Speaker 1: Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. You are tuned into
Speaker 1: the Vitamin D with Dawn Day podcast and I am
Speaker 1: your host, Dawn Day, here to get you excited about
Speaker 1: your life so that you can live life on purpose
Speaker 1: and for a purpose. And this is your first time
Speaker 1: tuning in and welcome Vitamin D. It's upon off our name.
Speaker 1: My name is Dawn, and you get Vitamin D from
Speaker 1: the sun. So I'm here to shed light into your life.
Speaker 1: And I do this with inspirational insights and conversations with
Speaker 1: celebrities and everyday people like you and me, Because if
Speaker 1: you want to be better and you want to do better,
Speaker 1: then you're going to have to be able to see better.
Speaker 1: So join me on this journey of living our best
Speaker 1: lives and understanding and realizing how you are your greatest
Speaker 1: assad I want to encourage you to use your tools
Speaker 1: in your toolbox. What do you want mean by that?
Speaker 1: I think sometimes we have to uh use different things
Speaker 1: to help us on our way to ensure we get
Speaker 1: to an arrived word is that we need to arrive
Speaker 1: to and that we show up as our most authentic
Speaker 1: and truthful self. The other day, on my walking route,
Speaker 1: you know, I walk five miles. Each morning, an elderly
Speaker 1: woman comes up to me. She's asking for directions, UM
Speaker 1: for a Jewish grocery store. Now I know I've seen
Speaker 1: this grocery store because I passed by this neighborhood every morning.
Speaker 1: So she said, do you know if this grocery store
Speaker 1: called Glad somebody had pointed it down to me. I said, well,
Speaker 1: sure I do. Now I couldn't differentiate which way uh
Speaker 1: the grocery store was, but I said, let me put
Speaker 1: it in my map and we can get there. She says, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't have a phone map or anything like that.
Speaker 1: As to advance. I said, well, it's down this way.
Speaker 1: Let's walk together. So she said sure. She said, can
Speaker 1: you tell me what's your name? I said, dawn like
Speaker 1: the break of day, and she said she giggled. She said,
Speaker 1: how are you dawn like the break of day? My
Speaker 1: name's Florence, I told her. I said, it's such a
Speaker 1: pleasure to meet you. We began to walk and talk
Speaker 1: and just talk about gratitude. I'm talked about life, talked
Speaker 1: about how the pandemic has changed so much in our
Speaker 1: lives and how it's so important to live in the now,
Speaker 1: understanding the gift of the now and just to be
Speaker 1: present in the now. In the midst of the conversation,
Speaker 1: Florence looks at me and she says, Oh, my goodness,
Speaker 1: I want to apologize. I I just don't remember things
Speaker 1: like I used to. What's your name again? I said,
Speaker 1: Florence is quite all right, I said, my name is Dawn,
Speaker 1: like the break of day. I said, Florence, you know,
Speaker 1: sometimes we have to use different tools to help us remember.
Speaker 1: I said. One thing that I learned if you want
Speaker 1: to memorize someone's name is to say it three times.
Speaker 1: I said. A trick that I do is that I'll
Speaker 1: compliment somebody, so I may say, hey, Florence, I love
Speaker 1: your shoes, Florence, I really love your hair. Florence, what
Speaker 1: time is it ensuring that I say your name three times?
Speaker 1: I will remember? She looked at me and she said, wow,
Speaker 1: that's really good. She said, well, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: I guess us all right, and I said absolutely. I said,
Speaker 1: it's so important that we have grace with ourselves, and
Speaker 1: it's we're not going to be great at everything, but
Speaker 1: if we use the tools that we got, we can
Speaker 1: surely get by. Right as we begin to further along walk,
Speaker 1: she began to tell me how great it was to
Speaker 1: have the conversation and Shoan behold. We began to approach
Speaker 1: Glot and she said, you know, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for this conversation. I'll hope you have a blessed and
Speaker 1: wonderful day. And she said, you know, I'm Florence like
Speaker 1: the flow, So I want to encourage you to go
Speaker 1: with the flow of life. Understand that it's a yes
Speaker 1: and process and it's not always a pivot. Go in
Speaker 1: your toolbox and use the tools that you need to
Speaker 1: get to where it is that you need to go. Remember,
Speaker 1: if you're gonna have grace, that includes space, get your
Speaker 1: Videamny right with me and get excited about your kyana.
Speaker 1: A Monroe is in here with me. I'm out of
Speaker 1: applause here in mine And we were like, don why
Speaker 1: are we doing a round of applause? Well, I got
Speaker 1: somebody special in here where all of my guests are special,
Speaker 1: but this is so special because you know, I always
Speaker 1: talk about how vulnerability is everything, huh, and how vulnerability
Speaker 1: allows us the ability to connect, and often times I
Speaker 1: feel that we aren't necessarily vulnerable is because um, we're
Speaker 1: thinking about all the people and things that we're letting
Speaker 1: into our life an evasion of privacy. But I just
Speaker 1: want to serve as a reminder that vulnerability is all
Speaker 1: about letting yourself out so that you can be seen,
Speaker 1: so that you can be heard, and more importantly, so
Speaker 1: that you can connect. And we're gonna connect today. We
Speaker 1: got something serious to talk about, things that I'm going
Speaker 1: to be knowledgeable about what's going on, and I hope
Speaker 1: that it shed lights to you and I hope that
Speaker 1: um it inspires you to help someone else or perhaps
Speaker 1: to seek help if you need it, but more importantly,
Speaker 1: to know that it's just not you. What am I
Speaker 1: talking about. I'm talking about trafficking. UM, sex trafficking. Just
Speaker 1: did some quick research. I was looking on deliver fund
Speaker 1: dot org and reports that there is an estimated between
Speaker 1: fifteen thousand to fifty thousand women and children who are
Speaker 1: forced into sexual slavery in the US every year. Catch that. Now,
Speaker 1: you also need to keep in mind that this is
Speaker 1: just an estimate. UM. As you can imagine, this is
Speaker 1: something that is difficult to research because we're still missing
Speaker 1: people right. Furthermore, how many people are coming forth with
Speaker 1: their story the total number of current sex trafficking victims
Speaker 1: in the US is estimated between one hundred to three
Speaker 1: hundred and twenty five thousand people. And so that leads
Speaker 1: me to a special guest. Like I said, I have
Speaker 1: Kiana in here with me. Hi, Kiana, thank you for
Speaker 1: coming in and welcome to the Vitamin D for podcast.
Speaker 1: Thank you for inviting me. I appreciate it. It's an
Speaker 1: honor to to be here and talk to you and
Speaker 1: to shed light on a topic that's very near and
Speaker 1: dear to my heart personally. Yes, I'm so grateful that
Speaker 1: you're here. And I want to make it clear now,
Speaker 1: if there's anything or anything you don't want to answer,
Speaker 1: just let me know because I don't know. But I
Speaker 1: don't want to preface anything. I want to come as
Speaker 1: a real person that's trying to understand and furthermore to
Speaker 1: get the message out. And yeah, that's sense. And I
Speaker 1: was just thinking, I was like, how did I come
Speaker 1: across I don't know if I've ran across your page
Speaker 1: on social media. I don't know what happened, but here
Speaker 1: an right here and now, said I am because the
Speaker 1: woman is talking about being involved in sex trafficking. I said,
Speaker 1: I've never heard anyone share a story like that, let
Speaker 1: alone have lived out the real experience. So I know
Speaker 1: I said some things, but can you normally you did? You? Did?
Speaker 1: You absolutely? My name is Kiana Monroe. I am a
Speaker 1: child trafficking survivor and I am currently working with young
Speaker 1: girls and women all over the world. And bringing awareness
Speaker 1: is not even I feel like there's there's no word awareness,
Speaker 1: but bringing an understanding of how things are happening, you know,
Speaker 1: in your neighborhoods, in plain sight, without even you know,
Speaker 1: most people acknowledging it. It's it's a day to day
Speaker 1: And I think that there's not enough safety for women,
Speaker 1: there's not enough safety for girls, and there's not enough support,
Speaker 1: um when it comes to believing women and girls when
Speaker 1: they are talking about things of that matter. So, for
Speaker 1: anyone that may not necessarily know what is sex trafficking,
Speaker 1: sex trafficking is when it's some one forces you without
Speaker 1: permission or manipulates you or threatens you, um, kidnapping as
Speaker 1: well to do labor sex labor for um for pay.
Speaker 1: And a lot of people think, you know, trafficking is
Speaker 1: just sex, but it's sometimes it's it's more than that.
Speaker 1: But we're staying with with that. And it happens all
Speaker 1: around the world, um, especially here in America. UM, it
Speaker 1: happens a lot in school districts, in the in the
Speaker 1: areas around schools. You get a lot of predators that
Speaker 1: kind of hang out in those areas and malls and
Speaker 1: so on and so forth. Um. A lot of times,
Speaker 1: believe it or not, it happens with people that most
Speaker 1: of these girls are close to. Sometimes it's even family,
Speaker 1: believe it or not, family family members or sex trafficking. Yeah,
Speaker 1: a lot of times family members, you know, will sell
Speaker 1: their children, you know, and traffic their children for money
Speaker 1: for paying off their debt. You know. Um, if there
Speaker 1: if you have a parent that is on drugs and
Speaker 1: they have a daughter. Sometimes even boys get trafficked. Believe
Speaker 1: it or not. But what they do is that's how
Speaker 1: they'll you know, get their drugs. They'll sell their child. Well,
Speaker 1: what's the difference between sex trafficking and prostitution. It's really
Speaker 1: not a huge difference to to to be honest, um,
Speaker 1: especially for self versus utilizing someone else. Maybe here's the
Speaker 1: thing prostitution. Prostitution is probably most people think it's being
Speaker 1: out on a corner and you you have a pamp,
Speaker 1: you know, and you are willingly sometimes going out standing
Speaker 1: on that corner, doing it out of fear, sometimes out
Speaker 1: of force. But with trafficking, they're not always standing out
Speaker 1: on on on corners like that. Their transactions are made
Speaker 1: with whomever they're there. John Doe is or I like
Speaker 1: to call it the trauma or Lessia mayor Um. That's
Speaker 1: a name that I gave Um. A lot of people
Speaker 1: call him a Romeo right where they're a little bit younger.
Speaker 1: So here's here's the thing. For example, you may have
Speaker 1: let's just say a guy who's been their thirties, forties, fifties,
Speaker 1: however old, right, he's not going to walk into a
Speaker 1: school and talk to the girls. They will send a
Speaker 1: boy fourteen fifteen, sixteen years old. That's a room that
Speaker 1: that that's me, that's right, and to go in there
Speaker 1: and flirt and lure some of the girls in. And
Speaker 1: the thing is, when you have so many girls with
Speaker 1: low self esteem, right, with thoughts of unworthiness, they don't
Speaker 1: know who they are. Um, They're trying to fit in
Speaker 1: and they're they're looking for validation outside of themselves, and
Speaker 1: they get caught in that. And I know, like I'm
Speaker 1: looking at your face and you're like, what what doing is?
Speaker 1: I've been mindful and working on listening, Like I have
Speaker 1: so many questions. I want to interject, but I'm making room.
