1 00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:04,760 Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. 2 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:08,560 Speaker 2: Hi. 3 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:13,200 Speaker 1: Everyone, welcome to I Choose Me, a podcast about choices. Today, 4 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:17,880 Speaker 1: I'm joined by Chrissy Mets, actress, singer, and author. Of 5 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:22,240 Speaker 1: course you know her from This Is Us, But get ready, 6 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:25,880 Speaker 1: she chose a new role a ferocious mama bear and 7 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:31,520 Speaker 1: the wildly addictive series The Hunting Wives. Okay, you guys, 8 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:37,040 Speaker 1: this show is so full of secrets and spice. You 9 00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:41,200 Speaker 1: gotta watch it. Chrissy opens up about preparing for darker 10 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:46,320 Speaker 1: roles and finally finding her stride with personal boundaries. You're 11 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:51,120 Speaker 1: going to love my new friend, Chrissy Mets. Hi, Hi, 12 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:52,520 Speaker 1: they're beautiful. 13 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:53,360 Speaker 2: Were you? 14 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:56,440 Speaker 1: I'm great, it's so nice to meet you. 15 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:59,160 Speaker 2: It's so nice to meet you. I'm like, Wow, I'm 16 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:00,960 Speaker 2: glad that we're doing it, even if it's on zoom. 17 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 2: I'm like, just so you know me too. 18 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:08,119 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, you are having some kind of a moment, lady. 19 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,920 Speaker 2: You know, I think people think that, but it's just 20 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:15,360 Speaker 2: the timing, like everything, Yeah, you know, how it goes. 21 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:19,520 Speaker 2: It's like nothing and for famine, it's like and then 22 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:22,600 Speaker 2: optically it looks like, oh my goodness, like and it's 23 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:25,400 Speaker 2: great and it's wonderful, and I'm grateful because so many people, 24 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:29,840 Speaker 2: as you know, it takes a village. I mean, I 25 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,040 Speaker 2: listen to have a job, people to have a job, 26 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 2: but I think it looks one way, you know, to 27 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:37,760 Speaker 2: the to the world. And then I'm like, oh, there's 28 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:38,319 Speaker 2: the reality. 29 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:41,760 Speaker 1: So of course, well, yeah, I mean I get it. 30 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 1: To have a job is just the best feeling. 31 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:47,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, you know, I always say that we're in 32 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 2: the business of rejection, and I'm like, why did I 33 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:54,320 Speaker 2: how there's something to that, Chrissy, you did this on purpose? 34 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:55,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, we must like it. 35 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:59,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think for me it's like a self fulfilling 36 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,640 Speaker 2: prophecy where I'm like, well, nobody's going to choose me, 37 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:03,480 Speaker 2: and so why didn't I get into a business world? 38 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:04,600 Speaker 2: I'll never feel chosen? 39 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:08,280 Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's the whole point of this podcast. 40 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:10,880 Speaker 1: Guess what you have to choose yourself exactly. 41 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:14,400 Speaker 2: And I wasn't even like, you know, prepping that segue, but. 42 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:17,840 Speaker 1: I know, but yeah, I loved it. Well, let's just 43 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 1: talk about The Hunting Wives. Yes, I had not watched 44 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,560 Speaker 1: it until last night, and then I started binging, of course, 45 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:27,959 Speaker 1: because I wanted to see what everyone was talking, what 46 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,880 Speaker 1: everyone was talking about, and I wanted to see your 47 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:33,760 Speaker 1: performance and I wanted to see your character so we 48 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:37,880 Speaker 1: could really talk about it. And I was it's fun. 49 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,600 Speaker 1: It's a really fun show to watch. 50 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:44,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I always try to preface with I don't 51 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 2: know that. I'd watch it with my mom and watch 52 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:52,399 Speaker 2: that she has little boy, yes, and you know she's 53 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:55,200 Speaker 2: she said, five kids, so like she knows how the 54 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 2: world works. But like seeing you know, and when we 55 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 2: read it, it's so different than it coming to life 56 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:05,800 Speaker 2: and an actual television. You know, you're right. 57 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,680 Speaker 1: What did you think when you read like, let's just 58 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 1: be specific, like all the sex, there's just sex all 59 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:11,880 Speaker 1: the time. 60 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,360 Speaker 2: Well, I was like, oh, thank goodness, I don't have 61 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 2: to do it. 62 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:19,680 Speaker 3: But your first thought, though, I'm like, would just be 63 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 3: the you know, very sweet kind who's just trying to 64 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:25,040 Speaker 3: fight for her daughter. 65 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,160 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, because you know, as you know, no 66 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 2: matter what we do, it's going to come with thoughts, opinions, criticism, 67 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:36,200 Speaker 2: and luckily with Starr in particular, the role that I played, 68 00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:39,520 Speaker 2: I I know that woman. My mom was a single mom. 69 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:43,560 Speaker 2: I grew up in the South. Like it felt good 70 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:47,560 Speaker 2: to also champion women like that and to also know 71 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:50,040 Speaker 2: that those stories get to be told, and also that 72 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,320 Speaker 2: this woman's not going to roll over and just let 73 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:54,280 Speaker 2: these people treat her any kind of way. 74 00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:57,720 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know if there's anybody do you 75 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,880 Speaker 1: think there's anybody that hasn't seen it at this point? 76 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:06,520 Speaker 2: What happened? Yet? I'm sorry? Yeah? 77 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:06,640 Speaker 3: What? 78 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 1: What would you summarize the show as, like in your mind? 79 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:16,480 Speaker 2: Yeah? Well, I think in my mind it is, uh, 80 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:20,279 Speaker 2: you know, a group of ladies who are you know, 81 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 2: I like to look at all the good in people, 82 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:24,880 Speaker 2: you know, so I'm like, oh, these are troubled women 83 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,920 Speaker 2: who are searching for something, and each of us have 84 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:31,880 Speaker 2: something that we want. And so, you know, I think 85 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 2: with Sophie Britney Snow's character, you know, everyone's like, she's 86 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:36,600 Speaker 2: so crazy. How in the world is she gonna let 87 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:40,039 Speaker 2: this woman Margo, who yes Ackerman plays, how she gonna 88 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,080 Speaker 2: let this woman just like take her down and like 89 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,800 Speaker 2: make her do all that? And I'm like, this is 90 00:04:44,839 --> 00:04:48,919 Speaker 2: a broken woman who feels sorry for herself. She's run 91 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:51,480 Speaker 2: over someone and killed them in her prior life in Boston, 92 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,320 Speaker 2: Like stuff. 93 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:57,240 Speaker 1: Is going on, you know, and so I'm deeply yeah. 94 00:04:56,920 --> 00:05:00,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, trouble, trouble, and then poor you know Mallin's character, Margo. 