1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,720
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Samp this is John. We're the ancient

2
00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:05,480
Speaker 1: two case story Time podcast hosts, and we have some

3
00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:08,039
Speaker 1: ancient wisdom in the stories coming up. If you want

4
00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:10,720
Speaker 1: to hear the wisdom from two old heads that know

5
00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:12,600
Speaker 1: more than they know what to do with, you're gonna

6
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:15,160
Speaker 1: have to wait for a quick message from our sponsors

7
00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:16,520
Speaker 1: for the next two minutes or so.

8
00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:20,080
Speaker 2: I found out that my girlfriend's having an affair, so

9
00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:22,200
Speaker 2: I'm starting a new life.

10
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,480
Speaker 3: Guess what, that's just fair?

11
00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:27,320
Speaker 4: New year knew me. Sorry, this is a long one.

12
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:30,880
Speaker 2: I work in politics in the dark smoky room side,

13
00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:32,919
Speaker 2: and for the past six months, my girlfriend and I

14
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,400
Speaker 2: haven't seen much of each other because of a recent promotion.

15
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:38,600
Speaker 4: That's been the opportunity of a lifetime. Let's call her.

16
00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:41,960
Speaker 2: H By the way, this comes from user Alone Again

17
00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:45,279
Speaker 2: eleven and if you want to submit your own stories,

18
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:48,840
Speaker 2: go to our slash Okay Storytime submit them there. Helen

19
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:53,000
Speaker 2: and I have been together since university, and to be blunt,

20
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:56,680
Speaker 2: she was the love of my life, sweet, dedicated, fiercely loyal,

21
00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:59,760
Speaker 2: and my best friend. Together we've done some pretty amazing things.

22
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,920
Speaker 2: When I look back on my life highlights, our travels

23
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:05,920
Speaker 2: and years together will definitely be on there. Helen and

24
00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:08,080
Speaker 2: I have been finding the time away from each other tough.

25
00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:11,160
Speaker 2: I work from about six thirty am to eleven pm

26
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,920
Speaker 2: and tend to be on the phone on weekends. However,

27
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,360
Speaker 2: she's been really supportive and has continued to tell me

28
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,679
Speaker 2: to focus on the job for now. We both planned

29
00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:20,800
Speaker 2: to move to New York City together once I had

30
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,800
Speaker 2: completed this job. I know now that it's been a

31
00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:26,520
Speaker 2: lot harder for Helen than she let on, and for me,

32
00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:30,479
Speaker 2: I've just desperately missed my partner. However, long ago now,

33
00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:33,000
Speaker 2: I came down into the bathroom to say good morning

34
00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:36,080
Speaker 2: to Helen and noticed a big love bite on her neck,

35
00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:39,000
Speaker 2: which she'd been hiding under big jumpers, which is she

36
00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:41,680
Speaker 2: was probably just riding a horse and the horse bitter

37
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:42,759
Speaker 2: A big deal.

38
00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:44,560
Speaker 5: It was a.

39
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:47,400
Speaker 6: Nou Yeah, she just really wanted to like she went

40
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:48,720
Speaker 6: to the five D Experience.

41
00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:51,840
Speaker 2: I confronted her about said love bite, and as I

42
00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:54,480
Speaker 2: hadn't been able to touch her in weeks after contracting

43
00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:56,120
Speaker 2: scaties in Africa.

44
00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:57,680
Speaker 6: But what do you do for a living?

45
00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:01,920
Speaker 2: He's a secret back room political advisor guy. Yeah, he's

46
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,240
Speaker 2: not specific because it's very smoky, shadowy back room.

47
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:05,440
Speaker 4: Give more politics.

48
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:08,680
Speaker 2: He's like the guy making the decisions that like impact

49
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:10,640
Speaker 2: the real decisions, you know what I mean. He's like

50
00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:12,760
Speaker 2: making the decisions no one knows about that no one

51
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:15,079
Speaker 2: votes for. Anyway, I knew it wasn't me. This all

52
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:17,520
Speaker 2: happened so fast. I barely remember anything that was said.

53
00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:20,120
Speaker 2: I just remember the feeling that my stomach was suddenly

54
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:22,840
Speaker 2: lined with lead. She told me it was an allergic

55
00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:25,640
Speaker 2: reaction of all things, but after pressing her, it became

56
00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:28,400
Speaker 2: clear she was hiding something, and then it quickly became

57
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,480
Speaker 2: clear that we both knew what had happened. It turns

58
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,840
Speaker 2: out that she cheated with a mutual friend that she

59
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,520
Speaker 2: secretly met up with. She says she went to him

60
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:38,560
Speaker 2: for advice about a relationship and ended up seeking affection

61
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,800
Speaker 2: from him. The pipeline needs to be studied.

62
00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:40,920
Speaker 4: She told me.

63
00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:44,639
Speaker 2: Obviously begged for another chance and asked me to marry her,

64
00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:46,880
Speaker 2: and then eventually left in a taxi to her friend's

65
00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:49,120
Speaker 2: house with her bags that I packed for her.

66
00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:51,040
Speaker 4: Oh wow, good job, guy, I mean.

67
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:54,000
Speaker 6: She'd please me. I did this because I loved you, I.

68
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:56,200
Speaker 2: Mean honestly, though, Like I'm not saying that it gives

69
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:59,240
Speaker 2: her a pass. Six thirty am to eleven pm and

70
00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:02,040
Speaker 2: you're on the phone. You're just not that's not you

71
00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:04,440
Speaker 2: can't be in a relationship. That's not you're in a

72
00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:06,120
Speaker 2: relationship with your job only.

73
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,840
Speaker 6: That's true, but still being like, hey, I don't think

74
00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:09,720
Speaker 6: it's gonna work out.

75
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,040
Speaker 2: Right exactly, She that's when you just break up. You

76
00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,080
Speaker 2: don't cheat on your guy. Gut you're excited.

77
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,320
Speaker 4: He's like, She's like, oh, you discuss it.

78
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:18,720
Speaker 2: Say like, I feel like I'm really not in a

79
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:21,680
Speaker 2: happy place right now, Like i feel like I'm completely alone,

80
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,160
Speaker 2: and said she went to this other guy who knows why.

81
00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:26,560
Speaker 2: Maybe she tried to talk before, and he said, sorry, baby,

82
00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:27,800
Speaker 2: i'm on the phone with Washington.

83
00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:28,720
Speaker 4: I can't anyways.

84
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,280
Speaker 2: The house is all mine, we're not married, and there's

85
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,920
Speaker 2: nothing legal to worry about here. After she left, I

86
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:37,280
Speaker 2: calmly got everything ready for work, made myself a packed lunch,

87
00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,200
Speaker 2: ironed my shirt, and then just lost it, sitting down

88
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:43,440
Speaker 2: with some whiskey and some smokes, wallowing in self pity

89
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,560
Speaker 2: for the night. This has been my nightly routine for

90
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,000
Speaker 2: the last week. I've had a history of depression, so

91
00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:51,160
Speaker 2: Whilst this has hit me unbelievably hard, the numbness and

92
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:54,080
Speaker 2: feelings of emptiness ultimately make it easier to get things done.

93
00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:56,160
Speaker 2: This guy does work in politics too. That's the most

94
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,320
Speaker 2: works in politics thing I've ever seen. I'm not a

95
00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:01,400
Speaker 2: crying wreck. I'm just kind of Over the next few days,

96
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,400
Speaker 2: I kept silent, didn't respond to any of the ninety

97
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:08,080
Speaker 2: missed calls. Eventually, I rang her and told her we're over.

98
00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:10,680
Speaker 2: I forgave her and dropped all of her things at

99
00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:13,000
Speaker 2: my friend's house while Helen was out at work. The

100
00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:15,480
Speaker 2: thing is, I really don't hate her for this. I

101
00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:18,279
Speaker 2: understand how she was feeling, and I know my job

102
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:20,080
Speaker 2: got in the way of what was a very close

103
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:23,680
Speaker 2: and spontaneous relationship and he became different people. I can

104
00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:26,159
Speaker 2: forgive her, but we have to be over. I'll never

105
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:28,800
Speaker 2: trust her again, and I can't have her in my

106
00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:31,240
Speaker 2: life anymore, especially not when it's not even a good

107
00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:33,520
Speaker 2: idea for me to have a partner while my life

108
00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:36,039
Speaker 2: is like this. Whilst I forgive her, it doesn't mean

109
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:37,920
Speaker 2: I can ever love her like I did. The next

110
00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:40,400
Speaker 2: few days kind of led to a few impulse decisions.

111
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,400
Speaker 2: I went straight to my boss, who was also one

112
00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:44,880
Speaker 2: of my best friends who bless him, offered to give

113
00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:47,839
Speaker 2: up all his annual leaves so I could sort myself

114
00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:50,440
Speaker 2: out annually. She's like the amount of time that.

115
00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:52,880
Speaker 4: You get off per day. So he was like, I'll

116
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:53,520
Speaker 4: give you my.

117
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:56,440
Speaker 3: Biggest that's really crazy, that's really nice.

118
00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,239
Speaker 6: He's working in politics. He's like, I know this guy's

119
00:04:58,240 --> 00:04:59,880
Speaker 6: gonna be someone someday. You know my vig.

120
00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:02,479
Speaker 4: Yeah, they've probably been on a lot of smoky backrooms together,

121
00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:03,800
Speaker 4: making a lot of shady deals.

122
00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,600
Speaker 2: Vote So when I told him being in that house

123
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,680
Speaker 2: would just bring back bad memories, he made me an

124
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:12,400
Speaker 2: offer a year long position working on an enormous project

125
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,520
Speaker 2: for an international government, and I took it.

126
00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:15,320
Speaker 4: Does this guy do?

127
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,400
Speaker 6: I don't know this guy's super village. I feel like

128
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,040
Speaker 6: we're about to see the Latin its monster in Bigfoot.

129
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,480
Speaker 4: Dab up. He's at the.

130
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:22,760
Speaker 6: End here in a few sentences.

131
00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:27,279
Speaker 2: This involves a completely new role, a new life in

132
00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:30,039
Speaker 2: a new country, and a completely different kind of office

133
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,240
Speaker 2: and project. So I put my house up for rent,

134
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:34,320
Speaker 2: which my brother will look after for me, and decided

135
00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:36,400
Speaker 2: to just buy a ticket and head to my new

136
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,480
Speaker 2: home early before the position starts.

137
00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:40,159
Speaker 4: It also makes the visa stuff easier.

138
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,919
Speaker 2: I have not told Helen because I've tried to maintain

139
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:45,560
Speaker 2: no contact and she has all of her things already.

140
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:49,680
Speaker 2: Taxis coming in about two hours, So here are my questions?

141
00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:52,120
Speaker 2: Should I tell her? Is it classless to let her

142
00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,280
Speaker 2: find out from a friend? Honestly, yeah, a little bit.

143
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:55,400
Speaker 6: It's classless to cheat?

144
00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,760
Speaker 2: That's also fair. Actually, I take that back. What am

145
00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,440
Speaker 2: I talking about? I don't know what I said. Erase

146
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,440
Speaker 2: that from the record. Keep reading their questions?

147
00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:03,920
Speaker 4: And then how do I get closure?

148
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,880
Speaker 2: What process can I use when I'm so removed from everything?

149
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,400
Speaker 2: How do I stop this being a quick fix? Is

150
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,479
Speaker 2: there a risk I get home after a year and

151
00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:14,960
Speaker 2: it all just instantly comes back. I'm really fearful that

152
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,200
Speaker 2: all I'm doing is running away from my problem, and

153
00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,960
Speaker 2: I'm worried moving away will mean I never engage with

154
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:23,440
Speaker 2: the fundamental trail. Any readers have tips for moving to

155
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:24,080
Speaker 2: a new country.

156
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:26,119
Speaker 4: How do you meet people? Have I been too rash?

157
00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:29,279
Speaker 2: Importantly, anyone have any tips on getting over cheating. This

158
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:31,000
Speaker 2: is the second time I've been cheated on now, and

159
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:33,080
Speaker 2: whilst I'm quite happy to have a year of just

160
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:35,560
Speaker 2: being single. I'm worried about what happens after that? Is

161
00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:38,120
Speaker 2: there even a point of trying to stay faithful to anyone?

162
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:40,600
Speaker 2: Thanks in advance and thanks for all the support over

163
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,120
Speaker 2: the years. Just help me manage my last week of life.

164
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,400
Speaker 4: Were taking the job, I'm taking the job.

165
00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:47,680
Speaker 2: Job, Yes, if I'm am I if I'm already the

166
00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:49,640
Speaker 2: workaholic guy, this guy is, I'm taking the job.

167
00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:49,960
Speaker 4: Yep.

168
00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:53,080
Speaker 7: Well it's a good answer for OP like this is

169
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:56,000
Speaker 7: something to distract them. That's how you get over cheating.

170
00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,720
Speaker 2: I do think that if you're you're struggling with feelings

171
00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,039
Speaker 2: of closure, you do talk to There's nothing that she

172
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:04,880
Speaker 2: like needs you or deserves from you. She cheated on you,

173
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,960
Speaker 2: But for you, if you're having these feelings, having a

174
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,000
Speaker 2: conversation with her is the only way you're gonna get

175
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:10,440
Speaker 2: any closure.

176
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,560
Speaker 7: To give the closure for OP doesn't. You don't know

177
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,960
Speaker 7: her anything. It's what you need and what you want.

178
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,400
Speaker 6: But he's the cool, smoky dark room lobbyist.

179
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:19,160
Speaker 4: Those people aren't.

180
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,000
Speaker 6: Doesn't he doesn't need closure.

181
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:24,840
Speaker 2: Those are not just sounds like a spider does need

182
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,520
Speaker 2: He does need closure. He's cry he's drinking whiskey and

183
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:28,400
Speaker 2: smoking all night.

184
00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:29,000
Speaker 4: Every night.

185
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,640
Speaker 2: He forgave her need to have a conversation with the

186
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,840
Speaker 2: person who wronged you, to clear the air.

187
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:35,560
Speaker 6: They're gone, and so now he can.

188
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,440
Speaker 4: Just leave, not to get her back, so even go.

189
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,040
Speaker 6: To a different country, learn some things.

190
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:41,880
Speaker 2: If you do what Riley said, as soon as you

191
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,480
Speaker 2: get back all of your feelings, you're gonna come back.

192
00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:45,760
Speaker 4: You're gonna be actually where you were when you left, with.

193
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,800
Speaker 6: More tools of knowing different things about cultures.

194
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:49,840
Speaker 4: Face them now.

195
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,680
Speaker 2: No, the problem's not going to get any easier and

196
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:53,880
Speaker 2: it's probably not going to change.

197
00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:55,120
Speaker 6: Let her find out.

198
00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:57,680
Speaker 4: Be cool, a little bit of your disagreement. Don't we

199
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,400
Speaker 4: be mysterious? So that's what you do best to.

200
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:04,080
Speaker 2: The comments say in regards to telling Helen, no, she's

201
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,440
Speaker 2: not your girlfriend anymore. You owe her nothing. How do

202
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:09,160
Speaker 2: I get closure? There is no closure? Yeah, because he's

203
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:09,920
Speaker 2: not talking to her.

204
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,800
Speaker 4: You did the right thing every step of the way.

205
00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:14,280
Speaker 2: You're doing something that is obviously very healthy for you

206
00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:16,960
Speaker 2: and will lead to new experiences. Anything you did in

207
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,640
Speaker 2: terms of interacting with her to see closure will really

208
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:23,000
Speaker 2: just give her closure, which is again not your problem. Mmm.

209
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,360
Speaker 2: I like that one, but clearly this guy's in need

210
00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,240
Speaker 2: of closure. What is this is just another guy who

211
00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:28,360
Speaker 2: got cheated on who's like.

212
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:29,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, don't talk to her now.

213
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:32,200
Speaker 2: We read pilled this one in regards to well my

214
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:34,520
Speaker 2: feelings come back. I have a great experience over there

215
00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:37,960
Speaker 2: and make memories and make friends find lovers. This, guys,

216
00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:39,920
Speaker 2: did you not listen to him? He's not gonna have

217
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,760
Speaker 2: any time for any of that. Hey, this is a

218
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:46,000
Speaker 2: guy who works from six am to midnight and then

219
00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:48,040
Speaker 2: sleeps and wakes up and does it again.

220
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:49,400
Speaker 4: That's all he else.

221
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:52,120
Speaker 6: The spontaneous part with his partner. Dude, he's gonna have.

222
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:54,480
Speaker 2: Like maybe an hour or that was before he got

223
00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:56,600
Speaker 2: this job. He's gonna before he started working from six

224
00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:59,800
Speaker 2: thirty to eleven, He'll maybe have an hour and slip.

225
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,640
Speaker 2: He's not going to be doing that. Okay, So later

226
00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:04,680
Speaker 2: visit those friends and lovers if you feel like it.

