1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,280 Speaker 1: I kissed another man when I was drunk. Should I 2 00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:04,120 Speaker 1: tell my boyfriends? Probably? 3 00:00:04,519 --> 00:00:07,600 Speaker 2: No, dog kiss more if you really like him. 4 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:09,640 Speaker 3: Prior contrastdikes. 5 00:00:10,119 --> 00:00:13,360 Speaker 1: This comes from throw our Away Lana del Craye, who 6 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:16,400 Speaker 1: says funny this past Friday, my friend through a huge 7 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,279 Speaker 1: party for her twenty sixth birthday. It wasn't a particularly 8 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,760 Speaker 1: significant birthday, but her father always indulges in all her 9 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 1: requests and her parties are always one of the highlights 10 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:26,920 Speaker 1: of the year. 11 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:29,000 Speaker 3: Ah the place to be seen this year. 12 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:32,080 Speaker 1: She was inspired after watching The Fall of the House 13 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:35,120 Speaker 1: of Usher on Netflix and wanted to throw up party 14 00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:38,280 Speaker 1: in an abandoned building, and her father made it happen. 15 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:45,000 Speaker 2: Bro party squatters, Daddy's got some money. These are rich people. 16 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:45,959 Speaker 3: That's crazy. 17 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:48,360 Speaker 1: I wasn't too involved with the planning this year because 18 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:50,680 Speaker 1: work kept me busy, So when I first heard the idea, 19 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 1: I was skeptical, but she pulled it off spectacularly. A 20 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:57,240 Speaker 1: little backstory on my boyfriend and I. We met at 21 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 1: UNI when I was eighteen and had been close friends. 22 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:03,680 Speaker 1: Slightly lost contact when he graduated and I got engaged, 23 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:07,760 Speaker 1: but my fiance passed away when I was twenty two. 24 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,039 Speaker 3: Oh that is heartbreak, Oh my god. 25 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:12,320 Speaker 1: And he was great support to me during this time. 26 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:15,479 Speaker 1: After that, and since he's moved to a city four 27 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:19,560 Speaker 1: hours away, we'd only exchange the occasional text well until 28 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:22,319 Speaker 1: February of this year, when we both got slightly pissed, 29 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:25,840 Speaker 1: which I think means like wasted in the UK shlang. Yep, 30 00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:29,920 Speaker 1: we got slightly wasted at another party lept together. 31 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:33,880 Speaker 2: So that sealed the deal of boyfriend girlfriend. 32 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,280 Speaker 1: They threw a little spice on that sleep to make 33 00:01:36,319 --> 00:01:37,840 Speaker 1: some spicy sleep. 34 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:38,480 Speaker 2: Spicy sleep. 35 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:39,000 Speaker 3: Oh yes. 36 00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:42,119 Speaker 1: He asked me out after that and we slowly transitioned 37 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:45,360 Speaker 1: into a relationship. Anyway, moving on, I woke up to 38 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:48,040 Speaker 1: day with vague memories of what happened the night before, 39 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:50,040 Speaker 1: but my body felt wrong. 40 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:51,000 Speaker 3: I know. 41 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:54,480 Speaker 1: I got insanely drunk and stupidly said yes when I 42 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:58,160 Speaker 1: was offered X. I've only ever smoked the Devil's lettuce 43 00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:01,000 Speaker 1: in the past, and that was during UNI. The UK 44 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:04,480 Speaker 1: is very strict on usage of substances, and my job 45 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:07,600 Speaker 1: requires a pretty intense background check. Even being in the 46 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:10,399 Speaker 1: vicinity of substances might get me fired. 47 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:13,960 Speaker 2: Wow, I mean that's like, I mean, some of my 48 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:16,760 Speaker 2: friends that work in like I get a Boeing or 49 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:21,679 Speaker 2: or any defense companies. They do drug tests on the wreck. Right, 50 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,919 Speaker 2: you can't smoke any devil's lettuce or do any kind 51 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 2: of other substance. 52 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:28,280 Speaker 1: I guess if you're like building a thing that will 53 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:32,480 Speaker 1: fly and keep hundreds of people safe, you, yes, do 54 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:33,280 Speaker 1: you want to be a little. 55 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:34,799 Speaker 2: It's more just like if you have a contract with 56 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:37,000 Speaker 2: the government. The government's a little bit more like, hey, 57 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 2: don't do that. 58 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:38,080 Speaker 3: Yeah. 59 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 4: Wait, true, do you guys? Is it as often as 60 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:41,639 Speaker 4: we have drug tests? 61 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 2: Yeah? Really more often? P in this cup right now, Riley? 62 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 3: Yeah? Do it looks like you don't ask. 63 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:48,839 Speaker 4: Me to peed a cup for some reason. I don't 64 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:49,200 Speaker 4: know why. 65 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 3: It's totally normal. It's totally super super normal. Yeah. 66 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:53,520 Speaker 2: He keeps like, oh, why do you drink it? How 67 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:55,080 Speaker 2: do you think we test? How do you think we 68 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 2: test if it's good? Pee exactly? How are we supposed 69 00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:59,840 Speaker 2: to know? How are we supposed to know? But is 70 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:01,680 Speaker 2: that taste? 71 00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:02,600 Speaker 3: Oh? That? Oh? 72 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:04,120 Speaker 4: That okay, that's what you guys. 73 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:08,760 Speaker 2: Doing, Yeah, Riley, eat this cookie and do the test. 74 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:12,400 Speaker 2: Oh and we'll see whether you're clean or not. 75 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 3: That's right, all right? Cool? 76 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:16,360 Speaker 1: At the party, I hung out with my friends towards 77 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:18,280 Speaker 1: the beginning of the night. But I turned into a 78 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:21,600 Speaker 1: social butterfly when I'm wasted, and I wandered off and 79 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:23,720 Speaker 1: ended up chatting to a friend of a friend. I 80 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:26,960 Speaker 1: barely knew. He was quite flirty, and I remember mentioning 81 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,400 Speaker 1: pretty early on that I had a boyfriend and he 82 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:30,519 Speaker 1: was just bantering. 83 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:31,880 Speaker 2: Now, just bantering. 84 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,520 Speaker 3: That's called flirting. Just bantering. You know, he's like, oh, 85 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:38,080 Speaker 3: you look so beautiful, why don't you marry me? Banter banter? 86 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:41,800 Speaker 3: Now back to mine? Banter banter. Now. 87 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:46,680 Speaker 1: I can't remember who initiated it, but I remember kissing him. 88 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:48,920 Speaker 2: I mean she did it. You were on X, so 89 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:51,200 Speaker 2: all right, I think probably like this. 90 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:55,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, bro, you don't understand. 91 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 2: The practice is going crazy. I was ready to go 92 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,880 Speaker 2: throw back to the other. John talked about how he 93 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,119 Speaker 2: practiced kissing dude. 94 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:03,400 Speaker 3: I would. 95 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:06,400 Speaker 1: I would make out on my knee in the shower too. 96 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 1: I don't know why I chuge. 97 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,920 Speaker 2: It's wet and wild. It is a little because like 98 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:14,040 Speaker 2: your lips are wet, and you have to simulate wetness 99 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:16,800 Speaker 2: on the other side, kissing in the rain, kissing in 100 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 2: the rain, perfect prepping for that. 101 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,200 Speaker 1: I don't know for how long I was kissing him, 102 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 1: but it felt pretty intense, probably because of the X. 103 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:27,479 Speaker 1: After beating myself up and having a shower, not kissing 104 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,760 Speaker 1: any knees though. I asked any of the friends if 105 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,360 Speaker 1: they had witnessed anything, and one of them said that 106 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:35,039 Speaker 1: she was the one who dragged me away from the 107 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:39,039 Speaker 1: other guy after seeing me making out with him. That 108 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:41,839 Speaker 1: is a good friend. That is a good friend, she said, 109 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,560 Speaker 1: as she grabbed me. She could tell I was ridiculously 110 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 1: drunk and had no idea what I was doing, and 111 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 1: took care of me the rest of the night. Let's 112 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,479 Speaker 1: let's maybe answer this question. 113 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:54,680 Speaker 2: A little later, but I'm curious right now everyone in 114 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:57,279 Speaker 2: the comments, is that an excuse? 115 00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:58,040 Speaker 3: Now? 116 00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:02,720 Speaker 1: Is being super wasted an excuse? And you didn't know 117 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:03,559 Speaker 1: what you were doing? 118 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:08,120 Speaker 2: No? If you're I mean, like, if you're getting drunk 119 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:11,080 Speaker 2: to the point that you don't know what you're doing. Personally, 120 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,719 Speaker 2: I don't think it's like I'm not I'm not interested 121 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:14,400 Speaker 2: in that relationship. 122 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:18,680 Speaker 1: I've like, I'm gonna be honest, I don't really know 123 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:21,040 Speaker 1: how that's possible. 