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Speaker 1: This is John, This is Sam, your og Okay storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts. We have some spectacular stories coming up, but.

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Speaker 2: Real quick, we got a two minute break from our

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Speaker 2: lovely sponsors keeping this ship sailing. My father plans to

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Speaker 2: reconcile with my cheating mother.

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking about running away. He shouldn't do that.

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Speaker 2: I am seventeen male and had my worst birthday last week.

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Speaker 2: Don't worry, buddy, there's plenty more context. My dad and

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Speaker 2: egg Donor divorced when I was fourteen, So yeah, this

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Speaker 2: is gonna be three years worth of details that happened. Oh,

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Speaker 2: my egg Donor cheated on my dad and had a

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Speaker 2: year long affair.

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Speaker 1: Oh, we clearly don't like the mom.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user zealous ideal Neck

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Speaker 2: twenty three sixty eight, and if you want to submit

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Speaker 2: your own stories, go to our slash Okay story Ti'm Subreddit.

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Speaker 2: My dad found out and while separating, explained to me

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Speaker 2: what happened. I was already mature and having big conversations

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Speaker 2: with my dad, like politics, so he didn't anything.

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Speaker 1: Imagine. The conversation was just red good, blue bad.

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Speaker 2: I was fourteen having big boy conversations. I was and

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Speaker 2: still am disgusted with my donor did we just call

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Speaker 2: her Deborah egg donor will here to forth be known

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Speaker 2: as Debrah for that day that I would never call

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Speaker 2: her mom even now, I either call her by her

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Speaker 2: name or just say hey you at the start of

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Speaker 2: the conversations.

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Speaker 1: So funny.

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Speaker 2: I moved in with her a fair partner. Dad got

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Speaker 2: the house, but unfortunately couldn't get full custody. I wasn't

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Speaker 2: given a preference because while I was staying with my

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Speaker 2: dad during the separation, I got into a fight at school.

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Speaker 2: I have a bit of a temper reshoe. Deborah's lawyer

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Speaker 2: used that incident to get joint custody until I turned eighteen.

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Speaker 2: I was like, wtf in court? I think Deborah slept

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Speaker 2: with the judge to get that ruling. My dad is

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Speaker 2: a great human being, never raised his voice and has

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Speaker 2: always loved me so much. He occasionally says, I love

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Speaker 2: your son. Makes me cringe, but I accept. My dad

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Speaker 2: is a very loving person. He always says he has

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Speaker 2: an ocean of love to give. He loved my mom

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Speaker 2: so much. Whenever Deborah returned from work, my dad used

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Speaker 2: to huger, give her a kiss, and ask her how

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Speaker 2: her day was yes, even when she was having a

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Speaker 2: year long affair. I don't know what kind of human

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Speaker 2: she is to keep up that facade when your partner

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Speaker 2: is loving you so much. Things became serious last month

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Speaker 2: when I had a huge fight with my entire maternal

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Speaker 2: side of the family. I was very close with my

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Speaker 2: maternal grandparents, but I started distancing myself after the divorce.

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Speaker 2: We visited my grandparents' house and I was pissed that

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Speaker 2: a fair partner was present with Deborah and the trip

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Speaker 2: was for an entire weekend.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't very keen.

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Speaker 2: On spending a weekend with them, but my dad convinced

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Speaker 2: me it was going to be great, and a boy,

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Speaker 2: was he wrong. Past two years, my grandparents had asked

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Speaker 2: me so many times to change my attitude towards Deborah,

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Speaker 2: but I never cared. Things went crazy when they tried

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Speaker 2: to have an intervention with me. Grandparents, Deborah, and a

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Speaker 2: fair partner were present. I was completely blindsided. All four

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Speaker 2: of them were sitting opposite of me. They gave me

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Speaker 2: the entire couch to sit by myself. It was like

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Speaker 2: a therapy session. Egg Donor and grandparents started their attack

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Speaker 2: one by one while a fair partner was silent. My

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Speaker 2: temper took over and the a whole version of me

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Speaker 2: came out. I turned towards a fair partner and said, hey,

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Speaker 2: you f off. This is between family, honestly, is fair.

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Speaker 2: I don't think you should have the a fair partner

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Speaker 2: at whatever little intervention you're having to.

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Speaker 1: Be like, you need to be okay with your mom existing.

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Speaker 1: It's like, shut up, you cheated with my mom.

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Speaker 2: Also, here's the person you arguably hate more than anyone

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Speaker 2: on earth right now, the affair partner.

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Speaker 1: Everyone was shocked at my tone.

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Speaker 2: Deborah tried to end the intervention because she knew that

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Speaker 2: what would happen when this side of me came out.

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Speaker 2: My grandparents didn't budge. I'm their only grandson and they

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Speaker 2: didn't want to lose connection with me as I started

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Speaker 2: distancing myself. A fair partner was ashamed and was leaving

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Speaker 2: when I said other hurtful things. I said, she cheated

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Speaker 2: on my dad with you, she'll cheat on you with

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Speaker 2: someone else, correct, So that caused more damage. He couldn't

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Speaker 2: say a word, and then I hit the final blow.

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Speaker 2: I hope your son also gets cheated on by his

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Speaker 2: future wife so he can know what kind of an

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Speaker 2: ale his father is that in him hard. He was

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Speaker 2: angry and went out storming. And I will forgive that

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Speaker 2: because you are between fourteen and sixteen.

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Speaker 1: Where's from between fourteen and seventeen? Which, yeah, it's very

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Speaker 1: black and white.

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Speaker 2: And look, I'm not gonna sit here and be like

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Speaker 2: infidelity is okay or not bad. But it's like there's

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Speaker 2: not a usually always a black and white. There's a

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Speaker 2: lot of gray stuff in the middle once you get

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Speaker 2: into adult land, like why people do things. It's like,

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Speaker 2: is his mom like an irredeemable monster for like being infidelitous? No?

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Speaker 1: Most likely No.

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Speaker 2: Does it absolve her of like any responsibility or guilt

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Speaker 2: coming from op right now?

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Speaker 1: Also no?

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Speaker 2: But it's like this is just a very emotionally charged

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Speaker 2: teenager dealing with the employe of his own family. Bro

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Speaker 2: wanted to follow a fair partner out the door, but

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Speaker 2: I didn't let her go. I asked her to sit

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Speaker 2: so once and for all we could finish this. Deborah

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Speaker 2: started crying, saying, how can her only son treat her

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Speaker 2: this way? Well, Deborah, you should understand that you have

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Speaker 2: upset him. Grandparents were disappointed in me, turned towards my

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Speaker 2: mom and started unloading everything. I explained how much I

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Speaker 2: loved her, how much Dad loved her, and how she

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Speaker 2: betrayed us. I brought out the instances when I used

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Speaker 2: to sleep next to my mom after watching some movies

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Speaker 2: when I was thirteen, and said how she was my

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Speaker 2: safe space, how much I cared for her and everything.

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Speaker 2: I hit her hard with, just imagine how much you've

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Speaker 2: ruined everything that so much love turned to hatred.

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Speaker 1: And the thing is, I don't think Opete does like

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Speaker 1: fully hate his mom. I think that when you care

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Speaker 1: about someone so much and they betray you, so angry

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Speaker 1: because you love them so much and that love is

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Speaker 1: not gone, just so confusing and you're like, ah, like

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Speaker 1: you made me so so angry and there's so much

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Speaker 1: emotion in here because you were so important to me.

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Speaker 1: He just like doesn't have the.

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Speaker 2: Words, has zero experience, and need is therapy big time.

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Speaker 2: She couldn't control her sobbing. After that, even my grandparents

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Speaker 2: started to cry. It was hard seeing my grandfather cry,

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Speaker 2: but what can you do when you raise? Deborah started

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Speaker 2: to shift blame towards my dad, saying he had poisoned me.

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Speaker 1: Classic victim card move.

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Speaker 2: The thing is my dad, after the divorce, attended therapy

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Speaker 2: sessions to get his life back on track. The last

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Speaker 2: step of that therapy was to make a video about

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Speaker 2: your feelings. My dad made a video about how he

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Speaker 2: forgave Deborah and wished her a great life. He was

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Speaker 2: supposed to send this video to Deborah, but couldn't, so

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Speaker 2: he sent it to me. I played the two year

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Speaker 2: old video and everyone just sat silently, no shocking reaction,

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Speaker 2: no nothing, because they knew how great of a person

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Speaker 2: my dad was. Deborah couldn't control her emotions. I even

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Speaker 2: doubled down by saying me and Dad loved you so

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Speaker 2: much that we were ready to take a bullet for you.

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Speaker 2: But now, even if you pass away tomorrow, I will

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Speaker 2: not be visiting your funeral. That's probably a lie, little

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Speaker 2: too far, though, not gonna make anybody feel better, not

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Speaker 2: even you.

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Speaker 1: Op. It's just like, this is a kid who needs

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Speaker 1: therapy so badly, with all of that pain and stuff

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Speaker 1: that he's going through.

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Speaker 2: I turned towards my grandparents and started shouting at them,

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Speaker 2: asking how they could raise their daughter to be a cheater.

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Speaker 2: I so wanted to use the W word, but controlled myself.

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Speaker 2: I also said that now I can't trust girls in

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Speaker 2: my school and I am scared to get a girlfriend. Buddy,

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Speaker 2: that was gonna happen either way. Don't worry about that.

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Speaker 1: You gotta fix that now before Ope, he gets this

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Speaker 1: like very unhealthy view of women, because very worsome if

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Speaker 1: that OPI is saying this one hundred percent.

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Speaker 2: Both my grandparents and Deborah didn't say anything, couldn't stand

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Speaker 2: there anymore, and called my dad to pick me up.

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Speaker 2: My grandparents apologized to my dad when he came to

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Speaker 2: pick me up for how he was treated during the divorce.

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Speaker 2: My dad knew something was up, but didn't say anything.

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Speaker 2: Deborah and a fair partner had gone out for a walk.

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Speaker 2: I forgot to mention my dad started dating again and

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Speaker 2: had met an amazing woman. She is also a divorcee

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Speaker 2: with no kids. She treats my dad amazingly and he

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Speaker 2: deserves someone amazing. All of that huge fight in my grandparents'

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Speaker 2: house led to what happened last week on my birthday. Oh,

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Speaker 2: this was all a prelude. This wasn't even the story.

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Speaker 2: Deborah came to my birthday without the affair partner, which

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Speaker 2: was shocking, but I didn't care. After the party, Both

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Speaker 2: Deborah and my dad were having a conversation on the

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Speaker 2: balcony and I could hear everything. It was shocking to

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Speaker 2: know that Dad and Deborah were in contact for a

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Speaker 2: week before, where she begged my dad for forgiveness and

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Speaker 2: my dad forgave her. On the balcony, she was asking

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Speaker 2: if they could reconcile and start a new chapter. I

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Speaker 2: was shocked to hear that, as was my dad. She

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Speaker 2: said she broke up with a fair partner because she

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Speaker 2: realized she's still in there with Dad.

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Speaker 1: What a load of bullcrap. Ohouch, this is where you go, Deborah.

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Speaker 2: I forgave you, but I'm not forgetting Yeah, there's a difference.

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Speaker 1: We've moved on.

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Speaker 2: I wish no ill upon you. However, I don't wish

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Speaker 2: to have you back.

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Speaker 1: I don't love you, you may love me. Can't say

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Speaker 1: the same by you. Don't worry, deb You'll make it through.

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Speaker 1: So they had realized.

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Speaker 2: I heard everything and came into the living room so

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Speaker 2: all three of us could discuss this. What was shocking

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Speaker 2: was that my dad was actually considering saying we could

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Speaker 2: again become a family.

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Speaker 1: Dating someone, know, you, literally dating someone.

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Speaker 2: I shouted at him and asked him to recall how

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Speaker 2: much Deborah betrayed us, how he had to go to

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Speaker 2: therapy to get his life back on track.

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Speaker 1: Dad was stuck in between.

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Speaker 2: Or tried everything to convince Dad, recalling how great our

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Speaker 2: family was and that we could go back to that.

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Speaker 2: I was having none of it and asked egg Donor

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Speaker 2: to leave. Had asked me to speak respectfully to her,

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Speaker 2: as I said, he is a great human. I even

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Speaker 2: mentioned how a fair partner and Deborah were together for

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Speaker 2: years but didn't get married. She said it was their choice.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't take it anymore and went a brutal on

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Speaker 2: my dad. Teenager anger problems. He said, when you were

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Speaker 2: hugging and kissing your wife as soon as she came home,

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Speaker 2: asking her how her day went, she was somewhere moaning

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Speaker 2: to some other guy's strokes. You did not say that,

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Speaker 2: Kimberly Fine. They literally stole your line. Literally, I saw

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Speaker 2: it in there. At some point she's talking about backshots

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Speaker 2: of words for the son and the dad. Dad, talk

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Speaker 2: to your therapist about this before you make any decisions.

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Speaker 3: Please stop putting your son in the middle of this.

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Speaker 2: Not a time for this to be talked out with

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Speaker 2: your son.

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Speaker 1: No don't be like, hey, thinking about with your mom, Like, no,

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Speaker 1: having that conversation with your son, that was a huge whiff.

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Speaker 2: Op needs therapy, therapy, which is again the dad's responsibility.

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Speaker 2: Dad's really dropping the ball on, like what does Opie

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Speaker 2: actually need to thrive?

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Speaker 1: I agree, like oh, he's like, oh, Dad's such a

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Speaker 1: great person. It's like okay, but he's not taking into

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Speaker 1: consideration what you need as a child.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, where's your therapy? He got his therapy, where's yours?

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Speaker 2: That hit my dad hard. He looked at me in shock.

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Speaker 2: Imagine that's a shocking to hear come out of the

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Speaker 2: mouth of your child.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Also said if they get back together, I will run

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Speaker 2: away and never contact you say a word, and just

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Speaker 2: left to take a walk. I knew then and there

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Speaker 2: I said something horrible. Deborah also left without saying anything.

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Speaker 2: He called my dad. He did not pick up the

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Speaker 2: first time, but when he did, I apologized and asked

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Speaker 2: why he would ever consider taking her back. I said,

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Speaker 2: he has an amazing girlfriend right now, and this was

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Speaker 2: something my dad didn't know. He thought I hated his

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Speaker 2: girlfriend like I hated the affair partner. But as soon

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Speaker 2: as I said that, he asked me to say the truth,

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Speaker 2: whether I really like his girlfriend and wouldn't object if

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Speaker 2: she became part of our family. I happily said yes,

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Speaker 2: and that I wouldn't hesitate to call her mom. That's

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Speaker 2: also therapy therapy time.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. It feels like, oh, he's like sting

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Speaker 1: the situation to get with Like, I don't think you would.

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Speaker 1: Do you actually see her as your mom? Or are

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Speaker 1: you just saying that so that your dad won't get

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Speaker 1: back together with your bio.

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Speaker 2: Well, I think Op has made the decision that his

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Speaker 2: mom is dead to him yea, and that now they're like, well,

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Speaker 2: if you marry your girlfriend and that I can haven't

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Speaker 2: mom again.

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Speaker 1: I can make her mom.

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Speaker 2: But it's like you can't therapy, which is not something

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Speaker 2: you can understand as a teenager, maybe inherently unless you're

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Speaker 2: like one of those, you know. I feel like Millie

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Speaker 2: Bobby Brown was a great example of just like a

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Speaker 2: genius emotionally genius kid because she played it like do

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Speaker 2: she stranger things? A lot of times kids can't get

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Speaker 2: emotion I was like, what are you talking about?

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Speaker 1: Like this is.

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Speaker 2: Clearly one of those cases. It's not happening. Oh, I

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Speaker 2: want to call her mom. Dad was very happy to

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Speaker 2: hear that, which again Dad should have immediately been like,

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Speaker 2: you need therapy if you're thinking that. When Deborah got

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Speaker 2: around in knowing this, she got angry and asked how

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Speaker 2: I could choose someone else over her. I said, I

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Speaker 2: will pick even the devil over you. She said, I

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Speaker 2: was heartless and what I said and did was very hurtful.

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Speaker 2: She was right about that.

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Speaker 1: Like just a big old therapy chant. No advice for

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Speaker 1: you other than therapy.

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Speaker 2: My dad asked me to go to therapy and get

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Speaker 2: my temper under control as well as my mouth, and

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Speaker 2: I am considering it. Grandparents call and said it's time

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Speaker 2: to forgive Yebra like my dad did. I said no.

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Speaker 2: Said what I said and did on my birthday was wrong.

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Speaker 2: So I'm out of a hole for saying to my

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Speaker 2: father I will run away if he reconciles with my

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Speaker 2: cheating mother.

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Speaker 1: I don't think the ale. I just think that you

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Speaker 1: are very emotionally confused need a lot of help.

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Speaker 2: No one's the a hole here except I mean the

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Speaker 2: mom for cheating mom.

