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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcast host and we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute

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Speaker 1: break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.

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Speaker 2: My wife lied about her occupation our entire marriage.

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Speaker 3: Her own children admitted it.

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Speaker 4: Whoa the children.

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Speaker 3: Knew the children.

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Speaker 2: I sixty two male, met my wife sixty two female,

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Speaker 2: eleven years ago. We were both divorced and hit it

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Speaker 2: off well, and after five years of dating we tied

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Speaker 2: the knot. She was a teacher of twenty five years

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Speaker 2: in Illinois and retired in twenty thirteen, the year we

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Speaker 2: started dating, due to conflicts with administration. She was married

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Speaker 2: to a man who had a drinking and gambling problem

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Speaker 2: and lost everything, even cashing in her pension trying to

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Speaker 2: save the house, and came into our marriage with nothing.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user Ditka eighty five,

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Speaker 2: definitely from Illinois, and if you want to submit your

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Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash okay storytime stubbreddit.

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Speaker 2: So to me my friend's family and neighbors, she was

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Speaker 2: a retired teacher who had married badly. I just learned

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Speaker 2: from IMPEC cou bull sources that she was never a teacher,

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Speaker 2: but did work at the school. All of the videos

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Speaker 2: and pictures she sent were from indoor recesses at in

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Speaker 2: actual classrooms. All the struggles in getting her teaching certificate

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Speaker 2: was a lie. All the parent teacher conferences she told

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Speaker 2: me about never happened. All the plays and recitals she

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Speaker 2: described in such detail were lies. All the stories about

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Speaker 2: troubled kids she got close to were lies. She's been

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Speaker 2: letting everyone believe this for eleven years, and I hope

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Speaker 2: you don't spend eleven more seconds staying married to her.

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Speaker 5: How do you even do that? That's like impressive, how

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Speaker 5: you can lie that much?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's disturbing. Yeah, So I don't know what to

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Speaker 3: make of this.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I don't even know this woman. What

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Speaker 2: else is a lie? I'm financially secure and she had nothing.

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Speaker 2: Does she love me or the security? Now it makes

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Speaker 2: sense that she has zero school friends or colleagues. You'd

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Speaker 2: think that after twenty five years at the same school,

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Speaker 2: in the same grade, there would be some solid friendships,

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Speaker 2: but there are none. Her slightly disabled daughter lives with

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Speaker 2: us full time. She works, but she'll never have a

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Speaker 2: career that would support her. If we divorce, they're both screwed.

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Speaker 2: I feel I have to know the truth, even though

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Speaker 2: this information was given to me by two separate people

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Speaker 2: who were very close to her. Is there a database

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Speaker 2: that would list school personnel from Illinois? There are some

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Speaker 2: comments here.

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Speaker 3: Comment Umber one says, hire a private investigator.

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Speaker 2: What do you plan to do though, if you find

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Speaker 2: out that she lied about all of that and gave confirmation?

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Speaker 2: Op says, I don't know. This person came forward because

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Speaker 2: our marriage has been very rocky for the past year.

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Speaker 2: She knew all along, but didn't want to be the

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Speaker 2: one who broke the news. A second source confirmed it.

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Speaker 2: Everyone on her side was in on it.

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Speaker 4: Wow, but why.

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Speaker 2: Like, you're just setting your friend up here for failure.

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Speaker 2: Where was the council telling her, Hey, don't lie about

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Speaker 2: your entire life and career before you get married.

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Speaker 5: Why were they just like cool with this or like

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Speaker 5: did they even know that she was lying to him

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Speaker 5: about it?

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Speaker 3: I mean maybe they didn't at first.

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 6: It's crazy.

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Speaker 2: But then we have another comments higher a PI. Have

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Speaker 2: them track down her ex and the employment verification for you.

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Speaker 2: If she did work at the school for all those

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Speaker 2: years in any capacity, that involved working actively with kids.

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Speaker 2: Then they were her students. Whether she has a teacher's

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Speaker 2: license or was the lunch lady, that's part and parcel

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Speaker 2: with the school system. The accuser is also probably not

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Speaker 2: someone you should be trusting implicitly at this point. Why

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Speaker 2: would they only be bringing us up now rather than

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Speaker 2: eleven years ago. Sounds like your relationship has other issues, though,

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Speaker 2: and you should probably decide whether you want to stay

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Speaker 2: with her or not just based on what you feel

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Speaker 2: for her now before this accusation came up. That is

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Speaker 2: the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I'm sorry. Yeah, well, oh,

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Speaker 2: I guess, just like whether it's a truth or a lot,

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Speaker 2: I think the comment is operating like this might not

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Speaker 2: be true.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, like, just to be careful.

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Speaker 2: I misunderstood that for a second. Okay, the info the

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Speaker 2: PI finds will be helpful either way and will be

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Speaker 2: the fastest and easiest way to get to the bottom

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Speaker 2: of things, and we have an update, right. I feel

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Speaker 2: like she was lying.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like that too.

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Speaker 5: I don't know, because he said that the kids knew.

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Speaker 5: How did he find out about.

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Speaker 2: This from impeccable sources? We don't know who they are.

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Speaker 3: Yet.

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Speaker 2: Okay, the title implies children involved. Yeah, but let's get

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Speaker 2: into this update. My wife had a harmful first marriage.

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Speaker 2: I have seen the pictures and the police reports. I've

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Speaker 2: also seen her school badge. The fact that she wasn't

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Speaker 2: a teacher isn't the worst thing. I wouldn't have cared,

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Speaker 2: But the fact that she's kept it up the entire

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Speaker 2: dating slash marriage is bothersome. I'm recovering from a drinking problem,

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Speaker 2: and I've told her everything, a lot of it. I

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Speaker 2: am not proud of, have been sober for twenty seven years,

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Speaker 2: lost everything, and have made a pretty good comeback. I

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Speaker 2: may have mixed up some years. She was an active

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Speaker 2: school employee when we first started dating in twenty thirteen,

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Speaker 2: and probably left the school in twenty fifteen. I know

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Speaker 2: I did the stormy thing the second year into the relationship.

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Speaker 2: She got the house in the divorce. She did tell

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Speaker 2: me she cashed in her entire pension to try and

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Speaker 2: save it, but by then it had been refinanced so

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Speaker 2: deep it had more debt than it was worth, and

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Speaker 2: the bank foreclosed. I helped her get into a house rental.

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Speaker 2: She got another job closer to me and moved into

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Speaker 2: my apartment in twenty seventeen. In twenty twenty three, my

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Speaker 2: wife started drawing on her ex's pension, which is six

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Speaker 2: hundred dollars a month. Like I said, I've made a

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Speaker 2: pretty good comeback and was blessed with parents who did

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Speaker 2: even better. Cashing in some gifting that I received over

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Speaker 2: the years, I bought a condo and she and her

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Speaker 2: daughter moved in. Those were some expensive gifts, Yeah, if

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Speaker 2: you could afford a condo right. The daughter had been

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Speaker 2: verbally and physically mistreated as well and was a shell

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Speaker 2: of a person. She's really taken to me and has

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Speaker 2: told me I'm more of a father than her biological dad.

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Speaker 2: Ever was I get Father's Day cards addressed to Dad

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Speaker 2: from both of her kids. The son effed up a

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Speaker 2: couple times and actually picked up a couple felonies. He

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Speaker 2: did six months in twenty twenty three, and when he

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Speaker 2: couldn't find a job, I told everything to HR and

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Speaker 2: because of my reputation, got him in at my company.

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Speaker 2: He's doing great there and appreciates the help. He's not

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Speaker 2: un an intelligent, he just does stupid stuff. The past year,

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Speaker 2: we've been having some pretty bad fights. Nothing gets physical,

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Speaker 2: but a lot of cussing and stuff like that. It

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Speaker 2: used to only happen when her daughter wasn't home, but

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Speaker 2: not anymore. She used to drink a little, which we

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Speaker 2: used to argue about, but now she's become a regular drinker,

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Speaker 2: and that's when crap really hit the fan and things

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Speaker 2: get ugly. This Thursday, I could sense a brew up coming,

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Speaker 2: so I left to cool down. When I got back

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Speaker 2: two hours later, she was gone and both kids were

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Speaker 2: still at our place. I apologized for walking out and

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Speaker 2: that I don't like them to see this. The sun

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Speaker 2: comes over a couple times a week, and Thursday he

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Speaker 2: was doing laundry. He went down to change loads and

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Speaker 2: the daughter thirty female told me. Yes, her own daughter

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Speaker 2: told me because she was tired of seeing me treated

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Speaker 2: like crap after everything I've done for them. I was stunned.

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Speaker 2: When sun came back up. I asked if it was true,

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Speaker 2: and he said it was. They both knew, but they

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Speaker 2: were sworn to secrecy. When I said I can't take

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Speaker 2: this anymore, both of them said they wouldn't blame me

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Speaker 2: for calling it quits. Wow.

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Speaker 4: Wow, that is wild.

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Speaker 3: Even the kids are like, yeah, dude, you got to get.

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Speaker 2: Out of here.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I wonder like what she does then, because she

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Speaker 5: has to be having some sort of income.

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Speaker 2: She worked at the school, but I don't think she

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Speaker 2: was like a teacher and like didn't wasn't working with

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Speaker 2: the kids and talking about doing like school plays and

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Speaker 2: stuff and like that. None of that ever happened.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but she did work at the school for a

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Speaker 3: long time.

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Speaker 5: But I guess that would kind of make sense why

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Speaker 5: she would have such detailed stories because maybe she like

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Speaker 5: heard about these things or like from workers or like

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Speaker 5: just kind of you know, maybe she does know some

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Speaker 5: of the kids.

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Speaker 2: She has twenty five years worth of like anecdotes and

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Speaker 2: stories from other teachers to be like, okay, I can

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Speaker 2: fill in the gaps here.

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Speaker 5: Interesting, Like if that's the case, if those stories were true,

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Speaker 5: for me, it lightens it a little bit because like

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Speaker 5: if she had just made up those stories, yeah, it'd

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Speaker 5: be terrify.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it does. That does make it a little lighter.

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Speaker 4: And I think still lying for all of this, that's

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Speaker 4: a lot.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I think maybe you know, if she was in

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Speaker 2: that really terrible relationship and there was abson, it's like

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Speaker 2: and all the stuff with the house happened in the

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Speaker 2: divorce and it's like, maybe this was like a delusional break. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: My wife has rheumatoid arthritis which is very aggressive and

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Speaker 2: has had multiple surgeries on both hands and feet, with

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Speaker 2: more to come. She can't type, write, or stand for

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Speaker 2: long periods, so she has zero income. She's applied for

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Speaker 2: disability and she's working with a disability attorney, but who

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Speaker 2: knows if or when that would come through. The daughter

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Speaker 2: gives five hundred dollars a month. To be honest, I've

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Speaker 2: been miserable for the past three years. She's on some

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Speaker 2: serious medication in The person who always saw the best

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Speaker 2: in everyone and any situation has become a mean, bitter person,

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Speaker 2: nothing at all like the one I met and married.

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Speaker 2: She's lost her lust for life and is severely depressed

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Speaker 2: because she really has nothing. No career, no ira, and

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Speaker 2: no family. I took the VERBALI because she has nowhere

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Speaker 2: to go and no where to pay for it. I

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Speaker 2: was in the same position twenty seven years ago and

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Speaker 2: thought I was doing the right thing. This revelation, on

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Speaker 2: top of everything else, has pushed me to my end.

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Speaker 2: I hate to push her out, but my sanity is

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Speaker 2: at stake. I've got my own demons. I'm fighting every

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Speaker 2: single day. My job is high paying, but that comes

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Speaker 2: with high stress and responsibilities. I can't function getting to

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Speaker 2: sleep at one am and waking up at six. There

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Speaker 2: was a pretty big f up at work this week

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Speaker 2: on a project that I had. Not really my fault,

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Speaker 2: but had I been more on top of things, I

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Speaker 2: would have caught it before we pulled the triggers on

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Speaker 2: mass production. I think I need to take care of

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Speaker 2: me now. I'm sixty two, make over one hundred K year,

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Speaker 2: no debt, mid seven figures in my bank accounts. I

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Speaker 2: should be living my best life, but I hate every day.

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Speaker 2: My dad passed away of a heart attack at sixty four,

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Speaker 2: and I'm two years away from that milestone. I'm going

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Speaker 2: to wait it out until disability comes through, then file

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Speaker 2: for divorce. Estimated SSI is around eighteen hundred a month.

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Speaker 2: That plus the six hundred from her ex's pension and

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Speaker 2: the daughter's pay, could get them something certainly not the

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Speaker 2: lifestyle they're accustomed to, but survivable. The vast majority of

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Speaker 2: my net worth is from an inheritance, which is not

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Speaker 2: marital property. If SSI doesn't come through, I'll offer up

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Speaker 2: a couple hundred thousand in cash, then try to move on.

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Speaker 2: The daughter doesn't deserve this, but I'm at my not

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Speaker 2: my problem mode now neither of them will fault me.

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Speaker 2: Sorry for the long post. I guess I need an event.

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Speaker 2: This is marriage number three for me, so I guess

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Speaker 2: I make dumb decisions too.

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Speaker 3: Comment number one.

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Speaker 2: Is did you find out why the big lie? Sorry

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Speaker 2: if you posted that and I missed it. Opie says,

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Speaker 2: the only thing I can think of is that she

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Speaker 2: wasn't proud of her station in life. I couldn't care

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Speaker 2: less about anyone's status. If you're a good person, you're

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Speaker 2: AOK in my book. Reply says, so she's embellished her

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Speaker 2: career to you, thinking you would be more impressed with

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Speaker 2: her as a teacher rather than a playground monitor. I

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Speaker 2: wouldn't really see that as even being close to infidelity.

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Speaker 2: But that's just me. Op says, I wouldn't have cared

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Speaker 2: what she did for a living. I'm not about status

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Speaker 2: or titles. What sours me is the person she's become

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Speaker 2: and that I'm constantly being told to f off.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that would do it.

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Speaker 2: At that point has nothing to do with what has

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Speaker 2: happened in the past, Right, all that matters is where

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Speaker 2: you're at now, and it's miserable.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, because if the the problem was really just these lies,

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Speaker 5: then like I feel like maybe it would take some

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Speaker 5: time for him to kind of realize if it was

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Speaker 5: a problem or not, like or he could trust her,

255
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Speaker 5: you know, like that might take some time. But I

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Speaker 5: feel like it's possible for it to be forgiven because

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Speaker 5: of her situation, Like she's just like daydreaming so hard

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Speaker 5: and like trying to create a different life in her mind.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: But if she's like, you know, mistreating him and maybe

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Speaker 5: not how she was mistreated, but still mistreating him, Yeah,

262
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Speaker 5: that's not something that you have to like put up with,

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Speaker 5: you know.

