Speaker 1: This show contains adult material, references to drugs and swearing.
Speaker 2: You have been warned.
Speaker 1: He hosts his own house sex parties.
Speaker 3: Okay, so it's like an unofficial one where you're arriving
Speaker 3: and you're like, wait, wait, what's.
Speaker 2: Going on around me?
Speaker 4: I'm a savage are.
Speaker 2: You board of modern dating?
Speaker 1: Meeting the same people from the same apps in the
Speaker 1: same bar You've only chosen because it's close to your
Speaker 1: house and you can make your usual quick getaway. It's
Speaker 1: time to change the narrative on how we find love.
Speaker 1: It's time to start looking for love in all the
Speaker 1: wrong places. I'm going on a wild dating adventure, only
Speaker 1: picking people who are the total opposite of my tie.
Speaker 1: And after twenty eight of these dates in two months,
Speaker 1: will I find that special someone? Or Well, this experiment
Speaker 1: proved that I should just give up on dating altogether.
Speaker 1: It's time to find out. I'm Grace Campbell and this
Speaker 1: is twenty eight dates later.
Speaker 2: Hi, Roz, Hey, that was really loud. How are you?
Speaker 2: I'm very good?
Speaker 3: Hell?
Speaker 2: What was your date this week? It was kind of mad? Okay?
Speaker 1: Do you remember that documentary series? It was called Wild
Speaker 1: Wild Country is on Netflix?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay, and it was like about like that commune and
Speaker 1: like everybody was like getting with each other.
Speaker 2: And what was her name, Sheila Jumber? Sheila. Yeah. So
Speaker 2: this guy that I went on a date with.
Speaker 1: First impressions, he told me he works in TV. He's
Speaker 1: a news presenter. But then like he basically started to
Speaker 1: like tell me that he had like five different girlfriends
Speaker 1: and they were all really good friends with each other
Speaker 1: as well, So like all of the girlfriends really good friends.
Speaker 1: Like he hangs out with all of them and also
Speaker 1: hangs out with their other boyfriends. They're basically in a
Speaker 1: friendship group of all of them going out and getting
Speaker 1: with each other.
Speaker 2: Are you in an open relationship?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I've never been in any some vocal things. Before
Speaker 6: I met this girl, so she's sort of polly or
Speaker 6: I guess we're polyamorous. And before I'm at her and
Speaker 6: we did our thing, I would think the same with
Speaker 6: that word, I'd be like, cults, let me through, I'm
Speaker 6: going to see you know, that's gress weird.
Speaker 5: And then you do it.
Speaker 6: And in theory and in practice is very different. If
Speaker 6: you think about in theory, you're like, we're it's going
Speaker 6: to be constant sex and it's going to be emotions
Speaker 6: and like we're in practice. I feel it's a lot
Speaker 6: more ethical, it's a lot more communicative. You make a
Speaker 6: lot more friends. So the people that we both see,
Speaker 6: me and my partner, we're all friends, right, So like
Speaker 6: I text a guy that she sees more than she
Speaker 6: does because she's shared texting and we're kind of mating. Wow,
Speaker 6: like one sometimes hang out the three of you, mainly
Speaker 6: me and him, Like, just be a nice guy.
Speaker 1: It really reminded me of that show World Wild Country,
Speaker 1: because that show was my first obviously, I know, like
Speaker 1: in the seventies there was all these hippie.
Speaker 2: Communes where everybody was shagging.
Speaker 1: But like I wasn't alive then, and I remember thinking, God,
Speaker 1: that's mad, and that's kind of what When he was
Speaker 1: talking to me, I was like, well, so he was
Speaker 1: so not the kind of person that if you met him,
Speaker 1: you wouldn't think that he was like that person.
Speaker 6: My friends joke that I've got five girlfriends have at
Speaker 6: one point, I was saying, five five girls.
Speaker 1: How much do you text all of your life? How
Speaker 1: much are you communicating with them when you're not with
Speaker 1: some of them?
