1 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:14,840 Speaker 1: It's I Do Part two and it's your real life 2 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:19,920 Speaker 1: normal single gal host Louise and today, sadly I am 3 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:24,320 Speaker 1: holding down before it without my partner in crime, Thelma, 4 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:29,360 Speaker 1: but I am joined once again and back by popular demand, 5 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 1: real life single stud JD. I am actually shocked that 6 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:36,879 Speaker 1: he is still single and maybe I have a shot, 7 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:40,880 Speaker 1: but in any event, he is here to answer all 8 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:44,280 Speaker 1: of the many questions that came in from our listeners, 9 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:47,839 Speaker 1: and I too, am on baited breath because I'd love 10 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:51,280 Speaker 1: to hear from the mind of a guy like him. JD. 11 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:55,160 Speaker 2: Welcome back, Thank you, thanks for having me back. 12 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 1: Of course, last time you were on the pod, people 13 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 1: loved hearing what you had to say. So this time 14 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:08,039 Speaker 1: we're going to bring you the questions directly from our listeners. 15 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:11,160 Speaker 2: You ready, yeah, looking forward to Okay. 16 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:17,039 Speaker 1: So our first question comes from a girl named Ashley, 17 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:22,240 Speaker 1: and she's asking what's something a woman might do on 18 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 1: a date that she thinks is charming but a guy 19 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:28,280 Speaker 1: would find cringey. 20 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:34,399 Speaker 2: That's good. One of them might be she might think 21 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:37,679 Speaker 2: it's charming to just not eat anything or eat very lightly, 22 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:40,800 Speaker 2: and I think that comes to mind. I've been on 23 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:45,039 Speaker 2: dates where either the woman doesn't eat at all, or 24 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:48,560 Speaker 2: she ate ahead of time, and I think it's kind 25 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 2: of fun to share the meal with somebody who actually so, 26 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,440 Speaker 2: I think that seems charming, I would. 27 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:57,560 Speaker 1: Say, But let me interrupt, because the flip side is 28 00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:00,080 Speaker 1: the girl who sits at the table and orders the 29 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,559 Speaker 1: most expensive thing on the media. 30 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:05,000 Speaker 2: That's true, I would think. I think it's just I 31 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 2: think if you get kind of the uh, you know, 32 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:11,120 Speaker 2: I am just gonna have a drink and aner solid yeah, 33 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,240 Speaker 2: and I'm going to have the salad. It's like, there's 34 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,840 Speaker 2: nothing wrong with that. I just don't think it's necessarily charming. 35 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:19,120 Speaker 2: It's just I think it's fine to order, you know, 36 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 2: an app, but you know, an entree and a salad whatever. 37 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:24,200 Speaker 2: I wouldn't. I wouldn't hold back having an entre because 38 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 2: you think it's gonna give a bad impression. I guess. 39 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:29,360 Speaker 2: Is my main point. The guy should be grown up 40 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,480 Speaker 2: enough if he asked you to dinner, he shouldn't be 41 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:34,519 Speaker 2: upset that you ordered an entre. That's that would be strange. 42 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 2: So I do so don't. It's not cringey and it's 43 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 2: not charming to skip the entree. I would do. Just 44 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:44,080 Speaker 2: you know, just enjoy it or do what you want. 45 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,520 Speaker 1: And you know what, But what's interesting is and I've 46 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,120 Speaker 1: kind of changed this, this has been a different for one. 47 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 1: One for me is a first date. For me, I 48 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:54,919 Speaker 1: would rather just have a drink. I don't want to 49 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:58,200 Speaker 1: be locked in to a two hour dinner, right because 50 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:02,680 Speaker 1: we kind of know pretty quickly if this is going 51 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,520 Speaker 1: to be explored on a second date. And so for me, 52 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,800 Speaker 1: I would just like to do a quick drink and 53 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,120 Speaker 1: then go from there. Now, if the drink is great 54 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:13,800 Speaker 1: and I've had this happen where it hibots to a dinner, 55 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:17,240 Speaker 1: then that's cool, but I would rather just kind of 56 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,440 Speaker 1: limit it right out of the gate. 57 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,880 Speaker 2: Yeah. I love that idea and I've used that one myself. 58 00:03:21,919 --> 00:03:24,200 Speaker 2: Where you meet somebody at four, like at four or 59 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:28,320 Speaker 2: five o'clock for a drink. You have a dinner reservation 60 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:31,120 Speaker 2: in the bag, you've already got one locked in for seven, 61 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 2: either at the same restaurant or nearby, and if things 62 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 2: are going well, you just roll into the dinner, but 63 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:39,160 Speaker 2: you're officially meeting for a drink for happy hour at five, 64 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:42,560 Speaker 2: but you've got it if you've got that seven o'clock resie. 