damn
Speaker 1: sure not going to heaven. Does that? Does that mean? Well,
Speaker 1: that's what I'm wrestling with. I know, so I I
Speaker 1: need there to be a hell so I can make
Speaker 1: it to heaven. Yeah. I think like there might be
Speaker 1: a version of this where like you don't go to heaven,
Speaker 1: but you go to like you become like a spirit
Speaker 1: that just lives in line at Burger King, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. Where it's just like that's the differnity
Speaker 1: for you, because here's.
Speaker 3: How I always viewed it before. The difference between heaven
Speaker 3: and Hell is like the difference between a D minus
Speaker 3: and a f.
Speaker 1: Oh sing, where hey, I got it sixty though you're
Speaker 1: trying to be one of them. That's like right at
Speaker 1: the end, and goes my bad guy, and then he's like,
Speaker 1: come on, that's exactly it. Let me get that. I'm
Speaker 1: point nine away. But that's enough, that's enough. Yeah. But
Speaker 1: then if you put some other place in there. Well,
Speaker 1: now I'm I'm rocking to c Miners. I don't know
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna do. You did enough that the teacher goes, David,
Speaker 1: can you hang back for a second. Oh I remember
Speaker 1: that conversation. Now I'm gonna pass you, but I shouldn't you.
Speaker 1: You're really pushing it, man, And and if you're gonna
Speaker 1: be something in your life, then you're gonna have to
Speaker 1: make some other choices.
Speaker 6: I will miss Carlisle. I promise I'm gonna work on it.
Speaker 6: Here's the talk I got. Your grades were fine during
Speaker 6: football season, then all of a sudden, mid November rolls
Speaker 6: around and you're failing everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it's true. I I myself maintained pretty solid
Speaker 1: grades the whole time, but but you did. But I
Speaker 1: respect that everybody had a different journey out there. And
Speaker 1: I just watch my teachers have that conversation with my friends,
Speaker 1: and yeah, it's very funny.
Speaker 3: From afar, it's so funny to watch, like this is
Speaker 3: this is not great, but like, do you remember just
Speaker 3: making fun of people for being stupid in school? Because
Speaker 3: my thing is I was bad at school, but I'm
Speaker 3: smart enough that I could like you couldn't be like,
Speaker 3: this guy's a fucking idiot. But then they'd be like,
Speaker 3: but Jeff can't balance equation or whatever.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, dog we I would say
Speaker 1: some of my most joyous moments were making fun of
Speaker 1: the the extensive failures of my peers, just being like,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, just especially when I was
Speaker 1: playing basketball, Like dudes who couldn't play that week because
Speaker 1: like they didn't make grades or whatever the time we
Speaker 1: had BROF. That happened to me once too, and it
Speaker 1: was awful. It was my junior year, and I remember
Speaker 1: sophomore year. I remember you had to run all practice
Speaker 1: and then you had to run conditioning that week, like
Speaker 1: so you didn't get to practice at all. And then
Speaker 1: the coach would just make me run different directions, so
Speaker 1: he'd be like, bory, b wait, maybe there's an a
Speaker 1: over there, but there's not. And frankly, you keeping me
Speaker 1: here running is not gonna help me improve my studies
Speaker 1: in any way, shape or form.
Speaker 3: I think if you were a good coach, you would
Speaker 3: understand that the F started at home.
Speaker 1: Well, the F started at home. I needed more help
Speaker 1: than than you yelling uh you the health teacher yelling
Speaker 1: at me. Can offer, bro He wasn't even a teacher.
Speaker 1: We brought a hitter in. He was a construction workers.
Speaker 5: He.
Speaker 1: Owned a concrete business. He was dirty. He drove his
Speaker 1: truck onto the field before practice. No, that's not right,
Speaker 1: you know, Come on, man, they have to have some
Speaker 1: tether to the to the educational system so that they
Speaker 1: know how to help liaison these relationships.
Speaker 2: Otherwise you're just a man yelling at me, a man
Speaker 2: yelling at me for frankly, tests that you can't even scale,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like, you don't even know
Speaker 2: how hard that test was.
Speaker 1: You're just being mean to me because you didn't didn't
Speaker 1: get good grades. The life of a student athlete, Man,
Speaker 1: it's tough. I I miss it every day.
Speaker 3: I never miss it. But it's because I wasn't good enough.
Speaker 3: I was like good enough to start, but I wasn't
Speaker 3: good enough to get any specialty treatment. It's just like, Okay,
Speaker 3: you're starting because you're the best defensive tackle we have here,
Speaker 3: but that's not a great pool sharp.
Speaker 1: What up? What up there? Boy? You got a future? Ye? Man? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I do miss I missed. I know I didn't play football,
Speaker 1: but I do miss basketball a lot. And and I
Speaker 1: miss Shannon Sharp. I missed the Shannon Sharp he was,
Speaker 1: and not the Shannon Sharp that that everybody has has
Speaker 1: found out he is. I missed my house the good
Speaker 1: old days. Man, what a time when we have the
Speaker 1: defect to Baltimore. But now I don't want to hear
Speaker 1: you talk. No, it's tough. It's tough hearing that mushmouth
Speaker 1: man speak that said, we're not here to talk about
Speaker 1: Shannon Sharp or football or basketball. Frankly, we have an email.
