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Speaker 1: Wine Down with Janna Kramer and I Heart Radio Plae.

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Speaker 1: We got some harmonies on that one. This is going

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Speaker 1: to be a really fun one. I'm excited because there's

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Speaker 1: gonna be some really juicy stories we're going to tell

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Speaker 1: in this show. So I've got one of my dearest

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Speaker 1: besties here, Julie Solomon. Give it up for Julie, and

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Speaker 1: then of course, um, Jen and Michael Hello, and just

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Speaker 1: one little Jenna takes it for granted. Jen, take you

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Speaker 1: guys for granted at all? At all? Apause, I'm sorry

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Speaker 1: because you guys are just yeah, you're the rags, and

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Speaker 1: Julie is like, she's my guest, you know, our guest,

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Speaker 1: and you're the guest of honor. So, um, do you

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Speaker 1: want to because I feel like we walked into like

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Speaker 1: something and you wanted to share it on air. I

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Speaker 1: have no idea what you want to share, but do

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Speaker 1: you want to talk about it? Yeah? Right now, right now?

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Speaker 1: I mean what I said to you, as I said,

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Speaker 1: are you sure you want to share it on air? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I'm you know, because it has to do with divorce,

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Speaker 1: it does. It has to do with divorce. I had

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Speaker 1: my last mediation appoint appointment. I guess you'd call it

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Speaker 1: with him or with him and the mediator. You didn't

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Speaker 1: go through a lawyer. You you guys wanted to sit

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Speaker 1: down media use the mediator, which I think was a

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Speaker 1: great experience. Why why that versus lawyer lawyer? Because the

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Speaker 1: clause didn't come out. It's all about communicating and having

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Speaker 1: somebody there to mediate. You know, it will have lawyers

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Speaker 1: if that happens to Michael, I don't want to talk

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Speaker 1: to you once again, my pessimistic wife. Prepare for the worst.

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Speaker 1: It listened mediation the way every you know, when it

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Speaker 1: was mediation day the night before, I'd be like, oh god,

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Speaker 1: I have to go in there. And you know, if

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Speaker 1: you don't want to look back to the mediator, right,

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Speaker 1: you kind of want to be No, No, It's okay,

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Speaker 1: you could have the lake house, right, It's like here

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Speaker 1: you go. What else can I give you? Anyways, So

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Speaker 1: we are wrapping it up and we're actually signing the deals.

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Speaker 1: I'm calling them deals, So like, this is what you get,

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Speaker 1: this is what you get, This is all the time

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Speaker 1: I get with Rocco. These are the days. Got a

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Speaker 1: six year old boy named Rocco too. So, and what

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Speaker 1: did you do for holidays. Sorry, we switch. Easter is

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Speaker 1: very important to him and his family, so you know

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Speaker 1: that's something that he gets. Um, I always get Halloween. Um,

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Speaker 1: that's written in and every other holiday just give you

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Speaker 1: got it. And then we switch back and forth for

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Speaker 1: you know, the holidays, Christmas and every other year. Or

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Speaker 1: We've been really flexible with each other when it comes

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Speaker 1: to holidays anyways. You know, if he really wants them

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Speaker 1: for Thanksgiving because his family has something going on, I'm

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Speaker 1: okay with that. You know, we we communicate really well

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Speaker 1: when it comes to Rocko and then we have no

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Speaker 1: communication other than that, which is ven. That's good. So

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Speaker 1: we're wrapping up and he says, oh, I have one

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Speaker 1: more thing that I would like to put into the paperwork.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, is the mediation one session? About five

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Speaker 1: and then you have like a financial mediation to like,

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Speaker 1: that's all part of it, that's all part of it.

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Speaker 1: So I'm like, what is he? What's he? What's he

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Speaker 1: going to ask for? Everything has been done, like the

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Speaker 1: house has done, like everything go. So I would like

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Speaker 1: to put it in the paperwork that she has to

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Speaker 1: switch her name back. What I want her? I want

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Speaker 1: my name back? Oh, so you have to go back

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Speaker 1: to your maiden name, right, But you can't do that.

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Speaker 1: So I started laughing because it just made me. I

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Speaker 1: was like, well that's interesting. I was like, am I

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Speaker 1: this is real? I'm not dreaming right, This isn't like

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Speaker 1: it's interesting. What was his intention of? Well, he doesn't

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Speaker 1: think I deserved the last name, you know, like the

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Speaker 1: whatever perks he thinks might come along with it. I'm

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Speaker 1: not sure you can't claim to be me right. But

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Speaker 1: the thing is is I number one, have a son

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Speaker 1: with the last name, and I would like to keep

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Speaker 1: the last name because it makes things more cohesive and

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Speaker 1: it's easier when it comes to school or travel or

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Speaker 1: medical whatever. I agree with that. Can you then say, well,

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Speaker 1: let can we change Rocco's last name? Yes, that's what

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Speaker 1: I would say. I said that, and I also said

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Speaker 1: I have established a career over the last eighteen years

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Speaker 1: under this name, and for me to go back to

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Speaker 1: my baby there are you know, it's just not the easy.

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Speaker 1: It's such a pain to change your name too. Even

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Speaker 1: if you want to change it on your words, you're

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Speaker 1: gonna have to sit in your door. Can you imagine? Also,

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Speaker 1: my license as a psychologist I'm under you know that

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Speaker 1: last name. There's so many levels of you know that

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Speaker 1: I would have to change so much it would take

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Speaker 1: what did he say when you said the Rocco thing

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Speaker 1: changing nothing less? He didn't even acknowledge that. Well, I

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Speaker 1: would push for that if anything. Well, then he said,

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Speaker 1: she said, well, you have no control over the mediator

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Speaker 1: said that, yeah, if somebody changes their name or not.

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Speaker 1: And he said, well what if I sue her drop

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Speaker 1: the last name? And she said, I have no idea.

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Speaker 1: I've been working in family court for twenty five years

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Speaker 1: as an attorney. I've never had this question. Wow, but

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Speaker 1: what what would be the grounds of suing? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't own the last name, right, he can't everybody. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but they're not legally mary It anymore. Her name is

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Speaker 1: legally but they're not legally married. That has nothing to

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Speaker 1: do with her now, because the name is not attached

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Speaker 1: to the merrit you have. But that doesn't make sense

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Speaker 1: to me. So I'm doing Devil's advocates all this. So

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Speaker 1: it doesn't make sense that it's two separate things. Like

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Speaker 1: when you go to a marriage, you have a license

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Speaker 1: and paperwork for that. When you go to change your name,

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Speaker 1: whether you ever become married to someone or not. Like

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Speaker 1: if I wanted to go and change my name to

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Speaker 1: something tomorrow, I would have to go and file certain

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Speaker 1: paperwork and get a certain license for that name. Those

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Speaker 1: are two completely separate things. Just because they happen to

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Speaker 1: have the same last name because they were married, has

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Speaker 1: no contingency on But shouldn't it though, No, Why I

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Speaker 1: don't think so, because it's there's no there's no ownership,

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Speaker 1: there's no intellectual guy. I'm just asking questions. We just

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Speaker 1: think about, think about. Think about the couples that the

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Speaker 1: female doesn't change her name like that, that doesn't mean

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Speaker 1: they're not married because you don't change. My last name

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Speaker 1: is Solomon legally, legally you didn't change it to Check. No,

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Speaker 1: because you never change never. Never. It's such a pain.

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to do it. Now when I have

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Speaker 1: a email that is check and when I go to

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Speaker 1: any kind of preschool related things with Camden, I just

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Speaker 1: say my name is Julie Check but legally on my

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Speaker 1: driver's license it is Solomon. But what about like her,

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Speaker 1: you know, in her defense, and she's like when we

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Speaker 1: go to the hospital and stuff, when they show that

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Speaker 1: thing well you're not. Your last name is not Check.

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Speaker 1: So are you really the parent? Yeah, that's never been

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Speaker 1: a problem. Like when I go to the airport, it

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Speaker 1: says Julie Solomon and then he's Camden Checked and and

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Speaker 1: you you do you don't mind being a different last

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Speaker 1: name than your son. I've been married before Jonathan, and

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Speaker 1: it was such a pain to go through that process.

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Speaker 1: Like I feel your pain with that, to go through

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Speaker 1: the process of changing a name. I just said, like, legally,

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Speaker 1: I'll never do that again. And now I've established you know,

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Speaker 1: I have a business just everything that you I say

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Speaker 1: when you establish yourself with a certain name. But um, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I just I don't see there's no money, like there's

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Speaker 1: no intellectual property or any kind of it's that tra monetary. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't understand what his other than just kind of

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Speaker 1: like sounding spiteful. I don't really understand his point. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I will say, I mean that's hard. But because so

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Speaker 1: my mom, you know, she's you know, she's always been

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Speaker 1: Cramer and she was married to my father for twenty years,

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Speaker 1: but she's also been But I'm like, Mom, why didn't

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Speaker 1: you ever go back to Kaufman. She's like, because Kramer

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Speaker 1: is who is my name? It's the last name. You

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Speaker 1: guys are Kramers. And I'm like, yeah, but you're so.

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Speaker 1: I never I didn't understand why she didn't go back

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Speaker 1: to her maiden name, because I would run back to

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Speaker 1: my maiden name. Not like no offense, but like they

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Speaker 1: can't pronounce your last name. So that's why I use Kramer.

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Speaker 1: Why my name too, no one can say or pronounced check. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's I mean, so annoying. And then also with his cousin,

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Speaker 1: like c A U S S as in Sam I N.

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Speaker 1: And we check into this place this last weekend, is

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Speaker 1: it coffin, I'm like, this is what your last name?

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Speaker 1: Ever for the rest of the weekend, I was, hey,

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Speaker 1: Mr Kramer, but I mean because legally, yes, I am cousin.

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Speaker 1: And again I would want and if we here's the pessimist,

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Speaker 1: if we were to get divorced, you know I would

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Speaker 1: then maybe that's Julie to change it to Cramer. There's

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Speaker 1: a lot of traditional elements that go with Julie. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but she traditionally the child the name of the father. Traditionally,

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Speaker 1: traditionally the wife takes the name. Is traditional in this

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Speaker 1: day exactly like when my mom divorced my dad, she

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Speaker 1: kept Solomon until she got remarried. The reason why she

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Speaker 1: didn't go back to her maiden name when she was like,

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Speaker 1: I've been a Solomon since I was nineteen years old.

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Speaker 1: I have two kids that are like and so by

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Speaker 1: me consciously making this decision to not do that before

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Speaker 1: I had a child, I was able to kind of

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Speaker 1: keep it that way. If I would have had a

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Speaker 1: child with a married name, I would I would keep

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Speaker 1: the married name. I would want to keep them keep it.

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Speaker 1: I'm never changing my name again. So if he if

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Speaker 1: he sues you, you say, bring it on and bringing

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Speaker 1: up the gradually laugh at him like what is like

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Speaker 1: what the legal name? Okay, yeah, so what if he

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Speaker 1: remarried and your future husband it was really important to

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Speaker 1: him that you took his name, would that be something

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Speaker 1: you'd even consider? It would be a long conversation. I'm

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Speaker 1: really not in the headspace to change my name. Ever,

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't be able to for career reasons. Well, for

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Speaker 1: career reasons, you can like so like, I'm always going

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Speaker 1: to be Kramer, I'll never be Janna casson career, Like,

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to change it. To Cosson girl, and

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, girl, I will always be

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Speaker 1: you know, Crammer girl, like Jane Kramer is my like,

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Speaker 1: so you can always go by. But legally you could

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Speaker 1: change your name back, but you can still go by

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Speaker 1: That's true. I guess I could. So that's still your work.

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Speaker 1: That's name. That's the painful part. That's so much easier

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Speaker 1: like everything, Yeah, like bank account, but it's really I

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Speaker 1: mean it's yes and no, I mean the only thing

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Speaker 1: that I'm costing, I mean yes legally and then for

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Speaker 1: flights and stuff like that, and yes, that was it's

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Speaker 1: always a change pain to change it. But again, you know,

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Speaker 1: I still go by Kramer for so many things that

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Speaker 1: I'm known as Kramer. And that's the only thing that

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Speaker 1: really bothers you is when you get called Mr Kramer. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: which was early in our relationship. And now I'm more

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Speaker 1: you know, a lot more stable in my own world

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Speaker 1: that and comfortable that I'm like, all right, whatever, just

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Speaker 1: embrace it like I'm Mr Kramer. But I mean, but honestly,

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Speaker 1: that was important to me when Jane and I first

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Speaker 1: got together and we got married, was like I understood

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Speaker 1: that the whole stage name aspect, But for me, it

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Speaker 1: was important debate not changing because I had gone through

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Speaker 1: the name change again with your husband, which we'll get

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Speaker 1: too later, so oh my god, oh yes, we'll get

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Speaker 1: there later. But I mean, I get I had to change.

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Speaker 1: It's like and that was when we were only married

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Speaker 1: for like a week, but I mean it's still It's

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Speaker 1: such an annoying process to have to change your name,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, God, like to do that again. It's

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Speaker 1: do you know, do I want to go through that

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Speaker 1: hass again, because you're right, even just with the freaking

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Speaker 1: changing airline number. Yes, I've thought about if my husband's

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Speaker 1: last name was easy to stay and spell, like maybe

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Speaker 1: one of these days, Yeah, then I would like go

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Speaker 1: through the process if it mattered to him and matter

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Speaker 1: to my son. But he doesn't care. They don't care.

