1 00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:04,440 Speaker 1: This show contains adult material, references to drugs and swearing. 2 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:06,160 Speaker 2: You have been warned. 3 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:10,400 Speaker 1: He hosts his own house sex parties. 4 00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:12,520 Speaker 3: Okay, so it's like an unofficial one where you're arriving 5 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 3: and you're like, wait, wait, what's. 6 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:19,400 Speaker 2: Going on around me? 7 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:32,239 Speaker 4: I'm a savage are. 8 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,840 Speaker 2: You board of modern dating? 9 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: Meeting the same people from the same apps in the 10 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:33,360 Speaker 1: same bar You've only chosen because it's close to your 11 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 1: house and you can make your usual quick getaway. It's 12 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:39,120 Speaker 1: time to change the narrative on how we find love. 13 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 1: It's time to start looking for love in all the 14 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:47,200 Speaker 1: wrong places. I'm going on a wild dating adventure, only 15 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 1: picking people who are the total opposite of my tie. 16 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:53,120 Speaker 1: And after twenty eight of these dates in two months, 17 00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:56,880 Speaker 1: will I find that special someone? Or Well, this experiment 18 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:59,960 Speaker 1: proved that I should just give up on dating altogether. 19 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:05,640 Speaker 1: It's time to find out. I'm Grace Campbell and this 20 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:07,440 Speaker 1: is twenty eight dates later. 21 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:17,400 Speaker 2: Hi, Roz, Hey, that was really loud. How are you? 22 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:18,440 Speaker 2: I'm very good? 23 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:19,040 Speaker 3: Hell? 24 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:23,640 Speaker 2: What was your date this week? It was kind of mad? Okay? 25 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:28,160 Speaker 1: Do you remember that documentary series? It was called Wild 26 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 1: Wild Country is on Netflix? 27 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:30,600 Speaker 2: Yeah? 28 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 1: Okay, and it was like about like that commune and 29 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 1: like everybody was like getting with each other. 30 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:41,039 Speaker 2: And what was her name, Sheila Jumber? Sheila. Yeah. So 31 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:42,640 Speaker 2: this guy that I went on a date with. 32 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 1: First impressions, he told me he works in TV. He's 33 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,560 Speaker 1: a news presenter. But then like he basically started to 34 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:50,880 Speaker 1: like tell me that he had like five different girlfriends 35 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 1: and they were all really good friends with each other 36 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 1: as well, So like all of the girlfriends really good friends. 37 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:57,920 Speaker 1: Like he hangs out with all of them and also 38 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 1: hangs out with their other boyfriends. They're basically in a 39 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:04,800 Speaker 1: friendship group of all of them going out and getting 40 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 1: with each other. 41 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,600 Speaker 2: Are you in an open relationship? 42 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:08,080 Speaker 5: Yeah? 43 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:11,040 Speaker 6: Yeah, I've never been in any some vocal things. Before 44 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:12,919 Speaker 6: I met this girl, so she's sort of polly or 45 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:16,280 Speaker 6: I guess we're polyamorous. And before I'm at her and 46 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:18,080 Speaker 6: we did our thing, I would think the same with 47 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:20,359 Speaker 6: that word, I'd be like, cults, let me through, I'm 48 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,240 Speaker 6: going to see you know, that's gress weird. 49 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:23,480 Speaker 5: And then you do it. 50 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:26,240 Speaker 6: And in theory and in practice is very different. If 51 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:29,440 Speaker 6: you think about in theory, you're like, we're it's going 52 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:31,520 Speaker 6: to be constant sex and it's going to be emotions 53 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 6: and like we're in practice. I feel it's a lot 54 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:35,600 Speaker 6: more ethical, it's a lot more communicative. You make a 55 00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 6: lot more friends. So the people that we both see, 56 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 6: me and my partner, we're all friends, right, So like 57 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:44,120 Speaker 6: I text a guy that she sees more than she 58 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:48,040 Speaker 6: does because she's shared texting and we're kind of mating. Wow, 59 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:51,960 Speaker 6: like one sometimes hang out the three of you, mainly 60 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,400 Speaker 6: me and him, Like, just be a nice guy. 61 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 1: It really reminded me of that show World Wild Country, 62 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,600 Speaker 1: because that show was my first obviously, I know, like 63 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,679 Speaker 1: in the seventies there was all these hippie. 