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Speaker 1: My wife accused me of cheating on her, so I'm

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Speaker 1: getting a divorce.

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Speaker 2: Well did you me?

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Speaker 1: Forty four male? My wife Grace forty two female? Fake

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Speaker 1: names for obvious reasons are have been married for thirteen years,

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Speaker 1: together for sixteen. By the way, this comes from Okay

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Speaker 1: Cartoonists five two two zero on the r slash Okay storytimes.

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Speaker 1: I read it so quick. Backstory. I met Grace about

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Speaker 1: the time I got out of the military. I was

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Speaker 1: a medical discharge. I met her while I was at

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Speaker 1: the hospital for surgery. She was a nurse on the floor.

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Speaker 1: I was staying on single mom divorced for a couple

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Speaker 1: of years. I left the military, went back to school,

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Speaker 1: and now I work from home as a software engineer.

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Speaker 1: More or less, we started dating. Took it slow the

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Speaker 1: first couple of years because of her daughter, Maya, who

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Speaker 1: was five at the time. Grace is still a nurse

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Speaker 1: and Maya goes to college. I would have said until

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Speaker 1: last month that our marriage was pretty solid. We've had arguments.

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Speaker 1: I admit I was kind of crap at housekeeping when

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Speaker 1: we first move in together because I was not used

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Speaker 1: to how much kids tear things up around the house.

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Speaker 1: But other than that it was good, no step parent issues.

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Speaker 1: I had an active role in Maya's life because her

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Speaker 1: own father lives overseas for work. We went on dates.

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Speaker 1: Intimacy has always been great. We wanted kids, but it

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Speaker 1: wasn't in the cards for us. Honestly, I'm a bit blindsided.

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Speaker 1: I've had friends who were blindsided by divorce, but I

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Speaker 1: never understood how usually there were problems that they glossed over,

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Speaker 1: and then suddenly their wives would leave them and they

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Speaker 1: just didn't see it coming, but the rest of us

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Speaker 1: could see it coming from a mile away. So here

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Speaker 1: I am saying the same thing, and maybe I just

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Speaker 1: missed something huge. The past few months, Grace has been

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Speaker 1: more stressed than usual. Ever since COVID. She's been burnt out,

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Speaker 1: and I asked her multiple times if she wanted to

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Speaker 1: quit her job at least for a couple of years.

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Speaker 1: A couple of years. I thought the burnout was coming

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Speaker 1: to a head. She was withdrawn, angry, she snapped at

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Speaker 1: me constantly. She ridiculed Maya over everything. But she's my wife.

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Speaker 1: She was traumatized by the pandemic, and both Maya and

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Speaker 1: I were understanding, Yeah, because she's a healthcare professional. So

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Speaker 1: that would be that's like the arnest job to do

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Speaker 1: during the pandemic.

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Speaker 2: Opis is op's is. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so she wass pariensing a lot of burning out. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that makes sense. We would do okay with just my salary.

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Speaker 1: So last month I sat her down to suggest again

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Speaker 1: that she quit and takes some time off to heal.

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Speaker 1: Then everything blew up. She started yelling at me that

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Speaker 1: she knew what I was doing. She's known for months,

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Speaker 1: she has proof. I didn't know what she was talking

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Speaker 1: about at first, but it didn't take long to realize

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Speaker 1: she was accusing me of infidelity. I can't lie. I

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Speaker 1: was angry as hell. I opened my phone, handed it

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Speaker 1: to her, told her to go through it. I went

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Speaker 1: and got my laptop and unlocked it, told her to

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Speaker 1: go through that. The whole time, she's still shouting at

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Speaker 1: me about some other woman. I don't have traditional social media.

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Speaker 1: The accounts I'm on lobsters, hacker News, and I have

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Speaker 1: a read account. I told her to check everything. There's

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Speaker 1: no secret Facebook or Instagram or whatever, no messages from anyone.

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Speaker 1: I opened Discord, even Slack, everything I could think of,

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Speaker 1: but she wouldn't even look at it. That's so annoying.

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Speaker 1: She just got she just got angrier and angrier, and

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Speaker 1: then she picked up my laptop and threw it. That's

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Speaker 1: when I had enough and left. Where is she getting

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Speaker 1: this from? I went to my parents' house. All the

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Speaker 1: while Grace was texting and calling and leaving more and

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Speaker 1: more unhinged messages about this woman she knows I'm with.

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Speaker 1: When I got to my parents' house, I called her

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Speaker 1: once and told her I needed a few days because

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Speaker 1: I was too angry to handle talking to her. My

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Speaker 1: sister called the next morning and told her Grace had

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Speaker 1: called her multiple times as well to see if I

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Speaker 1: was really there. After a few days, I called Grace

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Speaker 1: to talk, and at first the conversation was productive. She

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Speaker 1: apologized for throwing the laptop, but she said I made

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Speaker 1: her so angry because I was being so calm. Opie

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Speaker 1: was just not screaming, and she was like.

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Speaker 2: Ah, if anything, I feel like the classic response we

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Speaker 2: see is like like they freak out and it's like, oh,

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Speaker 2: if you're calm, I feel like it's more of an

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Speaker 2: indicators like hey, I have nothing to hide.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like what's going on? Just he was probably confused,

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Speaker 1: of course, confused yeah, yeah, like, that's probably where the like,

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Speaker 1: I don't even understand what you're doing.

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Speaker 2: What are you?

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Speaker 1: What are you thinking?

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Speaker 2: I think I see in I see you in that.

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Speaker 1: You think you think a little bit of projection.

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Speaker 2: I think an exact amount of projection is what I

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Speaker 2: am seeing you. You can't fire me, I quit.

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Speaker 1: I think that's where you're ageing. I think she's super

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Speaker 1: angry because she's trying to point the finger somewhere else.

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Speaker 3: She needs to go to the school of manipulation taught

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Speaker 3: by Sophie.

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Speaker 2: That's correct. She would have manipulated him.

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Speaker 1: She should have been playing Shissa this old time. She

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Speaker 1: was playing sure rade.

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Speaker 2: It is.

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Speaker 1: I told her I was not calm because I was

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Speaker 1: being accused of cheating on my wife and I was furious.

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Speaker 1: But it was either trying to talk it out or

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Speaker 1: start shouting, which I didn't think was a good idea.

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Speaker 1: Then she got angry, told me I was twisting her words,

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Speaker 1: and things fell apart quickly. She started going on and

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Speaker 1: on again that she knew I was cheating. She had proof.