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Speaker 1: I think your grandparents for saying that you have to

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Speaker 1: forgive your mom. I don't think that anyone can rush

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Speaker 1: or free iveness or demand it. Dad for not getting

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Speaker 1: into therapy sooner, I think that's just like a lot

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Speaker 1: of mistakes being made, just a lack of therapy.

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Speaker 2: I'd be like, if you're calling your mom the devil,

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Speaker 2: I would just end your just guess you can anger issues.

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Speaker 2: It's like I'm concerned. I'm like genuinely concerned about you. Hi, guys,

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Speaker 2: it's been two weeks since my original post and I

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Speaker 2: have come bearing an update. First things first, I read

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Speaker 2: all your comments under my post. Man.

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Speaker 1: People on Reddit love supporting cheaters.

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Speaker 2: First, I'll answer a few doubts for those who are

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Speaker 2: saying my dad alienated me against DEBRAA.

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Speaker 1: You need to know one thing.

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Speaker 2: When dad got the house, she moved in with a

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Speaker 2: fair partner, so I got to know at that time

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00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:10,080
Speaker 2: only that she cheated. My dad never said so. I

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Speaker 2: was fourteen when they separated, meaning I already knew what

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Speaker 2: cheating meant. Coming to some good news, as you guys

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Speaker 2: and my dad suggested, I started therapy.

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Speaker 1: Yay.

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Speaker 2: It's been great. Granted only two sessions have happened, but

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Speaker 2: still it's great. There is a lot of anger and

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Speaker 2: hatred that I have to deal with and it's going

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Speaker 2: to take some time getting over it. Now coming to

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Speaker 2: the update, I got a drunk call from the affair

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Speaker 2: partner last week, and man, he revealed a lot A

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Speaker 2: fair partner.

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Speaker 1: Didn't even know that he was a fair partner.

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Speaker 2: Which why is calling you exactly? I don't know if

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Speaker 2: I would trust a single word that comes out of

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Speaker 2: the rank affair partner calling you. Yeah, you guys heard

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Speaker 2: that right? Egg Donor aka Deborah, while cheating, said that

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Speaker 2: Dad and her were separated and were sleeping in separate rooms,

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Speaker 2: and also said that they were together now for my

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Speaker 2: sake and as soon and as I joined high school,

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Speaker 2: they were gonna get divorced. I was shocked out of

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Speaker 2: my mind, as none of those were true. Dad and

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Speaker 2: her always had date nights and had also gone on

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Speaker 2: a trip just the two of them in that one

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Speaker 2: year she was cheating. The partner said he didn't know

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Speaker 2: about any of that and thought he was in a

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Speaker 2: legitimate relationship until I spilled everything at my grandparents' house.

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Speaker 1: Find that very very hard to believe.

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Speaker 2: He said the comment about his son was a real

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Speaker 2: kick in the pants, and that's when he decided to

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Speaker 2: break up with Deborah. He said, have a good life

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Speaker 2: and cut the call. Man, I feel bad for a

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Speaker 2: fair partner. He didn't know he was in a cheating relationship.

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Speaker 2: Now this all makes sense. Remember when I said f

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Speaker 2: off to a fair partner in my grandparents' house. Egg

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Speaker 2: Donor tried to stop the intervention, but I cut her

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Speaker 2: off and spilled everything. Even my grandparents know the entire truth.

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Speaker 2: Everybody was being lied, like even her parents. That's why

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Speaker 2: I was like, how we got really? I then confronted

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Speaker 2: my mom about all of this. My egg Donor was

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Speaker 2: first angry that fair partner was drunk called me and

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Speaker 2: I guess she is still a mother. Then she came

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Speaker 2: clean and started crying, saying that she still loved Dad,

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00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,240
Speaker 2: but this was like an adrenaline rush kind of thing

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Speaker 2: and she just made a mistake. I just got the

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Speaker 2: call as I couldn't hear any more excuses. She said

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Speaker 2: one thing that I shouldn't tell my dad as he

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00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,520
Speaker 2: is happy now and she doesn't want to disturb his

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00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,240
Speaker 2: happiness what he already knows. Because by the way, you

354
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:23,320
Speaker 2: can listen to full episodes with stories that are a

355
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:28,080
Speaker 2: little more easy to believe than this one on Spotify. iHeartRadio,

356
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:31,800
Speaker 2: Apple podcasts wherever you listen to podcasts, just search Okay,

357
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:35,160
Speaker 2: story time, you got that full archive there, and you

358
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,400
Speaker 2: can listen to every single story and tell us all

359
00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:40,480
Speaker 2: which ones you think are not real, and you'll just

360
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:42,800
Speaker 2: have to listen to every single story's gonna I'll take

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00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:45,640
Speaker 2: you fifty four days in a row and you.

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Speaker 1: Can make a little Talian say this is not real.

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Speaker 2: Even I think I shouldn't say anything to my dad,

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00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:55,200
Speaker 2: especially about a fair partner drunk dialing me, because I

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00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,520
Speaker 2: know for sure Dad is going to ruin his life.

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Speaker 2: For those wondering, my dad is rich and his lawyers

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Speaker 2: are sharks.

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Speaker 1: Get this.

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Speaker 2: My parents never signed a prenup yet Deborah did not

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00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:08,040
Speaker 2: get anything in the divorce except for custody. My dad

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00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,240
Speaker 2: has connections, so I don't know what he will do

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Speaker 2: to a fair partner. I'm thinking of going no contact

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Speaker 2: with mom after I turn eighteen and go to college.

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Speaker 2: It's because I loved her for fourteen years and going

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Speaker 2: no contact is a scary thought.

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Speaker 1: So guys, what should I do? Should I go no contact?

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Speaker 2: You know what I think, before you make any of

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00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:25,760
Speaker 2: those decisions, you should just keep going to therapy.

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Speaker 1: Thee keep going to therapy m HM.

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00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,200
Speaker 2: And that is where you're not going to find out

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Speaker 2: whether you should go no contact with your mom until

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00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:33,080
Speaker 2: you go on there.

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Speaker 1: Edit.

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00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,800
Speaker 2: No, you're going to find out when in contact with

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Speaker 2: your mom in therapy.

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Speaker 1: But that's the end of that story. My stepmother treated

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00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:46,719
Speaker 1: me awfully. It ruined my relationship with my father collateral damage.

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Speaker 1: As the title says, this happened quite a few years

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00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:52,280
Speaker 1: ago when I thirty female was a kid, but the

390
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:55,199
Speaker 1: entitlement still stings. My parents were in the middle of

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Speaker 1: a nasty divorce. My dad had moved several hours away

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Speaker 1: and was now living with the other party because of

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Speaker 1: the divorce named in the solicitor's papers aka my stepmother.

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00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:08,600
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from mycologist false two three

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00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:10,480
Speaker 1: three two and if you want to smit your own stories,

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00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:13,320
Speaker 1: go to r slash Okay, storytime separate it. So, even

397
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:15,639
Speaker 1: though I was only a kid, I was semi aware

398
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,120
Speaker 1: of what was really going on. It wasn't the first

399
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,399
Speaker 1: time my dad had moved out because of another woman,

400
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,199
Speaker 1: but it was the first time the word divorce had

401
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:25,920
Speaker 1: been mentioned. In the past. He had always come home

402
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:29,240
Speaker 1: after a few weeks full of apologies. So when my

403
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:32,760
Speaker 1: stepmother first met me and loudly declared call me ma'am,

404
00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:36,240
Speaker 1: I was immediately in her bad books by saying, no,

405
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:39,120
Speaker 1: thank you. Come on, guys, what are we doing? Why

406
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,600
Speaker 1: are we asking new kids to call you mom?

407
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:42,360
Speaker 4: I'm your mom?

408
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:43,960
Speaker 1: Nay, I don't know.

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00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, well did you just shit?

410
00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:50,040
Speaker 1: They but her entitlement only got worse. While Dad was

411
00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,240
Speaker 1: in the process of moving in with my stepmother and

412
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:55,280
Speaker 1: sorting custody of me with mom and solicitors, he would

413
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:59,240
Speaker 1: sometimes take me out on day trips, but stepmother always

414
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:02,480
Speaker 1: came too, and I became her little project. I wasn't

415
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:04,720
Speaker 1: the prettiest kid, but my mom has always said I

416
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:07,520
Speaker 1: should enjoy being a kid and not worry about looks

417
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:10,679
Speaker 1: for now. In contrast, stepmother's kids, one older than me,

418
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,360
Speaker 1: one younger, both wore makeup and dressed like they were

419
00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:17,000
Speaker 1: going to a nightclub, and as stepmother's little project, I

420
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:18,920
Speaker 1: had to look like I was going club. In two

421
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:21,560
Speaker 1: my clothes would be removed as soon as she saw

422
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:24,240
Speaker 1: me and replaced with crop tops and mini skirts. She'd

423
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,320
Speaker 1: sit me down and force my hair into plats with

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00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:30,399
Speaker 1: hair gel. My original clothes would always conveniently go missing

425
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,160
Speaker 1: when it was home time, but my mom couldn't play

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00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:36,760
Speaker 1: that game with my new trashy clothes. If a single

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00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,840
Speaker 1: hair clip I had been forced to wear went missing,

428
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,920
Speaker 1: then Dad would be calling up my stepmother's behalf thinking

429
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:45,000
Speaker 1: about seless it as in peace for theft of property

430
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:48,280
Speaker 1: as a custody arrangement was eventually worked out as me

431
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,919
Speaker 1: living full time with Mom staying with Dad for the

432
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Speaker 1: school holidays, and that first and last week was rough

433
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:56,120
Speaker 1: on me. Well fairness, my dad did try to keep

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00:19:56,119 --> 00:19:58,600
Speaker 1: me entertained, but I wasn't used to living with other children.

435
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,320
Speaker 1: I was an only child at plus, sleeping in a

436
00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:03,960
Speaker 1: strange place after never being away from my mom for

437
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:08,320
Speaker 1: my whole life equals an uncomfortable situation. Through a few days,

438
00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 1: I confessed privately to my dad that I missed Mom.

439
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,880
Speaker 1: Now I can see how that would hurt his feelings,

440
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:17,040
Speaker 1: but I wasn't asking to go home. I was actually

441
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:20,600
Speaker 1: angling to use his mobile to call her. I'd used

442
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,360
Speaker 1: the stepmother's landline the day before, but she had hovered

443
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,440
Speaker 1: listening the whole time, and it just felt awkward. Had

444
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,400
Speaker 1: it looked upset but told me to go and eat

445
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,960
Speaker 1: some lunch, and off I went, and here's where stepmother's

446
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:36,399
Speaker 1: in tidal beabe you're exploded. Sitting next to my stepsister,

447
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:38,560
Speaker 1: I suddenly had a plate slapped down in front of

448
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:41,800
Speaker 1: me by my stepmother. There. I was confused, but said

449
00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:44,960
Speaker 1: thank you and started to eat. Throughout the meal, she

450
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:48,000
Speaker 1: started making snide comments in my direction while talking to

451
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:51,240
Speaker 1: her daughter, things like, ah, well that then, sweetheart, thie,

452
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:53,959
Speaker 1: you'll never disappoint me. I'm like somewhat. I know. I

453
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,040
Speaker 1: was a very timid kid, so I don't know where

454
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:58,359
Speaker 1: I got the burst of confidence to say something. But

455
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:02,640
Speaker 1: I said, is something and stepmother snapped back, you know what, uppy.

456
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,600
Speaker 1: Her father's very important to me and you've really hurt

457
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:08,399
Speaker 1: his ceilings. I tried to explain, but she snatched my

458
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:11,399
Speaker 1: plate and stalked out of the room. I followed her,

459
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,720
Speaker 1: still hungry, and tried to take my plate back, but

460
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:17,600
Speaker 1: she just unleashed on me. Standing in the hallway with

461
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:21,240
Speaker 1: this almost stranger screaming in my face. Is something I'm

462
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 1: never going to forget. I was apparently an ungrateful brat,

463
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:28,080
Speaker 1: and she washed her hands of me. I burst into

464
00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:33,040
Speaker 1: tears and completely shrank into myself as she just kept screaming,

465
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:37,040
Speaker 1: where is dad? Little reminder I was a child under

466
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,880
Speaker 1: ten years old and she was over thirty. My only

467
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,679
Speaker 1: crime was missing my mother. I honestly think that she

468
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:44,359
Speaker 1: should have been the adult here and had a bit

469
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 1: of empathy. How entitled you have to be to think

470
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,960
Speaker 1: it's okay to go crazy at a sobbing kid. So yeah,

471
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:53,320
Speaker 1: not something I'm likely to forget and results I got

472
00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:56,920
Speaker 1: taken home that day several hours driving with Dad sat

473
00:21:56,960 --> 00:22:01,000
Speaker 1: in total bun crushing silence. It did damage our relationship, unfortunately.

474
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,680
Speaker 1: It's one of the things favorite adjectives phone crushing. Yes,

475
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:05,120
Speaker 1: it's a good. One thing is that I don't think

476
00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:07,560
Speaker 1: your stepmom is damaging your relationship with the dad. I

477
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,560
Speaker 1: think your dad is damaging his relationship with you, that

478
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:13,199
Speaker 1: he's not standing up for you. Was he there? Like?

479
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,320
Speaker 1: Did he leave? Did he have to go to work? Like?

480
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,359
Speaker 1: What does he work at night? Like? What do we do?

481
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:18,800
Speaker 1: I think he was still there.

482
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:21,880
Speaker 2: I refuse to believe that dad was present to hear

483
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:26,719
Speaker 2: fully throated screaming at a child and did not step in,

484
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:29,159
Speaker 2: like he had to have been gone. Because also the

485
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:31,360
Speaker 2: stepmom sounds pretty opportunistic, So.

486
00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:33,920
Speaker 1: Maybe yeah, maybe she like went in on ope when

487
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:37,440
Speaker 1: he was gone, that's my guess. There's more. While stepmother

488
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,960
Speaker 1: was squawking the house down, I vivid remember seeing him

489
00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 1: through my waterfall of tears, standing at the top of

490
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:48,679
Speaker 1: the stairs, watching us and saying nothing. I have no

491
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:50,760
Speaker 1: idea what he said to my mom to explain why

492
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:53,480
Speaker 1: I was home two days early, but I never spoke

493
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,720
Speaker 1: to her about it. Today is actually the first time

494
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:58,440
Speaker 1: I've spoken about it, other than to my husband when

495
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:01,679
Speaker 1: we first met and were swapping off full family stories. Fortunately,

496
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:04,119
Speaker 1: the only two occasions I've seen my stepmother in the

497
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:08,120
Speaker 1: two decades since, I've been at family gatherings where we've

498
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:12,640
Speaker 1: happily ignored each other edit, just correcting some spelling mistakes

499
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:15,920
Speaker 1: and saying wow and thank you guys. Up until now,

500
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 1: I suppose I was gaslighting myself into thinking I somehow

501
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,320
Speaker 1: deserved her shouting at me like she did. I just

502
00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:24,320
Speaker 1: wanted to add a detail post blow up. The custody

503
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:28,040
Speaker 1: and arrangement changed after that day. I never stayed at

504
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:31,760
Speaker 1: or visited stepmother's house again. Instead, it was agreed that

505
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:34,160
Speaker 1: Dad would pick me up from school every other Friday

506
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,680
Speaker 1: and we would stay with his parents until Sunday afternoon

507
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,879
Speaker 1: when he dropped me back with Mom, And honestly, it

508
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:43,160
Speaker 1: was always awkward from there, mostly because I was resentful

509
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:45,680
Speaker 1: that he didn't jump in and defend me against stepmother.

510
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:50,120
Speaker 1: I still don't know why he didn't, as he had

511
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:53,920
Speaker 1: always and still does if he get getting sentimental. But

512
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,119
Speaker 1: if anyone spoke to me like that or ever hurt me,

513
00:23:56,280 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 1: he'd beat them up. See where my gas slighting comes from.

514
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 1: He always said he'd be on my side, so the

515
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 1: fact that he wasn't must mean I really deserved it,

516
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 1: et cetera, et cetera. Also, my dad and stepmother weren't

517
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 1: married at the time of the entitlement explosion. They got

518
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 1: married a few months later on holiday abroad. I wasn't invited,

519
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,879
Speaker 1: but my invitation arrived only a week before they were

520
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 1: due to leave.

521
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:18,840
Speaker 2: And it was half hearted at that.

522
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,399
Speaker 1: Dad blamed the solicitors for not delivering the message quickly enough.

523
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:25,119
Speaker 1: Even though they were divorced by then, the situation was

524
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:28,919
Speaker 1: still very hostile and messages were passed via solicitors for

525
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,440
Speaker 1: about a year post divorce. Mom was keen to keep

526
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:34,920
Speaker 1: things official for a while as Dad tended to get

527
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:38,800
Speaker 1: overly and loudly offended at everything. One time he dropped

528
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,240
Speaker 1: me off with mom, they started arguing and her new

529
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:45,160
Speaker 1: boyfriend got involved. Then the following week, a solicitor's letter

530
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:49,080
Speaker 1: appeared claiming their party had been injured by their mom.