Speaker 6: Definitely every day, multiple, like a lot throughout the day,
Speaker 6: some of them a couple of times a week, depending
Speaker 6: on how much should I see them At that point
Speaker 6: also got to say that a lot of the girls
Speaker 6: would buy and therefore they see each other quite a lot.
Speaker 6: And we have a sort of little group of us
Speaker 6: which is like gree nice and ry and one of them.
Speaker 2: Do you ever have like group sets?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: That was like I just asked him if he wanted
Speaker 1: like milk, yeah, tea.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So where's guys meet? Or did you match on field?
Speaker 2: Which is like very much that I.
Speaker 3: Don't know, Like I'm like, you met in the field,
Speaker 3: and you're like, no, we met in the app field.
Speaker 2: I'm so out of touch.
Speaker 1: We met in a field. It was really romantic. It
Speaker 1: was like pride and prejudice.
Speaker 3: And then then you're all your twenty eight date lover is,
Speaker 3: how did you?
Speaker 1: And yeah, exactly as mister Darcy, he lived in Soho, right,
Speaker 1: which like being from London, you never really like meet
Speaker 1: people that live in Soho because it's kind of like
Speaker 1: it's just really small, so so it means that you're
Speaker 1: really really rich if you have like a nice house
Speaker 1: and Soho and so that was kind of like mad
Speaker 1: to me.
Speaker 6: When I first started living there, I was like, is
Speaker 6: it allowed people Like yeah.
Speaker 1: I never meet people who live in so yeah, that's
Speaker 1: so d.
Speaker 6: Which means I have to be within two minutes of
Speaker 6: a strip by at any one time.
Speaker 2: Right, but which is your favorite strip clo?
Speaker 5: Thanks for asking what it's sophisticate?
Speaker 2: But so sorry, is that a nick? Is that a nick?
Speaker 2: When he just said did he did?
Speaker 3: He actually just say I have a heart condition, so
Speaker 3: I have to live two minutes within a strip club.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well he's it's a joe.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I sorry, I didn't didn't land on me.
Speaker 1: It was it was also lost on me, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, he's about to say he's got heart
Speaker 1: has to be in at UCLH, which is like the
Speaker 1: big hospital in central London.
Speaker 2: And then he was like yeah that was a big
Speaker 2: no Nan. Yeah, ro was you a fan of strip club?
Speaker 2: So we've been to one?
Speaker 3: I went to one once on holiday, was with all
Speaker 3: my friends and like, sorry, it wasn't more of it
Speaker 3: wasn't actually strip club.
Speaker 2: It was a sex club.
Speaker 3: It was like more of a sex show club and
Speaker 3: like I just remember being like what the fuck is
Speaker 3: going on? Like there was a guy on stage putting
Speaker 3: a glass off his ass, like I just remember, like
Speaker 3: I was like nineteen.
Speaker 2: I was like, I don't know how to process this.
Speaker 2: I'm way too naive.
Speaker 3: But it was amazing in terms of like all the
Speaker 3: people there. It was such a like I suppose a
Speaker 3: liberal place. It was like so much fun.
Speaker 2: But yeah, strip clubs, I've actually never gone to, like
Speaker 2: a proper strip club. I don't know why. In my head,
Speaker 2: I feel like it's quite seedy or something.
Speaker 1: I think because so many strip clubs are like four men,
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean. I'd love to go
Speaker 1: to strip club where it's like for women, like Chippendale's Vibes,
Speaker 1: where it's like all the ships are men. But yeah,
Speaker 1: like what you were just saying, like those kinds of shows,
Speaker 1: I love seeing stuff like that.
Speaker 2: That's sick.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm not sure if I want to go
Speaker 1: to a club that's like essentially four men, would you
Speaker 1: think it's.
Speaker 2: A red flag?
Speaker 3: If a guy or a girl was going to strip
Speaker 3: club like.
