WEBVTT - Ep. 20 What's in a (Last) Name? 0:00:01.840 --> 0:00:04.920 Wine Down with Janna Kramer and I Heart Radio Plae. 0:00:06.840 --> 0:00:09.680 We got some harmonies on that one. This is going 0:00:09.720 --> 0:00:12.440 to be a really fun one. I'm excited because there's 0:00:12.520 --> 0:00:14.920 gonna be some really juicy stories we're going to tell 0:00:15.440 --> 0:00:18.800 in this show. So I've got one of my dearest 0:00:19.440 --> 0:00:24.599 besties here, Julie Solomon. Give it up for Julie, and 0:00:24.640 --> 0:00:31.880 then of course, um, Jen and Michael Hello, and just 0:00:32.440 --> 0:00:35.320 one little Jenna takes it for granted. Jen, take you 0:00:35.360 --> 0:00:39.240 guys for granted at all? At all? Apause, I'm sorry 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:42.519 because you guys are just yeah, you're the rags, and 0:00:42.600 --> 0:00:46.160 Julie is like, she's my guest, you know, our guest, 0:00:45.560 --> 0:00:48.680 and you're the guest of honor. So, um, do you 0:00:48.680 --> 0:00:50.720 want to because I feel like we walked into like 0:00:50.920 --> 0:00:54.160 something and you wanted to share it on air. I 0:00:54.240 --> 0:00:56.160 have no idea what you want to share, but do 0:00:56.200 --> 0:00:59.959 you want to talk about it? Yeah? Right now, right now? 0:01:00.360 --> 0:01:02.240 I mean what I said to you, as I said, 0:01:02.240 --> 0:01:04.200 are you sure you want to share it on air? Yeah? 0:01:04.360 --> 0:01:06.959 I'm you know, because it has to do with divorce, 0:01:07.160 --> 0:01:08.960 it does. It has to do with divorce. I had 0:01:09.000 --> 0:01:14.479 my last mediation appoint appointment. I guess you'd call it 0:01:15.440 --> 0:01:18.960 with him or with him and the mediator. You didn't 0:01:19.000 --> 0:01:21.560 go through a lawyer. You you guys wanted to sit 0:01:21.600 --> 0:01:24.880 down media use the mediator, which I think was a 0:01:24.920 --> 0:01:28.840 great experience. Why why that versus lawyer lawyer? Because the 0:01:28.880 --> 0:01:32.920 clause didn't come out. It's all about communicating and having 0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:37.160 somebody there to mediate. You know, it will have lawyers 0:01:37.200 --> 0:01:39.160 if that happens to Michael, I don't want to talk 0:01:39.200 --> 0:01:45.039 to you once again, my pessimistic wife. Prepare for the worst. 0:01:45.360 --> 0:01:48.640 It listened mediation the way every you know, when it 0:01:48.720 --> 0:01:52.160 was mediation day the night before, I'd be like, oh god, 0:01:52.280 --> 0:01:56.840 I have to go in there. And you know, if 0:01:56.880 --> 0:01:59.240 you don't want to look back to the mediator, right, 0:01:59.320 --> 0:02:00.800 you kind of want to be No, No, It's okay, 0:02:00.840 --> 0:02:04.240 you could have the lake house, right, It's like here 0:02:04.280 --> 0:02:09.000 you go. What else can I give you? Anyways, So 0:02:09.760 --> 0:02:13.880 we are wrapping it up and we're actually signing the deals. 0:02:14.080 --> 0:02:16.760 I'm calling them deals, So like, this is what you get, 0:02:16.760 --> 0:02:17.840 this is what you get, This is all the time 0:02:17.880 --> 0:02:20.440 I get with Rocco. These are the days. Got a 0:02:20.440 --> 0:02:23.560 six year old boy named Rocco too. So, and what 0:02:23.600 --> 0:02:27.200 did you do for holidays. Sorry, we switch. Easter is 0:02:27.320 --> 0:02:30.920 very important to him and his family, so you know 0:02:31.000 --> 0:02:35.320 that's something that he gets. Um, I always get Halloween. Um, 0:02:37.280 --> 0:02:42.640 that's written in and every other holiday just give you 0:02:42.720 --> 0:02:48.120 got it. And then we switch back and forth for 0:02:48.560 --> 0:02:52.359 you know, the holidays, Christmas and every other year. Or 0:02:53.200 --> 0:02:57.120 We've been really flexible with each other when it comes 0:02:57.160 --> 0:03:01.560 to holidays anyways. You know, if he really wants them 0:03:01.600 --> 0:03:05.079 for Thanksgiving because his family has something going on, I'm 0:03:05.120 --> 0:03:08.919 okay with that. You know, we we communicate really well 0:03:08.960 --> 0:03:11.400 when it comes to Rocko and then we have no 0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:15.400 communication other than that, which is ven. That's good. So 0:03:15.840 --> 0:03:18.120 we're wrapping up and he says, oh, I have one 0:03:18.120 --> 0:03:21.839 more thing that I would like to put into the paperwork. 