531
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:52,040
Speaker 1: Wasn't keen on me attending their wedding. Too many horror

532
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:55,280
Speaker 1: stories of kids getting abducted by a parent during or

533
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:58,680
Speaker 1: following a divorce, So I said no, thank you and

534
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 1: didn't go. I half looked out of place anyway. Full disclosure,

535
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:07,399
Speaker 1: Though I still love my dad. We get on well

536
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 1: when we chat via text occasionally, but we don't see

537
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:11,920
Speaker 1: each other much. I just don't like the majority of

538
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:16,439
Speaker 1: his choices, stepmother being a big fat one. Literally. Dad

539
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 1: always used to gloat about she was to my mom.

540
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:22,239
Speaker 1: How he traded up about her stomach was flatten, her

541
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:25,439
Speaker 1: belly button pierced, whereas my skinny mom still had a

542
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:28,720
Speaker 1: saggy belly from having me. Stepmother, of course, reveled in

543
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,920
Speaker 1: his compliments. I always remember her swinging her red hair

544
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 1: around in a really exaggerated way whenever he set out

545
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:40,360
Speaker 1: gorgeous she was. She's like, oh, I'm so pretty interesting.

546
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 1: Tables have turned, though, over two decades later, and my

547
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 1: mom looks exactly the same as she did back then,

548
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,680
Speaker 1: except for gray hair. But Stepmother is now rather big

549
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:53,520
Speaker 1: and her red hair is now really red, clearly out

550
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,119
Speaker 1: of a box. The two occasions in two decades that

551
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:59,200
Speaker 1: I've seen stepmother went like this. The first was a

552
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:03,200
Speaker 1: family party for grandparents' sixtieth anniversary. In front of everyone,

553
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:06,240
Speaker 1: she exclaimed apie and kissed my cheeks like she was

554
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:09,200
Speaker 1: thrilled to see me nor me when everyone stopped looking.

555
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:12,640
Speaker 1: My grandparents are very proud people and clearly didn't tell

556
00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:15,760
Speaker 1: extended relatives that their son had got divorced and remarried

557
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:16,680
Speaker 1: two decades.

558
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:19,639
Speaker 2: Hmmm, I don't know. Maybe they know, and then people

559
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 2: just weren't saying anything. I'm thinking that maybe Dad low

560
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,360
Speaker 2: key was like, all right, I'm just picking new family

561
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:28,160
Speaker 2: over my daughter, but then also made it like I'm

562
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:30,359
Speaker 2: gonna make it so that my daughter never has to

563
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 2: experience that again. But also I'm not gonna be brave

564
00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 2: enough to just straight up tell my wife she was

565
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:41,040
Speaker 2: way here's the line. You are way out of line

566
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 2: talking to my kid like that. We don't know if

567
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:44,520
Speaker 2: that happened, but it's like, yeah, whatever.

568
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,880
Speaker 1: For the whole day, people kept saying to me, oh,

569
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:49,240
Speaker 1: your blank's daughter. Your mom looks so different, her red

570
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:52,280
Speaker 1: hair looks interesting. And I had great fun repeating the

571
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:55,639
Speaker 1: phrase that's definitely not my mom. Dad left her for

572
00:26:55,680 --> 00:27:00,560
Speaker 1: that one. Wait, people thought that your mom was They

573
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:05,000
Speaker 1: knew your mom, but thought that your mom who looked

574
00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:07,800
Speaker 1: like your stepmom. Now, ooh, who are these people? The family,

575
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:10,640
Speaker 1: the extended family members at like at the grandparents sixtieth

576
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:13,600
Speaker 1: wedding anniversary, they had met Opie's mom before. How close

577
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:14,879
Speaker 1: were you really to these people? Like?

578
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 2: How much do you need to care? They don't even

579
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:17,879
Speaker 2: know what your mom even looks like.

580
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 1: Craz never found out if dad or stepmother heard. I

581
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 1: avoided them throughout and left early. You should never leave

582
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,760
Speaker 1: early because we have so many full episodes with stories

583
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:31,000
Speaker 1: just like this waiting for you. Just go to Spotify,

584
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search a book a story time,

585
00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:35,639
Speaker 1: but there is a little bit more to the story.

586
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:36,960
Speaker 1: Any final thoughts.

587
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 2: I certainly wouldn't let a woman screaming at my child

588
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:42,320
Speaker 2: for no reason get away with it.

589
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:46,360
Speaker 1: The second time was my wedding. Stepmother was absolutely not invited.

590
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:49,240
Speaker 1: It was just meant to be a tiny ceremony parents only,

591
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:51,840
Speaker 1: but Dad called a few days before and impleaded just

592
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,400
Speaker 1: for the ceremony, not the reception. Don't worry, you won't

593
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 1: know she's there. Highly doubt that with her behavior, I

594
00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 1: highly doubt that we won't know that she's there. For

595
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 1: some background, my mother in law had already be kind

596
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:07,159
Speaker 1: of taken over parents' only wedding suddenly included a lot

597
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:11,080
Speaker 1: of her relatives, so I just shrugged. Whatever, nothing's really

598
00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 1: how I wanted anyway, so why not. True to his word,

599
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:17,400
Speaker 1: Dad and stepmother didn't interact with anyone and left immediately after,

600
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:21,360
Speaker 1: although stepmother couldn't resist a tiny flash of entitlement by

601
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:24,240
Speaker 1: bringing her own camera. Note, my mom didn't attend the

602
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:27,119
Speaker 1: wedding after hearing that my dad was invited. Also, she

603
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:29,720
Speaker 1: was very ill at the time, so she obviously didn't

604
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 1: want Dad to see her that way. But we visited

605
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:34,240
Speaker 1: her after the sception and I gave her my bouquet,

606
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:35,879
Speaker 1: which was nice. Nice.

607
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:39,280
Speaker 2: I think in like a really sort of cowardly and

608
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:42,800
Speaker 2: misguided way, the dad thought he was doing what was

609
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:47,440
Speaker 2: best for op because immediately like that, clearly action was taken.

610
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:52,120
Speaker 2: Because the custody arrangement immediately changed after that interaction with

611
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,840
Speaker 2: the screaming happened, and she had said something about how

612
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:58,240
Speaker 2: she missed Mom, which, dude, if you're a father in

613
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 2: a divorced parent situation, you have to understand it.

614
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 1: Hey's Sam.

615
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:04,560
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three

616
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 2: minutes of bads from our sponsors. I planned a party

617
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:10,959
Speaker 2: for my mother, but my sister just had to ruin it.

618
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 3: She's a freaking party pooper.

619
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 2: I female twenties have been planning my mom's Sarah's birthday

620
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 2: milestone for the past year. She and I have a

621
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:23,800
Speaker 2: pretty much non existent relationship with one another, but despite this,

622
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:26,080
Speaker 2: it has always been a dream of hers to have

623
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:29,680
Speaker 2: a big party to celebrate this particular birthday, which she

624
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 2: wanted all her children to be involved in planning, and

625
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 2: given all the sacrifices she made for us growing up, it's.

626
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 1: The least I could do.

627
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:40,120
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user own Violinist sixty seven,

628
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 2: sixty eight, and if you want to submit your own stories,

629
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:45,360
Speaker 2: go to the r slash owcase storytime suvered it do.

630
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:48,960
Speaker 2: Last year, I asked my siblings female twenties and male

631
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:52,200
Speaker 2: twenties if they would like to help out with planning something.

632
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,480
Speaker 2: My brother Liam said he would rather not be involved

633
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:59,920
Speaker 2: because he has ongoing problems with Sarah. My sister, Lisa's

634
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 2: said she also had no interest in being involved because

635
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:07,440
Speaker 2: Sarah didn't throw her a four thousand plus dollar baby

636
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 2: shower for her second baby. I mean, hey, I demand

637
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:14,160
Speaker 2: four thousand dollars as tribute mother, Mama.

638
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:16,840
Speaker 1: Give me four thousand dollars for all of my babies.

639
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 1: I chose not to push things more.

640
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:21,880
Speaker 2: I respected their decisions, did my research, and settled on

641
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 2: a luxury weekend for Sarah. Are two godmothers and five

642
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 2: other aunts. The budget for this was quite generous, not

643
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:33,080
Speaker 2: including their gifts. I paid for everything myself because Lisa

644
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:36,320
Speaker 2: and Liam had been clear about wanting no involvement. The

645
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 2: only other people that were involved were one of my

646
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:43,000
Speaker 2: godmothers and a paternal aunt. Coordinating everyone's schedules required it.

647
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 2: In terms of who knew what the plans were, the

648
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 2: only person I told directly was Sarah's sister. Well, I

649
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:53,440
Speaker 2: found out that Lisa has been telling everyone about the plans,

650
00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:56,800
Speaker 2: which were one supposed to be a surprise, and two

651
00:30:56,880 --> 00:31:01,160
Speaker 2: she had nothing to do with. According to Lisa, she

652
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:05,160
Speaker 2: single handedly planned and paid for everything because Liam and

653
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 2: I are selfish. I was told this by one of

654
00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:12,520
Speaker 2: my aunts, and my cousin corroborated the information. Funny enough,

655
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:15,160
Speaker 2: Lisa messaged me to find out if I was still

656
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 2: going ahead with the plans for Sarah, and given the timing,

657
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:21,960
Speaker 2: I don't doubt she has been telling everyone these lies.

658
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:26,720
Speaker 2: She has also been insistent that I spend additional money

659
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:29,520
Speaker 2: to hire a makeup artist and hairstylist and pay twenty

660
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:32,400
Speaker 2: four hundred dollars for theater tickets on top of everything,

661
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:35,560
Speaker 2: because it's a better idea. To be clear, the agenda

662
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:38,680
Speaker 2: is a luxury spa weekend with access to full facilities,

663
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 2: afternoon tea, a private five star dinner, and two hour

664
00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:47,080
Speaker 2: long massage sessions each. In addition to this, everyone was

665
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:50,720
Speaker 2: receiving a luxury gift, Sarah is getting a designer handback,

666
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:54,040
Speaker 2: and the godmothers and aunts were getting designer purses. I

667
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:57,000
Speaker 2: would have been fine with Lisa asking to be involved,

668
00:31:57,160 --> 00:31:59,800
Speaker 2: even if she was not contributing to the costs. My

669
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:03,320
Speaker 2: issue is that she has been dishonest with everyone and

670
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:05,640
Speaker 2: is now trying to change what I have spent over

671
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 2: six months properly organizing without spoiling things for the birthday ladies.

672
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,920
Speaker 2: I will admit I'm frustrated because Sarah has heard about

673
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:16,800
Speaker 2: everything and believes that Lisa is the one who planned

674
00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 2: and paid for the weekend and that I'm being selfish

675
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:22,719
Speaker 2: because of our falling out. So now is when you

676
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:26,080
Speaker 2: just go, here's the receipts. Hey, hey, here's this really

677
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 2: cool bank statement. You want to look at it.

678
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 1: Look at the money, follow the paper trail. Come on.

679
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:35,360
Speaker 2: It hurt to hear what Sarah truly thought about me

680
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:37,840
Speaker 2: from Liam, but she thinks about the priest.

681
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:38,479
Speaker 5: Donn alive?

682
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:41,040
Speaker 1: Be good dingity doodle leap.

683
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:44,080
Speaker 2: When you realize people are being informed by deceit and

684
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:48,040
Speaker 2: you have the truth, the truth shouts that you free.

685
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:50,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, just show the truth anyway.

686
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:53,479
Speaker 2: Eh. It's also frustrating because despite how awful Sarah has

687
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:56,360
Speaker 2: been in the past, I remembered how important this was

688
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:58,440
Speaker 2: to her and have tried to make the effort. I

689
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:00,760
Speaker 2: have no intention of taking credit. I want to throw

690
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:03,280
Speaker 2: this now. Why people were worried I was gonna throw

691
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:05,560
Speaker 2: it earlier, Now I'm actually gonna throw.

692
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 1: It because what is why ap?

693
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:10,760
Speaker 2: Why Liam said he would tell Sarah it was me

694
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:13,560
Speaker 2: who arranged all of it and that Lisa is a

695
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 2: lying cow. Part of me wants to cancel it all

696
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:19,480
Speaker 2: and let Lisa explain what happened. The other part is

697
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 2: telling me to just go along with it and be

698
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:23,440
Speaker 2: the bigger person. Would I be the a hole for

699
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:24,480
Speaker 2: canceling the weekend?

700
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:25,560
Speaker 1: Yes? You would.

701
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:27,600
Speaker 2: It might be important to note that these are not

702
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:30,600
Speaker 2: their only birthday plans. All eight of them have booked

703
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 2: a week long holiday abroad to celebrate together. Regardless of

704
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:37,040
Speaker 2: what happens with my arrangements, they will still have a celebration,

705
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 2: and there is an update. You would be totally the

706
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:42,880
Speaker 2: a hole if you canceled the weekend. You would be

707
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 2: an a hole to yourself and to everyone else if

708
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:48,960
Speaker 2: you don't just go, hey, actually she's lying.

709
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 1: I did this. I think I'm a little bit confused,

710
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 1: quite truthfully. Who's what's this weekend? Lisa?

711
00:33:55,880 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 2: This is like birthday super Birthday weekend extravaganza from Milestone Birthday.

712
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:03,480
Speaker 2: I'm guessing it's like fifty or sixty zero or something,

713
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:06,080
Speaker 2: and this was supposed to be a secret birthday that

714
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:07,240
Speaker 2: OHP spent all.

715
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:08,920
Speaker 1: This money in time planning and preparing.

716
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:11,480
Speaker 2: I got the keeping a secret, and now Lisa's going

717
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,440
Speaker 2: I did it, and oh peace be.

718
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:19,279
Speaker 1: Mean before we cancel everything for everyone, I think we

719
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:22,720
Speaker 1: just say, hey, y'all, that's not true.

720
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:24,960
Speaker 2: I don't know why Lisa's been saying that she's been

721
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:26,839
Speaker 2: the one planning this, but it's not true, and it's

722
00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:29,080
Speaker 2: been me, And since mom already knows about the.

723
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:30,920
Speaker 1: Secret, I just want to put it out there. I

724
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,640
Speaker 1: just don't understand why we would like punish everyone for

725
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:35,799
Speaker 1: someone's one person's lie.

726
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:38,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're like, I'm being the bigger person by ruining

727
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:41,920
Speaker 2: everyone's trip instead of just being like, my sister's lying.

728
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,960
Speaker 2: That's weird. Anyways, let's move on. Yeah, it doesn't have

729
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:46,480
Speaker 2: to be like a she's lying.

730
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:48,879
Speaker 1: Let's could just be like, hey, like, I think there's

731
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:53,080
Speaker 1: been some kind of miscommunication. I paid for everything here, Jesus,

732
00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 1: I can't.

733
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:56,959
Speaker 2: If you're this non confrontational, it's an issue you need

734
00:34:57,000 --> 00:35:00,759
Speaker 2: to learn how to confront moments of conflict disagreement in

735
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:04,319
Speaker 2: your life. Lisa's actively lying about something you're doing, if

736
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:07,520
Speaker 2: you just need to say that full stop everything else,

737
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:10,800
Speaker 2: just say she's lying. Here's the update, though, I decided

738
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:13,600
Speaker 2: to cancel part of the weekend. I did not think

739
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:15,680
Speaker 2: it was fair that the others would be missing out

740
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:19,800
Speaker 2: due to Lisa and Sarah. Yeah, after speaking with the hotel,

741
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:22,560
Speaker 2: they were happy to cancel the rooms, dinner and fully

742
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:25,800
Speaker 2: refund me. The SPA has a different policy, and because

743
00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:28,160
Speaker 2: I paid for sixteen hours of SPA time, they were

744
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:31,080
Speaker 2: only willing to either fully refund me with gift vouchers

745
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:33,200
Speaker 2: meaning they would have a year to use them on

746
00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:36,760
Speaker 2: an alternative date, or partially refund me for eight hours

747
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:39,920
Speaker 2: and gift voucher the rest. Alternatively, I could keep the

748
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:42,560
Speaker 2: booking without them being guests and they would still have

749
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:45,600
Speaker 2: their day pass for the SPA facilities. I have chosen

750
00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:48,279
Speaker 2: not to cancel the SPA due to this. They will

751
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:51,560
Speaker 2: have an afternoon tea and SPA day. Okay, so it's

752
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:54,840
Speaker 2: still a weekend, just not as elaborate of a weekend.

753
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:57,880
Speaker 2: Everyone will still be receiving the gifts I bought. I

754
00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 2: had already purchased them in advance, as it is too

755
00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 2: much effort to now try and return them. There have

756
00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:06,640
Speaker 2: been some developments about the situation, which I will explain further.

757
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:10,080
Speaker 2: As it stands, I have now cut off Lisa, not

758
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:12,120
Speaker 2: really due to the situation, but because of some other

759
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:15,400
Speaker 2: things mentioned. Sarah has tried to apologize to me. Liam

760
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:17,799
Speaker 2: has told her that I am not interested in her

761
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:19,759
Speaker 2: apology and that this will be the last time she

762
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:21,320
Speaker 2: hears from me in a while.

