WEBVTT - I Do Part 2 Crew Gets Wild 0:00:15.240 --> 0:00:17.919 Hey there, everybody, and welcome to I Do Part two, 0:00:18.480 --> 0:00:21.919 the podcast if you got love right the first time around, 0:00:21.920 --> 0:00:25.760 this is not the podcast for you. I am one 0:00:25.800 --> 0:00:29.320 of your hosts, TJ. Holmes, alongside my dear lovely Amy Robach. 0:00:29.360 --> 0:00:31.240 And this will be the last time you hear my 0:00:31.440 --> 0:00:34.400 voice in this podcast because I'm sitting here with. 0:00:34.440 --> 0:00:39.800 Two very excuse me, one, two, three, four, five very 0:00:39.840 --> 0:00:43.400 strong willed women. So signing off TJ. 0:00:43.479 --> 0:00:45.240 Holmes. Oh that's so funny. 0:00:45.320 --> 0:00:48.279 Yes, No, we have our favorite people, Yes, our I 0:00:48.360 --> 0:00:51.560 Do Part two family right now. So we have Kelly, Jen, 0:00:52.040 --> 0:00:57.800 Susan and Kathy and y'all. We're all here together in 0:00:57.840 --> 0:01:00.360 Los Angeles and it's like a reunion here. We're having 0:01:00.360 --> 0:01:03.640 a blast, but we have some very deep questions. Are 0:01:03.680 --> 0:01:05.000 you guys in a mood or in a. 0:01:05.360 --> 0:01:09.080 Yeah to get deep with the deeper the battle, ya, 0:01:11.360 --> 0:01:13.600 Can you set the scene for everybody now, you all, 0:01:13.680 --> 0:01:18.760 we are sitting in a small hotel room in Brentwood, California. 0:01:19.600 --> 0:01:20.760 We are sitting around. 0:01:20.840 --> 0:01:24.319 There is an empty vodka Red Bull that Kathy's no drinking. 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:27.240 That was a mimosa or in Susan's head. 0:01:28.880 --> 0:01:29.360 Exactly. 0:01:32.600 --> 0:01:37.520 Amy Robo sitting on t J Holmes lap, big, big, 0:01:37.720 --> 0:01:42.560 huge engagement ringggy so gorgeous. 0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:47.680 It is yellow yellow sapphire. I mean, can I just. 0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:49.960 Say it's you? I have a sapphire ring on that 0:01:50.120 --> 0:01:53.560 is chips. Let me just say, but I. 0:01:53.520 --> 0:02:03.960 Don't feel bad gorgeous, I said, party, it's mimosa yellow. 0:02:04.280 --> 0:02:08.760 All right. So look, we have actually talked about this 0:02:08.800 --> 0:02:09.079 a lot. 0:02:09.120 --> 0:02:12.040 We were best friends for years and years and years 0:02:12.040 --> 0:02:16.359 before anything became romantic. Should you value being best friends 0:02:16.880 --> 0:02:19.799 or should you value chemistry in a relationship? 0:02:19.919 --> 0:02:20.880 Well, it's best friends. 0:02:20.919 --> 0:02:22.120 Susan and I are about to get in. 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:31.000 You're like, that's what I think. You're both really important. 0:02:31.400 --> 0:02:32.400 I think you can. 0:02:32.680 --> 0:02:35.320 I think you don't have to be best friends first, 0:02:35.320 --> 0:02:36.880 but I think it's great if you are. And I 0:02:36.880 --> 0:02:40.280 think if you can develop into best friends, even better. 0:02:40.400 --> 0:02:44.640 But I think chemistry, chemistry can make chemistry. You cannot 0:02:44.680 --> 0:02:45.080 deny it. 0:02:45.120 --> 0:02:47.160 I mean, I think when you're younger, it's really important 0:02:47.160 --> 0:02:49.839 to be best friends because you're going to be cultivating 0:02:49.919 --> 0:02:52.920 this life. But like, I'm fifty seven years old. I 0:02:52.960 --> 0:02:56.720 want chemistry. I want fire, I want passion, I want fun. 0:02:56.919 --> 0:03:01.359 I use me, excuse me. Yeah, I'm just saying, I'm 0:03:01.360 --> 0:03:02.120 just giving you don't. 0:03:05.000 --> 0:03:06.679 I will tell you, guys, I did not have chemistry 0:03:06.680 --> 0:03:09.200 with my husband at all. There was no passion for me. 0:03:09.720 --> 0:03:11.520 I think for him there was. I'm just being honest. 