0:03:22.720 --> 0:03:29.800 And I'm like, is the mediation one session? About five 0:03:30.800 --> 0:03:32.880 and then you have like a financial mediation to like, 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:34.840 that's all part of it, that's all part of it. 0:03:35.360 --> 0:03:38.400 So I'm like, what is he? What's he? What's he 0:03:38.400 --> 0:03:40.800 going to ask for? Everything has been done, like the 0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:46.080 house has done, like everything go. So I would like 0:03:46.480 --> 0:03:49.000 to put it in the paperwork that she has to 0:03:49.040 --> 0:03:53.840 switch her name back. What I want her? I want 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:56.800 my name back? Oh, so you have to go back 0:03:56.840 --> 0:04:00.400 to your maiden name, right, But you can't do that. 0:04:00.520 --> 0:04:03.880 So I started laughing because it just made me. I 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:07.000 was like, well that's interesting. I was like, am I 0:04:07.960 --> 0:04:10.640 this is real? I'm not dreaming right, This isn't like 0:04:11.640 --> 0:04:16.080 it's interesting. What was his intention of? Well, he doesn't 0:04:16.080 --> 0:04:19.080 think I deserved the last name, you know, like the 0:04:20.200 --> 0:04:22.760 whatever perks he thinks might come along with it. I'm 0:04:22.760 --> 0:04:26.760 not sure you can't claim to be me right. But 0:04:26.880 --> 0:04:30.039 the thing is is I number one, have a son 0:04:30.160 --> 0:04:31.960 with the last name, and I would like to keep 0:04:32.000 --> 0:04:36.159 the last name because it makes things more cohesive and 0:04:36.240 --> 0:04:39.039 it's easier when it comes to school or travel or 0:04:39.560 --> 0:04:43.240 medical whatever. I agree with that. Can you then say, well, 0:04:43.400 --> 0:04:46.520 let can we change Rocco's last name? Yes, that's what 0:04:46.560 --> 0:04:49.119 I would say. I said that, and I also said 0:04:49.920 --> 0:04:54.159 I have established a career over the last eighteen years 0:04:54.240 --> 0:04:57.599 under this name, and for me to go back to 0:04:57.680 --> 0:05:00.400 my baby there are you know, it's just not the easy. 0:05:00.720 --> 0:05:02.480 It's such a pain to change your name too. Even 0:05:02.520 --> 0:05:04.760 if you want to change it on your words, you're 0:05:04.760 --> 0:05:07.880 gonna have to sit in your door. Can you imagine? Also, 0:05:08.240 --> 0:05:12.400 my license as a psychologist I'm under you know that 0:05:12.520 --> 0:05:17.120 last name. There's so many levels of you know that 0:05:17.200 --> 0:05:19.839 I would have to change so much it would take 0:05:19.960 --> 0:05:21.960 what did he say when you said the Rocco thing 0:05:22.760 --> 0:05:25.600 changing nothing less? He didn't even acknowledge that. Well, I 0:05:25.600 --> 0:05:28.279 would push for that if anything. Well, then he said, 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:32.359 she said, well, you have no control over the mediator 0:05:32.440 --> 0:05:35.000 said that, yeah, if somebody changes their name or not. 0:05:35.240 --> 0:05:40.040 And he said, well what if I sue her drop 0:05:40.120 --> 0:05:42.440 the last name? And she said, I have no idea. 0:05:42.480 --> 0:05:45.080 I've been working in family court for twenty five years 0:05:45.080 --> 0:05:48.840 as an attorney. I've never had this question. Wow, but 0:05:48.880 --> 0:05:52.720 what what would be the grounds of suing? I don't know. 0:05:52.839 --> 0:05:58.720 He doesn't own the last name, right, he can't everybody. Yeah, 0:05:58.760 --> 0:06:02.120 but they're not legally mary It anymore. Her name is 0:06:02.240 --> 0:06:06.359 legally but they're not legally married. That has nothing to 0:06:06.360 --> 0:06:09.039 do with her