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Speaker 1: But you cared. Yeah, I cared, And that was just

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Speaker 1: something for me. I was like, you can be Jane

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Speaker 1: Kramer on stage all you want, but legally, I would

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Speaker 1: love for paper for us, for us and our children

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Speaker 1: to have the same last name. That was very important

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Speaker 1: for me. Did you ever consider becoming Michael Kramer? I asked,

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Speaker 1: I asked, Donna did that with her with her husband,

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Speaker 1: and I said, now there you go, good for him

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Speaker 1: and whatever. Hale um. Well, but again, like why is

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Speaker 1: that though? I mean, I understand your grandpa carrying on

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Speaker 1: his lineage. Yeah, And that's the thing. I was the

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Speaker 1: only cost in mail for so long, grant I had

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Speaker 1: my little brother. But it's up to my brother and

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Speaker 1: I to keep the costs in name alive. But who

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Speaker 1: really cares? It's just a name. Well, now you can

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Speaker 1: change it. You'll have it now with your son, right,

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Speaker 1: But again, it's just a name. Why does it really matter?

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Speaker 1: Because for a lot especially as super traditional, but that's

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Speaker 1: like your legacy, like for a lot of for a

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Speaker 1: lot of old traditional people, that's like your legacy, your name.

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Speaker 1: That the name means a lot to a lot of people.

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Speaker 1: But why why do we put so much value on

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Speaker 1: a last name? Because it's when you think about a

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Speaker 1: last name, you think about it. I'm not saying, I'm

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Speaker 1: just you have thoughts of maybe that family, have thoughts

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Speaker 1: of those people, like oh, when you think of Creamer,

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Speaker 1: you think of these attributes or these I don't, but

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Speaker 1: I mean not really like the Kaufman Craamer, Like both

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Speaker 1: sides of my family whether it's Rinaldi, Like, I don't

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Speaker 1: think there Rinaldi's You know, my aunt siusan uncle were

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Speaker 1: any less a part of my family because they have

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Speaker 1: a different last name. I'm not saying that. I'm not

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Speaker 1: saying that at all. It's just for some people, very

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Speaker 1: traditional thinking is that there's something to a name, and

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Speaker 1: they take a lot of pride in that. Well, I'm

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Speaker 1: just curious how it's gonna change here, Yeah, in my situation,

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Speaker 1: because she's like, can you bring it back to my situation? No, no, No,

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Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying. What I'm saying is I understand

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Speaker 1: the traditional because that's really what it's coming down to

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Speaker 1: right here, because it's an ethnic family, right, layers and

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Speaker 1: layers and layers of tradition when it comes to names,

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Speaker 1: everything is about the name. And I get that. But

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Speaker 1: because society is changing so much, and I understand your

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Speaker 1: grandpa Cosson, I understand that, but I also why change

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Speaker 1: your name, Janna? Because he made me I really truly

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Speaker 1: didn't want to yeah for courthouse and said sign this. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean I I truly because I'm like, in this generation,

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Speaker 1: who cares if I'm a Cramer Cosson check this that whatever,

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Speaker 1: Like why can't I just be Janna? Like what, why

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Speaker 1: does it really truly matter in this day and age. Again,

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Speaker 1: I'm not shame people that change their name, just that

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Speaker 1: disclaimer disclaimer, but again I do I do understand generationally,

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Speaker 1: but now that things are changing, I'm curious to see

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Speaker 1: if that's going to change to her. People don't change

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Speaker 1: their last name. Yeah, I see more and more people

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Speaker 1: not doing it in our generation than the generations before.

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Speaker 1: But having said that, I did debate his sister because

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Speaker 1: his sister is talking about not taking her maybe soon

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Speaker 1: to be husband's last name, and I was like, for me,

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Speaker 1: I do want the same last name as my child,

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Speaker 1: So I would have encouraged her to be a Cramer

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Speaker 1: or whatever. But again, I'd like it to be my

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Speaker 1: last name. And as far as everyone knows at school,

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Speaker 1: I have the same last name as my child, right,

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Speaker 1: but the doctors and the health insurance companies and the

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Speaker 1: airlines know that. I would be interested to see if

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Speaker 1: if there is a situation where like maybe in your

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Speaker 1: situation and you really wanted Rocco to take your last name,

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Speaker 1: Like where if in the judicial system, if judges are

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Speaker 1: just very traditional to and like, no, that's just not happened.

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Speaker 1: That's not what we do. But with the change of times,

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Speaker 1: maybe there is a judge that you can make a

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Speaker 1: point for your child to have take the mother's maiden name,

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Speaker 1: which would be really weird. Why because it hasn't been done.

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Speaker 1: That's the only reason it hasn't been done. Okay, maybe

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Speaker 1: have not been done, but I'm not I'm just saying

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Speaker 1: it feels weird because it hasn't been done yet I'm

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Speaker 1: sure it will. So I'm a total chicken when it

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Speaker 1: comes to being home alone, which is why I'm so

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Speaker 1: happy that I finally sponsored up with a d T.

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Speaker 1: But what I love and why I feel safe in

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Speaker 1: my house now is because I have a d T.

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Speaker 1: So a t T can design and install a smart

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Speaker 1: home just for you. It's back by seven protection. And

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Speaker 1: for me that's huge because when my husband's gone and

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Speaker 1: I'm home alone, it's just me and my little girl,

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Speaker 1: and I want to make sure that we are safe

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Speaker 1: and obviously soon to be another boy or as soon

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Speaker 1: to be a boy on the way, so I just

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Speaker 1: want to make sure that our house is protected, we

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Speaker 1: are protected, and that I can sleep for the night

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Speaker 1: and knowing everything is good and even when I'm not home,

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Speaker 1: so if I forget to close the garage door or

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Speaker 1: if I forget to lock the doors, things like that,

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Speaker 1: or the thermostat. Those are also things that you can

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Speaker 1: set up customization wise with a d T, which is fantastic.

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Speaker 1: So a d T will set up your home with

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Speaker 1: multiple smart home devices again, which is so so so great.

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Speaker 1: So visit a DT dot com slash smart to learn

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Speaker 1: more about how a d T can design and install

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Speaker 1: a secure smart home just for you feel safe, just

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Speaker 1: like I do. Well, you know what, I'm really excited

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Speaker 1: because we have Samantha Harrison Studio. Hello. Hello, Hello, this

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Speaker 1: is the most fun room ever. That's why it took

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Speaker 1: me to write a freaking book to come on. And

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Speaker 1: I was it was so funny because you instagram me

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Speaker 1: said you're excited to meet me, and sometimes I don't

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Speaker 1: know if it's someone else to know you have the

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Speaker 1: check mark. But then I wrote you back and I

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Speaker 1: was like, I'm so excited to meet you too, but no,

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Speaker 1: I'm very genuinely like I I've loved you forever. I

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Speaker 1: think you're an incredible host. What you do is fantastic.

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Speaker 1: You're beautiful. You're so sweet and I'm just I was

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Speaker 1: pumped to have you in studio. Well, I'm excited to

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Speaker 1: be here. Congratulations on your second baby. So gorgeous. I mean, seriously,

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Speaker 1: like the most beautiful pregnant girl. Never I hate her

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Speaker 1: just a little bit. No, guys, tell me a little

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Speaker 1: bit more. Um, Okay, I want to get to your book,

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Speaker 1: but I also I want to talk about Can we

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Speaker 1: talk about cancer? We can talk about Yes, that's that

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Speaker 1: was the impetus for the book. So yes, how did

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Speaker 1: you find out? So I was about to turn forty,

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Speaker 1: more fit and healthier than I ever had been at

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Speaker 1: the time, or so I thought. And I thought, you know,

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Speaker 1: when you turn forty supposed to get a jump on

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Speaker 1: that mammogram things. So let's, you know, set it up.

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Speaker 1: They're staying thirty five now though, right, you know there

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Speaker 1: everything changes because really it comes down sadly to your

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Speaker 1: insurance and and there might be recommendations out there, but

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Speaker 1: it comes down to your doctor and your insurance. So

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Speaker 1: that's a topic for another day. But in my mind,

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Speaker 1: it was forty set the baseline. I'm healthy. Let's get

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Speaker 1: it while I'm healthy, right, And this is how many

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Speaker 1: years ago. This was and a half years ago, forty

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Speaker 1: later this year, and I'm very happy for every new

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Speaker 1: year that I get to churn um and you know,

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Speaker 1: and I set the baseline because my grandmother was a

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Speaker 1: thirty year survivor post menopausal breast cancer, which has no

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Speaker 1: connection to mine. My dad died of colin cancer at

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Speaker 1: fifty um, and so cancer had been in my family.

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Speaker 1: And I thought, I've got three and a six year

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Speaker 1: old at home. Hey, let's let's do this. Had a

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Speaker 1: clear mammogram. It's exactly what I thought it would be clear.

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Speaker 1: Eleven days later, while I was changing after a workout class,

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Speaker 1: I found a lump on the interior of my right

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Speaker 1: breast And how did you or just kind of like

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Speaker 1: one of those because I don't ever feel my boy,

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Speaker 1: you don't don't either, all right, this is my if

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Speaker 1: you take every now and then, yeah, Michael, really, Michael,

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Speaker 1: sometimes it's about the men in your life. I can

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Speaker 1: take that a lot of pressure on you and feeling

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Speaker 1: them right now. Actually, okay, well look I think I think,

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Speaker 1: you know, breastfeeding really helped me become comfortable with touching

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Speaker 1: my bro and um, not just in the intimacy of

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Speaker 1: my relationship. But you know, really, when you guys take

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Speaker 1: off your bra after a long day, you aren't like

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Speaker 1: a circle to the right circle to love. Move these

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Speaker 1: things around like now I just get into bed and

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Speaker 1: pass out. I mean, all right, well if you don't,

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Speaker 1: my public service announcement is get in touch with your girls.

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Speaker 1: Don't be afraid to fondle, feel touch. You need to

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Speaker 1: know your body, not just your breast, but every part

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Speaker 1: of it better than anyone else. And you can't rely

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Speaker 1: on doctors to know your body because guess what, they

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Speaker 1: see a lot of patients. So but okay, so anyways,

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Speaker 1: you were taking your sports bra off. You found a

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Speaker 1: lump in your right your right breas. Yeah. You know,

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Speaker 1: I've been so compressed with the compression of a sports

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Speaker 1: bra that I was like, oh, let's move these around.

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Speaker 1: What the wait a second, what is that? Well, that's weird.

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Speaker 1: That has not been there before. You just had a

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Speaker 1: clear eleven days prior, had a clear mammogram. So you know,

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Speaker 1: I figured, you know what, I'm going to be vigilant.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna call my O be with ju I n

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Speaker 1: she you know, she's been touching my boobs since I

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Speaker 1: was in my early twenties. Let's let's get her on this.

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Speaker 1: She felt around and quick clinical exam said, honey, I'm

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Speaker 1: not worried about it. She's really always been a non alarmist.

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Speaker 1: She delivered both my kids, and I trusted my O. B. G.

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Speaker 1: Y and more than any other doctor that I've ever had,

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Speaker 1: because I don't want to go there. It's not I mean,

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Speaker 1: well I know. So I left her soon after that

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Speaker 1: um and she sent me on my way. And then

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Speaker 1: a month later, that same lump was there, and I thought,

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Speaker 1: you know, I better get a second opinion, so I

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Speaker 1: went to this is my mistake. I went to see

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Speaker 1: my intern is now you you need to go to

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Speaker 1: the doctor. In turnus are kind of they're more there.

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Speaker 1: No no, no no. An internet is your general practitioner, right,

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Speaker 1: your your main your main doc when you have a cold,

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Speaker 1: when you need to go for your annual well check up.

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Speaker 1: So I went to see him and he did the

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Speaker 1: same thing, quick, feel around, looks good if your word,

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Speaker 1: will keep an eye on it, sent me on my way,

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Speaker 1: and four months later and it was four months later

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Speaker 1: only on top of it, well, you know it's creal

423
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:48,960
Speaker 1: when you get especially as a as a Mom, you're

424
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,440
Speaker 1: juggling so much, and so for me, the reason I

425
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,119
Speaker 1: jumped from two months to four months before I finally

426
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:57,159
Speaker 1: went to see a surgical oncologist was because it was

427
00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:00,320
Speaker 1: the holidays and it was birth, youngest, third birth that like,

428
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,560
Speaker 1: it was just so much was going on. You forget

429
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:04,439
Speaker 1: you put yourself at the lowest end of the totem

430
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:07,520
Speaker 1: pole and our health. If we're not taking care of

431
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:09,560
Speaker 1: our own health, we're not going to be around to

432
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,320
Speaker 1: take care of those we are meant to take care of.

433
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:14,199
Speaker 1: So self care, which is a really big part of

434
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:15,720
Speaker 1: my book, Your Healthiest Healthy, And I know we're going

435
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:17,320
Speaker 1: to talk about the book in a little bit, but

436
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:21,040
Speaker 1: self care is so essential and I think that sometimes

437
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:26,440
Speaker 1: we feel as women guilty to care for ourselves. Um,

438
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:28,200
Speaker 1: but I so you went. So I went to see

439
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:31,439
Speaker 1: a surgical oncologist. I saw um, both her and one

440
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:34,679
Speaker 1: of her partners. I had to ultrasounds, a needle biopsy

441
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,360
Speaker 1: than a subsequent m r I. And the crazy thing

442
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:43,080
Speaker 1: was that nothing detected cants? What what? And that is

443
00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:45,200
Speaker 1: a story that I keep hearing as I tell mine,

444
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,479
Speaker 1: more and more women say that happened to me too.

