WEBVTT - Ep 7: The Guy With Five Girlfriends 0:00:00.600 --> 0:00:04.440 This show contains adult material, references to drugs and swearing. 0:00:05.040 --> 0:00:06.160 You have been warned. 0:00:07.880 --> 0:00:10.400 He hosts his own house sex parties. 0:00:10.520 --> 0:00:12.520 Okay, so it's like an unofficial one where you're arriving 0:00:12.520 --> 0:00:14.080 and you're like, wait, wait, what's. 0:00:13.960 --> 0:00:19.400 Going on around me? 0:00:19.440 --> 0:00:32.239 I'm a savage are. 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:27.840 You board of modern dating? 0:00:28.080 --> 0:00:30.560 Meeting the same people from the same apps in the 0:00:30.640 --> 0:00:33.360 same bar You've only chosen because it's close to your 0:00:33.360 --> 0:00:36.680 house and you can make your usual quick getaway. It's 0:00:36.720 --> 0:00:39.120 time to change the narrative on how we find love. 0:00:39.280 --> 0:00:42.080 It's time to start looking for love in all the 0:00:42.120 --> 0:00:47.200 wrong places. I'm going on a wild dating adventure, only 0:00:47.240 --> 0:00:49.680 picking people who are the total opposite of my tie. 0:00:49.800 --> 0:00:53.120 And after twenty eight of these dates in two months, 0:00:53.479 --> 0:00:56.880 will I find that special someone? Or Well, this experiment 0:00:56.960 --> 0:00:59.960 proved that I should just give up on dating altogether. 0:01:01.240 --> 0:01:05.640 It's time to find out. I'm Grace Campbell and this 0:01:06.040 --> 0:01:07.440 is twenty eight dates later. 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:17.400 Hi, Roz, Hey, that was really loud. How are you? 0:01:17.760 --> 0:01:18.440 I'm very good? 0:01:18.840 --> 0:01:19.040 Hell? 0:01:19.520 --> 0:01:23.640 What was your date this week? It was kind of mad? Okay? 0:01:24.000 --> 0:01:28.160 Do you remember that documentary series? It was called Wild 0:01:28.240 --> 0:01:30.240 Wild Country is on Netflix? 0:01:30.360 --> 0:01:30.600 Yeah? 0:01:30.640 --> 0:01:33.920 Okay, and it was like about like that commune and 0:01:33.959 --> 0:01:36.720 like everybody was like getting with each other. 0:01:36.880 --> 0:01:41.039 And what was her name, Sheila Jumber? Sheila. Yeah. So 0:01:41.240 --> 0:01:42.640 this guy that I went on a date with. 0:01:42.720 --> 0:01:45.480 First impressions, he told me he works in TV. He's 0:01:45.480 --> 0:01:48.560 a news presenter. But then like he basically started to 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:50.880 like tell me that he had like five different girlfriends 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:53.280 and they were all really good friends with each other 0:01:53.480 --> 0:01:55.880 as well, So like all of the girlfriends really good friends. 0:01:55.880 --> 0:01:57.920 Like he hangs out with all of them and also 0:01:57.960 --> 0:02:01.120 hangs out with their other boyfriends. They're basically in a 0:02:01.160 --> 0:02:04.800 friendship group of all of them going out and getting 0:02:04.840 --> 0:02:05.360 with each other. 0:02:06.000 --> 0:02:07.600 Are you in an open relationship? 0:02:07.840 --> 0:02:08.080 Yeah? 0:02:08.160 --> 0:02:11.040 Yeah, I've never been in any some vocal things. Before 0:02:11.040 --> 0:02:12.919 I met this girl, so she's sort of polly or 0:02:13.080 --> 0:02:16.280 I guess we're polyamorous. And before I'm at her and 0:02:16.320 --> 0:02:18.080 we did our thing, I would think the same with 0:02:18.160 --> 0:02:20.359 that word, I'd be like, cults, let me through, I'm 0:02:20.360 --> 0:02:22.240 going to see you know, that's gress weird. 