Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio
Speaker 1: and the Black Effect, And just like that, we're back
Speaker 1: on the air. Welcome to yet another episode of Carefully
Speaker 1: Reckless with your girl just hilarious. I got my sister
Speaker 1: in here again, shape say without yo yo with a
Speaker 1: holes at again like the holes won't always come to
Speaker 1: the podcast. Listen, listen, I'm gonna do storytime today, although
Speaker 1: my sister is here because this is a topic that
Speaker 1: will forever be debatable and discussed amongst us. So grab
Speaker 1: your tea, your halls, your hot tidy, your handy, whatever
Speaker 1: you want, because it's story time. Back in two thousand
Speaker 1: and fifteen, there were two girls, their sisters Claremont twins.
Speaker 1: Y'all know the mask, Shannon and Shied. They start on
Speaker 1: the reality series b g C Bad Girls Club right
Speaker 1: as y'all can see. They look nothing like they used
Speaker 1: to look. Now. They were beautiful girls to me, I swear,
Speaker 1: I mean, I you know, they were beautiful, brown skinned girls.
Speaker 1: And I always make fun of them, you know, with
Speaker 1: just with the mess and all of that ship, I mean,
Speaker 1: because you know who wouldn't. But I'm just saying they
Speaker 1: did not look the same. They had excellent bone structure.
Speaker 1: They nice bodies, you know, but something happened to those
Speaker 1: girls where they just felt like they weren't beautiful had
Speaker 1: to be because they look completely different. I'm talking about
Speaker 1: in two thousand and fifteen on Bad Girls Club. If
Speaker 1: that was the last time y'all ever saw them, and
Speaker 1: they walked down the street today, you would not know
Speaker 1: that that is Shannon and Chanelle Claremont. And that brings
Speaker 1: me to the topic of today, body dysmorphia disorder. And
Speaker 1: I never knew that there was a name for this.
Speaker 1: My sister just brought this to my attention today. Actually,
Speaker 1: you know that this is an actual disorder that people have,
Speaker 1: because I've always said, in my mind, not everybody who
Speaker 1: gets addicted to plastic surgery is doing it because they
Speaker 1: want to. They're doing it because they feel like they
Speaker 1: have to. They're doing it because there is something that
Speaker 1: they see that they don't like every time they look
Speaker 1: in the mirror. You know. That's why I wanted to
Speaker 1: cater to it, the disorder by doing an episode on it.
Speaker 1: And um my sister actually told me that she actually
Speaker 1: suffers with body dysmorphia disorder. I did not know that, Yes,
Speaker 1: So for those who don't know what body dysmorphia disorder is,
Speaker 1: I'm going to read this off of Google. It is
Speaker 1: a mental illness involving obsessive focus on a perceived flaw
Speaker 1: in appearance. That flaw can just be looking in the
Speaker 1: mirror and not seeing something that you like. So with
Speaker 1: me looking in the mirror, of course, you already know that.
Speaker 1: You know, I lost weight, and even before I gained
Speaker 1: a whole lot of weight after having three children, I
Speaker 1: looked at myself and looked at my stomach and just like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, this is not what I'm used to
Speaker 1: Because I had three kids back to back to back,
Speaker 1: didn't give my body any rest. So that last tessity
Speaker 1: is gone, and that is normal for most mothers if
Speaker 1: they didn't snap back the way some people did, Like
Speaker 1: you know, you snap bag. You know you look good still.
Speaker 1: But you know a lot of mothers go straight to surgery.
Speaker 1: Now nowadays, you know, they go straight to surgery. Like
Speaker 1: Cardi was even saying she didn't go and have light hope,
Speaker 1: but she was actually saying it right before she had
Speaker 1: this baby, that she's laying on that table as soon
Speaker 1: as she had his baby. So she can get back
Speaker 1: to work. A lot of people just don't do it
Speaker 1: the natural way anymore. They feel like, you know, there
Speaker 1: has to has to be a surgery right after you
Speaker 1: give birth so you can look good quicker, you know.
Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, it might be too son for her,
Speaker 1: That's what she was saying. It's too saon. But I
Speaker 1: know women who have done that went got right off
Speaker 1: the fucking table and went to another room and got
Speaker 1: on another table. Man, if you're doctors or whomever decide
Speaker 1: they want to do that, then that's up to them.
Speaker 1: Honestly me, I don't think that may be safe because
Speaker 1: you know, you just lost blood from having a child
Speaker 1: and all that stuff like that. If you are uncomfortable
Speaker 1: with how you look and you have body dysmorph your disorder,
Speaker 1: then that's what it drives you to do, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. Like, there are a lot of things
Speaker 1: that I I still I'm not happy with. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: had surgery, you know, I got I had a BBL,
Speaker 1: I had my boobs done, and there are still things
Speaker 1: that I still feel like, No, I don't have hips.
