Speaker 1: Forever. Hey everybody, I just know you're gonna come see
Speaker 1: my show. Have you heard of Christmas at the Duplex?
Speaker 1: This is Matt by the way, And there's still tickets
Speaker 1: available for Saturday December and Saturday December twenty two, so
Speaker 1: please come. You can get tickets to Purple Past dot com.
Speaker 1: I would be very very grateful to see you guys there.
Speaker 1: And if you can't come, you have to give me
Speaker 1: a gift. I like everly and stuff. Bye, Luke man, Oh,
Speaker 1: I see you? Why why? And look over there? How
Speaker 1: is that nult? Yes? Goodness, let's calls. I don't condone
Speaker 1: this fandom sick treatment all of you. Yes, dude though,
Speaker 1: all right, so you know what. I guess we're back.
Speaker 1: I know. Wait, I actually have an um. I actually
Speaker 1: have to announce something that's actually gonna be interesting to
Speaker 1: you guys. All he has and how some of it's
Speaker 1: actually going to be interesting to us? So up the ears.
Speaker 1: I literally found my phone literally so right my cuts
Speaker 1: and texted me, do you like Jane Austen? We don't
Speaker 1: have that relationship. Can you respond? Can you actually respond? Why?
Speaker 1: And I want to know what he says? Here's what
Speaker 1: I did choosed to say back, I said, for some okay,
Speaker 1: So I said, okay. She answered, but I said back,
Speaker 1: I said, I said, yeah, what I've read, I think
Speaker 1: just Emma and Pride and Predge and sense and sense
Speaker 1: a Bill, I can't believe you've read three of them.
Speaker 1: Autocract tried to change it to sensibility and I said, no,
Speaker 1: it's sensible. And then and I said, why two questions
Speaker 1: marks because she's sucking psycho And she said, for some reason,
Speaker 1: I associate you there. I didn't know if I imagined
Speaker 1: that she did imagine that, Um, you are very much
Speaker 1: like a Jane Austin protagonist. Absolutely, oh yeah, in a
Speaker 1: way that I can't say why. Because I like drama,
Speaker 1: because I like draw. I don't think that Jane Austin
Speaker 1: protagonists like drama. Do your Emma's and who lives for drama?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think Elizabeth Bennett was a
Speaker 1: messy bitch who lives for drama. Then you should know
Speaker 1: that I know actually nothing about her, despite writing my
Speaker 1: ape lit essay on this very book and getting a
Speaker 1: firm yes, decorum, decorum. Alright. People assume I'm literary because
Speaker 1: I don't use product and I rely on natural oils
Speaker 1: for my hair. That reason. People think that means I'm
Speaker 1: an author. That's what I found, Like one of the
Speaker 1: main things about me is the amount of product in
Speaker 1: my hair, and so I wonder what that makes people
Speaker 1: think about me. And I'm very scared to know the
Speaker 1: answer to that. It means you're like on screen, you're hosting,
Speaker 1: you're for me. It's like I'm in a cottage writing
Speaker 1: a book and like a warm sweater next to a candle, right,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, it's very Jonathan Saffron um hot man
Speaker 1: who dated a movie star Michelle Williams, And I guess
Speaker 1: that is like very much our dynamic. Wait, because I'm
Speaker 1: the Michelle Williams of this night. Can I say something?
Speaker 1: We're in Brooklyn and I took the gig. Can I
Speaker 1: can I finally say something? All right, go ahead and
Speaker 1: say something. Semon said no and that was cool of them. Um,
Speaker 1: and actually whoever said no, I actually think it's hot um. Um,
Speaker 1: what do you have to say? Fine? Show Williams did
Speaker 1: amazing work in Dawson's Creek starts to end to get
Speaker 1: amazing mark every single day. And I also think we
Speaker 1: could have never had Michelle Williams if we didn't have
Speaker 1: Rene's alllwigger. And I think Renee all over the map
Speaker 1: paved the way. Renee's wigger paved the way for people
Speaker 1: with that bone structure. And I will say this, I
Speaker 1: will say this, we need a Renee's lagger comeback now, yesterday.
Speaker 1: And I don't want to hear it. I don't want
Speaker 1: to hear any criticism because Bridget Jones's diary is a
Speaker 1: slay and a half. And and if that person here
Speaker 1: said no, it says no, we don't. What then is
Speaker 1: going on here? David Mazzoni trying to steal the spotlight?
Speaker 1: The fuck? There's only perfectly good back row. That was
Speaker 1: not Renee. That was not Renee at all. That was
Speaker 1: Catherine Zada. That was That was a Catherine Zada move
Speaker 1: if I've ever seen one? Right? Wait, I love Renee?
Speaker 1: Do you love Catherine Zaida? I love Kevin. I don't
Speaker 1: love Catherine's Ada. How I can't go on? And I
Speaker 1: love like she's like relentlessly Broadway and her singing and
Speaker 1: she's like, oh she she doesn't even care. She's doing
Speaker 1: a warrible bitch. You know, when I think about Catherine's
Speaker 1: ada and my thought is like, yeah, she like got
Speaker 1: away with it well and I not famously okay, And
Speaker 1: I'm actually gonna odd Pat on this. Pat once said
Speaker 1: to me. Pat doesn't understand singing. He doesn't get the
Speaker 1: difference between like when Whitney Houston sings and when Britney
Speaker 1: Spears sings, like you think, respect that And that's why
Speaker 1: I got extra time on the S A T. S.
Speaker 1: And we had to go to and he had to
Speaker 1: go to the board of bed for that. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: had to go to the board of And my mom said,
Speaker 1: my son can't hear the difference between Whitney and Selena
Speaker 1: Gomez and he needs extra time on verbal Wait, oh
Speaker 1: my god, this is our new producer, Emma, producer Emma,
Speaker 1: and this is amazing. Can you show them that this
Speaker 1: this like fringe top? And yes, thank you, Emma. Emma
Speaker 1: always looks amazing. Emma always looks Amazing's ever Lane? That
Speaker 1: is ever Lane? That is? I don't think it is.
Speaker 1: She was actually the one who told me what ever
Speaker 1: Lane was. And she is the one I learned that
Speaker 1: I'm entitled to ever Lane clothes that I haven't received.
Speaker 1: Is did you not receive them. And I'm not trying
Speaker 1: to shade you. I swear to God, I'm not okay,
Speaker 1: all great because you didn't fill out the form. That's
Speaker 1: something I don't know because I can only read some emails,
Speaker 1: depending depending on if it feels like it's scary. Um,
Speaker 1: So if the subject and suggested I was going to
Speaker 1: have to send something back, there's a chance that I
Speaker 1: didn't read it. Can I say so? I will say
Speaker 1: right now. So of course you don't like Katherine Zaida
Speaker 1: because you're afraid of danger, and Katherine Zaida offers danger.
Speaker 1: It's actually real of culture number two. See what Katherine's
Speaker 1: Zaida offers dangers? See when it comes to Catherine Zaida,
Speaker 1: I actually feel really bad for people like you, because
Speaker 1: like you, because like because like you fell for it?
Speaker 1: What did I fall for something that the Oscar voters
Speaker 1: also fell for? You, stupid bitch? Like, like what did
Speaker 1: I fall for? Abject talent? Seek treatment? Stop? But thank
Speaker 1: you for creating a space for me to say, listen
Speaker 1: to my podcast. Listen. I think we've really come to
Speaker 1: a lot of um important points here. This has been
Speaker 1: an important discussion and exchange, but still a proposal, and
Speaker 1: it is coming, and it's coming, but first I think
Speaker 1: we should get started. And also, everyone raise your hand
Speaker 1: off your single like looking to get married tonight, somebody
Speaker 1: meet tonight, okay, okay? Can I say something. A lot
Speaker 1: of my a lot of my crushes in the audience
Speaker 1: that I think are hot didn't raise our hands and
Speaker 1: that isn't And I want to say, and I am
Speaker 1: talking to you in the front round, sorry, and I
Speaker 1: want to say I know though, I wait, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: is that whatever? It's harmless, it's fun. I'm sorry. His
Speaker 1: friend is saying he's married, okay, is marybody's open? Okay? Cool?
Speaker 1: And I want that is that that's gonna be our
Speaker 1: ours to discuss later, okay, can you stay out of it?
Speaker 1: And I want to say that my current primary crush
Speaker 1: is in this is in the area tonight on a
Speaker 1: date with someone else. What And that's okay? And that's okay,
Speaker 1: that's okay. I have no crushes on the agenda. You
Speaker 1: don't have any crushes. I have one second, one primary,
Speaker 1: two secondaries, and three tertiaries. I would say I have
Speaker 1: about seven hundred tertiary crushes and no one that I'm
Speaker 1: like staying up at night thinking about. So what I'll
Speaker 1: give you this advice, this treatment is you need to
Speaker 1: cultivate one of those tertiaries into a secondary to write
Speaker 1: stories about them in your head that make them Okay,
Speaker 1: we gotta you go to therapy like and that that's
Speaker 1: what my therapist advice is one of those tertiaries secondary primaries,
Speaker 1: and that's why I'm functional. And with that, let's move
Speaker 1: forward with more. I don't think so, honey is yeah? Alright?
Speaker 1: This next group is called get all the Good Juice. Well,
Speaker 1: please give it for Andy Ward, please give it up
Speaker 1: for any which, Please give it up for Chris Laker,
Speaker 1: please give it up Revegan Marrow, and give it up
Speaker 1: for my sister Silasium. Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, and welcome.
Speaker 1: Now I want to say to Andy Ward. Step to
Speaker 1: the mic, please, hey, hey, how are you? I'm doing great?
Speaker 1: I'm great too, And I want to know what are
Speaker 1: we doing a trouble? Are we doing a pre? Select
Speaker 1: the topic? We've got a pre I love that it's
Speaker 1: not a controversial kind of controversial. So if you can
Speaker 1: like contact your senator after that would be great. We
Speaker 1: all have Kirsten Jellabrand's number in our phones, right She
Speaker 1: text back, and that's why I love her. Um oh,
Speaker 1: she's my senator. Okay, here we go, Andy, Yes, here
Speaker 1: we go your I don't think so, honey, top. It's
Speaker 1: pret selected and it will begin now. I don't think
Speaker 1: so fucking Instagram ads, bitch, Okay, yes, alright, it's like
Speaker 1: I don't fucking get it. Um I um just like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm bombing U. No, So I what.
Speaker 1: I don't fucking think so Instagram ads because it's like
Speaker 1: I think they're listening to us, and I'm like, hello, bitch,
Speaker 1: I'm like sick of getting all these fucking fat pants
Speaker 1: and erect how this function? Uh pillars. I'm like, I
Speaker 1: don't think this is for me, honey, okay, this is
Speaker 1: I think you have the right seconds, the wrong guys.
Speaker 1: So I don't think so Instagram ads because I hate
Speaker 1: scrolling through Instagram. And then I'm like seeing Anthony's Instagram
Speaker 1: profile okay, and then that's just another fucking ads and
Speaker 1: I'm like, excuse me, uh, thank you Anthony Anthony for
Speaker 1: like being a person for etcetera, because now I need etcetera. Okay,
Speaker 1: five seconds, So I fucking I hate that's good, mad,
Speaker 1: thanks so much, anyone's I don't think so honey that
Speaker 1: Actually I have to say, you gave us a rule
Speaker 1: of culture. It's rule culture number ten. Anthony is an ad.
Speaker 1: He's an ad. Everyone, please welcome the stunning addiewhere. Oh boy,
Speaker 1: let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. What's the story.
Speaker 1: What's the story, what's happenings? Let me tell you the
Speaker 1: story is the story is I cyber Monday and Monday Monday.
Speaker 1: But but none of my ship came, even though I expedited.
Speaker 1: So you know what email customer service, I said, please
Speaker 1: refund me expedited, I know. And then I got this
Speaker 1: at northstron Rack about two hours ago, and I'm so happy.
Speaker 1: I asked for the story loom so good. Yes, stuff
Speaker 1: and it's actually real. Culture number seven. Let's get into
Speaker 1: your I don't think so honey. So of course as
Speaker 1: a bowl. Of course, there's a pre selected option. But
Speaker 1: I'm unfortunate. Hashtag pre for she for me. I love that.
Speaker 1: Here's addiewhere, riches. I don't think so honey, addie. Your
Speaker 1: time starts now. I don't think so honey. Oceans eight,
Speaker 1: what the fuck? Sorry? No, sorry, no, I'm sorry, I'm
Speaker 1: sorry honey, have you been super excited for an amazing
Speaker 1: heightst movie starring women all fucking summer long? Yes, honey,
Speaker 1: I was. I'm sorry, honey. Did you when you got
Speaker 1: to the movie theater where you like, Wow, this movie
Speaker 1: has no adversity. Well, it's almost as if these women,
Speaker 1: who are amazing actresses, were like just kind of dragged
Speaker 1: on a bad script that had no problem. There were
Speaker 1: no problems. There are absolutely no problems. There was one problem. Sorry,
Speaker 1: if this is Sportler spoiler alert, it's bad. Uh sorry.
Speaker 1: There was a moment where they're like, oh no, the necklace,
Speaker 1: you need a magnet, and then Rihanna is like, it's okay.
Speaker 1: I got a sister who is super good at tech
Speaker 1: even though she's a team and can just fix it
Speaker 1: on the subway. I got sucking. Any is a stupid movie. Also,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, and Hathway being the best
Speaker 1: part of the movie when you have all these other
Speaker 1: skirts write better lines for these actresses five seconds. Oh,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. I saw it twice, and
Speaker 1: we have to be honest about that. We have to
Speaker 1: be I said, it's just I don't think so, honey, honestly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: a movie that I didn't really like, but I would
Speaker 1: see again. Yeah, you're right, we wanted to like it
Speaker 1: more than it was good. Everyone please welcome Chris Lake
Speaker 1: her to them. Mike, Hello, Chris, Hey, how's it going.
Speaker 1: It's good, it's good. But I got a pre that
Speaker 1: I feel very strongly about. But I want to know
Speaker 1: what's in that fucking bowl. That's the thing, Chris. That's
Speaker 1: a thing, Chris. And you know what you can't have.
Speaker 1: You got a ball. We're going to the ball. Okay,
Speaker 1: So Chris Laker, your I don't think so, honey. Topic
Speaker 1: is Natalie Portman and your time starts Now, that's actually
Speaker 1: the one I was gonna do anyway, I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: Natalie Portman, you made the worst Star Wars movie. However, wise,
Speaker 1: why she personally did? What's that? She personally wrote that
Speaker 1: she was involved. She should have seen that ship and said,
Speaker 1: I can't be a part of this. I'm rich already.
Speaker 1: I was rich as a teenager. I don't need to
Speaker 1: ruin star Wards thirty seconds. I don't know a lot
Speaker 1: of movies she was in, but Black Swan, black Swan,
Speaker 1: I thought I didn't like but then my girlfriend convinced
Speaker 1: me that it was good seconds. But if I can't
Speaker 1: tell it's good, I got to be convinced it's good.
Speaker 1: And I like every movie I ever see five seconds,
Speaker 1: but nothing personally against her, because somebody here probably knows
Speaker 1: her due respect, But I still don't think so, Honey,
Speaker 1: Natalie Portman, that's what manute. I love it. We got
Speaker 1: the important part, which was those Star Wars movies were
Speaker 1: not good. Now I want to ask, does anyone here
Speaker 1: know Natalie Portman? You really do? Wow? What if she
Speaker 1: was like I do and came forth like Leanne rhymes herself,
Speaker 1: Oh foul, Chris Laker, thank you? And now? And then
Speaker 1: what if she proposed to Chris Laker? Oh my god.
Speaker 1: I just want to say that I thought Natalie was
Speaker 1: really good in that movie with um I don't say
Speaker 1: with Ashton Kutcher where they hooked out, but they were
Speaker 1: just friends and it got really complicated. I like that movie.
Speaker 1: I thought she was good. Well, I have to say
Speaker 1: we as we as a podcast do endorse that movie
Speaker 1: because it has our our uncle Guy Brandham in it.
Speaker 1: So I have to say I publicly endorsed snow Strings
Speaker 1: attached privately, I might like friends with benefits more. I
Speaker 1: think I like that one mar because Natalie's like a
Speaker 1: doctor and she's always like um, getting texts at work
Speaker 1: in her like lab coat, and that was fun for
Speaker 1: me as if aware. Great, all right, here we go,
Speaker 1: continuing with Irene Fagan Merrow, Irene. Oh, yes, hello, how
Speaker 1: are you hello? I'm so good, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for having me you were being here. Now listen, as
Speaker 1: you probably know by now, there's a multiple options as
Speaker 1: the trouball and there's also you know, there's pre selected.
Speaker 1: She's a pre selection and mainly because I was afraid
Speaker 1: that Ariana Grande is going to be in the bowl
Speaker 1: and like something I cannot risk she's in there. I
Speaker 1: can't risk it. She's in there anonymously as Ariana, and
Speaker 1: that might still happen. So think about that potential trouballers.
Speaker 1: But it sounds like we're not going to do that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I've got a whole thing plan. I got
Speaker 1: a lot to get off much thing. Here we go. Listen, Irene,
Speaker 1: you're I don't think so many time starts now, I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, straight man eating ass and thinking
Speaker 1: it makes them a fucking ally. I want to be clear,
Speaker 1: I am an ass eating stan, but it does not
Speaker 1: absolve you of your straight male sit honey. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. This coming after years of
Speaker 1: women being like, can you please, for the love of God,
Speaker 1: find my clit and lick it and they're just like, Okay, yeah, cool,
Speaker 1: I'll eat your butt. Are you fucking kidding me? And
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. This is another gorgeous example
Speaker 1: of men just just just refusing to listen to what
Speaker 1: women so clearly and directly ask of them, Like we're like, hey,
Speaker 1: what if you just stopped raping us at an alarming rate?
Speaker 1: And yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, cool, cool, cool, cool, listen
Speaker 1: to this, uh ladies night at the club. But when
Speaker 1: we get one free jello shots, huh igan merrow. Okay,
Speaker 1: we could get into a symposium right now on but
Speaker 1: eating and that would be helpful, and that would be helpful,
Speaker 1: but that'll be a top back after the show in
Speaker 1: the bar. Great, everyone, please welcome. So last Yeah, oh
Speaker 1: I love that. I love that. I love that piece.
Speaker 1: I love that piece. I love that piece. Thanks boys,
Speaker 1: I'm addicted to that piece. Addicted to the piece listen, Celeste. Yes,
Speaker 1: what I love about this night is it offers a choice, um,
Speaker 1: and one of the choices is the trollball, and the
Speaker 1: other choice that's offered is the of course pre selected
Speaker 1: by all fucking means take a Yeah, there's a stool,
Speaker 1: it's here. I'm not going to sit. Absolutely, I have
Speaker 1: a stall moment. Now tell us, pray tell because it
Speaker 1: also going to be pre select or it's not the bowl. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's not the ball. Or it's not the ball, it's
Speaker 1: not the bowl. Okay, then fine, Okay, it's the last him.
Speaker 1: Your topic is pre selected, and your time starts. Now.
Speaker 1: I do not think so, honey, anyone who just this
Speaker 1: year discovered that Asians are hot, we are. We didn't
Speaker 1: want you to know. We wanted you to think we
Speaker 1: had bad skin and small dicks because our mom's told
Speaker 1: us to keep the best things in life for ourselves.
Speaker 1: That's called strategy. I had to endure being lumped into
Speaker 1: people of color instead of people. Now I'm supposed to
Speaker 1: get it wet for a white guy who says aquafina
Speaker 1: is actually really pritty. Second, I know that. Now I'm
Speaker 1: like gonna get the gig. But Sandra Oh has taught
Speaker 1: me that being a sexual predator still makes you more
Speaker 1: likely to win an Academy award than being Korean. It's
Speaker 1: too much to ask that I would be rich, Asian
Speaker 1: and hot. Are you fucking kidding me? You'll deserve us. Okay,
Speaker 1: I got mistaken for Chloe Kitchen for Olympic gold medalists.
Speaker 1: If Asians were allowed to be ugly, still, Boean would
Speaker 1: be here tonight. And that's one minute, so last him.
Speaker 1: So last, Yeah, I'm god, thanks, thank you for saying
Speaker 1: his name. I missed him. Can I say that I
Speaker 1: love you? Okay? Everyone giving up for this group? Get
Speaker 1: all the good juice, Andy Ward anywhere, Rich, Chris Laker,
Speaker 1: I mean fake and Marrow and so let's yim. Now
Speaker 1: that was startling. That was I'm shaken. I'm shaken. You
Speaker 1: didn't say shook. I didn't say shook because that didn't
Speaker 1: fur it. But I was shaken by that whole thing
Speaker 1: that just happened. Just happened the whole group, honestly. So
Speaker 1: let's spoke Bowen's name. And I'm wondering, like, what's gonna happen?
Speaker 1: Are we gonna see Bowen show up? Bowen and Natalie
Speaker 1: walking hands and united and they're like, it's a united front.
Speaker 1: And also I cannot something about the guy who told
Speaker 1: me not to talk, because I'm like, does he hate me? Like?
Speaker 1: Can I get him to like me? The guy in
Speaker 1: the back, I know, I don't know about him. I'm
Speaker 1: only sure about like one person in the front row.
Speaker 1: I'm teasing you. Okay, he's just seas how many years
Speaker 1: I've had it on this way? Okay, okay. This next
Speaker 1: group is called the Duchess's Sussexes. Please welcome Lauren Magnusson,
Speaker 1: Please welcome, Katie Michaelson, Amanda schecked man like Patricious of us,
Speaker 1: Rachel Rosenthal and Katie Barry, each and everyone, the Duchesses
Speaker 1: of Sussexes. Wait, can I say one thing? The reason
Speaker 1: this is a group is because today and who wants
Speaker 1: to be a millionaire? Thanks? I do watch ABC during
Speaker 1: the daytime, as we know. Um. They the question was
Speaker 1: what is Kate when Kate melt it? What is Megan
Speaker 1: Markle's title? And the guy got it wrong. He guessed,
Speaker 1: he guessed the the Baroness of Bedminshire. Did he talk
Speaker 1: through it? He talked all the way through it. So
Speaker 1: he gave a shot. He talked through it as the
Speaker 1: loser on who wants to be a millionaire? I know
Speaker 1: that it's hard, it's true. Um anyway, uh, everyone please
Speaker 1: talk to the mic. Lauren Magnusen. Oh we asked for
Speaker 1: a look, and there's off look A wild look appeared.
Speaker 1: All right, here we go. So, Lauren, Hi, you have
Speaker 1: a phone in your hand with I would assume notes
Speaker 1: on it for a pre prepared on headlines, just headlines
Speaker 1: one word. I love that, Okay, so listen, it's a
Speaker 1: pre prepared topic. Yes here, Lauren your I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Time begins now. I don't think so, honey. Pepe will
Speaker 1: who pretend that the opening lines to the song Circle
Speaker 1: of Life aren't real words? Okay, we all love the
Speaker 1: Lion King, but it is not nostalgic and fontest butter
Speaker 1: out nonsense. It's embarrassing. Okay, we know that you don't
Speaker 1: speak Szulu. That is not give you permission to tell
Speaker 1: your head back and scream now and then a bunch
Speaker 1: of sounds that you made up in your head like
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. Okay, have some fucking respect. It's a
Speaker 1: real language and By the way, the translation is actually
Speaker 1: quite beautiful. By way, you wouldn't know that you've never
Speaker 1: given yourself a courtesy Google check. Have you bitch all right?
Speaker 1: You love to write it out to okay? You have
Speaker 1: an instagram of your friend holding out your feral calico
Speaker 1: mingo simba. No, you write out a caption that has
Speaker 1: an incoherent mix of vowels and continence in all caps.
Speaker 1: I don't think so. If you think that it's too
Speaker 1: much work to learn more than Hakuna Matata in one movie,
Speaker 1: think again, bitch, I don't think so. That's magnusen. Those
Speaker 1: are words, the words I'm I have been. I have
Speaker 1: been guilty of that. You've been guilty. I've been guilty
Speaker 1: of that, And but I definitely learned tonight. And that's
Speaker 1: what's important to be And that is about. This whole
Speaker 1: night's about and the whole night has been has been
Speaker 1: about education and will continue to be a bad education.
Speaker 1: Get to the mic kicking eagleson Now here's the real
Speaker 1: t Here's the real ty. I just mentioned millionaire. Kiki
Speaker 1: and I were on the same episode Who Wants to
Speaker 1: Be a Millionaire Castmates Castmates, and I won five thousand
Speaker 1: dollars and she won a hundred thousand dollars. True story.
Speaker 1: You didn't have something fun about that hundred thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: It's gone goodbye bye money by money. Okay, So Kicky, listen,
Speaker 1: I love it. You've always made great decisions before and
Speaker 1: your tenure on and even in just the choices that
Speaker 1: were a tasteful choker as I think, thank you, ne
Speaker 1: belt a neck belt. All right, so listen, we have,
Speaker 1: of course the option of the troll ball you're celebrated improviser,
Speaker 1: or we can do you know, the pre selected. It
Speaker 1: has been pre selected. I love that kicking. Here it goes,
Speaker 1: here's your I don't think so, honey, and your time
Speaker 1: starts now. I don't think so honey. Not looking incredibly
Speaker 1: hot after losing a ton of weight. I've lost over
Speaker 1: a hundred pounds in the last two years. Clap about it,
Speaker 1: and my body looks like a melted candle. I knew
Speaker 1: I wouldn't look like a victorious secret model, but I
Speaker 1: did think i'd look like an airy model. Those pitches
Speaker 1: aren't air bros. I don't think so, honey. I ran
Speaker 1: the New York City Sucking Marathon, and like than and
Speaker 1: my tants look like pancakes with pencil erasers attached to
Speaker 1: them at that point at the floor. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: I haven't had full calorie ice cream in two years.
Speaker 1: Just halo top. That tastes like someone thought out ice
Speaker 1: cream and burped in your face. Seconds the sluth skin
Speaker 1: on my stomach hangs down so far that you can't
Speaker 1: see my pussy from the front. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: you can't see my pussy from the suckers? Can you
Speaker 1: keep us? And everybody? Thank you? Amazing, amazing, thank you, amazing,
Speaker 1: unbelievable this night, This night was scorching us all. I
Speaker 1: didn't continue to squatch with my sister Amanda set Man. Hello, Queen,
Speaker 1: I just want to first say I think my group
Speaker 1: is like a whole viye yes, groups five you guys,
Speaker 1: the Dutch says, because I'm obsessed. Amanda. Okay, So I
Speaker 1: have a question, and that I think you'll know what
Speaker 1: that question is. It's they love you, alright, So listen,
Speaker 1: we have either a trouble or a priest. Let's a topic.
Speaker 1: That's the choice. I'm literally going to read my notes
Speaker 1: like word for word. It's going to be so I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be attached. We love that. Here's Amanda second. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. I don't
Speaker 1: think so honey. The Instagram explore p Yes, none of
Speaker 1: us are talking about this. Why it's very dark. It's quietly,
Speaker 1: quietly ruining my life. Um, you don't know me, Okay,
Speaker 1: You're like most of the men i've dated. Okay, This
Speaker 1: identity that you have curated for me is based on lies.
Speaker 1: This is about you, sweetie. Who is she? You actually
Speaker 1: are different from them, though, because sometimes you make me calm,
Speaker 1: fuck me with memes, I'm absolute trash. One time you
Speaker 1: showed me a video of a woman getting a fun
Speaker 1: haircut by having it set on fire. You are the
Speaker 1: ID of the fucking internet. Based on your algorithm, You've
Speaker 1: pinned me somewhere between gayten and a middle aged woman
Speaker 1: from Florida. You're where my depression begins and ends. And
Speaker 1: while we're on the topic, I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: social media exacerbating depression. You are a collage of shame.
Speaker 1: No thank you, my Instagram explore page, you are interest
Speaker 1: without consent. You're my best friend of my worst fucking enemy.
Speaker 1: Honestly yes, and they are listening to us for sure,
Speaker 1: because I said the words Patricia Clarkson near my phone
Speaker 1: one time and it was like, do you like Patricia Clarkson?
Speaker 1: And I would never say Patricia Clarkson. And this is
Speaker 1: not the only Clarkson I say is thanks bitch. And
Speaker 1: I once said near my phone that I needed new underwear.
Speaker 1: And now all of my ads are like porn, like
Speaker 1: softcore porn um. That is different. That's a different experience.
Speaker 1: But I knew that since my experience was different, I
Speaker 1: had to share it and and thank you for that.
Speaker 1: And then I continues to be about education. Everyone, please
Speaker 1: have a my friend, put shuts up your list of
Speaker 1: them by giving you arms. This bit the Duchess is
Speaker 1: a girl. Is a girl group. This is a girl group.
Speaker 1: This is what Danity Kane should have. This is what
Speaker 1: Danity Kane should have been, the Danity Cane we deserved.
Speaker 1: This is a little mix. This is the Danity Kane.
Speaker 1: But everyone's all brief. Wow, And I think, and I
Speaker 1: think that's a good thing. Famously about being in a
Speaker 1: car and not at a club is a song about
Speaker 1: being a woman, and yes, in a car cars for
Speaker 1: you yes, So, Patricia, I'm here and I'm asking you,
Speaker 1: is it pre selected? A trouball? It's got to be
Speaker 1: pre selected because I'm surprised that no one's done this yet. Wow. Okay,
Speaker 1: here we go, hot take coming, here we go, Tricia.
Speaker 1: You're I don't think so many times starts now, I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, Amanda By, we were all rooting
Speaker 1: for you. Listen, we loved Guda and we all were
Speaker 1: confused as to whether we wanted Calling Firth to fuck
Speaker 1: us or be our dad. Listen, you did not start
Speaker 1: Channing Tatum's career. Channing Tatums Dick started his career. Guy. Listen.
Speaker 1: What Britney Spears did when she shaved her head with
Speaker 1: that did to game In is what Amanda Binds his
Speaker 1: tweets did to white women who were growing up being
Speaker 1: quirky and wanting to be funny. Bit So, you know,
Speaker 1: when she was like, oh, I want Drake to murder
Speaker 1: my pussy, we were all like, live Amanda alone, we
Speaker 1: all want Drinke to murder our pussy. Then she got
Speaker 1: cheek piercings. We were like, listen, woman's right to choose.
Speaker 1: And then and then she's like Michelle Obama's ugly, and
Speaker 1: we were like, no, you see this whole. This is
Speaker 1: where Dustin Diamond, mcaulay Culkin and the fucking Halts and
Speaker 1: Twins go. You go in there, you don't come back
Speaker 1: and your own fucking words bringing the dancing, fucking lopsters.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, Patresia. Wow, here I thought Amanda
Speaker 1: Bond goes back, and now I'm convinced that she's not. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know that she's back. We can't have her,
Speaker 1: we can't, but be sad. It makes me sad. I
Speaker 1: need to go to a space and get to the space.
Speaker 1: I need to go get okay. You need to go
Speaker 1: get okay. And while you're getting okay, please welcome Rachel
Speaker 1: Rosenthal to the mic. Hi, come on high. So I
Speaker 1: know nothing about pop culture, Well, I'm guessing you're not
Speaker 1: doing the ball, but let's do the fucking ball. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but first, but first, but first, I wish how to
Speaker 1: ring on me because Kiki Michaelson, you're my Oh my god,
Speaker 1: will you she said, yeah, oh my god, wow, that
Speaker 1: was so important and special. We're going into the bowl
Speaker 1: and I'm picking it out right now. Kurt and I
Speaker 1: hope Henry Winkler hasn't been chosen. Okay, Okay, Rachel, this
Speaker 1: is really good for you. I doubt you know you know,
Speaker 1: you know your I don't think so, honey. A troll
Speaker 1: Bowl topic and it's seasonal and topical as my fault.
Speaker 1: Don't think it's rumbling. Is Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer
Speaker 1: and your time starts now? Fuck you, Rudolf the motherfucking
Speaker 1: red Nose Reindeer. I'm a jew, My nose matters, all right,
Speaker 1: all right, I don't think so. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: I don't think so. You couldn't see, they couldn't see.
Speaker 1: Anyone can take their fucking iPhone out. Something is wrong
Speaker 1: with your face. Also, what is your voice? So it's
Speaker 1: just so high? And also how many songs do you need? Okay?
Speaker 1: And come on, name one fucking reindeer game? What one?
Speaker 1: Al right? What scrapple? No, that's a human game game.
Speaker 1: You know what. I don't think so, honey, Rudolph the
Speaker 1: Red Nose Reindeer. First off, Rudolph dumb name, call yourself, Rudy,
Speaker 1: call yourself rural, give yourself something snappy. I will find
Speaker 1: my own way home, Thank you very much. That I man,
Speaker 1: that was amazing. Rachel Rosenthal, that's a troop of that.
Speaker 1: To know that is true professional trouball and coming to
Speaker 1: the mic is the hurricane that I know. And her
Speaker 1: name is Katie Berry. Touch me, Katie Berry. I love you,
Speaker 1: I love you. And by the way, I also won
Speaker 1: five grand on millionaires. Fairly at the fucking footage because
Speaker 1: it's embarrassing. It's so embarrassing. Did you lose a lot
Speaker 1: of money and then get bumped down? I I got
Speaker 1: up to like the ten thou questions bumped down, so
Speaker 1: it really wasn't that as keeks. I was up to
Speaker 1: the K number and spelled something wrong and got it
Speaker 1: and got bumped. I'm sure she's fail. I'm so sick
Speaker 1: of being the only person not on Millionaire. I'm so
Speaker 1: sick of it in this town. Town you can't win
Speaker 1: in this town. By the way, really quick about education.
Speaker 1: I just want to say, I'm really sorry I have
Speaker 1: in my life posted to ted Bird photos to Instagram.
Speaker 1: I can't believe I got all down. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm sorry. I'll never do it again.
Speaker 1: And I'm a better person because it is shook sucking
Speaker 1: all right, Listen, Katie Berry. We have a trouble here,
Speaker 1: we also have a beautiful, gorgeous mind full of I know, grievances.
Speaker 1: So what are we doing? Make your own choice. IMpower
Speaker 1: you to make your own choice. I had to pre selected,
Speaker 1: but I feel like Katie, Katie, what the fuck Katie?
Speaker 1: They want? Because everyone's screaming, I how do I selected?
Speaker 1: In my mind? Chris, what the funk? Am I thinking?
Speaker 1: This is insane? We are very topical and seasonal. I
Speaker 1: don't think so is the North Pole? And your time
Speaker 1: starts now? I don't think so, honey, north Pole. The
Speaker 1: only north Pole I want is my boyfriend's hard dude,
Speaker 1: that canny ship. That's a patriarchal society led by one
Speaker 1: sat white man with a big old beard, shaking ship Santa.
Speaker 1: I don't like all that hair. Damn. Mrs Claus is
Speaker 1: sitting at home bacon cookies and ship and range and
Speaker 1: find around. And you've been slaved an entire society of
Speaker 1: little people who are just working a fucking figure to
Speaker 1: the boat for our super consumers children, so I can
Speaker 1: have the fucking iPhones for Christmas. North Pole? Fuck you,
Speaker 1: North Pole? You know what global warming is coming for you,
Speaker 1: North Pole. It's coming. You're reaping what you sow. You're
Speaker 1: in Dutch, You fucking war complex. It's melting those and
Speaker 1: you live on and you are going down. Sit. I
Speaker 1: want to fucking cookie, want to spit and eat you.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna fucking true on your I hate the North Pole.
Speaker 1: I don't think so. Hon name, Queen Diva, Katie Berry,
Speaker 1: Queens God, thank you for pushing me to have that
Speaker 1: experience and give it. Magnusen, Kiki Michelson, Amanda Settman, Patricia Sabulist,
Speaker 1: Rachel Rosenthal, and the Queen Diva Katie Berry. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: that that was harny. That was harny. That was so horny. Oh. So,
Speaker 1: can I say if the North Pole votes, they go red?
Speaker 1: Conservative people up there at the North Pole just saying
Speaker 1: a traditionalist, Um yeah, white, why it's very white there. Now,
Speaker 1: you were very shook by one of those. I don't
Speaker 1: think so. Honey's about Amanda Binds, Oh yeah, I was affected.
Speaker 1: I just um, I just feel like if I could
Speaker 1: have just met her earlier. Um, it's just so crazy.
Speaker 1: It's this is not my fault, it's not my business.
Speaker 1: But I can't help but feel partially responsible. I could
Speaker 1: have done something, um, but that's you know that you're wrong.
Speaker 1: It was your responsibility. And actually we're gonna move on.
Speaker 1: And I struggle with this anymore. Okay, I struggle with that,
Speaker 1: and let's move on, right, everyone, give it up for
Speaker 1: this group. We're just called the boys in my band.
Speaker 1: How do we feel? Oh sorry, it's the boys in
Speaker 1: my band? Ha ha. Give it up for Kevin A.
Speaker 1: Give it up for Alex Gibson, give it up for
Speaker 1: John Graziano, give it up for Taylor Rivers, and give
Speaker 1: it up for Sam mar Listen, Yes, I plucked the
Speaker 1: screenp together. Boys. I feel like I'm on gay Bachelor.
Speaker 1: It's very much that there will be a proposal tonight.
Speaker 1: Will be another proposal tonight. That's the reveal, and that's
Speaker 1: there will be a second proposal for a marriage tonight
Speaker 1: at this show. Yes, everyone, please welcome Kevin A to
Speaker 1: the mic. Hi. Hey, Kevin, Now we talked backstage and
Speaker 1: you want to preface your I don't think so. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: listen up. A couple of nights ago, I had a
Speaker 1: very vivid dream about this night. Oh my god, and
Speaker 1: you were there. You were there, but you were sitting there,
Speaker 1: and so in the dream I picked the trouble, and
Speaker 1: in the trouble I got Andy Garcia. Andy Garcia. Yes,
Speaker 1: and I need to make my dream come true. You
Speaker 1: want to do Andy Garcia, I'm gonna do Indy Garcia.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna have sex with him, but I will
Speaker 1: him in terms of the hunty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: he's selected from a trouble from my dream. Yes, I'm
Speaker 1: with this, Ken. I don't think so, honey. And if
Speaker 1: time starts now, okay, a grown man named Andy, I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. Unless you're making pop art out
Speaker 1: of Campbell suit cans or making old rich ladies fight
Speaker 1: on TV, you didn't need to be called Andrew. You're
Speaker 1: a man of a certain age, Andy Garcia, come on, Okay.
Speaker 1: So here's a fun fact about Andy Garcia. His first
Speaker 1: acting role was in the pilot episode of Murder. She wrote, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I learned that today, and I think I know what's happens.
Speaker 1: He's on set. Angela Landsbury calls him Andy, and it
Speaker 1: got stuck. And you know what, if that's the case,
Speaker 1: I don't care if you're a dame. I don't think
Speaker 1: so honey, you cannot be renaming our Latino actors to
Speaker 1: talk about Mom and Mia too, Fernando share Abbott, they
Speaker 1: sing about that Andy Garcia plays for an Ino and
Speaker 1: Mom and Mea too. So now I had to picture
Speaker 1: Andy Garcia every time I hear that song five seconds
Speaker 1: that's Jimmy Schmits for me Yea. And the season three
Speaker 1: episode of Murder, she wrote, who at sixty three should
Speaker 1: be called James? You know? Angela Lansbury called him Jimmy,
Speaker 1: and once again, Dame Angela renames are Hispanic beloved actors,
Speaker 1: two kids names and and it was an education kis.
Speaker 1: And we can't have Angela Lansbury just doing whatever the
Speaker 1: fun she wants Shels Island. Angela Lansbury needs to be
Speaker 1: doing what I want, which is being in The Beauty
Speaker 1: and the Beast remake, because I didn't need whatever Emma
Speaker 1: Thompson was doing. See Me After, Yes, See Him After?
Speaker 1: Why was the song so slow? The Beauty and the
Speaker 1: Beast song and the movie was slow? I didn't see
Speaker 1: that film, okay, but but I've also is It's one
Speaker 1: of the greatest honors in our culture to be in
Speaker 1: someone's dream. And I feel honored to have been in
Speaker 1: your dream. Is there going to be a proposal right now? Wow? Okay,
Speaker 1: oh my god, Oh my god, it's okay. Just do
Speaker 1: my nicotine. Yes, yes, he said yes. Most he is
Speaker 1: gonna be on the Toughest Way podcast, and Kevin actually
Speaker 1: asked my dad if he could ask me to be
Speaker 1: on the podcast. My dad actually said yes and that
Speaker 1: I love traditional and that was important to me. So
Speaker 1: I'm glad he talked about other podcasts. Is a raiser
Speaker 1: and we're gonna move on. All right, here we go,
Speaker 1: Welcome Alex Gibson to the mag I like this outfits.
Speaker 1: I was told to prepre Oh, you know what's happen,
Speaker 1: you know what you know? What's good? Okay, here we go, Alex. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm excited to hear what you're doing. Well. True story.
Speaker 1: I had two different prepared ones that were both done previously. Tonight.
Speaker 1: That's hard. So even though I famously do not know celebrities,
Speaker 1: and the terror fills my blood. Oh, I love that.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go ball. Oh, and my hands in there.
Speaker 1: It feels good. It feels so good to have my
Speaker 1: hands in here. And as I pull it out, you
Speaker 1: know this celebrity, bring it on your trouble. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. Topic is Mark Wahlberg. Thanks so, honey,
Speaker 1: Mark Wallburg, Hulk was middling at best, was he and home?
Speaker 1: Fuck you for making me think you were the Hulk Monk,
Speaker 1: Mark Wallberg, because you know what, you're an average white
Speaker 1: guy with brown hair. Every average white guy with brown
Speaker 1: hair has played the Hulk. Mark Rolberg has done the
Speaker 1: following under that one, Mark Lberg, you seem like a
Speaker 1: straight tu bag. Mark Wallberg, you were Marky Mark. Oh,
Speaker 1: you had a big penis, but it was fake, and
Speaker 1: that was a lie to fifth grade me who looked
Speaker 1: up a Google image of you with that giant penis
Speaker 1: and expected that to be how they all looked fifteen seconds.
Speaker 1: Fuck you for lying to me. I have a queery
Speaker 1: bees wax. Why did you have a rap career? That's appropriation?
Speaker 1: Booms um, Marky Mark sucked my dick and that's that's
Speaker 1: one minute. You know what. That wasn't impressive. I don't think, Sonny,
Speaker 1: because for the first ten seconds we didn't even know
Speaker 1: what Mark we were talking about, and then in the
Speaker 1: last fifty seconds we got a full I don't think
Speaker 1: so honey, just to be celebrated. And I didn't know
Speaker 1: about that. Um, I didn't know about the fake penis
Speaker 1: penis picture at all. So now it wasn't a picture, bitch,
Speaker 1: it was a live action moment. He whipped out a
Speaker 1: fake cock in boogue. I didn't know about that. I
Speaker 1: did not about that. But also the movie Ted was
Speaker 1: very bad and not enough people talk about that. And
Speaker 1: also he famously said he could have like stopped nine
Speaker 1: eleven or something. He's like, if I was on the plane,
Speaker 1: that wouldn't have happened. Okay, well, that don't getting mad
Speaker 1: at me, he said it. Okay, that's how I feel
Speaker 1: about Amanda Bynes. It's John Graciano. Hello, John. It's lovely
Speaker 1: to see hi for having So are we doing a
Speaker 1: pre slet the topic or the Trouball? So? Okay, I
Speaker 1: too have some context, added this. I want to do
Speaker 1: the Trouball so badly because I love I know, I
Speaker 1: love danger. Let's here, let's have something. I had. Something
Speaker 1: dramatic happened to me on the subway today. No, God, no,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be here earlier this week m and my
Speaker 1: therapist canceled on me. So I'm here to hell, okay,
Speaker 1: he gets it. He doesn't charge me nearly as much
Speaker 1: as these ships, so he gets to buy a great
Speaker 1: So here we are. We're going to act as the therapy,
Speaker 1: and this is I don't think so, honey, John Graziano,
Speaker 1: and your time starts now. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: People who clip their fingernails on the subway? Where the
Speaker 1: fund did you come from? We're on the a train
Speaker 1: that does not stand for anything goes. It stands for
Speaker 1: act like a fucking human. I was on I swear
Speaker 1: to god, I was on the sea train the other day.
Speaker 1: Has anyone here ever been on the sea train before?
Speaker 1: Don't don't ever go back on the fucking sea train
Speaker 1: was on. I was on the train and they stopped
Speaker 1: it because of a sick passenger. Give me a diagnosis,
Speaker 1: Get you a diagnosis. You know why, because I'm now
Speaker 1: trapped underground with a woman clipping her fingernails on my car.
Speaker 1: That's a sick passenger. Now, I think every time they say,
Speaker 1: every time they say we're sold because there's a sick passenger,
Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, this person is not having a heart attack.
Speaker 1: I'd stopped for a heart attack. You can stole my
Speaker 1: car for a heart attack. Now, when they say there's
Speaker 1: a sick passenger, I just imagine some woman clipping her fingernails,
Speaker 1: making so fucking mad. I don't think so, honey, clip
Speaker 1: your fingers on the goddamn train one minute. Don't do that.
Speaker 1: Are you fucking crazy? I will say I do crazy
Speaker 1: ship on the trains. I become something on the train
Speaker 1: and it's I don't clip my finger nails or my
Speaker 1: tone alice, But yeah, I would hope not. Or you're
Speaker 1: on someone else on the trains, I go into a feud.
Speaker 1: Say it, um, So you're saying you can't be held
Speaker 1: responsible for your behavior on the trains. Yeah, And I
Speaker 1: think that that would hold up in a court of law.
Speaker 1: If I'm on the trains, I'm not present myself. It's
Speaker 1: martial law when Pat Regan is on the trains. All right,
Speaker 1: everyone please welcome. Is that right? Martial laws? And I
Speaker 1: use that right? Or do I not know my words? Okay?
Speaker 1: Well fuck you everyone, please welcome. Taylor Rivers in from Toronto.
Speaker 1: In from Toronto, Taylor Rivers, my friend from Toronto to
Speaker 1: me about your your decision. Select ah, Okay, he's had
Speaker 1: this on deck, so Taylor, you're I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Time starts now, I don't think so, honey. The theme
Speaker 1: of my high school prom being old Hollywood glamour. Sorry,
Speaker 1: the only thing old Holly. What about my high school
Speaker 1: was like I didn't feel safe to come out. Also,
Speaker 1: you know whose idea that was. It was like this weird,
Speaker 1: horny girl named Rachel who was like on prom committee
Speaker 1: and like got a typewriter, so she felt like she
Speaker 1: was like born in the wrong decade. My high school
Speaker 1: prom was so not old Hollywood glamored, and I literally
Speaker 1: got puked on on a fifty person party bus by
Speaker 1: a woman named Kelsey who had a two year old
Speaker 1: at home. She went on to get breath of lies
Speaker 1: and thrown in a cop car. But you know what,
Speaker 1: Let's celebrate how beautiful Judy Garland was when she was
Speaker 1: a kid. Let's focus on our problem. Committee was literally like,
Speaker 1: you guys are horrible kids. No one's graduating. But like,
Speaker 1: you can't deny that Audrey Hepburn wasn't a fucking icon. Also,
Speaker 1: I don't think so many Marilyn Monroe r I p
Speaker 1: not to be a bit. She seemed really stupid. I
Speaker 1: think of you I think I think give you like
Speaker 1: Marilyn Monroe, you also think that like brunches. Fancy that's
Speaker 1: one man. She didn't seem smart. She didn't seem smart.
Speaker 1: All right, everyone, please welcome Sam Morrison to the man.
Speaker 1: Come on the leather jacket him since he said bunch.
Speaker 1: But what's uppen? All right? Here we go. Listen. What's
Speaker 1: up is we have a decision here to make. It's
Speaker 1: the pre selected thing or you know, we have a
Speaker 1: trouble here. You know, I was gonna do I have
Speaker 1: a pre selected I was gonna do having seven no, no,
Speaker 1: stop it. I got you to talk about it, and
Speaker 1: I'm like so drunk, but I wanted to mention having
Speaker 1: seven white men on his stage at the same time.
Speaker 1: But that felt like a little much to talk about
Speaker 1: in front of everybody. Oh my god, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for having me. I'm kidding by that's my time
Speaker 1: and seen select. Okay, cool, perfect, So Sam, your time starts.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, straight people taking the word
Speaker 1: daddy because y'all are not. You're just talking about something
Speaker 1: like adorable little twenty eight year old born star daddy
Speaker 1: And no, no, no, no, no, I want somebody who's
Speaker 1: like confused by his iPhone? Do you understand a father
Speaker 1: with a baby. I want Peter Griffin from Family Guy.
Speaker 1: I want an old fat Harry daddy bear. Don't come
Speaker 1: for my word use psychos Okay, that is okay, And Joe,
Speaker 1: before you judge me, just know I don't say daddy
Speaker 1: because I want to fuck my dad. I say daddy
Speaker 1: because I want to fuck your dad. Seconds seconds okay. Oh,
Speaker 1: and it's not like straight people nicknames are any better.
Speaker 1: You say what like baby? Baby? Baby? What? He's that? What?
Speaker 1: Five seconds? What a baby is? You're seen a baby?
Speaker 1: They're so like pudgy and illiterate at like best, that's
Speaker 1: what a baby is. Stay away from my word weird.
Speaker 1: But that's why Morrison give it up for the poison
Speaker 1: my band ha ha, Kevin a, Alice Gibson, John Graciano,
Speaker 1: Tell Rivers and Sam Morrison. Thank you hot boys boys.
Speaker 1: Kisses back literally, kisses back. I love how they um
Speaker 1: literally if you want kisses back, um. I like how
Speaker 1: the group of all the game is like every single
Speaker 1: one was like, let me tell you the story of
Speaker 1: the journey of how I came to my decision tonight,
Speaker 1: um educational I'm telling you it continues on and who
Speaker 1: better to educate than white gay man. We have so
Speaker 1: we have a story to tell. So listen all right.
Speaker 1: This next group is called have you heard of Christmas?
Speaker 1: Which is also a plug? Are you she been? Bits?
Speaker 1: Have to do? Pleas playing in December. There's many things
Speaker 1: you can come see. Thank you everyone. Please welcome Chanel Ali,
Speaker 1: my co host, Please welcome, Yesmin Garza, please welcome, Erica Hernandez, welcome, ari'all, Gitling, welcome,
Speaker 1: Sunny Yes, and welcome chat Seagull. This is the last
Speaker 1: group of the night. We are looking good. Let's bring
Speaker 1: to the mic Chanel Ali. Wow, that mike is very high.
Speaker 1: That that's very high for you, my Micael. Yesel a
Speaker 1: fan favorite. Already. Yes, here we go, Chanel A. We're
Speaker 1: doing a pre prepared topic or a trouball topic. Oh man,
Speaker 1: I'm worried. That's something in that is something black people
Speaker 1: don't know about. I already got a thing, so I'm
Speaker 1: might think your thing. At least I don't think so. Honey.
Speaker 1: Your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Pigs
Speaker 1: in a blanket, it's very divisive, you know, you think
Speaker 1: that's what they call them, but not the one per centers,
Speaker 1: not in their homes. They're gated communities. Not pigs in
Speaker 1: a blanket. No, they call them crescent dogs. Crescent does.
Speaker 1: And it's that type of elite. It's dope activity that's
Speaker 1: responsible for unemployment in the Midwest. I'm sick of it.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Pigs in a blanket and
Speaker 1: not bacon, not sausage, just pig pig wrapped in a buttery,
Speaker 1: flaky crust. Just because you want to get married, I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. You and I both know your
Speaker 1: fiance Hello is gay. And just because you want to
Speaker 1: basket and denial, I gotta cloth my honories. I don't
Speaker 1: think so. Five seconds, I thank you, Chanel Ali. Everyone,
Speaker 1: it's actually a rule of culture number seventeen. You and
Speaker 1: I both know your fiance Paolo is gay. I love that.
Speaker 1: Everyone welcome to them like yes, man Garza, Hello, how
Speaker 1: are you doing good? It's mean usman. I'm so sorry, honey,
Speaker 1: people who mispronounced my name. I don't think so, honey them,
Speaker 1: and I don't think so honey. Me all right, So
Speaker 1: we have a tropal decision or pre selected Kasman Garza.
Speaker 1: Here we go. You're out on the honey. Time starts now.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, Ariana Grande, pony, Tell what
Speaker 1: are you doing? Ain't bitch you call yourself an artist?
Speaker 1: What are you doing innovate? I'm not asking you to
Speaker 1: get bangs, I'm not asking you to get layers. Just
Speaker 1: take out the goddamn pony. Tell what the fuck she acts? Dude,
Speaker 1: she likes her pony tells the same way she likes
Speaker 1: her men Hi as fun seconds Hi. Has she even
Speaker 1: gone through puberty? Yet? She even she has no himps
Speaker 1: and she she took out her fucking Mickey Mouse ears.
Speaker 1: Take out the goddamn pony. Tell are you an artist?
Speaker 1: I want to see it. Ariana Grande. She has long, brown,
Speaker 1: shiny hair, and she's putting it up in a putting
Speaker 1: that's like having a fat ass and wrapping a flannel
Speaker 1: around your waist every day. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: that's all right. I think you're honor. It is a really,
Speaker 1: really high It's so you think that's something about the world,
Speaker 1: but it does. It's heart, I know. Everyone. Please welcome
Speaker 1: Erica Hernandez Erica. Listen, we have a trouble here full
Speaker 1: of topics, or your beautiful brain with whatever is in it.
Speaker 1: Thank you for trying my brain beautiful. No, I thank
Speaker 1: you for the choice. But I'm going to do a thing.
Speaker 1: You're gonna do a thing translated to pre selected. All right,
Speaker 1: here we go, so Erica, your time starts now. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. Men who jell their hair back
Speaker 1: hy under. Why why do you have to protect your
Speaker 1: head from with all that jew You want to protect
Speaker 1: your head? Where a fucking helmet? No, that's if you
Speaker 1: take a picture and the flash reflects off of the
Speaker 1: top of your head. That's a problem. And you know what.
Speaker 1: I know you think it looks all wet like you
Speaker 1: put water in it. But I know your secret. You
Speaker 1: didn't shower, You put some water on your hand, and
Speaker 1: then you put off up jel on top of it.
Speaker 1: That's not clean. Guys who don't jel their hair the
Speaker 1: same guys who wear a whole bunch of acts and
Speaker 1: DJ and show their chest hair wochs and gel. There's
Speaker 1: only one thing. There's only one thing. I wanted five
Speaker 1: hard on a man when I walk up to him
Speaker 1: and it's not on top of his head it's his abs,
Speaker 1: but I'll oh my god, unbelievable. And now please welcome area,
Speaker 1: good loud hi high. All right, here we go. We're
Speaker 1: doing either a priest like the topic or you know,
Speaker 1: there's the trouball here pre for shame and here we go,
Speaker 1: ariel Getling, your time starts now. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: Ansel Elgort. When I saw the fault of dart Stars,
Speaker 1: I was happy when your character died because I didn't
Speaker 1: get to see your stupid fucking face anymore. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey, Ansel Algar. Do you think you're cool
Speaker 1: because you got a Golden Glove nomination for baby Driver?
Speaker 1: Well maybe they should have given it to your stunt
Speaker 1: double who probably actually did all the work. Look, Barney
Speaker 1: a high school? Do you even happy driver's license? Anyone
Speaker 1: could have played that role if they just put on
Speaker 1: rabians and headphones. Okay, I don't think so, honey, Ansel Elgor.
Speaker 1: You're not an edip musician. You're a rich kid with
Speaker 1: all laugh t seconds. I don't think so, ansl al Gore.
Speaker 1: You're a bad influence on Timothy shall Im five seconds.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, Ansle alcre and I fucking
Speaker 1: think you bombed in What Side Story? And you haven't
Speaker 1: even felt that good love? Unbelievable and now please welcome
Speaker 1: Sunny Ray is hey, hey, hey, hey oh the look
Speaker 1: is present. Hello Sunny Now. I have a question for you.
Speaker 1: Is that the trouble or preselected reselected Sunny Ray? Is
Speaker 1: your time starts now? I don't think so, honey, West
Speaker 1: Side Story, remake what it is happening, Google it. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. Okay, it was a really problematic
Speaker 1: in nineteen sixty one, honey, Okay, every actor that played
Speaker 1: the Puerto Rican roll were role face, including rida'm Alrina.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. So Steven Spielberg, you're bringing
Speaker 1: back West Side Story without a Puerto Rican writer or
Speaker 1: Puerto Rican coreograt practice. I don't think so, honey. Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. You're bringing West Side Story
Speaker 1: a year after that my President Trump through paper towels
Speaker 1: at Puerto Ricans that we're dyeing with no electricity or water.
Speaker 1: I don't do so, honey. I don't think so. I
Speaker 1: know you're castor Rina whatever in a made up roll
Speaker 1: that doesn't even exist in the original. No, honey, she's
Speaker 1: a fucking national treasure function. You didn't hire her back
Speaker 1: after she wouldn't asked her for it. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: say no to the west. And now with the final
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Of the night, please welcome
Speaker 1: my friend, chat siega o, my god, Hello, chat Hello listen,
Speaker 1: this is the finale of the night. I want to
Speaker 1: know are we doing the ball? Are are we doing?
Speaker 1: I don't think any pre prepared? She came prepared. Okay,
Speaker 1: here we go with the prepared. I don't think the
Speaker 1: only topic here is chet Siegal. Your time starts now.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. The people who say, oh,
Speaker 1: don't mind him, he's from another time. Oh oh really,
Speaker 1: Oh really, then show me his motherfucking time machine. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Unless you can show me that time machine, I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. The only thing your racist old ass
Speaker 1: has in common with Marty McFly is you both have Parkinson. Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: if you don't think you can behave and exist in
Speaker 1: or follow standards and rules, then fine. You don't get
Speaker 1: the perks. Okay, you don't get medical advancements, you don't
Speaker 1: get Dick pills. You don't get pulled up if you
Speaker 1: racist old ships have the balls to tell me that
Speaker 1: I have a nice nose for a keke thank you.
Speaker 1: Then then you can piss it a ball next to
Speaker 1: your bed and die of polio. I don't think so.
Speaker 1: That's one minute, everyone, and can you give it up
Speaker 1: for this group? Have you heard of Christmas Chanel Ali? Yes,
Speaker 1: me and Carza, Erica Hernandez, Harrya Gitling and chats go
Speaker 1: and with that we have I don't think so, honey
Speaker 1: Live pett Regan. Thank you for being with me tonight.
Speaker 1: And again, when I first heard Bowen Yang was unwilling
Speaker 1: to do the show, I was like, I hope the
Speaker 1: show still goes off, and I'm just so glad that
Speaker 1: I'm so happy that we did that. Guys, thank you
Speaker 1: all so much for coming out. Please listen to the
Speaker 1: podcast I'm like and subscribe. Thank you so much. Have
Speaker 1: a great night. We'll see you out there in the bar.
Speaker 1: This a DJ. This has been a Forever Dog production
Speaker 1: executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey.
Speaker 1: For more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot
Speaker 1: com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcast, Spotify,
Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the
Speaker 1: latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and
Speaker 1: Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.
Speaker 1: H