227
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:06,640
Speaker 2: You're rebuilding your life and this is a part of

228
00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:08,480
Speaker 2: that process. When you come back, you'll be a new

229
00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,640
Speaker 2: man in your life. Here will seem better. And as

230
00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:13,520
Speaker 2: far as engaging the betrayal, you've already done that brilliantly.

231
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,199
Speaker 2: Have I been to rash probably, but you know what,

232
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:16,839
Speaker 2: forget it.

233
00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:19,600
Speaker 4: B rash. You're young, have an fing ball over there.

234
00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:23,920
Speaker 4: He's not going to do that though. He's just a workaholic.

235
00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:25,400
Speaker 4: He's a workaholic guy.

236
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,280
Speaker 6: Those work helps you get through things.

237
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,840
Speaker 2: And again, all of my perspective here is not like

238
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,040
Speaker 2: she deserves. It's more like, what does op need? Oh,

239
00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:35,760
Speaker 2: He's like, I'm being tormented by these thoughts. I like,

240
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:37,600
Speaker 2: I don't, I don't do What do I tell her?

241
00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:38,160
Speaker 8: Do I tell her?

242
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:38,440
Speaker 4: Do I not?

243
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,200
Speaker 2: This is what you tell her? You tell her, Hey,

244
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:42,319
Speaker 2: I'm leaving the country. Just wanted to give you the

245
00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,439
Speaker 2: heads up. Nothing here is ever going to go back

246
00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,840
Speaker 2: to the way it was and have a nice rest

247
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:48,320
Speaker 2: of your life.

248
00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:49,240
Speaker 4: That's all you need to say.

249
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,880
Speaker 2: And then you will feel like, Okay, I've literally shut

250
00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:53,960
Speaker 2: the book. Now the book is closed. Comment to says,

251
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,800
Speaker 2: holy crap, don't say a word to her. You dated

252
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:59,360
Speaker 2: six years and have gone no contact. Imagine what she's

253
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,120
Speaker 2: going to do when she finds out you're not even

254
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:02,320
Speaker 2: in the same country anymore.

255
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:06,120
Speaker 4: She will go effing bunkers. Now, are you being rash? Yeah?

256
00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:09,160
Speaker 2: But who gives a If I'd had an opportunity like

257
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,560
Speaker 2: this when I was cheated on twenty some odd years ago,

258
00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:13,679
Speaker 2: I would have left in a heartbeat. Go have fun

259
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:17,160
Speaker 2: in your new city, slash job, make new friends, see

260
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,880
Speaker 2: things you've never seen before. It won't be too long

261
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:23,000
Speaker 2: until this is all just a distant memory. Reply, I

262
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,160
Speaker 2: have to agree. In ten years, when he's with his

263
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,680
Speaker 2: awesome new, high paying job that he's earned, beautiful wife

264
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,760
Speaker 2: he will meet, and with kids popping around, you are

265
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,920
Speaker 2: not going to care one bit about closure with this woman.

266
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,080
Speaker 2: She will be a fleeting memory, someone who tested your

267
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,640
Speaker 2: resolve and character and you passed. She will be known

268
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:39,280
Speaker 2: as a lesson for your future self, nothing more. I

269
00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,640
Speaker 2: agree with all of this. Take her betrayal and use

270
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,960
Speaker 2: all of that negative energy to make yourself the most

271
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:46,520
Speaker 2: bad butt, suave mother effer on the planet. She was

272
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:49,120
Speaker 2: not strong enough in character. You are find a woman

273
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:51,400
Speaker 2: who is. And there isn't update And I agree with

274
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:55,240
Speaker 2: all of this, But it's not about everyone's ignoring everything

275
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,960
Speaker 2: Op said about how he is feeling right now.

276
00:10:58,080 --> 00:10:58,520
Speaker 6: Time out.

277
00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:00,439
Speaker 4: They're telling him how he should feel.

278
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:03,880
Speaker 6: Okay, talking about some inmi stuff. Uh, spiders don't have feelings.

279
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:08,400
Speaker 2: Oh you didn't read that he is not a spy.

280
00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:09,440
Speaker 4: He's not a spy.

281
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,439
Speaker 3: Why would a spy be posting the Reddit. Brother, this

282
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:11,920
Speaker 3: guy's not.

283
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,600
Speaker 6: A spy, dude, he doesn't have feelings, so it doesn't

284
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:15,720
Speaker 6: really matter what he's feeling.

285
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:18,720
Speaker 5: Plus, he's what you mean, what did you just say

286
00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:20,080
Speaker 5: he doesn't have feelings for her?

287
00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:20,280
Speaker 4: No?

288
00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:21,880
Speaker 6: No, no, he doesn't have feelings in general.

289
00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:24,920
Speaker 2: Spo Okay, he did have feelings for her. This devastated

290
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:27,520
Speaker 2: him to a point where he became numb. And speaking

291
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,120
Speaker 2: from experience, when you like, just like sit in numbness,

292
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,640
Speaker 2: you literally go stagging, like you're not solving anything. So

293
00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,520
Speaker 2: his concerns about I get everyone's being like you're better

294
00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:37,160
Speaker 2: than her and you can move on, which is true,

295
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,600
Speaker 2: like you can, But if you just stick in the

296
00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:41,840
Speaker 2: numbness and you don't acknowledge it and you don't move

297
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:43,600
Speaker 2: through it and get to the other side of it,

298
00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:45,240
Speaker 2: in a year when you come back from this job,

299
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:48,760
Speaker 2: you're gonna find yourself in the exact same emotional situation,

300
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,840
Speaker 2: the exact same emotional place that you were in before.

301
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:55,079
Speaker 2: Just tell her be like, I'm gone, We're over still,

302
00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,200
Speaker 2: and I want you to completely let go of this.

303
00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,359
Speaker 4: Don't hold on to me because I'm letting.

304
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:01,280
Speaker 2: Go of you say that out loud, you say that

305
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,640
Speaker 2: to her, and then you leave and have your life.

306
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,600
Speaker 4: But if you leave this completely unsaid and you have

307
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,840
Speaker 4: all these things in your in your heart that are unresolved,

308
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:11,240
Speaker 4: it's not gonna get better. See.

309
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,640
Speaker 6: I was so heartbroken once in my life where I thought,

310
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,000
Speaker 6: you know, I was with someone. I was like, I'm

311
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,640
Speaker 6: gonna marry them. I'm gonna be with them forever. Had

312
00:12:17,679 --> 00:12:19,199
Speaker 6: everything planned out, didn't work out?

313
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,680
Speaker 4: Go live in, I did some.

314
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,679
Speaker 6: I went into spy I went to spy mode, went

315
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:27,640
Speaker 6: to the gym, so working on myself, went to other places,

316
00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:29,840
Speaker 6: got out of my comfort zone. And guess what I'm here.

317
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:32,120
Speaker 6: I let you date this person for six years. I

318
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:33,520
Speaker 6: dated this person for three.

319
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:36,800
Speaker 2: It's not nothing, but I don't know. I've already said it.

320
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,600
Speaker 2: Let's get into the update. Firstly, thank you so much

321
00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:42,480
Speaker 2: for all your support and kind words. It's made it

322
00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:44,560
Speaker 2: a lot easier to keep doing the right thing, and

323
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,200
Speaker 2: I've taken on board so many of your comments. It

324
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:49,240
Speaker 2: really meant a lot, and I felt it more than

325
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,400
Speaker 2: I felt much in the past week or so. So

326
00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:54,760
Speaker 2: some of you may remember that I had some questions

327
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,920
Speaker 2: and that I was on my way to flying out

328
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,320
Speaker 2: to start a new life, which I never mentioned is

329
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:03,000
Speaker 2: in f stuff took some pretty funny turns since then,

330
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:04,280
Speaker 2: and I thought i'd update you.

331
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:06,400
Speaker 4: So I am still not in Africa.

332
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,640
Speaker 2: I missed my flight after my cab was involved in

333
00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:11,280
Speaker 2: a very minor collision. No one was hurt officially, but

334
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:14,360
Speaker 2: you can't get another cab quickly on the motorway. Luckily,

335
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:17,400
Speaker 2: I've got total insurance up to my abbows. I phoned

336
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,440
Speaker 2: my boss to tell him and was about to book

337
00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:21,800
Speaker 2: flights for the weekend when my boss asked me to

338
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:24,320
Speaker 2: stay a few more days as he'd had an absolute

339
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,080
Speaker 2: tidal wave hit his desk. I'd do anything for this guy,

340
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:29,920
Speaker 2: so I obviously agreed, and ended up deciding to stick

341
00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,120
Speaker 2: around for Christmas to say goodbye to my family and

342
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,200
Speaker 2: give them a bit of time before I left for

343
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:34,520
Speaker 2: a year.

344
00:13:34,559 --> 00:13:36,600
Speaker 4: Which is that's nice and thoughtful. That's good. That's good.

345
00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:37,439
Speaker 4: We didn't even think about that.

346
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:39,040
Speaker 2: We didn't even think about the other people in his life,

347
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:40,880
Speaker 2: because we're thinking he's a spy with nobody else in

348
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:41,199
Speaker 2: his life.

349
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:43,800
Speaker 6: Yeah, he's basically an orphan. This is his orphan fam.

350
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:46,880
Speaker 2: Mister Bond, m hmm, James Bond my boss's secretary spent

351
00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:49,600
Speaker 2: most of the week finding me a new flat, booking

352
00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:53,400
Speaker 2: the immunizations, and generally sorting out my life to say

353
00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,080
Speaker 2: thank you, which was really nice. So I haven't told

354
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:59,440
Speaker 2: her I'm leaving, and no contact has been maintained. A

355
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:02,120
Speaker 2: good friend said she managed to have a conversation with

356
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,880
Speaker 2: Helen and made clear that I'm serious about needing a

357
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:08,720
Speaker 2: significant period of silence between us. Ellen is apparently handling

358
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:11,640
Speaker 2: it really badly, sobbing having to have her friends look

359
00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:14,080
Speaker 2: after her phone, et cetera. Which I thought would make

360
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,000
Speaker 2: me happy, but it really doesn't get out of your

361
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,920
Speaker 2: feelings lude because when we've loved somebody, we don't usually

362
00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:21,800
Speaker 2: enjoy the fact that they're in misery, even if they've

363
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:25,160
Speaker 2: wronged us, because humans have hearts. There is one person

364
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:28,000
Speaker 2: I told her father now anyone else on here, I

365
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:32,120
Speaker 2: would strongly advise against breaking no contact for ex's family members,

366
00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:34,760
Speaker 2: but you have to understand that I cannot not answer

367
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,000
Speaker 2: the phone for this man. I have so much respect

368
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:38,840
Speaker 2: for him, and we've spent a huge amount of time

369
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:42,200
Speaker 2: alone drinking his amazing whiskey collection and talking about things.

370
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:42,760
Speaker 4: He's given me.

371
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,400
Speaker 2: A lot of vital support and counsel in my life,

372
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,200
Speaker 2: and I'd be much worse off without him. He wanted

373
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,040
Speaker 2: to know if I could ever forgive his daughter. I

374
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:53,760
Speaker 2: explained that there is no point in continuing now that

375
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:57,680
Speaker 2: the trust is fundamentally destroyed, and he apologized and accepted that.

376
00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:00,520
Speaker 2: He actually told me I should think about getting myself

377
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:02,800
Speaker 2: away for some alone time and begged me to meet

378
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:04,520
Speaker 2: up with him in the city I work in. At

379
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:06,720
Speaker 2: this point, I told him where I'm going and asked

380
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:09,120
Speaker 2: him not to tell Helen until I'm gone. He promised

381
00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,120
Speaker 2: he would honor my wishes, and that was enough for me.

382
00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:14,400
Speaker 2: This man is old school. I also left some messages

383
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:18,040
Speaker 2: to pass on to family members clandestinely another spy term

384
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:21,000
Speaker 2: once I'm gone, because the whole family has been amazing

385
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,360
Speaker 2: to me. My time since has been much smoother than

386
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:24,880
Speaker 2: it could have been. I hit the gym a lot,

387
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,600
Speaker 2: Rule number one and have spent at least two hours

388
00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:30,200
Speaker 2: every night except Christmas sparring with my brother.

389
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:31,560
Speaker 4: He is a spy. This guy's a spy.

390
00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:32,480
Speaker 6: I told you, bro.

391
00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:34,960
Speaker 2: I've caught up with old friends before I leave and

392
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,240
Speaker 2: spent a lot of time with my family. We managed

393
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:39,920
Speaker 2: to complete the business that landed on my boss's desk,

394
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,880
Speaker 2: and he took me for an incredible goodbye meal with

395
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,080
Speaker 2: himself and his wife, which was nice. It was some

396
00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:48,800
Speaker 2: unlimited meat joint, which makes me wonder why all things

397
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,760
Speaker 2: aren't unlimited meat spy nice.

398
00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:55,240
Speaker 4: My own mood has been promising. For a few days.

399
00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:58,920
Speaker 2: There was a concerning intensity of numbness, but keeping myself

400
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:02,080
Speaker 2: busy really helped me feel normal again. Can't stress enough

401
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,160
Speaker 2: to everyone out there how important it is to get

402
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:07,120
Speaker 2: up and do stuff rather than wallowing. It changes your

403
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,960
Speaker 2: whole mindset and makes everything so much easier. In terms

404
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:12,320
Speaker 2: of other plans, I've already signed up to a white

405
00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:14,920
Speaker 2: tie chym out there and managed to find an old

406
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:17,680
Speaker 2: training partner who's working in the same city, so I've

407
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,920
Speaker 2: organized a meet up. My plan is to just treat

408
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:23,360
Speaker 2: this a bit like a year out at university. Work hard, yeah,

409
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:24,920
Speaker 2: but I'm going to get as much out of the

410
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:27,200
Speaker 2: experience as I can. I plan to blow all the

411
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:30,080
Speaker 2: money I was saving for Helen's birthday holiday. Thank you

412
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:32,360
Speaker 2: to everyone who assured me that there are some people

413
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,400
Speaker 2: you can trust out there. But I think, at least

414
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,240
Speaker 2: for a while, I'm going to have to be single.

415
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:38,400
Speaker 2: I'm thinking of going to get some help because I

416
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,720
Speaker 2: know that functionally i'll be single for at least a year,

417
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,560
Speaker 2: and I don't want distrust to become my default setting

418
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,720
Speaker 2: when to see my old psych about my depression flaring up.

419
00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:49,560
Speaker 2: Who thought I was doing really well considering the circumstances.

420
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,320
Speaker 4: So yay uh.

421
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:54,040
Speaker 2: I'm looking forward to my new life so much, and

422
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:57,080
Speaker 2: I feel much better about my ability to use it

423
00:16:57,160 --> 00:17:00,120
Speaker 2: as a new start rather than just running away and

424
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,640
Speaker 2: hiding my feelings. I might write Helen a letter one

425
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:04,880
Speaker 2: day to get some answers to some questions, but I'm

426
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:07,840
Speaker 2: still undecided and probably wouldn't go ahead with it until

427
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:10,199
Speaker 2: I'm sure I'm on the way to recovery. To everyone

428
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:13,119
Speaker 2: out there, follow the advice on here, keep yourself busy

429
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,879
Speaker 2: and stick with no contact. The whole next year is

430
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:19,120
Speaker 2: about me, and I'm excited about what I can produce.

431
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:21,080
Speaker 4: Thank you everyone, and good luck.

432
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,080
Speaker 2: And there are some kind where there was a comment,

433
00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:25,720
Speaker 2: but let's just go into the second update, which I

434
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:28,240
Speaker 2: already know what you think, right he's a spy. No, yes,

435
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,480
Speaker 2: he's a spy, but about like the way he was

436
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:31,920
Speaker 2: talking with he was like, I just want to. I

437
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,439
Speaker 2: want the book to be closed. I want to make

438
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,879
Speaker 2: sure I'm not running away for my feelings. And everyone

439
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:38,000
Speaker 2: was just like, keep not talking to her and just

440
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,280
Speaker 2: run away. I don't agree with that. I think that

441
00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,359
Speaker 2: there's a way he could have been like and it's not.

442
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,280
Speaker 2: I don't think you should ask questions. I don't think

443
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:45,520
Speaker 2: you need to be like, why did you cheat?

444
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:46,040
Speaker 4: Why did you do this?

445
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:46,560
Speaker 8: Why did you do that?

446
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,399
Speaker 2: You need to just be laying out. Hey, these are

447
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:51,439
Speaker 2: the things that are happening. I'm leaving. We're literally done forever.

448
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:55,280
Speaker 2: I guess I wish you the best, ish whatever. Don't

449
00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:58,119
Speaker 2: call me, don't text me, don't come over to my house.

450
00:17:58,240 --> 00:17:58,880
Speaker 4: We're done.