Speaker 1: I'm not as wide enough in my hip area as
Speaker 1: I would want to be. But am I gonna go
Speaker 1: back and lay on the table. No, I'm not, because
Speaker 1: I now know there are natural ways that you can
Speaker 1: make your hips spread, you know. And then also I
Speaker 1: don't go lay down on the table again, and then
Speaker 1: I get up in one of my hips is bigger
Speaker 1: than the other one. I ain't trying to do that.
Speaker 1: Ship like that happens a lot. I know your hips.
Speaker 1: You know why I said, what fucking is not the
Speaker 1: only way you can spread them, goddamn hip. So don't
Speaker 1: remember that. People used to say that's like you get
Speaker 1: hit from the back, that will make your but bigger.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I've been getting hit from the back for
Speaker 1: a long time and that did not make my butt
Speaker 1: bigger at all. Like, seriously, it don't matter how you
Speaker 1: or then I heard somebody say if you if you
Speaker 1: do reverse cow girl, that will widen your hips. Well, ship,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe I'm sucking the wrong man because
Speaker 1: I'm telling you I don't know. Maybe they're talking about
Speaker 1: a different reverse because I just sex never did anything
Speaker 1: to enhance my body. But they say sweet potatoes, um
Speaker 1: eating them sweet potatoes? Yeah, potatoes, rice, sweet potatoes especially
Speaker 1: that can that go straight to your hips? Yeah? Hiding carbs,
Speaker 1: which is still not healthy. But I do want my
Speaker 1: damn hips. You know what I'm saying. Other things I
Speaker 1: don't like. I don't like my feet. I can't stand it.
Speaker 1: I got bunyans from dad Yo. But am I gonna
Speaker 1: get a bunyan surgery? No? Because I need to walk
Speaker 1: on stage. Monica had one. Monica had bunion surgery. John Sally,
Speaker 1: Um he's a basketball player. Um, well he retired, Yeah,
Speaker 1: he had bunyan surgery. He said he was down for
Speaker 1: like six months. I don't got that kind of time
Speaker 1: that get does to rule you out on that stage.
Speaker 1: Shut roll into the stage, just desol And then I
Speaker 1: was gonna say then because you know, Ray hate me,
Speaker 1: bitch Rare and be like, yeah, how does it fair
Speaker 1: talking with that motherfucking tongue? Off topic, Let's get back
Speaker 1: on it, Okay, So what are some other things you
Speaker 1: don't like about yourself? Because I I really didn't know
Speaker 1: that you had suffered from this disorder. I really didn't.
Speaker 1: I know some other celebrities that have. But we're gonna
Speaker 1: get into that. What don't you like about yourself? I
Speaker 1: look in the mirror and I see that I have
Speaker 1: bags under my eyes. I literally go back and I
Speaker 1: look at my pictures from being a toddler. I looked
Speaker 1: at my kindergarten school pictures just like, damn, I had
Speaker 1: bags under my eyes then. So it's not like I'm
Speaker 1: tired or whatever like that, but it's just like I
Speaker 1: look at it and I'm just like, damn, I'm getting older.
Speaker 1: So it's just like the older I get, which I'm
Speaker 1: only thirty five and that's not really old. When I
Speaker 1: look at myself and I'm like, damn, I need some
Speaker 1: fellers under my eyes. So you know, I go and
Speaker 1: I start looking up feelers and stuff like that, and
Speaker 1: I'm just like, do I really want to do this
Speaker 1: to myself? Yes, because I feel like it will make
Speaker 1: me happy, But will it really make me happy? I
Speaker 1: don't know. I look in the mirror. I have full
Speaker 1: lips already your around with like thin mints. But then
Speaker 1: I'm just like, oh man, my lips aren't the same size.
Speaker 1: So it's just like, like, how your lips Your lips
Speaker 1: are a full, yeah, full lips, but I feel like
Speaker 1: your lips are equally the same size top and bottom lips.
Speaker 1: And then I look at my lips and I'm like, damn,
Speaker 1: should I get the top lip plumped up a little bit?