95 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,239 Speaker 2: I mean, she's been fighting for her life, her whole life. 96 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,919 Speaker 2: You know, her mom left them literally like fending for 97 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,880 Speaker 2: themselves in a trailer park, trying to you know, bamboozo 98 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,880 Speaker 2: people for money so they could pay the rent. But 99 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:16,520 Speaker 2: you know, everybody's got something, you know, Poor Jill, she's 100 00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:20,719 Speaker 2: you know, doesn't have a great relationship with their pastor husband, 101 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:22,960 Speaker 2: but they have to keep it together for the optics 102 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:26,000 Speaker 2: of the church. You know, there's just a lot going on, 103 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:29,599 Speaker 2: and I think that's where people enjoy it, whether they're like, 104 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 2: oh I can't relate at all, or oh someone's better 105 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:36,120 Speaker 2: off or better than me. Oh, like there's just something 106 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:41,280 Speaker 2: in it for everyone, and it's you know, obviously salacious fun. Yeah, 107 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:45,040 Speaker 2: it's fun, like yeah, you know, I don't think it 108 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,680 Speaker 2: takes itself too seriously, which is nice. But then I 109 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:50,480 Speaker 2: feel like with Starr, I'm so grateful to play her 110 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:53,359 Speaker 2: because I feel like she sort of grounded you know, 111 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:56,680 Speaker 2: these women who you know, might be making decisions that 112 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:59,719 Speaker 2: aren't the best and not that Starr makes a decision 113 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:03,280 Speaker 2: that you know, leads to her demise that is not 114 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:03,719 Speaker 2: the best. 115 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:07,560 Speaker 1: But wait, don't spoil it because I haven't watched the finale, 116 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:12,599 Speaker 1: the last episode. Were you about to tell me, I'm 117 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:13,279 Speaker 1: not saying a word. 118 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:13,560 Speaker 2: I don't. 119 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:18,000 Speaker 1: Just give me another give me another few hours. 120 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:22,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, perfect, you're busy. But yeah, I just I 121 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:26,080 Speaker 2: think that it's so hard to summarize, you know, the show. 122 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,919 Speaker 1: But well, let's talk about your character, because you just 123 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:31,159 Speaker 1: told me that you're from the South. You know this character, 124 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:34,680 Speaker 1: you know this person. I believed that because when I 125 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:39,800 Speaker 1: was watching you, you felt very natural, very real, and 126 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,920 Speaker 1: you know, I it makes sense now that you say 127 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:45,080 Speaker 1: that that that you're from the South. That was your mom, 128 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,760 Speaker 1: you know, and I feel it when your character comes 129 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,920 Speaker 1: on screen, and I was I was wondering, like, are 130 00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:53,599 Speaker 1: do you think that the rest of the group of 131 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:57,280 Speaker 1: women or the people in the show are depicted accurately 132 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:01,400 Speaker 1: for that kind of environment? Where's it? 133 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:01,520 Speaker 3: Hell? 134 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:02,640 Speaker 1: Is it in Dallas? 135 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:07,320 Speaker 2: It's set in Tyler, Texas, which is Tyler, Texas. But 136 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,320 Speaker 2: you know, I like run to the comments because I 137 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:12,480 Speaker 2: do want to see what people are saying, because obviously 138 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:14,200 Speaker 2: I didn't grow up in Tyler, Texas. But I grew 139 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 2: up in the South, and Texas is very different from 140 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:20,160 Speaker 2: Florida North Florida. But a lot of people were, you know, 141 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,200 Speaker 2: ragging on the wigs and They're like what And then 142 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:24,360 Speaker 2: people would say, oh, no, this is what women are, 143 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:26,160 Speaker 2: like like, this is what they wear and these are 144 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,480 Speaker 2: the wigs. And I was like, oh, okay, you know, 145 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:31,440 Speaker 2: so that you're like, oh, okay, they got it right. 146 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:34,000 Speaker 2: You know. I think that again, everybody's always going to 147 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:38,240 Speaker 2: have an opinion, but I think that as far as 148 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:44,920 Speaker 2: perhaps the stereotype, you know, there's some truth into stereotypes, 149 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 2: for better or for worse. So I do think that 150 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,680 Speaker 2: some people felt like, oh, they got this right. 151 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:55,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, it feels right. It feels like I'm transported to 152 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:59,520 Speaker 1: this lifestyle. Yeah, which is very like I feel like 153 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:04,640 Speaker 1: I'm Brittany's character because you're like, wow, what and where 154 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,320 Speaker 1: have I? What have I stepped into? 155 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,480 Speaker 2: Yeah? You don't work your wife? 156 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:13,880 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, wow, that sounds cool, but you really had 157 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:15,880 Speaker 1: to kind of step into a much darker place for 158 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:16,480 Speaker 1: this role. 159 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,360 Speaker 2: Yeah. 160 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:24,000 Speaker 1: Then maybe you have before, maybe not, but this was 161 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:27,880 Speaker 1: I mean I was watching and I was thinking, Wow, 162 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:30,080 Speaker 1: it's so great to see her. She has a teenage daughter. 163 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:33,720 Speaker 1: I can really relate to, like that relationship that was 164 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:36,680 Speaker 1: happening when she was upset about the boyfriend and kind 165 00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:38,520 Speaker 1: of really shut you out, and she was rude to you, 166 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:41,560 Speaker 1: and I was feeling for you as a mom, and 167 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:46,000 Speaker 1: then that what happened to your daughter happened. I don't 168 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:49,319 Speaker 1: want to spoil it for anyone either, right, And then 169 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:52,560 Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, this poor lady. 170 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, and here are these people. Yeah, her as like 171 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 2: a political side piece to like at. 172 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:02,280 Speaker 1: Your at the vision of your daughter. The guy says, 173 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 1: I'm going to run for a governor. 174 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:08,320 Speaker 2: Now's the time, jed, now's the time. Who Durmatt played 175 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,400 Speaker 2: and who I love? He's so wonderful. I'm like, you 176 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:14,240 Speaker 2: played such a jerk. You played it well, but I 177 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:19,160 Speaker 2: know it's you know, And anybody who feels marginalized, I 178 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:22,720 Speaker 2: think can relate to Star's character. And I definitely feel 179 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 2: like I always relate to the underdog. I sort of 180 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:27,920 Speaker 2: felt that way in my family. I felt that way 181 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:29,720 Speaker 2: growing up. I felt the way being a big girl 182 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:33,560 Speaker 2: from a small town moving to LA So that is 183 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:39,120 Speaker 2: deeply within the empathy for me. So I can feel it. Yeah, 184 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,720 Speaker 2: Oh well, thank you. And it's funny because all the girls, 185 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,640 Speaker 2: of course, are so wonderful, but I remember like being 186 00:09:44,679 --> 00:09:47,360 Speaker 2: in a scene and they're all like, you know, dressed 187 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:50,560 Speaker 2: to the nines and cute and polished and all that, 188 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:52,280 Speaker 2: and I'm just looking over there like, oh, this is 189 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:54,520 Speaker 2: only going to help my performance, this is only going 190 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:56,840 Speaker 2: to help me perform. But you feel like an outsider. 191 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:59,120 Speaker 2: You feel like an outcast. And you're like, yeah, you know, 192 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:03,560 Speaker 2: she's blast size girls. She's you know, she wears clothes 193 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:07,439 Speaker 2: probably from affordable places and just can't even afford a 194 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,240 Speaker 2: pair of boots for her poor daughters, you know, hiking 195 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:14,400 Speaker 2: trip and there's a lot in that. And you know, 196 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:16,559 Speaker 2: I'm not never been a parent. I have a dog, 197 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:20,440 Speaker 2: but I have ten nieces and nephews. And even when 198 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:23,240 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I want to like get them something, 199 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:27,080 Speaker 2: you know, I want to go on a trip with them, 200 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:29,280 Speaker 2: or go on a field trip, and I can't, it's like, oh, 201 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:33,040 Speaker 2: you feel like you failed, you know, And I'm just 202 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:36,000 Speaker 2: an aunt. I can't imagine as a parent, you know, 203 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:38,319 Speaker 2: it must be so so difficult. 204 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:41,600 Speaker 1: It is challenging. But being a dog mom is challenging too. 205 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,920 Speaker 1: My dog, Yeah, they keep me on my toes. 206 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, how many do you have right now? 207 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:46,800 Speaker 1: Three? 208 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,320 Speaker 2: Okay? Did you have before? 