now, because the name is not attached 0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:12.120 to the merrit you have. But that doesn't make sense 0:06:12.160 --> 0:06:14.560 to me. So I'm doing Devil's advocates all this. So 0:06:14.640 --> 0:06:16.760 it doesn't make sense that it's two separate things. Like 0:06:16.800 --> 0:06:19.160 when you go to a marriage, you have a license 0:06:19.360 --> 0:06:21.800 and paperwork for that. When you go to change your name, 0:06:21.800 --> 0:06:23.560 whether you ever become married to someone or not. Like 0:06:23.600 --> 0:06:25.039 if I wanted to go and change my name to 0:06:25.120 --> 0:06:27.440 something tomorrow, I would have to go and file certain 0:06:27.440 --> 0:06:30.880 paperwork and get a certain license for that name. Those 0:06:30.880 --> 0:06:34.359 are two completely separate things. Just because they happen to 0:06:34.400 --> 0:06:36.760 have the same last name because they were married, has 0:06:36.800 --> 0:06:40.520 no contingency on But shouldn't it though, No, Why I 0:06:40.520 --> 0:06:43.279 don't think so, because it's there's no there's no ownership, 0:06:43.360 --> 0:06:48.440 there's no intellectual guy. I'm just asking questions. We just 0:06:48.440 --> 0:06:51.000 think about, think about. Think about the couples that the 0:06:51.040 --> 0:06:53.520 female doesn't change her name like that, that doesn't mean 0:06:53.560 --> 0:06:55.640 they're not married because you don't change. My last name 0:06:55.640 --> 0:06:58.920 is Solomon legally, legally you didn't change it to Check. No, 0:06:59.240 --> 0:07:02.280 because you never change never. Never. It's such a pain. 0:07:02.440 --> 0:07:04.320 I didn't want to do it. Now when I have 0:07:04.520 --> 0:07:06.839 a email that is check and when I go to 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:10.920 any kind of preschool related things with Camden, I just 0:07:10.960 --> 0:07:12.960 say my name is Julie Check but legally on my 0:07:13.040 --> 0:07:16.120 driver's license it is Solomon. But what about like her, 0:07:16.280 --> 0:07:17.560 you know, in her defense, and she's like when we 0:07:17.560 --> 0:07:18.840 go to the hospital and stuff, when they show that 0:07:18.840 --> 0:07:20.320 thing well you're not. Your last name is not Check. 0:07:20.400 --> 0:07:22.920 So are you really the parent? Yeah, that's never been 0:07:22.920 --> 0:07:24.400 a problem. Like when I go to the airport, it 0:07:24.440 --> 0:07:27.400 says Julie Solomon and then he's Camden Checked and and 0:07:27.440 --> 0:07:29.400 you you do you don't mind being a different last 0:07:29.440 --> 0:07:32.800 name than your son. I've been married before Jonathan, and 0:07:32.880 --> 0:07:35.320 it was such a pain to go through that process. 0:07:35.360 --> 0:07:37.640 Like I feel your pain with that, to go through 0:07:37.640 --> 0:07:40.040 the process of changing a name. I just said, like, legally, 0:07:40.080 --> 0:07:42.960 I'll never do that again. And now I've established you know, 0:07:43.000 --> 0:07:45.040 I have a business just everything that you I say 0:07:45.080 --> 0:07:48.240 when you establish yourself with a certain name. But um, yeah, 0:07:48.240 --> 0:07:51.960 I just I don't see there's no money, like there's 0:07:52.000 --> 0:07:57.120 no intellectual property or any kind of it's that tra monetary. Yeah, 0:07:57.320 --> 0:07:59.640 I don't understand what his other than just kind of 0:07:59.720 --> 0:08:04.560 like sounding spiteful. I don't really understand his point. I mean, 0:08:04.640 --> 0:08:09.000 I will say, I mean that's hard. But because so 0:08:09.160 --> 0:08:12.600 my mom, you know, she's you know, she's always been 0:08:12.840 --> 0:08:17.239 Cramer and she was married to my father for twenty years, 0:08:17.520 --> 0:08:20.680 but she's also been But I'm like, Mom, why didn't 0:08:20.680 --> 0:08:22.400 you ever go back to Kaufman. She's like, because Kramer 0:08:22.520 --> 0:08:25.400 is who is my name? It's the last name. You 0:08:25.400 --> 0:08:27.920 guys are Kramers. And I'm like, yeah, but you're so. 0:08:28.000 --> 0:08:30.160 I never I didn't understand why she didn't go back 0:08:30.200 --> 0:08:32.560 to her maiden name, because I would run back to 0:08:32.600 --> 0:08:36.080 my maiden name. Not like no offense, but like they 0:08:36.080 --> 0:08:38.600 can't pronounce your last name. So that's why I use Kramer. 