Speaker 1: And it's just like I look at the invasive fillers
Speaker 1: where they actually stick the needle in your lip, and
Speaker 1: then they also have like this hydro something kind of um,
Speaker 1: non invasive filler where they I don't know what they do,
Speaker 1: they just put something on your lip and like shock
Speaker 1: it to make it swollen. So you're really doing research
Speaker 1: on different things to perfect your face. And this is
Speaker 1: the thing. Do you think it has something to do
Speaker 1: with nowadays? Um knowing that just seeing how everybody else
Speaker 1: can fix it about them or because like you aren't
Speaker 1: even thinking about this ship until like more recently. Like
Speaker 1: I would say, what, like how long have you had
Speaker 1: this disorder? You feel like, what years? A couple of
Speaker 1: years at least, um, two years, like going on two years? Okay,
Speaker 1: So is it what you see? Because that can be
Speaker 1: a form of you being conditioned to think you have
Speaker 1: to make yourself look pretty to keep up with what
Speaker 1: you see. So I feel like, um, it may be
Speaker 1: a combination of just looking at the internet, you know,
Speaker 1: looking at looking at the magazines and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: It's just like you still be looking at magazines. Okay,
Speaker 1: but you don't have a bomb. You do that like
Speaker 1: you'll look at them. I will bomb every once in
Speaker 1: a while, Like if I see a magazine with Brandy
Speaker 1: on it, I'm buying it. That's just I'm just like, Brandy,
Speaker 1: let me get this. Or you know, the last magazine
Speaker 1: I actually purchased was UM with Meg and Marco and
Speaker 1: Harry on there. Okay, I kind of you know. I
Speaker 1: was just like, right, this is about so, and the
Speaker 1: line was moving fast. I was like, I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: have to buy. Yeah. So it's what you see in
Speaker 1: the magazines and online and ship like that, and I
Speaker 1: that's exactly what I feel like it is because Yo,
Speaker 1: you've been like in guy's eyes and and other That's
Speaker 1: why our bitches hated on you. When you were younger.
Speaker 1: You had the perfect body, you had full lips, you
Speaker 1: had like nobody. I don't know, I don't really feel
Speaker 1: like nobody was paying attention to the ship that you
Speaker 1: can consider a flaw right now, back in the day,
Speaker 1: because everybody had flaws. It's like nobody was really focusing
Speaker 1: on perfecting themselves. Everybody seeing each other just for who
Speaker 1: the funk they were, you know, what I'm saying, and
Speaker 1: and of course I'm not saying there were no bullying.
Speaker 1: There was no ugly people back in the day, but
Speaker 1: people weren't so conscious about being perfect. And I really
Speaker 1: feel like surgery is so much more affordable today than
Speaker 1: it used to be, and it's way more popular. You
Speaker 1: got installments you can make on your your surgeries and
Speaker 1: all that type of ship down payments and all you
Speaker 1: can actually pay off your titties, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: in installments and ship like that. So I felt like
Speaker 1: that's also people's drive. This disorder is like kind of
Speaker 1: fuel because you have options there. You have options now
Speaker 1: you can fix this. I've just seen something online where
Speaker 1: you can make yourself taller. There is a plastic surgery
Speaker 1: that they do something to your bones where they extend
Speaker 1: them where you can have YO. That was on Shade Room.
Speaker 1: It was on Shade Room. Um, I could not believe
Speaker 1: it when I first saw that was on site. Shout
Speaker 1: out the right Ali. I love her unblocked page, but
Speaker 1: I first seen it on site, I believe. But yes,
Speaker 1: that you can you can be made taller. So these
Speaker 1: short niggers really go crazy. I know. Tory lanes where
Speaker 1: you go crazy with that ship. You know it was
Speaker 1: that just yeah, it's just please get the platforms. But yeah,
Speaker 1: you can do you can get new kneecaps. You know,
Speaker 1: you can get bitches is getting new chins out here.
Speaker 1: That's why I don't know why Natalie didn't do that yet.
Speaker 1: That's another thing I was looking. So they have um
Speaker 1: I've been looking at about my nose because I don't
Speaker 1: like how my nose hooks at the end. They have
Speaker 1: another procedure where you don't have to get cut. It's
Speaker 1: some kind of like like some kind of like rod
Speaker 1: or string or something like that, and they put it
Speaker 1: in your nose and they lifted, they lifted and it's
Speaker 1: just literally like I think it's just done under local anesthetics.
Speaker 1: It's not you got you ain't gotta get your your
Speaker 1: ship all cut up. Because now they're finding new ways,
Speaker 1: like you know, like surgery. This ship works just like technology.
Speaker 1: I see, like you see how we used to have iPods.
Speaker 1: Now there's no iPads. It's just Apple music on your phone.
Speaker 1: Like it evolves with time. So like now they have
Speaker 1: non invasive surgery and ship like that, Like everything is
Speaker 1: evolving pretty soon You're just going to go in the machine,
Speaker 1: don't you know the ts A machine where you go
Speaker 1: standing and your surgery. They're going turn around and you're
Speaker 1: gonna be a new person, will be a new person.
