1 00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:09,920 Speaker 1: When the rents passed you in the carball Star, when 2 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:13,800 Speaker 1: the only sponsors my broken heart. We're hanging on this 3 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:17,439 Speaker 1: janky stream. Two weird voices in the glow of a 4 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 1: streams the worm bo say to let it laugh with 5 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:29,120 Speaker 1: you to the pepper Spray singers for that banger. Johnny 6 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:33,559 Speaker 1: Crovin intro. Welcome back. It's a brand new episode. This 7 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,720 Speaker 1: is laugh with Me, a podcast with Jeremy old Man. 8 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:42,040 Speaker 1: I'm your welcome back. I'm Jeremy and this is laugh 9 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 1: with Me. We got Johnny on the knobs, say hi, Johnny, 10 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:51,520 Speaker 1: no perfect. We roast our fears in real time, tell 11 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:55,600 Speaker 1: the truth and swiss the line. Take this shame, make 12 00:00:55,680 --> 00:01:04,839 Speaker 1: it shine, turn the loose into punchers. Wait, Jeremy, Texa's mongoling, 13 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:08,479 Speaker 1: she's that shell, get to it soon. And week three, 14 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:13,039 Speaker 1: someone listen my night shift time and Smiles's dad moved 15 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,480 Speaker 1: out of the Week six, they recorded blankets neighbors banging 16 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:24,040 Speaker 1: on the ceiling. Johnny whispers, keep laughing, Hey j O, 17 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:29,280 Speaker 1: thank you so much for all the positive feedback from 18 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:33,479 Speaker 1: our most recent episode, The Ballad of Steven And those 19 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 1: of you who are wondering, yeah, that's my real boss. 20 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:42,880 Speaker 1: Yeah what a fool. What the fool? Today we got 21 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:46,000 Speaker 1: something a little more serious to discuss, something that uh, 22 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:50,240 Speaker 1: hopefully you guys have been all over. I don't know 23 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,360 Speaker 1: what your opinion on is it. That's the thing. There's 24 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 1: so many different opinions on this, and with good reason. 25 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:05,120 Speaker 1: Thus my point, did we really do it? Did we 26 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:09,840 Speaker 1: really go to the moon? That's where we're at today. 27 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:13,760 Speaker 1: We're gonna talk about whether or not, you know, NASA 28 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:17,080 Speaker 1: actually went to the moon or not. It just to me, 29 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 1: it's a it's it's a different situation because apparently this 30 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:27,160 Speaker 1: latest moon mission, all they did was just fly around 31 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:31,200 Speaker 1: the Moon and then come back. We didn't land on 32 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:34,760 Speaker 1: the moon. We didn't actually step foot on the moon. 33 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:38,320 Speaker 1: To me, that does not count. You did not go 34 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:43,560 Speaker 1: to the moon. Now, you did go near the moon, Johnny, 35 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,320 Speaker 1: I'll give them that. NASA did go near the moon. 36 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:47,880 Speaker 1: And I'm giving all the credit in the world to 37 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:51,600 Speaker 1: those astronauts. They went further into space, further away from 38 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:56,600 Speaker 1: Earth than any astronaut ever has, any human being has 39 00:02:56,680 --> 00:03:02,800 Speaker 1: ever made it ever, So all due respect to them, 40 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:06,480 Speaker 1: You know what, Johnny, Let's give us some pleasure. What 41 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:18,200 Speaker 1: they did was record breaking, dangerous and a successful mission 42 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 1: in all accounts on what they were trying to achieve. 43 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:24,000 Speaker 1: But did they go to the moon? Now, Nah, you 44 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:27,160 Speaker 1: didn't go to the moon. It's like telling people, yeah, 45 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,160 Speaker 1: I went to Dave and Buses this weekend and then 46 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:30,760 Speaker 1: they're like, oh, yeah, did you play some ski ball, 47 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:32,679 Speaker 1: because say no, I'm the king of Skiball and stay 48 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 1: in Nebraska, and you go, nah, I just drove past it. 49 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 1: I looked at this sign and I went home. I mean, 50 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,640 Speaker 1: you didn't go to Dave and Busters. Then you committed 51 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,000 Speaker 1: a drive by, basically is what you did. And that's 52 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: what this moon mission was. It was a lunar drive by. 53 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 1: I mean, NASA is acting all excited, and then again 54 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:57,440 Speaker 1: they should be excited. They went further into space than 55 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:01,600 Speaker 1: any human being ever has. And they're saying, we sent 56 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:06,680 Speaker 1: astronauts to the Moon in twenty twenty six, but you didn't. 57 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,600 Speaker 1: You sent them to the Moon's neighborhood, like they were around. 