0:08:40.520 --> 0:08:44.120 Why my name too, no one can say or pronounced check. Yeah, 0:08:44.160 --> 0:08:47.000 it's I mean, so annoying. And then also with his cousin, 0:08:47.120 --> 0:08:49.600 like c A U S S as in Sam I N. 0:08:49.640 --> 0:08:51.400 And we check into this place this last weekend, is 0:08:51.400 --> 0:08:55.000 it coffin, I'm like, this is what your last name? 0:08:55.160 --> 0:08:58.160 Ever for the rest of the weekend, I was, hey, 0:08:58.240 --> 0:09:04.720 Mr Kramer, but I mean because legally, yes, I am cousin. 0:09:05.040 --> 0:09:08.679 And again I would want and if we here's the pessimist, 0:09:08.679 --> 0:09:11.920 if we were to get divorced, you know I would 0:09:12.559 --> 0:09:18.560 then maybe that's Julie to change it to Cramer. There's 0:09:18.559 --> 0:09:21.679 a lot of traditional elements that go with Julie. Yeah, 0:09:21.760 --> 0:09:26.760 but she traditionally the child the name of the father. Traditionally, 0:09:27.240 --> 0:09:30.280 traditionally the wife takes the name. Is traditional in this 0:09:30.360 --> 0:09:33.440 day exactly like when my mom divorced my dad, she 0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:36.920 kept Solomon until she got remarried. The reason why she 0:09:36.920 --> 0:09:38.760 didn't go back to her maiden name when she was like, 0:09:39.040 --> 0:09:41.360 I've been a Solomon since I was nineteen years old. 0:09:41.400 --> 0:09:44.760 I have two kids that are like and so by 0:09:44.800 --> 0:09:47.400 me consciously making this decision to not do that before 0:09:47.400 --> 0:09:49.199 I had a child, I was able to kind of 0:09:49.480 --> 0:09:51.360 keep it that way. If I would have had a 0:09:51.440 --> 0:09:54.439 child with a married name, I would I would keep 0:09:54.440 --> 0:09:56.839 the married name. I would want to keep them keep it. 0:09:57.280 --> 0:10:01.000 I'm never changing my name again. So if he if 0:10:01.040 --> 0:10:03.520 he sues you, you say, bring it on and bringing 0:10:03.640 --> 0:10:07.800 up the gradually laugh at him like what is like 0:10:07.880 --> 0:10:11.000 what the legal name? Okay, yeah, so what if he 0:10:11.120 --> 0:10:15.000 remarried and your future husband it was really important to 0:10:15.040 --> 0:10:16.560 him that you took his name, would that be something 0:10:16.600 --> 0:10:20.160 you'd even consider? It would be a long conversation. I'm 0:10:20.240 --> 0:10:24.160 really not in the headspace to change my name. Ever, 0:10:23.720 --> 0:10:27.800 I wouldn't be able to for career reasons. Well, for 0:10:27.840 --> 0:10:29.560 career reasons, you can like so like, I'm always going 0:10:29.600 --> 0:10:31.840 to be Kramer, I'll never be Janna casson career, Like, 0:10:31.840 --> 0:10:33.440 I'm not going to change it. To Cosson girl, and 0:10:33.679 --> 0:10:39.640 you know what I mean, girl, I will always be 0:10:39.840 --> 0:10:42.320 you know, Crammer girl, like Jane Kramer is my like, 0:10:42.559 --> 0:10:45.520 so you can always go by. But legally you could 0:10:45.640 --> 0:10:48.080 change your name back, but you can still go by 0:10:48.240 --> 0:10:51.920 That's true. I guess I could. So that's still your work. 0:10:52.040 --> 0:10:55.240 That's name. That's the painful part. That's so much easier 0:10:55.640 --> 0:10:59.360 like everything, Yeah, like bank account, but it's really I 0:10:59.360 --> 0:11:01.880 mean it's yes and no, I mean the only thing 0:11:02.160 --> 0:11:04.000 that I'm costing, I mean yes legally and then for 0:11:04.000 --> 0:11:06.600 flights and stuff like that, and yes, that was it's 0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:10.160 always a change pain to change it. But again, you know, 0:11:10.200 --> 0:11:12.240 I still go by Kramer for so many things that 0:11:12.280 --> 0:11:15.160 I'm known as Kramer. And that's the only thing that 0:11:15.200 --> 0:11:18.640 really bothers you