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Speaker 1: Talking to Death is released weekly every Wednesday and brought

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Speaker 1: to you absolutely free. But if you want at free

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Speaker 1: listening and exclusive bonuses, subscribe to Tenderfoot Plus at tenderfootplus

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Speaker 1: dot com or on Apple Podcasts.

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Speaker 2: Talking to Death is a production of tenderfoot TV and

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Speaker 2: iHeart Podcasts. Listener discretion is advised.

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Speaker 1: So what's up?

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Speaker 2: How you doing?

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Speaker 1: How you doing?

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Speaker 2: What's happening?

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Speaker 1: What accent is that?

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Speaker 2: I'm not sure? People say I fake an accent all

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Speaker 2: the time. I don't know what my real one is

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Speaker 2: at all.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well just save like the Boston is what it's Oh,

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Speaker 1: I could actually hear that a little bit. Now are

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Speaker 1: you from Boston?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Okay, thirty minutes out? God forbid, I actually say Boston.

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Speaker 1: Are you a Boston sports fan?

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Speaker 2: So here's the thing. Pats were winning. We were on

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Speaker 2: a winning streak. It was so much fun, high school,

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Speaker 2: lots of parades. You don't know anything about that.

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Speaker 3: I do.

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Speaker 2: Now they're not winning. I kind of want to jump

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Speaker 2: to Bill's mafia. But that's that's just me.

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Speaker 1: I mean i'd support that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean they go crazy, they jump on I

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Speaker 2: mean it's for the face.

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Speaker 1: Looks fun.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to join them.

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Speaker 1: It's like also, like I like Stefan Diggs. He's fucking dope.

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Speaker 1: Who is it Stefan Diggs? Yeah? No, me too, man,

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Speaker 1: his swag is out of control. It doesn't have to

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Speaker 1: be that. He doesn't have to be that cool, but

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Speaker 1: he is.

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Speaker 2: I have no idea. I have no idea about sports.

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Speaker 1: I literally look up Stepan Diggs when you leave here

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Speaker 1: and to go. Damn, he's pretty tight. He is a

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Speaker 1: model or be a wide receiver. I don't know bills.

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Speaker 1: So you gave me this. Yep. It's a pirate water,

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Speaker 1: and I'm just good. I'm gonna try it and see,

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Speaker 1: give it a whirl. All right, this is Miami vice

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Speaker 1: pirate water. Okay, it's a good though.

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Speaker 2: That's your bang, and that's what in terms of whatever.

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Speaker 1: It's for, it's like three and a half beers or

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Speaker 1: two I pas.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well you're thirty. You think in terms of I

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Speaker 2: pas how many?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I think that's like how many? Well, dude, remember

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Speaker 1: one I pa is still like two point five beers.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true.

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Speaker 1: Okay, it smells a little reminiscent.

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Speaker 2: Smell like Miami.

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Speaker 1: It's actually not bad. That's huge to hear I have

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Speaker 1: back at kill. There's a lot packing in there. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I can also see how you could just drink

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Speaker 1: too many of these and be like, I don't know

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Speaker 1: what happened that night. Yeah, it's actually pretty good.

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Speaker 2: I'm a I'm a heavy drinker, have a high tolerance.

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Speaker 2: Two of those, I'm weird getting Yeah, which is great.

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Speaker 2: They're only two dollars. That's four dollars night. Not too bad.

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Speaker 1: It's yeah, I mean the four loco is the comparison

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Speaker 1: without the fucking coke in it.

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Speaker 2: Basically right, Yeah, it's its older brother.

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Speaker 1: It's so I used to do uh coke coke meth No,

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Speaker 1: I mean.

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Speaker 2: I never did.

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Speaker 1: I still do this. I used to do like I

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Speaker 1: used to be in a band, like rapping and did

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Speaker 1: my own music videos and stuff. And this is circa

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Speaker 1: two thousand and eight nine when I first started doing that,

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Speaker 1: like white wrapper pop punk vibes. You know, you could

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Speaker 1: google it and figure it out and see like, oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: they still exist out there, but spit a bar this

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Speaker 1: hell no, I also do you a link. You'll be like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, he wasn't kidding. No, but this company

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Speaker 1: reached out to me just cold emailed me in like

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Speaker 1: two thousand and eight or nine, and they were called four.

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Speaker 1: It was just four four and they had this drink

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Speaker 1: called four that was like an energy drink and it

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Speaker 1: had a lot of alcohol in it. They're like, we'll

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Speaker 1: send you these if you put them in your music video.

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Speaker 1: It is like a crate of them. And then it

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Speaker 1: became for loco. Oh and then they sent us a

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Speaker 1: whole ship ton of those and then they like had

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Speaker 1: to wipe the stores of these ones that we had.

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Speaker 2: First patch didn't go so well.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I think they call it four or

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Speaker 1: back in the day for because if you have four,

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Speaker 1: you die.

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Speaker 2: They didn't want to say die that. They were like,

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Speaker 2: we need a rebrand, so like we could call it

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Speaker 2: for death. Like nah, logo just makes you.

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Speaker 1: A little logo. Okay, So you have a huge TikTok following.

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Speaker 1: I mean I have like a thousand followers on my TikTok.

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Speaker 2: You know I'm decent.

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Speaker 1: I'm decent and I'm okay. Does it do you feel cooler? Uh?

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Speaker 2: No, I'll always I'll always feel like a loser. I

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Speaker 2: mean middle school crushed me.

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Speaker 1: Man, Oh shit, what happened?

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Speaker 3: Well?

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Speaker 2: No, it's like I don't know it's I don't know

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Speaker 2: if it's different between uh girls and boys in middle school,

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Speaker 2: but something about middle school, I just I will always

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Speaker 2: be a loser.

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Speaker 1: Middle school is my least favorite one.

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Speaker 2: Yeah's tough.

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Speaker 1: Sixth grade was the worst year of my life in school.

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Speaker 1: I think that was. It was a tough time. So

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Speaker 1: why was it so tough for you?

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Speaker 2: You know? I got jumped a handful of times throughout

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Speaker 2: my school years.

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Speaker 1: Jumped.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, not even in fifth fights, just absolutely unfairly jumped.

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Speaker 1: Like stealing your backpack. What are they doing?

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Speaker 2: No, they never They just wanted to beat me down

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Speaker 2: mentally and physically. Uh, never taken anything of value because

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Speaker 2: I was in of value.

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Speaker 1: Really, who is they?

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Speaker 3: Ah?

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Speaker 1: I did you name the older kids, the bullies?

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Speaker 2: Or there was these girls? You thought I was talking

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Speaker 2: to her boyfriend. I'm just I'm still scared of boys

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Speaker 2: to this day. Uh. There was this other girl. I

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Speaker 2: was the only one who went to her birthday party

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Speaker 2: in fifth grade. Sixth grade, she decided, you're my target.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna get you in between bells, this bitch she'd

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Speaker 2: come swinging, fucking teachers would be trying to like box

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Speaker 2: her out, like playing basketball. Another crazy one was I

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Speaker 2: was at a twenty one Savage concert night before an

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Speaker 2: AP test only API ever took. I didn't know you

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Speaker 2: had to pay for the test at the end of

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Speaker 2: the year, So that's why I took that class. I

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Speaker 2: just I just thought it would be easy. And yeah,

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Speaker 2: So went to twenty one Savage concert, tried to get

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Speaker 2: to the front and I had some words, probably not

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Speaker 2: great words with this woman and her boyfriend stepped in

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Speaker 2: and he said, you can't talk to my woman like that.

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Speaker 1: How old these people? They were a lot.

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Speaker 2: Older than seventeen year old me, that's for sure. And

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Speaker 2: homeboy wind mealed me. At the twenty one Savage concert, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I was with my best friend Brie and her the

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Speaker 2: friends were holding her back, saying, just like it.

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Speaker 1: Happened, just let it happen, all right, that's like actually fucked.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And then twenty one Savage said the sound sounds fake.

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Speaker 2: But then twenty one s aage stop the concert and

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Speaker 2: he was like, y'all wilding down there, and I was like,

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Speaker 2: twenty one help.

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Speaker 1: That's fucked, so okay. Then what happened? Then you?

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Speaker 2: They ran out, never got him. They tried to offer

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Speaker 2: me free tickets for the rest of the year. Like

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Speaker 2: one concert, uh the House of Blues. Sorry, yeah, but

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Speaker 2: the only one playing was like Sammy Adams. I don't

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Speaker 2: even know if you know who that is.

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Speaker 1: I actually do. Yeah. Did I just age myself?

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Speaker 2: No? No, because I know him.

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Speaker 1: Dude. He had that one song. I mean, I don't know.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I was like, you're talking about I'm gonna pull it up.