0:03:11.680 --> 0:03:15.120 Like we're married now twenty six years. He was so 0:03:15.320 --> 0:03:17.079 persistent and I you know. 0:03:17.000 --> 0:03:19.280 I always said, like, the only thing I care about, 0:03:19.400 --> 0:03:19.960 I don't care. 0:03:19.960 --> 0:03:22.160 I don't give it. She doesn't have to be gorgeous, 0:03:22.240 --> 0:03:24.480 he doesn't have to be rich, she doesn't have to 0:03:24.480 --> 0:03:26.560 be I just want him tall because I always feel 0:03:26.560 --> 0:03:27.200 like a big girl. 0:03:27.280 --> 0:03:31.720 I'm sorry, wait a minute, give up money and passion 0:03:32.280 --> 0:03:32.800 for height. 0:03:33.160 --> 0:03:33.920 Well I did. 0:03:34.120 --> 0:03:36.280 If you well, if you think that, I'm sorry, I'm 0:03:36.280 --> 0:03:38.800 going to tell you, I'm going to tell you. 0:03:38.680 --> 0:03:42.120 So so right, So what I actually I actually didn't 0:03:42.120 --> 0:03:42.680 care about hype. 0:03:42.680 --> 0:03:48.280 My husband is five six. I did well. I thought 0:03:48.320 --> 0:03:49.160 I wanted tall too. 0:03:49.240 --> 0:03:51.040 But I'm saying I was from the first second I 0:03:51.040 --> 0:03:52.840 saw him, I was like, not so much. 0:03:53.360 --> 0:03:57.040 And we became best friends and and I mean he 0:03:57.400 --> 0:03:58.400 didn't feel like I did. 0:03:58.440 --> 0:03:58.920 I used. 0:03:58.960 --> 0:04:01.600 I said to him once, there's just no spark here. 0:04:01.880 --> 0:04:09.840 There's just nothing. No, I wasn't married because I think 0:04:09.840 --> 0:04:12.920 he grew I mean, I honestly, I loved him so 0:04:13.120 --> 0:04:15.440 much and at one point he was like, I can't 0:04:15.440 --> 0:04:18.120 do this anymore, and I'm like, whoa wait a second, 0:04:18.160 --> 0:04:18.880 I love you. 0:04:19.160 --> 0:04:19.960 Where are you going? 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:21.599 So sweet? 0:04:22.600 --> 0:04:29.000 Necessarily princes he does, but it's not I just love him. 0:04:29.040 --> 0:04:30.680 I just respected my love. I mean we're on our 0:04:30.680 --> 0:04:32.680 part too as well. We were separated for like a 0:04:32.760 --> 0:04:35.880 year and a half. But yeah, I just it didn't 0:04:35.920 --> 0:04:37.280 start for me with chemistry. 0:04:37.520 --> 0:04:37.760 Wow. 0:04:37.960 --> 0:04:42.120 Yeah, but is it necessary to chemistry friendship? 0:04:42.400 --> 0:04:42.720 I don't know. 0:04:42.880 --> 0:04:44.080 She's wrapped around. 0:04:46.800 --> 0:04:47.120 You know what. 0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:50.359 I think we didn't recognize it or acknowledge it because 0:04:50.360 --> 0:04:53.240 we were not in a position to even consider the 0:04:53.279 --> 0:04:56.719 other as a romantic partner. But there was always a spark, 0:04:56.800 --> 0:04:59.520 and I will say there were always rumors that something 0:04:59.600 --> 0:05:02.080 was going on the us when they were like absolutely not, 0:05:02.160 --> 0:05:05.159 we're just friends. I will say he was the person 0:05:05.600 --> 0:05:09.280 wherever like groups would gather a journalist, I would seek 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:11.080 him out and we'd see each other across the room 0:05:11.080 --> 0:05:14.080 and would where are you? And we would always end 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:17.040 up together hanging out, laughing, having a blast. 0:05:17.240 --> 0:05:19.839 So for me, when you ask if if there's chemistry, 0:05:20.040 --> 0:05:22.559 I met my husband when I was eighteen years old, 0:05:22.720 --> 0:05:26.120 my now deceased husband and I looked across the room. 0:05:26.600 --> 0:05:30.240 We locked eyes, and I looked at my sweet mate 0:05:30.400 --> 0:05:31.800 standing next to me and I said, you see that 0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:32.440 guy over there. 0:05:32.680 --> 0:05:33.120 She said yeah. 0:05:33.160 --> 0:05:35.000 I said, I'm going to marry him, and I did 0:05:35.080 --> 0:05:37.880 eighteen months later. There was just we locked eyes and 0:05:37.920 --> 0:05:40.919 I just felt it. I know that sounds crazy, but 0:05:41.000 --> 0:05:42.799 we were married almost forty six years. 0:05:43.600 --> 0:05:45.120 There was just something about it. 0:05:45.120 --> 0:05:47.680 But we weren't best friends, and I'll be honest, we 0:05:47.680 --> 0:05:48.880 were never best friends. 