Speaker 1: But I want to receive anything you're saying and preparing um,
Speaker 1: you know, just receiving it. And and no one, And
Speaker 1: I guess I was thinking. I was like, well here
Speaker 1: I am going no, no, no, No one looks and
Speaker 1: and and thinks about you know, a fifteen sixteen year
Speaker 1: old on campus. You know, even if even if he's
Speaker 1: at a middle school, right, somebody's like, all that's right,
Speaker 1: or you'll look at a oh he's a you know,
Speaker 1: like little things like that, and people are like, you know,
Speaker 1: it's probably somebody's older cousin or older brother. They think
Speaker 1: nothing of it, absolutely nothing of it, with no questions
Speaker 1: or understand Like people are not paying attention. That's why
Speaker 1: I say it's hiding in plain sight. People are not
Speaker 1: paying attention to girls in their body language, who they're
Speaker 1: hanging out with, who, who their circle of friends are changing, behavior,
Speaker 1: changing in moods, change of you know, just their academics
Speaker 1: and how they're doing in school. So for then you
Speaker 1: have social media. Listen, you have social media. You have
Speaker 1: people who are pedophiles with these what do you with
Speaker 1: these handles that are of like cartoons or stolen identities.
Speaker 1: You get that type of stuff all the time. And
Speaker 1: it's to me, social media and the Internet is a
Speaker 1: pedophiles playground. Oh wow, Yeah, truly it is. It's not
Speaker 1: someone meet up and it's there. But okay, we're gonna
Speaker 1: we're gonna talk further into that. But let's talk about
Speaker 1: let's talk about you tell us who Kiana is. Um.
Speaker 1: I am an l A native. I know it's rare,
Speaker 1: right because you're all of us transplants infiltrated Yo City.
Speaker 1: So you grow U with l A. You're raised by
Speaker 1: your mom and your dad. Your mom, who would you
Speaker 1: raise a village? A village um south central l A?
Speaker 1: You know, to be exam from the hood, but I'll
Speaker 1: find try what I'm from the hood. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. It was a change in your face. But
Speaker 1: I mean people were like, oh my gosh, she's so
Speaker 1: she went spon and she did this, But I'm still
Speaker 1: from that, right, you know, don't get delicted, um, But
Speaker 1: I was raised by my family, my mom, um and
Speaker 1: my dad. They were really young when they had me.
Speaker 1: So my mom was thirteen and my dad was seventeen.
Speaker 1: I know, babies having a baby, and so you know,
Speaker 1: you had I had uncles that were young and my
Speaker 1: aunts that were young, and it was a big family.
Speaker 1: So it was a bunch of cousins. And back then
Speaker 1: it was you know, you had your big mama's outside
Speaker 1: and um, everybody knew everybody on the blocks and things
Speaker 1: like that. So between that having young parents and then
Speaker 1: my neighborhood was like gang and drug infested. I tell people,
Speaker 1: when you think about where I grew up, think about
Speaker 1: boys in the hood, right, Yeah, because we we actually
Speaker 1: watched them film that we me and my cousins and
Speaker 1: some other kids in the neighborhood. We walked across the
Speaker 1: tracks and watched them, you know, do some of the filming. Um,
Speaker 1: when you think of Friday between Normandy and Western, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I grew up in between Normandy and Western on Vernon.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. And so, um, I say,
Speaker 1: that's that's my l a. Those are those are my neighborhoods,
Speaker 1: Minister Society, those are my neighborhood. Yeah, I grew up
Speaker 1: in that MM hmm. So, uh, what was it like
Speaker 1: growing up? I mean, you got your family around, it
Speaker 1: was in the hood. What kind of breeding ground was
Speaker 1: this UM for you? You know what it was? It's
Speaker 1: really what the college. So you sound like you you know,
Speaker 1: you were in your studies, so you know what. I'm
Speaker 1: a nerd. I've always been a nerd. I'm definitely cut
Speaker 1: from a different cloth. Um. I was always a straight
Speaker 1: a student. But I think one of the statements that
Speaker 1: I made to a friend of mine is I think
Speaker 1: I was like hit right up right at the womb.
Speaker 1: There was an agenda for me right off the womb
Speaker 1: because my first UM sexual abuse experience was at six
Speaker 1: years old. At six so at the time, my dad,
Speaker 1: I think he was UM in the military and it
Speaker 1: was just my my mother and she left me UM
Speaker 1: with her boyfriend's brother too babysit and at that time
Speaker 1: he well who my mom was dating just so happened
Speaker 1: to be a drug dealer. UM. They went out and
Speaker 1: his brother. She left me with his brother. His brother
Speaker 1: and a girlfriend. They were at the house. So my
Speaker 1: mom and her boyfriend they left and I stayed, right
Speaker 1: I was about six years old, UM, and I stayed
Speaker 1: and I watched cartoons. I thought absolutely nothing of it, right,
Speaker 1: I thought I thought nothing of it. Um, you see
Speaker 1: drugs all the time. You see people slaying all the time.
Speaker 1: You see people, you know, past a bag of a
Speaker 1: dub when we talk about right, and then you know
Speaker 1: with with crack cocaine, you see him put the little
Speaker 1: lines on the table at six year saw this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've seen all of it. Right, So, like you're not
Speaker 1: even thinking about that. You just want to watch cartoons,
Speaker 1: you know, I mean you really like that's that that's
Speaker 1: not even that's just that's normal. I just wanna watch cartoons, right,
Speaker 1: And me being six years old, I didn't even think
Speaker 1: to myself, why am I being left with a stranger?
Speaker 1: I didn't think anything else. Was that a normal thing
Speaker 1: to just you know, your mom might drop you off
Speaker 1: load you watch the real quick baby baby sad, you know.
Speaker 1: So I didn't think anything of it. Um. The boyfriend, well,
Speaker 1: the the brother and his girlfriend they got into an
Speaker 1: argument whatever you can you hear them yelling in the background.
Speaker 1: She left, right, she left, and that's when he came
Speaker 1: into the living room and and raped me. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: and it was a very um, it was a very
Speaker 1: brutal experience for me. So again, you gotta tell me,
Speaker 1: like if I'm going too far, if I'm saying anything,
Speaker 1: and you may say hey no and something is a
Speaker 1: common sense, but just to understand, do you remember it,
Speaker 1: because you know some things people shut back, but you
Speaker 1: remember this day? Yeah? I remember, um now, as I
Speaker 1: got older. Once I got older and got into therapy,
Speaker 1: I was able to really go back as an adult,
Speaker 1: as a healed adult too, to process what was going
Speaker 1: on when it was going on. And at that time,
Speaker 1: I had, you know, my little Pocahona's braids, and it
Speaker 1: was a little girl. He took my braids out right. Um,
Speaker 1: I was duct taped, I was, I was tied. It was,
Speaker 1: it was. It was brutal. Um. I just think that
Speaker 1: taking my my pigtails out like my little braids, Um,
Speaker 1: in his mind was making me not look so much
Speaker 1: like a little girl. Of course he was drinking. You
Speaker 1: could smell alcohol, right, But yeah, it was bad. And
Speaker 1: my my fight was not a heavy fight. It was
Speaker 1: an uncomfortable fight. It was a scared fight, not knowing
Speaker 1: what I should be fighting about. And I knew I
Speaker 1: was being hurt and I was scared, and I knew,
Speaker 1: you know, being ducted. Something's not right. This is not
Speaker 1: I'm being about to get a spanking like I had
Speaker 1: no idea. So yeah, what happened after that? UM? I
Speaker 1: do remember maybe about halfway through I I blacked out,
Speaker 1: Like I think I passed out, because all I remember
Speaker 1: was my mom waking me up in the morning and
Speaker 1: um saying, come on, let's go home. I was every everything,
Speaker 1: So I don't know when she came in to see me,
Speaker 1: what she saw. I don't know any of that. I
Speaker 1: just went and I told I end up telling her
Speaker 1: when when we got hung, I was completely quiet. She
Speaker 1: thought something was wrong with me. And what did she say? Um,
Speaker 1: what did you say? Hey ma, what did you say?
Speaker 1: I said, Mommy, that man the his brother, Um, I
Speaker 1: forgot his his name, but I said, mommy, his brother
Speaker 1: put tape on my face and touched my private parts.
Speaker 1: And that's that's what I remember. And she said what
Speaker 1: And I said, he typed me and touched my private
Speaker 1: parts and she said no, and and she said, okay,
Speaker 1: go go go take a nap, Go take a nap.
Speaker 1: And she said, and don't tell anybody, don't tell anybody
Speaker 1: that She's like, let me let me, let me, let
Speaker 1: me talk to your grandmother and go take a nap,
Speaker 1: Go take a nap. Don't tell anybody. Your silence to
Speaker 1: when it happened, and then silenced again after that. So
Speaker 1: when I think of myself, right and I go back,
Speaker 1: I say, okay, my mother was thirteen, right, so at
Speaker 1: six years old, my mother is probably years old a
Speaker 1: twenty year old. What is a twenty year old thinking
Speaker 1: when her child tells her she's been raped? Now I
Speaker 1: have my son at twenty to me that you know
Speaker 1: that that's a death wish. But coming from a family
Speaker 1: of abuse, there's incests in my family. Oh how how
Speaker 1: much time do you have? Um? So? But the first
Speaker 1: time it was not was not family, but the next
Speaker 1: time it was, yeah, okay, So mama said, don't say anything.
Speaker 1: Let me go talk to your grandma. What goes on
Speaker 1: with little Kiota after this? Um man? Fear A lot
Speaker 1: of fear. I felt I got I was going to
Speaker 1: get in trouble. I felt like I did something. I
Speaker 1: felt like, um, I might get a spanking or I
Speaker 1: might be on punishment. Um And it was my mom
Speaker 1: and my mommy said, don't tell anybody, And so I
Speaker 1: didn't say anything to anybody else until my until my
Speaker 1: mother gave me permission, I wasn't going to say anything.
Speaker 1: And that's just that's it. So from me at the
Speaker 1: time that your mother said not to say anything from
Speaker 1: her boyfriend's brother, you said that there was incest in
Speaker 1: your family. When did the incests start? Nine? Yeah? Nine? Um,
Speaker 1: and those on my mother's side, and it was my
Speaker 1: my d O is my uncle Jose And yeah that
Speaker 1: happened for he was on you called about I don't know, okay, yeah, Um,
Speaker 1: it wouldn't be the first time. And my thing is,
Speaker 1: you know, you what what my what? My? You know?
Speaker 1: Keep covering you up. For um, I'm glad you said
Speaker 1: that because I feel like, would I cover you? People
Speaker 1: feel like they got to protect people, just like I
Speaker 1: wonder if it's sometimes like a shame no no, I
Speaker 1: I well for me, maybe they don't want them to
Speaker 1: be shamed. But um, it's my story to tell. And
Speaker 1: and my thing is if if you didn't want to
Speaker 1: be shamed, you shouldn't have done what you did. So
Speaker 1: it's something that because I have to carry that the
Speaker 1: rest of my life. I can't erase my memory. You
Speaker 1: don't get to erase yours. You don't get to forget
Speaker 1: yours because you know I've hushed and I don't want
Speaker 1: to call you out. I don't. I don't mind. Um,
Speaker 1: it is what it is. But three years of of that,
Speaker 1: you know, and it stopped because he went to prison.
Speaker 1: You know, he did his third strike. He was on drugs.