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Speaker 1: He samples a song that is also a hit. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I like that piano song. They walking on Glass song, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: walking less or Broken. It's something that it's a local

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Speaker 1: hero do. Yeah. So back in the day, I wanted

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Speaker 1: to be that guy. Oh yeah, I mean like a man.

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Speaker 1: And you know, I guess career wise didn't entirely work out.

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Speaker 2: I think you ended up a lot cooler, so well.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. Uh, I don't I mean no disrespect to him, right,

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Speaker 1: but I was like, man, how are these guys doing

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Speaker 1: this making smashes like this? Oh damn it. I don't

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Speaker 1: even know his top anymore. Okay, I got this. Okay.

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Speaker 1: I will say the the intro is bad. I'm not

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Speaker 1: a hype right now, but once the piano comes.

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Speaker 2: Right, oh yes, crizer. Sammy Adams Man.

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Speaker 1: I think what I realized though, is I actually just

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Speaker 1: liked the song they sampled more than that song.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's usually the case.

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Speaker 1: And it's also a slap.

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Speaker 2: That's the sampled song.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't say this song sucks, No, doesn't.

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Speaker 2: Nope, you can't not smile when you hear this song.

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Speaker 1: It's like this song comes on, you go it's to

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Speaker 1: be okay.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like everything's going to be at least decent.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I said. It was like also listened

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Speaker 1: to that. No, So tell me about your podcasting career

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Speaker 1: so far. Do you want to do podcasts or I

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Speaker 1: don't know, like what is what is it even like

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Speaker 1: these days? Is that a career path? Yeah, that's a thing.

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Speaker 2: Ever since I was a little baby child, always wanted

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Speaker 2: to be a podcaster. It was a really lucrative.

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Speaker 1: Decision twenty four years ago.

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, no, isn't it crazy though? That wasn't even

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Speaker 2: like a thing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not a thing that you I'm like, was

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Speaker 1: it at all?

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Speaker 2: Like in I mean for me, No, the podcasts didn't

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Speaker 2: become relative till I mean everyone knew like how Stern

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Speaker 2: had serious and like hmm, but that's still radio in

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Speaker 2: my eyes. Like podcasts didn't really become happening in my

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Speaker 2: time till like I was in high school, I guess,

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Speaker 2: but like it was never like a like a thought.

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Speaker 1: Yeah for me, I guess I made up in Vanish

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Speaker 1: in twenty sixteen. I think Cereal came out in twenty fifteen.

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Speaker 2: Ahead of its time, though it was a good time

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Speaker 2: to get in.

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Speaker 1: That also hurts my head. Yeah, And I was like

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Speaker 1: I didn't think I was getting into anything. I was

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Speaker 1: just like, maybe I do that, Yeah, this was silly yeah,

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Speaker 1: or or I was like and then I'll go on

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Speaker 1: to the next one.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not gonna be like a colossal failure in

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Speaker 2: that amaru.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but I guess there was probably more of a

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Speaker 1: I don't know pathway to it or like I don't

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Speaker 1: know proof of concept. Yeah, I don't know, Like what's

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Speaker 1: your I'm actually just curious about your perspective on how

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Speaker 1: you got to where you are right now and what

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Speaker 1: you saw to make you think that.

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Speaker 2: So my friend Brianna, she got hired by Barstool when

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Speaker 2: she was a junior in college, and they told her

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Speaker 2: that she had moved to New York to like full

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Speaker 2: time work there, so she had to drop out of school.

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Speaker 2: But before she moved, she gave me a call. She's like, dude,

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Speaker 2: I know you're taking a semester off of school because

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Speaker 2: it's all online. You want to just come with me

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Speaker 2: to New York see what happens. I've always wanted to

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Speaker 2: move to New York. But when I got here, I

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Speaker 2: had just enough money saved from scoop and ice cream.

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Speaker 2: That was my only source of income, so that was

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Speaker 2: running out fast. I didn't realize how expensive New York was. Right,

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Speaker 2: that was running out, So I started door dashing on

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Speaker 2: foot in the snow.

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Speaker 1: This sounds like your uncle's right, going walking. It's uphill

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Speaker 1: both ways. You're like, what you know?

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Speaker 2: Door dash before they head hubbabore. So I was on

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Speaker 2: fullot its front.

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Speaker 1: So okay, you're just like on foot, but like, I

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Speaker 1: guess there's a radius right uh now?

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Speaker 2: They would send you all over in Manhattan. It was ridiculous.

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Speaker 1: Would it take too long to not be worth it? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Everybody's food was cold. I wasn't making any money. You're

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Speaker 2: making money off of tips on that job. I was losing.

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Speaker 2: It was top.

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Speaker 1: It was stopped forty five minutes, Like I don't even

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Speaker 1: know if she's in a car.

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Speaker 2: Like, no, they could see me just moving. Felt bad

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Speaker 2: for all of them.

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Speaker 1: But you know, what do you like about just talk

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Speaker 1: on the mic? I mean it's it's your job, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and you just get up there and shoot the ship

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Speaker 1: and talk about things that you care about don't care about,

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Speaker 1: and you're just all day talking. Yeah, why why do

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Speaker 1: you like that?

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Speaker 2: Well, I mean teachers growing up, but just tell me

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Speaker 2: that I talk too much during class. And so this

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Speaker 2: is probably the best job ever for that. And the

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Speaker 2: best thing that comes without all of it is that

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Speaker 2: I'm doing it with my best friends since I was ten.

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Speaker 2: It's amazing, which is like super awesome. Like I just

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Speaker 2: remember being in college and like we'd FaceTime each other

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Speaker 2: and we're talking about how much we hate our major

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Speaker 2: or whatever, and we're like, dude, magine we just get

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Speaker 2: paid to party with each other. Wouldn't that be sick.

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Speaker 1: It's like something you come up with in the closet,

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Speaker 1: like yeah, yeah, one day.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like like a three A. I'm like, dude, we

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Speaker 2: should totally get paid to party. And we figured it

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Speaker 2: out how to.

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Speaker 1: Do that, which is fucking s I mean tooche for that.

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Speaker 1: I mean honestly, that that is, that's that's amazing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: honestly for me. Cool. These guys are my friends, and

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Speaker 1: that's huge. That's also cool as fuck that I'm able

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Speaker 1: to because work sucks. Yeah, right, like and you still

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Speaker 1: do work, right, We're still doing work.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But I've like never had a time where I'm like, damn,

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Speaker 2: I wish i was doing something else.

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Speaker 1: Right, exactly sick, So I want to I'm gonna I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna shift gears here, and you know, within your comfort zone.

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Speaker 1: You tell me what you think. But I was just

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Speaker 1: doing some tiktoking and instagramming. That sounded horrible that who's

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Speaker 1: no one says that ship?

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Speaker 2: How old are you then?

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Speaker 1: If you too.

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Speaker 2: Sound like my pops.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm on the Graham and I'm the Grammy when

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Speaker 1: your grandma It's like, Dad, you're clearly not because.

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Speaker 2: Are you dancing on TikTok? Is that what you're doing?

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Speaker 1: Honestly? I should be Yeah, why not? Don't get me started.

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Speaker 1: I mean I made like one tweet one time I

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Speaker 1: was like, I was annoyed. I'm like, god, I'm so

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Speaker 1: annoyed everyone dancy on TikTok and and someone just read

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Speaker 1: it so deeply that they were like, wow, you it

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Speaker 1: upsets you if people are living their life and having fun.

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Speaker 2: So these are the people that we are annoyed with.

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Speaker 2: It's just like, shut the fuck up. So you are

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Speaker 2: analyzing in the most crazy way.

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Speaker 1: The way that your boss and accent came out just then, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: was mobster like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's why I'm going Bill's Mafia because I've always

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Speaker 2: wanted to be in the mafia.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think you just just do it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well it's actually the mob we're Irish.

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Speaker 1: Oh shit, okay, yeah, yeah, i mean yeah. The Internet

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Speaker 1: is a bizarre place. I'm like, what's it like? I mean,

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Speaker 1: because we make content content, we you know, social media posts, podcasts,

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Speaker 1: podcast reviews, whatever. You know. Even if you you say

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm not going to look at that or whatever,

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Speaker 1: you end up seeing stuff, even if you're trying to

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Speaker 1: tunnel vision it. And so I'm just curious because it's

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Speaker 1: always a good, bad, and ugly. Right, what's your experience

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00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:17,160
Speaker 1: been like with just hearing the reviews of who you

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Speaker 1: are as a human.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's kind of crazy to put something out there,

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Speaker 2: and I'd say, like, I always want to put like good,

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Speaker 2: good content out all the time, but sometimes it's just

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Speaker 2: shit ass, And like what do you mean, Like like

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Speaker 2: sometimes you put something out and you're like, that's gold.

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Speaker 2: I'm stoked about that. It's always the stuff you work

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Speaker 2: really hard on and.