0:02:22.680 --> 0:02:23.480 And then you do it. 0:02:23.520 --> 0:02:26.240 And in theory and in practice is very different. If 0:02:26.280 --> 0:02:29.440 you think about in theory, you're like, we're it's going 0:02:29.520 --> 0:02:31.520 to be constant sex and it's going to be emotions 0:02:31.520 --> 0:02:33.440 and like we're in practice. I feel it's a lot 0:02:33.480 --> 0:02:35.600 more ethical, it's a lot more communicative. You make a 0:02:35.639 --> 0:02:38.000 lot more friends. So the people that we both see, 0:02:38.120 --> 0:02:41.280 me and my partner, we're all friends, right, So like 0:02:41.760 --> 0:02:44.120 I text a guy that she sees more than she 0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:48.040 does because she's shared texting and we're kind of mating. Wow, 0:02:48.360 --> 0:02:51.960 like one sometimes hang out the three of you, mainly 0:02:52.000 --> 0:02:54.400 me and him, Like, just be a nice guy. 0:02:54.440 --> 0:02:57.480 It really reminded me of that show World Wild Country, 0:02:57.480 --> 0:03:00.600 because that show was my first obviously, I know, like 0:03:00.639 --> 0:03:02.679 in the seventies there was all these hippie. 0:03:02.360 --> 0:03:03.959 Communes where everybody was shagging. 0:03:04.040 --> 0:03:07.919 But like I wasn't alive then, and I remember thinking, God, 0:03:07.960 --> 0:03:09.560 that's mad, and that's kind of what When he was 0:03:09.560 --> 0:03:11.240 talking to me, I was like, well, so he was 0:03:11.320 --> 0:03:13.799 so not the kind of person that if you met him, 0:03:13.840 --> 0:03:16.280 you wouldn't think that he was like that person. 0:03:17.240 --> 0:03:21.080 My friends joke that I've got five girlfriends have at 0:03:21.120 --> 0:03:23.000 one point, I was saying, five five girls. 0:03:23.639 --> 0:03:27.560 How much do you text all of your life? How 0:03:27.639 --> 0:03:29.440 much are you communicating with them when you're not with 0:03:29.639 --> 0:03:30.200 some of them? 0:03:30.440 --> 0:03:33.760 Definitely every day, multiple, like a lot throughout the day, 0:03:34.760 --> 0:03:36.880 some of them a couple of times a week, depending 0:03:36.880 --> 0:03:38.280 on how much should I see them At that point 0:03:38.880 --> 0:03:40.560 also got to say that a lot of the girls 0:03:40.600 --> 0:03:43.040 would buy and therefore they see each other quite a lot. 0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:47.000 And we have a sort of little group of us 0:03:47.040 --> 0:03:49.920 which is like gree nice and ry and one of them. 0:03:49.920 --> 0:03:51.160 Do you ever have like group sets? 0:03:51.320 --> 0:03:54.480 Yeah? 0:03:55.160 --> 0:03:56.880 That was like I just asked him if he wanted 0:03:56.960 --> 0:03:58.800 like milk, yeah, tea. 0:03:58.880 --> 0:04:03.120 Yeah. So where's guys meet? Or did you match on field? 0:04:03.560 --> 0:04:06.160 Which is like very much that I. 0:04:06.120 --> 0:04:08.680 Don't know, Like I'm like, you met in the field, 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:10.360 and you're like, no, we met in the app field. 0:04:10.840 --> 0:04:12.960 I'm so out of touch. 0:04:13.200 --> 0:04:16.280 We met in a field. It was really romantic. It 0:04:16.320 --> 0:04:17.640 was like pride and prejudice. 0:04:18.720 --> 0:04:21.560 And then then you're all your twenty eight date lover is, 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:22.120 how did you? 0:04:23.000 --> 0:04:27.719 And yeah, exactly as mister Darcy, he lived in Soho, right, 0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:30.520 which like being from London, you never really like meet 0:04:30.560 --> 0:04:32.720 people that live in Soho because it's kind of like 0:04:32.960 --> 0:04:35.960 it's just really small, so so it means that you're 0:04:36.000 --> 0:04:38.039 really really rich if you have like a nice house 0:04:38.040 --> 0:04:41.119 and Soho and so that was kind of like mad 0:04:41.160 --> 0:04:41.360 to me. 