58 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:15,040 Speaker 1: I'd compare it to like space door dash, Like they 59 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 1: pulled up to the Moon, they looked at the house 60 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,440 Speaker 1: number and they were like, I can't find the address, 61 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:21,600 Speaker 1: and then they went back to Earth with their tacos. 62 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:26,480 Speaker 1: I mean that's literally what this was. You know, if 63 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:29,560 Speaker 1: I drive to Chicago, circle the parking lot around Wrigleyfield, 64 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:32,960 Speaker 1: and then drive home, I cannot spend ten years telling 65 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:36,240 Speaker 1: people I've been to a cubskat. No, No, I sat triving, 66 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:39,760 Speaker 1: got angry. I mean, that's just that's the reality of it. 67 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:44,600 Speaker 1: Not the same thing at all. And honestly, if all 68 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:46,120 Speaker 1: you have to do is fly around the moon for 69 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:49,560 Speaker 1: its count, then I've been to several places. I've been 70 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:51,960 Speaker 1: to New Mexico because I saw it from an airplane. 71 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,800 Speaker 1: I've been to Dallas because I had a lay over 72 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 1: there once. I've been to Jail. I drove by once 73 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:00,240 Speaker 1: it slowed down because I thought they're my be like 74 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:04,240 Speaker 1: a dairy queen nearby. God, I love a blizzard, but 75 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:06,640 Speaker 1: it just doesn't count. The Moon's not a drive through. 76 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:09,719 Speaker 1: You don't get credit just for seeing it. You got 77 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:14,360 Speaker 1: to actually land, get out, leave some footprints. At minimums, 78 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:18,080 Speaker 1: somebody has to walk up there and complain. That's just 79 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:21,120 Speaker 1: where we are in society. That's how you know you've 80 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,760 Speaker 1: really been somewhere. You got to land on the Moon 81 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 1: and immediately one astronout says, well, this is nice, but 82 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:31,040 Speaker 1: there's just really nowhere to park, And then another one's like, well, 83 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,560 Speaker 1: there is parking meters, and why is it twenty dollars 84 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:38,080 Speaker 1: all day parking? At that point it would count. At 85 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:44,080 Speaker 1: that point you have been on the moon, which brings 86 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 1: up another question, have we ever really landed on the moon, 87 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:53,880 Speaker 1: because every time I hear about the Moon, the story 88 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,920 Speaker 1: gets a little weirder. Supposedly we landed on the Moon 89 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,719 Speaker 1: in nineteen sixty nine, and I'm not. I don't know 90 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,520 Speaker 1: if I'm on the record of saying we did or 91 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 1: we didn't. I honestly, I'd love to put more research 92 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:08,480 Speaker 1: into this because this most recent trip to the Boon, 93 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:12,719 Speaker 1: to me, really calls into question everything that happened in 94 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:18,080 Speaker 1: nineteen sixty nine. I mean, did we land there and 95 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:21,200 Speaker 1: then for the next fifty years act like it was 96 00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:25,480 Speaker 1: really no big deal? A little suspicious to me, especially 97 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 1: in a world where we like to take credit for everything. 98 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:30,400 Speaker 1: You're telling me, America put a man on the moon 99 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 1: in nineteen sixty nine with a computer weaker than a microwave, 100 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,800 Speaker 1: and we were all just like cool. Anyway, back to 101 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:41,479 Speaker 1: smoking in restaurants, I mean, is that is that what 102 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:45,000 Speaker 1: we're doing here? Thank you? Johnny, we landed on the 103 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 1: Moon with less technology then currently exists in a gas 104 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:54,080 Speaker 1: station airfier, and that's fact. Meanwhile, today my phone can 105 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:59,040 Speaker 1: recognize my face, translate Spanish, order