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Speaker 1: You're like proud of Isn't that funny how that work.

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Speaker 2: Sucks to people? Oh damn, maybe I just stink. But

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Speaker 2: it's just a bummer. But like a lot of people

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Speaker 2: are so opinionated on just about everything you do. It's

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Speaker 2: it's at one point I just you just have to

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Speaker 2: stop caring. Like feedback is good, but when it's like

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Speaker 2: so delusionally trying to just hurt you, I suppose.

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Speaker 1: It's a weird in between, because I don't think you

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00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:14,520
Speaker 1: should take the approach ever of just don't listen to

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Speaker 1: them at all, Yeah, and just do your thing. It's

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Speaker 1: like sometimes they're right.

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Speaker 2: They're right most of the time, and.

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Speaker 1: And you know when they're right because it feels different,

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Speaker 1: you're like out, I mean kind of right, dude.

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Speaker 2: When they hit me with like specifics that I have

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Speaker 2: in the back of my subconscious about my own self.

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Speaker 1: Yes, they take all that little insecurity, We're.

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Speaker 5: Like, fuck, I'm like, dude, I thought about that maybe

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00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:43,840
Speaker 5: one time, but like, how do they know?

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Speaker 2: Like they just are so spot on, it's crazy. They

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00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:48,919
Speaker 2: really know how to get you.

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Speaker 1: And they're like in the carpool line somewhere and yeah,

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00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:56,880
Speaker 1: like and they're like, I've done my work here, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I'm onto my day in my life.

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Speaker 2: It's so crazy to just be a fucking troll on

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00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:03,280
Speaker 2: the internet and then go pick up your kids yet

347
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:06,399
Speaker 2: fucking preschool, you piece of shit, No wonder you.

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Speaker 1: I just had that in my head and I was picturing,

349
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:12,440
Speaker 1: but you know, I actually picturing a like the stay

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00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:15,400
Speaker 1: home dad in that situation, yeah, where you like mad

351
00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:19,160
Speaker 1: that he's that guy right now, and he's like yeah, right.

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Speaker 2: And here's the thing. These older guys I saw. I

353
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,480
Speaker 2: think I saw a tweet or TikTok and someone said,

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Speaker 2: these older guys at least they have balls that you

355
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:31,200
Speaker 2: have their two kids in their profile picture, where they live,

356
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:32,280
Speaker 2: where they work.

357
00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:33,919
Speaker 1: All on their profile come find me.

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Speaker 2: And then my generation is hiding behind like uh like

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Speaker 2: user one, two, three, four, six, seven eight.

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Speaker 1: I cannot stand that.

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00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:40,960
Speaker 2: It's like.

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Speaker 1: I think as a just a formality, as just a

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00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:51,240
Speaker 1: basic principle, instagrams. If somebody follows you and their private

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00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,400
Speaker 1: you should automatically be able to see their profile.

365
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:57,479
Speaker 2: Yep, and give me them this number while you're at it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'd like to talk and like you your

367
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:04,399
Speaker 1: friend's number and your mom's number, just emergency contact stuff.

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00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:08,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've won that route before. One kid, he really

369
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,840
Speaker 2: fucking slipped up, called me probably like a big fatty

370
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:15,080
Speaker 2: or something. And when was this, uh like a year

371
00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:20,800
Speaker 2: ago online? Yeah, And basically he just left his profile

372
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,600
Speaker 2: just completely clear as day. You could see his mom,

373
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Speaker 2: his grandmother, His grandmother had an Instagram his mom, his grandmother,

374
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:32,480
Speaker 2: and his girlfriend blasted him, made a TikTok about him,

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Speaker 2: kind of went mega viral.

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Speaker 1: Oh.

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Speaker 2: We reached out to my work and asked for it

378
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,679
Speaker 2: to be removed. They said, you don't have to. But

379
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,520
Speaker 2: right I was like, I think you learned this lesson.

380
00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:45,879
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, so I'm gonna ship you her to a

381
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:48,000
Speaker 1: different place here. In a second, I was like doing

382
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:53,440
Speaker 1: some research on you today, like like a psychopath, and

383
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:59,479
Speaker 1: I saw a post that really made me think. I

384
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:02,960
Speaker 1: saw a TikTok that you posted about mental health and

385
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:03,640
Speaker 1: stuff like that.

386
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:06,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm batchit crazy well, that's not what I was

387
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,639
Speaker 2: gonna say. No, it's a terrible way to bring it out.

388
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:12,639
Speaker 1: No, no, And I mean for a moment, because I

389
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:14,240
Speaker 1: find you so funny on the internet.

390
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:15,240
Speaker 2: Thank you. That's huge.

391
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,159
Speaker 1: I was wondering if you were, if it was a

392
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,800
Speaker 1: bit or not. And that was that I realized, oh no,

393
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:23,520
Speaker 1: she's being serious for real. And then I changed my

394
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:26,800
Speaker 1: whole tune and started over again and watched it and

395
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:31,720
Speaker 1: listen to it. And it's not a fun thing to

396
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,160
Speaker 1: talk about. But I also feel like there is this

397
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,679
Speaker 1: you know, it kind of annoys me almost how much

398
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:43,960
Speaker 1: people talk about mental health. Yeah, in the terms mental

399
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,120
Speaker 1: health and that's.

400
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:47,840
Speaker 2: It though, Yeah, like like being so broad and saying

401
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,480
Speaker 2: we should we should all really care about our mental health.

402
00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:51,840
Speaker 1: It's like, what does that even mean.

403
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 2: The thing about posting that video is when I when

404
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,960
Speaker 2: I got into all this stuff, I called my mom

405
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:01,760
Speaker 2: and I said, you're not gonna like what I'm going

406
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:04,040
Speaker 2: to be posting from here on out, and you can

407
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:07,840
Speaker 2: either get with it or get lost. And at first

408
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:12,440
Speaker 2: she unfollowed me. Now, she's my biggest fan, she's my dog, she's.

409
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,240
Speaker 1: You express what kind of content that would be?

410
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,680
Speaker 2: Just like in the comedic root of things, like there

411
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:21,120
Speaker 2: was this one thing I posted which sparks the conversation

412
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:25,640
Speaker 2: where I put out a poll of my two friends

413
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,840
Speaker 2: and I said, which one makes you cream your jeans more?

414
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,760
Speaker 2: She didn't like that, so.

415
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:33,080
Speaker 1: She knew what cream Catholic household. She was like, I

416
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:34,440
Speaker 1: know where that is.

417
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:40,040
Speaker 2: You're talking about creaming jeans on your Instagram story. Mom

418
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:41,760
Speaker 2: God Like, oh no, not you.

419
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 1: You're like dog God, is it is bad when you

420
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:44,440
Speaker 1: say it?

421
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:46,320
Speaker 2: But I had called her and I'm like, yeah, you're

422
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:47,639
Speaker 2: not always gonna like what I have to say. And

423
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:50,400
Speaker 2: at first she wasn't with it, and then now she's

424
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:53,840
Speaker 2: she's right on my side. But I also talk to myself.

425
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:55,000
Speaker 2: I guess I'm crazy.

426
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 1: No, I do this. I do the same thing, and

427
00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:01,600
Speaker 1: I think people think I'm bullshitting Not I I've spent

428
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,000
Speaker 1: days in my house by myself. I mean, I'm this

429
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:09,200
Speaker 1: already sounds wild, but I mean I found myself single

430
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,399
Speaker 1: in my early thirties, and all of a sudden, I

431
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:14,399
Speaker 1: am in a house that I bought, and you know,

432
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:18,399
Speaker 1: people are busy doing shit. Yeah, and then COVID happened,

433
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:22,320
Speaker 1: and I'm kind of like, hey, I'm like, I'm my

434
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,880
Speaker 1: new best friend. Yeah, like someone's over and you're like yeah,

435
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:25,440
Speaker 1: like cut that.

436
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:28,800
Speaker 2: Shit out, Like, oh sorry, I was talking to myself.

437
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:33,119
Speaker 2: What did you say? But yeah, no, So I was

438
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:36,240
Speaker 2: talking to myself and I just kind of made a

439
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:37,800
Speaker 2: note like if I'm going to do this, I'm going

440
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,480
Speaker 2: to I'm in it, and I'm gonna just be.

441
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:45,480
Speaker 1: Like authentically just tell why do you want to tell

442
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:46,240
Speaker 1: people like that?

