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Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea, you're on the move. I am

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Speaker 1: almost on my way to New Zealand.

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Speaker 2: Oh how exciting.

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Speaker 1: I mean my last week. I have my friends here.

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Speaker 3: It's my friend's birthday week, so there's a lot of

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Speaker 3: men and women.

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Speaker 2: At my house.

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Speaker 3: They're all out right now, so I can record my

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Speaker 3: podcast because I'm the only one who's remaining professional while

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Speaker 3: I'm on vacation.

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Speaker 4: Have you reconnected with any old flames from MAJORCA from

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Speaker 4: before or anything.

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Speaker 3: That I have, Catherine, you know that I have. I'm

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Speaker 3: not here spinning my wheels on a bicycle all the time, Okay,

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Speaker 3: I'm getting a lot of activity, just spending something else. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 3: I'm very busy, Chelsea.

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Speaker 4: Paula wrote in, and I think this is something really

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Speaker 4: good to share because we talk a lot about like

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Speaker 4: go get some therapy, but not everybody can afford that therapy.

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Speaker 3: But Paula says, and support groups are typically free, right,

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Speaker 3: exactly exactly.

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Speaker 4: If you can't afford something, a lot of times there's

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Speaker 4: free group therapy, support groups, all that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 4: So take a look at what exists in your area.

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Speaker 4: Paula says, I run a therapy center and I have

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Speaker 4: to tell you I have plout what you're doing and

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Speaker 4: think you would both make fabulous therapists. That's very sweet.

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Speaker 4: I'm an avid listener. I heard one of your callers

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Speaker 4: share that they would like to go to therapy but

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Speaker 4: can't afford it, and I'm reaching out to let you

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Speaker 4: know there are options for low income individuals to access

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Speaker 4: quality therapy. If any of your callers are from California

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Speaker 4: specifically and need mental health assistance, please let them know

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Speaker 4: about Pelican Cove Counseling Center, where a nonprofit and offer

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Speaker 4: a sliding scale fee structure to ensure all have access

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Speaker 4: to quality, long term therapy. You can just direct them

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Speaker 4: to our website and hit the contact link at the

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Speaker 4: top navigation bar. A therapist will reach out in twenty

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Speaker 4: four hours Pelicancove dot org. And I think that's amazing.

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Speaker 4: There are resources like that in every single state, so like,

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Speaker 4: really this stuff is a Google away.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you for that writing that in.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you, Paula. And people reach out to Pelican Cove.

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Speaker 4: A lot of places have sliding scale and that sort

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Speaker 4: of thing.

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Speaker 1: If lighting scales where it's at for payments and for grades.

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Speaker 3: I appreciated slighting scales when I was growing up exactly.

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Speaker 1: It's like I really got a seventy.

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Speaker 3: But because everybody else is, I'm an idiot too, I

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Speaker 3: got an idea.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, thank you, love it, Chelsea.

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Speaker 4: We have some very special guests today, maybe even more

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Speaker 4: special than our normal guests.

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Speaker 1: Okay, these are my nieces.

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Speaker 3: I have three nieces, and two of my nieces are

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Speaker 3: represented in today's episode.

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Speaker 1: Jordan Ray and Charlie Day. How cute is that?

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Speaker 3: And they're both very good at giving advice Catherine in

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Speaker 3: their own peer groups and within our family. So I

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Speaker 3: thought there would be a great addition to the podcast

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Speaker 3: because they're both very smart. Charlie's in college, Jordan's just graduate,

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Speaker 3: well not just graduated from college, but she's a college

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Speaker 3: graduate making her way in the world today as a

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Speaker 3: working woe man, and which Charlie will be soon following suit.

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Speaker 5: So Hi girls, Hi, Hello, how are you?

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Speaker 1: Thanks for coming on the podcast together. How cute a

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Speaker 1: is this?

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Speaker 6: I love it me too, I'm so happy to be here.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Charlie, I know you're a year ended at Emory

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Speaker 3: University and Jordan just started a new job a few

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Speaker 3: months ago. So these girls are very busy, and one

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Speaker 3: of them is living in Sinn currently on the east coast. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and then start yeah, and it's also called a river.

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Speaker 3: She's living with her she has a living lover.

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Speaker 2: What's the river?

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Speaker 1: Oh, the Jordan river.

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Speaker 3: Sorry, I was gonna say it's also the name of

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Speaker 3: a river, but it came out wrong. I'm so busy

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Speaker 3: about putting my verbs announce in opposite directions in Spanish

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Speaker 3: every morning that now I'm.

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Speaker 1: Doing it in English. I'm like, wait, what river Jordan?

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Speaker 3: No, Jordan lives with her boyfriend on the east coast

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Speaker 3: and she just started a cool job. So I want

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Speaker 3: to hear about how your this past year went for

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Speaker 3: both of you. Jordan, you tell us how your new

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Speaker 3: job is going, how your new city is going.

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Speaker 5: Yeah. So it's funny because right around this time last year,

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Speaker 5: I actually quit my last job, like I think it

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Speaker 5: was like on my birthday last year. So that was

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Speaker 5: really fun.

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Speaker 1: And what kind of job was that? Tell everybody what

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Speaker 1: you did there?

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Speaker 5: It was a content creating kind of job, but it

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Speaker 5: was in the techy kind of well being space. It

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Speaker 5: was just very corporate and it just wasn't fun like

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Speaker 5: it was supposed to be. Purposeful, but then you get

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Speaker 5: so jaded in those kinds of environments. It just was

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Speaker 5: not fun anymore. So I kind of decided, like, I

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Speaker 5: want to change career paths. I want to move to

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Speaker 5: a new city. I want to try out somewhere other

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Speaker 5: than New Jersey because we've all been in New Jersey

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Speaker 5: for so long. I just wanted to try a different state.

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Speaker 5: And so we moved and I am now a company.

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Speaker 5: It's a production company that's social impact driven and mission driven,

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Speaker 5: and so it feels a lot more purposeful than before.

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Speaker 5: And I'm getting into I don't know if I'm stepping

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Speaker 5: on your toes content of being in the entertainment space

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Speaker 5: trying not to, but.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, that's what I'm doing.

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Speaker 3: She got a job working with Shelley to Gilsky Pandemic

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Speaker 3: of Love, as everyone knows on this podcast, among many

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Speaker 3: other things, copious amounts of things. Shelley is she's a

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Speaker 3: busy lady. So she and Samoe and my sister are

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Speaker 3: very close. And she met Jordan and so she yeah,

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Speaker 3: she helped Jordan get a job in her company.

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Speaker 1: So that's awesome. And Charlie tell us about.

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Speaker 3: Your freshman year in college, because the pictures were they

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Speaker 3: looked like you were having a great time.

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Speaker 6: That's absolutely correct, Listen, I was looking forward to college,

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Speaker 6: but I didn't even know what was one step away.

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Speaker 6: It was great.

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Speaker 3: You didn't know how exciting this experience was gonna be, right, No, I.

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Speaker 6: Mean so many different areas of my life have been

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Speaker 6: improved after moving away from suburban New Jersey.

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Speaker 8: Who could have known?

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Speaker 1: And you like actually going to school, right, yeah?

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Speaker 6: I mean I'm a bit of a nerd and I

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Speaker 6: actually really enjoy school. But I mean there are so

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Speaker 6: many great parts of freshman year outside of school.

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Speaker 3: How would you balance your work life, Charlie in school

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Speaker 3: this year with your party life? What would you say

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Speaker 3: the appropriate college balance has been that you found?

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Speaker 6: Well, Chelsea, I'm I've been towing the line more and

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Speaker 6: more and I'm waiting for things to blow up and

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Speaker 6: they haven't yet. So I'm just kind of upping the anti.

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Speaker 3: Blow up in a good way or blow up in

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Speaker 3: a and like deleterious manner, Which which kind of blow

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Speaker 3: up are you looking for?

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Speaker 6: As the year progressed, party levels went up more, I

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Speaker 6: upped the anti and things haven't exactly crashed and burned yet,

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Speaker 6: So I'm just kind of waiting for that point.

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Speaker 3: Okay, right, so you're just going to enjoy the ride

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Speaker 3: until you have to tone it down a notch. I

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Speaker 3: understand what you're saying. I think, yes exactly, Jordan. Was

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Speaker 3: that your experience your first year in college as well?

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Speaker 5: No, I was super lame in college and you didn't

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Speaker 5: go out very much. I also am a nerd and I.

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Speaker 7: Just was like super obsessed with getting good grades.

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Speaker 5: And also I did not go to like a good

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Speaker 5: school for partying, but I figured it out over time.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you figured out how to get your party on.

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Speaker 5: You mean, oh yeah, it's mostly involved alcohol and just

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Speaker 5: not worrying too much.

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Speaker 3: Yes, we're a very pro cannabis family. I don't know

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Speaker 3: if anyone's picked up on that vibe yet. Now, girls,

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Speaker 3: I know that you recently went on a trip the

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Speaker 3: three girls, so you know, everyone has knows. I have

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Speaker 3: two sisters and I have three nieces, so it's perfect.

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Speaker 3: So we have three three and three, and then our

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Speaker 3: closest cousins are also three girls, so it's perfect because

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Speaker 3: we just like to multiply females in groups of three.

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Speaker 3: I know you recently went on a cousin's trip with

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Speaker 3: Seneca the three of you, Can you tell me about

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Speaker 3: that and what kind of cousin bonding you guys got

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Speaker 3: up to.

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Speaker 6: We all live in different areas of the country. I'm

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Speaker 6: in the South, Jordan's always moving around, Sennny's in San

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Speaker 6: Francisco or wherever. So we always need to squeeze in

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Speaker 6: as much bonding as possible and in a short amount

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Speaker 6: of time. And if you think it can't be done,

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Speaker 6: we always prove you wrong. Every time we ate, we laughed,

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Speaker 6: we drank other things.

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Speaker 4: It was beautiful, other things like your aunt Chelsea would

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Speaker 4: encourage you to do.

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Speaker 3: By the way, girls, I sent you all boxes of

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Speaker 3: clothes close I'm moving into my new house.

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Speaker 1: I edited my closet.

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Speaker 3: I sent you all boxes of clothes, and at the

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Speaker 3: very last minute, Mollie came over and put a vibrator

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Speaker 3: in each one of your packages. So just so you know,

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Speaker 3: that is not from me, that's from Mollie trying to

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Speaker 3: be funny.