Speaker 1: Uh it's a Langston David episode of David Langston episode.
Speaker 1: We we we're gonna talk some ship, we're gonna hang out,
Speaker 1: we're just gonna chill for a minute. But we got
Speaker 1: an email from a person that we're excited about. I
Speaker 1: think our ears perked up at the possibilities that that
Speaker 1: come from this salacious email. Uh. It's subject line reads,
Speaker 1: fuck is Fizer on which great, great great? I'm in. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's a good way to start an email. I
Speaker 1: like that, and like put a picture in. And I
Speaker 1: like when they start with fuck you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: or just a big old naughty word right at the beginning.
Speaker 1: That makes me want to read it. Yeah, Dylan sent
Speaker 1: us a message he said, greetings and salutations Linthsen and
Speaker 1: David E Para Olivia k pedo, puto pedo. I don't know. Uh,
Speaker 1: I'm not a Spanish speaker, Olivia. That was for you anyway. Uh,
Speaker 1: it ain't got nothing to do with us. I saw
Speaker 1: this goofy fucking Ffiser commercial during the Niners game today,
Speaker 1: and I cannot think of a single reason why they
Speaker 1: needed John Legend drinking honey on a piano with fuck
Speaker 1: me eyes except for some good old fashioned white devil Shenanigans.
Speaker 1: That sounds right to me already. And I don't I
Speaker 1: don't even know what the commercial is. I haven't seen
Speaker 1: the commercial. Were you familiar with this commercial before?
Speaker 3: I'm not, But I'm on board with all right, some
Speaker 3: I and this is a conspiracy within a conspiracy, the
Speaker 3: conspiracy to make us think John Legend is the sexiest
Speaker 3: man in the world.
Speaker 1: You guys gotta relax, You gotta relax putting all this
Speaker 1: John Legend. He looks like a teacher. It's fine, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I look like a door guy. That's my lot in life.
Speaker 1: You don't feel like you know what I mean? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I feel it. I think there was this weird period
Speaker 1: where John Legend looked like what we think he should
Speaker 1: look like. He looked like a little mouseman in big
Speaker 1: thick sweaters, and we were like, that's John Legend. We
Speaker 1: agree on that he's not a sexy man, but he
Speaker 1: has sexy man voice and make sexy man music cool.
Speaker 1: And then John Legend did a fuck ton of push
Speaker 1: ups and got into pretty good shape for John Legend,
Speaker 1: and then suddenly we just accepted that John Legend was
Speaker 1: supposed to be a sex symbol when in fact, no,
Speaker 1: that's still a mouseman who did push ups.
Speaker 3: The song is called ordinary People.
Speaker 1: You regular, my nigga, You ain't. You ain't even supposed
Speaker 1: to be over here.
Speaker 3: And that's why I like you because I bought your CD,
Speaker 3: which was a Christmas present to my mom at Targan.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's cool. Yeah, No, John Legend, And this
Speaker 1: isn't this We want to be clear, this isn't some
Speaker 1: negative attack on like John Legend. It's it's more just
Speaker 1: let's rescale the the attractiveness measurements, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like we gotta we gotta balance the the the scales. Again.
Speaker 3: I just feel like we need to let normal and
Speaker 3: ugly people do shit in entertainment. And again, yeah, you
Speaker 3: don't gotta be fine to sing, you don't, It's fine.
Speaker 7: I agree, you gotta be fine to play the drums.
Speaker 7: I agree, And and even I think about like Jonathan Majors,
Speaker 7: who who obviously went through his big transformation and then
Speaker 7: a more complicated one. But there was a period where
Speaker 7: like people were fully trying to convince us that that
Speaker 7: was a sect a fine man, that he was like handsome,
Speaker 7: and let's be clear, y'all, he's not.
Speaker 1: He's finny, might be handsome. I actually have to differ
Speaker 1: with you on that. I think, what are we doing?
Speaker 1: What is this podcast? We can't agree on what Jonathan
Speaker 1: Majors looks like? You saw Rocky. Yeah, he's big and
Speaker 1: buff and and he certainly plays the part, But no,
Speaker 1: that's not a handsome man. Does he have the face
Speaker 1: of your cousin who was good at football? Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: he's odd faced and he no, come on, and he
Speaker 1: dresses like he uh, he dresses like a slave. And
Speaker 1: he dresses like he keeps a bottle of cod liver
Speaker 1: oil in his pocket, you know what I mean. Like
Speaker 1: he's a fucking that's not a handsome man. What are
Speaker 1: we talking about. Here's my question to you, because you
Speaker 1: flirt with the space of handsome man. If you got
Speaker 1: Jonathan Major's buff, would we ever see you again? Uh?