443
00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:49,880
Speaker 2: I think it's really like a really important conversation to have,

444
00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:54,639
Speaker 2: and not in the sense of mental health is really important, yeah,

445
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 2: but rather like just showing the the the bad parts

446
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:03,399
Speaker 2: of it, like people will talk about finding out they

447
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:07,800
Speaker 2: have mental health issues whatever, and just kind of show

448
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,959
Speaker 2: the good sides of it all but press and record

449
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:14,320
Speaker 2: while you cry. And I almost regret it, but I

450
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 2: almost don't either, because for whatever reason it helped a

451
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:22,280
Speaker 2: lot of people, I guess just talking through it. I

452
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:27,080
Speaker 2: last year I checked myself into the luney bin, which

453
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:29,560
Speaker 2: I shouldn't call it that, but that's how I CODs

454
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 2: what is it? It is? The mental health facility? Is

455
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:38,400
Speaker 2: what did you actually call it? I always call it,

456
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:43,120
Speaker 2: like so many definitely not the looney ben, even though

457
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:44,440
Speaker 2: like you're someone who like went there.

458
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,680
Speaker 1: They're like, that's offensive. Well I could call it whatever

459
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 1: I want.

460
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:50,440
Speaker 2: I went there, so I'm a strong believer and if

461
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:51,800
Speaker 2: you can claim it, you can say.

462
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 1: Right, Okay, it's like I've never been to that place yet.

463
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:58,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, so well there's always toime.

464
00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:01,960
Speaker 1: There was a moment in or just a culminating moment

465
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:05,760
Speaker 1: where you're like, ah, I want to what are you

466
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 1: thinking in your head?

467
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:10,400
Speaker 2: Well, what I have now realized after a year later

468
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:14,480
Speaker 2: and being medicated now is uh, I should have not

469
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:18,200
Speaker 2: went there and I should have went to rehab. Okay, yeah, No,

470
00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:20,320
Speaker 2: I had like I had like a drinking and like

471
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:23,600
Speaker 2: I was doing like a lot of blown allowing and stuff.

472
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:25,920
Speaker 1: Okay, so yeah, and it was kind of throwing your.

473
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 2: And it was just like obviously it sucks up your

474
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:28,680
Speaker 2: mental health.

475
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:29,480
Speaker 1: Uh huh.

476
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:34,359
Speaker 2: But like I had mental health issues, but it was

477
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:36,120
Speaker 2: the drinking in the partying and I was just being

478
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:40,760
Speaker 2: an idiot. And yeah, because for whatever reason, rehab seemed

479
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:46,120
Speaker 2: a lot more scarier than going to the pluminy bed.

480
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:50,920
Speaker 1: I mean, I'll say I've never said this before. There

481
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:54,640
Speaker 1: was a point. I mean I had a whole moment

482
00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:59,679
Speaker 1: probably probably two and a half three years ago. I

483
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:04,200
Speaker 1: had just it's been working so hard for years, head

484
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:08,880
Speaker 1: Down Tunnel Vision, you know, I had one successful podcast,

485
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:12,280
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I need to make I'm gonna make

486
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:17,440
Speaker 1: this work. This is what I'm gonna do. I'll give

487
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:21,000
Speaker 1: a shit, let's go. And so I busted my ass

488
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:24,920
Speaker 1: and I just kind of neglecting myself a little bit there.

489
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:28,480
Speaker 1: But there was a moment. It sounds funny now, it

490
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:32,479
Speaker 1: was definitely not funny at the time. And I think

491
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 1: it was a meeting about getting gone. We hadn't made

492
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:40,440
Speaker 1: it yet, and I was literally in the bathroom crying

493
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:46,359
Speaker 1: and I called a mental health facility, right I probably

494
00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 1: googled mental health facility. I'm sure it works. And I

495
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 1: called them and I was like, I'm going to check

496
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:59,160
Speaker 1: myself in somewhere. Not for some sort of substance abuse thing.

497
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:04,760
Speaker 1: I'm just like I'm just gonna go here and I'll

498
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:08,160
Speaker 1: pay for it myself. Right now. Today here's my I'm

499
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:08,800
Speaker 1: like ready to go.

500
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:09,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, like I need help.

501
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 1: But turns out they're like, okay, so what's going on.

502
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:14,800
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm just really anxious, and they're like,

503
00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:20,880
Speaker 1: is that it. I'm like, yeah, huh. They're like okay,

504
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,159
Speaker 1: and they're asking all this other shit and I'm like,

505
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:30,800
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm like, oh, I'm like what, I'm glad

506
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:33,119
Speaker 1: I did into it now. I mean, like, you know,

507
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:36,600
Speaker 1: maybe it probably would have been fine, but I'm like, yo,

508
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:40,639
Speaker 1: I'm a paying customer. Yeah I am, I'm paying full price,

509
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:45,040
Speaker 1: no insurance. Let's go cash here. Yeah, like run it.

510
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,400
Speaker 1: And I don't know why I thought it would work

511
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,399
Speaker 1: that way. I guess it doesn't yet. I mean in

512
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:51,720
Speaker 1: some places it does.

513
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:54,160
Speaker 2: Right, It's a fucked up system, Like, yeah, you really

514
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:56,520
Speaker 2: need help urgently, you have to go to the emergency

515
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,680
Speaker 2: room to get into a place because there isn't room

516
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:03,440
Speaker 2: and it's just crazy, like if you were to call,

517
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 2: you can't just be like, oh I can just walk in. Yeah,

518
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:09,879
Speaker 2: I go to the emergency room. You have to be

519
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 2: locked down, get the grippy stocks and crippy socks.

520
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 1: You're like, God, can't slive.

521
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:21,760
Speaker 2: Like the worst thing of it all was if you're

522
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:24,640
Speaker 2: taking too long taking a ship, a girl's poop by

523
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:26,760
Speaker 2: the way, if you take it too long taking a ship,

524
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:29,360
Speaker 2: have you guys heard about this, they walk in on you.

525
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:31,600
Speaker 2: And that's when I lost my mind.

526
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 1: I was like, you gotta be sure hitting me? Okay,

527
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:37,440
Speaker 1: how long it's too long?

528
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:42,040
Speaker 2: You know, I like to take my time, but like, yeah, okay,

529
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 2: well yeah, how long it's too long for you?

530
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:47,000
Speaker 1: Oh? I would they would think I was doing something

531
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,720
Speaker 1: bad in there every day? Yeah, They're like, what he

532
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,399
Speaker 1: needs to keep going to that same bathroom every hour?

533
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:54,440
Speaker 1: Keep an eye on that guy? And I'm like, no,

534
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:56,400
Speaker 1: I just I actually have to take a ship.

535
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:58,119
Speaker 2: This food sucks.

536
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, You're like, it's like, I don't know, but tun me.

537
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 2: He hurts, like I promise everything's cool.

538
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:06,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, that would be game over for me right there. Yeah.

539
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:08,680
Speaker 1: I lost. It's also why I don't ever want to

540
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:09,240
Speaker 1: go to prison.

541
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:10,600
Speaker 2: Oh my god. No.

542
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 1: I feel like, even if you committed a crime, hope

543
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:16,439
Speaker 1: with that, not hope with I'm a murder or some

544
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 1: heinous crime. If you're someone who's in jail for anything

545
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 1: and you have to just take ships in front of

546
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:28,560
Speaker 1: people and stuff, I'm like, man, I guess I maybe

547
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:32,400
Speaker 1: I would eventually adapt, but I'm not convinced. I don't.

548
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 1: I don't see it. I don't see how I can

549
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:36,320
Speaker 1: do that where I could just all of a sudden

550
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:39,280
Speaker 1: be cool with that, at the very least, I would

551
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:41,280
Speaker 1: I would get used to it and be a problem

552
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 1: for everybody else, and I would be in more. Yeah,

553
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:48,760
Speaker 1: give my ass beat. I'm like, this just sucks. Yeah,

554
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:51,160
Speaker 1: Like that's like when I think of prison, I'm like, man,

555
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,600
Speaker 1: taking a shit in prison would suck. First thing I

556
00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 1: think about.

557
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:57,840
Speaker 2: I just powered to people who have been to prison

558
00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 2: and have been rehabilitated. I don't even know if that works.

559
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 2: But if you like to go to prison, lose years

560
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:07,120
Speaker 2: of your life and come out and experience all that,

561
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 2: that's a whole other world. It's crazy.

562
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:14,080
Speaker 1: It's like a time glitch. Yeah, like, uh, that's kind

563
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:16,239
Speaker 1: of I mean, it has to fuck you up.

564
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 2: It's got a fuck up. I actually saw it. TikTok

565
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 2: was kind of funny. He goes, my boy just got

566
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 2: released from prison. I brought him to the club. He

567
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:28,600
Speaker 2: doesn't know how to actually stand there, like it's really scared.

568
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 1: Well, he's acting like most of my friends anyways, they're

569
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:36,040
Speaker 1: like like to the crib.

570
00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 2: You mean, I could take a ship for as long

571
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 2: as I wanted you.