Speaker 1: Regularly occasionally, if they went, I wouldn't think it was
Speaker 1: real flag. If they went a lot, if they went
Speaker 1: on their own, I would find that a bit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm actually I have to say, I'm loving this
Speaker 3: insight into like how other people live. I'm like, wow,
Speaker 3: my god, this are so fascinating, Like I think so
Speaker 3: but the only thing I do think right?
Speaker 1: And I felt this like with this guy in particularly,
Speaker 1: it's like, how do you actually like have time to
Speaker 1: be seeing five different people?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you live in Soho? Like how you are enough money?
Speaker 1: It's living Soho, but you're dating five different women. I
Speaker 1: just I sort of couldn't quite wrap my hand.
Speaker 2: Do you know what? I'd love to meet the women?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I love to do want I want you to go
Speaker 3: and meet them and record it.
Speaker 1: I would love that because I'd love to know what
Speaker 1: they are like, these women. So from looking at his profile,
Speaker 1: he looks like the kind of guy who shags around
Speaker 1: but isn't necessarily polyamorous.
Speaker 3: Sorry, I would not have got that from his profile.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh my god, he's like a weather
Speaker 3: man or something. He still holds them he's swimming some
Speaker 3: fresh water lake or whatever, and.
Speaker 2: It looks a bit like a right wing Tory. Yeah,
Speaker 2: yeah he kind of does.
Speaker 3: And like, you know what, when you send me this,
Speaker 3: I only looked at his photos and that's why I
Speaker 3: was shocking. You're like he's got five girlfriends. And then
Speaker 3: I just scrolled in and realized that his pronaiins are
Speaker 3: he him you your mom.
Speaker 1: Ah, those sexy parties come at me if you're funny
Speaker 1: and hot, but you don't like sex parties.
Speaker 2: I hate sex parties, and you know what is mad?
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, I went to a sex party last year
Speaker 1: for this documentary I was making about sex parties.
Speaker 2: And then one of the things.
Speaker 1: He said was like, oh, I didn't know whether or
Speaker 1: not to say this to you, but I was actually
Speaker 1: at the sex party that you were at, and my
Speaker 1: friend was like, oh, look there's Grace Campbell and I
Speaker 1: was like, that's kind of weird.
Speaker 5: We were actually in the same party.
Speaker 6: We were at the same kenning Kin's party where you
Speaker 6: went with your film crew.
Speaker 2: Were you at that party?
Speaker 6: I remember chaining to go and she's like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 6: I'm not.
Speaker 1: Gonna lie that.
Speaker 2: Maybe that I felt quite self.
Speaker 6: Contra but that's I would say. I'm self consciously like
Speaker 6: I didn't do anything of that. I was on that
Speaker 6: same sort of VIP floor.
Speaker 2: Right, Okay, did you go with your partner?
Speaker 6: No? I went with a girl who actually didn't make
Speaker 6: it because she was on a period.
Speaker 7: Okay, sorry, sorry, can I just say the way he
Speaker 7: just swallowed the word period is so weird?
Speaker 2: He you and your film crew? We you say, like
Speaker 2: you and you're a film girul. I was like what,
Speaker 2: I'd say, what's going on?
Speaker 1: Is this?
Speaker 2: That man not on TV? And okay, so.
Speaker 3: She was on.
Speaker 2: So I'm so fascinated.
Speaker 3: I only heard of Killing Kittens sex parties like last
Speaker 3: month because I am clearly like ten years.
Speaker 2: Mind everyone, but like, is that not the really explain
Speaker 2: what that is.
Speaker 1: It's the kind of like it's the most not necessarily
Speaker 1: high end, but it's very heterosexual like a lot of
Speaker 1: the other big sex parties are really like queer based,
Speaker 1: and Killing Kittens is like really straight and also quite
Speaker 1: like middle age and like middle class.
Speaker 2: And he hosts them as well.
Speaker 1: He hosts his own sex parties.
Speaker 7: And he what are they called? I didn't ask that.
Speaker 7: I think they were.
Speaker 1: More like house sex parties and like basically like you
Speaker 1: know her saying he's got like five girlfriends and they
Speaker 1: will have like different boyfriends and they will like get
Speaker 1: with each other.