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Speaker 1: I asked her what proof, because I would like to

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Speaker 1: see it. I don't remember how we got there, but

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Speaker 1: she said that she was going to send everything to

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Speaker 1: the lawyer, and I said, fine, send a copy to

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Speaker 1: mine because this was going nowhere. She got really quiet

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Speaker 1: after that and asked if I was serious, and I

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Speaker 1: said I wasn't going to stay in a marriage where

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Speaker 1: my wife thinks I'd cheated on her but won't tell

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Speaker 1: me why. We ended the call there, and I've been

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Speaker 1: at my parentarent's house since my dad is on my side.

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Speaker 1: My mom thinks Grace is just having a rough time

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Speaker 1: and that we can talk this through. My sister is

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Speaker 1: pissed she got dragged into it, so she thinks that

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Speaker 1: we're both the a holes, and Maya is miserable because

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Speaker 1: she's being torn between me and her mom. I feel

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Speaker 1: like maybe I jumped the gun and should have stayed calmer,

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Speaker 1: and there is there isn't edit, but I think that

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Speaker 1: it's kind of really ridiculous that the wife was like,

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Speaker 1: we're you know, we're gonna have talk to lawyers. What

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Speaker 1: is his over? And OP was like, okay, let's talk

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Speaker 1: to talk to lawyers, and then she was like wee,

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Speaker 1: what do you mean we're going to talk to lawyers? Lawyers?

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Speaker 2: Like yeah, didn't you literally just say you wanted to.

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Speaker 1: Talk like, didn't you just imply that you wanted a divorce?

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Speaker 3: I was just gonna say too, whether she's cheating or not. Great, mom,

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Speaker 3: that's what you're thinking.

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Speaker 2: I think. I think yes, Well, and.

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Speaker 1: Then I have a second poll and a question for you, divorce, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think so. Do we call her bluff the way

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Speaker 2: Opie said, which kind of like calmly, uh, emphasize the

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Speaker 2: ridiculousness of the situation, which is, hey, if you want

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Speaker 2: to accuse me of this cheating, which I'm happy to

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Speaker 2: calmly sit down, and and.

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Speaker 1: He really showed her everything, showed.

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Speaker 2: Her everything, like, hey, look all the evidence you say

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Speaker 2: you have. I'm here to to sit down, come to

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Speaker 2: the table and talk about it. If you want to

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Speaker 2: just keep refusing, yeah great, I just don't want to

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Speaker 2: be in that relationship. Yeah, and if that continues, like

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Speaker 2: you can give her, give her, give her some time, like, hey,

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Speaker 2: I'm here, but not forever. So if you if you

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Speaker 2: want to, like, let's.

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to talk to you unless you are

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Speaker 1: willing to actually have an adult conversation and once.

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Speaker 2: We get there, then we can building.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. But I think that right now she's not even

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Speaker 1: giving him that so like, right now, it's divorced, but

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Speaker 1: if she eventually comes around, and.

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Speaker 3: Have you all seen the movie, she's just not that

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Speaker 3: into you or he's just nothing.

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Speaker 1: No, but I've seen clips.

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Speaker 2: And I can infer from the title where you're going

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Speaker 2: about take us, take us Home, Anthony.

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Speaker 3: It's kind of like a love actually multiple plot line situations,

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Speaker 3: but one of them he cheats on his wife. But

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Speaker 3: then when she finds out, he's like, well, don't you

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Speaker 3: want to leave me? And she's like, no, We're going

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Speaker 3: to stick it out. But I think in his reaction

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Speaker 3: he was like, well, maybe I don't actually want to

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Speaker 3: be here, Like he was kind of hoping right that

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Speaker 3: she would be like, well, that's it, we're done. But

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Speaker 3: she wanted to stick it out, and he was like, ooh,

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Speaker 3: maybe that isn't what.

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Speaker 2: I want to know.

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Speaker 1: She's like he checked out. I mean, cheating is like

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Speaker 1: you're checking out of the relationship. My morning meeting are

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Speaker 1: finally over and I need to concentrate on my job,

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Speaker 1: so I'm going to be logging out for the day.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to talk to my mom to see if

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Speaker 1: she'll talk to Grace suggests therapy couples therapy etc. I

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Speaker 1: believe those of you who suggested missing reasons are correct.

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Speaker 1: Something is causing this. I just don't know if it's

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Speaker 1: something I've done stress in her life, or if it's

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Speaker 1: full on projection. I don't think it is, but you

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Speaker 1: never know. I'll assure Maya again that she is a

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Speaker 1: place here no matter what. As far as I'm concerned,

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Speaker 1: she's my daughter, and of course she's got a place

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Speaker 1: here if she needs it. However, I also won't try

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Speaker 1: to pressure her, considering that that's her mom and I

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Speaker 1: know this is pulling her in two ways, and there

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Speaker 1: is a second at it. You finished this off, okay,

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Speaker 1: So I took a quick break and thought i'd come

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Speaker 1: back and read a couple comments. Number One, someone asked

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Speaker 1: if I was cheating. I understand why you would ask that.

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Speaker 1: I never came out and said in the post. But

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Speaker 1: let me assure you, no, I'm not cheating. I never have. Granted,

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Speaker 1: those are just words, and I'm sure some of you

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Speaker 1: will think I'm lying, but I love my wife. I've

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Speaker 1: never wanted to cheat. I'm not a saint. I've been

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Speaker 1: attracted to people. I think Salma Hayek is a gorgeous,

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Speaker 1: but the thought of cheating has never crossed my mind.

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Speaker 1: Number Two, A lot of people think she's cheating on me. Again,

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Speaker 1: I don't think so. She's home every night at the

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Speaker 1: same time, she doesn't hide away her devices. Could there

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Speaker 1: be someone at work? Yes? Do I think she's cheating? No,

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Speaker 1: But as many pointed out, those are famous last words.

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Speaker 1: Number three talking about divorce, slash day and calm. I

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Speaker 1: have PTSD. I've worked a lot in therapy over the

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Speaker 1: years to process intense emotions. Also, I think it will

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Speaker 1: be was medically discharged from the army in the military. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's why I stay calm, not because I am, but

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Speaker 1: because if I don't, then I get overwhelmed. The talk

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Speaker 1: to my lawyer comment was one of those moments I

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Speaker 1: didn't process. Well, I don't. I think it's a good

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Speaker 1: idea to divorce her after over a decade together because

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Speaker 1: of this past month. On the other hand, I know

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Speaker 1: that because it's not a safe place for me mentally,

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Speaker 1: I'll stay at my parents until we could get this resolved. Four.