Speaker 1: He was he was the oldest. He was on drugs.
Speaker 1: Um very protected um by my grandmother, my aunt. You know,
Speaker 1: everyone had sympathy for him. Why are they leaving you
Speaker 1: around him? I'm sure this isn't the first time and
Speaker 1: pardoned me. As I say this, I'm not as an
Speaker 1: attack on your family. I'm just wondering if someone is
Speaker 1: thinking that such as a behavior as like this has happened,
Speaker 1: what would think, Well, where is kioa? When when when
Speaker 1: uncle or Tia Jose is you know like yeah, um,
Speaker 1: people were just doing getting by doing they gotta do.
Speaker 1: Everybody was doing what they wanted to do. Would happen
Speaker 1: usually very late, um at night in the evening and
Speaker 1: people were sleep, um, and he would just come into
Speaker 1: the come into the bedroom, you know, or you know,
Speaker 1: I'd have I'd sleep, want pull out couch or I'd
Speaker 1: fall asleep watching cartoons in one of the other rooms
Speaker 1: or in the den, and he would come in late
Speaker 1: at night when everybody's everybody's sleeping. Right, Oh, I said
Speaker 1: something I told my mother, And that was the first
Speaker 1: time she believed me, right because her thing was, we
Speaker 1: know he's he's done something like that before. Let's go
Speaker 1: tell your grandmother. And then she said, let's go tell
Speaker 1: your grandmother together. Right. Um. The first time, I don't
Speaker 1: know why she didn't believe me, right, Um, I knew
Speaker 1: that the boyfriend stopped coming around. So the second time,
Speaker 1: with with my uncle, we went to go tell my
Speaker 1: grandmother and I was surprised, and I think my mother
Speaker 1: was surprised because my grandmother was upset. It's her first son,
Speaker 1: it's her oldest son, right, And she was more upset
Speaker 1: with me what she was upset with you what. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she she was upset. There was the demeanor, she was stern.
Speaker 1: She was huffing and puffing, and I'm just kind of
Speaker 1: looking like, am I gonna get in trouble? You know?
Speaker 1: I didn't want to get in trouble. I don't want
Speaker 1: my mom to get in trouble, you know. And the
Speaker 1: first thing she said was you need to wear a
Speaker 1: different pijamas, Kiana, what I need to wear a different now? Me?
Speaker 1: I had? Do you remember that, Remember the pajamas with
Speaker 1: the ruffles at the bottom. Yeah, rainbow bright on my
Speaker 1: little pony, right right. I went to slee I still
Speaker 1: slept with a with a glow worm and my kid's sister.
Speaker 1: So I'm just thinking, Okay, have to wear different. So
Speaker 1: she basically said to me as a nine year old,
Speaker 1: I am bringing this on myself. Whatever I'm wearing, right,
Speaker 1: it's causing this for me. I'm doing it. So I
Speaker 1: felt embarrassed. I was shamed. I felt like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm doing something. I have no idea. I told my mom.
Speaker 1: I was just like, I need I need pajamas. I
Speaker 1: need other pajamas. I need pants, pajamas. Like. My mother
Speaker 1: was not happy. You could just look at her face
Speaker 1: and just it's like she saw a ghost. She wasn't
Speaker 1: expecting that answer. I wasn't expecting to hear that answer either.
Speaker 1: I didn't change pajamas. It didn't stop for three years now.
Speaker 1: It didn't happen every day, but it happened consistent, consistently
Speaker 1: enough that it shaped my mind that I expected it
Speaker 1: I went to school. Sometimes when I would do is
Speaker 1: stay at school longer. I would leave and try to
Speaker 1: go to school before school starts and get there early
Speaker 1: and spend time with my teachers. Like I said, I
Speaker 1: was a nerd, so I read books. I I was
Speaker 1: straight A student. So oh yeah, I was a straight
Speaker 1: A student. And that the situations and all that that
Speaker 1: happened at home in my neighborhood just made me want
Speaker 1: to stay at school and be around what felt say
Speaker 1: as long as I could, because I knew when I
Speaker 1: go home, you don't know what's going to happen that night.
Speaker 1: And as smart as I was, I started to not
Speaker 1: really have any respect for adults. I just felt like,
Speaker 1: you know, adult in my family, they don't keep you safe. Um.
Speaker 1: I was told that I was a smart mouth and
Speaker 1: I did a lot of back talking, and then I
Speaker 1: was fast, you know, because I was always in you know,
Speaker 1: people's face type thing. Um, But I just I back
Speaker 1: talk because I felt like no one's protecting me. I
Speaker 1: don't I don't trust anyone any anymore. I'm mad, It
Speaker 1: really was. I was just I was mad and hurt.
Speaker 1: So did you did your GIRLFRIENDA loved? No from not
Speaker 1: not really now on my on my dad's side, right,
Speaker 1: where's your dad when all he's because he's still what
Speaker 1: my dad was was in the military. Um. But then
Speaker 1: here's the thing, you know, I found out I found
Speaker 1: out later because around around that time eight nine, I
Speaker 1: just noticed he wasn't really coming around at all. I
Speaker 1: found out later because he told me when I got
Speaker 1: a little bit older that my grandmother and my aunt's
Speaker 1: used to have a problem with him picking me up
Speaker 1: and putting me on his shoulders, you know, when dad's
Speaker 1: put their their kids on the shoulders. They got on
Speaker 1: his case about that. No, kisses, don't don't be picking
Speaker 1: her up when she has on a dress like and
Speaker 1: my dad. No, my mom's side was saying to my
Speaker 1: dad exactly exactly, and he was my dad is shut.
Speaker 1: He was like, wait, what this is my daughter? What
Speaker 1: are you guys? They monitored my dad very heavy meybewhile
Speaker 1: you're tied exactly. There's a whole bobbit app exactly. And
Speaker 1: my grandmother, um on my dad, my dad's mother, my granny,
Speaker 1: she she said, I knew something was going on. I
Speaker 1: just didn't know what. I thought that you were just
Speaker 1: always getting in trouble that you just didn't feel loved
Speaker 1: or that you were getting picked on because I fought
Speaker 1: a lot. I had a bunch of cousins. I was
Speaker 1: fighting all the time. You know, I was getting my
Speaker 1: butt kicked because you know, I'm in the hood, but
Speaker 1: I'm listening to like, you know, Chicago, Kenny Loggins, Barbara
Speaker 1: streisand it John, you know, the Top of Whitney Uston
Speaker 1: and all that, and listening to like classical music and
Speaker 1: film score. So they were just like, what are you
Speaker 1: listening to a like disco? So I was really different
Speaker 1: stard um and I liked what I what I liked,
Speaker 1: and music was like a huge escape from me. And
Speaker 1: my favorite song was Mahogany by Diana Ross because of
Speaker 1: the score of the music. So um my, I fell
Speaker 1: into that. But my grandmother, my granny thoughts, you know,
Speaker 1: maybe something's going on. No one was telling her anything,
Speaker 1: but she could just tell that my body demeanor and
Speaker 1: I wasn't saying anything, and she asked, are you okay?
Speaker 1: But I always kept in my mom's My mom said,
Speaker 1: don't tell anybody anything, and my grandmother end up saying
Speaker 1: that too, don't tell anybody what goes on in my house.
Speaker 1: Oh you know that's something about speaking of this African
Speaker 1: American households. I feel like that whole shame. Don't tell
Speaker 1: anybody what stays and here stays, so you carry all
Speaker 1: that way. And you know, I've I've had some friends
Speaker 1: that have been assaulted, who have been molested by family
Speaker 1: members and so forth. And even recently I got his
Speaker 1: one friend where she has a sister, and her sister
Speaker 1: was molested. I'm not sure if it was by her
Speaker 1: father or her sibling's father, and she has a lot
Speaker 1: of anger towards her mother, and her mother says, well,
Speaker 1: you can't blame me because I didn't know. Now, pardon me.
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to overstep. Uh, I just know me
Speaker 1: growing up, I knew the sound of my mama's kids.
Speaker 1: Would she walked to the house exactly, You knew how
Speaker 1: she closed the door, closed the car door. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And so it makes me furious. Um,
Speaker 1: But I don't know if I have a right. I
Speaker 1: just feel like I just don't feel like it carries
Speaker 1: enough weight for the other being that you held in
Speaker 1: your body, that you see every day, that you delaid
Speaker 1: on your chest, that you know, their breath, their moment,
Speaker 1: and you're telling me that you noticed that you didn't
Speaker 1: notice that something was different. That's something that has changed.
Speaker 1: You're a damn lie and I think it's unfair and
Speaker 1: I think you're wrong. M Part of me got invested
Speaker 1: because it stood out to me that your granny said, baby,
Speaker 1: I see you, I see that something is different. And
Speaker 1: perhaps that's that's the thing, because I know, like it's
Speaker 1: a child like our dream is that we want to
Speaker 1: be seen mm hmm. You want to be seeing her
Speaker 1: valued and understood and understood. And I just felt like
Speaker 1: no one understood why I stayed at school so much.
Speaker 1: No one understood why I was backed on. No, they
Speaker 1: want to know what you would do it No, and
Speaker 1: and here's the thing, and and and when you pay
Speaker 1: attention to the movement, right, it kind of sets itself up.
Speaker 1: I feel like the trafficking was set up. I was said,
Speaker 1: I was. I felt like I was primed for it,
Speaker 1: if that, if that makes sense, I was. I was
Speaker 1: groomed to not tell before that even came into the picture.
Speaker 1: I was groomed to keep my mouth closed. I was
Speaker 1: groomed to stay silent. I was groomed to keep secrets.
Speaker 1: I was groomed to be told that you know my
Speaker 1: feelings and what I have to say doesn't matter, and
Speaker 1: that I'm not going to be protected. I'm not going
Speaker 1: to be safe, that my family is not going to
Speaker 1: come for me, that no one is going to protect
Speaker 1: me or say or or or or speak up for
Speaker 1: me on my behalf. That structure was already set, that
Speaker 1: foundation was already laid out there, like you can tell
Speaker 1: your mom, you can tell your grandmother, you can tell who.
Speaker 1: No one's gonna be of you anyway. So you learned
Speaker 1: to just be quiet, suppressed, keep it to yourself, and
Speaker 1: figure out a way to manage life. And start when
Speaker 1: you hold on because it sounds like you didn't have anybody.
Speaker 1: So when I was able to go to my grandmother's house,
Speaker 1: I did. There was it wasn't always horrible moments. And
Speaker 1: here the psychological, psychological mind is. I don't want to
Speaker 1: curse because I want to say that you don't talk.
Speaker 1: You don't talk. They were talk, Okay, it's it's a
Speaker 1: psychological mind fuck when you My uncle is the one
Speaker 1: who taught me how to sell to dance. You know,
Speaker 1: he's the one who taught me how to make in ladas,
Speaker 1: and and he's the one who liked a lot of
Speaker 1: the different my favorite foods to cook, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean in the daytime when he's sober. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean. He's the one who taught me how
Speaker 1: to you know, um, hold my notes when I when
Speaker 1: I sing, yes, I have two singles out, but yeah
Speaker 1: and so so this person that I loved became someone
Speaker 1: different at night, and I had to continue to love him,
Speaker 1: and I had to continue to live as if what
Speaker 1: has happened hasn't happened. As a child, do you understand
Speaker 1: what I'm saying? And so enjoying my enjoying my family
Speaker 1: when I can, and suppressing right, But it's not that,
Speaker 1: you know, I had low self esteem. Everybody's like, you're
Speaker 1: so pretty. I wasn't pretty to me. Hence the name
Speaker 1: of the organization I had saw such low self esteem.
