1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,000 Speaker 1: Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of 2 00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:20,079 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. Listen if you think you 3 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:27,319 Speaker 1: just need, you know, a little wisdom, some encouragement, this 4 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:30,280 Speaker 1: is the episode for you to listen to. We're gonna 5 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:34,559 Speaker 1: talk about all things trust, the difference between living and 6 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:39,800 Speaker 1: just existing. I just felt the need to encourage some 7 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:42,520 Speaker 1: of the listeners out there. Y'all have been rocking with 8 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:46,240 Speaker 1: me now for three years, and I said every episode, 9 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:50,600 Speaker 1: I don't take your listening, and you're downloading the episodes 10 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:54,240 Speaker 1: for granted add at all. Maybe tug on a friend 11 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 1: and tell them, hey, this episode is for you. All right, y'all, 12 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:03,200 Speaker 1: we are really in the month of May. It really 13 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:07,679 Speaker 1: is the fifth month of twenty twenty three, y'all. This 14 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:11,280 Speaker 1: month is moving, This year is moving, and I hope 15 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:15,040 Speaker 1: you're moving with it. I began to think about the 16 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:22,240 Speaker 1: difference between living and existing and just trying to gauge 17 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:25,520 Speaker 1: the areas that I've just been existing in and areas 18 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:30,600 Speaker 1: that I think I'm thriving in, thriving and living because 19 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:34,800 Speaker 1: life is going to always present a set of challenges, 20 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:40,040 Speaker 1: and my desire is for divine strategy and divine wisdom 21 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:45,319 Speaker 1: on how to navigate the obstacles and challenges that come 22 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:49,920 Speaker 1: my way, not only divine wisdom and strategies on how 23 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:57,120 Speaker 1: to overcome those obstacles. It's like, okay, also, Lord place 24 00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 1: divine help around me. But that is going to require trust, 25 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:08,640 Speaker 1: which I think I've said before, I haven't had an assistant. Ooh, 26 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:12,720 Speaker 1: I haven't had a real assistant in over ten years 27 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 1: because of my lack of trust. And I've got to 28 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:19,359 Speaker 1: get over that. I've got to give people an opportunity 29 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:22,960 Speaker 1: not to prove themselves, because I wouldn't want anyone to 30 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,519 Speaker 1: work for me and think they have to perform for 31 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:29,079 Speaker 1: my trust. Now what do I mean perform? Well, let 32 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:30,760 Speaker 1: me do this to make sure that she no, no, no, 33 00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:33,399 Speaker 1: no no. I want you to be you. And I've 34 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 1: been reading this book. It's a brand new book by 35 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:42,400 Speaker 1: doctor Henry Cloud called Trust. So y'all know doctor Henry 36 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:46,200 Speaker 1: Cloud is one of my favorite author of Safe People 37 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:50,160 Speaker 1: and Boundaries. He's got a few different versions of boundaries. 38 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:54,400 Speaker 1: He's got boundaries and dating boundary, I mean just so many. 39 00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:58,560 Speaker 1: He's the bomb, amazing great psychologists, but he talks to 40 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,679 Speaker 1: you in a practical way. He's from Louisiana. So he's 41 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:05,639 Speaker 1: got a definite down to earth approach. And the subtitle 42 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:07,880 Speaker 1: of his book Trust is called knowing when to give it, 43 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,400 Speaker 1: when to withhold it, how to earn it, and how 44 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,280 Speaker 1: to fix it when it gets broken. So I'm going 45 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:16,200 Speaker 1: to dive into some of those excerpts later. But I 46 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:19,919 Speaker 1: was trying to just figure out areas that I'm thriving 47 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:25,000 Speaker 1: in and then areas where, man, have I just gotten 48 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,880 Speaker 1: so numb in certain areas, And so I just felt 49 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:31,320 Speaker 1: led to encourage some folks out there who are kind 50 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 1: of walking through life a little numb, because that's how 51 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:36,640 Speaker 1: you've chosen to protect yourself. You know, like when you 52 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:39,160 Speaker 1: go to the doctor and they have to give you 53 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,320 Speaker 1: a shot, or you're getting some dental work done and 54 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:43,720 Speaker 1: you gotta get a shot so they'll numb the area, 55 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,560 Speaker 1: and it's kind of like for your protection, so that 56 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:50,440 Speaker 1: you don't feel the pain. I will never forget a 57 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,800 Speaker 1: couple of years ago, I had a dream that I 58 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:56,520 Speaker 1: was being rolled into a surgical room and I was 59 00:03:56,560 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 1: getting surgery or they were gonna cut a leg or