is when you get called Mr Kramer. Yeah, 0:11:18.679 --> 0:11:20.640 which was early in our relationship. And now I'm more 0:11:20.920 --> 0:11:23.319 you know, a lot more stable in my own world 0:11:23.360 --> 0:11:25.240 that and comfortable that I'm like, all right, whatever, just 0:11:25.280 --> 0:11:28.800 embrace it like I'm Mr Kramer. But I mean, but honestly, 0:11:28.840 --> 0:11:30.839 that was important to me when Jane and I first 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:33.840 got together and we got married, was like I understood 0:11:33.880 --> 0:11:36.120 that the whole stage name aspect, But for me, it 0:11:36.200 --> 0:11:40.760 was important debate not changing because I had gone through 0:11:40.760 --> 0:11:43.120 the name change again with your husband, which we'll get 0:11:43.120 --> 0:11:53.600 too later, so oh my god, oh yes, we'll get 0:11:53.600 --> 0:11:55.720 there later. But I mean, I get I had to change. 0:11:55.760 --> 0:11:57.959 It's like and that was when we were only married 0:11:58.000 --> 0:11:59.640 for like a week, but I mean it's still It's 0:11:59.640 --> 0:12:01.760 such an annoying process to have to change your name, 0:12:01.760 --> 0:12:03.960 and I'm like, God, like to do that again. It's 0:12:04.679 --> 0:12:06.040 do you know, do I want to go through that 0:12:06.080 --> 0:12:08.080 hass again, because you're right, even just with the freaking 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:14.000 changing airline number. Yes, I've thought about if my husband's 0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:17.160 last name was easy to stay and spell, like maybe 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:20.000 one of these days, Yeah, then I would like go 0:12:20.040 --> 0:12:22.600 through the process if it mattered to him and matter 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:24.920 to my son. But he doesn't care. They don't care. 0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:28.040 But you cared. Yeah, I cared, And that was just 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:29.880 something for me. I was like, you can be Jane 0:12:29.960 --> 0:12:32.360 Kramer on stage all you want, but legally, I would 0:12:32.360 --> 0:12:36.640 love for paper for us, for us and our children 0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:38.720 to have the same last name. That was very important 0:12:38.760 --> 0:12:41.680 for me. Did you ever consider becoming Michael Kramer? I asked, 0:12:42.640 --> 0:12:46.320 I asked, Donna did that with her with her husband, 0:12:46.400 --> 0:12:49.120 and I said, now there you go, good for him 0:12:49.360 --> 0:12:56.200 and whatever. Hale um. Well, but again, like why is 0:12:56.240 --> 0:12:59.360 that though? I mean, I understand your grandpa carrying on 0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:01.960 his lineage. Yeah, And that's the thing. I was the 0:13:02.000 --> 0:13:03.680 only cost in mail for so long, grant I had 0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:05.599 my little brother. But it's up to my brother and 0:13:05.640 --> 0:13:07.760 I to keep the costs in name alive. But who 0:13:07.800 --> 0:13:09.880 really cares? It's just a name. Well, now you can 0:13:09.960 --> 0:13:12.560 change it. You'll have it now with your son, right, 0:13:12.600 --> 0:13:15.319 But again, it's just a name. Why does it really matter? 0:13:15.840 --> 0:13:18.319 Because for a lot especially as super traditional, but that's 0:13:18.360 --> 0:13:20.800 like your legacy, like for a lot of for a 0:13:20.800 --> 0:13:23.199 lot of old traditional people, that's like your legacy, your name. 0:13:23.280 --> 0:13:25.680 That the name means a lot to a lot of people. 