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Speaker 1: This is Kelly Henderson and you are listening to at

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Speaker 1: Home on the Velvet Edge podcast. This week, my guest

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Speaker 1: is one of my favorite people and very dear friends,

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Speaker 1: Amy Brown. Amy is the co host of The Bobby

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Speaker 1: Bones Show and also has her own podcast, Four Things

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Speaker 1: with Amy Brown, where she recently had one of my

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Speaker 1: favorite interviews with the amazing Robin Roberts. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: link that in the description of this podcast so you

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Speaker 1: guys can check it out. Amy and I had a

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Speaker 1: little therapy session today on at Home and talked through

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Speaker 1: the emotional ups and downs that have come with quarantine

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Speaker 1: for both herself and her children. She also told me

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Speaker 1: a trick she's learned to help calm those emotions and

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Speaker 1: how she's growing through the process. Here's our conversation. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so we talked a little yesterday and you told me

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Speaker 1: that you guys have pretty much continued working regularly. It's

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Speaker 1: just from home now, Is this the deal? Yeah, we've

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Speaker 1: all been doing the show. Um, like Bobby's at his house,

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Speaker 1: I'm in my house. There's some people that are going

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Speaker 1: into the studio. Lunchbox still is he has a baby,

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Speaker 1: a new baby and another uh like young ones so

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Speaker 1: he he couldn't do it from there. It's hard. You

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Speaker 1: kind of have to have a quiet space to do

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Speaker 1: a radio show. So um, yeah, I feel I feel

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Speaker 1: like I missed my people. I feel like we've been

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Speaker 1: able to do a really good jobs still trying to

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Speaker 1: be somewhat entertaining and and distract people from some of

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Speaker 1: what's going on if they do have a normal commute, uh,

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Speaker 1: and they're still listening to the show. But it's been

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Speaker 1: hard because I feed off of other people's energy, so

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Speaker 1: I don't mind every once in a while working from home.

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Speaker 1: It's actually kind of fun, but I do with something

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Speaker 1: like that. It helps to be around people, right, Because so,

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Speaker 1: are you guys doing like a video thing? Yeah, Eddie

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Speaker 1: set something up. He's our video guy, and I don't

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Speaker 1: know Eddie and I hard they set up. It's like

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Speaker 1: v mix or something in case somebody's curious. But it's

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Speaker 1: been pretty cool. Eddie can uh tap into the cameras

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Speaker 1: on our computers and then we type in a code didn't.

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Speaker 1: He has access and whenever one of us is talking,

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Speaker 1: he'll put the camera on us from our computer. And

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Speaker 1: it's very very cool, but also really scary because I

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Speaker 1: often wonder if you know, they could just turn on

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Speaker 1: my computer and start watching whatever, just watching you at

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Speaker 1: home in general. Yeah, they hear me talking and they're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: let's go. So I try to log out of that

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Speaker 1: when I'm not using it. Yeah, that's probably sorry. It's

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Speaker 1: kind of like a Truman Show situation, like they're always watching.

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Speaker 1: One of the main things you talked about on the

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Speaker 1: show is your two children that you adopted from Haiti.

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Speaker 1: And I've been thinking about you a lot because I've

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Speaker 1: been at home homeschooling with my boyfriend and his kids.

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Speaker 1: How has that been going for you, guys, Well, you're

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Speaker 1: talking to me now when we've been a weekend two summer.

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Speaker 1: So school decided to let out a week early, which normally,

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Speaker 1: if they had been going normally, that would have annoyed

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Speaker 1: me because of why would I want my kids out

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Speaker 1: of school a week early? Uh, you know, it gives

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Speaker 1: them something to go do, and obviously education is amazing

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Speaker 1: and then they're out of the house and they're making

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Speaker 1: friends and life is great. Um, but with it being

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Speaker 1: distance learning at home now, I think most parents were like, sweet,

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Speaker 1: this is amazing. We had like an out of school party.

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Speaker 1: We were so ready. I think it's just it's something

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Speaker 1: that no parent was prepared for at the start of

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Speaker 1: this year, and I think we all grew a lot

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Speaker 1: and we were challenged. But I'm super proud of my

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Speaker 1: kids and how they handled it. Uh first couple of

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Speaker 1: weeks for super rough, not gonna lie, I did not

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Speaker 1: know how to manage it all. And I speak me

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Speaker 1: and my husband too, and and the kids, like they

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Speaker 1: were having to hold together a lot. I mean in Nashville,

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Speaker 1: we had just had the tornado mark early March, and

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Speaker 1: then a few weeks later, then there's this crazy virus

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Speaker 1: where they can't leave the house and see their friends

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Speaker 1: and go to school. And for my kids that already

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Speaker 1: have trauma in their life and getting him on a

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Speaker 1: routine is really healthy. And then to just kind of

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Speaker 1: have some crazy things happened for them in the month

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Speaker 1: of March, it was a lot, especially for our younger one.