124 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:23,400 Speaker 2: Well, you could get blackout drunk, like like you get 125 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:27,159 Speaker 2: blackout drunk and then not just just you know, not 126 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:32,159 Speaker 2: have your best mental faculties. And many people when I 127 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:35,880 Speaker 2: was in college, I got very drunk and probably didn't 128 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:40,200 Speaker 2: make the best decisions all the time. But if I'm 129 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:44,120 Speaker 2: in a relationship and doing that and not remembering and 130 00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:47,320 Speaker 2: kissing other people, I would not expect my partner to 131 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 2: be like, oh, yeah, that's fine, you're good, you're good. 132 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:55,400 Speaker 2: Oh you kiss it as long as you're drunk drunk, right, yeah, 133 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,920 Speaker 2: that's fine. Like I think that's I think that's kind 134 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:02,680 Speaker 2: of whack, so not an excuse, and I feel like 135 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:04,640 Speaker 2: it signals that you're probably not ready for a committed 136 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:07,960 Speaker 2: relationship if you're getting fed up to the point of 137 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:09,760 Speaker 2: losing your mental faculty. 138 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:12,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, I also just realized, I don't think I've ever 139 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:13,360 Speaker 1: reached that point. 140 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:15,240 Speaker 3: Lame. 141 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 2: I know. 142 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:23,040 Speaker 1: She had chosen not to say anything to me if 143 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:25,560 Speaker 1: I didn't remember, since it was just a drunken mistake, 144 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,000 Speaker 1: and my other friends agree with her. 145 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:33,240 Speaker 2: Now now to jail, jail, to jail, to jail. S 146 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,400 Speaker 2: thinky stinky, stinky, you and your friends are stinky. 147 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,719 Speaker 1: That's right, they said. It's not worth blowing up my 148 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:39,280 Speaker 1: relationship with something. 149 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:43,880 Speaker 2: Like stinky it's not. It's called telling the truth, admitting 150 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:44,720 Speaker 2: what you've done wrong. 151 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,960 Speaker 1: They said, it's not worth blowing up my relationship with 152 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,120 Speaker 1: something like this since it doesn't mean anything, and I 153 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:55,080 Speaker 1: barely remember what happened now. She told me nobody else saw, 154 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,839 Speaker 1: since we were in a quite secluded corner, and this 155 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:01,080 Speaker 1: secret would stay between us. But I'm not sure how. 156 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:04,960 Speaker 2: To tell him. Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him, 157 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:05,800 Speaker 2: that's how you proceed. 158 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:09,440 Speaker 3: Well, you're saying, tell him. The the the boyfriend, the boyfriend, 159 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:10,040 Speaker 3: her boyfriend. 160 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 1: He texted me this morning asking how I was and 161 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,239 Speaker 1: hoping I had a nice time and if my friend 162 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:17,040 Speaker 1: liked her present, thence he helped me shop for it, 163 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:19,560 Speaker 1: and I haven't been able to apply to him. 164 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:22,880 Speaker 2: The boyfriend helped her shop for the present at the 165 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:25,080 Speaker 2: party that she cheated on him with. 166 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:26,320 Speaker 3: Yep, yep. 167 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 2: Oh classic man, classic, classic classic. I've got man's going 168 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:34,360 Speaker 2: to be hitting the gym soon, dude. He's going to 169 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:38,160 Speaker 2: be getting so swollen. His life is about to transfold. 170 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:38,480 Speaker 1: Dude. 171 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:40,200 Speaker 2: He's going to be a monster. 172 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,720 Speaker 3: And then he's gonna find that guy from the party 173 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,680 Speaker 3: and be like, sump. 174 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, what's up, what's up? Little scrawny little man, Pip squeak. 175 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:48,680 Speaker 3: You know you know what? 176 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,640 Speaker 2: These are? Pain muscles? 177 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:51,240 Speaker 3: Whoa. 178 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:54,160 Speaker 2: I turned my emotional sadness at the love of my 179 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:55,160 Speaker 2: life cheating on me. 180 00:07:55,800 --> 00:08:01,080 Speaker 3: It took gains, dude, sad pains into mad gains works. 181 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 2: Wouch, it works, it works. 182 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:06,000 Speaker 3: Riley's a living testament. If you don't have therapy, hit 183 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,080 Speaker 3: the gym. That's right. 184 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:11,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, true, honestly theist. Hit the gym and listen, o kop, 185 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:13,440 Speaker 4: your life will be great. Look at me. 186 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,840 Speaker 1: I've gotten no words until I sort out what I'm 187 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:20,800 Speaker 1: going to do. I know these girls would never tell 188 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,840 Speaker 1: a soul what happened, But the guilt is killing me. 189 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:24,280 Speaker 3: That's bad. 190 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:27,320 Speaker 1: I don't know how I'm going to face my boyfriend 191 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,720 Speaker 1: the next time I see him, even if I choose not. 192 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:30,080 Speaker 3: To tell him. 193 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,560 Speaker 1: You tell him, You tell him, You tell him. And 194 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,000 Speaker 1: if I do, then how do I deal with everything? 195 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:38,800 Speaker 2: If he chooses to leave you, just you just accept it. 196 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:41,679 Speaker 2: You accept it. You may have dombe decision, you accept it. 197 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:42,120 Speaker 3: That's right. 198 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,120 Speaker 1: I know I'll never do anything like this again, because 199 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,720 Speaker 1: I'll never let myself be put in such a minor estate. 200 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:51,120 Speaker 2: But it would say that then say that you know, 201 00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:54,400 Speaker 2: be transparent, say that you know you made a mistake. 202 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:58,680 Speaker 2: Maybe he'll forgive you. But like the relationship could should 203 00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:02,120 Speaker 2: continue to exist in intel by being transparent. 204 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:05,800 Speaker 1: Absolutely and hopefully you know, just by being transparent a 205 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,839 Speaker 1: maybe there's a possibility to continue the relationship or be 206 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:12,240 Speaker 1: at least you leave on good terms, good good terms, 207 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:13,280 Speaker 1: no terms? 208 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, goodish goodish terms. 209 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 2: I cheated on you, I'm honest. Where's my pad on 210 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:18,960 Speaker 2: the back? 211 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:22,400 Speaker 3: Yeah? Who are good terms? 212 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:25,120 Speaker 2: Right? They don't give me a pad of the back? 213 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:27,400 Speaker 2: I was giving you the pad on the I'm not 214 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:38,440 Speaker 2: the cheater. I pretending and I did. 215 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 1: They didn't to be clear to be if I did, 216 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:48,240 Speaker 1: I was drunk? Does count? And oh my god, all 217 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:49,800 Speaker 1: the influences guys. 218 00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:52,080 Speaker 2: They called me an. 219 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,000 Speaker 1: I'll never let myself be put in such a mind estate. 220 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 1: But it would be absolutely horrible of me if I 221 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:01,160 Speaker 1: chose to just move on from this without telling him. 222 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,600 Speaker 1: I need objective advice because I know my friends are 223 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,200 Speaker 1: always going to try and protect and help me. I 224 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,720 Speaker 1: know I exhibited supreme lack of judgment. It would not 225 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:13,800 Speaker 1: mind any criticism, but please don't sloop shame me. Please, 226 00:10:14,559 --> 00:10:21,040 Speaker 1: and we have some comments, but ladies and gentlemen watching 227 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,320 Speaker 1: right now, Samuel Honor. 228 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:24,040 Speaker 2: Yes. 229 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,280 Speaker 3: First question, should she come clean? 230 00:10:27,679 --> 00:10:29,640 Speaker 2: Uh? Yeah, she should totally come clean. 231 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:35,520 Speaker 3: Second question, what should she say? She should say, let's 232 00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:38,040 Speaker 3: role play. You be the girlfriend, I'll be the boyfriend. 233 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:42,800 Speaker 2: Okay, you know how I went to that party last night? Yeah, babe, Well, 234 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:48,320 Speaker 2: I got super drunk and I don't know what was happening, 235 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:52,280 Speaker 2: but some of my friends saw me kissing another guy 236 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,520 Speaker 2: and I'm really sorry. I meant nothing, but I felt 237 00:10:55,559 --> 00:10:59,079 Speaker 2: like I should let you know. I totally understand if 238 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:03,320 Speaker 2: that means the end this relationship, but you deserve to know. 239 00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:07,440 Speaker 3: You know what what I understand? Come over here, big boy, 240 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,480 Speaker 3: I understand that I need to dump you right now. 241 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:14,240 Speaker 3: Oh no, I never see you again. Get out of here, 242 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:18,760 Speaker 3: go run. Gave you some X. I don't care. Get off. 243 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:22,320 Speaker 3: This isn't musk. Get out of our face. 244 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:24,560 Speaker 2: You know how much I love Elon. He's just a 245 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:25,560 Speaker 2: misunderstand genius. 