445
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:51,040
Speaker 1: So then how did you find well, thankfully, because of

446
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:53,560
Speaker 1: the needle biopsy, it came back. She walked in the

447
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:55,119
Speaker 1: room and said, okay, have the results of the new

448
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,760
Speaker 1: needle biopsy. The pathology said good news and bad news.

449
00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:59,639
Speaker 1: The good news is it's not cancer, but it was.

450
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:02,080
Speaker 1: The bad news is I don't know what it is,

451
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:04,200
Speaker 1: so you know what, it's a collection of irregular cells.

452
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:06,360
Speaker 1: Let's just take it out. So I had a lumpecto

453
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:08,760
Speaker 1: me and and this is where you really do want

454
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:11,280
Speaker 1: to go to a doctor m who you feel is

455
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:13,760
Speaker 1: a really really good in their field and someone who's

456
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 1: done this time and time and time again. And she

457
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,040
Speaker 1: looks at breast every day. She knows what she's looking for.

458
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:21,440
Speaker 1: And when she was in there for the surgery, she

459
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:23,800
Speaker 1: ended up taking out which she at the time thought

460
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:25,679
Speaker 1: looked like a little bit of extra healthy tissue, but

461
00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:28,000
Speaker 1: she just wanted to sample it. So not only do

462
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:30,199
Speaker 1: we find that I had ductal car sonoma in sight too,

463
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 1: which is me breast cancer that is contained within the

464
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:35,640
Speaker 1: milk duct and thankfully not smart enough to get out

465
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:38,360
Speaker 1: of it. So it had been that, and only that

466
00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:40,480
Speaker 1: that would have been end a story done. No worries

467
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,040
Speaker 1: like had a lumpectomy, go on about my life. But

468
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:46,919
Speaker 1: that little tissue sample she took was invasive, which went

469
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:49,520
Speaker 1: to got smart. It got out of the doctor pat's

470
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,080
Speaker 1: read and they said, oh, we caught it so early,

471
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,440
Speaker 1: had a double mess. Back to me, actually had gone

472
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:55,000
Speaker 1: to a lymph node. So all of a sudden, my

473
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:58,439
Speaker 1: stage one early caught it when stage two. So the

474
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,960
Speaker 1: bottom line here is you have to be an advocate

475
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:02,879
Speaker 1: for your own health. You have to take care of yourself.

476
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,080
Speaker 1: Well that's so hard though when you have three doctors

477
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 1: essentially been like, no, nothing's wrong, You're fine. Just a lump,

478
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 1: just a lump, right. Well, and again, thankfully the surgical

479
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,840
Speaker 1: on collegist, who is the specialist in the field at

480
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:17,240
Speaker 1: least listen to her own gut as a specialist, and

481
00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:19,200
Speaker 1: she says, she saved you. I saved my life by

482
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 1: getting to her, and she saved my life by going

483
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:25,399
Speaker 1: in and sampling something that she thought wasn't necessarily dangerous. UM.

484
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:27,440
Speaker 1: And then I waited, you know, do I want another

485
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 1: lumpectomy with radiation for six weeks or do I want

486
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:33,040
Speaker 1: to have a double single or double mess decktomy? And

487
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 1: it is such a personal decision. Um, anyone out there

488
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,800
Speaker 1: who's living with a new, you know, new diagnosis of

489
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,760
Speaker 1: breast cancer, you really have to learn all you can,

490
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 1: weigh all of your options and figure out what is

491
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:46,000
Speaker 1: best for you and for me. I don't want to

492
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,480
Speaker 1: be looking over my shoulder every day, so I wanted

493
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,160
Speaker 1: a double mess deck to me my breast. Thank goodness,

494
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,040
Speaker 1: we're able to take me through my twenties with enjoyment,

495
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 1: feed my kids and give them the nutrition through breastfeeding

496
00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,720
Speaker 1: that they needed. And they did the job they did

497
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:04,040
Speaker 1: and I needed to do. And um, did you end

498
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:07,639
Speaker 1: up getting? And I had reconstruction? Reconstruction? Did um? And

499
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,639
Speaker 1: you know they're pros and cons about that as well,

500
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 1: but um, you know everything looks great and clothes, so

501
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:15,960
Speaker 1: there you go. Is that something else did you I'm

502
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:17,800
Speaker 1: not going to make it any time soon, No, but

503
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:19,720
Speaker 1: it was something where I mean, hopefully your husband made

504
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:22,359
Speaker 1: you feel beautiful? Yes, yes, and you know, and that

505
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 1: was even something that was you know, challenging, and I

506
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:28,320
Speaker 1: actually I go into it in the book about the

507
00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:33,200
Speaker 1: intimacy and how a surgery like that changes you and

508
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 1: and as a woman, I had to come to terms

509
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,920
Speaker 1: with my breast or not my womanhood, did you start

510
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,679
Speaker 1: to feel like you weren't a woman. It affected my

511
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:45,560
Speaker 1: psyche with my sexuality for a while, and my husband

512
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,440
Speaker 1: probably didn't start fondling them again for a good year,

513
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,879
Speaker 1: mostly because he was worried he was going to hurt me.

514
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:54,240
Speaker 1: I mean it was I was blooded and bandage and

515
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 1: bruised for a very long time, and I had the

516
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:58,879
Speaker 1: mistake to me with the first stage of reconstruction, and

517
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,000
Speaker 1: then three months later I had the second stage of

518
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:03,359
Speaker 1: reconstruction where they take out the sizers and then they

519
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:06,639
Speaker 1: put in the permanent implants, which meant I was, you know, bedridden,

520
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:10,080
Speaker 1: um for three weeks without getting both surgeries, without being

521
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 1: able to get out except for to use the restroom

522
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:14,840
Speaker 1: and um, you know, and then for six weeks each

523
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:16,840
Speaker 1: surgery you had to really take it easy and not

524
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,000
Speaker 1: lift your arms up above your head or anything. So,

525
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:20,919
Speaker 1: you know, it took a lot of time, and he

526
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:24,480
Speaker 1: was so incredibly caring and everything you would hope a

527
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:28,399
Speaker 1: partner would be throughout the process. But it definitely messes

528
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:31,840
Speaker 1: with your your psyche regarding your sexuality and and I'm

529
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 1: grateful for um that you know what we honestly we found.

530
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:40,840
Speaker 1: We found ways to be physical that were new, and

531
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 1: in some ways it was sort of a gift because

532
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 1: you have to explore things that maybe you didn't realize.

533
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:47,639
Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, let's explore lots of things that we

534
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:52,679
Speaker 1: can explore. It worked out, I guess. Uh so it was.

535
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,960
Speaker 1: It was definitely an eye opener um for sure. Wow.

536
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,000
Speaker 1: And so that's what encouraged you to write your book.

537
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 1: Not the sexuality is not healthy? So you know, here

538
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:05,040
Speaker 1: I was, I thought it was so healthy, and I

539
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 1: was blindsided by a breast cancer diagnosis. And uh, you know,

540
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 1: even though I was blindsided, the diagnosis didn't devour me. Instead,

541
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 1: it really ignited in me. This this compelled me to

542
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:19,880
Speaker 1: want to become the healthiest version of myself. And then

543
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:23,199
Speaker 1: once I started to gather the information, it was so

544
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:24,639
Speaker 1: eye opening. And then I want to be able to

545
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,120
Speaker 1: share it with others because your Healthiest Healthy is really

546
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 1: the guide that I wish someone so much had given

547
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,440
Speaker 1: me when I had been diagnosed, or ideally before I've

548
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,679
Speaker 1: been diagnosed, because maybe I wouldn't have been diagnosed. So

549
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:36,879
Speaker 1: what's the what's the what's the key points and of

550
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:40,159
Speaker 1: your Healthiest Healthy for your book? So first, all changes

551
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:43,560
Speaker 1: in small steps, because it can be very overwhelming to

552
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,760
Speaker 1: make any changes in your daily life, whether it's with

553
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:49,480
Speaker 1: your diet or with your your friendships. Because there this

554
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:51,399
Speaker 1: is about very much of getting the toxins out of

555
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 1: your life. And it's not just food, it's it's correct right.

556
00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:56,400
Speaker 1: So it's it's um it's eight chapters, and it's eight

557
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 1: easy ways to take control help prevent and fight cancer

558
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 1: and of a longer, cleaner, happier life. And the steps

559
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:06,000
Speaker 1: that you make to ideally prevent cancer are the same

560
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:09,920
Speaker 1: changes in your life that also help to mitigate your

561
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,480
Speaker 1: your chances of heart disease and type to diabetes and

562
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:16,000
Speaker 1: obesity that leads to so many other autoimmune disorders. So

563
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 1: what I found when I leaned into my journals and

564
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:22,240
Speaker 1: background was that researching and speaking to experts and reading

565
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:24,399
Speaker 1: everything I could get my hands on, it became so

566
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 1: clear to me that it's what you put in on

567
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:30,000
Speaker 1: and around your body and around meaning not just the

568
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:33,920
Speaker 1: cleaning products, but the people. So this so the book

569
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 1: is really that guide taking you through you know, how

570
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 1: should we eat, How how do we should we approach exercise?

571
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:41,320
Speaker 1: How do we get the toxins out of our beauty? Bag.

572
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 1: I mean, we're all, you know, lovely ladies here who

573
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 1: slap it on every day with the makeup and the

574
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:48,120
Speaker 1: eyes and the thing. Right, Um, so how do we

575
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 1: get the top at least minimize the amount of toxins

576
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 1: that are in our lives? Um? My kids are you know?

577
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:54,960
Speaker 1: They still crawl around on the frigum Like you're a

578
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:56,400
Speaker 1: live and you don't need to be crawling on the floor.

579
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 1: She's still crawling on the floor. So I want my

580
00:28:58,200 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 1: floors to be clean with things that aren't going to

581
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:02,800
Speaker 1: endanger her or my you know, or my other daughter

582
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 1: who's crazy. She's been more off boncing off the walls,

583
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:06,520
Speaker 1: so I guess I have to clean the walls to.

584
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:10,200
Speaker 1: How do you feel about dryer sheets? Uh, don't use

585
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:11,920
Speaker 1: them like like I used to. Those are one of

586
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:14,240
Speaker 1: those are one of the I know, and I do.

587
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 1: I do miss three of them. So there are there

588
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,280
Speaker 1: are the good things. There are alternatives I know I

589
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:24,120
Speaker 1: did like there there are parts. There are things in

590
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 1: my old life that I sometimes when I think, I

591
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 1: haven't thought about dryer sheets in a while, but I

592
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:31,480
Speaker 1: do miss that fresh out of the dryer smell. I

593
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:34,800
Speaker 1: guess what gives it that smell fragrance, and what's in fragrance, Well,

594
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 1: guess what. They don't have to tell us because it's protected.

595
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 1: So all of the toxins that are going in to

596
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:43,720
Speaker 1: make that lovely smell, they don't have to The people

597
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 1: manufacturers don't have to reveal that even if they put

598
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 1: the ingredients list on fragrance like cologne, perfume, essential oils

599
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:51,840
Speaker 1: are a much safer way to go for your body.

600
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 1: But isn't it isn't like this isn't something always is

601
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:57,120
Speaker 1: going to cause this always, and we can all throw

602
00:29:57,200 --> 00:29:59,040
Speaker 1: up our hands and go, you know what, someone's gonna

603
00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 1: get me. And that's in that's the way that you

604
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:04,240
Speaker 1: choose to take control of your life. That's okay. I

605
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:08,480
Speaker 1: want to give people an opportunity to understand. Once you

606
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:11,840
Speaker 1: to understand what is out there, and it is eye

607
00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:15,240
Speaker 1: opening and sometimes it's a little scary, because obviously that's

608
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:18,680
Speaker 1: the reason they say ignorance is bliss. But at least

609
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 1: once you know, then you can say, okay, I can

610
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:25,360
Speaker 1: deal with parting with red meat, or I can make

611
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 1: sure to minimize it and choose grass fed instead. Um

612
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:32,440
Speaker 1: I can their makeup. I have not still not found

613
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 1: a great waterproof makeup that is toxin free. So I

614
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 1: still use the drug store brands that I love, but

615
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:40,600
Speaker 1: I know that the rest of my entire makeup routine

616
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 1: is clean. So so you find that balance and what

617
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 1: works for you. But if you don't have the knowledge,

618
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,240
Speaker 1: then you can't make those changes. Doesn't that stress you

619
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 1: out more? Though? Like I start to think about it,

620
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 1: and like, I feel like we're talking about sexually, Julie.

621
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:55,320
Speaker 1: Remember our girlfriend we were talking about deodorant and I

622
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 1: was like, I don't want to wear like I like

623
00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:01,200
Speaker 1: secret because I saw a lot and then I stink

624
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:02,960
Speaker 1: and they're like, well get they like call me up.

625
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 1: I'm like, but then that smell, then you stink. How

626
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 1: do you feel about what was going to be? I

627
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 1: use a La Vanilla now, which is a clean one

628
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 1: because my whole thing is like okay, but what's more

629
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:21,560
Speaker 1: annoying breast cancer are stinking rights? Then needs say like everything.