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Speaker 6: That's actually would be the third vibrator that you have

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Speaker 6: sent me, so I expect the first.

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Speaker 3: Okay, well, I'm glad that we cleared that up. Now

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Speaker 3: back to your cousinly vacation. I wanted you to talk

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Speaker 3: a little bit about your dynamic between the three of

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Speaker 3: you and how or if you think it mimiced the

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Speaker 3: other three women in our families dynamic at all.

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Speaker 5: Oh interesting, I don't really think about it that way.

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Speaker 5: I mean, Chelsea, you're like such a standout, Like I

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Speaker 5: don't think we really fully have a Chelsea in our generation.

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Speaker 5: But I'd say Charlie is the closest because she just

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Speaker 5: literally cracks me up. Twenty four to seven. She woke

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Speaker 5: up one day and she goes, oh my God, like

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Speaker 5: I had a great night of sleep, and then I

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Speaker 5: woke up this morning in said of her and I

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Speaker 5: were like a parfit all layered together, and who just

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Speaker 5: comes up with it? She just cracks me up constantly.

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Speaker 5: So maybe that's my only comparison to you is Charles.

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Speaker 3: Charlie does have some really good, really good singers. She

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Speaker 3: comes out with some stuff that you're like, are you

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Speaker 3: a poet? Or are you on something? But it always

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Speaker 3: makes sense once you start to think about it.

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Speaker 6: Well, over the years, the three girls, we would always

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Speaker 6: try and see which sister we were, and it has

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Speaker 6: definitely changed over the years, But there's always a gap.

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Speaker 6: You're right, Jordan, it doesn't really fit. We've added some

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Speaker 6: new things to the parfait, if you will.

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Speaker 3: And then when we double, when we mix in our cousins,

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Speaker 3: it's even better because they have young kids and they

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Speaker 3: have babies, so then we can keep it youthful like

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Speaker 3: this past year and Martha's Vineyard. I know you weren't there, Charlie,

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Speaker 3: but we were, and we really enjoyed having.

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Speaker 1: A younger dynamic there.

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Speaker 3: And we actually that's when we started to threaten members

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Speaker 3: of the family about doing that non anonymous three p.

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Speaker 3: Sixty where we review each family member's performance and then

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Speaker 3: make cuts based on that.

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Speaker 7: Have you made the cuts?

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Speaker 1: Yes, well I've made them into you know.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I know what the cuts are, and everyone

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Speaker 3: knows what my cuts are, so I don't even need

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Speaker 3: to say it out loud.

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Speaker 2: It seems like there's some people not invited to Myerica

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Speaker 2: this year.

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Speaker 1: But there's also so many other people to consider.

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Speaker 3: We have so many cousins and everybody, I mean, and

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Speaker 3: the girls and the kids all have are taking lovers.

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, you.

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Speaker 1: Know, I mean, there's just so many people in the

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Speaker 1: mix to consider.

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Speaker 2: You're out here multiplying.

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Speaker 5: Maybe we need a new draft.

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Speaker 1: I think so. I think I think that's what we need.

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Speaker 3: We could hold some auditions, well yeah, I mean, or

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Speaker 3: we test them out on a vacation and see what

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Speaker 3: kind of grade they get. You know, like Molly's obviously

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Speaker 3: an A plus, carries another A plus. Both of their

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Speaker 3: babies are A pluses as far as I'm concerned, And

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Speaker 3: I don't say that very often, but you know what

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Speaker 3: I'm talking about. Do you guys think it's an advantage

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Speaker 3: that you come from such a big family? Do you

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Speaker 3: feel like you come from a big family?

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Speaker 5: Oh yeah, Oh yeah. I mean it's fun because I

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Speaker 5: think like one of the things that I learned from

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Speaker 5: this family is just leaning into chaos because there is

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Speaker 5: no way of getting around it. And I think it's

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Speaker 5: so easy to panic and be like, oh fuck, like

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Speaker 5: everybody's a mess, and yeah, like they are a mess,

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Speaker 5: but you just kind of go with it and you're like,

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Speaker 5: appreciate everybody for the mess that they are.

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Speaker 7: Instead of time.

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Speaker 1: Nice.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a nice outlook to have. It's took me

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Speaker 3: a long time to figure that out. I'd be like,

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Speaker 3: why are you so fucking annoying, and then I have

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Speaker 3: to realize, oh, they're just annoying. Go in the other direction.

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Speaker 9: You know.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes it's hard to get away from people though in

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Speaker 3: our house, especially when there's so many of them.

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Speaker 5: And especially when we're bunking up to the degree that

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Speaker 5: we do.

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Speaker 3: We do bunk up a lot because there's we have

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Speaker 3: so many people that we have to get places that,

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Speaker 3: you know, like half of us are sleeping in bunk beds.

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Speaker 3: Obviously not us, mostly the boys, but sometimes it happens. Charlie,

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Speaker 3: what about you? Do you feel like you come from

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Speaker 3: a big family.

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Speaker 7: I do.

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Speaker 6: But the thing that kind of has resonated with me

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Speaker 6: is the fection in our family, because I don't really

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Speaker 6: I haven't really seen that in other people's family dynamics

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Speaker 6: or my dad's branch of the family. Everybody's just super

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Speaker 6: warm and loving and literally just touching each other struggling

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Speaker 6: on the couch.

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Speaker 3: Some would say it's slightly inappropriate, and I will take

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Speaker 3: the responsibility for the inappropriateness. Jordan hasn't really been one

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Speaker 3: of my victims because she because she rebuffed my advances

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Speaker 3: from an early time, she had set a boundary.

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Speaker 5: Oh see, that's my no No square.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I was like, oh, and then I looked

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Speaker 3: for another no No square, and then I found Charlie

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Speaker 3: and Seneca and they loved my advances and they welcome them,

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Speaker 3: and so I'm still doing it, you know. But yeah,

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Speaker 3: there is a lot of affection going on. That's nice.

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Speaker 3: That's nice.

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Speaker 1: I mean, how could you argue with affection? Any family

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Speaker 1: that's not.

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Speaker 3: Affection is where the problems are. So we're problem we

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Speaker 3: have problems, but nobody has any secrets.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, how do you guys work out issues that come

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Speaker 4: up in the family or when somebody is being annoying?

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Speaker 4: Do you hash it out? How does that work from

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Speaker 4: the next generation's perspective.

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Speaker 3: Well, Seneca usually, who's not here to speak for herself,

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Speaker 3: usually yells at everyone. So in that way, she's very

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Speaker 3: much like me and her spot in the generation. She

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Speaker 3: has no tolerance for the boys in our family, so

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Speaker 3: she's like, shut that fuck up.

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Speaker 6: Everything's out on the table, everything's up for grabs. Nobody's

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Speaker 6: hiding anything, and if you're doing something that's weird, you're

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Speaker 6: gonna get called out, and you deserve to be called out.

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Speaker 6: I made Jordan and I two very strong, independent women

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Speaker 6: and we call people out and we're okay with criticism.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. That's great. I love that too.

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Speaker 3: And on that note, we're going to take a break

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Speaker 3: and we're going to be right back with my two

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Speaker 3: nieces on Dear Chelsea.

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Speaker 4: This week, we're looking for questions about dating, whether you're single,

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Speaker 4: just starting to see someone, or out there on the apps.

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Speaker 4: Right in with your questions to Dear Chelsea podcast at

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Speaker 4: gmail dot.

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Speaker 3: Com, and we're back with Jordan and Charlie. Okay, my

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Speaker 3: nieces are here today.

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Speaker 1: So this is so cute. I love it.

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Speaker 2: Hit it all right.

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Speaker 4: Well, our first question comes from cc CC says Dear Chelsea.

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Speaker 4: I'm a twenty three year old student. My current boyfriend

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Speaker 4: and I met in an art class about four months ago.

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Speaker 4: We've been dating for three months. At the beginning of

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Speaker 4: our relationship, I told him I'm a person that's really

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Speaker 4: afraid of commitment and that we need to take it

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Speaker 4: slow because of that. Since then, we've met each other's

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Speaker 4: families a few times, gotten each other really personal gifts,

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Speaker 4: and just recently came back from a five day trip

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Speaker 4: to Colorado with him and his family. So as you

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Speaker 4: can see, the taking it slow quickly got out of hand.

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Speaker 4: As much as I like him, I've always been used

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Speaker 4: to being very independent, self sufficient and alone, and lately

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Speaker 4: I've been extremely focused on my career and my life,

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Speaker 4: and I haven't really given too much thought or worry

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Speaker 4: to my relationship since in my head, I was still

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Speaker 4: taking it slow. However, a couple of days after coming

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Speaker 4: back from Colorado, my boyfriend texted me that he's in

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Speaker 4: love with me. Yes, he texted you, he texted me.

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Speaker 2: She says.

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Speaker 4: This is also the time to point out that he's

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Speaker 4: three years younger than me, so he's twenty. I told

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Speaker 4: him this was a conversation to be had in person,

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Speaker 4: not over tich someone else, but that I was not

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Speaker 4: on the same page as him. I'm writing to you

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Speaker 4: because I officially do not know what to do. How

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Speaker 4: do I go about this? Should I still be with him?

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Speaker 4: Or is this a big enough issue to break up?

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Speaker 4: I don't want to lead him on by telling him

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Speaker 4: I might or might not fall in love with him

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Speaker 4: later down the line, but I do like being with him.

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Speaker 4: I just feel too young still, and saying I love

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Speaker 4: you to someone is just something I don't see myself

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Speaker 4: doing for a long time.

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Speaker 1: Cci, Okay, who wants to go first?

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Speaker 6: I have some comments I think with the whole commitment issue.

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Speaker 6: This is something I've been thinking about myself recently, just

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Speaker 6: the idea of commitment, because I was in a pretty

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Speaker 6: long relationship before college and now I'm on the other

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Speaker 6: end of the spectrum. But you can't really force yourself

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Speaker 6: into wanting commitment. If it's not there, it's not going

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Speaker 6: to be there, and that's not something that can artificially

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Speaker 6: come about. So I think you might owe it to

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Speaker 6: yourself and to your little lover to kind of establish

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Speaker 6: a boundary and maybe distance yourself.

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Speaker 3: Establish a boundary, and then distance yourself from a boundary

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Speaker 3: back away.

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Speaker 5: Jordan, I actually went through something very similar when I

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Speaker 5: first started dating my partner. It was a long time ago,

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Speaker 5: and he asked me if if I wanted to be

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Speaker 5: a his girlfriend, and I had said no originally because

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Speaker 5: I just wasn't ready, like.

