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Speaker 1: I tell her what he has told me thus far,
Speaker 1: and she says there's a lot more. He's actually said
Speaker 1: that he's done so much that if you find out everything,
Speaker 1: there's no way you guys will be able to stay together.
Speaker 2: I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal, Season four, episode five.
Speaker 2: Fantasy Land. Lieutenant Joel Kern spent years building a successful
Speaker 2: career with the Colorado Springs Police Department, but in early
Speaker 2: twenty twenty two, it all unraveled after a woman came
Speaker 2: forward claiming she had sex with him in his patrol car.
Speaker 2: But started as one allegation quickly ignited a chain reaction,
Speaker 2: exposing the secret life Kern kept hidden for years. In
Speaker 2: the last episode of Betrayal, we share recordings of the
Speaker 2: cspd's internal affairs investigation into Joel Kern's police misconduct. After
Speaker 2: signing an agreement to tell the truth in his interview,
Speaker 2: Joel continued to lie until investigators presented him with irrefutable evidence.
Speaker 2: Several weeks later, Joel's commander recommended him for termination.
Speaker 3: Quite frankly, the legislative intent is very clear that we
Speaker 3: cannot allow peace officers remain employed when they've lied during
Speaker 3: an ia investigation. I have no option but to recommend
Speaker 3: your termination.
Speaker 2: Termination would risk Joel's entire career. It would be more
Speaker 2: difficult for him to get a job as a police officer. Ever, again,
Speaker 2: listening to the interviews in the last episode, it all
Speaker 2: sounded straightforward, open and shut. But that's not how it
Speaker 2: all shook out. Joel wasn't fired, and we'll explore what
Speaker 2: actually happened and why over the next few episodes. Following
Speaker 2: that meeting, Joel seemed to think that there was still
Speaker 2: a chance he could save his career. He had one
Speaker 2: more card to play.
Speaker 1: Here's Caroline, he said, there's a possibility. I could save
Speaker 1: my job and go to an impatient treatment program that's
Speaker 1: specific for first responders and Laguna Beach.
Speaker 2: Unbeknownst to Caroline, Joel had already started making arrangements. While
Speaker 2: his internal affairs investigation was underway. He went to a psychiatrist.
Speaker 2: He told her he needed help.
Speaker 1: The psychiatrist said he was under such duress that he
Speaker 1: really needed to go to endpatient treatment almost immediately, and
Speaker 1: according to his self report to me and the kids,
Speaker 1: he was diagnosed with PTSD and that was his cause
Speaker 1: and reason for being sent to endpatient rehab.
Speaker 2: Laguna Beach is in southern California, about ninety minutes south
Speaker 2: of Los Angeles. When you first see the homepage of
Speaker 2: the rehabilitation facility, you're greeted by stunning blue green water
Speaker 2: stretching against golden sand. It looks luxurious, and of course
Speaker 2: it's not cheap. But Joel and Caroline wouldn't pay a dime.
Speaker 1: He said. The department's going to approve it. They have
Speaker 1: a connection with them. They'll make arrangements for me to
Speaker 1: go there. It will be paid for, and so I said,
Speaker 1: but your Penning termination.
Speaker 2: His termination wasn't official just yet he was in limbo
Speaker 2: awaiting the meeting where the disciplinary ruling would be finalized,
Speaker 2: so there was still time for one last shot. If
Speaker 2: he took medical and sickly, he could delay the disciplinary process.
Speaker 2: If he could show the department he could change, maybe
Speaker 2: he could still keep his job.
Speaker 1: Joel thought if he admitted he had a problem and
Speaker 1: he really committed to treatment, he could turn things around.
Speaker 1: He absolutely needed to go to rehab to address not
Speaker 1: only his sex addiction, but because he wanted to make
Speaker 1: sure that he was doing everything he could to show
Speaker 1: the department that he was trying to be a healthy
Speaker 1: person to continue his employment.
Speaker 2: He also told Caroline that it was a symptom of
Speaker 2: a larger issue.
Speaker 4: He began to say that he struggled over the past
Speaker 4: handful of years with just feeling as though he had
Speaker 4: a sex addiction.