Speaker 1: You can be able to get out um. Having this
Speaker 1: disorder has cost me a lot of money, A lot
Speaker 1: of money. I actually was supposed to you have surgery,
Speaker 1: yeah bad in August. Right now, I'm supposed to be
Speaker 1: healing from my mommy makeover. But I spent damn there
Speaker 1: ten thousand dollars for this plastic surgery company. Can I
Speaker 1: mentioned that absolutely, I don't go there. So they called
Speaker 1: me two weeks before my surgery and they canceled my
Speaker 1: surgery and they told me I can't get a refund.
Speaker 1: I spent damn there ten thousand dollars, and I kind
Speaker 1: of fault myself. I tried not to fault myself because
Speaker 1: I'm just like, if I didn't have this disorder, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't have never been so quick to kick out the
Speaker 1: money and to be paying, you know, paying on this
Speaker 1: because I feel like I have to look a certain way,
Speaker 1: and I have my friends they tell me all the time,
Speaker 1: We're like, you know, are you really going to be
Speaker 1: happy if its done, and I'm just like probably not because,
Speaker 1: like I said, I've been looking at so like my news.
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to get my ship cut in half
Speaker 1: like paid LaBelle dead like I just wanted diamn you
Speaker 1: straight put out there. I mean, you know she didn't. Okay,
Speaker 1: go with school shitty. We love you though you are
Speaker 1: the queen and ship you you ain't like it. You
Speaker 1: got to fexts what it is like you know, I'm
Speaker 1: sitting there talking about getting my ship lifted with strings
Speaker 1: like what you say? Yeah, I ain't get my ship
Speaker 1: cutting half like Patty, but um yeah, so so for
Speaker 1: everybody out there who didn't know, yeah, Patty, ship is
Speaker 1: cutting half. So that's something you can say to it
Speaker 1: in the meet and Greek, I ain't know that you
Speaker 1: had ship cutting half. She'ld be like what but go ahead,
Speaker 1: yeah a little advers So I don't think that that
Speaker 1: I'll be happy. I really don't know, because I feel
Speaker 1: like no matter how I look at myself in the mirror,
Speaker 1: I'm always going to find something wrong. Like I don't
Speaker 1: like the peak. I have a peak. I have a
Speaker 1: peak too, but it's just like it's it's little things
Speaker 1: and it's just like you're about to get peak surgery.
Speaker 1: I don't know hairline food with surgery to bring the
Speaker 1: rest of it up because the pick will make you
Speaker 1: look bald. Here this fun, yeah, the peak. You know,
Speaker 1: like I cut my peek off before and that should
Speaker 1: look dumb as fun when you dumbs a bit, the
Speaker 1: ponytails look crazy, didn't they when I was looking dum
Speaker 1: But you know it's it's really it's really saying. I
Speaker 1: feel like these plastic surgery companies harp on people like myself,
Speaker 1: seeing the desperation and just knowing like, oh, you know,
Speaker 1: we could we could possibly get over when this person
Speaker 1: and I know I'm not the only one that they've got,
Speaker 1: did they have explained to you? Why they didn't? What
Speaker 1: did they say? So? Um, they called and they said
Speaker 1: that I have history of c v A. C v
Speaker 1: A can also be noticed as a stroke, but they're
Speaker 1: two different things. C v A stands for cerebral vascular accident,
Speaker 1: but stroke is stroke and cv it's c v A.
Speaker 1: But if they're related, they go handing in. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel like if if they're going to put something,
Speaker 1: they need to put stroke slash c v A, just
Speaker 1: like lupus and cancer, you know what I'm saying. They
Speaker 1: have their own you know, they're like their own separate
Speaker 1: entities of diseases, but they are still hand in hand,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So like I feel like,
Speaker 1: you know, lupus is a type of cancer, although you
Speaker 1: know it's still identified as just lupus, but you had
Speaker 1: a stroke. If you love me, you'll listen to this
Speaker 1: commercial and then we'll be right back. So in the
Speaker 1: beginning they noticed it as a stroke. After I went
Speaker 1: to UM, the neurologists and they did testing stuff like that,
Speaker 1: and they said, okay, we can't per se classify this
Speaker 1: as a stroke, so we're going to classify it as
Speaker 1: c v A. So they changed it from stroke to
Speaker 1: c v A v A. So all my all my paperwork,
Speaker 1: it doesn't say stroke, it says c v A. So
Speaker 1: what what me? Aesthetics told me? They said, oh, you know,
Speaker 1: you can get the surgery, but you just can't get
Speaker 1: it done here because we're clinic based. Our doctors don't
Speaker 1: feel comfortable performing it on you. So I'm just like, okay,
Speaker 1: so now I ain't gonna lie. My anxiety has been high,
Speaker 1: it's been bothering the hell out of me because it's
Speaker 1: just like, I want my money, and it's just like
Speaker 1: and you're supposed to get your money back, and it's
Speaker 1: just like I want my money, so goals, so I
Speaker 1: get the ship fixed that I don't like about myself.