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Speaker 7: It seemed too serious. For whatever reason.

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Speaker 5: Certain labels or certain words I feel like trigger us

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Speaker 5: and it tells you a little bit something about yourself

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Speaker 5: that you should probably dig into. But then he was

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Speaker 5: like okay, and then he kind of bounced, and I

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Speaker 5: was like, whoa wha, whoa. Wait a minute, Like I

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Speaker 5: thought we could sort of do this half half in,

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Speaker 5: half out thing, and then I realized I missed him,

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Speaker 5: and I was like, wait, wait, let's pick this back

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Speaker 5: up and just move a little slower. And So I

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Speaker 5: feel like, if you step away and you don't miss

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Speaker 5: that person, or you're just not really interested in reconnecting,

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Speaker 5: that's a big sign that you shouldn't be moving in

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Speaker 5: that direction or spending any more time. But I also

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Speaker 5: feel like when we say we have commitment issues, it's

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Speaker 5: something like you need to challenge or dig into a

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Speaker 5: little bit more. Because for me, it was something of

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Speaker 5: like I just wanted to be this strong person and

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Speaker 5: I didn't ever want to be vulnerable. But if you

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Speaker 5: ever want to have a relationship that matters and that

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Speaker 5: you actually care about, you have to do that. So

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Speaker 5: I don't know, I would look at both sides of it.

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Speaker 5: It's like, if it's not this person, it's not this person.

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Speaker 5: But if it's a commitment issue and you want to

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Speaker 5: figure that out, I would figure that out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's very sagacious because you know, it's

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Speaker 3: it is two things she's.

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Speaker 1: Talking about a little bit.

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Speaker 3: But also with with you know, when someone says that

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Speaker 3: I love you and you don't feel that way, I

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Speaker 3: really believe it is the person, the recipient's responsibility to

401
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Speaker 3: make it very clear that those feelings are not being reciprocated,

402
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Speaker 3: so that that person can have some truth on their side.

403
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Speaker 3: They just said something that's very vulnerable, and even though

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Speaker 3: you are not matching it, it's nice to be like,

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I don't feel that way yet, or I

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Speaker 3: don't feel that way now, or however you can say

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Speaker 3: it to kind of, but be honest about it, you know,

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Speaker 3: and also be honest about the fact that if they're

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Speaker 3: in love with you and you don't feel that way,

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Speaker 3: it probably means that you're not in love with them.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Usually if people are in love, they're feeling it, not.

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Speaker 7: One being like you back.

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Speaker 1: And the other person's look, I'm closer. No, it's not

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Speaker 1: like that, I know.

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Speaker 3: And also to anyone listening, when someone says I love

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Speaker 3: you and it makes you have a reaction like that's

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Speaker 3: not a good thing, that's not good. That's not because

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Speaker 3: you're too young or you're a commitment foe. That just

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Speaker 3: means that person is not your person or one of

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Speaker 3: your people. If you think you're too young at twenty three, right, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: you are too young to be like in love or

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Speaker 3: expectations of being love. But if this is a like

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Speaker 3: a recurring theme in your life, or it becomes one

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Speaker 3: where you're like, I just don't want a relationship, I

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Speaker 3: don't want a relationship, then yes, it probably is a

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Speaker 3: commitment issue.

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Speaker 1: I've definitely been there myself as well.

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Speaker 3: But I think being honest with the other person, you know,

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Speaker 3: is also really the most important thing.

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Speaker 1: It's just everyone has so nobody gets confused, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean.

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Speaker 3: And if you really don't think you're going down that road,

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Speaker 3: be honest about that too, and like or not be honest,

435
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Speaker 3: but you know, separate yourself from that person so that

436
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Speaker 3: you can give them a chance to find someone who

437
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Speaker 3: also does feel the same way. So yeah, yeah, especially

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Speaker 3: if you if you don't care, you know, Okay, So good.

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Speaker 1: Luck with that. What's her name Charlotte cec Cca, Charlotte, Charlotte.

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Speaker 1: She's a sophomore. She's her name is Charlotte.

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Speaker 2: It's probably short for Carlett. Let's be honest.

442
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:24,400
Speaker 4: Well, Sophie is our first caller today, and she's calling

443
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:28,080
Speaker 4: from Canada. She says, Dear Chelsea, my name is Sophie,

444
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:28,760
Speaker 4: and Anna.

445
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:32,040
Speaker 1: Is a trigger for me, A happy trigger, now still

446
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:32,800
Speaker 1: a trigger.

447
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,880
Speaker 4: Recently, I've been struggling with the idea of leaving home

448
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:39,480
Speaker 4: and going to university. I got into McGill, a university

449
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:41,760
Speaker 4: in Montreal, which is a couple hours from where I

450
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,160
Speaker 4: live right now, so I will have to move out

451
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:47,520
Speaker 4: in the fall. McGill is my dream university, although I

452
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,240
Speaker 4: don't feel excited or any of the feelings you're supposed

453
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:52,840
Speaker 4: to feel when you get into your dream university, because

454
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,840
Speaker 4: I know this means it's the end of the part

455
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:57,240
Speaker 4: of my life that's familiar and the beginning of a

456
00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:00,480
Speaker 4: new one that's so unknown. Although I do know moving

457
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,280
Speaker 4: away is the best thing for me, it makes me

458
00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:04,520
Speaker 4: really sad to think that once I move out, it's

459
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:06,639
Speaker 4: going to be the end, not to be dramatic of

460
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,840
Speaker 4: basically my childhood. I'm so grateful that I'm able to

461
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 4: go to such a nice university and be supported by

462
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,159
Speaker 4: my family, but I'm really dreading this new part of

463
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,800
Speaker 4: my life. I'm wondering how Jordan Charlie dealt with these

464
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:18,600
Speaker 4: kinds of changes in their lives, and if they have

465
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,800
Speaker 4: any advice kind regards Sophie.

466
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,920
Speaker 1: Hi, Sophie, Hi, so Hi.

467
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,320
Speaker 3: Oh my god, how cute are you too? Look at

468
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:28,919
Speaker 3: Charlie and Sophie are side by side. They look like

469
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:32,440
Speaker 3: they could be sitting in the same room on the zoom. Well,

470
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:34,600
Speaker 3: you came to the right place since we have some

471
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,680
Speaker 3: college students and college graduates here.

472
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:39,280
Speaker 1: Okay, girls, go ahead. Jordan, why don't you go first?

473
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,160
Speaker 5: Well, I was going to say, I actually think Charlie

474
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:44,680
Speaker 5: should take this one first because she did this more

475
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:45,720
Speaker 5: recently than I did.

476
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,320
Speaker 7: So no, I'm happy to.

477
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:53,720
Speaker 6: It's really scary, kind of it seems like a very

478
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:58,160
Speaker 6: official end to your childhood in a way, and it's

479
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:01,440
Speaker 6: kind of scary to separate yourself from your parents. I

480
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,000
Speaker 6: don't know if that's something that you're feeling, but.

481
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:05,560
Speaker 8: Yeah, I know it is.

482
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:10,120
Speaker 6: You don't have to feel guilty about growing up and

483
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:13,040
Speaker 6: starting your life. That's not something that you have to

484
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:17,359
Speaker 6: feel guilty about. And it's really difficult to kind of

485
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:21,080
Speaker 6: separate the excitement of doing that from the guilt of

486
00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:24,080
Speaker 6: spending less time with your family or in your hometown.

487
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:28,800
Speaker 6: I think when you actually get to college, you'll see

488
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:32,800
Speaker 6: that there's this whole world out there waiting for you,

489
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:37,400
Speaker 6: and there's so much newness. And I'm telling you, when

490
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,879
Speaker 6: you go home, this was something I was afraid of.

491
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:41,880
Speaker 6: I was afraid that I would go home and things

492
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:45,560
Speaker 6: would feel kind of different, the dynamics or just the

493
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 6: feeling of my house even.

494
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:48,919
Speaker 8: And it's not.

495
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,560
Speaker 6: I assure you you'll come home and things just kind

496
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:55,960
Speaker 6: of rev back up and almost resume where they were.

497
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,680
Speaker 6: But it's definitely a scary time.

498
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,480
Speaker 10: Yeah, And I think it's just scary for me to

499
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:05,760
Speaker 10: think that, like, once I do move out, I can

500
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,800
Speaker 10: move back home, but it's not the same, it's not

501
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:10,480
Speaker 10: like the same dynamic, I feel like.

502
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:12,480
Speaker 8: I think that's what also freaks me out.

503
00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:15,359
Speaker 3: But like the end of an era, it is the

504
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 3: end of the era, but it's also like a rite

505
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:21,000
Speaker 3: of passage, like you're moving into something and everyone's a

506
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,199
Speaker 3: little bit scared to go to college. There's also a

507
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:25,840
Speaker 3: huge beginning happening, and it's really not the end. It's

508
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:28,080
Speaker 3: the end of your childhood. It is, but you're always

509
00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:31,439
Speaker 3: going to come home and you have so much to

510
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:34,720
Speaker 3: be excited about. What better time is there in life

511
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:36,480
Speaker 3: than to be a freshman in college.

512
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:37,680
Speaker 8: That's true.

513
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:39,720
Speaker 1: Did you have a hard time Jordan leaving?

514
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:44,680
Speaker 5: No, I didn't. I felt very ready when I went.

515
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:48,440
Speaker 5: But also, you know, over time, you start to miss

516
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:51,280
Speaker 5: the people that you grew up with, and it makes

517
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 5: total sense, And I think it sounds like you have

518
00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:56,400
Speaker 5: a great family, which is a total blessing.

519
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:58,000
Speaker 7: Because not everybody has that.

520
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:00,480
Speaker 5: So it's nice that you have something that you don't

521
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 5: want to leave and something that you can come back to.

522
00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:06,359
Speaker 5: But I think one of the cool things about coming

523
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:09,360
Speaker 5: back from college for the first time is figuring out

524
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:12,520
Speaker 5: those new dynamics. It's not all bad. You still get

525
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:14,960
Speaker 5: to be your parents' baby. They still they actually like

526
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,080
Speaker 5: babying you when you come back, believe it or not.

527
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,359
Speaker 5: And also you get to figure out like how to

528
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:23,200
Speaker 5: sort of be an adult with them without really having

529
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:25,040
Speaker 5: the responsibilities of being an adult.