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Speaker 1: So I would say there was more challenges than just

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Speaker 1: the education side for him. Like Stashiro once she figured

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Speaker 1: out and she turned thirteen amongst during all this, like

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Speaker 1: her birthday was in April, but she, you know, once

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Speaker 1: she figured out the technology, and plus she figures it

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Speaker 1: out real quick, like she's amazing at TikTok and all

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Speaker 1: the things. She's oh yeah, Like I'm like, how did

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Speaker 1: you learn to do that? And so once that was

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Speaker 1: probably the most challenging thing with her the first couple

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Speaker 1: of weeks is because I didn't even know how to

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Speaker 1: use zoom. I mean, of course now we're all ex

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Speaker 1: but she picked up on it so quickly that then

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Speaker 1: her classes everything became pretty self sufficient because their teachers

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Speaker 1: were online and super thankful for that. And then and

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Speaker 1: you know, I just have to shout out to teachers

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Speaker 1: during all of this, and not just parents, because you know,

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Speaker 1: in the beginning, we were having some conference calls with

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Speaker 1: the teachers and they wanted to be dialed in, and

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Speaker 1: one of the teachers I was talking to, she's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know. She's like, I'm trying to teach my classes

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Speaker 1: virtually and distance learning. And by the way, I have

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Speaker 1: two kids of my own that are now right, and

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Speaker 1: so there, Yeah, we all have a job. Are a

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Speaker 1: lot of us have a job, and then we're trying

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Speaker 1: to teach. But you imagine like trying to teach kids

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Speaker 1: online and also been teach your own kids, and so

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Speaker 1: it's just a lot. I mean, teachers are super special.

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Speaker 1: I feel like goes to teachers and healthcare workers. I

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Speaker 1: think as parents we realize just how amazing they are. Uh,

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Speaker 1: and now we won't take them for granted ever again

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Speaker 1: because they have a gift. So yeah, there was highs

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Speaker 1: and lows, ups and downs, but I think, uh against

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Speaker 1: so sire, just kind of your own thing. And then

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Speaker 1: really in our house is dealing with some of the

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Speaker 1: emotional stuff that was going on with Stevenson. And then

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Speaker 1: I would see it come out in us. It's easy

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Speaker 1: for me to spot it and a little nine year old,

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Speaker 1: but then I would see things that he was doing.

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Speaker 1: And now he was reacting with his fear because of

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Speaker 1: a natural disaster and then a virus. And I thought

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Speaker 1: I would see kind of how I would be reacting

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Speaker 1: to my husband's or certain situations or with co workers

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Speaker 1: or friends. And I thought, oh my gosh, I'm just

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Speaker 1: like Stevenson. I'm reacting from a place to fear because

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Speaker 1: I'm scared right now too. And it was showing up

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Speaker 1: in other ways. His was showing up in defiance. Um.

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Speaker 1: I realized I had some a lot of rage during this,

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Speaker 1: But my therapist has since told me that's it's literally

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Speaker 1: my fear that comes out, and that's how I'm wanting

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Speaker 1: to That's how it's surfacing. Wow, that's like I want

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Speaker 1: to like throw something, something really hard, not a person

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Speaker 1: like um, just like something. Yeah, I actually think that

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Speaker 1: that's a super relatable emotion. I know I've talked to

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Speaker 1: a couple of our other friends and I didn't even

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Speaker 1: think about it as affecting the kids in that way either,

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Speaker 1: and just observing their behavior. But I know I've been

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Speaker 1: very short tempered and most of it is just stress

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Speaker 1: and like you said, fear, and you don't really realize

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Speaker 1: that it comes out in these angry ways, especially to

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Speaker 1: the people that were closest to Yeah, well, and you're

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Speaker 1: stuck in your house, right, you're together all the time.

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Speaker 1: That's getting it. Like, I'm convinced that I have sent

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Speaker 1: Stevenson uh to therapy and his adult life and that

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Speaker 1: the therapist will, you know, somehow they'll be talking about

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Speaker 1: what the root of some of this is and he

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Speaker 1: will be able to say, without a doubt, well, it

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Speaker 1: was there was some crazy virus and my mom went crazy.

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Speaker 1: So like I I just know that that is gonna

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Speaker 1: happen but I think that a lot of us are

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Speaker 1: going to walk away from this year with some trauma.

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Speaker 1: But as you and I both know, if you put

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Speaker 1: in the work, uh, when we're faced with um, crazy

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Speaker 1: challenges such as this, that we can come out on

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Speaker 1: the other side, UM, stronger for it and stronger. But

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Speaker 1: you have to put in the work, and you actually

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Speaker 1: have to believe that and look for it. You can't

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Speaker 1: just it can actually the opposite if you want it

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Speaker 1: to be, and you can come out a hot mess,

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Speaker 1: which you know sometimes you will because yeah, me too,

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Speaker 1: I'm not. Oh yeah for sure. But it's really when

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Speaker 1: we're really really on the other side of it, what

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Speaker 1: what do we want to take away from um, what

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Speaker 1: we've all had to experience, which is totally unprecedented. None

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Speaker 1: of us have been here before. We don't even there's

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Speaker 1: no handbook, uh, but I will say a good book

