WEBVTT - Gabrielle Blair 0:00:03.360 --> 0:00:06.960 I'm Sam Edis and I'm Amy Nelson. Welcome to What's 0:00:06.960 --> 0:00:09.600 Her Story? With Sam and Amy. This is a show 0:00:09.640 --> 0:00:15.400 about the world's most remarkable women, their professional and personal journeys. Together, 0:00:15.480 --> 0:00:19.200 we'll hear from Gold medalists, best selling authors, and leaders 0:00:19.239 --> 0:00:22.840 of the world's most iconic brands. Listen every Thursday, or 0:00:22.920 --> 0:00:27.880 join the conversation anytime on Instagram at What's Her Story Podcast. 0:00:30.400 --> 0:00:34.200 Gabrielle Blair's original website, Design Mom, was named a Time 0:00:34.280 --> 0:00:37.280 Magazine Website of the Year. She is the founder of 0:00:37.280 --> 0:00:40.040 the design conference Alt Summit and author of the New 0:00:40.120 --> 0:00:43.680 York Times best selling book Design Mom. Her newest book 0:00:43.800 --> 0:00:51.360 is Ejaculate Responsibly, a whole new way to think about abortion. So, Gabby, 0:00:51.680 --> 0:00:53.840 let's dig in a little bit to your story. You 0:00:53.960 --> 0:00:59.480 call yourself an accidental thought leader. How did this journey begin? Well, 0:00:59.600 --> 0:01:02.080 I mean I went to school for graphic design. I 0:01:02.280 --> 0:01:04.760 certainly didn't think of myself as a writer or or 0:01:04.800 --> 0:01:07.160 any kind of thought leader that way. Um I did 0:01:07.160 --> 0:01:09.480 think of myself as a problem solver. For me, design 0:01:09.600 --> 0:01:14.480 was always problem solving, and um so that has ended 0:01:14.520 --> 0:01:18.800 up affecting how I approach any of these current event topics. 0:01:19.240 --> 0:01:23.800 But um, basically I started the blog and I called 0:01:23.800 --> 0:01:25.959 a design mom, and I said the subtitle was the 0:01:26.000 --> 0:01:29.360 intersection of design and parenting, and or maybe it was 0:01:29.400 --> 0:01:32.960 design and motherhood. And I quickly realized I could write 0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:36.679 about anything at that intersection. Like it really allowed me 0:01:36.720 --> 0:01:38.840 to kind of do whatever I wanted, which was so 0:01:38.959 --> 0:01:40.920 great for me, because I didn want to write about everything. 0:01:40.959 --> 0:01:43.520 I wanted to write about parenting, I wanted to write 0:01:43.560 --> 0:01:46.640 about design. I wanted to write about you know, the 0:01:46.680 --> 0:01:49.040 elections or whatever is happening, my religion, like I wanted 0:01:49.040 --> 0:01:51.560 to write about all of it, and um, it allowed 0:01:51.600 --> 0:01:53.760 me too, So that was great. If there was something 0:01:53.760 --> 0:01:55.920 that felt very out of reach, I could always just 0:01:55.920 --> 0:01:57.720 add a question at the end. It was like, how 0:01:57.760 --> 0:01:59.760 would you talk about this with your children? You know? 0:02:00.120 --> 0:02:02.000 And that's like now it's parenting now, now it's at 0:02:02.000 --> 0:02:06.640 the intersection. And as blogging changed, remember two thousands six 0:02:06.800 --> 0:02:10.600 is pre pinterest, pre Instagram, pre any of that, and 0:02:10.960 --> 0:02:15.160 a blog post at that time really was on a 0:02:15.200 --> 0:02:18.720 design blog was as simple as like, look at this cube, 0:02:18.760 --> 0:02:21.200 you know, diaper bag I found in a link like 0:02:21.280 --> 0:02:22.960 that that was a blog post, and you'd do like 0:02:23.000 --> 0:02:24.840 three or four a day, or you'd be like, here's 0:02:24.840 --> 0:02:27.280 something cool I found. I mean, it was less work 0:02:27.400 --> 0:02:29.320 even than an Instagram post, you know, it was just 0:02:29.360 --> 0:02:30.840 so simple, and that's kind of what a blog was. 0:02:31.200 --> 0:02:33.800 But then blocks changed. We got all these other visual 0:02:34.000 --> 0:02:36.680 outlets and now we're like writing essays and they were 0:02:36.720 --> 0:02:40.600 always essay blogs, but design blogs weren't that, and so 0:02:40.760 --> 0:02:43.360 my posts got longer and longer form as I stuck 0:02:43.400 --> 0:02:46.920 with this, and eventually I'm like, oh, I'm I'm like 0:02:47.040 --> 0:02:50.720 writing a lot. And I still wasn't calling myself a writer. 