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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og story

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Speaker 1: Time podcast host.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we got some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 1: But before that, we get a teeny two minute break

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Speaker 1: from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like

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Speaker 1: a little house.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, my cousin tried to sabotage our other cousin's

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Speaker 3: wedding by.

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Speaker 1: Wearing white and a wedding dress.

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Speaker 3: Sorry for the length of advance and for any mistakes.

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Speaker 3: English is not my mother tongue. This happened a few

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Speaker 3: years ago. Cousin Elle female than twenty one. It's name

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Speaker 3: her Louisa, was getting married. I live in another country,

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Speaker 3: but offered to travel earlier to help with stuff, and

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Speaker 3: also offered to do her makeup. I have done wedding

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Speaker 3: makeup professionally. She said yes to the help, but that

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Speaker 3: our other cousin Jay female uh Julia twenty seven back

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Speaker 3: then would do her makeup. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 3: from Weekly Piccolo four seven four on the Okay Storytime

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Speaker 3: severed it. This took me off guard, mostly because this

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Speaker 3: cousin is legally blind with only twenty percent visions. She's like,

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Speaker 3: she can't possibly do makeup better than me. Also, the

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Speaker 3: apparently to be legally blind. You just have to be

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Speaker 3: like past negative two seventy five, So technically apparently I'm

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Speaker 3: legally blind. Really, yeah, it shows do you have a prescription?

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Speaker 3: What's your prescription? Negative three seventy five, negative two seventy five,

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Speaker 3: You're pretty blind. But my cousin said she had done

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Speaker 3: her makeup a couple of times and trusted her, so

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Speaker 3: I let it go. Fast forward to the week of

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Speaker 3: the wedding. This is not part of the drama per se,

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Speaker 3: but it was so bizarre I have to add it.

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Speaker 3: The bachelorette party was cat themes, not sexy halloween cat

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Speaker 3: costume kind of party, no picture, a birthday party for

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Speaker 3: a three year old, and you'll be in the right

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Speaker 3: childish part.

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Speaker 4: What does that even mean?

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Speaker 2: Who came up with this idea?

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Speaker 3: She made? She made us wear cat eers, paint our

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Speaker 3: noses and whiskers. She even wore a tail. This just

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Speaker 3: sounds like Dan and Phil fans. I don't know what

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Speaker 3: that is. Yeah, sorry, I was a reference that maybe

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Speaker 3: some of you will get.

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Speaker 2: Maybe I'm too old.

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Speaker 4: She hasn't convinced me it's not sexy yet.

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Speaker 3: Still, I haven't heard anything otherwise.

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Speaker 2: If you want to be a furry. You could be

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Speaker 2: a furry. There's no hate.

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Speaker 3: I mean, okay, denounce it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't have bad I think.

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Speaker 4: Was trying to come out right now, and you guys

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Speaker 4: aren't letting me get back in.

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Speaker 3: The room was filled with balloons with sharpie cat faces,

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Speaker 3: the cake had cat features, the works. This was a

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Speaker 3: family affair, so seeing all the old women of the

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Speaker 3: family with whiskers on was beyond trippy. I did my

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Speaker 3: makeup for that party with the cat I so a

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Speaker 3: few of them asked me to do theirs for the wedding,

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Speaker 3: not my cousin, though a couple of days later it's

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Speaker 3: the wedding day. I had to wake up at four

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Speaker 3: thirty am so i'd have enough time to prepare myself,

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Speaker 3: my mom, and the three other cousins who asked me

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Speaker 3: to do their make I'm finishing the last one and

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Speaker 3: I get a panic phone call from cousin Louisa, the

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Speaker 3: one who's getting married, asking where I am. Apparently cousin

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Speaker 3: Julia cannot do her liner, probably because she could barely see,

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Speaker 3: and I was supposed to do it, even though nobody

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Speaker 3: told me why. This was not thought of before. By

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Speaker 3: now involved the really trusted Julia.

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Speaker 4: But was it Julia like I'm blind, you probably don't

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Speaker 4: want to ask me this, or trying to empower herself.

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Speaker 3: She was like, I just have to believe in myself.

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Speaker 3: And then she got there, she was like, oh, I

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Speaker 3: believe too hard.

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Speaker 4: Turns out belief doesn't get you past physical impediments gets

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Speaker 4: you halfway.

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Speaker 3: Got my dad to take me there asap. Got to

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Speaker 3: the bride's room and I see her makeup. I there

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Speaker 3: are no words. Oh no. First of all, my cousin

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Speaker 3: is gorgeous. She has a beautiful olive skin tone, not

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Speaker 3: a single blemish, gorgeous almond shaped eyes, chiseled cheek bones.

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Speaker 3: For her, I'd have added some shine, a tinted moisturizer,

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Speaker 3: some blush, a natural eyeshadow, you know, the normal natural

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Speaker 3: blushing bride one expects. But that was not what cousin

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Speaker 3: Julia had done. She had made Louisa by a full

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Speaker 3: coverage extra Matt foundation that did not match her undertone

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Speaker 3: at all. Not the undertone. I'd done some heavy contour

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Speaker 3: on her, no blush, no highlight, not even cover the

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Speaker 3: dark spots under her eyes with a brighter concealer. Dehydrated

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Speaker 3: and almost like a skull.

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Speaker 5: No, it went from Helen of Troy to skeletor, like,

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Speaker 5: oh my god, what are these descriptions.

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Speaker 4: I mean, she's just like highly accurate, and that's what

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Speaker 4: she looked like, roasting the crap out.

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Speaker 3: She looked freaking ugly, disgusting. Not to mention, the bass

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Speaker 3: was not fully blended onto her neck, so there was

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Speaker 3: a lineikes and the contour wasn't blended at all. Then

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Speaker 3: the eyes she had used dark brown in the wrong

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Speaker 3: undertone ak it clashed on the crease and she had

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Speaker 3: not blended it at all. Then a bronze shimmer on

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Speaker 3: the lid, but it didn't even reach the matte brown,

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Speaker 3: so there was a gap in between both shadows. The

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Speaker 3: poor woman looked like a clown, like the three year

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Speaker 3: old that had organized the cat party had also done

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Speaker 3: her makeup. Geez, oh, p is not.

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Speaker 1: A whole thing, zero anything.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, bars, yeah, she's getting very descriptive.

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Speaker 2: She could have been like, didn't look good, that's all

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Speaker 2: you had to say.

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Speaker 3: She looked detail.

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Speaker 4: Opie never insults me.

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Speaker 3: I could take it. I would cry. I would have

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Speaker 3: to curl up in a ball and pass away.

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Speaker 5: He can give me a compliment because that original compliment

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Speaker 5: was like all of shaped eyes, all of skin, Like

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Speaker 5: what you.

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Speaker 4: Don't get one without the other, you get like a

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Speaker 4: whi wonderful compliment and like a soul crushing insult.

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Speaker 3: I didn't have a single brush with me. I was

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Speaker 3: supposed to do eyeliner and we were short on time.

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Speaker 3: I still tried blending the harsh lines. Well, no chance.

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Speaker 3: Julia had powdered everything down and used some glue like

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Speaker 3: fixing spray. Nothing on her face would budge a millimeter.

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Speaker 3: There was no time to even wash her face, and

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Speaker 3: she didn't even seem to realize how bad it was.

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Speaker 3: Maybe she's like chill with it. Maybe she's like yeah,

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Speaker 3: Maybe she was like I kind of like it, and

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Speaker 3: Opie's just really going in at her and.

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Speaker 4: She did like a cat kitty bachelotte party. Maybe she's

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Speaker 4: like kind of she's maybe she's like into the yeah,

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Speaker 4: you know, like grabbing it whatever vibe.

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Speaker 3: I did a small cute wing. She went to do

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Speaker 3: her mascara and complain that the curler doesn't do a

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Speaker 3: thing for her. It was missing the silicone bit, so

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Speaker 3: it didn't even touch her eyelashes. I wonder whether she

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Speaker 3: too can't see much, but she's blind. She put her

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Speaker 3: wedding dress on, gorgeous, very nice and simple, look like

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Speaker 3: something Audrey Hepburn would have worn, and off we went.

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Speaker 3: Instead of walking down the aisle like a normal couple,

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Speaker 3: he decided at the last minute that he wanted to

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Speaker 3: see her arrive in the limousine, and we had a

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Speaker 3: hilarious moment when she just grabbed him by the hand

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Speaker 3: and quite literally dragged him down the aisle, walking ridiculously fast.

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Speaker 3: Everyone was crying with laughter, but it was so like

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Speaker 3: them that we actually loved it. That's so sweet. They're

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Speaker 3: so they're so quirky. Ceremony goes well, and everybody's taking

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Speaker 3: the mandatory pictures with the couple outside. That's when I

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Speaker 3: see cousin Julia. She was wearing a white dress. Julia, well,

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Speaker 3: she's she's legally blind. She was like, I didn't know

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Speaker 3: it was white. She's like, I'm also I'm not colorblind,

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Speaker 3: but I didn't know. I didn't. I swear I didn't know.

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Speaker 5: Not so Julia. If you guys get that right, I

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Speaker 5: don't get that it's a it's bread. It's Charlie XCX.

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Speaker 5: Now I guess you guys don't understand. Sorry, I guess

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Speaker 5: summer anymore, you are out with it. I'm not even

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Speaker 5: really brottom. It's kind of printer now.

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Speaker 3: Not just white Nope, white lace knee length with tiny

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Speaker 3: touches of gold thread at the waste and bottom seam.

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Speaker 3: But a white dress.

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Speaker 4: This is a hate crime. She can't see op, she

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Speaker 4: doesn't know.

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Speaker 3: You're being able. And her makeup was freaking flawless, y'all.

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Speaker 3: What natural Fresh highlighted just right? She looked like a

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Speaker 3: blushing bride. The girl who did the bride's makeup did

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Speaker 3: her own makeup?

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Speaker 4: Maybe sabotage.

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Speaker 3: I think this sounds like sabotage. I was beyond flabbergasted.

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Speaker 3: Did she do it on purpose? Surely she must have

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Speaker 3: no way she can do her own makeup that well

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Speaker 3: and f up the bride's one so badly. I had

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Speaker 3: moved to another country seven years before, as most of

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Speaker 3: my family is a little toxic, and I'd gone low

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Speaker 3: to no contact with her and the rest of them

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Speaker 3: except cousin Louisa and my parents. I love those three.

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Speaker 3: I'm glad you loved your parents. So I wasn't there

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Speaker 3: long enough to get a feel for any jealousy or

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Speaker 3: anything else. But I see no other explanation. And by

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Speaker 3: the way, there is no explanation for you guys not

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Speaker 3: joining us live every weekday on YouTube, Facebook and TikTok

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Speaker 3: at Twitch sometimes for the four people had three pm

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Speaker 3: PSD just have her profile. I don't trust. I feel

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Speaker 3: like it's sabotage.

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Speaker 4: You think sabotage.

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Speaker 3: I think it's sabotage. We don't know why, but I

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Speaker 3: think it's sabotage.

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Speaker 4: What a wildly ballsy thing to do. Yeah, sabotage to

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Speaker 4: like mess with the brides makeup and then show up flawless.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, show up flawless makeup, white dress. She's like, let's

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Speaker 3: just swaps. I'm already here. So ballsy. I respect it.

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Speaker 2: You were my practice.

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Speaker 3: It's so ballsy it just might work. But there is

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Speaker 3: a little bit left to this tale of sabotuur nice

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Speaker 3: cat tail, cattail cattail as a little taste of my

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Speaker 3: family toxicity. During the reception, instead of the boring speeches,

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Speaker 3: some of my cousins had prepared a mostly fun video,

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Speaker 3: but a few of the not so fun jokes were

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Speaker 3: centered about how cousin Louisa was adopted after her parents

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Speaker 3: found her in a rubbish bin. Oh my god, where

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Speaker 3: a gee family must have dumped her because of her

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Speaker 3: dark skin. Just full on racism. Wait, she's just a

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Speaker 3: little more tan than the rest of us, but she

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Speaker 3: looks just like her dad, and her tan just makes

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Speaker 3: her look gorgeous. The sister of Julia has used this

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Speaker 3: joke to bully Louisa since she was a tother. By

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Speaker 3: the way, I could make a whole post just on

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Speaker 3: her bs. Just full on racism. At Louise's wedding Okay, wait, wait,

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Speaker 3: who who's being her cousins? Her cousin, So her cousins

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Speaker 3: instead of the boring speeches, decided to make jokes about

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Speaker 3: Louisa being darker at her own wedding. At her own wedding, again,

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Speaker 3: this was a little taste a wedding. Literally, just like

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Speaker 3: using a slur at a wedding. Crazy Jesus. The sister

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Speaker 3: of Julia has used this joke to bully Louisa since

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Speaker 3: she was taller. By the way, I can make a

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Speaker 3: whole boast diner. Yes, anyways, the bride was too happy

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Speaker 3: enjoying her day to even notice the fake bride walking

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Speaker 3: about and both cousins are now divorced, so I guess

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Speaker 3: it doesn't matter. So it was a third one. Quite recently,

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Speaker 3: I start to wonder if we are cursed. But it

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Speaker 3: is one of those things that pops into my head

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Speaker 3: at three am, and I wonder, what do y'all think?

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Speaker 3: I mean, honestly, I feel like Louise is kind of chilling.

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Speaker 3: I feel like she lets things roll off her back.

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Speaker 3: She's like, my makeup's trash, who cares. I'm like, I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna enjoy my wedding with my husband and walk him

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Speaker 3: down the aisle, and then you know her family's been

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Speaker 3: raisedst She's like, you know.

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Speaker 4: What, whatever, you guys are hating wedding.

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Speaker 3: But that's the end of that story.

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Speaker 4: My disrespectful brother chose his girlfriend over our sick mother,

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Speaker 4: so I'm cutting contact.

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Speaker 3: With him, get rid of him out door.

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Speaker 4: I need everyone to buckle up, because this is going

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Speaker 4: to be a long story. I female turning twenty one soon,

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Speaker 4: was never really close to my brother male nineteen. Maybe

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Speaker 4: it's a siblings thing, or the fact that our personalities

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Speaker 4: are too different, whatever it may be, I always felt

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Speaker 4: like he was acting close to me only when he

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Speaker 4: needed help. With schoolwork, and he basically avoided, ignored, or

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Speaker 4: even bullied.

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Speaker 3: Me when I was not useful. That's so sad. Not

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Speaker 3: the most healthy. Not a vibe.

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Speaker 4: Not a vibe. That's what you just gotta tell him,

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Speaker 4: you're not being a vibe live. It's like, oh, my

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Speaker 4: bad vibe more. That's that's proper communication and its finest.

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Speaker 4: So that type of behavior never made me want to

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Speaker 4: be close to him, and I've already made peace with that.

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Speaker 4: And by the way, this comes from you depressed kat

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Speaker 4: Ella on the r okay storytime subreddit. So what baffles me, however,

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Speaker 4: is that despite being super close with our mom female

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Speaker 4: forty seven, sometimes almost to the point of being a

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Speaker 4: mom's boy, he starts to be distant and later ignored

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Speaker 4: our mom despite her getting diagnosed with eye cancer.

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Speaker 3: I've never heard of eye cancer. Yeah, you can get

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Speaker 3: cancer in many different places.

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Speaker 4: I know that, I just never heard of this one

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Speaker 4: getting diagnosed.

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Speaker 3: With I I'm sorry, are you laughing.

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Speaker 1: Now?

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Speaker 4: You're both laughing, and I think you're laughing at her

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Speaker 4: eye cancer right now.

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Speaker 3: This is messed up.

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Speaker 4: So getting diagnosed with eye cancer and having her left

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Speaker 4: eye completely removed. Fun fact, my dad's dogs left eye

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Speaker 4: is completely removed.

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Speaker 2: That was not a fun fact. That was a sad fact.

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Speaker 4: Well now it's kind of cute, are they Okay?

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, great had one eye and she gets around fines.

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Speaker 4: So just because his girlfriend was super controlling and honestly

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Speaker 4: jealous even though we heard his family and not her competition.

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Speaker 4: But Girley is kind of crazy. What can I say?

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Speaker 4: So this girlfriend was jealous of his own family.

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Speaker 3: It seems like you guys are too close.

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Speaker 4: He's like, it's my family too cloud So now I

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Speaker 4: need to add some additional context. Our mom is a

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Speaker 4: single parent. She raised us basically on her own, as

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Speaker 4: our father was an alcoholic with a tendency to be

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Speaker 4: violent towards my mom, which is why she divorced him

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Speaker 4: when I was six and he died of a heart

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Speaker 4: attack two years after that. He was on heart meds before,

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Speaker 4: and you're not allowed to drink while being on those meds,

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Speaker 4: so basically he dug his own grave. Our father was

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Speaker 4: never a dad to us. He was almost not present

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Speaker 4: in our lives and just gave us trauma. Though I'm

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Speaker 4: not sure how much of that my brother remembers since

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Speaker 4: he was young or when they started a divorce, and

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Speaker 4: mom tried to somehow shield us from abuse, even making

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Speaker 4: sure that I took my brother to a safer place,

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Speaker 4: So in that way, he was sort of shielded from

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Speaker 4: all the abuse. I specifically wanted to mention that because

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Speaker 4: my mom, though she tried her best to raise us

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Speaker 4: as good people and to treat both of us equally,

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Speaker 4: always sort of shielded my brother since he was younger

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Speaker 4: and a problem child, whereas I was easier to raise

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Speaker 4: since I mentally matured earlier than my peers, was a

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Speaker 4: lot more self sufficient and never needed help with schoolwork

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Speaker 4: and such.

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Speaker 3: And also probably Op's going through this kind of parentification

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Speaker 3: where her mom like truly is can't help, like probably

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Speaker 3: couldn't help other people that much because she was going

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Speaker 3: into in the midst of dealing with the ex, and

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Speaker 3: so Op's kind of having to take on this parental role.

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Speaker 3: So like does feel more mature.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, for sure, that makes sense.

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Speaker 3: It's a good point.

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Speaker 4: And also not only like parenting, but like protecting.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, having to literally take him out of these situations

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Speaker 3: and then still not have a good relationship with him, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: good point.

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Speaker 4: So I even went to high school in a different city,

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Speaker 4: my country's capital city, staying at student dorms. Student dorms.

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Speaker 4: I didn't know that were high school student dorms.

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Speaker 3: I don't know. Well, I mean maybe it's like a

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Speaker 3: boarding school.

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Speaker 4: And then continue to do the same since I started

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Speaker 4: university up until last year at least. So let's introduce

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Speaker 4: my brother's girlfriend into the story. Now, let's call her Stacy.

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Speaker 4: Obviously not her real name, though even if I did

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Speaker 4: put her name, she would never know since neither of

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Speaker 4: them speak English.

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Speaker 3: Anonymous, So the brother and the girlfriend don't yeah, because

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Speaker 3: they don't. They don't think. I don't think they live

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Speaker 3: in an English speaking country.

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Speaker 4: Interesting, I wonder what country they live in. Thea sy

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Speaker 4: is a year younger than my brother. They have been

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Speaker 4: dating for two to five years now, not.

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Speaker 3: As two two and a half years. Thank you.

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Speaker 4: That was a huge range that I just glossed over him.

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Speaker 3: Been dating in the range of.

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Speaker 4: Two to five years, depending on the day and how

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Speaker 4: they're feeling.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, mostly off two point five years now, Okay, you're right,

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Speaker 6: it's common instead of period because they're in a non

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Speaker 6: English speaking country, not as problematic in my country, and

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Speaker 6: also since they were both miners at the time, they

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Speaker 6: started dating as far as I know, and also because

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Speaker 6: the difference is like just a year, and have met

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Speaker 6: through their mutual friends, since we were all from the

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Speaker 6: same village and we kind of went to the same

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Speaker 6: elementary slash.

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Speaker 4: Middle school one eight year schooling institution in my country,

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Speaker 4: followed by four years for high school with my brother

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Speaker 4: and Stacy went to high schools in nearby cities, traveling

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Speaker 4: from home since it's like half an hour by bus

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Speaker 4: for my brother and a bit longer for her. Since

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Speaker 4: the beginning, I wasn't really close with Stacy as she

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Speaker 4: was completely opposite for me personality wise, and also because

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Speaker 4: I wasn't even that close with my brother and I

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Speaker 4: was at dorms most of the time, coming home like

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Speaker 4: once a month or even two months. It's interesting that

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Speaker 4: not that close for her brother, even though she had

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Speaker 4: that interesting like parents have died relationship.

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Speaker 3: I think, I think it can happen where like the

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Speaker 3: brother's like, oh, you're not my mom.

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Speaker 4: Yeah kindment because of it. So their relationship developed quite fast,

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Speaker 4: even slept over at her or our family houses not

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Speaker 4: even a few months into the relationship. That is fast

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Speaker 4: considering they're you know, younger. Yeah, so I expressed concerns

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Speaker 4: over this fast development to my mom, since they were

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Speaker 4: both young and this was like a second relationship my

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Speaker 4: brother had had. He was getting progressively more and more

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Speaker 4: simply like towards Stacy as time went on.

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Speaker 3: She's like, he's a damn sim freaking simple.

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Speaker 4: I'm fine with it. If he wasn't such much a simp,

364
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Speaker 4: if you was were aloof chump, it would be so chilly.

365
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:06,320
Speaker 4: He's a spu. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't

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Speaker 4: really care about them that much. She's like, to be clear,

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Speaker 4: they suck and I don't care. But but if I

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Speaker 4: did care, But I was concerned because my brother would

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Speaker 4: spend all the money he earned working part time and

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Speaker 4: later after high school, full time on Stacy, and would

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Speaker 4: also make my mom take Stacy with her when she

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Speaker 4: went shopping for clothes to buy her something too, just

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Speaker 4: buy her little little treat, little something something.