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Speaker 1: that's come in handy for us is uh. That was

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Speaker 1: helpful for uh some of the stuff we were going

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Speaker 1: through with Stevenson. But then even also again I would

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Speaker 1: see some of myself in it. Is UM. It's a

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Speaker 1: great behavior. Of course, now that I'm wanting to tell

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Speaker 1: you about, I can't think of it, but inside and

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Speaker 1: I'll look it up. I'm telling you inside she gives

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Speaker 1: gives us great breathing exercise and it's called the four

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Speaker 1: seven eight. And you I'm sure a lot of people

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Speaker 1: have breathing exercise various things. Like our friend Mary, she

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Speaker 1: has one. She has some like jaw issues, and her

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Speaker 1: chiropractors tells her she needs to breathe every day to

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Speaker 1: relax those muscles. So it really is. And I bring

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Speaker 1: that up to show that there really is relaxing that happens.

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Speaker 1: Like there's things that are tense that you don't realize

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Speaker 1: there tense. So obviously for someone with t MJ your

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Speaker 1: jaw issues, if they're told to breathe and that will

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Speaker 1: help relax things, then you know something's happening with the breathing,

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Speaker 1: Like we're you're able to, yes, loosen up some of

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Speaker 1: that stuff, but you're also able to calm so many

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Speaker 1: other things inside that are you know, have been manifesting.

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Speaker 1: And you breathe in for four, you hold, and then

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Speaker 1: you hold for seven, and then you breathe out for eight.

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Speaker 1: Why those numbers does the book tell you explain all

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Speaker 1: of that? Well, the book is called The Great Behavior

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Speaker 1: breakdown to make sure I have put it right. But

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Speaker 1: and the gist of the book is that Identist identifies

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Speaker 1: excuse me, of the most problematic and serious and challenge

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Speaker 1: challenging behaviors that parents face. It helps you break them

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Speaker 1: down and provide step by step guidance and insight for

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Speaker 1: transforming your family family conflict almost immediately. And I will

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Speaker 1: say some of the tools that we were given in

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Speaker 1: this book. And I've had this book for again adopting

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Speaker 1: my kids and knowing the trauma that they've been in.

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Speaker 1: And they've only been in America a couple of years,

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Speaker 1: so there's a lot going on because they were raised

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Speaker 1: in an orphanage before that, and when you come from

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Speaker 1: an institutionalized situation and then into a loving home, it's

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Speaker 1: not all roses like things are different, things are going

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Speaker 1: to come out like there's just like with a lot

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Speaker 1: of us um for all of us, everybody's things just

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Speaker 1: to look a little bit differently. But I think someone

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Speaker 1: had recommended this book for me and I ordered it

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Speaker 1: probably a year and a half ago, but didn't. And

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Speaker 1: that's one thing where I know I can walk away

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Speaker 1: from coronavirus. The spring of being thankful that we went

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Speaker 1: through some of the stuff. We went there because it

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Speaker 1: allowed me to finally open up that book and really

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Speaker 1: get serious with it, and it has helped us squash

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Speaker 1: some of the conflicts immediately and stuff that I was

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Speaker 1: getting so frustrated with UM in regards to him again,

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Speaker 1: where I was like, why is he doing this? And

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Speaker 1: why is he not understanding? And why are we having

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Speaker 1: to deal with this? And why is everything always so hard?

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Speaker 1: And once I realized like, oh my gosh, he's scared

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Speaker 1: and this is fear, I was able to have the

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Speaker 1: proper grace and compassion for him to pause and do

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Speaker 1: whatever I needed to do to help him out of it.

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Speaker 1: And it would maybe it's you know it, It would

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Speaker 1: maybe mean a thirty minute hour commitment to sitting down

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Speaker 1: and slowly working through that one little thing that triggered

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Speaker 1: him to go completely do a one e D on

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Speaker 1: me and change his attitude UM to have to sit

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Speaker 1: instead of just being like well whatever and walking away

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Speaker 1: like I can handle this. Whatever is happening right now,

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Speaker 1: I can't believe you're acting this way, and you know,

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Speaker 1: fix it or you're in trouble, or I'm going to

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Speaker 1: take away your X y Z um, because I can't

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Speaker 1: believe you're defying me like this, well instead of you know,

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Speaker 1: taking something away, which is a lot faster, but just

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Speaker 1: definitely wasn't more efficient, you know, because I think a

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Speaker 1: lot of times when you we're busy, we have a

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Speaker 1: lot going on, especially we're still working and trying to

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Speaker 1: get through today, being like okay, well that's it, I'm

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Speaker 1: taking away your tablet. Well okay. Once he finally decided

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Speaker 1: to be wanted his tablet back, and maybe he's gonna

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Speaker 1: like start behaving, but then it was like, oh, okay, pause,

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Speaker 1: I have to stop everything I'm doing and go sit

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Speaker 1: down with you for however long it takes to let

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Speaker 1: you know that I am here for you and it

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Speaker 1: is safe, and I'm not going anywhere, and I love you,

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Speaker 1: and what are you feel Let's talk through some feelings

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Speaker 1: right now. I just he just needs to know that,

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Speaker 1: like we're here and everything, he's safe. All this craziness

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Speaker 1: is happening around me, he's safe. And so then it

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Speaker 1: helps me bee like, oh, sometimes I need that for myself,

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Speaker 1: even if it's me sitting with myself of like I

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Speaker 1: need to step away from everything. Probably I don't know

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Speaker 1: how long it's gonna take a thirty minutes an hour,

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Speaker 1: and I might just need to be with myself and

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Speaker 1: remind myself that I am safe and I am loved

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Speaker 1: and everything's going to be okay, and it's okay for

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Speaker 1: me to express right now whatever it is I'm feeling.