0:02:50.760 --> 0:02:53.640 In fact, maybe in the last year I've called myself 0:02:53.680 --> 0:02:55.880 a writer a few times, but still in my head 0:02:55.919 --> 0:02:58.440 was like, well, not a writer, I'm a designer. So 0:02:58.480 --> 0:03:00.680 that's where when I talked about being an accident thought leader. 0:03:00.880 --> 0:03:04.360 I didn't set out to do this, but the design mom, 0:03:04.400 --> 0:03:08.200 I mean, for at least a decade, had a very big, 0:03:08.240 --> 0:03:12.640 steady audience. I could talk about anything. The comments section 0:03:12.720 --> 0:03:15.959 was amazing, just like the smartest woman in the world, 0:03:16.600 --> 0:03:19.160 all discussing stuff, having different points of view, but never 0:03:19.200 --> 0:03:22.600 attacking each other. It would always just be someone saying, 0:03:22.600 --> 0:03:25.200 well this has been my experience, and like sharing their story, 0:03:25.360 --> 0:03:27.520 and then someone else might share a totally different story, 0:03:27.760 --> 0:03:30.280 but it was never like you or you know, it 0:03:30.400 --> 0:03:33.960 was just the most friendly place. It was. It was amazing. 0:03:34.000 --> 0:03:37.480 And so people reading or watching are being exposed to 0:03:37.560 --> 0:03:40.360 so many different points of view from so many different 0:03:40.360 --> 0:03:42.520 people and so many different you know, from different walks 0:03:42.520 --> 0:03:46.480 of life, and in this you know, non threatening way, 0:03:46.640 --> 0:03:48.600 and it just was really really wonderful. And so then 0:03:48.640 --> 0:03:50.800 I started, of course getting requests on like hey, can 0:03:50.800 --> 0:03:54.920 you discuss X topic? Can you discuss this? Because they 0:03:54.960 --> 0:03:59.440 wanted this discussion, this safe discussion place, and so I would. 0:03:59.560 --> 0:04:02.520 I would right about whatever was happening in the world. 0:04:02.560 --> 0:04:04.760 And as my kids were getting older too, we were 0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:08.000 discussing that stuff at the dinner table anyway, Like they're 0:04:08.040 --> 0:04:09.880 the stuff that some of you want to child your 0:04:09.960 --> 0:04:12.360 kids from. They're not being shielded from. They're seeing it 0:04:12.360 --> 0:04:15.000 on TikTok or they're seeing on Twitter or wherever they are, Like, 0:04:15.200 --> 0:04:17.800 they're seeing the same headlines that I'm seeing, and so 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:20.720 let's talk about it, you know, and and um, so 0:04:20.760 --> 0:04:22.599 whatever we were talking about the dinner table, I knew 0:04:22.839 --> 0:04:24.760 the blog audience would want to talk about two. And 0:04:24.760 --> 0:04:27.880 I could translate a post there at what point did 0:04:27.880 --> 0:04:31.480 the blog turn into a business That was like almost immediate, 0:04:31.880 --> 0:04:34.400 but the business has changed over the years. But what 0:04:34.520 --> 0:04:37.520 happened was a few months in I put on this 0:04:37.600 --> 0:04:40.560 software called track c. This is before Google Analytics, and 0:04:40.560 --> 0:04:43.680 this is like a little analytics program that showed you 0:04:43.720 --> 0:04:46.440 how many people are coming to your blog. I was 0:04:46.480 --> 0:04:48.320 getting three or four comments on a post. So I 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:50.600 was like, I was delighted. It was wonderful, but I 0:04:50.680 --> 0:04:53.279 knew every single person right that was writing. So I 0:04:53.320 --> 0:04:56.440 put tracks the on and it's blowing my mind. It's 0:04:56.480 --> 0:05:00.120 like people have come to your blog today or and 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:03.320 I was like, what who are these people? Like one 0:05:03.320 --> 0:05:05.200 of the world, Like it was just like shocking to me. 0:05:05.480 --> 0:05:08.520 Of course, those numbers are so tiny now compared to 0:05:08.520 --> 0:05:09.920 how big a group. But at the time, I was like, 0:05:10.360 --> 0:05:12.840 there's four comments and I know them. Who are these 0:05:12.920 --> 0:05:15.600 ninety nine? Like what is this? I blew my mind? 0:05:16.040 --> 0:05:18.080 And I was so curious, and I was like I 0:05:18.160 --> 0:05:21.039 want them to say hello, like I want him to 0:05:21.040 --> 0:05:24.960 say hello. So I invented the blog giveaway. Like I 0:05:24.960 --> 0:05:26.320 don't know if you guys know that I did the 0:05:26.360 --> 0:05:30.520 first blog emory comment to it. Yeah, So I so 0:05:30.600 --> 0:05:31.960 I was like, what could get them to do this? 0:05:32.080 --> 0:05:34.880 I knew it was a learned thing. Remember, people hadn't 0:05:34.920 --> 0:05:37.560 done caption yet, Like to leave a comment was like 0:05:37.600 --> 0:05:39.640 a learned skill, like where do you go? What do 0:05:39.720 --> 0:05:42.680 you do? You know? Like it felt scary, So I'm like, 0:05:42.680 --> 0:05:45.679 I need to give them some motivation. So my husband 0:05:45.680 --> 0:05:47.520 had a high school friend who had just started a 0:05:47.560 --> 0:05:51.200 shop and this cue little online shop, and I said, hey, 0:05:51.680 --> 0:05:54.000 would you send a prize to a winner? She's like, yeah, 0:05:54.000 --> 0:05:56.400 I'll send these earrings. I'm like, great, super And so 0:05:56.520 --> 0:05:59.400 I say, hey, if you leave a comment, you're entered 0:05:59.400 --> 0:06:02.599 to win. We're gonna randomly pick someone. And and then 0:06:02.680 --> 0:06:05.520 Darley was gonna send you these earrings. And Darley Bird's 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:10.599 the shop. And I got like seventy comments, and my 0:06:10.720 --> 0:06:13.159 phone is ringing off the hook because all the people that, 0:06:13.240 --> 0:06:16.600 like people I knew in real life are called me, going, 0:06:17.320 --> 0:06:20.280 who are these people who is reading your blood? How 0:06:20.279 --> 0:06:22.680 did they find it? Because in their minds, it's like 0:06:23.040 --> 0:06:25.200 they're reading it and they're like neighbors reading it and 0:06:25.240 --> 0:06:27.240 like my sisters reading it, because that's who they're seeing 0:06:27.240 --> 0:06:30.159 comments from. So the commenters kind of knew each other 0:06:30.200 --> 0:06:32.000 in real life too, and then all of a sudden 0:06:32.000 --> 0:06:34.640 that change. Here's like all these people and it was 0:06:34.720 --> 0:06:39.039 really really fun. Immediately afterwards, I probably received thirty emails 0:06:39.040 --> 0:06:41.919 from other bloggers saying can I copy and paste it? 0:06:42.040 --> 0:06:43.960 Like can I can I do the same people? I'm 0:06:44.000 --> 0:06:48.000 like yeah, I'm sure whatever and like. So that is 0:06:48.040 --> 0:06:49.840 when I was like, oh, this is a business. When 0:06:49.880 --> 0:06:54.160 I realized like, oh, there's people here, something's happening here. Okay, 0:06:54.200 --> 0:06:55.640 how do I do this? And so then I started 0:06:55.640 --> 0:06:58.800 selling little ads on my side, and then eventually I 0:06:58.880 --> 0:07:02.599 got signed with Federated Media, which is defunct now but 0:07:03.120 --> 0:07:05.760 made a lot of careers. That's when I signed with them. 0:07:05.839 --> 0:07:07.640 That was two thousand and ten, so that was already 0:07:07.640 --> 0:07:10.440 a lot of years. That's when I was getting a 0:07:10.480 --> 0:07:12.640 full time income from blogging. But until then I was 0:07:12.640 --> 0:07:16.080 just like scrambling, scrambling, scrambling. I started All Summit that year. 0:07:16.400 --> 0:07:19.080 It's like I was like using my blogging connections to 0:07:19.080 --> 0:07:22.560 get speakers for All Summit. Like once I saw that 0:07:22.680 --> 0:07:25.720 track see data of like there's like a hundred people here, 0:07:25.720 --> 0:07:28.080 I was like, Oh, something's going on. And of course 0:07:28.120 --> 0:07:30.360 I just kept growing and growing. When you first started 0:07:30.360 --> 0:07:32.960 All summit, What was the idea behind all summit? And 0:07:32.960 --> 0:07:34.920 how do you just start a conference? How do you 0:07:35.000 --> 0:07:37.200 make it happen? For a couple of years, I'd gone 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:40.960 to blog her and that was like the conference at 0:07:40.960 --> 0:07:43.200 the time. I really loved it, had so much fun. 0:07:43.200 --> 0:07:46.400 Went to Chicago, but every class I went to was 0:07:46.400 --> 0:07:49.600 about writing. It was like writers, which is great, and 0:07:49.640 --> 0:07:51.360 a lot of mom you know, it's like the mom 0:07:51.440 --> 0:07:54.680 blog era, so a lot of mom writers, which you know, 0:07:54.720 --> 0:07:56.760 I'm I'm my blog called design Mom, so I'm fitting 0:07:56.840 --> 0:08:01.080 right in, except that I'm more than reading these mom blogs. 0:08:01.080 --> 0:08:03.600 I was reading design blogs. I was reading design Sponge 0:08:03.800 --> 0:08:07.360 and oh Joy and Apartment Therapy. And none of them 0:08:07.640 --> 0:08:11.440 had kids yet, you know, and they certainly weren't doing 0:08:11.480 --> 0:08:14.200 sort of parenting kind of blogs. And none of them 0:08:14.200 --> 0:08:16.320 were at these conferences, and we weren't talking about any 0:08:16.320 --> 0:08:20.160 of the topics that affected design bloggers. And I have 0:08:20.440 --> 0:08:23.480 a sister, Jordan Ferny, who had started a design block. 0:08:23.600 --> 0:08:25.480 She also didn't have kids yet. I had a sister 0:08:25.520 --> 0:08:28.040 in law list down they who started saying yes, who 0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:30.080 also didn't have kids yet, and so they're part of 0:08:30.120 --> 0:08:32.800 the design blog world. And we were all on this trip, 0:08:33.559 --> 0:08:35.720 and I was just telling them, like, I love going 0:08:35.720 --> 0:08:38.520 to these converces. It's so fun. Um, it's so fun 0:08:38.520 --> 0:08:41.800 because you're, like, you know, you work so isolated as 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:44.360 a as a blogger and now a content creator whatever 0:08:44.400 --> 0:08:46.880 we're calling ourselves these days, and it's so fun to 0:08:46.880 --> 0:08:49.600 just go like talk shop in person with like people 0:08:49.640 --> 0:08:53.080 that get it right. Like, I love these conferences. And 0:08:53.200 --> 0:08:55.720 I was saying, but I wish like the design bloggers 0:08:55.760 --> 0:08:57.080 were that. That's who I want to meet. That's why 0:08:57.080 --> 0:08:58.560 I want to hear from. I want to learn what 0:08:58.600 --> 0:09:02.280 they're what they're doing. So then my sister Sarah, who 0:09:02.400 --> 0:09:04.760 not a blogger, but who has done a lot of 0:09:04.800 --> 0:09:07.480 events stuff. She's her husband's a politician at the time, 0:09:07.880 --> 0:09:10.480 and she had stayed political science as well and had 0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:13.560 done just like a lot of political events, and she 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:16.240 was like, well, let's do a design blog conference. I'll 0:09:16.240 --> 0:09:18.600 do the organization part and like, you know, all the 0:09:18.600 --> 0:09:22.320 bloggers and you can get them all there, And so 0:09:23.120 --> 0:09:25.280 she did all the event organization. We held it in 0:09:25.280 --> 0:09:27.240 Salt Lake City, which is where she was connected to, 0:09:27.320 --> 0:09:29.680 and we called it Altitude Design Summit because it was 0:09:29.679 --> 0:09:31.920 in the mountains. And then it got short into all 0:09:32.000 --> 0:09:35.960 summit very quickly. And then the first panel, the opening 0:09:36.000 --> 0:09:40.120 panel was Maxwell from Apartment Therapy, Great Spawnie from Design 0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:43.400 Spawn Design Sponge had their Armstrong of Deuce who was 0:09:43.559 --> 0:09:47.000 both mommy blogger but also this photographer designer, and then 0:09:47.240 --> 0:09:49.760 um Gene of of Not Caught, which maybe you don't 0:09:49.760 --> 0:09:51.720 know as well, but as it was a big, big 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:54.200 deal at the time anyway, so this is the opening 0:09:54.240 --> 0:09:56.880 panel of the conference, and it was like, oh, this 0:09:56.960 --> 0:09:59.120 is real, this is like, these are the top names, 0:09:59.200 --> 0:10:01.480 like and this answers saw it. We're like, oh, this 0:10:01.520 --> 0:10:03.880 is a thing, Like this is I mean, this is 0:10:03.920 --> 0:10:07.559 the thing. Right. So that first year though, I mean sponsors, 0:10:07.600 --> 0:10:09.440 like who did we have. I don't don't even remember, 0:10:09.520 --> 0:10:11.839 Like it was local friends or whatever. It was just 0:10:11.920 --> 0:10:14.000 like trying to pull this together. But like you had 0:10:14.040 --> 0:10:17.160 this this opening panel that you could point to that 0:10:17.200 --> 0:10:19.080 We're like, these are the big names, and it was 0:10:19.120 --> 0:10:21.240 like oh the next year it was so much easier 0:10:21.280 --> 0:10:24.119 to sell tickets, so much easier to get sponsorships, etcetera. 0:10:24.160 --> 0:10:27.160 But basically, if you have an event plunting background or 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:30.080 some experience there, that's what you need to you know, 0:10:30.120 --> 0:10:32.240 talk to a hotel. Talk to Ben, use that kind 0:10:32.240 --> 0:10:33.679 of stuff. Make sure you know how much food do 0:10:33.679 --> 0:10:35.600 you need to have? You know, all that kind of stuff. 0:10:36.000 --> 0:10:38.920 And then for the content that was my area, like 0:10:38.960 --> 0:10:40.839 what are we talking about, what are the panels about, 0:10:40.880 --> 0:10:43.960 what's happening there? So I mean, yes, go start a conference. 0:10:44.240 --> 0:10:45.880 I have to tell you another story of the first 0:10:45.960 --> 0:10:49.240 the first all semmate. One of the attendees, his name 0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:52.760 has been named Ben Silverman. He was just an attendee. 0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:54.400 He had just signed up, heard about it and signed up, 0:10:54.679 --> 0:10:57.559 and he was walking around trying to get people to 0:10:57.600 --> 0:11:00.199 look at his his little website he created. It's a 0:11:00.200 --> 0:11:02.520 little beta version to kind of check it out, and 0:11:02.559 --> 0:11:05.480 everyone's you know, super friendly, and we're all checking it out. 0:11:05.520 --> 0:11:07.920 And one of the people he really connected with was 0:11:08.360 --> 0:11:10.840 Victoria Smith, who's sp girl by the Bay big big 0:11:10.840 --> 0:11:13.760 design blogger, and they ended up like flying back to 0:11:14.000 --> 0:11:16.280 the Bay Area at the same time. And the little 0:11:16.280 --> 0:11:20.120 site that Ben was showing your own was Pinterest. And 0:11:20.160 --> 0:11:23.560 the next year he came and he's the panelist this time. 0:11:24.559 --> 0:11:26.880 By then, like the design world had found Pinterest and 0:11:26.960 --> 0:11:29.720 was like, this is amazing, It's exactly what we needed. 0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:32.240 This is just like so perfect, we can bookmark all 0:11:32.240 --> 0:11:35.880 our visuals. And the next year, the third year, he 0:11:35.960 --> 0:11:38.400 came and he's the keynote like Pinters had just like 0:11:38.640 --> 0:11:41.720 take it off in a huge way and one of 0:11:41.720 --> 0:11:44.360 his quotes that we've used because we love so much 0:11:44.360 --> 0:11:47.000 as he says, all sum it is the the soil 0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:48.920 that Pinterest grew out of. And it is like he 0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:51.240 came and he found exactly who he needed to find. 0:11:51.280 --> 0:11:54.640 He found all the coolest design bloggers who were like 0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:57.280 so visual and cool and could just pin the most 0:11:57.320 --> 0:12:00.800 amazing content and it really grew Pinterest a wonderful way. 0:12:01.000 --> 0:12:06.560 And now a quick break. So your new book is 0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:12.920 called Ejaculate Responsibly. And it started out as a Twitter thread. 0:12:13.679 --> 0:12:15.960 Did you really think out the thread or did you 0:12:16.000 --> 0:12:19.040 write it as you went or like how did it unfold? 0:12:19.320 --> 0:12:23.520 Because this Twitter dread for people who don't know millions 0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:27.599 and millions interactions over a course of years, Like I 0:12:27.640 --> 0:12:30.240 don't think there's been a day where that thread isn't 0:12:30.280 --> 0:12:34.160 still making magic on Twitter still. I was just on 0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:36.800 Twitter today. It's still doing stuff on Twitter today. Yeah. 0:12:36.800 --> 0:12:41.679 It's been so with September and we're in November, so 0:12:41.800 --> 0:12:45.439 it's uh, yeah, four years plus now it's it's been active. 0:12:46.000 --> 0:12:50.199 So I wrote out my thoughts or sort of an 0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:54.840 essay form of that, maybe six months before the actual thread. 0:12:55.520 --> 0:12:57.880 I'd never written a Twitter thread before, and it's different. 0:12:57.920 --> 0:13:00.280 You have to like break it up into these very 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:03.880 specific lengths, and so I did rewrite it kind of 0:13:04.000 --> 0:13:08.200 for Twitter that day that I published it. But I mean, 0:13:08.360 --> 0:13:10.200 Twitter is funny, like I've been on it longer than 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:12.240 any other social media. I think I got on in 0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:14.640 two thousand and eight, but then I didn't use it 0:13:14.679 --> 0:13:17.200 for years, or like would barely use it. If I 0:13:17.200 --> 0:13:19.640 had like a sponsored post, i'd put it on Twitter 0:13:19.720 --> 0:13:22.200 or something like that, but I wasn't really actively using it. 0:13:22.280 --> 0:13:26.840 And then during two thousand fifteen, when a lot of 0:13:26.880 --> 0:13:29.480 us were paying attention to it because of the election 0:13:29.760 --> 0:13:32.160 and a lot was happening on Twitter, I got back 0:13:32.200 --> 0:13:35.280 on and really just started observing. I wasn't creating content. 0:13:35.320 --> 0:13:38.200 I was just observing and I'm doing a lot of retweeting, 0:13:38.200 --> 0:13:40.120 which I still is probably the main thing I do. 0:13:40.720 --> 0:13:43.520 And I realized it was like a whole different world 0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:45.839 than the Twitter I used to know, and there was 0:13:45.880 --> 0:13:47.880 a different culture there now, and I really loved it. 0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:50.600 I was super into it, so I decided to try 0:13:50.640 --> 0:13:53.960 this as a thread. But threads are supposed to be 0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:56.200 pretty short. I mean, like if you need to write 0:13:56.200 --> 0:13:58.160 an essay, go like write a blog post or something. 0:13:58.760 --> 0:14:01.040 And this thread that I wrote, my very first one, 0:14:01.080 --> 0:14:04.800 is sixty three tweets, which is just so bad form. 0:14:04.880 --> 0:14:06.760 It's just like not I mean, you guys, know you're 0:14:06.760 --> 0:14:11.160 on Twitter, like at it makes you like tweet it 0:14:11.200 --> 0:14:13.600 and then you can add more, but like is sort 0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:16.920 of like the natural limit, and here it was sixty three. 0:14:17.080 --> 0:14:19.640 So that's just super obnoxious. I mean, I have an 0:14:19.680 --> 0:14:22.480 ego for sure, And I was very nervous that not 0:14:22.520 --> 0:14:24.160 that I was gonna get yelled at because I've been 0:14:24.240 --> 0:14:27.080 yelled at online before, but that I was going to 0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:31.000 be ashamed because I was like putting myself out there 0:14:31.160 --> 0:14:34.320 with sixty three tweets, and like what if no one 0:14:34.440 --> 0:14:36.680 even looked at it? Like what if it's just like 0:14:36.800 --> 0:14:39.960 got no reaction. That I was like super worried about. 0:14:40.520 --> 0:14:42.880 So I was like mentally trying to add up, like 0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:46.880 how fast can ideally sixty three tweets one at a 0:14:46.960 --> 0:14:49.520 time and get rid of this threat if I need 0:14:49.560 --> 0:14:53.120 to pretend it never happened. You said, you've written out 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:56.800 your thoughts about abortion six months before. I don't remember 0:14:56.960 --> 0:15:00.000 exactly what it was, but I had looked up abortion statistics. 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:02.840 It's like how many abortions are happening each year? So 0:15:02.880 --> 0:15:05.080 I must have read an article, maybe seeing something on 0:15:05.080 --> 0:15:07.240 Twitter that drove me to do that, so I was 0:15:07.280 --> 0:15:09.240 looking it up. I mean, maybe I was just arguing 0:15:09.240 --> 0:15:11.640 with someone I don't know, and I remember seeing the 0:15:11.760 --> 0:15:15.000 number and it was higher than I thought. It was like, 0:15:15.360 --> 0:15:16.880 I don't know what number was in my head. It's 0:15:16.880 --> 0:15:18.600 not like there was one, but I was like, oh, 0:15:18.640 --> 0:15:20.600 that's that's more abortions than I would have guessed if 0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:24.040 I had just like guess. And so then I started 0:15:24.080 --> 0:15:27.280 trying to problem solve that, like, well, why is that 0:15:27.320 --> 0:15:30.480 never so high? Because of course I'm thinking, you know, 0:15:30.520 --> 0:15:32.960 there's birth control options out there, and it's not like, 0:15:33.120 --> 0:15:34.360 I mean, I know, women don't even like to go 0:15:34.440 --> 0:15:37.000 get paps mars. We have to sort of like psychologically 0:15:37.000 --> 0:15:39.760 prepare for any kind of gyneological visit. We're not just 0:15:39.800 --> 0:15:42.400 like casually heading out over to get an abortion, like 0:15:42.480 --> 0:15:45.000 that's not a thing. So then I was like, so, 0:15:45.040 --> 0:15:47.320 what's happening there, and then it was just like this click. 0:15:47.800 --> 0:15:50.720 I was like, oh, I know why people wouldn't necessarily 0:15:50.720 --> 0:15:53.600 be on birth control because I have used every form 0:15:53.640 --> 0:15:55.840 of birth control and they have worked. I got to 0:15:55.920 --> 0:15:58.040 choose when I had my babies, which is amazing, and 0:15:58.080 --> 0:16:01.360 that's exactly what we want for people. But I did 0:16:01.400 --> 0:16:03.520 not like the side effects. I did not enjoy that. 0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:06.440 That's why I've tried every kind like trying to troubleshoot, 0:16:06.480 --> 0:16:11.960 trying to find something, and beyond the side effects, I 0:16:12.000 --> 0:16:15.200 found the maintenance so challenging as I had all these 0:16:15.200 --> 0:16:18.120 little kids. So you know, you've just had a baby. 0:16:18.160 --> 0:16:19.280 You need to get birth control. You got to go 0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:22.240 back to the doctor and get disappointment, have another exam, 0:16:22.360 --> 0:16:26.200 then again stand in line for prescription or maybe eventually 0:16:26.200 --> 0:16:28.440 I got I could get it mailed, you know, but 0:16:28.480 --> 0:16:30.560 you had to set that up, and then by the 0:16:30.640 --> 0:16:32.920 time you get it, it still doesn't It doesn't even 0:16:32.960 --> 0:16:34.920 take effect. I'm thinking of the pill doesn't even take 0:16:34.920 --> 0:16:38.240 effect for about a week. And if you forget or 0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:41.880 you mess up, you feel terrified, like, oh crap, what 0:16:41.880 --> 0:16:43.160 did I do? You know? How do I correct this? 0:16:43.200 --> 0:16:45.880 You're like online trying to figure out if it's okay, 0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:47.880 or if it's like a shot, which I've also done, 0:16:47.920 --> 0:16:50.360 You're having to go back every few months to get 0:16:50.360 --> 0:16:52.280 a new shot, and like remember when that is and 0:16:52.520 --> 0:16:54.120 are you getting child care for that? Are you taking 0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:55.960 out for work for that? You know, like are you 0:16:56.000 --> 0:16:57.880 having to make any other arrangements. It's just was I 0:16:57.960 --> 0:17:02.000 found it really really ch challenging, and I was I 0:17:02.040 --> 0:17:03.960 was in a place where I had insurance, right, like, 0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:06.960 I have the basics covered. It's not like I was 0:17:07.000 --> 0:17:09.440 even in Ah. I mean there there are times would 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:10.879 would be even harder than when I had it, and 0:17:10.880 --> 0:17:14.680 I still found it really challenging. So for me, that's 0:17:14.720 --> 0:17:18.280 where I started going, oh, it's really hard. We make 0:17:18.320 --> 0:17:21.600 birth control so hard for women. And then of course 0:17:21.640 --> 0:17:24.119 my mind went to, will you know women aren't the 0:17:24.160 --> 0:17:27.640 only ones here, men? Men are also involved in this equation, 0:17:28.160 --> 0:17:30.200 you know what's happening there, And that's when I started 0:17:30.200 --> 0:17:34.520 thinking about condoms and vasectomies, but specifically condoms, and that 0:17:34.720 --> 0:17:37.160 they're kind of the opposite of women's birth control, meaning 0:17:37.200 --> 0:17:42.399 they're easily accessible, no doctor's appointment required, they're super affordable, 0:17:42.640 --> 0:17:44.800 you can usually get them free. In fact, every state 0:17:44.880 --> 0:17:47.840 has a free condom program, you don't need to take 0:17:47.880 --> 0:17:49.399 them if when you're not having sex, you don't need 0:17:49.440 --> 0:17:51.240 to use a condom when you're not having sex, which 0:17:51.400 --> 0:17:54.360 for women's birth control, you do have to maintain every day. 0:17:54.760 --> 0:17:58.439 They're available seven. They work instantly there like everything women's 0:17:58.480 --> 0:18:02.080 birth control isn't and then no side effects, zero side effects. 0:18:02.160 --> 0:18:03.919 And if you do need a troubleshoot, like say you 0:18:03.920 --> 0:18:05.920 have a latex allergy, you don't need to go to 0:18:05.960 --> 0:18:07.800 the doctor for that, you can just troubleshoot. You just 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:10.960 get another brand. And as all of this was like 0:18:11.000 --> 0:18:14.639 sorting out in my head and Mike I was getting angry. Anyway, 0:18:14.680 --> 0:18:16.320 I'm like, I'm writing all this down. I'm just gonna 0:18:16.320 --> 0:18:18.600 write all this down. I didn't know it would be 0:18:18.760 --> 0:18:21.800 necessarily new ideas to anyone. Maybe maybe there were already 0:18:21.800 --> 0:18:23.680 ask things all about this. I don't know. I was 0:18:23.720 --> 0:18:26.080 just sort of writing it down for me to kind 0:18:26.080 --> 0:18:29.080 of get out my frustration on WHOA, here's like the 0:18:29.119 --> 0:18:32.560 easiest birth control in the world, and yet we've decided 0:18:32.600 --> 0:18:35.359 as a culture, well, we can't ask men to wear condoms, 0:18:36.080 --> 0:18:38.360 you know, that's just too much to ask. But we're 0:18:38.359 --> 0:18:42.040 gonna ask women to do all this headache work, all 0:18:42.080 --> 0:18:45.280 these side effects, all this stuff, and we don't hesitate 0:18:45.320 --> 0:18:47.679 to do that. We start girls on birth control is 0:18:48.000 --> 0:18:50.199 you know, as soon as they hit puberty in many cases, 0:18:50.200 --> 0:18:51.920 and they're on it for decades, and we don't hesitate 0:18:51.960 --> 0:18:54.600 to do that. But we can't ask a man to 0:18:54.840 --> 0:18:58.240 wear a condom for a few minutes Like that made 0:18:58.240 --> 0:19:00.080 me angry. And then I wrote it all down on 0:19:00.160 --> 0:19:02.040 and then I wasn't sure where to share it because 0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:03.879 I've been doing design mom forever and it was like, 0:19:04.240 --> 0:19:06.440 is it a design mom post? I just wasn't sure 0:19:06.440 --> 0:19:10.680 where to put it, and then decided Twitter and rewrote 0:19:10.680 --> 0:19:13.199 it as a Twitter threat. You're perhaps one of the 0:19:13.200 --> 0:19:17.080 most unlikely people to write your book ejaculate your sponsibly. 0:19:17.680 --> 0:19:19.320 And one of the reasons people might think you were 0:19:19.400 --> 0:19:23.520 unlikely is because you're Mormon. How has this book, if 0:19:23.520 --> 0:19:27.920 at all, impacted your relationship with the church, with your 0:19:27.960 --> 0:19:30.240