Speaker 1: It's I Do Part two and it's your real life
Speaker 1: normal single gal host Louise and today, sadly I am
Speaker 1: holding down before it without my partner in crime, Thelma,
Speaker 1: but I am joined once again and back by popular demand,
Speaker 1: real life single stud JD. I am actually shocked that
Speaker 1: he is still single and maybe I have a shot,
Speaker 1: but in any event, he is here to answer all
Speaker 1: of the many questions that came in from our listeners,
Speaker 1: and I too, am on baited breath because I'd love
Speaker 1: to hear from the mind of a guy like him. JD.
Speaker 2: Welcome back, Thank you, thanks for having me back.
Speaker 1: Of course, last time you were on the pod, people
Speaker 1: loved hearing what you had to say. So this time
Speaker 1: we're going to bring you the questions directly from our listeners.
Speaker 2: You ready, yeah, looking forward to Okay.
Speaker 1: So our first question comes from a girl named Ashley,
Speaker 1: and she's asking what's something a woman might do on
Speaker 1: a date that she thinks is charming but a guy
Speaker 1: would find cringey.
Speaker 2: That's good. One of them might be she might think
Speaker 2: it's charming to just not eat anything or eat very lightly,
Speaker 2: and I think that comes to mind. I've been on
Speaker 2: dates where either the woman doesn't eat at all, or
Speaker 2: she ate ahead of time, and I think it's kind
Speaker 2: of fun to share the meal with somebody who actually so,
Speaker 2: I think that seems charming, I would.
Speaker 1: Say, But let me interrupt, because the flip side is
Speaker 1: the girl who sits at the table and orders the
Speaker 1: most expensive thing on the media.
Speaker 2: That's true, I would think. I think it's just I
Speaker 2: think if you get kind of the uh, you know,
Speaker 2: I am just gonna have a drink and aner solid yeah,
Speaker 2: and I'm going to have the salad. It's like, there's
Speaker 2: nothing wrong with that. I just don't think it's necessarily charming.
Speaker 2: It's just I think it's fine to order, you know,
Speaker 2: an app, but you know, an entree and a salad whatever.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't. I wouldn't hold back having an entre because
Speaker 2: you think it's gonna give a bad impression. I guess.
Speaker 2: Is my main point. The guy should be grown up
Speaker 2: enough if he asked you to dinner, he shouldn't be
Speaker 2: upset that you ordered an entre. That's that would be strange.
Speaker 2: So I do so don't. It's not cringey and it's
Speaker 2: not charming to skip the entree. I would do. Just
Speaker 2: you know, just enjoy it or do what you want.
Speaker 1: And you know what, But what's interesting is and I've
Speaker 1: kind of changed this, this has been a different for one.
Speaker 1: One for me is a first date. For me, I
Speaker 1: would rather just have a drink. I don't want to
Speaker 1: be locked in to a two hour dinner, right because
Speaker 1: we kind of know pretty quickly if this is going
Speaker 1: to be explored on a second date. And so for me,
Speaker 1: I would just like to do a quick drink and
Speaker 1: then go from there. Now, if the drink is great
Speaker 1: and I've had this happen where it hibots to a dinner,
Speaker 1: then that's cool, but I would rather just kind of
Speaker 1: limit it right out of the gate.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I love that idea and I've used that one myself.
Speaker 2: Where you meet somebody at four, like at four or
Speaker 2: five o'clock for a drink. You have a dinner reservation
Speaker 2: in the bag, you've already got one locked in for seven,
Speaker 2: either at the same restaurant or nearby, and if things
Speaker 2: are going well, you just roll into the dinner, but
Speaker 2: you're officially meeting for a drink for happy hour at five,
Speaker 2: but you've got it if you've got that seven o'clock resie.
Speaker 2: If you need it. I think as a guy, that's
Speaker 2: a great strategy, and I think you know, for a woman,
Speaker 2: it's the same thing. You haven't committed to dinner, but
Speaker 2: you could say, hey, this, I'm really enjoying, I'm really
Speaker 2: enjoying this. And sometimes the conversation will just keep on
Speaker 2: going and you blow right through dinner without even thinking
Speaker 2: about it. You just start oring food right at the
Speaker 2: place you were just planning to have a drink, right,
Speaker 2: So yeah, it's a lower commitment, less stress, and then
Speaker 2: just let it organically either end or move into dinner, right,
Speaker 2: but start with a drink. I love it. The dinner
Speaker 2: can feel a little intimidating, like the eight o'clock dinner
Speaker 2: reservation somewhere. Just meet for a drink at five and
Speaker 2: or five thirty, and then let it roll into dinner
Speaker 2: if it does, and if it doesn't.