Speaker 1: So it's not even just I just want my money
Speaker 1: back and I'm gonna sit on it. No, I'm definitely
Speaker 1: going to go somewhere else because you had from the jump,
Speaker 1: like that's when you even gave them your money. That's
Speaker 1: why you gave them me money. I do understand. So basically, bitch,
Speaker 1: you got the c V A ship. That's why they
Speaker 1: didn't want to perform it. Yeah, so what they did
Speaker 1: wrong was not giving your money back because you are
Speaker 1: entitled to a refund because they canceled you. Okay, so
Speaker 1: yeah me esthetics, Yeah, yeah, you're gonna have some big
Speaker 1: lawsuits on your motherfucking hands because carefully reckless reaches all.
Speaker 1: It reaches a lot of people. Yes, And I don't
Speaker 1: you know, I got lawyers listening to my ship. I
Speaker 1: got a lot of people listening to my ship. Y'all
Speaker 1: be getting my sister bad hut ten thousand. But do
Speaker 1: you feel that you will go somewhere else and you
Speaker 1: will have the same fucking problem. Not non refund I'm
Speaker 1: talking about where they can't do it because my doctor
Speaker 1: medically cleared me to have the because your c v
Speaker 1: A a k A you know stroke what they told
Speaker 1: you was a stroke before was back in so my doctor.
Speaker 1: So I even said to me, and I'm just like, hey,
Speaker 1: my doctor cleared me. And they're just like, we see
Speaker 1: that the doctor cleared you because I had I had
Speaker 1: to um, I had to get the medical clearance forms
Speaker 1: filled out by doctor. So my doctor said it's okay
Speaker 1: for you to do this. I haven't had any any
Speaker 1: issues since but to a plastic surgey. And you know
Speaker 1: who's not all about the money, but in this case,
Speaker 1: I don't know because the money, Yeah, but they would
Speaker 1: have still just did this. Ship you feel me like,
Speaker 1: I guess they're more about your They're about your health
Speaker 1: and their money as well. Not about the health. They
Speaker 1: just about not wanting a death on their behad. So
Speaker 1: it's not it's not even about me. It's just they
Speaker 1: don't want their name, their reputation. Yeah, well people dying anyway, Yeah, Well,
Speaker 1: why then are you gonna go down there miss c
Speaker 1: v A, because I'm not happy with my I was depressed.
Speaker 1: I'm deppressed, and then that right there goes for the body,
Speaker 1: this mophea. It's a disorder in my mind. I'm sitting
Speaker 1: there like, oh, I don't care. I could possibly die
Speaker 1: on this table, but I don't care. What if I
Speaker 1: don't die, I can have the body that I want,
Speaker 1: my dreams or what I want. Ye, you're right, that's
Speaker 1: the disorder, because it's really a disorder just knowing that
Speaker 1: I could possibly die and don't even give a funk.
Speaker 1: It's really a mental illness, right. So it's like I'm
Speaker 1: putting my life on the line for something that I
Speaker 1: could be sitting there winning my casket right like oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: she was snatched up in that casket, right, and you're
Speaker 1: not even here right. No, I'm gonna be on the
Speaker 1: top like, yeah girl, you look good, caast, get show it,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna be having all angels, gonna be walking
Speaker 1: bare and be like you did that because you're never
Speaker 1: going You're going. You're not gonna go up there with
Speaker 1: that body gog going, You're gonna be up and having
Speaker 1: I'm fucking done, bitch, Moving on all right, so listen,
Speaker 1: I feel like there are a lot of people that
Speaker 1: you can look at in the media, famous people that
Speaker 1: we see every day that has body dys morphia disorder,
Speaker 1: like Little Kim. Nobody can possibly possibly think that she
Speaker 1: wanted to look like that, that she wanted to go
Speaker 1: through all those changes and look like that Black China.