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Speaker 2: Yes, so you can walk away. Yeah, comment number two.

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Speaker 2: I'm not saying not to leave her, but you should

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Speaker 2: know that steroids, often used to treat roemuatoid arthritis, can

267
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Speaker 2: make people crazy. A well known side effect of steroids

268
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Speaker 2: is aggression and rage. I had to go on preating

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Speaker 2: his own for five months once, and I had to

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Speaker 2: go on multiple apology tours. If you can talk to

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Speaker 2: her doctor about maybe switching up the meds, you may

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Speaker 2: see her mood improved and if her mood improved. Would

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Speaker 2: it be worth saving for you? Something to consider? Op says,

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Speaker 2: somewhere inside is the girl I love. But she's gone. Now.

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Speaker 2: Six weeks ago, she was gone when I got home

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Speaker 2: from work, and her son called to ask if I

277
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Speaker 2: knew where she was, as he's been trying to reach her.

278
00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:13,360
Speaker 2: I tracked her via credit card purchases and we found

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00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:16,880
Speaker 2: her wasted in topless in a McDonald's parking lot. Five

280
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Speaker 2: weeks ago, I got a call at work that she's

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Speaker 2: done with this marriage and can just f right off.

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Speaker 2: I finished the day and came home to her wasted.

283
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:28,040
Speaker 2: We argued, and she stormed off into the basement. I

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Speaker 2: went down about an hour later to see if she

285
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Speaker 2: was okay, and she had shaved her head with our

286
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:36,199
Speaker 2: hair clippers. We're talking marine style. We've got twelve hundred

287
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Speaker 2: dollars worth of wigs in the house. Now, three weeks ago,

288
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:41,440
Speaker 2: she was wasted again. When I got home, both of

289
00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:43,600
Speaker 2: her kids were in the house. I looked in on

290
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Speaker 2: her and she was face down on our bed eating

291
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Speaker 2: an apple pie with her fingers crap all over the comforter.

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Speaker 2: I left her alone, and a little while later she's

293
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Speaker 2: heading to the basement with the comforter.

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Speaker 3: I said, that's way too heavy for the washer and dryer.

295
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Speaker 3: I was told to f off.

296
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Speaker 2: The next morning, she tells me the dryer is broken

297
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Speaker 2: and somehow were glad this has got broken too. It's

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Speaker 2: gotten crazy.

299
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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, this is like a serious mental break.

300
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:08,959
Speaker 2: Crazy that your wife is having an actual mental breakdown,

301
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:11,520
Speaker 2: and you're like, should I just like post on Reddit

302
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Speaker 2: about this? I'm sorry, Like, I know that we read

303
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,840
Speaker 2: Reddit stories, but like you need to be, like, we

304
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,000
Speaker 2: need to go to a doctor as I don't know

305
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:20,760
Speaker 2: if you need to put her on in a voluntary

306
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:25,280
Speaker 2: psychiatric hold. Yeah, like, but like, clearly something has happened

307
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Speaker 2: when you're like, I don't recognize my wife anymore.

308
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Speaker 5: I built the future through my wife's lies. Now we're

309
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Speaker 5: in financial ruin.

310
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Speaker 2: Ain't that just the worst?

311
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Speaker 5: My now wife thirty four and I thirty five, have

312
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:41,520
Speaker 5: been together for fourteen years. We met during our first

313
00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:43,880
Speaker 5: year of college, and within six months we knew one

314
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:47,680
Speaker 5: day we would marry each other. She was a courageous, strong, open,

315
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:50,719
Speaker 5: brilliant person who was up for any adventure, yet had

316
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Speaker 5: a remarkably level head by the way that comes from

317
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Speaker 5: doctor foolish and if you want to submit your own stories,

318
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,720
Speaker 5: go to the r slash ok storytime separated it so

319
00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,600
Speaker 5: in the bedroom. She had a lot of spicy interests,

320
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:04,560
Speaker 5: spicy tigris in every sense. I had a hard time

321
00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:07,559
Speaker 5: keeping up. To be honest, She wanted to be a psychologist,

322
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:10,000
Speaker 5: and I wanted to be a computer programmer. She warned

323
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,280
Speaker 5: me that her career would require many years of study

324
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:14,280
Speaker 5: and that she wanted a family later on. Knowing that

325
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,600
Speaker 5: computing at times is an unstable field, especially in those

326
00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:20,400
Speaker 5: posts two thousand years, I changed my plans to become

327
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,960
Speaker 5: an MD. And for those four years of college we

328
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,400
Speaker 5: supported each other through thick and thin. We would teach

329
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,800
Speaker 5: each other the material, and at times we even did

330
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,400
Speaker 5: each other's assignments. When we graduated, we agreed to wait

331
00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:33,480
Speaker 5: until our education was done and then tithe Knot officially,

332
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:36,280
Speaker 5: we joked that when we finally got married, we'd add

333
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:40,360
Speaker 5: up to one psychiatrist. I moved one thousand miles to

334
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:44,120
Speaker 5: attend men school. Every night we skyped my fiance's postgrad

335
00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:47,480
Speaker 5: psych plan changed to rehab counseling, then to social work,

336
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:50,360
Speaker 5: then to child protective services, then back to social work.

337
00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:53,320
Speaker 5: She said these were backdoor strategies to become a psychologist.

338
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:56,240
Speaker 5: Then finally she admitted that she wasn't getting her doctorate.

339
00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,920
Speaker 5: We still tried to support each other, but steadily her

340
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:01,880
Speaker 5: help was less helpful. I would sometimes write papers for her,

341
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,400
Speaker 5: but when she was swamped, but flashcards and things she

342
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:07,560
Speaker 5: would make me became more and more obvious copy and pastes.

343
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,000
Speaker 5: Pointing this out made her become very defensive, with her

344
00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:12,440
Speaker 5: saying that even if we were still teaching each other

345
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:15,760
Speaker 5: the material, my studies were too advanced. I entered residency

346
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:18,720
Speaker 5: and we reunited. I was a newly minted doctor and

347
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:21,400
Speaker 5: she was a social worker and an entirely different person.

348
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:25,440
Speaker 5: The vibrant girl of my college years had become a withdrawn, fearful, timid,

349
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,120
Speaker 5: and at times frigid.

350
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Speaker 6: And moody woman.

351
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,400
Speaker 5: Wow, what happened when you guys separated like that? I

352
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,800
Speaker 5: was shocked by the change, which had not shown at

353
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:35,280
Speaker 5: all in our nightly skype sessions. She said that her

354
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:38,280
Speaker 5: post college counseling and social work had given her PTSD

355
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,600
Speaker 5: and had been traumatic.

356
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Speaker 4: Yikes.

357
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:43,640
Speaker 5: Given time, love and a safe place, she would find

358
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,440
Speaker 5: her old self. She said she wanted to change her

359
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,440
Speaker 5: career to computer programming. She asked me to support her

360
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:52,480
Speaker 5: while she retrained. Her one job was to learn programming

361
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,720
Speaker 5: and either work for someone or start her own company.

362
00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:57,320
Speaker 5: In my brief time off residency, she would show me

363
00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,480
Speaker 5: the progress she had made and tell me how her

364
00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:01,360
Speaker 5: new career was going to allow us to have a

365
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:04,360
Speaker 5: family that always had access to mom, with homeschooling for

366
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,040
Speaker 5: the kids and early retirement for me. I trusted her

367
00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:09,600
Speaker 5: in the examples she showed me and booied my hopes.

368
00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:12,000
Speaker 5: Last year, I bought part ownership at a medical practice,

369
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:13,520
Speaker 5: and after thirteen long years, we.

370
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:14,560
Speaker 4: Finally married each other.

371
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:17,560
Speaker 5: Just before marriage, she completed all the needed compside training

372
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:20,480
Speaker 5: and started her own company. Our dreams never seemed closer

373
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,640
Speaker 5: than they did at that moment. That brings us to

374
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:27,360
Speaker 5: the present. With more than one million, five hundred thousand

375
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:31,280
Speaker 5: dollars in loans needing payment, and us getting into our

376
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:34,360
Speaker 5: mid thirties, my now wife revealed her whole career change

377
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:35,440
Speaker 5: was faked.

378
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:41,800
Speaker 2: WHOA, dude, WHOA These bills ain't fake, though, Oh.

379
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:45,440
Speaker 5: My god, it is an incredibly large amount of debt,

380
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:46,800
Speaker 5: my goodness, A.

381
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,200
Speaker 3: Million and a half.

382
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,680
Speaker 4: Yikes ooh, yike.

383
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,960
Speaker 3: And only half of you are doing anything.

384
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:54,640
Speaker 6: Yeah.

385
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:58,400
Speaker 5: All of the examples of her progress tutorials cribbed off

386
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:04,040
Speaker 5: the Internet with names changed, classes, fake certificates, photoshopped expensive

387
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:07,600
Speaker 5: computers for her company, server class internet mm slash fan

388
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:10,760
Speaker 5: fiction machines, go back to psychology.

389
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:11,639
Speaker 4: No interest.

390
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:16,199
Speaker 5: There, the courageous, strong, open, schmeckshy, brilliant girl who was

391
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:19,480
Speaker 5: up for any adventure passed away, and the tigris, a

392
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:23,040
Speaker 5: scared and angry kitten that hisses hot and cold. Safer

393
00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:25,560
Speaker 5: to leave alone in a passed away bedroom than to

394
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,560
Speaker 5: play with that's a crazy like.

395
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, I despise the way that you've just described that,

396
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:32,400
Speaker 2: regardless of.

397
00:17:32,359 --> 00:17:35,159
Speaker 3: Whether you're in the right or wrong here, I hate that.

398
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:36,879
Speaker 6: That's an insane metaphor.

399
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:40,760
Speaker 3: I hate that you've done this. My day is ruined.

400
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,879
Speaker 5: My gosh, because what she loved yesterday night becomes the

401
00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:46,200
Speaker 5: you made me do that resemble and that she'll carry

402
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,560
Speaker 5: for the next week. Oh boy, that is a whole

403
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,120
Speaker 5: thing to unpack in itself. Of course, she wants another

404
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,320
Speaker 5: chance to prove her love. But what love could there

405
00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:57,119
Speaker 5: possibly be that rationalizes years of deception like this? I

406
00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:58,880
Speaker 5: can't even express how damaged.

407
00:17:58,880 --> 00:17:59,440
Speaker 4: I am by this.

408
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,000
Speaker 5: Gave the best years of my life to support my

409
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,320
Speaker 5: wife and best friend and build our dreams with her.

410
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,520
Speaker 5: I dedicated my life to helping the world, and this

411
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,159
Speaker 5: is the best I am left with. Financially, we are

412
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,800
Speaker 5: ruined because at every step we made our plans with her,

413
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:15,760
Speaker 5: promises for tomorrow and mind wage slavery looms large as

414
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:18,440
Speaker 5: the only option to cover the bills, and divorce may

415
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:20,960
Speaker 5: be difficult because she's the niece of the majority owner

416
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,680
Speaker 5: of the medical practice that I've joined. And more importantly,

417
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:26,919
Speaker 5: I desperately want to believe that somewhere inside the creature

418
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:30,119
Speaker 5: I married, the girl I once knew, still lives the

419
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:31,399
Speaker 5: creature you married.

420
00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:35,320
Speaker 2: Yike, No, dude, just you leave. Now you leave. Gosh, man,

421
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:38,239
Speaker 2: you gotta leave and probably FILEW Chapter eleven bankruptcy. What

422
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:39,879
Speaker 2: is that It should get rid of your debt, but

423
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:42,359
Speaker 2: it's going to eviscerate your credit score.

424
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:47,680
Speaker 5: But yeah, geez man, Because like the last story you read,

425
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:50,159
Speaker 5: it's like, Okay, there's a lot of lies here, but

426
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:53,199
Speaker 5: you can kind of understand why because of like everything

427
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:53,840
Speaker 5: that was going on.

428
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:56,600
Speaker 6: But in this one, it's like it's not just.

429
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,919
Speaker 5: That there are lies, Like even if there's an explanation

430
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,680
Speaker 5: that maybe can be an understood, Like even if that's

431
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:05,320
Speaker 5: there one point five million dollars in debt, it's not

432
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:08,439
Speaker 5: just her debt necessarily, I think, but like that is

433
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:13,159
Speaker 5: so much that you have invested in this relationship and

434
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:14,600
Speaker 5: with your family and everything.

435
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,400
Speaker 2: That is just like she turned their whole life into

436
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:21,600
Speaker 2: a lot. Yeah, like by herself. Yeah, with her inaction.

437
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:24,320
Speaker 4: Right, that's just yikes.

438
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:28,240
Speaker 5: Man, I'm completely lost and emotionally, I'm devastated.

439
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:29,240
Speaker 4: And there is an update.

440
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:29,960
Speaker 2: Let's go.

441
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,720
Speaker 5: It's been five months since I posted to Reddit about

442
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:35,760
Speaker 5: the situation with me three to five mail and my

443
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,080
Speaker 5: wife thirty four female, and I thought I would give

444
00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:40,520
Speaker 5: you all an update. First, thank you so much for

445
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:43,520
Speaker 5: all the advice you gave, even advice I personally disagree with,

446
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,320
Speaker 5: provided much needed perspective on my situation. I know a

447
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:49,080
Speaker 5: lot of you were bewildered by the circumstances. Going into

448
00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:53,040
Speaker 5: medicine evokes so many weird, financial, personal, and educational situations

449
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:55,840
Speaker 5: that most people are blessed to never encounter. To answer

450
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,159
Speaker 5: some of the more common questions, how did we end

451
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,359
Speaker 5: up with the debt of one point five million seven

452
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:03,720
Speaker 5: hundred and fifty K was buying into her uncle's practice.

453
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:07,160
Speaker 5: Five hundred K was my cost of undergrad medical school

454
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:10,240
Speaker 5: and specialty residency. The remaining two fifty k she brought

455
00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:12,680
Speaker 5: into the mix. Those numbers are actually at the lower

456
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,280
Speaker 5: end of the debt young doctors in my field carry.

457
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:18,399
Speaker 5: Given my original plan of computer science, I regret every

458
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,399
Speaker 5: penny and neuron I ever devoted to medicine because I

459
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:23,520
Speaker 5: only changed my life goals to make sure that our

460
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,600
Speaker 5: theoretical future family would never have to depend on a

461
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:29,679
Speaker 5: then fickle seeming field. A partner who was committed to

462
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,840
Speaker 5: our future made that a worthwhile goal. Now did I

463
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:34,200
Speaker 5: cheat educationally?

464
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:36,439
Speaker 6: What like cheat in school?

465
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:37,919
Speaker 4: Like cheat on tests and stuff?

466
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:38,160
Speaker 2: Oh?

467
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,920
Speaker 4: I think, yeah, I know it was magic music.

468
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:43,639
Speaker 3: I was like, what, I don't believe.

469
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:45,879
Speaker 5: So in college, we would teach each other the material

470
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,040
Speaker 5: we were learning so we could support each other. We

471
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,639
Speaker 5: then were tested as everyone else was. We both tested

472
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,200
Speaker 5: very well in our respective fields and passed our exams

473
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,439
Speaker 5: without issue. Never once did I receive a grade for

474
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:58,240
Speaker 5: work that I didn't do myself. But you guys did homework.

475
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,520
Speaker 2: For each other, right, I think it was more like together,

476
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:03,360
Speaker 2: which is a collaborator. You can collaborate when the news flash,

477
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:06,960
Speaker 2: doctors collaborate with each other, right, but one doctor doesn't

478
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,720
Speaker 2: know what they're looking at, they'll go to another doctor's

479
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:09,520
Speaker 2: like eighty right, I know.

480
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,880
Speaker 5: What this is exactly. That's honestly, such a good point.

481
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,639
Speaker 5: Let people collaborate on homework, man. I have learned that

482
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:17,359
Speaker 5: she would occasionally turn my work in as her own though,

483
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:20,880
Speaker 5: so I'm an idiot, I'm a misogynist tool blaming her

484
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,840
Speaker 5: for my problems. I only value her for spicies leading income.

485
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:26,840
Speaker 5: I honestly don't know where anyone would get that perspective.

486
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:29,919
Speaker 2: I do I do? Oh, I do, I do I do?

487
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:32,440
Speaker 2: When you did that thing where you described her like

488
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:33,320
Speaker 2: a tigris and then a.

489
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:35,840
Speaker 3: Kitten, Yeah that was weird, man, that was weird.

490
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:37,000
Speaker 2: That's where that came from.

491
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:40,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, and then where she was like she would like

492
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,200
Speaker 5: claim that she regretted everything last night.

493
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:43,560
Speaker 4: It's possible that she did.

494
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:46,320
Speaker 6: And then she was throwing around acute story things, but it.

495
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:47,960
Speaker 4: Doesn't sound great. Doesn't sound great.

496
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,240
Speaker 2: And there were some eyebrows to be raised at some

497
00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:51,240
Speaker 2: of the things that you said.

498
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:54,919
Speaker 5: Yeah, AnyWho, if anything, I thought I was trying to

499
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,720
Speaker 5: do everything in my ability to support her career and dreams.

500
00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:00,359
Speaker 5: I thought she was the most wonderful, smart, see a

501
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:01,960
Speaker 5: person to ever come into my life, and I was

502
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,240
Speaker 5: looking forward to our life together, a life that needed

503
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:05,800
Speaker 5: us to pull our weight as a team for a

504
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:08,480
Speaker 5: wonderful future. AH for nothing, So how did you not

505
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:11,520
Speaker 5: see her change? Didn't you guys visit each other? We

506
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:14,359
Speaker 5: visited in person probably for a total of two months

507
00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:15,440
Speaker 5: in the four years that I was.

508
00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:17,400
Speaker 4: Away from her. Well, nothing seemed.

509
00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:19,639
Speaker 5: Off until the very last time I saw her, before

510
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:22,800
Speaker 5: a medical school graduation. She seemed very distant, but I

511
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:25,280
Speaker 5: chalked that up to the stress around graduation. Then we

512
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:29,040
Speaker 5: reunited in residency and I found out that that distant

513
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:32,040
Speaker 5: persona was the new normal. I think that that's most

514
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,919
Speaker 5: of the questions I got that brings us to the present.

515
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:37,359
Speaker 5: Like many of you suggested, I spoke with her uncle

516
00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:40,320
Speaker 5: about the situation. The conversation that we had bears no

517
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:45,440
Speaker 5: repeating at all. He unleashed the most abhorrent Trumpeian diatribe

518
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:48,960
Speaker 5: against women I have heard in my life, apparently thinking

519
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,040
Speaker 5: that I would relate to him. When he told me

520
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 5: that I would one day divorce my wife and get

521
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:56,080
Speaker 5: my trophy. I lost all respect I ever had for

522
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:59,159
Speaker 5: that man. Of course, there were no refunds, so the

523
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 5: financial situation is the same, if not worse. To the

524
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:05,399
Speaker 5: best extent I've been able to since I have to

525
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:08,040
Speaker 5: work with the man for the next seven months, then

526
00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:10,240
Speaker 5: he retires to the Philippines, I've cut him out of

527
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 5: my life and we only relate at work. I think

528
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 5: he spoke with her parents about the situation, because they

529
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,080
Speaker 5: are furious with her and have pretty much cut her

530
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:19,560
Speaker 5: off from family events. They have also pretty much done

531
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,600
Speaker 5: the same to me. They told us that we're a

532
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,440
Speaker 5: tremendous disappointment to the family because we'll never be able

533
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:26,480
Speaker 5: to help them. The way that a doctor should be

534
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 5: able to love is only worth money, it seems.

535
00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:32,119
Speaker 2: Yikes, dude, I just want to say that, why are

536
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 2: the low end of doctor debt is one point five million?

537
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:39,359
Speaker 2: Stop making the doctors be in so much debt, and

538
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:41,080
Speaker 2: then maybe healthcare will be affordable.

539
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 6: Yeah maybe, I know.

540
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:46,680
Speaker 5: That's honestly something I thought about recently, where it's like, okay, doctors, like, yeah,

541
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:48,480
Speaker 5: sure they make so much, but also they have so

542
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:51,119
Speaker 5: much debt, so it's like, what does that equal out to?

543
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:54,480
Speaker 5: I really am curious, but that's not what this story

544
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:55,000
Speaker 5: is about.

545
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:58,320
Speaker 6: It seems that there's more content. Yeah, there is.

546
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,320
Speaker 4: A little bit more to the story. But yeah, do

547
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,280
Speaker 4: you have any final thoughts before we move on?

548
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,879
Speaker 2: Well, the distance. I wasn't prepared for the distance. I

549
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:09,399
Speaker 2: didn't realize they were separated for four years like that. Yeah,

550
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:12,400
Speaker 2: until the very end here, I wasn't thinking that. Yeah,

551
00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:15,119
Speaker 2: and that makes so much more sense now as like

552
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:16,440
Speaker 2: how this could have happened.

553
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:20,280
Speaker 3: I'm like, how do you not figure out she's lying

554
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:21,159
Speaker 3: about all this?

555
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:22,360
Speaker 2: Right? Right?

556
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:25,680
Speaker 5: Because there's so much distance exactly exactly, there is a

557
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,440
Speaker 5: little bit more to the story. I've kept the situation

558
00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:30,520
Speaker 5: a secret for my parents because my wife has a

559
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 5: good relationship with them and she needs a family to

560
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,359
Speaker 5: talk to. Her parents disowning her and messed her up

561
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,919
Speaker 5: pretty bad. She got an IUD and tells me that

562
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,640
Speaker 5: she's working to make things right. She still does her

563
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,399
Speaker 5: secretarial work in the office, and I occasionally see her

564
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 5: puttering around with her computers when I see her, because

565
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:49,359
Speaker 5: my days start very early and end very very late.

566
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:51,400
Speaker 5: A few months ago, she started getting upset that I'm

567
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,760
Speaker 5: ignoring her spicy sleep once and needs. But I have

568
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,359
Speaker 5: to work eighteen to twenty hour days to have any

569
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 5: hope to pay down the debt in a reasonable time

570
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:00,960
Speaker 5: with our spending. I told her to just take any

571
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,520
Speaker 5: cash that she requires and to pursue her needs at once,

572
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 5: because there's no trust to be lost anyway, and there's

573
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:08,959
Speaker 5: nothing left that she could do to hurt me. Dang,

574
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,639
Speaker 5: she hasn't brought it up since I'm just a robot

575
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:12,480
Speaker 5: at this point in life.

576
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,080
Speaker 4: There's no end to the bills and there's nothing ahead.

577
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:17,520
Speaker 4: I do whatever I'm told, and I just do whatever.

578
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:19,639
Speaker 5: Has to happen. I pretty much have no feeling towards

579
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:22,399
Speaker 5: anything anymore. I guess I've accepted that some lives are

580
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:24,400
Speaker 5: just meant to be a warning for others. My health

581
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 5: has started declining, and honestly, it's been a comfort to

582
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:27,840
Speaker 5: know that perhaps.

583
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 4: I'll wake from these nightmares soon. And that is the

584
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:31,200
Speaker 4: end of that story.

585
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,760
Speaker 2: I stopped picking up after my husband's dirty laundry and

586
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:35,480
Speaker 2: he got.

587
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,080
Speaker 6: Furious, how dare you clean up after him?

588
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,879
Speaker 2: And there's a trigger warning here for verbalism. I thirty eight,

589
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:43,360
Speaker 2: female and may stay at home mom to my husband

590
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:47,200
Speaker 2: thirty nine male and my toddler daughter. We've been together

591
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,480
Speaker 2: for six years, married for two years. My husband works

592
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:52,960
Speaker 2: in an office, usually leaving for work early in the

593
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,919
Speaker 2: morning and coming home for dinner. I'm currently pregnant with

594
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,120
Speaker 2: our second child. And by the way, this comes from

595
00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:00,520
Speaker 2: user feeling am fifty one to thirty one and if

596
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:02,040
Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

597
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:04,600
Speaker 2: r slash Okay storytime suburt it. So we are in

598
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:08,680
Speaker 2: debt due to construction issues with our house. What initially

599
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:12,040
Speaker 2: was a roof replacement uncovered a multitude of problems with

600
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:14,600
Speaker 2: how the house was built and shortcuts taken by previous

601
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:17,119
Speaker 2: contractors who worked on the house under the former owners

602
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 2: of the home. We're living with my parents and have

603
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:22,359
Speaker 2: been since March because our home is unlivable due to

604
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,879
Speaker 2: water damage from the roof issues and everything else that

605
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,159
Speaker 2: needed to be done. We also filed a lawsuit with

606
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 2: the previous owners and the construction companies who performed poor

607
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:33,720
Speaker 2: workmanship because our house is that much of a lament

608
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:36,080
Speaker 2: that's crazy. This is all to say that money has

609
00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 2: been tight and our living situation has been pretty stressful.

610
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,679
Speaker 2: My husband gets in a bad mood pretty easily. He

611
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 2: gets annoyed about having to do things around the house

612
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:46,920
Speaker 2: that he doesn't like to do, and after he does

613
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:50,640
Speaker 2: these tasks begrudgingly, he needs time to himself to relax.

614
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 2: One of the tasks he's been asked to do is

615
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:55,439
Speaker 2: clean out the cat litter box while my parents are

616
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:57,800
Speaker 2: out of town. My mom usually does this, and since

617
00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:00,239
Speaker 2: I'm pregnant, I am unable to take care of it.

618
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:02,359
Speaker 2: The other night, he cleaned out the litter box after

619
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:04,199
Speaker 2: not doing it for two days, and he said it

620
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:06,720
Speaker 2: took him twenty minutes. It took you twenty minutes to

621
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,640
Speaker 2: empty out a litter box? Yeah, how much you feed

622
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:13,480
Speaker 2: that cat? After he did it, he just wanted to

623
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:15,720
Speaker 2: be left alone and asked me to put our daughter

624
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,400
Speaker 2: to bed, which he usually does so that he can

625
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 2: spend more time with her during the day. She only

626
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 2: gets to see him one or two hours max on weekdays.

627
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:25,640
Speaker 2: I said that I would, but hoped that he would

628
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:28,560
Speaker 2: cool off and change his mind. Before her bedtime, I

629
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,400
Speaker 2: was reading her a book and he asked me if

630
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:33,000
Speaker 2: she was going to bed yet, and I said not yet,

631
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:35,480
Speaker 2: so he went upstairs to our room to be alone.

632
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:38,000
Speaker 2: I eventually took her upstairs for bed, and she wanted

633
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:39,760
Speaker 2: to say good night to him. I was annoyed with

634
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,000
Speaker 2: him for being this way, so I didn't say much

635
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:43,880
Speaker 2: to him when I took her up. I also asked

636
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 2: if he could watch her for a minute while I

637
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:47,960
Speaker 2: grabbed the diaper from downstairs because there weren't any in

638
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,720
Speaker 2: her room, to which he replied, why are you making

639
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,640
Speaker 2: this as difficult as possible and why didn't you get

640
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:56,199
Speaker 2: some diapers before bringing her up here? I said that

641
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:59,200
Speaker 2: I didn't know there weren't any diapers in her room. Also,

642
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:01,800
Speaker 2: shut up, baby, your big baby.

643
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 6: Yeah, calm down.

644
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:08,880
Speaker 2: Oh oh, everyone stop the presses. This guy cleaned out

645
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:09,919
Speaker 2: the cat box.

646
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:13,479
Speaker 5: Yeah, this poor man, it took him all of twenty

647
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:14,240
Speaker 5: minutes to do.

648
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:15,639
Speaker 4: He has to be left alone.

649
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:17,680
Speaker 2: After that, I was annoyed with him for the rest

650
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:19,640
Speaker 2: of the night and kept my distance so he could

651
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,000
Speaker 2: watch his show on his laptop while I did other

652
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,520
Speaker 2: things around the house. I'm just confused why he can't

653
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:27,399
Speaker 2: do things and not have such an attitude problem. He

654
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 2: got super angry at me this morning because he couldn't

655
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:33,160
Speaker 2: find any clean clothes. I had asked him multiple times

656
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:35,200
Speaker 2: in the past few weeks not to leave his dirty

657
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,440
Speaker 2: laundry on the floor in our bedroom and to put

658
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:40,040
Speaker 2: it in the laundry basket down the hall. Normally, I

659
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 2: just pick it up and put it in the basket myself,

660
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:43,720
Speaker 2: but I got sick of having to do this or

661
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:45,440
Speaker 2: having to ask him to do it. The first time

662
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:47,280
Speaker 2: I asked him to do it, he replied by saying,

663
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 2: the rest of the house was a mess, So why

664
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 2: is his dirty laundry on the floor a problem?

665
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 4: It's a great question.

666
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:52,720
Speaker 2: Are you stupid or something?

667
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:55,000
Speaker 4: What this man?

668
00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 3: Or just a question? Yeah, oh this man, Yeah, you

669
00:28:57,920 --> 00:28:58,720
Speaker 3: stupid or something?

670
00:28:58,800 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 4: I think the answer.

671
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:01,720
Speaker 2: Yes, Hey, we got mess over here.

672
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 3: It doesn't matter if I got mess over there.

673
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 6: When it's your laundry, it's your fault.

674
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:07,640
Speaker 4: Stupid man.

675
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 2: Hey, buddy, you just blowing from stupid down because you're

676
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 2: talking pretty stupid. The second time, I asked him more

677
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:14,600
Speaker 2: nicely to just put his laundry in the basket because

678
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:16,960
Speaker 2: it would help me. He nodded, Well, the past week

679
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:18,800
Speaker 2: he just kept putting his dirty laundry on the floor,

680
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 2: and I didn't pick it up. When it came time

681
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:22,760
Speaker 2: to do laundry, I just washed what was in the basket.

682
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 2: When he woke up this morning, he was furious looking

683
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:28,800
Speaker 2: for a clean shirt. He called me a wiener and

684
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 2: vindictive and passive aggressive and the app maybe it was

685
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:34,280
Speaker 2: passive aggressive, but it's frustrating to live with an adult

686
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:36,320
Speaker 2: who acts like a child. He was screaming at me

687
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,520
Speaker 2: this morning, and I still have a really bad headache

688
00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 2: from being screamed at. Am I a bad person for

689
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:43,480
Speaker 2: not picking up his dirty clothes from the floor. Typing

690
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 2: this all out makes me feel stupid. Well, don't worry,

691
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:48,800
Speaker 2: because he's the stupid one. Yeah, like this is such

692
00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:51,240
Speaker 2: a stupid argument to have, but it's not the first

693
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 2: time we've had problems like this. Honestly, I can't remember

694
00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:56,080
Speaker 2: what previous fights have been about, except I feel like

695
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 2: he blows things out of proportion and gets unreasonably angry.

696
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:01,480
Speaker 2: I cannot de with the yelling. I watched my mom

697
00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:03,640
Speaker 2: get yelled at by my dad when I was a child,

698
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 2: something he still does, and it's not something I want

699
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 2: my daughter to accept as normal. I suggested that we

700
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,560
Speaker 2: go to marriage counseling this morning after he was done

701
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:13,800
Speaker 2: yelling and we were able to talk about the laundry thing.

702
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:15,360
Speaker 2: He said it might be a good idea, but it's

703
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 2: probably expensive and we can't afford it. But he's willing

704
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,480
Speaker 2: to look up exercises for us to try on our own.

705
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:23,520
Speaker 2: I don't know what should I do. I'm really unhappy,

706
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:25,840
Speaker 2: and I feel like no considerations are being made for me,

707
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:29,160
Speaker 2: considering I'm watching our daughter all day on my own,

708
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:31,800
Speaker 2: and I'm also pregnant, Like he should not be adding

709
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 2: to my stress.

710
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:35,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's true, he should not be. I know a

711
00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 5: great thing that you could do to relieve some stress.

712
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 4: Get him out of there.

713
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:41,800
Speaker 2: I worry for the children and for the one, the

714
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 2: one that's not here yet. I don't know what kind

715
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:47,720
Speaker 2: of incomes we're rocking with. I think given what you've explained,

716
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:51,280
Speaker 2: I don't know. He sounds like he sucks, but there

717
00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:53,600
Speaker 2: had to have been something there that you liked. I

718
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 2: think you go to him and you say, hey, I

719
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 2: watched my mom get yelled at by my dad. I'm

720
00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 2: not gonna let that happen to me. I'm not gonna

721
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 2: let our daughter or see that as something that's acceptable.

722
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 2: If you do this to me continually, if this does

723
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:06,600
Speaker 2: not change, We're I'm divorcing.

724
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, because then she would be the daughter that's thinking

725
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:11,160
Speaker 5: it's acceptable, right, she wants.

726
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 4: To break that.

727
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:13,600
Speaker 2: So I didn't lay that out to him for sure.

728
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 2: You're like, if this like weird aggression and yelling continues, this.

729
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:17,520
Speaker 3: Isn't gonna happen.

730
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, very upfront, he says, I don't appreciate that he's

731
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:24,600
Speaker 2: at work all day. Oh, like every other person on

732
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:27,880
Speaker 2: the planet. Come on, man, you're not special for having

733
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:29,600
Speaker 2: to go to work all day. I'm sorry, she's growing

734
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 2: a human. So he says, I don't appreciate he's at

735
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:33,760
Speaker 2: work all day, but actually I do. I make him

736
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 2: lunch to bring to the office, I cook him dinner

737
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:38,280
Speaker 2: and clean the house so that he doesn't have to

738
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:40,400
Speaker 2: worry about those things. Being at work isn't the same

739
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:43,960
Speaker 2: thing as being accountable to a toddler all day. And

740
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:46,160
Speaker 2: we do have a little bit more story here. I mean,

741
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:49,240
Speaker 2: I'm feeling like usually we don't go for the ultimatums,

742
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 2: but you need to set like a hard like, hey,

743
00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:52,520
Speaker 2: this can't continue.

744
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:55,200
Speaker 3: You're screaming at me because you didn't do your laundry.

745
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 3: Yeah that's insane, right.

746
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, because like what are you gonna scream at the children?

747
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:00,840
Speaker 3: For right?

748
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 5: Can have that around them? I mean they already have one.

749
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:05,960
Speaker 5: I'm wonder like, what kind of screaming has been done?

750
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 2: So him being like, oh, yeah, the marriage counseling could

751
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 2: be good, but it's probably too expensive.

752
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:13,800
Speaker 3: It's like it's like, well, how much is our marriage worth?

753
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:17,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's good that he's looking up exercises to see, like,

754
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 5: you know, it's better than like other situations where it's

755
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 5: like they deny therapy and they don't even try to

756
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:23,680
Speaker 5: do their own work. Like, it's nice that he's at

757
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:26,320
Speaker 5: least trying to do his own work. But I have

758
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:29,120
Speaker 5: a feeling that therapy might be a little bit more successful.

759
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:32,440
Speaker 2: I think we need a third party. We need an impartial,

760
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 2: unbiased observer.

761
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:35,280
Speaker 4: Yeah exactly.

762
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 2: So I feel like I could easily switch places with

763
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:40,320
Speaker 2: him and go back to my old job, but he

764
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:42,400
Speaker 2: wouldn't be able to handle all the things I do

765
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 2: with our daughter all day. We take our daughter to

766
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 2: the playground on weekends sometimes, and he's ready to leave

767
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 2: after fifteen minutes, whereas I'm normally there with her for

768
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,960
Speaker 2: at least an hour every day. I kind of think

769
00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 2: he should do some sort of anger management. His dad

770
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 2: was harmful with him and his siblings when they were kids,

771
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:02,560
Speaker 2: and there it is. And though my husband is not

772
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:07,040
Speaker 2: physical with me, the yelling and seething are extremely unpleasant

773
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:07,680
Speaker 2: to be around.

774
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:11,400
Speaker 3: How can we manage our issues without a therapist? Comments?

775
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 2: Comment number one says, as your husband actually looked at

776
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 2: therapists to see how much they cost? Is he actively

777
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 2: looking for self help information? OHP says yes, we actually

778
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:21,960
Speaker 2: looked into it together a while back, the first time

779
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,800
Speaker 2: I proposed the idea. The issue is that marriage counseling

780
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:27,120
Speaker 2: is not covered by our health insurance, so it would

781
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,719
Speaker 2: be a couple hundred dollars per session. Comment number two

782
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,840
Speaker 2: is how can we manage our issues without a therapist? First,

783
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:35,320
Speaker 2: and foremost, your husband would need to have an emotional

784
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:37,760
Speaker 2: maturity and self awareness to be able to admit that

785
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 2: his behavior is unacceptable and he needs to change the

786
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:43,440
Speaker 2: way he communicates with you. He is verbally and emotionally harmful.

787
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 2: If you think he is capable of doing so, then

788
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:48,280
Speaker 2: you can try to communicate with him the things you

789
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 2: need to see change in the relationship. Your husband is

790
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:53,440
Speaker 2: harmful and needs help, and it is not your responsibility

791
00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:55,600
Speaker 2: to help him. You can't change him. You can only

792
00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 2: change the way you feel about the situation or the

793
00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:01,880
Speaker 2: situation you currently live in your parents home. The safety

794
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 2: net is already there. If it were me, I would

795
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:05,560
Speaker 2: say to him, the way you speak to me when

796
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:08,719
Speaker 2: you are upset is unacceptable. If you cannot take accountability

797
00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:11,080
Speaker 2: for your actions and make a considerable effort to change

798
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:13,279
Speaker 2: your behavior, you need to find somewhere else to live

799
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:15,799
Speaker 2: while I consider the next steps. What you allow is

800
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:17,799
Speaker 2: what will continue or apply to This says I would

801
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:19,960
Speaker 2: wait until your parents get back. He's way less likely

802
00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:21,960
Speaker 2: to be violent if there are other people there. I

803
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,000
Speaker 2: know you think he's not going to be violent, but

804
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 2: conversations like these are often where it starts.

805
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 3: Comment three says, instead of a therapist, I'd look for

806
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:30,560
Speaker 3: a divorce lawyer. He's harmful.

807
00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 2: Just because he's not physical doesn't mean, isn't it. I

808
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:35,480
Speaker 2: recommend the book Why Does He Do That? You can

809
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:38,360
Speaker 2: find free copies online. Comment for marriage counseling is for

810
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:42,239
Speaker 2: couples who care but struggle to properly communicate or beach compromises.

811
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 3: This man doesn't respect you. He's screaming at.

812
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:46,960
Speaker 2: You for not doing your job as if you were

813
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 2: an employee or servant, and even then screaming would also

814
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:51,960
Speaker 2: be a sign of a bad leader, but that's a

815
00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:54,640
Speaker 2: different story. So because he was pissed, you made him

816
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:57,640
Speaker 2: clean the litterbox, and then he punished your daughter by

817
00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:00,200
Speaker 2: taking away the time together. This problem comes from him

818
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:03,640
Speaker 2: being a selfish, irresponsible person. He would be better off

819
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 2: in individual therapy to learn how to be a decent

820
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:10,280
Speaker 2: human partner and parent. Just think about how much easier

821
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:13,800
Speaker 2: and happier your life will be without his constant bad

822
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:17,200
Speaker 2: mood and tiptoeing or fighting for him to do something

823
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:18,719
Speaker 2: he should want to do.

824
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 3: And there is a micro update here. Are we getting

825
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:21,560
Speaker 3: divorced or.

826
00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:22,520
Speaker 4: Now hopefully divorce?

827
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,160
Speaker 5: I mean, yeah, it's like even if you try to

828
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:28,360
Speaker 5: work on things sometimes you know, nigger management can be

829
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:30,840
Speaker 5: worked on, ye, But yeah, he needs to want to

830
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 5: work on it. He needs to see the impact it has,

831
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:36,720
Speaker 5: and I mean it doesn't really seem like he's seeing

832
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:39,239
Speaker 5: it because I mean, even if he's not yelling at

833
00:35:39,239 --> 00:35:41,839
Speaker 5: the kids, if he's yelling at you, and even if

834
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,279
Speaker 5: the children are like under three or something like that,

835
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:46,400
Speaker 5: that is still going to make a huge impact on

836
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:47,719
Speaker 5: their development.

837
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:49,120
Speaker 6: So you can't have that.

838
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:50,319
Speaker 3: Divorce I'm calling it.

839
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:53,960
Speaker 2: I appreciate all the comments, except the snarky ones. I

840
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,719
Speaker 2: looked into marriage counseling via our insurance provider and made

841
00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:57,839
Speaker 2: an appointment from next week.

842
00:35:57,880 --> 00:35:58,920
Speaker 3: Okay, so no divorce.

843
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:01,920
Speaker 2: I plan on making my boundaries extremely clear because I

844
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 2: do not need this kind of stress in my life

845
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 2: and refuse to repeat the cycle my parents started. If

846
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:09,880
Speaker 2: this doesn't work, then I'll take the next step towards divorce.

847
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:12,040
Speaker 2: But I want to give it a shot because he

848
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,160
Speaker 2: has not always been this way and it might be

849
00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:16,759
Speaker 2: something we can work on. I'm also looking into working again.

850
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 2: We'll see. That's the end of that story.

851
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,279
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host here. We're gonna get

852
00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 1: back to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads

853
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:23,720
Speaker 1: from our sponsors.

854
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:27,560
Speaker 2: I'm repulsed by my friend's lifestyle.

855
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:29,520
Speaker 3: What could that even mean?

856
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:33,680
Speaker 2: Throw away because this dude, thirty male is still breathing

857
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,320
Speaker 2: my air and might see it. I, thirty five female,

858
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:39,279
Speaker 2: live across the country from this old friend. We're originally

859
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:41,680
Speaker 2: from the same city in another state where we both

860
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 2: currently live, and in a moment of weakness and hospitable idiocy,

861
00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:48,520
Speaker 2: I agreed to host him at his request for a

862
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 2: holiday during my precious time off work. By the way,

863
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:54,480
Speaker 2: this comes from user public Audience sixty nine seventy eight

864
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 2: and if you want to go submit your own stories,

865
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 2: go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. My first

866
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:02,359
Speaker 2: time off in three I envisioned catching up, maybe hitting

867
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:05,560
Speaker 2: some local tourist spots I've never even seen. Being the

868
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:08,719
Speaker 2: apparently world's biggest doormat, I prepped the guest room like

869
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:09,720
Speaker 2: a five star hotel.

870
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:12,359
Speaker 3: Think brand new crisp linen.

871
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 2: And fluffy towels. It's a new room, never used. This

872
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:17,480
Speaker 2: guy was coming all the way over here, Ryan, I

873
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:19,840
Speaker 2: might as well make it look nie. He initially suggested

874
00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:22,560
Speaker 2: dates that would have meant me driving a ridiculous five

875
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 2: hours each way twice in one week. So being the

876
00:37:25,719 --> 00:37:28,360
Speaker 2: problem solver I am, I suggested he fly in a

877
00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:31,640
Speaker 2: few days earlier. The reward he gets my spare front

878
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:34,239
Speaker 2: row ticket worth two hundred and sixty bucks to see

879
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:37,000
Speaker 2: a pop punk band we both love. Sold out show,

880
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:39,719
Speaker 2: had mates practically throwing cash at me for it, but

881
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:42,719
Speaker 2: new I thought a nice friendship gesture. We agreed to

882
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,479
Speaker 2: split the cost of the extra night of accommodation I'd

883
00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:47,680
Speaker 2: need in the city because it was a cheaper flight

884
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:50,279
Speaker 2: to Land a day before my original travel plans. I

885
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:53,040
Speaker 2: booked a decent place. We both gave a thumbs up

886
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:56,239
Speaker 2: to airport pickup day arrives. Despite a recent photo he'd

887
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 2: sent weeks before, I genuinely did a double take.

888
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:00,920
Speaker 3: He wasn't just a bit scruffy.

889
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:05,360
Speaker 2: He was full blown homeless chic, complete with the unmistakable

890
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:08,320
Speaker 2: aroma of a thousand stale cigarettes clinging to him like

891
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:11,000
Speaker 2: a second skin. I was floored. The last time I'd

892
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:13,400
Speaker 2: seen him, he was all clean cut and professional, and

893
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:16,400
Speaker 2: the recent photo, well, that turns out to be ancient,

894
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:20,320
Speaker 2: a whole year old ancient. Being the idiotically polite person

895
00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:22,879
Speaker 2: I am, I shouted him dinner that night, take out

896
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:26,200
Speaker 2: from this amazing but pricey Italian place I always treat

897
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:27,200
Speaker 2: myself too in the city.

898
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:30,080
Speaker 3: Did he let me enjoy my forty dollars carbonara?

899
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:32,640
Speaker 2: Nope? He wolfed down his food like he hadn't eaten

900
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:35,600
Speaker 2: in days, and then immediately suggested we go get drinks.

901
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:38,200
Speaker 2: So I reluctantly boxed up my food after a mouthful

902
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:41,200
Speaker 2: and drove him to a bottle shop in the CBD,

903
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:44,720
Speaker 2: despite him having ample time beforehand to get stuff back

904
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:48,399
Speaker 2: at the hotel. The catching up was punctuated every ten

905
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:51,160
Speaker 2: minutes by him needing to have a smoke.

906
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:53,120
Speaker 3: It wasn't a casual thing.

907
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:56,080
Speaker 2: It was a ritual TV show pause for a smoke,

908
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:58,440
Speaker 2: gossip session, smoke break movie.

909
00:38:58,800 --> 00:38:59,520
Speaker 3: You guessed it.

910
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:02,640
Speaker 2: Look, I really don't care what you do, but constantly

911
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:04,640
Speaker 2: interrupting everything was getting annoying.

912
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:05,920
Speaker 3: Now. I'm a tidy person.

913
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 2: I respect other people's spaces, especially when I'm a guest.

914
00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 2: But the state he left the hotel room in was criminal.

915
00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:16,719
Speaker 2: Tobacco shreds, rolling papers, filters scattered like confetti, empty bottles

916
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:19,960
Speaker 2: multiplying like rabbits, and just a general aura of filth

917
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:25,000
Speaker 2: emanating from his corner. Surprise, surprise, surprise, no Venmo request

918
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:28,080
Speaker 2: ever materialized for his half of the accommodation. I had

919
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:30,400
Speaker 2: some crucial shopping to do for a job interview, and

920
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:32,759
Speaker 2: new clothes were a must. Living in a tiny town

921
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:35,719
Speaker 2: with limited options and working crazy hours meant this was

922
00:39:35,719 --> 00:39:38,840
Speaker 2: my only opportunity. He insisted on coming along, which involved

923
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:41,680
Speaker 2: him awkwardly trailing me through the women's department while I

924
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,880
Speaker 2: tried to maintain some semblance of social grace Despite the

925
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:49,520
Speaker 2: discomfort finally the concert. Six months I'd been waiting for this.

926
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:52,560
Speaker 2: We get there and poof, he vanishes into the crowd

927
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:55,399
Speaker 2: to socialize with strangers. Fine. I grab a drink, find

928
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:58,080
Speaker 2: my incredible front row seat, and send him a screenshot

929
00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:01,160
Speaker 2: of his ticket and seat number. Forty minutes, he reappears

930
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:04,279
Speaker 2: with three drinks for himself, a lukewarm drink for me,

931
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 2: and half a cup of now Stone cold fries he'd

932
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:11,800
Speaker 2: apparently sampled en route. I politely declined his leftovers, mentioned

933
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:14,200
Speaker 2: I had my own food, and pointed out the first

934
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 2: band was starting. I thanked him for the drink and

935
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:18,080
Speaker 2: set it aside. Not a big drinker, and I already

936
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:20,200
Speaker 2: had one two songs into the opening act, which he

937
00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:22,440
Speaker 2: declared he didn't really like. Anyway, he gets up and

938
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,480
Speaker 2: leaves again. Okay, rude, but honestly I was a bit relieved.

939
00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:27,239
Speaker 2: I don't agree with that. I don't know if I

940
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:29,720
Speaker 2: have any concert goers. But this is the opening act.

941
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:31,880
Speaker 2: This is not the main event. This is like the

942
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:33,920
Speaker 2: time you wander around the venue.

943
00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:34,319
Speaker 7: Yeah.

944
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:37,200
Speaker 2: I texted him updates about the main band starting. He

945
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:41,280
Speaker 2: finally appeared with another three drinks and another unwanted drink

946
00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:44,239
Speaker 2: for me. He'd clearly been at the bar, throwing him

947
00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:46,839
Speaker 2: back and smoking the whole opening act. He came back

948
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 2: smelling like a walking chimney, and then started mashing and

949
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:52,239
Speaker 2: throwing his arms around in the seeded area. I had

950
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 2: to physically move our drinks and apologize to the people

951
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 2: around us. We had also paid good money for a

952
00:40:56,239 --> 00:40:59,440
Speaker 2: decent view. This continued the entire main set, only stopping

953
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:01,680
Speaker 2: when he went for his frequent bar runs, each time

954
00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:03,920
Speaker 2: returning with yet another drink I didn't want. After I

955
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:05,719
Speaker 2: told him I didn't want to drink anymore. I'm just

956
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:09,640
Speaker 2: not comfortable getting that drunk, especially around someone acting like this.

957
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:13,360
Speaker 2: I'm not easily embarrassed, but oh my goodness, I was mortified.

958
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:15,719
Speaker 2: You just don't act like that in public, and if

959
00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:18,600
Speaker 2: you want to go into the ga, go into the pit.

960
00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:21,279
Speaker 2: But even the venue didn't condone that behavior. People were

961
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:24,839
Speaker 2: pretty mature and respectful, even in general assembly. After the show,

962
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 2: mister social butterfly, I wanted to keep mingling. I just

963
00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:29,040
Speaker 2: wanted to escape back to the hotel for some peace

964
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:32,320
Speaker 2: after a mentally and physically exhausting week. Leaving, I bumped

965
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:34,800
Speaker 2: into some acquaintances from my town. As I was chatting.

966
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:38,719
Speaker 2: He caught up acting wasted and disorderly, so I awkwardly

967
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:41,520
Speaker 2: excused us. Leaving the venue, he walked straight into a

968
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:44,080
Speaker 2: security guard, who naturally asked if he was okay. This

969
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:47,359
Speaker 2: sent my friend into a bizarre mini rage. I had

970
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:49,759
Speaker 2: to physically pull him back and explain the guard did

971
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:53,080
Speaker 2: nothing wrong he did, which he eventually conceded. We started

972
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:55,840
Speaker 2: walking to find an uber away from the concert chaos.

973
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:59,120
Speaker 2: He was wandering around trying to hug strangers and bumming smokes,

974
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 2: looking like a disheveled swamp creature who hadn't seen soap

975
00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:05,480
Speaker 2: in weeks. Seriously, no toothbrush, comb or toiletrees for a

976
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:09,000
Speaker 2: ten day trip. People were actively avoiding him, and I

977
00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 2: was trying to distance myself. I ended up walking and

978
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:14,520
Speaker 2: talking with some other gig goers until I found a

979
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:18,480
Speaker 2: decent uber spot. The fifteen minute ride back was excruciating.

980
00:42:18,560 --> 00:42:22,120
Speaker 2: He rambled NonStop about his lack of a spicy sleep life,

981
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:24,800
Speaker 2: his newfound love for living on a boat and life

982
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:29,520
Speaker 2: being a massive hothead news to me, and his dislike

983
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:32,680
Speaker 2: for Indian food to our Indian driver Q more apologies

984
00:42:32,719 --> 00:42:34,720
Speaker 2: for me. Back in the hotel, I was getting ready

985
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:37,280
Speaker 2: for bed while he made creepy comments and wouldn't stop

986
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:38,719
Speaker 2: talking at me for a solid hour.

987
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:40,480
Speaker 3: He fixated on which bed I was sleeping.

988
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:43,360
Speaker 2: It finally had to unleash my inner boss girl voice

989
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:45,399
Speaker 2: and tell him enough was enough and that we would

990
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:47,400
Speaker 2: have a problem if he didn't start respecting what I

991
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:49,200
Speaker 2: had been saying for the past hour and to go

992
00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:51,279
Speaker 2: to bed. The next day, I was left cleaning up

993
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 2: his mess in the hotel. I'm not one to leave

994
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:56,000
Speaker 2: a disaster for housekeeping. He didn't shower that morning. Then

995
00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:59,560
Speaker 2: a delightful five hour drive back to my house with

996
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:03,400
Speaker 2: his boat iohazard. Seriously, the smell was potent. I'm a

997
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:06,880
Speaker 2: pretty tidy person, even if I have an alternative lifestyle.

998
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 2: I take pride in my appearance and in not smelling

999
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:10,560
Speaker 2: like a dumpster fire.

1000
00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:12,640
Speaker 3: The drive was a monologue about boat.

1001
00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:15,239
Speaker 2: Life, and he was explaining how he has my bathroom

1002
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 2: on board, but he's showering at the boat club, how

1003
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:20,799
Speaker 2: amazing it is not having to pay for anything. His

1004
00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:25,240
Speaker 2: medical devil's lettuce prescription he wanted filled, despite me explaining

1005
00:43:25,239 --> 00:43:28,120
Speaker 2: our pharmacies don't work like that and I don't partake,

1006
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:31,200
Speaker 2: and how it's mostly recreational but the prescription keeps him

1007
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:33,840
Speaker 2: out of troubling public. He also kept finishing my sentences

1008
00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:36,200
Speaker 2: incorrectly anytime I'd try and speak. I just wanted to

1009
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:38,920
Speaker 2: listen to music, and he was actively repelling me. We

1010
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:41,839
Speaker 2: stopped at a famous cave about an hour from home.

1011
00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:44,279
Speaker 2: It's actually pretty cool if you've never seen one. He'd

1012
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:47,479
Speaker 2: never seen anything like it, but acted completely disinterested. Didn't

1013
00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:49,879
Speaker 2: walk with me, he didn't speak, just stood apart from

1014
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:52,680
Speaker 2: the tour group, no photos, didn't listen to the guide.

1015
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:53,200
Speaker 3: Bizarre.

1016
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:56,800
Speaker 2: Trying to salvage something, I bought him a small, expensive

1017
00:43:56,880 --> 00:43:59,760
Speaker 2: fossil keychain for his boat keys. He mumbled the thanks

1018
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:02,400
Speaker 2: and pocketed it. Finally home, I gave him a tour

1019
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:05,520
Speaker 2: of my small house. He immediately planked himself on the couch,

1020
00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:08,239
Speaker 2: turned all my Xbox, and started downloading a game on

1021
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:11,920
Speaker 2: my main TV. Rude, so I started unpacking. Then midgame,

1022
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 2: he silently got up and went to shower without saying

1023
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:17,200
Speaker 2: a word to me, now monopolizing my bathroom and main TV.

1024
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:19,400
Speaker 2: When he was finally done, I mentioned I needed to

1025
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:22,400
Speaker 2: get food and pet supplies. He tagged along for toiletries,

1026
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:25,800
Speaker 2: but only wanting drinks. He bought a thirty rack. Whilst

1027
00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:28,040
Speaker 2: my house rule is that I don't drink at home,

1028
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:30,239
Speaker 2: I'm fine with someone else having a few drinks with

1029
00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:32,200
Speaker 2: dinner or something. I went to bed early for a

1030
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:36,320
Speaker 2: thirteen hour workday. I woke up to a disaster zone. Cans,

1031
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 2: smoking devices everywhere. I cleaned it before work, but I

1032
00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:44,120
Speaker 2: was pretty disgusted. He left my living area and outside

1033
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 2: deck looking like a drop trash can.

1034
00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:48,440
Speaker 3: No phone allowed at work, so I was unreachable.

1035
00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 2: I left some cash and a note that if he's

1036
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:52,960
Speaker 2: going to use my spare car, it needs fuel. I

1037
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:56,160
Speaker 2: was very, very reluctant to leave him access to this car,

1038
00:44:56,239 --> 00:44:58,280
Speaker 2: as it's new and modified and one of my pride

1039
00:44:58,320 --> 00:44:58,760
Speaker 2: and joys.

1040
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:03,080
Speaker 6: Oh no, are you actually a silly baby now?

1041
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:07,280
Speaker 2: Gaga came home to find he'd rearranged my outdoor patio

1042
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:11,480
Speaker 2: furniture and moved my fire pit under my plastic roofed deck. Seriously,

1043
00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:16,080
Speaker 2: no asking inside, more dishes, a broken Xbox controller, cable,

1044
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:20,719
Speaker 2: and more adult soda cans. Bathroom covered in beard shavings.

1045
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:23,920
Speaker 2: I cleaned it again next morning, cleaned up more empty cans,

1046
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:26,960
Speaker 2: dish is still there, coffee grounds everywhere. I was late

1047
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:29,799
Speaker 2: for work, got home after another brutal shift. He was

1048
00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:33,520
Speaker 2: sprawled out with dirty bare feet with black soles on

1049
00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:34,240
Speaker 2: my furniture.

1050
00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:35,960
Speaker 3: Guest room was a disaster.

1051
00:45:36,280 --> 00:45:39,600
Speaker 2: His clothes were everywhere, blankets in heaps, a real plant

1052
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:43,960
Speaker 2: I keep in there, broken and uprooted. How bathroom a

1053
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:47,640
Speaker 2: biohazard of water and hair dishes overflowing the sink, coffee

1054
00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:51,320
Speaker 2: powder coating everything, and a mountain of my expensive disposable

1055
00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:54,280
Speaker 2: coffee cups he'd been using as drinking vessels. He'd gone

1056
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:58,120
Speaker 2: through two weeks worth in two days because he didn't

1057
00:45:58,280 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 2: want to look for a mug.

1058
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:01,400
Speaker 3: The mug were literally right there.

1059
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 2: He'd also rated my sheds and tools for things he

1060
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:08,160
Speaker 2: wanted to use, downloaded more games, and use my laundry facilities,

1061
00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:10,880
Speaker 2: all without a word, but asking where a mug was

1062
00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:14,200
Speaker 2: apparently crossed the line. The car, my beloved two year

1063
00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 2: old Day's prior serviced hot hatch with brand new tires.

1064
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:18,600
Speaker 6: I can't listen to this.

1065
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:21,320
Speaker 2: I told him it needed premium fuel and even left cash.

1066
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:23,120
Speaker 2: He drove it on fumes and left it in my

1067
00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:26,239
Speaker 2: driveway covered in bird poop. When I realized days later,

1068
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:28,000
Speaker 2: I asked why he didn't fill it up, and he

1069
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:29,920
Speaker 2: stated he thought I was just leaving him cash for

1070
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:33,280
Speaker 2: no reason, as if I owed him or something. Finally,

1071
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:36,279
Speaker 2: now it's my day off Thursday. We have a five

1072
00:46:36,320 --> 00:46:39,319
Speaker 2: hour drive for my job interview interstate. His dad was

1073
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:41,680
Speaker 2: meeting him nearby for lunch. I made sure we left

1074
00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:43,880
Speaker 2: early so I could drop him off where he wanted

1075
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:46,200
Speaker 2: to be. After my interview, I called to pick him up.

1076
00:46:46,239 --> 00:46:49,000
Speaker 2: He'd spent the afternoon trying to fill his Devil's Lettuce

1077
00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:51,760
Speaker 2: prescription and was twenty minutes south of where I dropped

1078
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:54,319
Speaker 2: him off, so forty minutes total from where I was.

1079
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:57,240
Speaker 2: I offered to drive part way he could uber the rest.

1080
00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:59,200
Speaker 2: I said I would stop and get some food and

1081
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:01,120
Speaker 2: by the time he got there, I would be finished

1082
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:02,920
Speaker 2: and we could leave while it was still light out.

1083
00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:04,600
Speaker 3: However, when he arrived.

1084
00:47:04,239 --> 00:47:07,880
Speaker 2: He then ate a whole second lunch and drinks while

1085
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:10,680
Speaker 2: I was finishing mine. The drive home was a hot

1086
00:47:10,719 --> 00:47:15,920
Speaker 2: box of cigarette and Devil lettuce fumes. I tried subtle perfume,

1087
00:47:16,160 --> 00:47:18,800
Speaker 2: but it was overwhelming. Four and a half hours of terrifying,

1088
00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:22,880
Speaker 2: dark back roads with kangaroos with no regard for human life.

1089
00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:25,480
Speaker 3: He spent the drive rolling more stuff.

1090
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:28,640
Speaker 2: He didn't help with anything, not even cleaning his own

1091
00:47:28,719 --> 00:47:30,840
Speaker 2: rubbish out of the car each time we stopped, and

1092
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:34,240
Speaker 2: even grabbing my water I just bought after the last stop,

1093
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:37,600
Speaker 2: claiming a dry throat from his schmoking. It's important to

1094
00:47:37,680 --> 00:47:39,919
Speaker 2: note that I'm a well known professional here. I don't

1095
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:42,239
Speaker 2: do that stuff at home, and I'm not comfortable being

1096
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:45,160
Speaker 2: seen with someone like this. He's this tall, gaunt dude

1097
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:47,799
Speaker 2: with dirty, matted hair and clothes that don't fit. I'm

1098
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:51,640
Speaker 2: usually in pretty casual but tidy think clean vans and

1099
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:54,720
Speaker 2: a hoodie if I'm not in a business attire for work.

1100
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:58,640
Speaker 2: On the drive home, he argued about wildlife accident stats

1101
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:02,000
Speaker 2: and tried deman'splain auto to me, scoffing when I corrected

1102
00:48:02,040 --> 00:48:04,640
Speaker 2: him about the facts, and consistently telling me I was

1103
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:07,480
Speaker 2: wrong about things. I actually have autism. He does not.

1104
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:11,080
Speaker 2: His manner of conversation was unpleasant to be around. I

1105
00:48:11,160 --> 00:48:14,360
Speaker 2: got home late to find his now three day old dishes,

1106
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:16,880
Speaker 2: including my three hundred and fifty dollars chef's knife, soaking

1107
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:19,080
Speaker 2: in the sink. Still I did them visibly fuming. He

1108
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:19,680
Speaker 2: asked what was.

1109
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:20,719
Speaker 3: Wrong and if he could help.

1110
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:22,640
Speaker 2: I told him that it would be respectful if he

1111
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:24,640
Speaker 2: did his own housekeeping. I went straight to bed. He

1112
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:28,000
Speaker 2: stayed up watching TV. Friday, exhausted, had a Zoom interview

1113
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:30,319
Speaker 2: at seven thirty in the morning, my time with the

1114
00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:33,279
Speaker 2: same company. I just drove in out of state for it.

1115
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:35,799
Speaker 2: Got up at six to shower and dress after I

1116
00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:38,960
Speaker 2: went grocery shopping. Still no contribution from him. He did

1117
00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 2: some gardening my edges fine, not expected, but appreciated, and

1118
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,240
Speaker 2: then back to my Xbox feet on the couch, drink

1119
00:48:45,280 --> 00:48:47,799
Speaker 2: in hand. I spent four hours cooking when I got

1120
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:49,640
Speaker 2: home because I didn't have anything else to do in

1121
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:53,520
Speaker 2: my own house. Because he was engrossed in my video

1122
00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:56,759
Speaker 2: game console. His thanks felt fake, complete with a backhanded

1123
00:48:56,760 --> 00:48:59,839
Speaker 2: compliment about a vegan me cooking chicken. Well, I used

1124
00:48:59,880 --> 00:49:02,840
Speaker 2: to be a chef. It's not rocket science. His whole

1125
00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:07,200
Speaker 2: personality felt forced and fate. He spent the night outside

1126
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:10,600
Speaker 2: by my still under the deck fire pit smoking the

1127
00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:12,759
Speaker 2: rest of the night. He made several suggestions that I

1128
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:14,560
Speaker 2: come outside and drink and sit with him, but I

1129
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:19,000
Speaker 2: politely declined because sitting around a wasted smoker all night

1130
00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:21,880
Speaker 2: generally does not sound like a good time. Or a

1131
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:24,520
Speaker 2: social time for me, and frankly, I find it disrespectful

1132
00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 2: in my home when you are a guest. I still

1133
00:49:26,640 --> 00:49:28,600
Speaker 2: tried to be a decent human the following day and

1134
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:31,600
Speaker 2: took him to the coast. You are misunderstanding what a

1135
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:34,320
Speaker 2: decent human is, I think, rest assured.

1136
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:37,480
Speaker 3: OHP, you are, sweetheart. However, we gotta have times in

1137
00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:39,000
Speaker 3: our life where we aren't so sweet.

1138
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:42,319
Speaker 5: Why maybe the diagnosis maybe, well yeah, I.

1139
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:44,239
Speaker 2: Think that really informs it all. That's where it's like,

1140
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:46,440
Speaker 2: especially coming from like I still tried to be a

1141
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:48,560
Speaker 2: decent human being, so I took him so OHP. He

1142
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:51,520
Speaker 2: clearly has a lot of ideals and ideas about like this,

1143
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:52,960
Speaker 2: what's a good person?

1144
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:55,040
Speaker 3: How to be good? Yeah, you have to do to

1145
00:49:55,080 --> 00:49:55,319
Speaker 3: be good?

1146
00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 2: So it's like maybe just yeah, telling him like, hey,

1147
00:49:58,080 --> 00:49:59,839
Speaker 2: you can't do this, You're doing this wrong, get out

1148
00:49:59,840 --> 00:50:00,719
Speaker 2: of my house right now.

1149
00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:02,240
Speaker 3: I'm a bad HARSI right.

1150
00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:05,440
Speaker 5: So that's an important reminder for me because I'm losing

1151
00:50:05,480 --> 00:50:06,160
Speaker 5: my patience.

1152
00:50:06,200 --> 00:50:10,320
Speaker 2: He was silent and disinterested. Same with visiting historical sites.

1153
00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:13,400
Speaker 2: All he wanted to do was smoke in public. On

1154
00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:15,440
Speaker 2: the way back home, we stopped at the supermarket, so

1155
00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:17,799
Speaker 2: I could grab something quickly, and he wandered off to

1156
00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:21,200
Speaker 2: buy another thirty rack. This is following on from Monday

1157
00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:24,400
Speaker 2: night and Wednesdays to six packs. He went back to

1158
00:50:24,440 --> 00:50:28,600
Speaker 2: my desk, now a empty can graveyard, and had at

1159
00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:31,279
Speaker 2: some point gone through my shed defined an extension cord

1160
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:34,200
Speaker 2: and power adapters to run from my upstairs laundry to

1161
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:36,880
Speaker 2: power his outdoor video game sessions. There is now a

1162
00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:40,759
Speaker 2: layer of ash, a sooty mix, and the cardboard he

1163
00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:44,520
Speaker 2: keeps burning is accumulating over the back patio furniture. My

1164
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 2: back patio table is beginning to look like the inside

1165
00:50:47,360 --> 00:50:50,800
Speaker 2: of Eights with the paraphernalia of his habits and the

1166
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:54,840
Speaker 2: rubbish of him barely leaving the vicinity in days. Saturday, officially,

1167
00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:57,200
Speaker 2: at my breaking point, stayed in my room until ten

1168
00:50:57,239 --> 00:50:59,279
Speaker 2: am for peace. He got up when he heard me

1169
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:01,560
Speaker 2: get up, made coffee and went back to the debt.

1170
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:04,040
Speaker 2: I had a rest day, cooked for myself and my neighbors.

1171
00:51:04,160 --> 00:51:06,560
Speaker 2: He smoked the entire day, spoke to me at two

1172
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:08,800
Speaker 2: pm to ask if I wanted anything from the shops.

1173
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:11,080
Speaker 2: He returned with more drinks. I called my dad devent

1174
00:51:11,239 --> 00:51:13,359
Speaker 2: didn't cook the big roast dinner I said I would

1175
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:15,760
Speaker 2: because I felt my hospitality was being taken for granted.

1176
00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 2: He finally asked if I was okay after I told

1177
00:51:18,239 --> 00:51:20,200
Speaker 2: him I didn't feel like cooking anymore. I laid it

1178
00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:24,320
Speaker 2: all out, concert behavior, disrespect for my home, the drinking,

1179
00:51:24,440 --> 00:51:27,759
Speaker 2: his appearance, his choices, pushing me away, my home being

1180
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:31,400
Speaker 2: my sanctuary, and outlining a multitude of disrespectful behavior he

1181
00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:33,800
Speaker 2: had shown me over the past week. He also attempted

1182
00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:37,440
Speaker 2: to gaslight me about splitting costs, stayed in here, made

1183
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:40,640
Speaker 2: several attempts at asking for my bank information, and I

1184
00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:43,400
Speaker 2: hadn't been forthcoming. I showed him proof none of that

1185
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:46,080
Speaker 2: was correct, and he had made no attempts during conversation

1186
00:51:46,239 --> 00:51:48,320
Speaker 2: online or in person to pay his share. He just

1187
00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:50,239
Speaker 2: said he was sorry things have worked out this way

1188
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:52,680
Speaker 2: and fine with the friendship ending, then went back to

1189
00:51:52,760 --> 00:51:54,880
Speaker 2: smoking and drinking. Don't you wish you would have just

1190
00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:56,520
Speaker 2: thrown him out the first day?

1191
00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:56,799
Speaker 7: Now?

1192
00:51:57,040 --> 00:51:58,000
Speaker 3: Who is this guy?

1193
00:51:58,239 --> 00:52:03,239
Speaker 2: I don't care at all about this guy. This guy

1194
00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:07,279
Speaker 2: can go live his little dgen life by himself, without me,

1195
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:11,319
Speaker 2: without you, without anyone else who doesn't want to participate,

1196
00:52:11,400 --> 00:52:13,160
Speaker 2: and you can be okay with that because this is

1197
00:52:13,200 --> 00:52:16,399
Speaker 2: a guy who fully doesn't care. Oh and by the way,

1198
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:19,360
Speaker 2: THHC can be toxic to dogs. My two friendchies have

1199
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:22,520
Speaker 2: been locked inside most nice because he's out there smoking too. Man,

1200
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:25,279
Speaker 2: I'm not sleeping because I have to wait until he

1201
00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:27,239
Speaker 2: goes to bed so I can take them outside for

1202
00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:29,600
Speaker 2: toilet and then again before he gets up in the morning.

1203
00:52:29,680 --> 00:52:33,239
Speaker 2: There are a million, billion, trillion other little things, but

1204
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:35,799
Speaker 2: you can get the gist of how he's been a

1205
00:52:35,960 --> 00:52:38,000
Speaker 2: terrible house guest. I just want to make it clear

1206
00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:40,520
Speaker 2: that I have no problem with people smoking like chimneys

1207
00:52:40,600 --> 00:52:41,920
Speaker 2: or getting baked and waste it.

1208
00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:44,560
Speaker 3: But do it in your time and your place.