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Speaker 1: I need to say it and be okay with it,

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Speaker 1: but then remind myself that I am safe. So it's so,

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Speaker 1: I know a lot of people looking right now and

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Speaker 1: they're like, well, wait, I don't really a kid, so

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Speaker 1: we're a kid with trauma. I don't know how to

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Speaker 1: supplies me. But what I was, what I learned was

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Speaker 1: what I'm using for him has in turn worked for me.

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Speaker 1: And the breathing has been so great so a lot

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Speaker 1: of times. Even my husband, now, we got into an

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Speaker 1: argument the other day and he looked at me and

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Speaker 1: he said, do we need to do for seven eight

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Speaker 1: real quick? And I thought, oh, okay, yeah, I think

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Speaker 1: we do. And literally, as husband and wife, we sat

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Speaker 1: there and we did four seven eight five times. You know,

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Speaker 1: we did the breathing. We did each we did five rounds,

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Speaker 1: and then I swear to you, we were just in

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Speaker 1: a different space and we were able to communicate more

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Speaker 1: effectively and respectfully, then if we had just continued down

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Speaker 1: that road, grown up, and then ended up super annoyed

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Speaker 1: and frustrated with each other and probably again more scared,

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Speaker 1: adding more fear um back into the picture. And so

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Speaker 1: I don't even remember, Kelly, honestly, what you originally asked

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Speaker 1: me that actually, you know, this is like a therapy session.

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Speaker 1: I love it. We always do this. But what I

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Speaker 1: was actually thinking while you were talking was I've wondered

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Speaker 1: what are we going to get out of this period

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Speaker 1: of time, because it's something, like you said, that we've

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Speaker 1: never been through before, nobody knows how to do. And

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Speaker 1: I've wondered what we're going to take from it and

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Speaker 1: actually integrate into our life once things go back to normal.

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Speaker 1: And the stuff that you're talking about is stuff that

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Speaker 1: I hope that we do take with us because I

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Speaker 1: think when we get so busy in our lives so

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Speaker 1: often it is just easier to medicate your fears away,

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Speaker 1: your anger away, whatever it is, not to really take

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Speaker 1: the time like you're saying and sit with each other

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Speaker 1: in an intimate moment and say, hey, like, what do

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Speaker 1: you need? How can I help you? And really getting

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Speaker 1: to the root of those things, which I think is

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Speaker 1: such a person. I mean, it's such an important thing

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Speaker 1: for all humans to varience. Oh yeah, for sure. Um

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Speaker 1: And sometimes it takes something like this or insert any

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Speaker 1: other crazy life event for pause and realize it. But

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Speaker 1: what's been the beauty of this? Well, sometimes it's been

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Speaker 1: a blessing and a curse. Is we've been stuck at

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Speaker 1: our homes with our thoughts, with our feelings, with our families,

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Speaker 1: um or maybe not some people. And I feel for that,

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Speaker 1: Like sometimes when I've been frustrated with just people around

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Speaker 1: or like the same people and not really being able

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Speaker 1: to go somewhere an escape or frustrated with that, I

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Speaker 1: then remind myself just so I have perspective that some

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Speaker 1: people are have been quarantined alan and they would give

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Speaker 1: anything to be around and they maybe I don't know,

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Speaker 1: if it's like if you're listening right now and you

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Speaker 1: know anything about the Instagram, they maybe a seven and

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Speaker 1: they thrive off of interaction and fun and activities and

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Speaker 1: peace ful and all the things. And they could be

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Speaker 1: a seven stuck at home and and and you know,

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Speaker 1: someone that is a little more introverted might be like

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Speaker 1: at home thinking this is the best gift. How could

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Speaker 1: people not enjoy this? Like I'm loving this, like I

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Speaker 1: need I'm recharging right now. I don't have to be

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Speaker 1: around anybody. That's amazing, But everybody's personalities are so different.