Speaker 1: I didn't know what love was supposed to be. Like
Speaker 1: I thought love was supposed to be when you rubbed
Speaker 1: and touched and slept with and all these other things.
Speaker 1: And I didn't know. I had no idea. So by
Speaker 1: the time I went to middle school and I got
Speaker 1: caught up in in the gangs because I was the
Speaker 1: first time I actually told somebody when you when I joined,
Speaker 1: when I joined the game school, because you were trying
Speaker 1: to get away from home. So this is this is
Speaker 1: the same space. Um, I was getting bullied. I think
Speaker 1: I said this before I was. I was. I was
Speaker 1: getting my ass kicked. Me and another friend of mine
Speaker 1: named Grace, and yeah, her und was great. I left her.
Speaker 1: She was she was so nerdy like me and um,
Speaker 1: we went from elementary to to the same middle school
Speaker 1: and we were just getting our blood kicks. The nerdy stuff.
Speaker 1: Didn't it didn't. It didn't do so well in middle school.
Speaker 1: And I remember some some of the girls set her
Speaker 1: hair on fire. Wait what in the girl's bathroom. So
Speaker 1: this is like twelve thirty, yeah, eleven twelve yeah. Um.
Speaker 1: And I was just like I had come to school late,
Speaker 1: this around home room time, and her parents checked her out.
Speaker 1: They were just like there was some moment they were like, nope,
Speaker 1: we out here right, I was going to Like Audubon
Speaker 1: Middle School is a horrible schools not a horrible school,
Speaker 1: but it was. It was. It was rough back then.
Speaker 1: It was listened to the gang life on school campus.
Speaker 1: And I went to crunch a high too. It was
Speaker 1: it was all it's tough in middle school. Middle school, yes,
Speaker 1: and so a lot of but then you know my
Speaker 1: uncle's bang. I grew up in ganging, like oh, I
Speaker 1: was around all of that, right, And so once once
Speaker 1: my friend left, I was just like, why am about
Speaker 1: to begin my asking by my by myself? What's what?
Speaker 1: What are we doing here? What are we doing here?
Speaker 1: And so because I could fight, I had cousins. I've
Speaker 1: been fighting. Listen, one thing I can do, Like, let
Speaker 1: me tell you something. I could fight. But when it's
Speaker 1: like a whole like a bunch of girls, I'm like, look,
Speaker 1: I don't have no cousins here. I just a guy, grace.
Speaker 1: You know. My cousins are older. They were like, you know,
Speaker 1: much older than me, and at different schools, in different campuses.
Speaker 1: So I'm just like, I can't fight all you girls,
Speaker 1: So what what what? What's it gonna be? And one
Speaker 1: of the girls was just like you you might as
Speaker 1: well fight and and and this this is your life,
Speaker 1: Like you either gonna be part of this or you're
Speaker 1: gonna be dealing with that. What's he going? Because you
Speaker 1: don't have the other girl here no more. This is
Speaker 1: one of the girls from the game, like yo, you
Speaker 1: go m hm mm hmm. So he decided to yeah,
Speaker 1: have to fight like ten fifteen girls in the bathroom
Speaker 1: and not fall What does that mean? Like that fall out?
Speaker 1: Now fall down and get stomped out? If you fall it,
Speaker 1: they'll they'll stomp you out. What does that mean? To
Speaker 1: be stopped out? When they you laid down your fetal
Speaker 1: position and they kicking the hill out of you. All
Speaker 1: of them get Yeah, I don't know if you've ever
Speaker 1: seen it, but they get stomped us no joke. No
Speaker 1: I didn't. I can. I can hold my own. So, um,
Speaker 1: I felt when that was over, I had the protection
Speaker 1: I had. Yeah, I was. I was okay, whatich photis?
Speaker 1: Neighborhood crip? Yeah, I wasn't part of that thing. Um,
Speaker 1: And a lot of people don't. They'll look at me
Speaker 1: and say no way. Right. My mom said no way
Speaker 1: when she when she finally saw me one day. Like
Speaker 1: what I would do is I would will put my clothes,
Speaker 1: I would put my trucks, I would put my you know,
Speaker 1: my my dickies. I would wear my uncle. So they
Speaker 1: were like four or five, you know, size is too big.
Speaker 1: You know, everything was bagging that don't don't paint the picture.
Speaker 1: So you got listen, I got I'm about to tell you,
Speaker 1: so you you you, you got your It was very
Speaker 1: rollo style. So you know I had my little button
Speaker 1: right here, my button right here. I had my my dickies.
Speaker 1: It was you know, my my plaid, my blue and
Speaker 1: black you know, checkered shirt. You know, checkered shirt. Um.
Speaker 1: I wore like the black lip liner, you know, black eyeliner,
Speaker 1: hair slicked back into a blunt or a ponytail um
Speaker 1: with like red lipstick or whatever color lipstick would be
Speaker 1: in there with the black lip liner, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. And then I would have rings on every finger.
Speaker 1: Not just that. I was very strategic. I had a
Speaker 1: skull head right that I took safety pin needles and
Speaker 1: I put the safety pin needles, like the needles inside
Speaker 1: of the skull. And then I had to try sarah
Speaker 1: top um rings and try saratops. You know, it's got
Speaker 1: the horns, right, so if I hit you, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: puncture you. Just so that we're clear. This sounds likes
Speaker 1: of stuff like my obviously totally like growing up. This
Speaker 1: is Carrie Razors at about yeah, and so you know
Speaker 1: you just you don't even know slit okay, yeah. Um.
Speaker 1: And then you have you know, you have your your
Speaker 1: blue belt. Um, you know the cloth ones that you
Speaker 1: put the little buck buck and then you tighten them
Speaker 1: around yep. And then you have your your chucks. You
Speaker 1: either wear the black ones with the blue laces or
Speaker 1: the navy blue ones with the blue laces. Um. I
Speaker 1: would put all of that in my backpack. I would
Speaker 1: change when I got to school. I was going to
Speaker 1: girls bathroom. I would change when I got to school sometimes,
Speaker 1: and I was ditching. Here's the thing, though, I was
Speaker 1: still smart, and I was still getting good grades out
Speaker 1: of all of that, and I was actually doing some
Speaker 1: of their homework. But I was ditching. I was ditching.
Speaker 1: I was fighting. Um. And but now you say, because
Speaker 1: you got your crew exactly so I thought. So you thought,
Speaker 1: so I thought. And this is why I teach my
Speaker 1: girls all the time. You choose your friends. You don't
Speaker 1: ever be put in a situation where your friends choose you,
Speaker 1: because they may not be your friends and they may
Speaker 1: have a hidden agenda. I could I had a well,
Speaker 1: at least I thought I had a deep connection with
Speaker 1: one of the girls there. Her name was Kim, and
Speaker 1: I told her all the stuff that was going on
Speaker 1: at home, you know what I'm saying, So you would
Speaker 1: about forta twelve. I was twelve, okay, sixth grade, sixth grade,
Speaker 1: and I told her the stuff that was going on
Speaker 1: with me. And I actually told her about all the rape,
Speaker 1: all this stuff and not being believed everything. And so
Speaker 1: I end up meeting her boyfriend or whoever she was dating.
Speaker 1: The Romeo exactly was the Romeo? He was room. I
Speaker 1: didn't know. I was just he was sixteen. I just
Speaker 1: thought he was cute. It was her boyfriend. So were
Speaker 1: supposed to did school, go to McDonald's, you know, maybe
Speaker 1: go to the mall um, maybe go up the hill
Speaker 1: because up the hill you have from from Audubon and
Speaker 1: you have like Baldwin Hills and View Park and all
Speaker 1: the other jazz and Lamart Park is over there by
Speaker 1: where the school is. So we were either going to
Speaker 1: go to like McDonald's or something that, maybe walk up
Speaker 1: the hills. White donald so be up and I was like,
Speaker 1: all right, bet I'm going I'll go with y'all. Thinking
Speaker 1: I'm grown, you know, I did school because I still
Speaker 1: turned in the homework, I still did I still did
Speaker 1: everything I was supposed to do. Um, I was bad
Speaker 1: and low self esteem. I went stupid and I went
Speaker 1: with them, and we walked into this house. I'll never forget.
Speaker 1: You know how you walk into a room and you
Speaker 1: look around and you just know in your gut it's
Speaker 1: not good to be good for me. It just in
Speaker 1: the pit of Even as young as I was, I
Speaker 1: grew up knowing when somebody about to get pistol whipped.
Speaker 1: I grew up knowing, h some this this I'm about
Speaker 1: to go. Let me go in the house. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean. You gotta walk the streets to school,
Speaker 1: you know when to like, let me go across the street,
Speaker 1: look like something about to go down right there, or
Speaker 1: let me to get ducked down behind the crack like
Speaker 1: I'm trying my should look like just about to get ugly.
Speaker 1: Let me just stuck down type of thing, right, you know. Um,
Speaker 1: not hitting the nuts like shootouts and things like drive bys,
Speaker 1: me know, house raids. When when the cops come, you know,
Speaker 1: the when they make the little pigeon sounds, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, for the berg or certain little claps
Speaker 1: that's would it mean? Like, yess how what? Yeah? You
Speaker 1: gotta go. Yeah. So you know, after a while, you're
Speaker 1: accustomed to paying attention to surrounding. You know, it's just
Speaker 1: some ship about to go down, right. I walk into
Speaker 1: the house and it's full of men and some women.
Speaker 1: There's drugs out, there's bags of weed out, there's um,
Speaker 1: you know, cocaine lines out, there's guns out, um. And
Speaker 1: I'm just like, no, it's not out the norm right,
Speaker 1: this is I'm just like, what are we doing here?
Speaker 1: I was like, what are we doing here? Was McDonald's
Speaker 1: into like who else this is? Whose house is this?
Speaker 1: Where are we at? What? You know? And I'm thinking, well,
Speaker 1: maybe we'll go first. I was just like, well, maybe
Speaker 1: people go to the back, right. I see her going
Speaker 1: to the back, sneaking out to the back, um and
Speaker 1: leaving me there, and I'm looking at her like what
Speaker 1: and and and her Romeo was just like now you stay.
Speaker 1: So come to find out she knew she had already
Speaker 1: told them, told him what I had been raped before,
Speaker 1: and that incest has happened, and nobody believes her. And
Speaker 1: she told them everything they already knew. And they told
Speaker 1: me that they knew. They told me that they knew.
Speaker 1: Once again, you're not saying I'm not safe, You're not protected.