630
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 1: People are like, oh, everything causes like this or that

631
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:25,960
Speaker 1: or whatever, and it's like then it's like you're more

632
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,920
Speaker 1: stressful to try to cut everything out. To me, I

633
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:31,280
Speaker 1: feel like I feel like change comes from action, not thought.

634
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 1: So even if we're thinking, okay, well, everything can cause cancer. Okay,

635
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:36,440
Speaker 1: so what am I going to do about that? Am

636
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:38,000
Speaker 1: I just going to be like, okay, well, I'm just

637
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,400
Speaker 1: not gonna do anything and cancer them come get me?

638
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:43,959
Speaker 1: Or am I going to take action to with as

639
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:49,120
Speaker 1: much as I can without overwhelming with myself, without overstressing myself,

640
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:51,920
Speaker 1: without putting myself in this glass castle where no one

641
00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:53,840
Speaker 1: can touch me like there. I think there has to

642
00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:56,880
Speaker 1: be a healthy balance and moderation of like what can

643
00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 1: I do? That's simple, just a little pivots, little especially

644
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:01,920
Speaker 1: something you're putting on your body, because it goes right

645
00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:05,880
Speaker 1: right there, right and and that's actually with your healthiest healthy.

646
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 1: That was one of the first things that I changed

647
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 1: was my deodoran because um, I use one called Crystal Essence.

648
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 1: There's also one called stink Stop. Um there, here's the deal.

649
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 1: Your body. Your body needs to sweat. And I am

650
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:23,000
Speaker 1: a so I am a and I stink. Well, you

651
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:24,560
Speaker 1: don't have to stink, but you do. You do have

652
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:26,880
Speaker 1: to sweat because guess what your body needs you to

653
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 1: sweat and by clogging up your like and I hate sweating,

654
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:32,640
Speaker 1: and I am like literally turning on it's like turning

655
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:36,720
Speaker 1: the thing like I will like, I will vomit like,

656
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 1: so you don't just smell but do. But here here's why,

657
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:41,520
Speaker 1: because I think about it. If you're I mean, you

658
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,959
Speaker 1: don't really just isolate right now, the idea of deodorant.

659
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:48,840
Speaker 1: When you're stopping the sweating, you're hanging on to all

660
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:50,280
Speaker 1: the toxins that are in your body. Your body is

661
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:53,000
Speaker 1: not able to let it out. So why does it

662
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:55,560
Speaker 1: cause breast cancer? Well, it may or may not. That

663
00:32:55,720 --> 00:33:00,240
Speaker 1: the various studies negated, other studies supported it could be,

664
00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:03,240
Speaker 1: though not necessarily, that the chemical the aluminium which is

665
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:05,920
Speaker 1: what people which is what stops the sweat, and people

666
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 1: for a long time thought, well it's the aluminum that

667
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:10,280
Speaker 1: is keeping people from sweating, and then and then that's

668
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:12,760
Speaker 1: what's getting into the ducks and causing the breast cancer.

669
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:15,400
Speaker 1: There there hasn't been proof about that. Actually I talked

670
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:17,440
Speaker 1: about in the book that that's what it is. But

671
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,520
Speaker 1: what I'm also starting to understand is it could be

672
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:21,960
Speaker 1: that it's stopping your body from sweating, which is a lot,

673
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 1: you know, disallowing the the toxins from exiting your your

674
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:27,720
Speaker 1: body as I need something else that you know, that's it.

675
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 1: First all, it's a really easy swap. You won't smell,

676
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:32,160
Speaker 1: you will sweat, um, but the other things even in

677
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:34,440
Speaker 1: your bag, and just apply it like I apply the

678
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:37,480
Speaker 1: videodorant that I use twice a day. Right, perfect, It's

679
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:42,680
Speaker 1: easy and I think it's vanilla. It's not not promoted

680
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:45,600
Speaker 1: by them or but they have you know, it's It's

681
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:48,239
Speaker 1: just clean and easy and well here's an easy one

682
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,960
Speaker 1: for you to make a switch. Totally easy. Um, since

683
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 1: we're talking about breat we might as well talk about

684
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:57,640
Speaker 1: vaginas you happy about. This is good topics, alright. Um,

685
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:03,040
Speaker 1: so tampons, tampons add your your lady bits. The skin

686
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 1: there is so thin that it's incredibly permeable. So if

687
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:10,200
Speaker 1: what you're putting in and you know near and up

688
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:13,560
Speaker 1: it are have toxins in them. We talked about low

689
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:17,319
Speaker 1: Lola on the show. Do you love the product? And

690
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,879
Speaker 1: I mean the tons of Rayal is a great brand

691
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:23,799
Speaker 1: natural care? Uh you? Seventh Generation even makes basically want

692
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:28,719
Speaker 1: to look for pure cotton, organic cotton and um and

693
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:30,840
Speaker 1: something I actually discovered two and this is better for

694
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:34,440
Speaker 1: the people who have already had kids. But the menstrual cups,

695
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 1: I can't do that. I can't either that's what I thought,

696
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 1: part time best friend, I'm afraid it's so. It's a

697
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:50,600
Speaker 1: silicone medical grade silicone cup um that you kind of

698
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:52,320
Speaker 1: bend and fold so it's small enough to kind of

699
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:54,680
Speaker 1: get all up in there um and then it collects

700
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 1: your mensies. It's kind of discussing and I look like

701
00:34:57,239 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 1: a Jackson poll spotter painting when I took it out

702
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:05,759
Speaker 1: the first time. Difference between I mean, like a pad.

703
00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:10,200
Speaker 1: If someone wears a padre can't like it's not absorbed

704
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:13,399
Speaker 1: as well as the cup. Let's neat about the cup?

705
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:15,399
Speaker 1: Is that? And again I only use it when I'm

706
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:17,279
Speaker 1: going to be around the house or at night when

707
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:19,440
Speaker 1: there's going to be heavily heavy flow. And you're like,

708
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 1: oh great, you know, no matter what I add for

709
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:22,920
Speaker 1: pads or whatever, I want to sleep in a tampon.

710
00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 1: That's not good. So it's it's helpful for just excess

711
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:30,560
Speaker 1: flow um. But also it's nice because it costs nothing

712
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 1: off do you buy it, there's no upkeep sides, wash

713
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:35,279
Speaker 1: and reuse. Make sure you wash it really well and

714
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:38,760
Speaker 1: really hot water so be preferable, so be non toxic.

715
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:42,839
Speaker 1: Just all right, I got real, you know, we got

716
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:45,799
Speaker 1: really personal we don't really deep into like the part

717
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:48,279
Speaker 1: of your health. It's part of our bodies. I mean, yeah,

718
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:50,440
Speaker 1: it's true. And then for eating organic too, I mean,

719
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 1: I know I try to have organic stuff in the house,

720
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,360
Speaker 1: but I've also been told that some organic stuff is

721
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:58,440
Speaker 1: bad too for kids. Well, if you're talking about a

722
00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:00,960
Speaker 1: packaged good that says or annic, now you you have

723
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:03,360
Speaker 1: to read the label. And I break down in the

724
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:06,000
Speaker 1: book all about how to read a label and what's important,

725
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:07,600
Speaker 1: because I think a lot of people look at an

726
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:10,240
Speaker 1: ingredients label for food and they look at the calories

727
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 1: and the fat, maybe the sodium, the doctor said, they

728
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 1: go to watch that, um, but there's so much more

729
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:17,759
Speaker 1: to understand, Like and I'm sure you know a lot

730
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:19,920
Speaker 1: of people in this room know this, but maybe some

731
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 1: some people don't that you know, the ingredients when they're listed,

732
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 1: are listed from the most used ingredient to the least

733
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 1: maybe in trace amounts. Right, So sugar is something that

734
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:32,040
Speaker 1: you really want to weed out of your diet as

735
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:35,560
Speaker 1: much as possible, But the manufacturers are very tricky, so

736
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:40,160
Speaker 1: they'll use four or five different things that are sugar, meltodextrin,

737
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:44,400
Speaker 1: su c rows cane, syrup, regular sugar UM. And when

738
00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:46,839
Speaker 1: people are only looking for the word sugar, sugar might

739
00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:49,759
Speaker 1: be the seventeen thing on the list, but the other

740
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:53,080
Speaker 1: types of sugars will be the third, and then the seventh,

741
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:55,120
Speaker 1: and then the and so you you have to be

742
00:36:55,239 --> 00:36:57,280
Speaker 1: a little bit more aware. You can be more aware

743
00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:59,720
Speaker 1: once you have the knowledge. But the question about organics,

744
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:02,560
Speaker 1: where it's really important is with your produce. So when

745
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:06,319
Speaker 1: you're buying fruits and vegetables um, And obviously some people say, well,

746
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:09,560
Speaker 1: but the organic fruit vegetables are just so darn expensive.

747
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:17,239
Speaker 1: There's a great list of its cancer UM. But but

748
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:20,439
Speaker 1: there's a website called Environmental Working Group. Do you guys

749
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:22,600
Speaker 1: know about the site. It's a great site. It's e

750
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:24,920
Speaker 1: w G dot org. I have no affiliation with them

751
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:27,520
Speaker 1: other than they are like my go to when I

752
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 1: want to find out about chemicals that are in different

753
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:32,200
Speaker 1: beauty products or cleaning products. But also they put out

754
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:37,959
Speaker 1: a list every year of the most heavily um pesticide

755
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:41,800
Speaker 1: used vegetables and fruits. And they call one list the

756
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:44,279
Speaker 1: dirty dozen and the other the clean fifteen. And so

757
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:46,480
Speaker 1: basically they have a list all the way from number

758
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:49,239
Speaker 1: one to maybe a hundred, but the bottom fifteen are

759
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:53,319
Speaker 1: the cleanest. So if you shop with that list and say, okay,

760
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:57,799
Speaker 1: the dirty doesn't apples, strawberries, grapes, the list goes on, okay,

761
00:37:57,880 --> 00:37:59,440
Speaker 1: those are the things then you want to spend your

762
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:02,400
Speaker 1: money on for organic, and then go, okay, but you

763
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:04,960
Speaker 1: know what, the avocados and the asparagus, I can get that,

764
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:07,279
Speaker 1: but tomatoes, make sure I get them organic. So you

765
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:09,880
Speaker 1: have that knowledge of which ones need to be. So

766
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,239
Speaker 1: same with your pasta sauces and your ketchups. For your kids,

767
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 1: I mean they catch up on everything and meat, mostly

768
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:22,719
Speaker 1: organic everything. I always do meet organic, I D and

769
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 1: ten percent. And you know, thankfully for those who live

770
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 1: in cities with a Costco or even a Target, both

771
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:32,120
Speaker 1: of those bigger Walmart are starting to carry more and

772
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:34,640
Speaker 1: more organic goods. So I have a smoothie every morning,

773
00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:36,480
Speaker 1: and so does my husband, and actually know the kids

774
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:39,319
Speaker 1: are more. It's really exciting. But we buy these humongous

775
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:43,000
Speaker 1: bags of frozen organic strawberries and blueberries and whatever else,

776
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:46,440
Speaker 1: and we use them every day and it's fantastic, and

777
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:49,200
Speaker 1: so that's a much better price than it used to be.

778
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:52,400
Speaker 1: So where can our listeners find your book, Your Healthiest Healthy.

779
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:56,880
Speaker 1: They can order it starting now on Amazon, Barnes and

780
00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 1: Noble and really anywhere that books are sold. Amazing. So man,

781
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:02,799
Speaker 1: the Harris Your Healthiest Healthy. Um, I'm We're so glad

782
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:05,000
Speaker 1: that you are a cancer free and you're living your

783
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:08,480
Speaker 1: healthiest healthy. Thank you so much for coming in. Thank you. Know,

784
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:11,360
Speaker 1: we talked about about communicating through Instagram, and I'm just

785
00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:13,399
Speaker 1: starting to use Instagram more and more and I put

786
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:16,560
Speaker 1: a lot of tips also on my site on my Instagram.

787
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:21,160
Speaker 1: What's your Instagram handle at? Samantha Harris is TV TV. Okay, awesome.

788
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:27,520
Speaker 1: I couldn't get the ray itself. She's she's so sweet,

789
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:29,480
Speaker 1: She's so vibrant and so full of life, which I

790
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:32,440
Speaker 1: absolutely love. But that's so scary to hear that she

791
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:35,800
Speaker 1: went that many times and still that's terrifying to like,

792
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:38,560
Speaker 1: how do you trust doctors? Like nothing against some, but

793
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:40,319
Speaker 1: it's like when you take your kids to the doctor.

794
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:44,520
Speaker 1: Now it's like, okay, you trust your doctor, Yeah, trust

795
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:46,800
Speaker 1: your gut. You have to trust your gut, yeah, I

796
00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:48,719
Speaker 1: mean absolutely, But I mean even like when I went

797
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,000
Speaker 1: in this is not even close to the same example,

798
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:52,600
Speaker 1: but what when I went in from my hernia check.

799
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,759
Speaker 1: I went in and saw just the regular um it

800
00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:57,600
Speaker 1: was like the nurse practitioner and she's like, oh, no,

801
00:39:57,719 --> 00:40:00,080
Speaker 1: it's nothing, it's just the pressure from whatever. And then

802
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:01,279
Speaker 1: I go to the next doctors like, oh, that's a

803
00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:04,800
Speaker 1: hernia and I'm like, well, why why where's the like

804
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:07,000
Speaker 1: why is not the same? Why didn't she say that?