530
00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:25,439
Speaker 7: Yet.

531
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:29,080
Speaker 5: It's a really cool in between stage where you get

532
00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:31,000
Speaker 5: to figure out how to be friends with your parents

533
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 5: and you see parts of your parents that you didn't

534
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:37,159
Speaker 5: see before. It's like unlocking also those relationships in a

535
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:40,520
Speaker 5: different way. So I get the fear, I get the anxiety.

536
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:44,760
Speaker 5: It's totally normal. I would try making a mental switch

537
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 5: in your head to excitement from that because there is

538
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,520
Speaker 5: a lot to be excited about and when you come

539
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:54,720
Speaker 5: home you just see just like absorb it, sit in

540
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 5: it and be happy to be there and see kind

541
00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:58,159
Speaker 5: of where it takes you.

542
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 7: But yeah, you have a lot to look forward to it.

543
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:02,680
Speaker 10: Yeah, that's the thing because I'm a really, like I

544
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:04,560
Speaker 10: think I'm a slow to warm up person.

545
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:07,360
Speaker 8: Like right now, I know, I'm really nervous.

546
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,320
Speaker 10: About it, but i know once I'm there, I'll warm

547
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:10,680
Speaker 10: up to it and I'll enjoy it.

548
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:12,360
Speaker 8: It's like the in between stage.

549
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:14,480
Speaker 3: But I think Jorady brought up a great point for

550
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 3: something that you can do. Whether it's like an exercise

551
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:18,239
Speaker 3: of you writing it down all the time, but like,

552
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,560
Speaker 3: think about how lucky you are to have grown up

553
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,720
Speaker 3: in a home that you really are like sad to leave.

554
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:25,600
Speaker 3: You're grateful for your parents, You're grateful for your bedroom,

555
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,480
Speaker 3: You're grateful for your house, You're grateful for all of

556
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:29,719
Speaker 3: your neighbors and all of the things that come with it.

557
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:32,399
Speaker 3: Just keep a journal of that, or write down a

558
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:35,040
Speaker 3: gratitude list, because that's going to help you move into

559
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,200
Speaker 3: the next phase of your life with a little bit

560
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:40,040
Speaker 3: more grace and a little less fear and it's okay

561
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,639
Speaker 3: to be scared. It's exciting. That means you care, you

562
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:44,520
Speaker 3: know what I mean. Being scared of something means you're

563
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 3: nervous and that you care, and that's okay too.

564
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 8: Yeah, that's totally true.

565
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:50,399
Speaker 1: Do you have any friends that from high school that

566
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:51,440
Speaker 1: are going to your college?

567
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 5: Yeah?

568
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:56,960
Speaker 10: Actually pretty much everyone I know is going to make Yelle.

569
00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,679
Speaker 10: But I do have my best friend who's going to

570
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:03,159
Speaker 10: be and it's like pretty much across the country, So

571
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:04,760
Speaker 10: I'm really gonna miss her.

572
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:06,080
Speaker 8: That's really gonna suck.

573
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:07,359
Speaker 1: But yeah, I.

574
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:09,879
Speaker 8: Didn't like you that I have so many friends going.

575
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's awesome.

576
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 3: So yeah, make sure you just like set up a

577
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:16,119
Speaker 3: nice like set time that you're gonna like see if

578
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 3: people you know throughout the year, whether it's once a

579
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:20,680
Speaker 3: week or twice a week. Get a high school group

580
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,440
Speaker 3: together and be like, I want to make sure we

581
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:25,159
Speaker 3: stay you know, close while we're in college, and like

582
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 3: get something going like a support group for like being you.

583
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:31,119
Speaker 1: Know, new freshman or whatever you want to do or

584
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 1: call it.

585
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:34,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, one thing that I did with my best friend

586
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:38,439
Speaker 6: she went to college up north and I'm down south.

587
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:42,879
Speaker 6: Every Monday, we would send five pictures from our week

588
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:47,840
Speaker 6: as a little dump to kind of fill each other in. Yeah,

589
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:49,359
Speaker 6: and it was a lot of fun because I would

590
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:51,720
Speaker 6: take pictures throughout the week thinking like, oh, I'm gonna

591
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:53,399
Speaker 6: send this to my friends, She's gonna think this is

592
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:57,000
Speaker 6: so funny. Yeah, and we could keep each other up

593
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:58,359
Speaker 6: to date and it was a ton of fun.

594
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,439
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's a really great idea.

595
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 3: Now you just have to find a social media platform

596
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:03,480
Speaker 3: where you can do that.

597
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:09,760
Speaker 4: On a couple little tricks too, to bring with you.

598
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:12,159
Speaker 4: First of all, like when you go if you're in

599
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:14,480
Speaker 4: a situation where you don't know anybody, like none of

600
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:17,119
Speaker 4: your friends are in that mixer or whatever, just know

601
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 4: like everybody else there has no friends there either, So like,

602
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:22,560
Speaker 4: don't be afraid to go up to people and be like, Hi,

603
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,480
Speaker 4: I'm so and so and like what's your name, and

604
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:26,199
Speaker 4: you know, because they might be feeling really out of

605
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,520
Speaker 4: place or nervous as well.

606
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 3: Well, that is a good point because everyone's in the

607
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,000
Speaker 3: same boat as you. It's not like you're going off

608
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 3: to war alone. And well that's not a good example

609
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:40,760
Speaker 3: either because people are going together to example, but you know,

610
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 3: at least you're in the same boat with everyone, Like

611
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:47,280
Speaker 3: everyone is new, so it's a perfect opportunity.

612
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:50,200
Speaker 5: Especially that first semester. It's the best time to make friends.

613
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:53,280
Speaker 5: Oh you can make friends over nothing. You can like,

614
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 5: you know, have a lecture hall together and sit next

615
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:57,800
Speaker 5: to each other once and now.

616
00:27:57,640 --> 00:27:59,240
Speaker 1: You yeah okay.

617
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 4: And the other thing I would say is say yes

618
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,959
Speaker 4: to everything that sounds fun. So if someone invites you

619
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:06,879
Speaker 4: or there's something you see that's like an event, you

620
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:09,240
Speaker 4: can go to say yes to absolutely everything for the

621
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:11,480
Speaker 4: first like six months, just so you can like be

622
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:13,359
Speaker 4: out there meeting people because you're not going to meet

623
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:14,480
Speaker 4: people sitting in your dorm room.

624
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:17,840
Speaker 8: Yeah, okay, thank you guys so much.

625
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:20,520
Speaker 3: Oh good, I feel like they gave me some really

626
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:24,240
Speaker 3: great advice today. Yeah, change that frame of mind around.

627
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:28,120
Speaker 3: I'm excited for you. You get excited for you too, good luck. Well,

628
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 3: thank you Okay, bye, Sophie.

629
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:34,159
Speaker 4: Bye bye. What a total cutie.

630
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:34,879
Speaker 1: Oh I know.

631
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 3: I just love the idea of wanting to stay home

632
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:42,520
Speaker 3: after or like really missing like I could not fucking

633
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,880
Speaker 3: meet when I was like nine or ten, I was

634
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,520
Speaker 3: like looking in the like want ads to see how

635
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:49,920
Speaker 3: old you?

636
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 6: Like?

637
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:52,880
Speaker 3: I was like, are there apartments that I could possibly afford, like,

638
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:54,880
Speaker 3: do you know in Australia?

639
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 1: How do I get the fuck out of here?

640
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 4: Well, our next question comes from G and this is

641
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 4: a write in, so she's not joining us today. G says,

642
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea. A few years ago, I lost all of

643
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,120
Speaker 4: my friends because I chose to stop being friends with

644
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:17,480
Speaker 4: the toxic one. Unfortunately, she was very manipulative and influenced

645
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:20,480
Speaker 4: the entire group to stop hanging out with me. Despite

646
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 4: the fallout being just between us two, I recently got engaged,

647
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:27,040
Speaker 4: and as excited as I am, I'm also dreading the

648
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 4: wedding planning because of my new lack of friends. I

649
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:32,440
Speaker 4: won't have the excitement of having a typical bridal party

650
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,200
Speaker 4: or bachelorette getaway, nor do I expect to ever be

651
00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:37,640
Speaker 4: part of one. Don't get me wrong, I have a

652
00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 4: few friends, but they're all spread out across the country

653
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:41,520
Speaker 4: and I don't think it would be feasible for any

654
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 4: of us to happen. My question is how can I

655
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:47,240
Speaker 4: make this process an exciting one despite the lack of support?

656
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:49,760
Speaker 4: How do I get over being so sad and lonely

657
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 4: in the social aspect of my life? Best?

658
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 1: G Oh, that sounds like a bummer.

659
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:57,880
Speaker 3: No, No, well, it just sounds like you're going to

660
00:29:57,920 --> 00:29:59,320
Speaker 3: have to make a new group of friends, and it's

661
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:02,120
Speaker 3: going to take an from where you live. Like I've

662
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 3: heard of these things happening with adult women before. It's

663
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:08,280
Speaker 3: so embarrassing, but it's happened to me, and I'm sure

664
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 3: I've done it to plenty of people.

665
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 1: So yeah, you just have to make a new set

666
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:12,040
Speaker 1: of friends.

667
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 3: And it does suck, but it is a time to

668
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 3: be like celebratory in your life, right, girls. I mean,

669
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:20,440
Speaker 3: you're getting married, You've got a great husband, and it's unfortunate,

670
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:22,360
Speaker 3: but at least you don't have that toxicity in your life.

671
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:24,280
Speaker 3: It's sad that it's at the expense of like all

672
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 3: the other friendships. But I would just focus on, you know,

673
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:29,479
Speaker 3: be open minded about who else you're going to hang

674
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 3: out with, and and and it will take time to

675
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 3: make a new circle of friends, and I would try.

676
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:37,960
Speaker 3: I would encourage you to do something for your wedding.

677
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:42,520
Speaker 3: As much as I fucking hate bachelorette parties, I would

678
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:44,960
Speaker 3: encourage you to celebrate yourself if that's what you want

679
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:46,720
Speaker 3: to do with your friends across the country and those

680
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 3: who can come could come, and if they can't, they can't.

681
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:52,200
Speaker 3: And yeah, I don't assume things can't happen just because

682
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:53,200
Speaker 3: you say they can't.

683
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:55,200
Speaker 7: Agreed, I totally agree.