Speaker 1: I'm not I mean, and not only that, but the
Speaker 1: level of betrayal and deceit from somebody that you feel like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I can finally trust somebody and you know, no, no
Speaker 1: you cannot, you know, I mean, no you cannot. And
Speaker 1: you know, they took me upstairs and he was just like, yes,
Speaker 1: you'll work, take her upstairs. And that was my introduction
Speaker 1: to being tried out before putting me out there. And
Speaker 1: then they knew my uncle's they knew my mom, they
Speaker 1: knew where I lived, you know, they knew my my
Speaker 1: routes to school, they knew all my classes, like, they
Speaker 1: knew everything there was to know about me. I've I've
Speaker 1: confided a lot, so they already they already knew. And
Speaker 1: they're they're from a different gang, They're from a completely
Speaker 1: different game. So technically I'm an enemy. My family is
Speaker 1: an even me if there's you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: So oh, it ain't nothing for them to do a
Speaker 1: drive by, you know what i mean. They're on a
Speaker 1: completely different side there there there that this this whole
Speaker 1: click was like pir us, so, which is yeah, now
Speaker 1: it was a blood. There's just there's just it wasn't
Speaker 1: It wasn't gonna work out for me if I did
Speaker 1: anything funny, if I moved funny, it wasn't gonna work
Speaker 1: out for me. And so I took that weight, like, well,
Speaker 1: hell you really ate, like you will get your asked
Speaker 1: with now because you were you weren't supposed to be
Speaker 1: leaving school. What you're gonna do, what you're gonna say?
Speaker 1: What you did? Yeah, you did school. They like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, Kiyota Sho's out there being fast exactly exactly.
Speaker 1: I already told I'm fast all time. Now stop asking
Speaker 1: people for the ice cream from ice cream truck. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know, but it really is just it's really it's
Speaker 1: really funny up because at that time I just felt like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm used to it, so you so, so they bring
Speaker 1: you in the room, they said, try out. She's good
Speaker 1: to work. I mean, it just sounds so ignorant, but
Speaker 1: you know, I can't even recall, God dog it, I
Speaker 1: can't recall the movie. But it was a father and
Speaker 1: I think his daughter was about to get caught up
Speaker 1: in the sex trafficking rate. Oh what's it called, um taken?
Speaker 1: Take it? Yes, I remember watching. It was hard to
Speaker 1: watch when I saw it. When I first saw it,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my, and that's where you and
Speaker 1: I was making that I was envisioning, you know, what
Speaker 1: you were saying, like based on what I saw in
Speaker 1: the movie, or just what it could feel like, the
Speaker 1: sound the people. You know, this young person, Um, nobody
Speaker 1: recognized or not that you were going because like the
Speaker 1: sefth trafficking, he was looking for his daughter. He could
Speaker 1: find her. So here's the thing. And this is what
Speaker 1: I mean by when I say it's it's hidden in
Speaker 1: in plain sight. No one's paying attention to me. No
Speaker 1: one's trying to see what what time is kind of
Speaker 1: coming home? You know, I stay late all the time.
Speaker 1: I'm always out all the time. I ride bikes in
Speaker 1: the street. We would, you know, get on the bikes
Speaker 1: and ride up to USC and be and come in late.
Speaker 1: No one was checking for me. No one's never checking
Speaker 1: from me. And I think too because they feel like, well,
Speaker 1: you know, she's a nerd. All she did was go
Speaker 1: to school. She's about to get into no trouble. They
Speaker 1: didn't they didn't know about the gang stuff. They just
Speaker 1: knew I was getting good grades. That's all that matters.
Speaker 1: My behavior, my demeanor. They didn't pay attention to any
Speaker 1: of that. They thought I was, you know, fast, They
Speaker 1: thought I was sassy. I have smart mouth at a
Speaker 1: slick mouth. Um, I was educated. So I would always
Speaker 1: you know, over talk everybody else and said, what would
Speaker 1: you don't know? Do you even know what this math
Speaker 1: problem is? And like that would be my my slap
Speaker 1: in the face. Um so they no so me being gone,
Speaker 1: they I would leave like after school, or I would
Speaker 1: be made to like ditch school, and they'll be there.
Speaker 1: There's no getting out of it. They're waiting for you. There,
Speaker 1: there's somebody at the entrances and by the schools and
Speaker 1: you and I shot. There's someone sitting in a car,
Speaker 1: so you're being seen. And then you have the other
Speaker 1: girls who are watching you making sure as well. Right,
Speaker 1: other women that were in that house at that time
Speaker 1: were also helping the men. Right, So it's it's it's
Speaker 1: a it's a whole thing. It happens like right under
Speaker 1: people's nose, and women are actively participating in the trafficking
Speaker 1: of some of the younger girls for the for the men. Right,
Speaker 1: whether they getting paid, they're they're getting a cut from it. Um.
Speaker 1: And I made sure that I was always back by
Speaker 1: I don't know, eleven twelve, twelve o'clock at night. You know,
Speaker 1: I thought of sex trafficking. I thought they tried to
Speaker 1: or they prevent their victims from going outside. But you
Speaker 1: are allowed to go home. I was allowed to go home. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I thought sex trafficking. You know, even in the
Speaker 1: movies they said them on to play someone overseas, that happens,
Speaker 1: they're gone, that happens to This is a situation. It's
Speaker 1: happening right. The transactions are going right under the nose,
Speaker 1: and you're not seeing anybody. You would just be a transaction.
Speaker 1: I'm a transaction. And the fear and the silence that
Speaker 1: they play sold you is the only thing that's allowing
Speaker 1: us to keep going the threat of violence. Something happened
Speaker 1: to my mother's happen to my sister and my aunts
Speaker 1: or my grandmother or anybody in my family. Um, they
Speaker 1: would have you go to I've gone to like transactions
Speaker 1: in Beverly Hills, Long Beach, a lot especially by the
Speaker 1: port Um downtown, a lot so corporate men to foreigners,
Speaker 1: um you you name it and believe it or not,
Speaker 1: it's just they You go into the hotel, you do
Speaker 1: what you need to do, and you leave and there's
Speaker 1: somebody waiting to to to get you. So you're not
Speaker 1: leaving and going. No, nobody is wondering what a little
Speaker 1: child is doing it going going in there? No, because
Speaker 1: a lot of times you go with the women as well,
Speaker 1: you have people you check into these hotels and then
Speaker 1: someone else pulls in with with with a kid twelve
Speaker 1: thirteen years old. No one is always paying attention to that.
Speaker 1: What people don't pay attention. People don't pay attention. I
Speaker 1: was hoping in auition that somebody would say, so, don't
Speaker 1: look right, but that never happened. And to to help
Speaker 1: me and to and to save me. And there are
Speaker 1: times when I remember being on a bus, right, some
Speaker 1: of that stuff happens and you're you're on a bus.
Speaker 1: They're taking you to where you need to be, even
Speaker 1: on a bus. Believe it or not, I did. I
Speaker 1: did some training, um said, training and some awareness for
Speaker 1: the Metro l a metro um bus stations um to
Speaker 1: how to identify when you when you see something, what
Speaker 1: what should they be paying attention to when someone's on
Speaker 1: on the bus. Someone paid for me. Um, and I
Speaker 1: got molested on the bus on the bus in the back.
Speaker 1: This is like a like just eighty type of public
Speaker 1: transportation bus is like this is a metro bus, a
Speaker 1: regular metro bus. You see him everywhere? You bitch it?
Speaker 1: You said you had this uh low self estate? Where
Speaker 1: is it I do? Where's your self? Est? Oh? I
Speaker 1: love me, Listen, there's no shame. It took a lot
Speaker 1: of therapy because I think I carried a lot of
Speaker 1: shame and I felt like um for a long time. Um,
Speaker 1: I didn't want to speak about it. I didn't want
Speaker 1: to talk about it. I didn't want to bring family shame.
Speaker 1: I felt like some of that I did to myself.
Speaker 1: I felt like some of that maybe I deserved it.
Speaker 1: Maybe I wasn't a good enough kid. Um, and this
Speaker 1: just was a punishment for me. I felt damaged, right.
Speaker 1: I felt like, no one is going to love me.
Speaker 1: I have been a transaction my whole my whole childhood.
Speaker 1: No one is going to to to want me for
Speaker 1: anything other than that. And it took a lot of
Speaker 1: therapy and a lot of stillness and a lot of
Speaker 1: time with myself. I had to unlearn a lot of
Speaker 1: condition programming. I had to change my my mindset, and
Speaker 1: I had to discover what unconditional love is supposed to
Speaker 1: look like and feel like on on my own, Wow,
Speaker 1: on my own, because I didn't experience it, and it
Speaker 1: was not easy, and it was a lot of trial
Speaker 1: in here. It wasn't easy. It's it's the process, right
Speaker 1: and not looking for friendships, not looking for validation, not
Speaker 1: looking for acceptance, um, being comfortable in my skin, feeling
Speaker 1: pretty and not just physically pretty, like I think I
Speaker 1: have a beautiful spirit. The best part of me is
Speaker 1: the fact that I have such a loving heart in
Speaker 1: spite of not being loved the way I was supposed
Speaker 1: to be loved growing up. Okay, Okay, so we're gonna
Speaker 1: take a quick break. When we come back, we're gonna
Speaker 1: continue this conversation. Okay, yeah, theyble roll uh. And we're
Speaker 1: also going to talk about your non profit Pretty to
Speaker 1: Be and your work as a life counselor stay too
Speaker 1: for this conversation. In spite of a d it's all day, everyone,
Speaker 1: I'm out, and we are investors in Tenoral Seller's wine company.
Speaker 1: Be sure to like, share and subscribed to the Vitamin
Speaker 1: D with down Day podcasts available wherever you get your
Speaker 1: favorite podcasts. All right, we back, y'all. I have Keio
Speaker 1: litle role in here with me. As you know, she
Speaker 1: is an author, counselor, speaker, and a life coach. She
Speaker 1: inspires and supports countless of people um effectively to address
Speaker 1: their personal life challenges. She has experience working with couples
Speaker 1: and individuals who struggle with anxiety, depression, communication, trauma, and loss.
Speaker 1: She exemplifies her belief that loving yourself is not only
Speaker 1: a process, but an everlasting journey. She has a survivor
Speaker 1: of child trafficking and she also is the founder of
Speaker 1: Pretty Sabe, which is a national nonprofit organization that teaches
Speaker 1: young girls the value of life, which is loving yourself
Speaker 1: first and how to cultivate positive body image, deconstruct gender
Speaker 1: media stereotypes. At lea changed throughout their communities with an
Speaker 1: open heart. And I'll tell you that she's an aquarious Yes,
Speaker 1: you know, we we all uh really, I think we
Speaker 1: get along with you guys can blow us out because
Speaker 1: that's like when y'all just almost every humanitarian um good one,
Speaker 1: isn't it? As we care about the world. If you
Speaker 1: know that we we care about what's going on in
Speaker 1: the world, and we we're activists for sure. A friend
Speaker 1: she isn't a court and all into caring about the people,
Speaker 1: making people's rights and stuff. Yep. I get to love
Speaker 1: people for a living. And it was a great choice,
Speaker 1: it was. It was a great choice. I left UM
Speaker 1: Television to to do it. You know, I didn go
Speaker 1: to school for this nonprofit. Right. The nonprofit was was
Speaker 1: purpose driven. Right. I was at usc UM getting my
Speaker 1: my master's in broadcast journalism and working as a sports
Speaker 1: journalist with ESPN, and then from there I went to
Speaker 1: UM NBC Universal working with E and Square Network. And
Speaker 1: my son at the time was in middle school. Right,
Speaker 1: very active parents, very involved going up to the school
Speaker 1: all the time. And I recognize a lot of knees
Speaker 1: because I've lived in experience so much. I catch it.