572
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:43,120
Speaker 1: There's no time onments on the bathrooms here and say, yeah,

573
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 1: but you don't want to use the bathroom here man,

574
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 1: Like it's got on my part. Yeah, there's there's no

575
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:51,560
Speaker 1: door on this one. Yeah, you made this post, and

576
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:55,600
Speaker 1: I have to only think that you have so much

577
00:29:55,680 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 1: hindsight now, yeah, but you you probably felt like people

578
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:04,320
Speaker 1: should hear this right authentically, and and you kind of

579
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,880
Speaker 1: leaned into that, which which I think is really cool

580
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,720
Speaker 1: because that's not an easy thing to do or it's

581
00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:15,640
Speaker 1: not even it's definitely my natural inclination. And so you

582
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:20,480
Speaker 1: did that. And you know, I hate the whole just

583
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:24,320
Speaker 1: generalization of mental health, but I like to keep it

584
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 1: real and like, what have you learned from that point

585
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:29,760
Speaker 1: in time?

586
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:34,760
Speaker 2: Basically the whole reason I think I press recorded then

587
00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 2: pressed post is because that was like three months after

588
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:44,440
Speaker 2: I got out of uh no privacy shooting housing.

589
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 1: Right, that's sweet, that's if you Yeah, yeah it is.

590
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:53,640
Speaker 2: And that was like three months the day that I

591
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:55,760
Speaker 2: got out, and like I was like medicaid whatever, and

592
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:59,760
Speaker 2: everybody was commenting on my post saying you just seem

593
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,240
Speaker 2: so good now, like really proud of you, like everything

594
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:05,080
Speaker 2: seems great, like you are basically like people saying like

595
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:08,560
Speaker 2: you are fixed, and I just kind of want to

596
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 2: show like and they were saying in like a really

597
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 2: nice way.

598
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:12,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but you're kind of like, yeah, I'm not

599
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:15,320
Speaker 1: gonna post like a thousand of those. Yeah, like I

600
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 1: posted one, and I'm surprised I did that.

601
00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:20,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, because I'd much rather just deflected and

602
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 2: make a joke. That's that's my.

603
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:26,560
Speaker 3: Same, same, here's the way I get by and yeah, seriously,

604
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,520
Speaker 3: I mean it's it's a mechanism like, yeah, I'm fine

605
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:30,120
Speaker 3: for my life.

606
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:31,280
Speaker 1: I mean, podcast.

607
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 2: Just won't be me, man, No, but that is me.

608
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:36,680
Speaker 2: I mean if I didn't have, if you don't have

609
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:40,040
Speaker 2: the shitty things happen to you, then you just uh

610
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:42,240
Speaker 2: for me personally, if I didn't have shitty things happened

611
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:45,320
Speaker 2: to me, I'd be a loser. I'd have like I

612
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 2: would just be not funny at all.

613
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, like oh absolutely, it's like there's this happened that's

614
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 1: so bad, comically bad. It's like this is absurd now,

615
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 1: It's just it's absurd to.

616
00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 2: Like you ever find yourself yourself in times where you're

617
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:01,719
Speaker 2: like you can't even write this.

618
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, I like that's where I ultimately get it's

619
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:08,520
Speaker 1: like really hard. Right before that, I'm like this, I'm like,

620
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 1: this is this is it, this is how it ends.

621
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:13,840
Speaker 1: Here it is, and I'm like, what, Oh, it's worse.

622
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 1: I'm like, all right now, this is a movie. Now,

623
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 1: this is stand up comedy. This is crazy.

624
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:22,040
Speaker 2: Take do you take it? Running with it? How you

625
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:22,760
Speaker 2: make money off of?

626
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 4: Go?

627
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:28,560
Speaker 1: Make money off of this? The whole thing. Like, so

628
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:35,040
Speaker 1: this has been a I'm like, not typically the podcast

629
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:38,320
Speaker 1: guy that has shows like this means the first I've

630
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:41,160
Speaker 1: ever had like this. I've talked to plenty of people

631
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:44,920
Speaker 1: and done interviews, but I'm more of an investigative journalist

632
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,360
Speaker 1: kind of. I mean not even like literally, not even

633
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 1: like legitimately just in a in my podcast experience, I'm

634
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:59,600
Speaker 1: used to interviewing people, gathering tape and making a thing

635
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 1: and then saying here you go.

636
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:04,880
Speaker 2: And that is very cool because it is so it's

637
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:06,920
Speaker 2: so hard to do that, Like it is.

638
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 1: They're both hard. Though. I looked at what, like what

639
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 1: you do we're doing right now is like I don't

640
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:15,960
Speaker 1: know if I can do that, And honestly I think

641
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:18,440
Speaker 1: that for me, even like right now in this moment,

642
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:21,840
Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, what I'm doing differently consciously is just

643
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:26,320
Speaker 1: making it a conversation and just saying more than I

644
00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:27,480
Speaker 1: would only say.

645
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:30,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, I think I think people have said it.

646
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:33,320
Speaker 2: I don't want to toot my own horn, I guess,

647
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 2: but to people feel comfortable around me, man, they spill

648
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:40,600
Speaker 2: the beans, right, and you have that for the industry.

649
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 1: You're Yeah, it's like so if you ever need anybody,

650
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 1: now I'm talking.

651
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:46,480
Speaker 2: Like you and like you can tell me your secrets.

652
00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 1: No one's watching it. Yeah, it's like sort of like

653
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 1: a couple of that ship. Now do you regret posting

654
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 1: all the time? Really?

655
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 2: Wait, I'm sorry, I thought you just do you regret?

656
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:58,760
Speaker 1: Have you ever regret? Just a question mark regrets?

657
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 2: I do digress, and I do regret.

658
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:02,720
Speaker 1: Okay, we all regret shit.

659
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 2: No regretting posting. I don't know. Sometimes I'll post it

660
00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:09,279
Speaker 2: and I'm like, that was fucking not funny. My whole

661
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:11,200
Speaker 2: thing is like I want to be funny at all.

662
00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:14,799
Speaker 1: What parameter are you pasting? Are basing those off of

663
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:20,719
Speaker 1: my own personal like just an engagement level that you

664
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:25,040
Speaker 1: can see that feels like that worked? Yeah kind of?

665
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:30,240
Speaker 2: Well no, not even that, Like I don't even care

666
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:36,279
Speaker 2: how well anything does, like like likes or whatever. It's

667
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 2: more of if I watch it back and I still

668
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:39,920
Speaker 2: think it's funny. I'm like, okay that I stand by

669
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:42,319
Speaker 2: that that's funny. And then everyone in the comments can

670
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:45,160
Speaker 2: be like, oh, that this is hilarious, and you're all

671
00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:46,960
Speaker 2: idiots because that's really bad and I don't know why

672
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 2: I posted it, and it's just yeah, it's a whole

673
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:50,640
Speaker 2: it's a whole run around.

674
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:53,240
Speaker 1: But that's what I respect about what you do actually,

675
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 1: And like, what scares me about what I'm doing right

676
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:56,799
Speaker 1: now is that, you know, I'm like, I'm kind of

677
00:34:57,120 --> 00:35:00,360
Speaker 1: a little I mean, it's probably fine, but I'm a

678
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:03,880
Speaker 1: little nervous about Oh, like me in this one moment

679
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:07,719
Speaker 1: in time. In two days from now, I'll be looking back,

680
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 1: I'm like, Wow, what was I thinking? What was I saying? Yeah,

681
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:14,600
Speaker 1: So I think people don't really get that. I mean,

682
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 1: there's some people who just out there are just going

683
00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:19,960
Speaker 1: and they're just spewing the same shit every day and

684
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 1: wherever they.

685
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:23,400
Speaker 2: Are, and they're out of their goddamn minds and they're insane.

686
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:26,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, but people just say stuff and they're like, Okay,

687
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:33,239
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's usually not that deep. Yeah, it

688
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:36,319
Speaker 1: isn't anywhere else in life. If there's a pattern of

689
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:40,720
Speaker 1: it sure, but I don't know. It's like people could

690
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:44,759
Speaker 1: I don't know, just should look at it differently than

691
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 1: it is.

692
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just sometimes you're your own worst enemy.

693
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,840
Speaker 1: So do you regret posting that video or or has

694
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 1: there been anything that was helpful to you about that.

695
00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 2: I don't regret it, just because there were a bunch

696
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:03,960
Speaker 2: of people reached out and like the people who followed

697
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,600
Speaker 2: me were like all friends, so like it felt like

698
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:09,759
Speaker 2: two friends like trying to help each other out through

699
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 2: bad times, and people just saying like, really, glad you

700
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:15,759
Speaker 2: posted this, because you know you made it look like

701
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:21,440
Speaker 2: everything was great and it's it's just not. And do

702
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 2: I want to look like a big crybaby online? Not

703
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:23,680
Speaker 2: so much?