451
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:00,760
Speaker 2: That's what you gotta do. That's what you could do.

452
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:02,760
Speaker 2: And I feel like that would give you the ah.

453
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,520
Speaker 6: Okay, okay, okay, you can get that. Or you can

454
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:08,080
Speaker 6: cause her as much pain as you can. You go

455
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:11,080
Speaker 6: all the way to a different country, you don't say

456
00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:13,600
Speaker 6: a word to her, You disappear off the map. Oh,

457
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:15,400
Speaker 6: she has no idea where you ever.

458
00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:17,240
Speaker 4: Wins could do that or you could do that.

459
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:19,680
Speaker 6: I guess that's some spy stuff, right, and I'm sure

460
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,920
Speaker 6: that won't bother you at all because he's gonna he's

461
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,280
Speaker 6: gonna be behind the bottle. He's gonna punch it harder

462
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:27,359
Speaker 6: at more time, and he's gonna be so much cooler

463
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:27,760
Speaker 6: and better.

464
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:28,760
Speaker 4: Update number two.

465
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:29,639
Speaker 3: He's Tom Cruise.

466
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:32,840
Speaker 4: I'm back in the UK. What did I say for

467
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,600
Speaker 4: a few weeks.

468
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,840
Speaker 2: Visiting some old friends and family and my old boss.

469
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:42,080
Speaker 4: He came to CQ, bro he came to CQ old boss.

470
00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:47,240
Speaker 6: Come on, James Vond, Come on, this guy is James Vond.

471
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:50,280
Speaker 4: He's a spy. I'll say it. So I thought i'd

472
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:51,080
Speaker 4: write an update.

473
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,040
Speaker 2: As some of you might have read, four months ago,

474
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:55,080
Speaker 2: I broke up with my ax after she cheated on me.

475
00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:57,560
Speaker 2: This spurred me to accept a job offer in Africa

476
00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:58,600
Speaker 2: and the rest is history.

477
00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:00,679
Speaker 3: Wait is this that's just a pot of just?

478
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:01,840
Speaker 4: Is this casino royale?

479
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,800
Speaker 3: Is this casino?

480
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:06,119
Speaker 4: Probably? This guy?

481
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:06,720
Speaker 5: This is just?

482
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,480
Speaker 6: This is just I'm telling you I was. I knew

483
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:10,200
Speaker 6: it from the beginning.

484
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:11,359
Speaker 9: That's actually really funny.

485
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:13,080
Speaker 4: We both thought that at the same time.

486
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:15,040
Speaker 3: I was like wait, wait, wait, wait wait wait.

487
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,480
Speaker 2: Firstly, Africa is the most incredible continent in the world.

488
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:21,679
Speaker 2: I'm based in Tanzania, but I've been fortunate enough to

489
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,000
Speaker 2: do a lot of traveling. The new job is incredible.

490
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:28,480
Speaker 2: I got some crazy experience, got my own driver and secretary.

491
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:29,119
Speaker 4: Not a spy.

492
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:32,400
Speaker 2: Not a spy, Spies drive themselves.

493
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:33,560
Speaker 4: He's lying to us right now.

494
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:35,600
Speaker 2: He's saying he had a driver and a secretary, so

495
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 2: he won't know he's a spy.

496
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:38,879
Speaker 4: But he's a spy. We see through you, dang it.

497
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,480
Speaker 2: So I got some crazy experience, got my own driver

498
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,879
Speaker 2: and secretary. Making some really big differences here, and I

499
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,919
Speaker 2: think accepting this job was the best decision of my life.

500
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:49,720
Speaker 2: I'd be sad to leave at.

501
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:50,400
Speaker 4: The end of the year.

502
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,080
Speaker 2: In terms of how I'm dealing with the breakup, this

503
00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:55,240
Speaker 2: has been the perfect way to deal with it.

504
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:56,720
Speaker 4: It's hard to wallow for too.

505
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,119
Speaker 2: Long when you're riding around dirt roads and are sat

506
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:02,520
Speaker 2: with new friends, sharing adult soda and looking at the

507
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,520
Speaker 2: most stunning natural beauty you'll find anywhere. One of the

508
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:09,040
Speaker 2: perkhs of the job is that we work closely with NGOs,

509
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:12,520
Speaker 2: non government organizations who send out lots of aid workers

510
00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:15,600
Speaker 2: and volunteers around my age who are still looking to

511
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:18,240
Speaker 2: have a good time. I'm still single, and it's been

512
00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,840
Speaker 2: great to recapture my youth, go out and be free

513
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:24,160
Speaker 2: making some new life experiences. On another thread, someone said

514
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,440
Speaker 2: that at the start of every good story or adventure,

515
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:29,320
Speaker 2: something like what happened to me must occur to expose

516
00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:31,400
Speaker 2: myself and make me a bit braver than I would

517
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:34,560
Speaker 2: have been. I loved that Ellen has really just been

518
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,160
Speaker 2: the first half of a paragraph in a story that's

519
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:40,679
Speaker 2: been so enjoyable and invigorate. Here is the breakup horn

520
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,200
Speaker 2: that I had to update you all on. This is

521
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,359
Speaker 2: proof that no matter how bad it is now, things

522
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:48,600
Speaker 2: can change, and once you heal, the dynamics of power

523
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:52,360
Speaker 2: can fundamentally shift in an instant. I've maintained no contact

524
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,560
Speaker 2: with Helen. I've been updated by some friends that after

525
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,760
Speaker 2: she found out I left, she asked all my friends

526
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,680
Speaker 2: if they know my African number. She's blocked from all emails,

527
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,359
Speaker 2: social media, and my phone and has been living with

528
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,600
Speaker 2: her parents for months now, having decided to spend some

529
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,960
Speaker 2: time on her own. Bear in mind, I've not seen

530
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:10,000
Speaker 2: her since this all started or spoken to her. When

531
00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:12,360
Speaker 2: I landed in London a few days ago. Guess who

532
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,000
Speaker 2: was waiting for me in arrivals Apart from my mom

533
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:15,800
Speaker 2: of course.

534
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:16,359
Speaker 4: It was Helen.

535
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:19,119
Speaker 2: She came from nowhere, kind of looked at me and

536
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:22,240
Speaker 2: started crying. I was kind of speechless, to be honest,

537
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:24,679
Speaker 2: Helen had seen the flight details I'd posted on the

538
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:27,520
Speaker 2: wall of a mutual friend and taken a four hour

539
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:29,800
Speaker 2: train down to London to ask me to take her back.

540
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:32,520
Speaker 2: Bear in mind, this entire time, my mom is hovering

541
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:35,679
Speaker 2: in the background. I told Helen nothing had changed, thanked

542
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:38,480
Speaker 2: her for coming. I was genuinely touched by whatever this

543
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:40,480
Speaker 2: display was, and gave her some money to get a

544
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:42,640
Speaker 2: cab home, partially because she was a wreck, and.

545
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:46,160
Speaker 4: Partly because I wanted to make myself feel superior. Spy

546
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:48,800
Speaker 4: Stoff right there, spy Stoff. That was a little spyish.

547
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:49,199
Speaker 4: I don't know.

548
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 2: At this point, it really struck me how much everything

549
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,359
Speaker 2: had changed. I definitely still have some feelings for Helen,

550
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:58,159
Speaker 2: but they're couched much more reflectively. I felt extreme pity

551
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 2: for her at that moment, and I don't think I've

552
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,359
Speaker 2: ever felt so sure that being on my own is

553
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:04,280
Speaker 2: what's best for me. And by the way, I know

554
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:06,119
Speaker 2: what's best for you, and it's if you would listen

555
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,360
Speaker 2: to full episodes with stories like this on your podcast

556
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,639
Speaker 2: platform of choice, Spotify, Apple.

557
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:12,760
Speaker 4: Podcasts, wherever you get them.

558
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,320
Speaker 2: Just search Okay Storytime and you can find the whole

559
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 2: catalog to browse through. So before we get into the

560
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:20,199
Speaker 2: last tail end of the story here, I just have

561
00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:23,200
Speaker 2: to say Dr bro one the break up, Like sure

562
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:25,680
Speaker 2: he won, and it's like she was all distraught and

563
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:29,199
Speaker 2: stuff and he like wasn't, although you know he was,

564
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:31,880
Speaker 2: Like I was genuinely touched. But like I think if

565
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,679
Speaker 2: before you left you just told her we're done forever,

566
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:35,480
Speaker 2: like I need you to.

567
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:36,720
Speaker 4: I need you to soak that in.

568
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,800
Speaker 2: We are never getting back together on some he swift

569
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,040
Speaker 2: type stuff. And by not saying that, I feel like

570
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,040
Speaker 2: you kind of set yourself up for this moment now.

571
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:46,560
Speaker 2: But it seems like you've navigated it properly. So let's

572
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:48,920
Speaker 2: let's just get to the end here. Thanks for all

573
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,680
Speaker 2: the support. Some of the advice I received on here

574
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,040
Speaker 2: has made a huge difference to how I've spent last

575
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 2: four months. For those of you just starting your journey,

576
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:59,679
Speaker 2: it gets better. Maintain no contact, look after yourself and

577
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,080
Speaker 2: go to the gym and make time to meet new people.

578
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:04,320
Speaker 2: I recommend taking yourself out all your own.

579
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:06,800
Speaker 4: It helps you figure out who you are and what

580
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:08,639
Speaker 4: you lost. Thanks all, and.

581
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:13,000
Speaker 3: Then you got to play the James Bond. You gotta

582
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 3: go done it.

583
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:21,000
Speaker 6: That my favorite story we've read this month.

584
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,040
Speaker 4: And then after that you maintain no content.

585
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:33,320
Speaker 2: Here you go after you go, We're done, forever, no more, never,

586
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 2: bye bye in Africa.

587
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,840
Speaker 4: Then you do the no contact. You just get that

588
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:38,840
Speaker 4: one moment where you are allowed.

589
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:41,040
Speaker 2: To go right now, you were holding on and then

590
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:43,040
Speaker 2: you could just go like that, and now you're done,

591
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:44,440
Speaker 2: You've officially let go.

592
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:46,479
Speaker 6: Did you figure it out? And I'm so proud of you.

593
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 5: My husband has a work wife. He doesn't realize that

594
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:52,840
Speaker 5: it's ruining our marriage.

595
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 4: Oh babe, I thought I could just have two wives.

596
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 9: I thought I have two.

597
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 5: Thirty one female. I'm at my wits end with my

598
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:05,080
Speaker 5: husband's thirty two mail co worker Sarah thirty email and

599
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 5: his complete inability to see what's happening. I'm not usually

600
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 5: one for Reddit, but I need to know if I'm

601
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:13,760
Speaker 5: going crazy here. By the way, this comes from Honeybeller Mama,

602
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,080
Speaker 5: And if you want to spit your own stories, go

603
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,800
Speaker 5: to our Slashowkay story Time Severed it Show. Where do

604
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:21,000
Speaker 5: I even start? Three years ago, my husband Mark started

605
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:23,400
Speaker 5: working with Sarah. At first, I tried to be welcoming.

606
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:26,560
Speaker 5: I invited her to barbecues, included her in group outings,

607
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:30,440
Speaker 5: and genuinely tried to be friendly. Big mistake. She spent

608
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:35,600
Speaker 5: the entire time making backhanded comments about everything from my career, Oh,

609
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:39,280
Speaker 5: you're just a yoga instructor, hap peaceful to my cooking.

610
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,840
Speaker 5: I guess not everyone can master basic seasoning. The real

611
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 5: problem that's that's a slap of this.

612
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 4: That's those dems fighting words right there.

613
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,440
Speaker 5: The real problem is that Mark thinks she's just being

614
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,520
Speaker 5: funny Mark Mark.

615
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 4: Mark likes his work. Wife, Mark likes his work.

616
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:59,480
Speaker 5: Oh another Mark like and his work wife typical?

617
00:24:59,600 --> 00:24:59,959
Speaker 4: Typical.

618
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:04,480
Speaker 5: Last month, she literally threw away the anniversary mug I

619
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:08,400
Speaker 5: gave him because it clashed with the office aesthetic. When

620
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:10,800
Speaker 5: I got upset, Mark said I was being too sensitive

621
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 5: and that Sarah just has high standards for office to core.

622
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:15,160
Speaker 4: I'm breaking up with Mark.

623
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,240
Speaker 2: I are at the very least, I'm like, you're sleeping

624
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:21,040
Speaker 2: on the couch until you understand how dumb that was.

625
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:23,440
Speaker 5: No, I'd be like, dude, don't freaking talk to me

626
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:25,200
Speaker 5: about office to cors I'm sorry.

627
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 4: What who cares about office to court? What?

628
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 2: Who would prioritize office to core over a gift from

629
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,159
Speaker 2: their actual partner?

630
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,399
Speaker 5: And to be clear, this is not I mean, it's

631
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 5: crazy regardless, but like, this is not her saying hey,

632
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:40,040
Speaker 5: can you take this this mug home?

633
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,280
Speaker 9: You know it's clashing with the office to court? Right,

634
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:43,400
Speaker 9: She's still still crazy.

635
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:46,359
Speaker 5: She threw it away. Yeah, it was a mug with

636
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,680
Speaker 5: our wedding photo on it. Some greatest hits from Sarah.

637
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:52,720
Speaker 5: She scheduled a mandatory work dinner on her anniversary. She

638
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,320
Speaker 5: convinced Mark not to take a promotion because it would

639
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 5: mean working with a different team. She posts daily photos

640
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:01,800
Speaker 5: of them together with hashtags like work power couple, and

641
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:02,879
Speaker 5: work spouse.

642
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 9: Your man's stupid. I'd break up with him for being stupid.

643
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:07,160
Speaker 4: Stop doing this, Mark.

644
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:10,120
Speaker 5: She tells everyone at their office that she takes better

645
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:12,520
Speaker 5: care of him than I do. She changed his coffee

646
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 5: order and now tells everyone she trained him right. The

647
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:18,399
Speaker 5: worst part, my husband is completely blind.

648
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:18,720
Speaker 4: To all of this.

649
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:22,879
Speaker 5: Think Mark, think how blind can you really be? You know,

650
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:24,680
Speaker 5: open at a.

651
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 9: Certain point, You're not blind, You're just you're wilfully.

652
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 2: He's probably actively having an affair with his work wife.

653
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:34,399
Speaker 5: Hey, yeah, yesterday he actually told me about how Sarah

654
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,959
Speaker 5: set our new house, which we spent months searching for

655
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,400
Speaker 5: it with charming in a starter home kind of way.

656
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 5: He repeated this while laughing. I tried talking to him

657
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,159
Speaker 5: about it, but Sarah is convinced him. I'm just insecure.

658
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:48,880
Speaker 5: She's managed to insert herself into every aspect of our lives.

659
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 5: They text constantly, even on weekends. She knows his schedule

660
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:56,120
Speaker 5: better than I do. She rearranged his entire desk and

661
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 5: office wardrobe because his style wass the bourbon husband. That's

662
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:03,120
Speaker 5: that's what he is. Last week, I was just marriage counseling.

663
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 5: He looked genuinely confused. He of course went and talked

664
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 5: to Sarah about it. I found out from another coworker

665
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 5: that she's been telling people that Mark and I are

666
00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:13,800
Speaker 5: going through a rough patch and that she's just being

667
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,720
Speaker 5: a good friend by giving him someone to talk to.

668
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:18,880
Speaker 5: We weren't going through anything until she started this nonsense.

669
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,639
Speaker 5: The breaking point, I stopped by his office to surprise

670
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:23,320
Speaker 5: him with lunch. I know, I know, but it was

671
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 5: his birthday and Sarah was supposedly out sick. Guess who

672
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:30,439
Speaker 5: was there, Sarah. She'd miraculously recovered and bought him a

673
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:32,399
Speaker 5: cake that said it's in my work hubby, with a

674
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,840
Speaker 5: photo of them from the office holiday party. She saw

675
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:38,680
Speaker 5: me and said, oh, Amy, you came too. How nice Mark.

676
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:40,480
Speaker 5: You didn't tell me your real wife was coming?

677
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:40,880
Speaker 4: Well?

678
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:44,679
Speaker 3: I oh, why divorce? Divorce, divorce, divorce. I've been here

679
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:45,440
Speaker 3: this entire time.

680
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:46,680
Speaker 4: I think this.

681
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:49,920
Speaker 2: Would activate like the sleeper cell. I mean, I would

682
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 2: just I'd become like Moonnight. I would just black out

683
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 2: and wake up.

684
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:55,840
Speaker 9: Yeah, and she'd be on the floor.

685
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:58,520
Speaker 5: I'm not crazy, right, This woman is trying to destroy

686
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:00,920
Speaker 5: my marriage while my husband stand there grinning like it's

687
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:01,680
Speaker 5: all some big joke.