Speaker 1: I'm paying attention to these girls, what they're saying, how
Speaker 1: they're behaving, and I'm just thinking this, this looks and
Speaker 1: sounds familiar. So many of the girls were looking to see,
Speaker 1: you know, who they can become friends with, and what
Speaker 1: part of groups would should they be a part of,
Speaker 1: and who you know, what kind of clicks and I'm
Speaker 1: just thinking, that's a recipe for that is a recipe
Speaker 1: for disaster. And I did a like there was like
Speaker 1: a little career you know, bring your bring your mom
Speaker 1: to work, or bring a type of thing. And the
Speaker 1: dean said, Mr Monroe, can you come and do something
Speaker 1: for you know, maybe some of the girls and talk
Speaker 1: about the career and you know where you come from
Speaker 1: and give them some hope because a lot of them,
Speaker 1: you know, come from um neighborhoods that they don't they
Speaker 1: don't see a lot of use, they don't see a
Speaker 1: lot of use in real life. So I said, okay,
Speaker 1: I came from there too. I didn't see a lot
Speaker 1: of MEAs either, So I said absolutely and going in
Speaker 1: there taking shoes off, you know, talk in real life
Speaker 1: to them and from start to finish where I started,
Speaker 1: where I am now and all those experiences everything not everything,
Speaker 1: just you know how hard it was, how I had
Speaker 1: to study, how everybody wasn't always rooting for you, and
Speaker 1: nobody you know, dreamed the dreams you know I was dreaming.
Speaker 1: I had to kind of dream some of those by myself.
Speaker 1: Um hits the name of the song. But a lot
Speaker 1: of the girls were like miss ms ms from are
Speaker 1: you coming back? Are you Christians mom? That's Christians mom?
Speaker 1: You know, are you coming back? Are you? Are you
Speaker 1: doing another one? Are you gonna be here after school?
Speaker 1: And they were just someone said, do you notice that
Speaker 1: little girls are like super drawn to you or they're
Speaker 1: staring at you all the time. And it wasn't until
Speaker 1: then that I noticed they do. And I would give
Speaker 1: them hugs and be very affectionate, and I don't know,
Speaker 1: I think it's just you know, good energy, um and
Speaker 1: in a good spirit. But a lot of those girls
Speaker 1: started opening up and sharing things and talking to me
Speaker 1: about things, and I said, well, I've been through some
Speaker 1: things too. You know, I was bullied too, and I
Speaker 1: went through this and my dad wasn't around either, and
Speaker 1: my my mom was young when she had me like
Speaker 1: talking to them, bringing myself down and being as relatable
Speaker 1: as possible. And after a while, working in television wasn't
Speaker 1: as fulfilling anymore as going up to the school. I
Speaker 1: started volunteering my time, taking my sick leave, taking my
Speaker 1: vacation time to volunteer and go and speak and do
Speaker 1: these like little you know, empowerment classes UM where I
Speaker 1: would go in there and talk to them and encourage
Speaker 1: them and and be you know, a soundboard for them.
Speaker 1: And it wasn't until one day I came in. Some
Speaker 1: of the girls were in the office. They had to
Speaker 1: tend they were getting detention. They were going to write
Speaker 1: up because they were late. And they came and I
Speaker 1: asked the dan to give me a moment with them,
Speaker 1: and I found out some of the girls didn't have
Speaker 1: clothes at home, so they were out of uniform. They
Speaker 1: have detention because they were out of uniform, right, some
Speaker 1: of the girls. Um one of the girls, that's something.
Speaker 1: One of the girls was dealing with some abusive stuff
Speaker 1: at home. She didn't tell me all the details, but
Speaker 1: she was just like, bad things are happening to me
Speaker 1: at home, and just it just clicked, okay, all right,
Speaker 1: So I had to asked the Diana said, just I
Speaker 1: talked to them and they won't be back in here.
Speaker 1: I went to Target, got a bunch of uniforms for
Speaker 1: the other girl, right, and for the girl that has
Speaker 1: some stuff going on at home. I said, if you
Speaker 1: if you haven't talked to your mother and you want
Speaker 1: to talk to your mother but you're scared, I will
Speaker 1: talk to her with you, right, and they they the
Speaker 1: dean was just like, I haven't seen them in here
Speaker 1: since they haven't been in there since. And really, what
Speaker 1: it is is instead of sending kids to get in
Speaker 1: trouble and writing them off thinking that they're misbehaving or
Speaker 1: that they're bad, is to go a little deeper and
Speaker 1: kind of find out what's really going on. And sometimes
Speaker 1: with kids, you have to show your actual self. You
Speaker 1: have to show who you really are so that they
Speaker 1: can find some relatabilities to all the time. I'm working
Speaker 1: on it. I'm working on it because I've had and
Speaker 1: so from from there, I started the organization as Okay,
Speaker 1: I quit, I'm gonna take a leap of faith, and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start going in here more often. And I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna do it with this one school and see
Speaker 1: how it goes with a certain group of kids. You released, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I said, you know what, I can always come back here.
Speaker 1: Let me try this. I can always go back to
Speaker 1: television and entertainment if I want to. I can always
Speaker 1: come back to any of that. Let me try this.
Speaker 1: You know. It allows me to be an even more
Speaker 1: active parent because that's the school my son was going
Speaker 1: to write. I started having teachers said, you know, can
Speaker 1: I have some students. I think they would do well
Speaker 1: in your class. And I just started to come and
Speaker 1: show up and be more consistent. And those girls were
Speaker 1: telling me everything. I was going to Starbucks bringing hot chocolate.
Speaker 1: You know, I was bringing Croissans. You know. It was
Speaker 1: just miss Kiana meet Miss Kiana, and and you know
Speaker 1: our hol group, and we all had a relationship. And
Speaker 1: the girls just started to share, and I said, this
Speaker 1: really important to have a healthy bond in relationship with
Speaker 1: one another and trust one another and look after one another.
Speaker 1: You guys have to care for you. Don't judge. You
Speaker 1: don't know what your sisters. These are like sisters. You
Speaker 1: don't know what the other girls are going through at home,
Speaker 1: and all they may have is you, Right. I taught
Speaker 1: them how to compliment each other. When you walk in
Speaker 1: you don't have to be a mean girl, say something nice.
Speaker 1: It was actually mandatory when you come in class, you
Speaker 1: pay compliments. You learn how to and it's it's a
Speaker 1: double edged sword. You learn how to pay a compliment,
Speaker 1: and then you need to learn how to receive a compliment.
Speaker 1: Because hence the pretty to me, right, because I had
Speaker 1: such low self esteem that I didn't think I was
Speaker 1: worth anything, So anybody could do anything to me because
Speaker 1: I didn't matter anyway, you know what I mean? Because
Speaker 1: of how there was us to miscommunication about what love is.
Speaker 1: Did you find yourself seeking that out because you needed
Speaker 1: to feel something. I started doing that a little bit afterwards,
Speaker 1: and not necessarily seeking sex, but seeking affection. But what
Speaker 1: is thinking at this point? So for me, I wanted
Speaker 1: to have somebody I could talk to. I wanted to
Speaker 1: have somebody that I could be next to you. And
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, if I created a
Speaker 1: bond with somebody, maybe he would keep me safe from
Speaker 1: other people. If I created a if I created a
Speaker 1: bond with a boy, maybe that boy will watch over
Speaker 1: me and that would be my safety. And then I
Speaker 1: would have someone to talk to who wouldn't try to
Speaker 1: have sex with me, you know what I mean. But
Speaker 1: he would give me a hug and it would be
Speaker 1: it would be just a hug. U Now, they always
Speaker 1: wanted something more than that. I could never I could
Speaker 1: never achieve it. You know, they they they you know
Speaker 1: you can really put someone in the friend zone. They
Speaker 1: didn't want to be in the friend zone. In the
Speaker 1: first place, you're trying to put them in the friend
Speaker 1: zone so that you can have a safe friend that
Speaker 1: just so happens to be a male. It hardly ever worked,
Speaker 1: but I know the feeling of it. It has to
Speaker 1: be trying, because you're coming down, you're coming to the
Speaker 1: sick of everything that you feel that they have. So
Speaker 1: therefore just's like, oh, yeah, well she needs me right
Speaker 1: And the thing, here's the here's an interesting thing is
Speaker 1: I didn't like sex for a long time. That just
Speaker 1: I just it wasn't something that I enjoyed. It was
Speaker 1: just something that I performed for other people's pleasure and
Speaker 1: for other people, just like you enjoy sex. How were you,
Speaker 1: um my twenties. In my twenties, Um, I had my
Speaker 1: first orgasm to I was twenty nine, and UM, I
Speaker 1: think for me it took therapy because I would be
Speaker 1: triggered like little things that would happen I would, I
Speaker 1: would be triggered with sex. And so for me, I
Speaker 1: am a what you call sabio sexual. To turn me on,
Speaker 1: it has to be intellectually stimulating. I have to know
Speaker 1: that that's that's not what's on your agenda. You actually
Speaker 1: care and love all the other things about me, and
Speaker 1: you just so happen to be attracted to me physically too,
Speaker 1: But that can't be first because of all of the
Speaker 1: things that people were only interested in me because of
Speaker 1: what I look like and because they wanted that from me.
Speaker 1: Now I'm attracted to people who that's not their first interests.
Speaker 1: When it when it when it comes to me, and
Speaker 1: it took it took a long time to define that,
Speaker 1: and I try. I try to teach my girls, and
Speaker 1: believe it or not, I would having counseling for adults.
Speaker 1: I usually work on their inner child, because you have
Speaker 1: the kids with the pretty smet foundation that I'm trying
Speaker 1: to prevent getting caught up in that type of stuff
Speaker 1: and build the foundations and the principles and the morals
Speaker 1: and the character traits right when they're when they're young,
Speaker 1: validating themselves, understanding who they are right, not caring about
Speaker 1: other people's opinion about who they are and what they
Speaker 1: look like. Not seeking approval and acceptance and being lord
Speaker 1: by you know, a little ugly boy, not like that,
Speaker 1: but you know to or or feel like they need
Speaker 1: to be pressured by their friends to do it, because
Speaker 1: all their friends are none is truly and stilly. Confidence.
Speaker 1: That's just simply when you from the inside out love you,
Speaker 1: but you do you love you by liking you, love
Speaker 1: you by accepting you right, and when you can do
Speaker 1: that that was that's what's going to bring the confidence.
Speaker 1: And when they're confident within themselves in all those ways,
Speaker 1: it shows in their academics say you do what do
Speaker 1: you think? That's how you do everything exactly, Then you
Speaker 1: have So I started the Pretty to Me Foundation because
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, I want my girls.