704
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, that That's why I'm asking, because not that

705
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 1: I thought that you looked that way at all. I'm

706
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:31,719
Speaker 1: just you thought I looked like a big crime. I'm like,

707
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:33,440
Speaker 1: she's a little bit, she's a little cry.

708
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:36,040
Speaker 2: Baby, but bawling your eyes out to the point where

709
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:36,839
Speaker 2: I thought was a bit.

710
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,080
Speaker 1: That's that's a level of vulnerability that I don't even

711
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:40,840
Speaker 1: know if I could do.

712
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:44,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's weird because like I'll do the funny stuff,

713
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:48,000
Speaker 2: but then sometimes I'll do like the here's my life stuff,

714
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:52,759
Speaker 2: and that's when I'm in a creative rout with yeah,

715
00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:55,160
Speaker 2: the funny stuff, which I'm currently in.

716
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:57,719
Speaker 1: I'm just saying it happens. Though it's like it's tough, man,

717
00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:00,440
Speaker 1: It's not always. It was like a weird like just

718
00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 1: thing with it all, and yeah, you can tell. I

719
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:04,719
Speaker 1: can feel it. It's a weird.

720
00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:04,920
Speaker 2: Man.

721
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 1: I don't even know if this is probably just my

722
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:10,040
Speaker 1: own brain making this up, but there's this up and

723
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:13,280
Speaker 1: down and I can tell when I'm on the surge

724
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:16,920
Speaker 1: of it and when I'm back down again. Sometimes when

725
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:19,560
Speaker 1: I'm going up on it, I'm like, I feel like

726
00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:23,960
Speaker 1: I'm hitting so hard that I can even just like

727
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:26,840
Speaker 1: deja vu, like call what's about to happen? Or that

728
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:29,840
Speaker 1: I'm just a lost puppy again, and I'm like, whoa,

729
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:30,640
Speaker 1: what's going on?

730
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:34,200
Speaker 2: Those creative juice is are flowing, But when they don't,

731
00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:38,560
Speaker 2: it's I mean, it feels like it's never coming back,

732
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:39,040
Speaker 2: you know.

733
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:41,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, it feels like yeah, so that okay, that's actually

734
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:45,400
Speaker 1: thank you for saying that, because I would have not

735
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:47,480
Speaker 1: said it unless you said it. But that's how I.

736
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 3: Used to feel, and it's like debilitating I've learned that

737
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:56,400
Speaker 3: it's just not true, just factually for me, is untrue

738
00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:58,279
Speaker 3: that no matter what, it.

739
00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:01,160
Speaker 1: Always comes back, it always comes back. And like I

740
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:04,799
Speaker 1: tell myself that it doesn't always fix it, and I'm

741
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:09,279
Speaker 1: like that guy, we're here again. Yeah, you know, these

742
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:14,319
Speaker 1: ones suck, but I'm like, it always comes around around,

743
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,439
Speaker 1: does and it always has.

744
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 2: Have you ever found yourself in a creative rut and

745
00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:24,960
Speaker 2: done something to get yourself going again? Or is it

746
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:27,160
Speaker 2: because I feel it? Yeah?

747
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 1: I mean totally yeah. I think that's always kind of

748
00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 1: changed and evolved a little bit. For me, I think

749
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 1: more so these days. I kind of learned it over time.

750
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:41,919
Speaker 1: Is people like these guys just you know, if I'm

751
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:48,400
Speaker 1: all burnt out and confused, you know, odds are that

752
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:52,000
Speaker 1: not everyone around you in that moment is I'm just

753
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:55,560
Speaker 1: trying to offload anything on anybody. But I think people

754
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:59,440
Speaker 1: it's not contagious, right, yeah, And it might be reversed

755
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 1: in a month, a year or whatever. And I think that,

756
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:09,719
Speaker 1: you know, I collectively feeling the excitement about something that

757
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:15,000
Speaker 1: reminds me that damn And for me, it's if it's

758
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 1: not that, then it just feels like a whole worthless, selfish,

759
00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:22,920
Speaker 1: selfish venture, and you know, the internet would say otherwise

760
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,359
Speaker 1: that I would just you know, my head's like I

761
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:30,160
Speaker 1: just want to do this because but like I'm uncomfortable. Yeah,

762
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:32,399
Speaker 1: but and I just have just gotten used to it,

763
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:35,400
Speaker 1: and I'm like, fuck it, Yeah, what else am I

764
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:35,799
Speaker 1: going to do?

765
00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:36,600
Speaker 2: What else you gonna do?

766
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 1: I think it's okay though. I've learned so much doing that,

767
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:43,319
Speaker 1: and I don't regret it at all, Like it's been

768
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:46,040
Speaker 1: more good than bad. So you learn in it about yourself, though,

769
00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:47,440
Speaker 1: Like what have you learned about yourself?

770
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:51,040
Speaker 2: I guess I guess I'm I've noticed within the last

771
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:53,759
Speaker 2: year that I'm like hyper self aware, which is like

772
00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:58,480
Speaker 2: a good thing and a bad thing. I tried therapy

773
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:01,080
Speaker 2: and it was like this young young I think she

774
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:03,759
Speaker 2: was like younger than me, like this young girl right

775
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 2: out of college. And I thought it would be great

776
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:08,960
Speaker 2: because she'd like understand like the online stuff maybe but whatever.

777
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:13,120
Speaker 2: And I'm talking to her and she's like, wow, you

778
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:16,320
Speaker 2: are just so self aware. And I'm like, yeah, help,

779
00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:19,560
Speaker 2: like give me tools something. She's like, I don't know,

780
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:20,960
Speaker 2: You're just like really self aware.

781
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:23,160
Speaker 1: Now you said that too, because that's how I felt.

782
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:25,279
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I don't want to go through six

783
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:27,800
Speaker 1: months of this for you to get who I am. Yeah,

784
00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:30,719
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I'm aware of all these things mostly. Yeah,

785
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 1: there's something that I could use some insight on. I'm

786
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:35,359
Speaker 1: just looking for a little help here, Yeah, and give

787
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:37,520
Speaker 1: me a little boost heer, Yeah, just say I'm doing

788
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:38,040
Speaker 1: a good job.

789
00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:41,359
Speaker 2: Yeah. She's like, yeah, I think that's really. I was like,

790
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:44,160
Speaker 2: just fucking listen, if you're not going to be helpful.

791
00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:46,319
Speaker 1: Hey, like you're doing really good and you're like that

792
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:46,919
Speaker 1: doesn't help.

793
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:51,240
Speaker 2: No, shit, I wonder why I skipped the last two weeks.

794
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:54,600
Speaker 2: That's when I wasn't doing that. Yeah, but yeah, no,

795
00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:59,120
Speaker 2: it's now I think I just know, Like I got

796
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,919
Speaker 2: diagnosed with bipolar, so it's like, and I still don't

797
00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 2: know if I agree with that diagnosis.

798
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:09,439
Speaker 1: Why is that though, just as you felt, bipolar doesn't

799
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:13,000
Speaker 1: mean you're I mean, I'm not. I'm just saying I used.

800
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:15,480
Speaker 1: I thought at one point in my life in my

801
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 1: early twenties, ILD was like I was convinced I had bipolar, Yeah,

802
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:24,160
Speaker 1: disorder one of them, and I'm not really sure and shit,

803
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 1: maybe I do, Yeah, but I wouldn't it doesn't feel

804
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:29,960
Speaker 1: that way to me anymore though, Like that.

805
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 2: You're you're desperate for an answer and then you get

806
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 2: the answer and you don't like it.

807
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:35,879
Speaker 1: Yeah. But also yeah, and I think that there's such

808
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:38,080
Speaker 1: a scale to it all. It's just a name we

809
00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:43,839
Speaker 1: assigned to. I mean, it's not like it's a bug bite, yeah,

810
00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 1: or like COVID.

811
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:49,040
Speaker 2: Yeah. And it's just funny that you said that you

812
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:51,200
Speaker 2: thought at one time that you could have been bipolar.

813
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:53,960
Speaker 2: But also with the conversation we just had about the

814
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:56,880
Speaker 2: creative highs and lows, I always wonder.

815
00:41:56,719 --> 00:41:58,360
Speaker 1: If that if.

816
00:41:57,680 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 2: That ties into it all, because like when things are good,

817
00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:04,200
Speaker 2: like my brain's going and I'm moving, I'm grooving, yeah,

818
00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:06,359
Speaker 2: and then when things are bad, it's like I'm not

819
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:08,360
Speaker 2: creative and that I harp.

820
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:11,239
Speaker 1: On all that. I mean, I think that. I mean,

821
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:14,560
Speaker 1: I really don't know, to be honest, but I've learned

822
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:18,319
Speaker 1: how I've learned how to get myself out of the rut.