Speaker 1: It doesn't, you know. And there's also and we could
Speaker 1: pop on so I know other listeners are calling in
Speaker 1: with questions, but I just find you so interesting.
Speaker 2: To talk to.
Speaker 1: But there's also a school of thought, which is, you know,
Speaker 1: you don't want a first date to go into like
Speaker 1: this marathon for five hours where like all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, you've kind of gotten it all
Speaker 1: out of the table and there's almost no reason to
Speaker 1: go out again in a way, right, Like you want
Speaker 1: to leave them wanting more. And I know everybody does
Speaker 1: it differently, right, but I do think that sometimes it's
Speaker 1: better just to kind of it's almost like the appetizer
Speaker 1: and not the not the full entree.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I get I get I get that. Thinking a
Speaker 2: little bit, I guess, I would say there are very
Speaker 2: few people that you want to date for months or
Speaker 2: years that you run out of You run out of
Speaker 2: reasons to hang out after a couple hours. So I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't. I'm not a big believer in the hold
Speaker 2: back strategy. I think if you like somebody and it's
Speaker 2: flowing and you like it, just let it roll. I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I mean, again, this is a guy's perspective,
Speaker 2: so I can't. Yeah, I can't give you. I mean,
Speaker 2: a woman might have a brilliant strategy of holding back
Speaker 2: some some different things to reveal on the second date,
Speaker 2: and and and again, maybe that works, maybe it doesn't.
Speaker 2: My perspective is if people are vibing and the conversation's flowing,
Speaker 2: you know, let it roll and enjoy getting to know
Speaker 2: each other, Like why not? But again, just a man's perspective.
Speaker 2: If if a woman has a special way to hold
Speaker 2: things nuggets back and reveal them over time, and she's
Speaker 2: got that down, then more power. Like I can't take
Speaker 2: away from that.
Speaker 1: I think it's a combination. But we are here to
Speaker 1: hear your perspective, right, because you are. What I appreciate
Speaker 1: about you is you are super even super communicative, super transparent,
Speaker 1: super mature, like you're you're healthy, right, and so you
Speaker 1: are kind of a unicorn. So for us to sit
Speaker 1: here and actually learn and listen, this is great tidbits
Speaker 1: for us as we are navigating this this dating world.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think if a guy's interested in you,
Speaker 2: the idea that he's going to be like, oh man,
Speaker 2: I you know, the first day was so good, but
Speaker 2: there was nothing new to talk about on the second day,
Speaker 2: Like I just I think that I think that's very rare.
Speaker 2: So I would say, I would say, you know, do
Speaker 2: what's natural. You don't force yourself to hold back. I
Speaker 2: would say, don't don't be like, oh, I was going
Speaker 2: to tell this story. It seemed like the perfect time,
Speaker 2: but I'm going to hold it back now I can
Speaker 2: hold back like I just yeah, yeah, I would just
Speaker 2: let it go natural, but just you know my two cents.
Speaker 1: This is from a caller named Kim. When you are
Speaker 1: divorced and dating again, can you date more than one
Speaker 1: person at a time? How does that work? Do you
Speaker 1: have to tell everyone? At what point do you tell everyone?
Speaker 1: I mean, I would love to hear I have my perspective,
Speaker 1: but I would love to hear your perspective.
Speaker 2: Sorry that the first part is just that you're single again.
Speaker 1: So when you're divorced and dating again, right, and you're
Speaker 1: and you're you're kind of out there.
Speaker 2: Sharing that you're divorced. Is that the piece you're talking
Speaker 2: about shuring.
Speaker 1: That you're sharing that you're dating multiple times?
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, I've I've had the one come up a
Speaker 2: few times. I think it is. I don't think it
Speaker 2: needs to come up in the first, you know, few dates,
Speaker 2: or even necessarily in month one or two. I think
Speaker 2: the times when it has typically come up in my
Speaker 2: experience is kind of around month three.