Speaker 1: Nobody can actually really sit here and say, not even her,
Speaker 1: you know, but that she is okay with looking the
Speaker 1: way that she was look and she's looking better and
Speaker 1: better now, but all the ship that she had to
Speaker 1: go through, like Chloe car Dashing, nobody is gonna sit
Speaker 1: here and tell me that this girl looks in the
Speaker 1: mirror without makeup and be like, this is my goal,
Speaker 1: this is what I wanted to look like. This is
Speaker 1: what I want to know. It's a disorder. You'll find
Speaker 1: something wrong with yourself just because, like like you just said,
Speaker 1: I never even heard you complain about your lips. Now
Speaker 1: you feel like your lips ain't right, that the bags
Speaker 1: under your eyes, Like now you know all your peak, bitch,
Speaker 1: all the ship that you grew up with, and you
Speaker 1: were just as beautiful as can be. Like you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying it's like, but you've developed this disorder
Speaker 1: in the last two years, I don't even think it's
Speaker 1: a disorder, and we can go get diagnosed together, and
Speaker 1: I think it's a condition because of what we're seeing,
Speaker 1: you know. So I'm a touch on something else. Like
Speaker 1: I feel like my entire life since I you know,
Speaker 1: since I've started to sprout with just having a body
Speaker 1: and anything, since being a teenager, I feel like I
Speaker 1: have always been looked at it for my body. I
Speaker 1: felt like guys have only come at me and just
Speaker 1: talked to me and just looked at me for my body, small, waists, big,
Speaker 1: just like I feel like that was my way of
Speaker 1: gaining or getting anybody's attention. And then I look at
Speaker 1: myself and I'm like, damn, it's falling apart. But that's
Speaker 1: what happens when you get older and you have children.
Speaker 1: But it's just like I feel like, damn, like I
Speaker 1: need to get that old thing back because maybe that's
Speaker 1: why I don't have anybody, or that's why I'm single,
Speaker 1: or I felt like, you know, you know, people are
Speaker 1: looking at me like she is you know, she you know,
Speaker 1: she got a poopa or you know, like I feel
Speaker 1: like like I got high Waist James on today and
Speaker 1: it's just like this ship is sitting in my leg
Speaker 1: like looking at you, not the foo is looking at me. Yo,
Speaker 1: I'm fucking done with you. I've become a Fannie Peck junkie. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just just just to hide that. And it's just like
Speaker 1: I'm not I am not going to be happy with
Speaker 1: myself until I get it cut off. And then, like
Speaker 1: I said, I don't know how far I'm going to go.
Speaker 1: I don't want to When I look at the Claremont
Speaker 1: Twins when I look at little Kim, I don't want
Speaker 1: to look like them. But it's just like you still
Speaker 1: want to fix things. Yeah, I want to fix things,
Speaker 1: but I don't know how far I will go. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Like one of my home girls just like you know,
Speaker 1: she said to me, she was like, you give me
Speaker 1: a little Kim vibes like I don't like it. She's like,
Speaker 1: are you gonna be happy with yourself after you actually
Speaker 1: get this procedure done. I'm just like, I'm like, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I really don't know. I was just like
Speaker 1: I want to be happy, but am I really going
Speaker 1: to be happy? And and I feel like I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm I feel like I'm not okay. So I
Speaker 1: feel like God works in mysterious ways, and I feel
Speaker 1: like that's why you haven't gotten your money back yet.
Speaker 1: And honestly, I don't feel like you're not gonna ever
Speaker 1: get it back. I definitely feel like it's not going
Speaker 1: to come back unless I se no. But yeah, and
Speaker 1: and it's fine whether you still or not. I feel
Speaker 1: like you're gonna get it back. It's just that right
Speaker 1: now you're not in the head space to do that.
Speaker 1: I feel like you needed to get over some things
Speaker 1: before you get it back and just go give it
Speaker 1: to another doctor for them to tell you the same thing,
Speaker 1: or for them to do it. And then you get
Speaker 1: up and you not even like the ship that they did.
Speaker 1: I know this, but explain to the listeners why you
Speaker 1: won't get in the gym. Why can't you just lose
Speaker 1: your stomach, because that's all you fucking has a stomach.
Speaker 1: So and then and people people on the outside looking
Speaker 1: at and people see me on social media and they're like,
Speaker 1: you don't need it, you don't need it. You know,
Speaker 1: you're being lazy, you trying to take the easier There
Speaker 1: are a waste trainers gems like, yeah, what what is
Speaker 1: your response to that? So with that, I tell people
Speaker 1: all the time, you don't see what's under my clothes.
Speaker 1: What's under my clothes is loose skin. My elasticity is
Speaker 1: one gone. It's at least like seven pounds of skin
Speaker 1: that I literally tuck inside of my clothes. I wear
Speaker 1: a lot of leggings and stuff like that with the
Speaker 1: control top or the band that makes um that basically
Speaker 1: smooth use it out and makes it you know it.
