WEBVTT - Childhood is Over with Nieces Jordan and Charley 0:00:00.840 --> 0:00:03.880 Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea, you're on the move. I am 0:00:04.080 --> 0:00:05.640 almost on my way to New Zealand. 0:00:05.760 --> 0:00:06.800 Oh how exciting. 0:00:06.840 --> 0:00:08.639 I mean my last week. I have my friends here. 0:00:08.680 --> 0:00:11.520 It's my friend's birthday week, so there's a lot of 0:00:11.520 --> 0:00:12.440 men and women. 0:00:12.320 --> 0:00:12.960 At my house. 0:00:13.160 --> 0:00:15.160 They're all out right now, so I can record my 0:00:15.200 --> 0:00:18.040 podcast because I'm the only one who's remaining professional while 0:00:18.040 --> 0:00:18.680 I'm on vacation. 0:00:19.440 --> 0:00:22.400 Have you reconnected with any old flames from MAJORCA from 0:00:22.440 --> 0:00:23.680 before or anything. 0:00:23.520 --> 0:00:26.759 That I have, Catherine, you know that I have. I'm 0:00:26.800 --> 0:00:29.880 not here spinning my wheels on a bicycle all the time, Okay, 0:00:30.440 --> 0:00:35.400 I'm getting a lot of activity, just spending something else. Yes, yes, 0:00:35.840 --> 0:00:37.240 I'm very busy, Chelsea. 0:00:37.440 --> 0:00:39.360 Paula wrote in, and I think this is something really 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:41.479 good to share because we talk a lot about like 0:00:41.600 --> 0:00:44.479 go get some therapy, but not everybody can afford that therapy. 0:00:44.600 --> 0:00:47.920 But Paula says, and support groups are typically free, right, 0:00:48.040 --> 0:00:49.360 exactly exactly. 0:00:49.120 --> 0:00:51.160 If you can't afford something, a lot of times there's 0:00:51.400 --> 0:00:54.240 free group therapy, support groups, all that kind of stuff. 0:00:54.280 --> 0:00:56.400 So take a look at what exists in your area. 0:00:57.080 --> 0:00:59.200 Paula says, I run a therapy center and I have 0:00:59.240 --> 0:01:01.040 to tell you I have plout what you're doing and 0:01:01.080 --> 0:01:04.880 think you would both make fabulous therapists. That's very sweet. 0:01:05.200 --> 0:01:07.520 I'm an avid listener. I heard one of your callers 0:01:07.520 --> 0:01:09.000 share that they would like to go to therapy but 0:01:09.040 --> 0:01:11.800 can't afford it, and I'm reaching out to let you 0:01:11.800 --> 0:01:14.759 know there are options for low income individuals to access 0:01:14.800 --> 0:01:17.440 quality therapy. If any of your callers are from California 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:20.600 specifically and need mental health assistance, please let them know 0:01:20.680 --> 0:01:24.240 about Pelican Cove Counseling Center, where a nonprofit and offer 0:01:24.240 --> 0:01:26.920 a sliding scale fee structure to ensure all have access 0:01:26.920 --> 0:01:29.560 to quality, long term therapy. You can just direct them 0:01:29.600 --> 0:01:31.400 to our website and hit the contact link at the 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:33.960 top navigation bar. A therapist will reach out in twenty 0:01:33.959 --> 0:01:37.200 four hours Pelicancove dot org. And I think that's amazing. 0:01:37.240 --> 0:01:40.840 There are resources like that in every single state, so like, 0:01:41.319 --> 0:01:42.920 really this stuff is a Google away. 0:01:43.240 --> 0:01:45.440 Yeah, thank you for that writing that in. 0:01:45.400 --> 0:01:47.880 Yeah, thank you, Paula. And people reach out to Pelican Cove. 0:01:47.960 --> 0:01:50.040 A lot of places have sliding scale and that sort 0:01:50.080 --> 0:01:50.320 of thing. 0:01:50.400 --> 0:01:53.960 If lighting scales where it's at for payments and for grades. 0:01:54.080 --> 0:01:57.120 I appreciated slighting scales when I was growing up exactly. 0:01:57.160 --> 0:01:58.720 It's like I really got a seventy. 0:01:58.800 --> 0:02:00.840 But because everybody else is, I'm an idiot too, I 0:02:00.840 --> 0:02:01.440 got an idea. 0:02:01.480 --> 0:02:04.240 I'm like, thank you, love it, Chelsea. 