0:13:26.160 --> 0:13:28.080 But why why do we put so much value on 0:13:28.120 --> 0:13:31.640 a last name? Because it's when you think about a 0:13:31.720 --> 0:13:33.559 last name, you think about it. I'm not saying, I'm 0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:36.520 just you have thoughts of maybe that family, have thoughts 0:13:36.559 --> 0:13:38.640 of those people, like oh, when you think of Creamer, 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:41.560 you think of these attributes or these I don't, but 0:13:41.720 --> 0:13:44.360 I mean not really like the Kaufman Craamer, Like both 0:13:44.400 --> 0:13:46.840 sides of my family whether it's Rinaldi, Like, I don't 0:13:46.880 --> 0:13:49.480 think there Rinaldi's You know, my aunt siusan uncle were 0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:51.760 any less a part of my family because they have 0:13:51.760 --> 0:13:54.040 a different last name. I'm not saying that. I'm not 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:56.160 saying that at all. It's just for some people, very 0:13:56.160 --> 0:13:59.280 traditional thinking is that there's something to a name, and 0:13:59.320 --> 0:14:00.839 they take a lot of pride in that. Well, I'm 0:14:00.840 --> 0:14:04.880 just curious how it's gonna change here, Yeah, in my situation, 0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:08.439 because she's like, can you bring it back to my situation? No, no, No, 0:14:09.640 --> 0:14:12.320 that's what I'm saying. What I'm saying is I understand 0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:16.040 the traditional because that's really what it's coming down to 0:14:16.360 --> 0:14:21.960 right here, because it's an ethnic family, right, layers and 0:14:22.040 --> 0:14:25.240 layers and layers of tradition when it comes to names, 0:14:25.640 --> 0:14:28.360 everything is about the name. And I get that. But 0:14:28.440 --> 0:14:32.160 because society is changing so much, and I understand your 0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:36.600 grandpa Cosson, I understand that, but I also why change 0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:40.280 your name, Janna? Because he made me I really truly 0:14:40.280 --> 0:14:46.960 didn't want to yeah for courthouse and said sign this. Yeah, 0:14:47.000 --> 0:14:50.080 I mean I I truly because I'm like, in this generation, 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:53.240 who cares if I'm a Cramer Cosson check this that whatever, 0:14:53.440 --> 0:14:56.440 Like why can't I just be Janna? Like what, why 0:14:56.480 --> 0:14:59.280 does it really truly matter in this day and age. Again, 0:14:59.360 --> 0:15:03.240 I'm not shame people that change their name, just that 0:15:04.440 --> 0:15:08.240 disclaimer disclaimer, but again I do I do understand generationally, 0:15:08.560 --> 0:15:10.720 but now that things are changing, I'm curious to see 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:12.520 if that's going to change to her. People don't change 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:14.280 their last name. Yeah, I see more and more people 0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:18.640 not doing it in our generation than the generations before. 0:15:18.680 --> 0:15:20.800 But having said that, I did debate his sister because 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:24.400 his sister is talking about not taking her maybe soon 0:15:24.440 --> 0:15:27.320 to be husband's last name, and I was like, for me, 0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:29.400 I do want the same last name as my child, 0:15:29.680 --> 0:15:31.880 So I would have encouraged her to be a Cramer 0:15:32.520 --> 0:15:34.440 or whatever. But again, I'd like it to be my 0:15:34.520 --> 0:15:37.360 last name. And as far as everyone knows at school, 0:15:37.800 --> 0:15:40.120 I have the same last name as my child, right, 0:15:41.040 --> 0:15:43.760 but the doctors and the health insurance companies and the 0:15:43.800 --> 0:15:46.800 airlines know that. I would be interested to see if 0:15:46.840 --> 0:15:48.920 if there is a situation where like maybe in your 0:15:48.960 --> 0:15:51.720 situation and you really wanted Rocco to take your last name, 0:15:52.080 --> 0:15:56.800 Like where if in the judicial system, if judges are 0:15:56.840 --> 0:15:59.040 just very traditional to and like, no, that's just not happened. 