684
00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:58,160
Speaker 5: Don't assume that they won't want to come or that

685
00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,560
Speaker 5: they can't make it. Always the least you can do

686
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:03,440
Speaker 5: is ask, And honestly, I mean, I don't know if

687
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:05,680
Speaker 5: you still want to be friends with any of those girls,

688
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:07,760
Speaker 5: but these kind of events are a great way to

689
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 5: reconnect with people that you haven't talked to in a while.

690
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:13,160
Speaker 5: If they're toxic, leave them behind. But if there was

691
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:15,760
Speaker 5: one or two of them that you were really close with,

692
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 5: this might be your opportunity to reconnect with them and

693
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:23,160
Speaker 5: kind of sidestep that toxic person. I'd also say avoid

694
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 5: feeling like you getting married has to be this perfect

695
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 5: momentous thing where all of these people come together in

696
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 5: the most perfect way. Like we get so pressured into

697
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:36,240
Speaker 5: feeling like it has to be your fairy tale moment

698
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:39,800
Speaker 5: and everything has to align perfectly. That's never going to

699
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:42,760
Speaker 5: happen no matter what. So lean into it just being

700
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:46,160
Speaker 5: a happy day for you, whatever that means, and focus

701
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 5: on the people that are there for you. Because even

702
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:51,760
Speaker 5: if it's not female friends. There are going to be

703
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:53,960
Speaker 5: people that are going to show up for you that day,

704
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 5: and I'm sure you'll be surprised by the fact that

705
00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 5: you don't miss them.

706
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 1: Yeah that is really good advice.

707
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's great advice.

708
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 1: Charlie. What do you think.

709
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:10,320
Speaker 6: Well, I'd like to applaud you for, you know, distancing

710
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 6: yourself from somebody who wasn't good for you. A lot

711
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:18,760
Speaker 6: of people, myself included, struggle with kind of setting those

712
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:23,680
Speaker 6: boundaries and taking themselves out of situations that aren't good

713
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:27,360
Speaker 6: for them, and I don't know, separating yourself from people

714
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:30,720
Speaker 6: who aren't lifting you up. So first of all, I'd

715
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:35,680
Speaker 6: like to say, good job knowing yourself and getting out

716
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 6: of that situation.

717
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 8: And second, this.

718
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:42,000
Speaker 6: Whole friend group, it's not an end all, be all.

719
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:45,080
Speaker 6: There's so many other people out there who want to

720
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:48,640
Speaker 6: make friends and people who will actually be good and

721
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:51,720
Speaker 6: kind to you and who have things in common with you.

722
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 6: So I say, and not just for the purpose of

723
00:32:55,560 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 6: bridesmaids or wedding preparations, that you should put yourself out

724
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 6: there depending on where you live, go outside, go to

725
00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:08,280
Speaker 6: a park, go to some sort of event. People always

726
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:11,920
Speaker 6: want to make friends that's I mean, of course, something

727
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,360
Speaker 6: big in college, which is what we were just talking about,

728
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 6: but it doesn't really change. People want to make friends.

729
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 6: So yeah, I think it's time to shift that mindset.

730
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:22,440
Speaker 7: Yeah.

731
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:25,080
Speaker 3: I make friends all the time. Every week I make friends.

732
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 3: And it's not because I'm a celebrity. I talk to

733
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 3: people Rando's all the time and I make friends. So

734
00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:33,360
Speaker 3: it's just about your attitude. Sometimes I don't want to

735
00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:36,440
Speaker 3: make friends and I make friends. You know that can

736
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:37,240
Speaker 3: be very tricky.

737
00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 1: Girls.

738
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:40,360
Speaker 3: Before we go to the next color, I had your

739
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:44,560
Speaker 3: mother's on the podcast. Did you hear about this trun? Okay,

740
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:45,280
Speaker 3: what did you hear?

741
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:47,840
Speaker 6: I heard that it was a catastrophe.

742
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:51,120
Speaker 1: Well, oh, now, Simone was fine as a normal.

743
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 3: And then there was Shashana, who is Charlie's mother, who

744
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 3: was walking around with her laptop throughout the entire house

745
00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:02,280
Speaker 3: throughout the episode with callers on going I.

746
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:03,160
Speaker 1: Can't get a signal.

747
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 3: I can't get a signal, so we're all getting motion

748
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:08,480
Speaker 3: sickness while watching her try to get a fucking Wi

749
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:11,040
Speaker 3: Fi signal in her own house, I'm like, have you

750
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 3: never you've never checked your WiFi before?

751
00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:15,680
Speaker 1: Are you on WiFi? She's like, I don't know. I

752
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:16,000
Speaker 1: don't know.

753
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:19,359
Speaker 3: I'm like, you, you've never done a zoom and she's like, no,

754
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:22,920
Speaker 3: not usually. I'm like, oh my god, Shashana, I am

755
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:26,799
Speaker 3: gonna throw up. And then Simone came down to California

756
00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:30,200
Speaker 3: and she goes A couple days later, she goes, uh,

757
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:31,720
Speaker 3: we're not doing that again.

758
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:33,360
Speaker 1: And I go what?

759
00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:35,600
Speaker 3: And she goes to the podcast, I'm not doing that again,

760
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:38,120
Speaker 3: not with Shashawana and not alone. I go, we can

761
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:39,839
Speaker 3: do it without Shauna and she goes, I don't want

762
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 3: anything to do with it anymore.

763
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:45,480
Speaker 1: Oh man.

764
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:48,480
Speaker 3: Then yesterday I was talking to Shawna and she goes,

765
00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 3: oh my god, I'm so sorry about the other day.

766
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:52,840
Speaker 1: I don't know what happened. I go, what, I know

767
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:53,480
Speaker 1: what happened.

768
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:56,040
Speaker 3: Every time I've spoken to you on the phone, there's

769
00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:58,480
Speaker 3: been an issue since I moved to California.

770
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:00,000
Speaker 1: I'm forty nine years old.

771
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:02,839
Speaker 3: I've been here for thirty years, and I've never had

772
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:05,960
Speaker 3: a conversation with you that didn't somehow drop the call

773
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:09,359
Speaker 3: or there was fuzz or you know, there was like

774
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:14,040
Speaker 3: a loud beeping sound and she's like, I'm really sorry.

775
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:16,000
Speaker 3: She's like, please don't air that. I'm like, well, I

776
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:18,280
Speaker 3: think we're going to because Simon moves.

777
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:20,359
Speaker 4: Don't worry. Tell her we're going to clean it up.

778
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:22,839
Speaker 4: We'll cut out all the like funky bits and it'll sound.

779
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:24,960
Speaker 1: She goes, and then she said this doozy.

780
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 3: She said, oh, And I felt so bad because that

781
00:35:27,719 --> 00:35:30,200
Speaker 3: one caller I was giving advice to I didn't even

782
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:33,640
Speaker 3: hear the questions. So I was just She's like, I

783
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:36,239
Speaker 3: was just shooting fish into a barrel. That's what she

784
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:39,680
Speaker 3: said to me, shooting fish into a barrel. I'm like,

785
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:41,560
Speaker 3: you're playing with people's lives.

786
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:45,480
Speaker 6: Meanwhile, I'm in the same house, on the same computer.

787
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:50,799
Speaker 3: Absolutely, I can't wait to tell her that it was

788
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:55,319
Speaker 3: fine with you. She's unreal. She's unreal. There's like a

789
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:57,880
Speaker 3: loud sire and sometimes I'm like, what is that sound.

790
00:35:57,920 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 3: She's like, I don't hear it. I'm like, you don't

791
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,040
Speaker 3: hear that loud sign in the phone.

792
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:03,560
Speaker 4: We sent her into the basement to get closer to

793
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:05,080
Speaker 4: the Wi Fi, and then she was like sitting on

794
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:05,600
Speaker 4: the stick.

795
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:07,760
Speaker 8: Oh my god, oh my god.

796
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:10,360
Speaker 5: If okay, so you asked before, if there's a Chelsea

797
00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:14,040
Speaker 5: of our generation, I think that Shoshana is the Seymour

798
00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:14,800
Speaker 5: of your general.

799
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:18,040
Speaker 3: Shanna is the Chelsea. I'm like, what, we don't have

800
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:21,080
Speaker 3: anything in common. Shawna wouldn't like to be called Seymour.

801
00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:23,920
Speaker 3: That's our father, their grandfather, and no one wants to

802
00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 3: be compared to him because he was up to some sneaky.

803
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:28,600
Speaker 7: Actually, no, that was sneaky.

804
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:31,719
Speaker 3: That was the problem. It wasn't sneaky at all. If

805
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 3: he had been sneakier, it might have been more dignified.

806
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:36,600
Speaker 3: But he didn't sneak anything.

807
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:39,840
Speaker 5: He had some really, and again, we don't sneak everything

808
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:41,560
Speaker 5: down on the table, whether you like it or not.

809
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:44,880
Speaker 4: But I will say you also did compare her to

810
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 4: Seymour on I know, but.

811
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:48,480
Speaker 1: She doesn't like it, so I don't say it to her.

812
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:50,640
Speaker 1: But yes, believe me, I see the similarity.

813
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:54,120
Speaker 6: My dad he puts it, well, he thinks that she

814
00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:58,440
Speaker 6: is like the ultimate mix of Rita and Seymour.

815
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:00,880
Speaker 1: How so, because she's.

816
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 6: Very warm and she also really likes to bargain.

817
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:09,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, right, so that's Seymour. And then warm is my mother?

818
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:13,359
Speaker 3: My mother was very warm. Yeah, she is very warm. Okay, well,

819
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:14,399
Speaker 3: we we'll figure that.

820
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:15,719
Speaker 1: Problem out as we see it.

821
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:17,880
Speaker 3: We'll just have to keep dealing with it until we

822
00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:22,719
Speaker 3: come to an actual prognosis.

823
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:23,640
Speaker 5: And then follow that up with an intervention.

824
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 1: Diagnosis. We need a diagnosis, a prognosis, and an.

825
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:32,680
Speaker 8: Intervention and a prescription.

826
00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:41,960
Speaker 1: Okay, we'll take a break and we'll be right back

827
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 1: with my nieces and we're back.

828
00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:52,840
Speaker 4: Okay, Okay, So Evelyn's are she her? Evelyn says, dear Chelsea.