0:05:48.920 --> 0:06:01.360 Oh wow, would you tell your kids that it was 0:06:01.400 --> 0:06:04.320 so important in the chemistry now that you've lived and learned, 0:06:04.320 --> 0:06:06.080 would you say you have to have it off the. 0:06:06.080 --> 0:06:09.839 Bat for me my kids. 0:06:10.480 --> 0:06:14.799 So, my son got divorced after a three year marriage 0:06:14.839 --> 0:06:17.120 and now he's married to the woman of his dreams, 0:06:17.240 --> 0:06:19.800 and I think when he met her, the chemistry is immediate. 0:06:20.200 --> 0:06:23.440 My daughter, when she met her husband, she was like, 0:06:23.960 --> 0:06:25.680 I'm not interested in all in this guy, and by 0:06:25.680 --> 0:06:27.840 the end of the afternoon they were locked in. 0:06:27.920 --> 0:06:30.600 So I don't know. I think for everyone it's different. 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:35.000 I think ideally I would love to have my best 0:06:35.040 --> 0:06:38.520 friend have it grow from best friend to I think 0:06:38.560 --> 0:06:41.040 that would be my dream. But at this point, I'll 0:06:41.080 --> 0:06:44.559 take a guy who's above ground, just about ground. 0:06:44.600 --> 0:06:45.600 That's the baseline. 0:06:45.880 --> 0:06:49.280 So I, you know, my only husband. I was very 0:06:49.279 --> 0:06:52.680 young when I met him. I was nineteen, and it 0:06:52.720 --> 0:06:54.600 was like he was like a Neanderthal. He like pulled 0:06:54.600 --> 0:06:56.120 me by my hair and he was like, she's going 0:06:56.200 --> 0:06:58.680 to be mine. And I happened to look like his 0:06:59.320 --> 0:07:02.240 second wife. So we had that in comments. But he 0:07:02.279 --> 0:07:03.680 was very much like that. It was kind of like 0:07:03.720 --> 0:07:05.680 the persistent I mean, you know, I mean, did I 0:07:05.680 --> 0:07:08.520 ever think I would marry like a shorter, curly haired 0:07:08.560 --> 0:07:11.120 frenchman like I'm from Rockford, Illinois. 0:07:11.160 --> 0:07:12.880 Like no, I was thinking athlete. 0:07:13.160 --> 0:07:17.200 I was thinking like, you know some maybe one from 0:07:17.800 --> 0:07:19.520 treat Trick something like that. 0:07:19.640 --> 0:07:20.840 You know, it goes kind of by. 0:07:20.760 --> 0:07:24.400 The drummer Robin Xander, Hello, I'm Lexander. 0:07:24.120 --> 0:07:27.000 Bunny, Carlos, you know any of those guys. So there's 0:07:27.000 --> 0:07:27.760 a laundry list. 0:07:27.960 --> 0:07:30.000 But yeah, I was not thinking that like a French 0:07:30.000 --> 0:07:32.600 guy that was with curly hair, who was like literally 0:07:32.680 --> 0:07:33.400 like you mine. 0:07:33.440 --> 0:07:35.160 Now, I was like that French. 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:37.120 For me. 0:07:37.280 --> 0:07:40.760 Now it's different than I don't care if a man 0:07:40.880 --> 0:07:45.200 is overweight or not tall enough. I do prefer tall man. 0:07:46.240 --> 0:07:49.040 But it's different now because I'm not looking to build 0:07:49.080 --> 0:07:52.240 a family. I'm not looking for my first house in 0:07:52.280 --> 0:07:56.840 the white picket fence. I'm looking for my friend, the 0:07:56.960 --> 0:07:59.320 guy that I'm going to get old with. And that 0:07:59.480 --> 0:08:02.080 still makes me laugh. Yeah, and sex is. 0:08:02.040 --> 0:08:06.160 Important, okay, But Susan, if there's I'm going to take issue. 0:08:06.600 --> 0:08:10.040 I think at our ready we're going to take issue. There. 0:08:10.560 --> 0:08:15.040 Wait, Susan, No matter what, you still have to build 0:08:15.040 --> 0:08:16.520 a life for the guy, you know. 0:08:16.800 --> 0:08:19.920 And so whether it's long distance, I. 0:08:21.400 --> 0:08:24.520 Got sorry, I got thirty years left in name, I'm like, oh, 0:08:24.640 --> 0:08:28.800 I just think it's I think that we overplace sometimes 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:31.520 the idea that you know, our children are both of 0:08:31.560 --> 0:08:34.120 our children are grown and they're gone and they have 0:08:34.200 --> 0:08:38.200 their own families. But still, when you're looking for that partner, 0:08:39.200 --> 0:08:42.320 you want someone where you have the same values, where yes, 0:08:42.360 --> 0:08:44.439 you want to that's the. 0:08:44.720 --> 0:08:47.240 Not even I don't know about the same exact values. 