64 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:03,959 Speaker 2: Communes where everybody was shagging. 65 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:07,919 Speaker 1: But like I wasn't alive then, and I remember thinking, God, 66 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:09,560 Speaker 1: that's mad, and that's kind of what When he was 67 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:11,240 Speaker 1: talking to me, I was like, well, so he was 68 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:13,799 Speaker 1: so not the kind of person that if you met him, 69 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:16,280 Speaker 1: you wouldn't think that he was like that person. 70 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:21,080 Speaker 6: My friends joke that I've got five girlfriends have at 71 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:23,000 Speaker 6: one point, I was saying, five five girls. 72 00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:27,560 Speaker 1: How much do you text all of your life? How 73 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 1: much are you communicating with them when you're not with 74 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:30,200 Speaker 1: some of them? 75 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 6: Definitely every day, multiple, like a lot throughout the day, 76 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:36,880 Speaker 6: some of them a couple of times a week, depending 77 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:38,280 Speaker 6: on how much should I see them At that point 78 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:40,560 Speaker 6: also got to say that a lot of the girls 79 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 6: would buy and therefore they see each other quite a lot. 80 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:47,000 Speaker 6: And we have a sort of little group of us 81 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,920 Speaker 6: which is like gree nice and ry and one of them. 82 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:51,160 Speaker 2: Do you ever have like group sets? 83 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:54,480 Speaker 5: Yeah? 84 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 1: That was like I just asked him if he wanted 85 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,800 Speaker 1: like milk, yeah, tea. 86 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:03,120 Speaker 2: Yeah. So where's guys meet? Or did you match on field? 87 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:06,160 Speaker 2: Which is like very much that I. 88 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 3: Don't know, Like I'm like, you met in the field, 89 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:10,360 Speaker 3: and you're like, no, we met in the app field. 90 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:12,960 Speaker 2: I'm so out of touch. 91 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:16,280 Speaker 1: We met in a field. It was really romantic. It 92 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:17,640 Speaker 1: was like pride and prejudice. 93 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,560 Speaker 3: And then then you're all your twenty eight date lover is, 94 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:22,120 Speaker 3: how did you? 95 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:27,719 Speaker 1: And yeah, exactly as mister Darcy, he lived in Soho, right, 96 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,520 Speaker 1: which like being from London, you never really like meet 97 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:32,720 Speaker 1: people that live in Soho because it's kind of like 98 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 1: it's just really small, so so it means that you're 99 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,039 Speaker 1: really really rich if you have like a nice house 100 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:41,119 Speaker 1: and Soho and so that was kind of like mad 101 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:41,360 Speaker 1: to me. 102 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:47,640 Speaker 6: When I first started living there, I was like, is 103 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:50,440 Speaker 6: it allowed people Like yeah. 104 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 1: I never meet people who live in so yeah, that's 105 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:54,320 Speaker 1: so d. 106 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,240 Speaker 6: Which means I have to be within two minutes of 107 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:57,320 Speaker 6: a strip by at any one time. 108 00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,720 Speaker 2: Right, but which is your favorite strip clo? 109 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:01,880 Speaker 5: Thanks for asking what it's sophisticate? 110 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:05,040 Speaker 2: But so sorry, is that a nick? Is that a nick? 111 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:06,720 Speaker 2: When he just said did he did? 112 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:08,920 Speaker 3: He actually just say I have a heart condition, so 113 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:11,000 Speaker 3: I have to live two minutes within a strip club. 114 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:12,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, well he's it's a joe. 115 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:15,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, I sorry, I didn't didn't land on me. 116 00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:17,680 Speaker 1: It was it was also lost on me, and I 117 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:19,920 Speaker 1: was like, oh, he's about to say he's got heart 118 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:22,160 Speaker 1: has to be in at UCLH, which is like the 119 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,240 Speaker 1: big hospital in central London. 