829
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 4: My name's Evelyn, and I'm a trans woman on the

830
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:58,320
Speaker 4: cusp of Millennial and gen Z. I've been doing intense

831
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:01,080
Speaker 4: therapy for the last two years or so since realizing

832
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 4: I was trans, and have been making major progress in

833
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:07,640
Speaker 4: healing religious and family traumas. On one hand, I'm so

834
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:10,759
Speaker 4: proud of myself for the incredible progress they've made. But

835
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:14,320
Speaker 4: on the other, I'm incredibly nihilistic about the future, the world,

836
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:17,880
Speaker 4: and my place in it, knowing that nihilism runs rampant

837
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:20,920
Speaker 4: in gen Z. How do you fight this? Anytime I

838
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:24,920
Speaker 4: try to get involved in fighting for LGBTQIA plus rights,

839
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:28,360
Speaker 4: women's rights, gun control, are really any social justice, I

840
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:31,360
Speaker 4: get burnt out so quickly. I want to feel positive

841
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 4: when looking to the future, and I want to be

842
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:35,160
Speaker 4: that person who's on the front lines of the good fight,

843
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:37,480
Speaker 4: but I just can't seem to do it. How can

844
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:39,920
Speaker 4: I take the good vibes and self love I'm developing

845
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:42,840
Speaker 4: through therapy and apply it to the future. Love this podcast.

846
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:44,680
Speaker 4: Thanks for all the wonderful advice over the years.

847
00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:46,520
Speaker 2: Avelyn, Hi, Evelyn.

848
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 5: Hi.

849
00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:50,120
Speaker 1: Hello, that's Jordan and that's Charlie.

850
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:50,440
Speaker 5: Hi.

851
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:51,279
Speaker 9: Nice to meet you.

852
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:55,400
Speaker 1: Okay, so well, let's talk about what you're ingesting.

853
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:58,640
Speaker 9: What are you ingesting A lot of social media doom

854
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:01,840
Speaker 9: scrolling and ticked talk and X and all that stuff.

855
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I had your problem for a long time,

856
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:09,520
Speaker 3: and I just I'm not uninformed, but I'm less. I

857
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:11,560
Speaker 3: check in with the news in a written form, and

858
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 3: I don't pay attention to that. I hardly go on

859
00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:17,360
Speaker 3: Instagram anymore. I hardly ever go on TikTok. I honestly,

860
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:19,920
Speaker 3: it eats at your brain, and it eats at your

861
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:20,680
Speaker 3: self esteem.

862
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:22,880
Speaker 1: It has such a corrosive effect.

863
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:25,960
Speaker 3: I mean, I can tell if I look at social media,

864
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:29,240
Speaker 3: if for three or five minutes, I get something bothers

865
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:31,719
Speaker 3: me about it, something brings me down about it. You know,

866
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 3: whether you're comparing yourself to someone you think is a

867
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:35,919
Speaker 3: better life or you're looking at someone that you can't

868
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:37,799
Speaker 3: stand and say, you know what I mean, or you're

869
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:40,680
Speaker 3: hearing all this loud noise. You have to minimize your

870
00:39:40,719 --> 00:39:43,520
Speaker 3: access to social media. And one of the things that

871
00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:46,000
Speaker 3: I'm so impressed and proud of with all of my

872
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:48,759
Speaker 3: nieces and many of my nephews too, is they're not

873
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:52,520
Speaker 3: consumed with social media at all, are you guys? Not really,

874
00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:56,600
Speaker 3: they don't care and they're happy arth you know what

875
00:39:56,640 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 3: I mean. It is a definite component of being happy

876
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 3: and unhappy, you know, social media is a component in that.

877
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:05,799
Speaker 1: So you really have to limit your time.

878
00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:07,600
Speaker 3: That's the very first thing you could do that will

879
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 3: definitely have a positive impact, right girls, for sure?

880
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:12,759
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

881
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:16,399
Speaker 5: I think one thing that I do is I have

882
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:18,879
Speaker 5: this function on my phone where if I double tap

883
00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:21,480
Speaker 5: the back of my phone, it goes from color to

884
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:25,239
Speaker 5: black and white. Whenever I go onto social media, I

885
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:27,359
Speaker 5: switch it to black and white, and I'm not as

886
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:30,719
Speaker 5: tempted to keep scrolling as long. So that's something that

887
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:33,360
Speaker 5: really helps me. But then you can switch it back

888
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:35,400
Speaker 5: to color when you're like looking at a photo somebody

889
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:38,319
Speaker 5: sent you or whatever. But I would say, what you're

890
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:42,799
Speaker 5: going through is completely relatable, like so many people are agent.

891
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:45,520
Speaker 5: I'm also in between gen Z and millennials. I'm kind

892
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:47,760
Speaker 5: of neither. I'm sort of in this in between space,

893
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:52,160
Speaker 5: and there is a lot of eco anxiety. There's a

894
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:55,239
Speaker 5: lot of just fear for the future and whether or

895
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:58,960
Speaker 5: not we're going to have any rights. And so I

896
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,919
Speaker 5: would say though all the media you're consuming is meant

897
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,279
Speaker 5: to make you feel that way. It's meant to make

898
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:06,560
Speaker 5: you feel hopeless. It's meant to make you feel like

899
00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:10,239
Speaker 5: you don't have any power. And so when you do anything,

900
00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 5: it could be supporting a content creator that you think

901
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:19,440
Speaker 5: deserves support. It could be donating five dollars to the ACLU.

902
00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:22,759
Speaker 5: It could be you know, volunteering for one hour of

903
00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:26,439
Speaker 5: the week. Whatever little thing you can do, it's better

904
00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:29,879
Speaker 5: than nothing, right, And I think when we do those

905
00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:32,760
Speaker 5: little things, it gives you that spark of hope back.

906
00:41:33,239 --> 00:41:35,440
Speaker 5: And it doesn't have to be doing something major or

907
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 5: like fixing the world. All we all have to do

908
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:42,319
Speaker 5: is do one thing. If we all did one thing,

909
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:46,919
Speaker 5: we could move everything way further. But if we all

910
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:49,040
Speaker 5: sit in this space of like, oh God, like I

911
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:50,480
Speaker 5: don't know what to do, I'm just going to give

912
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:52,240
Speaker 5: up and not do anything.

913
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:54,080
Speaker 7: Then nothing gets accomplished.

914
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:56,239
Speaker 5: And so I think a lot of people our age

915
00:41:56,239 --> 00:41:58,360
Speaker 5: are falling into that where they're like, if I can't

916
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 5: change everything now, that's the point. But then we stop

917
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:05,200
Speaker 5: progress all together, and we have to think twenty years

918
00:42:05,239 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 5: from now, we stop now, like it's coming to a

919
00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:10,000
Speaker 5: complete hall and then nothing's happening.

920
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:12,759
Speaker 7: So we just have to take those little steps every day.

921
00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:14,919
Speaker 5: So if you can do one small thing every day

922
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:18,000
Speaker 5: that makes you feel like, Okay, I contributed, that's all

923
00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:20,040
Speaker 5: I had to do, don't feel like it has to

924
00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:20,920
Speaker 5: be some massive thing.

925
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 1: I love that. That's great advice. Do you love that, Evelyn?

926
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:25,759
Speaker 9: I love it.

927
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 5: Yes.

928
00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:30,200
Speaker 9: Where where would you start? Do you have any recommendations

929
00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:33,399
Speaker 9: for like how to consume the news and make sure

930
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:37,160
Speaker 9: you're still informed without getting it all from like social

931
00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:38,680
Speaker 9: media or like bias sources.

932
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean I think that's a constant issue for

933
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:42,560
Speaker 5: a lot of people.

934
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:44,960
Speaker 7: I think you have to watch I.

935
00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:46,719
Speaker 5: Think you have to look at anything that's in the

936
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:48,959
Speaker 5: middle of the road, and you have to look at fact.

937
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,120
Speaker 5: You can't just look at a headline and assume that

938
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 5: it's true. You have to actually dig in sure.

939
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:55,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's like reading it on social media. The

940
00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:57,879
Speaker 3: news is not how you should be consuming your news.

941
00:42:57,880 --> 00:42:59,880
Speaker 3: You should find an app, whether it's like like I

942
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:02,160
Speaker 3: listen to the Daily from the New York Times every morning.

943
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:04,920
Speaker 3: You find whether you like the Huffington Post, whether you

944
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:07,680
Speaker 3: like the Daily News, whether you like Ben Shapiro, whatever

945
00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:11,120
Speaker 3: you're into. Obviously you're not into Ben Shapiro, but whatever

946
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:14,000
Speaker 3: you're into, just find, just get a little like the Skim.

947
00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:16,520
Speaker 3: You know, the Skim has a great little roundup, or

948
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:19,800
Speaker 3: the week that political magazine has like a roundup of everything.

949
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:21,120
Speaker 1: Find those things that are going.

950
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:23,279
Speaker 3: To get delivered to your email that keep you off

951
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:25,759
Speaker 3: of social media, so that's not one more thing you're

952
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 3: looking at on social media. And set that timer, you know,

953
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:31,759
Speaker 3: that Instagram timer or that says you've been on your

954
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:34,320
Speaker 3: phone for an hour today or forty minutes or whatever

955
00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:38,040
Speaker 3: it is. Just take those little steps in conjunction with

956
00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:39,640
Speaker 3: the steps you're going to take to make the world

957
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:42,440
Speaker 3: a better place. And so you already have like a

958
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:45,319
Speaker 3: fifty things to do so far, and Charlie hasn't even

959
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 3: spoken yet.

960
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:47,520
Speaker 1: So Charlie, what do you wanted to do?

961
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:53,880
Speaker 6: Yeah? I mean that funk. I think everybody knows everybody

962
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:57,040
Speaker 6: in our generation is familiar with that kind of funk

963
00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:57,920
Speaker 6: that you get into.

964
00:43:58,040 --> 00:43:59,879
Speaker 8: But don't let that win.

965
00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:04,400
Speaker 6: Don't let that funk win. Everybody wants.

966
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:06,120
Speaker 1: Everybody wants women to give up.

967
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:09,480
Speaker 6: You know, yes, the system wants that funk to win,

968
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:13,399
Speaker 6: wants women to give up, wants you to just kind

969
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:19,680
Speaker 6: of not do anything. And number one, doing stuff feels great.

970
00:44:20,239 --> 00:44:22,719
Speaker 6: It's just doing one thing can lift you out of

971
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:25,600
Speaker 6: that funk. And if you keep doing that instead of pattern,

972
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:30,400
Speaker 6: you feel good about yourself. You feel like you're looking

973
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:32,480
Speaker 6: at the world and maybe there are problems, but you're

974
00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:37,360
Speaker 6: actively making a contribution to change that and that's really great.