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Speaker 3: He still wait, the mom is buying the Yeah, the

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Speaker 3: moms buying this stuff for the The.

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Speaker 4: Brother is making the mom buy stuff for his girlfriends. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: that is interesting, and she just goes with it. She's like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: that checks out.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 4: To me, this whole situation seemed to be out of

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Speaker 4: hand since we're not in the best financial situation. And

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Speaker 4: while my mom never asked my brother for his money

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Speaker 4: or made him pay for a household bills, she never

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Speaker 4: expected she would have to pay for stuff for his

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Speaker 4: girlfriend too.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, she's got another third mouth to feed now. Exactly

387
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Speaker 3: interesting that she complied and she was like, and now

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Speaker 3: they also live together.

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Speaker 4: I think I don't know if they live together, but

390
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Speaker 4: they kind of stay at each other's house this way. Also,

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Speaker 4: Stacey kind of struck me as someone with main characters syndrome.

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Speaker 3: The terminology that Obi is using it, it's like subtle

393
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Speaker 3: roasting this whole story. And I kind of know it's

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Speaker 3: kind of a SIMP.

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Speaker 4: I'm kind of an alpha, you know, I'm like major

396
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Speaker 4: sigma vibes, and the GF is kind of beta right now,

397
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Speaker 4: since her behavior was super entitled. For example, last year,

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Speaker 4: when she found out my mom and I were shopping

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Speaker 4: for winter jackets without her, both of us had our

400
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:43,040
Speaker 4: jackets for a while and needed new ones. Not that

401
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,040
Speaker 4: it matters since it was never her business to begin with,

402
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:49,320
Speaker 4: she made my brother buy her not one, not two,

403
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:53,040
Speaker 4: but four jackets and a coat for the winter.

404
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Speaker 3: How many jackets just one person need for the winter.

405
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Speaker 2: Hey, you gotta look fine when the weather's not fine.

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Speaker 3: I don't think I've ever bought four jackets in one year. Yeah,

407
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:02,520
Speaker 3: because guess.

408
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:02,880
Speaker 1: Where you live.

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00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:04,120
Speaker 2: That's fair.

410
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Speaker 4: This is just one example. Yeah, but I have plenty more,

411
00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:10,000
Speaker 4: But I think this one shows her character well. To

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Speaker 4: continue the story, I have to say that Stacy never

413
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:15,400
Speaker 4: really liked me and always saw me as a competition.

414
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,960
Speaker 4: She would always make jabs at me in every conversation,

415
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,800
Speaker 4: so that I would always avoid talking to her too much,

416
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,399
Speaker 4: though that was impossible when they stayed at our house.

417
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,720
Speaker 4: Then last year, from September to early January this year,

418
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,280
Speaker 4: her behavior got even worse. And after a fight over

419
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:31,960
Speaker 4: a bed I'll get to that that she somehow had

420
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Speaker 4: on her own without ever voicing her complaints to me,

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Speaker 4: she made my brother move in with her and her

422
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Speaker 4: whole family.

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Speaker 3: Very messy family.

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00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,520
Speaker 4: I would have to talk for days if I started

425
00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:46,119
Speaker 4: talking about them too. Whole situation is just messy bed thing. Now, Okay,

426
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,200
Speaker 4: we don't have one house, but kind of like two

427
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:51,000
Speaker 4: houses next to each other with like a front and backyard.

428
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:54,040
Speaker 4: This house belonged to my late maternal grandpa, who we

429
00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:57,200
Speaker 4: stayed with after mom's divorce and basically till his death.

430
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Speaker 4: Now only one of those homes is heated during winter,

431
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Speaker 4: and we squeezed there to save up on heating. Stacy

432
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,080
Speaker 4: and my brother would have separate room when they were

433
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:08,119
Speaker 4: at our place, my late Grandpa's room to be specific

434
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:10,600
Speaker 4: important later and my mom would sleep in the living

435
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:12,560
Speaker 4: room area right next to that room.

436
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:13,880
Speaker 3: The mom's in the living room.

437
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:18,040
Speaker 4: Oh wow, so that the the door son and her

438
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Speaker 4: son's boy or girlfriends gives me.

439
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:23,320
Speaker 3: They're on their own rooms. Like, yeah, I'll take the couch.

440
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,840
Speaker 3: It's totally fine. The couch is company nice.

441
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:29,280
Speaker 4: So I was at dorm and would only come for

442
00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:31,840
Speaker 4: weekends sometimes, so I slept on a pull out couch

443
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,280
Speaker 4: in the large guest room area that was a bit

444
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,880
Speaker 4: colder than the main area, which I never minded that much,

445
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,720
Speaker 4: but my mom would always feel sorry to me. Last December,

446
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:42,200
Speaker 4: I came home this time to stay since I left

447
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,200
Speaker 4: dorm and was going to travel to UNI from home.

448
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,879
Speaker 4: Decision I made since my mom was working and tired

449
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:49,439
Speaker 4: all the time needed help with house and doll and

450
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:51,359
Speaker 4: the two of them were far more helpful and in

451
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:52,560
Speaker 4: fact are helpful.

452
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 3: Important yeah. I was like, oh, they are turning, they're

453
00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,280
Speaker 3: being helpful. This is not sweet.

454
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,960
Speaker 4: No, we're going the opposite way. They were far from

455
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,879
Speaker 4: helpful and in fact just made a more mess because

456
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:05,800
Speaker 4: they almost never did any housework.

457
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,320
Speaker 3: So again Op's back in this role of having to

458
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:12,800
Speaker 3: kind of parent again with like adults. Though now I mean,

459
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:15,320
Speaker 3: at least are the adults now, well, I've assuming they're

460
00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:16,200
Speaker 3: around eighteen. Now.

461
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,960
Speaker 4: Maybe I came back with Saturday. Mom and I were

462
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,280
Speaker 4: tired from the move, and since my brother and Stacey

463
00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 4: weren't staying over, I just put their beddings to wash,

464
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,000
Speaker 4: put mine in that room, and slept there. Now I

465
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,439
Speaker 4: have to say it's not the first time this has happened.

466
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,480
Speaker 4: I was too tired of My Mom also wanted me

467
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:33,199
Speaker 4: to be closer to her so we could chat, and

468
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,760
Speaker 4: she also didn't want me to have to pull out

469
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,080
Speaker 4: the couch and basically sleep in a colder room when

470
00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 4: I had a free bed. No one had any issues

471
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:41,520
Speaker 4: with this. This is my house after all, well no

472
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:42,560
Speaker 4: one but Stacy.

473
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:47,280
Speaker 3: Course, Stacey had a problems with her maid syndrome, and

474
00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,400
Speaker 3: this whole house is my house.

475
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:52,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, well maybe it is. Maybe the family just needs

476
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:53,960
Speaker 4: to get on her signal waves.

477
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:56,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, have we thought about that?

478
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:59,120
Speaker 2: Stop with the brain rod. I was like, oh, it's

479
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:00,040
Speaker 2: stupid because.

480
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:03,320
Speaker 3: He didn't start the brain rots. But I'll finish it.

481
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:06,640
Speaker 2: What the sigma? I always finish it.

482
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 3: You never okay to yourself, let's keep going.

483
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:15,680
Speaker 4: Apparently she didn't like that I slept in her bed.

484
00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 3: Oh now she owns all the beds, didn't dealing with

485
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:20,480
Speaker 3: the lord of the beds there.

486
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:24,760
Speaker 4: She actually feels entitled to a bed in a house

487
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:26,280
Speaker 4: that is not hers.

488
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,840
Speaker 3: It's it's not which bed was it? Did they specify

489
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 3: it wasn't a pullout?

490
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,800
Speaker 4: No, I think it was in one of the rooms. Okay, okay, Yeah,

491
00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:36,240
Speaker 4: so it was one of the rooms that the girlfriend

492
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:37,239
Speaker 4: usually sleeps in.

493
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,919
Speaker 3: But because Opie was coming.

494
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 4: Home, she wanted to chat with her mom, and her

495
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:43,200
Speaker 4: mom felt bad for her. They were going to move

496
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:45,720
Speaker 4: her into the room the girlfriend usually sleeps in, and

497
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,840
Speaker 4: the girlfriend was like, that's actually my room.

498
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, too bad. Again, this is my house.

499
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,160
Speaker 4: And again, this was my grandpa's room before he died,

500
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,800
Speaker 4: meaning he slept in that bed. Later my brother slept

501
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 4: in that bed, and like, I'm sure at some point

502
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,520
Speaker 4: my mom slept there too, changed beddings to my own.

503
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:04,120
Speaker 4: Theirs needed to be washed anyway, she was not there

504
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:07,120
Speaker 4: at that time. I truly didn't and still don't see

505
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:09,879
Speaker 4: the issue here. And to reiterate, she actually got pissed

506
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 4: at me on her own, never told me that to

507
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:15,760
Speaker 4: my face, but decided to make my brother move in

508
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,359
Speaker 4: with her and her whole family. And then she texted

509
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:22,119
Speaker 4: my mom saying some vague messages about how she felt disrespected.

510
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:25,480
Speaker 3: Okay, so what just happened was she didn't get to

511
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:28,000
Speaker 3: sleep in the bed that she usually sleeps in, so

512
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:31,280
Speaker 3: she took Opie's brother and moved into her parents house.

513
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:34,119
Speaker 4: Yeah, she's like, you're coming with me or moving in

514
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 4: together because they're stealing my bed.

515
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:40,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, that's ridiculous and offered. They've given this girl

516
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:44,800
Speaker 3: so much. They've given her four sweaters or one coat.

517
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:47,000
Speaker 3: That's crazy, that's so many.

518
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:51,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, be happy with that. So yeah, Curly doesn't like

519
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 4: me for no reason, got mad at me because of

520
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:57,639
Speaker 4: a bed and decided to just isolate my stupid simp.

521
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:58,000
Speaker 3: Of a brother.

522
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,879
Speaker 4: This is getting more aggressive. Decided to isolate my stupid

523
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,520
Speaker 4: simp of a brother from his family instead of I

524
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:07,200
Speaker 4: don't know, acting like a normal person and maybe talking

525
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:10,520
Speaker 4: to me if she has any issues, but no, that's

526
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 4: below her. So anyway, from January to early June this year,

527
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,440
Speaker 4: my brother was distancing himself from Mom and I, which

528
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:20,000
Speaker 4: really hurt Mom since she felt abandoned and like he

529
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:22,920
Speaker 4: chose Stacy over his own family. In June, my brother

530
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 4: stopped contacting me.

531
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:27,399
Speaker 3: Well, I mean yeah, I mean obviously that sucks, but

532
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 3: it does seem like this girlfriend has a lot of sway. Yeah,

533
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:32,320
Speaker 3: and if she doesn't.

534
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:36,320
Speaker 4: Like you, yeah, yeah, brother don't like you, which sucksly.

535
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:39,560
Speaker 4: He also cut contact with my mom, which even more

536
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:42,960
Speaker 4: scummy because Mom went to a different country in May

537
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:46,000
Speaker 4: trying to find better work opportunities. All in all, my

538
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 4: mom messaged him a lot to try to contact him

539
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,480
Speaker 4: to see how he was, but he acted like an

540
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:54,320
Speaker 4: idiot and ignored her, which.

541
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:55,480
Speaker 3: Broke her heart a bit.

542
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 4: Man hez So in mid August, my mother came on

543
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,439
Speaker 4: a sort of vacation back home while she waited for

544
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:04,560
Speaker 4: her work visa papers we processed, and during that time

545
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,640
Speaker 4: she found out she had an eye cancer.

546
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 3: And his eye cancer in these stories, yeah was that thing.

547
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:12,399
Speaker 4: It was this story. It was like a prelude to

548
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:12,840
Speaker 4: this story.

549
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:15,760
Speaker 3: Okay, it was like, there's multiple stories that I can't know,

550
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:16,679
Speaker 3: it's still this story.

551
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,760
Speaker 4: Since it was inside her eye, they decided it was

552
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:22,440
Speaker 4: for the best to remove her eye completely and then

553
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,880
Speaker 4: extract part of it and test if it's aligne instead

554
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:28,639
Speaker 4: of first poking it to extract some and making it

555
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:31,320
Speaker 4: worse if it is. My mom was obviously shocked, but

556
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,800
Speaker 4: decided to be strong. You wanted to tell my brother too,

557
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,240
Speaker 4: and if possible, make up with him somehow, just in

558
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:39,640
Speaker 4: case things go bad. Both my maternal grandparents died from

559
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,400
Speaker 4: some sort of cancer, so this obviously made her afraid

560
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:45,119
Speaker 4: of the worst outcome. My brother, the a hole that

561
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 4: he is, however, was super cold at these life altering

562
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 4: news once he heard them.

563
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 3: So now the brother cut contact a little bit. But

564
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:56,280
Speaker 3: then we find out about this cancer diagnosis.

565
00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:59,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, and so it seems like he is going to

566
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:01,880
Speaker 4: respond maybe in a way that is just super removed

567
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:02,760
Speaker 4: and not compassionate.

568
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:05,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, which is so heartbreaking to have, you know, someone

569
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:08,560
Speaker 3: who's like your mother, you know.

570
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:10,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's one thing to not talk to your Yeah,

571
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 4: it's one thing to hear about the serious you know cancer. Yeah,

572
00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:16,359
Speaker 4: your mom has and it's another thing to just like

573
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:20,960
Speaker 4: still not respond all just because of bad situation.

574
00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 3: Well, it's because of the girlfriend she's pulling. She's isolating

575
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 3: him from the family because she was jealous.

576
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,080
Speaker 4: So first of all, we had to visit my paternal

577
00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:30,800
Speaker 4: grandpa and contact my brother threw him to arrange the

578
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:33,840
Speaker 4: whole meeting. Then he was super cold at the news,

579
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:37,480
Speaker 4: despite my mom basically crying in his arms when she

580
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,840
Speaker 4: was telling him the news. And lastly, even after these news,

581
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:44,440
Speaker 4: he still never contacted my mom to see how she.

582
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:52,359
Speaker 3: Was horrible son terrible. I'm like so confused. I just

583
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:55,280
Speaker 3: don't understood because it doesn't seem like there was this

584
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 3: kind of you know, like it doesn't seem like he

585
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 3: had a lot of problem with his mom besides what

586
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:02,520
Speaker 3: his girlfriend had.

587
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:06,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe there's like underlying things and resentments. There was

588
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 4: the whole thing with.

589
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:10,879
Speaker 3: It built his father and abuse with that totally.

590
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 4: Maybe there's resentment around that. We don't know, but it

591
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:16,760
Speaker 4: seems like, yeah, he's being swayed so much by his girlfriend,

592
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,920
Speaker 4: and it has me believe that maybe he already had

593
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:21,159
Speaker 4: like a lot of things built up and she's like

594
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:23,320
Speaker 4: the old to the fire.

595
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 3: I don't know.

596
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:27,600
Speaker 4: My mom decided to somehow give him another chance in

597
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:30,040
Speaker 4: a way, and visited him once more at the end

598
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 4: of September, right before the surgery. During that meeting, he

599
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,440
Speaker 4: didn't pay attention to the fact that his own mother

600
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,680
Speaker 4: is going to have surgery, well they'll remove her eye,

601
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 4: but decided it was the best time to ask if

602
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:43,399
Speaker 4: Mom could go with him to change his SIM card

603
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,879
Speaker 4: from Mom's to his name so we could get a

604
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 4: new phone, probably for Stacy, since he mentioned she broke

605
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:50,480
Speaker 4: hers recently.

606
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:55,080
Speaker 3: Everything's for Stacy. At the end of the day, Wild,

607
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:58,440
Speaker 3: I can't imagine going to your mother who is going

608
00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:02,960
Speaker 3: through this cancer diagnosis, you know, treatment, and after like

609
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 3: you know, a while of not talking to her and

610
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 3: being like, hey, can we change the ZIP card? Yeah?

611
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:10,200
Speaker 3: You just can you come and change the SIP card

612
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:10,439
Speaker 3: with me?

613
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:13,480
Speaker 4: And they're like, are you hearing us mom has cancer?

614
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:15,879
Speaker 4: Is a yay, Yeah, he's I heard, But like, I

615
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:19,080
Speaker 4: need this new phone. Okay, mind you, my mom has

616
00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:21,440
Speaker 4: only recently paid off his phone, and also that phone

617
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:24,120
Speaker 4: number belonged to my late grandpa. My brother just took

618
00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:26,520
Speaker 4: it since it was convenient to use. My mom rightfully

619
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,399
Speaker 4: said no, which just pissed him off, and he didn't

620
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:31,240
Speaker 4: even listen to anything afterwards.

621
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 3: Yep, that's right.

622
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:35,679
Speaker 4: Getting a freaking new phone for freaking Stacy is more

623
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 4: important than his mother, by the way, passed away on

624
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 4: the operating table while giving birth to him and had

625
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 4: to be revived. I thought they were going to say, yeah,

626
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:44,480
Speaker 4: like she just passed away.

627
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 3: And I was like, who was in the story?

628
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:47,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, who's the mom?

629
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:49,520
Speaker 3: Yeah? No.

630
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:52,880
Speaker 4: At that point, even my mom realized what in a

631
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:56,360
Speaker 4: hole he is and decided to just prioritize her health first.

632
00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, glad.

633
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 4: The mom's like finally coming to her senses and she

634
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 4: was like, this, this is not okay. I just need

635
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:04,560
Speaker 4: to focus on the surgery, but right now, screw off.

636
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:07,040
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think it's really hard when you're a parent

637
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 3: who's trying to, you know, fix a relationship with a child,

638
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:14,080
Speaker 3: and you're like, it's hard to just realize that sometimes

639
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 3: you have to let them go for the moment or

640
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:17,000
Speaker 3: at least the time being.

641
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:19,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, or put down a boundary yeah and saying even

642
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 4: though it's true, I'm deeply just hiring to fix our

643
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:26,080
Speaker 4: relationship and have a better, you know, connection with you,

644
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:29,440
Speaker 4: Like I'm not putting a hard line here because I

645
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,280
Speaker 4: see how inconsiderate you're being exactly, So at that point,

646
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:34,240
Speaker 4: even my mom realized what an a hole he is

647
00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:37,280
Speaker 4: and decided to just prioritize her health first. She had

648
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,760
Speaker 4: her surgery, everything went okay, thank god, and since then

649
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 4: she has been at home resting and recovering while waiting

650
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 4: to get results in her first prosthetic eye. She's getting

651
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:47,600
Speaker 4: it next Monday, and then she'll meet with her doctor,

652
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:50,680
Speaker 4: find out the results from tissue analysis, and discuss next

653
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:53,240
Speaker 4: treatment plan. The reason why I'm even more pissed off

654
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 4: and decided to vent here is the fact that a

655
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:59,520
Speaker 4: few days ago, my idiotic brother made my paternal grandpa

656
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:01,600
Speaker 4: call up us and asked if my mom.

657
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:03,960
Speaker 3: Truly had surgery and if he could talk with her.

658
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:05,880
Speaker 4: I know that my brother made my grandpa do this,

659
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,640
Speaker 4: since I could hear him and Stacey in the background

660
00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:12,440
Speaker 4: instructing my grandpa on what to say to me over

661
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:12,920
Speaker 4: the phone.

662
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 3: So he doesn't they just they thought that the mom

663
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 3: was lying.

664
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 4: Not only does he not have the balls to like

665
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,040
Speaker 4: call his family himself and say what's on his shot,

666
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 4: but he's like call them and then accuse them of

667
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 4: like fabricating.

668
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 3: The situation ridiculous.

669
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,840
Speaker 4: So the idiot somehow thought my mom was I don't know,

670
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:33,280
Speaker 4: faking it or something, and only when he heard from

671
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 4: the village gossip that my mom had her eye removed

672
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 4: did he actually believe it. I just I wonder what

673
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:41,280
Speaker 4: ground did he have to be, like making the surgery up.

674
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't buy it. I don't buy this.

675
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:48,520
Speaker 4: She Why would you jump to that, Yes, she had surgery,

676
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:50,959
Speaker 4: and no, my mom was not able to talk to

677
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:54,080
Speaker 4: that as at the time she was resting after taking

678
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 4: her meds. And if you just need to rest, you

679
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 4: could join us live every weekday at three pm. You

680
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 4: could join us through a Facebook YouTube and big talk.

681
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:08,520
Speaker 4: Just tap our profile our profile. There's another relevant update,

682
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 4: but let's discuss.

683
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,880
Speaker 3: Yes, I think at this point it is it is

684
00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:15,160
Speaker 3: kind of necessary for the mom to put a boundary

685
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:17,080
Speaker 3: down and say, hey, like, I've tried to reach out

686
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 3: to you multiple times, I've tried to fix our relationship

687
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:24,480
Speaker 3: and you don't want that, and you're disrespecting me and

688
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 3: you know, honestly hurting me in a time where I

689
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:31,360
Speaker 3: am trying to you know, I'm going through something unimaginably hard.

690
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:34,760
Speaker 3: So yeah, and you have to put down that boundary,

691
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 3: which sucks.

692
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 4: I feel like there's just so much unknown here. The

693
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 4: way he's acting just doesn't match up to any human

694
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:45,880
Speaker 4: decency at all, And so I would just, you know,

695
00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 4: if the mom has a capacity to be like, what

696
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 4: is going on here? Like what is your girlfriend saying?

697
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 4: Or you mad at something else besides you know, this

698
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:57,320
Speaker 4: small incident, like what is going on here? Why are

699
00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 4: you distancing yourself? Why are you acting like this? Is like, yeah,

700
00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:03,640
Speaker 4: there's so much which makes sense.