0:02:04.400 --> 0:02:07.360 We have some very special guests today, maybe even more 0:02:07.400 --> 0:02:08.800 special than our normal guests. 0:02:09.120 --> 0:02:10.399 Okay, these are my nieces. 0:02:10.520 --> 0:02:12.600 I have three nieces, and two of my nieces are 0:02:12.600 --> 0:02:14.160 represented in today's episode. 0:02:14.280 --> 0:02:17.760 Jordan Ray and Charlie Day. How cute is that? 0:02:18.880 --> 0:02:21.840 And they're both very good at giving advice Catherine in 0:02:21.880 --> 0:02:24.040 their own peer groups and within our family. So I 0:02:24.080 --> 0:02:26.080 thought there would be a great addition to the podcast 0:02:26.480 --> 0:02:30.560 because they're both very smart. Charlie's in college, Jordan's just graduate, 0:02:30.600 --> 0:02:32.920 well not just graduated from college, but she's a college 0:02:32.960 --> 0:02:35.040 graduate making her way in the world today as a 0:02:35.080 --> 0:02:39.200 working woe man, and which Charlie will be soon following suit. 0:02:39.680 --> 0:02:43.480 So Hi girls, Hi, Hello, how are you? 0:02:43.960 --> 0:02:46.600 Thanks for coming on the podcast together. How cute a 0:02:46.720 --> 0:02:47.000 is this? 0:02:47.200 --> 0:02:50.079 I love it me too, I'm so happy to be here. 0:02:50.280 --> 0:02:52.920 Okay, Charlie, I know you're a year ended at Emory 0:02:53.040 --> 0:02:55.760 University and Jordan just started a new job a few 0:02:55.760 --> 0:02:57.960 months ago. So these girls are very busy, and one 0:02:58.000 --> 0:03:02.040 of them is living in Sinn currently on the east coast. Yeah, 0:03:02.080 --> 0:03:05.120 and then start yeah, and it's also called a river. 0:03:05.600 --> 0:03:07.680 She's living with her she has a living lover. 0:03:08.120 --> 0:03:08.679 What's the river? 0:03:08.800 --> 0:03:09.639 Oh, the Jordan river. 0:03:09.720 --> 0:03:11.360 Sorry, I was gonna say it's also the name of 0:03:11.400 --> 0:03:14.480 a river, but it came out wrong. I'm so busy 0:03:14.480 --> 0:03:17.760 about putting my verbs announce in opposite directions in Spanish 0:03:17.840 --> 0:03:18.840 every morning that now I'm. 0:03:18.760 --> 0:03:22.040 Doing it in English. I'm like, wait, what river Jordan? 0:03:22.560 --> 0:03:24.680 No, Jordan lives with her boyfriend on the east coast 0:03:24.720 --> 0:03:26.680 and she just started a cool job. So I want 0:03:26.720 --> 0:03:29.320 to hear about how your this past year went for 0:03:29.360 --> 0:03:31.240 both of you. Jordan, you tell us how your new 0:03:31.320 --> 0:03:33.360 job is going, how your new city is going. 0:03:33.840 --> 0:03:37.200 Yeah. So it's funny because right around this time last year, 0:03:37.200 --> 0:03:39.640 I actually quit my last job, like I think it 0:03:39.720 --> 0:03:41.760 was like on my birthday last year. So that was 0:03:41.800 --> 0:03:42.360 really fun. 0:03:42.760 --> 0:03:44.880 And what kind of job was that? Tell everybody what 0:03:44.920 --> 0:03:45.400 you did there? 0:03:45.800 --> 0:03:48.960 It was a content creating kind of job, but it 0:03:49.000 --> 0:03:52.000 was in the techy kind of well being space. It 0:03:52.080 --> 0:03:56.040 was just very corporate and it just wasn't fun like 0:03:56.160 --> 0:03:58.840 it was supposed to be. Purposeful, but then you get 0:03:58.880 --> 0:04:00.960 so jaded in those kinds of environments. It just was 0:04:01.000 --> 0:04:05.040 not fun anymore. So I kind of decided, like, I 0:04:05.200 --> 0:04:07.840 want to change career paths. I want to move to 0:04:07.880 --> 0:04:10.040 a new city. I want to try out somewhere other 0:04:10.120 --> 0:04:12.760 than New Jersey because we've all been in New Jersey 0:04:12.840 --> 0:04:14.800 for so long. I just wanted to try a different state. 0:04:15.600 --> 0:04:19.400 And so we moved and I am now a company. 