Speaker 1: And are you sleeping with that person?
Speaker 2: So the sleeping thing, I h do.
Speaker 1: You find that there's girl like for me? If I'm
Speaker 1: going to sleep with somebody, they're only sleeping with me, right,
Speaker 1: so there is a pretty clear conversation.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But I also feel organically, when a relationship is moving authentically,
Speaker 1: you don't even almost have to kind of have the
Speaker 1: conversation because both people are all in on it. And
Speaker 1: if you have to have a conversation and there's some
Speaker 1: sort of a of a question or a gray area,
Speaker 1: that's not good. But maybe there are guys out there,
Speaker 1: or there are girls that are comfortable with people who
Speaker 1: have multiple partners.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is one where I think often the woman
Speaker 2: takes the lead on this one. But I would say
Speaker 2: I've had I've had people I was dating bring it
Speaker 2: up before we slept together, like, hey, just so you know,
Speaker 2: I'm really only comfortable if we're at a monogamous thing
Speaker 2: and they brought it up before. I've had other people
Speaker 2: bring it up after we were sleeping together for a month,
Speaker 2: let's say, and then they brought it up. So my view,
Speaker 2: and I don't know if that's a well, my view
Speaker 2: is my advice to the woman asking the question and
Speaker 2: to women in general, is bring it up when it
Speaker 2: makes when it feels right to you, If you want
Speaker 2: to be in a monogamous relationship before and it needs
Speaker 2: to be exclusive before you sleep with them, then you
Speaker 2: should say that if you're if you're like, well, I
Speaker 2: want to kind of see how things are going, what
Speaker 2: our chemistry is. Like I'm not so worried about exclusivity
Speaker 2: right out of the gate, But if I start getting emotional,
Speaker 2: if I start we start getting more attached, and we
Speaker 2: start building a deeper relationship, then I want to know
Speaker 2: that you're not being as intimate with other people as
Speaker 2: you are with me. And so it can happen at
Speaker 2: different times for different people. So again, it should be
Speaker 2: what feels right to you, I think, and bring it
Speaker 2: up when it's right to you. And I think a
Speaker 2: man can handle the conversation.
Speaker 1: And I would assume, like right out of the gate,
Speaker 1: if some girls sitting there saying, oh, and we're exclusive,
Speaker 1: and you're going to be like running for the hills,
Speaker 1: like that's like Glenn Close's fatal attraction right, Like that
Speaker 1: is just way too much. I think. I guess for me,
Speaker 1: you just kind of know when it's going in that direction.
Speaker 1: It just kind of I don't know, feels yeah or again.
Speaker 2: I agree, I don't think there's a formula. I think
Speaker 2: it has to kind of you got to bring it
Speaker 2: up when it feels like bring it up. But yeah,
Speaker 2: I would I would stay away from like the first month,
Speaker 2: and then I would also stay away from the opposite
Speaker 2: like you know, waiting six months or some other things.
Speaker 2: But there's some time when it's going to feel like
Speaker 2: you should talk about right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it's it's it's all super super interesting. I mean,
Speaker 1: the mind of a man versus the mind of a woman.
Speaker 1: It's like that whole book mant are from Mars and
Speaker 1: man are from Venus. I mean they were kind of
Speaker 1: onto something, right. It's like you say black, I say, right,
Speaker 1: so this is good for us finding the gray.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And a lot of times the guy is not
Speaker 2: going to bring this up, and so the woman often
Speaker 2: has to take the lead on this conversation. I hate,
Speaker 2: I hate for the to get the easy way out
Speaker 2: in this one, but I do think it's one where
Speaker 2: a woman might have to lead that conversation.
Speaker 1: Well, I was in a situation recently which I alluded
Speaker 1: to on the previous one, where it was like he
Speaker 1: was at Z and I was at C. And the
Speaker 1: more I felt the pressure and the pushback. The more
Speaker 1: I felt like the guy where I was like going
Speaker 1: the other direction and I and I I just kind
Speaker 1: of finally had to say, like this, this pace isn't
Speaker 1: working for me, Like you're you're not reading the room
Speaker 1: with me right now?
Speaker 2: Yeah, well yeah, people need to read the room. And
Speaker 2: I also think, look, there's something fun about it being
Speaker 2: a little bit light, and it was too heavy, wayful
Speaker 2: and not heavy in pressure. We have our whole life
Speaker 2: to have heavy relationships. And if you get in, you know,
Speaker 2: you get past the first few months and then you're
Speaker 2: dating a year or two, you can you get to
Speaker 2: have your whole life to be in a serious relationship.
Speaker 2: So let it be a little bit light and fun
Speaker 2: in the beginning. And I mean, there's something nice about that.
Speaker 2: It doesn't last very long. Try to enjoy it would
Speaker 2: be my would be my advice, right, And that's on
Speaker 2: both sides. The man that was really trying to like
Speaker 2: come on heavy to you, why can't he be like
Speaker 2: a little playful in light and enjoy the fact that
Speaker 2: you don't know what's going to happen for a little while,
Speaker 2: and enjoy that adventure and the mystery of it. It
Speaker 2: is a rare, beautiful thing. Don't don't let it last
Speaker 2: one day, like like, enjoy it for a little while.
Speaker 1: It had been like a few months. But whatever, I'm
Speaker 1: just saying it.
Speaker 2: But my point is you got to read the room
Speaker 2: and enjoy, enjoy the path that you're on.
Speaker 1: It was too young of a relationship for it to
Speaker 1: be that way, all right, Moving on, Yes, moving moving
Speaker 1: on to Janet. Is it an automatic turn off when
Speaker 1: you meet your girlfriend's friends and they already know everything
Speaker 1: about you and your relationship?
Speaker 2: Not at all? I mean, if you're somebody who is
Speaker 2: a so first of all, the answer is no, it's
Speaker 2: not a turn off. The fact that the woman you're
Speaker 2: dating is interested enough to share things about you with
Speaker 2: her friends is a compliment to you. And if you
Speaker 2: don't like being complimented, then that's a whole different issue
Speaker 2: as a man. But if you're somebody who is I
Speaker 2: never want to have a girlfriend. I want to be
Speaker 2: single my whole life, and you're a commitment fobe, then okay,
Speaker 2: somebody talking about you might raise the hair on the
Speaker 2: back of your neck because you are specifically not trying
Speaker 2: to have a girlfriend and you're just trying to move
Speaker 2: from person to person forever, for all time. But for
Speaker 2: I would say for ninety nine percent of men who
Speaker 2: I would say are normal and mature men. The fact
Speaker 2: that the person you're interested in is sharing information about
Speaker 2: you is a huge compliment to you. So just take
Speaker 2: it as a compliment, mile and move on.
Speaker 1: Why are you so healthy?
Speaker 2: Lots of mistakes along the way and a few you know,
Speaker 2: and some success more recently. But yeah, it took it
Speaker 2: took a while for me to get there, so hard
Speaker 2: earned wisdom, the school of hard knocks right.
Speaker 1: My favorite line from last podcast is an ego you
Speaker 1: learned quickly shore marriage and then you learned again in
Speaker 1: a long marriage or something. I get it wrong quickly,
Speaker 1: and yes it was like super genius. Okay, Sherry, what
Speaker 1: is a date that just does not sound fun to
Speaker 1: you but us girls really love?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Nothing, nothing comes to mind. I mentioned it last time.
Speaker 2: I would say the biggest thing I would I would
Speaker 2: not be interested is that that first that first date
Speaker 2: that is a coffee or a lunch. That is a
Speaker 2: turn off to me. If you're not meeting for drinks
Speaker 2: or dinner, it feels like someone is so uninterested that
Speaker 2: they're not even giving you the happy hour, dinner time,
Speaker 2: so that that is the first date. That sounds worse
Speaker 2: to me is something that's not at least at five
Speaker 2: pm or later. That's just my view.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm totally with you because where everybody's a little
Speaker 1: everyone a little like looser and you know, liquid courage
Speaker 1: or whatever.
Speaker 2: Right, I think the second date is a perfect time
Speaker 2: to go on the hike or the bike ride or
Speaker 2: the whatever. But don't lead with that. It's a bad lead.
Speaker 2: It makes it sound like you are you have other
Speaker 2: plans that evening. It's just it's just not great.
Speaker 1: What about like dancing or if you know, somebody wants
Speaker 1: to go like bullying. I mean I wouldn't want to
Speaker 1: go bowling or to a theme park, but what are
Speaker 1: those any of those things interesting?
Speaker 2: That's why Yeah, a theme park on a first date,
Speaker 2: is it? I would say, is a no? No bowling.
Speaker 2: I actually don't have a problem with you get to
Speaker 2: kind of you know, you get to have your your
Speaker 2: you know, your beer, your glass of wine, you get
Speaker 2: to have a little activity, you get to chat and interact.
Speaker 2: So I don't I don't have a problem with bowling
Speaker 2: as a first date, but definitely the theme park it's
Speaker 2: too I mean, it's too long, too big of a commitment,
Speaker 2: and so I would I would save that for like
Speaker 2: a third or fourth date, but those are the only
Speaker 2: ones that really would really get.
Speaker 1: And do you like? Okay, So supposing you're going out
Speaker 1: on a first date, or let's call it maybe the
Speaker 1: second date. So we've done the drink and you know,
Speaker 1: we had fun and we're going to go. Do you
Speaker 1: I know that you subscribe as chivalry like I do,
Speaker 1: which is probably our age. Right. Are you the kind
Speaker 1: of guy who plans the date or do you kind
Speaker 1: of leave it up for random, Like we get lucky
Speaker 1: and we roll into a restaurant and we're good. Like,
Speaker 1: how do you do it when you're prepping for a date?
Speaker 1: What's your playbook?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I think this is a chance for you know,
Speaker 2: a man, to be a man and to step up
Speaker 2: and look plan the first couple of dates. The woman
Speaker 2: can plan the third date or something, but it's your
Speaker 2: chance to, you know, make her feel a little bit
Speaker 2: special and taken care of, and your chance to show
Speaker 2: that you can you can pull off one of the
Speaker 2: easiest things in the world, which is finding a happy
Speaker 2: hour dinner place Like that's not a This is not
Speaker 2: a high bar. You can pull this off if you're
Speaker 2: if you're a guy. And again, even if the woman
Speaker 2: you think is more financially secure than your you are,
Speaker 2: I still think in all circumstances, the first couple of
Speaker 2: dates are on you the first.
Speaker 1: Tap, and just do within your needs, right, and if
Speaker 1: she's not okay with that, then you know you got
Speaker 1: to kick her to the curb, right.
Speaker 2: And if you want to look, if you're if you're, yeah,
Speaker 2: if you go somewhere that's affordable for dinner or drinks,
Speaker 2: that's great on the first date or the second date,
Speaker 2: or if you take her for a drink on the
Speaker 2: first date and then you make dinner the second date.
Speaker 2: You can figure out away within your budget to be
Speaker 2: the man who's leading the way the first couple of dates.
Speaker 1: And it's pretty obvious if somebody's looking looking for a bank, right,
Speaker 1: I mean it's right out of the gate. You pick
Speaker 1: up all that exactly.
Speaker 2: I yeah, just do you and take the lead on
Speaker 2: the first couple of dates. That's any guy who can't
Speaker 2: pull that off has I think you're right.
Speaker 1: I think there's nothing more attractive than a trigger puller
Speaker 1: personally and I think that you know, a person wants
Speaker 1: to know that they can be taken care of, you know,
Speaker 1: not in it, I mean just in a way of
Speaker 1: like we're going to do this.
Speaker 2: I got this.
Speaker 1: Like I remember I was dating a guy and literally
Speaker 1: he couldn't handle anything. Everything was like I had asked
Speaker 1: him a question or about a flight or whatever. And
Speaker 1: we were on a trip and I literally was having
Speaker 1: my ex husband do something for me because I was
Speaker 1: I was in Europe when I had to get some
Speaker 1: accomplished and the guy goes, what are you doing? And
Speaker 1: I was like, well, you can't get it done, like
Speaker 1: I'm you know what I'm saying, And so it was
Speaker 1: such a turn off to me. He felt like a
Speaker 1: third kid.
Speaker 2: It's a huge Yeah, it's a huge turnoff. And I
Speaker 2: think for people that just can't handle planning a day,
Speaker 2: like you said, the woman doesn't feel taken care of,
Speaker 2: she doesn't get the energy that kind of energy the
Speaker 2: man being in that role and the woman feeling taken
Speaker 2: care of. That's that is part of the spark in
Speaker 2: straight relationships. And if if if a guy starts acting
Speaker 2: like a third kid, like you said, it's very unattractive.
Speaker 2: This isn't this is a layup, like making a dinner reservation,
Speaker 2: or this is we're figuring out a trail to go
Speaker 2: hiking on. These are easy things and if a guy
Speaker 2: can't pull it off, you have a right to, like
Speaker 2: you have a right to be unattracted to that person.
Speaker 2: Like you, there's no harm in saying, God, I just
Speaker 2: didn't feel attracted for that. Well, yeah, it's it's on him, Like,
Speaker 2: you shouldn't feel bad that you were like, oh, I
Speaker 2: feel weird judging him as my third kid. You should
Speaker 2: not feel bad. He's screwed up, So it's on him.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, no, no, for Yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Mean there's no there's no two ways about it.
Speaker 1: I mean, if I'm turning my ex husband to handle
Speaker 1: something we know it was.
Speaker 2: Pretty bad, then you know you screwed up.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine? I was like, yeah, we got this right. Okay,
Speaker 1: So moving on, And we touched on this before and
Speaker 1: I actually really appreciated your answer, but somebody did call
Speaker 1: in to ask this question. So I want to address Rhonda.
Speaker 1: You know, kind of like this stigma of you know,
Speaker 1: some women feel that when they've never been married or
Speaker 1: never had kids, that that is going to be a
Speaker 1: red flag to a potential guy that they're dating. You
Speaker 1: didn't seem that didn't bother you, which I so appreciate it. Similarly,
Speaker 1: when somebody was sober and you know, obviously you enjoy
Speaker 1: a cocktail that didn't bother you either. So but some
Speaker 1: women do feel that way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't. I don't. Yeah, I've dated women that
Speaker 2: don't have children. I've dated women that do, and I
Speaker 2: don't think it's relevant to whether or not you connect
Speaker 2: deeply with that person you enjoy their company. I don't
Speaker 2: find it relevant. I think it's like number fifty on
Speaker 2: the list, like you're not even it's not even top
Speaker 2: one hundred. For me personally, I think there's so many
Speaker 2: things about a person that are important. I just look,
Speaker 2: it might be nice to have them in common if
Speaker 2: you do have kids, or if you don't, it might
Speaker 2: be nice to have that extra freedom to travel and
Speaker 2: all that. But assuming you're in the same town and
Speaker 2: you're not on other sides of the country, I would
Speaker 2: say that the I would say to women, don't worry
Speaker 2: about whether you have the same children and no children's
Speaker 2: status as the person who's asking you out they're interested
Speaker 2: in you. It's not a problem.
Speaker 1: So one thing I'm super curious about, just to ask
Speaker 1: a question, is, you know, I'd love to understand why
Speaker 1: there's a lot of men who subscribe to that cliche
Speaker 1: of like, you know, they're the wealthy, older guy and
Speaker 1: they want the young piece of ass with like the
Speaker 1: six pack, when they have virtually I don't think, anything
Speaker 1: to talk about, but they look good on the arms,
Speaker 1: so it's I guess it's some sort of i'm an agreement, right.
Speaker 1: And then there's men like you or you know, other
Speaker 1: men I know that they want to be involved with
Speaker 1: somebody who has you know, shared life experience and there's
Speaker 1: like that kind of like you know, synchronicity or that
Speaker 1: you know, kind of connection point. But why do you
Speaker 1: think some men want that? Like is it something to
Speaker 1: do with how they feel about themselves on the inside.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I've I've been wondering this because I've
Speaker 2: seen some of my friends as they've gotten older that
Speaker 2: women they did have gotten older, and then other friends
Speaker 2: it's kind of stayed stayed young, and I and and
Speaker 2: and what's interesting for me is I find it really
Speaker 2: odd when you're looking for somebody that you connect with
Speaker 2: that is somebody that you have those deep connections with
Speaker 2: them that you really feel close to. That you think
Speaker 2: somebody who's twenty twenty five years younger is going to
Speaker 2: be your person. I think that's very strange. I again,
Speaker 2: oftentimes I will tell you sometimes those are the people
Speaker 2: I know who have, you know, the fancy car, and
Speaker 2: they are worried about their car and their image, and
Speaker 2: they're worried about their house, and so what they are
Speaker 2: what they're saying is it's way more important to me
Speaker 2: what people think of.