805
00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:09,799
Speaker 1: Because if not, I wouldn't have known and then had

806
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:12,279
Speaker 1: someone else But you knew something was off, Like you

807
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:14,080
Speaker 1: knew it, and you're a guy, like right, but I

808
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:16,120
Speaker 1: could have But anyone could just listen to someone else

809
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:19,040
Speaker 1: and be like, oh the doctor said, you know, I mean,

810
00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:21,480
Speaker 1: they don't go again, because that's why most people because

811
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:23,400
Speaker 1: if you go again, then you're the crazy person for

812
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 1: thinking that something's like your hyper hydra, you're a hYP

813
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 1: you're paranoid. Yeah, the doctor said, nothing's wrong with you

814
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:30,640
Speaker 1: don't have a you don't have herney, you don't have

815
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:32,960
Speaker 1: a lump like you know, Like again, my girlfriend Rachel,

816
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:36,520
Speaker 1: she found a lump and she's the doctor said nothing

817
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:39,719
Speaker 1: but that it was just a what's that called a

818
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:42,759
Speaker 1: a lymph node? But again, like who knows? Do you

819
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:45,600
Speaker 1: trust that one or do you go again and ask again,

820
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:47,520
Speaker 1: I think there's something, especially when it comes to like

821
00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:50,040
Speaker 1: lumps on you and stuff like that, I feel like

822
00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:52,680
Speaker 1: the standards should just be you get at least two opinions.

823
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:54,640
Speaker 1: Even if you go to a doctor you trust, it's like,

824
00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:57,399
Speaker 1: let me just go check with somebody else that don't

825
00:40:57,400 --> 00:40:59,400
Speaker 1: even know. When you get good news, you're like, oh

826
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:05,400
Speaker 1: you yeah, I just write it off. I had a

827
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:09,360
Speaker 1: lump under, like in my armpit that I kept feeling

828
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:11,319
Speaker 1: for a couple of weeks, and I was just like, oh,

829
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:14,720
Speaker 1: that's weird, and I mentioned and I didn't think anything

830
00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:16,320
Speaker 1: of it, and then I mentioned it to someone and

831
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:17,560
Speaker 1: they were like, oh my god, you have to go

832
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:20,680
Speaker 1: to the doctor. Immediately. I was like what, Oh my god.

833
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:22,840
Speaker 1: So I went and they were like, oh, it's nothing,

834
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:25,640
Speaker 1: you know, don't worry about it. You're you probably have

835
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:28,600
Speaker 1: something clogged. And it didn't go away. It didn't go away,

836
00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:30,400
Speaker 1: and I was just like, I have to go back.

837
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:32,800
Speaker 1: And I went back and I ended up being nothing,

838
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:35,839
Speaker 1: but it could have been. It could have been something

839
00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:39,239
Speaker 1: really serious. That's just so scary. It's like, yeah, how

840
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:44,279
Speaker 1: do you how do you trust the doctors? Okay, one

841
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 1: of the things that my husband I love right now

842
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:48,919
Speaker 1: is beach Body on Demand. It's fantastic because we both

843
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:51,840
Speaker 1: get to get the greatest workouts. My husband does the

844
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:54,360
Speaker 1: P nine d X and then I love the Brazil

845
00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:57,320
Speaker 1: Butt Lift, and you can do Payo hip Hop Abs,

846
00:41:57,480 --> 00:41:59,920
Speaker 1: three week yoga retreat. There's so many things. So whatever

847
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 1: you're looking for, whether it's from hip hop to yoga

848
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:05,360
Speaker 1: to Penn and X, you can basically pick out whatever

849
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:08,480
Speaker 1: workout exercise regiment that you want that works for you.

850
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:11,719
Speaker 1: So I think that is amazing. So the trainer that

851
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:14,680
Speaker 1: I know Mike uses law is Shanti. So what's great

852
00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:16,800
Speaker 1: about beach Body on Demand two is it doesn't require

853
00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:19,879
Speaker 1: any extra equipment and it's only twenty five minutes a day.

854
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,239
Speaker 1: So when you say you don't have time, I know

855
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:25,920
Speaker 1: you got twenty five minutes. My listeners can try beach

856
00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:29,319
Speaker 1: Body on Demand right now, absolutely free. So what are

857
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:32,080
Speaker 1: you waiting for? Just join over one million people currently

858
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:34,279
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859
00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:37,280
Speaker 1: get a special free trial membership when you text Jana

860
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:40,360
Speaker 1: to thirty thirty thirty, you will get full access to

861
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Speaker 1: this entire platform for free. All the workouts, nutrition information

862
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:50,600
Speaker 1: and support totally free again just text jannat Okay, So

863
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:55,319
Speaker 1: we have kJ del Antonia on the phone. Hello, Hello, hey,

864
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:57,840
Speaker 1: how are you? You're in studio with a bunch of people.

865
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:00,560
Speaker 1: But um we got Gen producer Gen here and then

866
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:06,400
Speaker 1: my husband Michael. Hi, everybody, how are you? I'm great?

867
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:10,600
Speaker 1: Thank you? Um you? So you wrote a book called

868
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:14,399
Speaker 1: How to Be a Happier Parent? Yes, hadn't your mother

869
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:17,279
Speaker 1: of four? I am the mother of four? Were you?

870
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:19,400
Speaker 1: Just like, I'm so unhappy? So I just need to

871
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:25,160
Speaker 1: do something to make me like change your process? Well,

872
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:27,719
Speaker 1: I was at the time I tried to write this

873
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:30,759
Speaker 1: the parenting columns for the New York Times. So I

874
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:34,520
Speaker 1: was interviewing, I was editing, I was reporting on all

875
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:38,399
Speaker 1: things around family, UM and as well I was living

876
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:39,799
Speaker 1: at you know, I had the four young kids who

877
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 1: had a full time job, so did my partner. And

878
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:44,920
Speaker 1: what we were experiencing, which was that we spent more

879
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 1: time running around on behalf of our family than we

880
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:51,000
Speaker 1: did sort of treasuring them and having fun, you know,

881
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:54,400
Speaker 1: if enjoying it was also what I was seeing and

882
00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:56,720
Speaker 1: what I was hearing from the people that I was editing,

883
00:43:57,239 --> 00:44:00,840
Speaker 1: UM and interviewing, just what everybody was really struggling with

884
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:05,239
Speaker 1: sort of um, you know, under joy and overwhelmed. Well,

885
00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:06,920
Speaker 1: I feel like it's hard to because I know I

886
00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:10,040
Speaker 1: I talked to you know, my girlfriends. You know there

887
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:12,520
Speaker 1: it's like this kid has cheer camp, this kid has

888
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:14,920
Speaker 1: soccer this, and it's like you guys are almost like passing.

889
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 1: So it's like, how, well, how do you be happier

890
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:19,080
Speaker 1: when you when you need to do the functions that

891
00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:21,759
Speaker 1: you want to do for your kids. But yet it's

892
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 1: I don't know, like where's what's what's the line for that? Well,

893
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:27,160
Speaker 1: I think we get really caught up in this idea

894
00:44:27,239 --> 00:44:29,560
Speaker 1: that we need to do all the things. Well we

895
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:31,680
Speaker 1: do though, don't we Because I'm like we I want

896
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:33,640
Speaker 1: like I want Jolie to go to soccer and something.

897
00:44:33,719 --> 00:44:35,880
Speaker 1: I want her to do ballet. I want, you know,

898
00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:38,000
Speaker 1: the baby boy coming up to be able to do

899
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:40,640
Speaker 1: his you know, whether he plays hockey or golf or whatever.

900
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:44,000
Speaker 1: So it's like it's not like because what we just

901
00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:50,560
Speaker 1: don't put them in activities, no activities at all? You know,

902
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:54,040
Speaker 1: there there is a balance and one of the things

903
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:57,000
Speaker 1: that's happening right now. If you look like if if

904
00:44:57,040 --> 00:44:58,640
Speaker 1: you have a daughter and dance that you're looking at

905
00:44:58,680 --> 00:45:00,719
Speaker 1: it and going dade I have for doing dance. I

906
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:04,000
Speaker 1: don't remember being it being like this overwhelming. I don't

907
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:07,120
Speaker 1: remember there being so much of it. And objectively, you're

908
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:11,640
Speaker 1: absolutely right. Activities and sports have really gamed up. Um

909
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:15,000
Speaker 1: things are they are more overwhelming than they used to be.

910
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:19,040
Speaker 1: The expectations are higher, the opportunities are are greater, and

911
00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:22,000
Speaker 1: so it's easy to get caught up and feeling like

912
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:24,359
Speaker 1: that's the way that it has to be. Um, there's

913
00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:27,560
Speaker 1: also just sort of more out there. So, you know,

914
00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:29,960
Speaker 1: we want our kids to do it right because it's

915
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,320
Speaker 1: not super fun and I want to take cartooning class

916
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:35,200
Speaker 1: and dance lessons from play hockey and and do all

917
00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:38,680
Speaker 1: the things. But the reality is that our kids, as

918
00:45:38,719 --> 00:45:41,560
Speaker 1: well as we need some space to sort of grow

919
00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:46,120
Speaker 1: and um think and be on our own and sort

920
00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:49,319
Speaker 1: of have some downtime, and we we often really kind

921
00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:51,320
Speaker 1: of fill that up in the name of all the

922
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 1: fun things. So, kJ do you believe in limiting your

923
00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:58,279
Speaker 1: children to an extent where maybe they don't allow them

924
00:45:58,320 --> 00:46:00,960
Speaker 1: to do every single activity where maybe one year they

925
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 1: have to supplement one that they want to do and

926
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 1: give up another for a year to test it out.

927
00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:09,359
Speaker 1: Is that something that you're kind of you know, suggesting. Yeah,

928
00:46:09,520 --> 00:46:11,439
Speaker 1: my kids kind of get a little self limited because

929
00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:13,320
Speaker 1: there are four of them, um, and there's you know,

930
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:16,440
Speaker 1: there's only two of us. There's only so much that

931
00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:19,920
Speaker 1: that they can do. And we really um as they

932
00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:22,560
Speaker 1: get older, especially, we talked to them about it. If

933
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 1: my kid comes home and says, you know, I really

934
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:28,120
Speaker 1: I want to play baseball and do soccer at this spring,

935
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:31,480
Speaker 1: I will say yeah. And you also, you know, like

936
00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:33,080
Speaker 1: to have a day of a week when you can

937
00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:35,000
Speaker 1: have a friend over after school or you can go

938
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 1: to that trend. If you do both of those things,

939
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:41,360
Speaker 1: you're gonna lose time. Um. And we try to balance

940
00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:44,320
Speaker 1: I mean do I do? I say no, absolutely, but

941
00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:46,759
Speaker 1: I also try to work with them to strike a

942
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:49,279
Speaker 1: good balance. So do you think just time management then

943
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:51,120
Speaker 1: is one of the biggest things to be a happier

944
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:56,200
Speaker 1: parents parents? Yeah, and and time management, but also being

945
00:46:56,239 --> 00:46:58,000
Speaker 1: aware that you don't need to manage all the time.

946
00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:03,360
Speaker 1: Let's leave some of it empty. But I just I

947
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:06,959
Speaker 1: wanted to talking about being a happier parent. I woke

948
00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:10,080
Speaker 1: up about eight times last night because my six year

949
00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:12,360
Speaker 1: old sleeps in bed with me, and he was like

950
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:15,440
Speaker 1: suffocating me. He was a hundred degrees. It was like

951
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:17,800
Speaker 1: I was so high, and would you like him sleeping

952
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:20,399
Speaker 1: in bed? Well, to me, I feel like, again I'm

953
00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:23,480
Speaker 1: not shaming like co sleeping, but that's something Michael and

954
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:25,640
Speaker 1: I could never do. Okay, so it does not work

955
00:47:25,680 --> 00:47:29,600
Speaker 1: for us. After last night, I almost went and slept

956
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 1: in his bed, and I was like, I have to do.

957
00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:36,200
Speaker 1: Something has to change. What is your best advice to

958
00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:40,680
Speaker 1: parents who co slept and now it's time, it's time

959
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:44,360
Speaker 1: to move them into their own room. Well, that is

960
00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:48,000
Speaker 1: definitely going to be a gradual process, right, and maybe

961
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:50,320
Speaker 1: because he's probably so attached now to you and that

962
00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:54,719
Speaker 1: you know that situation, Yeah, maybe you're right, but going

963
00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:57,960
Speaker 1: to sleep in his you know, maybe you start the

964
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:03,040
Speaker 1: night off in his bead, m yourself out gradually. Maybe

965
00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:04,920
Speaker 1: you've got you know, you're like, tonight it's gonna be

966
00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:07,080
Speaker 1: your trial run. You're gonna get in the bed for

967
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:10,560
Speaker 1: half an hour and it's going you, um, you know,

968
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:13,799
Speaker 1: I think you're gonna have to maybe or with him

969
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:16,640
Speaker 1: and talk to him about what you're doing so that

970
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:21,040
Speaker 1: you know he's well excited. It's really that he doesn't

971
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:23,279
Speaker 1: feel like it's a law, you know, it's it's like

972
00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:25,400
Speaker 1: a good thing for you both has to be more

973
00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:30,160
Speaker 1: of an adventure. Yeah. Yeah, And and here I mean sleep.