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Speaker 1: So I also just want to be respectful of that

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Speaker 1: and that while I I'm saying I want to use

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Speaker 1: this time to connect with the people that I'm with,

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Speaker 1: but also it was frustrated with them, But I would

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Speaker 1: use that perspective like, oh wait, some people literally can't

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Speaker 1: even be around anybody else right now and their personality

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Speaker 1: needs that. I need to be thankful for this, but

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Speaker 1: also recognize that I do need my space because I'm

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Speaker 1: I'm someone that needs time alone to recover sure, and

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Speaker 1: I think it's one of the people me too. And

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Speaker 1: I think it's one of those situations where whatever your

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Speaker 1: situation is, there's pluses and minusist to both. So it's

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Speaker 1: kind of more about actually stopping and looking at what

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00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,880
Speaker 1: you need and like what you were saying, like you're

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00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:10,320
Speaker 1: learning a lot from your son and it's actually helping

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Speaker 1: you with what you need yourself. And so I think

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Speaker 1: we can all do that regardless of our situations. What

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Speaker 1: are some of the things you guys do for fun. Well,

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00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:27,360
Speaker 1: good question, Um, what have we been doing? Like our

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00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:32,080
Speaker 1: been has an old land roper and he just got

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00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:34,320
Speaker 1: that back up and running, and so we've been and

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00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:36,199
Speaker 1: we were thinking, like would we do this if we

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Speaker 1: weren't in coronavirus and we can maybe go to a restaurant,

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00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,199
Speaker 1: but like we've gotten in that a few times and

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Speaker 1: taking food and a blanket and gone to the park

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00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:49,160
Speaker 1: that down and right, which again that's something you can

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Speaker 1: do any time of the year, virus or not. We

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Speaker 1: were not, I don't know that that would have been

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Speaker 1: our go to and it was so perfect or we've

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Speaker 1: done it a couple of times. And even with the

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00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:04,359
Speaker 1: kids just um getting outside more with them, uh, and

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00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:08,760
Speaker 1: now that the weather is getting better, um, doing some

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00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:12,000
Speaker 1: of that. But honestly, their school day was taking up

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Speaker 1: so much time. Again we've all experienced the first day

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Speaker 1: of summer because again English is their second language. So

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Speaker 1: some of the kids would get done around maybe noon

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Speaker 1: or one o'clock and Stashiara was still going until four

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00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:28,480
Speaker 1: trying to get everything done because just going at a

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Speaker 1: slower pace. Um. And then my husband and I started

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Speaker 1: through this another thing I'm thankful for because I don't

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Speaker 1: think I ever would have gone back to it is

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00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:43,159
Speaker 1: we had jump ship on Helmland. I know, I know,

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00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,960
Speaker 1: and I don't even know why we just quit watching

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00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:51,240
Speaker 1: it after season five, But thank you for Quarantine because

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00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,760
Speaker 1: I thought what happened to Homeland, like we should go

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Speaker 1: give that a try. And we watched uh season six

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Speaker 1: and it took a minute to get back into it,

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Speaker 1: but about halfway through we were totally sold back in.

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Speaker 1: Couldn't wait for season seven. Then we got to watch

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Speaker 1: the final season and now I'm so sad over but

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Speaker 1: I just wanted to run remind people if they did

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Speaker 1: what I did and forgot about Homeland, you need to

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Speaker 1: get back in and commit and go all the way

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Speaker 1: because you won't regret it. Because that is something we

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Speaker 1: definitely did for fun and I loved it me too.

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Speaker 1: We just finished two. Did you like the ending? Because

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Speaker 1: I loved it. I'm gonna say anything else other than that,

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00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:36,920
Speaker 1: but yeah, it's worth it. I feel like it's because

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00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,360
Speaker 1: they didn't. They had too much space in between seasons

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00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:41,480
Speaker 1: sometimes that you forget about it and you'd start a

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Speaker 1: new show, and then who has time to really have

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00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:48,119
Speaker 1: more than one show? Right? Now totally like I think, oh, yeah,

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00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:51,400
Speaker 1: it just I don't know. I'm like, how did we now?

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00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 1: I want to tell everybody from the rooftops. So I

386
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:59,400
Speaker 1: know that that's like not necessarily like fun fun, But

387
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:02,280
Speaker 1: if I love a good binge watch, I actually think

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00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,720
Speaker 1: it's great, and especially if you're doing it with like

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00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:08,040
Speaker 1: your significant other, it's such a good activity to do together. Yeah,

390
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,680
Speaker 1: we we would do an episode tonight because we didn't

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00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,159
Speaker 1: want it to go too fast. We were ginging binging

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00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:15,400
Speaker 1: like on the all weekend. But we would do one

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00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:19,520
Speaker 1: episode a night and it would be are thaying, like

394
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 1: we couldn't wait to put the kids to bed, and

395
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:22,800
Speaker 1: we would go crawl in bed and we would put

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00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:25,200
Speaker 1: on our our glasses that block the blue lights. We

397
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:27,840
Speaker 1: looked real hot and sexty, and then we'd like watch

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00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:30,560
Speaker 1: Homeland and fall asleep and it was amazing perfect. That

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00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,680
Speaker 1: sounds like the perfect night. Well, the last thing I

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00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:34,680
Speaker 1: want to hear about is your dad, because I think

401
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,679
Speaker 1: this is probably something that a lot of people can

402
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,560
Speaker 1: relate to you. But he's in a nursing home, right,

403
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:41,719
Speaker 1: and so you haven't been able to see him at all. Yeah,

404
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,639
Speaker 1: he is technically he would want me to tell you

405
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 1: it's an assistance living. Okay, sorry, that's not your fault.