763
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:25,279
Speaker 1: While we know Sarah is Opie's mom, Lisa's Opie's sister,

764
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 1: Opie is thrown this big old thing for her mom

765
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:32,840
Speaker 1: and for some other aunts and family members. Okay, Lisa

766
00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 1: lies and says, I I plan this.

767
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 2: I've got it right here. So not only did she

768
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:41,440
Speaker 2: not actually hear that, she's hearing it secondhand from her brother.

769
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:45,839
Speaker 2: And she's only saying this because she's informing that off

770
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:48,800
Speaker 2: of Oh she's acting this way, it must be because

771
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:51,239
Speaker 2: we had that falling out, not because that's not how

772
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:51,760
Speaker 2: she really.

773
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,120
Speaker 1: Thinks about you. This is in the context of a lie.

774
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 2: Other family members got involved, and the divide is painfully obvious.

775
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 2: My paternal side agree with my choices, my maternal side

776
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:06,239
Speaker 2: not so much. I don't really care about what they

777
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 2: think at this point.

778
00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:08,920
Speaker 1: Here's some more developments.

779
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,000
Speaker 2: A couple of days ago, I spent the day with

780
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:14,240
Speaker 2: my paternal aunt that had initially helped me to arrange

781
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:17,360
Speaker 2: the schedules. She told me that she had heard Lisa

782
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:20,640
Speaker 2: had been talking badly about me to some relatives. Now

783
00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:24,000
Speaker 2: to confirm, Lisa and I did not have any apparent

784
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:27,000
Speaker 2: ongoing issues with one another before all of this happened.

785
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:30,879
Speaker 2: We have had disagreements and reconciled in the past, as

786
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:34,040
Speaker 2: is expected in my family, and I mostly did so

787
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:36,839
Speaker 2: because I have a nephew who doesn't like not being

788
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:39,480
Speaker 2: able to speak with me. Think of the children, Good job, Opie.

789
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:42,879
Speaker 2: There is speculation amongst relatives that she is jealous about

790
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:45,839
Speaker 2: the fact I'm having a baby, potentially a girl. All

791
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:48,000
Speaker 2: the other babies that have been born into the family

792
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:51,960
Speaker 2: Sarah's grandchildren included, have been boys. If I have a girl,

793
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:55,080
Speaker 2: she will be the first granddaughter and great granddaughter. Now

794
00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:57,160
Speaker 2: that this has been mentioned, it kind of makes sense

795
00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:59,759
Speaker 2: because Lisa was off when I told her that I

796
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:00,799
Speaker 2: would pregnant, Like.

797
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:01,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, kind of.

798
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:03,719
Speaker 2: Now that I say that, it makes sense that when

799
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:06,360
Speaker 2: I told her I was pregnant full time, she turned

800
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:10,239
Speaker 2: bright red and steam started to come out of her ears. Yah,

801
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:12,279
Speaker 2: and she said, I'm gonna get you for this. I'm

802
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:15,280
Speaker 2: gonna get my pretty It's starting to make sense now.

803
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then she flew off on a broomstick and

804
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:19,720
Speaker 1: stole my dog.

805
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 2: She made a disgusted noise and called me problematic. Are

806
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 2: you sure she didn't just mumble the word pregnant. She

807
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:28,160
Speaker 2: was also making a point of saying that her children

808
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 2: are the best grandchildren and the favorites. Lisa is not

809
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:35,759
Speaker 2: entirely wrong about that. Part of the reason Sarah and

810
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:38,600
Speaker 2: I do not speak now is because of how she

811
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:42,440
Speaker 2: treated my son, her second born grandchild. Months after I

812
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:46,320
Speaker 2: had him, Lisa miraculously fell pregnant with her second child.

813
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:49,560
Speaker 2: Sarah was responsible for arranging a separate first birthday from

814
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 2: my son because my relatives were being difficult about making

815
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:55,279
Speaker 2: the journey to where I live, even though I constantly

816
00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:57,799
Speaker 2: made it to them so that they could see my son.

817
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:00,520
Speaker 2: It turned out to not be a party for my son.

818
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:03,640
Speaker 2: It was, in fact for Lisa. This led to me

819
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:07,320
Speaker 2: calling Sarah out on a load of issues and cutting contact.

820
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:09,520
Speaker 2: I do not know the full extent of what has

821
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 2: been said because no one has told me anything. My

822
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:14,840
Speaker 2: aunt said. It is likely to upset me if I

823
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:18,120
Speaker 2: found out. I mentioned the situation with Lisa and Sarah

824
00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:21,080
Speaker 2: to see what she thought she was not pleased about

825
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 2: any of it, and has made contact with both Sarah

826
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 2: and Lisa. She plans on coming over next week to

827
00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:30,239
Speaker 2: talk to me in person about what happens. My aunt

828
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 2: thinks Lisa has done this because Sarah wants to be

829
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:35,920
Speaker 2: involved with my children. Apparently she has been devastated ever

830
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 2: since I called her out on things after that party

831
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:40,719
Speaker 2: two years ago. She realized she crossed the line and

832
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:43,400
Speaker 2: the only reason I had reconciled with her was because

833
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:45,880
Speaker 2: I wanted my son to have a relationship with his grandparent.

834
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 2: She ruined it for herself by saying I didn't care

835
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:51,000
Speaker 2: enough to make an effort for her birthday. Sarah might

836
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 2: have changed her mind about me. What Sarah might have

837
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:54,120
Speaker 2: changed her mind about me?

838
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 1: What do you mean?

839
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 2: Lisa would get to keep Sarah to herself, which means

840
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:00,920
Speaker 2: more money spent on her.

841
00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:05,640
Speaker 1: Like Lisa is perhaps trying to destroy the already fraught

842
00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:08,399
Speaker 1: bond between Sarah and Ope so that she can get

843
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:11,960
Speaker 1: more money spent on her by Sarah. Yeah, so maybe

844
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:12,759
Speaker 1: it was supposed to be.

845
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:16,240
Speaker 2: Lisa saying I didn't care enough to make an effort

846
00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:19,439
Speaker 2: for her birthday means Sarah might have changed her mind

847
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:21,960
Speaker 2: about me. Lisa would get to keep Sarah to herself,

848
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:24,399
Speaker 2: which means more money spent yeah on her.

849
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:27,560
Speaker 1: Basically, Opia is saying, I think that Lisa lied because

850
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:30,040
Speaker 1: she wanted Sarah to spend all of the money right.

851
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:33,600
Speaker 2: She wants Sarah to be number one grandma for her kids.

852
00:40:33,719 --> 00:40:38,239
Speaker 2: And by the way, you can spend more time listening

853
00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:42,960
Speaker 2: to full episodes with stories just like this on Spotify. iHeartRadio,

854
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 2: Apple podcasts wherever you listen to stories or podcast search. Okay,

855
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:52,600
Speaker 2: story time, and you have fifty four days now, fifty

856
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:56,239
Speaker 2: four days if I sum correze. But we don't have

857
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 2: fifty four days of story left.

858
00:40:57,560 --> 00:40:59,120
Speaker 1: We only have a little bit of story left.

859
00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:02,440
Speaker 2: And I think you know this story has gone.

860
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:04,680
Speaker 1: Twisty turney, up and down, left and right.

861
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:06,680
Speaker 2: I'm not sure what's going on, but I do know

862
00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 2: one thing with absolute certainty, and what is that You

863
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:12,759
Speaker 2: should have just called Lisa out when you learned she

864
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:13,520
Speaker 2: was lying.

865
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:17,879
Speaker 1: This was a two miners out man text message right

866
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:19,000
Speaker 1: up in a group chat.

867
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:21,399
Speaker 2: Looking back on all of this, I don't know why

868
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:24,640
Speaker 2: I even bothered trying to do something for Sarah. If anything,

869
00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:27,040
Speaker 2: I am more disgusted by Lisa and Sarah. Now that

870
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:29,480
Speaker 2: things are coming to light, I had forgotten a lot

871
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 2: of how I was treated by Sarah due to postpartum

872
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:35,000
Speaker 2: depression and the constant gas lighting from my maternal side.

873
00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:37,719
Speaker 2: This whole thing has made it so clear to me

874
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,960
Speaker 2: they're all toxic. I do not want any of them

875
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:43,200
Speaker 2: in my life except for Liam, and.

876
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:44,080
Speaker 1: That is the end of that story.

877
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:45,840
Speaker 2: And honestly, it sounds like Liam might be one of

878
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:47,759
Speaker 2: the most toxic people in your life because he is

879
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:49,879
Speaker 2: the one who told you that your mom said that,

880
00:41:50,239 --> 00:41:52,319
Speaker 2: even though it was based on a lie. I feel

881
00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:55,520
Speaker 2: like there's more information we're not getting about Ope's dynamic

882
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:58,560
Speaker 2: with her mother. Yeah. That would probably really inform us

883
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:03,000
Speaker 2: as to why she was so oh quick to be like,

884
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:05,360
Speaker 2: all right, I'm done. I heard you say one thing about.

885
00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:06,600
Speaker 1: Me by on my back. It's just a really bad Yeah.

886
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:08,319
Speaker 1: I think it was already a really bad relationship. Yeah.

887
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:10,560
Speaker 1: I think that's why we're not fully clued in onto that.

888
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:15,360
Speaker 3: My husband's family keeps excluding my daughter. So I stopped

889
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:16,560
Speaker 3: treating them as one.

890
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:17,680
Speaker 1: They don't deserve it.

891
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:21,600
Speaker 3: February first, twenty twenty five, I thirty eight female and

892
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:24,200
Speaker 3: my husband fifty male, have been married for ten years

893
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:27,440
Speaker 3: and have a one year old daughter together. He has

894
00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:29,880
Speaker 3: a son thirty male and a daughter twenty eight female

895
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:32,279
Speaker 3: from a previous marriage. Since my husband and I have

896
00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:36,120
Speaker 3: been together, I've always bought his children's birthday presents, Christmas presents,

897
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:39,359
Speaker 3: and gifts and cards for every holiday. By the way,

898
00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:42,000
Speaker 3: this comes from Miss de Lulu Land and if you

899
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:43,520
Speaker 3: want to submit your own stories, go to the ur

900
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:46,440
Speaker 3: slash Okay story Time a separated it. They have always

901
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:50,560
Speaker 3: made snag comments about me being too festive, but my

902
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:54,399
Speaker 3: love language is gift giving. Well, they both have children now.

903
00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:56,959
Speaker 3: His son has three children under the age of five,

904
00:42:57,040 --> 00:43:00,160
Speaker 3: and his daughter has twin two year old daughters. This

905
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:02,840
Speaker 3: past Christmas, his daughter and her husband hosted our family

906
00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:06,960
Speaker 3: Christmas party. During the gift exchange, each household exchanged the

907
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:10,239
Speaker 3: gift that they bought for the other households. For context,

908
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:13,239
Speaker 3: his children have never bought Christmas presents for me, which

909
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:15,640
Speaker 3: I'm fine with. I have always been the one to

910
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:18,919
Speaker 3: purchase the gifts for my step children and my step grandchildren,

911
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:22,839
Speaker 3: while my husband gives the adult kids gift cards. So

912
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:25,000
Speaker 3: while the gifts were being passed out, it quickly became

913
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:27,080
Speaker 3: a parent that this year, they not only didn't buy

914
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:29,640
Speaker 3: anything for me, but nothing for my one year old daughter,

915
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:33,160
Speaker 3: their half sister either. So everyone at the party had

916
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:36,560
Speaker 3: gifts to open. My husband, my step son and his wife,

917
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:38,160
Speaker 3: their three sons, my.

918
00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:42,440
Speaker 1: Stepdaughter, her husband, and twin daughters had all bought for

919
00:43:42,480 --> 00:43:45,000
Speaker 1: each other, and I had bought for all of them,

920
00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 1: but not one person bought anything for their baby sister.

921
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:54,400
Speaker 3: I gathered my things and my daughter and we left. Afterwards,

922
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:56,319
Speaker 3: I told my husband that I had never been made

923
00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:58,759
Speaker 3: to feel like part of the family, and that's one thing,

924
00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:01,239
Speaker 3: but for them to exclude their own half sister, who

925
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:05,920
Speaker 3: is part of their blood is completely different thing. I

926
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:08,359
Speaker 3: told them I will never spend a dime on his

927
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:12,719
Speaker 3: family because they are not mine. Also, they decided to

928
00:44:12,719 --> 00:44:16,360
Speaker 3: do a family photoshoot and didn't include my daughter. So

929
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:19,480
Speaker 3: am I the a hole? And there are some comments.

930
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:21,319
Speaker 1: But what do you think. I don't think you're the

931
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 1: a hole for like bringing up that concern. I think

932
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:27,600
Speaker 1: that like because I feel like the present thing in

933
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:30,680
Speaker 1: concern to the one year old feels it like she's

934
00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:33,680
Speaker 1: not gonna remember, So I think it's just saying, like, hey,

935
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:36,960
Speaker 1: I feel excluded you know, right right.

936
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:40,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do think like it's a little petty to

937
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:43,319
Speaker 3: just leave right away and to like already make this

938
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 3: decision that you're not gonna do this. But I mean,

939
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:47,600
Speaker 3: I guess if you've been feeling like this.

940
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:49,440
Speaker 1: For a while. But I think that's the thing. I

941
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:51,799
Speaker 1: think that's why I'm saying, like it feels more like

942
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:52,760
Speaker 1: you are being.

943
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:56,879
Speaker 3: Excluded, right right, So I get that, but I think

944
00:44:57,400 --> 00:45:00,040
Speaker 3: you know, we always have a conversation first, but I

945
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 3: can't no, honestly. The one says your husband never said

946
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:06,440
Speaker 3: anything to you never getting gifts from them? What was

947
00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:09,440
Speaker 3: your husband's reaction to your child getting no gifts? What

948
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:12,240
Speaker 3: was his reaction to what you told him? Your husband

949
00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:15,960
Speaker 3: is as much of the problem, it seems, Opie says, No,

950
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,719
Speaker 3: my husband never commented on them never getting anything from me,

951
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:20,960
Speaker 3: but he did say that he was upset how they

952
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:24,520
Speaker 3: treated the baby, but not to them. He hasn't brought

953
00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:26,960
Speaker 3: it up to his adult children. Yes, he is part

954
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:29,360
Speaker 3: of the problem. He has never set boundaries with his children,

955
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:34,400
Speaker 3: nor advocated or equal respect. Alarming paper eighty three fifty

956
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 3: seven says, no more gifts. You tried, but you're done

957
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:40,319
Speaker 3: with them after ten years, you would think they'd get

958
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:40,840
Speaker 3: a clue.

959
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:41,880
Speaker 1: Just curious.

960
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:44,080
Speaker 3: Were you the reason that your husband broke up with

961
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:46,319
Speaker 3: his ex wife? If so, that may be why they're

962
00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:49,080
Speaker 3: so hostile and honestly, I'd write them both a letter

963
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 3: and explain that you have been handling gifts for your

964
00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:54,840
Speaker 3: husband's family for ten years, but will no longer be

965
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:57,200
Speaker 3: doing so after the way they treated their half sister

966
00:45:57,400 --> 00:46:00,799
Speaker 3: during the holidays. Any gift requests, et cetera should be

967
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:03,600
Speaker 3: directed towards your husband, and your husband is an a

968
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:06,160
Speaker 3: hole for letting them get away with this bs for

969
00:46:06,239 --> 00:46:09,719
Speaker 3: ten years. Let him know that he's on his own

970
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:12,719
Speaker 3: from now on for birthdays and holidays. You are done

971
00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:15,759
Speaker 3: with them, and Opie responds No, He and their mother

972
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:19,840
Speaker 3: divorced when his son thirty male was seven and daughter

973
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:22,840
Speaker 3: twenty eight female was five. He and I started dating

974
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:25,719
Speaker 3: when they were sixteen and eighteen, So, yeah, lots of

975
00:46:25,719 --> 00:46:29,400
Speaker 3: time had passed. Yeah, we do have an update. So

976
00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:34,120
Speaker 3: February sixteenth, twenty twenty five, fifteen days later, Well, I

977
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:36,600
Speaker 3: had a long talk with my husband again after reading

978
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:38,920
Speaker 3: all the responses I got his opinion is that his

979
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:42,120
Speaker 3: children have no opinion of our age difference. However, they

980
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:44,160
Speaker 3: just don't consider me part of their family, and he

981
00:46:44,239 --> 00:46:47,520
Speaker 3: doesn't think that they look at our daughter as their sister,

982
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:50,680
Speaker 3: which I completely respect because they are entitled to their

983
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:53,120
Speaker 3: own opinions as well as their own feelings. With me

984
00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:57,960
Speaker 3: respecting their feelings. Comes they're no longer part of my family,

985
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:01,120
Speaker 3: I will act accordingly as.

986
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:04,319
Speaker 1: Just their father's wife. As for my daughter, she is

987
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:05,800
Speaker 1: just that my daughter.