120 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,440 Speaker 2: And then he was like yeah that was a big 121 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:29,719 Speaker 2: no Nan. Yeah, ro was you a fan of strip club? 122 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:30,360 Speaker 2: So we've been to one? 123 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:33,360 Speaker 3: I went to one once on holiday, was with all 124 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,680 Speaker 3: my friends and like, sorry, it wasn't more of it 125 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:36,640 Speaker 3: wasn't actually strip club. 126 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:37,520 Speaker 2: It was a sex club. 127 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:41,000 Speaker 3: It was like more of a sex show club and 128 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:44,159 Speaker 3: like I just remember being like what the fuck is 129 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:46,480 Speaker 3: going on? Like there was a guy on stage putting 130 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:48,719 Speaker 3: a glass off his ass, like I just remember, like 131 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:49,800 Speaker 3: I was like nineteen. 132 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:52,640 Speaker 2: I was like, I don't know how to process this. 133 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:53,719 Speaker 2: I'm way too naive. 134 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,839 Speaker 3: But it was amazing in terms of like all the 135 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:58,599 Speaker 3: people there. It was such a like I suppose a 136 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,680 Speaker 3: liberal place. It was like so much fun. 137 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,159 Speaker 2: But yeah, strip clubs, I've actually never gone to, like 138 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,240 Speaker 2: a proper strip club. I don't know why. In my head, 139 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,040 Speaker 2: I feel like it's quite seedy or something. 140 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:09,560 Speaker 1: I think because so many strip clubs are like four men, 141 00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:11,279 Speaker 1: do you know what I mean. I'd love to go 142 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:14,160 Speaker 1: to strip club where it's like for women, like Chippendale's Vibes, 143 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,520 Speaker 1: where it's like all the ships are men. But yeah, 144 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:18,760 Speaker 1: like what you were just saying, like those kinds of shows, 145 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:20,279 Speaker 1: I love seeing stuff like that. 146 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:20,799 Speaker 2: That's sick. 147 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:22,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm not sure if I want to go 148 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,359 Speaker 1: to a club that's like essentially four men, would you 149 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:24,880 Speaker 1: think it's. 150 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:25,400 Speaker 2: A red flag? 151 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:28,400 Speaker 3: If a guy or a girl was going to strip 152 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 3: club like. 153 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:33,960 Speaker 1: Regularly occasionally, if they went, I wouldn't think it was 154 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,640 Speaker 1: real flag. If they went a lot, if they went 155 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:37,280 Speaker 1: on their own, I would find that a bit. 156 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm actually I have to say, I'm loving this 157 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,760 Speaker 3: insight into like how other people live. I'm like, wow, 158 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:46,520 Speaker 3: my god, this are so fascinating, Like I think so 159 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:48,520 Speaker 3: but the only thing I do think right? 160 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:52,560 Speaker 1: And I felt this like with this guy in particularly, 161 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,560 Speaker 1: it's like, how do you actually like have time to 162 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:56,960 Speaker 1: be seeing five different people? 163 00:06:57,360 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, you live in Soho? Like how you are enough money? 164 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:05,640 Speaker 1: It's living Soho, but you're dating five different women. I 165 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:07,920 Speaker 1: just I sort of couldn't quite wrap my hand. 166 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:09,640 Speaker 2: Do you know what? I'd love to meet the women? 167 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:10,040 Speaker 5: Yeah? 168 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,920 Speaker 3: I love to do want I want you to go 169 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,000 Speaker 3: and meet them and record it. 170 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:16,520 Speaker 1: I would love that because I'd love to know what 171 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 1: they are like, these women. So from looking at his profile, 172 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 1: he looks like the kind of guy who shags around 173 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,840 Speaker 1: but isn't necessarily polyamorous. 174 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,040 Speaker 3: Sorry, I would not have got that from his profile. 