701
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 3: So hard to do, Like, it's hard to have those

702
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:09,360
Speaker 3: types of conversation when you're physically just feeling so unwell your.

703
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:12,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, when you're going through this life altering surgery, when

704
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 4: you're diagnosed with a scary cancer.

705
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then when you're obviously hurt and epistol musing

706
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:19,720
Speaker 3: and like just lost a nine. Yeah. So I have

707
00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:22,000
Speaker 3: no words for this poor excuse of a human being.

708
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 4: I cannot comprehend how he is my brother, And honestly,

709
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:28,640
Speaker 4: although most of my family, including my mom, say that

710
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 4: he only changed after getting together with Stacy, I don't

711
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 4: think I could ever talk to him. I don't think

712
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,680
Speaker 4: I'll ever forgive him for this level of disrespect towards

713
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:38,040
Speaker 4: the woman that gave him his life and did hit

714
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:41,080
Speaker 4: her best to raise him despite our crappy circumstance. I

715
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:42,960
Speaker 4: truly have no words for this. I just needed a

716
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:44,920
Speaker 4: place to rant. I've been trying to hold in my

717
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:46,680
Speaker 4: feelings since I have to be there for my mom

718
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 4: right now. I just don't want to see her sad. Anyway,

719
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:51,720
Speaker 4: this is the shortest version of my current situation. I'm

720
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:54,480
Speaker 4: grateful my mom surgery went well and hope that she

721
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:57,280
Speaker 4: gets better soon. I saw the two pieces of crap

722
00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:00,440
Speaker 4: that are my brother and Stacy. I just want to

723
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 4: not have to talk to them anymore. I have had

724
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:04,880
Speaker 4: enough of their craziness.

725
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly, I totally understand what you're saying. I think

726
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:09,520
Speaker 3: your brother is a bit of a simp.

727
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 4: The conclusion to the story at the end of the day,

728
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 4: I think is a simp.

729
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:17,920
Speaker 3: Sounds like your brother's a sim and it sounds like

730
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 3: Stacy's got main characters into him.

731
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 2: Don't be a simp. That's the moral story.

732
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:24,960
Speaker 3: Love your mom, don't be simple.

733
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:26,400
Speaker 2: For your mom.

734
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:28,360
Speaker 3: Kind of you but yeah, not your but not liked

735
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:31,800
Speaker 3: of this way. Hold back some simpness.

736
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:34,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, Hey, it's Sam' your og host. Here. We're gonna

737
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 1: get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of

738
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:36,760
Speaker 1: ads from our sponsors.

739
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:41,200
Speaker 3: My cousin's husband sent me explicit pictures. I don't know

740
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:43,239
Speaker 3: if I should tell my family they hot or not.

741
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:44,440
Speaker 4: That's the main fact.

742
00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 2: If they're hot, no, If they're hot.

743
00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 3: If not cool.

744
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:49,240
Speaker 4: If they're not hot then yeah.

745
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 3: This is my first ever post and it's a long story,

746
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 3: so please bear with me. I twenty six male, have

747
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 3: a story about my cousin thirty one female and her

748
00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 3: husband thirty five male that I'm advice on, and that's

749
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:03,440
Speaker 3: what we're here for. For a little bit of backstory.

750
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:05,880
Speaker 3: I was never that close with my family growing up.

751
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,000
Speaker 3: They were all the athlete type and I was the

752
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:13,360
Speaker 3: art student. It would be so quirky and souk unique artistic.

753
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:15,960
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Fine Can ninety two

754
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 3: to sixty two on the Okay storytime separate it. So

755
00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:20,640
Speaker 3: as a child, I would opt to sit in the

756
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:23,760
Speaker 3: corner and draw rather than play football in the yard

757
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:25,400
Speaker 3: with all the cousins at family events.

758
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,600
Speaker 4: Wait, is this male or female?

759
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:28,000
Speaker 1: Male?

760
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:28,600
Speaker 3: Okay?

761
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 4: Not like other boys.

762
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:32,960
Speaker 3: So with that, I never really felt that close to

763
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:35,439
Speaker 3: majority of my family, because growing up I just felt

764
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 3: like we were so different. I was the typical teenager

765
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:41,320
Speaker 3: who hated being at family functions and wasn't that social,

766
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 3: and dealing with mental health issues that I never talked about,

767
00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:46,719
Speaker 3: which usually put a strain on my relationships with my

768
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:50,200
Speaker 3: parents and family. Anyways, onto the story. My cousin, let's

769
00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:53,920
Speaker 3: call her see I can only think gry okay, okay,

770
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 3: Carrie has been with her now husband. We will call

771
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:59,440
Speaker 3: him Derek for I believe thirteen years at this point,

772
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:03,680
Speaker 3: and I'll se vicious number. They got married in October

773
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:05,879
Speaker 3: of twenty twenty one. Prior to their wedding, I met

774
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:09,040
Speaker 3: Derek on a handful of occasions, but given that I

775
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:10,680
Speaker 3: grew up in another state from the rest of the

776
00:35:10,719 --> 00:35:13,840
Speaker 3: extended family, we didn't see them that often, maybe a

777
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 3: few times a year. Derek always seemed nice, but was

778
00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:20,400
Speaker 3: very quiet, kind of like a background character in comparison

779
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:23,520
Speaker 3: to my loud New York family, so I never really

780
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:25,799
Speaker 3: got to know him. For the engagement, Derek hosted a

781
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:29,440
Speaker 3: surprise birthday back in like twenty seventeen. Fast forward a

782
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:31,799
Speaker 3: few years to COVID lockdown. At this point, I moved

783
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,320
Speaker 3: out of my parents to Florida. So seeing my family

784
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:37,800
Speaker 3: decreased even more in regularity during the lockdown, I decided

785
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 3: to drive back home to Pennsylvania for the two weeks

786
00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:43,120
Speaker 3: oh quote unquote, lo and bold. It turned into nearly

787
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:46,880
Speaker 3: three months. Three months. It was like a year from me.

788
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,520
Speaker 3: During this time, my family would have zoom nights to

789
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 3: drink over video chat and talk. They were quite fun, honestly.

790
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:55,839
Speaker 3: During one of these zoom chats, I decided to form

791
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:58,440
Speaker 3: a group chat for the cousins on Snapchat. I added

792
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:01,840
Speaker 3: everyone to the chat, and then Carrie added Derek herself.

793
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:05,160
Speaker 3: He's not a freaking cousin. Why are we adding Derek

794
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:06,759
Speaker 3: onto the cousins? If you're not a cousin, why you're

795
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:09,799
Speaker 3: in the cousin chat. That's honestly, I'd be kind of peeved.

796
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:13,920
Speaker 3: I'd be a little bit peeved. I'm deary, come family,

797
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:18,239
Speaker 3: I have a cousin chat. If someone like, if one

798
00:36:18,239 --> 00:36:20,560
Speaker 3: of them added their partners to the cousin chat.

799
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:24,280
Speaker 4: You don't consider them cousin, then they don't like become cousins.

800
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:26,160
Speaker 3: Married.

801
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:31,400
Speaker 4: I don't know, you're right, Yeah.

802
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:32,840
Speaker 3: I added everyone to the chat and then Carrie added

803
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 3: Derek herself. I don't mind this at all. The cousins

804
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:38,920
Speaker 3: love Derek, so it only makes sense for him to

805
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:39,719
Speaker 3: be in the chat with us.

806
00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 1: Fine, I'm Derry, come on.

807
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:43,560
Speaker 5: There.

808
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 3: Derek then adds me as a friend on Snapchat since

809
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:50,800
Speaker 3: we didn't previously have each other's contact. But again, he's quiet,

810
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 3: so he doesn't really say much in the chat either.

811
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:59,320
Speaker 3: Spicy pigs speak louder than words. Here's where the timeline

812
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 3: gets a little fuzzy in specific times. However, a few

813
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 3: months later, Derek privately messages me on.

814
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:07,680
Speaker 4: Snapchat decent of his d.

815
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:12,200
Speaker 3: I'm a very forgetful person, so we always changed my

816
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:15,080
Speaker 3: chat settings to save the text in the chat. Derek

817
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:18,000
Speaker 3: doesn't like that and has me change it back, which

818
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:20,560
Speaker 3: I thought was weird, sort of a red flag, but whatever.

819
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:24,759
Speaker 3: It was, so on Snapchat you can yeah, yeah, And

820
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:27,640
Speaker 3: so Derek is like, change it back. I don't want

821
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:29,319
Speaker 3: you to be able to save them, go back to

822
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:30,000
Speaker 3: like the Yeah.

823
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 4: If Derek said that to me, I'm like, you're not

824
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:32,400
Speaker 4: even in the family.

825
00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 3: I'd be like, oh sorry, no, It's like I'm not

826
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:37,239
Speaker 3: going to share it with anyone. It's just I don't remember.

827
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:42,000
Speaker 5: I'd still be a very I'd be so weird snapchat brother,

828
00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:44,839
Speaker 5: And with one thing that add you, and then there's

829
00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:46,640
Speaker 5: another like make a request on like your.

830
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:49,600
Speaker 3: Yesting that I would be I would. That's a huge

831
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:54,279
Speaker 3: red flag. However, I soon understood why he starts to

832
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:57,719
Speaker 3: open up to me, the gay cousin, about how he's bisexual.

833
00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:00,440
Speaker 3: He does so in a more I guess the way

834
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:02,640
Speaker 3: with the comments, which at first I just took as

835
00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:04,800
Speaker 3: an it's awkward for me to talk about this, so

836
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:06,680
Speaker 3: I'm going to make frude comments as a way for

837
00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:10,400
Speaker 3: it to be funny kind of way. Oh pee, the signs,

838
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:14,200
Speaker 3: the signs are staring at you. What are the comments?

839
00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:16,279
Speaker 3: I'm like on the edge of my seat, Like he

840
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:19,600
Speaker 3: starts asking me questions about the biggest wieners I've seen

841
00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:22,400
Speaker 3: and recommendations on porn to watch.

842
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:24,000
Speaker 2: You think OP was just like kind of into it.

843
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:24,440
Speaker 3: I don't think.

844
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:25,840
Speaker 4: I don't know, I've got a questions.

845
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:28,719
Speaker 3: Are the conversations like these would be random and on

846
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 3: and off every few weeks slash months.

847
00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:32,279
Speaker 4: These are like the type of questions you get when

848
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:35,000
Speaker 4: you're like hammered yeah, and you're like been out all

849
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 4: night you've been bonding with someone and then someone lets

850
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:37,920
Speaker 4: it flip and you're.

851
00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:38,319
Speaker 3: Like, we're drunk.

852
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:39,320
Speaker 2: Come on, it's.

853
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:44,120
Speaker 3: Eventually he would make comments about his upcoming wedding and

854
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:46,799
Speaker 3: how he would get me my own room to f

855
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 3: all his hot cop friends in after. At first I

856
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:51,480
Speaker 3: thought it was just supposed to be a joke until

857
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:53,160
Speaker 3: he said, but only if I can watch.

858
00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:55,080
Speaker 4: So the rest of this stuff was like, that's weird,

859
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:55,960
Speaker 4: but people are weird.

860
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:56,400
Speaker 3: I don't know.

861
00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:58,200
Speaker 4: And then that point is like the line comes down

862
00:38:58,239 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 4: and you're like, this is inappropriate.

863
00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:02,439
Speaker 3: I have in the past asked Derek why he won't

864
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:05,520
Speaker 3: be honest with Carrie about his sexuality, but this comment

865
00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:07,719
Speaker 3: made me go in harder on the recommendation to talk

866
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:08,880
Speaker 3: to Carry about this stuff.

867
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 5: Do you think, yes, Derek is going to blame the

868
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:17,319
Speaker 5: cousin for ruining this carry my I don't know if

869
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:20,319
Speaker 5: Carry will, but I like that, like Derek's like, oh,

870
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:22,879
Speaker 5: now I'm feeling some sort of way now that I'm

871
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:24,920
Speaker 5: like bisexual, and I blame it on your cousin.

872
00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:26,880
Speaker 3: Yes, I think that happens in a lot of the

873
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:31,080
Speaker 3: stories that we read, where you know it's someone is

874
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:34,320
Speaker 3: trying like figuring out themselves out and maybe there's cheating

875
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:35,719
Speaker 3: going on, and then they put it all on the

876
00:39:35,719 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 3: blame on the person that they were pursuing.

877
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:41,320
Speaker 2: MM, like this is my like you were my gateway.

878
00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:44,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, I hope not. But also it doesn't seem he

879
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:45,600
Speaker 3: has anymore.

880
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:47,560
Speaker 2: Well, we'll see. I don't know.

881
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 3: Derek's reasoning as to why he can't tell her is

882
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:53,759
Speaker 3: that she would be pissed and blah blah blah. Dude,

883
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:57,080
Speaker 3: okay if you think that she would, Okay, if you

884
00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:00,160
Speaker 3: are a queer person, why would you want to be

885
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:02,319
Speaker 3: in a relationship with someone who you don't think would

886
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:05,840
Speaker 3: accept you? Oh? They for the people in the back.

887
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:08,240
Speaker 3: I would always tell him I don't think she would,

888
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:10,120
Speaker 3: and that he should be honest with her. He would

889
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 3: continue to tell me no, and how she'll think he's

890
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:14,600
Speaker 3: cheating on her. So the thing is that she wouldn't

891
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:16,719
Speaker 3: think that I can tell you. But the thing is

892
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:19,560
Speaker 3: that you are kind of cheating on her. You could

893
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:23,239
Speaker 3: only think that. He would then go on to make

894
00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:26,080
Speaker 3: jokes about her spicy sleep life, saying things like, well,

895
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:28,719
Speaker 3: she cheated on me twice and how she got ft

896
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:31,279
Speaker 3: on the kitchen table by like three different guys during

897
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:35,440
Speaker 3: their brief breakup in college. Meanwhile, I'm just sitting here

898
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:37,920
Speaker 3: wondering why he's telling me this about my cousin's spicy

899
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:38,720
Speaker 3: sleep life.

900
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:40,680
Speaker 4: It's one thing to be like, yeah, I'm gonna be real,

901
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:42,480
Speaker 4: like she's cheated on me. But it's another like give

902
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:43,400
Speaker 4: the intimate details.

903
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:46,000
Speaker 3: It's like, here's a play by play. I don't need

904
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:50,160
Speaker 3: to know that cousin. Again. If I were Opee, I

905
00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:54,800
Speaker 3: would have blocked this man months earlier, months earlier.

906
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:57,319
Speaker 4: I'm just confused why Derek has no one else he

907
00:40:57,360 --> 00:41:02,080
Speaker 4: could talk to besides man, or besides his partner's cousin.

908
00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:04,120
Speaker 3: I don't know. I know I shouldn't have continued to

909
00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:06,120
Speaker 3: engage in conversations with him, but I guess I just

910
00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:08,279
Speaker 3: felt like I had to. Dude, you don't have to

911
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 3: you don't have to have to do that. Like maybe

912
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:13,080
Speaker 3: I'm the only one he feels safe to talk about

913
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:15,399
Speaker 3: these things. Since I know what it's like to be gay,

914
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:17,320
Speaker 3: I know what it's like to feel like you can't

915
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:19,360
Speaker 3: talk to someone. I mean, he comes from a pretty

916
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:22,440
Speaker 3: right wing Republican family, married a girl from another right

917
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:26,160
Speaker 3: wing Republican family. He's part of the NYPD stereotyping, I know,

918
00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:28,600
Speaker 3: but generally a macho man job and as far as

919
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:31,279
Speaker 3: I know, has no other gay friends, so maybe I'm

920
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:33,680
Speaker 3: the only person he can talk to about everything. And

921
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:36,759
Speaker 3: even if that's true, he is making you uncomfortable and

922
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:40,160
Speaker 3: he is saying really weird crap and you don't owe

923
00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:41,000
Speaker 3: him anything.

924
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:44,440
Speaker 4: We op he is sympathizing, yeah, and has you know,

925
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:49,160
Speaker 4: suffered internalized feelings of shame and they've gone down that

926
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:51,839
Speaker 4: road and continued to And it's like, it's sweet that

927
00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:54,520
Speaker 4: you're like being open to receiving him, but at the

928
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,720
Speaker 4: same time, like it's still put down a boundary.

929
00:41:57,880 --> 00:41:59,279
Speaker 3: Absolutely, wow, I.

930
00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:02,520
Speaker 4: Sympathize with you. This is inappropriate. I don't want these messes.

931
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:05,360
Speaker 3: And also you could totally still help him, you know.

932
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:08,160
Speaker 3: Or I think if you had put down boundaries earlier

933
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:10,040
Speaker 3: and said like, hey, you can't send this these types

934
00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:14,960
Speaker 3: of messages, but I'm open to talk exactly, totally different

935
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:17,759
Speaker 3: would have happened, you know, would have had a way

936
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:22,840
Speaker 3: different outcome. Eventually, his comments became more blunt and spicy

937
00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:26,160
Speaker 3: sleep nature. He would ask me if he could show

938
00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:28,799
Speaker 3: me his D so I can tell him if he's

939
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:32,200
Speaker 3: big or not, and that it's probably bigger than most.

940
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:36,280
Speaker 4: If he's a grown man, it's weird.

941
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:40,239
Speaker 3: Dude, you're like a middle thing. Like you know, it

942
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:42,960
Speaker 3: gets worse. I would always simply reply with you do

943
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:46,520
Speaker 3: what you want. Op You're not the a whole Oh p,

944
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:48,000
Speaker 3: you're now also the a hole.

945
00:42:48,040 --> 00:42:53,239
Speaker 1: You're allowing, you're enabling, though you're not putting up boundaries.

946
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:56,279
Speaker 3: You no longer get to say, oh, well, you know,

947
00:42:56,920 --> 00:42:59,480
Speaker 3: I'm almost trying. He was uncomfortable. I was trying to

948
00:42:59,520 --> 00:42:59,960
Speaker 3: help him.

949
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:03,560
Speaker 2: I kind of feel like Opie, like he's like no,

950
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:04,479
Speaker 2: but like.

951
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:07,600
Speaker 3: You can do whatever you want, but I'm not gonna

952
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:08,160
Speaker 3: like it.

953
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:12,200
Speaker 2: I think I think Opie's like, this is wrong, but

954
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:13,040
Speaker 2: this is kind.

955
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:16,720
Speaker 3: Of like his partner. I'd be like from the again,

956
00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:19,320
Speaker 3: from the get go, I'd be like, this is totally inappropriate,

957
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:21,360
Speaker 3: and then I go to my cousin. I have no

958
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:23,240
Speaker 3: loyalties to Derek.

959
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:24,239
Speaker 2: No, that's what I'm saying.

960
00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:27,399
Speaker 5: That's why Opie would have blocked Derek or a move

961
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:30,960
Speaker 5: Derek immediately. Yeah, right off the bat, That's what I'm saying, Opie.

962
00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:32,680
Speaker 5: I think Opie's kind of into it.

963
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:33,320
Speaker 3: Maybe.

964
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:35,880
Speaker 4: I mean, there was so many moments put down a

965
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:38,440
Speaker 4: line and then for this almost feels like an invitation,

966
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:39,600
Speaker 4: like you could do it if you.

967
00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:41,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can do whatever you you do what you want,

968
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:45,640
Speaker 3: bordering on invitation honestly, could be maybe this is not

969
00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:49,480
Speaker 3: what OPI intended, but could be, you know, Bertie, because

970
00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:51,600
Speaker 3: you've seen this party, especially by this guy. I've been

971
00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:55,120
Speaker 3: for months broaching this topic to see what he's you know,

972
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:56,080
Speaker 3: how far can I go?

973
00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:58,960
Speaker 2: How far can I go? How far can I go? Exactly?

974
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:02,840
Speaker 5: And it's just like, Op, you know it's wrong, and

975
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:06,480
Speaker 5: you're like, oh, that's gross, but keep telling me about it,

976
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:07,520
Speaker 5: or like let me you.

977
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:09,960
Speaker 3: Know, as I realized it's no longer my fault what

978
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:12,640
Speaker 3: he does and I can't control him from doing slash

979
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:15,120
Speaker 3: saying anything, dude, Okay, that's not true.

980
00:44:15,239 --> 00:44:17,040
Speaker 4: You could tell someone you don't want to receive.

981
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:20,879
Speaker 3: You literally are saying no, I'm not comfortable with this.

982
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:26,560
Speaker 3: Block him on Snapchat, tell Carrie. There are so many options.

983
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:27,320
Speaker 2: There's so many others.

984
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:29,400
Speaker 5: There's like one door where it's like oh, or like

985
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:32,279
Speaker 5: it's not even in person, it's literally through snapchat or

986
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:33,080
Speaker 5: like social media.

987
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:34,600
Speaker 3: You can block them, you.

988
00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:36,759
Speaker 2: Don't you you can't even have to open it.

989
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not like he's sending you like polaroids. And

990
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:42,560
Speaker 3: you're like, oh my god, I didn't know what this was,

991
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:43,879
Speaker 3: but I know what you did summer.

992
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:46,440
Speaker 5: It's like, no, yeah, you have so many options to

993
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:48,239
Speaker 5: stop this, and you you haven't stopped it.

994
00:44:48,239 --> 00:44:49,120
Speaker 3: The one option.

995
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:51,400
Speaker 2: Stopt me.

996
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:51,880
Speaker 3: Just open it.

997
00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:52,719
Speaker 2: You're like, okay, he.

998
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:56,279
Speaker 3: Is digging his own grave, after all, you're giving him

999
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:59,080
Speaker 3: a shovel. Bart of me also thought about how the

1000
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:01,480
Speaker 3: more I let him say slash dude, the more information

1001
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 3: I could report some of my cousin.