246 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:31,320 Speaker 3: Think go marry him. I leave and never come back. 247 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:35,880 Speaker 2: Okay, just broke up with my boyfriend. You want to 248 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,959 Speaker 2: get drinks? Let's be texting the guy that I was 249 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,640 Speaker 2: so campy good. 250 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,040 Speaker 4: That was Yeah, I like that I was understaying. 251 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:43,080 Speaker 3: Let's freaking and. 252 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:46,599 Speaker 2: I think in that like, Yes, the boyfriend left in 253 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,280 Speaker 2: that scenario, which he's entitled to do, but at least 254 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:53,560 Speaker 2: the girlfriend was OPI was integrity. She like said she 255 00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:56,240 Speaker 2: she she got back to integrity. She lied, but now 256 00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:58,520 Speaker 2: she got back to integrity by laying all the information 257 00:11:58,679 --> 00:11:59,040 Speaker 2: on the floor. 258 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:01,120 Speaker 3: If you do it wrong, to do as much right 259 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:01,840 Speaker 3: as you can. 260 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:06,000 Speaker 1: Yeah afterwards, Yeah, for yourself to be a better person, 261 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:10,160 Speaker 1: honest some comments. Come clean with your boyfriend now confessing 262 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:13,079 Speaker 1: your mistake and promising that you will never get crap 263 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:17,040 Speaker 1: faced again, and because you're being forthcoming, honest and regretful, 264 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:20,080 Speaker 1: having the possibility that he will eventually forgive you and 265 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:23,600 Speaker 1: maybe save your relationship. Having him find out a month, 266 00:12:23,679 --> 00:12:25,520 Speaker 1: six months, or a year down the road. At that 267 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,640 Speaker 1: point he will know that you hit it from him, 268 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,680 Speaker 1: lied by omission, and have a hard time proving and 269 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:35,000 Speaker 1: documenting what actually happened. He will never forgive you or 270 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:37,520 Speaker 1: trust you again if he finds out about it this way, 271 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:42,559 Speaker 1: and it is almost certainly a death neal for your relationship. 272 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:46,440 Speaker 1: Ouch yep Opie says, the possibility of him not forgiving 273 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:49,400 Speaker 1: me is what is terrifying to me. But you're completely 274 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:51,640 Speaker 1: right about it being worse if he finds out down 275 00:12:51,679 --> 00:12:54,559 Speaker 1: the road, which you will. I don't think there's going 276 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:57,480 Speaker 1: to be a magical, perfect outcome for me here. 277 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:01,959 Speaker 2: I am not. I don't have high hopes. I don't 278 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:05,079 Speaker 2: have high hopes. But what I do have high hopes 279 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:07,920 Speaker 2: for yes, is that there will be a juicy update. 280 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:11,680 Speaker 1: There's not only a juicy update. Oh, it is coming 281 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:15,559 Speaker 1: one day later, one day later, so the next day 282 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:22,920 Speaker 1: hopefully it is her confessing her Since yes to your 283 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:23,880 Speaker 1: father's right here. 284 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:32,960 Speaker 3: Your father's the Internet daddy's Oh, Internet boys maybe, but 285 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:33,960 Speaker 3: Internet daddy. 286 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,319 Speaker 4: Internet guys can be Internet daddies when you have kids. 287 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:37,120 Speaker 4: That would actually be. 288 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:38,360 Speaker 2: Pretty Internet daddies. 289 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:42,360 Speaker 1: Brue, Dude, we start a fatherhood podcast, that would crush. 290 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:45,280 Speaker 1: Not gonna lie, that would be that would be sick. 291 00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:47,040 Speaker 2: Something I kind of want to do is like, when 292 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:49,760 Speaker 2: I'm on the verge of having kids, doing a series 293 00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:53,680 Speaker 2: interviewing parents and children all around the world to gather 294 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:58,679 Speaker 2: knowledge about what it means to be a good. 295 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,000 Speaker 4: We all have gids at the same time. 296 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:04,920 Speaker 2: I feel like we probably I think John's probably the bossist. 297 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:06,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, having kids. 298 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:11,920 Speaker 1: That's true Flagrant podcast. They all got married within like 299 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:15,840 Speaker 1: the same like twelve months married or engaged, except like 300 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:16,360 Speaker 1: one person. 301 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:20,760 Speaker 2: I could I could see us. I could see us aligning. Yeah, 302 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,640 Speaker 2: we could see us aligning, all having kids at the 303 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:22,960 Speaker 2: same time. 304 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:23,160 Speaker 4: It could. 305 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:24,200 Speaker 3: It could be pretty close. 306 00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:27,880 Speaker 4: So fun they would be. We would call them cousins, right, 307 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,440 Speaker 4: Uncle John, Uncle Sam. 308 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:34,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna make them take money from you. 309 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:40,320 Speaker 3: It's Uncle Sam dollar. That's actually hilarious. 310 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:43,800 Speaker 1: My parents did have this rule. Anytime somebody cursed, we 311 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:47,240 Speaker 1: would get a dollar, and it created this perverse incentive 312 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:50,120 Speaker 1: for us to like constantly start spying on all of 313 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:51,800 Speaker 1: my like all of our aunts and uncles and their 314 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:55,520 Speaker 1: adult friends trying here broke. 315 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:57,320 Speaker 2: That's that's that's a great idea though. 316 00:14:58,120 --> 00:14:58,760 Speaker 4: Five bucks. 317 00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:00,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah bucks. 318 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,480 Speaker 3: Honestly. Yeah. One time there was a guy about my dad. 319 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:04,960 Speaker 1: He was like going into a business meeting and he 320 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,600 Speaker 1: brought me with him and then he's like, we have 321 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:08,320 Speaker 1: this little rule, you know, every time you curse the 322 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,640 Speaker 1: dollar and he's like, here's some insurance, son, And I 323 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,440 Speaker 1: was like, he gave me like freaking ten bucks, and. 324 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:17,040 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, here's some sure that's a lie. 325 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,520 Speaker 2: That's also that's why I love hearing curse words. Now, yeah, 326 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:21,600 Speaker 2: because you're like perverse incentives. 327 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:25,720 Speaker 4: Anyways, all these kids are gonna have Vimo accounts, right. 328 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:27,040 Speaker 3: Here's your cash up. 329 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:28,400 Speaker 2: You can dick, you can dig your. 330 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:32,120 Speaker 4: Carush request that would definitely be my kids. There's only 331 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,440 Speaker 4: one thing I want to request from you guys, though, what. 332 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:40,120 Speaker 2: Subscribe truly and it's free, freaking subscribe a partner anything, 333 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,320 Speaker 2: subscribe literally free? 334 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,000 Speaker 3: Do it? Be the first, be the first to get 335 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:43,480 Speaker 3: these videos. 336 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,800 Speaker 2: Be the change you want to see in yourselves by 337 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:48,400 Speaker 2: turning that little red button a different color. 338 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,160 Speaker 3: That's right, white red. 339 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:51,000 Speaker 2: It's red. 340 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,600 Speaker 3: The button's red, and I think it goes to white. Baby. Yeah, 341 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,080 Speaker 3: something clicking and find out and tell us in the comments. 342 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:58,520 Speaker 3: Thanks guys. Onto the update one day later. 343 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:01,720 Speaker 1: Thank you everyone for the advice left, especially the comments 344 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:05,000 Speaker 1: calling out my behavior. While they initially stung, you made 345 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,160 Speaker 1: me see the way I was trying to justify what 346 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,120 Speaker 1: I did instead of taking accountability. 347 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:10,240 Speaker 3: Very good. 348 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,520 Speaker 1: I got a dozen messages from people who had been 349 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:15,600 Speaker 1: in my boyfriend's position before, and I want to apologize 350 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:18,120 Speaker 1: if my post was triggering in any way, So I 351 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:23,680 Speaker 1: listened to the majority and told by boyfriend. We did 352 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:26,720 Speaker 1: the right thing. We dropped the truth bomb. 353 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:29,440 Speaker 2: That is great. I love when Reddit convinces someone to 354 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:30,040 Speaker 2: do the right thing. 355 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:32,160 Speaker 3: Yes, it is refreshing, refreshing. 356 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:34,920 Speaker 2: I texted my boyfriend that I missed him a lot, 357 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 2: and he said that he could drive down and stay 358 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:38,920 Speaker 2: for a couple of days since he could work remotely 359 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:39,320 Speaker 2: if he. 360 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,680 Speaker 3: Wanted to, but I don't have that option. 