688
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:02,560
Speaker 4: What do I do?

689
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 5: Divorce seems extreme, but I'm running out of options here.

690
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:07,920
Speaker 5: And Edit, I should have stated that the promotion wasn't

691
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 5: one that would increase his salary, but his title. It

692
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,280
Speaker 5: would give him more leadership experience. It still blows my

693
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 5: mind that he turned it down just so we could

694
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 5: stay on the same team. It's sorry at least the

695
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,639
Speaker 5: specialists and edit, I should have told the MYX story

696
00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:23,160
Speaker 5: in its entirety. She accidentally broke the mind.

697
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, sure, yeah, And she accidentally has done everything right.

698
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 4: It's all big accident.

699
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 5: I noticed it was gone when I was visiting him

700
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 5: one day and I asked him about it. He said

701
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 5: she accidentally knocked it over, and then later he repeated

702
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:37,600
Speaker 5: a joke she made about how it didn't fit the

703
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 5: office aesthetic. Yeah, okay, there are cons and there's an update.

704
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 5: But the aesthetic is that you are not his wife

705
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 5: in the office.

706
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:45,040
Speaker 4: Yeah.

707
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:47,600
Speaker 2: The aesthetic is that you are not married to your

708
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 2: wife and instead you're married to this.

709
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 5: Honestly, this really cringey. Pick me girl, so cringeym Oh

710
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:55,360
Speaker 5: my god. I think you have to have a conversation.

711
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:57,080
Speaker 5: I mean, you've already had conversation with your husband, but

712
00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:59,600
Speaker 5: you have to be like, hey, she is destroying our marriage. Yeah,

713
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:02,120
Speaker 5: you have to put up boundaries with her because or

714
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 5: we have to go through some a lot of marriage

715
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:05,600
Speaker 5: therapy because this isn't working.

716
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:08,240
Speaker 2: You need to be You're being honest, incredibly disrespect making

717
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 2: you feel like it's ultimatum time. It's like, if you

718
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 2: can't see this, honestly, that changes everything that I think

719
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,200
Speaker 2: about you. If you're so blind to this, I don't

720
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,120
Speaker 2: even know why I want to stay with you anyway.

721
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:22,160
Speaker 5: Top comments. Medieval Misfits says, Sarah would not be able

722
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:24,960
Speaker 5: to sabotage your marriage if your husband wasn't allowing it.

723
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 5: S bored Most nineteen thirty three. You have a husband problem.

724
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:32,080
Speaker 5: Go to counseling and get professional help to communicate your concerns.

725
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:34,880
Speaker 5: Remind him that he's married to you, not Sarah, so

726
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,840
Speaker 5: her opinions shouldn't matter when it comes to your marriage.

727
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 5: Good luck, but be prepared for the worst. Late Butterfly

728
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:43,920
Speaker 5: fifty nine ninety seven says, Yeah, this guy isn't oblivious.

729
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 5: He's complicit exactly. He knows what's happening, and he likes

730
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 5: the attention. He is happy to let his girlfriend disrespect

731
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:53,720
Speaker 5: his wife, and there is an update. I can't imagine

732
00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:55,400
Speaker 5: he's so oblivious that he just.

733
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 4: Can't like can the wife go to his hr?

734
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:01,680
Speaker 5: But there is an update. Yiye I thirty one female,

735
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:04,400
Speaker 5: posted a few days ago. I really didn't expect my

736
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:06,120
Speaker 5: post to blow up the way it did. I got

737
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:08,800
Speaker 5: so overwhelmed by all the comments that I haven't responded

738
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:11,640
Speaker 5: to any I want to address everyone who says it's fake.

739
00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:13,520
Speaker 5: I understand why you think that, but this is my

740
00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 5: personal hell. I only listened to Reddit stories on TikTok,

741
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,320
Speaker 5: but when this reached its boiling point, I just needed

742
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:21,120
Speaker 5: a place to talk, so I made an account and

743
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:22,400
Speaker 5: tried to yell into the void.

744
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:24,200
Speaker 9: Well the boyd turned out to be less empty than

745
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:24,480
Speaker 9: I thought.

746
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:27,640
Speaker 5: Now to why everyone is here the update. Before I

747
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 5: talked to my husband thirty two mail, I decided to

748
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:33,280
Speaker 5: do some investigation. I started with his phone and read

749
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:36,400
Speaker 5: all the messages between him and Sarah. She bad mouthed

750
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:38,720
Speaker 5: me a few times. He did nothing to defend me,

751
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:42,480
Speaker 5: but didn't engage either. She was flirty, he wasn't really

752
00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 5: flirty back. They talked a lot, and he praised her

753
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,840
Speaker 5: frequently for her work, ethic and intelligence. I didn't see

754
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,960
Speaker 5: anything about cheating. I checked his email, nothing. I checked

755
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:54,440
Speaker 5: his work email, nothing. I looked through our other devices nothing.

756
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:56,880
Speaker 5: I searched high and low for a second phone.

757
00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:57,240
Speaker 4: Nothing.

758
00:30:57,360 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 5: Everything I found was always dancing that line. Nothing was

759
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:03,200
Speaker 5: outright cheating. But here are the things I found that

760
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:05,720
Speaker 5: did hurt my feelings. One, he has lunch with her

761
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:07,760
Speaker 5: and only her every day.

762
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:08,200
Speaker 8: In the office.

763
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 5: I don't really like anyone else, so they'll criticize others

764
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:12,760
Speaker 5: and say let's talk. Were at lunch, they're serving x

765
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:14,840
Speaker 5: y z. Each day he'd say things like, I'm sure

766
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 5: if you were a wife, you would x y z.

767
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 5: He always kept it as a wife and not my wife.

768
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:20,959
Speaker 9: But it's still upset.

769
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:24,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, she admitted to breaking the mug on purpose.

770
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 2: Oh girl, if you don't get away from him, I am.

771
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 4: Throwing you in a volcano.

772
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:34,240
Speaker 5: He didn't get upset with her, just said, yeah, the

773
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 5: photo gifts are kind of corny.

774
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:40,280
Speaker 4: Excuse me, excuse me. You're gonna call the a thoughtful

775
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:41,320
Speaker 4: mug corny.

776
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:42,080
Speaker 6: You're gonna call the.

777
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 9: Mug of your wedding your wedding photo mug? Cornie?

778
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:46,600
Speaker 4: What is it?

779
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:51,160
Speaker 2: What is this vibe? It's like it feels like weaponized incompetence.

780
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:52,960
Speaker 5: But it's not even I feel like it's not even

781
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:55,680
Speaker 5: the competence. I feel like it's it's like he knows

782
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:56,640
Speaker 5: what he's doing right.

783
00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 2: But no, the way he's trying to play it is like,

784
00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:02,000
Speaker 2: oh yeah, he's like, I'm saying a wife instead of

785
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 2: my wife.

786
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 4: It's like we're just like joking around. It's like my

787
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 4: work wife.

788
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 5: Like I confronted him, I laid it all out and

789
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:11,800
Speaker 5: while he wasn't upset. He did try to brush things off.

790
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:15,800
Speaker 5: He said it was being sensitive and overreacting. I told him,

791
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:17,960
Speaker 5: if we didn't have a real conversation about this, I

792
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:20,920
Speaker 5: would file for divorce. Good that got his attention, and

793
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 5: he sat down with me. He admitted that at first

794
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,840
Speaker 5: he found it odd that Sarah was trying so hard.

795
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 5: He saw her trying hard with all the men in

796
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 5: the office. The more attention she gave him, the more

797
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 5: he enjoyed it, and the more he responded. The more

798
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 5: attention she gave until she just had her sights on him.

799
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 5: He knew some of the other men were envious, and

800
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,800
Speaker 5: he liked that too. He admitted that eventually he just

801
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:42,600
Speaker 5: got too deep. He said he knew it was wrong,

802
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:45,160
Speaker 5: but he had gotten to the attention and didn't want

803
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 5: her to move on to another man, so he indulged

804
00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:50,400
Speaker 5: her sometimes at my expense. He said it was just

805
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 5: nice to have two women in the two major parts

806
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 5: of his life, stating that he knew we'd rarely see

807
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:55,600
Speaker 5: one another.

808
00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:58,600
Speaker 9: So what was the harm I'm about to harm you?

809
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:02,640
Speaker 2: You know exactly what the literally just fully laid out

810
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:05,640
Speaker 2: exactly what the harm is now, which is that You're

811
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:08,840
Speaker 2: like a little boy who's like getting attention from a

812
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 2: girl for the first time, Like he's like fourteen. He

813
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 2: hit this guy, like, what is wrong with your fully

814
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:18,440
Speaker 2: grown man with a wife. Get the attention you're wanting

815
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:20,320
Speaker 2: from your freaking wife, dummy.

816
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:24,880
Speaker 5: He reiterated that he'd never ever physically cheated with her,

817
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:28,000
Speaker 5: but admitted it could be called an emotional affair. It

818
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:31,680
Speaker 5: was painful. I won't hide that. I mean really painful.

819
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:33,800
Speaker 5: Like I wasn't enough. I told him from this point

820
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:36,720
Speaker 5: on he needed to stop communicating with Sarah and asked

821
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:40,200
Speaker 5: to be transferred or switch jobs all together. Now, folks,

822
00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:42,600
Speaker 5: I mean it when I tell you this. He lost

823
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:45,320
Speaker 5: his He began raising his voice, saying things like he

824
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,880
Speaker 5: never cheated, it was all above board, and I couldn't

825
00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 5: control you talked to at work, But.

826
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:51,000
Speaker 9: You can't control who you divorce.

827
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:51,560
Speaker 4: Divorce.

828
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:55,000
Speaker 5: You called me a self absorbed person and a control freak.

829
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 5: You told me I had no idea how hard it was,

830
00:33:57,520 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 5: how much stress he had in the office, and that

831
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 5: is in relationship with Sarah helps a lot. Taking it

832
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:04,600
Speaker 5: away would just damage his mental health. It got so

833
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:07,440
Speaker 5: bad that I started crying. I couldn't take it anymore

834
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:10,880
Speaker 5: and decided to leave good. I packed a small bag

835
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:13,000
Speaker 5: and called my mother in law. She's the only family

836
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,000
Speaker 5: I have here. I gave her a rundown of what

837
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,400
Speaker 5: was going on. She just offered her home to me.

838
00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:20,120
Speaker 5: I'm staying here and just hoping my husband calms down

839
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:22,480
Speaker 5: so we can revisit this girl.

840
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:26,560
Speaker 3: Divorce, divorce, divorce, divorced, divorce.

841
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:29,960
Speaker 2: Or at least the very least separation. It needs to

842
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:31,719
Speaker 2: be like, you guys, got to work this out.

843
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:33,440
Speaker 7: It's like you know, on the you know what, like

844
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:37,400
Speaker 7: stadiums and like games of you defense. Yeah, going de worst.

845
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:39,600
Speaker 4: Well, I think if you really wanted to like find

846
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:40,319
Speaker 4: out like is.

847
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:43,200
Speaker 2: This salvageable, it's like if you just separate and then

848
00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:45,440
Speaker 2: he immediately starts hooking up with this.

849
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:47,280
Speaker 4: Trawl up at the office.

850
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:50,920
Speaker 5: I think the fact that he went op expressed concerns.

851
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:52,680
Speaker 5: He was like, no, you can't do that. He just

852
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:53,480
Speaker 5: starts screaming in her.

853
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:56,280
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, of course, because he's he's hyper. He's clearly

854
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 2: hyper defensive.

855
00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 5: I want to work it out. I love him more

856
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:00,520
Speaker 5: than anything. You can't work the zone.

857
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:01,719
Speaker 9: I don't think you Canmrna.

858
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,320
Speaker 5: I will try harder to answer comments on this post.

859
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 5: I will definitely update if something new happens and there

860
00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:10,120
Speaker 5: are some comments different. Ads says, well, but I kind

861
00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:12,520
Speaker 5: of figured he wasn't that glueless. This is a full

862
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:16,160
Speaker 5: blown emotional affair. From experience, things will only escalate till

863
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:18,560
Speaker 5: they are in bed together. Protect your piece because he

864
00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:21,080
Speaker 5: sure doesn't give a dang about your feelings. Stay strong,

865
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:23,920
Speaker 5: Choger sucks says, jump right from admitted it could be

866
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,719
Speaker 5: called an emotional affair to he began raising his voice

867
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,440
Speaker 5: saying things like you never cheated. Oh, he made a

868
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:32,120
Speaker 5: valiant effort, but it doesn't seem like this marriage can

869
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:34,560
Speaker 5: be saved. And Op says, my mother in law is

870
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:36,600
Speaker 5: on my side and told me point blank that he

871
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:39,760
Speaker 5: is wrong. Yes, good mother in law he is. However,

872
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:41,319
Speaker 5: she said she doesn't want to get in the middle

873
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:43,799
Speaker 5: because she doesn't want to damage the relationship with either

874
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:45,879
Speaker 5: one of us. She told me I'm welcome as long

875
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 5: as I need, but she won't bring up anything to

876
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 5: your son until he brings it up to her.

877
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:51,759
Speaker 9: And I want to bring up that.

878
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,120
Speaker 5: You guys can listen to full episodes of stories just

879
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,560
Speaker 5: like this, just go to Apple Podcasts. Spotify or your

880
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:58,560
Speaker 5: favorite podcast Happen Search Up with Gas story Time.

881
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:00,920
Speaker 9: Yeah, that was so smooth.

882
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:02,000
Speaker 4: That was the smoothest.

883
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:04,719
Speaker 5: My mother in law agrees his actions are wrong, but

884
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:07,120
Speaker 5: doesn't want things to escalate or to damage her relationship

885
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:08,839
Speaker 5: with either one of us, so she is staying out

886
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:11,440
Speaker 5: of it unless he contacts her. As for my husband,

887
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:15,719
Speaker 5: he has tried to reach out. He's called, left messages, texted.

888
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:17,759
Speaker 5: I let him know I was safe and left it

889
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:20,080
Speaker 5: at that. You will message or call every few hours,

890
00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:22,840
Speaker 5: but we haven't talked, and that is the end of

891
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:25,240
Speaker 5: the start. I think it's divorce. I think it's divorce.

892
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:27,840
Speaker 5: I don't think this can be saved or salvaged.

893
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 2: I think it's like, at the very least, it would

894
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:32,960
Speaker 2: require like very intense therapy to figure out why he

895
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 2: was like absolutely so in need of the emotional validation

896
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:40,200
Speaker 2: at work from this girl. Truly, we did say, is

897
00:36:40,239 --> 00:36:42,320
Speaker 2: like talking to all of the men in the office

898
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 2: like this.

899
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, but then he's just like we needed to be

900
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:47,560
Speaker 4: able to get to my day, and it's like shu,

901
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:50,480
Speaker 4: like everyone has our job. Get around. Shut up, dude,

902
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:51,359
Speaker 4: you're probably just.

903
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:54,399
Speaker 5: Like sending freaking emails, probably have a fake email job.

904
00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 2: You're you're just you're you're gross for having a work

905
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:00,479
Speaker 2: like a work wife is supposed to be like the joke.

906
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:04,240
Speaker 2: Like then it became like real, she's breaking your anniversary gifts.

907
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:06,640
Speaker 4: Stop it, stop it, get it smoother.

908
00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:09,080
Speaker 9: But that is the end of that story.

909
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:12,440
Speaker 4: Hey John Ogi host here, We're gonna get back to

910
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:14,680
Speaker 4: this episode. But a quick three minute break of ads

911
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:16,200
Speaker 4: from a sponsor's keeping the show alive.

912
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:19,080
Speaker 1: I got accused of cheating with a random girl. It

913
00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:20,799
Speaker 1: almost destroyed my relationship.

914
00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:21,839
Speaker 4: Yeah, that'll do it.

915
00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:23,960
Speaker 1: Me and my girlfriend have been dating for four years

916
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:26,920
Speaker 1: and it honestly couldn't have been going better up until

917
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:29,279
Speaker 1: the events of this weekend. We love being with each other,

918
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,680
Speaker 1: and I was saving up for an engagement ring so

919
00:37:31,719 --> 00:37:33,880
Speaker 1: that I could propose in the next year or so.

920
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:36,160
Speaker 1: I would never cheat on her, and even the thought

921
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:38,680
Speaker 1: of it makes me sick. By the way, this comes

922
00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:41,520
Speaker 1: from Facebook lies. If you want to submit your own stories,

923
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:43,480
Speaker 1: going to ours lash. Okay, story time, So about it.