Speaker 1: I don't think so. I I think I've done everything
Speaker 1: in my power. I'll be honest with you. I've done
Speaker 1: everything in my power not to get buff, because I
Speaker 1: think that if I end up in that space, I
Speaker 1: can't keep doing comedy, certainly not at any version of
Speaker 1: a respectable level. And I will say, and we if
Speaker 1: Newly talks to the social media team, blur this out.
Speaker 1: I was watching your new television show. Yeah, and I
Speaker 1: did take a screenshot that I was saving. I told
Speaker 1: my girl. I was like, it's like Christmas, it's gonna come.
Speaker 1: It's gonna I had to find it. Posit I posit it.
Speaker 1: I can show you I'm never gonna be more self
Speaker 1: conscious than than for the rest of always. I guess
Speaker 1: because I don't know what it is, but it gives
Speaker 1: me nightmares. I haven't even sure. Yeah, it gives me nightmares.
Speaker 1: I fucking hate this. This is awful. What a terrible
Speaker 1: thing that's happening. I hate it. Guys with me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: It's just I know, if I funk around and get jacked,
Speaker 1: it's over. Man. I can't keep going. See I'm the opposite.
Speaker 1: If I got jacked, I would do a shock level
Speaker 1: number of endorsements. No, that's that's crazy. If I know
Speaker 1: that's not crazy, that makes sense. If I get Buff,
Speaker 1: I'm selling out dog. That's what I mean. I think.
Speaker 1: If I get Buff, I'm just going to walk the path.
Speaker 1: I get what what Michael B. Jordan did. Do you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? He was like, I got Buff.
Speaker 1: It took me a lot of time and energy to
Speaker 1: make these muscles. I am going to use them to
Speaker 1: the best of their ability and be the star of
Speaker 1: every buff dude thing available. You don't then go and
Speaker 1: you know, hang out with riff raff. I gotta make
Speaker 1: a choice. You see, I'm cutting everything. I'd be a
Speaker 1: you call me Terry News. I'm the new You see
Speaker 1: me popping all of a sudden. That is change. You'd
Speaker 1: be popping a lot now. Uh. Dylan goes on to say,
Speaker 1: my conspiracy is that Peiser partnered with the Black Church
Speaker 1: on the John Legend flu shot commercial as a way
Speaker 1: to galvanize old black women to buy into the medical
Speaker 1: machine more and challenge their hotel husbands, thus creating both
Speaker 1: more flu shot income for Pfizer from traditionally untrustworthy black folks,
Speaker 1: as well as more conflict and division in black families
Speaker 1: via inciting old hard headed niggas to double down on
Speaker 1: their views and never go to the doctor. By intensifying
Speaker 1: old heads experience of white coat syndrome, which is obviously valid,
Speaker 1: as well as the jealousy and insecurity from their wives
Speaker 1: wanting John Legend to eat their pussies out, amplified chronic
Speaker 1: stress well expedite their imminent early demise, creating more free
Speaker 1: time for black superwomen our nation heroes who don't know
Speaker 1: how to have fun to only focus on sacrifice service
Speaker 1: via work in church. Thank you all for your high
Speaker 1: jinks and tomfoolery. This podcast is one of the things
Speaker 1: that got me through grad school. All the best, Dylan, Damn.
Speaker 3: One minor point I do want to make. That's how
Speaker 3: you know John your Legend's not fine. They're imagining him
Speaker 3: eating their pussies.
Speaker 1: You're saying, fine, man, you imagine them blowing your back out.
Speaker 1: I would imagine. And I'm not a woman. Sure, I
Speaker 1: don't know, but I would assume. Yeah, but but regular
Speaker 1: men you go, I bet you eat me out good,
Speaker 1: and yeah, treat me nice. Dylan lays down a pretty
Speaker 1: uh I would say thoughtful and heavy theory here. I
Speaker 1: wonder if it's worth us taking a break because he's
Speaker 1: laid down his tracks. Maybe we take a break. We
Speaker 1: give y'all a second to buy products. I'm sure they're
Speaker 1: great products, and then when we come back, we'll talk
Speaker 1: a little bit more about our thoughts on Dylan's conspiracy.
Speaker 1: That sound good. I've been doing hell yeah, So we're
Speaker 1: going to take break. We'll be back with more Dylan's
Speaker 1: email and more. Mamma told me we have to start
Speaker 1: the Steal Tour. We're very excited about it. I'm not
Speaker 1: about to bite my tongue. We want to sell it
Speaker 1: out and the dates are coming up fast, and so
Speaker 1: if you live in one of these areas, we want
Speaker 1: you to buy your tickets now. It's all available on
Speaker 1: our instagrams, on our websites, on our link tree. But
Speaker 1: you can see us in Washington, DC on October tenth, Detroit,
Speaker 1: Michigan on October twelfth, Chicago October thirteenth, October seventeenth, we're
Speaker 1: in La in Hollywood. We'll be in Atlanta on Halloween,
Speaker 1: October thirty. First, we want y'all to come out. We
Speaker 1: want y'all to kick it. We will be doing our
Speaker 1: coveted live show with special guests, with just me and David.