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:47.640 When I first started living there, I was like, is 0:04:47.680 --> 0:04:50.440 it allowed people Like yeah. 0:04:50.440 --> 0:04:53.800 I never meet people who live in so yeah, that's 0:04:53.800 --> 0:04:54.320 so d. 0:04:54.680 --> 0:04:56.240 Which means I have to be within two minutes of 0:04:56.240 --> 0:04:57.320 a strip by at any one time. 0:04:57.400 --> 0:04:59.720 Right, but which is your favorite strip clo? 0:05:00.040 --> 0:05:01.880 Thanks for asking what it's sophisticate? 0:05:02.520 --> 0:05:05.040 But so sorry, is that a nick? Is that a nick? 0:05:05.240 --> 0:05:06.720 When he just said did he did? 0:05:06.760 --> 0:05:08.920 He actually just say I have a heart condition, so 0:05:08.960 --> 0:05:11.000 I have to live two minutes within a strip club. 0:05:11.120 --> 0:05:12.800 Yeah, well he's it's a joe. 0:05:12.960 --> 0:05:15.200 Yeah, I sorry, I didn't didn't land on me. 0:05:15.839 --> 0:05:17.680 It was it was also lost on me, and I 0:05:17.800 --> 0:05:19.920 was like, oh, he's about to say he's got heart 0:05:20.160 --> 0:05:22.160 has to be in at UCLH, which is like the 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:24.240 big hospital in central London. 0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:26.440 And then he was like yeah that was a big 0:05:26.520 --> 0:05:29.719 no Nan. Yeah, ro was you a fan of strip club? 0:05:29.760 --> 0:05:30.360 So we've been to one? 0:05:30.880 --> 0:05:33.360 I went to one once on holiday, was with all 0:05:33.400 --> 0:05:35.680 my friends and like, sorry, it wasn't more of it 0:05:35.680 --> 0:05:36.640 wasn't actually strip club. 0:05:36.640 --> 0:05:37.520 It was a sex club. 0:05:37.680 --> 0:05:41.000 It was like more of a sex show club and 0:05:41.279 --> 0:05:44.159 like I just remember being like what the fuck is 0:05:44.240 --> 0:05:46.480 going on? Like there was a guy on stage putting 0:05:46.520 --> 0:05:48.719 a glass off his ass, like I just remember, like 0:05:48.760 --> 0:05:49.800 I was like nineteen. 0:05:49.960 --> 0:05:52.640 I was like, I don't know how to process this. 0:05:52.680 --> 0:05:53.719 I'm way too naive. 0:05:53.920 --> 0:05:56.839 But it was amazing in terms of like all the 0:05:56.880 --> 0:05:58.599 people there. It was such a like I suppose a 0:05:58.600 --> 0:06:00.680 liberal place. It was like so much fun. 0:06:00.760 --> 0:06:03.159 But yeah, strip clubs, I've actually never gone to, like 0:06:03.200 --> 0:06:05.240 a proper strip club. I don't know why. In my head, 0:06:05.240 --> 0:06:07.040 I feel like it's quite seedy or something. 0:06:07.120 --> 0:06:09.560 I think because so many strip clubs are like four men, 0:06:09.839 --> 0:06:11.279 do you know what I mean. I'd love to go 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:14.160 to strip club where it's like for women, like Chippendale's Vibes, 0:06:14.200 --> 0:06:16.520 where it's like all the ships are men. But yeah, 0:06:16.560 --> 0:06:18.760 like what you were just saying, like those kinds of shows, 0:06:18.800 --> 0:06:20.279 I love seeing stuff like that. 0:06:20.279 --> 0:06:20.799 That's sick. 0:06:20.920 --> 0:06:22.040 Yeah, but I'm not sure if I want to go 0:06:22.080 --> 0:06:24.359 to a club that's like essentially four men, would you 0:06:24.360 --> 0:06:24.880 think it's. 0:06:24.720 --> 0:06:25.400 A red flag? 0:06:25.480 --> 0:06:28.400 If a guy or a girl was going to strip 0:06:28.400 --> 0:06:28.960 club like. 0:06:29.000 --> 0:06:33.960 Regularly occasionally, if they went, I wouldn't think it was 0:06:34.000 --> 0:06:35.640 real flag. If they went a lot, if they went 0:06:35.680 --> 0:06:37.280 on their own, I would find that a bit. 