924
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:46,520
Speaker 1: So this weekend, she received a Facebook message from a

925
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:48,800
Speaker 1: girl that we had both gone to school with. Neither

926
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,239
Speaker 1: me nor my girlfriend were close friends with her in

927
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:54,000
Speaker 1: high school or even really friends at all. I think

928
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,040
Speaker 1: we added her when we first got Facebook, and you know,

929
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:57,719
Speaker 1: you just add everyone back in those days. Yeah, I

930
00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:01,040
Speaker 1: have like a billion Facebook friends from high school and

931
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:05,399
Speaker 1: college that I no longer know it all. Anyway, this

932
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:08,560
Speaker 1: is the general idea of her message.

933
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:10,120
Speaker 8: Hi, my girlfriend.

934
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:11,960
Speaker 1: I know we haven't talked in a long time, but

935
00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:14,640
Speaker 1: I had to get something off of my chest. You

936
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:17,719
Speaker 1: were in New York City last year. Me and my

937
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:22,480
Speaker 1: name got together and had spicy sleep. We had been

938
00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:25,319
Speaker 1: messaging for a long time before and didn't plan on

939
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:27,920
Speaker 1: getting physical, but then it happened. After that weekend, I

940
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:29,920
Speaker 1: cut it off and didn't see my name again. The

941
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:31,840
Speaker 1: guilt is getting to be too much, and I just

942
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:34,080
Speaker 1: can't live my life seeing you and him happy together

943
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:36,879
Speaker 1: as if nothing happened. I'm sorry. I know you can't

944
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:39,360
Speaker 1: forgive me, but I needed to tell you. Of course,

945
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:42,279
Speaker 1: my girlfriend confronted me about it.

946
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:44,279
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I was blindsided.

947
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:47,440
Speaker 1: Evn't talked to or thought about this girl in years,

948
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:49,880
Speaker 1: and she was only my Facebook friend because I'd forgotten

949
00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 1: that she was still there. I completely denied it, and

950
00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:55,960
Speaker 1: I was shaking and freaking out. My girlfriend was indeed

951
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,680
Speaker 1: in New York City, last year, which you can easily

952
00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:00,000
Speaker 1: find out by looking at her Facebook albums. There's one

953
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:03,400
Speaker 1: called New York City fourteen. And of course that weekend

954
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:06,880
Speaker 1: I just sat at home and watched Netflix by myself.

955
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:08,959
Speaker 1: So I don't have any way to prove this girl wrong.

956
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:11,080
Speaker 1: I explained to my girlfriend that I have no idea

957
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:13,360
Speaker 1: what this girl's talking about, and that I would never

958
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 1: do that to her. I showed her my phone, I

959
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:18,120
Speaker 1: showed her my message logs, everything that I could think of.

960
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:20,880
Speaker 1: Obviously nothing was there. Calms down a little bit, but

961
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:23,560
Speaker 1: I can tell she's still completely upset, and I don't

962
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 1: blame her. She says that she wants to believe me,

963
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:29,000
Speaker 1: but that it's really hard right now that she needs

964
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 1: some time to think. Guys, I'm really scared. I don't

965
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 1: want to lose the love of my life over something

966
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 1: like this. Why would someone do this? Is there some

967
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:41,680
Speaker 1: way that I could reassure my girlfriend that I didn't cheat.

968
00:39:41,719 --> 00:39:43,719
Speaker 1: I don't want to contact this crazy girl at all,

969
00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:45,920
Speaker 1: but I don't know if that could help somehow.

970
00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:48,319
Speaker 8: I need some advice. Do you have an edit?

971
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:48,560
Speaker 2: We?

972
00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:50,880
Speaker 4: Do you have an updates but updata?

973
00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:54,439
Speaker 8: Ruski Dakota, what would you do in this situation, Dakota.

974
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:56,760
Speaker 2: My vibes would be immaculate. I'd be like, I don't

975
00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:57,520
Speaker 2: know what this is.

976
00:39:57,760 --> 00:40:00,840
Speaker 1: I mean, I think him showing all the Texans was like,

977
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:02,880
Speaker 1: you know, a way maybe to build a little trust.

978
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:06,480
Speaker 1: I would say with the contacting the person, I would like,

979
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:08,719
Speaker 1: tell your girlfriend's like, hey, I don't know who this is.

980
00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 1: Can we contact her from my account? See what's going on?

981
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:13,879
Speaker 4: I'd be like, let me talk to her. Yeah, who

982
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:16,240
Speaker 4: is this? She says, I was what who?

983
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:20,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, let me talk to her. Shiloh Ocean says Ope

984
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:20,880
Speaker 1: is lying.

985
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:21,840
Speaker 4: Ohp is.

986
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 1: Harrel William says OPI made a post to hide his act.

987
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:28,200
Speaker 3: Would you say this is a conspiracy experience?

988
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:30,400
Speaker 4: No, sometimes people are just nuts.

989
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,399
Speaker 8: I think it could be potential nuts. I don't think

990
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:32,840
Speaker 8: OP did it.

991
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 5: Edit.

992
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:35,239
Speaker 1: Thanks everyone who's so far responded. I'm at work at

993
00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:36,920
Speaker 1: the moment, so I can't really apply to everyone, but

994
00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:39,040
Speaker 1: I have been trying to read through them when I can.

995
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:42,000
Speaker 1: I didn't even think about my Netflix history, so thanks

996
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:44,239
Speaker 1: to everyone that suggested it. I'm going to look when

997
00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:46,440
Speaker 1: I get home. The girl didn't say in her message

998
00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:48,080
Speaker 1: if I was at her place or if she came

999
00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:50,120
Speaker 1: up of mind, so I'm hoping I didn't watch something

1000
00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:52,400
Speaker 1: like Unfaithful that could look like I was watching it

1001
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 1: with someone else. I'll try to update with my results

1002
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:57,319
Speaker 1: later at A two. I'm at my lunch break now.

1003
00:40:57,320 --> 00:40:59,760
Speaker 1: To the people that are suggested getting phone records, thanks

1004
00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:01,720
Speaker 1: for the other idea. I've never had to do that before,

1005
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:03,640
Speaker 1: so I'll try to find out what I need to do.

1006
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:05,920
Speaker 1: And to the people saying that this post is to

1007
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 1: cover my own but for cheating, I can assure you

1008
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:12,359
Speaker 1: that's not the case. My girlfriend is not and if

1009
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:14,719
Speaker 1: I showed her this and said, hey see, I asked

1010
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:18,880
Speaker 1: for help, she probably be extra suspicious rather than play caked.

1011
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:20,759
Speaker 1: I won't be showing her this. I just wanted some

1012
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:22,960
Speaker 1: advice on how to show that I'm being honest, and

1013
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:24,719
Speaker 1: I've gotten some good help so far. I'll try to

1014
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,439
Speaker 1: keep you guys updated. We got some comments, We got

1015
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:30,080
Speaker 1: an update. A little fire Girl says conspiracy theory, somebody

1016
00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:32,279
Speaker 1: actually knows used the account of catfish him and then

1017
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:35,000
Speaker 1: mess with his life because they are in love with him.

1018
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:36,320
Speaker 1: I think that's the most.

1019
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:38,719
Speaker 2: Exactly awes someone's trying to break up their relationships so

1020
00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:40,200
Speaker 2: that they can have their chance.

1021
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:43,120
Speaker 1: But comments your girl could ask for more proof. Perhaps

1022
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:45,680
Speaker 1: she's confused you for someone else. I don't know how

1023
00:41:45,719 --> 00:41:48,000
Speaker 1: messed up she is. You could also ask your girlfriend

1024
00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:50,839
Speaker 1: if you could ask her why she should say such

1025
00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:53,600
Speaker 1: a thing. Make sure that whatever you do to discuss

1026
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:56,680
Speaker 1: with her and do it with permission and perhaps with

1027
00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:59,799
Speaker 1: your girlfriend next to you. Don't do anything alone because

1028
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:01,680
Speaker 1: that looks shady as f Did you hang out with

1029
00:42:01,719 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 1: anyone at that time? Is there a Netflix history log

1030
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:07,560
Speaker 1: and he receives slash online purchases, slash things that could

1031
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:10,799
Speaker 1: track your whereabouts, bank statements, how she said where this

1032
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:13,839
Speaker 1: spicy sleep allegedly happened. If she says your house, ask

1033
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:16,480
Speaker 1: her to describe the room, et cetera. Also any mutual

1034
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:18,920
Speaker 1: friends that might have a grudge against your girlfriend or

1035
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:21,960
Speaker 1: a crush on you. Edit Additionally, ask for the date

1036
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:25,120
Speaker 1: i e. The Friday and time this allegedly happened in

1037
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:27,719
Speaker 1: case you have any other log slash emails from that time.

1038
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:29,919
Speaker 1: If you don't, ask her if you sent any text

1039
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,239
Speaker 1: during that time she claims you were together. Basically, it's

1040
00:42:32,239 --> 00:42:34,400
Speaker 1: a fifty to fifty gamble, but if she guesses wrong,

1041
00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:38,520
Speaker 1: it disproves a lot more than if she guesses correctly. Also,

1042
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:41,840
Speaker 1: what's her Facebook status activity of that time? Maybe you

1043
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:44,839
Speaker 1: can find further clues there. You gotta basically nail this

1044
00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:47,799
Speaker 1: person down to the lie. Can't be an amorphous lie.

1045
00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 1: Like he's cheating you. It's like he cheated on me

1046
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:54,480
Speaker 1: in his room on the night of Friday the seventeenth,

1047
00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:59,080
Speaker 1: and his room was black with little worms on his pillows.

1048
00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:01,920
Speaker 4: Why is vibe so suspicious?

1049
00:43:02,239 --> 00:43:04,560
Speaker 2: Get phone records and get Netflix histories and get this

1050
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:05,080
Speaker 2: against just.

1051
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:08,120
Speaker 4: Like because his relationship is question.

1052
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:10,719
Speaker 2: I know that my reaction would be like so incredulous

1053
00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:11,960
Speaker 2: and so like, I'm innocent.

1054
00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:12,520
Speaker 4: Whatever.

1055
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:14,920
Speaker 2: You can DNA sweep the whole house. You could do

1056
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:18,160
Speaker 2: whatever you want. I or the FBI, I did do

1057
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:20,320
Speaker 2: anything with this person, so I don't.

1058
00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:24,200
Speaker 1: Yeah care reply. Netflix has viewing history, show your girlfriend

1059
00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:26,320
Speaker 1: those logs. Everything since you created your account will be

1060
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:28,640
Speaker 1: on there. And we have the update. So let's get

1061
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:28,920
Speaker 1: into it.

1062
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 4: Update he was cheating.

1063
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:34,720
Speaker 1: I got home before my girlfriend today, so I started

1064
00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:36,759
Speaker 1: looking into what I was doing while she was in

1065
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 1: New York last year. I pulled up Netflix and saw

1066
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 1: that I had been binging on Dexter that weekend and

1067
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:45,160
Speaker 1: was watching it almost non stop. As others have mentioned,

1068
00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:47,600
Speaker 1: that doesn't really prove anything, but I figured it wouldn't

1069
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:50,680
Speaker 1: hurt my case. As I was doing this, my girlfriend

1070
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:52,319
Speaker 1: arrived home and sat with me in the living room.

1071
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 1: I could tell that she was still in a weird place,

1072
00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:56,280
Speaker 1: but she seemed a little better. I mentioned the Dexter

1073
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:59,919
Speaker 1: Marathon and she said that sounds like something I would

1074
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:02,440
Speaker 1: do if left alone. I asked her to open up

1075
00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:04,880
Speaker 1: Facebook and bring up the message one more time so

1076
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:06,879
Speaker 1: that I could process everything at once and we could

1077
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:08,759
Speaker 1: get to the bottom of us. When she logged in,

1078
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:11,640
Speaker 1: she had a new message. The message was from the

1079
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:15,880
Speaker 1: older sister of the girl that had messaged my girlfriend.

1080
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:16,440
Speaker 4: Mmmm.

1081
00:44:17,719 --> 00:44:19,960
Speaker 1: This was strange as her and my girlfriend aren't friends.

1082
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,480
Speaker 1: I vaguely know her, but only realized it was the

1083
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:24,880
Speaker 1: girl's sister before she opened the message because of the

1084
00:44:24,920 --> 00:44:27,800
Speaker 1: last name it's pretty uncommon. In the message, the sister

1085
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:30,799
Speaker 1: explained that she didn't know my girlfriend and understood that

1086
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:32,840
Speaker 1: it was odd to get a message from her, but

1087
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 1: she needed to clear things up. She and girl live

1088
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,319
Speaker 1: together now, and Girl had been going through a bit

1089
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:41,880
Speaker 1: of a rough patch lately. The girl had been attempting

1090
00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:44,000
Speaker 1: to deal with some personal issues on her own, and

1091
00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:46,759
Speaker 1: it seemed that things got out of hand. She didn't

1092
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:50,440
Speaker 1: explain exactly how, but said that through conversations with girl,

1093
00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:53,400
Speaker 1: she had discovered the Facebook messages to my girlfriend. She

1094
00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:55,879
Speaker 1: looked through older messages as well and found that girl

1095
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:59,600
Speaker 1: had sent similar messages to five other people in the

1096
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 1: last week, and it all followed the same pattern. She

1097
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:05,920
Speaker 1: would say when you were at X or when you

1098
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:08,400
Speaker 1: were out of town during X time period that she

1099
00:45:08,520 --> 00:45:11,440
Speaker 1: had spicy sleep with the girl's boyfriend.

1100
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:12,399
Speaker 4: Oh my god.

1101
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:15,280
Speaker 1: The sister explained that she has now attempted to contact

1102
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:17,520
Speaker 1: all of these people to apologize for all the problems

1103
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:19,880
Speaker 1: that her sister has caused. She assured my girlfriend that

1104
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:21,760
Speaker 1: her sister and I were never together and that girl

1105
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:25,200
Speaker 1: seemed to be getting some type of perverse, catfish type

1106
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:28,400
Speaker 1: of enjoyment from this. She finished the message by telling

1107
00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:30,680
Speaker 1: my girlfriend that she could contact her at any time

1108
00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:33,160
Speaker 1: if just to vent to her about her sister, but

1109
00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:35,400
Speaker 1: that she would not allow her sister to be contacted

1110
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:37,319
Speaker 1: directly at this time. Her Facebook was going to be

1111
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:40,320
Speaker 1: deleted and she would be seeking professional help. Honestly, great

1112
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:41,160
Speaker 1: sister here we go.

1113
00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:43,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, do you need professional help if you're trying to

1114
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:47,920
Speaker 2: sabotage other people's relationships because you're oh yeah, stuff.

1115
00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:49,880
Speaker 4: That's like villainous behavior.

1116
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:52,240
Speaker 8: Yeah, you are being a villain.

1117
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:54,960
Speaker 1: Shiloh osin watch them have made that account to covers

1118
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,400
Speaker 1: But no, no, no, you didn't make It's not a new account.

1119
00:45:57,800 --> 00:46:00,400
Speaker 1: It's not a new account. It is from the diriginal,

1120
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:02,240
Speaker 1: it's from the original account.

1121
00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:04,839
Speaker 3: If they're like no op is yeah, like.

1122
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:07,600
Speaker 1: Opie is cheating and covering his butt, her Facebook was

1123
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:09,120
Speaker 1: going to be leaded and she would be seeking at

1124
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:13,680
Speaker 1: professional help. Immediately after reading this, my girlfriend broke down crying.

1125
00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:15,600
Speaker 1: It seemed like a lot of the stress and anger

1126
00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:18,080
Speaker 1: of the last few days was being released all at once.

1127
00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:18,840
Speaker 8: Oh she was.

1128
00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:21,399
Speaker 1: I held her and teared up a bit as well,

1129
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:23,520
Speaker 1: thinking about I was scared of losing her. When she

1130
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:26,000
Speaker 1: had gained a bit of composure, she started to apologize

1131
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,720
Speaker 1: to me for not immediately believing that I was innocent,

1132
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:31,560
Speaker 1: but I told her that she didn't have any reason

1133
00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:34,239
Speaker 1: to be sorry. I told her that kind of out

1134
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:37,239
Speaker 1: of the blue message would shake anyone, and that I

1135
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:40,160
Speaker 1: couldn't imagine being on her side of this. By the way,

1136
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:42,080
Speaker 1: you can listen to full episodes of stories just like this.

1137
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:44,480
Speaker 1: We go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast

1138
00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:48,080
Speaker 1: app in search. Okay, story time, there's another relevant update, which.

1139
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:49,800
Speaker 4: I'll go straight into.

1140
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:52,879
Speaker 1: We just sat there for a while and enjoyed being

1141
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:54,880
Speaker 1: there with each other. She's taking an app now as

1142
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:56,879
Speaker 1: she hasn't had a lot of sleep in the last

1143
00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:59,200
Speaker 1: few days, and I'm just sitting here in a kind

1144
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:01,759
Speaker 1: of haze. I'm so happy that her sister reached out

1145
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 1: to us, but I just kept thinking about how scary

1146
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:05,880
Speaker 1: it is and we could so easily be manipulated. I

1147
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:09,200
Speaker 1: genuinely hope that girl gets the help that she needs,

1148
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:11,400
Speaker 1: because I can't imagine the mindset that you would need

1149
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:14,040
Speaker 1: to be to do something like this. Thanks to everyone

1150
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:17,280
Speaker 1: that gave advice, I really do appreciate every single suggestion.