0:08:47.280 --> 0:08:49.599 But I really like my husband. I forget about the 0:08:49.600 --> 0:08:52.000 fact that I love him like I really like him. 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:54.439 I think you just nailed it for me like that 0:08:54.520 --> 0:08:57.400 has been like like and respect for two things that 0:08:57.480 --> 0:08:59.600 I wasn't really considering when I was younger, and I 0:08:59.640 --> 0:09:01.120 realized that is what ended. 0:09:01.040 --> 0:09:03.840 Up biting me in the ass, because if. 0:09:03.679 --> 0:09:06.000 You don't like the person you're with, and if you 0:09:06.040 --> 0:09:10.319 don't respect how they operate in the world, you are 0:09:10.480 --> 0:09:13.600 doomed and you can try whatever and it doesn't work. 0:09:13.640 --> 0:09:15.920 And so this has been amazing to actually have a 0:09:15.960 --> 0:09:19.560 friend who you like, who you respect, and obviously have 0:09:19.600 --> 0:09:20.520 a spark. 0:09:20.360 --> 0:09:23.280 Yes, but the purpose. 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:27.800 I feel like you said about liking respect, and I 0:09:27.840 --> 0:09:29.839 think what happens with a lot of people in relationships 0:09:29.880 --> 0:09:32.400 is they have these expectations of what this person could 0:09:32.440 --> 0:09:34.640 be is going to be just. 0:09:34.640 --> 0:09:35.920 You can make them become. 0:09:37.480 --> 0:09:39.400 I know they can be this. I know they're going 0:09:39.440 --> 0:09:43.600 to be like that. I'm not who people think I am. 0:09:43.720 --> 0:09:46.480 I am exactly who I am. I don't make any 0:09:46.559 --> 0:09:49.240 I'm not gonna sit here and apologize for who I 0:09:49.240 --> 0:09:51.040 am or what I do, or how I make money 0:09:51.120 --> 0:09:52.760 or the businesses that I do, or how I raise 0:09:52.840 --> 0:09:54.520 my kids. Like I've done the best that I can. 0:09:54.559 --> 0:09:57.040 This is who I am. So you cannot change me. 0:09:57.679 --> 0:10:00.320 You can embrace me, you can move me in a 0:10:00.360 --> 0:10:02.800 direction that can help me, but you can't. 0:10:03.720 --> 0:10:06.920 We just talked about show me who you are. Don't 0:10:06.920 --> 0:10:07.839 tell me who you are. 0:10:08.360 --> 0:10:11.800 You will show me who you are by our interactions. 0:10:11.840 --> 0:10:14.520 You can tell me you're a man of integrity, you're 0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:17.520 a you're a great parent, You're this, You're that. I'm 0:10:17.520 --> 0:10:19.640 going to watch You're going to show me who you are, 0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:20.640 and that's how I'm going. 0:10:20.640 --> 0:10:21.240 To judge you. 0:10:21.400 --> 0:10:23.920 So hearing all of us, what are the hopes for us? 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:26.640 Wait, you guys, can I just say something? 0:10:26.679 --> 0:10:28.280 I just thought that was so interesting what you guys 0:10:28.360 --> 0:10:33.080 just said, because my part one, because we did separate 0:10:33.120 --> 0:10:34.480 for a year and a half and ended up getting 0:10:34.480 --> 0:10:37.040 back together, but I think during part one I wanted 0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:40.240 him to change and I wanted him so. My husband 0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:43.960 is an introvert. It's kind of cerebral. And we would 0:10:43.960 --> 0:10:47.440 go out with other couples and I would and I 0:10:47.559 --> 0:10:50.960 just wouldn't. He just wouldn't engage, and it would make 0:10:51.000 --> 0:10:56.240 me furious. And now after all of these years, I 0:10:56.240 --> 0:10:57.280 couldn't give twos. 0:10:57.440 --> 0:10:59.760 It just gives me more room to talk like that's 0:10:59.760 --> 0:11:02.880 how you shine. Or even if he doesn't, even if 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:04.679 he doesn't like, I just don't care. I like him 0:11:04.720 --> 0:11:05.679 so much, you know. 0:11:05.800 --> 0:11:07.960 So the interesting thing is that like For me, the 0:11:08.040 --> 0:11:10.840 role is reversed because I'm I am just like watching. 