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:39.760 Yeah, I'm actually I have to say, I'm loving this 0:06:39.880 --> 0:06:42.760 insight into like how other people live. I'm like, wow, 0:06:43.000 --> 0:06:46.520 my god, this are so fascinating, Like I think so 0:06:46.839 --> 0:06:48.520 but the only thing I do think right? 0:06:48.720 --> 0:06:52.560 And I felt this like with this guy in particularly, 0:06:52.680 --> 0:06:55.560 it's like, how do you actually like have time to 0:06:55.600 --> 0:06:56.960 be seeing five different people? 0:06:57.360 --> 0:07:00.680 Yeah, you live in Soho? Like how you are enough money? 0:07:00.680 --> 0:07:05.640 It's living Soho, but you're dating five different women. I 0:07:06.120 --> 0:07:07.920 just I sort of couldn't quite wrap my hand. 0:07:08.040 --> 0:07:09.640 Do you know what? I'd love to meet the women? 0:07:09.840 --> 0:07:10.040 Yeah? 0:07:10.440 --> 0:07:12.920 I love to do want I want you to go 0:07:12.960 --> 0:07:14.000 and meet them and record it. 0:07:14.240 --> 0:07:16.520 I would love that because I'd love to know what 0:07:16.560 --> 0:07:23.920 they are like, these women. So from looking at his profile, 0:07:24.040 --> 0:07:25.960 he looks like the kind of guy who shags around 0:07:26.000 --> 0:07:27.840 but isn't necessarily polyamorous. 0:07:28.080 --> 0:07:30.040 Sorry, I would not have got that from his profile. 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:31.800 I was like, oh my god, he's like a weather 0:07:31.920 --> 0:07:34.840 man or something. He still holds them he's swimming some 0:07:35.040 --> 0:07:37.400 fresh water lake or whatever, and. 0:07:37.440 --> 0:07:41.000 It looks a bit like a right wing Tory. Yeah, 0:07:41.080 --> 0:07:42.160 yeah he kind of does. 0:07:42.280 --> 0:07:43.560 And like, you know what, when you send me this, 0:07:43.640 --> 0:07:45.120 I only looked at his photos and that's why I 0:07:45.160 --> 0:07:47.200 was shocking. You're like he's got five girlfriends. And then 0:07:47.280 --> 0:07:49.720 I just scrolled in and realized that his pronaiins are 0:07:50.040 --> 0:07:51.880 he him you your mom. 0:07:52.760 --> 0:07:57.760 Ah, those sexy parties come at me if you're funny 0:07:57.800 --> 0:07:59.640 and hot, but you don't like sex parties. 0:07:59.800 --> 0:08:02.600 I hate sex parties, and you know what is mad? 0:08:02.800 --> 0:08:06.640 Okay, Yeah, I went to a sex party last year 0:08:06.640 --> 0:08:09.440 for this documentary I was making about sex parties. 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:10.840 And then one of the things. 0:08:10.600 --> 0:08:12.720 He said was like, oh, I didn't know whether or 0:08:12.720 --> 0:08:14.360 not to say this to you, but I was actually 0:08:14.440 --> 0:08:16.360 at the sex party that you were at, and my 0:08:16.440 --> 0:08:19.800 friend was like, oh, look there's Grace Campbell and I 0:08:19.880 --> 0:08:21.720 was like, that's kind of weird. 0:08:22.600 --> 0:08:23.720 We were actually in the same party. 0:08:23.760 --> 0:08:25.680 We were at the same kenning Kin's party where you 0:08:25.720 --> 0:08:26.800 went with your film crew. 0:08:27.720 --> 0:08:28.720 Were you at that party? 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:31.800 I remember chaining to go and she's like, oh, yeah, 0:08:31.800 --> 0:08:32.240 I'm not. 0:08:32.120 --> 0:08:32.680 Gonna lie that. 0:08:32.760 --> 0:08:34.760 Maybe that I felt quite self. 0:08:34.480 --> 0:08:38.719 Contra but that's I would say. I'm self consciously like 0:08:38.720 --> 0:08:40.080 I didn't do anything of that. I was on that 0:08:40.120 --> 0:08:41.600 same sort of VIP floor. 0:08:41.800 --> 0:08:44.640 Right, Okay, did you go with your partner? 0:08:44.920 --> 0:08:48.240 No? I went with a girl who actually didn't make 0:08:48.280 --> 0:08:49.760 it because she was on a period. 