974
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:33,640
Speaker 1: It's hugely important. You're probably not either of you getting

975
00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:36,839
Speaker 1: your best sleep. And oh wait, I have another great

976
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:40,880
Speaker 1: idea for you. Um, get one of those slow up mattresses.

977
00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:44,200
Speaker 1: This is just totally practical, like the inflatable twin side

978
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:48,320
Speaker 1: had one that actually like it had had at this

979
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:49,920
Speaker 1: and then it sunk down in the middle and then

980
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:52,160
Speaker 1: if we called it, we called it the nest, and

981
00:48:52,239 --> 00:48:55,080
Speaker 1: we kept it under our bed and whenever a child

982
00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:56,640
Speaker 1: needed to come in in the middle of the night,

983
00:48:56,680 --> 00:49:00,960
Speaker 1: they could crawl into the nest. Oh, that's really always there.

984
00:49:01,080 --> 00:49:04,279
Speaker 1: It was always out. I mean this is usually we

985
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:06,719
Speaker 1: still get it out when so you know, if you

986
00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:09,799
Speaker 1: eat it, but then they're not in the bed with us, which,

987
00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:11,960
Speaker 1: like you said, it's hot, and they kick and one

988
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:15,560
Speaker 1: of them's let sleeping with a windmill. So um yeah,

989
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:18,719
Speaker 1: but they're there and they know they're welcome. Right. That's

990
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:21,680
Speaker 1: a great Thank you so much. That's great advice. kJ.

991
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:24,320
Speaker 1: Going back to time management real quick. When you have,

992
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:27,480
Speaker 1: especially a family of four children and you and your husband.

993
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:30,919
Speaker 1: Do you guys feel obligated to be at every event

994
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:33,600
Speaker 1: for your kids or is that something where you know

995
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:37,759
Speaker 1: to kind of keep y'all's relationship healthy, where hey, mom

996
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:39,239
Speaker 1: and dad aren't going to be there for this thing

997
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:41,480
Speaker 1: because we're gonna have some time for ourselves. Is that

998
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:45,640
Speaker 1: something you consider. We can't be at everything because there's

999
00:49:46,160 --> 00:49:48,120
Speaker 1: four of them and only two of us. But they're

1000
00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:50,759
Speaker 1: kind of aware of that, and they're aware that some

1001
00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:51,840
Speaker 1: of the time, you know, we're not going to be

1002
00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:53,080
Speaker 1: the one to drive them. They're going to have to

1003
00:49:53,120 --> 00:49:54,520
Speaker 1: get a card fall, they're going to have to get

1004
00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:56,719
Speaker 1: a different vide. It's just the way that it's going

1005
00:49:56,800 --> 00:49:59,759
Speaker 1: to work for sure. Now going on a more personal

1006
00:49:59,840 --> 00:50:01,640
Speaker 1: love for Jenna and I, what we're gonna we're we're

1007
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:04,440
Speaker 1: about to deal with, you know, we have our two

1008
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:06,480
Speaker 1: and a half year old and we have a son

1009
00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:08,920
Speaker 1: on the way who's doing the end in November. What

1010
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:11,680
Speaker 1: kind of tips or or advice do you have for

1011
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:15,480
Speaker 1: us for really, you know, welcoming helping our daughter welcome

1012
00:50:15,520 --> 00:50:18,960
Speaker 1: the new baby into the house, into her world that

1013
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:23,279
Speaker 1: she's only known with just her mom and dad. Um. Well,

1014
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:25,160
Speaker 1: the biggest tip is to let it be okay that

1015
00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:28,759
Speaker 1: she's not drilled. Um, doesn't have to be thrilled. This

1016
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:30,680
Speaker 1: is you know, this is gonna happen. It's going to

1017
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:33,800
Speaker 1: be a change. Sometimes she can be excited and delighted,

1018
00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:36,399
Speaker 1: and sometimes she can say, uh, you know, I don't

1019
00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:38,880
Speaker 1: want this. I don't want another baby. I hate that baby.

1020
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:43,040
Speaker 1: That's baby ruins everything. UM, and I and that's okay.

1021
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:46,120
Speaker 1: Like the fact that you are okay with her feeling

1022
00:50:46,239 --> 00:50:49,120
Speaker 1: that way, UM, it's gonna make it easier for her.

1023
00:50:49,239 --> 00:50:51,080
Speaker 1: She can have those feelings than they can pass, and

1024
00:50:51,160 --> 00:50:53,719
Speaker 1: then she can feel loving towards the baby again and

1025
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:56,719
Speaker 1: it'll all be good. Why do you think siblings should fight?

1026
00:50:56,760 --> 00:50:58,239
Speaker 1: I saw that in your thing where he said it's

1027
00:50:58,400 --> 00:51:01,040
Speaker 1: it's actually a good day. It's more that I think

1028
00:51:01,120 --> 00:51:05,040
Speaker 1: that they will and um, and that it's good. But

1029
00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:08,399
Speaker 1: it's good to say, Um, I mean I I don't

1030
00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:10,439
Speaker 1: I don't like my memories of fighting with my brother.

1031
00:51:10,480 --> 00:51:12,200
Speaker 1: I don't know how that served us a good purpose

1032
00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:16,440
Speaker 1: because I look at my my cousin's relationship and even yeah,

1033
00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:18,239
Speaker 1: they maybe like fought a little bit, but they like

1034
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:20,640
Speaker 1: they have a great relationship, not saying my relationship my brother.

1035
00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:22,719
Speaker 1: My brother and I have a great relationship now, but

1036
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:24,960
Speaker 1: as a kid, like, I mean, he was so mean

1037
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:27,560
Speaker 1: to me, so I'm like, I'm like, I don't and

1038
00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:29,440
Speaker 1: then on top of that, like what my parents had

1039
00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:32,640
Speaker 1: to deal with because of us fighting. Well, I don't

1040
00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:35,000
Speaker 1: think it's a joint, that is for sure. It's more

1041
00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:38,480
Speaker 1: that if your kids are are doing this and experiencing it,

1042
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:41,640
Speaker 1: to be aware that they are, but they're getting something

1043
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:43,640
Speaker 1: out of it. So you know, you're sort of learning

1044
00:51:43,719 --> 00:51:45,799
Speaker 1: that not every relationship is going to be great since

1045
00:51:45,840 --> 00:51:49,880
Speaker 1: they're stoffling, but um, you can and one of the

1046
00:51:49,960 --> 00:51:51,400
Speaker 1: things that I think you learned sort of that you

1047
00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:56,000
Speaker 1: can fight and then you can be okay afterwards that

1048
00:51:56,440 --> 00:51:59,239
Speaker 1: you know, it's a good lesson. kJ. Where can our

1049
00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:03,359
Speaker 1: listeners find you? kJ Della tonio dot com. The book

1050
00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:05,239
Speaker 1: gets how to Be a Happier Karen and you could

1051
00:52:05,239 --> 00:52:08,320
Speaker 1: pretty much buy that anywhere. Amazing. Well, thank you so

1052
00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:15,960
Speaker 1: much for coming on. We really appreciate it. Thanks, thank you. Okay,

1053
00:52:16,040 --> 00:52:18,920
Speaker 1: So I got turned onto sugar bear hair from my

1054
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:22,800
Speaker 1: girlfriend Sarah, who's been on the podcast. She loves sugar

1055
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:26,600
Speaker 1: bear hair because not only is it just incredibly good

1056
00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:29,960
Speaker 1: for you to take. Your hair looks awesome. And I

1057
00:52:30,040 --> 00:52:32,279
Speaker 1: remember I always ask her, I said, does it really work?

1058
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:35,399
Speaker 1: And she says, yes, it works so amazing. Well, I'm

1059
00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:38,640
Speaker 1: telling you my hair has never looked better. So each

1060
00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:41,279
Speaker 1: little gummy is as much vitamin A as four cups

1061
00:52:41,320 --> 00:52:44,480
Speaker 1: of broccoli, as much vitamin C as one cup of cranberries,

1062
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:48,120
Speaker 1: and as much vitamin B twelve as four organic eggs.

1063
00:52:48,640 --> 00:52:51,160
Speaker 1: The nuts and sugar Bear hair fans also found their

1064
00:52:51,239 --> 00:52:55,000
Speaker 1: nails and skin quality improve over time, So I love that.

1065
00:52:55,440 --> 00:52:57,560
Speaker 1: Go to sugar Bear Hair dot com slash Janna for

1066
00:52:57,600 --> 00:53:00,480
Speaker 1: beautiful hair and healthier you. That's sugar Bear Hair dot

1067
00:53:00,560 --> 00:53:04,000
Speaker 1: com slash Janna, sugar Bear Hair dot com slash Janna.

1068
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:10,600
Speaker 1: Um a story. I need this story. So we kind

1069
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:12,840
Speaker 1: of touched on a little bit. Um for those of

1070
00:53:12,880 --> 00:53:14,680
Speaker 1: you listening, I got like ten more minutes. I'm out

1071
00:53:14,680 --> 00:53:17,200
Speaker 1: of here. I've heard this story. But where are you

1072
00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:24,840
Speaker 1: going to work? Oh god, I'm still doing that. So Julie,

1073
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:29,120
Speaker 1: let me just catch Easton and Mark and Jenna. Michael

1074
00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:35,879
Speaker 1: obviously knows a story. Her her husband is my ex husband. Yes,

1075
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:45,160
Speaker 1: so wait a second, So I I was married to

1076
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:51,200
Speaker 1: her husband. Check. Yes, this story so and this is

1077
00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:54,760
Speaker 1: his beautiful wife. Hello. And she's also my best friend

1078
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:59,200
Speaker 1: and we have like family parties and get togethers, and

1079
00:53:59,520 --> 00:54:02,440
Speaker 1: you know, my our closest friends here in Los Angeles.

1080
00:54:02,640 --> 00:54:07,239
Speaker 1: That's incredible, incredible. I mean we're their son. Camden is

1081
00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:11,760
Speaker 1: Jolie's best friend Tendon. They go to the same school.

1082
00:54:11,960 --> 00:54:14,160
Speaker 1: They're technically siblings because that's the only way that Jolie

1083
00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:16,399
Speaker 1: was able to get into the school. Oh my god,

1084
00:54:16,480 --> 00:54:21,360
Speaker 1: that's so funny. Talk about name changes, right, um, but no,

1085
00:54:21,640 --> 00:54:25,480
Speaker 1: So I met Julie. Well, I knew of Julie because

1086
00:54:26,360 --> 00:54:29,000
Speaker 1: she stalked me on I did stock. I mean, who

1087
00:54:29,520 --> 00:54:32,480
Speaker 1: people always stalk ex girlfriends. It's just gonna happen. I

1088
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:37,680
Speaker 1: meant girlfriends, I mean or girlfriends, but also girlfriends. Is

1089
00:54:37,719 --> 00:54:40,560
Speaker 1: there another layer to this story? I've stopped like all

1090
00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:43,160
Speaker 1: my boyfriends X's girlfriends or whatever. It's just it's just

1091
00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:44,840
Speaker 1: what you do, you know. I feel like it's just

1092
00:54:44,920 --> 00:54:46,520
Speaker 1: the rite of passage for a girl to be able

1093
00:54:46,560 --> 00:54:48,800
Speaker 1: to stalk, you know, the other people and be like

1094
00:54:49,360 --> 00:54:51,680
Speaker 1: but then you're like, oh, they're prettier whatever. But anyways,

1095
00:54:51,960 --> 00:54:54,520
Speaker 1: so I knew that Jonathan had moved on and that

1096
00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:58,040
Speaker 1: he was dating this girl named Julie. But this is

1097
00:54:58,080 --> 00:55:00,760
Speaker 1: a this is an interesting story. I was dating someone

1098
00:55:00,920 --> 00:55:02,920
Speaker 1: in the country world. I'm not going to say his name.

1099
00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:08,160
Speaker 1: We'll just call him um cowboy and old old Yeller,

1100
00:55:10,120 --> 00:55:15,800
Speaker 1: so a compliment. I'm living in East Nashville, and at midnight,

1101
00:55:16,960 --> 00:55:20,040
Speaker 1: Jonathan and Julie show up at my house in East Nashville, which,

1102
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:23,080
Speaker 1: mind you, is like not like the safest place. It's

1103
00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:25,319
Speaker 1: kind of like it's safe, but it's like also kind

1104
00:55:25,360 --> 00:55:28,279
Speaker 1: of sketchy to East Nashville. So they show up at

1105
00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:30,640
Speaker 1: my house and Old Yeller comes up and he's like,

1106
00:55:30,960 --> 00:55:34,080
Speaker 1: your ex husband's at the door. And I'm like it

1107
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:41,000
Speaker 1: sounds like a country western and I was like what

1108
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:43,920
Speaker 1: I look at the time, Like it's midnight. You want

1109
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:45,560
Speaker 1: to talk to you? And I was like tell him

1110
00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:50,320
Speaker 1: to leave, Like this is midnight. So Julie and Jonathan

1111
00:55:50,400 --> 00:55:52,719
Speaker 1: show up at my house, would you like to Yeah,

1112
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:55,520
Speaker 1: well it was it was late, so I will say

1113
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:57,759
Speaker 1: that I don't think we really paid attention to the time.