1002
00:45:03,239 --> 00:45:04,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you're an accomplish at this point.

1003
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:09,440
Speaker 3: This is this is very much giving, like yeah, And

1004
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:12,480
Speaker 3: I was like, well, you should send more because I

1005
00:45:12,520 --> 00:45:15,200
Speaker 3: wanted to get more information.

1006
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:18,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, I want a different angles.

1007
00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:24,640
Speaker 3: You should kiss me so I could get cousin on you.

1008
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:26,280
Speaker 4: I'm gathering evidence.

1009
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:29,640
Speaker 3: I never followed through with saying anything, as I realized

1010
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:32,400
Speaker 3: I have no proof since all communication is done via

1011
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 3: Snapchat for good Ophie's OPHI was like, oh, well, I'm

1012
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:45,120
Speaker 3: trying to collect more information, but I delete on snapchat.

1013
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:49,040
Speaker 3: He literally let them to lead. Oh my god. The

1014
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:52,120
Speaker 3: next line. The next line. He eventually sent me a

1015
00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 3: picture of his d and all I could say was

1016
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:59,400
Speaker 3: that I've seen bigger dude. Fine. He would tell me

1017
00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:02,320
Speaker 3: about how he would have fantasies about having spicy sleep

1018
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 3: with Harry, and her sister even mentioned how he fantasized

1019
00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:05,800
Speaker 3: about their mom.

1020
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:07,719
Speaker 5: Now now he's just going this guy is just a

1021
00:46:07,719 --> 00:46:11,960
Speaker 5: freaking This guy is no longer by This guy's just freaky.

1022
00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:14,359
Speaker 3: Soon I thought it was over as their wedding day

1023
00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:17,080
Speaker 3: grew near, and he hasn't messaged me these inappropriate things

1024
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:19,319
Speaker 3: in a while. Fast forward to their wedding. The day

1025
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:21,520
Speaker 3: was a crap show and the wedding was the biggest

1026
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:23,840
Speaker 3: political statement of a wedding I have ever seen. What

1027
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 3: does that mean? But it's so wow. I mean, they

1028
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:31,920
Speaker 3: have the United States national anthem playing on the violin

1029
00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:35,280
Speaker 3: in the church. Right after Carrie walked down the aisle.

1030
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:38,400
Speaker 3: He's like, I'm a man, who did you?

1031
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:41,560
Speaker 2: Malyok creed.

1032
00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 3: At the reception in lieu of favors, a donation was

1033
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:48,560
Speaker 3: made in our names to some First Responders foundation and

1034
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:51,240
Speaker 3: came with a little American flag lapel pin for everyone,

1035
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:53,440
Speaker 3: which when all the older crowd put them on the

1036
00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:57,080
Speaker 3: wedding looked more like an RNC event rather than a wedding.

1037
00:46:57,120 --> 00:46:57,960
Speaker 4: It's so funny.

1038
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:01,360
Speaker 3: This is really funny. Even her There's Something Blue was

1039
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:04,760
Speaker 3: a Blue Lives Matter patch with their last news sewn

1040
00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:08,200
Speaker 3: in the under part of her dress. Okay, dinner had

1041
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:10,840
Speaker 3: to start late because Derek was so wasted and couldn't

1042
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:12,160
Speaker 3: come out in multiple ways.

1043
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:13,760
Speaker 1: But yeah, they.

1044
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:15,920
Speaker 3: Were trying to sober him up. While we started dinner.

1045
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,480
Speaker 3: Carrie sat at the Bridle table alone. At first, she

1046
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:21,319
Speaker 3: was so pissed. They had a Frank Sinatra performed during

1047
00:47:21,360 --> 00:47:23,839
Speaker 3: dinner who invited all first responders up to the dance

1048
00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:25,120
Speaker 3: floor for a special song.

1049
00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:30,000
Speaker 5: You just imagine like we got a higher Frank Sinatra imitator.

1050
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 3: Derek could barely stand up, and he threw up during

1051
00:47:33,080 --> 00:47:35,920
Speaker 3: the performance, nearly all over carry and this is a

1052
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:38,560
Speaker 3: crap show. A few months go by, and and I'm

1053
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:41,480
Speaker 3: at work when Derek messaged me asking if it's cheating

1054
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:49,719
Speaker 3: to work off with his friends. I was completely taken

1055
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:52,520
Speaker 3: aback by this random message and just continually responded to

1056
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:54,880
Speaker 3: his questions with that it depends on what he and

1057
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:57,400
Speaker 3: Carrie have set to be considered cheating in the relationship.

1058
00:47:57,520 --> 00:48:00,319
Speaker 3: That's true. Why are you still responding he said he

1059
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:02,000
Speaker 3: didn't think it's a big deal, and I told him

1060
00:48:02,040 --> 00:48:04,120
Speaker 3: it might not be to him, but could be to her,

1061
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,560
Speaker 3: and that's why they need to have open conversations about

1062
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:09,520
Speaker 3: their boundaries and set expectations for the relationship.

1063
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:12,920
Speaker 4: Opie is so like a patience.

1064
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:19,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, I hate why. Why literally, Opie, you're an accomplice.

1065
00:48:19,239 --> 00:48:21,799
Speaker 3: Depends on the agreements of your relationship and maybe that's

1066
00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:24,240
Speaker 3: something that you should communicate maturely with your petner.

1067
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:26,560
Speaker 4: And also like, yeah, you could send me your pick.

1068
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:29,879
Speaker 3: I love that this went from Ope being like, yeah,

1069
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:31,719
Speaker 3: I didn't really ever talk to Derek. He was kind

1070
00:48:31,719 --> 00:48:35,319
Speaker 3: of quiet to this. Yeah, obviously I wasn't going through

1071
00:48:35,320 --> 00:48:37,480
Speaker 3: to him, no matter how many times I told him

1072
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:39,400
Speaker 3: he should go talk to his wife about this. A

1073
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:41,880
Speaker 3: few more months go by and I'm on Snapchat playing

1074
00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:44,759
Speaker 3: with random filters out of boredom during a hurricane, when

1075
00:48:44,800 --> 00:48:46,920
Speaker 3: I suddenly come across one that makes me do a

1076
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:48,919
Speaker 3: double take. It was one of those filters that puts

1077
00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:50,920
Speaker 3: a photo on your cheeks, and I couldn't tell at

1078
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:53,800
Speaker 3: first what it was, but at first glance it looked

1079
00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:56,360
Speaker 3: like gay corn, until I realized it was just a

1080
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:58,319
Speaker 3: gift of some guy. I thought it was funny and

1081
00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:00,520
Speaker 3: set a photo with the filter, saying, first I thought

1082
00:49:00,560 --> 00:49:03,600
Speaker 3: this was gag korn into the cousin group chat. Derek

1083
00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:08,040
Speaker 3: almost immediately messaged me privately and said, might only be

1084
00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:09,360
Speaker 3: us who like the field.

1085
00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:14,000
Speaker 4: So it's kind of it's like, yeah, I solidarity were stop.

1086
00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:19,359
Speaker 3: You too? There? Got me guys? What can I say?

1087
00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:22,239
Speaker 3: I sort of just was over him messaging me, so

1088
00:49:22,280 --> 00:49:24,560
Speaker 3: I decided to make an excuse, saying the storm is

1089
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:26,680
Speaker 3: messing with my WiFi, so I need to change the

1090
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:29,200
Speaker 3: chat settings to not delete in case. He agreed, but

1091
00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:32,120
Speaker 3: immediately comments or so you can tell everyone. I then

1092
00:49:32,200 --> 00:49:35,120
Speaker 3: continue the conversation with him while using my roommate's phone

1093
00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:37,759
Speaker 3: to fill my screen. This way he doesn't get a

1094
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:41,640
Speaker 3: notification of screenshots slash screen recording. This conversation, sadly was

1095
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:43,799
Speaker 3: a more tame one, but was very similar to the

1096
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:46,279
Speaker 3: other recent one from when I was at work. I

1097
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:48,439
Speaker 3: tell him he should be honest with her. He says

1098
00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:51,320
Speaker 3: he can't. I explain how most relationships end in cheating

1099
00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:53,440
Speaker 3: due to one person not being honest about what they

1100
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:56,640
Speaker 3: want slash their desires. He makes snide comments about how

1101
00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:59,359
Speaker 3: she cheated on him back behind his back twice and

1102
00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:01,920
Speaker 3: so on. If you're not over it, then why are

1103
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:05,040
Speaker 3: you still with her again? I got nowhere with him,

1104
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:07,480
Speaker 3: and eventually he went to bed, making sure you changed

1105
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:10,279
Speaker 3: the chat delete back to normal before doing so. All

1106
00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:12,680
Speaker 3: very suspicious to me, But in the end, it's not

1107
00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:15,160
Speaker 3: my circus, not my monkeys, and I don't feel like

1108
00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:17,440
Speaker 3: I have any sufficient evidence to bring forward to my

1109
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:18,200
Speaker 3: cousin anyway.

1110
00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:23,560
Speaker 4: He goes it's it's a little suspicious. It's like, literally, dude.

1111
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:27,080
Speaker 3: It's literally your circus and your monkeys. You're related to

1112
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:30,120
Speaker 3: the circus and monkeys. I bring all this information up

1113
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:32,040
Speaker 3: to my older brother one day, saying that I have

1114
00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:35,680
Speaker 3: information that may destroy Carrie's marriage, expecting to gain some

1115
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:36,600
Speaker 3: advice on what to do.

1116
00:50:36,719 --> 00:50:38,480
Speaker 4: Oh, so you could have done this before before she

1117
00:50:38,560 --> 00:50:42,800
Speaker 4: was married married to someone who was being wildly inappropriate.

1118
00:50:42,880 --> 00:50:45,960
Speaker 3: I really don't like ob However, my brother just has

1119
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:47,799
Speaker 3: a why would you do that, it's not a big

1120
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:50,480
Speaker 3: deal attitude and tells me how Derek has sent him

1121
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:52,520
Speaker 3: nudes of other women in the past and such, so

1122
00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:54,799
Speaker 3: your whole family kind of sucks. Okay, Oh, I thought

1123
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:57,520
Speaker 3: it was going to be like now, of other women

1124
00:50:57,560 --> 00:50:58,080
Speaker 3: in the past.

1125
00:50:58,160 --> 00:51:02,120
Speaker 4: Okay, but what like women they know or like internet Internet.

1126
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:04,719
Speaker 3: I sort of just forgot about this whole thing after

1127
00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:07,960
Speaker 3: a while, and I haven't got any message like that since,

1128
00:51:08,120 --> 00:51:10,760
Speaker 3: as I believe I made him nervous after the last infraction.

1129
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:13,319
Speaker 3: But recent events brought this all flooding back to me,

1130
00:51:13,520 --> 00:51:16,799
Speaker 3: as Carrie just announced to our cousin group chat that

1131
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:20,480
Speaker 3: they're pregnant. Immediately, I got hit with a sense of guilt.

1132
00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:23,200
Speaker 3: Good yeah, and think I should have said something to

1133
00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:26,040
Speaker 3: her earlier, But now I feel that it's too late

1134
00:51:26,080 --> 00:51:28,840
Speaker 3: to do so. Absolutely should have done it way earlier.

1135
00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:30,920
Speaker 3: But it's never too late to tell her.

1136
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:33,640
Speaker 4: You should tell her, But it's too late.

1137
00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:34,640
Speaker 3: It's too late for you.

1138
00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:35,839
Speaker 4: The damage you've done.

1139
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:38,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, you've already done a blot of damage, but it's

1140
00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:40,520
Speaker 3: not too late for her to get out of it.

1141
00:51:40,920 --> 00:51:43,560
Speaker 3: The baby is now born, I believe three or four

1142
00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:46,320
Speaker 3: months old. I feel so guilty for not saying anything

1143
00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:48,680
Speaker 3: before and now don't know what to do. Not only

1144
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:51,359
Speaker 3: made this to destroy my cousin's marriage, but could also

1145
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:55,200
Speaker 3: now result in a child's parents getting divorced. By the way,

1146
00:51:55,960 --> 00:51:59,799
Speaker 3: it would never destroy us if you joined us live

1147
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:03,840
Speaker 3: on YouTube, TikTok and Facebook at three pm PST. Just

1148
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:06,000
Speaker 3: tap her profile every weekday, and there is a little

1149
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:11,640
Speaker 3: bit more to this story. But I'm frustrated, exhausted. I'm

1150
00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:15,360
Speaker 3: so angry because the whole time, Oh P's got this

1151
00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:21,880
Speaker 3: kind of like yes, just very very like that attitude

1152
00:52:21,920 --> 00:52:24,600
Speaker 3: of being like, oh well, it's not my fault, I'm

1153
00:52:24,640 --> 00:52:28,000
Speaker 3: not doing anything wrong, and you are. You are doing

1154
00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:32,560
Speaker 3: something wrong by letting this man who is was dating

1155
00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:35,600
Speaker 3: your cousin now married to her, married to her, letting

1156
00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:40,680
Speaker 3: him like send you all of these inappropriate things, obviously

1157
00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:43,760
Speaker 3: wanting to cheat or maybe is cheating with other people,

1158
00:52:44,719 --> 00:52:46,680
Speaker 3: and you do nothing because you're like, oh, well, it's

1159
00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:51,640
Speaker 3: not my it's not my business. It's your cousin allowing

1160
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:56,160
Speaker 3: to be involved in someone's cheating. Yeah. And also I think, like,

1161
00:52:56,440 --> 00:52:58,520
Speaker 3: you know, sometimes people aren't that close to their cousins.

1162
00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:01,640
Speaker 3: It seems like they're close enough to have like a

1163
00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:04,400
Speaker 3: cousin group chat, which not everyone has.

1164
00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:05,440
Speaker 5: Uh.

1165
00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:08,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is just I really really don't let go be.

1166
00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:11,719
Speaker 3: I thought maybe I should talk to my parents about it,

1167
00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:14,160
Speaker 3: but that's awkward as hell. I feel like I can't

1168
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:15,960
Speaker 3: straight up tell Carrie as I don't have a lot

1169
00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:16,840
Speaker 3: of physical evidence.

1170
00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:19,680
Speaker 4: Dude, this isn't this isn't like a crime scene. Yeah,

1171
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:24,480
Speaker 4: you could just tell your cousin's gonna trust you're stuff.

1172
00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:24,719
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1173
00:53:24,719 --> 00:53:27,200
Speaker 3: I've been receiving this for a while since I was

1174
00:53:27,239 --> 00:53:29,200
Speaker 3: never close to my family and disagree with them on

1175
00:53:29,239 --> 00:53:31,200
Speaker 3: a lot of topics. I fear they won't believe me

1176
00:53:31,239 --> 00:53:33,080
Speaker 3: and make me out to be the villain. You are

1177
00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:35,480
Speaker 3: you You're not the main villain, but you're sure as

1178
00:53:35,520 --> 00:53:38,719
Speaker 3: hell the sidekick villain. You could have recorded you know,

1179
00:53:38,719 --> 00:53:39,480
Speaker 3: the hman.

1180
00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:44,040
Speaker 4: They recorded it on with someone else's phone, like a

1181
00:53:44,160 --> 00:53:46,319
Speaker 4: long time. You could have done their way.

1182
00:53:46,400 --> 00:53:49,280
Speaker 3: You could have done it like a year ago, which

1183
00:53:49,320 --> 00:53:51,359
Speaker 3: is just a load of mental turmoil I don't want

1184
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:54,200
Speaker 3: to deal with. But this information is also mentally draining

1185
00:53:54,360 --> 00:53:56,319
Speaker 3: in the end, if they don't believe me, I don't

1186
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:59,120
Speaker 3: care about having a close relationship with my family. However,

1187
00:53:59,239 --> 00:54:01,480
Speaker 3: my family is all really close, so it will be

1188
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:04,080
Speaker 3: very uncomfortable at events, and I know my parents will

1189
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:06,879
Speaker 3: be upset to have the family fall apart like that.

1190
00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:10,000
Speaker 3: So my question is how do I handle this? Do

1191
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:12,640
Speaker 3: I or do I not tell Carrie about this? Am

1192
00:54:12,680 --> 00:54:14,640
Speaker 3: I the a hole for not telling my cousin about

1193
00:54:14,640 --> 00:54:16,920
Speaker 3: all of these conversations her husband had with me in

1194
00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:19,000
Speaker 3: the past. Or am I the a whole as a

1195
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:21,680
Speaker 3: gay man if I out someone to the world, my family,

1196
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:25,719
Speaker 3: his family, their friends, et cetera. One, you are the

1197
00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:30,160
Speaker 3: a hole for not telling your cousin about all these conversations.

1198
00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:34,359
Speaker 3: And I totally understand not wanting to out someone, but

1199
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:36,879
Speaker 3: you don't have to tell your whole family. I don't

1200
00:54:36,920 --> 00:54:38,680
Speaker 3: think you should. I think you should just go straight

1201
00:54:38,719 --> 00:54:41,160
Speaker 3: to carry and say, hey, I've been receiving a lot

1202
00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:44,160
Speaker 3: of inappropriate messages and I don't feel comfortable, and I

1203
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:48,160
Speaker 3: think you need to know. Regardless of someone's sexuality, you

1204
00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:49,880
Speaker 3: have a right to. I mean, it doesn't seem like

1205
00:54:49,880 --> 00:54:53,160
Speaker 3: you were that uncomfortable, honestly, but she you.

1206
00:54:53,120 --> 00:54:56,200
Speaker 4: Know, there is even stuff not related to sexuality that

1207
00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:58,040
Speaker 4: was still inappropriate.

1208
00:54:57,600 --> 00:55:00,080
Speaker 3: I'm sending, which you could bring up if you're like, oh, well,

1209
00:55:00,120 --> 00:55:03,000
Speaker 3: if that's the thing that's you know, stopping you about

1210
00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:05,399
Speaker 3: outing him, then you can bring up the fact that

1211
00:55:05,520 --> 00:55:10,040
Speaker 3: he sent your brother women's spicy picks.

1212
00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:13,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's like Sofa was saying, this has been going

1213
00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:17,200
Speaker 4: on for so long, and it is impossible not to

1214
00:55:17,239 --> 00:55:19,839
Speaker 4: look bad in this situation. Yeh, because Opie, you look

1215
00:55:20,040 --> 00:55:21,279
Speaker 4: quite pretty bad.

1216
00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:24,240
Speaker 3: But that is the end of that story. I kicked

1217
00:55:24,239 --> 00:55:27,200
Speaker 3: my best friend out of my wedding. Now I feel guilty.

1218
00:55:27,600 --> 00:55:29,399
Speaker 3: It's a long story, but I would like to write

1219
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:31,640
Speaker 3: it down and hope to hear your opinions on how

1220
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:34,600
Speaker 3: to handle this situation. My husband thirty one male, and

1221
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:37,399
Speaker 3: I twenty seven female, got married a few months ago,

1222
00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:41,440
Speaker 3: and it was truly the most beautiful day of my life. However,

1223
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:44,640
Speaker 3: there's one thing I look back on with mixed feelings.

1224
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:47,399
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Lovely Anything nineteen ninety

1225
00:55:47,440 --> 00:55:50,080
Speaker 3: seven on the Okay Storytime Suffered It. I've known my

1226
00:55:50,120 --> 00:55:52,719
Speaker 3: best friend, let's call her Alli, twenty eight female, for

1227
00:55:52,719 --> 00:55:55,719
Speaker 3: about fifteen years. My parents were never fond of her

1228
00:55:55,760 --> 00:55:57,799
Speaker 3: and believed she was a bad influence on me, but

1229
00:55:57,920 --> 00:55:59,920
Speaker 3: I really loved her. We've been through a lot in

1230
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:02,040
Speaker 3: and grew up together. When I got serious with my

1231
00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:05,239
Speaker 3: now husband, she struggled with me settling down and no

1232
00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:08,880
Speaker 3: longer wanted to go out every weekend. She, on the

1233
00:56:08,880 --> 00:56:11,319
Speaker 3: other hand, kept partying and had a new boyfriend from

1234
00:56:11,360 --> 00:56:13,920
Speaker 3: time to time. It's not a criticism or a reproach.

1235
00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:16,680
Speaker 3: We just naturally grew apart. I didn't speak for a

1236
00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:19,000
Speaker 3: few years. Although I missed her at times, it also

1237
00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:20,960
Speaker 3: gave me the space to grow into the person I

1238
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:24,080
Speaker 3: am today without her influence. In the meantime, I've made

1239
00:56:24,120 --> 00:56:26,440
Speaker 3: new friends who are in similar stages of life, and

1240
00:56:26,520 --> 00:56:29,479
Speaker 3: together with my husband, we have formed a wonderful group

1241
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:32,719
Speaker 3: of friends. Love to hear it, Life's going good. Three

1242
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:35,800
Speaker 3: years before the wedding, I received a text from Ali.

1243
00:56:36,080 --> 00:56:38,400
Speaker 3: She missed me and wanted to meet up. I accepted,

1244
00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:40,839
Speaker 3: and even after three years, it felt like no more

1245
00:56:40,880 --> 00:56:43,319
Speaker 3: than a week had passed since we last saw each other.

1246
00:56:43,440 --> 00:56:44,880
Speaker 3: We rekindled our friendship.

1247
00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:46,840
Speaker 4: That's so sweet, And that's how you know it's like

1248
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:49,440
Speaker 4: real friendship, if you like, if.

1249
00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:51,000
Speaker 3: You don't talk for a while and then you.

1250
00:56:51,120 --> 00:56:53,839
Speaker 4: Come back and it's been like good friends a week too.