0:08:50.760 --> 0:08:53.079 Okay, sorry, sorry, can I just say the way he 0:08:53.240 --> 0:08:56.240 just swallowed the word period is so weird? 0:08:56.400 --> 0:08:59.280 He you and your film crew? We you say, like 0:09:00.120 --> 0:09:02.520 you and you're a film girul. I was like what, 0:09:02.760 --> 0:09:04.520 I'd say, what's going on? 0:09:04.679 --> 0:09:04.880 Is this? 0:09:04.960 --> 0:09:07.400 That man not on TV? And okay, so. 0:09:09.480 --> 0:09:09.800 She was on. 0:09:11.720 --> 0:09:14.040 So I'm so fascinated. 0:09:14.320 --> 0:09:17.760 I only heard of Killing Kittens sex parties like last 0:09:17.800 --> 0:09:20.280 month because I am clearly like ten years. 0:09:20.120 --> 0:09:24.280 Mind everyone, but like, is that not the really explain 0:09:24.320 --> 0:09:24.840 what that is. 0:09:25.400 --> 0:09:30.080 It's the kind of like it's the most not necessarily 0:09:30.240 --> 0:09:32.959 high end, but it's very heterosexual like a lot of 0:09:33.000 --> 0:09:35.400 the other big sex parties are really like queer based, 0:09:35.720 --> 0:09:38.839 and Killing Kittens is like really straight and also quite 0:09:38.840 --> 0:09:40.920 like middle age and like middle class. 0:09:41.520 --> 0:09:42.880 And he hosts them as well. 0:09:43.320 --> 0:09:46.040 He hosts his own sex parties. 0:09:45.640 --> 0:09:48.320 And he what are they called? I didn't ask that. 0:09:48.520 --> 0:09:49.840 I think they were. 0:09:49.720 --> 0:09:52.720 More like house sex parties and like basically like you 0:09:52.760 --> 0:09:54.400 know her saying he's got like five girlfriends and they 0:09:54.400 --> 0:09:56.040 will have like different boyfriends and they will like get 0:09:56.040 --> 0:09:56.560 with each other. 0:09:57.000 --> 0:09:58.480 I think they just have orgies. 0:09:58.920 --> 0:10:02.079 Okay, so it's like an a fishing one where you're right, yeah, wait, 0:10:02.160 --> 0:10:02.880 what's going on? 0:10:04.360 --> 0:10:06.439 Yeah, it's like it's like you thought you were going 0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:09.720 around for a Eurovision party and then suddenly like everyone's shagging. 0:10:23.120 --> 0:10:26.240 Talked about probably amateur a long time. I feel like spokesperson. 0:10:26.600 --> 0:10:27.200 What else do you do? 0:10:27.280 --> 0:10:30.720 What else are you into? 0:10:28.280 --> 0:10:34.520 What are your hobby. 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:36.400 Hobbies? 0:10:36.840 --> 0:10:38.680 Speaking of the Chinese, because I lived in China for 0:10:38.679 --> 0:10:41.200 a year, super social, so I like sort of the 0:10:41.679 --> 0:10:43.920 so I do organize parties, sort of sexy parties, even 0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:45.680 though I'm not really into them myself. I quite like 0:10:45.760 --> 0:10:46.960 organizing the I'm quite a hosting. 0:10:47.400 --> 0:10:47.640 Wow. 0:10:48.520 --> 0:10:50.400 We do have these like around the place. 0:10:50.320 --> 0:10:52.400 That's not fun, that's all a bit more like what 0:10:52.480 --> 0:10:55.520 I imagined would be my ideal sex party scenarios, like. 0:10:55.840 --> 0:11:00.160 Twelve kind of a house part people and we're all 0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:03.480 kind of we usually like this core group know each 0:11:03.480 --> 0:11:05.000 other and then we bring friends that we know. 0:11:06.000 --> 0:11:07.800 No sorry, one thing I want to know about. 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:10.360 I know he said a lot there, but like does 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:11.800 he tell the airbnb people? 