975
00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:39,000
Speaker 8: And also it.

976
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:42,239
Speaker 6: Comes with so many other benefits. The people you meet

977
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:45,160
Speaker 6: when you're I don't know, at a protest or you're

978
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:47,839
Speaker 6: at a rally or working on a campaign.

979
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:50,160
Speaker 7: I've made some friends years.

980
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:54,160
Speaker 6: Ago that I still talk to today through that kind

981
00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:58,040
Speaker 6: of activism, and it's great to kind of be able

982
00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:01,920
Speaker 6: to find community that way. You can talk with people

983
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:05,799
Speaker 6: about feeling in a slump and get lifted up. But

984
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:10,680
Speaker 6: just don't let it win, is my advice, because then

985
00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:15,080
Speaker 6: you're letting everybody who has ever wanted you to shut

986
00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:18,239
Speaker 6: up or disagree with you. You're letting them win and

987
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:19,440
Speaker 6: that shouldn't happen.

988
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:23,760
Speaker 4: Love that, maybe once a month or once every couple months,

989
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:26,920
Speaker 4: volunteer somewhere where you can like see the tangible results

990
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:29,880
Speaker 4: of what you're doing. So maybe that's like helping out

991
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:32,440
Speaker 4: with folks who are learning English as a second language,

992
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:34,840
Speaker 4: or like at a homeless shelter or something like that

993
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 4: where you really see the direct results of.

994
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:38,920
Speaker 2: The time that you're spending.

995
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:41,799
Speaker 4: Just to sort of like mix that in to because

996
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:44,600
Speaker 4: it can feel a little bit like you're shouting into

997
00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:47,120
Speaker 4: the void when you're just like sending out texts or

998
00:45:47,239 --> 00:45:50,319
Speaker 4: you know, canvassing or whatever else. So that might be

999
00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:52,280
Speaker 4: helpful just nourishing to your soul.

1000
00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:53,040
Speaker 7: Gotcha.

1001
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:55,399
Speaker 9: Yeah, there's a lot of I'm in Utah, so there's

1002
00:45:55,440 --> 00:45:59,840
Speaker 9: a lot of lgbtqya plus like charities and like homes

1003
00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:02,040
Speaker 9: for kids and stuff. So I have been looking into

1004
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:03,720
Speaker 9: volunteering at some of those places.

1005
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:04,320
Speaker 4: Amazing.

1006
00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:06,920
Speaker 3: That kind of stuff makes you just happy, you know,

1007
00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:09,399
Speaker 3: when you do that stuff, it feels like you're because

1008
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:11,920
Speaker 3: it's so purposeful, especially when you can have interaction one

1009
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:14,040
Speaker 3: on one with other people. All you have to do,

1010
00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:16,480
Speaker 3: all you have to do is give one kid, you

1011
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:19,000
Speaker 3: know what I mean, give one kid your love and

1012
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:21,560
Speaker 3: your praise and make them believe in themselves. And like

1013
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:23,680
Speaker 3: then you're gonna be off to the races. You're gonna

1014
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:25,760
Speaker 3: feel so good about having that kind of impact.

1015
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:27,319
Speaker 9: Yeah, I'm excited about it.

1016
00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:29,879
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, get going, Evelyn. Do everything we said.

1017
00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:36,200
Speaker 9: Okay, everything, Yes, awesome, thank you, bye bye.

1018
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:38,359
Speaker 1: Okay, we'll take a break and we'll be right back.

1019
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 4: So our last question comes from Angela. She says, my

1020
00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 4: roommate is the effing worst. Dear Chelsea, I really need

1021
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:51,600
Speaker 4: your help since I have a situation with my roommate

1022
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:55,120
Speaker 4: and I'm not as confrontational as you are goals. A

1023
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:57,120
Speaker 4: couple of years ago, I was really struggling to find

1024
00:46:57,160 --> 00:46:59,040
Speaker 4: a roommate since I was unable to pay for the

1025
00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:01,880
Speaker 4: entire apartment by myself at the time. I asked my

1026
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:04,840
Speaker 4: landlord if he knew anyone, and he suggested his granddaughter

1027
00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:07,560
Speaker 4: since she was looking for apartments at the time. Too.

1028
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:11,399
Speaker 4: Turns out, she is the worst. She does not clean

1029
00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:13,840
Speaker 4: up after herself. She does not broom or vacuum or

1030
00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:15,360
Speaker 4: mop or even take out the trash.

1031
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:16,560
Speaker 1: Room is broom of broom.

1032
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:20,920
Speaker 4: The most she will do is take out the trash

1033
00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:23,719
Speaker 4: in one of the bathrooms, but leave the trash right

1034
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:26,640
Speaker 4: by the trash can, which I then take to the dumpster.

1035
00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:29,840
Speaker 4: Her sisters sleep over and are extremely loud in the

1036
00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:32,120
Speaker 4: middle of the night. She also hides the dog in

1037
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:34,319
Speaker 4: her room and ignores that I have called her out

1038
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:36,799
Speaker 4: on it. When I clean the apartment, it takes up

1039
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:38,360
Speaker 4: most of my weekend, since I feel like I have

1040
00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 4: to clean for two It has gotten so frustrating that

1041
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:43,719
Speaker 4: I do not have the energy to clean, because what's

1042
00:47:43,719 --> 00:47:45,160
Speaker 4: the point She's going to mess it up in a

1043
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:47,680
Speaker 4: few days. I send her text to help clean, and

1044
00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:49,840
Speaker 4: she either ignores it or washes her own dishes for

1045
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:51,520
Speaker 4: a few days, and then it's back to how it's

1046
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:55,520
Speaker 4: always been. Here is the real issue. Of course, I've

1047
00:47:55,560 --> 00:47:58,200
Speaker 4: thought about moving out, but my landlord is the nicest

1048
00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:00,640
Speaker 4: old man and charges me almost nothing thing because of

1049
00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 4: how long I've loved in the apartment. Rent is not

1050
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:05,480
Speaker 4: cheap in LA and so I'm stuck here until I

1051
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:07,960
Speaker 4: come buy a house later on. Also, I've come to

1052
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:10,640
Speaker 4: realize that I don't think she's even paying rent because

1053
00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:13,120
Speaker 4: her grandpa now has her pay it directly to him,

1054
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:16,839
Speaker 4: quote unquote, I do not want to embarrass him with this,

1055
00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:19,880
Speaker 4: with the fact that his granddaughter is a slob. Please

1056
00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:21,879
Speaker 4: help me in solving this issue. How do I ask

1057
00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:23,440
Speaker 4: her to move out? Angela?

1058
00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:28,840
Speaker 2: One of you has a bad roommate passed m M.

1059
00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:29,840
Speaker 7: That would be me.

1060
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:33,880
Speaker 1: What was your roommate's situation? I don't remember.

1061
00:48:34,320 --> 00:48:35,480
Speaker 5: Wait, Charles, did you too?

1062
00:48:36,640 --> 00:48:40,880
Speaker 6: She wasn't the greatest, but not at this degree.

1063
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:42,200
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1064
00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:46,920
Speaker 5: This is tough because it's like, so it's the landlord's granddaughter.

1065
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:52,640
Speaker 5: Yeah hmmm, I mean that cheap rent. It's worth it

1066
00:48:52,800 --> 00:48:54,320
Speaker 5: if you can stick.

1067
00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:56,840
Speaker 3: It out, But not if that girl's paying her father

1068
00:48:56,960 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 3: grandfather directly.

1069
00:48:58,120 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 1: That sounds fishy.

1070
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:02,439
Speaker 3: I don't like that set up. That sounds like what's

1071
00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:05,000
Speaker 3: going on there? The no grandfather is going to take

1072
00:49:05,040 --> 00:49:06,120
Speaker 3: money from their granddaughter.

1073
00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:09,040
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, right right, it's she's getting a freebee and

1074
00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:10,319
Speaker 4: then she's slapping on top of it.

1075
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:11,000
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1076
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:13,759
Speaker 5: I wonder if you could like find another roommate that's

1077
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:17,200
Speaker 5: like willing to pay more and be like, hey, so

1078
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:20,640
Speaker 5: win win for you. But I don't know, I don't

1079
00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:23,319
Speaker 5: really know what you do in that situation because there's

1080
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:25,480
Speaker 5: like a nepotism situation going on.

1081
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:27,200
Speaker 3: I know, and it's like the only way to do

1082
00:49:27,239 --> 00:49:30,239
Speaker 3: it is actually to talk to the grandfather, because you're

1083
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:32,000
Speaker 3: not going to be able to reason with a girl

1084
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:34,640
Speaker 3: who's like doing cleaning like that.

1085
00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:38,480
Speaker 6: I mean, that could go one of two ways. Either

1086
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:42,000
Speaker 6: they're going to be the grandpa is not going to

1087
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:45,719
Speaker 6: be receptive to that, or which I think is more likely,

1088
00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:49,640
Speaker 6: he's going to say, yeah, I totally agree, my granddaughter's

1089
00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:51,799
Speaker 6: a mess and I should probably talk to her and

1090
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:53,160
Speaker 6: tell her to get her shit together.

1091
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:55,759
Speaker 3: Yeah he could do that too, and he or he

1092
00:49:55,800 --> 00:49:59,359
Speaker 3: could be like, totally go, I totally understand. That's why

1093
00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:01,719
Speaker 3: I would talk to him first, Like, I listen, this

1094
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:05,000
Speaker 3: isn't working out. She's really messy and we just don't

1095
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:07,279
Speaker 3: have the same living styles and she has people over

1096
00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:07,719
Speaker 3: all the time.

1097
00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:10,200
Speaker 1: I'm not getting sleep. I really like to get a

1098
00:50:10,200 --> 00:50:11,279
Speaker 1: new roommate, Like.

1099
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:13,320
Speaker 3: I would do that, but I'm like, I'm just thinking

1100
00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:15,440
Speaker 3: about how that looks going behind her back if the

1101
00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:18,400
Speaker 3: grandfather goes it's all a little bit. I mean, the

1102
00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:21,400
Speaker 3: best thing to do would say, tell her directly and

1103
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:25,000
Speaker 3: when she doesn't change her behavior to tell her grandfather

1104
00:50:25,239 --> 00:50:27,160
Speaker 3: that you've already spoken to her about it, because if

1105
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:29,000
Speaker 3: you go to him first, he's going to say, did

1106
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:30,000
Speaker 3: you talk to her about it?