a pizza, but if 106 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:01,719 Speaker 1: there's one cloud in the sky, my GPS is like, 107 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,880 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, you live in the ocean. Now. You ever 108 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,880 Speaker 1: notice how confident people are about the moon landing, like, oh, yeah, 109 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:10,840 Speaker 1: of course were landed, Like they will fight to the 110 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 1: death about it. It's like, really, you can't even connect 111 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:16,840 Speaker 1: your printer to the Wi Fi, so seriously try doing it. 112 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:22,000 Speaker 1: But suddenly you're an expert on lunar travel. I don't 113 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,720 Speaker 1: know if we land or not. Again, a lot more 114 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:30,160 Speaker 1: needs to be explained, to my opinion for me to 115 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,280 Speaker 1: be able to say, yeah we did or yeah we didn't. 116 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:34,400 Speaker 1: All I know is I grew up being taught that 117 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:39,520 Speaker 1: in nineteen sixty nine we landed on the Moon. But 118 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:44,080 Speaker 1: where are the moon souvenirs? If Americans really went to 119 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:47,840 Speaker 1: the Moon, somebody would have stolen something. There'd be a 120 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:49,880 Speaker 1: guy in Ohio with a moon rock sitting in his 121 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:52,120 Speaker 1: garage next to an old lawnmower. And you just know 122 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:55,560 Speaker 1: that's true, Like, yeah, that's from the moon. Man, don't 123 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:58,239 Speaker 1: lean on it. The dog pete on it. Once there'd 124 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:01,960 Speaker 1: be a Moon gift shop. You know, we'd be trying 125 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:05,040 Speaker 1: to capitalize on this, you know, the Apollo eleven visitor center, 126 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:12,480 Speaker 1: t shirts, snow globes, tiny astronaut magnets, you'd have beanie 127 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:17,720 Speaker 1: babies of astronauts, a forty two dollars bottle of water, 128 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,960 Speaker 1: because every touristtraction does that. Now you got to have 129 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:22,400 Speaker 1: their own bottle of water. And all that is is 130 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:25,720 Speaker 1: your regular old bottle of water with the labels, the 131 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:29,240 Speaker 1: personalized label. But if we ever do land again, the 132 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:32,480 Speaker 1: first thing Americans do on the Moon is not gonna 133 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:36,000 Speaker 1: be science. No, no, no. Everybody says, oh, we'll study 134 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:41,120 Speaker 1: the surface, we'll conduct experiments. No. The first thing somebody 135 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:45,320 Speaker 1: does in the Moon is take a selfie. Immediately. The 136 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 1: first words on the Moon in twenty eight are not 137 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:51,200 Speaker 1: gonna be one small step for mankind. No, it's gonna 138 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,440 Speaker 1: be hold on, I need to do this dance for TikTok. 139 00:08:54,679 --> 00:08:56,760 Speaker 1: And you know that's true. That's gonna be the most 140 00:08:56,800 --> 00:09:00,080 Speaker 1: important thing that happens. I mean, look at it. This, 141 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,600 Speaker 1: this set of astronauts were the first ones to do 142 00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:07,640 Speaker 1: six to seven in space. They made a point to 143 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:11,800 Speaker 1: six seven in space, So you know, we gotta get 144 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:15,240 Speaker 1: them tied to viral TikTok dances. Going on the Moon 145 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,480 Speaker 1: and somebody's gonna be up there trying to get a signal. 146 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:24,320 Speaker 1: Can you hear me now? No, Karen, you're two hundred 147 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,160 Speaker 1: and thirty eight thousand miles away. Verizon doesn't even work 148 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:33,200 Speaker 1: in my basement. Somebody will try to open a restaurant. 149 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,520 Speaker 1: You know that's gonna be a thing. Once we land 150 00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:37,360 Speaker 1: on the Moon, we're gonna have to start to capitalize 151 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:41,480 Speaker 1: on this. Humans cannot discover anything without immediately putting like 152 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:45,040 Speaker 1: a Chili's next to it. Right within six months after that, 153 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,720 Speaker 1: there's gonna be Buffalo wild Wings on the moon. Come 154 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,160 Speaker 1: watch the big game of Buffalo Wildings Lunar Crater three. 155 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 1: But you know they're still gonna layer's gonna be tough. 