Speaker 1: Depending on the city, it'll be a baun all that
Speaker 1: meet and greets. You've been Chris Brown has a good
Speaker 1: meet and greed. Bro. Let's be clear.
Speaker 4: I'll take a weird picture with you for free.
Speaker 1: You raggedy bitch, and you ain't shit niggas. We are
Speaker 1: better commercial. Yeah yeah, I like we're discussing Pfizer, John Legend,
Speaker 1: and the Black women of it all. What I think
Speaker 1: Dylan is suggesting is that John Legend sort of functions
Speaker 1: as a two pronged threat to the black community. He
Speaker 1: number one, sort of attracts black women into buying into
Speaker 1: sort of like this relationship with medicine that is not
Speaker 1: necessarily proven or safe with this obviously giant corporation. But
Speaker 1: then additionally he creates like this, this sort of infighting
Speaker 1: in black households where black women are attempting to get
Speaker 1: their husbands and lovers and family to buy into the
Speaker 1: medicine that they have been trained their entire lives to
Speaker 1: doubt and fight against and I love it. I'm in
Speaker 1: on this.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't I wouldn't call it as extreme
Speaker 3: as that, but I think I have a level of
Speaker 3: white clat syndrome for sure. WHOA, yeah, say more.
Speaker 1: I don't fuck with the doctor. I feel like I
Speaker 1: don't get listened to. Mmm.
Speaker 3: I didn't feel like that as a kid, but as
Speaker 3: an adult, since having had health in insurance, it's like
Speaker 3: the process is so yeah, I very much feel like
Speaker 3: I'm not being listened to. I feel kind of like
Speaker 3: I'm not being believed, which is interesting because and I've
Speaker 3: always had that with the doctor, right like just this,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, I feel like part of it is
Speaker 3: a dark skinned thing, you know what I mean? Yeah,
Speaker 3: but just like never my pain never seeming like a
Speaker 3: big issue or anything like that. So I definitely and
Speaker 3: I was that's so funny. I was talking to my
Speaker 3: girl about it recently and she feels the same way.
Speaker 3: She said, when she goes to the doctor, they just
Speaker 3: tell her one thing, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 3: even that when she's like this is and we know
Speaker 3: that the rate of that is even higher with black women.
Speaker 1: Right right, And we've read about them a few times
Speaker 1: on the podcast, but there are a fair amount of
Speaker 1: like studies that corroborate essentially what you're saying that, like,
Speaker 1: dark skinned people more often than not are experiencing, like,
Speaker 1: you know, interactions with with the medical professionals that suggest
Speaker 1: that they're not being heard and their pain isn't being
Speaker 1: validated or or treated with any sort of seriousness. And
Speaker 1: so that all feels possible, right, Like that all feels real.
Speaker 1: It doesn't feel like some shit where it's just like
Speaker 1: you going crazy alone being like my doctor's not nice whatever.
Speaker 1: I fuck. That's why I trying to find black doctors.
Speaker 1: I did get an African dentist one time. It was interesting,
Speaker 1: and I don't that's I'm not gonna say anything because
Speaker 1: because I've been problematic as it relates to your people.
Speaker 1: But but I wouldn't be a no African dental acts.
Speaker 3: Here was my I think my issue was that I
Speaker 3: wanted him to be flashier. I was like black African dentist,
Speaker 3: Oh you wanted the okay, See, I don't want.
Speaker 1: Any medical professional to be flashy in any way, shape
Speaker 1: or form. That is like the biggest turnoff for me
Speaker 1: as a really Yeah, I like sensible shoes. I like
Speaker 1: when your office looks like you borrowed it, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like you don't even don't even put
Speaker 1: your fucking picture on the wall. You are here to
Speaker 1: work and go home. I like that, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? I like it. It's just it's this is
Speaker 1: just honest, clean work. This ain't got nothing to do
Speaker 1: with like your I once I I when I my
Speaker 1: dermatologist was once paired, they had like one of those
Speaker 1: shared offices with a plastic surgeon, and the plastic surgeon
Speaker 1: had like massive screens that played these videos of like
Speaker 1: the heroic work that this man was doing all over
Speaker 1: not only America, but back he was African, and he
Speaker 1: would go back in Nigeria and giving him big as titties.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I brings to my village.
Speaker 1: You know what it was.
Speaker 5: For you, for you queen, But there it was like
Speaker 5: it was like one of those five sets of Day videos.
Speaker 5: But the kid just as huge.
Speaker 8: It's just it's just big titty kids running next to
Speaker 8: his car as he waves at him like Muhammad Ali,
Speaker 8: big old titties bouncing, They're so happy.