65 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,839 Speaker 2: If you need it. I think as a guy, that's 66 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 2: a great strategy, and I think you know, for a woman, 67 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,000 Speaker 2: it's the same thing. You haven't committed to dinner, but 68 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:54,120 Speaker 2: you could say, hey, this, I'm really enjoying, I'm really 69 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 2: enjoying this. And sometimes the conversation will just keep on 70 00:03:56,440 --> 00:04:00,280 Speaker 2: going and you blow right through dinner without even thinking 71 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 2: about it. You just start oring food right at the 72 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:04,240 Speaker 2: place you were just planning to have a drink, right, 73 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:08,520 Speaker 2: So yeah, it's a lower commitment, less stress, and then 74 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,880 Speaker 2: just let it organically either end or move into dinner, right, 75 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 2: but start with a drink. I love it. The dinner 76 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 2: can feel a little intimidating, like the eight o'clock dinner 77 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:19,120 Speaker 2: reservation somewhere. Just meet for a drink at five and 78 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 2: or five thirty, and then let it roll into dinner 79 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,240 Speaker 2: if it does, and if it doesn't. 80 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,320 Speaker 1: It doesn't, you know. And there's also and we could 81 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:29,159 Speaker 1: pop on so I know other listeners are calling in 82 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:32,680 Speaker 1: with questions, but I just find you so interesting. 83 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:32,680 Speaker 2: To talk to. 84 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:37,080 Speaker 1: But there's also a school of thought, which is, you know, 85 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:40,159 Speaker 1: you don't want a first date to go into like 86 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,800 Speaker 1: this marathon for five hours where like all of a sudden, 87 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:44,760 Speaker 1: it's like, you know, you've kind of gotten it all 88 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,599 Speaker 1: out of the table and there's almost no reason to 89 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,280 Speaker 1: go out again in a way, right, Like you want 90 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:52,920 Speaker 1: to leave them wanting more. And I know everybody does 91 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:56,039 Speaker 1: it differently, right, but I do think that sometimes it's 92 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:59,320 Speaker 1: better just to kind of it's almost like the appetizer 93 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:02,359 Speaker 1: and not the not the full entree. 94 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:06,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, I get I get I get that. Thinking a 95 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:10,080 Speaker 2: little bit, I guess, I would say there are very 96 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:12,719 Speaker 2: few people that you want to date for months or 97 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:16,720 Speaker 2: years that you run out of You run out of 98 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,160 Speaker 2: reasons to hang out after a couple hours. So I don't. 99 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,240 Speaker 2: I don't. I'm not a big believer in the hold 100 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:24,360 Speaker 2: back strategy. I think if you like somebody and it's 101 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:28,560 Speaker 2: flowing and you like it, just let it roll. I don't. 102 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:32,080 Speaker 2: I don't know. I mean, again, this is a guy's perspective, 103 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:36,240 Speaker 2: so I can't. Yeah, I can't give you. I mean, 104 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:38,680 Speaker 2: a woman might have a brilliant strategy of holding back 105 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,400 Speaker 2: some some different things to reveal on the second date, 106 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,919 Speaker 2: and and and again, maybe that works, maybe it doesn't. 107 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:49,040 Speaker 2: My perspective is if people are vibing and the conversation's flowing, 108 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,400 Speaker 2: you know, let it roll and enjoy getting to know 109 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:56,040 Speaker 2: each other, Like why not? But again, just a man's perspective. 110 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 2: If if a woman has a special way to hold 111 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:01,600 Speaker 2: things nuggets back and reveal them over time, and she's 112 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,360 Speaker 2: got that down, then more power. Like I can't take 113 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 2: away from that. 114 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,919 Speaker 1: I think it's a combination. But we are here to 115 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:12,520 Speaker 1: hear your perspective, right, because you are. What I appreciate 116 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:18,000 Speaker 1: about you is you are super even super communicative, super transparent, 117 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:21,920 Speaker 1: super mature, like you're you're healthy, right, and so you 118 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,159 Speaker 1: are kind of a unicorn. So for us to sit 119 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:28,400 Speaker 1: here and actually learn and listen, this is great tidbits 120 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:32,240 Speaker 1: for us as we are navigating this this dating world. 121 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:34,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think if a guy's interested in you, 122 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 2: the idea that he's going to be like, oh man, 123 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,919 Speaker 2: I you know, the first day was so good, but 124 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:40,800 Speaker 2: there was nothing new to talk about on the second day, 125 00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:44,360 Speaker 2: Like I just I think that I think that's very rare. 126 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:48,359 Speaker 2: So I would say, I would say, you know, do 127 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:51,000 Speaker 2: what's natural. You don't force yourself to hold back. I 128 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:52,800 Speaker 2: would say, don't don't be like, oh, I was going 129 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,480 Speaker 2: to tell this story. It seemed like the perfect time, 130 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:56,640 Speaker 2: but I'm going to hold it back now I can 131 00:06:56,839 --> 00:07:00,320 Speaker 2: hold back like I just yeah, yeah, I would just 132 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 2: let it go natural, but just you know my two cents. 133 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:08,240 Speaker 1: This is from a caller named Kim. When you are 134 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:13,320 Speaker 1: divorced and dating again, can you date more than one 135 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:17,200 Speaker 1: person at a time? How does that work? Do you 136 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 1: have to tell everyone? At what point do you tell everyone? 