something, 60 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:06,880 Speaker 1: but they did not want to give me anesthesia, and 61 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:09,880 Speaker 1: I remember I kept screaming I don't want to feel 62 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 1: the pain. I don't want to feel the pain. I 63 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:14,920 Speaker 1: don't want to feel the pain. Like bro, give me medicine, 64 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:19,719 Speaker 1: give me anesthesia. Numb the area. So, yes, numbing the 65 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:23,680 Speaker 1: area that's painful before you put a needle lined or 66 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:27,840 Speaker 1: do surgery or whatever. Yeah, that's good. It is a 67 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:32,279 Speaker 1: form of protection so that we're not terrorized by pain later, 68 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 1: so that we're not terrorized to go to the doctor, 69 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,040 Speaker 1: you know, for surgery or to get you know, a 70 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:40,880 Speaker 1: shot or medicine, and you got to get an IV. 71 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:44,160 Speaker 1: I get it, I get it. But there are some 72 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,560 Speaker 1: times where you're gonna actually have to feel the pain 73 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:51,920 Speaker 1: in order to heal the pain. I cannot heal something 74 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 1: that I don't feel. You cannot walk around numb your 75 00:04:56,480 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 1: entire life, because to me, when you're walking around numb, 76 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:03,920 Speaker 1: that means there's some areas of healing. And I think 77 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,760 Speaker 1: we lessen the quality of life when we walk around 78 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:10,320 Speaker 1: just so numb and we just want to be so disassociated. 79 00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:16,359 Speaker 1: And actually disassociation is actually a trauma response. It's what 80 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:20,120 Speaker 1: is happening to you as you are being abused or 81 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:27,320 Speaker 1: in an unsafe environment. You literally mentally disassociate yourself. It's 82 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,560 Speaker 1: like out of body. I don't want to see it. 83 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 1: I don't want to hear it. I don't want to 84 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:36,280 Speaker 1: feel it. I remember back in twenty eighteen, I had 85 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:40,520 Speaker 1: a moment of disassociation, and I don't remember the phone 86 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:44,080 Speaker 1: calls made to me. I don't remember anything that I 87 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 1: even did in that period of time. So you can chuckst. 88 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 1: It could be disassociation, or it could even be a 89 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:57,800 Speaker 1: psychotic break like you're so traumatized you just now. This 90 00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:00,800 Speaker 1: is different to me blacking out to do harm to 91 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:04,000 Speaker 1: somebody else. I'm talking about what happens when something has 92 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:08,480 Speaker 1: been done to you, or you've gotten some news that 93 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:11,720 Speaker 1: you just couldn't handle. Have you ever seen a loveding 94 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:15,200 Speaker 1: or maybe yourself when you got news that someone passed 95 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:20,720 Speaker 1: away and it was unexpected and you pass out, You 96 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:26,560 Speaker 1: black out, You don't remember anything, right. But then there's 97 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:31,159 Speaker 1: sometimes where we are aware of the moment, but for 98 00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:37,279 Speaker 1: the future, we just do things in our life where 99 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:38,960 Speaker 1: we're like, you know, I don't want to feel the pain. 100 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 1: It's because you don't want to feel the pain. You 101 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:45,159 Speaker 1: won't go over Grandma's house anymore because y'all are so close, 102 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,640 Speaker 1: and when she passed away, you just can't. You don't 103 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,719 Speaker 1: want to feel the pain. You don't want to. You 104 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:51,839 Speaker 1: don't want to smell fried chicken no more because it 105 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:54,640 Speaker 1: reminds you of your best friend, because y'all used to 106 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,320 Speaker 1: smoke weed and eat chicken wings when you had the munchies, 107 00:06:57,360 --> 00:07:00,920 Speaker 1: and now they're no longer here, or you're even someone 108 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:05,240 Speaker 1: who's actually maybe y'all broke up and you just want 109 00:07:05,279 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 1: to disassociate yourself from the memories, or you want to 110 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:13,040 Speaker 1: disassociate yourself from the pain that they caused you. I 111 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:16,800 Speaker 1: get it, but we got to heal that pain so 112 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:21,120 Speaker 1: we can be able to feel the wind on our cheeks, 113 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 1: the sun beat on our face. You want to be 114 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:27,800 Speaker 1: able to feel the love that someone else is trying 115 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 1: to give you, but because you're so blocked off, you 116 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:35,960 Speaker 1: can't feel love. And I know you ain't given love. 117 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:40,720 Speaker 1: So I just wanted to speak into that, you know, 118 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:44,920 Speaker 1: and sometimes in order to feel the pain to heal it, 119 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:48,080 Speaker 1: I would encourage you to unpack that pain with someone, 120 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:52,640 Speaker 1: a professional or someone that you deem safe. Well, what 121 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,120 Speaker 1: do you mean, Michelle, So if you want to unpack 122 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,920 Speaker 1: your pain with someone and process your pain with a friend. 