Speaker 1: No, his whole ship was like he was given. He
Speaker 1: was doing like titty jobs in America, but back in
Speaker 1: his home I think he was Ghanaian. I think back
Speaker 1: in Ghana he was doing breast reductions. That was his
Speaker 1: big ship. Was like he was helping to resolve you know,
Speaker 1: back issues and save lives via these breast reductions. But
Speaker 1: I told him it seems great. Yeah. No, the videos
Speaker 1: were horrifying, just mountainous women, uh who looked like they
Speaker 1: were in agony. Truly, it was he was doing positive work,
Speaker 1: but it was this insane thing of like, I'm here
Speaker 1: to get my acne resolved, and I'm just watching video
Speaker 1: after video of this man and the three. He suit
Speaker 1: talking about how good of work he's doing back in
Speaker 1: his home country, and it just felt crazy. You know
Speaker 1: the motherland. Yeah, because he taking them back. No, because
Speaker 1: they got big as Mama Mama milkers. But that is
Speaker 1: that is insane. I don't want a flashy doctor, I think,
Speaker 1: is my point. But more importantly, I I guess I
Speaker 1: I see how sort of like intentional this commercial seems,
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? Like, if nothing else,
Speaker 1: it seems like they are targeting a group. When they
Speaker 1: get John Legend to be the voice of Pfizer, and
Speaker 1: I wonder what that what that specific group is, and
Speaker 1: what Dylan is saying doesn't feel that off base to me.
Speaker 3: I think for sure. I think for sure. I mean
Speaker 3: I don't I don't know the weight of flu shots
Speaker 3: within black people women specifically, but it does feel like
Speaker 3: a concerted effort, which feels dark to me. I don't
Speaker 3: want my listen. I'm fine celebrities or shills, the whoors,
Speaker 3: that's the point in the job. Yeah, sell me Coca Cola,
Speaker 3: don't tell me. Don't tell me to get a shot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's crazy, right because, like, on one end,
Speaker 1: I one hundred percent agree, we're gonna have to sell things,
Speaker 1: and it's part of the nature of the beast. Truly,
Speaker 1: every fucking entertainment conglomerate is owned by a financial institution
Speaker 1: or tech and so like you are eventually going to
Speaker 1: have to sell out. There's no exemption to that, exception
Speaker 1: to that rather, But on the flip side, you can
Speaker 1: make choices. You don't gotta be. You don't gotta be
Speaker 1: John Legend telling me to go get a phizor shot.
Speaker 1: That seems crazy. I would respect it more if you
Speaker 1: tell me to get viagra. Hmmm, that would be cool. Yeah,
Speaker 1: why what's the difference for you? That's not like a
Speaker 1: medical necessity. Oh you're saying, if you want to fuck
Speaker 1: around over here, come on and fuck around over here.
Speaker 3: He should have been in your big titty doctor's office
Speaker 3: like that. That is fine for me.
Speaker 1: I get that. Yeah, I think that's maybe that's a
Speaker 1: good rule of thumb. Celebrities should only be allowed to
Speaker 1: endorse voluntary medicines, not ones that are meant to be
Speaker 1: like for real life changing. I think that. I think
Speaker 1: that's great, Olivia says. Travis Kelce is the spokesperson too
Speaker 1: a Pfizer. Yeah, for the flu shots, I guess. And
Speaker 1: that makes sense. If you need to get black people
Speaker 1: on board, black women on board, you go John Legend
Speaker 1: because they don't know who black women actually find sexy anymore.
Speaker 1: And then on the flip you get Travis Kelsey, who
Speaker 1: white people have deemed very sexy, even though he's trying
Speaker 1: his hardest not to be damn all right, but did
Speaker 1: you see what he did to himself? No?
Speaker 3: I don't, I bro, I'm not watching any football this year.
Speaker 3: Oh really, I cut the cord. WHA is this like
Speaker 3: a political stance? Or you just like, I can't keep
Speaker 3: buying into this.
Speaker 1: I just can't. I just I just don't care anymore.
Speaker 1: Oh Travis, Well then you should know Travis kelcey upon
Speaker 1: sort of like pre Taylor Swift. Obviously he was getting
Speaker 1: like a high fade and oh yeah, I remember that
Speaker 1: was swagged out and shit. And now he looks like
Speaker 1: a cop. He just fully has transformed into like a
Speaker 1: thick mustache, no beard. He don't get his fade the
Speaker 1: way he used to anymore. He just truly has been
Speaker 1: like I am I am a white man, and I
Speaker 1: should have been the whole time. So he's like the
Speaker 1: white guys you went to high school with. Yep, Yeah,
Speaker 1: where he just grew up and was like, I'm a
Speaker 1: decent white man. I don't know what that phase was.
Speaker 1: I'm never gonna talk about it again. Yeah, he puts
Speaker 1: down to Sean Jones, I'm gonna retire this, and not
Speaker 1: for the reasons you think. Yeah, I'm cool with piff Daddy.
Speaker 1: I I just can't wear it anymore because I'm white.