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Speaker 1: Could it be hormones. Yes, it could. However, my wife

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Speaker 1: is already taking hormones because of a medical procedure she

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Speaker 1: had when she was in her thirties. Like I said,

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Speaker 1: it wasn't in the cards to have kids. She asked

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Speaker 1: to see the doctor, usually every six months to check

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Speaker 1: her levels. Her last appointment was in March. However, her

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Speaker 1: mood changes started before that. Number five, mental health issues.

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Speaker 1: This is what I think it is personally. Like I said,

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Speaker 1: Grace has been building up to a burnout for a

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Speaker 1: while now. These mood changes started a while ago. It's

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Speaker 1: why I brought up taking time off work. It's why

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Speaker 1: I brought it up again last month when she blew

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Speaker 1: up at me. I think this is stress. It's why

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Speaker 1: I haven't actually contacted a lawyer because I hope my

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Speaker 1: marriage can be saved. I think I just wanted reassure

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Speaker 1: from a neutral third party because I'm so far out

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Speaker 1: of my depth here. Number six. There's a lot of these.

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Speaker 1: To those who say, don't get my mom involved, my

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Speaker 1: mom already is. She and Grace are incredibly close. She's

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Speaker 1: called Grace every day to check on her. Grace's no

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Speaker 1: contact with her own family, So I'm not really involving

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Speaker 1: mom as much as I'm just asking her to suggest

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Speaker 1: marriage counseling to her the next time she calls. I

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Speaker 1: sure as Helle. Don't want to get some other party

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Speaker 1: involved in this, so I'm not going to contact a

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Speaker 1: friend to talk to my wife. Number seven, there's one

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Speaker 1: more after this. Yes, I haven't been no contact with

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Speaker 1: my wife since I left. I probably should have clarified that.

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Speaker 1: She messages me. Sometimes it's the same silly stuff we've

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Speaker 1: always talked about, like random memes she found. They're like

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Speaker 1: maybe divorcing, and she's like, look at this meme.

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Speaker 2: I vas ye.

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Speaker 1: And sometimes it's her begging me to just tell her

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Speaker 1: the truth. I'm exhausted mentally from this all, and at

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Speaker 1: the end of my rope, I've suggested therapy a couple

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Speaker 1: of times already, but that's gotten nowhere. Hopefully mom bringing

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Speaker 1: up might help. And eight why the throwaway because my

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Speaker 1: coworkers also up read accounts and I don't want them

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Speaker 1: to see this post. They might, but hopefully this is

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Speaker 1: not really relevant and I think that's everything I want

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Speaker 1: to add, though, please don't disparage my wife. I'm upset

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Speaker 1: over this because my wife is a great woman. She's smart,

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Speaker 1: she's funny, she's sweet. She's been a wonderful mother, and

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Speaker 1: that's why I've been worried the past few months about

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Speaker 1: her because this is so out of character.

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Speaker 3: This is just kind of a sad one. Yeah, because

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Speaker 3: they've been there for fifteen years. There's no real end

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Speaker 3: in sight, it seems.

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Speaker 1: No the fact that she's still reaching out to him,

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Speaker 1: so she's setting memes, and then it's also like tell

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Speaker 1: me the truth, tell me the truth. Yeah, and it's

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Speaker 1: so frustrating to have told the truth and for someone

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Speaker 1: to still be like you're a witch.

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Speaker 2: Something major is going on. It could be a mental

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Speaker 2: health issue, it could be something that she did and

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Speaker 2: she's now for job something something I think is happening here.

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Speaker 2: She's not being forthcoming. And if I wasn't already on

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Speaker 2: op side in the beginning, I think as it went

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Speaker 2: on when he was like I offered her daughter a place,

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Speaker 2: a place to stay, Like, hey, you can say long

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Speaker 2: he's doing as much I know, yeah, uh. Him talking

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Speaker 2: about the work that he's done in therapy, He's like, hey,

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Speaker 2: I understand that I need to stay home these situations.

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Speaker 2: Has obviously done a lot of work in therapy and

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Speaker 2: like on his own emotions, So like I I think

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Speaker 2: Op has been super level headed and super fair the

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Speaker 2: entire way through and.

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Speaker 1: Even just about how they speak about Yes, how he

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Speaker 1: speaks about his wife. It's so like, I'm just worried

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Speaker 1: about her. I just don't know what's going on. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to divorce her. That just kind of came

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Speaker 1: out because she was saying it, and it's all out

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Speaker 1: of love, yes, which is so sad.

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Speaker 2: He could he could even say like she's being so frustrated,

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Speaker 2: I'm so angry at her, and that wouldn't even necessarily

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Speaker 2: I think beat incorrect per se. But he is instead

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Speaker 2: choosing to say she's been a wonderful mother. She's been

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Speaker 2: fifteen fifteen years, So yeah, I think I think something. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: something's going on here. Let us know in the comments

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Speaker 2: if you think you might know. I am. I'm not

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Speaker 2: a loss as we do.

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Speaker 1: Know that she has a hormone in bounds, yes, that

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Speaker 1: she's going to so maybe there's something there. I'm not

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Speaker 1: a medical professional, but you know what, I know what.

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Speaker 1: We've got another story WHOA let's way I can read it.

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Speaker 2: My fiance wants to expose my ex wife on social media.

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Speaker 2: I pleaded with her not to the ex wife. Thirty

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Speaker 2: four female sent an email to me, thirty four male,

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Speaker 2: pleading me not to marry my current fiance twenty seven

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Speaker 2: female See my fiance wants to share the letter on

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Speaker 2: her social media to expose my ex wife. But I

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Speaker 2: feel that she should be the bigger, poor person and

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Speaker 2: ignore her. But the bigger person who wrote the story

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Speaker 2: is tw letter x wife two three one two three

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Speaker 2: two three one that was submitted on our slash tekey

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Speaker 2: story time. Let's freaking go.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Immediate thought, don't expose her? Why are you starting drama?

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Speaker 1: You won girl, you got op?

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Speaker 2: Yeah. My ex wife, Lily and I started dating in college.

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Speaker 2: When we were together for almost ten years and married

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Speaker 2: for four. Wow. I thought we had a perfect relationship. However,

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Speaker 2: six years ago Lily sat me down. Thought Lily sat

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Speaker 2: me down and told me she was feeling unhappy with

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Speaker 2: our marriage and felt like she missed out on a

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Speaker 2: lot of fun things in life because we got married

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Speaker 2: early and spent all our effort on career in our finances.

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Speaker 2: We are both lawyers and spent a ton of time

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Speaker 2: on our law school, bar exam, et cetera, and we

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Speaker 2: both got really high paying jobs. She felt that she

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Speaker 2: never got to live an independent life and find herself.