0:15:59.080 --> 0:16:01.320 That's not what we do. But with the change of times, 0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:03.320 maybe there is a judge that you can make a 0:16:03.320 --> 0:16:05.840 point for your child to have take the mother's maiden name, 0:16:06.400 --> 0:16:10.520 which would be really weird. Why because it hasn't been done. 0:16:10.560 --> 0:16:12.840 That's the only reason it hasn't been done. Okay, maybe 0:16:13.440 --> 0:16:16.320 have not been done, but I'm not I'm just saying 0:16:16.360 --> 0:16:18.520 it feels weird because it hasn't been done yet I'm 0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:23.680 sure it will. So I'm a total chicken when it 0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:26.680 comes to being home alone, which is why I'm so 0:16:26.760 --> 0:16:29.280 happy that I finally sponsored up with a d T. 0:16:30.360 --> 0:16:32.800 But what I love and why I feel safe in 0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:34.800 my house now is because I have a d T. 0:16:35.440 --> 0:16:37.640 So a t T can design and install a smart 0:16:37.680 --> 0:16:40.760 home just for you. It's back by seven protection. And 0:16:40.760 --> 0:16:43.800 for me that's huge because when my husband's gone and 0:16:43.800 --> 0:16:45.800 I'm home alone, it's just me and my little girl, 0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:47.560 and I want to make sure that we are safe 0:16:47.560 --> 0:16:50.000 and obviously soon to be another boy or as soon 0:16:50.080 --> 0:16:52.120 to be a boy on the way, so I just 0:16:52.120 --> 0:16:53.960 want to make sure that our house is protected, we 0:16:54.000 --> 0:16:56.840 are protected, and that I can sleep for the night 0:16:56.880 --> 0:16:59.200 and knowing everything is good and even when I'm not home, 0:16:59.320 --> 0:17:01.840 so if I forget to close the garage door or 0:17:01.880 --> 0:17:04.760 if I forget to lock the doors, things like that, 0:17:05.000 --> 0:17:07.280 or the thermostat. Those are also things that you can 0:17:07.280 --> 0:17:10.720 set up customization wise with a d T, which is fantastic. 0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:12.879 So a d T will set up your home with 0:17:12.960 --> 0:17:16.720 multiple smart home devices again, which is so so so great. 0:17:17.119 --> 0:17:19.720 So visit a DT dot com slash smart to learn 0:17:19.720 --> 0:17:21.800 more about how a d T can design and install 0:17:21.880 --> 0:17:26.080 a secure smart home just for you feel safe, just 0:17:26.160 --> 0:17:31.280 like I do. Well, you know what, I'm really excited 0:17:31.280 --> 0:17:36.320 because we have Samantha Harrison Studio. Hello. Hello, Hello, this 0:17:36.400 --> 0:17:40.160 is the most fun room ever. That's why it took 0:17:40.160 --> 0:17:43.560 me to write a freaking book to come on. And 0:17:43.640 --> 0:17:45.960 I was it was so funny because you instagram me 0:17:46.320 --> 0:17:48.200 said you're excited to meet me, and sometimes I don't 0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:50.399 know if it's someone else to know you have the 0:17:50.440 --> 0:17:51.639 check mark. But then I wrote you back and I 0:17:51.640 --> 0:17:53.119 was like, I'm so excited to meet you too, but no, 0:17:53.240 --> 0:17:55.919 I'm very genuinely like I I've loved you forever. I 0:17:55.960 --> 0:17:59.280 think you're an incredible host. What you do is fantastic. 0:17:59.280 --> 0:18:02.520 You're beautiful. You're so sweet and I'm just I was 0:18:02.560 --> 0:18:04.680 pumped to have you in studio. Well, I'm excited to 0:18:04.680 --> 0:18:08.120 be here. Congratulations on your second baby. So gorgeous. I mean, seriously, 0:18:08.160 --> 0:18:11.399 like the most beautiful pregnant girl. Never I hate her 0:18:11.520 --> 0:18:15.920 just a little bit. No, guys, tell me a little 0:18:15.920 --> 0:18:18.920 bit more. Um, Okay, I want to get to your book, 0:18:18.960 --> 0:18:20.960 but I also I want to talk about Can we 0:18:21.000 --> 0:18:22.960 talk about cancer? We can talk about Yes, that's that 0:18:23.000 --> 0:18:24.840 was the impetus for the book. So yes, how did 0:18:24.920 --> 0:18:27.399 you find out? So I was about to turn forty, 