Speaker 1: We have to start to steal tour. We're very excited
Speaker 1: about it. I'm not about to bite my tongue. We
Speaker 1: want to sell it out, and the dates are coming
Speaker 1: up fast, and so if you live in one of
Speaker 1: these areas, we want you to buy your tickets now.
Speaker 1: It's all available on our instagrams, on our websites, on
Speaker 1: our link tree. But you can see us in Washington,
Speaker 1: DC on October tenth, Detroit, Michigan on Ourctober twelfth, Chicago
Speaker 1: October thirteenth, October seventeenth, We're in La in Hollywood, will
Speaker 1: be in Atlanta on Halloween, October thirty. First, we want
Speaker 1: y'all to come out. We want y'all to kick it.
Speaker 1: We will be doing our coveted live show with special guests,
Speaker 1: with just me and David. Depending on the city, it'll
Speaker 1: be a great time all that meet and greets. You
Speaker 1: think Chris Brown has a good meet and greet.
Speaker 4: Bro, Let's be clear, I'll take a weird picture with
Speaker 4: you for free.
Speaker 3: Olivia also says black men may have better health outcomes
Speaker 3: when treated by black doctors. It's proven through various studies.
Speaker 3: I mean, I do think that that's true, but I
Speaker 3: think that's like because we think so little of women
Speaker 3: in this place.
Speaker 1: Yeah, my issue with the medical field because I similarly
Speaker 1: have a lot of wariness around the doctor. I think
Speaker 1: my issue is more the compartment of the doctor. Like,
Speaker 1: if I'm experiencing something, the only way I can I
Speaker 1: can even go and get the help that I need
Speaker 1: is to go through my my general practitioner, ask you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, like main person, and then they
Speaker 1: send me to the next person. And it's like, Bro,
Speaker 1: if I'm really in pain or I'm really suffering or
Speaker 1: whatever it is, I just need to see a guy
Speaker 1: to fix or a lady to fix this, don't I
Speaker 1: don't want to have to take steps to take steps.
Speaker 1: That sucks.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that is also difficult. I needed to get a
Speaker 3: sea pat machine because I have really bad sleep avenue
Speaker 3: and this shit took like five months. That's nuts. We
Speaker 3: got to get these rich people doctors. And that's what
Speaker 3: Do'll say. Put me onto that. She said, all the
Speaker 3: good doctors. It's like referrals only.
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, I think if you can nail down one
Speaker 1: of them rich people doctors, you get whatever you want
Speaker 1: whenever you want it kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, you
Speaker 1: can call them at home. But all that.
Speaker 3: All that just say I think that this conspiracy, I
Speaker 3: think this is pretty plausible. I don't know about the
Speaker 3: reasoning so much is like when you go to things
Speaker 3: like this, I think the reasoning, at least behind companies
Speaker 3: is always just more money. I don't think it's like
Speaker 3: I don't think. I don't think it's ever deeper than that.
Speaker 3: I think maybe they got like, oh, black people don't
Speaker 3: get flu shots? Who do the blacks?
Speaker 1: Like yay, yeah, you're saying it didn't It didn't have
Speaker 1: to be deeper than that. It just they needed a
Speaker 1: guy and John Legend makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was.
Speaker 1: He was gonna take the check that. I don't disagree
Speaker 1: with that. I do think sometimes we put a weight
Speaker 1: to things that maybe don't need or or don't exist.
Speaker 1: Like I don't think that sometimes we give white people,
Speaker 1: and certainly evil white people, more credit than they deserve.
Speaker 1: They're not brilliant masterminds. More often than not, they're just
Speaker 1: due to are Like I bet I could get richer
Speaker 1: if John Legend pretended to have gotten a flu shot.
Speaker 1: That said, I do think they start to recognize the
Speaker 1: benefits of certain things, and I do think that like
Speaker 1: it may not have been the original plan to create
Speaker 1: this dissension at home, but certainly I think they recognize like, oh,
Speaker 1: it seems like they're fighting a little bit about this.
Speaker 1: Maybe we should do a couple more of those just
Speaker 1: to see what that does. So I don't know that
Speaker 1: it was the original plan, but I don't think they're
Speaker 1: mad at the payoff. And here's the worst part for me,
Speaker 1: it's fucked up as a system is I do think
Speaker 1: that more black people going to the doctor is better
Speaker 1: than that, No. One hundred and Frankly, I think that
Speaker 1: whatever our fears are relating to certain medical practices or
Speaker 1: certain medical experiences, I think the flu sh ain't where
Speaker 1: they're gonna get us, do you know what I mean that? Like,
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, we have a very
Speaker 1: legitimate reason to fear our relationship with medicine because of
Speaker 1: the history of this country. But I don't think they're
Speaker 1: aiming for us via the flu shot. I don't think
Speaker 1: they're aiming for us via COVID. I think they're gonna
Speaker 1: be aiming for us much honestly, much closer to home
Speaker 1: with like the foods that we eat, the types of
Speaker 1: recommendations or care that they offer when problems start to
Speaker 1: occur inside of families, right that, like they will recognize
Speaker 1: to your point about your medical experience. They will recognize
Speaker 1: a family history of certain ailments or diseases or disorders
Speaker 1: and say nothing because they do not see you as
Speaker 1: a potential person worth saving. Yeah, I hate that. It's
Speaker 1: the crazy part because they asked you to fill out
Speaker 1: these charts and you go, do you have any use
Speaker 1: of such and such heart disease, diabetes, whatever? And I
Speaker 1: think we fill out those forms and they're like, nigga,
Speaker 1: I ain't reading this ship. Yeah, fun out of here,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like, I think it's that
Speaker 1: energy that's truly where medicine is hurting us more than
Speaker 1: like we're gonna put fucking promenthesine in their flute shot
Speaker 1: and make them sleepy audit, you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 1: I don't think it's that man, This one this really out.