0:11:10.840 --> 0:11:13.000 I mean, I have a twin brother. I was raised 0:11:13.000 --> 0:11:16.280 with a male all my life, so I understand how how. 0:11:16.160 --> 0:11:19.400 They move, they walk, they talk, everything, and I embrace 0:11:19.480 --> 0:11:21.280 all of that, so I don't have this like. 0:11:21.440 --> 0:11:22.360 What's the guy going to do? 0:11:22.480 --> 0:11:23.920 How is he going to react? Because I have a 0:11:23.920 --> 0:11:28.040 twin brother. Yeah, I have the opposite problem. Guys are 0:11:28.080 --> 0:11:30.600 always like, well are you like this? 0:11:30.679 --> 0:11:31.679 So you're going to be like that? 0:11:31.840 --> 0:11:34.200 And I'm the one that they're putting all the expectations on. 0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:36.559 I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like all I want to 0:11:36.600 --> 0:11:39.880 do is just be in a healthy, happy, loving environment 0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:43.760 where I can shine and do well, that's all. 0:11:44.160 --> 0:11:44.360 You know. 0:11:44.440 --> 0:11:47.240 Where are you? Where are you in your dating because 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:49.679 the last time we talked to you someone, there was 0:11:49.720 --> 0:11:52.720 something going on. I don't want to there was. Is 0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:58.880 that something still going on? It is? 0:11:59.240 --> 0:12:04.319 Look at it in the same city as you. 0:12:06.760 --> 0:12:14.120 He's like, yeah, guy, all right, he's the guy. Guy Okay, is. 0:12:14.160 --> 0:12:17.520 So great and he has his own life, beautiful kids, 0:12:17.760 --> 0:12:22.439 great ex wife. Like everyone, he's in a little a 0:12:22.480 --> 0:12:23.800 little bit, a bit further away. 0:12:24.080 --> 0:12:27.600 Yeah, yeah, A couple of states. But he's not that far. 0:12:27.679 --> 0:12:29.760 It's like a couple of hours away. And you know, 0:12:29.800 --> 0:12:32.880 we see each other a lot, and he's a really. 0:12:33.320 --> 0:12:38.280 He's very protective of me without being to push me. 0:12:38.960 --> 0:12:41.200 Like he's not like Kelly, be better, He's just like, 0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:43.360 how are you? You're great today? Everything's going to be 0:12:43.360 --> 0:12:44.040 great for you? 0:12:44.200 --> 0:12:47.319 Like I've never had that. I've had like part two 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:48.800 baby that comes with part two. 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:53.360 I just realized one here who does not have a 0:12:53.400 --> 0:12:53.840 part too? 0:12:54.000 --> 0:12:54.240 Yeah? 0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:54.880 What do you mean? 0:12:55.000 --> 0:12:55.360 I said? 0:12:55.440 --> 0:12:57.120 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:12:57.280 --> 0:13:00.480 Do you think that that a relationship and even a 0:13:00.520 --> 0:13:03.640 marriage can survive if you just love each other enough? 0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:06.200 Does it need more than love? Because people, that's always 0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:10.080 a big question, is just loving someone enough? Do you 0:13:10.200 --> 0:13:11.240 answer the tough times? 0:13:11.280 --> 0:13:14.600 You answered it? You need respect. I think that you 0:13:14.679 --> 0:13:17.360 have to respect. The person has to have integrity. Love 0:13:17.679 --> 0:13:18.360 is not enough. 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:19.760 It love goes away. 0:13:20.280 --> 0:13:24.280 It's a feeling that can come and go. And if 0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:26.120 you don't I don't think if you don't have the 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:27.920 foundation of like and respect. 0:13:27.640 --> 0:13:31.720 You stop looking at me. Why why is there a 0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:33.280 look going on between the two of you? 0:13:34.559 --> 0:13:41.200 So Amy, So I I was honest and I have 0:13:41.320 --> 0:13:43.400 never been in love before. 0:13:43.760 --> 0:13:44.680 Again I had. 0:13:44.800 --> 0:13:48.760 I've loved people, but I've never been in love. I've 0:13:48.800 --> 0:13:51.200 never been like, oh my god, like I'm actually like 0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:52.360 in love with someone. 0:13:52.400 --> 0:13:54.400 Well, how do you know that? And what is the measure? 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:57.080 Is it different for I don't know. 0:13:57.040 --> 0:13:59.400 What the actual what it is. I don't know what 0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:01.559 the box is to check off. It's just like, Okay, 0:14:01.600 --> 0:14:03.800 now you're in love. Like I don't know what button 0:14:03.840 --> 0:14:06.280 to push. I don't know what that is. I just 0:14:06.360 --> 0:14:09.640 know the feeling of like how I can care for someone, 0:14:10.040 --> 0:14:13.320 nurture them, you know, be there for them. 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:14.520 But I'm I don't. 0:14:14.559 --> 0:14:19.800 I've never had that feeling that is like I that 0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:22.440 person gives me butterfly or. 0:14:23.720 --> 0:14:30.880 Probably every time. 0:14:30.920 --> 0:14:32.480 But I've questioned that myself. 0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:33.600 Have I really ever? 0:14:33.760 --> 0:14:34.840 I'm a nurturing person. 0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:38.400 I'm a very I'm so much I'm Kelly, but I'm 0:14:38.440 --> 0:14:42.840 a very nurturing person. So I think people misconstrue my 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:47.040 nurturing for love. But it's not like I may be 0:14:47.280 --> 0:14:50.080 loving towards you, but I'm not in love with you. 0:15:00.440 --> 0:15:03.000 I tell my daughter all the time, and I'm sure 0:15:03.040 --> 0:15:06.960 you guys know. People say this like the Spark, except 0:15:06.960 --> 0:15:10.360 for Amy and TJ. The spark fades, right, and I 0:15:10.400 --> 0:15:14.200 always say you gotta also use your head, and I 0:15:15.480 --> 0:15:18.840 maybe yeah, but also maybe kel like you're not calling 0:15:18.840 --> 0:15:20.560 it in love, but I'm sure you've had that feeling 0:15:20.680 --> 0:15:22.920 or your heart races. You can't be waiting for them 0:15:22.920 --> 0:15:25.160 to call or you're together, and no. 0:15:26.800 --> 0:15:27.360 Not really. 0:15:27.560 --> 0:15:29.920 So I've never heard for I was like, they're great, 0:15:30.000 --> 0:15:30.720 They're so nice. 0:15:30.760 --> 0:15:33.480 But I've also you know, I've been doing so many 0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:36.840 jobs and providing for so long. But I feel like, 0:15:36.880 --> 0:15:39.240 in some ways, I'm like that businessman that's like, all 0:15:39.280 --> 0:15:41.000 of a sudden, he's like made the money and has 0:15:41.040 --> 0:15:41.360 all I know. 0:15:41.440 --> 0:15:43.040 He's like, Okay, now I want my life. 0:15:43.080 --> 0:15:46.160 Like I've like, I've just been working like an animal 0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:48.960 for so long, so I've never been in the time. 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:50.960 I've never like looked reflected back. 0:15:50.800 --> 0:15:54.120 And been like that person gave me those feelings because 0:15:54.160 --> 0:15:55.880 I wasn't even available for them. 0:15:55.920 --> 0:15:58.440 I was totally emotionally under It's. 0:15:58.280 --> 0:16:02.160 So interesting you say that because I would say, until now, yes, 0:16:02.280 --> 0:16:05.320 I have been married to my job. My job and 0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:09.760 my career was my passion, and so it allowed me 0:16:09.880 --> 0:16:13.040 to be in relationships and stay in them because my 0:16:13.160 --> 0:16:16.000 passions and my love was being met at work. 0:16:16.280 --> 0:16:17.760 Is that if that makes any sense. 