988
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:08,640
Speaker 3: Valentine's Day has come and gone, and I did not

989
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:12,040
Speaker 3: get a thing for his children or grandchildren. I splurged

990
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:15,239
Speaker 3: on my daughter and it felt really great. I did

991
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:17,600
Speaker 3: remind him a week before Valentine's Day that it was

992
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:20,960
Speaker 3: coming up and that his grandkids would probably be expecting something.

993
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:25,120
Speaker 3: He neither bought anything for his children, nor his grandchildren,

994
00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:27,480
Speaker 3: nor our daughter, and he didn't buy anything from me

995
00:47:27,680 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 3: as well.

996
00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:30,920
Speaker 1: This is an issue. Didn't buy anything for you for

997
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:34,200
Speaker 1: Valentine's Start. Yeah, not getting anything for the kids, I

998
00:47:34,239 --> 00:47:36,799
Speaker 1: honestly understand. Yeah, I get it likely Valentine's Day.

999
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:39,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like part of I'm almost thinking, like when they

1000
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:42,759
Speaker 3: were saying you're too festive, I wonder if if that's

1001
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:45,120
Speaker 3: a very nice way of them trying to say.

1002
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:47,040
Speaker 1: Like you get gifts for every holiday.

1003
00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:49,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, like you get gifts, and I feel guilty aboutno

1004
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:52,120
Speaker 3: getting you gifts, So I'm gonna put that idea out

1005
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:54,480
Speaker 3: there that it's just a too festive thing, so I

1006
00:47:54,520 --> 00:47:57,560
Speaker 3: don't I'm not expected to also give gifts. He made

1007
00:47:57,600 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 3: a comment about feeling some type of way of the

1008
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:02,839
Speaker 3: separate between me and his family, almost as though it

1009
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:06,440
Speaker 3: was my own decision, and I quickly reminded him that

1010
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:08,880
Speaker 3: I am just respecting the wishes of his family and

1011
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:11,680
Speaker 3: that they belong to him and they are nothing to me.

1012
00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:15,040
Speaker 3: In short, this marriage most likely will not last for

1013
00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:18,640
Speaker 3: multiple reasons, not just the issues of this post. Also,

1014
00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:22,080
Speaker 3: I fail to leave out a key detail. He was

1015
00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:25,720
Speaker 3: married to another woman between his children's mother and mine

1016
00:48:25,719 --> 00:48:29,240
Speaker 3: in his marriage, and according to him, that woman treated

1017
00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:33,000
Speaker 3: his children very, very poorly. I don't know her, so

1018
00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:35,080
Speaker 3: I can't speak about her. I only know what he

1019
00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:38,640
Speaker 3: told me, and that story is completely one sided. He

1020
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:40,680
Speaker 3: also thinks that that may be the reason why his

1021
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:43,640
Speaker 3: children treat me the way that they do, due to

1022
00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:47,320
Speaker 3: pass traumas from his second wife. That is interesting, interesting

1023
00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:50,160
Speaker 3: key detail that very well could be the reason. But

1024
00:48:50,200 --> 00:48:54,440
Speaker 3: we do have some relevant comments mind taker says, there

1025
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:56,560
Speaker 3: isn't a world where the father didn't bring a piece

1026
00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:59,319
Speaker 3: of crap home and not given f about how it

1027
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:03,920
Speaker 3: affected his family. Not an effing change, anything else happened.

1028
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:07,200
Speaker 3: This guy is a d bag and either wealthy enough

1029
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:10,320
Speaker 3: to keep scoring women despite his personality, or really efing

1030
00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:15,440
Speaker 3: good looking but completely passed away behind the eyes. Opie

1031
00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:20,120
Speaker 3: has bad taste in men. Opie responds, he isn't wealthy.

1032
00:49:20,239 --> 00:49:22,480
Speaker 3: He and I both make upper middle class incomes. He

1033
00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:24,200
Speaker 3: presents himself as an amazing man.

1034
00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:26,880
Speaker 1: In the beginning. Everyone who knows him speaks about what

1035
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 1: a great guy he is, and I did too.

1036
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:31,520
Speaker 3: About two years into our marriage, I began to see

1037
00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:33,120
Speaker 3: some red flags and I.

1038
00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:34,759
Speaker 1: Was already in love, so I ignored them.

1039
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:37,320
Speaker 3: But now that I have my own child to think about,

1040
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:41,440
Speaker 3: I cannot ignore them anymore. For me, this feels like

1041
00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:44,560
Speaker 3: a small thing, but I think for OPI, it's like

1042
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:47,279
Speaker 3: this has been building and building and building. She's been

1043
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:49,480
Speaker 3: mistreated for so long, right, She's.

1044
00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:52,520
Speaker 1: Like, oh wait, this is the start of what they've

1045
00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 1: been doing to me. And maybe it doesn't really matter

1046
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:56,920
Speaker 1: because it's a one year old. But I know the

1047
00:49:57,120 --> 00:50:00,600
Speaker 1: like I've seen the future, because so it's already happen.

1048
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:03,040
Speaker 3: Right right, Like I could see how this is going

1049
00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:06,319
Speaker 3: to develop even more. Yeah yeah, and then somehow he

1050
00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:08,359
Speaker 3: hasn't seen it either. Yeah, but now he cares when

1051
00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:11,920
Speaker 3: it's like about his kid, no, not his wife's wife.

1052
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,680
Speaker 3: Fearless Pen fourteen twenty says he sounds like a self

1053
00:50:14,680 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 3: absorbed person to be honest, OPI responds, I've often thought

1054
00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:20,640
Speaker 3: the same. I saw a bit of the same behavior

1055
00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:22,920
Speaker 3: in one of his children at first, and then realized

1056
00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:25,640
Speaker 3: that the behavior had derived from my husband. But I'm

1057
00:50:25,680 --> 00:50:28,640
Speaker 3: not a psychiatrist, so it's just an opinion.

1058
00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:35,040
Speaker 4: But we have another update see all right, Mama dive

1059
00:50:35,120 --> 00:50:39,960
Speaker 4: in February nineteenth, twenty twenty five, three days after the

1060
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:40,760
Speaker 4: first update.

1061
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:45,960
Speaker 3: So I Facebook messenger called his second ex wife last night.

1062
00:50:46,360 --> 00:50:48,040
Speaker 3: I wasn't sure if she would even want to talk

1063
00:50:48,080 --> 00:50:50,239
Speaker 3: to me, since I'm the new wife, but she did

1064
00:50:50,360 --> 00:50:53,960
Speaker 3: and we had a pleasant conversation. She disclosed that she

1065
00:50:54,120 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 3: and his son, adolescent at the time, never had any issues,

1066
00:50:57,800 --> 00:51:00,759
Speaker 3: but his daughter, also an adolescent at the time, was

1067
00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:05,080
Speaker 3: a bit difficult think princess mentality. She told me stories

1068
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:07,799
Speaker 3: where my husband had blatantly disregarded her feelings when it

1069
00:51:07,840 --> 00:51:10,719
Speaker 3: came to his daughter treating her poorly. She said that

1070
00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:13,480
Speaker 3: his daughter always made it clear that she was the

1071
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 3: queen of her daddy's castle. She eventually separated herself from

1072
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 3: interacting with the kids, which took a toll on their marriage.

1073
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:23,880
Speaker 3: She also disclosed that she had found out that in

1074
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:26,120
Speaker 3: the beginning of his in my relationship that he was

1075
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:31,879
Speaker 3: spicy sleeping with his supervisor. Wait wait wait wait wait

1076
00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:36,640
Speaker 3: her husband, the husband husband husband cheated on the second wife.

1077
00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:41,400
Speaker 1: Oy YoY, whoa that's bad. Yeah, that's bad.

1078
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:44,680
Speaker 3: This led me to confront my husband, and after hours

1079
00:51:44,719 --> 00:51:49,600
Speaker 3: of denial, he finally admitted for context. Last summer, I

1080
00:51:49,840 --> 00:51:53,920
Speaker 3: caught him spicy texting his supervisor and I told him

1081
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:54,359
Speaker 3: to leave.

1082
00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:56,120
Speaker 1: But we had a new baby.

1083
00:51:57,840 --> 00:52:00,719
Speaker 3: We started going to marriage counseling for the fidelity, and

1084
00:52:00,760 --> 00:52:04,040
Speaker 3: he swore that he disclosed everything to me. Uh uh oh,

1085
00:52:04,400 --> 00:52:07,799
Speaker 3: But he never told me that they had previously been

1086
00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:12,520
Speaker 3: spicily involved, even during the first few months of our relationship.

1087
00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:15,080
Speaker 3: Now I'm supposed to believe that after nine years, just

1088
00:52:15,239 --> 00:52:18,720
Speaker 3: out of the blue, they started spicy texting at random.

1089
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:22,319
Speaker 3: But nothing has continued to go on between them all

1090
00:52:22,400 --> 00:52:25,040
Speaker 3: this time that we've been married. Yeah, that would be

1091
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:27,800
Speaker 3: very hard to believe. But you know what's very easy

1092
00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:28,320
Speaker 3: to believe.

1093
00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:32,400
Speaker 1: What is the fact that we've got more full episodes

1094
00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:35,360
Speaker 1: of stories just like this one on Spotify, Apple Podcasts

1095
00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:38,359
Speaker 1: or iHeartRadio. I don't believe it. Just a joky story

1096
00:52:38,440 --> 00:52:43,319
Speaker 1: time you'll see, crazy you'll see but oh wow, big development.

1097
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:49,680
Speaker 1: Wowee wowiee son been man's a cheater, Yeah, chumpkin eater

1098
00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:53,120
Speaker 1: eating those pumpkins. Oh wow, that's yeah.

1099
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:56,880
Speaker 3: Pay attention to red flags, yeah, you know, very important.

1100
00:52:57,040 --> 00:53:01,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, when you notice your partner is behaving great in

1101
00:53:01,239 --> 00:53:04,320
Speaker 1: other aspects of your life, they might also have already

1102
00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:08,239
Speaker 1: not behaved you know that loyally in other areas well.

1103
00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:10,399
Speaker 1: He clearly does not care about you to the same

1104
00:53:10,480 --> 00:53:12,920
Speaker 1: extent that you know. He doesn't care about this relationship

1105
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:16,919
Speaker 1: or your family, eh, anywhere near as much as you care.

1106
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:23,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely not. That is so so disappointing. Yes, my goodness,

1107
00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:25,160
Speaker 3: But there is a little bit more to this story.

1108
00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:29,320
Speaker 3: Needless to say, I contacted a divorce attorney this morning.

1109
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:31,680
Speaker 3: I'll keep you guys updated on the progress. If my

1110
00:53:31,719 --> 00:53:34,520
Speaker 3: attorney feels like it will not have an impact on

1111
00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:38,640
Speaker 3: my case. We do have some relevant comments. Lyndon Lil

1112
00:53:38,840 --> 00:53:42,600
Speaker 3: Blueball says, maybe the kids just knew their dad would

1113
00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:44,799
Speaker 3: eventually f this marriage up too, so they didn't want

1114
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:47,840
Speaker 3: to get too invested. Nah, they were raised by a

1115
00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:51,080
Speaker 3: self absorbed person and became the same as the dad.

1116
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:55,439
Speaker 3: Uh Linnavi says, eh, I can't really blame the kids

1117
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:57,360
Speaker 3: for not seeing the one year old as their sister

1118
00:53:57,600 --> 00:54:00,040
Speaker 3: given the age gap there. They were already living on

1119
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:01,880
Speaker 3: their own with their own families and kids by the

1120
00:54:01,880 --> 00:54:04,279
Speaker 3: time the sister was born, and that's it.

1121
00:54:04,280 --> 00:54:06,840
Speaker 1: That's so yeah, which I like, I kind of agree

1122
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:10,000
Speaker 1: yeah with that comment. But I think for Op it

1123
00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:13,560
Speaker 1: was just this kind of culmination of years of mistreatment

1124
00:54:13,719 --> 00:54:14,279
Speaker 1: towards her.

1125
00:54:14,719 --> 00:54:17,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I can understand that it felt very unfair

1126
00:54:17,320 --> 00:54:20,200
Speaker 3: when she's like buying gifts for literally everyone and then

1127
00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:24,960
Speaker 3: I mean, one, they're not getting gifts like for her too,

1128
00:54:25,080 --> 00:54:27,080
Speaker 3: or at least not everyone is. And then also they're

1129
00:54:27,080 --> 00:54:28,600
Speaker 3: not getting gifts for the one year old and that

1130
00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:30,600
Speaker 3: and that can be very disappointing.

1131
00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:34,200
Speaker 1: But wow, yeah, they're getting divorced. That is not where

1132
00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:35,400
Speaker 1: I thought the story was gonna.

1133
00:54:35,200 --> 00:54:35,600
Speaker 2: Go it on.

1134
00:54:35,719 --> 00:54:37,960
Speaker 1: I thought I was hoping for some any sort of

1135
00:54:38,280 --> 00:54:41,319
Speaker 1: I don't know, yeah, any sort of good resolution. But

1136
00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:45,080
Speaker 1: you know, hey, it's Sam. We get back to the stories.

1137
00:54:45,120 --> 00:54:47,960
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. I

1138
00:54:48,080 --> 00:54:51,160
Speaker 1: ended our family because my partner didn't get me a

1139
00:54:51,239 --> 00:54:55,440
Speaker 1: Mother's Day gift. Well that's a bad partner. The title

1140
00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:58,279
Speaker 1: sounds like I'm being spoiled, but bear with me. I'm

1141
00:54:58,280 --> 00:55:00,520
Speaker 1: thirty four female and have been with my I partner,

1142
00:55:00,600 --> 00:55:04,560
Speaker 1: forty seven male for nearly eleven years. He has one

1143
00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:07,800
Speaker 1: child from his marriage that ended at least five years

1144
00:55:07,840 --> 00:55:10,880
Speaker 1: before I met him, so I am not the other woman.

1145
00:55:11,560 --> 00:55:13,960
Speaker 1: He was divorced when I met him. We have a

1146
00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:16,680
Speaker 1: child together now too. By the way, this comes from

1147
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:19,040
Speaker 1: throw a Daisy maybe, And if you want to smit

1148
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:21,160
Speaker 1: your own stories, go to the r slash. Okay, storytime

1149
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:24,879
Speaker 1: subured it so. When I first met him, his ex

1150
00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:27,800
Speaker 1: wife wouldn't let him see his child. Oh my god.

1151
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:30,440
Speaker 1: But I supported and financed him through the courts and

1152
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:33,120
Speaker 1: we got access. I treat this child like my own,

1153
00:55:33,600 --> 00:55:36,920
Speaker 1: but understand when things like Mother's Day come around that

1154
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:39,040
Speaker 1: I didn't get anything to mark the day. They aren't

1155
00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:43,200
Speaker 1: my child. Christmas presents and birthday presents were small token

1156
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:45,640
Speaker 1: gifts as we were very poor due to a court

1157
00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:50,279
Speaker 1: eating our finances. Valentine's was usually a slightly nicer home

1158
00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:53,840
Speaker 1: cooked meal and maybe some cheap flowers, not roses or anything,

1159
00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:57,480
Speaker 1: but again, we were literally living paycheck to paycheck, though

1160
00:55:57,480 --> 00:55:59,839
Speaker 1: I might add I was the only one working. Why

1161
00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:02,960
Speaker 1: is it your partner working? Do you live in paycheck

1162
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:06,240
Speaker 1: to paycheck? When my partner finally decided he was ready

1163
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:09,640
Speaker 1: to go back to work two years after court was finalized,

1164
00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:12,719
Speaker 1: but he was still depressed about the whole thing. I

1165
00:56:12,880 --> 00:56:16,320
Speaker 1: was very supportive. I did his CVS, applied for the jobs,

1166
00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:19,880
Speaker 1: and took him to the interviews, et cetera. He finally

1167
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:23,680
Speaker 1: landed a really good job that he loves. Finances obviously

1168
00:56:23,719 --> 00:56:26,680
Speaker 1: became much better, and though I am still the main breadwinner,

1169
00:56:27,040 --> 00:56:30,719
Speaker 1: we have a lot more disposable income. He bought a ring,

1170
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:33,719
Speaker 1: not a massively expensive one, as I'm not one for

1171
00:56:33,760 --> 00:56:36,600
Speaker 1: those things like that. It was about one hundred and

1172
00:56:36,600 --> 00:56:40,560
Speaker 1: twenty pounds and proposed to me. I said yes. Fast

1173
00:56:40,600 --> 00:56:45,239
Speaker 1: forward three years. We still aren't married, but we are

1174
00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:49,839
Speaker 1: after a lot of trouble, expecting a baby. I'm overjoyed.

1175
00:56:50,239 --> 00:56:53,840
Speaker 1: He's overjoyed, but it's kind of like he's the one pregnant.

1176
00:56:54,560 --> 00:56:57,560
Speaker 1: He's just going through He's like, you don't understand. I

1177
00:56:57,600 --> 00:57:00,000
Speaker 1: have a lot of hormonal things going on right now.