Speaker 1: It started off fun. I'd say, oh no, oh no,
Speaker 1: you're behind the curtain there listening to the ordinary people.
Speaker 1: I was gonna I was I was gonna queue it
Speaker 1: up so that I could just play the party, say
Speaker 1: we're just onary. I thought that would be really funny.
Speaker 1: And then like if you're computer was like, hey look
Speaker 1: at him, look, look, look look what are you doing
Speaker 1: over here? Watch this dumb ass video black or White man.
Speaker 1: I thought he was a genius when that started. I
Speaker 1: was like, man, John Legend, is it he would? Man? Okay,
Speaker 1: here's what I will say.
Speaker 3: I think he was marketed to us that way, and in
Speaker 3: the same way that we've talked about it before. There
Speaker 3: was that whole genre of neo soul type of shit.
Speaker 3: It was like, are you smart listening to John Legend?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah. If you're a dumb dumb just trying to
Speaker 1: get some ass, you'd listen to Jaheen. But if you're
Speaker 1: really trying to if you're really trying to grow with
Speaker 1: your lady, you gotta listen to some John Legend. Like
Speaker 1: if you want some pussy, listen to Tank. Yeah. Oh man, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I do think that's true. I think he was sort
Speaker 1: of like meant to be this elevated artist because he
Speaker 1: could play the piano and was sort of like had
Speaker 1: a you know, a quality of self seriousness about what
Speaker 1: he was doing that that they really sold to us. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and now he's selling visor and that I think maybe
Speaker 1: proves Dylan's point even more that like they made him
Speaker 1: a very legitimate person who we were meant to take
Speaker 1: seriously on matters of love and care and being what
Speaker 1: it meant to be intimate and now he is a
Speaker 1: mouthpiece often for like the Democratic Party. He's very happy
Speaker 1: to volunteer himself for all kinds of products, and one
Speaker 1: of the scariest of that list is fucking flu shots. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Man, well there's no guys, you won't hear us doing that.
Speaker 3: But funny fact, if you want to sponsor this shit,
Speaker 3: get at your boys.
Speaker 1: Have you done a honey pack? No? But are you
Speaker 1: taking one?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 1: Have you? No? No? I took I took what was?
Speaker 1: I took a blue shoe once a couple of years
Speaker 1: ago and it didn't work. Actually, oh really, I didn't
Speaker 1: even need it. I just somebody gave me when I
Speaker 1: was like, see, yeah, I never needed to be more horny.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm doing pretty good just off of just a
Speaker 1: raw elements inside my own body, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's one of the levels I've maintained a very high
Speaker 1: If anything, I can use a horny suppressor. If there's
Speaker 1: anything out there that does that, you need like a
Speaker 1: honeypack silencer? Where's that? Where's that? How come they don't
Speaker 1: have like a medicine for those of us who get
Speaker 1: to horny throughout. Yah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can take away my horny from nine to
Speaker 3: five pm. I would get so much done.
Speaker 1: Bro. If there was a way to make me not
Speaker 1: horny when I'm trying to get real work done, I
Speaker 1: would mayn I would cruise. It would be gross. I'd
Speaker 1: be an addict. That's my limitless pill. What's the opposite
Speaker 1: of honey? Let's do a vinegar pack? We do for
Speaker 1: all you boys out there that are too horned up,
Speaker 1: just just rock hard while you're trying to focus on
Speaker 1: your your work. We were handing out vinegar packs, and
Speaker 1: we're getting you right, We're getting you.
Speaker 3: You sick of getting you think of getting rocked up
Speaker 3: at home? Depot a Minnie pack? Oh yeah, we're telling
Speaker 3: mini packs.
Speaker 1: Baby. This is a million dollar idea. I think we
Speaker 1: can get some money, dude, I think I think this
Speaker 1: is huge. If yeah, if anybody out there is is
Speaker 1: uh an investor, if anybody is sort of tied to
Speaker 1: any secret fortunes that they're willing to waste on solid
Speaker 1: ideas that we haven't thought through much, send it all here.
Speaker 1: Because we got a good idea with these Vinnie packs.
Speaker 1: There we go. I think we did it? This is it?