361 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:43,960 Speaker 1: He basically left as soon as I asked him to, 362 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,560 Speaker 1: and it takes him about four hours to reach my city, 363 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:49,080 Speaker 1: in which I had enough time to get the full 364 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:51,880 Speaker 1: story of that night. I asked a friend of mine 365 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,920 Speaker 1: if he could find out from the guy what happened 366 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:59,160 Speaker 1: without making it obvious I was asking, and he agreed. 367 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,480 Speaker 1: I asked him to call me when he did so 368 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:04,639 Speaker 1: me and my friends could listen in. I wanted to 369 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:07,080 Speaker 1: know exactly what he said, so I knew what to 370 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:08,000 Speaker 1: tell my boyfriend. 371 00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:11,560 Speaker 4: I don't like this approach. Yeah, why are we bringing 372 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:12,600 Speaker 4: the other guy into this? 373 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:13,760 Speaker 3: Yeah? 374 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,399 Speaker 2: I mean I feel like you can just say, hey, 375 00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:17,240 Speaker 2: I know I made out with this guy. I don't 376 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:18,600 Speaker 2: actually remember what happened. 377 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,560 Speaker 4: And why does all your friends that need to listen 378 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:22,560 Speaker 4: to that's weird. 379 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,520 Speaker 3: For op, You're a little strange. 380 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,200 Speaker 1: My friend is closer to that guy than I am, 381 00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:30,600 Speaker 1: and they game together, so him going over to his 382 00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:34,280 Speaker 1: flat isn't an uncommon occurrence. Initially, he was worried that 383 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,960 Speaker 1: he wasn't a good actor, but I told him exactly 384 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:37,560 Speaker 1: how to bring it. 385 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:39,200 Speaker 3: Up, and he did it pretty well. 386 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,600 Speaker 1: To be honest, he said he had seen me and 387 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:44,560 Speaker 1: him kissing and asked what was going on. The other 388 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:47,320 Speaker 1: guy laughed the whole thing off, saying he didn't think 389 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:50,240 Speaker 1: I'd be such a salute and that my friend was a. 390 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,600 Speaker 3: Punt for dragging me away. 391 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:57,000 Speaker 2: What a nice guy sounds like, real, sort of the 392 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,480 Speaker 2: earth man, a little gentleman, truly. 393 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,359 Speaker 1: My friend said the situation was pretty f now since 394 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:06,000 Speaker 1: I had a boyfriend, and the other guy said if 395 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,040 Speaker 1: I didn't want him to kiss me, then I shouldn't 396 00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:10,840 Speaker 1: have hung around him all night. But my friends told 397 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:13,600 Speaker 1: me I wasn't around him for more than twenty minutes 398 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:16,520 Speaker 1: in total. At least now I know I'm not the 399 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:19,280 Speaker 1: one who initiated the kiss, and he was much more 400 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,600 Speaker 1: sober than me, since he recalled things that I had 401 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:25,080 Speaker 1: no recollection of saying in my previous I feel like, again, 402 00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:29,960 Speaker 1: that's just kind of like deflecting, deflecting and taking less accountability. 403 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:32,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, just tell him what you know. 404 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,840 Speaker 1: Like you said in my previous post, I said, I 405 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:39,640 Speaker 1: remembered mentioning my boyfriend, and he said and he said too, 406 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:42,199 Speaker 1: So I am trusting the little memories that I have 407 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:45,520 Speaker 1: of that night. A couple people messaged me saying I 408 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:48,879 Speaker 1: had been taken advantage of, but I honestly can't say. 409 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:51,720 Speaker 1: But I honestly can't say that since I did kiss 410 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,800 Speaker 1: him back. That is a huge accusation to make, and 411 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:58,600 Speaker 1: I can't remember enough even to say that. Everything that 412 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:01,080 Speaker 1: guy said just confirmed to me that I needed to 413 00:19:01,119 --> 00:19:04,080 Speaker 1: tell my boyfriend. I'm furious with him for the way 414 00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:07,719 Speaker 1: he talked about my friend and about my friend and I, 415 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,400 Speaker 1: but I'm not going to waste any more time on him. 416 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:13,000 Speaker 1: While my boyfriend was driving down, I texted him that 417 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:15,280 Speaker 1: he needed to talk to him about something important as 418 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,840 Speaker 1: soon as he got there, so I wouldn't chicken out. 419 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,400 Speaker 1: I lived with two of my friends and they cleared 420 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:21,639 Speaker 1: out until I had talked to. 421 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:23,080 Speaker 3: Him, so I had no excuses. 422 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:26,480 Speaker 1: He looked so worried when he arrived I think he 423 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:28,680 Speaker 1: thought I was going to break up with him, since 424 00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:30,960 Speaker 1: I was crying as well. Yeah, like, we need to 425 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,560 Speaker 1: talk as soon as you get here. Dude bro thinks 426 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,760 Speaker 1: that he's gonna be in the doghouse. Meanwhile, she is 427 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:38,800 Speaker 1: in the doghouse. 428 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:42,359 Speaker 2: They like that shows that he's in love, which makes 429 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:43,359 Speaker 2: me even sad. 430 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:49,040 Speaker 3: Oh, he was being so unbelievably sweet and hugged at 431 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:51,520 Speaker 3: me tightly and said he wanted to work it out 432 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:53,920 Speaker 3: and just wanted me to. 433 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:56,399 Speaker 4: Talk to me. I'm sorry I cheated on you, babe. 434 00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:00,320 Speaker 4: Imagine he's like, oh, it's okay, I just on you. 435 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:00,720 Speaker 3: But it's fine. 436 00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:02,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, or cancels it, shut out. 437 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:04,720 Speaker 3: She's like, you're right, let's let's work on it. Let's 438 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,000 Speaker 3: let's just keep like doing our thing. 439 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:07,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, I can give you. You don't have to you don't 440 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,080 Speaker 2: have to worry about what I have to tell you. 441 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:11,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, It's all good. It's all good. 442 00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:13,159 Speaker 1: So I sat him down and told him not to 443 00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,720 Speaker 1: interrupt me and to let me finish. I told him 444 00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:19,800 Speaker 1: everything taking X, kissing another guy and waking up not 445 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,879 Speaker 1: remembering anything. I even told him that I contemplated not 446 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,800 Speaker 1: telling him anything. What the guy said on the phone, 447 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:29,040 Speaker 1: absolutely everything, which good move or not? 448 00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:32,040 Speaker 2: I have a question, talk to me. Do we know 449 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:34,679 Speaker 2: that what she was given was actually X? 450 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,359 Speaker 3: That's a yeah, that's a very good question. 451 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,159 Speaker 4: Does that make you sleepy? X? 452 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:44,520 Speaker 2: No? No, what does it do? It's like it's like 453 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:48,240 Speaker 2: like adelic not it it's more like well, I mean 454 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,359 Speaker 2: there are psychedelic properties, but it's it's more it's an 455 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,399 Speaker 2: upper So it's like a lot of energy. Oh, a 456 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,119 Speaker 2: lot of like you feel like feelings of love and 457 00:20:56,160 --> 00:21:00,840 Speaker 2: for you connection, like you're more suggestible, which I mean 458 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:04,880 Speaker 2: like maybe, but I not not memory. 459 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:07,640 Speaker 3: Loss, she said she was. She said she was also 460 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:08,440 Speaker 3: like weed. 461 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean drunk would be a memory loss. 462 00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:13,959 Speaker 2: But but no, it's a great question. No, that's what 463 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:17,200 Speaker 2: that actually was. Yeah, And and like you know, could 464 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:19,879 Speaker 2: have been something else that made her lose her memory 465 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,600 Speaker 2: and made her more suggestible, right in that in that case, 466 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:26,720 Speaker 2: is it a different an entirely different, entirely different, which 467 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:31,040 Speaker 2: is what I believe her friend or someone suggested. But also, 468 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,760 Speaker 2: don't take drugs from strangers. 469 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,119 Speaker 3: Don't do it. 470 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:36,160 Speaker 2: From a stranger. 