0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:17.720 Well probably not, okay, and that's pretty I I do 0:11:17.800 --> 0:11:19.199 that loads. I know loads of people that are just 0:11:19.240 --> 0:11:21.480 like run an Airbnb and then have a massive party. 0:11:21.679 --> 0:11:23.720 Who's cleaning that up? I know. 0:11:24.600 --> 0:11:24.880 No. 0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:29.920 I also him being like I don't enjoy sex parties, 0:11:29.960 --> 0:11:32.160 but I love hosting them, said. 0:11:31.960 --> 0:11:34.720 No one ever, Yeah, like what do you doing? Just watching? 0:11:35.800 --> 0:11:39.560 Sorry, that's just such a lie. He obviously loves sex parties. 0:11:40.400 --> 0:11:42.600 He's mentioned them like three times at this point. 0:11:42.679 --> 0:11:44.440 He should he should have just been a wedding planet. 0:11:44.679 --> 0:11:46.800 I also have to say, like, this is when I 0:11:46.840 --> 0:11:49.680 know that I'm like bored, because it gave me the 0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:53.040 hearing myself ask him if he had any hobbies, because 0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:56.400 that's the kind of chat that like, I'm like, God, 0:11:56.480 --> 0:11:58.920 that is like the sort of Google what's a good 0:11:59.000 --> 0:11:59.680 question to ask? 0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:00.840 And that's it? 0:12:01.120 --> 0:12:03.480 And that really that was when I was like, Okay, 0:12:03.480 --> 0:12:05.600 I'm slightly checking out here, and I was like, so, 0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:11.360 do you have any or bees? It felt like I 0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:13.880 was with like someone who's like trying to be a 0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:16.360 cult leader, and he was kind of like trying to 0:12:16.440 --> 0:12:19.720 hypnotize me into why polyamory is the only way forward, 0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:22.360 and at moments I was like, gorgea making it sound amazing. 0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:24.560 But then I kept like sort of blinking and being 0:12:24.640 --> 0:12:26.680 like is this man like got me under a spell? 0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:29.760 The way A very very monoglous friend of mine, No, 0:12:29.800 --> 0:12:33.440 second before marriage friend when he first had his first son, 0:12:33.840 --> 0:12:36.120 was worried when his second child was on the way, 0:12:36.840 --> 0:12:39.280 was I'm scared that I can't love my second son 0:12:39.280 --> 0:12:41.280 as much as I can love my first song. But 0:12:41.360 --> 0:12:44.680 your capacity for love grows. So I think that's a 0:12:44.679 --> 0:12:46.760 really good way to look at it, because I think 0:12:46.800 --> 0:12:49.400 you can love more than one person, you love them 0:12:49.400 --> 0:12:49.960 in different ways. 0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:52.040 But I still think loving your kid is different than 0:12:52.040 --> 0:12:55.200 being in law. You think, but the romantic partner, yeah, 0:12:56.559 --> 0:12:57.959 I would disagree. 0:12:57.679 --> 0:13:03.040 Really, yeah, yeah, I would say you have different things. 0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:06.640 Really really deep soulmate level relationships with my best friends, right, 0:13:07.040 --> 0:13:09.800 and I've got like different, very different relationships, and I've 0:13:09.800 --> 0:13:12.400 got a lot of best friends, which is like this 0:13:12.559 --> 0:13:15.880 ongoing joke in my family that like. 0:13:15.120 --> 0:13:16.560 I have more best friends than anyone. 0:13:17.240 --> 0:13:19.320 But I feel that's a different kind of love for 0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:21.520 what I felt for my ex toy friends. 