Speaker 1: Do you feel pretty to you? Because that's what matters. First,
Speaker 1: I can tell you you're pretty, but at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, before you walk out the mirror, I'm
Speaker 1: pretty to me. Everybody else's opinion is second next to
Speaker 1: my own about myself. You have that, Then you have
Speaker 1: the adults. I was dealing with some of the parents,
Speaker 1: whether they foster parents or whether they're their biological parents
Speaker 1: or grandparents, and I was just like, Okay, I'm pouring
Speaker 1: all this good stuff into these kids, and we got
Speaker 1: some adults, and some of the adults are undoing my
Speaker 1: work what I'm doing with these with these kids. And
Speaker 1: I said, okay, I need to get a little bit. Uh,
Speaker 1: it's time to get a little bit deeper. So I
Speaker 1: went back to school, right, and I got my certifications
Speaker 1: in neural linguistics programming so that I can help them
Speaker 1: understand their process, how they process their thoughts, how they
Speaker 1: process their emotions, ends, and feelings, and understanding just the
Speaker 1: kind of the psychology of their mindset. Because if you
Speaker 1: can change your mindset and shift your mindset and change
Speaker 1: your life right, So doing that cognitive behavioral health and
Speaker 1: also emotional intelligence and being empathetic, understanding your emotions, regulating
Speaker 1: your emotions right, and having healthy relationships and friendships. UM
Speaker 1: did the confidence building skills. So many of the adults
Speaker 1: didn't have that. And it it took for one of
Speaker 1: the girls UM in my organization that they gave to me,
Speaker 1: tried to hang herself in the bathroom. She was like eleven, UM,
Speaker 1: and come to find out, her mother was kind of
Speaker 1: draining everything I was pouring into her with that, and
Speaker 1: she was getting bullied at school too, So she just
Speaker 1: felt like, you know, there was there was there was
Speaker 1: no hope, and and I said, you know, let me
Speaker 1: start working with with the parents. And so I started
Speaker 1: to have some parents want to sit in on some
Speaker 1: of my workshops, and they said, you do this for
Speaker 1: adults because I was never raised to know that. No
Speaker 1: one ever told me about these things, no one ever.
Speaker 1: I never knew just all of these UM topics on
Speaker 1: confidence building skills and self love and healthy boundaries and
Speaker 1: and understanding your thoughts and feelings and how you speak
Speaker 1: up for yourself and healthy friendships, um, understanding intimacy with self,
Speaker 1: becoming your own friend, just everything I talked to the kids,
Speaker 1: the parents wanted to sit and do it as well,
Speaker 1: So I said, let me start working with with the adults.
Speaker 1: And what I've learned is you have a lot of
Speaker 1: hurt children and adult bodies raising children will become hurt. Yeah, hey,
Speaker 1: catch it, yeah, because hur people are people. Right. So
Speaker 1: you have a song out. You have two songs. It's
Speaker 1: called Dream and then the second one is called Chain,
Speaker 1: which is under that you wrote for your girls who
Speaker 1: are part of your organization. Pretty to me, right, So
Speaker 1: change I wrote, um because it's an extension of what
Speaker 1: an emotionally intelligent relationship looks like. You keep talking about
Speaker 1: emotional intelligence. That's just knowing how you feel and be
Speaker 1: it aware. It's it's it's awareness. Of your emotions, how
Speaker 1: to manage, how to regulate right, understanding empathy right, and
Speaker 1: also managing relationships. And I don't I don't like to
Speaker 1: say managed relationships. Nobody wants to be managed, but the
Speaker 1: awareness of how to have a healthy relationship right, And
Speaker 1: that's that's what it is. What if some people already
Speaker 1: been in tune with their emotions, like can you be
Speaker 1: in tune with your emotions but not good at expressing them? Well? Um,
Speaker 1: to a degree, to a degree. That's why that that's
Speaker 1: why with with my clients, I always uh referred to
Speaker 1: the feelings will, Right, there's a feelings will and then
Speaker 1: with emotions, you have your primary emotions. Right. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: give you example. Um, when you're mad, A lot of
Speaker 1: people say, well, i'm mad at you. You did something
Speaker 1: to me. I'm mad at you. Well, anger is something
Speaker 1: which the cause of that is something that's unfair or unjust.
Speaker 1: So if I'm mad at you you did something that
Speaker 1: was unfair or unjust. If you don't think it was
Speaker 1: un affair unjust, then are you mistaking your anger for hurt?
Speaker 1: Are you sad? Are you grieving because I hurt you?
Speaker 1: Are you? Are you grieving? Because I left you are you?
Speaker 1: You don't understand what I'm saying, So it's it's it's
Speaker 1: the really understanding what the emotion is so that you
Speaker 1: can deal with it, not just having an emotional meltdown.
Speaker 1: You know, I feel like, as I feel like this,
Speaker 1: let's get to the bottle to what's your film so
Speaker 1: I can address it right, and then understanding what you
Speaker 1: feel so you can regulate it right. Because you are
Speaker 1: responsible for your feelings, even if they're provoked, you're responsible
Speaker 1: for those right. So the reason why I have change
Speaker 1: is I wrote that because I have so many people
Speaker 1: that deal with relationships and that some of the lyrics
Speaker 1: are you know, just one that sticks out a lot
Speaker 1: of people say, is you know, have I fallen in
Speaker 1: love with you or an unhealed version of me? Yeah?
Speaker 1: How about fallen in love with two? Or unhealed version
Speaker 1: of me? What? Dah? Yeah, we'll check what you are?
Speaker 1: Oh what are you trying to do today? Listen when
Speaker 1: you listen to the song I promised you'll love it.
Speaker 1: Dream is a song that I wrote um for for
Speaker 1: for the girls right, and it's meant to be inspiring
Speaker 1: and empowering to understand that you know, it's a part
Speaker 1: of what I went through. You may dream your dreams alone,
Speaker 1: but no, you're never on your own, right. That's that's
Speaker 1: one of the lyrics. You may dream them by yourself,
Speaker 1: but you're not by yourself. You may dream them by yourself, right,
Speaker 1: and they're yours, but you still need to go after them.
Speaker 1: You still have to go after them. In the second verse,
Speaker 1: it's I put life in it. I know your past
Speaker 1: relationships have slipped between your fingertips, but take the time
Speaker 1: to love you first, and your heart will reflect what
Speaker 1: you're worth. Right. So that's what I talked to my
Speaker 1: girls about all the time. Dream life may have, there's
Speaker 1: a part in the first first life may have all
Speaker 1: the obstacles, but allow life to teach you what you
Speaker 1: need to know. And you may dream your dreams alone,
Speaker 1: but no, you're never on your own. I choose you,
Speaker 1: I need you to choose you. But your dreams matter
Speaker 1: because you matter, just because your line of work with
Speaker 1: your passion is and based on your experience, what are
Speaker 1: your thought process, what's going on with your line of
Speaker 1: work and the individuals you're dealing with now with the
Speaker 1: ruling has passed or the overturn of roversus weight. I
Speaker 1: think it's disgusting. I think there's a war on women.
Speaker 1: I think that women's bodies are sacred, and I believe
Speaker 1: that things happen. Life happens, especially with girls who are abused.
Speaker 1: And to force a woman to risk death, because that's
Speaker 1: something that's not talked about enough. Labor and delivery. Delivery
Speaker 1: is labor. It's hours and hours and hours of labor,
Speaker 1: and it's hard work. And your body goes through a
Speaker 1: lot of woman's body goes through a lot. My mom,
Speaker 1: she said, having a baby is like going through death.
Speaker 1: It is. And what people don't talk about is there
Speaker 1: are women that die on the table. There are women
Speaker 1: that that that past given birth. Sometimes a husband can
Speaker 1: go in there and leave with his child, and and
Speaker 1: and and walk away with a wife. So to force
Speaker 1: that risk onto somebody who who doesn't want it for
Speaker 1: their body is unfair, especially when they were violated. You
Speaker 1: don't ask somebody to to do that. And in the
Speaker 1: line of work that I do, it's it's common that
Speaker 1: that happens. And these girls, they're very young, they don't
Speaker 1: that's not that's not their story. They don't want that.
Speaker 1: And we were living in a country where they're they're
Speaker 1: not providing healthcare. They're not they're not providing So what
Speaker 1: do you want to do, Philip Foster? Care? You want?
Speaker 1: You like? What is what? What's what's the purpose behind it?
Speaker 1: What's the purpose behind it? Do you think more people
Speaker 1: be sick and you think more lives will actually be
Speaker 1: in danger? I do, because, Uh, something that people are
Speaker 1: not talking about is, first of all, women are going
Speaker 1: to have an abortion one way or another. If they
Speaker 1: don't want it, they're not going to do it right,
Speaker 1: and even if it means possibly putting their life in
Speaker 1: danger of what you know, my my, my, my godparents
Speaker 1: told me. You know that r V way happened when
Speaker 1: you know during their time and the the the sad
Speaker 1: thing is women were dying, they were doing whatever whatever
Speaker 1: it took, and and actually sometimes dying trying to give
Speaker 1: themselves an abortion or mr something right. So that that's
Speaker 1: that women are still going to do it, and they
Speaker 1: might it may cost them their life, right. And then
Speaker 1: too that a lot of people aren't paying attention to
Speaker 1: is for the men who impregnate these girls but they
Speaker 1: don't want to be a father and abortion is no
Speaker 1: longer an option. What do you think they're going to
Speaker 1: do to the girl? What do you what do you
Speaker 1: think they're gonna do? But I think there's gonna be
Speaker 1: some some murder. What I'm serious? Yeah, because you think
Speaker 1: about think I mean from let's just say a certain family,
Speaker 1: this could bring shape. Oh wow, how do I conceal this?
Speaker 1: This kid come out now? I can't. Abortion is not
Speaker 1: an option. We gotta get rid of her and the baby.
Speaker 1: Like that's it exactly exactly like like people don't connect
Speaker 1: those thoughts. They don't think about that. But that's a
Speaker 1: that's a real case possibility, and it's dangerous and it's
Speaker 1: not right. So if you could say something to a
Speaker 1: young girl out there or an individual who maybe it
Speaker 1: may have been violated, what would you say to them
Speaker 1: about getting resources? Come to California, Come to the west
Speaker 1: coast Washington, Oregon and California has has banned together to
Speaker 1: provide resources. It's still legal here. There's there's plenty of
Speaker 1: resources and we're we're working on that now, trying to
Speaker 1: tap into as many resources as possible because it just
Speaker 1: happened like a blink of an eye, to find out
Speaker 1: how how we can cover a travel costs? Who who's
Speaker 1: covering travel costs, what grants, what donations, what to to
Speaker 1: get here to the West coast or any other place
Speaker 1: that's still um allowing it to to be legal, but
Speaker 1: so pretty for me, it's going to be on the
Speaker 1: forefront with us very much, so very much. So we're
Speaker 1: we're working behind closed doors to put as many plan
Speaker 1: of actions as as possible because I love I love
Speaker 1: my girls, all hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of them,
Speaker 1: and so they like, yeah, you can lose your lights.
Speaker 1: Like these doctors are thinking, I gotta say this life,
Speaker 1: but I gotta I might lose my license, which could
Speaker 1: And it sends to me like they're losing their lives
Speaker 1: because they have a whole family to take care exactly.
Speaker 1: And now I gotta sit down and talk to somebody
Speaker 1: to debate whether or not that this procedure is okay.
Speaker 1: I lose ain't time right, And you might lose somebody
Speaker 1: on the table because you're trying to figure out if
Speaker 1: it's legal or not. It's a justify for for somebody
Speaker 1: else that is not me or not in this body,
Speaker 1: and probably not even in the States, Like come on, now,
Speaker 1: you'll never meet that don't know you and may not
Speaker 1: even care about you. So it's it's it's that that's
Speaker 1: that's never okay. And I really hope that we vote
Speaker 1: and we make some changes. Vote make some changes. Um,
Speaker 1: we have to do better. We have to come together.