156 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:58,040 Speaker 1: They're still gonna have the one waitress trying to do everything. Sorry, 157 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:00,920 Speaker 1: folks were short staff. It's just me and one astronaut 158 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:06,160 Speaker 1: back there making mazzarella sticks. Not gonna get a good 159 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:10,520 Speaker 1: tip if there's restaurants, And eventually there's gonna be sports. 160 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:13,320 Speaker 1: That's the real question. Who's gonna be the first sports 161 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,120 Speaker 1: league to have a game on the moon. I think 162 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,440 Speaker 1: it could be golf, because golf already looks like a 163 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:22,400 Speaker 1: sport astronauts invented, and golfers would love them. Today's course 164 00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:26,120 Speaker 1: nine hundred miles long and somehow still has a dress code. 165 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:29,600 Speaker 1: Imagine the Masters on the Moon. A guy hits the ball, 166 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,440 Speaker 1: we don't see it again for like three days. The 167 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 1: announcers are still whispering for some reason. It's a beautiful 168 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:38,760 Speaker 1: sho by Rory. The ball appears to be entering another 169 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:45,199 Speaker 1: time zone. Basketball be incredible. One dunk and the guy 170 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:48,520 Speaker 1: never comes down. You'd foul somebody, and he just flowed 171 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:52,960 Speaker 1: away slowly like a disappointed balloon. The NBA would surely 172 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:58,199 Speaker 1: have to change all the rules for moon traveling. Technically, yes, 173 00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:02,880 Speaker 1: he traveled fourteen miles. Baseball on the Moon could be chaos. 174 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:04,760 Speaker 1: I'd like to see home run derby up there. Maybe 175 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:08,400 Speaker 1: every home run would probably leave the Moon entirely like 176 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:13,400 Speaker 1: Ladies and Gentlemen, that ball is now approaching Saturn. Football 177 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:15,600 Speaker 1: will be pretty dangerous, and I do think football might 178 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:18,640 Speaker 1: be the first one. I mean, they are pretty aggressive 179 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:22,839 Speaker 1: in playing their game everywhere but one tackle and low 180 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,600 Speaker 1: gravity and both players end up in orbit. So they 181 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:27,920 Speaker 1: have to figure that one out, like penalty on the 182 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:34,680 Speaker 1: defense unnecessary roughness. Also, we lost two linebackers. Hockey would 183 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:36,680 Speaker 1: probably still work the same way. Canadians have been preparing 184 00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:42,040 Speaker 1: for that their whole lives. That's the most important That's 185 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:46,080 Speaker 1: the most important science in Canada is how do we 186 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:49,400 Speaker 1: play hockey on the moon? You know, that's that's a 187 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 1: top notch priority in Canada. But honestly, when we really 188 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,920 Speaker 1: think about it, the first sport on the moon is 189 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:03,199 Speaker 1: probably gonna up being picked just because pickleball's everywhere. You're 190 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:04,800 Speaker 1: just gonna wake up one day and there's a bunch 191 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,160 Speaker 1: of retired people in space helmets arguing over if the 192 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:10,600 Speaker 1: ball is out of the line. Jackie, we're on the moon. 193 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:14,520 Speaker 1: There is no line. This episode would laugh with me. 194 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 1: The podcast with Jeremy Otamus brought to you by moon Pies. 195 00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:21,000 Speaker 1: Moon Pies for when you want to experience the Moon 196 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:25,520 Speaker 1: without actually going there, because apparently these days, just flying 197 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,840 Speaker 1: near the moon counts as going to the moon. That's 198 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:31,800 Speaker 1: like me driving past the grocery store and telling everybody, yeah, 199 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:35,240 Speaker 1: I bought produce. No you didn't, Jeremy, you looked at 200 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:39,920 Speaker 1: Kroger from a stoplight. But moon pies. Moon pies actually deliver. 