1151
00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:23,640
Speaker 1: My grandmother insulted my girlfriend in another language. She didn't

1152
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:25,719
Speaker 1: know my girlfriend and could understand her.

1153
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:28,840
Speaker 8: Oh you embarrass me.

1154
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:32,040
Speaker 1: I've been dating this girl, we'll call her Olivia, for

1155
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:34,840
Speaker 1: four months. She is of Jamaican descent but born in

1156
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:36,880
Speaker 1: the US. I was born in Cuba, but came to

1157
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:38,239
Speaker 1: the States when I was one By the way, this

1158
00:47:38,280 --> 00:47:40,239
Speaker 1: comes from better Yak too, and if you want us

1159
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:42,840
Speaker 1: make your own stories, go to our slash Okay storytime

1160
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:47,480
Speaker 1: on our subreddit. So I would say very very American eyed.

1161
00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:49,920
Speaker 1: Though I grew up speaking Spanish at home, the area

1162
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 1: where we currently live doesn't have many Latino people, so

1163
00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:55,600
Speaker 1: it's not assumed that people understand Spanish. When I started

1164
00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:57,480
Speaker 1: dating her, I asked her if she could speak Spanish

1165
00:47:57,480 --> 00:47:59,640
Speaker 1: and she said not really and that her Spanish, and

1166
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:02,480
Speaker 1: we didn't really address it further. I was really eager

1167
00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:04,560
Speaker 1: to introduce her to my family, as I thought my

1168
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:06,520
Speaker 1: mom and dad would love her, and they had been

1169
00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:08,960
Speaker 1: asking about her for a while, so it invited them

1170
00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:11,320
Speaker 1: to our house for dinner with my mom, my dad,

1171
00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:15,000
Speaker 1: my grandmother, and my teenage brother. My abuela can't speak

1172
00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:17,920
Speaker 1: English much at all, but everyone else can. My abuela

1173
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:21,359
Speaker 1: can be very judgmental and cranky and basically an a hole,

1174
00:48:21,480 --> 00:48:24,280
Speaker 1: giant little a hole at times, especially since her husband

1175
00:48:24,280 --> 00:48:26,560
Speaker 1: passed away and then she had a stroke three years ago.

1176
00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:29,399
Speaker 8: Rough I told her before to be nice.

1177
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:32,880
Speaker 1: However, I also told them she couldn't speak Spanish because

1178
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:35,760
Speaker 1: that's what I assumed. So Olivia came over and everything

1179
00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 1: was going good for the most part.

1180
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:38,040
Speaker 8: She got along well with.

1181
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 1: My family, and my mom especially was nicer. However, my

1182
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:45,960
Speaker 1: grandmother decided she was in a nasty mood and started

1183
00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:49,200
Speaker 1: talking crap about her. She said that she didn't expect

1184
00:48:49,200 --> 00:48:52,640
Speaker 1: Olivia to be so dark in how she looked more African.

1185
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:54,360
Speaker 1: She asked her she came from a good family and

1186
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:57,040
Speaker 1: said if my grandfather was alive, he would not approve

1187
00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:58,759
Speaker 1: of her, and it's better to date a girl who

1188
00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:02,960
Speaker 1: can speak Spanish. Most black people won't even bother to

1189
00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:06,040
Speaker 1: learn it. She even said that my last girlfriend was

1190
00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 1: much prettier than her. This is honestly, blatantly untrue. Olivia's gorgeous,

1191
00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:11,400
Speaker 1: and most people say so. She made sure not to

1192
00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:13,520
Speaker 1: make it obvious she was talking about her and didn't

1193
00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:15,880
Speaker 1: gesture to her at all and mostly faced the TV

1194
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:19,560
Speaker 1: when she spoke. I was mortified and couldn't believe she

1195
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:21,200
Speaker 1: was saying this. I told her to stop twice, but

1196
00:49:21,239 --> 00:49:23,960
Speaker 1: since I assumed Olivia didn't understand, I mostly brushed it

1197
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:26,200
Speaker 1: off and tried to ignore her, since I didn't want

1198
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:27,839
Speaker 1: to make a scene and I didn't want to make

1199
00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:30,160
Speaker 1: it apparent to Olivia that she was talking about her.

1200
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:32,759
Speaker 1: Olivia is the biggest sweetheart, but is really insecure and

1201
00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:35,000
Speaker 1: has suffered from anxiety in the past, and I just

1202
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:36,920
Speaker 1: didn't want to make it worse. My mom told her

1203
00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:39,120
Speaker 1: to be quiet as well, but my grandmother just didn't

1204
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:43,200
Speaker 1: give an f and continues with snide comments to make

1205
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:45,640
Speaker 1: things worse. My dad and brother just laughed at the

1206
00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:48,160
Speaker 1: absurdity of the situation. Oh not a good look.

1207
00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:50,200
Speaker 4: Not a good look, dude, I want to snap back.

1208
00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:51,600
Speaker 4: I'll be snapping back.

1209
00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:53,640
Speaker 1: I don't think they really found it funny, but it

1210
00:49:53,680 --> 00:49:56,640
Speaker 1: was more of there she goes again crazy, a Buila

1211
00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:59,560
Speaker 1: type thing. Olivia acted pleasant for most of the night

1212
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,680
Speaker 1: and suddenly claimed she had migraines and she needed to leave.

1213
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:04,560
Speaker 1: She thanked them all but left in a hurry. I

1214
00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:08,280
Speaker 1: already suspected she could understand some of what was said,

1215
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:11,200
Speaker 1: and I felt terrible after she left. I told my

1216
00:50:11,239 --> 00:50:14,719
Speaker 1: grandmother off for how she acted. I tried calling Olivia

1217
00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:17,360
Speaker 1: that night, but she ignored my calls until the next evening,

1218
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:19,680
Speaker 1: when she finally answered, do you think she's gonna be mad?

1219
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:20,160
Speaker 8: At Opie?

1220
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:24,160
Speaker 2: They would imagine she is, However, you just immediately explain

1221
00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:25,800
Speaker 2: your situation where it's like, oh my god, if I

1222
00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:28,080
Speaker 2: knew you spoke Spanish, I would have like immediately been

1223
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:29,040
Speaker 2: like way more upset.

1224
00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:32,040
Speaker 1: I asked if she was okay, and she admitted that

1225
00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:34,200
Speaker 1: she took Spanish for five years and although she has

1226
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:36,760
Speaker 1: no confidence to speak it or Spanish comprehension.

1227
00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:37,000
Speaker 8: Is fairly good.

1228
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:39,359
Speaker 1: I apologize profusely, but she was angry. She was mad

1229
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:42,200
Speaker 1: since I didn't tell her I had a discriminatory family.

1230
00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:44,560
Speaker 1: She was mad that my dad and brother laughed at

1231
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:46,880
Speaker 1: her expense, and was furious that I didn't defend her

1232
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:49,320
Speaker 1: or end up to my grandmother. I tried to explain

1233
00:50:49,360 --> 00:50:51,640
Speaker 1: the whole not wanting to cause a scene thing, but

1234
00:50:51,719 --> 00:50:53,640
Speaker 1: she didn't buy it at all. She said she felt

1235
00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:56,120
Speaker 1: like an because her friend told her a lot of

1236
00:50:56,239 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 1: Cubans are discriminatory, and she defended me so much in

1237
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:02,120
Speaker 1: a qu used her friend of being bigoted knucklehead, and

1238
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:04,880
Speaker 1: how much I embarrassed her and made her feel like crap.

1239
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:06,360
Speaker 1: So I just don't know how to fix this. She

1240
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:09,200
Speaker 1: is furious at me, and I understand why. But I

1241
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:11,560
Speaker 1: was really serious with her and in love with her,

1242
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:13,640
Speaker 1: and we work so well together. I don't want to

1243
00:51:13,680 --> 00:51:15,560
Speaker 1: lose her over this. I feel like she thinks my

1244
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:18,560
Speaker 1: whole family are discriminatory a holes as well, when it's

1245
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:22,080
Speaker 1: definitely not the case my whali, but my family has

1246
00:51:22,239 --> 00:51:24,399
Speaker 1: no choice but to put up with her. My mom

1247
00:51:24,440 --> 00:51:27,480
Speaker 1: and dad do not have a discriminatory bone in their body,

1248
00:51:27,520 --> 00:51:29,759
Speaker 1: and my brother isn't either. I agree my dad and

1249
00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:32,400
Speaker 1: brother were crap for laughing at my grandmother's rants, but

1250
00:51:32,440 --> 00:51:34,200
Speaker 1: they didn't know what else to do, and we're more

1251
00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:37,800
Speaker 1: laughing at how obnoxious she was being. Is there any

1252
00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:40,880
Speaker 1: way I can possibly come back from this? Anyone has

1253
00:51:40,920 --> 00:51:43,319
Speaker 1: similar experiences. I just don't know what to do or

1254
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:45,720
Speaker 1: how to make it up for her. He really is angry,

1255
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:47,680
Speaker 1: and I feel like I hurt her a lot, and

1256
00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:49,160
Speaker 1: there are some comments.

1257
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:51,960
Speaker 4: In reality, you pick and choose your battles.

1258
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:54,400
Speaker 2: That was not a battle to be had in that moment,

1259
00:51:54,840 --> 00:51:58,560
Speaker 2: with the information that he had about Olivia, With the

1260
00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:02,120
Speaker 2: information and the current context of the circumstances, I think

1261
00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:04,560
Speaker 2: maybe he did say I would have snapped back a

1262
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:07,280
Speaker 2: little bit more at the dad and brother who were laughing.

1263
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:09,160
Speaker 4: I'd be like, this is not funny, Yeah, this is

1264
00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:10,200
Speaker 4: not funny. Stop laughing.

1265
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:12,040
Speaker 8: Yeah, all you can do is speak.

1266
00:52:11,760 --> 00:52:15,000
Speaker 2: To the truth of the situation from your perspective and

1267
00:52:15,120 --> 00:52:16,680
Speaker 2: do it in a way that's honest.

1268
00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:19,920
Speaker 1: Oh, as Eagle says, she should be angry and know

1269
00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:21,480
Speaker 1: this is over.

1270
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:21,959
Speaker 4: It's fair.

1271
00:52:22,080 --> 00:52:24,040
Speaker 1: I mean you're gonna have to you might have to

1272
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:26,680
Speaker 1: accept your stumbled Yeah, ke On, what do you think

1273
00:52:26,719 --> 00:52:29,240
Speaker 1: the appropriate thing would be to do in this situation?

1274
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:31,120
Speaker 7: I would just be upset. Like, if it's to me,

1275
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:33,239
Speaker 7: I don't care. But if this is someone I care

1276
00:52:33,280 --> 00:52:36,200
Speaker 7: about and like they're being serious about it, I might chill.

1277
00:52:36,200 --> 00:52:38,080
Speaker 7: Why are you saying that kind of thing for You're

1278
00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:41,080
Speaker 7: to be negative and toxic no matter what in any language.

1279
00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:41,960
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna deal with it.

1280
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:42,960
Speaker 4: I'm at one. Sorry.

1281
00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:45,600
Speaker 1: But regardless of whether she could understand or not, you

1282
00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:47,200
Speaker 1: didn't actually defend her, which.

1283
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:48,040
Speaker 4: Is a little bit of what we're saying.

1284
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:48,759
Speaker 3: That's what I was gonna say.

1285
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:50,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, this post talks too much about her comprehension of

1286
00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:53,120
Speaker 1: the Spanish language, rather than the fact that your grandmother

1287
00:52:53,200 --> 00:52:55,080
Speaker 1: is discriminatory and you should have felt the needs to

1288
00:52:55,080 --> 00:52:57,360
Speaker 1: offend your girlfriend and take her out of that environment,

1289
00:52:57,440 --> 00:52:58,080
Speaker 1: whether or not.

1290
00:52:58,120 --> 00:52:59,000
Speaker 8: She could understand.

1291
00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:01,759
Speaker 1: Didn't you want to leave after hearing your grandmother be

1292
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:04,680
Speaker 1: so horrible didn't make you mad. Screwmaking a scene. I'm

1293
00:53:04,719 --> 00:53:06,400
Speaker 1: with her on this. You can claim the rest of

1294
00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:08,440
Speaker 1: your family was laughing at your grandmother and not with her,

1295
00:53:08,520 --> 00:53:11,480
Speaker 1: but regardless, no one stood up for her. Disown your

1296
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:13,879
Speaker 1: grandmother if you're serious about this girl, if not, let

1297
00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:16,640
Speaker 1: her go and find someone who will have enough respect

1298
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:20,200
Speaker 1: for her not to put her in that position. Maya buela,

1299
00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:22,960
Speaker 1: but my family has no choice but to put up

1300
00:53:22,960 --> 00:53:25,240
Speaker 1: with her. Why does she own all your houses and cars?

1301
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:29,120
Speaker 1: What's wrong with In a mutually comprehensible language, Grandma, stop

1302
00:53:29,200 --> 00:53:33,920
Speaker 1: being excriminatory or shut up? Your family is discriminatory. Poops,

1303
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:37,280
Speaker 1: you're relaxed about okay, and we have an update.

1304
00:53:37,360 --> 00:53:39,720
Speaker 2: That comment is weird because I feel like that's exactly

1305
00:53:39,719 --> 00:53:43,000
Speaker 2: what Opie did. OPI in Spanish is going to grandma

1306
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:45,399
Speaker 2: and being like, Grandma, stop stop saying that, stop it,

1307
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:47,520
Speaker 2: but it wasn't enough, and then she just still sits

1308
00:53:47,520 --> 00:53:47,719
Speaker 2: there and.

1309
00:53:47,719 --> 00:53:49,880
Speaker 4: Goes blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, and

1310
00:53:49,880 --> 00:53:52,440
Speaker 4: he goes, Grandma, stop it, stop stop it.

1311
00:53:52,800 --> 00:53:54,600
Speaker 8: But like we got an update.

1312
00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:58,160
Speaker 1: People gave me a really hard time in my original post,

1313
00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:00,000
Speaker 1: and it made me realize how much of a dumbt

1314
00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:03,440
Speaker 1: but I was being. I apologized profusely to Olivia and

1315
00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:07,040
Speaker 1: called out my extremely behavior and basically begged for forgiveness.

1316
00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:07,800
Speaker 8: He's on his knees.

1317
00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:09,799
Speaker 1: After a couple more days of being mad at me,

1318
00:54:09,880 --> 00:54:11,839
Speaker 1: she was willing to talk to my parents and my brother,

1319
00:54:11,840 --> 00:54:14,120
Speaker 1: who apologized and told her that they really loved her

1320
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:15,640
Speaker 1: and that they didn't mean to hurt her. They tried

1321
00:54:15,640 --> 00:54:17,799
Speaker 1: to explain the situation with my grandmother and why she

1322
00:54:17,920 --> 00:54:19,919
Speaker 1: behaved the way she did and they were just trying

1323
00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:22,560
Speaker 1: to minimize drama, but that what she was saying was

1324
00:54:22,600 --> 00:54:24,319
Speaker 1: wrong and they should have stood up to her. My

1325
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:27,960
Speaker 1: mother got her a gift set from Bath and body Works, costume, jewelry,

1326
00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:30,680
Speaker 1: and chocolate to go along with the apology. So Olivia

1327
00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:34,120
Speaker 1: did forgive me and my family, which I am so

1328
00:54:34,239 --> 00:54:36,640
Speaker 1: relieved about because I really am crazy about this girl.

1329
00:54:36,680 --> 00:54:38,799
Speaker 1: I'm definitely not going to take this for granted. A

1330
00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:41,799
Speaker 1: week ago, my brother, Olivia and I went to an

1331
00:54:41,840 --> 00:54:44,440
Speaker 1: amusement park and my brother and her actually got along

1332
00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:47,520
Speaker 1: really well, and she's definitely convinced he doesn't secretly hate

1333
00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:50,160
Speaker 1: black people. I never thought my brother was discriminatory. When

1334
00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:52,600
Speaker 1: he was in middle school he dated a black girl.

1335
00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:54,680
Speaker 1: He's only fifteen, so I definitely don't blame him for

1336
00:54:54,680 --> 00:54:57,200
Speaker 1: what happened. It was my dad's fault for laughing. But yeah,

1337
00:54:57,239 --> 00:54:59,520
Speaker 1: he really likes her and is glad she doesn't hate him.