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Speaker 2: I was heartbroken as I did not know life without her.

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Speaker 4: Oh.

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Speaker 2: We went through a lot of stress during our marriage

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Speaker 2: and I could see her side. We split amicably and

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Speaker 2: got a divorce as soon and got a divorce soon

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Speaker 2: as we did not have any assets or kids to

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Speaker 2: worry about. Everything went okay for the first few months. However,

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Speaker 2: Lily started getting panic attacks and went into a depression

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Speaker 2: after she started living alone. I still cared about her

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Speaker 2: and helped her during this time. She was diagnosed with

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Speaker 2: borderline personality disorder. Yes, thank you. She was diagnosed with

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Speaker 2: borderline personality disorder BPD and has been in therapy since.

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Speaker 2: We stayed friends as a transition was difficult for both

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Speaker 2: of us. However, I tried to move on from her

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Speaker 2: by going on dates. Lily and I stayed good friends

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Speaker 2: for almost one year after our divorce. She asked me

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Speaker 2: a few times if we should try to work on

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Speaker 2: our marriage, but I moved on and told her we

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Speaker 2: are better off as friends than as a couple.

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Speaker 1: O niamhm. So she like she kind of had a

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Speaker 1: breakdown a bit and then came back to him.

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Speaker 2: Was like, ah, sorry, she broke up with him and

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Speaker 2: was like started going through some stuff and then came

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Speaker 2: back to him like, hey, maybe we could try to

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Speaker 2: work it out. Sorry, and it's like, hey, you kind

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Speaker 2: of like left me, so I need to kind of

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Speaker 2: move on and rebuild myself.

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Speaker 1: He's like, oh, we already went through this, especially after

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Speaker 1: which I think is what he should have done and

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Speaker 1: what he did do help her through the hard time

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Speaker 1: that she had.

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Speaker 2: Foreseen, because that's what he was supposed to do. Totally. Now.

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Speaker 2: I met Mela at our running club and we really

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Speaker 2: hit it off, you could say, hit the ground running.

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Speaker 1: Look at this guy. He thinks he's got jokes.

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Speaker 2: Mela was much younger than me, but really matched my energy,

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Speaker 2: and we started dating seriously. Soon after, Mela expressed that

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Speaker 2: she found it uncomfortable that Lily was such a big

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Speaker 2: part of my life. I also felt I wanted to

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Speaker 2: all of my energy into a relationship with Mila, and

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Speaker 2: I told Lily that I would be distancing myself from her.

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Speaker 2: Lily reluctantly agreed, and we stopped texting each other daily,

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Speaker 2: only met on social occasions such as weddings or parties,

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Speaker 2: as we both share the same group of friends. Lily

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Speaker 2: and Mila never got along, but Mela tolerated Lily for

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Speaker 2: me Mela and I had been dating for three years

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Speaker 2: and I proposed to her during summer holidays last year

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Speaker 2: when we visited her parents' house. We have been busy

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Speaker 2: planning our wedding and planned to get married in September.

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Speaker 2: Everything was going really well last week. I received an

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Speaker 2: email from Lily last week leading me not to marry Mela.

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Speaker 2: It was a long email talking about how we are soulmates,

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Speaker 2: we are meant to be see. It was extremely delusional

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Speaker 2: and talked about how I was just punishing her by

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Speaker 2: being in a relationship with Mila oof and she has

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Speaker 2: learned her lesson and I should take her back now.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if it.

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Speaker 4: Was a lesson as much as you Dum.

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Speaker 1: Found a new relationship out side he moved on after

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Speaker 1: you dumped Tim.

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Speaker 2: Seems kind of like a natural progression.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think maybe you distance yourself from what's her face, Lily.

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Speaker 2: Lily. I talked about how I would be abandoning her

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Speaker 2: after I promised that I would take care of her

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Speaker 2: in sickness and in health for her entire life, and

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Speaker 2: my new marriage vows will be meaningless since I promised

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Speaker 2: all those things to her early.

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Speaker 1: You divorced him yeah.

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00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:42,480
Speaker 2: I immediately told Mila about this and told her that

396
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:45,760
Speaker 2: Lily crossed the line and I would not only block

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Speaker 2: her everywhere, but make sure I go no contact with her.

398
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:52,080
Speaker 2: Meila was very upset too, and started cursing out Lily

399
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,400
Speaker 2: on how she is planning to ruin her special day.

400
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,920
Speaker 2: Meila told me that she wants a screenshot of the

401
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:03,359
Speaker 2: email and sent it to my parents. Okay, why why?

402
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:06,960
Speaker 2: I ask the same questions. They of course supported Mela

403
00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:09,080
Speaker 2: and told her that Lily has to be cut off

404
00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:12,240
Speaker 2: forever from our lives, and I agreed. O P has

405
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:15,119
Speaker 2: already agreed. They already said that if I was in

406
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,480
Speaker 2: a peace position, I would probably honestly want to be

407
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:21,480
Speaker 2: the one to tell my parents, even my partner, Yeah,

408
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:25,439
Speaker 2: relationship with my with my parents. But Mela said that

409
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:29,920
Speaker 2: Mela wants to share the email on her Instagram and Facebook.

410
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:35,240
Speaker 1: No, why why is she bringing up all this drama.

411
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:38,600
Speaker 2: So that all of our friends would also see Lily's behavior,

412
00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:41,760
Speaker 2: so they would all block her as well and never

413
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,639
Speaker 2: invite her to any events. That's just silly, that is

414
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,640
Speaker 2: what Mela says. It's a little too far, too far.

415
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,919
Speaker 1: We already know this person has been dealing with a

416
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Speaker 1: lot of like mental health crises.

417
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:53,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then too.

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Speaker 1: Literally kick this person while they're down in the streets.

419
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Speaker 2: Girl, you already won you are you got the mayor?

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00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,440
Speaker 1: I already got the man who said he would cut

421
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:07,080
Speaker 1: contact with Lily, and she's like, no, we have to

422
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Speaker 1: expose her in front of everyone.

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Speaker 2: I feel like OP has been pretty much all green flags. Yeah,

424
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Speaker 2: I agree, what do you what do you guys think?

425
00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:20,520
Speaker 2: Green agree? Green flag. So this is where I do

426
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:25,520
Speaker 2: not agree with Mila about posting it on social. I

427
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:28,280
Speaker 2: know that Lily is not mentally well. This Wivida's point,

428
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:31,800
Speaker 2: and has not been depressed again since we announced our engagement.