1178
00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:02,759
Speaker 1: I'm having a really hard time. I would really like

1179
00:57:02,800 --> 00:57:05,040
Speaker 1: it if you would support me in this. He is

1180
00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:07,480
Speaker 1: snappy with me all the time. I make a mistake,

1181
00:57:07,640 --> 00:57:09,759
Speaker 1: drop a plate or something, and he curses me out.

1182
00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:12,200
Speaker 1: It feels like he's trying to alienate me from his

1183
00:57:12,280 --> 00:57:15,399
Speaker 1: other child. He left me less than an hour after

1184
00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:20,080
Speaker 1: our child was born because he was tired. I'm sorry

1185
00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:25,480
Speaker 1: he was tired after you just gave birth. Dude, Come on,

1186
00:57:26,440 --> 00:57:29,040
Speaker 1: I'm too tired to be upset. But I do file

1187
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:32,280
Speaker 1: the way in my head for later. Don't marry this man.

1188
00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:34,600
Speaker 1: I kept in the hospital a few days after the

1189
00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:37,240
Speaker 1: birth as I lost a lot of blood. But he

1190
00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:40,160
Speaker 1: barely stays fifteen minutes a day and shouts at me

1191
00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:42,440
Speaker 1: when I ring him because he's exhausted and trying to

1192
00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:43,760
Speaker 1: rest before the baby comes home.

1193
00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:49,480
Speaker 3: Oh my god, insane, that's insane.

1194
00:57:49,920 --> 00:57:53,240
Speaker 1: Crazy. I'm reading this back and I feel so dumb,

1195
00:57:53,280 --> 00:57:57,040
Speaker 1: But I'll continue with the original question. Money is still fine?

1196
00:57:57,080 --> 00:58:00,760
Speaker 1: After the baby is born. Birthdays and Christmases are nice presence.

1197
00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:05,120
Speaker 1: Valentines is better. Flowers they'll purchase the day after so

1198
00:58:05,200 --> 00:58:08,800
Speaker 1: they're cheaper. First Mother's Day, nothing he bought for his

1199
00:58:08,840 --> 00:58:10,800
Speaker 1: own mom. I don't talk to my mom, so he

1200
00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:13,360
Speaker 1: knew it was Mother's Day. I had gotten him something

1201
00:58:13,360 --> 00:58:15,360
Speaker 1: from the kids, as I have done every year for

1202
00:58:15,440 --> 00:58:19,800
Speaker 1: Father's Day. So I asked him that night. Why. His response,

1203
00:58:20,160 --> 00:58:24,960
Speaker 1: you're not my mom. That's messed up, dude. It's about

1204
00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:27,919
Speaker 1: celebrating the mothers in your life, not just your mom. Yeah,

1205
00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:31,760
Speaker 1: she's she's the mother of your child, literally of your child.

1206
00:58:32,160 --> 00:58:34,760
Speaker 1: Come on. I was so hurt and we had a

1207
00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:37,080
Speaker 1: massive fight about it. He promised to make it up

1208
00:58:37,080 --> 00:58:40,080
Speaker 1: and said he didn't realize it was that important. I said,

1209
00:58:40,080 --> 00:58:42,000
Speaker 1: all I wanted was a card I could show my

1210
00:58:42,080 --> 00:58:44,560
Speaker 1: friends and family, instead of being mortified by telling them

1211
00:58:44,560 --> 00:58:46,400
Speaker 1: I got nothing when they asked me what I got.

1212
00:58:47,320 --> 00:58:51,200
Speaker 1: Birthdays and Christmases were thoughtful and nice. Valentines was flowers,

1213
00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:53,880
Speaker 1: on time and out to dinner. We were getting on great.

1214
00:58:54,200 --> 00:58:57,320
Speaker 1: And then this year I give him his Valentines and

1215
00:58:57,400 --> 00:58:59,880
Speaker 1: he says thanks and opens it, glances at me and

1216
00:59:00,200 --> 00:59:01,960
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I don't have time to get your jet.

1217
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:03,760
Speaker 1: I'll nip into the garage on the way to dinner

1218
00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:06,840
Speaker 1: his favorite restaurant that I booked. I told him not

1219
00:59:06,880 --> 00:59:08,440
Speaker 1: to bother. You can make it up to me on

1220
00:59:08,480 --> 00:59:11,520
Speaker 1: Mother's Day. Though I was hurt but trying not to

1221
00:59:11,560 --> 00:59:15,480
Speaker 1: be spoiled. It's just today, after all. Well, Mother's Day

1222
00:59:15,560 --> 00:59:18,040
Speaker 1: is this weekend coming. I asked him if we had

1223
00:59:18,080 --> 00:59:20,240
Speaker 1: any plans with his mom or if I could book

1224
00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:23,280
Speaker 1: us into this wee high teething. He looked at me

1225
00:59:23,320 --> 00:59:26,000
Speaker 1: and was like, Oh, I've sordid mom, but I'm actually

1226
00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:29,480
Speaker 1: going away this weekend. Dude, this man can't do anything.

1227
00:59:30,080 --> 00:59:33,360
Speaker 1: Why he can't do anything right for you? He does,

1228
00:59:33,720 --> 00:59:35,520
Speaker 1: He does not prioritize you in any.

1229
00:59:35,320 --> 00:59:37,480
Speaker 3: Way, because this is the second Mother's Day that she's

1230
00:59:37,520 --> 00:59:40,320
Speaker 3: had being a mom. Right, yeah, And she said you

1231
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:42,040
Speaker 3: can make it up. She said, you can make up

1232
00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:44,520
Speaker 3: Valentine's Day for me with Mother's Day.

1233
00:59:44,560 --> 00:59:46,200
Speaker 1: And he was like yeah. And then he's like, oh,

1234
00:59:46,240 --> 00:59:49,640
Speaker 1: I'm leaving. I'm gonna be gone, It'll be gone. I

1235
00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:52,320
Speaker 1: forgot to say. We had to swap from the April

1236
00:59:52,400 --> 00:59:55,400
Speaker 1: date to next because a friend couldn't go. Boys weekend away.

1237
00:59:56,200 --> 00:59:58,560
Speaker 1: I looked at him and said, okay, well you said

1238
00:59:58,600 --> 01:00:01,440
Speaker 1: you would make up for Valentine on Mother's Day? Have

1239
01:00:01,520 --> 01:00:03,400
Speaker 1: you got me something from our child? Or should I

1240
01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:06,040
Speaker 1: get myself something? He was like, oh, yeah, you can

1241
01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:08,320
Speaker 1: get yourself something if you want. I haven't really had time.

1242
01:00:08,760 --> 01:00:11,080
Speaker 1: I do not like this man. I asked what he

1243
01:00:11,120 --> 01:00:13,560
Speaker 1: got his mom, and he gave me a massive list.

1244
01:00:14,640 --> 01:00:17,400
Speaker 1: I told him I was done. Now he's calling me

1245
01:00:17,520 --> 01:00:20,320
Speaker 1: spoiled and saying he will go for full custody, that

1246
01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:25,040
Speaker 1: I'm throwing our family away over some stupid commercialized holiday.

1247
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:27,200
Speaker 1: I told him it was just the tip of the

1248
01:00:27,240 --> 01:00:29,720
Speaker 1: iceberg and that I was sick of him. He is

1249
01:00:29,760 --> 01:00:32,240
Speaker 1: now staying with his mom and I'm sat here with

1250
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:35,680
Speaker 1: our toddler and there is an update. But you thought,

1251
01:00:35,680 --> 01:00:41,840
Speaker 1: my gosh, so many yeah, yike, so many thoughts. What

1252
01:00:41,840 --> 01:00:43,440
Speaker 1: what do you mean you didn't have time? You obviously

1253
01:00:43,480 --> 01:00:45,480
Speaker 1: had time to talk to your boys and also to

1254
01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:48,880
Speaker 1: get your mom things. Yeah, like a huge list of things.

1255
01:00:48,880 --> 01:00:50,960
Speaker 1: And you can't get your wife one thing.

1256
01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:53,400
Speaker 3: Right, But instead you decided to spend your time with

1257
01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:58,280
Speaker 3: uh planning a trip for Mother's Day weekend. We're gonna

1258
01:00:58,320 --> 01:01:01,240
Speaker 3: leave your wife at home alone with the kids, because

1259
01:01:01,280 --> 01:01:03,880
Speaker 3: I feel like that's also another good thing to do

1260
01:01:03,960 --> 01:01:04,600
Speaker 3: on Mother's Day.

1261
01:01:04,600 --> 01:01:08,400
Speaker 1: If you, you know, have a mother of your child,

1262
01:01:08,600 --> 01:01:11,040
Speaker 1: you know where it's like you're you can make it

1263
01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:13,560
Speaker 1: easier for them and not have them take care of

1264
01:01:13,640 --> 01:01:17,320
Speaker 1: them exactly exactly. It's like there are so many ways

1265
01:01:17,320 --> 01:01:21,200
Speaker 1: that you can be a good partner. Yeah, and show

1266
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:23,240
Speaker 1: your partner that you appreciate them and that you care

1267
01:01:23,320 --> 01:01:27,560
Speaker 1: for them, and you're doing everything incredibly wrong. Okay, first

1268
01:01:27,640 --> 01:01:30,680
Speaker 1: things first, thanks to everyone that has taken the time

1269
01:01:30,680 --> 01:01:33,320
Speaker 1: to comment, I mean everyone. It's given me a lot

1270
01:01:33,320 --> 01:01:35,919
Speaker 1: to think about and a lot of advice. I would

1271
01:01:35,960 --> 01:01:39,120
Speaker 1: like to also address the comments about mistreatment of my stepchild.

1272
01:01:39,360 --> 01:01:41,320
Speaker 1: I came into this child's life when they were five

1273
01:01:41,400 --> 01:01:44,440
Speaker 1: years old. When I first started dating their dad, he

1274
01:01:44,560 --> 01:01:48,720
Speaker 1: was seeing them and was paying child support through CSA. However,

1275
01:01:49,240 --> 01:01:51,840
Speaker 1: as we dated, he was fighting with their mom more

1276
01:01:51,920 --> 01:01:54,680
Speaker 1: and more about getting to see them, as she was

1277
01:01:54,760 --> 01:01:59,560
Speaker 1: canceling visits repeatedly for really weak reasons. Usually this happens

1278
01:01:59,640 --> 01:02:02,280
Speaker 1: after my ex refuse to give her extra money or something.

1279
01:02:02,560 --> 01:02:04,520
Speaker 1: So I do know that it was one hundred percent

1280
01:02:05,240 --> 01:02:07,520
Speaker 1: a good part of why he wasn't seeing the child.

1281
01:02:07,800 --> 01:02:10,320
Speaker 1: I met the child a few times before suggesting we

1282
01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:12,640
Speaker 1: go to court for a court order. This was after

1283
01:02:12,840 --> 01:02:14,919
Speaker 1: asking the child if they would like to start coming

1284
01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:18,120
Speaker 1: and staying over at ours more. They always said yes.

1285
01:02:19,320 --> 01:02:21,760
Speaker 1: In court, the judge ordered a social worker to speak

1286
01:02:21,760 --> 01:02:24,600
Speaker 1: to the child and ask her what she wanted, as

1287
01:02:24,680 --> 01:02:27,120
Speaker 1: things had gotten very bad between her parents and a

1288
01:02:27,120 --> 01:02:31,080
Speaker 1: lot of stupid things like accusations of substances, et cetera.

1289
01:02:32,160 --> 01:02:35,000
Speaker 1: The words my stepchild used with the social worker were

1290
01:02:35,280 --> 01:02:37,320
Speaker 1: I want to stay at daddy's, but mommy said she'll

1291
01:02:37,360 --> 01:02:39,120
Speaker 1: be lonely and sad and cry all the time, so

1292
01:02:39,160 --> 01:02:41,480
Speaker 1: I can't. He is a good dad in that he

1293
01:02:41,520 --> 01:02:44,400
Speaker 1: loves his kids and plays with them. He never misses

1294
01:02:44,400 --> 01:02:48,520
Speaker 1: a CSA payment. Everything else above paying child support and

1295
01:02:48,600 --> 01:02:51,400
Speaker 1: playing with the kids is left to me. I have

1296
01:02:51,440 --> 01:02:53,960
Speaker 1: a great relationship with my stepchild, and they tend to

1297
01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:57,320
Speaker 1: confide to me well before either of their parents. To

1298
01:02:57,360 --> 01:02:59,479
Speaker 1: be honest, her mom seems a lot, but I also

1299
01:02:59,520 --> 01:03:01,680
Speaker 1: haven't spoken more than three words to hers, so I

1300
01:03:01,720 --> 01:03:04,880
Speaker 1: don't know. I also now understand why she hates me.

1301
01:03:05,720 --> 01:03:07,600
Speaker 1: As of now, I have told him we are over

1302
01:03:07,960 --> 01:03:09,920
Speaker 1: and I am looking for a smaller place to stay

1303
01:03:09,920 --> 01:03:12,880
Speaker 1: closer to my friends and family. I have been to

1304
01:03:12,960 --> 01:03:15,440
Speaker 1: a solicitor this morning, not the same one as we

1305
01:03:15,560 --> 01:03:17,840
Speaker 1: used before, as she wasn't available and I wanted to

1306
01:03:17,840 --> 01:03:20,720
Speaker 1: get the ball rolling. They are getting me a temporary

1307
01:03:20,840 --> 01:03:24,000
Speaker 1: order of custody or something like that. I can't remember

1308
01:03:24,040 --> 01:03:26,520
Speaker 1: exactly what it was called, but it means he can't

1309
01:03:26,600 --> 01:03:29,520
Speaker 1: kidnap my son and we need to get a proper

1310
01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:33,000
Speaker 1: custody order in place. He has swung between begging me

1311
01:03:33,080 --> 01:03:36,280
Speaker 1: to stay, not caring, and threatening me that I will

1312
01:03:36,360 --> 01:03:39,440
Speaker 1: regret this. Not sure what he means, but it's all

1313
01:03:39,480 --> 01:03:42,800
Speaker 1: been texts which I'm ignoring but screenshotting. He has not

1314
01:03:42,960 --> 01:03:45,000
Speaker 1: tried to actually come back to the house as far

1315
01:03:45,040 --> 01:03:48,080
Speaker 1: as I'm aware, though, I really can't explain why I

1316
01:03:48,160 --> 01:03:50,200
Speaker 1: let this go on like this. I had a very

1317
01:03:50,240 --> 01:03:53,240
Speaker 1: bad upbringing and that my mom was incredibly active, which

1318
01:03:53,240 --> 01:03:55,439
Speaker 1: I'm not getting into. It was only after she left

1319
01:03:55,520 --> 01:03:58,440
Speaker 1: us that people knew the extent. And by left us,

1320
01:03:58,520 --> 01:04:00,840
Speaker 1: I mean she left me and my two siblings in

1321
01:04:00,880 --> 01:04:04,120
Speaker 1: a house by ourselves for a good few days before

1322
01:04:04,160 --> 01:04:06,960
Speaker 1: we were brave enough to leave and find someone to

1323
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:09,440
Speaker 1: call her dad, who my mom took away from us.

1324
01:04:10,440 --> 01:04:13,320
Speaker 1: This probably is why I was happy to support my

1325
01:04:13,320 --> 01:04:18,760
Speaker 1: partner through court, because I've seen parental alienation firsthand. I

1326
01:04:18,800 --> 01:04:21,720
Speaker 1: have no problem with my axe seeing my son. I

1327
01:04:21,760 --> 01:04:23,800
Speaker 1: have no problem with him taking him out, et cetera.

1328
01:04:24,320 --> 01:04:26,720
Speaker 1: I have a problem with him wanting full or even

1329
01:04:26,760 --> 01:04:30,560
Speaker 1: fifty percent custody because the man can't look after himself.

1330
01:04:31,400 --> 01:04:33,800
Speaker 1: He sleeps on the sofa if my son's sick, because

1331
01:04:33,840 --> 01:04:35,920
Speaker 1: he gets a headache, if he's too tired. I was

1332
01:04:35,960 --> 01:04:38,520
Speaker 1: once so sick I could barely lift my head and

1333
01:04:38,640 --> 01:04:40,960
Speaker 1: asked him to take our son downstairs and let me

1334
01:04:41,000 --> 01:04:44,200
Speaker 1: sleep for a few hours. One morning. Three hours later

1335
01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:46,400
Speaker 1: I came down, my son was in the same nappy

1336
01:04:46,480 --> 01:04:49,200
Speaker 1: that was so full, his pjs were wet, and he

1337
01:04:49,280 --> 01:04:51,800
Speaker 1: was eating dry cereal out of the box for breakfast

1338
01:04:51,800 --> 01:04:54,080
Speaker 1: at nearly lunchtime. I mean, your husband does not know

1339
01:04:54,160 --> 01:04:55,240
Speaker 1: how to take care of his kids.