123 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:01,040 Speaker 1: Some steps are asked that friend and be like, hey, 124 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:04,120 Speaker 1: I want to process something with you, something that's just 125 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:10,960 Speaker 1: been weighing me down. But before I unload on you emotionally, 126 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:15,679 Speaker 1: are you in a place to help me right now? Now? 127 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,000 Speaker 1: You're a safe person, And if that person is a 128 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 1: safe person, you are giving them the choice to say, 129 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:27,920 Speaker 1: of course, let's talk. Or that person might say, Hey, 130 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:30,840 Speaker 1: let me put my kids to bed right quick, let 131 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:33,560 Speaker 1: me feed the dogs, let me make sure my partner 132 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:36,360 Speaker 1: has eaten, and I'm gonna call you back in an hour. 133 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:40,400 Speaker 1: Or that person might say I want to give y'all 134 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:46,080 Speaker 1: permission to even tell that person like, man, I'm in 135 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,520 Speaker 1: a place right now that I can listen, but I 136 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:50,960 Speaker 1: just want to let you know I'm in a place 137 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:54,200 Speaker 1: right now where you might not want to hear my 138 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,880 Speaker 1: advice on a situation because I'm going through it too. 139 00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:01,360 Speaker 1: So I'm just giving you variations of how to ask 140 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:05,520 Speaker 1: somebody and and what a safe person's response can be. 141 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:09,719 Speaker 1: An unsafe person will be like, man, I hope we 142 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:11,880 Speaker 1: ain't finna talk about so and so because I told 143 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:13,640 Speaker 1: you not to date them in the first place. See 144 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,720 Speaker 1: if you didn't date them. You wouldn't be heartbroken if 145 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:19,480 Speaker 1: man I told you not to move back to so 146 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:24,720 Speaker 1: and so. That's unsafe a safe person. I've already given 147 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:28,000 Speaker 1: you a couple variations of how a safe person will 148 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 1: respond if you decide you want to unpack the pain 149 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:38,040 Speaker 1: or unpacked the pain with a professional counselor. But I 150 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:40,760 Speaker 1: really want you to get that weight off of you. 151 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 1: I feel like the pain you carry is weight. It's 152 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 1: kind of like imagine if you're trying to walk on 153 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:49,160 Speaker 1: a beautiful beach and you got buckets in your hand 154 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:53,080 Speaker 1: because you're supposed to be collecting sand, but it's nothing 155 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:57,880 Speaker 1: but stones, and each stone represents pain you're carrying. Each 156 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:05,600 Speaker 1: stone represents betrayal, disappointment, regret, and it seems like it's 157 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:09,920 Speaker 1: light to carry at first, but the longer you keep walking, 158 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:14,160 Speaker 1: it gets heavier. So I want you to be able 159 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 1: to walk through life and unburden yourselves. I want you 160 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:27,880 Speaker 1: to lighten your load. To my friends that are listening, 161 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:32,720 Speaker 1: who listen every week, I want to call your name individually, 162 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:39,840 Speaker 1: but baby girl, unload that pain. That pain is not 163 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:44,240 Speaker 1: your identity. It is not who you are. The pain 164 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:46,840 Speaker 1: that someone inflicted on you is not who you are. 165 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,960 Speaker 1: The disappointment you feel, that's not your identity. You have 166 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:54,400 Speaker 1: nothing to do with that. But you are responsible for 167 00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 1: your healing. You cannot put your healing in the hands 168 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:02,040 Speaker 1: of the person that hurt you in the first place. 169 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:06,040 Speaker 1: Nine times out of ten they have moved on with 170 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,560 Speaker 1: their life. They probably don't even know that you hurt. 171 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:11,600 Speaker 1: They hurt you because they're so toxic, they're so used 172 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:16,160 Speaker 1: to living in dysfunction that they think it's normal. No, no, no, no, no, 173 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:21,959 Speaker 1: it is not normal. Just because you survive dysfunction, don't 174 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:28,280 Speaker 1: mean it's normal, all right. Surviving abuse, being abused is 175 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:34,280 Speaker 1: not normal, verbally, physically, in any kind of way. It's 176 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:37,720 Speaker 1: not cool, all right. So that will get you to 177 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:42,160 Speaker 1: a place of living and not just existing because you 178 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:45,959 