429
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:34,280
Speaker 2: Lily has tried to reach out to me through my friends,

430
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:37,159
Speaker 2: but I have given her a chance, but I had not,

431
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,639
Speaker 2: thank you given her a chance to speak to me alone.

432
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:43,440
Speaker 2: I feel bad for Lily, and I feel I feel

433
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 2: melas sharing the post would only extend the drama. I

434
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:49,879
Speaker 2: also worry that my friends know about Lily's mental condition

435
00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:52,439
Speaker 2: and it would feel petty to hurt her.

436
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:53,120
Speaker 4: Well.

437
00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:55,800
Speaker 2: I am moving on and marrying an amazing person and Mela.

438
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,320
Speaker 2: I have told Mila about all this, and she feels

439
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:03,199
Speaker 2: that I am still trying to protect Lily when she

440
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:07,760
Speaker 2: tried to hurt Mela by sending that email. Real quick,

441
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:12,400
Speaker 2: pit stop before we finish the story. And also we're

442
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:14,439
Speaker 2: live every week to at three pm PST. So what

443
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:18,400
Speaker 2: are you doing not joining us the profile to join?

444
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:22,640
Speaker 2: But gang this is this is a red flag on

445
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:23,480
Speaker 2: on Mela.

446
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:27,679
Speaker 1: Raising lazing hot red flag are saying there should be

447
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:29,000
Speaker 1: a pole?

448
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 2: Is that what we're saying? We can let's let's pull it,

449
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:37,879
Speaker 2: let's pull it up. Do we prevorce Mela? No?

450
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:42,480
Speaker 1: I don't think prevorce. I think we see how if

451
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:48,719
Speaker 1: she does it anyway? Yeah, maybe you consider like looking

452
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,399
Speaker 1: at your relationship and being like do I want to

453
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:54,879
Speaker 1: marry this person? I think right now it really just

454
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,560
Speaker 1: because we are at the precipice. She has not sent

455
00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:00,320
Speaker 1: it yet, she has brought it up, and I think

456
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:04,240
Speaker 1: that's a conversation like, hey, why do you feel the

457
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:07,919
Speaker 1: need to do this. She's not even a part of

458
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 1: our life anymore. I think conversation first. I don't think

459
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:15,040
Speaker 1: this is necessary, like necessarily a.

460
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:18,359
Speaker 2: Pre warse Chat said we do have a slim majority.

461
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:24,120
Speaker 2: Is going down? Chat is throwing down right now? Yeah,

462
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:28,639
Speaker 2: I am not on the PREVRS train same. I'm not

463
00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:29,359
Speaker 2: even close.

464
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:31,359
Speaker 1: I think I think this is a big red flag,

465
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,760
Speaker 1: but I don't think it's a.

466
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,480
Speaker 2: I think my take on this situation is that, like

467
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,000
Speaker 2: I feel like Miila is probably like very emotionally charged

468
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:42,040
Speaker 2: the wedding's coming. She maybe she was. She went a

469
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 2: perfect day, totally understandable, and she's like, here's my arch

470
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:49,000
Speaker 2: nemesis striking again. I must have vanquished my final boss.

471
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:51,720
Speaker 2: But ladies and gentlemen, that is literally the end of

472
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:53,639
Speaker 2: that is literally not the end of that story.

473
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:54,880
Speaker 1: I was like, is there more?

474
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,640
Speaker 2: Because I am not sure what to do at this point?

475
00:24:57,720 --> 00:24:59,679
Speaker 2: Am I the a hole to ask Mila and not

476
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 2: to share the email and social media for everyone to

477
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:04,959
Speaker 2: see Lily's private email to me? Is Miela right that

478
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,879
Speaker 2: Lily deserves all the hurt she would get now after

479
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 2: she makes the email public? And I think in our

480
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:13,000
Speaker 2: discussion we have come to conclusion now that that is

481
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 2: not the move. But that is actually the end of

482
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:16,399
Speaker 2: the story.

483
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:17,880
Speaker 1: No, it's just silly.

484
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,879
Speaker 2: So you know, if you love us, make sure to subscribe.

485
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 1: We love you and sanamorrow.

486
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,719
Speaker 4: This is an episode from Deep Within the Archives.

487
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:29,600
Speaker 2: Time for okop Rewash.

488
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:34,760
Speaker 4: My daughter holds a grudge against me for the divorce.

489
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:36,600
Speaker 4: If only she knew the truth.

490
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,160
Speaker 2: Well, what's the truth, daddy?

491
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:41,560
Speaker 4: The truth better be something crazy?

492
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:42,760
Speaker 2: Oh good?

493
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:44,640
Speaker 4: And it is, John, I'm gonna get into it.

494
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:45,320
Speaker 2: It always is.

495
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 4: My daughter, who is twenty seven, is getting married in August.

496
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 4: She hasn't invited my wife or our children, and I

497
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:55,440
Speaker 4: am very hurts. And I told her that since my

498
00:25:55,560 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 4: family wasn't welcome, I shouldn't be welcome either. Dang she

499
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 4: was Yeah, get them, daddy. She was angry with me

500
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:06,880
Speaker 4: and has called me crying, saying that I am an

501
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,359
Speaker 4: a hole for doing this to her. Since who is

502
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:12,239
Speaker 4: going to walk her down the aisle? Not op? I

503
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 4: guess who's gonna bow it. A little backstory. My daughter

504
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 4: was a happy child until she was thirteen and her

505
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:22,400
Speaker 4: mom and I divorced. She was devastated and we did

506
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:26,600
Speaker 4: everything from therapy, et cetera. She couldn't fathom what was

507
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:30,240
Speaker 4: going on since we were a happy family. Guess not

508
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 4: so happy?

509
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:32,080
Speaker 2: I guess not.

510
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:37,520
Speaker 4: I met my beautiful wife four years later, and it

511
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:40,359
Speaker 4: was the second blow to her. Since she lived with

512
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:43,119
Speaker 4: the hope that her mom and I would reconcile. She

513
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 4: never liked my wife, even with the effort my wife

514
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:50,080
Speaker 4: showed later in the relationship. Now my wife and our

515
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 4: small children aren't welcome at her wedding. Everyone else is,

516
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:58,399
Speaker 4: including her mom's new boyfriend and his son's seems like

517
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:02,080
Speaker 4: there's like, uh, you know, maybe a little one sided

518
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:02,920
Speaker 4: treatment over here.

519
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:04,480
Speaker 2: Seems he's been in balance.