Speaker 1: That was it. We didn't take our second commercial, but
Speaker 1: justin please forgive us. I don't know. We're trying to
Speaker 1: invest and honestly we are just you failed. You almost
Speaker 1: at it and so crazy. That would have gone crazy
Speaker 1: if I teed it up perfect. God damn it. He
Speaker 1: can cut the fat off the front. If he cares
Speaker 1: about you, he'll do it all right, because I'm going
Speaker 1: to be in bed thinking about that at night. Yeah no,
Speaker 1: you just know. I know you fucked up? Is that
Speaker 1: retaliation for the topless picture? I get it? I am
Speaker 1: just I.
Speaker 2: Gotta get.
Speaker 3: A Oh man, Langston, do you want to tell the
Speaker 3: people where you're gonna be at?
Speaker 1: More cool things you're going on? Uh? Yeah. You you
Speaker 1: can follow me at Langston Kerman on all social media
Speaker 1: platforms and uh and you can see me on tour
Speaker 1: with David. It's to start the Steal tour. I believe
Speaker 1: this episode is right before the tour kicks off, the
Speaker 1: release and we are fucking pumped.
Speaker 3: D C than Detroit, the Detroit, come out, don't think
Speaker 3: about it, Come out, Bring everybody you love, bring some
Speaker 3: people you hate.
Speaker 1: Detroit stopped playing with us, Come on out, Mel Mitchell,
Speaker 1: mel Mitchell's gonna be there, Leah Vernon's gonna be there.
Speaker 1: It's an insane lineup of folks. It's going to be
Speaker 1: a very good time. We would like for you to
Speaker 1: be there. Please come out more importantly, not more importantly,
Speaker 1: but the entire tour is going to be crazy. So
Speaker 1: if you don't live in Detroit, Chicago, or DC, there's
Speaker 1: plenty of opportunities to come see us, and we want
Speaker 1: to see you out there. Yeah, exactly what you got?
Speaker 3: Cool guy joke eaty seven on Instagram, Patreon, dot com, backslash,
Speaker 3: David Bori, D A v I, D G B O
Speaker 3: R I E. Go on there. It's like sixty five videos.
Speaker 3: Now you could buy my special Birth of a Nation.
Speaker 3: It's very funny. And then yeah, come see us on tour.
Speaker 1: Oh. Also October twenty fourth through twenty seventh, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be its rooster T Feathers in Sunnyvale, California, working on
Speaker 1: this new hour that is there. All right, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: talk to you for an hour.
Speaker 3: Yeah, some of it good, some of it untested.
Speaker 1: That's okay, you'll get the testing. Well yeah, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: all I got. Okay. Well, as always you can. You
Speaker 1: you should send us your drops, your own conspiracies if
Speaker 1: you want to tell us how we can we can
Speaker 1: find some investors for our Vinnie pack. Send it all
Speaker 1: to my mama pod at gmail dot com. We would
Speaker 1: love to hear from you by the merch like subscribe.
Speaker 1: Oh we've been talking about this. We listen. We David
Speaker 1: and I are not social media experts. We we we
Speaker 1: since we are We are just two funny gentlemen who
Speaker 1: are not particularly good at the Internet, but try our
Speaker 1: best every day. But we at my mama told me,
Speaker 1: along with the folks at Big Money Players, are making
Speaker 1: a new concerted effort to transform our relationship with social media.
Speaker 1: We are going to have more consistent video both on
Speaker 1: the Instagram, on the YouTube, on TikTok. All the shit
Speaker 1: is about to transform around here and we want your help.
Speaker 1: So subscribe, like do all the things, rate, review, and
Speaker 1: tune in. Every Tuesday and Thursday, the episodes are released,
Speaker 1: and then every Wednesday and Friday, you're gonna see the
Speaker 1: videos on YouTube and they're gonna be gorgeous videos, crisp
Speaker 1: crisp videos where you can see all the horrific things
Speaker 1: we say and do with each other. So send that
Speaker 1: go check it out, enjoy. If you're a person that
Speaker 1: likes to watch, it's available. If you're a person that
Speaker 1: prefers to listen, that's also available. We would love to
Speaker 1: engage with you, and most importantly by the merch like
Speaker 1: to get great review Buy tickets by by your Mam
Speaker 1: and i'e Christmas gift. Bye bitch. We don't know. Wait,
Speaker 1: it sucks. This fucking sucks. My Mama Told Me is
Speaker 1: a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and
Speaker 1: iHeart Podcasts. Greeted and hosted by Langston Krekin, co hosted
Speaker 1: by David Borie.
Speaker 3: Executive produced by Will Farrell, Hansani and Olivia Akilon.
Speaker 1: Co produced by Bee Wayne, edited and engineered by Justin Kopfon,
Speaker 1: music by Nick Chambers, artwork by Dogon Kreega. You can
Speaker 1: now watch episodes of My Mama Told Me on YouTube.
Speaker 1: Follow at My Mama Told Me and subscribe to our channel.