Speaker 1: chose to numb yourself because of all the pain that 179 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:49,680 Speaker 1: you're in. And maybe maybe you're not the person in pain. 180 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:52,880 Speaker 1: Maybe you're in relationship with someone who is and it's 181 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,760 Speaker 1: affecting the quality of your relationships. And I'm not just 182 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:59,800 Speaker 1: talking about romantic relationships, just people you friends with some 183 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 1: how do you cool it? They always come into the 184 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:08,280 Speaker 1: house down, They always negative that they're in pain. Help them, 185 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:12,720 Speaker 1: Maybe initiate the conversation and be like, friend, it's been 186 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:16,760 Speaker 1: about four years. I don't know whether it's been a 187 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:19,360 Speaker 1: year four years and we keep talking about the same thing, 188 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:23,880 Speaker 1: or I knowice like you just seem so irritable, and 189 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:28,880 Speaker 1: irritability is often mistake for anger when it's really depression, 190 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:33,480 Speaker 1: all right. So that person could just be depressed because 191 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 1: they haven't had an outlet or a safe place to 192 00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:39,720 Speaker 1: share you know what they've been going through, you know 193 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:42,800 Speaker 1: what I mean. My pastor said something on Sunday, he 194 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:47,400 Speaker 1: said some people want attention, not intervention. So you gonna 195 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,200 Speaker 1: have those people in your life as well, but make 196 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:53,800 Speaker 1: sure it's not you, all right, And make sure that 197 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:57,120 Speaker 1: when a person is talking to you, you have permission 198 00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:59,920 Speaker 1: to say I hear what you're saying, and thank you 199 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:03,199 Speaker 1: so much for sharing. Are you just wanting me to listen? 200 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:07,480 Speaker 1: Or do you want my advice? Or can I help 201 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,520 Speaker 1: you with a solution, especially if you have a track 202 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,480 Speaker 1: record of great solutions, Especially if you have a great 203 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:17,760 Speaker 1: track record like I'm gonna take advice from somebody who 204 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:21,240 Speaker 1: got a life that I want to live. Well, I 205 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:23,360 Speaker 1: guess you can also listen to people who live a 206 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,720 Speaker 1: life you don't want to live because of bad choices 207 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,880 Speaker 1: that they made. You can look at them and be like, Okay, 208 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:30,320 Speaker 1: you a blueprint and you out of life that I 209 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:34,800 Speaker 1: don't want to live, but it's a possibility. Like I 210 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:38,319 Speaker 1: feel like I have the authority to speak on areas 211 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:43,560 Speaker 1: of healing depression, anxiety. I feel like I've walked through enough. 212 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:48,800 Speaker 1: I feel like I've overcome enough. I feel like I believe. 213 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:53,280 Speaker 1: I hope I've been a good witness to y'all about 214 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:58,839 Speaker 1: being resilient, getting that bounced back, you know, from situations 215 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,920 Speaker 1: that were meant to kill me, humiliate me, embarrass me, 216 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,680 Speaker 1: or make me just want to give up on life. 217 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:11,079 Speaker 1: Through the grace of God and y'all's prayers and support, oooh, 218 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:15,440 Speaker 1: I'm here. I'm here, and there are so many other 219 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,240 Speaker 1: people who've got a great track record of living this 220 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:22,920 Speaker 1: life that you can talk to. And so I really 221 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:25,560 Speaker 1: pray that, and I hope y'all allow me to say 222 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:29,160 Speaker 1: the word pray. My prayer is that you get surrounded 223 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:36,800 Speaker 1: with safe people and people you can trust. So, speaking 224 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:41,440 Speaker 1: of trust, I have been reading this book called Trust 225 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:46,600 Speaker 1: by doctor Henry Cloud. Again. The subtitle is knowing when 226 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:51,080 Speaker 1: to give it, when to withhold it, how to earn it, 227 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:56,040 Speaker 1: and how to fix it when it gets broken. Y'all, 228 00:14:56,080 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 1: we gotta trust. Have you ever heard people that say, 229 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:03,680 Speaker 1: I don't trust nobody, but you get on an airplane. 230 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:07,680 Speaker 1: You don't know the pilot, you don't know the flight attendance, 231 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:14,600 Speaker 1: but you on that plane. I don't trust nobody, but 232 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:20,920 Speaker 1: you get your food delivered. I don't trust nobody, but 233 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:24,680 Speaker 1: you drive a car hoping that everybody obeys the traffic 234 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:32,200 Speaker 1: signals and stop signs. Child, you ain't got that one person, 235 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:36,640 Speaker 1: so ask them if you don't trust nobody. You took 236 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:40,520 Speaker 1: the subway to work today, did you trust the conductor 237 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:44,280 Speaker 1: and that the train would not derail based on the 238 00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:46,960 Speaker 1: people that are to ensure that the train stays on 239 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:51,640 Speaker 1: the rail. So you trust somebody, all right? Ain't that funny? 