520
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:06,760
Speaker 4: She told me that she was free to invite whoever

521
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:09,119
Speaker 4: she wanted on her big day, and I totally agree

522
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 4: with her and support her decision. But then shouldn't I

523
00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:14,760
Speaker 4: also be free to decline the invitation?

524
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:16,960
Speaker 2: Oh?

525
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:19,639
Speaker 4: Am I the a hole here, dang.

526
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:25,480
Speaker 2: So to clarify, OPI uh basically kicked the dad out

527
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 2: of her wedding because she still seems hurt over the divorce.

528
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 4: Right, not quite so. To be clear, Opie hasn't invited

529
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 4: her dad's wife or her children to the wedding, but

530
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:41,959
Speaker 4: her dad she wants at the wedding to walk her

531
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 4: down the aisle, right.

532
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,320
Speaker 2: And he's like, well, I mean, if you're gonna get me,

533
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:50,440
Speaker 2: like you're gonna get my family like this, this is

534
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:58,639
Speaker 2: a paculum deal, honey, Yeah, yeah, wow, okay, uh yeah,

535
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:06,960
Speaker 2: so far op is the a hole. But I'm saying it.

536
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:09,520
Speaker 2: I'm okay, that's what I'm that's on record, all right.

537
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:12,919
Speaker 4: There is an update though, all right, but everyone in

538
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:14,880
Speaker 4: the comments put who you think is the A whole?

539
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 4: Are there any angels here? Everyone in an a whole?

540
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:20,400
Speaker 4: But there is an update, so we're gonna get into it.

541
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:25,400
Speaker 4: Thanks everyone. As I expected, nobody is the a hole here. Oh,

542
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:29,159
Speaker 4: I understand that my daughter doesn't like my family, and

543
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:31,960
Speaker 4: I wish that I knew how to tackle this situation. Earlier.

544
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:34,879
Speaker 4: I thought I was doing the right thing by giving

545
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:37,680
Speaker 4: her space. Well, my ex told me that she wasn't

546
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:39,800
Speaker 4: in love with me anymore and that she wanted to

547
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:42,840
Speaker 4: see other people. Oh, we got a divorce, and we

548
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:46,680
Speaker 4: didn't tell my daughter the reason. Then my ex changed

549
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 4: her mind a year later and wanted a reconciliation for

550
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 4: the sake of our daughter. Everyone told me that we

551
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:54,200
Speaker 4: were meant to be together and that I should forgive

552
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:57,560
Speaker 4: her and take her my ex back, including my own

553
00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 4: family and friends. Interesting, they said, for your daughter's sake,

554
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:05,240
Speaker 4: you gotta do it. The thing was, I had fallen

555
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:07,440
Speaker 4: out of love with my ex by then, but nobody

556
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:09,760
Speaker 4: forgave me, and my daughter grew up listening to our

557
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 4: family blaming me for the divorce. O, okay. I always

558
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:16,960
Speaker 4: kept showing my daughter that she was my only priority,

559
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:19,960
Speaker 4: and with time, I even told her what really happened,

560
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 4: hoping she would understand better how nuanced relationships are. Nobody

561
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 4: was at fault, and both her mom and I loved

562
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 4: her very much. I don't know how I failed there

563
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:32,040
Speaker 4: or what more I should have done so she wouldn't

564
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,600
Speaker 4: resent me the way she did and still does. When

565
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 4: I met my wife, all my daughters hope for her

566
00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 4: parents to be together was now gone, and she hated

567
00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 4: my wife. By then, she was already seventeen, and it

568
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:43,959
Speaker 4: was harder for both my wife and I to have

569
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 4: a relationship with her. I didn't regret going against everyone

570
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 4: when I didn't want my old marriage back because I

571
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:51,040
Speaker 4: believed and still believe, that it is my decision and

572
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:53,520
Speaker 4: it is the right one. I'm sorry to say I'm

573
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 4: going against everyone now too, including my wife, and I'm

574
00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 4: not going to attend my daughter's wedding. She has made

575
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:02,920
Speaker 4: zero effort to have a relationship with me since she

576
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 4: moved out. She has refused to meet her two brothers,

577
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 4: and even now she isn't that much interested in me.

578
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 4: Attending as much as having her father walk her because

579
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:14,680
Speaker 4: it would be embarrassing otherwise. It's time my daughter learned

580
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:18,480
Speaker 4: that actions have consequences. To answer why my daughter doesn't

581
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:21,920
Speaker 4: have a beef with her mother's boyfriend, I can only speculate,

582
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:24,760
Speaker 4: but my ex met her partner a bit later in life.

583
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:27,040
Speaker 4: Had she met someone while both my ex and I

584
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:29,520
Speaker 4: were single and my ex had chosen to move on,

585
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 4: my daughter probably would have blamed them for breaking your family. Instead,

586
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 4: it just happened to me, my beautiful wife that took

587
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 4: the biggest chunk of the blame and resentment. Dang daddy. Okay,

588
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 4: before John and I give our breakdown, Okop, Gang, what

589
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:45,880
Speaker 4: do you think? Do we got any angels? Do we

590
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:48,840
Speaker 4: got any a holes? Is everyone in an ahole? Is everyone

591
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 4: an angel? Are there no ales? Are there no angels?

592
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 4: Tell us what would you do? Put in the comments

593
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 4: and we're about to give you our breakdown, John, what

594
00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:57,040
Speaker 4: do you think?

595
00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:01,160
Speaker 2: I'm I'm so torn on this one because it seems

596
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:04,480
Speaker 2: what op is implying, and of course we wouldn't know

597
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 2: unless we really get his daughter's perspective, But it seems

598
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 2: what OPI is implying is that op doesn't that his

599
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 2: daughter doesn't like his current wife because his daughter is

600
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:22,720
Speaker 2: putting blame on her for ruining her parents' marriage, right, So, like, yeah, one,

601
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:26,160
Speaker 2: it would be one thing if it was like, you know,

602
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 2: you know, my wife just kept telling her, oh, she

603
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:32,880
Speaker 2: needs like go exercise and like look good for her

604
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 2: big day, and now she doesn't want at the wedding.

605
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:37,080
Speaker 2: If it was something like that, it's like, yeah, I

606
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:38,680
Speaker 2: get her out of here, you know what I mean.

607
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 2: But it I think it gets a lot trickier when

608
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 2: it's like it seems like the daughter doesn't want the

609
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 2: wife of Opie's wife for that reason, for the reason

610
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 2: of she's putting the blame on the divorce.

611
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's like, you know, it's I think, well,

612
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:06,760
Speaker 4: I guess the question is like, if you're having a wedding,

613
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:07,880
Speaker 4: you can.

