WEBVTT - What can I own, not how can I help

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is to figure out what responsibilities everyone in your

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<v Speaker 1>household can own. Let go of the assumption that everything

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<v Speaker 1>is your responsibility and other people should help. Instead, divvy

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<v Speaker 1>up responsibility so everyone takes ownership of areas they will manage.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip comes from Catherine's Soulman, author of the book

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<v Speaker 1>The Four Jobs Club. I interviewed Catherine for one of

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<v Speaker 1>the longer Before Breakfast episodes earlier this year. She offered

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<v Speaker 1>lots of helpful insights. One tip was that we don't

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<v Speaker 1>want our partners and kids to ask how can I help.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, sure, help is nice, and it is better

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<v Speaker 1>that they ask than that they do nothing, But asking

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<v Speaker 1>how can I help? Implies that everything is somebody else's responsibility. Instead,

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<v Speaker 1>we want everyone in the household to be thinking what

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<v Speaker 1>can I own? That is, what can I take responsibility

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<v Speaker 1>for from start to finish. I've heard some people refer

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<v Speaker 1>to this as vertical ownership. In other words, you own

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<v Speaker 1>a task stream top to bottom. There are a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of benefits to this approach. For one thing, it's clear

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<v Speaker 1>that no one is responsible for everything. You are responsible

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<v Speaker 1>for some things and other people in your household are

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<v Speaker 1>responsible for other things. This means less time and mental

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<v Speaker 1>bandwidth are required of you for making your household run.

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<v Speaker 1>Vertical ownership is also more efficient if you are responsible

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<v Speaker 1>for feeding your family, for instance, deciding what to eat,

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<v Speaker 1>getting groceries, and cooking, then you know what you need

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<v Speaker 1>at the grocery store. On the other hand, if it

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<v Speaker 1>varies week to week who does the grocery shopping and cooking,

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<v Speaker 1>or if one person cooks in another person grocery shops,

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<v Speaker 1>there's going to be a lot more coordination required. Vertical

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<v Speaker 1>ownership gives kids an opportunity to build skills and confidence.

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<v Speaker 1>Even a young child who sets the table every day

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<v Speaker 1>will learn to do so reliably before too long. A

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<v Speaker 1>kid who's in charge of dog walking will learn, perhaps

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<v Speaker 1>the hard way, how long your dog can go without

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<v Speaker 1>a bathroom break. For adults, vertical ownership can mean more

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<v Speaker 1>autonomy and less worry that someone is constantly monitoring their

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<v Speaker 1>decisions as to how you might divvy up aspects of

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<v Speaker 1>home life. There are a lot of experts out there

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<v Speaker 1>you can consult, including Eve Rodsky, who developed the fair

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<v Speaker 1>Play method and Lyndall Shiner, who takes an analytical approach,

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<v Speaker 1>but to get you started thinking. Some possible areas for

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<v Speaker 1>ownership include school, childcare, kid activities, kid, medical, pets, home maintenance, cleaning, laundry, yard, food, finances,

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<v Speaker 1>extended family, and social The particular aspects of life that

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<v Speaker 1>need ownership will vary, and there may be some areas

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<v Speaker 1>that aren't important to you and might make other people's

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<v Speaker 1>lists or vice versa. For instance, if you don't have

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<v Speaker 1>a yard, you don't need to be concerned about yard work.

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<v Speaker 1>But the point is to get shared agreement on what

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<v Speaker 1>the household priorities are and then divvy up ownership not

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<v Speaker 1>just who does what task, but who's responsible for what tasks.

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<v Speaker 1>Stream If you want to lead a full life, it's

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<v Speaker 1>not enough for others in your household to help. Everybody

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<v Speaker 1>needs to own certain tasks and then everyone can be

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<v Speaker 1>more efficient in getting things done. Do you use vertical

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<v Speaker 1>ownership in your household? I'd love to know how you

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<v Speaker 1>do it. You can reach me at Laura at Laura

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<v Speaker 1>vandercam dot com. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks

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<v Speaker 1>for listening, and here's to making the most of our time.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas,

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<v Speaker 1>or feedback, you can reach me at Laura at Laura

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<v Speaker 1>vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia.

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