175 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:31,800 Speaker 3: I was like, oh my god, he's like a weather 176 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:34,840 Speaker 3: man or something. He still holds them he's swimming some 177 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,400 Speaker 3: fresh water lake or whatever, and. 178 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:41,000 Speaker 2: It looks a bit like a right wing Tory. Yeah, 179 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,160 Speaker 2: yeah he kind of does. 180 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:43,560 Speaker 3: And like, you know what, when you send me this, 181 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:45,120 Speaker 3: I only looked at his photos and that's why I 182 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:47,200 Speaker 3: was shocking. You're like he's got five girlfriends. And then 183 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 3: I just scrolled in and realized that his pronaiins are 184 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:51,880 Speaker 3: he him you your mom. 185 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:57,760 Speaker 1: Ah, those sexy parties come at me if you're funny 186 00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,640 Speaker 1: and hot, but you don't like sex parties. 187 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,600 Speaker 2: I hate sex parties, and you know what is mad? 188 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:06,640 Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, I went to a sex party last year 189 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:09,440 Speaker 1: for this documentary I was making about sex parties. 190 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:10,840 Speaker 2: And then one of the things. 191 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 1: He said was like, oh, I didn't know whether or 192 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 1: not to say this to you, but I was actually 193 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:16,360 Speaker 1: at the sex party that you were at, and my 194 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:19,800 Speaker 1: friend was like, oh, look there's Grace Campbell and I 195 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:21,720 Speaker 1: was like, that's kind of weird. 196 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:23,720 Speaker 5: We were actually in the same party. 197 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,680 Speaker 6: We were at the same kenning Kin's party where you 198 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:26,800 Speaker 6: went with your film crew. 199 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:28,720 Speaker 2: Were you at that party? 200 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:31,800 Speaker 6: I remember chaining to go and she's like, oh, yeah, 201 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:32,240 Speaker 6: I'm not. 202 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:32,680 Speaker 1: Gonna lie that. 203 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:34,760 Speaker 2: Maybe that I felt quite self. 204 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:38,719 Speaker 6: Contra but that's I would say. I'm self consciously like 205 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:40,080 Speaker 6: I didn't do anything of that. I was on that 206 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,600 Speaker 6: same sort of VIP floor. 207 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:44,640 Speaker 2: Right, Okay, did you go with your partner? 208 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 6: No? I went with a girl who actually didn't make 209 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:49,760 Speaker 6: it because she was on a period. 210 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:53,079 Speaker 7: Okay, sorry, sorry, can I just say the way he 211 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 7: just swallowed the word period is so weird? 212 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,280 Speaker 2: He you and your film crew? We you say, like 213 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:02,520 Speaker 2: you and you're a film girul. I was like what, 214 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:04,520 Speaker 2: I'd say, what's going on? 215 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:04,880 Speaker 1: Is this? 216 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,400 Speaker 2: That man not on TV? And okay, so. 217 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:09,800 Speaker 3: She was on. 218 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:14,040 Speaker 2: So I'm so fascinated. 219 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:17,760 Speaker 3: I only heard of Killing Kittens sex parties like last 220 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 3: month because I am clearly like ten years. 221 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:24,280 Speaker 2: Mind everyone, but like, is that not the really explain 222 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:24,840 Speaker 2: what that is. 223 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:30,080 Speaker 1: It's the kind of like it's the most not necessarily 224 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:32,959 Speaker 1: high end, but it's very heterosexual like a lot of 225 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,400 Speaker 1: the other big sex parties are really like queer based, 226 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:38,839 Speaker 1: and Killing Kittens is like really straight and also quite 227 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:40,920 Speaker 1: like middle age and like middle class. 228 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:42,880 Speaker 2: And he hosts them as well. 229 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,040 Speaker 1: He hosts his own sex parties. 230 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:48,320 Speaker 7: And he what are they called? I didn't ask that. 231 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:49,840 Speaker 7: I think they were. 232 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,720 Speaker 1: More like house sex parties and like basically like you 233 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,400 Speaker 1: know her saying he's got like five girlfriends and they 234 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,040 Speaker 1: will have like different boyfriends and they will like get 235 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:56,560 Speaker 1: with each other. 