614
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:10,280
Speaker 2: You get to choose who you ultimately?

615
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:14,440
Speaker 4: Yet right, yes, right? So ultimately I think, you know,

616
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:17,040
Speaker 4: the daughter has the right to choose whoever she wants.

617
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 4: What is the most charitable and nice thing to do,

618
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 4: Like if she was an absolute angel, it would probably

619
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:27,680
Speaker 4: be to invite her dad's whole family and like try

620
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:31,560
Speaker 4: to rekindle some kind of relationship with her dad, and

621
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 4: you know, like just because her dad, you know, found

622
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:40,080
Speaker 4: love that wasn't her mom doesn't like like she shouldn't

623
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:42,960
Speaker 4: hold a grudge against him for that, right, But I

624
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:46,479
Speaker 4: understand that it's very hard maybe to do that, especially

625
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:52,760
Speaker 4: when it happens young. So I think, like, I think,

626
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:55,640
Speaker 4: I think they're both being a little petty. I think

627
00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:59,200
Speaker 4: they're both being a little petty. There's a little pettyess there,

628
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:02,520
Speaker 4: Like the daughter is a little petty because she's not

629
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 4: inviting her father's family. And I think the dad is

630
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:09,040
Speaker 4: being petty like he should be a dad, you know,

631
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:13,760
Speaker 4: like yeah, you know, fuck fuck the if if his

632
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:17,680
Speaker 4: daughter isn't inviting your family, Like I understand, but like

633
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:21,840
Speaker 4: you know, it's your daughter still still walking down the aisle.

634
00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:24,600
Speaker 4: It's it's like the day is ultimately about her and

635
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:28,760
Speaker 4: not you. And I think that dad is making it

636
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 4: more about him. So I think you're both a little

637
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:33,480
Speaker 4: petty here. If like, if they were trying to be

638
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:38,880
Speaker 4: the best people ever, uh, I think, you know, the

639
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:43,960
Speaker 4: dad would go to the wedding and the daughter would

640
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 4: invite the family if they were being the best people possible.

641
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:50,920
Speaker 4: But I don't think they're like a holes for not

642
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:51,560
Speaker 4: doing that.

643
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think, yeah, they're this is a little bit

644
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 2: of a whole behavior both both ways. I don't. I

645
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:01,440
Speaker 2: don't know if I'm thinking like if I was in

646
00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:06,600
Speaker 2: Op's position, I don't know. I don't. I don't think.

647
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:09,520
Speaker 2: I don't think I would skip the wedding honestly, like

648
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:12,440
Speaker 2: I would, I wouldn't. I would make it known like listen,

649
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:15,640
Speaker 2: I want the you know, the rest the rest of

650
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:19,200
Speaker 2: my family to be here. But I'm also like, I

651
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:21,160
Speaker 2: don't I don't think I would like to make a

652
00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 2: stand like, you know, not go. I don't know.

653
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:29,839
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I think generally, like is something that I

654
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:32,520
Speaker 4: I you know, I don't like about Reddit in general.

655
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:36,320
Speaker 4: It's like they're very vindictive, like as a group of people,

656
00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:38,439
Speaker 4: and so it's like you fuck me up, I'm gonna

657
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,600
Speaker 4: fuck you up. And I just don't think that's how

658
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:43,560
Speaker 4: you like make a better world. And so we might

659
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:46,320
Speaker 4: get flamed in the comments on TikTok or YouTube or

660
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:49,440
Speaker 4: whatever for like having this stance. There's like no, like

661
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:52,279
Speaker 4: he's in the right right, but it's not like who

662
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:55,719
Speaker 4: has the right to to do something bad. It's like,

663
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 4: how can we be the most good right, and yeah,

664
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 4: I feel like both of these people are missing the

665
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:02,960
Speaker 4: bar a little bit.

666
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:06,920
Speaker 2: Or we can we can floor the gas and you

667
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:07,440
Speaker 2: know what.

668
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:10,760
Speaker 4: Or fucking eye for an eye, baby, let me stab

669
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 4: an icicle in your freaking eye socket.

670
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 2: Yeah you're.

671
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:20,360
Speaker 4: Okay, but you know, John and I just threw people.

672
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,640
Speaker 4: Do you agree with what we said? Do you disagree?

673
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:23,040
Speaker 4: Tell us?

674
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:23,319
Speaker 2: Why?

675
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:27,399
Speaker 4: Please? You know, toast a roast us, take us down

676
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 4: a nutch, you know, to cut our testicles off and

677
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 4: put them in a jar formaldehyde if you so choose.

678
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:38,000
Speaker 2: Or or don't, or you could pass on that.

679
00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:44,960
Speaker 4: Who's the dumbest person you've ever met? Okayop? This is Okayop.

680
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:47,040
Speaker 4: I'm Samuel Dunner and I'm joh Fry and we tell

681
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:51,239
Speaker 4: the funniest stories on the entranets, almost like we sing

682
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:54,840
Speaker 4: them to you with the sweet, sweet lungs of singing

683
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:57,240
Speaker 4: of the air of the gods and of the gods.

684
00:35:57,320 --> 00:36:00,399
Speaker 4: I'm actually imagining like like a Mariachi band, but full

685
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:01,520
Speaker 4: of zoos sympacida.

686
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:07,799
Speaker 2: That's definitely our style, dum don't. The question is like,

687
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:11,359
Speaker 2: is it like zoo Symposeidon with like the full outfit.

688
00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:14,000
Speaker 4: Full outfit? Yeah, yeah, full outfit everything. Yeah, it's gotta

689
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:16,360
Speaker 4: be anyway, it's just bulging out. I got a question

690
00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:18,800
Speaker 4: for you, John, actually, and not even a story.

691
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:20,920
Speaker 2: Oh, let me know what is it?

692
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:25,040
Speaker 4: Who is the dumbest person you've ever met? It's not

693
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:27,440
Speaker 4: uncommon as a teacher to have students who are a

694
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:30,480
Speaker 4: bit behind the curve in certain aspects, but ninety nine

695
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:34,920
Speaker 4: point percent of the time they are keen to understand something.