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00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:53,680
Speaker 1: We don't even We kind of just for his, uh

407
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:57,080
Speaker 1: the psychology of it in his brain. We just were like, oh, yeah,

408
00:22:57,080 --> 00:23:02,719
Speaker 1: you're a partner. It's a one assisted living and uh,

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00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:06,760
Speaker 1: he it's been really hard. Uh. We went and visited

410
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 1: him today and it's great, but to be able to

411
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:12,920
Speaker 1: see him, but we're seeing him through the glass and

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00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:14,639
Speaker 1: we have to make an appointment for him to go

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00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:16,440
Speaker 1: down to the glass because he lives on the third

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00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:20,760
Speaker 1: floor and otherwise we couldn't see him. And so it's

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00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:22,520
Speaker 1: about once a week that we get more of an

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00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 1: intimate time. I mean, I'll go by there during the

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00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:27,760
Speaker 1: week and drop stuff off and he kind of will

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00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:30,960
Speaker 1: just wave at me, and it's weird. And there was

419
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,879
Speaker 1: a point in this that he ripped his feeding He

420
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:35,760
Speaker 1: has a feeding tube and he ripped it out in

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00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 1: his sleep, which has happened once before since he moved

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00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:42,480
Speaker 1: to Nashville. But I was able to go to the

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00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 1: hospital right away and like help him, and you it

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00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 1: has to be handled at the hospital. You can't handle

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00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:51,440
Speaker 1: it anywhere else. And so then I was terrified. He

426
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 1: was like three in the morning, we get a phone call.

427
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:56,240
Speaker 1: Your dad's going in an ambulance, going the hospital, and

428
00:23:56,400 --> 00:24:00,159
Speaker 1: coronavirus is like at the height of it. And there

429
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:01,879
Speaker 1: was so much where I thought, Oh, my gosh, if

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00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:03,920
Speaker 1: he's gonna go to the hospital, And it was a

431
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,200
Speaker 1: narrative I had created my head, which I don't advise

432
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,840
Speaker 1: going negatives through narratives, but in my mind, I thought, oh, great,

433
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 1: he just went to the hospital. Now he's going to

434
00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:14,120
Speaker 1: contract forronavirus and that and I know that's like really

435
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:16,399
Speaker 1: dramatic and extreme, but that's what I was doing to

436
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 1: myself and obviously not healthy, so I would I reeled

437
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:23,280
Speaker 1: that in. But it was once he returned from the hospital,

438
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:26,639
Speaker 1: they quarantined him to his room. He couldn't even go

439
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:31,639
Speaker 1: in the hallway for fourteen days, and so I didn't

440
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,920
Speaker 1: see him for fourteen days. I mean, we have on

441
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:37,159
Speaker 1: video which I will recommend if anybody has this situation,

442
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:43,800
Speaker 1: the Amazon Echo show. The video thing is so great. Um,

443
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:47,640
Speaker 1: why is that or something? Oh? When I face time

444
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,000
Speaker 1: with my dad, first of all, he just whole. I can't.

445
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:52,040
Speaker 1: He holds the phone and all I see is the feeling.

446
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:57,919
Speaker 1: And then and also it's then you can't be on

447
00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 1: your phone doing anything else because you're on FaceTime. I

448
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 1: guess you could on your computer, but again, if your

449
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:07,080
Speaker 1: other person doesn't really know technology, like I think most

450
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:11,679
Speaker 1: of my friends, their parents like FaceTime see them and you,

451
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 1: it's a struggle. So what I like about this is

452
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,639
Speaker 1: it's plugs in. It sits on the counter and he

453
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:19,840
Speaker 1: can't touch it. Like if as long as he sits

454
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,639
Speaker 1: a chair or stands right in front of it, you

455
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,399
Speaker 1: can see his whole body. It's just more of a

456
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:28,280
Speaker 1: more of a connection. And then you can have yours

457
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:30,920
Speaker 1: on and you can just keep it on and he's

458
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 1: right there in your living room with you. And if

459
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:35,280
Speaker 1: you need to make a phone call or you need

460
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 1: to be texting or doing something, he can still feel

461
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:42,240
Speaker 1: in the room because then he can see the whole

462
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:46,119
Speaker 1: room and people walking by and talking and being like hey, couple. Yeah,

463
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:48,880
Speaker 1: So it's like he's there more than just actually doing

464
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:52,760
Speaker 1: a phone call. Yes, And that's what when I was

465
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,480
Speaker 1: researching what to get because once I didn't get this

466
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:58,200
Speaker 1: until coronavirus hit and I realized that we're not gonna

467
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:01,200
Speaker 1: be able to see him. So I did my research

468
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:04,120
Speaker 1: and I even told people, and that's the one they recommended.