Speaker 2: I think they just have orgies.
Speaker 3: Okay, so it's like an a fishing one where you're right, yeah, wait,
Speaker 3: what's going on?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like it's like you thought you were going
Speaker 1: around for a Eurovision party and then suddenly like everyone's shagging.
Speaker 5: Talked about probably amateur a long time. I feel like spokesperson.
Speaker 5: What else do you do?
Speaker 1: What else are you into?
Speaker 2: What are your hobby.
Speaker 5: Hobbies?
Speaker 6: Speaking of the Chinese, because I lived in China for
Speaker 6: a year, super social, so I like sort of the
Speaker 6: so I do organize parties, sort of sexy parties, even
Speaker 6: though I'm not really into them myself. I quite like
Speaker 6: organizing the I'm quite a hosting.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 5: We do have these like around the place.
Speaker 1: That's not fun, that's all a bit more like what
Speaker 1: I imagined would be my ideal sex party scenarios, like.
Speaker 6: Twelve kind of a house part people and we're all
Speaker 6: kind of we usually like this core group know each
Speaker 6: other and then we bring friends that we know.
Speaker 2: No sorry, one thing I want to know about.
Speaker 3: I know he said a lot there, but like does
Speaker 3: he tell the airbnb people?
Speaker 1: Well probably not, okay, and that's pretty I I do
Speaker 1: that loads. I know loads of people that are just
Speaker 1: like run an Airbnb and then have a massive party.
Speaker 2: Who's cleaning that up? I know.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: I also him being like I don't enjoy sex parties,
Speaker 1: but I love hosting them, said.
Speaker 2: No one ever, Yeah, like what do you doing? Just watching?
Speaker 1: Sorry, that's just such a lie. He obviously loves sex parties.
Speaker 1: He's mentioned them like three times at this point.
Speaker 2: He should he should have just been a wedding planet.
Speaker 1: I also have to say, like, this is when I
Speaker 1: know that I'm like bored, because it gave me the
Speaker 1: hearing myself ask him if he had any hobbies, because
Speaker 1: that's the kind of chat that like, I'm like, God,
Speaker 1: that is like the sort of Google what's a good
Speaker 1: question to ask?
Speaker 2: And that's it?
Speaker 1: And that really that was when I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm slightly checking out here, and I was like, so,
Speaker 1: do you have any or bees? It felt like I
Speaker 1: was with like someone who's like trying to be a
Speaker 1: cult leader, and he was kind of like trying to
Speaker 1: hypnotize me into why polyamory is the only way forward,
Speaker 1: and at moments I was like, gorgea making it sound amazing.
Speaker 1: But then I kept like sort of blinking and being
Speaker 1: like is this man like got me under a spell?
Speaker 6: The way A very very monoglous friend of mine, No,
Speaker 6: second before marriage friend when he first had his first son,
Speaker 6: was worried when his second child was on the way,
Speaker 6: was I'm scared that I can't love my second son
Speaker 6: as much as I can love my first song. But
Speaker 6: your capacity for love grows. So I think that's a
Speaker 6: really good way to look at it, because I think
Speaker 6: you can love more than one person, you love them
Speaker 6: in different ways.
Speaker 1: But I still think loving your kid is different than
Speaker 1: being in law. You think, but the romantic partner, yeah,
Speaker 1: I would disagree.
Speaker 6: Really, yeah, yeah, I would say you have different things.
Speaker 1: Really really deep soulmate level relationships with my best friends, right,
Speaker 1: and I've got like different, very different relationships, and I've
Speaker 1: got a lot of best friends, which is like this
Speaker 1: ongoing joke in my family that like.
Speaker 2: I have more best friends than anyone.
Speaker 1: But I feel that's a different kind of love for
Speaker 1: what I felt for my ex toy friends.
Speaker 5: Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't believe he compared loving like being polyamorous
Speaker 1: to loving your children.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you know what I have to say, Like
Speaker 3: he went there and I was like, for a moment,
Speaker 3: I was like, oh no, no, he is hypnotizing us.