0:04:19.560 --> 0:04:24.159 It's a production company that's social impact driven and mission driven, 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:27.120 and so it feels a lot more purposeful than before. 0:04:27.160 --> 0:04:29.640 And I'm getting into I don't know if I'm stepping 0:04:29.640 --> 0:04:32.480 on your toes content of being in the entertainment space 0:04:32.839 --> 0:04:33.880 trying not to, but. 0:04:35.560 --> 0:04:36.560 Yeah, that's what I'm doing. 0:04:36.600 --> 0:04:40.440 She got a job working with Shelley to Gilsky Pandemic 0:04:40.480 --> 0:04:44.400 of Love, as everyone knows on this podcast, among many 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:47.400 other things, copious amounts of things. Shelley is she's a 0:04:47.400 --> 0:04:50.000 busy lady. So she and Samoe and my sister are 0:04:50.120 --> 0:04:52.680 very close. And she met Jordan and so she yeah, 0:04:52.720 --> 0:04:55.120 she helped Jordan get a job in her company. 0:04:55.160 --> 0:04:57.760 So that's awesome. And Charlie tell us about. 0:04:57.480 --> 0:05:00.720 Your freshman year in college, because the pictures were they 0:05:00.720 --> 0:05:02.640 looked like you were having a great time. 0:05:03.640 --> 0:05:07.920 That's absolutely correct, Listen, I was looking forward to college, 0:05:08.440 --> 0:05:11.960 but I didn't even know what was one step away. 0:05:12.800 --> 0:05:13.920 It was great. 0:05:16.000 --> 0:05:21.720 You didn't know how exciting this experience was gonna be, right, No, I. 0:05:21.720 --> 0:05:25.640 Mean so many different areas of my life have been 0:05:25.680 --> 0:05:28.880 improved after moving away from suburban New Jersey. 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:29.680 Who could have known? 0:05:30.320 --> 0:05:33.880 And you like actually going to school, right, yeah? 0:05:34.000 --> 0:05:36.600 I mean I'm a bit of a nerd and I 0:05:36.720 --> 0:05:40.400 actually really enjoy school. But I mean there are so 0:05:40.480 --> 0:05:44.719 many great parts of freshman year outside of school. 0:05:45.040 --> 0:05:49.000 How would you balance your work life, Charlie in school 0:05:49.040 --> 0:05:52.120 this year with your party life? What would you say 0:05:52.200 --> 0:05:55.400 the appropriate college balance has been that you found? 0:05:55.960 --> 0:06:00.680 Well, Chelsea, I'm I've been towing the line more and 0:06:00.760 --> 0:06:05.159 more and I'm waiting for things to blow up and 0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:08.880 they haven't yet. So I'm just kind of upping the anti. 0:06:08.920 --> 0:06:10.919 Blow up in a good way or blow up in 0:06:10.960 --> 0:06:14.280 a and like deleterious manner, Which which kind of blow 0:06:14.320 --> 0:06:15.159 up are you looking for? 0:06:15.680 --> 0:06:20.000 As the year progressed, party levels went up more, I 0:06:20.120 --> 0:06:24.400 upped the anti and things haven't exactly crashed and burned yet, 0:06:24.480 --> 0:06:26.480 So I'm just kind of waiting for that point. 0:06:26.920 --> 0:06:29.320 Okay, right, so you're just going to enjoy the ride 0:06:29.400 --> 0:06:31.560 until you have to tone it down a notch. I 0:06:31.640 --> 0:06:35.279 understand what you're saying. I think, yes exactly, Jordan. Was 0:06:35.279 --> 0:06:37.360 that your experience your first year in college as well? 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:41.120 No, I was super lame in college and you didn't 0:06:41.160 --> 0:06:44.960 go out very much. I also am a nerd and I. 0:06:44.839 --> 0:06:47.159 Just was like super obsessed with getting good grades. 0:06:47.200 --> 0:06:48.920 And also I did not go to like a good 0:06:48.920 --> 0:06:51.640 school for partying, but I figured it out over time. 0:06:52.080 --> 0:06:53.840 Yeah, you figured out how to get your party on. 0:06:53.880 --> 0:06:57.760 You mean, oh yeah, it's mostly involved alcohol and just 0:06:58.400 --> 0:06:59.360 not worrying too much. 