Speaker 2: Joel was in repair mode to save his job and
Speaker 2: his marriage. He told Caroline he'd fully commit to the
Speaker 2: treatment program, that he'd address his mistakes head on. As
Speaker 2: furious as Caroline was, it looked like Joel was finally
Speaker 2: taking accountability. Maybe being recommended for termination was the wake
Speaker 2: up call he needed. During this time, Joel's wore he
Speaker 2: was committed to change. He kept repeating the same mantra, I.
Speaker 1: Want to get better. I need to go do this,
Speaker 1: I want to get better. I softened a little bit,
Speaker 1: and when I began to soften, I started having these
Speaker 1: feelings of will he get better? Could he get better?
Speaker 1: What does this look like?
Speaker 2: Here's Caroline's daughter, Nicole.
Speaker 5: There was this period where my mom was thinking, like,
Speaker 5: maybe he'll get better, and then they could possibly start
Speaker 5: from Scarrach and start dating again.
Speaker 2: There were moments when that possibility felt within reach. Caroline
Speaker 2: never wanted to lose her family, and Joel was saying
Speaker 2: all the right things, but Nicole was having her own
Speaker 2: reckoning about her relationship with her father. Once she understood
Speaker 2: the depth of her father's betrayal, she reflected on who
Speaker 2: he had been during her childhood. She started calling him
Speaker 2: one on one, sometimes demanding answers, other times simply voicing
Speaker 2: her anger.
Speaker 5: During one of our phone calls, I said something alluding
Speaker 5: to the fact that he never really paid attention to
Speaker 5: any of us. He never really did things to show
Speaker 5: appreciation for us.
Speaker 2: He'd always been less present, put in less effort than Caroline.
Speaker 2: The family had always talked it up to his demanding job. Now,
Speaker 2: his daughter was left wondering maybe that's just who he is,
Speaker 2: Maybe her dad just didn't care.
Speaker 5: But one of the last few times that I saw
Speaker 5: him before he went to rehab, he came to the
Speaker 5: house with my mom's coffee order. The way he was
Speaker 5: at that time, he seemed remorseful.
Speaker 2: And that remorse gave Caroline the tiniest bit of hope.
Speaker 2: As Joel prepared to go to rehab, she offered him
Speaker 2: some grace.
Speaker 1: After a lot of conversation, he and I agreed that
Speaker 1: he could stay at our home in the guest bedroom
Speaker 1: before he left for rehab.
Speaker 2: Joel said he would come back from rehab a better man,
Speaker 2: that he was getting help so he could salvage the family.
Speaker 2: There was a big piece of Caroline and Nicole that
Speaker 2: wanted to believe it. But the night before he left
Speaker 2: for California, Nicole started to question was her dad actually
Speaker 2: planning to come back.
Speaker 5: He led me downstairs, showed me how to resep go
Speaker 5: Wi Fi. He showed me like where our air filters are,
Speaker 5: and then how to turn on and off the sprinkler
Speaker 5: system for our house. It was just a bunch of
Speaker 5: little things, and I remember thinking like, well, I guess
Speaker 5: this is it. He's never going to come back to
Speaker 5: the house because he was showing his seventeen year old
Speaker 5: daughter had to change out the air filter.
Speaker 2: There were a lot of conflicting feelings. Whenever Caroline was
Speaker 2: kind to Joel, Nicole felt protective. One of his last
Speaker 2: nights in the house, Caroline made Joel dinner.
Speaker 5: Even after all what he did. Our mom made him tacos,
Speaker 5: and I remember feeling so angry because I was like,
Speaker 5: why are we even letting him stay in the first place.
Speaker 5: If he doesn't want to show he wants to be
Speaker 5: with us, just let him figure it out on his own.
Speaker 5: I was just so frustrated at the situation at hand,
Speaker 5: him going to rehab, him doing this to our family,
Speaker 5: yet my mom is still trying to be a wife.
Speaker 6: I guess.
Speaker 2: It was a hard habit to break. Caroline's default mode
Speaker 2: was to care for her family, even Joel, and he
Speaker 2: was trying, or at least they thought he was.
Speaker 1: I will admit we at one point had talked about
Speaker 1: if he could show that he was truly someone who
Speaker 1: struggled with addiction and was trying to engage in healthy behaviors,
Speaker 1: that at some point we could be friends, then attempt
Speaker 1: to date and start all over again. We have a
Speaker 1: dry erase board in our kitchen that we would leave
Speaker 1: notes for the kids, or reminders or a grocery list,
Speaker 1: you know, whatever that may look like. The night before
Speaker 1: he left, he wrote a note to my daughter and
Speaker 1: I that said I love you guys, I will and
Speaker 1: underlined will get better. And I went to erase it,
Speaker 1: and my daughter asked to keep it up for a while,
Speaker 1: and then she made the decision of when it would
Speaker 1: get erased.
Speaker 2: That was the last message they would receive from Joel
Speaker 2: for a while. He was required to give up his
Speaker 2: phone during the first few weeks at rehab.
Speaker 1: After two weeks at the facility, Joel was given his
Speaker 1: phone back and he sends a text saying just how
Speaker 1: incredible the facility is and he thinks it's going to
Speaker 1: be beneficial to him that he wanted to be vulnerable
Speaker 1: with me and the kids.
Speaker 2: He described to Caroline how his behavior evolved, all of
Speaker 2: it by text. We asked a voice actor to read
Speaker 2: his messages.
Speaker 7: I was playing an online game in two thousand and
Speaker 7: five or six where people used an app called pal
Speaker 7: Ringo to communicate about game strategy for several months. I
Speaker 7: used it for that, and then out of curiosity, I
Speaker 7: searched sexual terms and all these groups or chat rooms
Speaker 7: popped up. People would post porn and homemade porn on them,
Speaker 7: and that started my addiction that progressed into chatting with
Speaker 7: females on there and sexting.
Speaker 2: Joel said that led him to seek out other apps
Speaker 2: like vet Life, the Cank and fetish Sight that he'd
Speaker 2: been caught using at work.
Speaker 7: I downloaded the app and found all kinds of porn
Speaker 7: that included pictures and video. I found myself becoming more
Speaker 7: immersed in it and growing resentful of you because I
Speaker 7: could not please you like the men and the porn did.
Speaker 2: Joel wasn't blaming her per se, but he was implying
Speaker 2: that this was all about not being able to satisfy her.
Speaker 7: I found myself starting to believe in the fantasy world,
Speaker 7: and my self esteem crashed. There were no boundaries or
Speaker 7: limitations in this fantasy world. I could say things to
Speaker 7: women that were not imaginable in real life.
Speaker 2: Joel went on to explain in graphic detail how this
Speaker 2: fantasy escalated into real life actions.
Speaker 7: I could get a blowjob and feel more manly. Once
Speaker 7: I saw how easy it was, I got hooked on that.
Speaker 7: I felt guilty and knew what I was doing was wrong,
Speaker 7: but by then it didn't matter. Low self esteem, self hatred, depression, anxiety,
Speaker 7: addiction all contributed to my behavior and actions, saying people
Speaker 7: would not do what I did, but I literally was
Speaker 7: not in my right mind.
Speaker 2: Joel went on to say that this wasn't a justification
Speaker 2: for his behavior, just an explanation. Then he tried to
Speaker 2: assure her he had told her all of his secrets.
Speaker 7: You have discovered everything, and I have told you about
Speaker 7: all that is significant or I remember. I have tried
Speaker 7: to explain it as best I can in this text.
Speaker 7: Are there things I'm omitting absolutely, but not out of
Speaker 7: intentional deception. I simply can't remember everything. I hope that
Speaker 7: this in some way helps show that I'm being honest
Speaker 7: and forthcoming about my actions.
Speaker 2: Back in Colorado Springs, Nicole watched her mom grapple with
Speaker 2: the tug of war between hurt and hope.
Speaker 5: She was trying so hard to be with my dad
Speaker 5: for the beginning of it, like trying to work through
Speaker 5: it and trying to like maybe start fresh.
Speaker 6: With him.
Speaker 2: Still, Caroline felt that Joel was holding back. For example,
Speaker 2: when she asked if he had affairs with any coworkers,
Speaker 2: his response was, cage.
Speaker 7: I want to engage in conversations to heal. I'd be
Speaker 7: happy to address this, but I'm wary of piling on
Speaker 7: for the divorce proceedings. If there is any hope of
Speaker 7: working through this, then I want to address this.
Speaker 2: Caroline suspected he was still carefully picking and choosing what
Speaker 2: he'd fess up to. She wrestled with all of this
Speaker 2: while trying to keep some normalcy for their daughter. Nicole
Speaker 2: was a junior in high school, so while Joel was
Speaker 2: in rehab, Caroline took her to tour a college campus
Speaker 2: hundreds of miles from home. That's where Caroline was when
Speaker 2: she got a call from Joel's case manager at the
Speaker 2: treatment center. Joel gave the facility permission to keep Caroline
Speaker 2: updated about his care, but this was the first time
Speaker 2: she'd heard from a staff member.
Speaker 1: And so she said, he said that it's important for
Speaker 1: you to know that he is doing all these things
Speaker 1: and trying to get better, to not only keep his job,
Speaker 1: but to try to change and be a different person,
Speaker 1: and so I tell her what he has told me
Speaker 1: thus far, and she says there's a lot more. He's
Speaker 1: actually said that he's done so much that if you
Speaker 1: find out everything, there's no way you guys will be
Speaker 1: able to stay together.
Speaker 2: Then the case manager got to the point, the real
Speaker 2: reason she was calling Caroline.
Speaker 1: She said he was one of the worst cases of
Speaker 1: sex addiction she had ever seen.
Speaker 2: Caroline received a call from the rehabilitation center where Joel
Speaker 2: was being treated. The case manager was direct with their
Speaker 2: assessment of Joel.
Speaker 1: She said he was one of the worst cases of
Speaker 1: sex addiction she had ever seen. She's telling me all this,
Speaker 1: and my head is just spinning. I'm on a campus,
Speaker 1: trying to keep some normalcy for our daughter and let
Speaker 1: her be able to get a glimpse of what her
Speaker 1: future could be on a college campus. I'm trying to
Speaker 1: hold it together emotionally for her. I'm trying to hold
Speaker 1: it together emotionally for myself.
Speaker 2: The case manager's words replayed in her head. Maybe this
Speaker 2: story Joel was telling Caroline about reflections, breakthroughs, and progress
Speaker 2: was just that a story.
Speaker 1: One night, to get a phone call and he says
Speaker 1: he has his ability to call people now, and he's
Speaker 1: talking himself up and he's saying, you know what a
Speaker 1: leader he is at the facility that he doesn't think
Speaker 1: he's even going to be there the full time because
Speaker 1: he's just doing so great, and his therapist thinks he's amazing,
Speaker 1: and he is taking on different leadership roles in his groups.
Speaker 1: And I couldn't take it anymore.
Speaker 2: So she told Joel about the phone call with the
Speaker 2: case manager. The case manager's version of Joel's progress did
Speaker 2: not match his.
Speaker 1: Joel became infuriated, and he said that she was a bitch,
Speaker 1: and you know this is why now he could see
Speaker 1: why she was standoffish to him.
Speaker 2: You know, he just.
Speaker 1: Completely twisted it and earned it and then let me
Speaker 1: know he didn't want her contacting me for anything ever again.
Speaker 1: And so I said, sounds sounds appropriate at this point,
Speaker 1: because you're not honest with me, and you're not honest
Speaker 1: with this treatment team.
Speaker 2: If he wasn't going to tell her the full truth,
Speaker 2: she would investigate herself.
Speaker 1: And I can't tell you what prompted me to finally
Speaker 1: have this epiphany, but I did. I had this moment
Speaker 1: after all of this, to pull our phone records.
Speaker 2: To understand the gravity of this next story. We have
Speaker 2: to go back in time, about five years prior, when
Speaker 2: Nicole was in middle school. When I first introduced you
Speaker 2: to the family, I told you that their son and
Speaker 2: daughter were accomplished athletes and hard working students. It's extraordinary
Speaker 2: they've maintained that, especially considering the trauma they've experienced. For Nicole,
Speaker 2: it wasn't the first time she had faced adversity.
Speaker 5: School, and the beginning years of high school definitely weren't
Speaker 5: the best for me.
Speaker 2: For several years, Nicole was bullied. She felt like one
Speaker 2: girl had turned the entire school against her.
Speaker 5: There was a ring later. It was the typical sort
Speaker 5: of movie scene where she seemed really popular and had
Speaker 5: a bunch of friends, and everyone was like crowding around her,
Speaker 5: and her lunch table was big where mine was nuts.
Speaker 5: It was hard forming some connections, and so a lot
Speaker 5: of times family dinner would be the first time, like
Speaker 5: I ever talked to anyone that day. It was hard,
Speaker 5: So that structure of family dinner was important to me.
Speaker 1: This Sprowl definitely was someone who was a leader amongst
Speaker 1: her peers and somehow was able to get folks to
Speaker 1: kind of side with her. In essence, and so she
Speaker 1: often was able to rally folks to isolate our daughter.
Speaker 1: Nicole would often be in tears talking about how this
Speaker 1: little girl at school was bowling her relentlessly, and I
Speaker 1: was really caught between a rock and a hard place,
Speaker 1: between not wanting to give into a bully, but also
Speaker 1: to try to instill self confidence in her and look
Speaker 1: out for her safety.
Speaker 2: Joel had casual contact with the mother of Nichole's bully
Speaker 2: through the kids' activities.
Speaker 1: I said, don't you think maybe we should sit down
Speaker 1: and talk to her, And he said, let's see if
Speaker 1: the girls can work this out on her own. And
Speaker 1: he just reiterated that this was a piece of growing
Speaker 1: up and that we really should reinstill self confidence in
Speaker 1: our own child so that she could stick up for herself.
Speaker 2: It was a painful chapter that only improved as Nicole
Speaker 2: made more friends in high school. Okay, now back to
Speaker 2: the phone records.
Speaker 1: I had this moment after all of this to pull
Speaker 1: our phone records. I searched the first number and it
Speaker 1: came back as the mom of the little girl who
Speaker 1: bullied our daughter so heavily throughout middle school and the
Speaker 1: onset of high school.
Speaker 2: It was right there in black and white, call after call,
Speaker 2: text after text between Joel and the mother of Nicole's bully.
Speaker 1: Around six in the morning, I called Joel and he
Speaker 1: answered and I said, Joel, I just pulled our phone records.
Speaker 1: Why are you in constant contact with And he got
Speaker 1: really quiet and then he said she saw me at
Speaker 1: target and thought I looked really skinny, and so she
Speaker 1: was concerned for me. So she's just been checking on me.
Speaker 1: And I said, no, I just don't believe you.
Speaker 2: They both knew it was total bs, but for Joel,
Speaker 2: lying was like a reflex. This time, Caroline demanded the truth,
Speaker 2: and finally he confessed.
Speaker 1: He said that he had been having an affair with
Speaker 1: her since our son graduated from high school. It started
Speaker 1: because she reached out to him and congratulated him on
Speaker 1: all of our son's accolades. And then he was very
Speaker 1: matter of fact and said, then she said to me,
Speaker 1: I always look forward to seeing you because I thought
Speaker 1: you were cute. And he said, from that moment, I
Speaker 1: knew she'd be easy to have sex with. And so
Speaker 1: he said that he started driving to her home at
Speaker 1: least three times a week and would have sex with
Speaker 1: her while he was on duty.
Speaker 2: All of this was revealed on May eighth, which happened
Speaker 2: to be Caroline's birthday and Mother's Day. At this point,
Speaker 2: the kids insisted on knowing every new detail. They wanted
Speaker 2: to know that truth, no matter how disturbing.
Speaker 5: I was just about to turn seventeen. I didn't want
Speaker 5: to be in the shadows, and I wanted like the
Speaker 5: full picture of my dad. But then sometimes the full
Speaker 5: picture of my dad was a little gory, and so
Speaker 5: it was hard to hear.
Speaker 2: Hard to hear is an understatement. Joel having an affair
Speaker 2: with the mother of her bully was devastating. Nicole confronted
Speaker 2: her dad.
Speaker 1: She said, you knew what that girl did to me,
Speaker 1: You knew how she treated me.
Speaker 5: You knew that.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you and mommy were the first people I spoke
Speaker 1: to all day because she got everyone to ignore me.
Speaker 1: And then you went and had sex with her.
Speaker 6: Mom and he just said, I'm sorry, And so it
Speaker 6: was just kind of reality check, like my dad just
Speaker 6: did not care, did not care about his actions and
Speaker 6: who his actions affected.
Speaker 2: This was the last straw for their son.
Speaker 8: How apparent can witness firsthand the torment that another child
Speaker 8: puts on their kid knowing this and then deciding I'm
Speaker 8: going to have an affair with her mom. And so
Speaker 8: there's the breaking point where it's like you are not
Speaker 8: someone I look up to anymore. Your Joel to me,
Speaker 8: now you can go fuck yourself.
Speaker 2: The betrayal with the bully's mom was the deepest wound,
Speaker 2: and the fact that Joel didn't tell his family about
Speaker 2: it himself made it that much worse. But the phone
Speaker 2: records revealed much more. The affairs didn't end there. Caroline
Speaker 2: tracked down the identity of another phone number that appeared
Speaker 2: multiple times. This discovery helped her to make sense of
Speaker 2: something that had bothered her for years.
Speaker 1: Like a lot of spouses who there's significant other spouse
Speaker 1: is a police officer who works during the evening hours.
Speaker 1: The kids and I would take him dinner, and so
Speaker 1: when I would take him dinner, there was a specific
Speaker 1: employee who was just so incredibly mean to me and
Speaker 1: the kids. If our son would drive down and bring
Speaker 1: him like ice cream or something like that, he would
Speaker 1: notice that this specific person that she was just incredibly
Speaker 1: rude and just not nice.
Speaker 2: At Caroline, and she regularly brought it up to Joel and.
Speaker 1: He would be like, Oh, look, you know, she's a
Speaker 1: miserable person. That's just who she is. You got you
Speaker 1: gotta let that go.
Speaker 2: Turns out Joel had been contacting this coworker repeatedly. When
Speaker 2: Caroline called Joel to ask if this was another affair,
Speaker 2: he denied it.
Speaker 1: He said, come on, Caroline, she's just checking on me
Speaker 1: to make sure I'm okay. I said, I just don't
Speaker 1: believe you, and I hung up, And then he admitted
Speaker 1: that he had started having an affair with this employee
Speaker 1: when he was a midnight lieutenant, and that the affair
Speaker 1: had continued on, off and on intermittently over the years,
Speaker 1: and that she was even in the process of booking
Speaker 1: a ticket to come out and see him while he
Speaker 1: was in rehab.
Speaker 2: In one text, Joel laments about his situation to this
Speaker 2: same coworker.
Speaker 7: There are pages upon pages of my text exchanges with
Speaker 7: you and our family phone bill line and the kids.
Speaker 7: Seeing it has not lent me to building any trust.
Speaker 7: I should be in contact with them, trying to win
Speaker 7: their trust back.
Speaker 2: He was attempting to cut off contact. It was too little,
Speaker 2: too late. Only ten days after Caroline dealt with the
Speaker 2: phone records, an emergency jolted her out of her grief.
Speaker 1: It was our daughter. She was driving from lunch back
Speaker 1: to school and she was hit by a driver who
Speaker 1: had a long history of DUIs and the driver t
Speaker 1: bones her and totals the car. I got there and
Speaker 1: our daughter was just completely and shock and in a
Speaker 1: ton of pain.
Speaker 2: They drove to the hospital. Caroline felt it was important
Speaker 2: to let Joel know, but his friends at CSPD had
Speaker 2: beat her to the punch.
Speaker 1: He proceeds to tell me how he already knew some
Speaker 1: of the facts of the accident because his friends had
Speaker 1: recognized her name on the call screen.
Speaker 2: He knew and he didn't call Caroline. Nicole continues to
Speaker 2: recover and still has anxiety about driving. In the weeks
Speaker 2: that followed, the contact between Joel and Caroline mostly revolved
Speaker 2: around logistics concerning the total car from the accident. There
Speaker 2: wasn't much more to discuss. Then one day Caroline got
Speaker 2: a call from the rehab They had a problem.
Speaker 1: He says to me, Yeah, well, we're not knowing where
Speaker 1: Joel's at, so we wanted to check in. Is he
Speaker 1: with you or you know, do you know if he's
Speaker 1: still at the facility And I said, no, I have
Speaker 1: no idea, and so we still had his location on
Speaker 1: all of our phone so I pulled up his location.
Speaker 1: I can specifically see an address where he was at
Speaker 1: in Hermosa Beach. And then I just looked at our
Speaker 1: phone records, easy enough, and the phone records had one
Speaker 1: specific number over and over again, and so I googled
Speaker 1: the number. It comes up to a female's name, and
Speaker 1: then I called the number and I just said, hey,
Speaker 1: just to let you know my estranged husband. I believe
Speaker 1: you're with him. He's at a treatment facility and they're
Speaker 1: looking for him. It's important that you let him know
Speaker 1: that they're looking for him. Shortly after that, I got
Speaker 1: a phone call from Joel who said that he had
Speaker 1: relapsed and had fallen prey to his addictions, and that
Speaker 1: he had been meeting women online again and had been
Speaker 1: going out to different areas surrounding Laguna and meeting women.
Speaker 2: Caroline sent emails to his case manager advising him of
Speaker 2: where Joel had gone. With that email went Caroline's last
Speaker 2: shred of hope. Joel hadn't let go of his habits,
Speaker 2: he just relocated them. Caroline made the decision to prioritize
Speaker 2: herself and her daughter's needs.
Speaker 1: His next contact with me was to call to say
Speaker 1: that he wanted me to know that he got a job.
Speaker 2: This was June twenty twenty two. After about two months
Speaker 2: in rehab, Joel told Caroline he was leaving. He landed
Speaker 2: a new job outside of law enforcement. He was getting
Speaker 2: his own apartment in Colorado. Caroline was confused. She thought
Speaker 2: all of this was to try and save his job
Speaker 2: at the police department.
Speaker 1: And so he said he was at this point just
Speaker 1: hoping he could retire without any type of concern or
Speaker 1: charge of misconduct.
Speaker 2: He wouldn't know if he would be criminally charged or
Speaker 2: how his actions would affect his record until later in
Speaker 2: the summer. Would he be allowed to retire scott free
Speaker 2: or would there be consequences. We'll get to this in
Speaker 2: our next episode. For now, though, Joel seemed to accept
Speaker 2: that he had to move on from the CSPD. He
Speaker 2: came back to Colorado to start a new job, and
Speaker 2: Caroline got clear about their relationship. It was over. Now
Speaker 2: they would have to work out the terms of their divorce,
Speaker 2: so they set a meeting to hash out details concerning money, property,
Speaker 2: and custody.
Speaker 1: He and I agree that we'll meet on the fourth
Speaker 1: of July to agree on some things to be able
Speaker 1: to divide them out, and we agree to meet at
Speaker 1: a coffee shop that we used to frequent together a lot.
Speaker 1: And so when I walked into the coffee shop, it
Speaker 1: was just so bizarre. I see this older gentleman who
Speaker 1: clearly is not my husband. I see a young teenager
Speaker 1: who obviously is not my husband. And then I see
Speaker 1: this man who was fully bearded, hair is shaggy, he's
Speaker 1: wearing a fedora and a skull shirt, and he's waving
Speaker 1: at me from a distance. And I had to take
Speaker 1: pause and stand for several seconds and the entryway of
Speaker 1: this coffee shop and stare at him. Joel had always
Speaker 1: been someone who was extremely clean cut, and I just
Speaker 1: sat down. And so as I sat down, he had
Speaker 1: his phone facing up and I could see prompt after
Speaker 1: prompt after prompt coming up, you know, just notification after
Speaker 1: notification after notification of his own of various dating apps,
Speaker 1: tender bumble, and it was just constant, constant, constant.
Speaker 2: Caroline ignored the unending alerts. Then the conversation turned to
Speaker 2: their daughter. Following the incident with her bully's mother. Nicole
Speaker 2: refused to be in contact with Joel, but she was seventeen,
Speaker 2: so there was still the issue of child support.
Speaker 1: He said he shouldn't have to pay child support for
Speaker 1: someone who wasn't in contact with him, and so we
Speaker 1: went back and forth, and we even talked about that
Speaker 1: when we went through the mediation process, and I could
Speaker 1: not see myself forcing her to go through that. I mean,
Speaker 1: my attorney advised me that we could go and have
Speaker 1: court testimony and take a look at what a judge
Speaker 1: would rule in that, and I just agreed to waive
Speaker 1: child support so that I didn't have to put her
Speaker 1: through that. After we agreed on how things would be
Speaker 1: divided out, we started walking out of the coffee shop.
Speaker 1: He walks me over to where I parked, and it's
Speaker 1: such an ironic memory because I see his watch and
Speaker 1: I can just see the constant notifications, and so I
Speaker 1: thought to myself, let's see what you say, and I
Speaker 1: just said, your phone kept going off and your watch
Speaker 1: is going off so much. And his comment was, these
Speaker 1: are all my friends from rehab and my therapist. They
Speaker 1: just keep reaching out to me. I mean, even in
Speaker 1: that moment after everything that had gone on, he just
Speaker 1: looked at me and lied, I mean blatantly lied, and
Speaker 1: so I didn't even argue with him on it. I
Speaker 1: just nodded my head and then I said, thanks for
Speaker 1: meeting me, have a good Fourth of July. And then
Speaker 1: he said, can I have a hug? And I said no,
Speaker 1: and then he just stared at me for several seconds,
Speaker 1: and like his voice was cracking, and he said, you
Speaker 1: will always be.
Speaker 9: The love of my life.
Speaker 1: And I just stared at.
Speaker 10: Him, and then he said, I hope you know I
Speaker 10: love you more than anything in this world and I
Speaker 10: always will. And all I could stay back was okay,
Speaker 10: and we parted ways and that was the last time
Speaker 10: we saw each other and probably ever will.
Speaker 2: On the next episode of Betrayal.
Speaker 9: When I came home, there was this envelope taped to
Speaker 9: our front door, and she just had this desperation in
Speaker 9: her face, like she just was hoping for it, and
Speaker 9: she said, oh, my gosh, is that from my dad?
Speaker 2: Thank you for listening to Betrayal season four. If you
Speaker 2: would like to reach out to the Betrayal team, email
Speaker 2: us at betrayalpod at gmail dot com. That's Betrayal Pod
Speaker 2: at gmail dot com. Also, please be sure to follow
Speaker 2: us on Instagram at Betrayal Pod and me Andrea H.
Speaker 2: Gunning for all Betrayal content, news and updates. One way
Speaker 2: to support the series is by subscribing to our show
Speaker 2: on Apple Podcasts. Please rate and review Betrayal five star
Speaker 2: reviews help us know you appreciate what we do. Betrayal
Speaker 2: is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass
Speaker 2: Entertainment Group, in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is
Speaker 2: executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fasin. Betrayal is
Speaker 2: hosted and produced by me Andrea Gunning, written and produced
Speaker 2: by Carrie Hartman, also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our associate
Speaker 2: producers are Caitlin Golden and Kristin Melcurie. Our iHeart team
Speaker 2: is Ali Perry and Jessica Crincheck. Story editing by Monique Leboard,
Speaker 2: Audio editing and mixing by Matt Delvecchio, editing by Tanner Robbins.
Speaker 2: Special thanks to voice actor John Blomo, and special thanks
Speaker 2: to Caroline and her family. Betrayal's theme is composed by
Speaker 2: Oliver Bains. Music library provided by my Music and for
Speaker 2: more podcasts from iHeart visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts
Speaker 2: for wherever you get your podcasts.