137 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,400 Speaker 1: I mean, I would love to hear I have my perspective, 138 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 1: but I would love to hear your perspective. 139 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 2: Sorry that the first part is just that you're single again. 140 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,360 Speaker 1: So when you're divorced and dating again, right, and you're 141 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,240 Speaker 1: and you're you're kind of out there. 142 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:35,760 Speaker 2: Sharing that you're divorced. Is that the piece you're talking 143 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:36,440 Speaker 2: about shuring. 144 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,520 Speaker 1: That you're sharing that you're dating multiple times? 145 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,400 Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, I've I've had the one come up a 146 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:45,800 Speaker 2: few times. I think it is. I don't think it 147 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 2: needs to come up in the first, you know, few dates, 148 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:51,360 Speaker 2: or even necessarily in month one or two. I think 149 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,680 Speaker 2: the times when it has typically come up in my 150 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,559 Speaker 2: experience is kind of around month three. 151 00:07:57,840 --> 00:07:59,520 Speaker 1: And are you sleeping with that person? 152 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:03,720 Speaker 2: So the sleeping thing, I h do. 153 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:07,000 Speaker 1: You find that there's girl like for me? If I'm 154 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:09,720 Speaker 1: going to sleep with somebody, they're only sleeping with me, right, 155 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,760 Speaker 1: so there is a pretty clear conversation. 156 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 2: Yeah. 157 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:17,440 Speaker 1: But I also feel organically, when a relationship is moving authentically, 158 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:19,240 Speaker 1: you don't even almost have to kind of have the 159 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,960 Speaker 1: conversation because both people are all in on it. And 160 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,320 Speaker 1: if you have to have a conversation and there's some 161 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:27,080 Speaker 1: sort of a of a question or a gray area, 162 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:31,680 Speaker 1: that's not good. But maybe there are guys out there, 163 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:35,480 Speaker 1: or there are girls that are comfortable with people who 164 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:37,880 Speaker 1: have multiple partners. 165 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:43,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is one where I think often the woman 166 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:45,680 Speaker 2: takes the lead on this one. But I would say 167 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:49,959 Speaker 2: I've had I've had people I was dating bring it 168 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:53,400 Speaker 2: up before we slept together, like, hey, just so you know, 169 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:57,520 Speaker 2: I'm really only comfortable if we're at a monogamous thing 170 00:08:57,559 --> 00:08:59,040 Speaker 2: and they brought it up before. I've had other people 171 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:02,200 Speaker 2: bring it up after we were sleeping together for a month, 172 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 2: let's say, and then they brought it up. So my view, 173 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:09,400 Speaker 2: and I don't know if that's a well, my view 174 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:12,040 Speaker 2: is my advice to the woman asking the question and 175 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,520 Speaker 2: to women in general, is bring it up when it 176 00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:17,760 Speaker 2: makes when it feels right to you, If you want 177 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:21,920 Speaker 2: to be in a monogamous relationship before and it needs 178 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,000 Speaker 2: to be exclusive before you sleep with them, then you 179 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:27,120 Speaker 2: should say that if you're if you're like, well, I 180 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,720 Speaker 2: want to kind of see how things are going, what 181 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,920 Speaker 2: our chemistry is. Like I'm not so worried about exclusivity 182 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,440 Speaker 2: right out of the gate, But if I start getting emotional, 183 00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:39,400 Speaker 2: if I start we start getting more attached, and we 184 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,720 Speaker 2: start building a deeper relationship, then I want to know 185 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:44,320 Speaker 2: that you're not being as intimate with other people as 186 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:46,520 Speaker 2: you are with me. And so it can happen at 187 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,520 Speaker 2: different times for different people. So again, it should be 188 00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:52,080 Speaker 2: what feels right to you, I think, and bring it 189 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:55,240 Speaker 2: up when it's right to you. And I think a 190 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:56,679 Speaker 2: man can handle the conversation. 191 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,200 Speaker 1: And I would assume, like right out of the gate, 192 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,200 Speaker 1: if some girls sitting there saying, oh, and we're exclusive, 193 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,200 Speaker 1: and you're going to be like running for the hills, 194 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:07,160 Speaker 1: like that's like Glenn Close's fatal attraction right, Like that 195 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:09,920 Speaker 1: is just way too much. I think. I guess for me, 196 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:13,319 Speaker 1: you just kind of know when it's going in that direction. 197 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:17,600 Speaker 1: It just kind of I don't know, feels yeah or again. 198 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,480 Speaker 2: I agree, I don't think there's a formula. I think 199 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:21,880 Speaker 2: it has to kind of you got to bring it 200 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,360 Speaker 2: up when it feels like bring it up. But yeah, 201 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:25,920 Speaker 2: I would I would stay away from like the first month, 202 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,840 Speaker 2: and then I would also stay away from the opposite 203 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:31,800 Speaker 2: like you know, waiting six months or some other things. 