236 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,480 Speaker 2: I think they just have orgies. 237 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:02,079 Speaker 3: Okay, so it's like an a fishing one where you're right, yeah, wait, 238 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:02,880 Speaker 3: what's going on? 239 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,439 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like it's like you thought you were going 240 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:09,720 Speaker 1: around for a Eurovision party and then suddenly like everyone's shagging. 241 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:26,240 Speaker 5: Talked about probably amateur a long time. I feel like spokesperson. 242 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:27,200 Speaker 5: What else do you do? 243 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:30,720 Speaker 1: What else are you into? 244 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:34,520 Speaker 2: What are your hobby. 245 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:36,400 Speaker 5: Hobbies? 246 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:38,680 Speaker 6: Speaking of the Chinese, because I lived in China for 247 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:41,200 Speaker 6: a year, super social, so I like sort of the 248 00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:43,920 Speaker 6: so I do organize parties, sort of sexy parties, even 249 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:45,680 Speaker 6: though I'm not really into them myself. I quite like 250 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:46,960 Speaker 6: organizing the I'm quite a hosting. 251 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:47,640 Speaker 2: Wow. 252 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:50,400 Speaker 5: We do have these like around the place. 253 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:52,400 Speaker 1: That's not fun, that's all a bit more like what 254 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:55,520 Speaker 1: I imagined would be my ideal sex party scenarios, like. 255 00:10:55,840 --> 00:11:00,160 Speaker 6: Twelve kind of a house part people and we're all 256 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:03,480 Speaker 6: kind of we usually like this core group know each 257 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,000 Speaker 6: other and then we bring friends that we know. 258 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,800 Speaker 2: No sorry, one thing I want to know about. 259 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,360 Speaker 3: I know he said a lot there, but like does 260 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:11,800 Speaker 3: he tell the airbnb people? 261 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:17,720 Speaker 1: Well probably not, okay, and that's pretty I I do 262 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:19,199 Speaker 1: that loads. I know loads of people that are just 263 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:21,480 Speaker 1: like run an Airbnb and then have a massive party. 264 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:23,720 Speaker 2: Who's cleaning that up? I know. 265 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:24,880 Speaker 3: No. 266 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:29,920 Speaker 1: I also him being like I don't enjoy sex parties, 267 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:32,160 Speaker 1: but I love hosting them, said. 268 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,720 Speaker 2: No one ever, Yeah, like what do you doing? Just watching? 269 00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:39,560 Speaker 1: Sorry, that's just such a lie. He obviously loves sex parties. 270 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,600 Speaker 1: He's mentioned them like three times at this point. 271 00:11:42,679 --> 00:11:44,440 Speaker 2: He should he should have just been a wedding planet. 272 00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:46,800 Speaker 1: I also have to say, like, this is when I 273 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,680 Speaker 1: know that I'm like bored, because it gave me the 274 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:53,040 Speaker 1: hearing myself ask him if he had any hobbies, because 275 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:56,400 Speaker 1: that's the kind of chat that like, I'm like, God, 276 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,920 Speaker 1: that is like the sort of Google what's a good 277 00:11:59,000 --> 00:11:59,680 Speaker 1: question to ask? 278 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:00,840 Speaker 2: And that's it? 279 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,480 Speaker 1: And that really that was when I was like, Okay, 280 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:05,600 Speaker 1: I'm slightly checking out here, and I was like, so, 281 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:11,360 Speaker 1: do you have any or bees? It felt like I 282 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,880 Speaker 1: was with like someone who's like trying to be a 283 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:16,360 Speaker 1: cult leader, and he was kind of like trying to 284 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:19,720 Speaker 1: hypnotize me into why polyamory is the only way forward, 285 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:22,360 Speaker 1: and at moments I was like, gorgea making it sound amazing. 286 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,560 Speaker 1: But then I kept like sort of blinking and being 287 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,680 Speaker 1: like is this man like got me under a spell? 