469
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 1: So that's what I went with. And I would say,

470
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 1: I'm happy I sent my sister one. Um, my husband's

471
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:12,480
Speaker 1: parents and his sister got one. Like now we all

472
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 1: have them and it just sits in the kitchen and

473
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 1: you just say, you know, I don't want to say

474
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 1: it because it might set people's off, but you just

475
00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:22,040
Speaker 1: tell her to call himmever and then boom they pop

476
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,480
Speaker 1: up on the video and it's like, um, like you

477
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,000
Speaker 1: can fit like if you have your family in the

478
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,040
Speaker 1: living room. I think that's another great thing about it.

479
00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 1: Like Ben and the kids and me, we can fit

480
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:34,640
Speaker 1: all in the screen and talk to my dad. Were FaceTime,

481
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 1: you kind of have to be like, oh, hey, here's

482
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:41,159
Speaker 1: so and so and here's right and so. That I

483
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,720
Speaker 1: think is another plus. But anyway, my point is he

484
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:48,040
Speaker 1: that is when when we're back to my dad. Not

485
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 1: my point. I don't really know if I had at

486
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 1: that point, but I just back to the fear that

487
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 1: I was speaking to in the beginning. Like I realized

488
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 1: when I was so worried about my dad was when

489
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 1: I was a lot of stuff was really coming out,

490
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 1: and it was because I was so scared for him,

491
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:09,440
Speaker 1: and and we still don't know, like if anyone else

492
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 1: is in a situation like this, we don't know when

493
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 1: is the next time we're gonna be able to hug

494
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:16,440
Speaker 1: them or touch them, or they're going to be able

495
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 1: to leave and come over to our houses and be

496
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:24,919
Speaker 1: with us. It's Um, it's just a weird time. And

497
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:27,119
Speaker 1: I my my thoughts are with anybody that's in a

498
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:29,240
Speaker 1: situation like that, because I know it's not easy, because

499
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 1: I just worry about him and his well being. And

500
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,359
Speaker 1: I think of all the people that live at his

501
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:37,560
Speaker 1: place because some of them they I don't know if

502
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:41,160
Speaker 1: they have family that can maybe they're quarantined in another

503
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,520
Speaker 1: state or another city and they can't come and give

504
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:47,480
Speaker 1: them thirty minutes at the window visit time. And I'm like,

505
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:50,520
Speaker 1: who are they talking to? Because they eliminated all meal

506
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:54,880
Speaker 1: time there. Everybody's basically confined to their room. Um, which

507
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,400
Speaker 1: is different than when my dad was like literally quarantined

508
00:27:57,440 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 1: to his room after the hospital. But praise Jesus, he

509
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 1: went fourteen days had no symptoms, So Um, that narrative

510
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:06,679
Speaker 1: that I made in my brain was totally false. He

511
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:10,120
Speaker 1: went to the hospital, did not contract coronavirus and he's

512
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 1: alive and well, so um yeah, it's just you know,

513
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:17,480
Speaker 1: think of ways. That's why I think when I hear

514
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:20,240
Speaker 1: of like feel good stories in the news of like

515
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 1: little kids and people and I even just kids, some

516
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:26,719
Speaker 1: adults that are doing care packages for assisted living places

517
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 1: or nursing homes, um with like big puzzles and adult

518
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:33,960
Speaker 1: coloring books, and or just sending cards like one of

519
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 1: Stashira's little friends, Mackenzie Um. Once this first started, she

520
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 1: knew where my dad lived and decided she wanted to

521
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 1: write a bunch of cards and drop them off there.

522
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 1: So her mom texted me for the address and she

523
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:49,480
Speaker 1: did just that, and my dad and some of the

524
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,960
Speaker 1: people have written her back. Isn't I mean, isn't that

525
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 1: the sweetest? And that, like they people, we are meant

526
00:28:56,960 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 1: to connect as people, and some of some people during

527
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 1: all of this again back to some people that are alone.

528
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 1: Some people don't have anybody to connect with, and we

529
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:09,160
Speaker 1: need to make sure that we you know, if we

530
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 1: can do something about that that we try. I love that.

531
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:16,040
Speaker 1: I think that's a super important thing that I hope

532
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 1: we take away too, is kind of getting out of

533
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:20,960
Speaker 1: ourselves for a second and thinking, you know this, I

534
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:22,800
Speaker 1: have this going on. What can I give back to

535
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:25,840
Speaker 1: other people because some people don't, like you said, have

536
00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:28,520
Speaker 1: anyone to connect with. I do believe the same that

537
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 1: as humans we are made to connect. So I love

538
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 1: the idea of just anything you can do, especially for

539
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 1: the elderly and this time, because I think they're pretty isolated. Yeah,

540
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:43,080
Speaker 1: and it may be it may be somebody else in

541
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:47,280
Speaker 1: your life, sure, whoever it is right now, whoever it is,

542
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 1: but yeah, that is definitely They're kind of at the

543
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,360
Speaker 1: top of the list right now with what they're going through.