201 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:42,720 Speaker 1: You open the package, you'll hold it in your hand, 202 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:46,960 Speaker 1: you can eat it. That counts. Moon pies have everything 203 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,800 Speaker 1: people love about the Moon, the round shape, the weird texture, 204 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:54,800 Speaker 1: nobody's totally sure what's inside of it. But unlike the 205 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:59,080 Speaker 1: actual moon, moon pies are available at most gas stations 206 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:03,320 Speaker 1: for under two Try doing that with NASA. Hi, Yes, 207 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:05,680 Speaker 1: I'd like one trip to the Moon. Please, that'll be 208 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:09,679 Speaker 1: four point two billion dollars. No thanks, I'll just get 209 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:12,880 Speaker 1: a banana moon pie and a doctor pepper. Moon pies 210 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:17,880 Speaker 1: are perfect for every occasion, road trips, lunch breaks, family reunions, 211 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:20,800 Speaker 1: pretending you're an astronaut while sitting in your car outside 212 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,520 Speaker 1: of Dave and Busters, and now including the new moonpie 213 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:31,320 Speaker 1: slogan moon Pie because at least we actually landed. Moon 214 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:38,880 Speaker 1: Pies available wherever poor decisions and fountain drinks are sold. Now, eventually, 215 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,280 Speaker 1: when we get to the moon, we get to the 216 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:44,120 Speaker 1: moon more frequently. We're gonna have people living there. I 217 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,960 Speaker 1: know that's the goal. So to have a whole community 218 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:48,960 Speaker 1: up there. That's what things are gonna get real weird 219 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,120 Speaker 1: when you got to apply for a job on the moon. 220 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,360 Speaker 1: Can you imagine a moon job interview? So tell us 221 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:58,120 Speaker 1: a little about yourself. Well, I have five years of 222 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:01,760 Speaker 1: retail experience and I can survive in an octat Jim bubble. Great. 223 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:06,000 Speaker 1: Can you work weekends? No, perfect, you're hired. Nobody on 224 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:11,000 Speaker 1: the Moon wants to work weekends. There's sounds like Earth. 225 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,840 Speaker 1: There will be normal jobs to moon Starbucks, Moon, Walmart, 226 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:19,360 Speaker 1: Moon DMV. Can you imagine the moon DMV? You already 227 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,120 Speaker 1: wait three hours on Earth. Now imagine waiting three hours 228 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:24,240 Speaker 1: in a space helmet while a lady named Denise tells 229 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,840 Speaker 1: you you're in the wrong line. Sir, you need Form 230 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:31,680 Speaker 1: forty seven B to operate a lunar golf cart. Where 231 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:35,720 Speaker 1: do I get that building nine? Well? Where's building nine 232 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:40,200 Speaker 1: across the crater? No, thank you, I'm just gonna be 233 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:45,840 Speaker 1: walking everywhere. The Moon apartment process will be just impossible. 234 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:49,040 Speaker 1: Landlords are evil here on Earth. It doesn't matter a 235 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:53,480 Speaker 1: planet here. Apartment available, one bedroom, great view of Earth, 236 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:57,720 Speaker 1: forty eight hundred dollars a month. Utilities included, No, what 237 00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:02,960 Speaker 1: utilities about oxygen? You gotta include oxygen forty eight hundred 238 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:08,720 Speaker 1: dollars a month. There'll be Moon reealators. This charming lunar 239 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:13,640 Speaker 1: studio has lots of natural light. No, it doesn't literally 240 00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:17,520 Speaker 1: in space. This unit features an open floor plane. Yeah, 241 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:20,440 Speaker 1: it's because there's no walls. We're on the Moon. You'll 242 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:23,920 Speaker 1: just be renting a tent and a crater. Then they'll 243 00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:27,040 Speaker 1: hit you at the Moon apartment requirements first month's rent, 244 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,200 Speaker 1: last month's rent, security deposit, and the proof that you 245 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:35,800 Speaker 1: can survive a meteor strike. The apartment application will ask 246 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:39,640 Speaker 1: impossible questions like do you have references? Like who could 247 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:43,200 Speaker 1: possibly give a reference for me on the Moon? Neil Armstrong? 248 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:50,080 Speaker 1: Have you ever been evicted from another slestial body? I'm 249 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:55,800 Speaker 1: barely I'm barely a proof for Earth, frankly. And you 250 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:57,520 Speaker 1: know there's gonna be that one guy who's lived on 251 00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,400 Speaker 1: the Moon for like six months and suddenly he comes 252 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:04,120 Speaker 1: he's just superior to everybody. Oh, you still live on Earth? Yeah, Brent, 253 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:08,480 Speaker 1: because I enjoy things like oxygen not exploding. The Moon 254 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:10,720 Speaker 1: people are gonna be insufferable. I mean I can just 255 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:15,200 