471 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,040 Speaker 1: I forget, I don't know that if I feel like 472 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,320 Speaker 1: it was from a friend, oh, here we go. I know, 473 00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:44,439 Speaker 1: I got insanely drunk and stupidly said yes when I 474 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:45,960 Speaker 1: was offered X. 475 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:53,880 Speaker 2: So potentially, potentially someone random offered her a drug that 476 00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:57,960 Speaker 2: may or may not have been what she thought it was. Yeah, yeah, 477 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:01,120 Speaker 2: I I I definitely think that's a possible. The possibility 478 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,560 Speaker 2: that being said, still a dumb move. Don't take drugs 479 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:07,399 Speaker 2: from strangers. But you're also when you're like getting like 480 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,639 Speaker 2: wasted in blackout drunk, when you're taking drugs from strangers, 481 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,880 Speaker 2: you are not setting yourself up one for your own 482 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:16,160 Speaker 2: safety and also to make the best decisions if you're 483 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:19,639 Speaker 2: as He's a red flag in it of itself, regardless 484 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:21,280 Speaker 2: of what you actually did on those substances. 485 00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:23,760 Speaker 1: He was holding my hand tightly in the beginning, and 486 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,679 Speaker 1: by the end of it he had his head in 487 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:28,000 Speaker 1: his hands as he listened to me finish. 488 00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:30,800 Speaker 3: He just sat there in the end and stared at 489 00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:31,200 Speaker 3: the flour. 490 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,080 Speaker 1: I knew I needed to give him time, but I 491 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:37,760 Speaker 1: don't know how long we both just stared into space. 492 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:41,200 Speaker 1: I had no clue what he was thinking. I would 493 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,159 Speaker 1: have preferred if he just yelled at me so we 494 00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:46,200 Speaker 1: could at least talk. I wanted to shake him into 495 00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:52,280 Speaker 1: saying anything. When he finally spoke, his voice sounded soft, hurt. 496 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:55,560 Speaker 1: He asked me if I actually did want to see him, 497 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:58,240 Speaker 1: or if I made him drive four hours just so 498 00:22:58,280 --> 00:22:58,760 Speaker 1: I could. 499 00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:04,480 Speaker 3: Tell him I kissed someone. Oh rah rah. 500 00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,760 Speaker 1: I said, I did miss him, but I knew I 501 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:09,080 Speaker 1: needed to tell him what happened and didn't want to 502 00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:11,080 Speaker 1: do it on the phone. I told him that I 503 00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:14,080 Speaker 1: wanted to take full accountability and that as drunk or 504 00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:16,480 Speaker 1: high as I was, that was no excuse, and I 505 00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:20,320 Speaker 1: was so very sorry for hurting him this way. After this, 506 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,280 Speaker 1: I know I can't trust myself to drink in a 507 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,840 Speaker 1: responsible way, and that I'm going to cut back on 508 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:28,000 Speaker 1: it smart. I've planned on going fully sober for one month, 509 00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:30,399 Speaker 1: just so I know I can and that nothing like 510 00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:31,639 Speaker 1: this happens again. 511 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:36,520 Speaker 2: These things aren't bad necessarily, it's just how you You. 512 00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:37,240 Speaker 3: Got to moderate. 513 00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:39,200 Speaker 1: You got a moderate, you have, you got him, And 514 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:42,240 Speaker 1: I really like the thing of like, just go sober 515 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,040 Speaker 1: for a month just to make sure, just. 516 00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:45,679 Speaker 2: To prove that you are actually in control. 517 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:51,080 Speaker 1: He replied that this had just confirmed every insecure thought 518 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:54,320 Speaker 1: he had about our relationship. He said he always felt 519 00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:56,560 Speaker 1: like I had one foot out the door, and that 520 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,520 Speaker 1: he had pressured me into this relationship, and maybe I 521 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:01,520 Speaker 1: did this as the way of getting out. 522 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:06,600 Speaker 3: Whoa, whoa. I said it was a drunken mistake and 523 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:07,600 Speaker 3: it didn't mean anything. 524 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:10,720 Speaker 1: Further, he said it meant he loved me, but I 525 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:14,080 Speaker 1: didn't love him, And and had this been any other 526 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:16,240 Speaker 1: girl in the past, he would have been out the door. 527 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:20,880 Speaker 3: But he couldn't do that with me just yet. Oh, 528 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,440 Speaker 3: because he loves her, dude. 529 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:28,280 Speaker 1: But like hearing that as op like ice in your veins, 530 00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:32,000 Speaker 1: I feel I couldn't say I loved him right now. 531 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:33,960 Speaker 3: Whoa? 532 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:37,880 Speaker 2: Oh, so maybe she did? 533 00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,760 Speaker 3: Oh maybe this was the sub kind. What is it? 534 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:44,560 Speaker 3: Drunk thoughts or sober thoughts or drunk actions? 535 00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:45,800 Speaker 2: Oh, that's startbreaking. 536 00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:48,080 Speaker 3: I cared for him a lot, and I could see 537 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:51,480 Speaker 3: myself being in love with him in the future, but 538 00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:53,040 Speaker 3: I'm not there right now. 539 00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:53,600 Speaker 2: It's okay. 540 00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:56,680 Speaker 1: I haven't been in a relationship since my fiance, and 541 00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:58,760 Speaker 1: it's been difficult for me to open my heart to 542 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:02,640 Speaker 1: someone else. I'm terrified of being left by someone else 543 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:06,680 Speaker 1: I love. Well, good news, you won't because you don't 544 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:07,080 Speaker 1: love him. 545 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:17,560 Speaker 3: I'm just saying. I'm just saying, Yo, sorry, just reporting 546 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:18,000 Speaker 3: the facts. 547 00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,399 Speaker 4: I calls him. At this season, he is. 548 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:21,520 Speaker 2: At his lowest point. 549 00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,520 Speaker 3: John, That's all I'm saying. That's all. I'm sad. I'm 550 00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:26,600 Speaker 3: just telling the truth. I'm just reading a textbook. 551 00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:28,359 Speaker 4: I do have a question here in a bit. 552 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:29,520 Speaker 3: Okay, Well, I'm excited. 553 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:32,639 Speaker 1: I asked him if he could see himself ever forgiving me, 554 00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:35,399 Speaker 1: and he said that he didn't know right now. I 555 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:38,080 Speaker 1: know I'm not the victim here, but hearing that was 556 00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:41,159 Speaker 1: so painful. I just started sobbing and being the amazing 557 00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:43,080 Speaker 1: man he is, he comforted me, and I felt so 558 00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:46,439 Speaker 1: disgusted with myself for hurting him. He held me against 559 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:48,760 Speaker 1: his chest, stroked my hair and let me cry it out. 560 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:52,560 Speaker 1: And then he left, saying he was going to get 561 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,840 Speaker 1: a hotel and we'll come back tomorrow so we could 562 00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,720 Speaker 1: talk when we're not so emotional. And after he decided 563 00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:00,840 Speaker 1: what he wanted moving forward, I told him he could 564 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:02,879 Speaker 1: stay in my room and I'd sleep on the sofa, 565 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:06,320 Speaker 1: but he said he'd think. But he said he didn't 566 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,080 Speaker 1: think he could be around me right now and make 567 00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:12,040 Speaker 1: a rational decision. Right now, I'm fighting the urge to 568 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:15,359 Speaker 1: go to him and make him stay any way, I can't. 569 00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:20,000 Speaker 1: I know, there's no magical words to fix this. Also, 570 00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,680 Speaker 1: has anyone else been through anything like this? And how 571 00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:26,720 Speaker 1: did you and your partner work past it? And we 572 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:34,159 Speaker 1: have some comments and an update that will close us 573 00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,040 Speaker 1: out with some more comments, but let's chat for a second. 574 00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:42,760 Speaker 2: Is he simping by driving four hours to get broken 575 00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:43,840 Speaker 2: up with? No? 576 00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:48,680 Speaker 4: No? Well not for that, Like one, it seems like 577 00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:50,840 Speaker 4: he's I know, he hasn't a decision, but it seemed 578 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:52,640 Speaker 4: like he was like not super mad, like he didn't 579 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:53,359 Speaker 4: leave right away. 580 00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:54,960 Speaker 3: And then he said that he loves. 581 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,840 Speaker 2: Her disappointed and sad because he actually does love her. Yeah, 582 00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:01,199 Speaker 2: I think he's heard, which he may be is simply 583 00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:02,880 Speaker 2: I don't know she's in love? 584 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:05,960 Speaker 1: Well, wait, simping for the driving off for the four 585 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:10,399 Speaker 1: hours or simple giving leaving the door open to a 586 00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:12,480 Speaker 1: possibility of getting back together? 