1338
00:54:59,520 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 1: My mom invited Olivia to a beach with our family

1339
00:55:03,239 --> 00:55:05,840
Speaker 1: on Saturday. I have way less stayed at home good

1340
00:55:05,880 --> 00:55:08,120
Speaker 1: and although she mostly stayed by me and my brother,

1341
00:55:08,239 --> 00:55:10,160
Speaker 1: she seemed to get along reasonably with my parents and

1342
00:55:10,160 --> 00:55:12,560
Speaker 1: seemed to believe their apology, although she was a bit

1343
00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:14,640
Speaker 1: hesitant to go. By the way, you should never be

1344
00:55:14,719 --> 00:55:17,719
Speaker 1: hesitant to go to our podcast, Okay story Time wherever

1345
00:55:17,719 --> 00:55:21,600
Speaker 1: you get your pod Apple Podcasts, Spotify, your favorite podcast app,

1346
00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:23,239
Speaker 1: just search Okay Storytime.

1347
00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:23,640
Speaker 4: Correct.

1348
00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:26,000
Speaker 1: I've told my grandmother that if she wants to be

1349
00:55:26,080 --> 00:55:28,960
Speaker 1: actively part of her life, she must apologize to Olivia.

1350
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:32,080
Speaker 1: I do think OPI's doing everything right after the initial. Yes,

1351
00:55:32,239 --> 00:55:34,839
Speaker 1: I won't say wrong, but like not doing enough after

1352
00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:36,239
Speaker 1: the initial and not doing again.

1353
00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:37,320
Speaker 4: All of this is informed.

1354
00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:41,000
Speaker 2: But he didn't know his girlfriend could speak or understand

1355
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:43,160
Speaker 2: the actual language. Of course, she could pick up on

1356
00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:45,040
Speaker 2: the vibes either way, but it's like the people who

1357
00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:47,520
Speaker 2: needed to apologize, which are the husband and the dad

1358
00:55:47,520 --> 00:55:51,160
Speaker 2: and the brother are apologizing like also in the moment.

1359
00:55:51,360 --> 00:55:51,879
Speaker 4: Those are the.

1360
00:55:51,800 --> 00:55:54,600
Speaker 2: People that you actually check where it's like if the

1361
00:55:54,719 --> 00:55:56,600
Speaker 2: dad and the brother are laughing, it's like this is

1362
00:55:56,640 --> 00:55:58,360
Speaker 2: not funny, and you check them immediately.

1363
00:55:58,360 --> 00:55:59,799
Speaker 4: Those are the people you can check about that.

1364
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:03,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, my grandmother actually agreed to apologize. Good, But my

1365
00:56:03,520 --> 00:56:05,279
Speaker 1: girlfriend doesn't want to talk to her, and I told

1366
00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:07,040
Speaker 1: her I will not force her to be around her.

1367
00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:09,320
Speaker 1: But I did tell her that my grandmother is sorry

1368
00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:12,360
Speaker 1: for the way she behaves. So yeah, that's my update.

1369
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:14,600
Speaker 1: I appreciated all the replies, no matter how harsh. It

1370
00:56:14,640 --> 00:56:16,759
Speaker 1: really made me realize my still have a lot of

1371
00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:18,520
Speaker 1: growing up to do. But I am really happy she

1372
00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:21,279
Speaker 1: took me back. In another comment, I'm happy for you

1373
00:56:21,360 --> 00:56:23,120
Speaker 1: that you didn't get dumped, but I feel sorry for

1374
00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:26,040
Speaker 1: your girlfriend. That's a crapload of family interaction for her.

1375
00:56:26,200 --> 00:56:28,880
Speaker 1: I've never been seriously offended by my boyfriend's family, and

1376
00:56:28,880 --> 00:56:31,319
Speaker 1: I don't have to see them as frequently as you're

1377
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:34,279
Speaker 1: making your girlfriend see yours. You said yourself that your

1378
00:56:34,280 --> 00:56:36,560
Speaker 1: girlfriend was hesitant to go to the beach, maybe cool

1379
00:56:36,600 --> 00:56:39,040
Speaker 1: it on inviting her to hang out with people that

1380
00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:42,080
Speaker 1: make her feel uncomfortable, and another replies says, it's a

1381
00:56:42,080 --> 00:56:45,400
Speaker 1: black woman in an interracial marriage that's encountered this kind

1382
00:56:45,480 --> 00:56:48,879
Speaker 1: of effery. She'll never feel completely comfortable again. She may

1383
00:56:48,920 --> 00:56:51,080
Speaker 1: want to, I may not discuss this event again, but

1384
00:56:51,120 --> 00:56:52,920
Speaker 1: it will always be somewhere in the back of her

1385
00:56:52,960 --> 00:56:55,840
Speaker 1: mind while dealing with his family and probably with Opie.

1386
00:56:55,960 --> 00:56:58,719
Speaker 1: I personally wouldn't be eager or willing to spend time

1387
00:56:58,760 --> 00:57:00,440
Speaker 1: with his family again. But then again, and there's no

1388
00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:02,759
Speaker 1: way I could forgive OPI's a lack of standing up

1389
00:57:02,800 --> 00:57:06,279
Speaker 1: for Olivia. Anyone in her position deserves so much more

1390
00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:08,440
Speaker 1: than that. If she were my friend, I'd be raising

1391
00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:11,880
Speaker 1: red flags, but I'd bet her loved ones already are.

1392
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:14,480
Speaker 1: In comment two, might be nice to ask your grandma

1393
00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:16,320
Speaker 1: to put an apology in writing so your girlfriend has

1394
00:57:16,320 --> 00:57:18,160
Speaker 1: a choice to read it or not at her leisure.

1395
00:57:18,440 --> 00:57:20,720
Speaker 1: That means girlfriend isn't put on the spot and isn't

1396
00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:23,959
Speaker 1: forced into forgiving before she's ready. And that is where

1397
00:57:23,960 --> 00:57:26,920
Speaker 1: that story ends. I do feel like the comments at

1398
00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:29,640
Speaker 1: the end felt like, you know, punching op while he

1399
00:57:29,720 --> 00:57:32,480
Speaker 1: was already trying to make things right. I feel like

1400
00:57:32,560 --> 00:57:36,800
Speaker 1: he's making efforts to change and get better. Yeah, hey,

1401
00:57:36,800 --> 00:57:38,480
Speaker 1: it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories. But

1402
00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:40,400
Speaker 1: here's three of bits of ads from our sponsors that

1403
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:43,680
Speaker 1: keep the show alive. I found out I was reverse

1404
00:57:43,800 --> 00:57:46,000
Speaker 1: catfished by my boyfriend.

1405
00:57:46,200 --> 00:57:47,280
Speaker 8: He was hotter than you expected.

1406
00:57:47,320 --> 00:57:49,040
Speaker 4: Wait, did you put your thing down? Flip it and

1407
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:50,080
Speaker 4: reverse it? Reverse?

1408
00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:50,520
Speaker 6: Reverse?

1409
00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:53,000
Speaker 1: When my boyfriend I'll call him Christian, and I met,

1410
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:55,560
Speaker 1: I was in a relationship. We were both students at

1411
00:57:55,600 --> 00:57:57,960
Speaker 1: the same university. He knew this, and I confided in

1412
00:57:58,000 --> 00:57:59,600
Speaker 1: him about it. No one else knew. I got out

1413
00:57:59,600 --> 00:58:01,840
Speaker 1: of that, went to counseling court and everything. He knew

1414
00:58:01,840 --> 00:58:04,640
Speaker 1: this and stuck with me and swore up and down

1415
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:06,920
Speaker 1: he was on my side and that he doesn't judge

1416
00:58:06,920 --> 00:58:09,840
Speaker 1: me for it. By the way, this comes from Catfished OMG.

1417
00:58:10,440 --> 00:58:11,960
Speaker 1: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

1418
00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:13,280
Speaker 1: to our slash Okay story time.

1419
00:58:13,320 --> 00:58:13,840
Speaker 8: So read it.

1420
00:58:13,880 --> 00:58:16,120
Speaker 1: So I tell Christian I am not ready to date yet,

1421
00:58:16,160 --> 00:58:19,360
Speaker 1: as I am still recovering, and he says he understands,

1422
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:21,880
Speaker 1: but he still sticks around. We get closer, we sleep together.

1423
00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:24,439
Speaker 1: I am comforted by his company, but I still don't

1424
00:58:24,440 --> 00:58:27,800
Speaker 1: want anything serious. He knows this, but continued to stick around.

1425
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:30,080
Speaker 1: Even if we were not serious. We're just sleeping together

1426
00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:33,480
Speaker 1: slash keeping each other company. He'd still get really jealous

1427
00:58:33,560 --> 00:58:35,960
Speaker 1: of my talking to others. Cared about him, but did

1428
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,560
Speaker 1: not want a relationship, and there were a few flags.

1429
00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:42,560
Speaker 1: Christian read my diary, went through my email, read through

1430
00:58:42,600 --> 00:58:45,720
Speaker 1: my post on the DV support site, and basically kept

1431
00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:48,040
Speaker 1: tabs on me because he was convinced that I would

1432
00:58:48,040 --> 00:58:50,400
Speaker 1: go back to my facts. But I never did. It

1433
00:58:50,440 --> 00:58:52,600
Speaker 1: was never my intention. That's a little overstep.

1434
00:58:52,720 --> 00:58:55,000
Speaker 4: Those are strange vibes from Christian.

1435
00:58:55,120 --> 00:58:57,760
Speaker 1: Christian made me feel like I was damaged in a way,

1436
00:58:57,800 --> 00:59:00,800
Speaker 1: but he said he did it out of concern. But

1437
00:59:00,880 --> 00:59:02,840
Speaker 1: he said he did it out of concern. Also, I

1438
00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:05,480
Speaker 1: placed a restraining order on my ex and never contacted him,

1439
00:59:05,480 --> 00:59:07,560
Speaker 1: so Christian had no reason to think this besides his

1440
00:59:07,840 --> 00:59:11,800
Speaker 1: statistically women go back to a logic. Despite this, we

1441
00:59:11,920 --> 00:59:15,760
Speaker 1: eventually ended up dating seriously. I admired Christian and loved

1442
00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:19,560
Speaker 1: him for sticking through with me, so that also influenced

1443
00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:22,040
Speaker 1: my decision at least on his apartment ends. And he

1444
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:25,320
Speaker 1: doesn't have place to stay for the summer, so I

1445
00:59:25,360 --> 00:59:27,320
Speaker 1: let him stay at my place. He wants us to

1446
00:59:27,360 --> 00:59:29,760
Speaker 1: share an apartment together. I agree with the condition that

1447
00:59:29,800 --> 00:59:32,400
Speaker 1: we put all the past behind us, and he agrees

1448
00:59:32,520 --> 00:59:35,960
Speaker 1: to start anew Since I know he has jealousy slash

1449
00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:38,840
Speaker 1: trust issues since the start of our relationship, I keep

1450
00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:41,240
Speaker 1: everything open my phone, my email, ETCA, and talk in

1451
00:59:41,240 --> 00:59:41,640
Speaker 1: front of him.

1452
00:59:41,680 --> 00:59:42,040
Speaker 8: I don't know.

1453
00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:45,040
Speaker 1: I like having an open phone policy with my partner,

1454
00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:47,840
Speaker 1: but feels like it's coming from the wrong place. Christian

1455
00:59:47,880 --> 00:59:49,080
Speaker 1: and I started living together.

1456
00:59:48,880 --> 00:59:49,880
Speaker 8: And got along really well.

1457
00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:53,360
Speaker 1: I am a licensed in beauty esthetics field, so I

1458
00:59:53,440 --> 00:59:55,320
Speaker 1: made really good money while going to school. At the

1459
00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:57,720
Speaker 1: same time, Christian, despite being from an upper class family,

1460
00:59:57,760 --> 01:00:00,440
Speaker 1: didn't want to take student loans or work outside of field,

1461
01:00:00,560 --> 01:00:04,760
Speaker 1: so he lived off occasional tutoring and a small school stipend.

1462
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:08,040
Speaker 1: We split absolutely everything, even dates. I lend him money

1463
01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:11,240
Speaker 1: various times when he doesn't have any food for bills.

1464
01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:14,800
Speaker 1: Rent said food like split dates, like split money for dates.

1465
01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:17,800
Speaker 1: I loved him, so that did not matter compared to

1466
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:20,840
Speaker 1: the good qualities he had. We stop going out completely.

1467
01:00:21,080 --> 01:00:23,040
Speaker 1: I bring up that I misspending quality time with him,

1468
01:00:23,080 --> 01:00:24,840
Speaker 1: even if we just eat sandwiches in the park and

1469
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:26,880
Speaker 1: he just says he doesn't have money and can't go out,

1470
01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:28,520
Speaker 1: I set up and don't bring it up. He does

1471
01:00:28,560 --> 01:00:30,880
Speaker 1: not have friends, We'll get upset. When I went out

1472
01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:36,000
Speaker 1: with my female friends. He is controlling, Oh my goss controlling.

1473
01:00:36,240 --> 01:00:39,200
Speaker 1: This caused further isolations for me since I stopped going

1474
01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:41,400
Speaker 1: out with them to help build trust in the relationship.

1475
01:00:41,480 --> 01:00:44,960
Speaker 1: Christian wants to go for a PhD in a niche field. Wonderful,

1476
01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:47,920
Speaker 1: He's smart and enjoys it. I support him fully. This

1477
01:00:48,040 --> 01:00:50,280
Speaker 1: means he has to move to another state. We were

1478
01:00:50,280 --> 01:00:53,040
Speaker 1: graduating at the same time and we had been serious

1479
01:00:53,040 --> 01:00:55,280
Speaker 1: for a while, so I think no biggie. During Christmas,

1480
01:00:55,320 --> 01:00:58,160
Speaker 1: his family flies me to meet them. He warns me

1481
01:00:58,320 --> 01:01:00,920
Speaker 1: to not tell them a few things about our relationship,

1482
01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:03,040
Speaker 1: like the fact that we had pets, or that I

1483
01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:05,200
Speaker 1: own a car and he drives it.

1484
01:01:05,280 --> 01:01:07,680
Speaker 8: What he's not lying and controlling?

1485
01:01:07,720 --> 01:01:10,440
Speaker 4: Why are you being so weird? Dude? Why are you

1486
01:01:10,640 --> 01:01:11,440
Speaker 4: so weird?

1487
01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:14,600
Speaker 1: His family is wonderful to me, but he never wants

1488
01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:17,120
Speaker 1: to even discuss what will happen with us. I try

1489
01:01:17,120 --> 01:01:19,720
Speaker 1: to talk about it, since my plans also depended on that,

1490
01:01:19,760 --> 01:01:21,320
Speaker 1: but he never wants to. I let him know that

1491
01:01:21,360 --> 01:01:23,760
Speaker 1: I am supported of him and don't pressure him to talk.

1492
01:01:23,960 --> 01:01:27,560
Speaker 1: Fast forward six months and graduation time comes round. Christian

1493
01:01:27,640 --> 01:01:30,440
Speaker 1: still does not want to talk about our future slash us.

1494
01:01:30,480 --> 01:01:33,480
Speaker 1: I graduate and end up with a job offer, and

1495
01:01:33,600 --> 01:01:36,720
Speaker 1: Christian ended up being unable to graduate until the following

1496
01:01:36,760 --> 01:01:39,920
Speaker 1: semester because he had to rewrite his thesis.

1497
01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:40,240
Speaker 8: Slash.

1498
01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:43,240
Speaker 1: He loses his tutoring job, slash loses his stipend, but

1499
01:01:43,240 --> 01:01:45,360
Speaker 1: at least he was accepted to the new school.

1500
01:01:45,480 --> 01:01:47,840
Speaker 4: He just lost so much, that's a lot. I bet

1501
01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:50,240
Speaker 4: you it's because he plagari thesis.

1502
01:01:50,320 --> 01:01:54,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, or I think he's lying to his family.

1503
01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:58,560
Speaker 4: He's lying about how many assets he has. He's lying,

1504
01:01:58,600 --> 01:02:00,800
Speaker 4: he's lying, and he's lying to you, and he's controlling,

1505
01:02:00,840 --> 01:02:02,480
Speaker 4: and he's controlling, and he's controlling this.

1506
01:02:02,560 --> 01:02:04,800
Speaker 1: Get away from him, Get away from him asap. I

1507
01:02:04,840 --> 01:02:07,240
Speaker 1: am devastating for him. But since he refuses to address

1508
01:02:07,280 --> 01:02:09,280
Speaker 1: what will happen with us, I start applying to those

1509
01:02:09,360 --> 01:02:11,440
Speaker 1: jobs in various cities. I get a phone interview in

1510
01:02:11,480 --> 01:02:13,960
Speaker 1: my hometown and I'm thinking about taking it. Meanwhile, our

1511
01:02:14,080 --> 01:02:16,400
Speaker 1: lease is about to end. I decide I cannot leave

1512
01:02:16,480 --> 01:02:18,439
Speaker 1: Christian for the job, at least for a couple of months,

1513
01:02:18,480 --> 01:02:21,000
Speaker 1: because I feel bad for his horrible situation. He had

1514
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:22,960
Speaker 1: no money, no job. I had to rewrite his thesis

1515
01:02:22,960 --> 01:02:25,080
Speaker 1: and depended on my car because he's not own one.