240 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:57,200 Speaker 1: So there are some things in the book where he 241 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,880 Speaker 1: says we can become better and better at knowing who 242 00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:03,600 Speaker 1: is trustworthy and who is not, and we can get 243 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:07,040 Speaker 1: better at deciding when and with whom we will put 244 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:12,560 Speaker 1: ourselves at risk. Loving someone is a risk. Being in 245 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:16,640 Speaker 1: relationship with some is a risk. Chow some of your 246 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:21,280 Speaker 1: coworkers is a risk. But it is a risk that 247 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:25,960 Speaker 1: majority of the time you will find that it was 248 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:30,760 Speaker 1: a risk worth taking. There's a part in this book 249 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:35,160 Speaker 1: that says, possibly everyone reading this book, including me, has 250 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:40,040 Speaker 1: been victimized by a betrayal small or large that still stings. 251 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:45,960 Speaker 1: We all have our stories of misplaced trust. We either 252 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,960 Speaker 1: missed warning signs and moved forward when we shouldn't have, 253 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:54,560 Speaker 1: or worse, the warning signs were not visible, y'all. I 254 00:16:54,800 --> 00:17:00,520 Speaker 1: definitely moved forward on something when I shouldn't have. Before, 255 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:04,280 Speaker 1: I moved forward on doing a reality show when something 256 00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:08,040 Speaker 1: in the pit of my stomach said do not do it, 257 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:12,200 Speaker 1: and we did it anyway, And I think we both 258 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:15,239 Speaker 1: did it because we were like, no, this is just 259 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:20,919 Speaker 1: the first time of doing something like this. We're just afraid. No. No, 260 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:25,119 Speaker 1: God was trying to protect. He was trying to protect 261 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:29,560 Speaker 1: so much in that season of my life, but I 262 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:34,119 Speaker 1: did not heed to that warning, missing warning signs. This 263 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:37,480 Speaker 1: book says everything about the situation looked good on the surface, 264 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:41,280 Speaker 1: and maybe it was, but we got burned. Anyway, when 265 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:44,080 Speaker 1: we look back, we say to ourselves, I just didn't 266 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:47,080 Speaker 1: see that coming, or how could they have done that 267 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:50,760 Speaker 1: to me? We were such good friends or lovers or partners. 268 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:54,240 Speaker 1: How could they have treated me that way? And sometimes 269 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:58,080 Speaker 1: it is not even an actual betrayal, but someone's honest 270 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:02,679 Speaker 1: inability to do what we need. We don't have good answers, 271 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:08,879 Speaker 1: but we do have scars. I promise you that you 272 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:12,360 Speaker 1: will never be betrayed or let down again after reading 273 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:16,840 Speaker 1: this book. Okay. One of the goals of the book 274 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,000 Speaker 1: is to equip you to know how to read between 275 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:22,359 Speaker 1: the lines of what someone tells you, tries to sell you, 276 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,840 Speaker 1: or promises you, and to be able to see what 277 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:29,040 Speaker 1: is trustworthy and what is not. Listen, I got to 278 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:34,199 Speaker 1: have him on the podcast. But this blessed me so 279 00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:39,680 Speaker 1: much and blessed me so much, especially when you are 280 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:44,280 Speaker 1: in a situation where you're like, Okay, I don't trust, 281 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:46,960 Speaker 1: but I want to trust. This book even says that 282 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:54,439 Speaker 1: trust muscles can be repaired. Isn't that encouraging because maybe 283 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:59,000 Speaker 1: you were the person that inflicted pain, right, and so 284 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:03,280 Speaker 1: you are working to establish trust in a relationship again, 285 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:08,399 Speaker 1: And so I was encouraged. You know when he said 286 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:12,240 Speaker 1: in the book that trust muscles can be repaired. You 287 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:15,600 Speaker 1: gotta heal first, get past the anger and need for 288 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:22,360 Speaker 1: revenge and forgive, ponder and determine its reconciliation possible, and 289 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:25,400 Speaker 1: then a new track record being built. So while you're 290 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:28,640 Speaker 1: building those trust muscles, somebody should be able to look 291 00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:31,560 Speaker 1: back and say, ma'am, you really hurt me or you 292 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:35,600 Speaker 1: really disappointed me, but your track record these past six 293 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:39,439 Speaker 1: months or this past year has helped me rebuild my 294 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:43,200 Speaker 1: trust in you. Listen, you ain't perfect. I'm not perfect. 