1114
00:55:57,800 --> 00:55:59,600
Speaker 1: I don't think it was midnight, but it was. It

1115
00:55:59,719 --> 00:56:06,400
Speaker 1: was like but um, I think we just like we

1116
00:56:06,480 --> 00:56:09,879
Speaker 1: didn't know that he was going to be there obviously. Yeah,

1117
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:13,680
Speaker 1: and it wasn't supposed to be this like dramatic, crazy thing.

1118
00:56:13,840 --> 00:56:18,680
Speaker 1: I think that I had written an email to Jonathan,

1119
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:23,680
Speaker 1: so here's my thing with ex boyfriends x whatever. I

1120
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:27,000
Speaker 1: wrote an email saying something had happened to someone in

1121
00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:30,480
Speaker 1: his life, and I expressed my dearest sympathy because I

1122
00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:32,800
Speaker 1: don't like negative energy out there. How John and I

1123
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:36,120
Speaker 1: ended wasn't good. We're obviously amazing. Now he's you know,

1124
00:56:36,200 --> 00:56:38,759
Speaker 1: he's incredible. He's for you know, as an act and coach.

1125
00:56:38,840 --> 00:56:41,920
Speaker 1: We we were on sides together. He's part of the family. Basically,

1126
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:46,080
Speaker 1: we do dinners, like we said, but um, at the time,

1127
00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:48,920
Speaker 1: we didn't have a good like ending, and I just

1128
00:56:49,040 --> 00:56:51,520
Speaker 1: don't like that energy out there. So I had emailed

1129
00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:53,560
Speaker 1: and being like, hey, I heard something happen and I'm

1130
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:55,800
Speaker 1: really sorry. I hope you're well. So that was just

1131
00:56:55,960 --> 00:57:00,279
Speaker 1: my nice Oliver. Yeah, and I think he is trying

1132
00:57:00,320 --> 00:57:03,680
Speaker 1: to retrieve that all the branch. But the energy with

1133
00:57:04,560 --> 00:57:07,239
Speaker 1: the person that get us at the door, Yeller like

1134
00:57:07,320 --> 00:57:09,200
Speaker 1: pulled a gun on them. Yeah, it was it kind

1135
00:57:09,239 --> 00:57:14,239
Speaker 1: of the dynamic got shifted pretty quickly and dramatically because

1136
00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:16,480
Speaker 1: we I mean it was not our intention to be

1137
00:57:16,600 --> 00:57:18,880
Speaker 1: there in a negative light or to be there in

1138
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:21,080
Speaker 1: a hostile light at all, but we were met with

1139
00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:23,960
Speaker 1: this really intense energy. I mean yeah again, but it's

1140
00:57:23,960 --> 00:57:26,240
Speaker 1: like it's midnight. Who shows up that late? So it

1141
00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:30,520
Speaker 1: was like when Jonathan was like, hey, I want to

1142
00:57:30,520 --> 00:57:32,320
Speaker 1: go over here, and yeah, I think yeah, I think

1143
00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:36,240
Speaker 1: it was both of ours like but we Yeah, it

1144
00:57:36,360 --> 00:57:40,040
Speaker 1: wasn't like a drunken thing that we meant to co late.

1145
00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:43,040
Speaker 1: It was later than we probably should have. I think

1146
00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:45,080
Speaker 1: that we didn't realize how late it was. We weren't

1147
00:57:45,080 --> 00:57:47,440
Speaker 1: paying attention to that. So yeah, so old Yeller like

1148
00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:50,800
Speaker 1: pulls a gun. They had a hard time understanding. He's like,

1149
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:54,640
Speaker 1: what do you say? It's like property, and it was

1150
00:57:54,720 --> 00:57:56,520
Speaker 1: like what he said was if we don't get off

1151
00:57:56,560 --> 00:57:59,120
Speaker 1: this property. Yeah. I could understand what he was saying

1152
00:57:59,160 --> 00:58:01,160
Speaker 1: because I grew up into to See and so my

1153
00:58:01,280 --> 00:58:03,840
Speaker 1: family there, you know, I have a have a family

1154
00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:06,320
Speaker 1: that that are, you know, very rural and you know,

1155
00:58:06,480 --> 00:58:10,440
Speaker 1: speak with that southern draw And so he was talking

1156
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:12,560
Speaker 1: and Jonathan I could just start to see like his

1157
00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:15,440
Speaker 1: brow furrow and he was just kind of like I

1158
00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:16,800
Speaker 1: could tell he was I was like, he has no

1159
00:58:16,880 --> 00:58:20,280
Speaker 1: idea what he's saying. And so then John goes, what

1160
00:58:20,360 --> 00:58:23,440
Speaker 1: did you just say? I was like, he said that

1161
00:58:23,560 --> 00:58:25,240
Speaker 1: if we don't leave right now, we're going to have

1162
00:58:25,320 --> 00:58:27,480
Speaker 1: a problem. So we did. We ended up leaving, and

1163
00:58:27,560 --> 00:58:29,880
Speaker 1: then I don't even remember so leaving, and then we

1164
00:58:29,960 --> 00:58:33,160
Speaker 1: met again at the j DeMarcus from Rascale Flats does

1165
00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:37,600
Speaker 1: this wine, um charity from Make a Wish, Make a Wish,

1166
00:58:38,240 --> 00:58:41,800
Speaker 1: and she was there we officially met. She was very

1167
00:58:41,960 --> 00:58:45,360
Speaker 1: sweet um and I just she was she was really

1168
00:58:45,400 --> 00:58:47,320
Speaker 1: really nice. And then it wasn't until I did Dancing

1169
00:58:47,320 --> 00:58:50,320
Speaker 1: with the Stars two years ago when um, and that's

1170
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:52,400
Speaker 1: when Jonathan had reached out and was just like, you know,

1171
00:58:53,120 --> 00:58:55,320
Speaker 1: if you need anything, you know, Julie, and I said,

1172
00:58:56,320 --> 00:58:58,520
Speaker 1: I kind of, you know, I could really use the help,

1173
00:58:58,720 --> 00:58:59,800
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know how long we're going to

1174
00:58:59,880 --> 00:59:01,400
Speaker 1: be or for Dancing with the Stars. Do you guys

1175
00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:02,920
Speaker 1: have like a crib or a pack and play? I

1176
00:59:02,960 --> 00:59:06,440
Speaker 1: could borrow because Jolie was only six months and Julie

1177
00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:08,400
Speaker 1: was so sweet. I mean she was just like, yeah,

1178
00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:11,000
Speaker 1: this is Camden's old crib, here's this, here's that, and

1179
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:13,880
Speaker 1: she just became a best friend two years later, now

1180
00:59:13,920 --> 00:59:19,800
Speaker 1: we're like busties. It's it's just it's it's worked out

1181
00:59:19,920 --> 00:59:22,240
Speaker 1: like so beautifully. But I always loved telling the story

1182
00:59:22,280 --> 00:59:24,360
Speaker 1: of people because I mean, I was only married to

1183
00:59:24,440 --> 00:59:30,480
Speaker 1: Jonathan for like a week, so it wasn't for for us.

1184
00:59:31,200 --> 00:59:33,240
Speaker 1: Anyone who's going to be friends with like a new

1185
00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:36,200
Speaker 1: spouse or a new girlfriend and boyfriend, like everyone automatically

1186
00:59:36,280 --> 00:59:38,240
Speaker 1: thinks that that should be weird because you should just

1187
00:59:38,280 --> 00:59:40,800
Speaker 1: automatically hate each other. But the way that I look

1188
00:59:40,840 --> 00:59:42,840
Speaker 1: at it, I have like that has nothing to do

1189
00:59:42,920 --> 00:59:45,520
Speaker 1: with me. I didn't even know Jonathan existed or Janet

1190
00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:49,040
Speaker 1: existed like I have. I'm not part of that relationship

1191
00:59:49,160 --> 00:59:52,040
Speaker 1: that was a decade ago, and I know me and

1192
00:59:52,120 --> 00:59:54,440
Speaker 1: Mike are so glad that they didn't work out because

1193
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:58,720
Speaker 1: now we have, you know, we have amazing, beautiful children

1194
00:59:58,800 --> 01:00:02,400
Speaker 1: that we all equally love and supporting. Um. I think

1195
01:00:02,400 --> 01:00:03,920
Speaker 1: it all just kind of works and it's funny. We

1196
01:00:03,960 --> 01:00:06,200
Speaker 1: were actually last night with m jan and I have

1197
01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:09,320
Speaker 1: a mutual friend named Sarah Boyd. Sarah Boyd's best friend

1198
01:00:09,480 --> 01:00:13,160
Speaker 1: is Cat Sadler from E News. Sarah Boyd's husband is

1199
01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:16,440
Speaker 1: also Cat Sadler's ex husband Kyle Boyd. And so Sarah

1200
01:00:16,480 --> 01:00:18,160
Speaker 1: and Kat are really really close, and so we were

1201
01:00:18,200 --> 01:00:20,360
Speaker 1: talking to Sarah, how you know we have kind of

1202
01:00:20,480 --> 01:00:23,520
Speaker 1: that that similar connection that Sarah and Cat are are

1203
01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:25,720
Speaker 1: really close, and Jane and I are really close. And

1204
01:00:25,800 --> 01:00:28,520
Speaker 1: so I think that it's just a matter of really,

1205
01:00:28,840 --> 01:00:32,200
Speaker 1: you know, being an adult and realizing the awkwardness is

1206
01:00:32,200 --> 01:00:33,880
Speaker 1: out now. Like I feel like two years ago, when

1207
01:00:34,200 --> 01:00:36,000
Speaker 1: you know, my mom came for dancing, she's like, oh,

1208
01:00:36,080 --> 01:00:37,680
Speaker 1: this is weird. I'm like, if it's not weird like

1209
01:00:37,800 --> 01:00:42,200
Speaker 1: now we're yeah, yeah, if it's weird for other people,

1210
01:00:42,320 --> 01:00:45,800
Speaker 1: then that's their own. It would be weird if if

1211
01:00:45,840 --> 01:00:48,880
Speaker 1: the timelines cross each other, right, you know, I mean,

1212
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:52,560
Speaker 1: then I can understand where there's trust issues or it's

1213
01:00:53,040 --> 01:00:57,760
Speaker 1: the reason why I left John. I can understand. But

1214
01:00:57,840 --> 01:01:00,840
Speaker 1: like Julie said, she didn't even I mean, y years

1215
01:01:00,880 --> 01:01:04,240
Speaker 1: had gone by, so many years you guys married, what

1216
01:01:04,360 --> 01:01:06,880
Speaker 1: five years? We've been married for five years? Yeah, I mean,

1217
01:01:07,160 --> 01:01:09,160
Speaker 1: and you don't even you don't even like you were withdrawn.

1218
01:01:09,280 --> 01:01:11,400
Speaker 1: Like that's just so like I remember being a kid

1219
01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:16,360
Speaker 1: and watching that thing you do in loving that movie,

1220
01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:18,840
Speaker 1: and now you know that's John. I'm like I knew

1221
01:01:18,880 --> 01:01:23,400
Speaker 1: you when I was like ten, I knew you. Like

1222
01:01:23,520 --> 01:01:26,240
Speaker 1: you don't see us together, you know what I mean? Like, yeah,

1223
01:01:26,520 --> 01:01:30,320
Speaker 1: not at all. It's Julian John, It's me and he's amazing.

1224
01:01:30,360 --> 01:01:34,520
Speaker 1: I wish he was here so sweet. Yeah, but can

1225
01:01:34,560 --> 01:01:36,280
Speaker 1: we can you please talk tell us about what you

1226
01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:39,680
Speaker 1: do because you have really taken the influencing market and

1227
01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:42,760
Speaker 1: just blown it up. Um. Yeah, So my background is

1228
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:46,240
Speaker 1: in PR. I worked um in New York and Nashville. Um,

1229
01:01:46,480 --> 01:01:48,960
Speaker 1: you have an influencer podcast. I do have the influencer

1230
01:01:48,960 --> 01:01:51,280
Speaker 1: podcast now. UM worked in PR and then kind of

1231
01:01:51,680 --> 01:01:55,680
Speaker 1: trance you know, evolved as this influencer space has evolved,

1232
01:01:55,720 --> 01:01:58,920
Speaker 1: and as marketing digital marketing specifically as evolved. So I

1233
01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:01,920
Speaker 1: started the Influence for podcast about two years ago, and

1234
01:02:02,680 --> 01:02:04,200
Speaker 1: you know, we have listeners in over a hundred and

1235
01:02:04,240 --> 01:02:06,800
Speaker 1: sixty five countries. It's been downloaded millions of times. It's

1236
01:02:06,920 --> 01:02:09,439
Speaker 1: just really took off when that influencer space took off.

1237
01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:12,520
Speaker 1: We really UM with that podcast. It's it's more of

1238
01:02:12,560 --> 01:02:16,720
Speaker 1: a tactical education based podcast. We really teach bloggers or

1239
01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:20,800
Speaker 1: influencers are aspiring bloggers and influencers how they can uplevel

1240
01:02:21,360 --> 01:02:24,520
Speaker 1: their online influencer Right now, you have a webinar I do.

1241
01:02:24,680 --> 01:02:26,080
Speaker 1: So I have a new program coming out called the

1242
01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:28,520
Speaker 1: Influencer Academy. We're gonna have some free videos and webinars

1243
01:02:28,640 --> 01:02:31,320
Speaker 1: with that. So anyone who's interested in either starting an

1244
01:02:31,360 --> 01:02:33,160
Speaker 1: online influence or wanting to grow that, they can go

1245
01:02:33,240 --> 01:02:36,720
Speaker 1: to the Influencer Academy dot org and get that information.