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:02.200 Yes, we're a very pro cannabis family. I don't know 0:07:02.200 --> 0:07:05.560 if anyone's picked up on that vibe yet. Now, girls, 0:07:05.720 --> 0:07:07.359 I know that you recently went on a trip the 0:07:07.400 --> 0:07:09.680 three girls, so you know, everyone has knows. I have 0:07:09.720 --> 0:07:12.520 two sisters and I have three nieces, so it's perfect. 0:07:12.560 --> 0:07:14.160 So we have three three and three, and then our 0:07:14.200 --> 0:07:17.360 closest cousins are also three girls, so it's perfect because 0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:20.160 we just like to multiply females in groups of three. 0:07:20.320 --> 0:07:22.800 I know you recently went on a cousin's trip with 0:07:22.840 --> 0:07:26.080 Seneca the three of you, Can you tell me about 0:07:26.080 --> 0:07:28.640 that and what kind of cousin bonding you guys got 0:07:28.720 --> 0:07:28.920 up to. 0:07:29.440 --> 0:07:32.640 We all live in different areas of the country. I'm 0:07:32.680 --> 0:07:37.160 in the South, Jordan's always moving around, Sennny's in San 0:07:37.160 --> 0:07:41.120 Francisco or wherever. So we always need to squeeze in 0:07:41.880 --> 0:07:45.760 as much bonding as possible and in a short amount 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:49.280 of time. And if you think it can't be done, 0:07:49.440 --> 0:07:54.520 we always prove you wrong. Every time we ate, we laughed, 0:07:54.600 --> 0:07:56.960 we drank other things. 0:07:57.240 --> 0:08:01.320 It was beautiful, other things like your aunt Chelsea would 0:08:01.360 --> 0:08:02.040 encourage you to do. 0:08:02.400 --> 0:08:04.760 By the way, girls, I sent you all boxes of 0:08:04.800 --> 0:08:07.520 clothes close I'm moving into my new house. 0:08:07.760 --> 0:08:08.720 I edited my closet. 0:08:08.720 --> 0:08:10.160 I sent you all boxes of clothes, and at the 0:08:10.280 --> 0:08:13.920 very last minute, Mollie came over and put a vibrator 0:08:13.960 --> 0:08:16.320 in each one of your packages. So just so you know, 0:08:16.440 --> 0:08:18.560 that is not from me, that's from Mollie trying to 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:19.080 be funny. 0:08:19.440 --> 0:08:23.440 That's actually would be the third vibrator that you have 0:08:23.560 --> 0:08:26.559 sent me, so I expect the first. 0:08:26.640 --> 0:08:29.680 Okay, well, I'm glad that we cleared that up. Now 0:08:29.720 --> 0:08:32.320 back to your cousinly vacation. I wanted you to talk 0:08:32.320 --> 0:08:34.520 a little bit about your dynamic between the three of 0:08:34.600 --> 0:08:37.560 you and how or if you think it mimiced the 0:08:37.600 --> 0:08:39.880 other three women in our families dynamic at all. 0:08:40.400 --> 0:08:42.720 Oh interesting, I don't really think about it that way. 0:08:42.760 --> 0:08:46.719 I mean, Chelsea, you're like such a standout, Like I 0:08:46.720 --> 0:08:51.360 don't think we really fully have a Chelsea in our generation. 0:08:51.400 --> 0:08:55.200 But I'd say Charlie is the closest because she just 0:08:55.800 --> 0:08:58.719 literally cracks me up. Twenty four to seven. She woke 0:08:58.840 --> 0:09:02.400 up one day and she goes, oh my God, like 0:09:02.520 --> 0:09:04.120 I had a great night of sleep, and then I 0:09:04.160 --> 0:09:06.520 woke up this morning in said of her and I 0:09:06.559 --> 0:09:10.920 were like a parfit all layered together, and who just 0:09:11.040 --> 0:09:15.880 comes up with it? She just cracks me up constantly. 0:09:16.559 --> 0:09:19.880 So maybe that's my only comparison to you is Charles. 