Speaker 1: Me than how I feel.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Right, It's the most important thing is my image,
Speaker 2: my brand, how people think of me and my depth
Speaker 2: my depth of connection with somebody is secondary or tersery
Speaker 2: to my image out in the world. And look, there
Speaker 2: are people like that for sure.
Speaker 1: Is it also potentially a situation where a man like
Speaker 1: that who's used to being in charge and calling the
Speaker 1: shots just doesn't want to be challenged and just figure
Speaker 1: that they'll be happy to be at the party, Throw
Speaker 1: them a designer back, take them to a couple of
Speaker 1: nice restaurants and they'll look good.
Speaker 2: And yeah, I mean that is the other part of it.
Speaker 2: It's actually bring up early good element because I have
Speaker 2: I have a few friends that are in this in that,
Speaker 2: and they I would say they are Their personality is
Speaker 2: not wanting to be challenged, not wanting to have that
Speaker 2: back and forth. They kind of just want to call
Speaker 2: all the shots. They really like just running the table,
Speaker 2: making all the decisions, and they really don't want a
Speaker 2: partner as much as someone who's going to go along
Speaker 2: with their game plan. And look that that is some
Speaker 2: people's deal and they like it, and there are people
Speaker 2: that want to just go along with someone else's game plan.
Speaker 2: I don't want to have to make decisions or have
Speaker 2: to be have an equal seat at the table. I
Speaker 2: that's just a that's a for me, that's a I
Speaker 2: don't know. That seems like that's the That seems like
Speaker 2: that's the ten percent, it's not the ninety percent. It
Speaker 2: feels like it is out there. I'm not going to
Speaker 2: say it's not out there, but I don't feel like
Speaker 2: it's the norm. But it is a thing, and I'm
Speaker 2: not going to say it's not.
Speaker 1: Well, there's definitely an ass for every saddle, and so
Speaker 1: one of the things I'm super curious about is so
Speaker 1: I am you know, I am one who believes in
Speaker 1: I mean, call it hokey, but I believe in the universe, right,
Speaker 1: and I believe genuinely that people come into our paths
Speaker 1: for a reason, right. I don't think it's random. It's
Speaker 1: a lesson or a blessing. You might not know it
Speaker 1: until you're looking in the rear view mirror, but I
Speaker 1: do believe there is a reason. I wonder if men
Speaker 1: subscribe to that or they just think it's some you know,
Speaker 1: kind of fairy tale, you know, bullshit, Like what do
Speaker 1: you feel about that kind of like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know if the universe is organizing itself
Speaker 2: to deliver somebody in front of you at the perfect time.
Speaker 2: I don't know if I believe in that theory, although
Speaker 2: i'd like to. I think what I think is that
Speaker 2: when you're ready, when you've like worked through a particular
Speaker 2: lesson and you've gotten to a different type of maturity
Speaker 2: different people, you start to connect with different people because
Speaker 2: you're in a different place. And so I do believe
Speaker 2: your character, your maturity, you processing lessons that you don't
Speaker 2: want to learn anymore, Like you're like, God, I screwed
Speaker 2: that up. I'm never doing that again. Once you've really
Speaker 2: gotten over some bad behavior, you will be attracted and
Speaker 2: other people will be attracting you. They're completely different. And
Speaker 2: so when you're in those different stages, I mean the universe, Yeah,
Speaker 2: it does put different people in front of you.
Speaker 1: So that's nature versus nurture in a lot of ways.
Speaker 2: Well, you connect, you're open to connecting with a different
Speaker 2: type of person, and they're connecting with you differently. So
Speaker 2: so when you change, everything that is in front of
Speaker 2: you and all of your options changed because you changed.
Speaker 2: And so lens, yeah, your lens changed, your perspective changes,
Speaker 2: and everything that attracts to you and that you're attracted
Speaker 2: to changes. So that is one hundred percent I believe
Speaker 2: in that.
Speaker 1: JD. I have to put a pin in this conversation
Speaker 1: because there is so much here that I think we're
Speaker 1: going to be lucky enough to parlay this into two episodes.
Speaker 1: So I know our listeners are going to stay tuned
Speaker 1: for Part two.