1516
01:02:25,160 --> 01:02:28,000
Speaker 1: I felt horrible leaving him during this vulnerable moment. I

1517
01:02:28,040 --> 01:02:30,560
Speaker 1: consol Christian. I stay up with him until five am

1518
01:02:30,640 --> 01:02:33,640
Speaker 1: for weeks while he rewrote his thesis, made him coffee, food,

1519
01:02:33,680 --> 01:02:36,600
Speaker 1: read his draft, gave him shoulder rubs, helped him find

1520
01:02:36,640 --> 01:02:39,200
Speaker 1: another job he could do from home. I cover the

1521
01:02:39,280 --> 01:02:42,400
Speaker 1: bills slash rent while his money situation gets better. Oh

1522
01:02:42,440 --> 01:02:45,680
Speaker 1: my god, who are you his mom? I even made

1523
01:02:45,760 --> 01:02:48,320
Speaker 1: him a silly diploma on ord for being the best

1524
01:02:48,320 --> 01:02:48,919
Speaker 1: boyfriend ever?

1525
01:02:48,960 --> 01:02:52,840
Speaker 4: What is he doing? Best boyfriend ever? Just exists? I

1526
01:02:52,920 --> 01:02:54,640
Speaker 4: had that's a nause on.

1527
01:02:54,720 --> 01:02:56,600
Speaker 1: It as a cel just being silly so you would

1528
01:02:56,640 --> 01:02:58,640
Speaker 1: cheer up since he couldn't graduate yet. I tried to

1529
01:02:58,680 --> 01:03:02,080
Speaker 1: be very helpful slash sweat, and then Christian starts acting strange.

1530
01:03:02,160 --> 01:03:03,640
Speaker 1: I go to hug him while he was on his

1531
01:03:03,720 --> 01:03:06,360
Speaker 1: laptop and he was looking at pictures of a girl

1532
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:10,160
Speaker 1: named Caroline on his Facebook. As I come closer, he

1533
01:03:10,240 --> 01:03:13,200
Speaker 1: frantically switches the tab. He used my car for an errand,

1534
01:03:13,320 --> 01:03:16,320
Speaker 1: and then he'd stay in the car texting on his phone,

1535
01:03:16,720 --> 01:03:19,360
Speaker 1: not coming inside. He started taking his phone to the bathroom,

1536
01:03:19,400 --> 01:03:21,160
Speaker 1: which is normal. I take my phone to the bathroom.

1537
01:03:21,200 --> 01:03:23,200
Speaker 1: I catch him going through my phone, but I have

1538
01:03:23,280 --> 01:03:25,280
Speaker 1: nothing to hide, so I let him. You know where

1539
01:03:25,280 --> 01:03:28,880
Speaker 1: this is going. Basically, Christian has been reverse catfishing me

1540
01:03:29,040 --> 01:03:32,200
Speaker 1: through the relationship. Wait what I found out? Caroline ended

1541
01:03:32,240 --> 01:03:34,840
Speaker 1: up being a girl from a dating site. He stayed

1542
01:03:34,880 --> 01:03:37,480
Speaker 1: up writing his thesis, but in reality he was talking

1543
01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:39,680
Speaker 1: to her and others. I find out he tries to

1544
01:03:39,840 --> 01:03:43,640
Speaker 1: portrait himself online as someone very different from real life.

1545
01:03:43,760 --> 01:03:47,560
Speaker 1: He also goes into full details of my objuive relationship

1546
01:03:47,600 --> 01:03:50,800
Speaker 1: with friends and girls from the dating site without being prompted,

1547
01:03:51,040 --> 01:03:53,720
Speaker 1: and tells people things I only told him in confidence.

1548
01:03:53,840 --> 01:03:56,880
Speaker 1: Oh my god, these messages. He's very judgmental of me

1549
01:03:57,000 --> 01:04:00,320
Speaker 1: and basically makes really mean comments about things that I'm like,

1550
01:04:00,400 --> 01:04:03,960
Speaker 1: severely ill and that I contributed to my own abuse.

1551
01:04:04,160 --> 01:04:06,600
Speaker 1: He makes himself to be a victim of the I

1552
01:04:06,640 --> 01:04:09,280
Speaker 1: was a victim of. He portrays himself as a savior

1553
01:04:09,320 --> 01:04:11,880
Speaker 1: and me as an unstable woman. This was a lot

1554
01:04:11,960 --> 01:04:14,880
Speaker 1: of people, including a family member of his ex girlfriend.

1555
01:04:14,960 --> 01:04:16,840
Speaker 1: He has never said these awful things to me. I

1556
01:04:16,840 --> 01:04:19,600
Speaker 1: would have never guessed he thought this of me because

1557
01:04:19,600 --> 01:04:21,440
Speaker 1: he had no reason to think this, and he acted

1558
01:04:21,440 --> 01:04:23,560
Speaker 1: completely different to me because he's a liar.

1559
01:04:23,800 --> 01:04:26,520
Speaker 4: He's a sociopath. That's crazy.

1560
01:04:26,920 --> 01:04:29,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, put this guy in the black hole, the little one,

1561
01:04:29,480 --> 01:04:31,600
Speaker 2: the little black hole that turns you into spaghetti.

1562
01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:34,120
Speaker 1: He would tell me he never used Facebook, but then

1563
01:04:34,160 --> 01:04:36,480
Speaker 1: I found out that he had tons of pictures on Facebook,

1564
01:04:36,560 --> 01:04:39,920
Speaker 1: roughly two hundred to three hundred that he blocked me

1565
01:04:39,920 --> 01:04:42,440
Speaker 1: and his family from seeing through privacy settings. He also

1566
01:04:42,480 --> 01:04:45,040
Speaker 1: blocked me in his media family from seeing status updates

1567
01:04:45,040 --> 01:04:48,120
Speaker 1: and wallposts. He's actually really active on social media and

1568
01:04:48,160 --> 01:04:51,040
Speaker 1: tries to pass as an intellectual, but he even hit

1569
01:04:51,120 --> 01:04:52,000
Speaker 1: innocuous stuff.

1570
01:04:52,160 --> 01:04:53,120
Speaker 4: When his thesis was.

1571
01:04:53,080 --> 01:04:55,800
Speaker 1: Finally approved, he posted an announcement, but he blocked me

1572
01:04:55,840 --> 01:04:58,520
Speaker 1: and his family from saying that the girls from dating

1573
01:04:58,560 --> 01:05:01,520
Speaker 1: sites could slash wood see and comment on these things.

1574
01:05:01,600 --> 01:05:03,960
Speaker 1: Though I also have pets and foster raised kittens, I'm

1575
01:05:04,040 --> 01:05:06,320
Speaker 1: very involved in volunteering, and he would take pictures I

1576
01:05:06,360 --> 01:05:08,600
Speaker 1: had taken of my pets and post them as his

1577
01:05:08,680 --> 01:05:11,720
Speaker 1: own or post like he was fostering them by himself

1578
01:05:11,760 --> 01:05:14,000
Speaker 1: on Facebook and dating sites. He's like, Oh, I'm so,

1579
01:05:14,800 --> 01:05:17,600
Speaker 1: I'm so sympathetic, Look at me. Take care of this puppy.

1580
01:05:17,840 --> 01:05:20,440
Speaker 2: This is like you make a police report and you

1581
01:05:20,720 --> 01:05:23,840
Speaker 2: put him to any website that has like a database

1582
01:05:23,880 --> 01:05:26,800
Speaker 2: of like creepy weirdo liars on dating sites.

1583
01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:27,840
Speaker 6: I don't know if there is one.

1584
01:05:28,440 --> 01:05:31,320
Speaker 1: Kittie got your tongue says, please see she left. She's

1585
01:05:31,360 --> 01:05:36,040
Speaker 1: not leaving yet, she's saying. Tyler says, get the f out, girl, Rod.

1586
01:05:36,280 --> 01:05:38,520
Speaker 1: He made posts like I never existed, or like he

1587
01:05:38,560 --> 01:05:40,680
Speaker 1: had done stuff alone and blocked me from seeing this.

1588
01:05:40,720 --> 01:05:42,840
Speaker 1: On his private settings. He would never post pictures of

1589
01:05:42,960 --> 01:05:45,280
Speaker 1: us together, and I attributed this to shyness that we

1590
01:05:45,320 --> 01:05:47,680
Speaker 1: had hundreds of pictures with his X. I didn't think

1591
01:05:47,720 --> 01:05:50,360
Speaker 1: anything bad of it. I just thought he was shy.

1592
01:05:49,640 --> 01:05:50,680
Speaker 4: I know.

1593
01:05:50,960 --> 01:05:53,880
Speaker 1: Even during my graduation and graduation dinner when my family

1594
01:05:53,920 --> 01:05:56,440
Speaker 1: was there, he could not stop talking to girls from

1595
01:05:56,520 --> 01:05:59,240
Speaker 1: dating sites or talking badly about me to others, which

1596
01:05:59,360 --> 01:06:03,200
Speaker 1: blind side me because we were very solidom having arguments

1597
01:06:03,200 --> 01:06:05,680
Speaker 1: into my face. He would say how wonderful I was,

1598
01:06:05,760 --> 01:06:08,560
Speaker 1: how is his little family and best friend h while

1599
01:06:08,560 --> 01:06:12,880
Speaker 1: simultaneously trying to create this compassionate, pseudo intellectual image online

1600
01:06:12,920 --> 01:06:13,760
Speaker 1: that is very false.

1601
01:06:14,160 --> 01:06:16,880
Speaker 4: Freaking monster freak.

1602
01:06:17,760 --> 01:06:19,840
Speaker 1: So I took the job in my hometown and left

1603
01:06:19,840 --> 01:06:22,400
Speaker 1: our apartment. Our least was ending anyway, and he would

1604
01:06:22,400 --> 01:06:24,840
Speaker 1: be leaving to his new school after me. That point,

1605
01:06:24,920 --> 01:06:26,680
Speaker 1: I knew some of the stuff he had been hiding,

1606
01:06:26,680 --> 01:06:29,440
Speaker 1: but later found out a dating profile and more evidence

1607
01:06:29,480 --> 01:06:33,200
Speaker 1: of lying slash cheating. I calmly talked to him before

1608
01:06:33,200 --> 01:06:35,000
Speaker 1: I left and gave him a chance to come clean,

1609
01:06:35,200 --> 01:06:37,400
Speaker 1: but did not tell him all I knew. He never

1610
01:06:37,520 --> 01:06:40,320
Speaker 1: confessed and maintained the stance that I was amazing and

1611
01:06:40,320 --> 01:06:42,040
Speaker 1: wonderful his best friend. I love his life, and at

1612
01:06:42,080 --> 01:06:44,280
Speaker 1: that point I am confused. As I was leaving, he

1613
01:06:44,400 --> 01:06:46,960
Speaker 1: was bawling his eyes out, begging me to keep talking

1614
01:06:47,000 --> 01:06:48,680
Speaker 1: to him every day, and as I got in my

1615
01:06:48,760 --> 01:06:51,560
Speaker 1: car to finally leave, ask me if I would go

1616
01:06:51,600 --> 01:06:53,280
Speaker 1: to the new state with him because he loves me

1617
01:06:53,320 --> 01:06:53,720
Speaker 1: so much.

1618
01:06:54,080 --> 01:06:56,680
Speaker 4: This is absurd. I don't think I'd be able to

1619
01:06:56,960 --> 01:06:59,520
Speaker 4: stomach it. When he's like a crying like I'm gonna

1620
01:06:59,560 --> 01:07:01,360
Speaker 4: miss you who talked to me every day, I'd be like,

1621
01:07:01,400 --> 01:07:03,480
Speaker 4: I actually know the truth. That's all I would say.

1622
01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:06,400
Speaker 2: People, if you ever want a liar that you know

1623
01:07:06,600 --> 01:07:10,480
Speaker 2: is lying to just crumble into dust in front of you,

1624
01:07:10,480 --> 01:07:13,360
Speaker 2: you just don't tell them what you know. You just

1625
01:07:13,400 --> 01:07:15,080
Speaker 2: go I know everything, But what do you mean you

1626
01:07:15,080 --> 01:07:17,920
Speaker 2: know everything? Like, don't don't even do that I know

1627
01:07:18,400 --> 01:07:21,520
Speaker 2: the truth, and then just watch them crumble into dust.

1628
01:07:21,720 --> 01:07:24,840
Speaker 1: Well, let's see what this person has to say. I

1629
01:07:24,840 --> 01:07:27,160
Speaker 1: don't answer because I do not know this person anymore.

1630
01:07:27,240 --> 01:07:29,720
Speaker 1: I wrote him a letter and send it through snail mail, calmly,

1631
01:07:29,720 --> 01:07:32,680
Speaker 1: politely explaining what I knew, dates and pictures. This cat

1632
01:07:32,760 --> 01:07:35,480
Speaker 1: fishing seems to be from when he met me all

1633
01:07:35,520 --> 01:07:37,000
Speaker 1: the way to the day I left her house. I

1634
01:07:37,080 --> 01:07:39,560
Speaker 1: tell him I have no ill feelings towards him crazy

1635
01:07:39,600 --> 01:07:41,840
Speaker 1: and wished him a nice life. Wow, but that I

1636
01:07:41,880 --> 01:07:44,400
Speaker 1: could never trust him again. Yeah, how could you trust

1637
01:07:44,400 --> 01:07:46,200
Speaker 1: someone that is cheating on you this aggressively?

1638
01:07:46,480 --> 01:07:47,560
Speaker 4: No ill feelings?

1639
01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:51,360
Speaker 1: You should have some ill feelings, you should be ill feelings. Well,

1640
01:07:51,400 --> 01:07:53,720
Speaker 1: make sure you never get into the situation again. I

1641
01:07:53,880 --> 01:07:56,959
Speaker 1: feel ill right now. The reason I sent a letter

1642
01:07:57,080 --> 01:07:59,080
Speaker 1: is because, knowing how much I love him and care,

1643
01:07:59,240 --> 01:08:01,680
Speaker 1: I would probably forget him, but he would probably never

1644
01:08:01,720 --> 01:08:05,200
Speaker 1: admit or apologize to me, and he keep using me anyway,

1645
01:08:05,240 --> 01:08:09,600
Speaker 1: but you should always use us by joining our podcast,

1646
01:08:09,720 --> 01:08:13,240
Speaker 1: Okay story Time by type ity tappened that wherever you

1647
01:08:13,280 --> 01:08:16,439
Speaker 1: get your podcast, whether it be Spotify, out Podcasts, your

1648
01:08:16,439 --> 01:08:19,240
Speaker 1: favorite podcast app, just search okay storytime.

1649
01:08:18,920 --> 01:08:19,840
Speaker 4: Please help me.

1650
01:08:20,080 --> 01:08:21,599
Speaker 8: I need real arms.

1651
01:08:21,840 --> 01:08:24,080
Speaker 1: Honestly, I'm not sure who the heck I even dated.

1652
01:08:24,120 --> 01:08:28,040
Speaker 1: He seems attracted to girls in vulnerable situations yikes, and

1653
01:08:28,120 --> 01:08:31,160
Speaker 1: maybe is intimidated that I was independent. All the girls

1654
01:08:31,160 --> 01:08:33,519
Speaker 1: he has dated have been in a situation where he

1655
01:08:33,680 --> 01:08:36,680
Speaker 1: is sort of a caretaker. How do you call a

1656
01:08:36,680 --> 01:08:38,840
Speaker 1: person that has attracted to vulnerable people? Is there a

1657
01:08:38,920 --> 01:08:40,880
Speaker 1: name for this? What do you guys think? I have

1658
01:08:40,960 --> 01:08:44,040
Speaker 1: not contacted him since, but I feel very hurt used, betrayed,

1659
01:08:44,080 --> 01:08:49,000
Speaker 1: and basically rejudged and invalidated over my past abusive relationships.

1660
01:08:49,360 --> 01:08:53,040
Speaker 1: He acted completely different to who he was. Any advice

1661
01:08:53,080 --> 01:08:57,240
Speaker 1: slash comments are welcome. Girls, stay far away, stay it

1662
01:08:57,320 --> 01:09:00,640
Speaker 1: out away. Get When people start controlling your life, I

1663
01:09:00,640 --> 01:09:03,800
Speaker 1: believe that they don't have your best interests at heart,

1664
01:09:04,280 --> 01:09:07,120
Speaker 1: and they're going to get crazy at some point