Speaker 2: No I know.
Speaker 7: But also that is not a comparison. No, I'm sorry,
Speaker 7: it's not the same. Like it's not the same at all.
Speaker 7: It's a completely different type of love.
Speaker 1: I just thought that was weird and I was like
Speaker 1: he it was like he was like.
Speaker 2: Slightly clutching at straws to like persuade me.
Speaker 6: One of the good things I like about it is
Speaker 6: that the sort of monogamous thing is like very foxed
Speaker 6: in right's been there for centuries.
Speaker 5: And it hasn't changed, whereas this is kind of like
Speaker 5: you make your own works, is much more what humans
Speaker 5: are about.
Speaker 6: And then from that, I've just noticed sort of many
Speaker 6: other sort of healthy things come from it, especially for
Speaker 6: guys where jealousy insecurity are quite a big factor.
Speaker 5: Not talking lack of communication.
Speaker 6: It really forces you to do that general communication is
Speaker 6: a lot higher, especially for white English guy that's generally
Speaker 6: not the case, where often you sort of build up
Speaker 6: emotions and anxiety and it all comes out in one thing.
Speaker 6: And so I don't know, I think it's healthy in
Speaker 6: that respect because I feel like monogamy is often based
Speaker 6: on stuff that isn't really human to us. It's based
Speaker 6: on what a guy wrote in the Bible years ago,
Speaker 6: or whatever, you know, was set up for the patriarchy.
Speaker 3: He's really going in trying to convince you, though.
Speaker 1: He was hammering it very like it was kind of
Speaker 1: always spoke about. And then it got to the end
Speaker 1: of the day and I was like, we haven't spoken
Speaker 1: about anything else apart from your polyamory. And he was
Speaker 1: telling me about like like his parents found out recently
Speaker 1: that he was like polyamorous, and then you know, at
Speaker 1: the beginning, they didn't really like his dad didn't really
Speaker 1: get it. But then after a while, it's fine. He
Speaker 1: had his birthday and he took all of his girlfriends
Speaker 1: to his birthday with his parents and they were all
Speaker 1: there having his birthday dinner or his girlfriends.
Speaker 2: Well, opened your family about it.
Speaker 6: Well, I didn't have the conversation over the phone. I
Speaker 6: did it in person, and that was quite difficult because
Speaker 6: my dad's eyebrows were like off his face just talking
Speaker 6: to him, my mum and I could just see out
Speaker 6: of my periphery Dad's eyebrows going on.
Speaker 1: That's so Dad, that's so like a dad thing to do,
Speaker 1: not say anything but react facially.
Speaker 6: But then when they met her, it was so natural
Speaker 6: because they met her with my other partner because their friends.
Speaker 6: It was like my birthday dinner and I brought other
Speaker 6: friends and then they were there as well, and we'll
Speaker 6: just hang out as a group.
Speaker 5: And that made him much more.
Speaker 1: Is because it's basically like your group of friends, like
Speaker 1: a pace, right, and it's not like and that they
Speaker 1: arrived together, the two girls because their maids, and they
Speaker 1: were like, oh right, well, they're so distinguished.
Speaker 5: All the ideas that this is weird.
Speaker 2: Isn't that mental? That is mental?
Speaker 1: He was hypnotizing me on how amazing polyamory is, and
Speaker 1: then I was kind of challenging him on some of it.
Speaker 5: So I went on the.
Speaker 6: Day the other day with a girl who is married
Speaker 6: but the opening of the relationship has a husband who
Speaker 6: has the same name as me and also the same
Speaker 6: nickname as we. But anyway, we had a lot of common.
Speaker 6: We got on really well, and we met very quickly,
Speaker 6: just for a quick drink, just to be like. And
Speaker 6: afterwards she was like, I liked you too much. I'm
Speaker 6: not here for this, right, I'm here for like you know,
Speaker 6: I'm here. I'm not here for that. I'm not And
Speaker 6: I was like, interesting, because I can do that as well.