0:13:21.600 --> 0:13:22.240 Do you know what I mean? 0:13:22.360 --> 0:13:28.559 Yeah, I can't believe he compared loving like being polyamorous 0:13:28.600 --> 0:13:29.760 to loving your children. 0:13:30.120 --> 0:13:32.120 Yeah, but you know what I have to say, Like 0:13:32.960 --> 0:13:34.920 he went there and I was like, for a moment, 0:13:35.000 --> 0:13:38.719 I was like, oh no, no, he is hypnotizing us. 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:39.320 No I know. 0:13:39.679 --> 0:13:42.760 But also that is not a comparison. No, I'm sorry, 0:13:42.840 --> 0:13:45.719 it's not the same. Like it's not the same at all. 0:13:45.840 --> 0:13:48.040 It's a completely different type of love. 0:13:48.240 --> 0:13:50.080 I just thought that was weird and I was like 0:13:50.360 --> 0:13:52.000 he it was like he was like. 0:13:51.960 --> 0:13:54.520 Slightly clutching at straws to like persuade me. 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:56.719 One of the good things I like about it is 0:13:56.760 --> 0:13:59.840 that the sort of monogamous thing is like very foxed 0:13:59.880 --> 0:14:01.520 in right's been there for centuries. 0:14:01.160 --> 0:14:03.559 And it hasn't changed, whereas this is kind of like 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:06.439 you make your own works, is much more what humans 0:14:06.480 --> 0:14:07.000 are about. 0:14:07.080 --> 0:14:09.040 And then from that, I've just noticed sort of many 0:14:09.120 --> 0:14:11.160 other sort of healthy things come from it, especially for 0:14:11.240 --> 0:14:15.480 guys where jealousy insecurity are quite a big factor. 0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:17.479 Not talking lack of communication. 0:14:17.880 --> 0:14:20.560 It really forces you to do that general communication is 0:14:20.560 --> 0:14:23.160 a lot higher, especially for white English guy that's generally 0:14:23.200 --> 0:14:26.240 not the case, where often you sort of build up 0:14:26.400 --> 0:14:28.320 emotions and anxiety and it all comes out in one thing. 0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:29.920 And so I don't know, I think it's healthy in 0:14:29.960 --> 0:14:32.920 that respect because I feel like monogamy is often based 0:14:32.960 --> 0:14:35.880 on stuff that isn't really human to us. It's based 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:38.360 on what a guy wrote in the Bible years ago, 0:14:38.440 --> 0:14:41.200 or whatever, you know, was set up for the patriarchy. 0:14:41.560 --> 0:14:43.440 He's really going in trying to convince you, though. 0:14:43.480 --> 0:14:46.680 He was hammering it very like it was kind of 0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:48.920 always spoke about. And then it got to the end 0:14:48.920 --> 0:14:51.480 of the day and I was like, we haven't spoken 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:55.080 about anything else apart from your polyamory. And he was 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:57.600 telling me about like like his parents found out recently 0:14:57.640 --> 0:15:00.400 that he was like polyamorous, and then you know, at 0:15:00.400 --> 0:15:03.040 the beginning, they didn't really like his dad didn't really 0:15:03.040 --> 0:15:04.720 get it. But then after a while, it's fine. He 0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:06.960 had his birthday and he took all of his girlfriends 0:15:07.360 --> 0:15:10.680 to his birthday with his parents and they were all 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:12.960 there having his birthday dinner or his girlfriends. 