823
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 1: Sometimes sometimes I can't. And there's times where I just

824
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:27,640
Speaker 1: doesn't matter if I can get myself out of the

825
00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:30,320
Speaker 1: rut or not. Yeah, Hey, guess what you gotta do

826
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:33,480
Speaker 1: this today? Yeah, and tomorrow and the next day. And

827
00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:36,279
Speaker 1: you're like, oh shit, yeah, and so I kind of

828
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 1: I think I learned a lot through that too of

829
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:44,000
Speaker 1: just hey, sometimes it just sucks, and just accepting that

830
00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:46,239
Speaker 1: for what it is. Yeah, if you can, just knowing

831
00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:47,200
Speaker 1: that it's not going to be forever.

832
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:48,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, and just know it's not going to be forever.

833
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:51,000
Speaker 2: It's like we could just we gotta ruf through this.

834
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:53,960
Speaker 2: It's gonna it's gonna get better, because it always does.

835
00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:55,800
Speaker 2: It's it always does.

836
00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:59,239
Speaker 1: That's what I was convinced that every time I felt like,

837
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:02,640
Speaker 1: this is it, this is this is it, this is

838
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:05,080
Speaker 1: the worst it's ever been, and it's not getting better

839
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:10,399
Speaker 1: this time. And I'm almost I feel stupid, almost how

840
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:13,719
Speaker 1: wrong I was. I know now it might be a

841
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:18,399
Speaker 1: longer stretch. Yeah that happens. Yeah, but it's it's I mean,

842
00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:22,600
Speaker 1: for me so far, it's it's proved my own self wrong.

843
00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 2: Which is the only time you want to be.

844
00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:27,759
Speaker 1: Wrong, right, exactly like you, I'll take that one.

845
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:29,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, yeah, no, you know that. Chuck that

846
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:30,200
Speaker 2: up to me.

847
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:32,040
Speaker 1: Yeah.

848
00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:35,840
Speaker 2: It's funny to compare even when you were like uh younger,

849
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:38,319
Speaker 2: when you think it's the end of the world, you

850
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:41,280
Speaker 2: get in trouble. It's like, uh, you get caught drinking

851
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:44,040
Speaker 2: in high school and you're like, I'm.

852
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:47,320
Speaker 5: Never gonna get over this, Like everything's awful. My parents

853
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:49,239
Speaker 5: hate me, They're never they're never going to forgive me.

854
00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:53,280
Speaker 5: I do that in small doses as an adult about

855
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:59,400
Speaker 5: like like silly stuff like I don't know, like when

856
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:01,560
Speaker 5: what I've first wanted to get this job, they wouldn't

857
00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:01,880
Speaker 5: take me.

858
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I don't know what the hell else

859
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do. And like you think it's the end

860
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:06,279
Speaker 2: of the.

861
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:08,960
Speaker 1: World, but it's not, okay, you mean like defeated.

862
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:12,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like what Yeah, Yeah, there's times in your

863
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 2: life where you think it's the end of the world

864
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:15,279
Speaker 2: and it's just not.

865
00:44:15,440 --> 00:44:18,359
Speaker 1: I don't know if that Yeah, no, it's uh yeah,

866
00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:21,719
Speaker 1: that's actually a good point too, because and also I

867
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:24,440
Speaker 1: think it's kind of I mean, at least in society

868
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:28,160
Speaker 1: that I grew up in in my generation and probably

869
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 1: for the day, yeah something my generation. It's like, I mean,

870
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 1: probably everyone who's listening to this fucking podcast we were

871
00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:37,960
Speaker 1: on space. Yeah, we usuld use MySpace also, like, don't

872
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:39,719
Speaker 1: act like you don't want MySpace back.

873
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:41,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, that would be pretty sick Like.

874
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:45,160
Speaker 1: You mean, like some retro fitted new MySpace wouldn't be

875
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:49,200
Speaker 1: it as cool as TikTok? Sure about that? Sure you

876
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:50,200
Speaker 1: sure about that?

877
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:52,600
Speaker 2: That's why I love that show.

878
00:44:52,719 --> 00:44:56,720
Speaker 1: Dude. That guy is I mean, he rocks, He's He's awesome.

879
00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that that show is just being made

880
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:02,120
Speaker 1: at all. Yeah, like, dude, that's a win for society.

881
00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:04,719
Speaker 2: I know, sketch comedy is really.

882
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:06,880
Speaker 1: We need that stuff. No, I mean I used to

883
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:10,319
Speaker 1: love the improv stuff, like I mean in just even

884
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:15,040
Speaker 1: middle school and high school drama class, you know, because

885
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:20,200
Speaker 1: you mean because the drama like club and in my

886
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:21,840
Speaker 1: school was.

887
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:24,680
Speaker 2: Weird weirdos, and I really wish I could look.

888
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:27,480
Speaker 1: At it wasn't any of that cool ship. It was weird.

889
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:29,920
Speaker 2: I wish I could have looked past it because I

890
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:33,400
Speaker 2: would have been a star. But I just was too cool.

891
00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:34,680
Speaker 2: It was too cool.

892
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:37,240
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not a loser.

893
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:39,720
Speaker 2: Yeah you should Macbeth, Yeah.

894
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:43,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like okay, like yeah, like that's why I

895
00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 1: learned it wasn't for me is that we did improvit

896
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:49,920
Speaker 1: most of the day class. That was like laughing and

897
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:53,240
Speaker 1: then they're like, oh, who's gonna be this this playoffs

898
00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:56,480
Speaker 1: and one's I was the only one who thought it

899
00:45:56,520 --> 00:46:00,880
Speaker 1: was stupid. Really, I was like, oh, maybe I do.

900
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:05,520
Speaker 1: I can't be like this is lame, and I feel

901
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:06,279
Speaker 1: like it is. OK.

902
00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:11,279
Speaker 2: I actually have a really funny story. I really big

903
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:14,239
Speaker 2: into theater acting whatever. I really wanted to be a star.

904
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:15,239
Speaker 2: I wanted to be Linday Lohan.

905
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:16,759
Speaker 1: So abad when I was your rockstar.

906
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:23,879
Speaker 2: Really did rock star? Two eggs. But just real quick,

907
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 2: I tell this story all the time. But when I

908
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:29,840
Speaker 2: was younger, my mom signed me up for an acting camp, okay,

909
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:31,239
Speaker 2: and it was right down the street her maid.

910
00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:32,480
Speaker 1: Yeah.

911
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:36,879
Speaker 2: Yeah. And I went to the camp and uh, it

912
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:38,880
Speaker 2: was like in this little cabin place whatever. But it

913
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:42,080
Speaker 2: was like during the week whatever. I loved it. I

914
00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:45,520
Speaker 2: was a shining star. I got the lead of whatever

915
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:48,520
Speaker 2: play it was, and they invited the parents to come

916
00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:51,440
Speaker 2: see the dress rehearsal before the big show. So my

917
00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:55,560
Speaker 2: mom comes and we put on the play and at

918
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:58,680
Speaker 2: the end, I'm like, Mom, fucking killed it, right, you

919
00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:01,000
Speaker 2: should fucking get me an age because I'm going to

920
00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:03,520
Speaker 2: be the big thing. We get in the car. She

921
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:06,080
Speaker 2: doesn't say anything, which I'm like, all right, you're a.

922
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:11,120
Speaker 1: Bitch said that. She said, all right, bitch, and.

923
00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:15,279
Speaker 2: She's my mom's my boy. I would never say that.

924
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:15,879
Speaker 1: I was so.

925
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:19,799
Speaker 6: Afraid that don't say that to your No, don't ever

926
00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:22,800
Speaker 6: say But we get in the car and I'm like,

927
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:27,080
Speaker 6: all right, yeah, so what do you think and she goes, yeah,

928
00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:29,480
Speaker 6: so that's going to be your last day at the camp.

929
00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:31,960
Speaker 2: And I was like, what do you mean? The show's

930
00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:36,160
Speaker 2: literally tomorrow. I'm the star. And as it turns out,

931
00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:41,440
Speaker 2: it was a camp for special needs kids. So it

932
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:44,760
Speaker 2: wasn't very I promise you.

933
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:48,520
Speaker 1: Because it would be more. It wasn't true. I guess

934
00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:52,839
Speaker 1: I lived it, so I can say, so you're still

935
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:57,640
Speaker 1: a star. But tell my mom, yeah, I guess the

936
00:47:57,760 --> 00:48:01,520
Speaker 1: you know, the pool you're in does matter. Yeah, it's

937
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:04,719
Speaker 1: not scale of what you mean by that, but yeah,

938
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:08,399
Speaker 1: do you have fun? Okay? Then did they have fun?

939
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:12,040
Speaker 2: I basically should have been running around yelling one of us,

940
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:12,799
Speaker 2: one of us?

941
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:15,600
Speaker 1: Were you? Just like were you pissed?