0:09:20.400 --> 0:09:23.560 Charlie does have some really good, really good singers. She 0:09:23.640 --> 0:09:25.520 comes out with some stuff that you're like, are you 0:09:25.920 --> 0:09:29.600 a poet? Or are you on something? But it always 0:09:29.679 --> 0:09:31.800 makes sense once you start to think about it. 0:09:32.120 --> 0:09:35.200 Well, over the years, the three girls, we would always 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:39.240 try and see which sister we were, and it has 0:09:39.280 --> 0:09:43.160 definitely changed over the years, But there's always a gap. 0:09:43.640 --> 0:09:46.880 You're right, Jordan, it doesn't really fit. We've added some 0:09:47.480 --> 0:09:49.480 new things to the parfait, if you will. 0:09:53.240 --> 0:09:56.040 And then when we double, when we mix in our cousins, 0:09:56.360 --> 0:09:59.199 it's even better because they have young kids and they 0:09:59.240 --> 0:10:01.760 have babies, so then we can keep it youthful like 0:10:01.800 --> 0:10:04.680 this past year and Martha's Vineyard. I know you weren't there, Charlie, 0:10:04.760 --> 0:10:07.520 but we were, and we really enjoyed having. 0:10:07.240 --> 0:10:08.720 A younger dynamic there. 0:10:08.760 --> 0:10:10.960 And we actually that's when we started to threaten members 0:10:11.000 --> 0:10:13.440 of the family about doing that non anonymous three p. 0:10:13.520 --> 0:10:16.839 Sixty where we review each family member's performance and then 0:10:16.880 --> 0:10:18.040 make cuts based on that. 0:10:18.320 --> 0:10:19.240 Have you made the cuts? 0:10:19.320 --> 0:10:21.040 Yes, well I've made them into you know. 0:10:21.360 --> 0:10:23.680 I mean, I know what the cuts are, and everyone 0:10:23.720 --> 0:10:25.800 knows what my cuts are, so I don't even need 0:10:25.840 --> 0:10:26.720 to say it out loud. 0:10:28.440 --> 0:10:30.400 It seems like there's some people not invited to Myerica 0:10:30.400 --> 0:10:30.880 this year. 0:10:32.400 --> 0:10:34.960 But there's also so many other people to consider. 0:10:35.080 --> 0:10:38.000 We have so many cousins and everybody, I mean, and 0:10:38.080 --> 0:10:40.880 the girls and the kids all have are taking lovers. 0:10:41.240 --> 0:10:41.960 Oh my goodness, you. 0:10:41.960 --> 0:10:43.960 Know, I mean, there's just so many people in the 0:10:44.000 --> 0:10:44.960 mix to consider. 0:10:45.160 --> 0:10:46.360 You're out here multiplying. 0:10:46.559 --> 0:10:47.920 Maybe we need a new draft. 0:10:48.160 --> 0:10:52.680 I think so. I think I think that's what we need. 0:10:53.120 --> 0:10:57.760 We could hold some auditions, well yeah, I mean, or 0:10:57.840 --> 0:10:59.839 we test them out on a vacation and see what 0:11:00.040 --> 0:11:02.960 kind of grade they get. You know, like Molly's obviously 0:11:02.960 --> 0:11:05.560 an A plus, carries another A plus. Both of their 0:11:05.600 --> 0:11:07.760 babies are A pluses as far as I'm concerned, And 0:11:07.800 --> 0:11:10.240 I don't say that very often, but you know what 0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:12.760 I'm talking about. Do you guys think it's an advantage 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:14.480 that you come from such a big family? Do you 0:11:14.520 --> 0:11:16.160 feel like you come from a big family? 0:11:16.360 --> 0:11:19.760 Oh yeah, Oh yeah. I mean it's fun because I 0:11:19.800 --> 0:11:22.800 think like one of the things that I learned from 0:11:22.840 --> 0:11:25.920 this family is just leaning into chaos because there is 0:11:26.040 --> 0:11:28.720 no way of getting around it. And I think it's 0:11:28.760 --> 0:11:30.840 so easy to panic and be like, oh fuck, like 0:11:30.880 --> 0:11:33.840 everybody's a mess, and yeah, like they are a mess, 0:11:33.880 --> 0:11:36.840 but you just kind of go with it and you're like, 0:11:37.320 --> 0:11:39.679 appreciate everybody for the mess that they are. 0:11:39.640 --> 0:11:40.199 Instead of time. 0:11:40.600 --> 0:11:40.840 Nice. 0:11:40.960 --> 0:11:42.920 Yeah, that's a nice outlook to have. It's took me 0:11:43.000 --> 0:11:45.440 a long time to figure that out. I'd be like, 0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:47.920 why are you so fucking annoying, and then I have 0:11:47.960 --> 0:11:50.439 to realize, oh, they're just annoying. Go in the other direction. 