1107
00:50:30,239 --> 00:50:32,880
Speaker 6: Yeah, well it seems like she has talked to her

1108
00:50:32,960 --> 00:50:35,520
Speaker 6: about it, So I think we are at the step

1109
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:36,400
Speaker 6: of going.

1110
00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:41,280
Speaker 3: To Charlie's like full, she's ready, she's ready to a victor.

1111
00:50:41,920 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't know. And I think also one thing

1112
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:48,040
Speaker 5: that always helps, because you get so frustrated in these situations,

1113
00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:51,000
Speaker 5: and I've had bad roommates before, that you become so

1114
00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:54,440
Speaker 5: like just angry all the time that you're angry at

1115
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:57,839
Speaker 5: the smallest things. Actually write down the things that are

1116
00:50:57,880 --> 00:51:00,160
Speaker 5: annoying you about it so that you can take it

1117
00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:03,360
Speaker 5: to the landlord and be like, hey, these are the things,

1118
00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:05,600
Speaker 5: these are the things I don't care about, but these

1119
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 5: are the things that I can't live with. And so

1120
00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:11,719
Speaker 5: that's always helpful because I get so like pissed off

1121
00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:13,240
Speaker 5: that I like am not even coherent.

1122
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:15,080
Speaker 7: So I would try that.

1123
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 5: But yeah, if you've already talked to her, it's time

1124
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:20,160
Speaker 5: to talk to the landlord. And it doesn't have to

1125
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:22,640
Speaker 5: be super confrontational, like if he's a sweet old man,

1126
00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:23,359
Speaker 5: you can just be.

1127
00:51:23,320 --> 00:51:26,120
Speaker 7: Like, hey, blah blah blah, and probably.

1128
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:28,799
Speaker 5: If he is a sweet old man, be compassionate about.

1129
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:29,400
Speaker 7: It, hopefully.

1130
00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:31,479
Speaker 4: And it kind of I kind of get the vibe

1131
00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:34,879
Speaker 4: that maybe she can afford the entire apartment by herself now,

1132
00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:37,279
Speaker 4: so like maybe that's the move, is just to be like,

1133
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:37,759
Speaker 4: if you.

1134
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:40,759
Speaker 3: Can't afford the apartment by yourself, definitely that is your move.

1135
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:41,439
Speaker 8: Yeah.

1136
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:43,960
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that makes it even simpler because you just

1137
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:45,160
Speaker 3: say I'm ready to live alone.

1138
00:51:45,200 --> 00:51:47,360
Speaker 1: I've been saving up for this, and I'm ready. This

1139
00:51:47,520 --> 00:51:47,799
Speaker 1: is it.

1140
00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:50,359
Speaker 3: And since your granddaughter's not paying you rent any right,

1141
00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:51,640
Speaker 3: shouldn't make a difference.

1142
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:52,480
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

1143
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:54,680
Speaker 4: We had so we have this friend who lived in

1144
00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:57,520
Speaker 4: this group of like five guys in a house, and

1145
00:51:57,760 --> 00:51:59,680
Speaker 4: you know how during the pandemic, like rent was sort

1146
00:51:59,680 --> 00:52:02,960
Speaker 4: of for a little while, and you know, there was

1147
00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:05,080
Speaker 4: a point where they wanted to all have a conversation

1148
00:52:05,120 --> 00:52:06,759
Speaker 4: with the landlord to like figure out how much they

1149
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:09,719
Speaker 4: owed and rent. And so all five of them were

1150
00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:11,560
Speaker 4: on the call, but only one guy was on the

1151
00:52:11,640 --> 00:52:14,239
Speaker 4: lease and they'd all lived there for years. And as

1152
00:52:14,239 --> 00:52:16,319
Speaker 4: they like started to figure out like how much they

1153
00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:19,560
Speaker 4: owed the guy, they realized that the guy who was

1154
00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:22,560
Speaker 4: on the lease had been charging them all splitting the

1155
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:25,480
Speaker 4: rent between the other guys, So that guy wasn't paying

1156
00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:28,480
Speaker 4: rent at all for like five years.

1157
00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:29,840
Speaker 7: Oh my god.

1158
00:52:30,320 --> 00:52:31,600
Speaker 2: So I love what you said about like just find

1159
00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:32,560
Speaker 2: somebody who'll pay more.

1160
00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:35,440
Speaker 3: I know, Like, first of all, how do people react

1161
00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:36,640
Speaker 3: with when they find that out?

1162
00:52:36,719 --> 00:52:39,480
Speaker 1: Like what is your defense? You haven't been paying rent?

1163
00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:42,920
Speaker 1: You know you're not paying rent? What is your possible

1164
00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:44,120
Speaker 1: defense when you get caught?

1165
00:52:44,239 --> 00:52:46,520
Speaker 4: And the thing is like they all worked together and

1166
00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:50,680
Speaker 4: they were friends, they were it all blew up and

1167
00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:52,640
Speaker 4: all totally blow up. That guy like moved back to

1168
00:52:52,719 --> 00:52:53,719
Speaker 4: the Midwest or whatever, but.

1169
00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:57,400
Speaker 5: They're probably like you owe me like ten grands.

1170
00:52:56,680 --> 00:52:59,759
Speaker 4: Exactly, Like oh, a lot of things have started to

1171
00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:02,279
Speaker 4: make sense, like why he's like, you know, a part

1172
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:04,279
Speaker 4: time bar back and like can afford to live in

1173
00:53:04,400 --> 00:53:05,440
Speaker 4: La So you know.

1174
00:53:06,239 --> 00:53:08,239
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I think ask her to move out.

1175
00:53:08,320 --> 00:53:10,640
Speaker 4: And if you can't do that, like find somebody else

1176
00:53:10,680 --> 00:53:12,000
Speaker 4: it's willing to pay a little bit more.

1177
00:53:12,719 --> 00:53:15,160
Speaker 3: Okay, Well that's the pro that problem has been solved.

1178
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:17,840
Speaker 3: You girls were very impressive today. I knew you would be,

1179
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:19,160
Speaker 3: so I'm not surprised.

1180
00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:21,319
Speaker 5: Thank you for having us Charlie.

1181
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:23,239
Speaker 3: How would you rate your experience giving advice on the

1182
00:53:23,239 --> 00:53:25,200
Speaker 3: podcast for the first time on a scale of one

1183
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:25,760
Speaker 3: to ten.

1184
00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:29,400
Speaker 6: I'll say nine, because who knows. I mean, I'll need

1185
00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:34,319
Speaker 6: some room for improvement. I don't want to limit myself.

1186
00:53:35,440 --> 00:53:38,200
Speaker 3: Jordan, Jordan, how would you rate your own performance on

1187
00:53:38,239 --> 00:53:39,359
Speaker 3: a scale of one to ten?

1188
00:53:40,040 --> 00:53:40,480
Speaker 7: I don't know.

1189
00:53:40,520 --> 00:53:43,359
Speaker 3: An eighth Okay, I think you guys both deserve an eye.

1190
00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:45,800
Speaker 6: But well that I would like to say for the record,

1191
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:48,920
Speaker 6: I was rating my experience, not my own performance.

1192
00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:53,160
Speaker 7: I'm not like an asshole.

1193
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:55,400
Speaker 5: That was my experience.

1194
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:56,959
Speaker 4: Oh my god.

1195
00:53:56,960 --> 00:53:58,520
Speaker 3: Well this was really fun and we're gonna have to

1196
00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:00,319
Speaker 3: do it again because people are probably going to love

1197
00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:02,959
Speaker 3: listening to these two. Thank you girls, have a great

1198
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:05,600
Speaker 3: rest of your day and I'll see you soon, you

1199
00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:06,399
Speaker 3: very soon.

1200
00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:11,319
Speaker 1: I love you. Okay. So upcoming shows that I have

1201
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:12,400
Speaker 1: you guys.

1202
00:54:12,160 --> 00:54:18,360
Speaker 3: Auckland, New Zealand, Wellington, New Zealand, Melbourne, Australia, Brisbane and Australia, Sydney, Australia.

1203
00:54:18,400 --> 00:54:20,399
Speaker 3: We've added second shows to places that have sold out

1204
00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:22,840
Speaker 3: the first and then I'm gonna be in Hawaii on Maui,

1205
00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:27,320
Speaker 3: Kahulue and Honolulu I will be there in July. Also

1206
00:54:27,320 --> 00:54:30,320
Speaker 3: in July, I'm coming to Niagara Falls on July twenty seventh.

1207
00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:32,880
Speaker 3: I'm coming to Hollywood, Florida for my only show in

1208
00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:36,200
Speaker 3: Florida on July twenty eighth. I'll be in Auburn, Washington

1209
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:39,120
Speaker 3: on August first, and then Santa Rosa, California for my

1210
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:43,439
Speaker 3: second show August second. August seventeenth is the Santa Barbara Bowl.

1211
00:54:43,520 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 1: You do not want to miss that.

1212
00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:50,520
Speaker 3: And then I will be all over Maine, Charlotte, North Carolina, Charleston,

1213
00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:53,279
Speaker 3: South Carolina. I'm coming to Texas. I'm coming to Saint

1214
00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:55,799
Speaker 3: Louis and Kansas City, and then I will be in

1215
00:54:55,880 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 3: Las Vegas performing at the Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel.

1216
00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:03,680
Speaker 3: My first three dates in Vegas are September first, Labor

1217
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:07,319
Speaker 3: Day weekend, and then November two and November thirtieth. I'm

1218
00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:10,480
Speaker 3: coming to Brooklyn, New York, at the Kings Theater on

1219
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:14,920
Speaker 3: November eighth, and I have tickets on sale throughout the

1220
00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:18,160
Speaker 3: end of the year in December, so if you're in

1221
00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:22,400
Speaker 3: a city like Philadelphia or Bethlehem, or San Diego or

1222
00:55:22,440 --> 00:55:26,440
Speaker 3: New Orleans or Omaha, check Chelseahandler dot com for tickets.

1223
00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:29,400
Speaker 4: Okay, if you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an

1224
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:32,520
Speaker 4: email at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and

1225
00:55:32,560 --> 00:55:35,279
Speaker 4: be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is

1226
00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:39,040
Speaker 4: edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law

1227
00:55:39,280 --> 00:55:41,640
Speaker 4: and be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler

1228
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:44,400
Speaker 4: dot com