1340
01:04:55,360 --> 01:04:58,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like even if even if the kids are saying

1341
01:04:58,000 --> 01:05:01,520
Speaker 3: that they like him, they like we was probably my parent. Yeah, yeah,

1342
01:05:01,520 --> 01:05:03,040
Speaker 3: but he doesn't know how to take care of kids

1343
01:05:03,240 --> 01:05:05,479
Speaker 3: right right, like he's being their friend and.

1344
01:05:05,360 --> 01:05:09,000
Speaker 1: Not their parent. Exactly exactly. I am not leaving my

1345
01:05:09,120 --> 01:05:12,640
Speaker 1: three year old with that clown. I genuinely thought he

1346
01:05:12,720 --> 01:05:15,480
Speaker 1: loved me. We used to literally just spend hours together,

1347
01:05:15,560 --> 01:05:18,840
Speaker 1: laughing and talking, and I was happy. I was stressed

1348
01:05:18,880 --> 01:05:21,480
Speaker 1: because I was working flat out. We had court, my

1349
01:05:21,560 --> 01:05:25,600
Speaker 1: grandparents passed away, my stepdad passed away. It was a

1350
01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:29,080
Speaker 1: terrible time. But he made me laugh and we were happy.

1351
01:05:29,880 --> 01:05:32,720
Speaker 1: We got our We got our stepchild two nights a week,

1352
01:05:32,800 --> 01:05:35,600
Speaker 1: and I loved them so much. I felt the hard

1353
01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:38,320
Speaker 1: work was worth it for them. He was depressed, or

1354
01:05:38,320 --> 01:05:40,880
Speaker 1: so he said. To be honest, I don't know how

1355
01:05:40,880 --> 01:05:43,120
Speaker 1: he sold that one to me. He got his child,

1356
01:05:43,200 --> 01:05:46,080
Speaker 1: and he was literally laying about home all day, every day,

1357
01:05:46,120 --> 01:05:49,080
Speaker 1: playing the games I paid for well, I could barely

1358
01:05:49,080 --> 01:05:51,959
Speaker 1: afford makeup and cut my own hair for crying out loud.

1359
01:05:52,760 --> 01:05:56,880
Speaker 1: I am an idiot. I see that now. Maybe the

1360
01:05:56,880 --> 01:05:59,840
Speaker 1: small achievements made the crap seem worth. It had an

1361
01:05:59,800 --> 01:06:04,680
Speaker 1: eye home. We got to see stepchild, he got a job,

1362
01:06:04,920 --> 01:06:07,440
Speaker 1: we got engaged. We tried and lost a baby, but

1363
01:06:07,480 --> 01:06:11,200
Speaker 1: got pregnant really quick and unexpectedly after. And you know

1364
01:06:11,280 --> 01:06:14,200
Speaker 1: what else is unexpected The fact that we have full

1365
01:06:14,240 --> 01:06:17,200
Speaker 1: episodes with stories just like this. Just go to Spotify,

1366
01:06:17,320 --> 01:06:20,520
Speaker 1: Apple podcasts or iHeart radio and search a focused story time,

1367
01:06:21,280 --> 01:06:23,320
Speaker 1: but there is a little bit left to the story.

1368
01:06:23,480 --> 01:06:26,400
Speaker 1: Do me final thoughts, I don't know it. Just go

1369
01:06:26,560 --> 01:06:29,880
Speaker 1: easy on yourself a pee. Like you might feeling an

1370
01:06:29,920 --> 01:06:33,000
Speaker 1: idiot afterwards, but in the moment, you didn't know, you

1371
01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:34,160
Speaker 1: didn't know, you didn't know.

1372
01:06:34,120 --> 01:06:37,120
Speaker 3: And there was probably like I don't know if he

1373
01:06:37,200 --> 01:06:40,400
Speaker 3: was yelling at her for like random things or like

1374
01:06:40,400 --> 01:06:42,120
Speaker 3: like right, is that what I heard correctly?

1375
01:06:42,240 --> 01:06:42,520
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1376
01:06:42,600 --> 01:06:44,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, like if you're if he's yelling at you for

1377
01:06:44,520 --> 01:06:46,920
Speaker 3: stupid things and like not being there for you and stuff.

1378
01:06:47,200 --> 01:06:50,280
Speaker 3: I really doubt that this pregnancy was the only time

1379
01:06:50,280 --> 01:06:53,080
Speaker 3: that he was yelling at her. Hey, so I wouldn't

1380
01:06:53,080 --> 01:06:55,440
Speaker 3: be surprised if there was like some sort of manipulation

1381
01:06:55,640 --> 01:06:56,720
Speaker 3: going on in there.

1382
01:06:56,920 --> 01:07:03,360
Speaker 1: So don't blame yourself for you know, getting manipulated. Yeah. Yeah,

1383
01:07:03,360 --> 01:07:06,680
Speaker 1: he seems like changed, yea not a great guy, terrible

1384
01:07:06,680 --> 01:07:09,520
Speaker 1: partner really right, Just like I mean from the start

1385
01:07:09,640 --> 01:07:12,080
Speaker 1: of him not being like leaving an hour after you

1386
01:07:12,120 --> 01:07:14,600
Speaker 1: get birth, he just was never going to be an

1387
01:07:14,600 --> 01:07:18,440
Speaker 1: involved parent, yeah, exactly, Like he may be a fun parent,

1388
01:07:18,520 --> 01:07:22,040
Speaker 1: but not ready to put in the work. Then it

1389
01:07:22,200 --> 01:07:24,920
Speaker 1: was like pop the bubble at burst. I'm running myself

1390
01:07:24,920 --> 01:07:27,680
Speaker 1: into the ground at work, keeping a tidy home, caring

1391
01:07:27,720 --> 01:07:30,840
Speaker 1: for a toddler who's always sick, and trying to support

1392
01:07:30,880 --> 01:07:34,920
Speaker 1: a teenager through their GCSEs and life in general. And

1393
01:07:34,960 --> 01:07:38,160
Speaker 1: he just doesn't care. As long as he's comfortable and

1394
01:07:38,200 --> 01:07:40,600
Speaker 1: has time to play his video games, see his friends

1395
01:07:40,600 --> 01:07:42,600
Speaker 1: and family, and do whatever the heck he does on

1396
01:07:42,640 --> 01:07:45,720
Speaker 1: his phone. He really doesn't care less about what I do.

1397
01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:50,960
Speaker 1: I'm finally just done, heartbroken, tired, but really and truly done.

1398
01:07:51,600 --> 01:07:56,520
Speaker 1: And that is the end of that story. Whoa youch Yeah?

1399
01:07:56,600 --> 01:08:00,520
Speaker 1: I mean, very valid, very valid. I think the only

1400
01:08:00,560 --> 01:08:03,000
Speaker 1: thing I would have said is, like, you know, if

1401
01:08:03,080 --> 01:08:05,960
Speaker 1: anybody's in that situation where they're noticing their partners really

1402
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:07,480
Speaker 1: not stepping up in the way that they need to

1403
01:08:07,520 --> 01:08:11,600
Speaker 1: them to have those conversations before ye talk them out,

1404
01:08:11,680 --> 01:08:15,120
Speaker 1: say like, hey, I really need a partner. Yeah, if

1405
01:08:15,120 --> 01:08:18,880
Speaker 1: that's not working, trying couple's therapy something, and you know,

1406
01:08:18,920 --> 01:08:23,960
Speaker 1: if nothing is changing, then divorce. Yeah, but good on

1407
01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:26,800
Speaker 1: you for moving on with the divorce and recognizing that

1408
01:08:26,880 --> 01:08:28,559
Speaker 1: you know you deserve better treatment than this.

1409
01:08:28,840 --> 01:08:34,360
Speaker 3: Exactly, I discovered my husband's betrayal, so I got back

1410
01:08:34,400 --> 01:08:38,240
Speaker 3: at him, as you should. This is a long post,

1411
01:08:38,320 --> 01:08:44,880
Speaker 3: so strap in guys. I now thirty four female and

1412
01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:46,639
Speaker 3: my ex husband now thirty six male.

1413
01:08:46,720 --> 01:08:47,519
Speaker 1: Let's call him Bob.

1414
01:08:47,640 --> 01:08:50,400
Speaker 3: We're married for nearly ten years, together for twelve, but

1415
01:08:50,479 --> 01:08:53,360
Speaker 3: had known each other since our early teens. By the way,

1416
01:08:53,400 --> 01:08:55,920
Speaker 3: this comes from Spirited Lecture eight oh six, and if

1417
01:08:55,920 --> 01:08:57,320
Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

1418
01:08:57,439 --> 01:09:01,559
Speaker 3: ur slush Okay, story time separred it. So he moved

1419
01:09:01,640 --> 01:09:03,559
Speaker 3: four hours away from his family to be with me.

1420
01:09:03,760 --> 01:09:07,200
Speaker 3: But we were happy, or so I thought. Over our

1421
01:09:07,200 --> 01:09:10,360
Speaker 3: twelve year relationship. We got married, had two beautiful children,

1422
01:09:10,479 --> 01:09:13,360
Speaker 3: and bought our home. The one thing that he always

1423
01:09:13,360 --> 01:09:17,160
Speaker 3: wanted was a canine companion, but I never did. Eventually

1424
01:09:17,200 --> 01:09:19,880
Speaker 3: I caved and we adopted a little doggie sidekick. This

1425
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:23,679
Speaker 3: is important later over the years, he went through countless jobs.

1426
01:09:23,720 --> 01:09:26,559
Speaker 3: He would constantly be on sick leave or wait months

1427
01:09:26,560 --> 01:09:30,080
Speaker 3: between ending one job and starting another. He lost his

1428
01:09:30,200 --> 01:09:32,479
Speaker 3: job when I was six months pregnant with our youngest

1429
01:09:32,560 --> 01:09:34,880
Speaker 3: and didn't get back into work until he was four

1430
01:09:34,920 --> 01:09:38,360
Speaker 3: months old. I, however, worked all the hours I could

1431
01:09:38,400 --> 01:09:41,040
Speaker 3: to keep food on the table and the bills paid.

1432
01:09:41,240 --> 01:09:43,679
Speaker 3: My ex mother in law was sending fifteen hundred pounds

1433
01:09:43,760 --> 01:09:46,040
Speaker 3: a month to help us pay the mortgage and his

1434
01:09:46,160 --> 01:09:48,519
Speaker 3: side of the bills. He paid for the mortgage and

1435
01:09:48,600 --> 01:09:50,679
Speaker 3: his car, and I paid everything else.

1436
01:09:51,040 --> 01:09:53,679
Speaker 1: He lost his job in the summer of twenty twenty three,

1437
01:09:53,840 --> 01:09:57,240
Speaker 1: and in early twenty twenty four, my friend's husband offered

1438
01:09:57,360 --> 01:09:59,040
Speaker 1: him a job working for his company.

1439
01:09:59,160 --> 01:10:01,799
Speaker 3: All he needed to do was speak to the managing director.

1440
01:10:02,200 --> 01:10:06,240
Speaker 3: He did this and self sabotaged the interview, telling them

1441
01:10:06,240 --> 01:10:08,639
Speaker 3: that he was depressed and would struggle to work.

1442
01:10:08,720 --> 01:10:11,080
Speaker 1: Come on, why would you do that?

1443
01:10:11,160 --> 01:10:14,240
Speaker 3: Why would you go into a job interview and be like, yeah,

1444
01:10:14,240 --> 01:10:16,080
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna be Why would you even do the

1445
01:10:16,200 --> 01:10:16,879
Speaker 3: job interview?

1446
01:10:16,920 --> 01:10:18,639
Speaker 1: If you're gonna do that, just be like, hey, I'm

1447
01:10:18,680 --> 01:10:21,680
Speaker 1: not looking for anything right now? Yeah, self sabotage in

1448
01:10:21,720 --> 01:10:24,559
Speaker 1: the interview. Exactly safe to say.

1449
01:10:24,760 --> 01:10:28,080
Speaker 3: I was not best pleased, and this caused an argument

1450
01:10:28,160 --> 01:10:31,439
Speaker 3: of epic proportions. The next day, I was going to

1451
01:10:31,479 --> 01:10:33,519
Speaker 3: a baby shower and he said that he would drive

1452
01:10:33,560 --> 01:10:35,759
Speaker 3: me there and take the kids to the local park,

1453
01:10:36,000 --> 01:10:37,880
Speaker 3: but he decided to stay in bed.

1454
01:10:38,360 --> 01:10:41,240
Speaker 1: I found child care for the children and went anyway.

1455
01:10:41,880 --> 01:10:43,800
Speaker 3: While I was there, I received a text saying that

1456
01:10:43,840 --> 01:10:45,760
Speaker 3: he was off to see his family and would be

1457
01:10:45,800 --> 01:10:46,880
Speaker 3: back at some point.

1458
01:10:47,479 --> 01:10:49,519
Speaker 1: Fair enough, it may have been what he needed.

1459
01:10:50,160 --> 01:10:53,679
Speaker 3: Ten days later, around the children's bedtime, he rocks up,

1460
01:10:54,160 --> 01:10:57,479
Speaker 3: banged the door open and said, miss me, just to

1461
01:10:57,600 --> 01:11:00,719
Speaker 3: let you know the marriage is over. We are selling

1462
01:11:00,800 --> 01:11:02,719
Speaker 3: the house and getting rid of the dog.

1463
01:11:02,960 --> 01:11:08,320
Speaker 5: What whoa what energy is that? He just he kicks

1464
01:11:08,400 --> 01:11:13,800
Speaker 5: the door open, goes USh me. Marriage over, taking the house.

1465
01:11:13,760 --> 01:11:14,880
Speaker 1: Getting rid of the dog.

1466
01:11:15,320 --> 01:11:16,400
Speaker 3: That's crazy?

1467
01:11:16,840 --> 01:11:24,040
Speaker 1: What that? What did she do? This so so wild? Uh?

1468
01:11:24,160 --> 01:11:27,200
Speaker 3: This sent my son into a complete meltdown. I was

1469
01:11:27,479 --> 01:11:28,599
Speaker 3: in front of the kids.

1470
01:11:28,680 --> 01:11:30,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought it was just at the same time

1471
01:11:30,880 --> 01:11:35,679
Speaker 1: as the bedtime, around the bedtime they probably like about

1472
01:11:35,720 --> 01:11:38,800
Speaker 1: to go to bed. Oh my god, Oh my gosh.

1473
01:11:39,200 --> 01:11:41,640
Speaker 3: This sent my son into a complete meltdown, as the

1474
01:11:41,640 --> 01:11:44,240
Speaker 3: dog is his best friend in the whole world. I

1475
01:11:44,320 --> 01:11:46,280
Speaker 3: ended up leaving with the children and went to stay

1476
01:11:46,320 --> 01:11:48,760
Speaker 3: with my family. I wasn't able to take the dog

1477
01:11:48,800 --> 01:11:50,639
Speaker 3: with me due to my parents having a cat who

1478
01:11:50,720 --> 01:11:54,080
Speaker 3: hates dogs. Over the coming months, I occasionally went down

1479
01:11:54,080 --> 01:11:55,880
Speaker 3: to the house to get the things that the kids

1480
01:11:55,920 --> 01:11:59,519
Speaker 3: needed toys, clothes, et cetera. But he expected me to

1481
01:11:59,560 --> 01:12:03,600
Speaker 3: ask for permission before going to the house. I think not.

1482
01:12:04,560 --> 01:12:06,800
Speaker 3: Here are a few things that he did while I

1483
01:12:06,880 --> 01:12:10,640
Speaker 3: was living out my parents. He didn't set up the

1484
01:12:10,680 --> 01:12:13,840
Speaker 3: bills in his name. I had canceled everything which was

1485
01:12:13,840 --> 01:12:16,639
Speaker 3: in my name. If I'm not living there, I'm not paying.

1486
01:12:17,479 --> 01:12:20,599
Speaker 3: He saw the kids for two hours a week after school,

1487
01:12:21,160 --> 01:12:23,280
Speaker 3: one of which my son was feeling poorly, and by

1488
01:12:23,320 --> 01:12:26,320
Speaker 3: the time I got to him, he was nearly hospitalized

1489
01:12:26,680 --> 01:12:29,880
Speaker 3: due to how high his fever was. Yes, because Bob

1490
01:12:30,439 --> 01:12:33,640
Speaker 3: forgot to give him pain relief or even buy some

1491
01:12:33,840 --> 01:12:36,759
Speaker 3: from the shop that he had been in earlier that day,

1492
01:12:37,240 --> 01:12:39,320
Speaker 3: knowing that his son was unwell.

1493
01:12:39,760 --> 01:12:43,959
Speaker 1: Wow, terrrible dad. Terrible dad alert, Oh my goodness.

1494
01:12:44,320 --> 01:12:47,160
Speaker 3: He also started packing all his belongings, but said that

1495
01:12:47,200 --> 01:12:50,479
Speaker 3: he wasn't moving out. Strange but important for the next part.

1496
01:12:51,040 --> 01:12:54,360
Speaker 3: He tried to sell the house without my permission or acknowledgment.