0:11:50.720 --> 0:11:50.920 You know. 0:11:51.840 --> 0:11:53.680 Sometimes it's hard to get away from people though in 0:11:53.720 --> 0:11:55.880 our house, especially when there's so many of them. 0:11:56.000 --> 0:11:58.360 And especially when we're bunking up to the degree that 0:11:58.400 --> 0:11:58.679 we do. 0:11:58.760 --> 0:12:00.440 We do bunk up a lot because there's we have 0:12:00.520 --> 0:12:02.560 so many people that we have to get places that, 0:12:02.640 --> 0:12:04.480 you know, like half of us are sleeping in bunk beds. 0:12:04.480 --> 0:12:08.640 Obviously not us, mostly the boys, but sometimes it happens. Charlie, 0:12:08.640 --> 0:12:10.160 what about you? Do you feel like you come from 0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:10.920 a big family. 0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:11.920 I do. 0:12:12.080 --> 0:12:15.160 But the thing that kind of has resonated with me 0:12:15.840 --> 0:12:19.760 is the fection in our family, because I don't really 0:12:19.960 --> 0:12:23.520 I haven't really seen that in other people's family dynamics 0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:29.080 or my dad's branch of the family. Everybody's just super 0:12:29.200 --> 0:12:32.760 warm and loving and literally just touching each other struggling 0:12:32.840 --> 0:12:33.560 on the couch. 0:12:34.080 --> 0:12:36.920 Some would say it's slightly inappropriate, and I will take 0:12:36.960 --> 0:12:41.040 the responsibility for the inappropriateness. Jordan hasn't really been one 0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:46.120 of my victims because she because she rebuffed my advances 0:12:46.160 --> 0:12:48.480 from an early time, she had set a boundary. 0:12:48.679 --> 0:12:50.120 Oh see, that's my no No square. 0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:52.480 Yeah, and I was like, oh, and then I looked 0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:54.439 for another no No square, and then I found Charlie 0:12:54.480 --> 0:12:57.480 and Seneca and they loved my advances and they welcome them, 0:12:57.800 --> 0:13:00.800 and so I'm still doing it, you know. But yeah, 0:13:00.800 --> 0:13:03.320 there is a lot of affection going on. That's nice. 0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:03.920 That's nice. 0:13:03.960 --> 0:13:06.760 I mean, how could you argue with affection? Any family 0:13:06.800 --> 0:13:07.160 that's not. 0:13:07.160 --> 0:13:10.600 Affection is where the problems are. So we're problem we 0:13:10.640 --> 0:13:13.400 have problems, but nobody has any secrets. 0:13:13.760 --> 0:13:16.679 Yeah, how do you guys work out issues that come 0:13:16.760 --> 0:13:18.679 up in the family or when somebody is being annoying? 0:13:18.720 --> 0:13:21.120 Do you hash it out? How does that work from 0:13:21.160 --> 0:13:22.760 the next generation's perspective. 0:13:23.000 --> 0:13:25.400 Well, Seneca usually, who's not here to speak for herself, 0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:28.400 usually yells at everyone. So in that way, she's very 0:13:28.520 --> 0:13:31.679 much like me and her spot in the generation. She 0:13:31.720 --> 0:13:33.680 has no tolerance for the boys in our family, so 0:13:33.720 --> 0:13:35.320 she's like, shut that fuck up. 0:13:36.360 --> 0:13:40.400 Everything's out on the table, everything's up for grabs. Nobody's 0:13:40.480 --> 0:13:44.960 hiding anything, and if you're doing something that's weird, you're 0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:47.960 gonna get called out, and you deserve to be called out. 0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:53.080 I made Jordan and I two very strong, independent women 0:13:53.840 --> 0:13:56.240 and we call people out and we're okay with criticism. 