942
00:48:15,719 --> 00:48:18,120
Speaker 2: I was shooting the ship. These kids were my voice.

943
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:19,600
Speaker 2: This was like my little secret thing.

944
00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:22,040
Speaker 1: There was not any party that was like, is this

945
00:48:22,320 --> 00:48:23,560
Speaker 1: like one of those kids?

946
00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:25,720
Speaker 2: I was like, these guys suck acting.

947
00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:28,760
Speaker 1: You're like, I'm actually, I might be a good actor.

948
00:48:29,719 --> 00:48:32,759
Speaker 2: I looked around. I'm like, I don't think acting is

949
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:35,560
Speaker 2: for them, But I mean, if I'm gonna shine, I'm gonna.

950
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:42,520
Speaker 1: Shine any listener who found the mental health and I

951
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:43,839
Speaker 1: hate that term.

952
00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:46,360
Speaker 2: No, it's all good, I mean what I know.

953
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:50,520
Speaker 1: No, But like I think that was probably more helpful

954
00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:52,360
Speaker 1: than it was. I mean, not that it wasn't a

955
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 1: thing for you to deal with now that you did that,

956
00:48:54,480 --> 00:49:00,840
Speaker 1: but I think that it's it's bold and there's probably

957
00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 1: more people in my opinion that saw that that are

958
00:49:05,239 --> 00:49:08,719
Speaker 1: like thank you, because I'm too scared to say that

959
00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:11,520
Speaker 1: in my life and I don't even have your life

960
00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:14,799
Speaker 1: where you talk all the time. Yeah, and that to

961
00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:17,120
Speaker 1: me was what was so badass about it.

962
00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:18,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of people are just like quietly going

963
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:20,600
Speaker 2: through it, and it's like, uh, if I could be

964
00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:22,640
Speaker 2: the voice for some people, that's that's pretty cool. But

965
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:24,799
Speaker 2: I also don't. I don't really see it that way.

966
00:49:24,840 --> 00:49:26,960
Speaker 1: But it's not like that. I just been like, you know,

967
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:29,840
Speaker 1: I mean even you even you.

968
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:31,680
Speaker 2: Sharing what whether you keep it or not, but like

969
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:33,759
Speaker 2: you sharing how you felt. It's yeah, it's good to

970
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:34,880
Speaker 2: have like an open dialogue.

971
00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:38,120
Speaker 1: About the Yeah, and curious. I'm almost like curious what

972
00:49:38,160 --> 00:49:41,840
Speaker 1: other people think, you know, and like I was genuinely curious,

973
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:45,560
Speaker 1: like how did you feel? Like like what were you thinking?

974
00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:48,920
Speaker 1: Like is that how I think? Am I? Is I

975
00:49:48,960 --> 00:49:51,480
Speaker 1: different than that? Or is it I don't know? Or

976
00:49:51,560 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 1: just what? Because it is all different. I mean everyone's thinking.

977
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:56,560
Speaker 1: We have different brains out here.

978
00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:59,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, I mean life's about like human connection. If

979
00:49:59,239 --> 00:50:01,400
Speaker 2: you the more you talk to people, the more you

980
00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:05,560
Speaker 2: understand how they feel, which could help you understand how

981
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:07,680
Speaker 2: you feel. I guess I don't know. It sounded like

982
00:50:07,719 --> 00:50:08,719
Speaker 2: I'm smoking weed.

983
00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:11,640
Speaker 1: Are you sure it's just ten percent? Yeah?

984
00:50:11,719 --> 00:50:16,040
Speaker 2: Brother, just ten Those things will get you just ten

985
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:22,359
Speaker 2: and only two dollars like actually though, yeah, Like dude,

986
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:26,480
Speaker 2: it's a college like eight quarters like twenty one plus's

987
00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:32,400
Speaker 2: dream two dollars, two dollars, four dollars. I don't know

988
00:50:32,520 --> 00:50:36,200
Speaker 2: between two and four. Well, ask me any other question

989
00:50:36,280 --> 00:50:37,879
Speaker 2: about it. I don't really like either it's.

990
00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:42,560
Speaker 1: This or double that. You're like, whoa, you can get two?

991
00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:45,360
Speaker 1: You know I have only I mean I still have

992
00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:49,520
Speaker 1: a little bit left here. And yeah, it feels like

993
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:53,120
Speaker 1: more than ten percent in a good way.

994
00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:55,279
Speaker 2: That's your bang for your book is.

995
00:50:55,239 --> 00:50:57,799
Speaker 1: That it's that malt liquor vibe. I mean it's that

996
00:50:57,840 --> 00:51:02,239
Speaker 1: gas station and now yeah it's that gas dude. Yeah,

997
00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:07,279
Speaker 1: it's that Friday night like hey man, like let's go

998
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:11,279
Speaker 1: to the gas station and get those things. And it's these.

999
00:51:11,320 --> 00:51:12,120
Speaker 2: It's those Thanks.

1000
00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:15,239
Speaker 1: I will say honestly, I've I've actually enjoyed the taste

1001
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:17,120
Speaker 1: the whole time. Maybe I have a.

1002
00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:18,440
Speaker 2: Say it one more time right there?

1003
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:25,120
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, uh this is pirate water and they're actually

1004
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:28,080
Speaker 1: not bad. I kind of like them. I mean I'm

1005
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:29,880
Speaker 1: not going to drink them every day because that'd be crazy,

1006
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:32,160
Speaker 1: just you know, every other.

1007
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:35,680
Speaker 2: Day when you want to let lose manh.

1008
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:36,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, she's pretty good and you but I hope

1009
00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:39,719
Speaker 1: you you get some sho out of that because you

1010
00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:42,640
Speaker 1: have to go get it. Yeah. Yeah. Every time you

1011
00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:44,440
Speaker 1: said you get I get a smile. I get a smile,

1012
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:48,640
Speaker 1: get a penny. Yeah, but also thank you for this.

1013
00:51:48,640 --> 00:51:50,319
Speaker 1: This has been fun and you know.

1014
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:51,080
Speaker 2: Thanks for having me.

1015
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:52,960
Speaker 1: This is we know each other like that, but I

1016
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:56,840
Speaker 1: mean now we do also, yeah, I appreciate this, like

1017
00:51:57,800 --> 00:51:59,800
Speaker 1: the fuck it vibe of like yeah, I'll go and

1018
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:02,359
Speaker 1: I'll like cool. I think that that told me all

1019
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 1: that I needed to know and like all you know, yeah,

1020
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:10,720
Speaker 1: like this is an also a huge fan, like yeah,

1021
00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:15,160
Speaker 1: so cheers. Yeah, Like we're basically like like we're friends

1022
00:52:16,120 --> 00:52:19,879
Speaker 1: back ten years. Yeah, let's go to summer camp. Yeah.

1023
00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:21,680
Speaker 2: Well yeah, let's see another one.

1024
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:23,560
Speaker 1: Okay. Is that a bad way to end it? Probably?

1025
00:52:23,760 --> 00:52:26,680
Speaker 2: I think that's I think that's a good end.

1026
00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:26,920
Speaker 1: Yah.

1027
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:31,839
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah.

1028
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:35,160
Speaker 4: Talking to Death is a production of tenderfoot TV and

1029
00:52:35,239 --> 00:52:40,040
Speaker 4: iHeart Podcasts, created and hosted by Payne Lindsay. For Tenderfoot TV,

1030
00:52:40,320 --> 00:52:44,520
Speaker 4: executive producers are Payne Lindsay and Donald Albright. Co executive

1031
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:48,879
Speaker 4: producer is Mike Rooney. For iHeart Podcasts, executive producers are

1032
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:52,720
Speaker 4: Matt Frederick and Alex Williams. With original music by Makeup

1033
00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:56,880
Speaker 4: and Vanity Set. Additional production by Mike Rooney, Dylan Harrington,

1034
00:52:57,120 --> 00:53:01,680
Speaker 4: Sean Nurney, Dayton Cole, and Gustav Wild for Cohedo. Production

1035
00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:06,239
Speaker 4: support by Tracy Kaplan, Maradavis, and Trevor Young. Mixing and

1036
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:10,120
Speaker 4: mastering by Cooper Skinner and Dayton Cole. Our cover art

1037
00:53:10,239 --> 00:53:14,080
Speaker 4: was created by Rob Sheridan. Check out our website Talking

1038
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:19,640
Speaker 4: to Death podcast dot com.

1039
00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:21,959
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. To this episode of Talking to Death.

1040
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:25,800
Speaker 1: This series is released weekly absolutely free, but if you

1041
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:29,320
Speaker 1: want ad free listening and exclusive bonuses, you can subscribe

1042
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:33,560
Speaker 1: to tenderfoot Plus on Apple Podcasts or go to tenderfootplus

1043
00:53:33,719 --> 00:53:37,520
Speaker 1: dot com