209 00:10:49,559 --> 00:10:55,960 Speaker 1: Yeah? Five at one point? Or did you mixed the match? 210 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,360 Speaker 2: So I love that. 211 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,760 Speaker 1: Yeah. I also to notice with the show, like it 212 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:05,800 Speaker 1: made me start to think about female relationships because there's, 213 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:09,400 Speaker 1: you know, so much incredible momentum and talk right now 214 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:13,240 Speaker 1: about the importance of community and about women supporting women 215 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:17,840 Speaker 1: and mentoring other women. And I feel as if the 216 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:21,880 Speaker 1: energy I don't know if it's true for your experience, 217 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:24,480 Speaker 1: but in mind, it just feels like the energy of 218 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:29,360 Speaker 1: the female has really grown. Yeah, And I think this 219 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:33,000 Speaker 1: show made me go, hmm, these women aren't being very 220 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:33,800 Speaker 1: nice to each other. 221 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:41,320 Speaker 2: Mm hmmm, right, which is unfortunate because the divisiveness of 222 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,679 Speaker 2: you know, when you're just trying to like big up 223 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:47,160 Speaker 2: your friends and you're trying to bolster them and champion them, 224 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:51,000 Speaker 2: and you know, it's never personal when they can't which 225 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:54,560 Speaker 2: these women obviously can't always do for each other. I 226 00:11:54,559 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 2: think you see glimpses of like oh oh, even if 227 00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:03,040 Speaker 2: it might be most from a selfish perspective. 228 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,760 Speaker 1: Or like they'll say something as soon as the girl's 229 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:08,880 Speaker 1: gun was discovered, then they're all talking about her behind 230 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:12,360 Speaker 1: her back, saying oh she was weird and all things. 231 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:15,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're like, wait a minute, but what you'll 232 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:18,640 Speaker 2: see whence you continue with the show that there is 233 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,480 Speaker 2: there is a special bond between Margo and Sophie I hope. 234 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:26,640 Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, right, I like them together. 235 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a little disordered, of course, but you definitely 236 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:36,720 Speaker 2: there is a Karen love and concern there. So and 237 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:40,040 Speaker 2: I think that's what art does, right, It imitates life, 238 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:43,680 Speaker 2: and so I think people can see themselves in the 239 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:47,680 Speaker 2: characters but also realize that, you know, we're all doing 240 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,520 Speaker 2: this life thing very imperfectly, Like who are we to 241 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:55,000 Speaker 2: judge what we do because we're here, because we're human. 242 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:59,720 Speaker 2: But it's fascinating. You know. There were female directors for 243 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:03,719 Speaker 2: the Higher series, which was really cool and I appreciated 244 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:10,040 Speaker 2: that because you know, this industry, particularly entertainment industry, is 245 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:14,280 Speaker 2: very male dominated in many ways, and so it is 246 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,720 Speaker 2: nice that there were so many women on the set 247 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,840 Speaker 2: and directing and front and behind the camera. So that 248 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:23,000 Speaker 2: was really cool. And there was a camaraderie there even 249 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,840 Speaker 2: if it wasn't on the show, it was definitely built 250 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:25,520 Speaker 2: in on set. 251 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:35,280 Speaker 1: That's so cool. How do you think, you know, with 252 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:38,040 Speaker 1: the messaging of the show, Like, I don't think anybody's 253 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 1: taking it that to heart, but maybe they are. How 254 00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:42,640 Speaker 1: can we be better? 255 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:42,920 Speaker 2: Like? 256 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:48,640 Speaker 1: How can we How do you handle female relationships and 257 00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:51,480 Speaker 1: friendships and what are the importance of those for you 258 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:52,880 Speaker 1: in your life right now? Where you are? 259 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:56,800 Speaker 2: Oh, I mean I have two dear friends that knew 260 00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:59,040 Speaker 2: me when I was baroke so broke i couldn't pay 261 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:02,679 Speaker 2: attention and they have met like my dearest friends since 262 00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:05,160 Speaker 2: I moved to LA when I was one was my 263 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:08,080 Speaker 2: first ever agent, Jackie Lewis, and my O there is 264 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,040 Speaker 2: My name's Gina And she was actually the human resources 265 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:15,680 Speaker 2: at the agency I was represented at and eventually became 266 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:18,280 Speaker 2: an assistant and then an agent at for nine years 267 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,120 Speaker 2: in my former life. 268 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:20,840 Speaker 1: Oh my god, wait, you were an agent? 269 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:21,520 Speaker 2: Yes? 270 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:24,080 Speaker 1: Are you having PTSD right now? 271 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:27,080 Speaker 2: Yeah? I mean I'm so yes, I'm so grateful that 272 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:29,920 Speaker 2: I got to learn why I wanted to do this 273 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:35,000 Speaker 2: and that I could really understand the business from another perspective. 274 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,760 Speaker 2: You know when your agent doesn't call for a while 275 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,000 Speaker 2: and you're like wait and they are making phone calls 276 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:42,080 Speaker 2: on your behalf, but like all you know is you 277 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,800 Speaker 2: didn't get one. I do understand that perspective. 278 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:45,840 Speaker 1: Now, I guess that's good. 279 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, it is good. And also like I know how 280 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:52,680 Speaker 2: to read contracts, which is nice and helpful. So there, 281 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:56,560 Speaker 2: there's It was advantageous, but it was also really challenging 282 00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:59,320 Speaker 2: because I always say this, but it's like watching your 283 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:04,080 Speaker 2: boyfriend take an other woman out every weekend. You're like, fun, 284 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:07,080 Speaker 2: have fun of that audition, that's fun on that date, 285 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:10,760 Speaker 2: my favorite table. You know, it feels that way. But 286 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:16,520 Speaker 2: I also realized that it's really important to be of 287 00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:19,080 Speaker 2: service in life and just in general, no matter what 288 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:23,880 Speaker 2: you do, and it comes back tenfold, and that I 289 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:29,400 Speaker 2: was really able, Like there were so many advantages, Like 290 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:31,240 Speaker 2: I would interview people every day and I'm like, oh, 291 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,280 Speaker 2: now I know how to talk on a red carpet. 292 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:35,800 Speaker 2: You know. There were things that really it's a play 293 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:38,840 Speaker 2: that I had no idea. You know. I always think 294 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:42,240 Speaker 2: everything is working for our good right wherever we are, yes, 295 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:44,040 Speaker 2: no matter if we can see it or not. And 296 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:47,680 Speaker 2: so it was really helpful. A bit of a longer 297 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,920 Speaker 2: detour than I anticipated or expected nine years. 298 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:56,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, but it doesn't matter because you're exactly where you're 299 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:56,840 Speaker 1: supposed to be. 300 00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:01,080 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, exactly. So you know, there are moments where 301 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:03,640 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, my goodness, I worked for Peanuts, you know, 302 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:05,440 Speaker 2: and then there's times where I'm like, oh, but I 303 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 2: had an invaluable experience. 304 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:12,880 Speaker 1: Right you've been. I love how you use your platform 305 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:22,920 Speaker 1: to sort of spread kindness and joy, and it feels 306 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:26,800 Speaker 1: like and your music is uplifting, you know. I feel 307 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:31,720 Speaker 1: like I try. I think it's it comes so through 308 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,640 Speaker 1: because I did a little deep dive into your Instagram 309 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:37,920 Speaker 1: earlier just to see what I'd missed because I'm not 310 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,040 Speaker 1: that up with the times on it. 311 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:44,320 Speaker 2: But either I such I love hate relationship with social media. 