0:13:56.760 --> 0:13:59.280 Yeah, I love that. That's great. I love that too. 0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:00.720 And on that note, we're going to take a break 0:14:00.720 --> 0:14:02.760 and we're going to be right back with my two 0:14:02.800 --> 0:14:08.160 nieces on Dear Chelsea. 0:14:08.240 --> 0:14:11.640 This week, we're looking for questions about dating, whether you're single, 0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:14.560 just starting to see someone, or out there on the apps. 0:14:14.840 --> 0:14:17.280 Right in with your questions to Dear Chelsea podcast at 0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:18.040 gmail dot. 0:14:17.880 --> 0:14:20.880 Com, and we're back with Jordan and Charlie. Okay, my 0:14:20.960 --> 0:14:21.800 nieces are here today. 0:14:21.840 --> 0:14:23.240 So this is so cute. I love it. 0:14:23.560 --> 0:14:24.800 Hit it all right. 0:14:24.960 --> 0:14:29.320 Well, our first question comes from cc CC says Dear Chelsea. 0:14:29.880 --> 0:14:32.600 I'm a twenty three year old student. My current boyfriend 0:14:32.640 --> 0:14:35.040 and I met in an art class about four months ago. 0:14:35.400 --> 0:14:37.760 We've been dating for three months. At the beginning of 0:14:37.760 --> 0:14:40.160 our relationship, I told him I'm a person that's really 0:14:40.160 --> 0:14:42.240 afraid of commitment and that we need to take it 0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:44.880 slow because of that. Since then, we've met each other's 0:14:44.880 --> 0:14:48.000 families a few times, gotten each other really personal gifts, 0:14:48.040 --> 0:14:50.200 and just recently came back from a five day trip 0:14:50.240 --> 0:14:53.080 to Colorado with him and his family. So as you 0:14:53.080 --> 0:14:56.320 can see, the taking it slow quickly got out of hand. 0:14:56.880 --> 0:14:58.880 As much as I like him, I've always been used 0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:02.600 to being very independent, self sufficient and alone, and lately 0:15:02.640 --> 0:15:05.120 I've been extremely focused on my career and my life, 0:15:05.160 --> 0:15:07.120 and I haven't really given too much thought or worry 0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:10.080 to my relationship since in my head, I was still 0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:13.840 taking it slow. However, a couple of days after coming 0:15:13.880 --> 0:15:17.400 back from Colorado, my boyfriend texted me that he's in 0:15:17.440 --> 0:15:20.480 love with me. Yes, he texted you, he texted me. 0:15:20.760 --> 0:15:21.960 She says. 0:15:22.440 --> 0:15:24.280 This is also the time to point out that he's 0:15:24.320 --> 0:15:27.520 three years younger than me, so he's twenty. I told 0:15:27.600 --> 0:15:30.040 him this was a conversation to be had in person, 0:15:30.360 --> 0:15:35.200 not over tich someone else, but that I was not 0:15:35.240 --> 0:15:37.480 on the same page as him. I'm writing to you 0:15:37.480 --> 0:15:40.200 because I officially do not know what to do. How 0:15:40.200 --> 0:15:42.480 do I go about this? Should I still be with him? 0:15:42.640 --> 0:15:44.480 Or is this a big enough issue to break up? 0:15:44.880 --> 0:15:46.600 I don't want to lead him on by telling him 0:15:46.640 --> 0:15:48.560 I might or might not fall in love with him 0:15:48.640 --> 0:15:51.160 later down the line, but I do like being with him. 0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:53.280 I just feel too young still, and saying I love 0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:55.720 you to someone is just something I don't see myself 0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:57.080 doing for a long time. 0:15:57.320 --> 0:15:59.600 Cci, Okay, who wants to go first? 0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:04.360 I have some comments I think with the whole commitment issue. 