Speaker 1: This is I think if if it's not loud enough cry,
Speaker 1: if we don't come together and stick together and unite,
Speaker 1: is not the United States right now. We're divided. This
Speaker 1: is a divided country, and we have to come together
Speaker 1: for humanity. This is humanity, This isn't This affects everybody.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I think this is something we really need
Speaker 1: to work on. It's painful. So when you look at
Speaker 1: the state of kana H, who she was, who she
Speaker 1: is the who was your beacon of inspiration? Who told
Speaker 1: you were possible? How did you and you're gonna make
Speaker 1: it through? I had to. I chose me? I did?
Speaker 1: I chose me? I don't I don't know. I'm forty
Speaker 1: years old this year. I made forty in January, and
Speaker 1: I said, I don't know what this next chapter is
Speaker 1: going to look like, but I know I'm going to
Speaker 1: carry me through. I know I will carry me through. Right.
Speaker 1: I've been with myself all this time. I will not
Speaker 1: abandon me. I will not abandon me. And that's it.
Speaker 1: As long as I have mean, as long as I
Speaker 1: carry me, I will. I've carried me this far, I
Speaker 1: will carry me the rest of the way. And I
Speaker 1: will experience all my experiences in love with excitement for
Speaker 1: for excitement for growth and the evolution of my life,
Speaker 1: and and and and enjoy the process as much as possible.
Speaker 1: Search for joy, fine happiness where I can, right, search
Speaker 1: for joy of fine happiness wherever I wherever I can.
Speaker 1: It's something that out that that joy, because it's something
Speaker 1: that resides right, nothing like That's why it's so important
Speaker 1: that whatever you do, make sure that it is of joy,
Speaker 1: and it's for you, for you, make like you you said, Um,
Speaker 1: I know that my my purpose as I'm here, UM,
Speaker 1: I'm meant to inspire. Right. So, Candle, you have been
Speaker 1: talking about some music. You talked about an album you
Speaker 1: have coming out, these two tracks called Dreaming Change, where
Speaker 1: we get streaming on all streaming platforms, available everywhere. What
Speaker 1: else is next? What other future projects? What's next for Pretty?
Speaker 1: To me? I heard you create an app pocket, we
Speaker 1: support you, give it to us all. So I have, um,
Speaker 1: the Pretty to Me book came out, children's book came
Speaker 1: out right All Narrated by Me is animated, um uh book,
Speaker 1: and it talks about what I always talking about, self
Speaker 1: love and validation, acceptance of self. Right. Um, we have that.
Speaker 1: I have another one that that comes out that talks
Speaker 1: about healthy relationships of a mother and daughter and why
Speaker 1: it's important. It's called Anything for You. Um. That will
Speaker 1: be coming out soon. My album will be coming out
Speaker 1: in July. Right. It's although many. It's a mini empowerment album.
Speaker 1: It's meant to make you feel good. It's meant to
Speaker 1: make you think and understand relationships right, emotionally intelligent relationships,
Speaker 1: self love, first life matters. So you have that. UM.
Speaker 1: I have a retreat coming up. Um. Well, it's not
Speaker 1: coming well next year, so not close, but it's not
Speaker 1: far an upcoming retreat. Um. It is a life and
Speaker 1: mindfulness retreat sponsored by McDonald's and I'm really excited. It'll
Speaker 1: it'll be three days and it'll be rotating workshops and
Speaker 1: we'll talk about finances and health and wellness and mindfulness
Speaker 1: and self love. How do all of those things? Um.
Speaker 1: I will keep you in the loop once I get
Speaker 1: some more details. I will keep you in the loop. Um.
Speaker 1: And then we have upcoming workshops which I'd like to
Speaker 1: give you, um tickets. You got five tickets and you
Speaker 1: can raffle them off. They can call in whatever it
Speaker 1: is they need to do, and one is for July
Speaker 1: twond That's that's the strategy to intimacy because we talked
Speaker 1: about that, right and then July nine is the crayon theory.
Speaker 1: Oh theory. Okay, we're gonna have to think sut it up.
Speaker 1: We're gonna conjure. Yeah, so special people have them. What
Speaker 1: should we have them do in order to get their
Speaker 1: their possible ticket? What would you like for them to do? Well?
Speaker 1: They have to be following me number one, so final
Speaker 1: ed Kiota loves Me. You have another social handle, pretty
Speaker 1: to me Life. Okay, so especially if you have kids.
Speaker 1: If you have kids, you have to follow both of
Speaker 1: those social media accounts. And what do they need to
Speaker 1: tag or to say anything? Um? Yeah, what they can
Speaker 1: do is, um, they can post their favorite life tip
Speaker 1: or their favorite whatever stands out to them, whatever posts
Speaker 1: stands out for them to them the most they can,
Speaker 1: they can share it on their stories, save it and
Speaker 1: tag me. Okay, So we got we got a couple
Speaker 1: of strategies here. You're gonna have to tag or go
Speaker 1: ahead and follow at Kiota loves Me, follow Pretty to Me,
Speaker 1: Life l y F and Vitamin D Down Day if
Speaker 1: you Vitamin D Down Day if you are following already,
Speaker 1: as well as leave a comment stating whatever the life
Speaker 1: tip meant to you, whatever however it resonates. I always
Speaker 1: say on my on my post, take what resonates be
Speaker 1: spit out the bottom. So take what resonates and and
Speaker 1: and share that and tag me. Okay there you haven't.
Speaker 1: You can win either we're going to emotional intelligence or either.
Speaker 1: The Crayon theory is called the strategy to intimacy, the
Speaker 1: strategy to intimacy, and it's and it's spelled this way
Speaker 1: in to me in the number two me INTI me
Speaker 1: starts with self into me see see see right, So up, listen, listen,
Speaker 1: And that is to understand the intimacy with yourself, right,
Speaker 1: and how to have intimacy um in primary love with
Speaker 1: others and understanding the levels of emotional intelligence so so
Speaker 1: that you can have an emotional intelligence and emotionally healthy relationship.
Speaker 1: And then the Crayon theory, it's understanding and knowing who
Speaker 1: you are, how you love, and how to navigate people
Speaker 1: to your heart and date intentionally day, intentionally, move with intentions,
Speaker 1: and if you're already in a relationship, right, I also
Speaker 1: teach how to grow and evolve in your relationship with
Speaker 1: each other. M So it sounds like it's just being
Speaker 1: better together in love and of self moment. So B,
Speaker 1: you need to check it out and you need to
Speaker 1: be there. Yes, hey, yes, I want to thank you
Speaker 1: so much. Thank you for your vulnerability, Thank you for
Speaker 1: for showing up, for showing up because not only just
Speaker 1: for today, but just in life, for not only for
Speaker 1: me and my listeners, but for every young woman, young girl,
Speaker 1: every person that you've encountered. Because because of you and
Speaker 1: you decided to love yourself first, you've extended an opportunity
Speaker 1: for us to love ourselves, for us to show up,
Speaker 1: for us to identify why we live on a purpose
Speaker 1: and for a purpose. So thank you for being that way.
Speaker 1: Thank you for allowing yourself to connect. Thank you for forgiveness,
Speaker 1: thank you for making rule. Thank you for saying I'm
Speaker 1: worth it and I to deserve it mm hmm. Thank
Speaker 1: you for inspiring me. Thank you for receiving it. Catch it.
Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed this conversation, that you understand what
Speaker 1: it means to love yourself first and how self love
Speaker 1: is the foundation that's where your fruits you'll grow. So
Speaker 1: where are you planting your seeds? Is it in fertile soil?
Speaker 1: How are you norsing your soul soil? Are you even
Speaker 1: understanding the seasons that you're in for the fruit that
Speaker 1: you are about to bear? Catch it? Alright, guys, I
Speaker 1: want to make sure that you go ahead and you
Speaker 1: follow Kiota. Uh, make sure you check her out on
Speaker 1: social media at Kiota Loves Me again it at pretty
Speaker 1: to my to me life. And do you have a website? Ideal?
Speaker 1: I truly inspire people to encourage people to sign up
Speaker 1: for the newsletter. Go to www dot Kiana Monroe dot com.
Speaker 1: If you want counseling, if you want a journal, I
Speaker 1: have a life journal, right um. And if you want
Speaker 1: to hear any music, that's where you go. That's it
Speaker 1: all right, We're gonna do that. And also I appreciate
Speaker 1: you for you to be on the show if you
Speaker 1: like to be a guest or perhaps if you think
Speaker 1: you should be interviewed or know somebody that should send
Speaker 1: us an email Vitamin D at Dawn and Day speaks
Speaker 1: dot com. And and and also you don't have my Vitamin
Speaker 1: D advice letters. So if you need advice on your relationships,
Speaker 1: your career, about your purpose, about what have you hit
Speaker 1: me out? Now? I want to be clear with you. You
Speaker 1: You know, when we talk about Vitamin D, it's all
Speaker 1: about shedding the light on the good and the bad.
Speaker 1: Because what do I say? If you want to be
Speaker 1: better and you want to do better, you have to
Speaker 1: be able to see better. So I am going to
Speaker 1: keep it real with chill because I love you and
Speaker 1: I want what's best for you, and that's just be
Speaker 1: keeping it real with you. Okay. Also, if you enjoyed
Speaker 1: this podcast and you feel as though it give me
Speaker 1: something for somebody else, can you tell somebody to tell
Speaker 1: somebody else that Dawn Day got a podcast. It's called
Speaker 1: Vitamin D with Dawn Day and it's available wherever you
Speaker 1: get your favorite podcasts. I appreciate you. Now you you
Speaker 1: gotta tell now take your way too later, But I
Speaker 1: tell you I plan to be here for a long time.
Speaker 1: That's a lot of stuff you gotta get to know.
Speaker 1: So I mean your might as well jump on it
Speaker 1: now right. Also, when you do check out the podcast,
Speaker 1: make sure you rate and leave a comment. Okay, listen,
Speaker 1: tell somebody why this episode was so dope. Put your
Speaker 1: stars on there, put your comments on there. Okay. And
Speaker 1: I also want to tell you that you know we're
Speaker 1: on social media, and so if you want to see
Speaker 1: what's happening in the studio, you want to get some quote,
Speaker 1: but you want to get some inspiration, you can follow
Speaker 1: us everywhere Vitamin d Dawing Day, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok
Speaker 1: wherever you look, that's where we are, okay, And you
Speaker 1: know you can follow me personally if you want to
Speaker 1: get some original Vitamin Day at Dawn Day speaks. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I appreciate you, and I thank you so much for
Speaker 1: joining me on my train. We had a lot to do,
Speaker 1: you and me. Yes, we're long one together. We're gonna
Speaker 1: learn a lot, but we got enough time to do it.
Speaker 1: All right, let me get out of here. You will
Speaker 1: always say I'm in the business, I'm making dreams come
Speaker 1: true and I dare so. I ain't gonna forget about mind.
Speaker 1: So until next time, always remember you are your greatest
Speaker 1: DASSA get your right emindy right here with me, and
Speaker 1: get excited about your lives.