204 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,040 Speaker 2: But there's some time when it's going to feel like 205 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,120 Speaker 2: you should talk about right. 206 00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:38,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it's it's it's all super super interesting. I mean, 207 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:42,439 Speaker 1: the mind of a man versus the mind of a woman. 208 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:44,280 Speaker 1: It's like that whole book mant are from Mars and 209 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:45,760 Speaker 1: man are from Venus. I mean they were kind of 210 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:49,800 Speaker 1: onto something, right. It's like you say black, I say, right, 211 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,800 Speaker 1: so this is good for us finding the gray. 212 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:54,960 Speaker 2: Yeah. And a lot of times the guy is not 213 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,720 Speaker 2: going to bring this up, and so the woman often 214 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:58,720 Speaker 2: has to take the lead on this conversation. I hate, 215 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:01,079 Speaker 2: I hate for the to get the easy way out 216 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:03,040 Speaker 2: in this one, but I do think it's one where 217 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,319 Speaker 2: a woman might have to lead that conversation. 218 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:08,520 Speaker 1: Well, I was in a situation recently which I alluded 219 00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:11,200 Speaker 1: to on the previous one, where it was like he 220 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:14,840 Speaker 1: was at Z and I was at C. And the 221 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,280 Speaker 1: more I felt the pressure and the pushback. The more 222 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:19,400 Speaker 1: I felt like the guy where I was like going 223 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:22,280 Speaker 1: the other direction and I and I I just kind 224 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,720 Speaker 1: of finally had to say, like this, this pace isn't 225 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:26,960 Speaker 1: working for me, Like you're you're not reading the room 226 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:27,520 Speaker 1: with me right now? 227 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, well yeah, people need to read the room. And 228 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:32,200 Speaker 2: I also think, look, there's something fun about it being 229 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:35,640 Speaker 2: a little bit light, and it was too heavy, wayful 230 00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:38,960 Speaker 2: and not heavy in pressure. We have our whole life 231 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:42,000 Speaker 2: to have heavy relationships. And if you get in, you know, 232 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:44,959 Speaker 2: you get past the first few months and then you're 233 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:47,000 Speaker 2: dating a year or two, you can you get to 234 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,960 Speaker 2: have your whole life to be in a serious relationship. 235 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,440 Speaker 2: So let it be a little bit light and fun 236 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:55,880 Speaker 2: in the beginning. And I mean, there's something nice about that. 237 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,240 Speaker 2: It doesn't last very long. Try to enjoy it would 238 00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:00,640 Speaker 2: be my would be my advice, right, And that's on 239 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:03,280 Speaker 2: both sides. The man that was really trying to like 240 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:06,480 Speaker 2: come on heavy to you, why can't he be like 241 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,480 Speaker 2: a little playful in light and enjoy the fact that 242 00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:11,720 Speaker 2: you don't know what's going to happen for a little while, 243 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:15,520 Speaker 2: and enjoy that adventure and the mystery of it. It 244 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:19,240 Speaker 2: is a rare, beautiful thing. Don't don't let it last 245 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,000 Speaker 2: one day, like like, enjoy it for a little while. 246 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:24,240 Speaker 1: It had been like a few months. But whatever, I'm 247 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:24,679 Speaker 1: just saying it. 248 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,280 Speaker 2: But my point is you got to read the room 249 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:29,080 Speaker 2: and enjoy, enjoy the path that you're on. 250 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,520 Speaker 1: It was too young of a relationship for it to 251 00:12:32,559 --> 00:12:45,720 Speaker 1: be that way, all right, Moving on, Yes, moving moving 252 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:51,280 Speaker 1: on to Janet. Is it an automatic turn off when 253 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:55,000 Speaker 1: you meet your girlfriend's friends and they already know everything 254 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,319 Speaker 1: about you and your relationship? 255 00:12:56,679 --> 00:12:58,480 Speaker 2: Not at all? I mean, if you're somebody who is 256 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:01,640 Speaker 2: a so first of all, the answer is no, it's 257 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:03,280 Speaker 2: not a turn off. The fact that the woman you're 258 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:06,360 Speaker 2: dating is interested enough to share things about you with 259 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:09,199 Speaker 2: her friends is a compliment to you. And if you 260 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:12,360 Speaker 2: don't like being complimented, then that's a whole different issue 261 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:15,920 Speaker 2: as a man. But if you're somebody who is I 262 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:17,720 Speaker 2: never want to have a girlfriend. I want to be 263 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:22,200 Speaker 2: single my whole life, and you're a commitment fobe, then okay, 264 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,640 Speaker 2: somebody talking about you might raise the hair on the 265 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,839 Speaker 2: back of your neck because you are specifically not trying 266 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:31,199 Speaker 2: to have a girlfriend and you're just trying to move 267 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:34,080 Speaker 2: from person to person forever, for all time. But for 268 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:36,079 Speaker 2: I would say for ninety nine percent of men who 269 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:39,040 Speaker 2: I would say are normal and mature men. The fact 270 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:42,000 Speaker 2: that the person you're interested in is sharing information about 271 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:45,280 Speaker 2: you is a huge compliment to you. So just take 272 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:47,240 Speaker 2: it as a compliment, mile and move on. 273 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:48,520 Speaker 1: Why are you so healthy? 