0:16:04.960 --> 0:16:08.040 This is something I've been thinking about myself recently, just 0:16:08.080 --> 0:16:10.840 the idea of commitment, because I was in a pretty 0:16:10.880 --> 0:16:14.640 long relationship before college and now I'm on the other 0:16:14.720 --> 0:16:18.920 end of the spectrum. But you can't really force yourself 0:16:18.920 --> 0:16:23.080 into wanting commitment. If it's not there, it's not going 0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:25.840 to be there, and that's not something that can artificially 0:16:26.000 --> 0:16:30.160 come about. So I think you might owe it to 0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:34.720 yourself and to your little lover to kind of establish 0:16:34.720 --> 0:16:37.520 a boundary and maybe distance yourself. 0:16:38.840 --> 0:16:42.760 Establish a boundary, and then distance yourself from a boundary 0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:43.760 back away. 0:16:46.400 --> 0:16:50.960 Jordan, I actually went through something very similar when I 0:16:51.040 --> 0:16:54.880 first started dating my partner. It was a long time ago, 0:16:55.080 --> 0:16:58.520 and he asked me if if I wanted to be 0:16:58.560 --> 0:17:02.840 a his girlfriend, and I had said no originally because 0:17:02.880 --> 0:17:04.359 I just wasn't ready, like. 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:06.800 It seemed too serious. For whatever reason. 0:17:06.880 --> 0:17:09.760 Certain labels or certain words I feel like trigger us 0:17:09.800 --> 0:17:12.000 and it tells you a little bit something about yourself 0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:14.879 that you should probably dig into. But then he was 0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:17.760 like okay, and then he kind of bounced, and I 0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:19.399 was like, whoa wha, whoa. Wait a minute, Like I 0:17:19.400 --> 0:17:21.520 thought we could sort of do this half half in, 0:17:21.600 --> 0:17:24.120 half out thing, and then I realized I missed him, 0:17:24.800 --> 0:17:28.320 and I was like, wait, wait, let's pick this back 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:30.679 up and just move a little slower. And So I 0:17:30.720 --> 0:17:34.399 feel like, if you step away and you don't miss 0:17:34.440 --> 0:17:38.120 that person, or you're just not really interested in reconnecting, 0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:40.520 that's a big sign that you shouldn't be moving in 0:17:40.520 --> 0:17:43.919 that direction or spending any more time. But I also 0:17:44.040 --> 0:17:46.760 feel like when we say we have commitment issues, it's 0:17:46.800 --> 0:17:49.199 something like you need to challenge or dig into a 0:17:49.200 --> 0:17:52.000 little bit more. Because for me, it was something of 0:17:52.080 --> 0:17:54.840 like I just wanted to be this strong person and 0:17:54.880 --> 0:17:57.679 I didn't ever want to be vulnerable. But if you 0:17:57.800 --> 0:18:00.359 ever want to have a relationship that matters and that 0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:03.159 you actually care about, you have to do that. So 0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:05.919 I don't know, I would look at both sides of it. 0:18:05.920 --> 0:18:08.959 It's like, if it's not this person, it's not this person. 0:18:09.520 --> 0:18:11.760 But if it's a commitment issue and you want to 0:18:11.760 --> 0:18:13.600 figure that out, I would figure that out. 0:18:13.840 --> 0:18:16.480 Yeah, I think that's very sagacious because you know, it's 0:18:16.640 --> 0:18:18.160 it is two things she's. 0:18:18.000 --> 0:18:19.080 Talking about a little bit. 0:18:19.240 --> 0:18:22.320 But also with with you know, when someone says that 0:18:22.359 --> 0:18:25.160 I love you and you don't feel that way, I 0:18:25.200 --> 0:18:28.600 really believe it is the person, the recipient's responsibility to 0:18:28.640 --> 0:18:33.120