288 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:29,760 Speaker 6: The way A very very monoglous friend of mine, No, 289 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:33,440 Speaker 6: second before marriage friend when he first had his first son, 290 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,120 Speaker 6: was worried when his second child was on the way, 291 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,280 Speaker 6: was I'm scared that I can't love my second son 292 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,280 Speaker 6: as much as I can love my first song. But 293 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:44,680 Speaker 6: your capacity for love grows. So I think that's a 294 00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:46,760 Speaker 6: really good way to look at it, because I think 295 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,400 Speaker 6: you can love more than one person, you love them 296 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:49,960 Speaker 6: in different ways. 297 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,040 Speaker 1: But I still think loving your kid is different than 298 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:55,200 Speaker 1: being in law. You think, but the romantic partner, yeah, 299 00:12:56,559 --> 00:12:57,959 Speaker 1: I would disagree. 300 00:12:57,679 --> 00:13:03,040 Speaker 6: Really, yeah, yeah, I would say you have different things. 301 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:06,640 Speaker 1: Really really deep soulmate level relationships with my best friends, right, 302 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:09,800 Speaker 1: and I've got like different, very different relationships, and I've 303 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:12,400 Speaker 1: got a lot of best friends, which is like this 304 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:15,880 Speaker 1: ongoing joke in my family that like. 305 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:16,560 Speaker 2: I have more best friends than anyone. 306 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:19,320 Speaker 1: But I feel that's a different kind of love for 307 00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:21,520 Speaker 1: what I felt for my ex toy friends. 308 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:22,240 Speaker 5: Do you know what I mean? 309 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:28,559 Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't believe he compared loving like being polyamorous 310 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:29,760 Speaker 1: to loving your children. 311 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:32,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, but you know what I have to say, Like 312 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,920 Speaker 3: he went there and I was like, for a moment, 313 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:38,719 Speaker 3: I was like, oh no, no, he is hypnotizing us. 314 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:39,320 Speaker 2: No I know. 315 00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:42,760 Speaker 7: But also that is not a comparison. No, I'm sorry, 316 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:45,719 Speaker 7: it's not the same. Like it's not the same at all. 317 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:48,040 Speaker 7: It's a completely different type of love. 318 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:50,080 Speaker 1: I just thought that was weird and I was like 319 00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,000 Speaker 1: he it was like he was like. 320 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:54,520 Speaker 2: Slightly clutching at straws to like persuade me. 321 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:56,719 Speaker 6: One of the good things I like about it is 322 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,840 Speaker 6: that the sort of monogamous thing is like very foxed 323 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,520 Speaker 6: in right's been there for centuries. 324 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:03,559 Speaker 5: And it hasn't changed, whereas this is kind of like 325 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:06,439 Speaker 5: you make your own works, is much more what humans 326 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:07,000 Speaker 5: are about. 327 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,040 Speaker 6: And then from that, I've just noticed sort of many 328 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,160 Speaker 6: other sort of healthy things come from it, especially for 329 00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:15,480 Speaker 6: guys where jealousy insecurity are quite a big factor. 330 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,479 Speaker 5: Not talking lack of communication. 331 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:20,560 Speaker 6: It really forces you to do that general communication is 332 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,160 Speaker 6: a lot higher, especially for white English guy that's generally 333 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:26,240 Speaker 6: not the case, where often you sort of build up 334 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:28,320 Speaker 6: emotions and anxiety and it all comes out in one thing. 335 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:29,920 Speaker 6: And so I don't know, I think it's healthy in 336 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,920 Speaker 6: that respect because I feel like monogamy is often based 337 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:35,880 Speaker 6: on stuff that isn't really human to us. It's based 338 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:38,360 Speaker 6: on what a guy wrote in the Bible years ago, 339 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:41,200 Speaker 6: or whatever, you know, was set up for the patriarchy. 340 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:43,440 Speaker 3: He's really going in trying to convince you, though. 341 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:46,680 Speaker 1: He was hammering it very like it was kind of 342 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:48,920 Speaker 1: always spoke about. And then it got to the end 343 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:51,480 Speaker 1: of the day and I was like, we haven't spoken 344 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:55,080 Speaker 1: about anything else apart from your polyamory. And he was 345 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,600 Speaker 1: telling me about like like his parents found out recently 346 00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:00,400 Speaker 1: that he was like polyamorous, and then you know, at 347 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,040 Speaker 1: the beginning, they didn't really like his dad didn't really 348 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:04,720 Speaker 1: get it. But then after a while, it's fine. He 349 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:06,960 Speaker 1: had his birthday and he took all of his girlfriends 350 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:10,680 Speaker 1: to his birthday with his parents and they were all 351 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:12,960 Speaker 1: there having his birthday dinner or his girlfriends. 352 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:15,440 Speaker 2: Well, opened your family about it. 353 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:18,880 Speaker 6: Well, I didn't have the conversation over the phone. I 354 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:21,680 Speaker 6: did it in person, and that was quite difficult because 355 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,200 Speaker 6: my dad's eyebrows were like off his face just talking 356 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,440 Speaker 6: to him, my mum and I could just see out 357 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:27,080 Speaker 6: of my periphery Dad's eyebrows going on. 358 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,000 Speaker 1: That's so Dad, that's so like a dad thing to do, 359 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:32,800 Speaker 1: not say anything but react facially. 360 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:36,040 Speaker 6: But then when they met her, it was so natural 361 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:38,120 Speaker 6: because they met her with my other partner because their friends. 362 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:40,520 Speaker 6: It was like my birthday dinner and I brought other 363 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,680 Speaker 6: friends and then they were there as well, and we'll 364 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:43,600 Speaker 6: just hang out as a group. 365 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:45,840 Speaker 5: And that made him much more. 366 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:49,360 Speaker 1: Is because it's basically like your group of friends, like 367 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:51,400 Speaker 1: a pace, right, and it's not like and that they 368 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:54,120 Speaker 1: arrived together, the two girls because their maids, and they 369 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,480 Speaker 1: were like, oh right, well, they're so distinguished. 370 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:58,960 Speaker 5: All the ideas that this is weird. 371 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:02,000 Speaker 2: Isn't that mental? That is mental? 372 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:05,040 Speaker 1: He was hypnotizing me on how amazing polyamory is, and 373 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:07,640 Speaker 1: then I was kind of challenging him on some of it. 374 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:09,080 Speaker 5: So I went on the. 375 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:13,560 Speaker 6: Day the other day with a girl who is married 376 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,680 Speaker 6: but the opening of the relationship has a husband who 377 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,280 Speaker 6: has the same name as me and also the same 378 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:20,000 Speaker 6: nickname as we. But anyway, we had a lot of common. 379 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:22,200 Speaker 6: We got on really well, and we met very quickly, 380 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,040 Speaker 6: just for a quick drink, just to be like. And 381 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:27,480 Speaker 6: afterwards she was like, I liked you too much. I'm 382 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:30,080 Speaker 6: not here for this, right, I'm here for like you know, 383 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:32,120 Speaker 6: I'm here. I'm not here for that. I'm not And 384 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:34,640 Speaker 6: I was like, interesting, because I can do that as well. 385 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,400 Speaker 2: But I don't know if I could do that. 386 00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:38,280 Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't have those feelings when I'm. 387 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, especially at the beginning of opening up a relationship, 388 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:42,120 Speaker 1: I would freak out. 389 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,200 Speaker 6: I think that was me, Yeah, because the rules would 390 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,120 Speaker 6: be obviously, this is purely physical. 391 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,520 Speaker 5: This is not so I don't know it's also. 392 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:51,840 Speaker 1: But also I don't know if I don't know, is 393 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:55,000 Speaker 1: anything ever purely vision if it's happening more than once. 394 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:57,440 Speaker 1: I think one night Stan can be purely physical. And 395 00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,560 Speaker 1: I think I've literally had seven people before that. I've 396 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:00,880 Speaker 1: not even boken a word. 397 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:04,840 Speaker 3: To wait, stuff the stuff, the cliff grace, what how 398 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:07,920 Speaker 3: does that even work? Where were you and like what 399 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,160 Speaker 3: were you signing to them? 400 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,720 Speaker 1: No, I just feel like like I, you know, it's happened. 401 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:13,359 Speaker 1: It happened to me last summer and Marseille, Like I 402 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:14,919 Speaker 1: was in a club and I just like looked at 403 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:18,200 Speaker 1: this guy and then we started kissing like each other, 404 00:17:18,359 --> 00:17:20,560 Speaker 1: and then we you know, left and we went and 405 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,199 Speaker 1: had sex. And so my friends call it my like 406 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,159 Speaker 1: a maturist. And my friends say, like, I have this 407 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:26,880 Speaker 1: like sometimes very rare. 408 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,199 Speaker 2: Now it used to be more frequent by you. 409 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,919 Speaker 1: Used to have this like ball like a b U 410 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,679 Speaker 1: l L, like a like the animal like ball mode 411 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,560 Speaker 1: where I'd be out and I just would suddenly be 412 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,159 Speaker 1: like I need to have sex, and so I just 413 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:38,359 Speaker 1: like look at someone and I'd be like, let's have sex. 414 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,359 Speaker 3: You're like a mine. You're like that, that's what you 415 00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:44,040 Speaker 3: should be for alloween. You should dress the mine like 416 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,399 Speaker 3: a sex mine. 417 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,000 Speaker 2: And I bet I would shag. 418 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:50,240 Speaker 1: I bet I would shag another mine. 419 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:51,879 Speaker 2: Carry on the cliff. 420 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:56,280 Speaker 1: But I had to have ongoing sex and like physical 421 00:17:56,359 --> 00:17:58,040 Speaker 1: intimacy or someone. 422 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,679 Speaker 2: I find it's hard for that to be Like I. 423 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:02,919 Speaker 6: Think you can have really good sex with someone that 424 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:07,080 Speaker 6: you're purely sexually. I think I'd like that before where 425 00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:09,679 Speaker 6: I for some reason, I know they're really hot and 426 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:12,480 Speaker 6: they're really nice, but for whatever reason, I have not 427 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:15,600 Speaker 6: had that. You know, I don't massively fancy them or 428 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,199 Speaker 6: I'm not really intoent And I know that for some 429 00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:21,879 Speaker 6: people would be like a juxtaposition, but for me that's happened. 430 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:23,879 Speaker 6: I've been a bit like why do I fancy It 431 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:24,320 Speaker 6: doesn't matter? 432 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:24,359 Speaker 2: That? 433 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:28,760 Speaker 3: Is he not like kind of explaining your exact issue 434 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,320 Speaker 3: with being in a parlor. 435 00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:33,200 Speaker 1: Well, I think I think it was actually more a 436 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,479 Speaker 1: humble brag. I think he was just trying to be 437 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:37,040 Speaker 1: like I went on a date with this woman who 438 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:38,800 Speaker 1: was like, do you know what, I like you too much? 439 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:41,560 Speaker 2: Yeah? I like you too much? So would you see 440 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:42,000 Speaker 2: him again? 441 00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:47,320 Speaker 1: No solid answer now, nothing personal. Also, he's fine, he's 442 00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:48,160 Speaker 1: got five girl friends. 443 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:52,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, he's believing. He's doing grand next time. 444 00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:56,159 Speaker 1: On twenty eight dates later, I mean films, dancing, and 445 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,680 Speaker 1: a bunch of hippie adjacent things like contact, improv, psychedelics. 446 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:01,720 Speaker 2: Not sure that is, but I mean a lot of 447 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:02,040 Speaker 2: these things. 448 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:02,840 Speaker 3: I don't know what they are. 449 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:07,119 Speaker 1: I don't know what I don't know what circling is. 450 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:08,280 Speaker 2: I know what boordering is. 451 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:21,040 Speaker 4: Ald me, I'm a servo. Can it? 452 00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:24,760 Speaker 1: Twenty eight Days Later is produced by Novel for iHeartRadio. 453 00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:28,840 Speaker 1: For more from Novel, visit novel dot Audio. The series 454 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:32,080 Speaker 1: is presented by me Grace Campbell, with help from Roz 455 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:36,320 Speaker 1: Pursal and Dan Whye. The producer is Diggrey Way. The 456 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:40,720 Speaker 1: executive producer is Claire Broughton. Our editors are mithillly Raw 457 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:45,440 Speaker 1: and Max O'Brien. Production management from Sharie Houston and Charlotte Wall. 458 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,600 Speaker 1: Willard Foxton is our creative director of Development.