1246
01:02:37,600 --> 01:02:40,000
Speaker 1: What is the best thing like that you've like, well,

1247
01:02:40,080 --> 01:02:42,080
Speaker 1: what's the best advice that you can tell someone like

1248
01:02:42,240 --> 01:02:45,720
Speaker 1: if you're wanting to start. I mean I would say

1249
01:02:45,800 --> 01:02:48,960
Speaker 1: I think a lot of times, especially in the influencer space,

1250
01:02:49,040 --> 01:02:51,320
Speaker 1: and you know, we'll just use Instagram as an example

1251
01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:53,680
Speaker 1: that people just think that it's it's something that just

1252
01:02:53,760 --> 01:02:56,520
Speaker 1: kind of happens to people, right like, um, they become

1253
01:02:56,600 --> 01:03:00,480
Speaker 1: instantly insto famous because they you know, they're neked and

1254
01:03:00,520 --> 01:03:03,840
Speaker 1: a photo or they go on The Bachelor, or you know,

1255
01:03:03,960 --> 01:03:06,400
Speaker 1: they're sitting front row at fashion they're doing hashtag ads

1256
01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:08,600
Speaker 1: and now they're doing hashtag ads and you know, yes,

1257
01:03:08,680 --> 01:03:10,720
Speaker 1: do those things happen, sure, But that is like a

1258
01:03:10,880 --> 01:03:14,400
Speaker 1: point five percent out of the entire influencer. I mean

1259
01:03:14,440 --> 01:03:16,840
Speaker 1: there's there's like eight billion people in the world. Three

1260
01:03:16,920 --> 01:03:20,040
Speaker 1: million of them or bloggers and influencers, so you know,

1261
01:03:20,160 --> 01:03:22,160
Speaker 1: not three million people have gone on The Bachelor and

1262
01:03:22,240 --> 01:03:24,280
Speaker 1: not three million people sit front row at Fashion Week.

1263
01:03:24,320 --> 01:03:26,240
Speaker 1: So I think that it's really about thinking of it

1264
01:03:26,320 --> 01:03:28,640
Speaker 1: and seeing it as a business and also realizing that

1265
01:03:28,720 --> 01:03:31,320
Speaker 1: a business does not happen overnight. It takes time, It

1266
01:03:31,400 --> 01:03:34,360
Speaker 1: takes strategy, it takes coaching, it takes mentoring, it takes

1267
01:03:34,440 --> 01:03:37,440
Speaker 1: really wanting to do it and having like that resilience

1268
01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:40,080
Speaker 1: and that endurance to want to to grow anything, whether

1269
01:03:40,160 --> 01:03:42,000
Speaker 1: you want to be a doctor or an influencer, like

1270
01:03:42,040 --> 01:03:43,880
Speaker 1: you're you're going to have to do the work. So

1271
01:03:43,960 --> 01:03:46,760
Speaker 1: I think that's the biggest misconception that a lot of

1272
01:03:46,800 --> 01:03:48,960
Speaker 1: people get. They see, you know, a lot that that

1273
01:03:49,080 --> 01:03:51,360
Speaker 1: word influencer has a lot of negative connotation to it

1274
01:03:51,440 --> 01:03:53,960
Speaker 1: because they're like, Oh, these girls just woke up like

1275
01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:56,640
Speaker 1: that and they're putting hashtag ad on a post and

1276
01:03:56,720 --> 01:03:58,440
Speaker 1: making all of this money. And they're like, yeah, but

1277
01:03:59,360 --> 01:04:01,440
Speaker 1: that is how they grow their business. But there's a

1278
01:04:01,520 --> 01:04:03,600
Speaker 1: lot that happens behind the scenes that you're not seeing.

1279
01:04:04,240 --> 01:04:06,120
Speaker 1: So it's kind of like someone who goes to a

1280
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:08,120
Speaker 1: Broadway play and they're like, oh, I could do this

1281
01:04:08,240 --> 01:04:10,760
Speaker 1: because I've seen a couple of them. It's like, no,

1282
01:04:10,920 --> 01:04:12,600
Speaker 1: I mean there's a lot that happens behind the scenes

1283
01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:15,320
Speaker 1: to actually make the show go on and say your

1284
01:04:15,320 --> 01:04:18,640
Speaker 1: handle again. It's at Jewels j U L S. Solomon

1285
01:04:18,840 --> 01:04:20,440
Speaker 1: s O L O M O N and to get

1286
01:04:20,480 --> 01:04:24,520
Speaker 1: the webinar the Influencer Academy dot org. Thanks for being here, Jewels,

1287
01:04:24,560 --> 01:04:28,400
Speaker 1: thanks for having mark. Do you have an email for us?

1288
01:04:28,640 --> 01:04:32,760
Speaker 1: I do. It's from she just called herself. See I

1289
01:04:32,840 --> 01:04:34,800
Speaker 1: was twenty, she says, by the way, in response to

1290
01:04:34,880 --> 01:04:36,800
Speaker 1: last week's episode, I was twenty three when I lost

1291
01:04:36,840 --> 01:04:38,960
Speaker 1: my virginity, not because I didn't want to lose it

1292
01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:41,160
Speaker 1: before then, I didn't care. I'm twenty eight now my

1293
01:04:41,240 --> 01:04:44,480
Speaker 1: number is three. No regrets. This leads me to my question.

1294
01:04:45,120 --> 01:04:47,480
Speaker 1: I don't really date, not that I wouldn't. I just

1295
01:04:47,600 --> 01:04:50,480
Speaker 1: haven't found the one. But I want kids so bad

1296
01:04:50,760 --> 01:04:52,960
Speaker 1: since I can remember, I've wanted them. But it's twenty five.

1297
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:55,960
Speaker 1: I really started thinking about doing artificial insemination at thirty.

1298
01:04:56,160 --> 01:04:59,200
Speaker 1: Is that too young? And from a guy's perspective, would

1299
01:04:59,200 --> 01:05:01,760
Speaker 1: that freak you out of a future girlfriend? Did this?

1300
01:05:02,720 --> 01:05:04,600
Speaker 1: By the way, I'm not cutting off all men. I

1301
01:05:04,760 --> 01:05:06,840
Speaker 1: just know they're not showing up and I want babies.

1302
01:05:07,280 --> 01:05:09,440
Speaker 1: Well are you showing up because you said that you're

1303
01:05:09,480 --> 01:05:12,320
Speaker 1: not dating. Well, he is not going to knock on

1304
01:05:12,360 --> 01:05:14,360
Speaker 1: the door while you're sitting on the couch on the

1305
01:05:14,520 --> 01:05:17,480
Speaker 1: perfect man's not gonna, you know, down from the sky.

1306
01:05:17,600 --> 01:05:19,760
Speaker 1: I mean, this day and age is really hard to find.

1307
01:05:20,200 --> 01:05:22,000
Speaker 1: I mean, well, there's social media. There's a lot to

1308
01:05:22,120 --> 01:05:25,080
Speaker 1: unpack here in this email. There is, and listen, motherhood

1309
01:05:25,160 --> 01:05:26,640
Speaker 1: is not easy, and if you're going to do it

1310
01:05:26,760 --> 01:05:30,080
Speaker 1: on your own, having hats off to you, like if

1311
01:05:30,160 --> 01:05:32,800
Speaker 1: you want to go all in. I have one of

1312
01:05:32,880 --> 01:05:37,320
Speaker 1: my son's friends, his mother. This is you know, the

1313
01:05:37,400 --> 01:05:41,240
Speaker 1: road she took and I respect her for it, but

1314
01:05:42,080 --> 01:05:45,080
Speaker 1: it is exhausting to not have any help. And I

1315
01:05:45,160 --> 01:05:48,800
Speaker 1: see it in her face every single day. I mean, yeah,

1316
01:05:48,840 --> 01:05:51,760
Speaker 1: I'm sure I can't even imagine single moms. And you

1317
01:05:51,800 --> 01:05:55,160
Speaker 1: know what I can't. I can't imagine that. Having said that,

1318
01:05:55,800 --> 01:05:57,840
Speaker 1: I had made a pack to myself. If I was

1319
01:05:57,920 --> 01:06:01,000
Speaker 1: thirty five and did not have a uh what's that?

1320
01:06:01,160 --> 01:06:06,040
Speaker 1: What's that word? Perspective? Prospect? I was If I was

1321
01:06:06,120 --> 01:06:08,520
Speaker 1: thirty five and did not have a prospect, I would

1322
01:06:08,640 --> 01:06:14,160
Speaker 1: have done a donor right. So what my advice to

1323
01:06:14,240 --> 01:06:18,040
Speaker 1: see would be like, wait, put your really, truly, truly

1324
01:06:18,120 --> 01:06:22,440
Speaker 1: put yourself out there, and then what's going on though,

1325
01:06:22,480 --> 01:06:24,720
Speaker 1: because I feel like there's just deeper stuff here, but

1326
01:06:24,840 --> 01:06:28,160
Speaker 1: I don't. But I disagree that this external validation of

1327
01:06:28,280 --> 01:06:30,120
Speaker 1: needing to feel loved. So it's like, I'm just going

1328
01:06:30,160 --> 01:06:32,360
Speaker 1: to go have a kid because I disagree with you

1329
01:06:32,440 --> 01:06:34,120
Speaker 1: because when I was thirty, I was like, I want

1330
01:06:34,320 --> 01:06:37,000
Speaker 1: and that's you know, when I said my fault was

1331
01:06:37,120 --> 01:06:39,320
Speaker 1: I moved too fast in my relationship with Mike because

1332
01:06:39,320 --> 01:06:41,800
Speaker 1: I wanted a kid. I wanted to have a baby.

1333
01:06:41,800 --> 01:06:44,520
Speaker 1: I want and it wasn't because I needed to feel

1334
01:06:44,600 --> 01:06:47,680
Speaker 1: love or this or my Yes, I've gotten my purpose

1335
01:06:47,760 --> 01:06:49,320
Speaker 1: from being a mother and from those things. At the

1336
01:06:49,360 --> 01:06:51,880
Speaker 1: same time, I just want to be a mom because

1337
01:06:51,960 --> 01:06:54,240
Speaker 1: that is what I feel like my true passion in

1338
01:06:54,360 --> 01:06:56,560
Speaker 1: life is supposed to be. And I get that, but

1339
01:06:57,000 --> 01:07:01,360
Speaker 1: rushing it at twenty five, you haven't even she isn't

1340
01:07:01,400 --> 01:07:06,080
Speaker 1: she now? Yeah, I say, freeze your eggs, give it

1341
01:07:06,160 --> 01:07:10,479
Speaker 1: fun and and and put yourself out there. Go date people.

1342
01:07:10,520 --> 01:07:12,760
Speaker 1: You're the whole thing. She was like, you know, I

1343
01:07:12,800 --> 01:07:14,200
Speaker 1: just don't want to date because I haven't found the

1344
01:07:14,200 --> 01:07:15,960
Speaker 1: one where you're not going to find the one unless

1345
01:07:15,960 --> 01:07:19,080
Speaker 1: she had made some people make it your job. That's

1346
01:07:19,080 --> 01:07:22,240
Speaker 1: what my sister did. Mark perspective, like if if she

1347
01:07:22,360 --> 01:07:23,720
Speaker 1: had a kid. I feel like in this day and

1348
01:07:23,760 --> 01:07:25,720
Speaker 1: age though too, if you're thirty and a lot of

1349
01:07:25,760 --> 01:07:27,880
Speaker 1: people have kids, well look at a single mom. As

1350
01:07:27,920 --> 01:07:29,840
Speaker 1: a single mom, you're going to take certain guys out

1351
01:07:29,840 --> 01:07:31,720
Speaker 1: of the pool just because certain guys aren't going to

1352
01:07:31,760 --> 01:07:33,080
Speaker 1: be interested in that. But I don't think it makes

1353
01:07:33,080 --> 01:07:34,920
Speaker 1: any difference if you're a single mom from a previous

1354
01:07:34,960 --> 01:07:37,800
Speaker 1: relationship or because of artificial inssemination. I don't think it

1355
01:07:37,840 --> 01:07:41,760
Speaker 1: makes much difference to the guy. Yeah, I agree, so huge.

1356
01:07:41,760 --> 01:07:43,960
Speaker 1: Thank you to a t T. Visit at dot com

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01:07:44,040 --> 01:07:46,080
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Speaker 1: and nutrition information and support. Just text Janna to thirty

1367
01:08:12,160 --> 01:08:15,000
Speaker 1: and thanks to sugar Bear Hair for making my hair amazing.

1368
01:08:15,040 --> 01:08:17,080
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1371
01:08:22,920 --> 01:08:29,200
Speaker 1: Janna Well show, thanks, good luck on that. I support you,

1372
01:08:29,880 --> 01:08:32,880
Speaker 1: these little naysayers over here, you know, I support her

1373
01:08:33,320 --> 01:08:36,439
Speaker 1: her decision and wanting to explore her option. But date

1374
01:08:36,760 --> 01:08:39,800
Speaker 1: freeze your eggs, go out and date all right? Well,

1375
01:08:39,800 --> 01:08:42,000
Speaker 1: I love you guys. I'm excited to wind down next week.

1376
01:08:42,280 --> 01:08:42,920
Speaker 1: Can't wait. By