312 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:45,640 Speaker 2: I don't get it. 313 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:51,160 Speaker 1: What me either. Yeah, it's a lot, but I feel 314 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:54,320 Speaker 1: like you are really using your platform for such a 315 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,440 Speaker 1: good thing and that's so nice to see. 316 00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:59,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, thank you. I try. Like, I think we 317 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:04,560 Speaker 2: can get really bogged down with all sorts of you know, 318 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:08,480 Speaker 2: hard hardships and things that we're going through, things that 319 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:11,080 Speaker 2: we see other people going through, and it's like, I'm 320 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:13,960 Speaker 2: always like, Chrissy, what's the point of posting this? Like 321 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,439 Speaker 2: there are people who are really struggling, and you know, 322 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:20,720 Speaker 2: maybe you're used the time, is better use somewhere else 323 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:23,119 Speaker 2: and like doing something else? And is this self serving? 324 00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:25,800 Speaker 2: What's my intention in this? Blah blah blah? And then 325 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:28,120 Speaker 2: I realize the more vulnerable I am and the more 326 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,760 Speaker 2: I talk about like what I'm really going through, that's 327 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,280 Speaker 2: where we commune, Like that's where people come out of 328 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,040 Speaker 2: the woodwork. And they're like I felt the same way, 329 00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:37,200 Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh, okay, oh. 330 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:40,320 Speaker 1: That totally reminds me of the post you put up 331 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,240 Speaker 1: about going your first pilates class. 332 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:47,080 Speaker 2: Holy moly, everybody, I just want to tell if you're body, 333 00:17:48,119 --> 00:17:50,640 Speaker 2: what I tell Okay, it looks like. 334 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,040 Speaker 1: A torture device, a plus. 335 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:56,200 Speaker 2: Machine exactly right. So this is why every person who's 336 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:59,360 Speaker 2: never ever tried a reformer is scared out of their mind. 337 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,040 Speaker 2: Me and I was like, I'm just going to do it. 338 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,480 Speaker 2: There was like a special like a two for one 339 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:05,600 Speaker 2: class or something. I was like, it's this cute little 340 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,440 Speaker 2: place down the street. I'm just gonna try it. What's 341 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:12,240 Speaker 2: gonna happen? What's gonna happen? Like, maybe I'll be embarrassed, 342 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:14,439 Speaker 2: maybe I'll fall. And I was like, there were some 343 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:16,360 Speaker 2: moves that I look like a potata. 344 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:21,120 Speaker 1: I look like, and they did have all mirrors everywhere too. 345 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:21,840 Speaker 1: There were some. 346 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:25,160 Speaker 2: Cute mirrors on one wall and some person I got 347 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,199 Speaker 2: one of the reformers like sort of, but I it 348 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:30,720 Speaker 2: was a whole thing. It was a whole thing, and 349 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:33,920 Speaker 2: I think that so much of for me, the anticipation 350 00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:37,280 Speaker 2: of something is the worst part. Yeah, and then when 351 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:39,320 Speaker 2: I got there, I was like, Oh, nobody's watching me. 352 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:42,600 Speaker 2: Everybody's focused on their moves and they're breathing and how 353 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:45,800 Speaker 2: they've come to this workout class for themselves. And I 354 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:47,840 Speaker 2: was like, Chrissy, nobody cares how much about you? Okay, 355 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:50,399 Speaker 2: who cares? And I really enjoyed it. It was like 356 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:54,960 Speaker 2: very meditative. The teacher of the instructor, she was incredible. 357 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,600 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, thank goodness I had her as 358 00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:00,199 Speaker 2: my first go But all that to say, you just 359 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,359 Speaker 2: never know who is gonna even relate to that, and 360 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:07,080 Speaker 2: so did so many people did. I was like, oh, Okay, 361 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,040 Speaker 2: this is good. This is a good thing. 362 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:14,240 Speaker 1: Because you you faced a fear, she tackled a challenge. 363 00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:16,040 Speaker 1: You didn't let all that stop you. And I think 364 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:19,120 Speaker 1: that's what people love to hear. I have a friend 365 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:21,919 Speaker 1: that lives in Nashville, that's where you love, right. She 366 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,520 Speaker 1: just opened a plate studio. 367 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,040 Speaker 2: Oh I wish I could. 368 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:29,360 Speaker 1: Remember the name of Okay, her name is my friend 369 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:33,240 Speaker 1: Jason's wife, Naomi. So her name is Naomi Priestley. 370 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:34,920 Speaker 2: Okay, and. 371 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:41,560 Speaker 1: I'll try to part. I have no idea, Okay, Okay, we'll. 372 00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:41,880 Speaker 2: Figure it out. 373 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:42,600 Speaker 1: We'll come back to that. 374 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:46,440 Speaker 2: Well. Yeah, what's cool is Nashville was booming. So there's 375 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:48,760 Speaker 2: so many different businesses and restaurants. 376 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,200 Speaker 1: And yeah, yeah, how long ago did you move there? 377 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:55,479 Speaker 2: Well, officially literally three days before the world shipped down 378 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,640 Speaker 2: during COVID. Okay, I got here and I was like, what, 379 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:00,880 Speaker 2: I can't buy toilet paper, I don't have any furniture. 380 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:02,879 Speaker 2: What's going to happen? And we're like, oh, let's just 381 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,359 Speaker 2: try to survive, because we should try to live. Okay, 382 00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:07,000 Speaker 2: that's what we'll do. And so I stayed it for 383 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,080 Speaker 2: about eight months and then we went back to This 384 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:13,920 Speaker 2: is Us we started our fifth season. Yeah, I think, yeah, 385 00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:16,600 Speaker 2: And then I was coming back and forth just during 386 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:21,400 Speaker 2: hiatus to songwrite and just you know, I've always loved 387 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,320 Speaker 2: country music and I always wanted to write country music, 388 00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:28,040 Speaker 2: and so yeah, it's been I guess seven seven years, 389 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:31,000 Speaker 2: eight years almost, which is crazy to think about. 390 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:32,879 Speaker 1: But you've popped around a lot though. 391 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:38,199 Speaker 2: Well. I lived in LA for twenty one years and 392 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:41,399 Speaker 2: I still have a home there that I love very much, 393 00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:44,560 Speaker 2: and my all my friends of twenty years are there. 394 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:48,399 Speaker 2: But my family's very very close. Here. There's like a 395 00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:53,399 Speaker 2: seven hour drive, and the pace of life in National 396 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:57,280 Speaker 2: is very different than really, yeah, like you can get 397 00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,879 Speaker 2: anywhere in like fifteen minutes and I can't even get 398 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:03,480 Speaker 2: out my neighborhood in fifteen minutes in La. So I 399 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:08,320 Speaker 2: appreciate that, and also I don't know, it's I think 400 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:11,320 Speaker 2: also being around a community that feels like they really 401 00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:15,480 Speaker 2: do help you, you know, so you want to write together, 402 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:16,840 Speaker 2: they're going to write. If they want to go to lunch, 403 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:20,760 Speaker 2: we'll go to lunch. Like it's not I don't know, 404 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 2: it just feels much more communal. 405 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,760 Speaker 1: I feel like every time I turn around, someone's telling 406 00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:28,440 Speaker 1: me they're moving to Nashville or they just moved to Nashville. 407 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,800 Speaker 1: And then that makes me sad for Nashville because the 408 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:34,880 Speaker 1: same thing happened to Austin, right, everybody fled to Austin 409 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,040 Speaker 1: and then that city that just the infrastructure in the 410 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:40,800 Speaker 1: traffic got crazy. I'm just couldn't handle the influx. That's 411 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,600 Speaker 1: what kind of yeah here I heard. Yeah, it's like 412 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:44,880 Speaker 1: a little la in Nashville. 