587 00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:14,880 Speaker 4: Yeah, leaving the door open. 588 00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:15,680 Speaker 3: Yeah. 589 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:21,800 Speaker 1: I I get the feeling that he, yeah, he's in 590 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:25,520 Speaker 1: love and he's like battling inside. There's probably like a 591 00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:26,600 Speaker 1: voice that's like. 592 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:29,200 Speaker 3: Hey, stay, like this is gonna be so good, just 593 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:31,520 Speaker 3: like you know, work through it, or and then there's 594 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:34,280 Speaker 3: another voice is like she cheated on you. You can't 595 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:37,440 Speaker 3: live like this, Jim. You must hit the gym and 596 00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:43,440 Speaker 3: get swollen and listen to the podcast on the chat. Yeah, 597 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,959 Speaker 3: I I think that's what's happening here. 598 00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:49,480 Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, had him drive four hours so you could 599 00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:54,240 Speaker 1: tell him you cheated. Lol, Jesus, your insufferable ouch looking 600 00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:58,040 Speaker 1: for PC, says Harsh. You know she did it in goodwill, 601 00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:01,399 Speaker 1: in a panic state, but all admit it must not 602 00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:03,760 Speaker 1: have helped the situation. Do you think that was the 603 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:05,680 Speaker 1: right move to be, like, Hey, I want to talk 604 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:08,320 Speaker 1: about this in person, but it was like a four 605 00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:08,800 Speaker 1: hour drive. 606 00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:13,359 Speaker 2: I mean, ideally you come to him. Ah. Yeah, I 607 00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:16,000 Speaker 2: feel like it is a good thing to do in person, though. 608 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:20,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I think given the context of the driving, 609 00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,080 Speaker 1: try to see if you can drive out to him. 610 00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:25,120 Speaker 2: There was there was a reason that she couldn't drive 611 00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:25,840 Speaker 2: out to him. 612 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:30,200 Speaker 1: She couldn't work remote, so she couldn't drive down. But 613 00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,760 Speaker 1: he's like, oh, I can drive down and work remote 614 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:33,399 Speaker 1: once I. 615 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:34,920 Speaker 2: Get to me about a weekend. 616 00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:37,000 Speaker 1: Just save it till the weekend, don't don't don't make 617 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:39,280 Speaker 1: him drive for Yeah, don't make him drive four hours 618 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:43,120 Speaker 1: just to hear that. I honestly think that like a 619 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:47,120 Speaker 1: phone call or FaceTime in this context is is Okay, 620 00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:50,000 Speaker 1: I wouldn't I wouldn't put. 621 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:52,120 Speaker 3: The load on him. 622 00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:56,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, four hours just just that's also in a way, 623 00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:00,120 Speaker 1: like I guess a phone it's the best setup. But 624 00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:02,959 Speaker 1: in a way there is like a twinge of selfishness 625 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,000 Speaker 1: of like I want to do the apology the best 626 00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:06,920 Speaker 1: way possible. 627 00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:10,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, almost, like in the way that works best for 628 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:13,640 Speaker 2: the possibility of getting back together, right, which is like 629 00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:17,880 Speaker 2: her own desire and coal. Yeah, yeah, I think I 630 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:19,920 Speaker 2: think doing it over the phone is better. 631 00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:21,920 Speaker 1: But if she but if she drives out, or if 632 00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:24,280 Speaker 1: they're in a scenario where it's like a lot less 633 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:26,840 Speaker 1: like it's oh they live like ten to fifty minutes, Yeah, to. 634 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:30,440 Speaker 2: Have him drive four hours, no, that's yeah, I feel 635 00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:32,800 Speaker 2: like that's pretty unfair. Kind of a lot op just 636 00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:37,320 Speaker 2: keeps misstepping, Yeah, every single But on that front, I 637 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:40,440 Speaker 2: feel like it's what way less of a like I 638 00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:44,560 Speaker 2: don't see it as bad as the cheating obviously, Oh, 639 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:48,640 Speaker 2: making him drive, I don't think there's any maliciousness in that. 640 00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:51,680 Speaker 1: No, no, no, she's trying to do good. But yeah, 641 00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:55,240 Speaker 1: woman Jaccato Narm says, guess who is currently on his 642 00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:58,239 Speaker 1: way home right now, Opie, It'll be a miracle if 643 00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:00,480 Speaker 1: you ever hear from him again. You might want to 644 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:02,760 Speaker 1: check your socials and see if he is still on there. 645 00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:04,600 Speaker 1: If he isn't, he won't be coming back. 646 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:05,240 Speaker 3: Ouch. 647 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:10,560 Speaker 2: Bro, these reddit people go like so hard, like, I 648 00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:12,560 Speaker 2: think there's a very good chance that he talks to 649 00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:13,640 Speaker 2: you totally. 650 00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:16,040 Speaker 3: He seemed very conflicted. 651 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,360 Speaker 4: Yeah, I just feel like these reddit people have been like, 652 00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:20,200 Speaker 4: hurt really. 653 00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:23,920 Speaker 1: Bad dude, Like they have hurt him, that's will hurt you. 654 00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:27,520 Speaker 1: They always go scorched to earth. I wouldn't say, don't 655 00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:29,600 Speaker 1: say anything online. You wouldn't say to your. 656 00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:34,280 Speaker 3: Friend and person. All right, boys, boys, guess what what? 657 00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:38,480 Speaker 3: We have a big, fat, juicy update. 658 00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:42,240 Speaker 4: Before we get into this update, Oh, there's something you 659 00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:42,520 Speaker 4: could do. 660 00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:48,160 Speaker 2: Update that little subscribe button below from red to white. 661 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:53,520 Speaker 3: It should say subscribed, not subscribe. Buh subscribed. 662 00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:56,120 Speaker 2: Duh. We should actually look at what the subscribe button. 663 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:58,000 Speaker 3: I'm not even gonna look at it. I don't even care. 664 00:30:58,200 --> 00:30:59,800 Speaker 2: Oh it's white and it turns to black. 665 00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:04,760 Speaker 3: Guys, click that button. Change it to the color. That 666 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,400 Speaker 3: means that you will see our videos. 667 00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:11,240 Speaker 1: Imagine a world where you see our videos and you're 668 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:12,760 Speaker 1: one of the first people and you can comment and 669 00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:16,560 Speaker 1: be like first WHOA, That's a dope world. 670 00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:16,720 Speaker 3: To live in. 671 00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:19,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, just change the color of the subscribe button if 672 00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:20,960 Speaker 2: you're not subscribed, just do it. 673 00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:21,760 Speaker 3: Just do it please? 674 00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:25,720 Speaker 1: All right, guys, let's get into this obortact. So sorry 675 00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:28,800 Speaker 1: I forgot to update this past week. It's been pretty crappy. 676 00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:32,120 Speaker 2: I wrote down everything that happened, but but wasn't in 677 00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:34,840 Speaker 2: the mood to post it until today. My boyfriend came 678 00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:38,080 Speaker 2: back the next day and his demeanor had completely changed. 679 00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:40,880 Speaker 2: I tried to hug him and he sighs to at me. 680 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:46,760 Speaker 2: Psych swerve sowerve psycho. 681 00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:50,480 Speaker 1: Miss me, and I asked him if we could go 682 00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:52,640 Speaker 1: on a walk to talk, since he didn't need my 683 00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:53,840 Speaker 1: friends as an audience. 684 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:55,080 Speaker 3: Yeah. 685 00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:58,600 Speaker 1: Before he could speak, I apologized again and promised to 686 00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:01,240 Speaker 1: do whatever to make it up to him, and he 687 00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:05,240 Speaker 1: said I didn't. He said he thought about it all 688 00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:09,880 Speaker 1: night and came to the conclusion that we never should 689 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:12,840 Speaker 1: have started dating, no matter how in love he was, 690 00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:17,640 Speaker 1: that the conception of our relationship was from me being 691 00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:19,960 Speaker 1: drunk and sleeping with him, and that he should have 692 00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:23,520 Speaker 1: treated it like a mistake rather than the start of 693 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:24,280 Speaker 1: a relationship. 694 00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:25,920 Speaker 4: Becuse that's how they got together. 695 00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:26,600 Speaker 2: Bro. 696 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:32,600 Speaker 4: It was like, how you get them? 697 00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:38,360 Speaker 1: Wow, I'm kind of speechless. He said he was tired 698 00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:41,440 Speaker 1: of feeling like a second thought and apparently made him 699 00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:44,200 Speaker 1: feel that way. I kept on saying I wanted to 700 00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:46,640 Speaker 1: be with him even though I know he deserves better, 701 00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:48,840 Speaker 1: and that I knew what I was doing when we 702 00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:51,840 Speaker 1: got together. And in what circumstances did I make him 703 00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:55,120 Speaker 1: feel like he didn't matter? He said, he's seen me 704 00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:58,480 Speaker 1: in relationships when I care and love the person. He 705 00:32:58,560 --> 00:32:59,440 Speaker 1: didn't get any of that. 706 00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:02,960 Speaker 2: Oh dude, I feel like I'm being stabbed in the 707 00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:04,920 Speaker 2: heart again and again. 708 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:05,800 Speaker 3: Are you ready? 709 00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:09,160 Speaker 1: You guys both forgot this. This next line, I guarantee, 710 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:12,560 Speaker 1: I guarantee your your heart's gonna dissolve now after my 711 00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:13,920 Speaker 1: fiance passed away. 712 00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:14,840 Speaker 3: Remember that. 713 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:18,280 Speaker 1: He was the one who pushed me to go to 714 00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:22,120 Speaker 1: therapy and I always refused since I think. 715 00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:26,000 Speaker 3: I needed it. Yep, Yes, you forgot. You forgot. He 716 00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:29,959 Speaker 3: was the one who got her over the fiance. 717 00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:33,080 Speaker 1: He literally just purely as a friend, exactly as it 718 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:36,400 Speaker 1: should be, was supportive and was like, hey, you should 719 00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:37,040 Speaker 1: get some therapy. 720 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:39,640 Speaker 2: He saw how much she loved him. 721 00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:44,520 Speaker 4: Oh oh, he didn't want to be that second thought. 722 00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:47,480 Speaker 2: Bro she was the first thought. 723 00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:52,400 Speaker 1: I didn't think I needed therapy, and he brought that 724 00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:55,160 Speaker 1: up as well and said, my life would continue to 725 00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:57,520 Speaker 1: be a mess and I would continue to hurt people 726 00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:02,400 Speaker 1: until I broke my destructive patterns. Actually dealt with Miyamo, which. 727 00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:04,840 Speaker 2: Probably the excessive drinking and drugs is a way to 728 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:06,920 Speaker 2: mask any pain that she felt. 729 00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:10,040 Speaker 1: From the end of her She could be still grieving 730 00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:12,880 Speaker 1: and not sure. I mean that is a massive amount 731 00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:14,600 Speaker 1: of process at a very young age. 732 00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:16,800 Speaker 3: In her defense, she grieving. 733 00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:20,320 Speaker 1: I just had no clue what to say. I admit 734 00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:22,920 Speaker 1: I'm the one that effed up, but it's one f up. 735 00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:26,200 Speaker 1: It's not always indicative of some larger problem. A mistake 736 00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:29,840 Speaker 1: is sometimes sick. He said he still loved me, but 737 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:32,759 Speaker 1: new carrying on with a relationship right now would cause 738 00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:35,040 Speaker 1: more problems between us later down to the line, and 739 00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:37,959 Speaker 1: he didn't want that true. I told him I didn't 740 00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:41,120 Speaker 1: understand if he loved me, how could he just leave me. 741 00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:44,359 Speaker 2: I still have to let a good thing die. 742 00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:47,319 Speaker 3: Eude, this is we're We're getting some shots of being 743 00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:48,040 Speaker 3: returned over. 744 00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:50,520 Speaker 4: Twenty one had some lines about this. I'm gonna pull 745 00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:51,560 Speaker 4: it up. I'm gonna pull here we go. 746 00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:52,240 Speaker 3: I'm excited. 747 00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:55,880 Speaker 1: He said, just because we wouldn't be together didn't mean 748 00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,960 Speaker 1: he'd disappear for my life. He said, anything that happened 749 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,879 Speaker 1: between us right now would be tarnished, and he wanted 750 00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:05,399 Speaker 1: a relationship without guilt, and that wouldn't be possible right now. 751 00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:07,960 Speaker 1: I saw how painful it was for him to say 752 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:10,640 Speaker 1: all of that to me. I'd never seen him cry 753 00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:13,719 Speaker 1: before he left. After that, since I couldn't talk to 754 00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:16,400 Speaker 1: him anymore, I just felt so hurt and abandoned, and 755 00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:19,400 Speaker 1: then felt guilty for feeling like that, since I was 756 00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:21,080 Speaker 1: the one who effed up and it was just a 757 00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:24,880 Speaker 1: vicious cycle. He kissed me when he said goodbye and 758 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,840 Speaker 1: said he'll check up on me soon. He texted me 759 00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:30,320 Speaker 1: the next day just asking how I was, and I 760 00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:33,399 Speaker 1: didn't know how to reply, so I didn't. He still 761 00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:36,560 Speaker 1: messages me every day asking how I am and that 762 00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:38,840 Speaker 1: he really wishes I would text back, since he's worried 763 00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:41,479 Speaker 1: about me. I can't find it in me to reply. 764 00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:45,759 Speaker 1: I know he's asked my friends about me, but they 765 00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:48,960 Speaker 1: said he just seemed concerned about me. I still can't 766 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:50,120 Speaker 1: believe ended. 767 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:51,160 Speaker 4: It all right, What. 768 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:55,000 Speaker 1: Does mister Savage have to say about this? Twenty one 769 00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:56,440 Speaker 1: Savage is a rapper, to be clear. 770 00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:59,920 Speaker 4: He's a rapper. Fall without you by twenty one Savage. 771 00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:04,719 Speaker 4: This line right here is incredible. I'd rather have loyalty 772 00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:09,200 Speaker 4: than love, because love don't meet jack. I see love 773 00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:13,040 Speaker 4: as just a feeling. You know someone, you can You 774 00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:15,399 Speaker 4: can love someone and still stab them in their back. 775 00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:19,440 Speaker 4: It don't take much to love. You can love somebody 776 00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:24,359 Speaker 4: and just by being attached one see, loyalty is an action. 777 00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:28,279 Speaker 4: You can love or hate me and still have my back. 778 00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:36,680 Speaker 2: Facts honestly, pretty fire dude. Yeah yeah, yeah, that part 779 00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:38,880 Speaker 2: I didn't know was one. I didn't know twenty one 780 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:39,719 Speaker 2: was riding bars like that. 781 00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:43,320 Speaker 3: Honestly, he's he's grown a lot. He really has. He 782 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:44,359 Speaker 3: really has, he really has. 783 00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:48,360 Speaker 1: The only positive is that I've not drank any I 784 00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:51,080 Speaker 1: haven't drankn anything in about a week, and it's much 785 00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:53,719 Speaker 1: more difficult than I initially anticipated. But I'm going to 786 00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,759 Speaker 1: carry on and try to finish a month, which, you know, 787 00:36:57,160 --> 00:36:59,680 Speaker 1: maybe that's another sign that that this is good. 788 00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:01,399 Speaker 3: Yes, a good wake up, Paul. 789 00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:05,480 Speaker 1: Potentially I'll update if anything else changes, but it probably won't. 790 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:08,920 Speaker 1: And ladies and gentlemen, Yes. 791 00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:14,080 Speaker 2: We are closing out with some relevant comments, with one 792 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,840 Speaker 2: relevant comment that Op really really goes in on. 793 00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:19,080 Speaker 1: It really goes in on and breaks down. And now 794 00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:22,560 Speaker 1: this and uh context this was before this update we 795 00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:24,600 Speaker 1: just read. This comes from Long Number. 796 00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:27,480 Speaker 2: Also, wonder if we're going to get any context on like, 797 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,640 Speaker 2: because I feel like other people would have seen, oh, 798 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:34,080 Speaker 2: you know, was everything consensual? Did she have her full faculties? 799 00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:36,680 Speaker 2: What about the drugs? Yeah? Or what about the substance 800 00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:39,879 Speaker 2: that she ingested? Was there anything there? Like, I wonder 801 00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:40,600 Speaker 2: if we're going to get some. 802 00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:45,080 Speaker 3: Cond I feel like that there should be a like 803 00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:48,040 Speaker 3: a worry for her safety and checking out. 804 00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:51,000 Speaker 2: Maybe, I mean we'll feel like everyone's like crucifying her 805 00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:54,280 Speaker 2: off that and like, hey, like what she did there 806 00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:56,160 Speaker 2: was a lot of wrong. But you know, like that's 807 00:37:56,200 --> 00:38:00,120 Speaker 2: also a million sure there's literally okay. 808 00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:04,239 Speaker 1: Yeah, maybeah one hundred percent. So this is a quote 809 00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:07,640 Speaker 1: from OP earlier. Also, has anyone ever been through anything 810 00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:09,640 Speaker 1: like this? And how did you and your partner work 811 00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:13,279 Speaker 1: past it? Long Number a comment to response to that, Yeah, 812 00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:15,319 Speaker 1: I will share, but I don't think it will help 813 00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:17,640 Speaker 1: you get back together. I'm now in my mid thirties. 814 00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:19,960 Speaker 1: I've been with my wife since we were twenty. We 815 00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:22,279 Speaker 1: were long distance, off and on for the first years. 816 00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:26,200 Speaker 1: We never really set clear boundaries on what was and wasn't. 817 00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:28,719 Speaker 2: Over the line, which I don't know if this is 818 00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:30,160 Speaker 2: what we're going to get, but it kind of sounds 819 00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,560 Speaker 2: like a classic, like we didn't really like put any 820 00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:34,920 Speaker 2: labels on it, you know, so I just I mean, 821 00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:36,960 Speaker 2: if you don't put labels on it and don't discuss 822 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:38,840 Speaker 2: what your boundaries are, they're going to get broken. 823 00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:40,520 Speaker 3: This is true. 824 00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:43,399 Speaker 2: This is true, but it's it, you know what I'm 825 00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:46,560 Speaker 2: trying to say, Like yah, yeah, yeah, But I feel 826 00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:48,800 Speaker 2: like if you're dating for like a year, but so 827 00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:52,839 Speaker 2: many people have different definitions. You're so what it means 828 00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:54,440 Speaker 2: to be in a relationship, and you're so if you 829 00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:56,320 Speaker 2: don't define it and say what it means to be 830 00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:59,480 Speaker 2: in a relationship, then you're setting yourself up for failure. 831 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:00,920 Speaker 3: You're one hundred percent right. 832 00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:04,480 Speaker 1: Dancing with other people when we went out was never discussed, 833 00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:10,320 Speaker 1: although making out, slash anything approaching obviously was off limits. 834 00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:12,960 Speaker 1: I would wing man with friends and talk slash, dance 835 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,840 Speaker 1: with girls, but never let anything escalate. Felt like it 836 00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:19,839 Speaker 1: was harmless, fun, not harmless. One night two years into 837 00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:24,000 Speaker 1: the relationship two years two years wow, But they didn't discuss. 838 00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:28,040 Speaker 2: It waits, So it's like two years of undefined relationship. 839 00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:32,799 Speaker 2: That's a long time. I think anything over six months, 840 00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:34,920 Speaker 2: we don't know if it's anything. Over eight months of 841 00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:38,040 Speaker 2: undefined relationship is too long. Yeah, you got you gotta 842 00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:40,840 Speaker 2: figure at least put a figure out, at least have 843 00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:44,120 Speaker 2: a conversation about what isn't is off limits and how 844 00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:44,680 Speaker 2: do you guys feel. 845 00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:48,799 Speaker 3: And we don't know if they've defined it or not yet. 846 00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:51,360 Speaker 2: But one night, two years ago into the relationship, I 847 00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:53,759 Speaker 2: was very drunk and essentially got ditched at a party 848 00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:56,600 Speaker 2: where I knew no one, with no way home except 849 00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:58,960 Speaker 2: to wait for a ride that wouldn't be for over 850 00:39:59,040 --> 00:39:59,359 Speaker 2: an hour. 851 00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:03,399 Speaker 1: I thought, effitt, I'll meet people and dance. I ended 852 00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:06,399 Speaker 1: up dancing with a girl, which escalated into making out. 853 00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:08,800 Speaker 1: She was talking to me about getting me back to 854 00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:11,960 Speaker 1: her place. When we split to go to the bathroom. 855 00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:14,399 Speaker 1: I sobered up, realized what I was doing, and went 856 00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:17,680 Speaker 1: outside and waited for my ride. There were no witnesses, 857 00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:20,680 Speaker 1: no way for me ever to get caught. But I 858 00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:23,280 Speaker 1: felt guilty, and I knew if my roles were reversed, 859 00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:26,319 Speaker 1: I would want my girlfriend to tell me great way 860 00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:28,600 Speaker 1: to think about it. So I told her and said 861 00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:30,640 Speaker 1: it was realized that it was easy for dancing with 862 00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:33,120 Speaker 1: other people to escalate, so I'd cut it off. She 863 00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:35,960 Speaker 1: didn't like it, duh, but it wasn't even a fight. 864 00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:38,920 Speaker 1: She asked for reassurance it wouldn't happen again, and I 865 00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,560 Speaker 1: gave it. Then we said I love you. 866 00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:46,120 Speaker 3: And we did the dirty ded spicy sleep make up 867 00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:47,920 Speaker 3: sleep space. 868 00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:51,120 Speaker 1: Sp I say, we moved on and over a decade later, 869 00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:54,840 Speaker 1: I haven't done anything else that approached cheating factors that 870 00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:57,160 Speaker 1: I think worked in our favor for getting over this. 871 00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:01,040 Speaker 1: That you may be I didn't blame being fed up 872 00:41:01,239 --> 00:41:03,759 Speaker 1: and gave a concrete plan for never repeating this to 873 00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:08,239 Speaker 1: the mistake, which again we don't know if she had 874 00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:09,400 Speaker 1: something other than X. 875 00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:12,400 Speaker 2: To be fair that that is I think still again, 876 00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:15,480 Speaker 2: it's not going to go get drunken, and it shows 877 00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:19,640 Speaker 2: me a lack of awareness and a lack of I 878 00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:21,000 Speaker 2: don't know, self regulation. 879 00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:23,200 Speaker 1: It was clear there was no way she could have 880 00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:26,239 Speaker 1: found out without me telling her no friends around. We 881 00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:29,080 Speaker 1: were both rational people and knew we had discussed being 882 00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:31,839 Speaker 1: in love and getting together didn't mean no one else 883 00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:34,040 Speaker 1: could be attractive. I gave verbal and. 884 00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:38,160 Speaker 3: Physical reassurance and did not give space unless it was 885 00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:40,319 Speaker 3: asked for. What does that mean? 886 00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:42,839 Speaker 1: I gave verbal and physical reassurance and did not give 887 00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:45,080 Speaker 1: space unless it was asked for us. So I guess 888 00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:48,120 Speaker 1: he likes they They stayed kind of like intimate, not 889 00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:54,560 Speaker 1: just literally with his partner, like, hey, like I we 890 00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:55,480 Speaker 1: stayed like intimate? 891 00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:57,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, like, hey, I care about you, I love you. 892 00:41:57,719 --> 00:41:59,640 Speaker 2: This isn't gonna happen again. I'm not just gonna be like, hey, 893 00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:01,279 Speaker 2: how some space to figure it out? 894 00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:01,560 Speaker 3: Right? 895 00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:04,800 Speaker 1: Unless it was less? Okay, Yeah that makes sense. I 896 00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:06,920 Speaker 1: told her at a convenient time and did not make 897 00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:09,520 Speaker 1: her try four hours to hear my confession. I didn't 898 00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:12,480 Speaker 1: make her comfort me. We had already discussed being committed 899 00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:15,480 Speaker 1: to each other and planned and planned to spend our 900 00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:18,640 Speaker 1: lives together. There's no question about whether I actually loved 901 00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:20,960 Speaker 1: her or had a foot out the door. I was 902 00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:23,120 Speaker 1: able to tell her I loved her and mean it 903 00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:25,640 Speaker 1: all in all, I think this is something you could 904 00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:28,279 Speaker 1: get over if you were otherwise committed to this guy, 905 00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:30,480 Speaker 1: and if the story here is really the whole thing. 906 00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:33,920 Speaker 1: But bottom line, you couldn't tell him you loved. 907 00:42:33,719 --> 00:42:39,719 Speaker 3: Him and meant it. I think so facts, facts, dude. 908 00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:42,520 Speaker 2: What a that's the nail in the coffin. And also 909 00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:46,360 Speaker 2: what a great story. What a great story that I 910 00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:50,040 Speaker 2: feel like shows you can f up and this is 911 00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:51,200 Speaker 2: how you get through it. 912 00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:57,520 Speaker 1: Yes, you know, and to the credit of Sam's incredibly 913 00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:01,880 Speaker 1: solid golden rules, but there are situations where people are 914 00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:08,520 Speaker 1: together truly love, truly committed relationships four years, and they 915 00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:14,800 Speaker 1: lean on that foundation and actually being accountable for their actions, 916 00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:18,600 Speaker 1: actually trying, actually empathizing and actually loving each other, loving 917 00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:21,320 Speaker 1: each other, working, actually putting in the work, all the 918 00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:24,600 Speaker 1: momentum behind the relationship, and sometimes that momentum can carry 919 00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:26,640 Speaker 1: you over significant bumps in the road. 920 00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:33,160 Speaker 2: Yes, so for every four years, that's honestly, that sentence 921 00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:38,799 Speaker 2: you just said, that's really the same golden hypothesis, the theory. Yeah, 922 00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:42,960 Speaker 2: statement mission, But you know what, I have a theory 923 00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:46,200 Speaker 2: about what. I have a theory that there's a certain 924 00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:49,160 Speaker 2: percentage of you that have not clicked the subscribe button. 925 00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:51,879 Speaker 3: What are you doing? 926 00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:55,600 Speaker 2: Commit to us, say you love us by hitting subscribe. 927 00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:59,560 Speaker 2: Lean into the foundation of this relationship. It's been at 928 00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:02,600 Speaker 2: least few months at least has it been a year? 929 00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:04,160 Speaker 2: Has it been two years? 930 00:44:04,239 --> 00:44:07,400 Speaker 3: Guys? I know, I know, I know somebody's been watching that. 931 00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:09,120 Speaker 2: I know. Commitment is scary. 932 00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:11,319 Speaker 3: I know. But if you come on, if you ride 933 00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:13,799 Speaker 3: us right now, you. 934 00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:15,080 Speaker 2: Will be happy. 935 00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:16,360 Speaker 4: Just shut up and ride me. 936 00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:20,600 Speaker 2: Shut up and ride me. Please click subscribe, but I 937 00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:23,880 Speaker 2: also want to click on this next story. 938 00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:25,000 Speaker 3: Let's do it.