295 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:46,480 Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna need someone to trust me again. 296 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,960 Speaker 1: And I have been in that place where I needed 297 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:55,080 Speaker 1: someone to trust me again. And I love I love love, love, 298 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:59,720 Speaker 1: love love love. The five essentials of trust, he says 299 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:02,600 Speaker 1: that you can trust someone when you feel your needs 300 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:08,479 Speaker 1: or understood, felt and cared about. So that's understanding. The 301 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:12,119 Speaker 1: second essential love trust is motive, when he says you 302 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:15,120 Speaker 1: can trust someone when you feel their motive is for you, 303 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:19,200 Speaker 1: not just for themselves. I have been in situations where 304 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:23,920 Speaker 1: I've been asked to do something and I be like, now, 305 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,800 Speaker 1: how this's gonna work out for me? What's in it 306 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:28,199 Speaker 1: for me? Now? There are moments where you do do 307 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,920 Speaker 1: things for people because you're like, God's been so good 308 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,600 Speaker 1: to me. I don't need nothing out of this, I'm 309 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,280 Speaker 1: gonna show up, I'm there, let's go. But then there 310 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:39,000 Speaker 1: are some people you're like, they kind of got an 311 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:44,399 Speaker 1: opportuneist spirit on them, right, So you can trust someone 312 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:47,680 Speaker 1: when you feel that even when they ask of you 313 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:50,959 Speaker 1: to do something, you still feel like their motive is 314 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:56,080 Speaker 1: for you and not just for themselves. A thirty central 315 00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:59,119 Speaker 1: love trust is ability. You can trust someone when you 316 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:02,119 Speaker 1: feel they have the ability or capacity to guard and 317 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:05,639 Speaker 1: deliver results for what you have and trusted to them. Okay, 318 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:08,920 Speaker 1: some of y'all are in partnership with a friend loved one, 319 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:14,280 Speaker 1: y'all are opening up a business. Uh, y'all decided, Hey, 320 00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:17,720 Speaker 1: we gonna do a food truck, or we gonna have 321 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:22,239 Speaker 1: a dance group, or we're gonna design clothes together. And 322 00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:27,720 Speaker 1: they keep missing deadlines, your trust is eventually waning or 323 00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:30,520 Speaker 1: they barely meet the deadline, and you're like, I don't 324 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,480 Speaker 1: trust that you're gonna deliver. I don't trust that you 325 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:36,480 Speaker 1: can do this work. So another essential of trust is 326 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:40,680 Speaker 1: the ability. Do they have the ability to deliver results 327 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:43,480 Speaker 1: for what you've been trusted them to do. Maybe you 328 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:46,240 Speaker 1: have a company and you've hired someone and they keep 329 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:49,480 Speaker 1: dropping the ball The amazing thing about this book is 330 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:53,760 Speaker 1: just not trust as it relates to romantic partners or family. 331 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,360 Speaker 1: It's also for leaders. It's also for business owners. It's 332 00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:00,119 Speaker 1: you know, you're like, yo, I got employees, and do 333 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:03,040 Speaker 1: what I keep dropping the ball. I'm starting to lose 334 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:08,359 Speaker 1: trust in them. Baby, Listen, they gotta know honey, you 335 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:10,439 Speaker 1: lose and trust in them and they finna lose what 336 00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:13,960 Speaker 1: they say You about to lose your job. Uh. The 337 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,800 Speaker 1: fourth e center of trust is character. You can trust 338 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:21,199 Speaker 1: someone who has the character or personal makeup needed for 339 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:25,400 Speaker 1: what you and trust them with Trusting someone who has 340 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:33,359 Speaker 1: the character. Ooh. Character is so important because it's not 341 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:40,399 Speaker 1: it's not what you do really on stage, it's how 342 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:44,160 Speaker 1: are you off the stage? It's not what you do 343 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:51,240 Speaker 1: in front of everybody? What are you like behind closed doors? Hey? Oh, 344 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:54,520 Speaker 1: I know for me, that's something you gotta work on 345 00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:56,439 Speaker 1: every day because I don't want to be the person 346 00:22:56,440 --> 00:23:01,199 Speaker 1: where it's like the world adores me, but my kids 347 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:03,520 Speaker 1: one day or my husband one day is lit. But 348 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:07,440 Speaker 1: she was a witch at home? You know what I mean? Like, no, no, no, 349 00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,840 Speaker 1: you will all of that to match. No, it's all 350 00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:17,240 Speaker 1: gotta make sense. Character people the fifth essentials of trust 351 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:20,119 Speaker 1: is you can trust someone who has a track record 352 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,840 Speaker 1: of performing in the ways you need them to perform. 353 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:26,800 Speaker 1: Track record, all right, you can trust someone who has 354 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:30,320 Speaker 1: the track record of just showing up when people say 355 00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:35,120 Speaker 1: they're gonna do something. They're there, you're getting ready to move, 356 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:37,320 Speaker 1: and someone says, okay, i' a beat, I may help 357 00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:38,920 Speaker 1: you pack it all up, and I'm gonna let you 358 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:43,000 Speaker 1: use my truck, and we and then they don't show up, 359 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,840 Speaker 1: they don't call, and they've done this like twice on you. 360 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:54,800 Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. Y'all. It blessed me so much. And the 361 00:23:54,960 --> 00:24:03,360 Speaker 1: five essentials of trust again, those five essentials are under standing, motive, ability, character, 362 00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:07,359 Speaker 1: and track record. But y'all, it made me ask two 363 00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:12,520 Speaker 1: questions of myself. It made me ask who is in 364 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:16,280 Speaker 1: my life that has these five essentials? Who is in 365 00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:20,040 Speaker 1: your life that has those five essentials? And then the 366 00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:25,119 Speaker 1: other question I had was do I carry these essentials 367 00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:30,359 Speaker 1: in me? Can people say that I have those five 368 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:37,919 Speaker 1: essentials of trust? I've been big on talking about setting boundaries, right, 369 00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:41,600 Speaker 1: but like, how many people have maybe had to set 370 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:45,400 Speaker 1: a boundary with me, Lisa, I'm setting boundaries. I don't 371 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:51,240 Speaker 1: trust nobody. Well do people trust you? Do you carry 372 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:57,240 Speaker 1: those five trust essentials? Can people say your motive is pure? 373 00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,399 Speaker 1: Can people say that you show up up? Can people 374 00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:05,320 Speaker 1: say you know what so and so is a hot mess? 375 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:15,200 Speaker 1: But they are consistent, they got my back. I'm so grateful. 376 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:21,359 Speaker 1: I know I got at least one hand of people 377 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,880 Speaker 1: that I can name right now that are consistent. We 378 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:29,160 Speaker 1: might not talk every day every week, but they are 379 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:34,440 Speaker 1: consistent in showing up. They are consistent in how they 380 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:41,040 Speaker 1: move towards me and with me. I'm thankful, I'm super thankful. 381 00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:44,399 Speaker 1: But I always got to make sure that that level 382 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,120 Speaker 1: of trust and how I need people to show up 383 00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:50,720 Speaker 1: for me. I gotta make sure that I show up 384 00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:54,320 Speaker 1: for them and don't just show up when it's convenient. 385 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,399 Speaker 1: Isn't it something where you're like, you know, I got 386 00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:59,280 Speaker 1: a call off work, but I'm gonna be there for 387 00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:02,040 Speaker 1: you in your time need. I'm gonna take a vacation 388 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:05,120 Speaker 1: day and I'm gonna be there. Somebody might lost their parents, 389 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,800 Speaker 1: lost a loved one, or lost a job and they're 390 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:12,200 Speaker 1: going through depression. Can you show up for somebody? Can 391 00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:17,920 Speaker 1: you instacart them some some groceries, child I'll never forget 392 00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:22,080 Speaker 1: during COVID if folks that I knew were sick, I'd 393 00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:23,480 Speaker 1: be like, well, at least let me send you some 394 00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,680 Speaker 1: ginger rell because I ain't coming to your house. But 395 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:29,440 Speaker 1: let me send you this good old chicken soup and 396 00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:34,000 Speaker 1: some turmeric and ginger probiotic. You know them little drinks 397 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:38,480 Speaker 1: that you can just shoot them and just swallow them 398 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:42,600 Speaker 1: in like two seconds. Yeah, that's me. That's me. I'm 399 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:44,879 Speaker 1: gonna send you some groceries in a minute, now, that's me. 400 00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:48,439 Speaker 1: But as you get older, you really value and cherish 401 00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:53,240 Speaker 1: relationships more than ever before. I really value and cherish 402 00:26:53,359 --> 00:27:00,400 Speaker 1: the relationships that I have, and I certainly certain lead 403 00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:06,840 Speaker 1: value you. I really do. I certainly value the relationships 404 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:10,520 Speaker 1: that I have with you guys, and truly truly thankful. 405 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:15,760 Speaker 1: So let me know. When it comes to trust, it's 406 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:21,200 Speaker 1: not a game. It says to trust is human. When 407 00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:27,080 Speaker 1: we can't trust, we lose a lot of the human experience. 