Speaker 2: But I don't know if I could do that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't have those feelings when I'm.
Speaker 1: Yeah, especially at the beginning of opening up a relationship,
Speaker 1: I would freak out.
Speaker 6: I think that was me, Yeah, because the rules would
Speaker 6: be obviously, this is purely physical.
Speaker 5: This is not so I don't know it's also.
Speaker 1: But also I don't know if I don't know, is
Speaker 1: anything ever purely vision if it's happening more than once.
Speaker 1: I think one night Stan can be purely physical. And
Speaker 1: I think I've literally had seven people before that. I've
Speaker 1: not even boken a word.
Speaker 3: To wait, stuff the stuff, the cliff grace, what how
Speaker 3: does that even work? Where were you and like what
Speaker 3: were you signing to them?
Speaker 1: No, I just feel like like I, you know, it's happened.
Speaker 1: It happened to me last summer and Marseille, Like I
Speaker 1: was in a club and I just like looked at
Speaker 1: this guy and then we started kissing like each other,
Speaker 1: and then we you know, left and we went and
Speaker 1: had sex. And so my friends call it my like
Speaker 1: a maturist. And my friends say, like, I have this
Speaker 1: like sometimes very rare.
Speaker 2: Now it used to be more frequent by you.
Speaker 1: Used to have this like ball like a b U
Speaker 1: l L, like a like the animal like ball mode
Speaker 1: where I'd be out and I just would suddenly be
Speaker 1: like I need to have sex, and so I just
Speaker 1: like look at someone and I'd be like, let's have sex.
Speaker 3: You're like a mine. You're like that, that's what you
Speaker 3: should be for alloween. You should dress the mine like
Speaker 3: a sex mine.
Speaker 2: And I bet I would shag.
Speaker 1: I bet I would shag another mine.
Speaker 2: Carry on the cliff.
Speaker 1: But I had to have ongoing sex and like physical
Speaker 1: intimacy or someone.
Speaker 2: I find it's hard for that to be Like I.
Speaker 6: Think you can have really good sex with someone that
Speaker 6: you're purely sexually. I think I'd like that before where
Speaker 6: I for some reason, I know they're really hot and
Speaker 6: they're really nice, but for whatever reason, I have not
Speaker 6: had that. You know, I don't massively fancy them or
Speaker 6: I'm not really intoent And I know that for some
Speaker 6: people would be like a juxtaposition, but for me that's happened.
Speaker 6: I've been a bit like why do I fancy It
Speaker 6: doesn't matter?
Speaker 2: That?
Speaker 3: Is he not like kind of explaining your exact issue
Speaker 3: with being in a parlor.
Speaker 1: Well, I think I think it was actually more a
Speaker 1: humble brag. I think he was just trying to be
Speaker 1: like I went on a date with this woman who
Speaker 1: was like, do you know what, I like you too much?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I like you too much? So would you see
Speaker 2: him again?
Speaker 1: No solid answer now, nothing personal. Also, he's fine, he's
Speaker 1: got five girl friends.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's believing. He's doing grand next time.
Speaker 1: On twenty eight dates later, I mean films, dancing, and
Speaker 1: a bunch of hippie adjacent things like contact, improv, psychedelics.
Speaker 2: Not sure that is, but I mean a lot of
Speaker 2: these things.
Speaker 3: I don't know what they are.
Speaker 1: I don't know what I don't know what circling is.
Speaker 2: I know what boordering is.
Speaker 4: Ald me, I'm a servo. Can it?
Speaker 1: Twenty eight Days Later is produced by Novel for iHeartRadio.
Speaker 1: For more from Novel, visit novel dot Audio. The series
Speaker 1: is presented by me Grace Campbell, with help from Roz
Speaker 1: Pursal and Dan Whye. The producer is Diggrey Way. The
Speaker 1: executive producer is Claire Broughton. Our editors are mithillly Raw
Speaker 1: and Max O'Brien. Production management from Sharie Houston and Charlotte Wall.
Speaker 1: Willard Foxton is our creative director of Development.