1251
00:56:53,960 --> 00:56:56,919
Speaker 3: It's great. Yeah. However, I noticed that she needed more

1252
00:56:57,040 --> 00:56:59,719
Speaker 3: regular contact than I did. She texted me every day

1253
00:56:59,800 --> 00:57:01,960
Speaker 3: and wanted to meet up several times a week. I

1254
00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:04,680
Speaker 3: didn't desire that anymore. I preferred to spend my weekends

1255
00:57:04,680 --> 00:57:07,360
Speaker 3: with my husband and occasionally catch up with our friends.

1256
00:57:07,520 --> 00:57:10,040
Speaker 3: At this point, I hadn't gone out in years. This

1257
00:57:10,080 --> 00:57:12,840
Speaker 3: had been replaced by cozy dinners or get togethers with

1258
00:57:12,920 --> 00:57:16,240
Speaker 3: other couples or family. Ali hadn't really changed and still

1259
00:57:16,280 --> 00:57:19,400
Speaker 3: went out every weekend. My husband and I regularly invited

1260
00:57:19,400 --> 00:57:21,440
Speaker 3: her to join us for dinner, and her boyfriends were

1261
00:57:21,440 --> 00:57:25,959
Speaker 3: always welcome to However, it became increasingly unpleasant, as nine

1262
00:57:25,960 --> 00:57:28,600
Speaker 3: times out of ten Ali ended up arguing with her

1263
00:57:28,640 --> 00:57:31,080
Speaker 3: boyfriend at our table and wanted us to back her up.

1264
00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:32,320
Speaker 4: That is so awkward.

1265
00:57:32,360 --> 00:57:37,400
Speaker 6: It's so awkward.

1266
00:57:37,800 --> 00:57:39,760
Speaker 3: You were like, these guys, back me up.

1267
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:43,120
Speaker 4: Right, Yeah, I'm just trying to eat my cake and pease,

1268
00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:43,880
Speaker 4: what's going on?

1269
00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:47,480
Speaker 3: We were very uncomfortable with that. When my husband proposed

1270
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:50,040
Speaker 3: to me, Ali was genuinely happy for me. However, she

1271
00:57:50,160 --> 00:57:52,320
Speaker 3: often joked about whether I was sure he was the

1272
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:54,560
Speaker 3: right one for me, and that she could always arrange

1273
00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:57,760
Speaker 3: a getaway car for me on the day. Itself pretty rude,

1274
00:57:57,960 --> 00:58:00,400
Speaker 3: That is rude, I laughed it off. She kept pushing

1275
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:01,840
Speaker 3: me to be the maid of honor, but I had

1276
00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:04,240
Speaker 3: already decided that this role would go to my sister,

1277
00:58:04,320 --> 00:58:06,560
Speaker 3: who I'm very close to. I knew Ali would be

1278
00:58:06,680 --> 00:58:09,200
Speaker 3: very disappointed, so we decided to give her the role

1279
00:58:09,240 --> 00:58:10,440
Speaker 3: of MC instead.

1280
00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:16,200
Speaker 4: That's sweet me, everybody, everybody who's the feeling to know

1281
00:58:16,240 --> 00:58:20,120
Speaker 4: who or pardoner like trying to pick size.

1282
00:58:19,920 --> 00:58:23,080
Speaker 3: In the wedding. My family immediately objected, saying it wouldn't

1283
00:58:23,120 --> 00:58:26,040
Speaker 3: be a wise decision. Unfortunately they were right, but I

1284
00:58:26,120 --> 00:58:29,280
Speaker 3: really wanted her to be involved. During the wedding preparations.

1285
00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:32,520
Speaker 3: She repeatedly expressed that she thought it was a hassle,

1286
00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:34,400
Speaker 3: and she even asked me twice if I was sure

1287
00:58:34,440 --> 00:58:36,680
Speaker 3: I wanted her to be our EMC. Of course I do,

1288
00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:39,720
Speaker 3: I would reply. I feel so foolish for not realizing

1289
00:58:39,760 --> 00:58:41,600
Speaker 3: that she might have been trying to back out of it,

1290
00:58:41,680 --> 00:58:44,640
Speaker 3: and that I mistakenly thought she was just feeling insecure.

1291
00:58:45,360 --> 00:58:47,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, if she is like, this feels like a hassle

1292
00:58:48,040 --> 00:58:50,520
Speaker 4: and you and yeah, I would be like, okay, so

1293
00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:51,280
Speaker 4: do you not want to.

1294
00:58:51,480 --> 00:58:52,280
Speaker 3: Do you not want to do that?

1295
00:58:52,480 --> 00:58:53,440
Speaker 4: She was like fine, yea.

1296
00:58:54,200 --> 00:58:56,240
Speaker 3: It was only in the last few weeks before my

1297
00:58:56,280 --> 00:58:58,520
Speaker 3: wedding that things took a turn for the worse. She

1298
00:58:58,600 --> 00:59:01,919
Speaker 3: started gossiping about my other friends, claiming they hadn't done

1299
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:03,880
Speaker 3: enough for me. She kept mentioning how much she had

1300
00:59:03,920 --> 00:59:06,160
Speaker 3: to spend on my bachelorette party, even though my sister

1301
00:59:06,240 --> 00:59:07,880
Speaker 3: paid for most of it, and that she would get

1302
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:09,960
Speaker 3: back at me if she ever got married again. I

1303
00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:12,080
Speaker 3: brushed it off with a laugh, even though it left

1304
00:59:12,080 --> 00:59:15,600
Speaker 3: me feeling very uncomfortable. I was very busy planning my wedding,

1305
00:59:15,720 --> 00:59:18,320
Speaker 3: and this is where I feel like the a hole.

1306
00:59:18,440 --> 00:59:20,920
Speaker 3: I really didn't pay enough attention to her at that moment.

1307
00:59:21,080 --> 00:59:24,320
Speaker 3: I didn't take her seriously enough. In retrospect, I see

1308
00:59:24,360 --> 00:59:27,000
Speaker 3: that this role was far too much for her, but

1309
00:59:27,080 --> 00:59:29,760
Speaker 3: I didn't realize that at the time. I feel really

1310
00:59:29,760 --> 00:59:30,560
Speaker 3: guilty about it.

1311
00:59:30,680 --> 00:59:32,520
Speaker 4: Okay, Well, some compassion for op.

1312
00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:35,520
Speaker 3: Like, I mean OPI's you would hope that if your

1313
00:59:35,560 --> 00:59:37,320
Speaker 3: friend was feeling overwhelmed, she would come to you.

1314
00:59:37,520 --> 00:59:39,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you're in the midst of, like about to

1315
00:59:39,840 --> 00:59:42,240
Speaker 4: get married. There's so much in the air. You're not,

1316
00:59:42,360 --> 00:59:45,320
Speaker 4: you know, paying attention to every person involved in the wedding. Yeah,

1317
00:59:45,360 --> 00:59:47,640
Speaker 4: there's so much to juggle.

1318
00:59:47,800 --> 00:59:51,200
Speaker 3: Yeah. Absolutely. Three days before my wedding, I invited her

1319
00:59:51,200 --> 00:59:53,400
Speaker 3: to dinner just the two of us. I wanted to

1320
00:59:53,440 --> 00:59:56,360
Speaker 3: go over some wedding details and enjoy some drinks together

1321
00:59:56,480 --> 00:59:59,840
Speaker 3: before I embarked unmarried life. That evening, she told me

1322
00:59:59,880 --> 01:00:02,800
Speaker 3: that my husband might have cheated on me during his

1323
01:00:02,960 --> 01:00:03,840
Speaker 3: bachelor party.

1324
01:00:04,680 --> 01:00:06,680
Speaker 4: Oh, she just couldn't spread in.

1325
01:00:06,760 --> 01:00:10,120
Speaker 3: Tea and tea. I laughed and asked how she had

1326
01:00:10,160 --> 01:00:12,720
Speaker 3: come to that conclusion. My brother and father were also

1327
01:00:12,720 --> 01:00:15,040
Speaker 3: at the party, and I couldn't imagine that anything like

1328
01:00:15,080 --> 01:00:17,000
Speaker 3: that would have happened. She said that a friend of

1329
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:19,280
Speaker 3: hers whom I didn't know, had seen my husband at

1330
01:00:19,280 --> 01:00:22,360
Speaker 3: the club and suggested that they had spent the evening together.

1331
01:00:22,600 --> 01:00:25,560
Speaker 3: Although I trust my husband, it was unsettling to hear

1332
01:00:25,600 --> 01:00:28,560
Speaker 3: this just three days before my wedding. I confronted him

1333
01:00:28,560 --> 01:00:31,160
Speaker 3: about it, and he burst out laughing, assuring me that

1334
01:00:31,240 --> 01:00:33,840
Speaker 3: he would never do such a thing. It may sound naive,

1335
01:00:34,040 --> 01:00:36,320
Speaker 3: but I never believed for a second that Ali was

1336
01:00:36,320 --> 01:00:39,680
Speaker 3: telling the truth. I recognized it as yet another attempt

1337
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:42,640
Speaker 3: by her to create drama, so I didn't pursue it further.

1338
01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:44,560
Speaker 3: I don't know if I would immediately go to my

1339
01:00:44,760 --> 01:00:47,120
Speaker 3: husband's I think I would tell him that that happened,

1340
01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:49,120
Speaker 3: but I wouldn't come from like a did you be?

1341
01:00:49,240 --> 01:00:51,240
Speaker 3: Like she like she's been spreading all this stuff and.

1342
01:00:51,240 --> 01:00:52,920
Speaker 4: Like I don't believe that, But well, I'm saying like

1343
01:00:52,960 --> 01:00:55,800
Speaker 4: even after she talked to her husband and she was like, okay,

1344
01:00:55,840 --> 01:00:57,320
Speaker 4: Like I'm coming to a conclusion. You know, I trust

1345
01:00:57,360 --> 01:00:57,880
Speaker 4: my husband.

1346
01:00:58,000 --> 01:01:01,680
Speaker 3: Sure. It seems like she would then talk to are

1347
01:01:01,680 --> 01:01:04,600
Speaker 3: you spreading lives? That's a good point. We talked about

1348
01:01:04,640 --> 01:01:07,840
Speaker 3: it with other friends. Weeks later, everyone else denied that

1349
01:01:07,880 --> 01:01:10,320
Speaker 3: it had happened. The night before my wedding, she called

1350
01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:13,680
Speaker 3: me crying. She sobbed for hours, expressing how envious she

1351
01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:16,200
Speaker 3: was of me. She longed for a committed relationship, a

1352
01:01:16,240 --> 01:01:18,760
Speaker 3: good job, and a comfortable home. I felt guilty and

1353
01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:20,760
Speaker 3: tried to calm her down, but in the end I

1354
01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:22,800
Speaker 3: didn't go to bed until midnight. Why do you feel guilty?

1355
01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:25,360
Speaker 3: I don't know. Yeah, it's just your life. You're just

1356
01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:27,720
Speaker 3: living your life, do your thing. On the morning of

1357
01:01:27,800 --> 01:01:30,760
Speaker 3: my wedding, she arrived completely upset. After drinking a few

1358
01:01:30,840 --> 01:01:33,360
Speaker 3: mimosas she said to my mother, God, have mercy on

1359
01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:36,000
Speaker 3: me to survive this day. Just before the first look

1360
01:01:36,040 --> 01:01:39,240
Speaker 3: with my husband, she spoke to him briefly, girl, No,

1361
01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:41,760
Speaker 3: it's going to get worse. She mentioned that she didn't

1362
01:01:41,800 --> 01:01:43,840
Speaker 3: think my wedding dress suited me at all, and that

1363
01:01:43,960 --> 01:01:46,600
Speaker 3: it looked like a curtain. My husband ignored her common

1364
01:01:46,640 --> 01:01:49,040
Speaker 3: and didn't tell me about it until weeks later. That's

1365
01:01:49,120 --> 01:01:51,919
Speaker 3: honestly so fair tell her that, like.

1366
01:01:53,520 --> 01:01:55,720
Speaker 4: Your friend doesn't like your dress, I would not say

1367
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:57,880
Speaker 4: you don't add stressed to the bride.

1368
01:01:58,000 --> 01:02:01,040
Speaker 3: Ali walked around completely stressed. As terrible as I felt

1369
01:02:01,040 --> 01:02:03,400
Speaker 3: for her, I didn't pay much attention to it because

1370
01:02:03,400 --> 01:02:05,720
Speaker 3: I truly wanted to enjoy my wedding day. Where Ali,

1371
01:02:05,760 --> 01:02:08,840
Speaker 3: as emc should have handled everything related to receiving the guests,

1372
01:02:08,880 --> 01:02:11,480
Speaker 3: I'm playing the right music. My siblings took over that role.

1373
01:02:11,560 --> 01:02:15,480
Speaker 3: Things went wrong. After the ceremony, Ali came to me crying,

1374
01:02:15,760 --> 01:02:18,120
Speaker 3: yelling that I needed to hurry because we had completely

1375
01:02:18,160 --> 01:02:20,800
Speaker 3: deviated from the schedule and nothing was going the way

1376
01:02:20,800 --> 01:02:23,200
Speaker 3: she wanted. I calmly told her that's just how weddings

1377
01:02:23,240 --> 01:02:25,320
Speaker 3: go and that she shouldn't shout at me on my

1378
01:02:25,400 --> 01:02:26,000
Speaker 3: wedding day.

1379
01:02:27,560 --> 01:02:30,840
Speaker 4: It was like, it's fine, we're good, we're having fun, yeah,

1380
01:02:30,880 --> 01:02:32,280
Speaker 4: and Ali's like ah.

1381
01:02:32,320 --> 01:02:34,200
Speaker 3: I walked away because I didn't want to create a

1382
01:02:34,240 --> 01:02:36,560
Speaker 3: scene and went to take portrait photos with my husband

1383
01:02:36,600 --> 01:02:39,880
Speaker 3: and family members. While taking these photos, some guests approached me,

1384
01:02:40,080 --> 01:02:42,440
Speaker 3: asking if I could please go and talk to Ali

1385
01:02:42,680 --> 01:02:44,960
Speaker 3: because she was upset and only I could comfort her.

1386
01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:47,000
Speaker 3: I would not tell Ope this, I just you know what,

1387
01:02:47,040 --> 01:02:47,760
Speaker 3: someone else handle it.

1388
01:02:47,800 --> 01:02:51,320
Speaker 4: If I see like a bride's friend freaking out, I'm

1389
01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:55,320
Speaker 4: not going to God nor wedding day and be like,

1390
01:02:55,640 --> 01:02:56,440
Speaker 4: you need to take care.

1391
01:02:56,360 --> 01:02:57,960
Speaker 3: You need to take care of this right now. No,

1392
01:02:58,320 --> 01:03:00,520
Speaker 3: she can go cry here too. I might have been

1393
01:03:00,560 --> 01:03:03,120
Speaker 3: the ahole. I refused and told them that she needed

1394
01:03:03,160 --> 01:03:05,040
Speaker 3: to sort it out herself today, as it was my

1395
01:03:05,080 --> 01:03:06,920
Speaker 3: wedding day and I didn't want to deal with all

1396
01:03:06,960 --> 01:03:09,360
Speaker 3: the drama. Out of the corner of my eye, I

1397
01:03:09,440 --> 01:03:12,400
Speaker 3: saw Ali sitting at a table crying. Three guests were

1398
01:03:12,440 --> 01:03:15,360
Speaker 3: standing around her, and her shoulders were shaking. Instead of

1399
01:03:15,400 --> 01:03:18,800
Speaker 3: feeling pity, I felt angry and frustrated and started to cry.

1400
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:21,280
Speaker 3: My husband noticed it too and asked what I wanted.

1401
01:03:21,520 --> 01:03:24,200
Speaker 3: Just send her away, I blurted out, without thinking for

1402
01:03:24,280 --> 01:03:27,320
Speaker 3: even a second about the consequences, And so it happened.

1403
01:03:27,480 --> 01:03:30,520
Speaker 3: She was sent away. Oh, I mean, that's a lot,

1404
01:03:30,600 --> 01:03:33,760
Speaker 3: But also I totally understand she's literally taking up every

1405
01:03:33,840 --> 01:03:36,480
Speaker 3: moment of this wedding and making it about herself. Yeah,

1406
01:03:36,520 --> 01:03:38,080
Speaker 3: it's but yeah, just send her away.

1407
01:03:38,360 --> 01:03:40,400
Speaker 4: Like, imagine like you're crying in a wedding and they're like,

1408
01:03:40,560 --> 01:03:40,960
Speaker 4: get out.

1409
01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:43,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're bringing down the vibes.

1410
01:03:43,960 --> 01:03:46,440
Speaker 4: Es to be high, Yeah, and these are low, these.

1411
01:03:46,280 --> 01:03:48,920
Speaker 3: Are low vibes. Get out. At that moment, I decided

1412
01:03:48,960 --> 01:03:52,200
Speaker 3: to ignore what was happening and focus entirely on the wedding.

1413
01:03:52,360 --> 01:03:55,440
Speaker 3: We danced outside with the guests dying for hours at

1414
01:03:55,440 --> 01:03:58,439
Speaker 3: a long table and enjoyed the beautiful speeches. I look

1415
01:03:58,640 --> 01:04:00,959
Speaker 3: back on that day with so much love, But Ali

1416
01:04:01,040 --> 01:04:03,600
Speaker 3: and I have not spoken since then. Now months later,

1417
01:04:03,680 --> 01:04:06,080
Speaker 3: I realized the impact of my actions. I didn't see

1418
01:04:06,120 --> 01:04:07,920
Speaker 3: that this role was too much for her. I was

1419
01:04:07,960 --> 01:04:10,280
Speaker 3: selfish and completely focused on my wedding. I think I'm

1420
01:04:10,280 --> 01:04:12,000
Speaker 3: glad to be selfish about your weddings.

1421
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:14,120
Speaker 4: Not even selfish, it's just like, yeah, you need to

1422
01:04:14,120 --> 01:04:16,360
Speaker 4: put all of your bra into planning your wedding. That

1423
01:04:16,480 --> 01:04:17,480
Speaker 4: it's like a literally thing.

1424
01:04:17,720 --> 01:04:19,840
Speaker 3: It's literally a day about you. Yeah, I mean and

1425
01:04:19,880 --> 01:04:21,920
Speaker 3: your partner, but it's about like you, guys.

1426
01:04:22,040 --> 01:04:25,680
Speaker 4: We trust as adults friends with other autonomous adults that

1427
01:04:25,720 --> 01:04:27,800
Speaker 4: if something is too much for us, we could bring

1428
01:04:27,840 --> 01:04:28,480
Speaker 4: that express it.

1429
01:04:28,840 --> 01:04:29,160
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1430
01:04:29,360 --> 01:04:31,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I had sent her away from her best friend's wedding,

1431
01:04:31,880 --> 01:04:34,640
Speaker 3: and that must have been incredibly embarrassing for her. Despite

1432
01:04:34,680 --> 01:04:37,480
Speaker 3: Alli's actions, she is a good person at heart. She

1433
01:04:37,520 --> 01:04:39,880
Speaker 3: has so many wonderful qualities. I used to have a

1434
01:04:39,920 --> 01:04:41,840
Speaker 3: lot of fun with her, and I could always rely

1435
01:04:41,920 --> 01:04:44,200
Speaker 3: on her for support. I feel that I made the

1436
01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:47,640
Speaker 3: wrong and particularly harsh choice by sending her away during

1437
01:04:47,640 --> 01:04:50,400
Speaker 3: the wedding. She didn't deserve that. My husband says that

1438
01:04:50,440 --> 01:04:52,680
Speaker 3: he fully supports the decision to send her away and

1439
01:04:52,680 --> 01:04:55,040
Speaker 3: that if I hadn't said anything, he would have kicked

1440
01:04:55,040 --> 01:04:59,000
Speaker 3: her out anyway. The venue manager told us that things

1441
01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:01,400
Speaker 3: like this happen all the times at wedding, that there

1442
01:05:01,440 --> 01:05:04,000
Speaker 3: are often cases where a drunken uncle or even parents

1443
01:05:04,080 --> 01:05:06,000
Speaker 3: have been sent away, and that we shouldn't take it

1444
01:05:06,040 --> 01:05:08,440
Speaker 3: to heart. I noticed that others our friends and family

1445
01:05:08,600 --> 01:05:12,360
Speaker 3: understand the decision, but also find it uncomfortable and quite intense.

1446
01:05:12,560 --> 01:05:14,800
Speaker 3: So now I'm just trying to reflect on this situation.

1447
01:05:14,960 --> 01:05:17,840
Speaker 3: It's clear that my friendship with Ali has changed significantly

1448
01:05:17,840 --> 01:05:20,000
Speaker 3: over the years, and both of us have grown apart.

1449
01:05:20,120 --> 01:05:22,480
Speaker 3: While I was focused on building a life with my husband,

1450
01:05:22,520 --> 01:05:25,120
Speaker 3: Ali may have been struggling with feeling left behind. This

1451
01:05:25,200 --> 01:05:27,920
Speaker 3: may have contributed to her behavior leading up to my wedding.

1452
01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:30,520
Speaker 3: Sending her away was a drastic measure, and while it

1453
01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:32,760
Speaker 3: was a response to a culmination of frustration, it can

1454
01:05:32,760 --> 01:05:34,880
Speaker 3: also be seen as a lack of empathy towards someone

1455
01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:37,040
Speaker 3: who is struggling. I think I have every right to

1456
01:05:37,120 --> 01:05:39,880
Speaker 3: enjoy my wedding day without unnecessary drama, but it also

1457
01:05:39,960 --> 01:05:42,520
Speaker 3: feels harsh to cut her out without considering her feelings

1458
01:05:42,520 --> 01:05:44,840
Speaker 3: In that moment, I'm wondering if reaching out to Ali

1459
01:05:44,920 --> 01:05:46,960
Speaker 3: could bring closure for both of us. Would it be

1460
01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:49,800
Speaker 3: worth it to conduct her, apologize for our things ended

1461
01:05:49,800 --> 01:05:52,880
Speaker 3: on my wedding day, acknowledge her feelings, and express regret

1462
01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:55,480
Speaker 3: for how I handle the situation and the impact my

1463
01:05:55,560 --> 01:05:58,160
Speaker 3: actions may have had on her. So am I the

1464
01:05:58,240 --> 01:06:01,400
Speaker 3: a whole? Okay? So yeah, what are your thoughts here?

1465
01:06:01,720 --> 01:06:07,200
Speaker 4: OPI is taking on a lot of blame. Yeah, a

1466
01:06:07,240 --> 01:06:11,160
Speaker 4: lot of her friend's experience as her own. Like, even

1467
01:06:11,200 --> 01:06:14,480
Speaker 4: if it's true her friend feels left behind, if she,

1468
01:06:15,080 --> 01:06:17,000
Speaker 4: you know, is her life's not going the way she

1469
01:06:17,200 --> 01:06:20,720
Speaker 4: planned and all this stuff that sucks, It's perfectly like

1470
01:06:20,880 --> 01:06:24,080
Speaker 4: kind and empathetic to feel bad for your friend in

1471
01:06:24,160 --> 01:06:27,240
Speaker 4: general and to you know, want to support her, But

1472
01:06:27,360 --> 01:06:29,680
Speaker 4: to take it on as your own isn't serving you,

1473
01:06:29,720 --> 01:06:32,440
Speaker 4: and it's not serving your friend. Absolutely, it's taking on

1474
01:06:32,520 --> 01:06:36,000
Speaker 4: other people's crap as as your own, which is not gonna,

1475
01:06:36,120 --> 01:06:37,760
Speaker 4: you know, lead to any positive outcome.

1476
01:06:38,080 --> 01:06:38,280
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1477
01:06:38,400 --> 01:06:41,480
Speaker 4: And then also, it's not like your friend was struggling,

1478
01:06:41,760 --> 01:06:44,320
Speaker 4: and then you know that was it.

1479
01:06:44,320 --> 01:06:45,800
Speaker 3: It was that she was struggling and.

1480
01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:50,440
Speaker 4: Then also added so much more complexity to it and

1481
01:06:50,680 --> 01:06:55,160
Speaker 4: was acting in completely inappropriate behaviors like spreading a rumor

1482
01:06:55,200 --> 01:06:59,439
Speaker 4: that your husband cheated on you for the wedding. Yeah,

1483
01:06:59,480 --> 01:07:04,760
Speaker 4: which is so inappropriate and so one. Her struggles aren't

1484
01:07:04,760 --> 01:07:06,440
Speaker 4: your own, but it's okay to want to support your

1485
01:07:06,440 --> 01:07:06,840
Speaker 4: friend and.

1486
01:07:06,760 --> 01:07:07,640
Speaker 3: That that's sweet.

1487
01:07:07,680 --> 01:07:10,360
Speaker 4: And then two like, it's not just struggling her friend,

1488
01:07:10,440 --> 01:07:12,080
Speaker 4: was you know, interfering with the wedding.

1489
01:07:12,240 --> 01:07:12,560
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1490
01:07:12,560 --> 01:07:16,000
Speaker 4: And then three like sending her off might have not

1491
01:07:16,040 --> 01:07:17,960
Speaker 4: been the best decision, but it is a.

1492
01:07:17,920 --> 01:07:21,440
Speaker 3: Decision that you made. Yeah. And I do think that

1493
01:07:21,600 --> 01:07:23,520
Speaker 3: I agree with everything that you said. And I also

1494
01:07:23,560 --> 01:07:26,360
Speaker 3: think that if op is still thinking about this, it

1495
01:07:26,360 --> 01:07:29,440
Speaker 3: seems like considerable amount of time has passed since the wedding.

1496
01:07:29,960 --> 01:07:31,840
Speaker 3: I think if she's still thinking about it and it's

1497
01:07:31,840 --> 01:07:33,800
Speaker 3: still weighing on your mind. I think you could totally

1498
01:07:33,840 --> 01:07:35,600
Speaker 3: have a conversation with her and say, hey, like, this

1499
01:07:35,720 --> 01:07:37,560
Speaker 3: was what was going on with me, and it felt

1500
01:07:37,560 --> 01:07:39,080
Speaker 3: like you were putting a lot, you know, and I

1501
01:07:39,120 --> 01:07:40,880
Speaker 3: didn't know how to handle with that and stuff, and

1502
01:07:40,920 --> 01:07:42,600
Speaker 3: you could have a conversation with her, but just know

1503
01:07:42,680 --> 01:07:46,120
Speaker 3: it like you were not at fault for her behavior. Yeah,

1504
01:07:46,240 --> 01:07:47,360
Speaker 3: he's John, your og host.

1505
01:07:47,360 --> 01:07:47,480
Speaker 1: Here.

1506
01:07:47,520 --> 01:07:48,880
Speaker 5: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a

1507
01:07:48,920 --> 01:07:50,760
Speaker 5: quick three minute break of ass form more sponsors.

1508
01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:54,200
Speaker 4: My best friend ignored me at her wedding, but I

1509
01:07:54,200 --> 01:07:56,400
Speaker 4: didn't do anything wrong. I wanted to start this off

1510
01:07:56,400 --> 01:07:59,280
Speaker 4: by saying, I know this post reads very what is me.

1511
01:07:59,440 --> 01:08:02,320
Speaker 4: My friends wasn't centered on me. That's not at all

1512
01:08:02,360 --> 01:08:04,560
Speaker 4: my feelings. I was so ready and excited to help

1513
01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:06,960
Speaker 4: her in whatever way I could and just celebrate.

1514
01:08:06,560 --> 01:08:07,840
Speaker 3: Their love and marriage.

1515
01:08:07,960 --> 01:08:11,000
Speaker 4: She's known for being an extremely sweet and sunny person

1516
01:08:11,040 --> 01:08:13,400
Speaker 4: that wouldn't hurt her fly, so she doesn't even yell

1517
01:08:13,480 --> 01:08:16,160
Speaker 4: at crappy or a whole driver's By the way, this

1518
01:08:16,240 --> 01:08:18,639
Speaker 4: comes from you dash draw away of vice fifty six

1519
01:08:18,760 --> 01:08:22,200
Speaker 4: on the r dash Okay Storytime subreddit, So please keep

1520
01:08:22,200 --> 01:08:25,240
Speaker 4: in mind when reading my very long sorry and thank

1521
01:08:25,280 --> 01:08:27,960
Speaker 4: you if you make it through all of it posts. Also,

1522
01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:29,759
Speaker 4: as far as I know, we didn't have a falling

1523
01:08:29,760 --> 01:08:31,720
Speaker 4: out and I didn't do anything that I know of

1524
01:08:31,840 --> 01:08:34,679
Speaker 4: to upset her to warrant this behavior. For context, this girl,

1525
01:08:34,760 --> 01:08:37,120
Speaker 4: we'll call her l Down it's me and giving her an.

1526
01:08:37,160 --> 01:08:37,559
Speaker 3: L our.

1527
01:08:39,880 --> 01:08:43,000
Speaker 4: Married my cousin, we'll call him R, who has always

1528
01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:44,080
Speaker 4: been more like a brother.

1529
01:08:44,200 --> 01:08:45,839
Speaker 3: We are all in our late twenties.

1530
01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:49,439
Speaker 4: I've known our my whole life obviously, and el Okay,

1531
01:08:49,439 --> 01:08:50,839
Speaker 4: this is confusing with these letters.

1532
01:08:50,680 --> 01:08:53,080
Speaker 3: You give them Lisa and Rick.

1533
01:08:53,680 --> 01:08:56,400
Speaker 4: Okay, So I've known Rick my whole life obviously, and

1534
01:08:56,520 --> 01:08:58,920
Speaker 4: Lisa for like six years. We met when they had

1535
01:08:59,000 --> 01:09:01,120
Speaker 4: just started dating, and it felt like an instant friendship.

1536
01:09:01,120 --> 01:09:03,400
Speaker 4: I fully considered Lisa one of my best friends and

1537
01:09:03,400 --> 01:09:05,519
Speaker 4: one of my most treasured people in my life, and

1538
01:09:05,600 --> 01:09:08,200
Speaker 4: she said that she saw me as the same. We

1539
01:09:08,240 --> 01:09:10,719
Speaker 4: talked about having each other in our weddings, living close

1540
01:09:10,800 --> 01:09:12,880
Speaker 4: to each other, and having kids around the same time

1541
01:09:12,960 --> 01:09:14,719
Speaker 4: so they could grow up together everything.

1542
01:09:14,760 --> 01:09:15,400
Speaker 3: That's so sweet.

1543
01:09:15,479 --> 01:09:17,840
Speaker 4: I love that Lisa asked me to be a bridesmaid,

1544
01:09:17,880 --> 01:09:19,840
Speaker 4: which of course I was super excited about and said

1545
01:09:19,920 --> 01:09:21,960
Speaker 4: yes and a heartbeat. Her maids of honor plan this

1546
01:09:22,000 --> 01:09:25,559
Speaker 4: elaborate and expensive bachelorette trip that I could not afford

1547
01:09:25,640 --> 01:09:28,120
Speaker 4: for several reasons and unfortunately could not go on. I

1548
01:09:28,160 --> 01:09:30,559
Speaker 4: texted her before making the decision to not go and

1549
01:09:30,600 --> 01:09:32,880
Speaker 4: asked her how disappointed she would be if I couldn't go.

1550
01:09:33,040 --> 01:09:35,720
Speaker 4: Lisa said she understood and that I'd be missed, but

1551
01:09:35,840 --> 01:09:37,679
Speaker 4: it doesn't want me to put myself in a bad

1552
01:09:37,720 --> 01:09:41,240
Speaker 4: situation financially. Following the trip, I texted Lisa a few

1553
01:09:41,240 --> 01:09:43,760
Speaker 4: times throughout the interim to ask about wedding things so

1554
01:09:43,800 --> 01:09:46,040
Speaker 4: I could plan things like where to stay, outfits for

1555
01:09:46,080 --> 01:09:48,519
Speaker 4: the weekend, and help my boyfriend pick his outfit. Every

1556
01:09:48,600 --> 01:09:51,599
Speaker 4: response I got was friendly. You know when you read

1557
01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:53,760
Speaker 4: a text and it's got the exclamation points but also

1558
01:09:53,800 --> 01:09:55,160
Speaker 4: read super condescending.

1559
01:09:55,320 --> 01:09:56,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was the vibe.

1560
01:09:56,479 --> 01:10:00,000
Speaker 4: I'm so bad at just reading cues through text. Yeah,

1561
01:10:00,120 --> 01:10:01,080
Speaker 4: I get so confused.

1562
01:10:01,360 --> 01:10:03,040
Speaker 3: I think I'm pretty good at reading text.

1563
01:10:03,120 --> 01:10:05,960
Speaker 4: I like wish the text me. I wish I could

1564
01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:08,960
Speaker 4: just not text. I wish voice notes were the only

1565
01:10:08,960 --> 01:10:09,640
Speaker 4: way people I.

1566
01:10:09,960 --> 01:10:12,240
Speaker 3: My friend and I at the beginning of our friendship,

1567
01:10:12,280 --> 01:10:14,080
Speaker 3: we just like only send voice notes.

1568
01:10:14,120 --> 01:10:15,599
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm a big voice notes here.

1569
01:10:15,640 --> 01:10:18,160
Speaker 3: It was really fun. Yeah, we just go back and forth. Yeah.

1570
01:10:18,240 --> 01:10:20,000
Speaker 4: I was on the way up here driving my friend

1571
01:10:20,000 --> 01:10:21,479
Speaker 4: and I were sending voice notes.

1572
01:10:21,720 --> 01:10:22,320
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1573
01:10:22,360 --> 01:10:25,759
Speaker 4: However, when people send like ten to thirty like minutes

1574
01:10:25,760 --> 01:10:26,679
Speaker 4: a voice notes.

1575
01:10:26,840 --> 01:10:29,839
Speaker 3: No, no, no, I got voice notes, or like two minutes.

1576
01:10:29,960 --> 01:10:32,840
Speaker 4: Then comes the bridal shower. Lisa had a great time,

1577
01:10:32,880 --> 01:10:35,040
Speaker 4: which I was happy to see. I had already Scotts

1578
01:10:35,080 --> 01:10:37,160
Speaker 4: in her gifts off the registry and they were sent

1579
01:10:37,200 --> 01:10:39,800
Speaker 4: directly to her house. They should have been received like

1580
01:10:39,840 --> 01:10:40,560
Speaker 4: a month.

1581
01:10:40,360 --> 01:10:41,120
Speaker 3: Before the shower.

1582
01:10:41,240 --> 01:10:43,040
Speaker 4: I never heard from her or rick on if they

1583
01:10:43,080 --> 01:10:45,439
Speaker 4: got them. I asked that the shower if she received them,

1584
01:10:45,439 --> 01:10:47,920
Speaker 4: and she said yes, nothing else, no thank you, no

1585
01:10:48,040 --> 01:10:49,400
Speaker 4: comments about what she got.

1586
01:10:49,439 --> 01:10:49,719
Speaker 3: Nothing.

1587
01:10:49,800 --> 01:10:51,360
Speaker 4: She's like, did you get my gifts? She's like I

1588
01:10:51,439 --> 01:10:55,120
Speaker 4: did dead yes, No, she just thumbs up. Yeah, she's

1589
01:10:55,160 --> 01:10:58,280
Speaker 4: like she gave her a shotka. Before I left, I

1590
01:10:58,320 --> 01:11:00,439
Speaker 4: carpolled and had to leave when my ride was leaving,

1591
01:11:00,520 --> 01:11:02,439
Speaker 4: or else I'd be stranded forty plus minutes from my

1592
01:11:02,479 --> 01:11:04,560
Speaker 4: house and Uber isn't cheap out there. I wanted to

1593
01:11:04,600 --> 01:11:06,640
Speaker 4: take a picture with Lisa. I asked her, and she

1594
01:11:06,760 --> 01:11:09,519
Speaker 4: seemed like it was the biggest inconvenience. Even though she

1595
01:11:09,640 --> 01:11:12,000
Speaker 4: was already at her photo art taking pictures with other

1596
01:11:12,040 --> 01:11:15,200
Speaker 4: guests at the shower, I thought, okay, odd, whatever, maybe

1597
01:11:15,200 --> 01:11:17,559
Speaker 4: she's just stressed. We took the picture and I gave

1598
01:11:17,760 --> 01:11:19,920
Speaker 4: Lisa a hug and left with my ride. I wonder

1599
01:11:20,000 --> 01:11:22,200
Speaker 4: what she's upset about. It seems like she's obvious, kind

1600
01:11:22,200 --> 01:11:22,960
Speaker 4: of something going on.

1601
01:11:23,080 --> 01:11:25,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, what it is, Mabe? She didn't like to give

1602
01:11:25,840 --> 01:11:28,040
Speaker 3: I guess not yeah? Or do you think is pretty sucky?

1603
01:11:28,400 --> 01:11:31,040
Speaker 4: Do you think she's upset because Opie wasn't able to

1604
01:11:31,040 --> 01:11:34,280
Speaker 4: make it to the bachelorette party, probably now comes the

1605
01:11:34,280 --> 01:11:37,160
Speaker 4: wedding weekend. This wedding was about two hours away, and

1606
01:11:37,200 --> 01:11:39,360
Speaker 4: I had to go early and spend a long weekend there.

1607
01:11:39,479 --> 01:11:41,759
Speaker 4: I arrived like the second of her bridal party.

1608
01:11:41,800 --> 01:11:42,240
Speaker 3: To get there.

1609
01:11:42,360 --> 01:11:44,519
Speaker 4: Every member the party or close friend of hers got

1610
01:11:44,520 --> 01:11:47,080
Speaker 4: a huge scream and a running hug when they arrived.

1611
01:11:47,120 --> 01:11:51,280
Speaker 4: Everyone accept me. I got a oh hi, OPI, Hi.

1612
01:11:51,840 --> 01:11:55,920
Speaker 3: Hey, oh you're here. I thought it'd be too expensive

1613
01:11:55,960 --> 01:11:56,200
Speaker 3: for you.

1614
01:11:57,120 --> 01:11:58,479
Speaker 4: I didn't want to want you to put yourself in

1615
01:11:58,520 --> 01:12:03,160
Speaker 4: a financial life.

1616
01:12:01,960 --> 01:12:02,599
Speaker 3: And that was that.

1617
01:12:02,680 --> 01:12:04,639
Speaker 4: At first I thought it was odd, but again thought

1618
01:12:04,680 --> 01:12:07,120
Speaker 4: Lisa was just stressed with the wedding planning after seeing

1619
01:12:07,160 --> 01:12:09,120
Speaker 4: her act very differently with every other person.

1620
01:12:09,240 --> 01:12:13,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, every person's like, oh, oh my god, and she's like, hey,

1621
01:12:13,720 --> 01:12:14,720
Speaker 3: it's nice to see you.

1622
01:12:15,040 --> 01:12:16,920
Speaker 4: So the rest of the days leading up to the

1623
01:12:16,960 --> 01:12:20,080
Speaker 4: wedding were filled with a lot of sarcastic comments and responses,

1624
01:12:20,320 --> 01:12:22,920
Speaker 4: nasty side eye looks, and at times even flat out

1625
01:12:22,960 --> 01:12:24,920
Speaker 4: ignoring me. I'd once met the other members of the

1626
01:12:24,960 --> 01:12:26,840
Speaker 4: bridal party once or twice, so she was the only

1627
01:12:26,880 --> 01:12:29,200
Speaker 4: person I knew I was comfortable around. I felt so

1628
01:12:29,320 --> 01:12:31,760
Speaker 4: alone the whole time, no matter what I did. Oh

1629
01:12:31,800 --> 01:12:34,559
Speaker 4: that sucks. I get super triggered when I feel like

1630
01:12:34,760 --> 01:12:36,120
Speaker 4: odd man how or black Ship.

1631
01:12:36,280 --> 01:12:39,040
Speaker 3: So that definitely sucks. Oh it's not a fun vibe.

1632
01:12:39,080 --> 01:12:41,640
Speaker 3: You're just standing there and you're like, okay, I'll just

1633
01:12:41,640 --> 01:12:43,200
Speaker 3: go in the corner. I hate when you only know

1634
01:12:43,280 --> 01:12:45,439
Speaker 3: one person and that person starts talking to other people

1635
01:12:45,479 --> 01:12:47,000
Speaker 3: and you're like, Okay.

1636
01:12:47,439 --> 01:12:49,840
Speaker 4: The day the wedding comes and it's the same crap,

1637
01:12:49,920 --> 01:12:52,599
Speaker 4: I might as well have not been there. Only times

1638
01:12:52,640 --> 01:12:55,400
Speaker 4: I was acknowledged was by the other members of the

1639
01:12:55,439 --> 01:12:58,040
Speaker 4: bridal party when they needed something. I came prepared and

1640
01:12:58,040 --> 01:12:59,880
Speaker 4: had basically any supplies we could need for a wed.

1641
01:13:00,439 --> 01:13:02,400
Speaker 4: There was one bridesmaid that talked to me throughout the

1642
01:13:02,400 --> 01:13:05,040
Speaker 4: getting ready time, and I'm very grateful for her because

1643
01:13:05,080 --> 01:13:07,599
Speaker 4: otherwise I would have just felt like crying from feeling

1644
01:13:07,680 --> 01:13:10,599
Speaker 4: so hated and unwanted. Yeah, Super said, now comes time

1645
01:13:10,600 --> 01:13:13,240
Speaker 4: for pictures. As we were taking pictures, she acted even

1646
01:13:13,280 --> 01:13:15,600
Speaker 4: more cold towards me. Anytime I tried to do what

1647
01:13:15,640 --> 01:13:17,800
Speaker 4: the photographer asked us to do, if it put me

1648
01:13:17,840 --> 01:13:19,599
Speaker 4: in the front of the picture, Lisa would look at

1649
01:13:19,600 --> 01:13:22,360
Speaker 4: me annoyed or scoff or act rude or angry in

1650
01:13:22,400 --> 01:13:24,760
Speaker 4: some way. She was only acting like this towards me.

1651
01:13:24,880 --> 01:13:27,200
Speaker 4: The photographer was taking pictures of her with each member

1652
01:13:27,240 --> 01:13:29,280
Speaker 4: of her party individually. She starts with some of the

1653
01:13:29,280 --> 01:13:32,479
Speaker 4: other girls and they are so smiling and having a blast,

1654
01:13:32,560 --> 01:13:34,880
Speaker 4: and she said something sweet to each They pose in

1655
01:13:34,920 --> 01:13:37,120
Speaker 4: a cute clothes hug, and then it was the next

1656
01:13:37,160 --> 01:13:39,599
Speaker 4: one's turn. When it comes to my turn, she visibly

1657
01:13:39,680 --> 01:13:42,560
Speaker 4: shuts down. We do an awkward side hug close to

1658
01:13:42,640 --> 01:13:44,000
Speaker 4: the picture, and then had.

1659
01:13:43,880 --> 01:13:47,880
Speaker 3: A huge gap of spade. She's like, she's like and

1660
01:13:47,920 --> 01:13:52,439
Speaker 3: the other one she's like, girl. Yeah.

1661
01:13:52,680 --> 01:13:55,280
Speaker 4: Awkwardly walk away to stand with the others again. The

1662
01:13:55,280 --> 01:13:57,559
Speaker 4: rest of the night went similarly. To top it off,

1663
01:13:57,640 --> 01:14:00,120
Speaker 4: Lisa and Rick invited my ex. They told me he

1664
01:14:00,240 --> 01:14:02,840
Speaker 4: wasn't going to be invited and they aren't even friends

1665
01:14:02,840 --> 01:14:06,400
Speaker 4: with anymore. As they hung out once post breakup over

1666
01:14:06,520 --> 01:14:09,080
Speaker 4: two years ago, and Rick and Lisa said it was

1667
01:14:09,160 --> 01:14:11,960
Speaker 4: super awkward. Yeah, so they hung out with this person.

1668
01:14:11,680 --> 01:14:14,120
Speaker 3: Once, like and enjoy and they were like, we need

1669
01:14:14,160 --> 01:14:17,000
Speaker 3: him at us. Oh, we definitely need them matter And

1670
01:14:17,000 --> 01:14:20,240
Speaker 3: they were going through the list right him. We gotta

1671
01:14:20,360 --> 01:14:25,599
Speaker 3: have him. It ain't a party without ops, but your cousin.

1672
01:14:25,640 --> 01:14:27,920
Speaker 3: I don't know if there's room. Yeah, I'm gonna have

1673
01:14:27,920 --> 01:14:28,920
Speaker 3: to cut down the list.

1674
01:14:29,000 --> 01:14:30,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, as far as I saw, I was the only

1675
01:14:30,880 --> 01:14:33,120
Speaker 4: person in the entire wedding party guest list. I was

1676
01:14:33,160 --> 01:14:35,519
Speaker 4: being treated with anything less than her usual sweet and

1677
01:14:35,600 --> 01:14:37,720
Speaker 4: sunny self. If she didn't want me there, why even

1678
01:14:37,720 --> 01:14:39,960
Speaker 4: asked me to be a bridesmaid. It was so hurtful

1679
01:14:40,000 --> 01:14:41,800
Speaker 4: to think Lisa used to mean so much to me

1680
01:14:41,840 --> 01:14:43,720
Speaker 4: and I felt like less than the gum on the

1681
01:14:43,760 --> 01:14:46,040
Speaker 4: bottom of her shoe. I still wanted to give her

1682
01:14:46,040 --> 01:14:48,040
Speaker 4: the benefit of the doubt and assumed it was because

1683
01:14:48,040 --> 01:14:51,599
Speaker 4: she was so stressed with the wedding. Really sweet of Opay,

1684
01:14:52,439 --> 01:14:55,320
Speaker 4: maybe she's just going through something stressed and I keep

1685
01:14:55,320 --> 01:14:57,519
Speaker 4: triggering her stress. We talked a little at the next

1686
01:14:57,520 --> 01:14:59,439
Speaker 4: family event, and it kind of seemed like we were

1687
01:14:59,520 --> 01:15:01,800
Speaker 4: going back to for a normal dynamic. I knew it

1688
01:15:01,840 --> 01:15:03,479
Speaker 4: was going to take a bit before I was ready

1689
01:15:03,479 --> 01:15:05,720
Speaker 4: to forgive her for taking her stress out on me,

1690
01:15:05,880 --> 01:15:07,920
Speaker 4: but I was willing to try. And by the way,

1691
01:15:08,120 --> 01:15:10,080
Speaker 4: if you don't want to try and you just want

1692
01:15:10,080 --> 01:15:12,719
Speaker 4: to do come join us live on YouTube every weekday

1693
01:15:12,720 --> 01:15:14,840
Speaker 4: at three pm PST. Just tap our posts to do it.

1694
01:15:15,680 --> 01:15:18,799
Speaker 4: There's another relevant update what some discussions are needed.

1695
01:15:20,040 --> 01:15:21,800
Speaker 3: I think I think she's probably still mad about the

1696
01:15:21,800 --> 01:15:24,400
Speaker 3: bachelorette thing. It's that's the only thing that's happened that

1697
01:15:24,479 --> 01:15:27,160
Speaker 3: we know of, Yeah, that we know of. Maybybe Op's

1698
01:15:27,200 --> 01:15:29,560
Speaker 3: been a little bit less than forthcoming.

1699
01:15:29,160 --> 01:15:31,760
Speaker 4: Or maybe op just doesn't know. Yeah, maybe something else

1700
01:15:31,800 --> 01:15:32,639
Speaker 4: and she's like not even.

1701
01:15:32,520 --> 01:15:32,880
Speaker 3: Aware of it.

1702
01:15:33,360 --> 01:15:36,840
Speaker 4: Oh that also, you know, so the wedding's over at

1703
01:15:36,840 --> 01:15:39,880
Speaker 4: this point and after it seems like she's kind of

1704
01:15:39,920 --> 01:15:42,599
Speaker 4: just like, hey, girl, like casting the waters. It seems

1705
01:15:42,600 --> 01:15:44,440
Speaker 4: like at that point you would have a conversation.

1706
01:15:45,040 --> 01:15:47,720
Speaker 3: Notice some like different you know behavior between.

1707
01:15:47,400 --> 01:15:49,960
Speaker 4: Us at the wedding, Like am I making it up?

1708
01:15:50,479 --> 01:15:51,680
Speaker 4: Or is something going on?

1709
01:15:51,720 --> 01:15:53,599
Speaker 3: I really understand if you were just kind of stressed,

1710
01:15:53,680 --> 01:15:55,519
Speaker 3: but I would love to talk about it. Make sure

1711
01:15:55,560 --> 01:15:57,360
Speaker 3: I didn't do anything, yeah to upset you.

1712
01:15:57,520 --> 01:15:59,960
Speaker 4: But yeah, totally makes sense that you would feel upset

1713
01:16:00,160 --> 01:16:02,439
Speaker 4: with her, wouldn't want need to forgive her. But if

1714
01:16:02,439 --> 01:16:04,599
Speaker 4: you're just gonna hold it in and then see her

1715
01:16:04,840 --> 01:16:06,960
Speaker 4: go back to normal or even continue to do that,

1716
01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:08,719
Speaker 4: it's just a little well for your friendships.

1717
01:16:08,840 --> 01:16:10,320
Speaker 3: Communicate no no no.

1718
01:16:10,560 --> 01:16:12,880
Speaker 4: Fast forward to today, Lisa posts one of her wedding

1719
01:16:12,920 --> 01:16:15,519
Speaker 4: photos on social media to highlight her bridle party. She

1720
01:16:15,680 --> 01:16:18,080
Speaker 4: chose a photo that had her whole bridal party in it.

1721
01:16:18,160 --> 01:16:20,280
Speaker 4: But you can't see me. All that is visible is

1722
01:16:20,360 --> 01:16:20,760
Speaker 4: my arm.

1723
01:16:20,800 --> 01:16:25,120
Speaker 3: She cuts you out, cut you out, that she's upset

1724
01:16:25,160 --> 01:16:29,240
Speaker 3: with you. She's upset with you. She does not like you.

1725
01:16:29,240 --> 01:16:31,240
Speaker 3: You're the only one that got cut out. She does

1726
01:16:31,400 --> 01:16:32,120
Speaker 3: not like you.

1727
01:16:32,400 --> 01:16:35,599
Speaker 4: Be so funny if she's like visibly photoshopped out, there's

1728
01:16:35,640 --> 01:16:35,880
Speaker 4: just like.

1729
01:16:35,960 --> 01:16:38,000
Speaker 3: There's like a fly, like a bunch of flowers in

1730
01:16:38,000 --> 01:16:41,160
Speaker 3: front of her. Where did that come from?

1731
01:16:41,400 --> 01:16:44,000
Speaker 4: So I'm tagged, but you would only know if I'm

1732
01:16:44,040 --> 01:16:45,960
Speaker 4: there if you looked at the tags. I can't help

1733
01:16:45,960 --> 01:16:48,960
Speaker 4: but feel like this was intentional after everything else that happened.

1734
01:16:49,000 --> 01:16:52,320
Speaker 3: It's possible, that possible, you know, if you talked it

1735
01:16:52,360 --> 01:16:56,240
Speaker 3: was a crop and yeah, Instagram crop sings weirdly. Yeah,

1736
01:16:56,400 --> 01:16:57,760
Speaker 3: I think you have to talk to her though.

1737
01:16:57,840 --> 01:16:59,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm so ready to just be done with this

1738
01:16:59,760 --> 01:17:02,360
Speaker 4: whole friendship and only see her as someone I've related

1739
01:17:02,400 --> 01:17:05,080
Speaker 4: to by marriage. Am I overreacting for feeling this is

1740
01:17:05,160 --> 01:17:10,040
Speaker 4: all on purpose and feeling hurt by this? So there

1741
01:17:10,080 --> 01:17:13,160
Speaker 4: we have it, regardless if all of it the way

1742
01:17:13,200 --> 01:17:17,320
Speaker 4: you perceived it is real or or not or somewhere

1743
01:17:17,320 --> 01:17:20,080
Speaker 4: in between, because it's you know, it's never like one

1744
01:17:20,120 --> 01:17:22,759
Speaker 4: hundred percent protecting and it's never one hundred percent clearly

1745
01:17:22,800 --> 01:17:26,240
Speaker 4: seeing reality. There's always some mixture of, you know, some

1746
01:17:26,600 --> 01:17:29,679
Speaker 4: unclear way of seeing it. Regardless. If you don't check

1747
01:17:29,720 --> 01:17:32,040
Speaker 4: with the person, then you're never gonna know.

1748
01:17:32,240 --> 01:17:33,639
Speaker 3: You're never gonna know what what happens.

1749
01:17:33,680 --> 01:17:36,040
Speaker 4: And you just had to sit with your your story

1750
01:17:36,080 --> 01:17:39,599
Speaker 4: of it, whether you're curiosity or not. And so there's

1751
01:17:39,600 --> 01:17:42,599
Speaker 4: always an opportunity to check your assumptions or check your

1752
01:17:42,640 --> 01:17:45,679
Speaker 4: perceptions of how things went down with someone and come

1753
01:17:45,720 --> 01:17:48,080
Speaker 4: to a shared understanding and shared reality.

1754
01:17:48,280 --> 01:17:50,080
Speaker 3: I agree, But if you just don't do.

1755
01:17:50,120 --> 01:17:52,720
Speaker 4: That, then you'll just be harbor it and decide that

1756
01:17:52,880 --> 01:17:55,439
Speaker 4: because of this perception that may or may not be true,

1757
01:17:55,479 --> 01:17:57,000
Speaker 4: that you don't want to be friends with this person.

1758
01:17:57,120 --> 01:17:59,479
Speaker 4: Then you're just drawing away a relationship that could potentially

1759
01:17:59,520 --> 01:18:01,360
Speaker 4: be a wonderful relationship with you, but.

1760
01:18:01,439 --> 01:18:03,360
Speaker 3: You'll never know until you after. But that is the

1761
01:18:03,479 --> 01:18:04,360
Speaker 3: end of that story.

1762
01:18:04,600 --> 01:18:08,479
Speaker 1: My maid of honors bad habits will ruin my wedding,

1763
01:18:09,160 --> 01:18:12,000
Speaker 1: so I'm removing her. Okay, here we go. I thirty

1764
01:18:12,000 --> 01:18:14,479
Speaker 1: two female, am getting married in less than a month.

1765
01:18:14,680 --> 01:18:17,720
Speaker 1: I have two maids of honors and two more bride'smaids.

1766
01:18:17,840 --> 01:18:20,920
Speaker 1: My maids of honors are Rachel thirty three female, and Megan,

1767
01:18:21,040 --> 01:18:23,360
Speaker 1: thirty three female. I met them during COVID. They were

1768
01:18:23,400 --> 01:18:26,439
Speaker 1: already really close, but the three of us became very

1769
01:18:26,439 --> 01:18:29,880
Speaker 1: close very quickly, and have maintained an equal best friend

1770
01:18:29,960 --> 01:18:33,799
Speaker 1: dynamic until recently. I have friends that I've known longer,

1771
01:18:33,880 --> 01:18:37,160
Speaker 1: but for a few years now, I've been closest with them.

1772
01:18:37,280 --> 01:18:40,360
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user routine curious eighty

1773
01:18:40,360 --> 01:18:43,360
Speaker 1: one eighty one on the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

1774
01:18:43,560 --> 01:18:46,320
Speaker 1: So Megan's an addict. When I met her, she was

1775
01:18:46,400 --> 01:18:51,639
Speaker 1: not using, but I've seen her relapse four times since. Opioids, perks, snorting,

1776
01:18:51,840 --> 01:18:54,280
Speaker 1: h Rachel and I do none of these things. Addiction

1777
01:18:54,400 --> 01:18:57,000
Speaker 1: is hard people. Yeah, the first two times she went

1778
01:18:57,040 --> 01:18:59,599
Speaker 1: to a detox facility. When she uses, she really distances

1779
01:18:59,600 --> 01:19:02,439
Speaker 1: herself and lies. In the past, I've been really supportive

1780
01:19:02,439 --> 01:19:04,360
Speaker 1: and I try to be there for Meghan and I's

1781
01:19:04,400 --> 01:19:08,080
Speaker 1: relationship has had some rocky points. At the beginning of summer, Rachel, Meghan,

1782
01:19:08,160 --> 01:19:10,840
Speaker 1: and I added some events to our calendars we wanted

1783
01:19:10,880 --> 01:19:13,280
Speaker 1: to go to. One was a music festival hosted by

1784
01:19:13,320 --> 01:19:15,840
Speaker 1: a place Rachel worked at. She was to get us

1785
01:19:15,880 --> 01:19:18,400
Speaker 1: free tickets. Rachel ended up leaving her job, so I

1786
01:19:18,439 --> 01:19:20,519
Speaker 1: didn't bring up the event and no one else did either.

1787
01:19:20,640 --> 01:19:23,719
Speaker 1: Turns out they went to the festival without me. Oh no,

1788
01:19:24,880 --> 01:19:28,840
Speaker 1: that sucks. Yeah, that's that's not very friendly behavior and cool.

1789
01:19:29,120 --> 01:19:29,960
Speaker 3: That's not cash money.

1790
01:19:30,040 --> 01:19:33,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, that is very not cash money. I was upset,

1791
01:19:33,400 --> 01:19:35,840
Speaker 1: and Meghan said things like, well, you could have asked

1792
01:19:35,880 --> 01:19:38,439
Speaker 1: if anyone was interested in going but any one of

1793
01:19:38,520 --> 01:19:41,439
Speaker 1: us could have, and since they went, they clearly talked

1794
01:19:41,439 --> 01:19:42,519
Speaker 1: about the event without Yeah.

1795
01:19:42,520 --> 01:19:45,560
Speaker 3: It seems like one of them said hey, Meghan, do

1796
01:19:45,560 --> 01:19:48,280
Speaker 3: you want to go? And like not in the group

1797
01:19:48,360 --> 01:19:50,639
Speaker 3: chat yeah is she? And then Meghan was like, sure,

1798
01:19:50,680 --> 01:19:53,800
Speaker 3: as long as Op's not going. Yeah, definitely not want

1799
01:19:53,800 --> 01:19:54,479
Speaker 3: to there.

1800
01:19:54,600 --> 01:19:57,880
Speaker 1: Why didn't you ask us we made plans without you?

1801
01:19:58,479 --> 01:20:00,599
Speaker 3: You should? I emptied that.

1802
01:20:01,000 --> 01:20:03,320
Speaker 1: Yeah. Megan got a little nasty with me when I

1803
01:20:03,360 --> 01:20:05,080
Speaker 1: was upset. She kept telling me I was in the

1804
01:20:05,120 --> 01:20:07,360
Speaker 1: wrong for feeling left out, but eventually I just let

1805
01:20:07,360 --> 01:20:09,640
Speaker 1: that go. Rachel was much nicer, and I know that

1806
01:20:09,720 --> 01:20:11,760
Speaker 1: she felt really bad. She also brought up that she

1807
01:20:11,840 --> 01:20:14,800
Speaker 1: thinks Megan was using again. Next as my maid of honor,

1808
01:20:14,880 --> 01:20:17,800
Speaker 1: Meghan was appointed to plan the bachelorette chip. She's a

1809
01:20:17,840 --> 01:20:19,960
Speaker 1: type a planning type of person, so she was all

1810
01:20:20,000 --> 01:20:22,439
Speaker 1: about it. I suggested a couple locations and she planned

1811
01:20:22,439 --> 01:20:26,000
Speaker 1: the rest. It was to be the bridal party plus

1812
01:20:26,080 --> 01:20:28,519
Speaker 1: my other really close friend, Kim. I wanted to include

1813
01:20:28,560 --> 01:20:30,679
Speaker 1: some other close friends, but Meghan said we couldn't find

1814
01:20:30,720 --> 01:20:34,040
Speaker 1: a large enough airbnb to be able to include anyone else.

1815
01:20:34,240 --> 01:20:37,559
Speaker 1: We all live a couple hours apart these days. But Meghan, Rachel,

1816
01:20:37,680 --> 01:20:40,120
Speaker 1: Kim and I were going to meet and drive the

1817
01:20:40,120 --> 01:20:43,040
Speaker 1: five hours together to the destination. It's a fun little five.

1818
01:20:42,880 --> 01:20:44,559
Speaker 3: Hour road trip. We love it.

1819
01:20:44,640 --> 01:20:48,240
Speaker 1: Sure nothing bad could possibly happen to these all besties. Yeah,

1820
01:20:48,360 --> 01:20:52,559
Speaker 1: besties for five hours where nothing bad will happen.

1821
01:20:52,880 --> 01:20:54,240
Speaker 3: You can just drive in silence.

1822
01:20:55,120 --> 01:20:57,599
Speaker 1: This was also an exciting part of the planning because

1823
01:20:57,640 --> 01:21:00,479
Speaker 1: Megan and Rachel were going to stay over my place

1824
01:21:00,520 --> 01:21:03,799
Speaker 1: the night before Wednesday to help them break up the drive,

1825
01:21:03,960 --> 01:21:06,280
Speaker 1: so we'd all catch up in our closer group and

1826
01:21:06,320 --> 01:21:09,240
Speaker 1: have a fun night in together come Monday. Rachel says

1827
01:21:09,280 --> 01:21:11,439
Speaker 1: that she's gonna have to work on Wednesday from nine

1828
01:21:11,439 --> 01:21:13,559
Speaker 1: to four and would be too tired to drive the

1829
01:21:13,600 --> 01:21:16,120
Speaker 1: three hours to me afterwards, so she would drive herself

1830
01:21:16,120 --> 01:21:18,599
Speaker 1: to the destination and set instead. I was upset by

1831
01:21:18,640 --> 01:21:20,719
Speaker 1: this change. I was also a bit upset with Kim.

1832
01:21:20,960 --> 01:21:23,439
Speaker 1: She's deciding to not come to the wedding because she

1833
01:21:23,479 --> 01:21:26,240
Speaker 1: wants to attend another bachelorette trip instead. She's not in

1834
01:21:26,320 --> 01:21:29,000
Speaker 1: that bridal party either. Yeah, I'd be upset at that too. Yeah,

1835
01:21:29,280 --> 01:21:31,040
Speaker 1: you have to sound It's like she's just like, yeah,

1836
01:21:31,080 --> 01:21:34,519
Speaker 1: I'm gonna bail on this for just another wedding.

1837
01:21:34,560 --> 01:21:37,800
Speaker 3: I feel this one seems kind of boring. Let's do it.

1838
01:21:37,880 --> 01:21:39,080
Speaker 3: Let's do another one. Yeah.

1839
01:21:39,080 --> 01:21:40,559
Speaker 1: If it's not clear that I don't like you, let

1840
01:21:40,560 --> 01:21:43,760
Speaker 1: me make it perfectly clear. I'm in sailing clear. So

1841
01:21:43,920 --> 01:21:46,280
Speaker 1: it was important to me to also have Megan and

1842
01:21:46,400 --> 01:21:49,799
Speaker 1: Rachel's company for the drive. Tuesday night comes and Megan

1843
01:21:49,840 --> 01:21:52,360
Speaker 1: calls me saying she's going to drive to Rachel and

1844
01:21:52,479 --> 01:21:56,000
Speaker 1: instead drive with her. Rachel did not request this. I

1845
01:21:56,080 --> 01:21:59,320
Speaker 1: understand not wanting to be alone or having someone be alone,

1846
01:21:59,360 --> 01:22:01,400
Speaker 1: but this is a special occasion for me and a

1847
01:22:01,439 --> 01:22:03,680
Speaker 1: special time in my life, and I just wanted to

1848
01:22:03,880 --> 01:22:06,120
Speaker 1: feel chosen and felt special.

1849
01:22:06,840 --> 01:22:08,439
Speaker 3: I mean, especially when you had planned.

1850
01:22:08,600 --> 01:22:12,639
Speaker 1: Yeah this was planned, folks. This made me feel ditched

1851
01:22:12,800 --> 01:22:15,120
Speaker 1: and that they didn't care about the situation between Kim

1852
01:22:15,160 --> 01:22:18,320
Speaker 1: and I, even though they were previously very disappointed in Kim.

1853
01:22:18,520 --> 01:22:20,760
Speaker 1: Megan said she didn't understand why it was a big

1854
01:22:20,800 --> 01:22:23,080
Speaker 1: deal that plans were changing. Kim and I end up

1855
01:22:23,120 --> 01:22:25,320
Speaker 1: having a great drive up. We get to the airbnb

1856
01:22:25,479 --> 01:22:27,479
Speaker 1: last night and I hug everyone, tell them all the

1857
01:22:27,560 --> 01:22:30,200
Speaker 1: decorations look great, et cetera. And the first night we

1858
01:22:30,320 --> 01:22:32,760
Speaker 1: just settled in. Some of them were meeting for the

1859
01:22:32,800 --> 01:22:34,920
Speaker 1: first time. If it helps to paint the picture, only

1860
01:22:35,000 --> 01:22:38,080
Speaker 1: one other is married. There are some serious boyfriends, though,

1861
01:22:38,120 --> 01:22:40,800
Speaker 1: and nobody has kids. We're slower these days, but we're

1862
01:22:40,800 --> 01:22:42,599
Speaker 1: still down to go out and drink and have fun.

1863
01:22:43,040 --> 01:22:44,720
Speaker 1: The next night, we get dressed up and went out

1864
01:22:44,720 --> 01:22:47,120
Speaker 1: to dinner. We decided the next night was going to

1865
01:22:47,200 --> 01:22:49,400
Speaker 1: be the go all out night, so we don't drink

1866
01:22:49,439 --> 01:22:51,120
Speaker 1: all that much and decide to go back to the

1867
01:22:51,160 --> 01:22:54,240
Speaker 1: airbnb and play games instead of staying out at bars.

1868
01:22:54,320 --> 01:22:55,599
Speaker 1: You know, you gotta pace yourself.

1869
01:22:55,720 --> 01:22:58,240
Speaker 3: God pay yourself. You got drink water. This is not

1870
01:22:58,320 --> 01:23:00,880
Speaker 3: the all in night, ladies. Tomorrow night.

1871
01:23:01,720 --> 01:23:04,840
Speaker 1: The next morning, Kim, another bridesmaid, and I were all

1872
01:23:04,880 --> 01:23:07,519
Speaker 1: together chatting, waiting for everyone else to wake up. Megan

1873
01:23:07,560 --> 01:23:10,000
Speaker 1: walks over to us and says she's been barfing all

1874
01:23:10,080 --> 01:23:12,120
Speaker 1: night and needs to go home so she can see

1875
01:23:12,120 --> 01:23:12,679
Speaker 1: a doctor.

1876
01:23:13,000 --> 01:23:15,320
Speaker 3: And of course we know who's gonna go with her.

1877
01:23:15,439 --> 01:23:17,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have a sneaking suspicion.

1878
01:23:17,680 --> 01:23:20,400
Speaker 3: I know who's going with a little bitty suspicion. Yeah.

1879
01:23:20,600 --> 01:23:22,519
Speaker 1: She says that she's been sick for a long time.

1880
01:23:22,680 --> 01:23:24,920
Speaker 1: She mentioned going to urgent care because it's the weekend.

1881
01:23:25,000 --> 01:23:27,840
Speaker 1: She has a history of leaving festivals, vacations, and any

1882
01:23:27,880 --> 01:23:30,679
Speaker 1: multi night gathering thing early, and wants to leave early

1883
01:23:30,720 --> 01:23:33,719
Speaker 1: because she's either not loving the event or because she's sick.

1884
01:23:33,920 --> 01:23:36,439
Speaker 1: I was upset, but remained neutral and said, I hope

1885
01:23:36,439 --> 01:23:38,800
Speaker 1: she feels better knowing she does this. I had hoped

1886
01:23:38,880 --> 01:23:40,760
Speaker 1: and thought she'd be able to make it through my

1887
01:23:40,800 --> 01:23:43,360
Speaker 1: bachelorette weekend. She is my best friend and my maid

1888
01:23:43,400 --> 01:23:46,080
Speaker 1: of honor. Yeah for it, she's been maid of honor.

1889
01:23:46,120 --> 01:23:49,040
Speaker 1: This is your bachelorette weekend. She's dropping out. These maids

1890
01:23:49,080 --> 01:23:54,599
Speaker 1: of honor are honorless, no honor and no Since Rachel

1891
01:23:54,680 --> 01:23:57,439
Speaker 1: drove her, they both swiftly leave. Rachel feels bad for

1892
01:23:57,520 --> 01:24:00,600
Speaker 1: leaving and texts everyone individually with words of when she

1893
01:24:00,640 --> 01:24:02,960
Speaker 1: gets home, but we never hear from Meghan. I text

1894
01:24:03,000 --> 01:24:05,200
Speaker 1: Megan Monday, after I've been home for a day, just

1895
01:24:05,320 --> 01:24:07,479
Speaker 1: asked how she was doing. She didn't go see a doctor.

1896
01:24:07,520 --> 01:24:09,919
Speaker 1: I said I knew seeing a doctor was really important

1897
01:24:09,920 --> 01:24:12,360
Speaker 1: to her, and I was sad that she left. She said,

1898
01:24:12,720 --> 01:24:15,880
Speaker 1: I'm sorry me prioritizing my health made you sad.

1899
01:24:16,240 --> 01:24:18,599
Speaker 3: She literally just thought I was sad. You left. Yeah,

1900
01:24:18,720 --> 01:24:20,720
Speaker 3: it's like bbs bummer that you have to leave now.

1901
01:24:20,720 --> 01:24:22,960
Speaker 1: She'd be like, well, what's your fault that you're sad?

1902
01:24:23,040 --> 01:24:24,920
Speaker 1: Sorry that I have to be healthy. It's like, just

1903
01:24:25,000 --> 01:24:25,879
Speaker 1: be my friend.

1904
01:24:26,160 --> 01:24:26,439
Speaker 3: Come on.

1905
01:24:26,560 --> 01:24:29,160
Speaker 1: Oh, he's just really trying to have a friend and

1906
01:24:29,240 --> 01:24:31,400
Speaker 1: she won't have it. I found that was very defensive

1907
01:24:31,439 --> 01:24:34,640
Speaker 1: for no reason and unhelpful. I replied, that's not what

1908
01:24:34,760 --> 01:24:36,800
Speaker 1: I said. I was hoping she'd check on me and

1909
01:24:36,840 --> 01:24:38,800
Speaker 1: the rest of the trip or something. During the trip.

1910
01:24:38,840 --> 01:24:41,240
Speaker 1: She was also getting upset when other people knew more

1911
01:24:41,280 --> 01:24:43,640
Speaker 1: about me than her and if someone else took the

1912
01:24:43,720 --> 01:24:46,160
Speaker 1: lead on things like getting us to the next destination.

1913
01:24:46,439 --> 01:24:49,800
Speaker 3: So she's being possessive but also doesn't even want to

1914
01:24:49,800 --> 01:24:50,200
Speaker 3: be there.

1915
01:24:50,560 --> 01:24:52,440
Speaker 1: Distant and possessive.

1916
01:24:52,760 --> 01:24:53,200
Speaker 3: Interesting.

1917
01:24:53,680 --> 01:24:57,160
Speaker 1: She also got upset over money and was vocal about it.

1918
01:24:57,240 --> 01:24:59,519
Speaker 1: But she planned the trip, so that really confuses me.

1919
01:24:59,600 --> 01:25:01,280
Speaker 1: So we did didn't talk for a couple of weeks.

1920
01:25:01,360 --> 01:25:03,439
Speaker 1: She told Rachel she was upset with me because I

1921
01:25:03,439 --> 01:25:06,479
Speaker 1: didn't appreciate her enough for the trip. Multiple times I

1922
01:25:06,560 --> 01:25:09,800
Speaker 1: had hugged her, said thank you taking pictures with just her,

1923
01:25:09,880 --> 01:25:12,760
Speaker 1: and noted quote, that was a great thing that you

1924
01:25:12,880 --> 01:25:14,559
Speaker 1: planned good pick. Thank you.

1925
01:25:14,760 --> 01:25:16,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, so it sounds like, oh p, he's trying to

1926
01:25:16,800 --> 01:25:20,680
Speaker 3: be like, hey, I really appreciate everything you did for me.

1927
01:25:20,720 --> 01:25:21,880
Speaker 3: I just was checking in.

1928
01:25:22,080 --> 01:25:25,599
Speaker 1: Yeah, Op's just trying really hard to keep the trifecta alive.

1929
01:25:25,720 --> 01:25:27,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, trying to keep the trio together.

1930
01:25:28,520 --> 01:25:30,760
Speaker 1: Megan is not having it. No head counts are due

1931
01:25:30,800 --> 01:25:33,719
Speaker 1: for the venue and the hotel. If blocked rooms aren't used,

1932
01:25:33,720 --> 01:25:35,960
Speaker 1: we have to pay for them, so we want to reallocate.

1933
01:25:36,000 --> 01:25:38,400
Speaker 1: If we still can't. I text her in a friendly manner,

1934
01:25:38,439 --> 01:25:40,559
Speaker 1: just to check in and confirm her and her boyfriend

1935
01:25:40,560 --> 01:25:43,000
Speaker 1: are coming for rehearsal wedding and staying in the hotel.

1936
01:25:43,240 --> 01:25:46,320
Speaker 1: No response, So the next day I ask if everything's okay,

1937
01:25:46,560 --> 01:25:48,800
Speaker 1: and the next day I call her. A week goes

1938
01:25:48,840 --> 01:25:51,839
Speaker 1: by and still no response. I know she's lightly responding

1939
01:25:51,880 --> 01:25:54,479
Speaker 1: to Rachel during this time. My wedding is weeks away,

1940
01:25:54,560 --> 01:25:57,240
Speaker 1: so I asked you somebody else, huh, and she's the

1941
01:25:57,280 --> 01:26:02,120
Speaker 1: maid of honor. Yeah, exactly. It's like you're you're astart.

1942
01:26:00,960 --> 01:26:03,240
Speaker 3: Of this event, of this event. You can't just like

1943
01:26:03,479 --> 01:26:04,400
Speaker 3: you can't just dam not.

1944
01:26:04,680 --> 01:26:06,920
Speaker 1: You can't just go complete radio silence.

1945
01:26:07,080 --> 01:26:09,000
Speaker 3: Especially when she's texting Rachel.

1946
01:26:09,040 --> 01:26:13,240
Speaker 1: Lightly, lightly, lightly texting Rachel, Rachel sending memes and she's

1947
01:26:13,240 --> 01:26:17,599
Speaker 1: thumbing those. Yeah, just giving just thumbs up. My wedding

1948
01:26:17,640 --> 01:26:20,080
Speaker 1: is weeks away, so I ask someone if they want

1949
01:26:20,120 --> 01:26:22,439
Speaker 1: her room, but I include Megan in the head counts

1950
01:26:22,439 --> 01:26:25,040
Speaker 1: for the venue. Still, Rachel group texts us asking us

1951
01:26:25,080 --> 01:26:28,040
Speaker 1: to make up. I say, I've reached out to her

1952
01:26:28,160 --> 01:26:30,519
Speaker 1: and I'm confused and I want her to be part

1953
01:26:30,520 --> 01:26:32,599
Speaker 1: of everything, but at this point, she can reach out

1954
01:26:32,640 --> 01:26:34,559
Speaker 1: to me if there's anything that she wants to resolve.

1955
01:26:34,600 --> 01:26:37,000
Speaker 1: That is a perfectly RESTful response to that.

1956
01:26:37,680 --> 01:26:39,240
Speaker 3: So many times she's like.

1957
01:26:39,240 --> 01:26:43,240
Speaker 1: I'm literally not even upset. I just want her to

1958
01:26:43,240 --> 01:26:44,680
Speaker 1: tell me directly what's going on.

1959
01:26:44,880 --> 01:26:45,400
Speaker 3: This sucks.

1960
01:26:45,600 --> 01:26:48,880
Speaker 1: She immediately responds, agrees and says she hasn't been honest

1961
01:26:48,880 --> 01:26:51,360
Speaker 1: with us. Then she privately texts me and asks to

1962
01:26:51,400 --> 01:26:53,479
Speaker 1: schedule a call so she can explain things. We have

1963
01:26:53,479 --> 01:26:56,040
Speaker 1: a pretty short call. She admits that she was using

1964
01:26:56,120 --> 01:26:59,439
Speaker 1: for two months, which overlaps with the Batchelorette trip, and

1965
01:26:59,479 --> 01:27:01,760
Speaker 1: has been so for two weeks. She says she caught

1966
01:27:01,800 --> 01:27:03,639
Speaker 1: it in time and didn't need to go to treatment,

1967
01:27:03,720 --> 01:27:06,160
Speaker 1: nor tell her boyfriend nor her sister, who she lives

1968
01:27:06,200 --> 01:27:09,280
Speaker 1: with with sister's husband and young child. I can't imagine

1969
01:27:09,280 --> 01:27:12,280
Speaker 1: this is a successful sobriety attempt. She says her boyfriend

1970
01:27:12,360 --> 01:27:14,040
Speaker 1: broke up with her because she hung out with her

1971
01:27:14,240 --> 01:27:18,240
Speaker 1: extremely toxic X via text. I ask her how she

1972
01:27:18,280 --> 01:27:20,439
Speaker 1: plans to heal if she's going to start therapy, because

1973
01:27:20,439 --> 01:27:22,240
Speaker 1: she's been talking about it for over a year, and

1974
01:27:22,280 --> 01:27:24,799
Speaker 1: she keeps deflecting half of those details that she shares.

1975
01:27:24,880 --> 01:27:27,439
Speaker 1: Because I ask, she really didn't seem like she was

1976
01:27:27,439 --> 01:27:30,360
Speaker 1: trying to talk about anything much. She also seemed annoyed

1977
01:27:30,360 --> 01:27:32,800
Speaker 1: when I asked questions. To be fair, I could have

1978
01:27:32,880 --> 01:27:35,800
Speaker 1: been more supportive, but she never takes any accountability, and

1979
01:27:35,840 --> 01:27:37,679
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm enabling her if I don't stick

1980
01:27:37,760 --> 01:27:40,479
Speaker 1: up for myself. But I also understand that my questions

1981
01:27:40,520 --> 01:27:42,800
Speaker 1: came from a place of frustration and it's probably not

1982
01:27:42,920 --> 01:27:45,240
Speaker 1: up to me to make her accountable. I'm being calm

1983
01:27:45,280 --> 01:27:47,439
Speaker 1: the entire time. She says, that's all I wanted to

1984
01:27:47,479 --> 01:27:49,560
Speaker 1: tell you. I said, I thought there was going to

1985
01:27:49,600 --> 01:27:52,559
Speaker 1: be a little more based on her text about explaining things,

1986
01:27:52,680 --> 01:27:54,920
Speaker 1: talking about the bachelorette trip or if she's upset with me,

1987
01:27:55,000 --> 01:27:57,320
Speaker 1: and she said no, that was it, so I said, Okay, well,

1988
01:27:57,360 --> 01:27:58,880
Speaker 1: I want the best for you, and I hope that

1989
01:27:58,920 --> 01:28:01,240
Speaker 1: you're doing better and can continue to heal. But I

1990
01:28:01,280 --> 01:28:03,120
Speaker 1: want you to know this friendship has been hard on

1991
01:28:03,200 --> 01:28:05,479
Speaker 1: me lately. I have to make some decisions for myself

1992
01:28:05,560 --> 01:28:07,679
Speaker 1: right now too, and I want to be around people

1993
01:28:07,680 --> 01:28:09,920
Speaker 1: who can uplift me and support me. I wanted to

1994
01:28:09,920 --> 01:28:12,679
Speaker 1: get to wedding things, but about her if she planned

1995
01:28:12,680 --> 01:28:15,920
Speaker 1: on coming, et cetera. She laughed and hung up. I

1996
01:28:16,000 --> 01:28:18,440
Speaker 1: called her back twice and she sent me to voicemail

1997
01:28:18,600 --> 01:28:19,040
Speaker 1: so hard.

1998
01:28:19,560 --> 01:28:22,120
Speaker 3: It's like, I know, she obviously is going through her

1999
01:28:22,160 --> 01:28:23,800
Speaker 3: own stuff right now.

2000
01:28:24,000 --> 01:28:26,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, it seems like she's an inactive episode of like

2001
01:28:27,000 --> 01:28:27,519
Speaker 1: es addiction.

2002
01:28:27,960 --> 01:28:32,280
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, spiraling a little bit, not wanting to tell

2003
01:28:32,280 --> 01:28:35,040
Speaker 3: the people around her fairly, even wanting to tell Op.

2004
01:28:35,479 --> 01:28:38,400
Speaker 1: And then Op's like, yeah, I just want to support you,

2005
01:28:38,439 --> 01:28:39,880
Speaker 1: and like I just want to talk about this souf.

2006
01:28:39,960 --> 01:28:43,680
Speaker 1: She's like huh click, goodbye, yeah, laugh and hung up.

2007
01:28:43,800 --> 01:28:45,599
Speaker 1: I think that is active addiction, babe.

2008
01:28:45,680 --> 01:28:47,559
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think it's just saying, like, you know what,

2009
01:28:47,760 --> 01:28:49,320
Speaker 3: I don't think you can be my man of honor

2010
01:28:49,320 --> 01:28:51,760
Speaker 3: because clearly you have a lot going on. If you

2011
01:28:51,800 --> 01:28:53,360
Speaker 3: come to the wedding. You come to the wedding.

2012
01:28:53,400 --> 01:28:55,639
Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah, by the way, you can join us

2013
01:28:55,680 --> 01:28:58,479
Speaker 1: live on YouTube every week day at three pm PST.

2014
01:28:58,840 --> 01:29:01,679
Speaker 1: Just tap on our profile. So in the past month,

2015
01:29:01,680 --> 01:29:04,439
Speaker 1: when I've reached out, she's either been defensive, ignored me,

2016
01:29:04,800 --> 01:29:07,000
Speaker 1: or laughs and hangs up on me. I honestly don't

2017
01:29:07,040 --> 01:29:09,000
Speaker 1: know what her goal of the call was, but based

2018
01:29:09,040 --> 01:29:11,639
Speaker 1: on those last attempts, I'd feel like I'm begging her

2019
01:29:11,680 --> 01:29:13,880
Speaker 1: to be my friend and that I have to baby

2020
01:29:13,920 --> 01:29:15,800
Speaker 1: her to get her to be my friend. What else

2021
01:29:15,800 --> 01:29:17,320
Speaker 1: am I supposed to do here? I know I can

2022
01:29:17,360 --> 01:29:20,240
Speaker 1: be more supportive of her and try to understand addiction more,

2023
01:29:20,280 --> 01:29:22,280
Speaker 1: but my wedding is two weeks away, and I don't

2024
01:29:22,280 --> 01:29:24,400
Speaker 1: feel like I can hold space for someone who keeps

2025
01:29:24,439 --> 01:29:27,080
Speaker 1: rejecting me, whether it's personal or not. I really just

2026
01:29:27,080 --> 01:29:29,200
Speaker 1: want to be happy and feel a little special during

2027
01:29:29,200 --> 01:29:31,400
Speaker 1: this time in my life. Rachel says I should text

2028
01:29:31,439 --> 01:29:33,240
Speaker 1: her something like how can I be there for you

2029
01:29:33,320 --> 01:29:35,800
Speaker 1: right now? But the more I try or think about it,

2030
01:29:35,880 --> 01:29:38,439
Speaker 1: all the worse I start to feel about myself. So

2031
01:29:38,600 --> 01:29:40,760
Speaker 1: am I the a hole? If I don't reach out

2032
01:29:40,760 --> 01:29:43,799
Speaker 1: to Megan and we do have an update, dam I don't.

2033
01:29:43,680 --> 01:29:44,880
Speaker 3: Think you'd be the a hole, OPI.

2034
01:29:45,080 --> 01:29:47,160
Speaker 1: I mean, we all have close friends and when they

2035
01:29:47,160 --> 01:29:48,439
Speaker 1: go through stuff, we want to be able to be

2036
01:29:48,479 --> 01:29:48,960
Speaker 1: there for them.

2037
01:29:49,000 --> 01:29:51,599
Speaker 3: But there's only so much you can do without it

2038
01:29:51,680 --> 01:29:52,639
Speaker 3: a hurting yourself.

2039
01:29:52,840 --> 01:29:56,000
Speaker 1: So here's the update. She's in town for the weekend. Friday,

2040
01:29:56,000 --> 01:29:57,799
Speaker 1: she asked if I wanted to meet for a drink.

2041
01:29:58,040 --> 01:30:00,240
Speaker 1: I went. I told her, I think I'm making her

2042
01:30:00,240 --> 01:30:02,840
Speaker 1: feel worse and she's also making me feel worse. I

2043
01:30:02,880 --> 01:30:04,840
Speaker 1: told her, with what each of us have going on,

2044
01:30:04,960 --> 01:30:06,920
Speaker 1: we can't be there to support each other right now,

2045
01:30:06,960 --> 01:30:09,559
Speaker 1: and she said that she can understand how I'd think

2046
01:30:09,800 --> 01:30:12,599
Speaker 1: I'm the third wheel and knows if she communicated more,

2047
01:30:12,840 --> 01:30:15,040
Speaker 1: things would be different right now. At this point, I

2048
01:30:15,120 --> 01:30:17,559
Speaker 1: really assumed that she wasn't coming to the wedding, but

2049
01:30:17,680 --> 01:30:20,240
Speaker 1: she brought up her speech, so she still thought she

2050
01:30:20,360 --> 01:30:22,400
Speaker 1: was coming as the maid of honor. I told her

2051
01:30:22,439 --> 01:30:25,160
Speaker 1: that she's not speaking and she started bawling.

2052
01:30:25,400 --> 01:30:27,360
Speaker 3: I mean, nope, we tried so many times.

2053
01:30:27,160 --> 01:30:29,479
Speaker 1: To reach out to her. She thinks she was only

2054
01:30:29,520 --> 01:30:32,519
Speaker 1: not present for three weeks and doesn't think this is valid,

2055
01:30:32,760 --> 01:30:35,439
Speaker 1: nor the thought that I didn't think she was coming

2056
01:30:35,560 --> 01:30:38,120
Speaker 1: she's really sorry and saying she loves me and our

2057
01:30:38,120 --> 01:30:40,479
Speaker 1: friendship is better than this. I'm at a loss.

2058
01:30:41,240 --> 01:30:42,760
Speaker 3: Oh and that is the end