Speaker 1: It gives off a flatter appearance or more flattering appearance,
Speaker 1: you know, where people look at me and like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, what are you getting there for? You're like, look,
Speaker 1: you don't know what's on the head until I show somebody.
Speaker 1: And then when I show people, they're like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I didn't know that was onto that. Yeah, because it's
Speaker 1: not for you to know that it's right. But I
Speaker 1: just want to wear two piece. I want to wear
Speaker 1: a bikini and I want I don't want my skin
Speaker 1: hanging over. I don't want to have to talk my
Speaker 1: skin inside of a bikini. I just want to wear
Speaker 1: two piece. That's that's my ultimate goal. I literally I purchased.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you, um, if you ever heard
Speaker 1: of someone say, you know, they buy something knowing that
Speaker 1: they can't fit it, and they will say, like this
Speaker 1: is my goal outfit or something like that. Yeah, to
Speaker 1: be able to fit this. I literally I bought a bikini.
Speaker 1: It's a Baltimore Ravens bikini. I'm a Ravens fan. Of
Speaker 1: course you're hater. And I bought this bikini two years
Speaker 1: ago because I said, I'm gonna I'm gonna get in
Speaker 1: this one day. I'm gonna get in this. I actually
Speaker 1: can fit it. But then it's just the skin is
Speaker 1: in the way. It's in the way, and I have
Speaker 1: it and it's still my gold bikini. This is what
Speaker 1: I want to I just wanna I just want to
Speaker 1: look right in it. I don't like how my arms hang. Um,
Speaker 1: I can easily go in the gym. I can work
Speaker 1: that out, you know. I've had trainers tell me these
Speaker 1: different exercises that I can do to work that out.
Speaker 1: But then at the end of it all, I'm just
Speaker 1: like CARDI do I really want to work it out.
Speaker 1: I need to be was ain't gonna money to be
Speaker 1: getting my chick cut off. But people have surgeries where
Speaker 1: they actually get the bottom of their arm, the hanky part,
Speaker 1: they get it cut off. They literally have cosmetic procedures
Speaker 1: for any and everything, and I feel like I kind
Speaker 1: of feel like it's sucked up in a way because
Speaker 1: like these surgeons are really like taking people's money, just
Speaker 1: capitalizing off of your insecurities, yep, off of people probably
Speaker 1: having the same thing this b D D. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm all for getting your money, Like, go ahead and
Speaker 1: get your money, do your thing, but it's just like
Speaker 1: at the same time, like damn, like these the funders
Speaker 1: are really out here getting rich off of people hating
Speaker 1: themselves and hating the way that they look when they
Speaker 1: look in the mirror. I don't I don't like myself
Speaker 1: when I look at the mirror. I literally can be
Speaker 1: going to the market and I will change clothes about
Speaker 1: three times just to go to the day market. And
Speaker 1: I'm literally just going to the market because I don't
Speaker 1: like how my body looks in something. And to me,
Speaker 1: that goes to when they say just because they make
Speaker 1: any your size doesn't mean that you need to Because
Speaker 1: I see ship on people and I'm like, why the
Speaker 1: fuck would that? Do you have that one? And then
Speaker 1: I look at myself, and I'm just like, damn, I
Speaker 1: wonder if anybody else is looking at me, like, why
Speaker 1: the funk was she wear it? But an actuality? I
Speaker 1: don't even be looking bad, but in my mind, in
Speaker 1: my mind, I'm just like, this has to change. I
Speaker 1: can't look like this. I can't live like this. The
Speaker 1: body dysmorphia disorders so bad with me. I literally have
Speaker 1: dreams about plastic surgery sometimes. And you know the craziest
Speaker 1: thing about that. People will look at my sister and
Speaker 1: be like, that's the body I want. Somebody will show
Speaker 1: your picture to a doctor and be like, that's the
Speaker 1: body I want. I'm telling you because you still have
Speaker 1: these small ways and you still have your hips, your
Speaker 1: ass like people have asked her for years, did she
Speaker 1: get her ass done? And like just certain ship like
Speaker 1: people ask you, you know what I'm saying, And you've
Speaker 1: never had one look of surgery like ever, and people ask,
Speaker 1: but that is the body that people are trying to
Speaker 1: that the bitches pay for that, Like you got thick thighs,
Speaker 1: thick legs all I want. It's thick legs, Like that's
Speaker 1: all I want. And then you have people with thick
Speaker 1: legs that all they want is this. So it's like
Speaker 1: what you see is not what everybody else see. But
Speaker 1: it don't matter what everybody see. It matters about how
Speaker 1: you feel about yourself. I just really really want you
Speaker 1: to get some help with that. I did not know
Speaker 1: that you had b d D. I didn't even know
Speaker 1: that it was a disorder. You know, I learned something
Speaker 1: new every day psychiatrist talk to me about it. It's
Speaker 1: not a cure for it, medication, it's just it's not
Speaker 1: It's just it's surgery. Yeah, it's I mean, but like
Speaker 1: like we touched on before, bill surgery. Actually, what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: excessive surgery is like cure excessive. It's not like never
Speaker 1: I mean, never gonna be happy, but that is what
Speaker 1: y'all feel like y'all have to do. So that would be,
Speaker 1: in hindsight, the cure, you know what I'm saying. But
Speaker 1: you'll just be crying yourself forever in your mind, that's
Speaker 1: just what that is, and be sitting there looking crazy
Speaker 1: at the end of it all exactly even with you
Speaker 1: knowing that, you still I feel like you need it.