696
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 4: They might not understand how to identify it now or

697
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 4: what theme is, but they somehow know how to make

698
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:43,120
Speaker 4: a mean plate of nachos. Like you know, you learn

699
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:45,399
Speaker 4: pretty quick not to judge a fish for their tree

700
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:48,160
Speaker 4: climbing ability. You know, I thought this was the rule

701
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:52,840
Speaker 4: when I was teaching until I met Kevin. Kevin Kevin

702
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:55,239
Speaker 4: isn't his real name, but it doesn't matter because he

703
00:36:55,320 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 4: can't spill it anyway. Kevin was a student of during

704
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:03,560
Speaker 4: my last year of teaching. He came to my classroom

705
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 4: with very little to show for his academic past. He

706
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:08,759
Speaker 4: had moved a few times and thus was missing a

707
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:11,120
Speaker 4: lot of typical test scores that we used to try

708
00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:14,319
Speaker 4: to ballpark their ability. Don't worry, it was ballpark. We

709
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:16,840
Speaker 4: didn't make any decisions until we actually had a chance

710
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:18,840
Speaker 4: to sit and talk with them and work with the

711
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:21,759
Speaker 4: student for a bit. Okay, I thought, that's fine, I'll

712
00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:24,319
Speaker 4: just do some one on one with Kevin. See what's up,

713
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:27,960
Speaker 4: good idea. One on one with Kevin was like conversing

714
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:31,960
Speaker 4: with someone who'd forgotten everything in a freak, if not impossible,

715
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 4: amnesia incident. There was no evidence that he had learned

716
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:39,200
Speaker 4: anything past the second grade, and he was in ninth grade.

717
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:43,359
Speaker 4: Oh dear flabberg acid. I figured we needed to get

718
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:45,520
Speaker 4: more serious with this. If he was going to be

719
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:47,760
Speaker 4: in my class, I needed to know why and how

720
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:51,759
Speaker 4: he didn't understand anything. I decided to meet with him,

721
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:54,600
Speaker 4: his guidance counselor his parents, and another teacher to see

722
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:56,920
Speaker 4: what was really going on. This is where it all

723
00:37:57,120 --> 00:38:01,000
Speaker 4: became clear. It was some incredible fluke that his family

724
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:03,280
Speaker 4: hadn't been wiped out of the face of the earth

725
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:07,360
Speaker 4: years ago. Odds are his entire heritage was based on

726
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:11,279
Speaker 4: blind luck and some kind of sick divine intervention that

727
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:14,880
Speaker 4: saves his family every time a threat presents itself. Kevin

728
00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:18,279
Speaker 4: was the genetic pinnacle of this null achievement. Even with

729
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:22,200
Speaker 4: my instructional lead. This woman couldn't even find a redeeming

730
00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 4: trait at the bottom of the Marianas trench, and she

731
00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:27,840
Speaker 4: failed to see any reason this kid or his family

732
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:31,440
Speaker 4: should be alive today. So here's the list of events

733
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:34,000
Speaker 4: that made it abundantly clear that God exists and he's

734
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:38,640
Speaker 4: laughing uncontrollably. Kevin frequently forgot when and where classes were,

735
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:41,080
Speaker 4: and on more than one occasion I had to retrieve

736
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:44,880
Speaker 4: him from other classroom. Kevin ate an entire pack of

737
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:47,279
Speaker 4: twenty four crayons.

738
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:48,440
Speaker 2: A ninth grader puked.

739
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:50,560
Speaker 4: And then did it again the next day. Oh, this

740
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:53,359
Speaker 4: is ninth grade. I have no idea where he got

741
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 4: the crayons.

742
00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:55,040
Speaker 2: Oh.

743
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:58,680
Speaker 4: Kevin was removed from the culinary arts program after leaving

744
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:01,719
Speaker 4: a cutting board on the gas stove and starting a

745
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:05,840
Speaker 4: fire twice. Kevin threw his lunch at the school resource

746
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,279
Speaker 4: officer and tried to run away. He ran into a

747
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:11,920
Speaker 4: door and insisted it wasn't him. Oh my god, Kevin

748
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:15,000
Speaker 4: stole my phone during class. I called it it rang

749
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:17,279
Speaker 4: He denied it was ringing, not that it wasn't his,

750
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 4: not that he did it. No, he denied that the

751
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:24,440
Speaker 4: phone was actually ringing. He tried it three times before

752
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:27,240
Speaker 4: the end of the year. Oh my god, Kevin called

753
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:30,040
Speaker 4: the basketball coach a mother F and b during gym.

754
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:33,359
Speaker 4: Basketball tryouts were that afternoon. Kevin tried out. It did

755
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 4: not go well. Kevin's mom could never remember which school

756
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:40,360
Speaker 4: he went to. She missed several meetings because she drove

757
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:43,720
Speaker 4: to other schools, none of which he ever attended. Kevin

758
00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:46,240
Speaker 4: would say the N word a lot. Kevin was white

759
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:49,280
Speaker 4: and this high school was eighty four percent black. Kevin

760
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:52,920
Speaker 4: got beat out a lot. Kevin stole another student's iPhone

761
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:56,600
Speaker 4: and tried to sell it back to them. Kevin didn't

762
00:39:56,680 --> 00:40:00,399
Speaker 4: understand that his grade was dependent on test quizzes, work,

763
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:04,360
Speaker 4: class work, and participation. Kevin finished his first semester with

764
00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:10,680
Speaker 4: a three percent average average. He then tried to bribe

765
00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:14,600
Speaker 4: me with eleven dollars. Kevin spit on a girl and

766
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:17,040
Speaker 4: said you should get out of those wet clothes. The

767
00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:21,480
Speaker 4: girl was a Spanish student teacher. Kevin didn't know dogs

768
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:25,160
Speaker 4: and cats were different animals. That's all for this one.

769
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:27,399
Speaker 2: God, I don't even know what to say. At first,

770
00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:29,800
Speaker 2: I was like, Wow, this poor kid is just so stupid,

771
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 2: and I'm just like I don't even know what to think, Like.

772
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:34,200
Speaker 4: Kevin seems like a mean, stupid.

773
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:35,640
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, Like at first I was like, oh, it's

774
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:38,640
Speaker 2: kind of adorable in some way, like he's just eating crans,

775
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:41,239
Speaker 2: and then it's like, oh, he's like so mean, Like

776
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:42,160
Speaker 2: what's going on here?

777
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:45,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, is not Kevin's no good, no good, but you

778
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 4: know what's always good.

779
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,160
Speaker 2: Smashing I subscribe, but subscribe.

780
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:52,040
Speaker 4: Follow us on Spotify, sport us on Patreon with the OG's.

781
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:55,839
Speaker 2: DESIREE Canterbury, Keegan Simmons and Kathy Quickly don't

782
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:58,400
Speaker 4: Think quickly, thank you for watching, and we're listening and

783
00:40:58,440 --> 00:40:58,799
Speaker 4: we'll see