1209
00:52:44,800 --> 00:52:47,399
Speaker 2: It's considerate to do so, Like I don't know your

1210
00:52:47,400 --> 00:52:49,799
Speaker 2: own house or your friend's house who also partakes in

1211
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:52,120
Speaker 2: that kind of behavior, and not in someone's house that

1212
00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:54,399
Speaker 2: you know for a fact, set a higher standard of

1213
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:56,440
Speaker 2: their personal life and their home life. I am a

1214
00:52:56,440 --> 00:52:59,239
Speaker 2: working professional and I have worked very hard to give

1215
00:52:59,280 --> 00:53:01,920
Speaker 2: myself a comfortable life, working for everything I have with

1216
00:53:01,960 --> 00:53:04,400
Speaker 2: no handouts, so I take a lot of pride in

1217
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:08,320
Speaker 2: my home and my reputation. Besides the expense of setting

1218
00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:10,680
Speaker 2: up a guest room, I've also spent four hundred and

1219
00:53:10,719 --> 00:53:12,920
Speaker 2: fifty dollars on fuel for our travels, two hundred and

1220
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:15,160
Speaker 2: sixty dollars on a ticket, three hundred dollars on food

1221
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:17,879
Speaker 2: and take away, and three hundred and twenty dollars on accommodation.

1222
00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:20,760
Speaker 2: And all I've asked for is one hundred and sixty bucks,

1223
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:23,600
Speaker 2: which was agreed upon when we planned and when I

1224
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:26,239
Speaker 2: booked and last week before he flew out. So am

1225
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:28,959
Speaker 2: I the aoor for telling him his airport drop off

1226
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:32,160
Speaker 2: on Tuesday will be his farewell tour. I feel guilty,

1227
00:53:32,200 --> 00:53:33,600
Speaker 2: but I'm beyond done.

1228
00:53:33,719 --> 00:53:36,920
Speaker 7: I'm gonna say something. Yeah, go please, I guarantee you

1229
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:39,920
Speaker 7: he doesn't care. Oh for sure, he's not gonna pay

1230
00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:40,160
Speaker 7: that back.

1231
00:53:40,239 --> 00:53:43,359
Speaker 3: He's already this friend has already told you. I mean, yeah,

1232
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:45,320
Speaker 3: I'm okay with it being the end of the friendship.

1233
00:53:45,440 --> 00:53:45,920
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1234
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:47,520
Speaker 3: So, and guess what. Guess what?

1235
00:53:47,680 --> 00:53:49,319
Speaker 7: When you do that, you're like, oh wait, I get

1236
00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:51,240
Speaker 7: my one sixty. He's like, we're not friends anymore.

1237
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:53,160
Speaker 6: Bye, that's what you bring business.

1238
00:53:53,280 --> 00:53:54,759
Speaker 4: Be like, okay, great, now we're not friends, and now

1239
00:53:54,719 --> 00:53:55,200
Speaker 4: I don't.

1240
00:53:55,040 --> 00:53:55,799
Speaker 6: Have to be nice to you.

1241
00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:58,640
Speaker 5: Give me the freaking money, and I demand even more

1242
00:53:58,760 --> 00:54:00,760
Speaker 5: because as a friend, I'm not gonna cut your crap.

1243
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:03,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would just send him a Venmo request literally

1244
00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:05,880
Speaker 2: every day I have. I would set up a bot

1245
00:54:06,040 --> 00:54:09,720
Speaker 2: that automatically sends him that Vemo request. Got over and over,

1246
00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:11,680
Speaker 2: Yeah over, here's John.

1247
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:12,040
Speaker 3: You og host.

1248
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:13,480
Speaker 2: Here. We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's

1249
00:54:13,480 --> 00:54:15,680
Speaker 2: a quick three minute break of ass from our sponsors.

1250
00:54:16,480 --> 00:54:20,400
Speaker 5: I lied to my friend because she's the worst guest ever.

1251
00:54:20,880 --> 00:54:23,759
Speaker 3: Why don't you serve her help in the truth? Huh.

1252
00:54:23,800 --> 00:54:26,200
Speaker 5: I'm a fifteen female and I've recently just gone on

1253
00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:29,600
Speaker 5: summer break my friend, sixteen female who I consider one

1254
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:33,480
Speaker 5: of my closest friends, though I'm reconsidering now love sleeping

1255
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:35,959
Speaker 5: over at my house. By the way, this comes from

1256
00:54:36,160 --> 00:54:38,080
Speaker 5: Eli the Best Guy, And if you want to submit

1257
00:54:38,120 --> 00:54:40,160
Speaker 5: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime

1258
00:54:40,239 --> 00:54:40,720
Speaker 5: step Breddit.

1259
00:54:40,880 --> 00:54:42,680
Speaker 6: For one, her parents are super.

1260
00:54:42,440 --> 00:54:44,480
Speaker 5: Strict when it comes to junk food, so she has

1261
00:54:44,560 --> 00:54:47,680
Speaker 5: to eat vegan and organic when she's at her own house.

1262
00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:49,799
Speaker 5: And for another, she enjoys coming over to my house

1263
00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:52,480
Speaker 5: to use my TV and other electronic devices on top

1264
00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:54,759
Speaker 5: of the pool and tennis court in our neighborhood. I've

1265
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:57,120
Speaker 5: never had many friends growing up. So at first I

1266
00:54:57,200 --> 00:54:59,960
Speaker 5: was ecstatic to have both of my friends over the first.

1267
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,080
Speaker 5: This time they came over was fine and everything, but

1268
00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:04,720
Speaker 5: I noticed some red flags that I chose to ignore.

1269
00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:06,839
Speaker 5: On top of that, it was both of their first

1270
00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:08,680
Speaker 5: times in my house, so they were a lot more

1271
00:55:08,719 --> 00:55:11,520
Speaker 5: respectful now. One of my friends was fine, but my

1272
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:14,920
Speaker 5: other friend, Tara bake name kept insisting that we have

1273
00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:17,759
Speaker 5: more sleepovers. So far, we've had a total of four

1274
00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:21,040
Speaker 5: ish sleepovers, and for three of them it's only been

1275
00:55:21,040 --> 00:55:23,320
Speaker 5: me and my friend Tara, as my other friend's parents

1276
00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:25,480
Speaker 5: were a lot more strict. The more and more my

1277
00:55:25,520 --> 00:55:28,399
Speaker 5: friend comes over, the less and less I want her

1278
00:55:28,400 --> 00:55:31,120
Speaker 5: to come over again. It's not that it was inherently

1279
00:55:31,160 --> 00:55:33,720
Speaker 5: boring or that she was the worst possible guest ever,

1280
00:55:33,760 --> 00:55:36,440
Speaker 5: but she becomes less and less respectful at my house.

1281
00:55:36,480 --> 00:55:37,040
Speaker 4: The worst of.

1282
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:38,360
Speaker 6: It is eating my food.

1283
00:55:38,480 --> 00:55:41,000
Speaker 5: From the moment she comes over, She's basically eaten half

1284
00:55:41,080 --> 00:55:43,279
Speaker 5: my entire pantry. The first time she came over, she

1285
00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:46,160
Speaker 5: would steal food from my kitchen without my permission. She

1286
00:55:46,239 --> 00:55:48,319
Speaker 5: also thinks that just because I grab a drink from

1287
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:50,680
Speaker 5: my kitchen that she deserves some food and drinks too.

1288
00:55:50,760 --> 00:55:52,560
Speaker 5: I remember getting a cup of juice from my kitchen

1289
00:55:52,560 --> 00:55:54,560
Speaker 5: and she confronts me saying, I saw you grab that

1290
00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:55,360
Speaker 5: cup of juice.

1291
00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:56,120
Speaker 6: Where's mine.

1292
00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:59,480
Speaker 5: I remember thinking how disrespectful and rude that was, especially because.

1293
00:55:59,239 --> 00:56:00,720
Speaker 4: It's not her food or snacks.

1294
00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:02,320
Speaker 5: It's got to the point that I don't eat or

1295
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:05,080
Speaker 5: drink anything from my kitchen regularly when she's over. She

1296
00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:08,160
Speaker 5: has the same concepts that whenever hits your birthday, she

1297
00:56:08,280 --> 00:56:09,400
Speaker 5: deserves some presents too.

1298
00:56:09,560 --> 00:56:11,160
Speaker 6: The second time she came over.

1299
00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:13,000
Speaker 5: I even hit some of the foods that I had

1300
00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:15,520
Speaker 5: bought from the store under my bed, which she thankfully

1301
00:56:15,640 --> 00:56:17,719
Speaker 5: didn't find. At first, I chalked it up to me

1302
00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:20,279
Speaker 5: being selfish and not wanting to share food. But the

1303
00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:22,600
Speaker 5: problem is is that I only get a certain amount

1304
00:56:22,600 --> 00:56:24,680
Speaker 5: of snacks weekly. I have to ration them so that

1305
00:56:24,719 --> 00:56:27,160
Speaker 5: I can have snacks through the entire week. Otherwise I

1306
00:56:27,200 --> 00:56:29,600
Speaker 5: have to go hours without food. And my mom isn't

1307
00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:31,640
Speaker 5: well off enough to feed two other children, so she

1308
00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:33,839
Speaker 5: doesn't like them spending the night either. The worst part

1309
00:56:33,880 --> 00:56:36,160
Speaker 5: is that she shaves me constantly for having junk food,

1310
00:56:36,160 --> 00:56:38,520
Speaker 5: and meanwhile she eats half of my kitchen. She once

1311
00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:41,040
Speaker 5: told me that whenever she came back from my house.

1312
00:56:41,040 --> 00:56:43,920
Speaker 5: Her father said that she stunk and opened the windows.

1313
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:46,799
Speaker 5: I felt incredibly insecure and got really upset at her

1314
00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:49,440
Speaker 5: that she would openly admit that she and her dad

1315
00:56:49,520 --> 00:56:52,080
Speaker 5: laughed at my family and our food, but we had

1316
00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:54,760
Speaker 5: the courtesy to feed their child for two entire days

1317
00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:57,080
Speaker 5: for free. I found myself not wanting to invite her back,

1318
00:56:57,120 --> 00:57:00,239
Speaker 5: but alas she insisted. The worst part is that I yes,

1319
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:02,719
Speaker 5: she failed to mention to her dad how it was

1320
00:57:02,960 --> 00:57:05,920
Speaker 5: her constantly berating meat for the food in my kitchen.

1321
00:57:05,960 --> 00:57:07,759
Speaker 5: I've told her over and over again to bring her

1322
00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:10,200
Speaker 5: own snacks, games, and other stuff, especially since her father

1323
00:57:10,239 --> 00:57:13,080
Speaker 5: seems to dislike our unhealthy lifestyle, so that.

1324
00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:14,919
Speaker 4: She wouldn't be using everything of mine.

1325
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:16,840
Speaker 5: But another one of her red flags is that she's

1326
00:57:16,880 --> 00:57:19,760
Speaker 5: apparently a big liar, because regardless of how many times

1327
00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:22,240
Speaker 5: she said that she would, she never did. She even

1328
00:57:22,360 --> 00:57:24,760
Speaker 5: laughed in my face once when I asked her where

1329
00:57:24,800 --> 00:57:26,600
Speaker 5: the rest of her stuff was, assuming that she was

1330
00:57:26,640 --> 00:57:28,640
Speaker 5: going to bring her stuff like she promised, but she

1331
00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:30,800
Speaker 5: had only brought one bag and she told me that

1332
00:57:30,920 --> 00:57:32,640
Speaker 5: she didn't feel like it, and then.

1333
00:57:32,720 --> 00:57:35,400
Speaker 4: Proceeded to sit on my couch with her shoes on.

1334
00:57:35,680 --> 00:57:37,840
Speaker 5: It's not that I don't offer games and food from

1335
00:57:37,880 --> 00:57:40,880
Speaker 5: time to time an appropriate amount, but it's actually insane

1336
00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:42,560
Speaker 5: the amount of food that she eats and stuff that

1337
00:57:42,600 --> 00:57:44,960
Speaker 5: she uses, going as far as to eating and drinking

1338
00:57:44,960 --> 00:57:47,160
Speaker 5: my own sisters snacks without her permission.

1339
00:57:47,200 --> 00:57:48,880
Speaker 6: She also doesn't stop at food.

1340
00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:53,120
Speaker 5: She's stolen my hygienic products, and she uses my toothpaste

1341
00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:55,880
Speaker 5: and other items, and she's incredibly greedy in the amount

1342
00:57:56,080 --> 00:57:58,120
Speaker 5: she used it. One time, I let her have some

1343
00:57:58,240 --> 00:58:01,480
Speaker 5: toothpaste and she poured almost the tie her bottle onto

1344
00:58:01,480 --> 00:58:03,960
Speaker 5: her toothbrush. I got upset at her, and she just

1345
00:58:04,040 --> 00:58:06,440
Speaker 5: laughed it off, saying that it wasn't my fault that

1346
00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:09,320
Speaker 5: she was cleaner than I was, which is a total lie.

1347
00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:12,440
Speaker 5: She has no sense of self awareness and it's starting

1348
00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:16,360
Speaker 5: to tick me off. On top of that, she's incredibly bossy, condescending,

1349
00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:19,240
Speaker 5: and wants everything to go her way. If she doesn't

1350
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:22,280
Speaker 5: want to do something, we have to think of alternatives.

1351
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:24,640
Speaker 5: At first, she wasn't like this, but the more time

1352
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:27,680
Speaker 5: she comes over, the more messier, meaner, and wasteful she gets.

1353
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:29,360
Speaker 5: And on top of that, she only wants to go

1354
00:58:29,400 --> 00:58:31,080
Speaker 5: to my house I asked if we could do it

1355
00:58:31,120 --> 00:58:33,080
Speaker 5: out my other friend's house or her house, and.

1356
00:58:33,040 --> 00:58:33,760
Speaker 6: They both said no.

1357
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:36,040
Speaker 5: I already know that she won't listen to me when

1358
00:58:36,080 --> 00:58:37,800
Speaker 5: I tell her to bring her own stuff, So I

1359
00:58:37,840 --> 00:58:40,240
Speaker 5: decided to just draw the line. I'm sick of inviting

1360
00:58:40,280 --> 00:58:42,520
Speaker 5: them over, and so I made up a lie so

1361
00:58:42,600 --> 00:58:45,320
Speaker 5: that they couldn't come over. However, now I'm starting to

1362
00:58:45,320 --> 00:58:46,920
Speaker 5: think that I should have just told her the truth

1363
00:58:46,960 --> 00:58:49,120
Speaker 5: and got it over with so she wouldn't ask to

1364
00:58:49,120 --> 00:58:50,040
Speaker 5: come back again.

1365
00:58:50,160 --> 00:58:51,680
Speaker 6: Am I the ahole for being a liar?

1366
00:58:51,800 --> 00:58:52,760
Speaker 4: Or is it justified?

1367
00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:55,280
Speaker 3: And there is an update two years later.