Speaker 1: see it now. They'll come back from holidays acting all fancy. Oh, 256 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:20,120 Speaker 1: you've never had moon coffee. The gravity changes the flavor. No, 257 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:26,360 Speaker 1: it doesn't chat. It's literally folders. You paid nineteen dollars 258 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:31,680 Speaker 1: for it because it comes in a silver pouch. It's America, baby, 259 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,320 Speaker 1: And eventually, just like everywhere else, the Moon's gonna have 260 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:39,960 Speaker 1: its own Facebook neighborhood page. Did anybody else hear a 261 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,920 Speaker 1: loud noise in your creator seven? Yeah, Sharon, that was 262 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:47,880 Speaker 1: a meteor. Also, if anybody has my casserole dish, please 263 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:52,560 Speaker 1: return it. Those moon Hoa meetings, though your rover has 264 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,400 Speaker 1: been parked in front of the habitat for too long. Oh, 265 00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:59,080 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Sally, I was just trying not to die. 266 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,840 Speaker 1: Oh so your satellite dish is the wrong color. You 267 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:05,080 Speaker 1: know what, forget it. I'd just rather move and hurt. 268 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:12,320 Speaker 1: I'd just rather live on Earth. That's life on the moon, baby, 269 00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:16,280 Speaker 1: that is life on the Moon. But at the end 270 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:21,560 Speaker 1: of the day, did we go to the moon? Did 271 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:24,480 Speaker 1: this latest NASA moon trip take us to the moon 272 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:28,000 Speaker 1: or did they just do the old drive by fly around? 273 00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:30,720 Speaker 1: Say they did it and go home. I don't think 274 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,119 Speaker 1: it counts. This was not a moon trip. This was 275 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:38,320 Speaker 1: more like moon flirting. This only counts now when somebody 276 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,639 Speaker 1: lands opens a buffalo wild wings and gets denied for 277 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:43,760 Speaker 1: a moon apartment, that's about it. If you could hit 278 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,439 Speaker 1: a soft ball and let it fly off into space, 279 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:52,679 Speaker 1: then we can talk. When is NASTI gonna get real 280 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:56,199 Speaker 1: about this stuff? I mean, at this point, Katie Perry 281 00:17:56,200 --> 00:18:00,600 Speaker 1: got closer to the Moon than I think these astronauts did. 282 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:05,200 Speaker 1: I love how in twenty five it was about Katy 283 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:07,840 Speaker 1: Perry going to the Earth's atmosphere or right on the 284 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:12,440 Speaker 1: brink of space, right just as we're gravity held no more. 285 00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:17,399 Speaker 1: That was a big deal, and it is just like 286 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:21,040 Speaker 1: these astronauts in twenty six doing the drive by around 287 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:24,520 Speaker 1: the Moon is a big deal. But at the end 288 00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:35,480 Speaker 1: of the day, guys, we didn't land on the moon, Johnny, 289 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:39,960 Speaker 1: should we call this a laugh with me? Reports are? 290 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,800 Speaker 1: We just were just banging out a new laugh with me. 291 00:18:43,359 --> 00:18:46,120 Speaker 1: That's that's I don't know that we reported. We did 292 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:49,399 Speaker 1: mock a little bit. Sorry NASA. I again all credit 293 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:55,600 Speaker 1: to these astronauts for what was a very dangerous trip, 294 00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,159 Speaker 1: and it sounded like they had lots of obstacles, like 295 00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,520 Speaker 1: the toilets didn't work at one point. To me, that 296 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,480 Speaker 1: was the scariest part of this whole thing. I mean, 297 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:07,639 Speaker 1: forget the potential for exploding the fact that you couldn't 298 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:10,920 Speaker 1: even use the toilet for a bit. I can't even imagine. 299 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:15,520 Speaker 1: Do they let people with chrones up in space? That 300 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:19,080 Speaker 1: would have been scary. And then if it if it 301 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:21,560 Speaker 1: just got to the point where you had an accident 302 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,920 Speaker 1: in your spacesuit. I mean, can you imagine that floating 303 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:31,639 Speaker 1: up into your your helmet? What are we even talking about, Johnny? 304 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:36,760 Speaker 1: This You can't let me rant like this. You just 305 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:41,280 Speaker 1: you just can't let me rant like thee send me 306 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:41,680 Speaker 1: to the Moon.