Speaker 1: I still feel like I needed like just knowing even
Speaker 1: just looking at these celebrities looking at the Claremont Twins
Speaker 1: looking at a little cam I still I'm looking at
Speaker 1: them like, oh they look crazy ship, Like oh man,
Speaker 1: they were really beautiful. And then I'm just like, damn,
Speaker 1: I'm in the same boat. It's like I had the
Speaker 1: same mentality. I'm just like in my mind like, damn,
Speaker 1: I don't want to I don't want to look like them,
Speaker 1: but I just wanna be a better me. And to
Speaker 1: other people, it's nothing wrong with me. But to you,
Speaker 1: it don't matter. Yeah, it don't matter what nobody else thinks,
Speaker 1: because that's all you're gonna see at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, when you look throughout the day, at the
Speaker 1: top of the day, whatever, when you look in the mirror.
Speaker 1: Another thing before we go, I want to say, it
Speaker 1: is a disorder, and I know that it is real
Speaker 1: because these girls and these guys we're not guys are
Speaker 1: not exempt from this ship. Guys are getting surgery too.
Speaker 1: And the thing is they get all the surgery done,
Speaker 1: all the surgery done for an image, right and in
Speaker 1: their mind, you know, because they want to look better
Speaker 1: and look pretty and everything, but they also want to
Speaker 1: keep up with what they see as well. They get
Speaker 1: all this ship done, and then they do that just
Speaker 1: to take pictures and still edit the funk out of
Speaker 1: their pictures. That is a disorder for sure. Perfect makeup,
Speaker 1: perfect body. Now you made up, you're done up, and
Speaker 1: you still edit the ship out of your pictures. You
Speaker 1: see a piece of fat, got a photo shoppy. If
Speaker 1: I knew how to photoshop, I wouldn't have Bunnings in
Speaker 1: no picture. If you teach me, I'll do that. But
Speaker 1: the thing is, you know what I'm saying, like, yoh,
Speaker 1: my god, yo, buddy is in the coins that got
Speaker 1: to go. But I ain't laying down to get surgery.
Speaker 1: I need to walk. I need to walk in like
Speaker 1: im talking. And look on that note, I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: get my sisters some help as much as I can.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try to get out my fucking ten thousand
Speaker 1: dollars back because me excidics, We're coming for you, bitch.
Speaker 1: And like I don't like that, I don't like that ship.
Speaker 1: Of course, I would rather them take her money to
Speaker 1: do I surgery and she fucking die. But I would
Speaker 1: rather also see her get her hard earned sucking money back, honestly,
Speaker 1: And I love you, I love you, and it's crazy.
Speaker 1: I'm like a little saddened by the fact that I
Speaker 1: know that you have that ship now or whatever. But listen,
Speaker 1: it's good to keep encouraging your family, your friends. Although
Speaker 1: it may go on one and out the other, they
Speaker 1: would appreciate it. You don't know what they were hear
Speaker 1: and what will stick in their minds. So just continue
Speaker 1: to love on those who you feel have these issues.
Speaker 1: Like my sister's friend. She's telling them, I don't like
Speaker 1: I don't like the head is talking ship, I don't
Speaker 1: like the hair that you have this issue and ship
Speaker 1: like that. Keep talking to them like that. You never know.
Speaker 1: One day they may wake up from this fucking bad dream,
Speaker 1: come up out of this disorder or this condition that
Speaker 1: they have, and just like that, we're gonna end up.
Speaker 1: Make sure you tune in next week, so carefully reckless
Speaker 1: and then my deepest Pam voice peace, peace out yall,
Speaker 1: and pray for those who have this disorder. Please Carefully
Speaker 1: Reckless is a production of I Heart Radio and The
Speaker 1: Black Effect. For more podcasts from My Heart Radio, visit
Speaker 1: the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you
Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows.