WEBVTT - Yertle the Racist Turtle (with Carl Tart) 0:00:03.320 --> 0:00:06.960 Gotta take it to academia. Hell yeah, which I definitely 0:00:07.320 --> 0:00:10.239 feel like this is what this qualifies as academia and 0:00:10.320 --> 0:00:25.760 our cookies. Uh, what's fascinating white chocolate academian? That all right? 0:00:28.040 --> 0:00:32.559 All right, that'll be the last time we did we 0:00:32.680 --> 0:00:58.680 accept on this shows quality racist money. I can't tell 0:00:58.800 --> 0:01:05.640 me bing bang nut nut There it is, there, it is. 0:01:06.440 --> 0:01:11.839 Welcome to you, gotta let me get through it. Good, 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:16.800 you're going crazy. Welcome to another brand new episode of 0:01:17.000 --> 0:01:21.160 My Mama Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep, 0:01:21.440 --> 0:01:25.120 deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories and we 0:01:25.160 --> 0:01:29.800 work to prove that the Nike Corporation is, in fact, 0:01:29.840 --> 0:01:35.559 an offshoot of the Newport Corporation, developed to take all 0:01:35.600 --> 0:01:38.920 of black people's money. Look at the symbols. They just 0:01:39.120 --> 0:01:43.120 flipped it upside down. People. I am David Bording, whoa, 0:01:44.200 --> 0:01:47.319 I'm Lengthy Kerman, and I'm shocked. I'm shocked at what 0:01:47.640 --> 0:01:50.360 the web you're spending right now. Let's try to web. 0:01:50.640 --> 0:01:54.880 Try to web terrifying a web if it's real? Well, web, 0:01:55.040 --> 0:01:57.760 all right, I get what you're trying to say. I 0:01:57.760 --> 0:01:59.720 don't think you're nailing that part of it. But the 0:01:59.760 --> 0:02:03.760 thing you said before, that's that feels like something I'm saying. 0:02:03.760 --> 0:02:07.000 Flip it upside down, flip it upside down, and so 0:02:07.160 --> 0:02:11.240 and so. To be clear, what you're also suggesting is 0:02:11.320 --> 0:02:15.240 that they they invented Newports. They were like, this is 0:02:15.400 --> 0:02:18.040 this is a business. We we know we're gonna kill 0:02:18.080 --> 0:02:21.360 these motherfuckers with this shit. We have great ads. And 0:02:21.400 --> 0:02:24.760 they were like, that's not a fucking enough Too many 0:02:24.800 --> 0:02:28.160 of them are surviving. Flip that check upside down. We 0:02:28.200 --> 0:02:30.840 got a new idea athletic ones on board as well. 0:02:31.400 --> 0:02:34.880 Fuck because you remember the Newport ads always doing very 0:02:34.919 --> 0:02:40.799 athletic things. That's true. Yeah. It was like a cigarette 0:02:40.800 --> 0:02:46.840 that you could, like you could play football with. Yeah, 0:02:46.919 --> 0:02:49.320 you could cave a man's chest in and then have 0:02:49.400 --> 0:02:53.120 a nice cigarette. Yeah. Yeah. It was always for like 0:02:53.320 --> 0:02:57.680 the black on the go, a strong cigarette. Oh fuck man, 0:02:58.040 --> 0:03:01.200 And I'm goddamn I got a warm Uncle's too, Like 0:03:02.720 --> 0:03:05.520 you have grown too far. I mean, I'm surprised they 0:03:05.600 --> 0:03:08.280 might strike me down from talking about this on the podcast. 0:03:08.760 --> 0:03:12.839 Get that big well. I pray to God our our 0:03:12.880 --> 0:03:16.880 guests today has has some kind of information that can 0:03:16.919 --> 0:03:19.639 comfort us inside of this. I don't know that anybody 0:03:19.680 --> 0:03:23.440 could but if anybody could, it's him. He's so fucking funny, 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:26.880 one of my favorite guests that we've ever had the 0:03:26.919 --> 0:03:30.200 pleasure of talking to. Truly hilarious. You know him from 0:03:30.240 --> 0:03:35.120 as a writer and actor, comedian extraordinaire, but more specifically 0:03:35.160 --> 0:03:39.600 you know than on March third season two of Grand Crew, 0:03:39.640 --> 0:03:42.960 a show he stars in, and it's phenomenal in he's 0:03:43.000 --> 0:03:45.760 so funny. Give it up for our guests, mister Carl Tarts. 0:03:45.920 --> 0:03:50.400 My god, my guys, I do have a little bit 0:03:50.440 --> 0:03:55.040 that can ease you. Cigarettes. Here we go. So one 0:03:55.080 --> 0:03:58.800 time I was there, there are two you know, they 0:03:58.920 --> 0:04:02.160 make two ads. There is a Newport ad in white 0:04:02.200 --> 0:04:06.440 magazines and Newport ad in black magazine. Right, here's the 0:04:06.440 --> 0:04:09.760 crazy part. The people are doing the exact same pose. 0:04:10.880 --> 0:04:14.760 So they didn't even I've seen this. It was like 0:04:16.640 --> 0:04:19.119 in a Jet magazine a couple on the beach walking 0:04:19.160 --> 0:04:23.440 down and they're like, you're not doing that with a cigarette. Yeah, 0:04:23.480 --> 0:04:26.599 And then you see in like in like Cosmo, it's 0:04:26.640 --> 0:04:29.400 the same exact pose walking on the beach and the 0:04:29.400 --> 0:04:32.320 white ladies like it's so they're trying to kill white 0:04:32.320 --> 0:04:36.799 people too. That's that's diabolical. So it's less it's less 0:04:36.839 --> 0:04:41.840 of an intentional well a singular attack, and more like 0:04:42.000 --> 0:04:46.280 a separate mall santas. Yeah. Yeah, here's my question, who said? 0:04:46.480 --> 0:04:50.719 Who set the template? Though? Brother? Are they telling the 0:04:50.839 --> 0:04:53.840 white couple that you didn't the brother had his arms 0:04:53.920 --> 0:04:56.400 like this? Or are they telling the black couple that 0:04:56.480 --> 0:04:59.760 the white lady had a net cock? This exactly as 0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:09.560 I'm looking back. Keep keep an arm cook. Fuck, this 0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:12.240 is heavy, this is this is heavy shit. No, I'm 0:05:12.279 --> 0:05:14.960 not playing around because it's like I mean, I would 0:05:15.000 --> 0:05:16.800 go so far as to say, you never had like 0:05:16.920 --> 0:05:19.279 on a hot day in Newport, fresh out of the freezer. 0:05:19.520 --> 0:05:23.440 It's like a sponge streak. I don't. I've never smoked 0:05:23.480 --> 0:05:26.839 a cigarette in my life, and certainly I wasn't freezing them. 0:05:27.640 --> 0:05:32.760 They don't freeze you, ned. I didn't even know that 0:05:32.880 --> 0:05:37.360 was an option. My grandmother smoked pall mall reds for 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:41.840 fifty years before a throat uh exploded with cancer and 0:05:42.080 --> 0:05:45.320 uh and never once was she like, baby, put one 0:05:45.360 --> 0:05:47.000 of them, put one of them packs in the in 0:05:47.040 --> 0:05:49.520 the freezer. Well they weren't mental. It doesn't cool him 0:05:49.520 --> 0:05:52.960 down like that. They did my my uh, my auntie 0:05:52.960 --> 0:05:56.400 and my Grandma smoked cane, cooked kane, cool filter King, 0:05:57.880 --> 0:05:59.520 and they would put him in the fridge to keep 0:05:59.560 --> 0:06:03.120 them friend because they were buying by the by the 0:06:03.200 --> 0:06:06.120 case or the car. Because they were buying such such 0:06:06.240 --> 0:06:10.200 grand loads of King Kools and door Ols too. They 0:06:10.200 --> 0:06:17.760 were smoked door around. That's a smooth finish. We can't 0:06:17.800 --> 0:06:22.040 talk cigarettes all day. Although Bory I think would make 0:06:22.080 --> 0:06:27.760 this a cigarette podcast. No, I'm just saying I've been 0:06:28.040 --> 0:06:32.679 I've tasted the delights. You tasted all of all the ships. 0:06:33.880 --> 0:06:37.560 If it's a menthal, I've had a fresh out freeze. Wow. Well, 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:41.719 we can't make this a a cigarette podcast because Carl 0:06:41.839 --> 0:06:45.360 you came to us with the conspiracy theory that that. 0:06:45.720 --> 0:06:49.000 When I read it, I was like, I, what the 0:06:49.080 --> 0:06:52.560 fuck is this what? I've never heard of this before 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:55.600 in my life. I was furious. I slammed my hand 0:06:55.720 --> 0:06:58.800 on the desk and I said, this man doesn't respect us. 0:06:58.800 --> 0:07:01.800 If this is the kind of foolery that he's bringing 0:07:01.839 --> 0:07:04.159 to our community, he doesn't even think this is a 0:07:04.200 --> 0:07:07.799 real podcast. And then Olivia was like, hey man, calm down, 0:07:08.240 --> 0:07:12.360 here's what he's talking about, and it it. My mind 0:07:12.520 --> 0:07:26.920 was blown. You said my mama told me turtles are racist. Yeah, 0:07:26.960 --> 0:07:32.360 I just felt right, I don't know are racist. Now 0:07:32.440 --> 0:07:36.200 I've seen a video of a man with a shoe 0:07:36.240 --> 0:07:40.120 on and on the side of his shoe. Remember it's 0:07:40.160 --> 0:07:44.040 important is wearing this is that? This is what kind 0:07:44.040 --> 0:07:46.520 of is the is the what is that called the 0:07:46.600 --> 0:07:49.960 hypothesis or like this is the the study the case study? 0:07:50.040 --> 0:07:53.000 This is Yeah, I forgot what. Remember we used to 0:07:53.040 --> 0:07:55.720 have to do uh science projects in elementary school and 0:07:55.760 --> 0:07:58.800 we would get like the folding board. Yeah, you're talking 0:07:58.800 --> 0:08:01.160 to you're talking to like a it's time volcano man. 0:08:01.280 --> 0:08:04.760 So I was I went to a lot of different schools. 0:08:04.760 --> 0:08:07.760 You could just do the volcano again. I used to 0:08:07.840 --> 0:08:09.640 go all out for them ships. Me and my dad 0:08:09.680 --> 0:08:13.160 made pickles one year and like did the science of 0:08:13.280 --> 0:08:15.920 pickles and ship operative word being dad, I was in 0:08:15.960 --> 0:08:21.040 the house. I was the kid that that would ask 0:08:21.120 --> 0:08:23.480 his mom the night before his dude men, like, can 0:08:23.560 --> 0:08:28.200 we go to the Dallas get a posted board? Well, 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:30.360 and and I'm to the hard part of volcanoes. Here's 0:08:30.360 --> 0:08:32.000 the thing. You could go to TJ Max and get 0:08:32.000 --> 0:08:34.640 a volcano. They had him in the toy section because 0:08:34.640 --> 0:08:38.719 remember TJ Max had terrible toys. Yeah, it was all scientific. 0:08:38.800 --> 0:08:40.800 You could always there was always a volcano on this 0:08:41.120 --> 0:08:43.240 right now, Any TJ Max you go to, there's that's 0:08:43.760 --> 0:08:46.440 that's corporate. That's a corporate. That's a corporate. Man date 0:08:46.840 --> 0:08:51.840 their toys feel like the Island of Misfit Toys was like, hey, chill, yeah, 0:08:52.520 --> 0:08:56.640 we're misfits not not whatever that they got. They got 0:08:56.679 --> 0:09:00.280 flash cards in like some biscotti. That's the toy. It's 0:09:00.360 --> 0:09:03.600 real bad. It's just those sticky hands. Let you throw 0:09:03.679 --> 0:09:08.040 against the wall and they fall down. Uh. So, the 0:09:08.040 --> 0:09:10.440 guy's wearing the shoe. On the side of the shoe, 0:09:10.720 --> 0:09:12.720 he's got white tape on the side of his brown 0:09:13.440 --> 0:09:17.000 like dress shoe. That's right, it's got white tape with 0:09:17.040 --> 0:09:19.199 the white tape. The turtle walks up to the shoe, 0:09:19.920 --> 0:09:22.600 does not have a reaction to it at all. He 0:09:22.800 --> 0:09:25.800 rips off the white tape and there's black tape under 0:09:25.840 --> 0:09:29.320 the white tape, and the turtle starts to ram the shoe. 0:09:29.800 --> 0:09:32.439 Is this a white man? This is a white I 0:09:32.440 --> 0:09:34.000 don't know who the guy was. He just saw his 0:09:34.080 --> 0:09:37.920 legs a white man. The turtle just starts to ram 0:09:37.920 --> 0:09:40.560 the shoe when he sees the black tape. Then he 0:09:40.600 --> 0:09:43.040 takes off the white the black tape and it's just 0:09:43.080 --> 0:09:46.760 the brown shoe, and the turtle continues to ram the shoe. 0:09:47.320 --> 0:09:50.839 I've never seen a turtle behave this way. That's that's 0:09:50.880 --> 0:09:54.960 what blew my mind when when I watched it, because 0:09:55.040 --> 0:09:57.320 like I was like, oh, the turtle probably just like 0:09:57.480 --> 0:09:59.800 nipped at it a little bit and then walks away. 0:10:00.120 --> 0:10:04.280 This turtle is losing its fucking mind. It like truly, 0:10:04.320 --> 0:10:07.920 it looks like it's in in like fucking Friday night 0:10:08.040 --> 0:10:10.480 lights and a mean dad is gonna beat it if 0:10:10.520 --> 0:10:14.079 it doesn't run through that wall type shit, Like it's 0:10:14.160 --> 0:10:17.680 going crazy on this goddamn shoe. Yeah, I was trying 0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:19.120 to hit this slid. The turtle is definitely trying to 0:10:19.160 --> 0:10:22.880 hit the slib. It makes me feel like this it's 0:10:23.360 --> 0:10:25.560 because I don't want to put this on. When I 0:10:25.600 --> 0:10:29.400 watched the video, it makes me feel it makes put 0:10:30.040 --> 0:10:32.640 all on turtles. Is that what you're It makes me 0:10:32.640 --> 0:10:34.959 feel like this is this happened to this one turtle 0:10:35.800 --> 0:10:41.400 Like he ross whatever and that I don't think. I 0:10:41.440 --> 0:10:44.840 think he's hit with the ferocity That makes me feel 0:10:45.160 --> 0:10:49.640 like there was a specificity to him. And so if 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:52.320 I'm hearing you correctly. This isn't so much not all 0:10:52.400 --> 0:10:58.000 turtles as it is like his rage feels especially rage 0:10:58.080 --> 0:11:01.080 full compared to every other turtle. I want to start 0:11:01.080 --> 0:11:04.679 by saying all turtles matter. I was about to say 0:11:04.679 --> 0:11:07.880 boys shooting him bail over that turtle supremacy, internal life 0:11:07.920 --> 0:11:11.800 turtle supremacy. But yeah, I think it was just this 0:11:11.840 --> 0:11:14.959 turtle had been trained. I don't because I love turtles, man. 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:17.320 I just I communed with the turtle in the sea 0:11:17.360 --> 0:11:21.559 in Hawaii not three months ago. Yeah, and he almost 0:11:21.600 --> 0:11:23.679 drowned you, didn't he It was one of them trying 0:11:23.720 --> 0:11:25.760 to drown you. It was one of the most incredible 0:11:25.760 --> 0:11:28.319 experiences in my life. You know who the turtle didn't 0:11:28.360 --> 0:11:31.200 like the white lady who asked if I was wearing 0:11:31.240 --> 0:11:34.640 a cool running shirt here? Like yeah, okay, But here's 0:11:34.640 --> 0:11:38.160 what I'll say is everybody likes a rich white man 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:40.480 when you're in the owner's box, you know what I mean, 0:11:40.559 --> 0:11:43.559 Like you were sitting in the fucking box with the 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:48.280 turtle you're Hawaiian beaches. Yeah, this motherfucker's probably coolest shit. 0:11:48.640 --> 0:11:51.439 Now take him to like a fucking alley in Chicago 0:11:51.559 --> 0:11:53.599 and see how he behaves. Why would be in the 0:11:53.679 --> 0:11:56.839 alley in Chicago. I don't know, But that's that's his 0:11:57.000 --> 0:12:01.440 real that's what's in his heart. That's man. Listen. I 0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:05.400 think he saw a like minded individual. I've always I've 0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:08.240 always told the kinship with Turtles. I've been like, oh, 0:12:08.280 --> 0:12:11.280 you guys just cruise around all day, no job, just floating. Yeah, 0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:14.040 I get it, Yeah, I get it. Like I don't 0:12:14.040 --> 0:12:16.760 want to. It hurts. I mean I do think I 0:12:16.840 --> 0:12:20.400 look at culturally, do I think Turtles have been black? No, 0:12:20.480 --> 0:12:24.000 the teenage mutant Ninja Turtles decidedly not black. Not with 0:12:24.040 --> 0:12:32.720 those Italian names. No, and not with the Cowabunga dudes. Yeah. Yeah, 0:12:33.520 --> 0:12:36.559 there a lot of Cowabunga dudes. And they only ate pizza. 0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:39.840 It was you know, black families love pizza. But we 0:12:39.920 --> 0:12:42.320 got we had other stuff going on. Yeah, we never 0:12:42.400 --> 0:12:51.800 had like shrimp alfredo. Yeah, the black people's Italian dishes. Yeah, 0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:56.080 mostly shrimps. But we can all make it. Raise your 0:12:56.120 --> 0:13:00.240 hand if you can't make shrimp alfredo. Come home from work, girl, 0:13:00.280 --> 0:13:04.360 that made your dinner Valentine's Day. Ain't no alfredo sauce 0:13:04.400 --> 0:13:07.600 in the store, No, no, no, you put it, you 0:13:07.640 --> 0:13:09.680 put a steak with it. It's all the same color. 0:13:09.800 --> 0:13:13.000 Oh come on, man, Yeah, you're you're getting Voca sauce 0:13:13.040 --> 0:13:16.600 if you wait until Valentine's Day. Got to stock up 0:13:16.640 --> 0:13:20.760 on your alfredo before February twelfth. You're trying to find 0:13:20.760 --> 0:13:23.360 a tickle me Elmo in nineteen ninety eight. You better 0:13:23.400 --> 0:13:28.320 cut it out, all right. So Carl, you watch this video. 0:13:28.559 --> 0:13:33.040 You see this turtle attack this man's uh shoe? You 0:13:33.200 --> 0:13:36.760 are you immediately like racism. We gotta shut down all 0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:39.880 turtles who did it? Was any Was that it for you? 0:13:40.000 --> 0:13:42.200 Or did more? Push you over the edge? More push 0:13:42.240 --> 0:13:44.079 me over the edge, Because then I started seeing facts 0:13:44.120 --> 0:13:49.600 about turtles that lived for two hundred years. So, y'all 0:13:49.960 --> 0:13:52.560 sauce slavery and you didn't do anything. You just went 0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:56.280 back into your shell and let it happen. Wait, you're 0:13:56.280 --> 0:13:59.600 blaming turtles for letting slavery happen. Listen, all I'm saying 0:13:59.640 --> 0:14:01.520 is where I'm from, we got a lot of water 0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:04.800 the Gulf coast in Mississippi. We got a lot of 0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:09.080 water down there Louisiana the swamps to buy us everything. 0:14:09.840 --> 0:14:13.000 And it's a lot of turtles around. They had a 0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:15.600 chance they had it, they could have risen up. Damn, 0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:19.000 you could have come out the fucking swamps and like 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:23.360 been another angle of attack civil rights. Have you seen 0:14:23.440 --> 0:14:27.200 a turtle stand up for anything? No? Yeah, And that's 0:14:27.240 --> 0:14:33.880 the problem because neutray is siding with the oppressive. You have. 0:14:34.280 --> 0:14:38.840 You are taking a very hard stand pro you're not 0:14:38.880 --> 0:14:42.760 even considering the possibility that these motherfuckers are are on 0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:44.960 the bad side. They could have rammed a lot of 0:14:45.000 --> 0:14:50.440 slave masters ankle. Yeah. See, I don't think girls making 0:14:50.480 --> 0:14:53.520 solid points and you keep being like, yeah, stood up 0:14:53.520 --> 0:14:57.480 for racism during slavery. It wasn't just turtles. Where were 0:14:57.480 --> 0:15:00.120 the horses at We're gonna start with the turtles, the 0:15:00.160 --> 0:15:06.920 ones we saw the leader road mass around in the field. 0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:09.200 You think he was walking. He was on a bitch 0:15:09.240 --> 0:15:11.480 ass horse. If we had a problem with an animal, 0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:13.240 I just don't think a turtle is where we need 0:15:13.240 --> 0:15:18.120 to stay. I think where where I where? I hear you, Yes, 0:15:18.240 --> 0:15:25.760 there were animals that were much more directly complicit. Beat pigs. 0:15:25.800 --> 0:15:28.120 Watch the whole ship, and they as smart as we are. 0:15:28.800 --> 0:15:31.000 But listen that first of all, that's not that's what 0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:34.960 they say. Look up, here's the other thing. Here's the 0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:38.360 other thing I'll say to you is, yes, some of 0:15:38.400 --> 0:15:41.520 these other animals could have done something, but not all 0:15:41.520 --> 0:15:45.200 of them were nearly as free as turtles were. Horses 0:15:45.200 --> 0:15:48.760 were are slaves of their own form, Pigs are slaves. 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:53.280 Turtles are loose. They could have done something, and they're 0:15:53.280 --> 0:15:55.720 as smart as we are. If you read this, I 0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:59.640 don't think but you made one up, I'm gonna make 0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:06.440 one gonna the motherfuckers didn't make get out, Shut up. 0:16:06.480 --> 0:16:10.240 They're not that damn smart. Ain't that smart? Nothing that 0:16:10.320 --> 0:16:13.680 tastes that good as smart? Now, No, I think that 0:16:13.680 --> 0:16:16.280 there's a lot of Instagram bitches that would taste delicious, 0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:19.760 and they're very smarty. That's there. I can't argue with 0:16:20.760 --> 0:16:26.840 YEA points a point I don't, so you're saying that, Carl. 0:16:27.320 --> 0:16:31.080 Either way, they saw something. They've survived all this time. 0:16:31.520 --> 0:16:34.960 Their racism almost has to be cooked into the foundation 0:16:35.160 --> 0:16:38.760 of what they are, Yea, and within straws that they 0:16:38.800 --> 0:16:45.240 knows it's Norton coke. They are good dancers. Here's the thing, 0:16:46.080 --> 0:16:49.440 because they're also are you any is anyone on this 0:16:49.520 --> 0:16:54.240 panel afraid of a turtle? Uh? I wouldn't want a 0:16:54.240 --> 0:16:56.640 whole one. I remember one time a turtle got into 0:16:56.640 --> 0:17:00.440 your mo into my auntie's yard, and our neighbor, his 0:17:00.560 --> 0:17:03.920 name is Red. He he took the turtle like we 0:17:04.040 --> 0:17:06.800 walked it back down to the creek, and he like 0:17:07.680 --> 0:17:09.840 like held it the whole time and like turned it 0:17:09.880 --> 0:17:13.400 over and like chased it's it's like wrinkled. I guess 0:17:13.400 --> 0:17:15.440 he could tell how old it was from something like that. 0:17:15.800 --> 0:17:17.280 I don't know. And then he like tossed it. But 0:17:17.320 --> 0:17:20.359 I'll never forget this. This was like summer of ninety six, 0:17:21.000 --> 0:17:25.440 and like I remember watching I remember like, yeah, some 0:17:25.720 --> 0:17:30.440 ninety six watching part ridings every day, and Red walked 0:17:30.440 --> 0:17:33.160 his turtle down to to like the creek and threw 0:17:33.160 --> 0:17:35.639 it back in the water. And I was just like, man, 0:17:36.119 --> 0:17:40.240 it's a nasty animal. I don't like reptiles. Though, I 0:17:40.320 --> 0:17:43.640 thought something crazy was about to happen. But you just 0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:47.080 watched him throat and you're like, yeah, I was really 0:17:47.119 --> 0:17:50.360 on the entered my seat like and then and then 0:17:50.400 --> 0:17:56.520 the turtle eight part of red Finger. Yeah, but truly 0:17:56.560 --> 0:17:59.440 nothing happened. Na, nothing happened. You're just like that motherfucking 0:17:59.520 --> 0:18:01.960 nasty Yeah. I think he just went through the ditch 0:18:02.280 --> 0:18:11.560 and I don't know that I'm afraid of like the 0:18:11.600 --> 0:18:14.359 average turtle, but us I don't know if you've seen 0:18:14.480 --> 0:18:17.959 videos of like what snapping turtles can do. Them motherfuckers 0:18:17.960 --> 0:18:21.920 are terrifying. Yeah. They and they the quickness at which 0:18:21.960 --> 0:18:24.919 they're able to like break a fucking femur just in 0:18:25.080 --> 0:18:28.360 one bite. Yeah, I'm real scared of it. Snapping turtles 0:18:28.359 --> 0:18:32.280 weren't the ones watching slavery, though, I think snapping turtles 0:18:32.320 --> 0:18:37.720 might be the black ones. I think I snapping Turla video, 0:18:38.640 --> 0:18:48.760 look at him, I'll snapping Turler. Oh man, I haven't 0:18:48.800 --> 0:18:51.240 seen that video, but boy do I want that drop now. 0:18:51.480 --> 0:19:02.120 I'd love a snapping turlock. Wow, that's so funny. Listen, man, 0:19:02.280 --> 0:19:04.679 I mean I know that you did research and we 0:19:04.720 --> 0:19:07.000 want to hear it. I'm just not here for I 0:19:07.119 --> 0:19:11.359 like turtles. Yeah, what do you like about him? Like 0:19:11.640 --> 0:19:14.719 some animals? Okay, this is just man. I'm gonna tell 0:19:14.720 --> 0:19:17.159 you the truth. I've been to the aquarium. What's that 0:19:17.400 --> 0:19:20.960 aquarium in Kentucky across the river from Cincinnati, the big 0:19:21.000 --> 0:19:23.440 one I was in that I was I was doing 0:19:23.480 --> 0:19:26.560 go bananas. I was in that aquarium pretty high man, 0:19:26.920 --> 0:19:29.239 And just like you know, sometimes you look at an 0:19:29.240 --> 0:19:31.560 animal and you're like, I get what you're doing, and 0:19:31.600 --> 0:19:33.920 he's like, I get you're doing. That's how I felt. 0:19:34.000 --> 0:19:36.119 That's how I felt with sea turtles. You felt a 0:19:36.160 --> 0:19:38.760 bond with the sea turtles and no other I don't 0:19:38.760 --> 0:19:40.880 feel that way about horses. I don't. I don't even 0:19:40.920 --> 0:19:44.960 like animals, to be completely honest, Like, fine, that that's 0:19:45.000 --> 0:19:46.760 interesting to me that you say you don't really like animals, like, 0:19:46.800 --> 0:19:48.080 because that's what I was about to say. What I said, 0:19:48.080 --> 0:19:49.960 I'm I get canceled. I'm not a big animal guy, 0:19:50.160 --> 0:19:52.040 but you hear the people get so mad. I don't 0:19:52.040 --> 0:19:54.760 give a shit. Yeah, if I'm gonna pick an animal 0:19:54.800 --> 0:19:56.639 to like, it ain't gonna be a damn turtle or 0:19:56.680 --> 0:20:00.280 any type of reptile. That's what I turtle. You don't 0:20:00.280 --> 0:20:02.160 even hang out. We don't even we see each other 0:20:02.200 --> 0:20:04.680 once every six six years. You know what I'm saying. Well, 0:20:04.680 --> 0:20:07.160 that's why what I was gonna say is I actually 0:20:07.240 --> 0:20:10.040 think what you're who you're defending might have had the 0:20:10.080 --> 0:20:13.679 real chance for the argument you're making about not having 0:20:13.720 --> 0:20:17.640 seen anything. Sea turtles are legit under the water all 0:20:17.680 --> 0:20:20.200 the time. They're just I'm talking about I'm talking about 0:20:20.240 --> 0:20:24.480 tortoises and terrapins you're talking about, Yeah, I'm talking about 0:20:24.520 --> 0:20:27.879 the motherfuckers that are like hanging out on land watching 0:20:28.119 --> 0:20:32.000 teenage mu shit happened? Yeah, those motherfuckers are are the 0:20:32.040 --> 0:20:35.320 complicit ones. So I'll let you have your sea turtles. 0:20:36.240 --> 0:20:38.679 Not my sea turtles are for the world. But there 0:20:43.560 --> 0:20:51.240 even these land turtles. What a stop sleeping. I'm just saying, 0:20:51.400 --> 0:20:53.840 here you go. I tried to give you. I tried 0:20:53.840 --> 0:20:58.000 to give you the white legs, and now you're like, 0:20:58.160 --> 0:21:02.440 but but I also want to try a little slow. 0:21:02.920 --> 0:21:07.920 They're little in slow man, all right, that's I feel 0:21:07.920 --> 0:21:10.160 like they put turtles at the front line based off 0:21:10.160 --> 0:21:13.640 the research Carl's already presenting to us. That's not research. 0:21:14.520 --> 0:21:16.920 I don't know. I just I like the way to 0:21:17.000 --> 0:21:21.800 man talk. I studied this at the University of Kentucky. 0:21:24.200 --> 0:21:25.920 All Right, we're gonna take a break. We'll be back 0:21:25.960 --> 0:21:28.320 with more Carl Tard and more. My mama told me 0:21:39.320 --> 0:21:43.919 a little good, little good, and you sing good and 0:21:44.040 --> 0:21:59.080 make love good. Oh wow, why that lady? Why is 0:21:59.119 --> 0:22:10.240 that lady? That's that's you? Said James Brown, Right, James, 0:22:11.920 --> 0:22:14.960 he did the man was the man with something else. 0:22:19.119 --> 0:22:22.840 We're still we're still talking about the possibility that that 0:22:22.920 --> 0:22:26.679 turtles are racist. H Carl seems very much on the 0:22:26.760 --> 0:22:31.160 pro and David is denying it with all of his heart. 0:22:31.240 --> 0:22:38.160 He not He's rejecting every single uh moment of what 0:22:38.240 --> 0:22:41.400 Carl's presenting to us. And so maybe the best way 0:22:41.440 --> 0:22:44.560 for us to potentially resolve this is to get into 0:22:44.640 --> 0:22:48.399 some research. Let's let's unpack some research together. To the 0:22:48.440 --> 0:22:50.520 point that you were making about that one video, I 0:22:50.560 --> 0:22:55.439 actually Carl came across a number of videos of that 0:22:55.600 --> 0:23:00.480 exact same tortoise attacking other black shoes on him, completely 0:23:00.520 --> 0:23:05.159 different days and time, the same white, same one. I 0:23:05.160 --> 0:23:08.719 will admit it's the same one. But but they so 0:23:08.840 --> 0:23:11.320 much so that this they even at one point set 0:23:11.400 --> 0:23:15.280 up a shoe maze of all white shoes. They create 0:23:15.359 --> 0:23:18.440 this elaborate maze for the turtle to walk itself through. 0:23:18.800 --> 0:23:21.000 It never attacks anything. And then at the end of 0:23:21.000 --> 0:23:26.679 that they put one black shoe right at the end 0:23:26.680 --> 0:23:29.879 of it, and it like ran and beat the fuck 0:23:29.960 --> 0:23:40.440 out of that shoe. That is hilarious. It just curb 0:23:40.560 --> 0:23:44.880 stopped a fucking shoe at the end of amaze. So 0:23:44.960 --> 0:23:47.680 it might just be this one like this this one turtle, 0:23:49.320 --> 0:23:52.200 let's see. You know, I've never once said that all 0:23:52.359 --> 0:23:57.560 white people are racist, but these turtles that saw these things, 0:23:57.600 --> 0:24:00.399 they didn't do anything. If you are neutral, you are 0:24:00.480 --> 0:24:05.919 siding with the oppressive turtle. Wait so wait, I have 0:24:06.040 --> 0:24:08.800 so many questions. Where is this one turtle? Is this 0:24:08.880 --> 0:24:12.760 a Florida turtle? It's some dude's turtle who like is 0:24:12.760 --> 0:24:16.440 a TikTok man And so it's a little weird, you 0:24:16.520 --> 0:24:17.960 know what I mean. It's one of those things where 0:24:17.960 --> 0:24:20.600 it's like, where do do does anybody on TikTok live? 0:24:21.040 --> 0:24:24.560 They don't. They don't really this, yeah exactly. It's like, 0:24:24.600 --> 0:24:27.280 oh they're they're in Florida, they're like living with three 0:24:27.320 --> 0:24:32.960 teenagers and a suburb of California. Are turtles smart enough 0:24:34.119 --> 0:24:39.000 to betrayed? Uh? I don't know of any like well 0:24:39.119 --> 0:24:43.000 trained turtles. I think. I think people keep turtles as 0:24:43.000 --> 0:24:46.040 pets because they can't do much. So it's like, what 0:24:46.119 --> 0:24:48.240 do you You're not you don't know what, you don't 0:24:48.240 --> 0:24:53.520 know what you're doing, but you can't go nowhere. Yeah, 0:24:53.560 --> 0:24:55.760 you don't need And that's my thing. I don't think 0:24:55.920 --> 0:24:58.600 can any reptile be trained, like, I don't think you 0:24:58.600 --> 0:25:02.880 can't reptile be loved. No, I don't see people who 0:25:02.960 --> 0:25:05.480 people who have snakes. And if you if you're listening 0:25:05.520 --> 0:25:08.080 to this and you got a snake, be prepared to 0:25:08.080 --> 0:25:13.960 be offended. But trigger warning. Keep it internal though, I 0:25:13.960 --> 0:25:16.600 don't need to hear about it. Yeah, talk with your 0:25:16.600 --> 0:25:21.119 mother about it. Say that, dude just dis me my 0:25:21.880 --> 0:25:24.159 and I am mad about it, but I don't need 0:25:24.200 --> 0:25:28.280 to hear about it. I just I don't understand people 0:25:28.280 --> 0:25:31.959 who like to have reptiles as pets. Don't keep going. 0:25:32.480 --> 0:25:36.120 I'll say this, I actually think I think I'd love 0:25:36.160 --> 0:25:38.480 a turtle as a pet. Because it's because you're a 0:25:38.560 --> 0:25:41.520 super villain. Yeah, I'm not a good guy, but you 0:25:41.640 --> 0:25:44.480 want to be. You are, Like, you're the craziest guy 0:25:44.520 --> 0:25:47.600 I know, because you're like I think your core is bad, 0:25:47.880 --> 0:25:51.520 but everything surrounding is good. So you had to, like 0:25:52.200 --> 0:25:55.320 you had to adapt to the good despite your core 0:25:55.520 --> 0:25:59.360 wanting to be bad. And then that bad core that's 0:25:59.400 --> 0:26:02.440 what wants to up tile. No, I'm ready to light 0:26:02.480 --> 0:26:05.640 a match at any point, man. It's just truly, that's 0:26:05.640 --> 0:26:07.800 where I'm at at all times. So you're probably right 0:26:07.840 --> 0:26:10.320 about that. But I yeah, turtle seems nice. Say just 0:26:10.480 --> 0:26:12.400