274 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,920 Speaker 2: Lots of mistakes along the way and a few you know, 275 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:56,000 Speaker 2: and some success more recently. But yeah, it took it 276 00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:58,640 Speaker 2: took a while for me to get there, so hard 277 00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:01,640 Speaker 2: earned wisdom, the school of hard knocks right. 278 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:05,000 Speaker 1: My favorite line from last podcast is an ego you 279 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:10,480 Speaker 1: learned quickly shore marriage and then you learned again in 280 00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:13,360 Speaker 1: a long marriage or something. I get it wrong quickly, 281 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:19,200 Speaker 1: and yes it was like super genius. Okay, Sherry, what 282 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,680 Speaker 1: is a date that just does not sound fun to 283 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:25,160 Speaker 1: you but us girls really love? 284 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:28,760 Speaker 2: Yeah? Nothing, nothing comes to mind. I mentioned it last time. 285 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:32,640 Speaker 2: I would say the biggest thing I would I would 286 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:36,400 Speaker 2: not be interested is that that first that first date 287 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:39,520 Speaker 2: that is a coffee or a lunch. That is a 288 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:42,600 Speaker 2: turn off to me. If you're not meeting for drinks 289 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:46,800 Speaker 2: or dinner, it feels like someone is so uninterested that 290 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:49,640 Speaker 2: they're not even giving you the happy hour, dinner time, 291 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:52,440 Speaker 2: so that that is the first date. That sounds worse 292 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,240 Speaker 2: to me is something that's not at least at five 293 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:57,000 Speaker 2: pm or later. That's just my view. 294 00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:59,400 Speaker 1: I'm I'm totally with you because where everybody's a little 295 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,600 Speaker 1: everyone a little like looser and you know, liquid courage 296 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:03,360 Speaker 1: or whatever. 297 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,520 Speaker 2: Right, I think the second date is a perfect time 298 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,840 Speaker 2: to go on the hike or the bike ride or 299 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:11,080 Speaker 2: the whatever. But don't lead with that. It's a bad lead. 300 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,800 Speaker 2: It makes it sound like you are you have other 301 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,840 Speaker 2: plans that evening. It's just it's just not great. 302 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:20,760 Speaker 1: What about like dancing or if you know, somebody wants 303 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,200 Speaker 1: to go like bullying. I mean I wouldn't want to 304 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:25,880 Speaker 1: go bowling or to a theme park, but what are 305 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:27,360 Speaker 1: those any of those things interesting? 306 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:29,680 Speaker 2: That's why Yeah, a theme park on a first date, 307 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:33,280 Speaker 2: is it? I would say, is a no? No bowling. 308 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:36,520 Speaker 2: I actually don't have a problem with you get to 309 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:40,280 Speaker 2: kind of you know, you get to have your your 310 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:42,280 Speaker 2: you know, your beer, your glass of wine, you get 311 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:44,600 Speaker 2: to have a little activity, you get to chat and interact. 312 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:46,320 Speaker 2: So I don't I don't have a problem with bowling 313 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:51,120 Speaker 2: as a first date, but definitely the theme park it's 314 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,280 Speaker 2: too I mean, it's too long, too big of a commitment, 315 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:56,480 Speaker 2: and so I would I would save that for like 316 00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:59,720 Speaker 2: a third or fourth date, but those are the only 317 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:02,560 Speaker 2: ones that really would really get. 318 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:05,160 Speaker 1: And do you like? Okay, So supposing you're going out 319 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:07,320 Speaker 1: on a first date, or let's call it maybe the 320 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:09,440 Speaker 1: second date. So we've done the drink and you know, 321 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:11,480 Speaker 1: we had fun and we're going to go. Do you 322 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,920 Speaker 1: I know that you subscribe as chivalry like I do, 323 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:18,360 Speaker 1: which is probably our age. Right. Are you the kind 324 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:23,040 Speaker 1: of guy who plans the date or do you kind 325 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:26,040 Speaker 1: of leave it up for random, Like we get lucky 326 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:28,560 Speaker 1: and we roll into a restaurant and we're good. Like, 327 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:31,160 Speaker 1: how do you do it when you're prepping for a date? 328 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,040 Speaker 1: What's your playbook? 329 00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:35,080 Speaker 2: Yeah? I think this is a chance for you know, 330 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,480 Speaker 2: a man, to be a man and to step up 331 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,840 Speaker 2: and look plan the first couple of dates. The woman 332 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:42,880 Speaker 2: can plan the third date or something, but it's your 333 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:47,680 Speaker 2: chance to, you know, make her feel a little bit 334 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:50,080 Speaker 2: special and taken care of, and your chance to show 335 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:52,880 Speaker 2: that you can you can pull off one of the 336 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:55,040 Speaker 2: easiest things in the world, which is finding a happy 337 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:57,200 Speaker 2: hour dinner place Like that's not a This is not 338 00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 2: a high bar. You can pull this off if you're 339 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:02,720 Speaker 2: if you're a guy. And again, even if the woman 340 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:06,600 Speaker 2: you think is more financially secure than your you are, 341 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,760 Speaker 2: I still think in all circumstances, the first couple of 342 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:11,000 Speaker 2: dates are on you the first. 