0:15:12.960 --> 0:15:15.440 Well, opened your family about it. 0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:18.880 Well, I didn't have the conversation over the phone. I 0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:21.680 did it in person, and that was quite difficult because 0:15:21.720 --> 0:15:24.200 my dad's eyebrows were like off his face just talking 0:15:24.200 --> 0:15:25.440 to him, my mum and I could just see out 0:15:25.440 --> 0:15:27.080 of my periphery Dad's eyebrows going on. 0:15:27.360 --> 0:15:30.000 That's so Dad, that's so like a dad thing to do, 0:15:30.880 --> 0:15:32.800 not say anything but react facially. 0:15:33.200 --> 0:15:36.040 But then when they met her, it was so natural 0:15:36.120 --> 0:15:38.120 because they met her with my other partner because their friends. 0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:40.520 It was like my birthday dinner and I brought other 0:15:40.560 --> 0:15:42.680 friends and then they were there as well, and we'll 0:15:42.720 --> 0:15:43.600 just hang out as a group. 0:15:43.760 --> 0:15:45.840 And that made him much more. 0:15:46.280 --> 0:15:49.360 Is because it's basically like your group of friends, like 0:15:49.360 --> 0:15:51.400 a pace, right, and it's not like and that they 0:15:51.480 --> 0:15:54.120 arrived together, the two girls because their maids, and they 0:15:54.120 --> 0:15:56.480 were like, oh right, well, they're so distinguished. 0:15:56.520 --> 0:15:58.960 All the ideas that this is weird. 0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:02.000 Isn't that mental? That is mental? 0:16:02.200 --> 0:16:05.040 He was hypnotizing me on how amazing polyamory is, and 0:16:05.040 --> 0:16:07.640 then I was kind of challenging him on some of it. 0:16:08.480 --> 0:16:09.080 So I went on the. 0:16:09.120 --> 0:16:13.560 Day the other day with a girl who is married 0:16:14.440 --> 0:16:16.680 but the opening of the relationship has a husband who 0:16:16.720 --> 0:16:18.280 has the same name as me and also the same 0:16:18.360 --> 0:16:20.000 nickname as we. But anyway, we had a lot of common. 0:16:20.040 --> 0:16:22.200 We got on really well, and we met very quickly, 0:16:22.320 --> 0:16:24.040 just for a quick drink, just to be like. And 0:16:24.120 --> 0:16:27.480 afterwards she was like, I liked you too much. I'm 0:16:27.480 --> 0:16:30.080 not here for this, right, I'm here for like you know, 0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:32.120 I'm here. I'm not here for that. I'm not And 0:16:32.160 --> 0:16:34.640 I was like, interesting, because I can do that as well. 0:16:34.760 --> 0:16:36.400 But I don't know if I could do that. 0:16:36.520 --> 0:16:38.280 Yeah, I don't have those feelings when I'm. 0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:40.960 Yeah, especially at the beginning of opening up a relationship, 0:16:41.120 --> 0:16:42.120 I would freak out. 0:16:42.160 --> 0:16:44.200 I think that was me, Yeah, because the rules would 0:16:44.200 --> 0:16:46.120 be obviously, this is purely physical. 0:16:46.160 --> 0:16:48.520 This is not so I don't know it's also. 0:16:48.400 --> 0:16:51.840 But also I don't know if I don't know, is 0:16:51.880 --> 0:16:55.000 anything ever purely vision if it's happening more than once. 0:16:55.080 --> 0:16:57.440 I think one night Stan can be purely physical. And 0:16:57.520 --> 0:16:59.560 I think I've literally had seven people before that. I've 0:16:59.600 --> 0:17:00.880 not even boken a word. 0:17:00.680 --> 0:17:04.840 To wait, stuff the stuff, the cliff grace, what how 0:17:04.880 --> 0:17:07.920 does that even work? Where were you and like what 0:17:08.040 --> 0:17:09.160 were you signing to them? 0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:11.720 No, I just feel like like I, you know, it's happened. 0:17:11.760 --> 0:17:13.359