413 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,840 Speaker 2: Now yeah, they're like, why are you guys coming? Please stop? 414 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:51,240 Speaker 2: And I feel that I do feel bad because that's 415 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:55,520 Speaker 2: that's not fun, especially if you're you know, born and 416 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:56,080 Speaker 2: raised here. 417 00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,400 Speaker 1: Do you enjoy that quieter lifestyle? 418 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:03,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, I do, Like I you know, for me, I've 419 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:07,720 Speaker 2: figured out sort of the balance of the crazy caass 420 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:11,320 Speaker 2: of our industry. And then also like, oh okay, I 421 00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:14,960 Speaker 2: love to just be at home or you know, my 422 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,280 Speaker 2: sister and I are obsessed with trying to start at 423 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:18,600 Speaker 2: homestead what I don't. 424 00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:22,280 Speaker 1: Know, wait, a second homestead. 425 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:23,560 Speaker 2: Like this is what we want. I mean, this is 426 00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:25,879 Speaker 2: a pie in the sky, I suppose, but I'm just 427 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:29,200 Speaker 2: so fascinated, Like I think all the benefits to growing 428 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:32,960 Speaker 2: your own you know, vegetables and all that is super cool. 429 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:36,200 Speaker 2: And she lives obviously in Florida, and they have ten 430 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:40,080 Speaker 2: chickens and they have like a little mini form, so 431 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:43,240 Speaker 2: she's like already been doing it for a long time. 432 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:45,480 Speaker 2: So I was like, oh, maybe we should do like 433 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:46,359 Speaker 2: a little homestead. 434 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:49,440 Speaker 1: Let's talk about that a lot, but you know, it's 435 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,960 Speaker 1: the dream. I've talked about that with my best friend too, 436 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:55,440 Speaker 1: like let's just get some property and build little houses 437 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:57,560 Speaker 1: where we will all can be together. 438 00:22:58,160 --> 00:22:58,360 Speaker 3: Yeah. 439 00:22:58,480 --> 00:22:59,679 Speaker 2: Pop, And people have done that. 440 00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:00,560 Speaker 1: People doing that? 441 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:03,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, people, Yes. So you know, I go down the 442 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,040 Speaker 2: old TikTok Instagram, I'm like, wow, I look at this, 443 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:08,280 Speaker 2: And that's all we do is send each other videos 444 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:09,200 Speaker 2: of what could be. 445 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:14,439 Speaker 1: Oh yep, I heard you say once, if you're living, 446 00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:15,919 Speaker 1: you're going through something. 447 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:20,280 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But I think the whole purpose of 448 00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:22,720 Speaker 2: us being on this plane of existence is to evolve 449 00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:28,840 Speaker 2: and hopefully and that we're either the teacher or the student. 450 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:32,320 Speaker 2: Sometimes we're both in whatever scenario. I mean it literally 451 00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:35,399 Speaker 2: could be the woman who just cut you in line 452 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:39,040 Speaker 2: at the DMV and you're like, Okay, what do I 453 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:40,440 Speaker 2: get to teach or what do I get to learn 454 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,200 Speaker 2: in this moment? You know, like, no matter what, and 455 00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:47,640 Speaker 2: so yeah, and that's I think the beauty of life 456 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:52,199 Speaker 2: is like, oh okay, what is what is my what 457 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:55,000 Speaker 2: is my part in this story? How do I make 458 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:55,480 Speaker 2: it better? 459 00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:59,520 Speaker 1: Yeah? Where? Okay? Where you are in your life right now? 460 00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:03,919 Speaker 1: You're a your space whatever it is that's happening with you. 461 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:07,320 Speaker 1: How do you see how you have evolved in the 462 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,920 Speaker 1: last five years? 463 00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:14,080 Speaker 2: Oh wow, Well I finally understood the concept of the 464 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:15,080 Speaker 2: word boundaries. 465 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,240 Speaker 1: Okay, that's it. That's a hard one to. 466 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,359 Speaker 2: It's very hard, and it's still challenging. 467 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:23,919 Speaker 1: How is it hard for you? I'm just curious. 468 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:25,560 Speaker 2: Well, I'm a middle child of five. 469 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,760 Speaker 1: Okay, got it, And so. 470 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,760 Speaker 2: A lot of the time I was like the entertaining 471 00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:33,960 Speaker 2: diplomat or the moderator because I could always see both 472 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:37,760 Speaker 2: sides of a coin or an argument or a perspective, 473 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:43,640 Speaker 2: which I think helps with acting and empathy. But what 474 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:47,359 Speaker 2: ends up happening is I don't always leave room for 475 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:54,480 Speaker 2: myself in particular situations or if not feeling seen or 476 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,159 Speaker 2: heard as a middle child, It's like, Okay, I'll do 477 00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,840 Speaker 2: anything I can to get your attention. Do you want something, Okay, 478 00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:02,560 Speaker 2: I'll buy it. Do you want my attention, Okay, I'll 479 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:05,280 Speaker 2: call you right now, even though maybe I should be 480 00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:07,159 Speaker 2: spending that money on myself, or maybe I should be 481 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:11,399 Speaker 2: spending that hour of like meditating or journaling or whatever 482 00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:14,840 Speaker 2: it is that I want to do for myself. And 483 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:17,240 Speaker 2: I know, like we always understand that concept of we 484 00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:21,520 Speaker 2: put the oxygen mask ourse out on ourselves. I understand 485 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,679 Speaker 2: that conceptually, but to put it into practice for me 486 00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:29,439 Speaker 2: is difficult because a people pleaser, so and then I 487 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:31,640 Speaker 2: you know, I've learned through therapy that people pleasing really 488 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,399 Speaker 2: is a selfish act. And I'm like, cool, cool. 489 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:36,560 Speaker 1: Wait, wait, wait wait, explain that to me. 490 00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:41,639 Speaker 2: Yes, So, essentially, if if you said, Okay, Christy, I 491 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:45,040 Speaker 2: want to go to lunch tomorrow and I want to 492 00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:47,000 Speaker 2: go to lunch, I definitely want to go to lunch, 493 00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:49,359 Speaker 2: but I know that I've already made a commitment to 494 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,080 Speaker 2: someone else. But I don't want to say no to 495 00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:55,119 Speaker 2: you because I don't want you to be upset if 496 00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:58,200 Speaker 2: I say. Well, and so I've already made this prior commitment, 497 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:01,320 Speaker 2: and so I'm like, okay, do I stretch myself so 498 00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:03,640 Speaker 2: within that I try to make both things happen because 499 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,680 Speaker 2: I want to please both of you, and in turn, 500 00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:09,520 Speaker 2: inevitably can't make it to lunch with you because something 501 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:13,119 Speaker 2: that I already previously planned went over time. Then I 502 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:16,159 Speaker 2: disappointed you by just not being honest. 503 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:19,280 Speaker 1: And thing, I get it. Oh my gosh, this is 504 00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:22,360 Speaker 1: I'm figuring out one of my daughters. As you're speaking, 505 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:26,399 Speaker 1: this is incredible, But how do you take now that 506 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:28,879 Speaker 1: I can see that side of it, how do you 507 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,959 Speaker 1: right the wrong of being selfish? You know, not just 508 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:35,719 Speaker 1: I mean yeah, for them, for the other people, but 509 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,760 Speaker 1: also for yourself, because you don't want to. 510 00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:41,480 Speaker 2: Be selfish, right. What I want is to be able 511 00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:44,880 Speaker 2: to honor myself, which when you honor yourself, you can 512 00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:48,320 Speaker 2: be honest with yourself and with others. So if I 513 00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:51,359 Speaker 2: would say, oh my gosh, Jenny, I've always wanted to 514 00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:53,040 Speaker 2: go to lunch with you, but I can't. I've already 515 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,760 Speaker 2: made this prior commitment. Can we set up for another day? 516 00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:58,600 Speaker 2: And you would be like, yeah, whatever, But in my mind, 517 00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:00,480 Speaker 2: I'm thinking she hates me, sh'd ever want go to 518 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:03,960 Speaker 2: lunch again? You know, you create this whole scenario because 519 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:07,239 Speaker 2: for me and my trauma and my core wounds is 520 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,280 Speaker 2: like not being chosen, not feeling seen or heard. And 521 00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,639 Speaker 2: so if I don't do what you ask me to do, 522 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:16,159 Speaker 2: you're not gonna like me. And so I have to 523 00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:19,360 Speaker 2: be okay with whatever you're gonna feel because your feelings 524 00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:23,280 Speaker 2: are yours and they're valid, but they're not facts, right, 525 00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:25,640 Speaker 2: So it doesn't mean that, like, and you could be mad, 526 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:28,440 Speaker 2: but I can't control and I can't manage your feelings. 