343 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,880 Speaker 1: Tap, and just do within your needs, right, and if 344 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,320 Speaker 1: she's not okay with that, then you know you got 345 00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:16,560 Speaker 1: to kick her to the curb, right. 346 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,920 Speaker 2: And if you want to look, if you're if you're, yeah, 347 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:21,800 Speaker 2: if you go somewhere that's affordable for dinner or drinks, 348 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,560 Speaker 2: that's great on the first date or the second date, 349 00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:25,320 Speaker 2: or if you take her for a drink on the 350 00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:27,040 Speaker 2: first date and then you make dinner the second date. 351 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:29,480 Speaker 2: You can figure out away within your budget to be 352 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,760 Speaker 2: the man who's leading the way the first couple of dates. 353 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:35,040 Speaker 1: And it's pretty obvious if somebody's looking looking for a bank, right, 354 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:36,640 Speaker 1: I mean it's right out of the gate. You pick 355 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:38,160 Speaker 1: up all that exactly. 356 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:43,320 Speaker 2: I yeah, just do you and take the lead on 357 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:46,040 Speaker 2: the first couple of dates. That's any guy who can't 358 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:47,720 Speaker 2: pull that off has I think you're right. 359 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:50,120 Speaker 1: I think there's nothing more attractive than a trigger puller 360 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,440 Speaker 1: personally and I think that you know, a person wants 361 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:57,280 Speaker 1: to know that they can be taken care of, you know, 362 00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:58,760 Speaker 1: not in it, I mean just in a way of 363 00:17:58,840 --> 00:17:59,560 Speaker 1: like we're going to do this. 364 00:17:59,640 --> 00:17:59,920 Speaker 2: I got this. 365 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,800 Speaker 1: Like I remember I was dating a guy and literally 366 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:05,440 Speaker 1: he couldn't handle anything. Everything was like I had asked 367 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:08,000 Speaker 1: him a question or about a flight or whatever. And 368 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:11,440 Speaker 1: we were on a trip and I literally was having 369 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,240 Speaker 1: my ex husband do something for me because I was 370 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:14,639 Speaker 1: I was in Europe when I had to get some 371 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:17,119 Speaker 1: accomplished and the guy goes, what are you doing? And 372 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,000 Speaker 1: I was like, well, you can't get it done, like 373 00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:22,119 Speaker 1: I'm you know what I'm saying, And so it was 374 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,239 Speaker 1: such a turn off to me. He felt like a 375 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:24,880 Speaker 1: third kid. 376 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,240 Speaker 2: It's a huge Yeah, it's a huge turnoff. And I 377 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:30,080 Speaker 2: think for people that just can't handle planning a day, 378 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:33,520 Speaker 2: like you said, the woman doesn't feel taken care of, 379 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:39,000 Speaker 2: she doesn't get the energy that kind of energy the 380 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:41,480 Speaker 2: man being in that role and the woman feeling taken 381 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:46,399 Speaker 2: care of. That's that is part of the spark in 382 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:51,119 Speaker 2: straight relationships. And if if if a guy starts acting 383 00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:54,520 Speaker 2: like a third kid, like you said, it's very unattractive. 384 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:58,280 Speaker 2: This isn't this is a layup, like making a dinner reservation, 385 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:01,520 Speaker 2: or this is we're figuring out a trail to go 386 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,960 Speaker 2: hiking on. These are easy things and if a guy 387 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,480 Speaker 2: can't pull it off, you have a right to, like 388 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:08,639 Speaker 2: you have a right to be unattracted to that person. 389 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:12,919 Speaker 2: Like you, there's no harm in saying, God, I just 390 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:16,760 Speaker 2: didn't feel attracted for that. Well, yeah, it's it's on him, Like, 391 00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:21,000 Speaker 2: you shouldn't feel bad that you were like, oh, I 392 00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:23,760 Speaker 2: feel weird judging him as my third kid. You should 393 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,640 Speaker 2: not feel bad. He's screwed up, So it's on him. 394 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:28,720 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, no, no, for Yeah, I. 395 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 2: Mean there's no there's no two ways about it. 396 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:32,760 Speaker 1: I mean, if I'm turning my ex husband to handle 397 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:33,679 Speaker 1: something we know it was. 398 00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:35,800 Speaker 2: Pretty bad, then you know you screwed up. 399 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:48,720 Speaker 1: Can you imagine? I was like, yeah, we got this right. Okay, 400 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:51,560 Speaker 1: So moving on, And we touched on this before and 401 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:54,440 Speaker 1: I actually really appreciated your answer, but somebody did call 402 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:57,399 Speaker 1: in to ask this question. So I want to address Rhonda. 