544
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:56,720
Speaker 1: Anyone that's got a compromise immune system, they could be younger,

545
00:29:56,760 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 1: but they're just allowed to socialize, right whatsoever. Yeah, Yeah, Well,

546
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:06,040
Speaker 1: I am so grateful for you for being here and

547
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:08,479
Speaker 1: sharing these tips with everybody because I think I think

548
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:10,000
Speaker 1: a lot of these things are things that people can

549
00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 1: relate to. So um, hopefully you listeners got some things

550
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:16,920
Speaker 1: out of this. And I can't wait until we can

551
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 1: actually like see each other. I know, and I hug you, like,

552
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 1: what is that going to be? Like? I don't even

553
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:25,800
Speaker 1: remember what hugs feel like. This is gonna be so fun,

554
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,160
Speaker 1: I know. I feel like for a while. People will

555
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 1: start to get together, but it's going to be like, hey,

556
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:36,920
Speaker 1: you want to come over, but everything and make sure

557
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:41,080
Speaker 1: you six feet away from me at all times. We

558
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:46,000
Speaker 1: only give elbows if we do any sort of touching. Yeah, whatever, whatever,

559
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 1: There's gonna be a new normal for a little bit.

560
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,280
Speaker 1: And I think so really one day we'll be back

561
00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 1: to normal. And yeah, I just I you know, I

562
00:30:57,360 --> 00:31:00,800
Speaker 1: love you and I love you. Just appreciate your friendship

563
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:04,680
Speaker 1: so much, and uh just would encourage others to make

564
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:06,560
Speaker 1: sure that people that are important to them in their

565
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:11,240
Speaker 1: lives that they yeah, tell them because I think two

566
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:13,600
Speaker 1: we've learned through all of this, life is so crazy,

567
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:17,640
Speaker 1: and especially here in Nashville again, going from the tornado

568
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 1: to the virus, it was like whoa, what the heck?

569
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:22,840
Speaker 1: And I know that there's been other tragedies around the

570
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 1: country too. I'm just we both live here since it

571
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:28,320
Speaker 1: was something that I can we can connect to, but

572
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:32,360
Speaker 1: just some predictable to make sure people know, um I

573
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:37,120
Speaker 1: feel and then um yeah breathe for seven four seven eight.

574
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:39,480
Speaker 1: I mean, definitely, all of this has definitely put into

575
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:42,320
Speaker 1: perspective all of the things that are actually very important

576
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:45,840
Speaker 1: to me. So um my friendships are definitely top of

577
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 1: the list. I'm gonna start that breathing exercise. I'm sending

578
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:51,640
Speaker 1: it to I'm gonna give it to my boyfriend, maybe

579
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:55,600
Speaker 1: his kids. We'll do it once you tell him about it.

580
00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 1: Then if y'all are ever in a heated exchange or

581
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:00,680
Speaker 1: of sorts, or maybe even but that you're on the

582
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 1: verge of something, you can be like, hey, let's take

583
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:12,120
Speaker 1: a four seven. All right, Well, thank you for being here.

584
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 1: You guys can check out Amy every morning on the

585
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:17,760
Speaker 1: Bobby Bones Show. All social media's are at radio Amy, right,

586
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 1: y okay, Well thank you, Amy. Let me clarify, are

587
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 1: you on TikTok? Well? Stuf is okay? But she's undermine.

588
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 1: But I have done. I want to start doing it

589
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 1: more because she really wants me to do some with her,

590
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:36,400
Speaker 1: and I think it's a great way for moms and

591
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:39,920
Speaker 1: daughters to bond, for sure. I see a lot of

592
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:43,040
Speaker 1: stars doing that with their kids, Like Jessica Alba has

593
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:45,080
Speaker 1: a really good one. Don't if you follow her, She's

594
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 1: really cute. You don't even have to post them. It's

595
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:52,240
Speaker 1: just fun. I would say we've done a couple that

596
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 1: we don't even post, because it's like, that's not really

597
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 1: the point. The point is it's something she loves to

598
00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:00,520
Speaker 1: do and we're learning something together her and then we

599
00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 1: do it and she smiles so big when we get

600
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 1: it right. Yeah. And so anyway, Radio Amy seven think

601
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:13,840
Speaker 1: there's six other Radio Amies on TikTok know what? When

602
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:18,320
Speaker 1: they suggested for me, honestly, i'm I'm I don't even know.

603
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 1: I think that. I thought they gave me Radio Amy

604
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:23,080
Speaker 1: and I was telling people that's what my TikTok was,

605
00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:25,080
Speaker 1: and then they were like, no, there's just seven. At

606
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:28,320
Speaker 1: the end of that, I was like, oh, oh, okay,

607
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:32,560
Speaker 1: well on everything else, it's at Radio Amy on TikTok

608
00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:36,080
Speaker 1: Radio Amy seven. I can't forget that now though actually

609
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,400
Speaker 1: I know, but I don't now. I wasted like two

610
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:42,400
Speaker 1: minutes talking about TikTok and I don't even really use it.

611
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:46,000
Speaker 1: So well, now you don't have to. Here's your inspiration, okay,

612
00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 1: uh Well, I love you. I can't wait to see you.

613
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 1: Thank you for being here, and thank you guys for listening. Bye.

614
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:58,520
Speaker 1: Thank Kelly By