1497
01:12:54,760 --> 01:12:56,720
Speaker 3: He begged me to sell the house so that he

1498
01:12:56,720 --> 01:12:58,679
Speaker 3: would pay for the divorce if I agreed to sell,

1499
01:12:58,960 --> 01:13:01,600
Speaker 3: but he was informed at once the divorce was finalized,

1500
01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:03,200
Speaker 3: then I would think about it.

1501
01:13:04,280 --> 01:13:06,400
Speaker 1: This is where it gets juicy.

1502
01:13:06,760 --> 01:13:09,040
Speaker 3: I had been to my parents for abround six weeks

1503
01:13:09,080 --> 01:13:10,639
Speaker 3: when I decided to go to the house and get

1504
01:13:10,680 --> 01:13:13,439
Speaker 3: some bits I needed for the warmer weather for me

1505
01:13:13,560 --> 01:13:14,240
Speaker 3: and the children.

1506
01:13:14,800 --> 01:13:16,839
Speaker 1: When I walked in, he was sat on the sofa

1507
01:13:16,920 --> 01:13:17,599
Speaker 1: looking worried.

1508
01:13:18,040 --> 01:13:21,479
Speaker 3: He informed me that the house was being repossessed due

1509
01:13:21,520 --> 01:13:23,240
Speaker 3: to the arrears on the mortgage.

1510
01:13:23,880 --> 01:13:25,920
Speaker 1: What arrears, I wasn't aware of any.

1511
01:13:26,479 --> 01:13:28,439
Speaker 3: He said that it was from when he was out

1512
01:13:28,439 --> 01:13:32,040
Speaker 3: of work and only paying the bare minimum. Plausible, yes,

1513
01:13:32,160 --> 01:13:34,639
Speaker 3: But when he said that it was seven thousand pounds,

1514
01:13:34,920 --> 01:13:38,639
Speaker 3: something didn't sit right. He's lying to you, Yeah, he's

1515
01:13:38,680 --> 01:13:40,760
Speaker 3: been lying to you. The next day I rung the

1516
01:13:40,800 --> 01:13:43,760
Speaker 3: mortgage company and explained my situation. I explained that I

1517
01:13:43,760 --> 01:13:45,760
Speaker 3: had never dealt with the mortgage, so I literally have

1518
01:13:45,880 --> 01:13:49,000
Speaker 3: no clue about all this. The lovely woman I spoke

1519
01:13:49,040 --> 01:13:50,880
Speaker 3: to told me that he had not been paying the

1520
01:13:50,880 --> 01:13:54,920
Speaker 3: mortgage for a year and had canceled the payments thirteen

1521
01:13:55,040 --> 01:14:01,000
Speaker 3: months before. As you would expect, I was angry all

1522
01:14:01,040 --> 01:14:04,360
Speaker 3: of it, but I used it to my advantage. I

1523
01:14:04,400 --> 01:14:06,759
Speaker 3: asked the mortgage company to send me a printed version

1524
01:14:06,760 --> 01:14:09,760
Speaker 3: of the mortgage statement, and my plan was set into motion.

1525
01:14:10,600 --> 01:14:14,360
Speaker 3: It was the longest two weeks of my life. As

1526
01:14:14,400 --> 01:14:16,599
Speaker 3: you will remember from earlier in my post, my ex

1527
01:14:16,640 --> 01:14:19,160
Speaker 3: mother in law was sending him money to cover all

1528
01:14:19,200 --> 01:14:22,639
Speaker 3: of the bills, including the mortgage, so I wrote her

1529
01:14:22,760 --> 01:14:26,280
Speaker 3: a letter explained what I had found out, and nicely

1530
01:14:26,320 --> 01:14:29,559
Speaker 3: attached a copy of the statements for proof. This letter

1531
01:14:29,800 --> 01:14:32,679
Speaker 3: sat on my bedside table for weeks, and every time

1532
01:14:32,680 --> 01:14:35,960
Speaker 3: I spotted it, I giggled a bit. A few weeks later,

1533
01:14:36,160 --> 01:14:38,400
Speaker 3: he asked if he could have the children as his

1534
01:14:38,479 --> 01:14:41,479
Speaker 3: cousin forty five female let's call her Tracy, was visiting.

1535
01:14:42,040 --> 01:14:44,800
Speaker 3: I agreed and they had a lovely time. He said

1536
01:14:44,840 --> 01:14:47,679
Speaker 3: that he was off away that weekend of Tracey's family

1537
01:14:47,760 --> 01:14:50,439
Speaker 3: to see them, as it had been a while, perfect

1538
01:14:50,520 --> 01:14:52,160
Speaker 3: timing for part two.

1539
01:14:52,040 --> 01:14:52,799
Speaker 1: Of my plan.

1540
01:14:53,800 --> 01:14:56,160
Speaker 3: He went on Thursday, which was also the day that

1541
01:14:56,240 --> 01:14:58,800
Speaker 3: I sent the letter to mother in law. Next day

1542
01:14:59,120 --> 01:15:03,080
Speaker 3: recorded delivery and I would be informed when it had

1543
01:15:03,120 --> 01:15:07,000
Speaker 3: been received. On the Friday, I went to the house

1544
01:15:07,000 --> 01:15:09,920
Speaker 3: to get more things, only to find the security chain

1545
01:15:10,000 --> 01:15:12,080
Speaker 3: that had been put on the inside of the door

1546
01:15:12,240 --> 01:15:13,360
Speaker 3: so I couldn't get in.

1547
01:15:13,800 --> 01:15:16,840
Speaker 1: What is locking her out? Ye yi?

1548
01:15:17,160 --> 01:15:20,000
Speaker 3: I went to the neighbors who were quote looking after

1549
01:15:20,040 --> 01:15:22,560
Speaker 3: the dog to ask for the back door keyt to

1550
01:15:22,600 --> 01:15:25,640
Speaker 3: which he looked confused. The dog had been left in

1551
01:15:25,720 --> 01:15:29,400
Speaker 3: the cage and was going to be in there all weekend,

1552
01:15:30,200 --> 01:15:33,679
Speaker 3: no food, no water, and sitting in her own mess.

1553
01:15:34,280 --> 01:15:36,599
Speaker 1: I broke the chain off of the door to get her.

1554
01:15:36,800 --> 01:15:40,240
Speaker 1: She was a mess. She was skinny and covered in fleas.

1555
01:15:40,560 --> 01:15:43,000
Speaker 1: At this point I haven't seen her in maybe four weeks.

1556
01:15:43,640 --> 01:15:45,360
Speaker 1: The house was disgusting.

1557
01:15:45,520 --> 01:15:48,639
Speaker 3: The smell was vile, and there was rubbish all over,

1558
01:15:49,360 --> 01:15:55,040
Speaker 3: empty adult soda cans, moldy food, you name it. Only

1559
01:15:55,120 --> 01:15:58,000
Speaker 3: days earlier my children were playing in that mess.

1560
01:15:58,080 --> 01:16:02,679
Speaker 1: Dude, you gotta call like CPS, animals, animal, you know whatever,

1561
01:16:03,000 --> 01:16:07,200
Speaker 1: right like this is, oh my gosh, this just hazardous

1562
01:16:07,200 --> 01:16:09,120
Speaker 1: and also just like abuse to your animal.

1563
01:16:09,280 --> 01:16:09,599
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1564
01:16:09,640 --> 01:16:13,920
Speaker 3: Absolutely. I felt sick to my stomach. How can he

1565
01:16:14,000 --> 01:16:16,000
Speaker 3: even think that that was an acceptable place to have

1566
01:16:16,160 --> 01:16:16,920
Speaker 3: the children in?

1567
01:16:17,560 --> 01:16:18,160
Speaker 1: He wrung me.

1568
01:16:18,280 --> 01:16:20,559
Speaker 3: Not long after I got in the house and I

1569
01:16:20,640 --> 01:16:23,800
Speaker 3: told him everything I told him I know about the mortgage.

1570
01:16:23,920 --> 01:16:26,040
Speaker 3: I told him I was taking over the mortgage and

1571
01:16:26,080 --> 01:16:27,960
Speaker 3: that he can come and get his stuff out of

1572
01:16:28,000 --> 01:16:34,920
Speaker 3: the house. I punted his sorry butt out, good, good good.

1573
01:16:35,360 --> 01:16:37,519
Speaker 3: He was aware that his mom had gotten my letter

1574
01:16:37,560 --> 01:16:39,840
Speaker 3: and had ripped him a new one because of it.

1575
01:16:40,160 --> 01:16:42,680
Speaker 3: The next day, I rallied my troops and we got

1576
01:16:42,720 --> 01:16:45,880
Speaker 3: the house cleaned, tidied, and livable again. Me and my

1577
01:16:45,960 --> 01:16:49,000
Speaker 3: babies had our home back, but not before I got

1578
01:16:49,000 --> 01:16:52,360
Speaker 3: some revenge. Bob has a shoe issue. He keeps all

1579
01:16:52,400 --> 01:16:55,439
Speaker 3: his shoes in the original boxes. So being the petty

1580
01:16:56,080 --> 01:16:59,559
Speaker 3: bee I am, I separated every pair, put them in

1581
01:16:59,600 --> 01:17:03,400
Speaker 3: different bags, and put the boxes in the recycling. There

1582
01:17:03,479 --> 01:17:07,160
Speaker 3: were some important documents which were folded into tiny squares

1583
01:17:07,200 --> 01:17:11,200
Speaker 3: and placed in different bags. I unpacked the expensive knife

1584
01:17:11,240 --> 01:17:14,120
Speaker 3: set that I bought and put it back into my kitchen,

1585
01:17:14,479 --> 01:17:18,840
Speaker 3: and the best one I found a half used box

1586
01:17:18,880 --> 01:17:21,880
Speaker 3: of Viagra, so I pocketed that for later.

1587
01:17:22,040 --> 01:17:25,960
Speaker 1: Pettiness. This is pretty wild. I'm a little worried about Yobi. Yeah.

1588
01:17:26,880 --> 01:17:29,840
Speaker 3: Later that night he rung and I told him everything

1589
01:17:29,880 --> 01:17:31,720
Speaker 3: it would be on the driveway the next day for

1590
01:17:31,800 --> 01:17:34,360
Speaker 3: him to come and collect it or it was going

1591
01:17:34,439 --> 01:17:37,799
Speaker 3: in the bin. Sure enough, he turned up and greeting

1592
01:17:37,880 --> 01:17:41,040
Speaker 3: him was the packet of viagra front and center of

1593
01:17:41,080 --> 01:17:44,200
Speaker 3: all his stuff. Me and my troops were all watching

1594
01:17:44,240 --> 01:17:47,120
Speaker 3: from the bedroom window while him, Tracy and his friend

1595
01:17:47,520 --> 01:17:50,840
Speaker 3: packed everything into the cars, and my uncle and aunt

1596
01:17:50,920 --> 01:17:54,519
Speaker 3: sat on the bench opposite watching and waving him off.

1597
01:17:54,960 --> 01:17:57,160
Speaker 3: By the way, just like how you're watching us.

1598
01:17:57,200 --> 01:18:00,400
Speaker 1: Now. You can also listen to us on bough By,

1599
01:18:00,439 --> 01:18:04,000
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts or iHeartRadio. We've got full episodes, more stories

1600
01:18:04,040 --> 01:18:06,640
Speaker 1: just like this one. So search okay, story time, So

1601
01:18:06,640 --> 01:18:09,120
Speaker 1: we're on there, We're on there. But oh my gosh,

1602
01:18:09,160 --> 01:18:10,559
Speaker 1: there's a little bit more to the story.

1603
01:18:10,600 --> 01:18:13,679
Speaker 3: But wow, wow wait whow.

1604
01:18:13,880 --> 01:18:15,840
Speaker 1: I'm also just a little bit confused with like what

1605
01:18:15,840 --> 01:18:19,840
Speaker 1: what the actual pettiness is, Like she, yeah, I put

1606
01:18:19,880 --> 01:18:22,000
Speaker 1: all the shoes into bags and put them on.

1607
01:18:21,920 --> 01:18:26,920
Speaker 3: The I think maybe it's maybe playing to his organizational

1608
01:18:26,960 --> 01:18:29,840
Speaker 3: issues or something. If he always like keeps them in

1609
01:18:29,880 --> 01:18:32,760
Speaker 3: certain boxes. He's just like she's just separating them and

1610
01:18:32,760 --> 01:18:34,960
Speaker 3: spreading them all out. So it's like hard to deal with.

1611
01:18:35,960 --> 01:18:38,080
Speaker 3: I've seen some petty moves that are worse than that.

1612
01:18:38,240 --> 01:18:42,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's really like it doesn't sound like crazy. Yeah.

1613
01:18:42,640 --> 01:18:44,640
Speaker 1: I was really worried about the knife thing. I was like,

1614
01:18:44,680 --> 01:18:46,080
Speaker 1: is she gonna put a knife in that bit? Oh?

1615
01:18:46,120 --> 01:18:49,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's doing anything the knife, She's just keeping the knives.

1616
01:18:49,240 --> 01:18:49,599
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1617
01:18:49,680 --> 01:18:53,800
Speaker 1: I mean, like, I don't recommend pettiness, especially when it's

1618
01:18:53,840 --> 01:18:58,599
Speaker 1: like anytime you know, someone's messing with another person's property.

1619
01:18:58,600 --> 01:19:00,840
Speaker 1: That can get a little bit dicey in terms of reality.

1620
01:19:01,280 --> 01:19:04,560
Speaker 1: But it seems like you haven't really done anything right.

1621
01:19:04,280 --> 01:19:08,240
Speaker 1: A few days later, I found out that Bob and

1622
01:19:08,280 --> 01:19:12,120
Speaker 1: Tracy were in a relationship. Dude, I freaking called it.

1623
01:19:12,360 --> 01:19:13,760
Speaker 3: Yes, they are cousins.

1624
01:19:13,840 --> 01:19:14,880
Speaker 4: No, I didn't call that.

1625
01:19:15,080 --> 01:19:17,719
Speaker 1: I just thought, oh, he's lying that they're not cousins

1626
01:19:17,760 --> 01:19:20,439
Speaker 1: and they're actually in a relationship, but they're buff. Yeah.

1627
01:19:20,479 --> 01:19:22,200
Speaker 1: I was like, wait a second, wasn't it like the

1628
01:19:22,240 --> 01:19:23,840
Speaker 1: family that was like helping him out.

1629
01:19:23,760 --> 01:19:27,640
Speaker 3: Like Bob and Tracy are in a related with their cousin.

1630
01:19:28,920 --> 01:19:36,880
Speaker 1: And Bob is the husband. Yeah, jail, Oh my gosh, police, police, jail.

1631
01:19:37,520 --> 01:19:40,479
Speaker 3: So he had cheated on me with her before we

1632
01:19:40,600 --> 01:19:41,720
Speaker 3: had split up.

1633
01:19:42,000 --> 01:19:43,519
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

1634
01:19:43,560 --> 01:19:46,200
Speaker 3: He is still a jobless bum living four hours away

1635
01:19:46,200 --> 01:19:48,679
Speaker 3: from his kids with his mom, who, by the way,

1636
01:19:48,960 --> 01:19:51,200
Speaker 3: didn't take kindly to me, outing.

1637
01:19:50,840 --> 01:19:52,559
Speaker 1: Her son as such a bad person.

1638
01:19:53,080 --> 01:19:55,640
Speaker 3: He sees his children once every six weeks and is

1639
01:19:55,720 --> 01:19:58,760
Speaker 3: forced to pay child sports. As for me, I'm still

1640
01:19:58,800 --> 01:19:59,920
Speaker 3: living in my house.

1641
01:20:00,479 --> 01:20:03,400
Speaker 1: I have been promoted, I have a new partner who

1642
01:20:03,479 --> 01:20:06,920
Speaker 1: is amazing, and me my two children and our Doggie

1643
01:20:07,000 --> 01:20:10,840
Speaker 1: sidekick are all doing amazing and that is the end

1644
01:20:10,840 --> 01:20:16,519
Speaker 1: of that story. What I didn't I didn't see that coming. Yeah,

1645
01:20:16,880 --> 01:20:17,880
Speaker 1: I didn't see that coming.

1646
01:20:18,000 --> 01:20:19,960
Speaker 3: Some crazy left turns in that one.

1647
01:20:20,120 --> 01:20:22,960
Speaker 1: There's so many left turns that we did a circle,

1648
01:20:23,400 --> 01:20:25,519
Speaker 1: We did a circle, we did a little like I

1649
01:20:25,520 --> 01:20:28,519
Speaker 1: guess a square, accidentally kept it and we actually kept

1650
01:20:28,560 --> 01:20:31,920
Speaker 1: it in its Yeah. Wow, Wow, not.

1651
01:20:32,000 --> 01:20:34,479
Speaker 3: Where I was expecting that was gonna go.

1652
01:20:34,680 --> 01:20:39,080
Speaker 1: No, got, You're out of that. Yeah, glad you're doing

1653
01:20:39,120 --> 01:20:42,720
Speaker 1: well now, crazy journey to get there, but wow,