403 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,760 Speaker 1: You know, kind of like this stigma of you know, 404 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:06,520 Speaker 1: some women feel that when they've never been married or 405 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:09,760 Speaker 1: never had kids, that that is going to be a 406 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:15,560 Speaker 1: red flag to a potential guy that they're dating. You 407 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:20,240 Speaker 1: didn't seem that didn't bother you, which I so appreciate it. Similarly, 408 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:23,320 Speaker 1: when somebody was sober and you know, obviously you enjoy 409 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:26,800 Speaker 1: a cocktail that didn't bother you either. So but some 410 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,200 Speaker 1: women do feel that way. 411 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:35,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't. I don't. Yeah, I've dated women that 412 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,199 Speaker 2: don't have children. I've dated women that do, and I 413 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:42,400 Speaker 2: don't think it's relevant to whether or not you connect 414 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,520 Speaker 2: deeply with that person you enjoy their company. I don't 415 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,919 Speaker 2: find it relevant. I think it's like number fifty on 416 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,000 Speaker 2: the list, like you're not even it's not even top 417 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,680 Speaker 2: one hundred. For me personally, I think there's so many 418 00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:57,359 Speaker 2: things about a person that are important. I just look, 419 00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:59,159 Speaker 2: it might be nice to have them in common if 420 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,720 Speaker 2: you do have kids, or if you don't, it might 421 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:04,480 Speaker 2: be nice to have that extra freedom to travel and 422 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:07,359 Speaker 2: all that. But assuming you're in the same town and 423 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,840 Speaker 2: you're not on other sides of the country, I would 424 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:13,480 Speaker 2: say that the I would say to women, don't worry 425 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,560 Speaker 2: about whether you have the same children and no children's 426 00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:19,760 Speaker 2: status as the person who's asking you out they're interested 427 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,520 Speaker 2: in you. It's not a problem. 428 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:24,640 Speaker 1: So one thing I'm super curious about, just to ask 429 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:28,960 Speaker 1: a question, is, you know, I'd love to understand why 430 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,960 Speaker 1: there's a lot of men who subscribe to that cliche 431 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,200 Speaker 1: of like, you know, they're the wealthy, older guy and 432 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:36,000 Speaker 1: they want the young piece of ass with like the 433 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,520 Speaker 1: six pack, when they have virtually I don't think, anything 434 00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:40,240 Speaker 1: to talk about, but they look good on the arms, 435 00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:43,040 Speaker 1: so it's I guess it's some sort of i'm an agreement, right. 436 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:47,080 Speaker 1: And then there's men like you or you know, other 437 00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:49,600 Speaker 1: men I know that they want to be involved with 438 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,320 Speaker 1: somebody who has you know, shared life experience and there's 439 00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:56,000 Speaker 1: like that kind of like you know, synchronicity or that 440 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:59,119 Speaker 1: you know, kind of connection point. But why do you 441 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:02,840 Speaker 1: think some men want that? Like is it something to 442 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:04,879 Speaker 1: do with how they feel about themselves on the inside. 443 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:08,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I've I've been wondering this because I've 444 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,240 Speaker 2: seen some of my friends as they've gotten older that 445 00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:13,120 Speaker 2: women they did have gotten older, and then other friends 446 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:16,399 Speaker 2: it's kind of stayed stayed young, and I and and 447 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:21,960 Speaker 2: and what's interesting for me is I find it really 448 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,960 Speaker 2: odd when you're looking for somebody that you connect with 449 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,159 Speaker 2: that is somebody that you have those deep connections with 450 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,520 Speaker 2: them that you really feel close to. That you think 451 00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,879 Speaker 2: somebody who's twenty twenty five years younger is going to 452 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:36,000 Speaker 2: be your person. I think that's very strange. I again, 453 00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:38,800 Speaker 2: oftentimes I will tell you sometimes those are the people 454 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:42,240 Speaker 2: I know who have, you know, the fancy car, and 455 00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:44,680 Speaker 2: they are worried about their car and their image, and 456 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:47,720 Speaker 2: they're worried about their house, and so what they are 457 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:51,000 Speaker 2: what they're saying is it's way more important to me 458 00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:52,160 Speaker 2: what people think of. 459 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:55,320 Speaker 1: Me than how I feel. 460 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,560 Speaker 2: Yeah. Right, It's the most important thing is my image, 461 00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:02,960 Speaker 2: my brand, how people think of me and my depth 462 00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:06,240 Speaker 2: my depth of connection with somebody is secondary or tersery 463 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:10,000 Speaker 2: to my image out in the world. And look, there 464 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:11,480 Speaker 2: are people like that for sure. 465 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,840 Speaker 1: Is it also potentially a situation where a man like 466 00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,080 Speaker 1: that who's used to being in charge and calling the 467 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:19,639 Speaker 1: shots just doesn't want to be challenged and just figure 468 00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:21,800 