1368
00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:57,920
Speaker 2: Wow, but what a sweetie pie question.

1369
00:58:58,120 --> 00:58:59,680
Speaker 6: No, you're not the aeho for lying.

1370
00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:00,800
Speaker 3: Understandable.

1371
00:59:01,600 --> 00:59:05,360
Speaker 2: You can just like choose when you're like picking your

1372
00:59:05,360 --> 00:59:07,760
Speaker 2: breakfast and you're like, do I want an apple or

1373
00:59:07,800 --> 00:59:09,080
Speaker 2: do I want an orange?

1374
00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:11,280
Speaker 3: You don't have to have the apple if you don't

1375
00:59:11,320 --> 00:59:11,600
Speaker 3: want it.

1376
00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:13,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, you won't hurt the apples feelings.

1377
00:59:13,720 --> 00:59:17,240
Speaker 5: And if you do, who cares because you're just freaking teenagers.

1378
00:59:17,280 --> 00:59:18,880
Speaker 2: You just put the apple back on the shelf.

1379
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:19,480
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1380
00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:21,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like that's always like the worry in

1381
00:59:21,920 --> 00:59:22,640
Speaker 4: high school is.

1382
00:59:22,600 --> 00:59:25,000
Speaker 6: Like, oh, we like, oh, hurt their feelings, so I

1383
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:26,080
Speaker 6: want to be really nice.

1384
00:59:26,240 --> 00:59:28,960
Speaker 2: I have like percent of the people I went to

1385
00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:31,600
Speaker 2: high school with haven't seen them in a decade. Yeah, Like,

1386
00:59:31,720 --> 00:59:32,720
Speaker 2: it's okay.

1387
00:59:32,720 --> 00:59:34,280
Speaker 6: Maybe it's something that they just need to learn.

1388
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:36,320
Speaker 5: It's not your fault that they are hurt by being

1389
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:37,640
Speaker 5: disrespectful and having consequences.

1390
00:59:37,840 --> 00:59:39,680
Speaker 2: I made that comment about high school and Kean just

1391
00:59:39,680 --> 00:59:41,800
Speaker 2: looks at me, like, does he knows everyone here? I'm

1392
00:59:41,840 --> 00:59:43,480
Speaker 2: seeing my high school friends tonight.

1393
00:59:43,720 --> 00:59:46,520
Speaker 3: You know everybody? But you went to like a small

1394
00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:49,560
Speaker 3: private school, it was right, Yeah, I did well. That

1395
00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:49,960
Speaker 3: makes worse.

1396
00:59:50,040 --> 00:59:51,760
Speaker 2: I went to a public school. There were like six

1397
00:59:51,840 --> 00:59:54,240
Speaker 2: hundred students in my graduating class. I was not friends

1398
00:59:54,280 --> 00:59:56,280
Speaker 2: with all of them. Yeah, the friends that I made

1399
00:59:56,280 --> 00:59:58,320
Speaker 2: that were my real friends. I still anyway, this is

1400
00:59:58,360 --> 01:00:00,720
Speaker 2: getting off the rails. Yeah, but I does know all

1401
01:00:00,800 --> 01:00:01,920
Speaker 2: of his high school friends.

1402
01:00:02,320 --> 01:00:06,080
Speaker 5: That's impressive. Impressive. Update two years later, I'm seventeen. Now

1403
01:00:06,120 --> 01:00:09,280
Speaker 5: feels incredibly weird. How fast time can fly. I'm almost

1404
01:00:09,280 --> 01:00:11,480
Speaker 5: done with my senior year, and a lot has changed

1405
01:00:11,520 --> 01:00:13,600
Speaker 5: since then. During the beginning of my junior year, I

1406
01:00:13,600 --> 01:00:15,880
Speaker 5: had started ghosting my friend after she did some pretty

1407
01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:17,840
Speaker 5: harsh stuff. Near the end of my sophomore year, she

1408
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:20,600
Speaker 5: started ignoring me for two entire weeks. I had no

1409
01:00:20,640 --> 01:00:24,120
Speaker 5: clue why. I felt confused and honestly lonely. After two weeks,

1410
01:00:24,160 --> 01:00:26,760
Speaker 5: she started talking to me again and apologized for being rude.

1411
01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:28,800
Speaker 5: I accepted her apology, and, to be honest.

1412
01:00:28,520 --> 01:00:29,400
Speaker 4: I don't know why.

1413
01:00:29,680 --> 01:00:31,000
Speaker 6: When I asked, she said.

1414
01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:32,800
Speaker 5: That it was because of her mental health and needing

1415
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:34,120
Speaker 5: time alone from everyone.

1416
01:00:34,320 --> 01:00:36,720
Speaker 4: After that, our friendships started to dwindle.

1417
01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:38,640
Speaker 5: A year later, and near the end of my junior year,

1418
01:00:38,720 --> 01:00:40,680
Speaker 5: a friend of hers, who had become a semi friend

1419
01:00:40,680 --> 01:00:43,120
Speaker 5: of mine, told me the truth that after I had vented.

1420
01:00:42,880 --> 01:00:46,520
Speaker 4: About some stuff that my friend did to me, including.

1421
01:00:46,160 --> 01:00:48,760
Speaker 5: Ignoring me, apparently it wasn't because of mental health, but

1422
01:00:48,920 --> 01:00:52,400
Speaker 5: because she wanted less quote immature friend, and the most

1423
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:55,800
Speaker 5: mature way to do that is to just stop talking

1424
01:00:55,840 --> 01:00:57,600
Speaker 5: to them and blame it on your mental health. I

1425
01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:00,320
Speaker 5: am quite a goofy and playful person, so I think

1426
01:01:00,320 --> 01:01:02,520
Speaker 5: that's where she got the idea that I was immature.

1427
01:01:02,520 --> 01:01:04,520
Speaker 5: It's important to note that during my junior year I

1428
01:01:04,640 --> 01:01:07,360
Speaker 5: was introduced to several new people via art program I

1429
01:01:07,400 --> 01:01:09,280
Speaker 5: had signed up for over summer. Some of these people

1430
01:01:09,280 --> 01:01:12,120
Speaker 5: are now long term friends. Fast forward to my senior year.

1431
01:01:12,160 --> 01:01:14,160
Speaker 5: At the beginning of the year, I shared classes with her,

1432
01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:16,720
Speaker 5: so I sat near her, but she had basically replaced

1433
01:01:16,760 --> 01:01:19,360
Speaker 5: me with another dude who became her new best friend.

1434
01:01:19,400 --> 01:01:21,560
Speaker 5: Anytime we would sit or hang out, she would belittle

1435
01:01:21,600 --> 01:01:23,760
Speaker 5: me or ignore me in favor of this other guy,

1436
01:01:23,800 --> 01:01:25,960
Speaker 5: and anytime me and her talked to one on one,

1437
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:28,840
Speaker 5: she would just ask me advice about their friendship. After

1438
01:01:28,880 --> 01:01:31,560
Speaker 5: about two weeks, I had enough. I gave my friend

1439
01:01:31,560 --> 01:01:34,920
Speaker 5: a peace of mind. I called her selfish, hyptacritical, and

1440
01:01:34,960 --> 01:01:38,760
Speaker 5: a conceited person, and I ditched her completely.

1441
01:01:39,040 --> 01:01:40,760
Speaker 6: I blocked her on all my socials.

1442
01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:42,360
Speaker 5: And even stopped talking to any of her close friends,

1443
01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:44,640
Speaker 5: even though I found out later that the guy.

1444
01:01:44,520 --> 01:01:46,880
Speaker 6: She replaced me with wanted to become friends with me.

1445
01:01:47,440 --> 01:01:50,160
Speaker 5: When he confronted me, not rude, like more curious, I

1446
01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:51,840
Speaker 5: told him some of the things that she would do

1447
01:01:51,960 --> 01:01:54,160
Speaker 5: and will do. I warned him that she is a

1448
01:01:54,200 --> 01:01:57,160
Speaker 5: walking red sign and not to make the mistake I did.

1449
01:01:57,200 --> 01:01:59,320
Speaker 5: That she'll act like your closest friend, un she'll she

1450
01:01:59,360 --> 01:02:01,480
Speaker 5: finds someone else she likes better. The thing about this

1451
01:02:01,520 --> 01:02:04,440
Speaker 5: friend is that she treats people like chest pieces. She

1452
01:02:04,680 --> 01:02:06,840
Speaker 5: treated me like crap, but she didn't want me to

1453
01:02:06,920 --> 01:02:09,160
Speaker 5: branch out to have other friends. When I told her

1454
01:02:09,200 --> 01:02:11,560
Speaker 5: about my art friends, she said that they were weird

1455
01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:13,840
Speaker 5: and to not associate myself with them, as it would

1456
01:02:13,920 --> 01:02:16,400
Speaker 5: ruin my social reputation. She hated when I would ghost

1457
01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:18,720
Speaker 5: her or lay her off. I basically felt like a

1458
01:02:18,800 --> 01:02:21,920
Speaker 5: pawn piece sitting next to the Queen Peace. The friendship

1459
01:02:22,080 --> 01:02:24,800
Speaker 5: was super suffocating. I learned that she had done the

1460
01:02:24,800 --> 01:02:27,200
Speaker 5: same thing she did to me with her ex best friend,

1461
01:02:27,240 --> 01:02:29,560
Speaker 5: who she hung out with all throughout middle school.

1462
01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:30,760
Speaker 6: I also told this new.

1463
01:02:30,640 --> 01:02:32,920
Speaker 5: Guy friend of hers that I was a replacement at

1464
01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:35,320
Speaker 5: one point, just like he was now. And I told

1465
01:02:35,440 --> 01:02:38,040
Speaker 5: him that there was a reason people at school steered

1466
01:02:38,080 --> 01:02:39,960
Speaker 5: away from her. When I was friends with her. Almost

1467
01:02:39,960 --> 01:02:42,600
Speaker 5: everyone I talked to had something negative to say about her.

1468
01:02:42,680 --> 01:02:44,600
Speaker 5: These are the things that I learned. She sped a

1469
01:02:44,680 --> 01:02:47,320
Speaker 5: rumor to get a girl fired from her job. She

1470
01:02:47,360 --> 01:02:49,600
Speaker 5: made people think that she was harmful to animals while

1471
01:02:49,600 --> 01:02:52,360
Speaker 5: they volunteered for their honors club. The girl went into

1472
01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:55,320
Speaker 5: online school because of rumors, Oh my gosh, and I

1473
01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:58,760
Speaker 5: heard that she almost flunked out. Wow, this girl bullied

1474
01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:02,000
Speaker 5: this girl out of bubba school, out of in person school.

1475
01:03:02,040 --> 01:03:03,360
Speaker 3: You're dealing with a professional.

1476
01:03:03,560 --> 01:03:05,840
Speaker 4: My goodness, man, you need to be careful.

1477
01:03:05,920 --> 01:03:10,000
Speaker 5: And on top of that, she accidentally told everyone about

1478
01:03:10,040 --> 01:03:12,440
Speaker 5: a dude who canfide it in her about his spicy

1479
01:03:12,520 --> 01:03:15,840
Speaker 5: related preferences, and he switched schools.

1480
01:03:16,080 --> 01:03:17,600
Speaker 6: Nobody ever talks about.

1481
01:03:17,360 --> 01:03:19,680
Speaker 5: This, and honestly, I feel that some people forgot about

1482
01:03:19,720 --> 01:03:22,800
Speaker 5: him completely. Needless to say, she's a horrible person.

1483
01:03:23,160 --> 01:03:23,880
Speaker 3: I dropped.

1484
01:03:23,960 --> 01:03:26,720
Speaker 5: She also spread rumors about me, but neither I nor

1485
01:03:26,760 --> 01:03:28,800
Speaker 5: my friends really care. I was already a bit of

1486
01:03:28,800 --> 01:03:31,000
Speaker 5: a loner and a weird kid, so never changed anything.

1487
01:03:31,040 --> 01:03:33,000
Speaker 5: She was the type of person who made you feel

1488
01:03:33,000 --> 01:03:35,640
Speaker 5: even lonelier in her presence, and I based my college

1489
01:03:35,720 --> 01:03:38,040
Speaker 5: essay on her, or at least my social anxiety and

1490
01:03:38,120 --> 01:03:40,200
Speaker 5: how I got over it thanks to toxic friends, and

1491
01:03:40,280 --> 01:03:43,400
Speaker 5: my essay got me into a school. I like, my

1492
01:03:43,520 --> 01:03:46,120
Speaker 5: life is going great now. I'm about to graduate and

1493
01:03:46,200 --> 01:03:49,200
Speaker 5: turn eighteen. I just finished writing my first ever book,

1494
01:03:49,280 --> 01:03:51,480
Speaker 5: and my art has improved so much that I might

1495
01:03:51,520 --> 01:03:52,160
Speaker 5: be working on.

1496
01:03:52,160 --> 01:03:53,439
Speaker 4: A comic later this year.

1497
01:03:53,520 --> 01:03:53,840
Speaker 3: Wow.

1498
01:03:53,960 --> 01:03:55,960
Speaker 5: I got a brand new computer for college as a

1499
01:03:56,000 --> 01:03:58,800
Speaker 5: birthday gift. My friends that I have now are much

1500
01:03:58,840 --> 01:04:01,880
Speaker 5: better and I just happier. My life feels like it's

1501
01:04:01,960 --> 01:04:04,920
Speaker 5: finally figured itself out. Getting away from her was the

1502
01:04:04,920 --> 01:04:06,360
Speaker 5: best thing that ever happened to me.

1503
01:04:06,600 --> 01:04:06,960
Speaker 4: PS.

1504
01:04:07,160 --> 01:04:09,800
Speaker 5: Dude didn't listen to my advice. He got dumped for

1505
01:04:09,880 --> 01:04:12,040
Speaker 5: a girl in her English class about a month ago.

1506
01:04:12,080 --> 01:04:14,919
Speaker 5: They don't sit together or walk to lunch. He seems fine.

1507
01:04:14,960 --> 01:04:17,120
Speaker 5: He was pretty popular and has multiple friends. It just

1508
01:04:17,160 --> 01:04:20,240
Speaker 5: feels good to be right sometimes. Well, that is so true.

1509
01:04:20,800 --> 01:04:23,000
Speaker 2: It's just that picture of the dad from Malcolm in

1510
01:04:23,000 --> 01:04:23,760
Speaker 2: the Middle sitting.

1511
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:26,720
Speaker 6: Yeah, that is the end of the story.