1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:09,360 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,800 Speaker 1: tip is to figure out what responsibilities everyone in your 4 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:24,360 Speaker 1: household can own. Let go of the assumption that everything 5 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:30,200 Speaker 1: is your responsibility and other people should help. Instead, divvy 6 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:36,080 Speaker 1: up responsibility so everyone takes ownership of areas they will manage. 7 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:40,080 Speaker 1: Today's tip comes from Catherine's Soulman, author of the book 8 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,800 Speaker 1: The Four Jobs Club. I interviewed Catherine for one of 9 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:48,280 Speaker 1: the longer Before Breakfast episodes earlier this year. She offered 10 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:51,840 Speaker 1: lots of helpful insights. One tip was that we don't 11 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 1: want our partners and kids to ask how can I help. 12 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:57,920 Speaker 1: I mean, sure, help is nice, and it is better 13 00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:01,680 Speaker 1: that they ask than that they do nothing, But asking 14 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:09,160 Speaker 1: how can I help? Implies that everything is somebody else's responsibility. Instead, 15 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:12,080 Speaker 1: we want everyone in the household to be thinking what 16 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:16,679 Speaker 1: can I own? That is, what can I take responsibility 17 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:21,840 Speaker 1: for from start to finish. I've heard some people refer 18 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:26,200 Speaker 1: to this as vertical ownership. In other words, you own 19 00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:30,679 Speaker 1: a task stream top to bottom. There are a lot 20 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:34,440 Speaker 1: of benefits to this approach. For one thing, it's clear 21 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:39,199 Speaker 1: that no one is responsible for everything. You are responsible 22 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:42,400 Speaker 1: for some things and other people in your household are 23 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:46,840 Speaker 1: responsible for other things. This means less time and mental 24 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: bandwidth are required of you for making your household run. 25 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:56,320 Speaker 1: Vertical ownership is also more efficient if you are responsible 26 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:58,920 Speaker 1: for feeding your family, for instance, deciding what to eat, 27 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:02,400 Speaker 1: getting groceries, and cooking, then you know what you need 28 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:05,200 Speaker 1: at the grocery store. On the other hand, if it 29 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:07,919 Speaker 1: varies week to week who does the grocery shopping and cooking, 30 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:11,360 Speaker 1: or if one person cooks in another person grocery shops, 31 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:16,360 Speaker 1: there's going to be a lot more coordination required. Vertical 32 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:20,320 Speaker 1: ownership gives kids an opportunity to build skills and confidence. 33 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:24,360 Speaker 1: Even a young child who sets the table every day 34 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 1: will learn to do so reliably before too long. A 35 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:31,520 Speaker 1: kid who's in charge of dog walking will learn, perhaps 36 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:34,040 Speaker 1: the hard way, how long your dog can go without 37 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:38,440 Speaker 1: a bathroom break. For adults, vertical ownership can mean more 38 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:43,079 Speaker 1: autonomy and less worry that someone is constantly monitoring their 39 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:47,120 Speaker 1: decisions as to how you might divvy up aspects of 40 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,919 Speaker 1: home life. There are a lot of experts out there 41 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:53,280 Speaker 1: you can consult, including Eve Rodsky, who developed the fair 42 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:57,160 Speaker 1: Play method and Lyndall Shiner, who takes an analytical approach, 43 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:00,359 Speaker 1: but to get you started thinking. Some possible areas for 44 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:12,120 Speaker 1: ownership include school, childcare, kid activities, kid, medical, pets, home maintenance, cleaning, laundry, yard, food, finances, 45 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 1: extended family, and social The particular aspects of life that 46 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 1: need ownership will vary, and there may be some areas 47 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:22,760 Speaker 1: that aren't important to you and might make other people's 48 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:26,120 Speaker 1: lists or vice versa. For instance, if you don't have 49 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,920 Speaker 1: a yard, you don't need to be concerned about yard work. 50 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:32,480 Speaker 1: But the point is to get shared agreement on what 51 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:37,080 Speaker 1: the household priorities are and then divvy up ownership not 52 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:41,320 Speaker 1: just who does what task, but who's responsible for what tasks. 53 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:44,839 Speaker 1: Stream If you want to lead a full life, it's 54 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:48,360 Speaker 1: not enough for others in your household to help. Everybody 55 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:52,440 Speaker 1: needs to own certain tasks and then everyone can be 56 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:57,240 Speaker 1: more efficient in getting things done. Do you use vertical 57 00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:00,120 Speaker 1: ownership in your household? I'd love to know how you 58 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:03,880 Speaker 1: do it. You can reach me at Laura at Laura 59 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:10,360 Speaker 1: vandercam dot com. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks 60 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:14,720 Speaker 1: for listening, and here's to making the most of our time. 61 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:25,560 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, 62 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:29,200 Speaker 1: or feedback, you can reach me at Laura at Laura 63 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:38,719 Speaker 1: vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. 64 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:43,240 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, 65 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.