408 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:32,560 Speaker 1: He's a psychologist, so he was saying how you might 409 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,919 Speaker 1: have heard of mirror neurons. They are another example of 410 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:40,280 Speaker 1: how we are wired for trust. In the most basic terms, 411 00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:43,840 Speaker 1: neurons function as communicators in the body they receive and 412 00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:48,760 Speaker 1: transmit information and stimuli. I mean he's going really, really, 413 00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:52,040 Speaker 1: really really into it, he says. The brain of the 414 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:55,080 Speaker 1: person we are talking to forms a connection with us 415 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:58,840 Speaker 1: and mirrors our feelings and expressions in a deep, natural bond. 416 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:02,480 Speaker 1: That call is the two of us to connect even 417 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:08,800 Speaker 1: more deeply. Love, growth, faith, physical health, economic success, and more. 418 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:15,840 Speaker 1: These all run on trust, and without trust, things stagnate 419 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:19,919 Speaker 1: or even die. When we realize that trust is not optional, 420 00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:22,560 Speaker 1: that all of human life is designed and wired to 421 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:26,560 Speaker 1: only work when we trust, we begin to treat trust 422 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:34,119 Speaker 1: with the utmost respect. Listen, trust, It sounds like to me, 423 00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:38,160 Speaker 1: trust is a gift and we just got to know 424 00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:41,880 Speaker 1: when to give it, when to withhold it. Trust is 425 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:45,360 Speaker 1: a gift, how to earn it, and how to fix 426 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:50,960 Speaker 1: it when it gets broken. If someone you love has 427 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,920 Speaker 1: broken their trust with you, but you want to trust 428 00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:58,280 Speaker 1: them again, or you want them to make sure that 429 00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:01,960 Speaker 1: they're building that track record of trust, I would say 430 00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:07,520 Speaker 1: get this book. Trust Doctor Henry Cloud is a trusted voice. 431 00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,360 Speaker 1: And so I want to say this before I go. 432 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:13,280 Speaker 1: I want to apologize to you if you feel like 433 00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:16,239 Speaker 1: no one has apologized to you for the area that 434 00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:20,440 Speaker 1: you were disappointed in a betrayal of trust. I want 435 00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:23,400 Speaker 1: to apologize to you, and I want to encourage you 436 00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:26,480 Speaker 1: to start working on the healing journey on your own. 437 00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:31,080 Speaker 1: Because some of us are upset about apologies. We will 438 00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:35,480 Speaker 1: never get all right, So I want you to thrive. 439 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:39,320 Speaker 1: I want you to live. I don't want you to 440 00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:43,880 Speaker 1: just walk around here numb and just existing like a zombie. 441 00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:48,600 Speaker 1: Matter of fact, listen to JJ Harriston's song. It's called 442 00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:52,760 Speaker 1: You're Gonna Live because you're gonna live to see it happen. 443 00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:56,160 Speaker 1: You're gonna live to see you trusting again. You're gonna 444 00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:58,680 Speaker 1: live to see you loving again. You're gonna see you 445 00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:02,640 Speaker 1: thriving again, all right, and you're gonna see you picking 446 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:06,880 Speaker 1: up that area where you had big dreams and you 447 00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:11,840 Speaker 1: just set it down because you don't trust. No, that's 448 00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:14,239 Speaker 1: not gonna be your portion. Because by the end of 449 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:18,640 Speaker 1: this year, I pray to get one testimony from this 450 00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:25,200 Speaker 1: episode that you've decided to live and trust. I truly, 451 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:29,720 Speaker 1: truly hope and pray that this episode touched your heart. 452 00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,760 Speaker 1: Maybe is helping you and causing you to think of 453 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,680 Speaker 1: things in another way as it relates to trust, who 454 00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:39,200 Speaker 1: to trust, when to trust, should you trust ever again, 455 00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:43,520 Speaker 1: And that you begin to live life. If you are 456 00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:45,840 Speaker 1: one of the ones who have just been kind of 457 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:49,680 Speaker 1: walking through life, existing and just kind of numb to everything, 458 00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:53,480 Speaker 1: because that's how you've chosen to protect yourself. Always know 459 00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:55,840 Speaker 1: that I love you. You are so loved. If you 460 00:30:55,880 --> 00:31:01,280 Speaker 1: need any resources, please don't hesitate to DM me on Instagram. 461 00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:05,720 Speaker 1: My instagram is at Michelle Williams. All Right. I love 462 00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:10,440 Speaker 1: y'all so so much, and thank you for tuning in 463 00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:47,920 Speaker 1: to another episode of Checking In. Checking In with Michelle 464 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:51,200 Speaker 1: Williams is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. 465 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:57,080 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, 466 00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:59,240 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.