0:18:27.560 --> 0:18:29.760 more fit and healthier than I ever had been at 0:18:29.760 --> 0:18:32.520 the time, or so I thought. And I thought, you know, 0:18:32.560 --> 0:18:34.159 when you turn forty supposed to get a jump on 0:18:34.160 --> 0:18:36.159 that mammogram things. So let's, you know, set it up. 0:18:36.240 --> 0:18:39.000 They're staying thirty five now though, right, you know there 0:18:40.200 --> 0:18:42.920 everything changes because really it comes down sadly to your 0:18:42.920 --> 0:18:46.840 insurance and and there might be recommendations out there, but 0:18:46.920 --> 0:18:48.879 it comes down to your doctor and your insurance. So 0:18:48.920 --> 0:18:52.120 that's a topic for another day. But in my mind, 0:18:52.160 --> 0:18:54.920 it was forty set the baseline. I'm healthy. Let's get 0:18:54.920 --> 0:18:56.920 it while I'm healthy, right, And this is how many 0:18:56.960 --> 0:18:59.200 years ago. This was and a half years ago, forty 0:18:59.440 --> 0:19:01.439 later this year, and I'm very happy for every new 0:19:01.520 --> 0:19:04.639 year that I get to churn um and you know, 0:19:04.680 --> 0:19:07.199 and I set the baseline because my grandmother was a 0:19:07.240 --> 0:19:10.280 thirty year survivor post menopausal breast cancer, which has no 0:19:10.320 --> 0:19:12.920 connection to mine. My dad died of colin cancer at 0:19:12.920 --> 0:19:16.119 fifty um, and so cancer had been in my family. 0:19:16.160 --> 0:19:17.639 And I thought, I've got three and a six year 0:19:17.680 --> 0:19:19.639 old at home. Hey, let's let's do this. Had a 0:19:19.680 --> 0:19:22.119 clear mammogram. It's exactly what I thought it would be clear. 0:19:22.840 --> 0:19:27.040 Eleven days later, while I was changing after a workout class, 0:19:27.359 --> 0:19:29.880 I found a lump on the interior of my right 0:19:29.920 --> 0:19:34.639 breast And how did you or just kind of like 0:19:34.680 --> 0:19:36.520 one of those because I don't ever feel my boy, 0:19:36.560 --> 0:19:39.440 you don't don't either, all right, this is my if 0:19:39.720 --> 0:19:43.280 you take every now and then, yeah, Michael, really, Michael, 0:19:44.160 --> 0:19:46.640 sometimes it's about the men in your life. I can 0:19:46.640 --> 0:19:49.399 take that a lot of pressure on you and feeling 0:19:49.400 --> 0:19:56.800 them right now. Actually, okay, well look I think I think, 0:19:56.800 --> 0:19:59.679 you know, breastfeeding really helped me become comfortable with touching 0:19:59.680 --> 0:20:03.040 my bro and um, not just in the intimacy of 0:20:03.080 --> 0:20:06.320 my relationship. But you know, really, when you guys take 0:20:06.359 --> 0:20:07.960 off your bra after a long day, you aren't like 0:20:07.960 --> 0:20:10.000 a circle to the right circle to love. Move these 0:20:10.040 --> 0:20:13.080 things around like now I just get into bed and 0:20:13.440 --> 0:20:17.240 pass out. I mean, all right, well if you don't, 0:20:17.480 --> 0:20:20.160 my public service announcement is get in touch with your girls. 0:20:20.240 --> 0:20:22.879 Don't be afraid to fondle, feel touch. You need to 0:20:22.880 --> 0:20:25.240 know your body, not just your breast, but every part 0:20:25.280 --> 0:20:28.840 of it better than anyone else. And you can't rely 0:20:29.000 --> 0:20:30.800 on doctors to know your body because guess what, they 0:20:30.840 --> 0:20:32.919 see a lot of patients. So but okay, so anyways, 0:20:32.920 --> 0:20:34.560 you were taking your sports bra off. You found a 0:20:34.640 --> 0:20:36.600 lump in your right your right breas. Yeah. You know, 0:20:36.640 --> 0:20:39.119 I've been so compressed with the compression of a sports 0:20:39.119 --> 0:20:40.840 bra that I was like, oh, let's move these around. 0:20:40.920 --> 0:20:43.840 What the wait a second, what is that? Well, that's weird. 0:20:43.880 --> 0:20:45.680 That has not been there before. You just had a 0:20:45.720 --> 0:20:50.240 clear eleven days prior, had a clear mammogram. So you know, 0:20:50.320 --> 0:20:52.080 I figured, you know what, I'm going to be vigilant. 0:20:52.080 --> 0:20:53.639 I'm gonna call my O be with ju I n 0:20:54.280 --> 0:20:56.040