527 00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:31,560 Speaker 2: I can only be honest. And then in turn you 528 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,800 Speaker 2: trust me and you're like, oh, no, I know that 529 00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:35,879 Speaker 2: Chrissie's not gonna do something she doesn't want to do 530 00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:39,040 Speaker 2: for whoever's sake, and good. I'm so glad because it 531 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:40,960 Speaker 2: then probably helps you to sit in a seat of 532 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:44,400 Speaker 2: power you don't have to do the same thing. And 533 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:49,040 Speaker 2: so again it's putting into practice, like it's it's not easy, 534 00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:53,520 Speaker 2: because I certainly have challenges all the time. I'm like, Okay, 535 00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:56,679 Speaker 2: before you call your sister, before you call your family, 536 00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:01,040 Speaker 2: what does Christy need to do? Right? Like, oh, would 537 00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:04,280 Speaker 2: it feel better if you took a shower before you 538 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,480 Speaker 2: called her? Or do the dishes? Something simple, like simple, 539 00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:12,119 Speaker 2: just little things. Yeah, that way I'm not stressed or 540 00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:14,400 Speaker 2: I don't feel like, okay, I'm not taking care of myself. 541 00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:19,560 Speaker 3: So it's it's a whole very Yeah, that's layered. 542 00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:23,159 Speaker 1: Yeah, you're learning, you're learning that in therapy. 543 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:27,040 Speaker 2: Yes, this is why I think therapy just should be 544 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:30,520 Speaker 2: so accessible for everyone. 545 00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:32,160 Speaker 1: You know, especially human people, every human being. 546 00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:34,640 Speaker 2: You know, Like I'm saying, if you're living. You're you're 547 00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:38,640 Speaker 2: experiencing life, and we are We're not like here's when 548 00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:41,800 Speaker 2: you're born, Like, here's your toolbox. You know exactly what 549 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:42,240 Speaker 2: to do with it. 550 00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:43,920 Speaker 1: Give you nothing, Yeah. 551 00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:49,680 Speaker 2: A blanket and a little beanie hat. No, we need 552 00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:50,800 Speaker 2: tools and a blueprint, sir. 553 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:53,040 Speaker 1: I need instructions. 554 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:56,880 Speaker 2: Yes, I need the pamphlet, the manual, the book. Yes. 555 00:28:57,200 --> 00:29:00,240 Speaker 2: So you know it's cool because we get to learn 556 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:03,080 Speaker 2: as we go and hopefully impart that. And I've learned 557 00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:08,040 Speaker 2: so much from people and therapists. So yeah, again, not 558 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:11,680 Speaker 2: not doing it perfectly, but trying, and I think that's hoping. 559 00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:17,280 Speaker 1: That's the first step. I think acknowledging the areas where 560 00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:20,520 Speaker 1: you're not living up to be the person that you 561 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:23,520 Speaker 1: want to be, or the areas that aren't working for you, 562 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:28,080 Speaker 1: that's the first step. Yeah, but that's hard. 563 00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:29,800 Speaker 2: It's the first step, and it's a big step. 564 00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:41,800 Speaker 1: You co wrote a children's book, Yeah, tell me about that. 565 00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:46,480 Speaker 2: So I wrote the first book. My grandmother, who lived 566 00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:48,200 Speaker 2: with us in Japan when my dad was in the Navy, 567 00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:52,000 Speaker 2: when I was a kid. She always instilled faith in 568 00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:56,040 Speaker 2: our lives and we grew up Catholic, and I just 569 00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:59,720 Speaker 2: I never knew. Like the first book was when I 570 00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:02,160 Speaker 2: talked to Got to Talk about You, And it's basically 571 00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:05,840 Speaker 2: a gentle introduction to prayer for kids. And because when 572 00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:08,240 Speaker 2: I would go to you know, Mass or go to church, 573 00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,560 Speaker 2: I'm like, wait, do we only pray at church? 574 00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:10,840 Speaker 1: Like? 575 00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:15,880 Speaker 2: Can I only talk to God when I'm in his house? 576 00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:16,680 Speaker 2: His house? 577 00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:16,920 Speaker 1: Right? 578 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:20,040 Speaker 2: Only the house of the Lord. And so you know, 579 00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:22,800 Speaker 2: of course, as you get older and you learn things, 580 00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:24,840 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I just want to impart that, like 581 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,560 Speaker 2: you can talk to him anywhere, anytime about anything. And 582 00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:33,800 Speaker 2: so and that also was like a twofold concept of 583 00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:38,160 Speaker 2: people who were praying to God for children that they've 584 00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:42,240 Speaker 2: wanted or for their children. You know. Again, I don't 585 00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:45,200 Speaker 2: have children. I taught preschool back in Florida, have ten 586 00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:50,520 Speaker 2: nieces and nephews, so I understand to an extent. But yeah, 587 00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:55,360 Speaker 2: that was just something that was always like, oh, I 588 00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:58,240 Speaker 2: mean I always want to write children's books, always, and 589 00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:01,000 Speaker 2: so I'm happy that it's It started with that. And 590 00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:04,680 Speaker 2: then when we were reading the book out and about 591 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:08,200 Speaker 2: so many kids wanted to talk about their feelings, you know, 592 00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:11,240 Speaker 2: because they aren't seen or heard, and I know that 593 00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:13,920 Speaker 2: like obviously we're all kids at some point, and we 594 00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:18,240 Speaker 2: all are just big kids, and you know, but that 595 00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:21,320 Speaker 2: treating the soil is really important. And so I was like, oh, 596 00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:24,040 Speaker 2: the second book has to be about feelings. And when 597 00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:27,680 Speaker 2: I talk to God, I talk about feelings. So yeah, 598 00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:31,360 Speaker 2: I'm it's so wonderful because even if people don't believe 599 00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:33,560 Speaker 2: in God or they don't have a religious you know, 600 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:37,600 Speaker 2: sort of aspect of their life, they're like, these are great, 601 00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:41,320 Speaker 2: great tools for me to be able to have a 602 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:44,800 Speaker 2: conversation with my daughter and my son about feeling disappointed 603 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:47,640 Speaker 2: or sad or excited or you know, things that we 604 00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:50,280 Speaker 2: can't name. If we can't name a feeling, we can't 605 00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:53,480 Speaker 2: communicate about it, and we can't honor that and feel 606 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:57,800 Speaker 2: validated in that feeling. So yeah, it's just been it's 607 00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:00,760 Speaker 2: been really cool. And I've written to an album for 608 00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:01,840 Speaker 2: each book. 609 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,840 Speaker 1: That music that goes with it. I love that. I 610 00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:07,720 Speaker 1: bet I bet kids really enjoy that. I really it's 611 00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:13,080 Speaker 1: such a tender way to connect music with big messages. 612 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,600 Speaker 1: Did you grow up in a house of feelings? 613 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:20,040 Speaker 2: Oh, we have feelings, but we didn't talk about them. 614 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:23,840 Speaker 2: You know. It was we make a joke or we self. 615 00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:28,120 Speaker 1: Deprecate or you know, rush it under the rug, rush. 616 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:29,160 Speaker 2: On the rug, or I'm going to give you something 617 00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:31,080 Speaker 2: to cry about, like that is a famous line that 618 00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:34,600 Speaker 2: I heard. I'm like, wait, but I'm really sad about something. 619 00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:39,920 Speaker 2: You know, my parents were in the whole era of 620 00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:43,800 Speaker 2: kids are seen and not heard. If they don't feel 621 00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:47,280 Speaker 2: like their feelings even matter, how are they going to 622 00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:50,160 Speaker 2: know how to communicate about my feelings and know what 623 00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:54,600 Speaker 2: to do with my feelings? They're too big into like uh, intimidating. 624 00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:59,240 Speaker 2: So yeah, I mean it's interesting now because we we 625 00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:03,959 Speaker 2: joke a lot, like a lot of humor. You know, 626 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:08,480 Speaker 2: the pain is really shrouded with humor my family, and 627 00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:10,520 Speaker 2: you know, you laugh and so you don't cry. But 628 00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:14,320 Speaker 2: you know, we're working on it. We're working on it. 629 00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:19,440 Speaker 1: We're Yeah, it's hard to it's hard to express your 630 00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:26,840 Speaker 1: feelings in a house that doesn't feel safe. Yes, yeah, 631 00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:29,880 Speaker 1: for sure. How did you get your feelings out when 632 00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:33,720 Speaker 1: you were younger? Though, Like, oh I was a little chrissy. 633 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:37,240 Speaker 2: Like oh gosh, well, I wrote a lot of like 634 00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:41,280 Speaker 2: poetry like middle school a little bit younger. I mean, 635 00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:45,360 Speaker 2: I definitely love music of all genres, So I think 636 00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:48,520 Speaker 2: that was really helpful. And I think that's why I'm 637 00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:53,240 Speaker 2: so transfixed on music now because it's so as you're saying, like, yeah, 638 00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:58,320 Speaker 2: it's all encompassing and very healing. But some music, yes, 639 00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:04,080 Speaker 2: was big. There's some music I'm like, it feels like torture. Yeah, 640 00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:07,320 Speaker 2: please please please, But you know, the stuff that you 641 00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:11,959 Speaker 2: resonate and you your frequency vibrates on for sure. But yeah, 642 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:15,160 Speaker 2: I mean I also was sort of the jokes or 643 00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:20,839 Speaker 2: you know when yeah, the silly girl, And that's sort 644 00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:23,120 Speaker 2: of how I got through a lot of the feelings. 645 00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:25,439 Speaker 2: And I think, you know, obviously, I've had a food 646 00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:27,879 Speaker 2: issue all my life, and I think that has quite 647 00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:31,560 Speaker 2: a massive part in how I've handled things because I 648 00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:35,840 Speaker 2: just stuffed the feelings down with food. So you know, 649 00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:37,840 Speaker 2: it's a coping mechanism. It's not a good one, but 650 00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:39,200 Speaker 2: it is one. 651 00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:44,520 Speaker 1: So yeah, I think food plays such a huge role 652 00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:48,520 Speaker 1: in people processing all kinds of things. 653 00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:52,319 Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure, And because it's accessible and you have 654 00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:54,920 Speaker 2: to do it right, Like you have to eat to survive. 655 00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:56,839 Speaker 2: It's not like, oh, okay, I have to drink this 656 00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:59,320 Speaker 2: drink or I have to you know, smoke a cigarette 657 00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:03,359 Speaker 2: or whatever drug like you need food, so it makes 658 00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:04,719 Speaker 2: a little more. 659 00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:09,680 Speaker 1: Cunning your good word, good word for. 660 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:13,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, okay, I don't all right, all right, 661 00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:15,560 Speaker 2: all right? So you know it's and that again is 662 00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:19,480 Speaker 2: a process. And for me, it's like and I always 663 00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:22,080 Speaker 2: say mind, body, soul, spirit, because it's like all of 664 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,960 Speaker 2: it it has to like fit like a puzzle. Because 665 00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:28,200 Speaker 2: sometimes I've had a couple of a couple of those 666 00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:31,080 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, yeah, I got that handle, and I'm like, no, 667 00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:34,279 Speaker 2: you don't, you know, And I just sort of now, 668 00:35:34,360 --> 00:35:36,879 Speaker 2: like the puzzle pieces are like locking in. 669 00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:42,640 Speaker 1: So how do you stop yourself from Like I'm literally curious, 670 00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:45,680 Speaker 1: like how like when you're in one of those spaces 671 00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:47,279 Speaker 1: where you don't feel like you have control, how do 672 00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:48,040 Speaker 1: you stop yourself? 673 00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:52,319 Speaker 2: I think for me, it's before you even get to 674 00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:58,640 Speaker 2: that moment. And that's why like prayer, meditation, journaling, having therapy, 675 00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:04,600 Speaker 2: intuitively eating, knowing that I have like there is it's 676 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:06,640 Speaker 2: been helpful for me because I was very much over 677 00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:10,000 Speaker 2: disciplined growing up and so I always thought like, oh 678 00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:15,080 Speaker 2: my gosh, like tracking macros and carbs and this and that, 679 00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:18,120 Speaker 2: and then this is so like I feel like I'm 680 00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:20,960 Speaker 2: just being disciplined, And then I realized, oh no, like 681 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:24,960 Speaker 2: that discipline is absolute liberation, and so I don't have 682 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:32,200 Speaker 2: to obsess about things specifically, well whatever, I change the food, 683 00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:34,520 Speaker 2: and so I know that food is not the issue, 684 00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:37,600 Speaker 2: it's the symptom. And so I'm like, Okay, what's really 685 00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:41,839 Speaker 2: going on? What's happening? Like did you not say something 686 00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:44,120 Speaker 2: you wanted to say to someone? Did you agree to 687 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,440 Speaker 2: do something you didn't want to do? Did you defer 688 00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:49,880 Speaker 2: to someone that you know might have had more experience 689 00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,680 Speaker 2: than you, but you intuitively know it wasn't right? 690 00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:53,279 Speaker 3: You know? 691 00:36:53,400 --> 00:37:00,319 Speaker 2: So I just try to constantly what they say, uncovered, discovered, discard, right, 692 00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:04,000 Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, okay, if I do all these things, okay, 693 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,680 Speaker 2: then I'm not going to the food for self soothing 694 00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:10,120 Speaker 2: or because I'm angry or can they say, like you 695 00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:12,160 Speaker 2: eat something crunch eats because you're angry. If you eat 696 00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:15,920 Speaker 2: something like ice cream, it's soothing, it's smooth, you know. 697 00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:18,759 Speaker 2: So all those things have a place in time. But 698 00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:22,480 Speaker 2: like if anything's disordered, which my food intake was for 699 00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:26,399 Speaker 2: a long time, I'm like, oh this isn't this isn't right. 700 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:29,880 Speaker 2: So just trying to preempt any of that before it 701 00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:33,160 Speaker 2: to the I'm about to make a bad decision. I'm 702 00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:34,160 Speaker 2: going to regret, you. 703 00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:36,560 Speaker 1: Know, Yes, yes, yes, I've been there. 704 00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:40,040 Speaker 2: Yeah. And not to vilify food. I think so much 705 00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:46,120 Speaker 2: of our world is obsessed with weight to a degree 706 00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:50,640 Speaker 2: that it's like, if you're overweight, you are. It's just 707 00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:52,960 Speaker 2: the worst thing. It's the worst thing in the world. 708 00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:58,920 Speaker 2: But there are people who are, you know, unfortunately outwardly 709 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:03,080 Speaker 2: thin but really going through a lot mentally, emotionally, or 710 00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:06,279 Speaker 2: not even eating at all, or you know, taking a 711 00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:11,160 Speaker 2: prescription drug and drinking diet cokes and smoking cigarettes. But 712 00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:14,560 Speaker 2: you're like, oh, but they're they're thin, so they're attractive. 713 00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:17,879 Speaker 2: And I'm like, but they're not healthy either. So it's 714 00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:21,160 Speaker 2: hard for everyone. Yeah, Like if you've been an ingenue 715 00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:23,439 Speaker 2: and you've looked a certain way and then you as 716 00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:26,719 Speaker 2: we age, it's like, it's silly to me that we 717 00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:31,319 Speaker 2: aren't more supported and with our elders and like the 718 00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:35,160 Speaker 2: knowledge and the experiences that they have had and they 719 00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:37,759 Speaker 2: can share with us, Like why is that not celebrated 720 00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:40,399 Speaker 2: so many other culture as it is here. It's like, oh, 721 00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:43,120 Speaker 2: God forbid you get a gray hair, God forbid you 722 00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:45,920 Speaker 2: you gain a pound God for you know, You're like, 723 00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:49,640 Speaker 2: why are we so transfixed on the vehicle and not 724 00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:54,680 Speaker 2: like what's inside? You know, to navigate it is like 725 00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:59,840 Speaker 2: a daily it's daily, sometimes it's hourly, you know, because 726 00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:06,120 Speaker 2: we can. It's just hard. I think everybody, no matter 727 00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:08,520 Speaker 2: where they've come from, what the career looked like, what 728 00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:10,799 Speaker 2: they want it to look like. And it doesn't even 729 00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:14,200 Speaker 2: have to be in entertainment. But you know, we all are. 730 00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:17,799 Speaker 2: All we want is to be loved. And we do 731 00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:20,080 Speaker 2: the things that we do because we want to be 732 00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:22,879 Speaker 2: respected because we want to be loved, you know. And 733 00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:28,040 Speaker 2: I have had to come to terms with like there 734 00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:30,440 Speaker 2: are people that are not going to like me. They 735 00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:32,680 Speaker 2: just aren't and whether they know me or not, and 736 00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:35,440 Speaker 2: I'm out a cup of tea, okay, you know, and 737 00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:37,880 Speaker 2: it's not personal. And that's such a big thing for 738 00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:41,320 Speaker 2: me becoming, you know, out of my people pleasing nonsense 739 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:45,440 Speaker 2: and realizing that I'm just I'm just a person trying 740 00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:48,360 Speaker 2: to figure this out too. And if I can have 741 00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:50,320 Speaker 2: grace for other people, I can have it for myself, 742 00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:57,920 Speaker 2: right And none of us know what we're doing, you know, 743 00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:00,960 Speaker 2: so like why do we talk or about that as 744 00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:05,000 Speaker 2: opposed to like the highlight reel on Instagram that makes 745 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:09,360 Speaker 2: people feel so like alone. I know, I watch videos 746 00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:11,560 Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh my gosh, I need to be 747 00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:12,759 Speaker 2: doing this and I need to be doing that. 748 00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:15,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so it's not a good feeling. 749 00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:18,320 Speaker 2: No, it's not. And so then I have to like, Okay, 750 00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:22,160 Speaker 2: let me reprogram what I'm really thinking, Like, what do 751 00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:24,200 Speaker 2: I need to be doing in my life? Is it 752 00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:26,320 Speaker 2: because I knew that I should have woken up earlier 753 00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:28,080 Speaker 2: to go to the gym, and now I feel bad 754 00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:32,240 Speaker 2: And so now I'm jealous that this person put themselves 755 00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:34,000 Speaker 2: first and they have the discipline that I didn't put 756 00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:38,000 Speaker 2: in this morning. Because when things really like strike a nerve, 757 00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:42,400 Speaker 2: it's it's because usually of my own stuff or if 758 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:45,239 Speaker 2: I'm jealous or if I feel whatever fill in the 759 00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:49,479 Speaker 2: blank with whatever emotion. At that second, I'm like, oh no, no, no, no, no, 760 00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:52,200 Speaker 2: no no, because at the core of who I am 761 00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:54,759 Speaker 2: and who I want to be is like happy for people, right, 762 00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:58,960 Speaker 2: And I also know that I can't take anything away 763 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:03,160 Speaker 2: from someone it's meant for them and vice versa. So 764 00:41:03,239 --> 00:41:07,880 Speaker 2: I know that. And also when I'm grateful for the 765 00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:10,719 Speaker 2: things that I have. What's so cool is that the 766 00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:14,400 Speaker 2: more you receive, the more grateful you are, true, which 767 00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:20,160 Speaker 2: is like such an incredible concept. But again, sort of 768 00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:24,600 Speaker 2: separating the feeling from the fact, you know, is hard, 769 00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:27,840 Speaker 2: and especially when we're going through whatever it is that 770 00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:32,239 Speaker 2: we're going through, like you name it, we've got it all, 771 00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:38,400 Speaker 2: you know, and nobody, nobody's exempt from that. So yeah, again, 772 00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:41,880 Speaker 2: there's a lot of tools in that toolbox. She's heavy 773 00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:43,200 Speaker 2: that box. That toolbox. 774 00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:45,720 Speaker 1: I can't even lift my box. 775 00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:49,319 Speaker 2: Yeah, I know. I'm like, I can't even open them. 776 00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:53,279 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my gosh. But I know that when 777 00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:56,320 Speaker 2: I put those things into practice, I'm I'm a better 778 00:41:57,400 --> 00:41:58,200 Speaker 2: I'm better for it. 779 00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:03,640 Speaker 1: And do you this is what I do when I'm 780 00:42:03,719 --> 00:42:07,520 Speaker 1: not practicing what I know I need to be practicing 781 00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:11,360 Speaker 1: for my best life, my well being, my healthiest me. 782 00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:15,839 Speaker 1: I am so ashamed and I feel guilty and I'm 783 00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:17,080 Speaker 1: angry at myself. 784 00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:21,719 Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, and you project that anger to someone else. 785 00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:24,440 Speaker 1: And then there go your relationships. 786 00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:27,160 Speaker 2: And there we go and then what we're alone sad 787 00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:29,760 Speaker 2: and angry. Knows. 788 00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:34,520 Speaker 1: I know, for a while that can be nice, like 789 00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:38,239 Speaker 1: on the couch, sure, but then you kind of get 790 00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:42,520 Speaker 1: sick of that, and you gotta think, like, Okay, what 791 00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:44,879 Speaker 1: do I need to do to get the life I want? 792 00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:49,480 Speaker 2: Yes? Yes, And sometimes the things that we don't want 793 00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:52,040 Speaker 2: to do, yeah, at least in the moment, and then 794 00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:55,640 Speaker 2: we realize, oh, this was advantageous. Okay, next time, I 795 00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:59,120 Speaker 2: hope to do that again. But it is all a process. 796 00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:04,800 Speaker 2: That's why you know, it's important to have grace for yourself. 797 00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:08,480 Speaker 1: Absolutely, I mean the most important thing, yeah, for yourself 798 00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:10,759 Speaker 1: and for others, because, like you said before, we don't 799 00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:11,719 Speaker 1: know what we're doing. 800 00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:14,719 Speaker 2: No, don't. A therapist always says, she's like, if you 801 00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:17,160 Speaker 2: were feeling bad, Chrissie, why would you throw another arrow 802 00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:20,759 Speaker 2: into your heart? You're feeling bad for feeling bad, You're 803 00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:21,880 Speaker 2: just like hurting. 804 00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:25,320 Speaker 1: It's like it's like this, Yeah, it's like a self 805 00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:32,400 Speaker 1: inflicting some sort of reward. Yeah, I know there's no reward. 806 00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:32,759 Speaker 3: I know. 807 00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:35,480 Speaker 2: I was like, was I absent when whatever that thing 808 00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:38,480 Speaker 2: in the brain was given out? Because why can't I? 809 00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:41,759 Speaker 1: Why can't I have said that so many times, like 810 00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:45,400 Speaker 1: why does everybody else get to be happy? And I 811 00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:46,680 Speaker 1: can't fucking figure it out. 812 00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:49,880 Speaker 2: It's wild, it's wild. And then you know, we know 813 00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:51,960 Speaker 2: that we put these tools into action. 814 00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:57,680 Speaker 1: It changes, It changes things, doesn't not challenging. I just 815 00:43:57,719 --> 00:43:59,919 Speaker 1: love Chrissy though. There's so much more to talk about, 816 00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:02,279 Speaker 1: So watch for part two of this episode. And you 817 00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:06,000 Speaker 1: know what, As always, if you subscribe right now to 818 00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,640 Speaker 1: I Choose Me, you'll never miss a single moment.