Speaker 1: that they'll be happy to be at the party, Throw 469 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:23,560 Speaker 1: them a designer back, take them to a couple of 470 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,120 Speaker 1: nice restaurants and they'll look good. 471 00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,719 Speaker 2: And yeah, I mean that is the other part of it. 472 00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:29,879 Speaker 2: It's actually bring up early good element because I have 473 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:34,040 Speaker 2: I have a few friends that are in this in that, 474 00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:39,639 Speaker 2: and they I would say they are Their personality is 475 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,000 Speaker 2: not wanting to be challenged, not wanting to have that 476 00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:44,280 Speaker 2: back and forth. They kind of just want to call 477 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:48,199 Speaker 2: all the shots. They really like just running the table, 478 00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,280 Speaker 2: making all the decisions, and they really don't want a 479 00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:53,719 Speaker 2: partner as much as someone who's going to go along 480 00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:56,760 Speaker 2: with their game plan. And look that that is some 481 00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:59,320 Speaker 2: people's deal and they like it, and there are people 482 00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:01,920 Speaker 2: that want to just go along with someone else's game plan. 483 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,040 Speaker 2: I don't want to have to make decisions or have 484 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:07,160 Speaker 2: to be have an equal seat at the table. I 485 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:10,520 Speaker 2: that's just a that's a for me, that's a I 486 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:13,280 Speaker 2: don't know. That seems like that's the That seems like 487 00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:15,600 Speaker 2: that's the ten percent, it's not the ninety percent. It 488 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:17,639 Speaker 2: feels like it is out there. I'm not going to 489 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,119 Speaker 2: say it's not out there, but I don't feel like 490 00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:21,520 Speaker 2: it's the norm. But it is a thing, and I'm 491 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:22,359 Speaker 2: not going to say it's not. 492 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,359 Speaker 1: Well, there's definitely an ass for every saddle, and so 493 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,119 Speaker 1: one of the things I'm super curious about is so 494 00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,919 Speaker 1: I am you know, I am one who believes in 495 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:35,080 Speaker 1: I mean, call it hokey, but I believe in the universe, right, 496 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:39,639 Speaker 1: and I believe genuinely that people come into our paths 497 00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,760 Speaker 1: for a reason, right. I don't think it's random. It's 498 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:45,520 Speaker 1: a lesson or a blessing. You might not know it 499 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,840 Speaker 1: until you're looking in the rear view mirror, but I 500 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:52,880 Speaker 1: do believe there is a reason. I wonder if men 501 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:56,280 Speaker 1: subscribe to that or they just think it's some you know, 502 00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:59,639 Speaker 1: kind of fairy tale, you know, bullshit, Like what do 503 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:01,240 Speaker 1: you feel about that kind of like. 504 00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:04,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know if the universe is organizing itself 505 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:07,600 Speaker 2: to deliver somebody in front of you at the perfect time. 506 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:11,119 Speaker 2: I don't know if I believe in that theory, although 507 00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:15,600 Speaker 2: i'd like to. I think what I think is that 508 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:18,520 Speaker 2: when you're ready, when you've like worked through a particular 509 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:21,680 Speaker 2: lesson and you've gotten to a different type of maturity 510 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:26,000 Speaker 2: different people, you start to connect with different people because 511 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:28,679 Speaker 2: you're in a different place. And so I do believe 512 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:34,320 Speaker 2: your character, your maturity, you processing lessons that you don't 513 00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,719 Speaker 2: want to learn anymore, Like you're like, God, I screwed 514 00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:39,399 Speaker 2: that up. I'm never doing that again. Once you've really 515 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:43,680 Speaker 2: gotten over some bad behavior, you will be attracted and 516 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:46,000 Speaker 2: other people will be attracting you. They're completely different. And 517 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:49,360 Speaker 2: so when you're in those different stages, I mean the universe, Yeah, 518 00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:51,320 Speaker 2: it does put different people in front of you. 519 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,520 Speaker 1: So that's nature versus nurture in a lot of ways. 520 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:57,879 Speaker 2: Well, you connect, you're open to connecting with a different 521 00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,040 Speaker 2: type of person, and they're connecting with you differently. So 522 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:03,719 Speaker 2: so when you change, everything that is in front of 523 00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:06,639 Speaker 2: you and all of your options changed because you changed. 524 00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:10,919 Speaker 2: And so lens, yeah, your lens changed, your perspective changes, 525 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:14,560 Speaker 2: and everything that attracts to you and that you're attracted 526 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,840 Speaker 2: to changes. So that is one hundred percent I believe 527 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:17,000 Speaker 2: in that. 528 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,720 Speaker 1: JD. I have to put a pin in this conversation 529 00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,880 Speaker 1: because there is so much here that I think we're 530 00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:26,480 Speaker 1: going to be lucky enough to parlay this into two episodes. 531 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:30,080 Speaker 1: So I know our listeners are going to stay tuned 532 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:38,280 Speaker 1: for Part two.