0:16:18.080 --> 0:16:20.360 And this is the first time I feel like a teenager, 0:16:20.800 --> 0:16:23.280 and it's like, this is what people have felt like, 0:16:23.400 --> 0:16:26.480 Oh my god, when it happened, you recognize that it's 0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:29.440 never happened before. And so that has been an interesting 0:16:29.880 --> 0:16:32.920 experience for me, just to go through emotions that sometimes 0:16:32.960 --> 0:16:36.200 I think a lot of people luckily have in their 0:16:36.200 --> 0:16:37.360 teens or their early twenties. 0:16:37.720 --> 0:16:39.840 Now I know this is all new. 0:16:40.320 --> 0:16:42.880 Remember my daughter saying to me she would meet someone 0:16:43.440 --> 0:16:47.880 and just she would go, Mom, I met my husband tonight. Now, 0:16:48.040 --> 0:16:52.040 for some of us, obviously that worked out for Rachel 0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:54.560 in that case, you've met about seventeen husbands. 0:16:55.280 --> 0:16:57.480 But let me just say I have said, yeah, I'm 0:16:57.520 --> 0:17:00.480 also now I may only single one here, the only 0:17:00.560 --> 0:17:01.080 widow here. 0:17:01.160 --> 0:17:04.439 And I will say that the biggest lesson I have learned, 0:17:05.000 --> 0:17:08.119 and I'm admitting this right here publicly, I tried to 0:17:08.200 --> 0:17:08.960 change my husband. 0:17:09.160 --> 0:17:10.680 My husband was also an introvert. 0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:14.320 He was also very subrebral, and I want it because 0:17:14.400 --> 0:17:15.800 I have never met a stranger. 0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:18.560 It was hard when we would go to comsole parties. 0:17:18.600 --> 0:17:20.000 I had to carry all the load. 0:17:21.040 --> 0:17:24.399 But now if he were back now I realized what 0:17:24.440 --> 0:17:25.199 a gift it was. 0:17:25.880 --> 0:17:26.840 What a gift it was. 0:17:27.920 --> 0:17:31.879 So even said to me recently that that's something that 0:17:31.920 --> 0:17:33.760 you would change if you find love. 0:17:33.920 --> 0:17:36.359 And that's exactly so I have learned. 0:17:36.920 --> 0:17:39.639 I learned it the hardest way possible, that if I 0:17:39.720 --> 0:17:43.600 get my second chance at love, that's. 0:17:43.119 --> 0:17:49.640 Going to get such improved me the best When when when? When? 0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:52.479 So you know, you learn things, and you learn it 0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:56.119 by divorce, you learn it by any kind of loss. 0:17:56.640 --> 0:17:59.560 When they say every relationship you learn a lesson, you. 0:17:59.560 --> 0:18:03.000 Do sometimes some people don't learn though. 0:18:03.520 --> 0:18:05.520 I keep repeating the same things. 0:18:06.520 --> 0:18:10.200 I mean, I fall fast and hard and it's fun 0:18:10.240 --> 0:18:13.639 and it's exciting, and six to nine months later you 0:18:13.720 --> 0:18:16.080 start looking at the real picture. 0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:18.840 Going I do. But you, guys, even if this is 0:18:18.880 --> 0:18:20.720 not you're not in a relationship right now, like it's 0:18:20.760 --> 0:18:22.399 still your part two. Like I don't feel like you 0:18:22.440 --> 0:18:25.520 had a part one. Like you're living your part two, 0:18:25.760 --> 0:18:27.640 whether or not you. 0:18:27.520 --> 0:18:29.520 Are in love. Look at the experience, however, you both 0:18:30.040 --> 0:18:30.600 like me, I. 0:18:30.560 --> 0:18:33.080 Feel like you got to reinvent yourself at an age 0:18:33.119 --> 0:18:34.760 in your life, like not a lot of people do. 0:18:34.880 --> 0:18:37.200 And you're hosting these podcasts and you're. 0:18:37.119 --> 0:18:40.080 Still and grateful for that, truly grateful for that. Yeah. 0:18:40.119 --> 0:18:42.119 Also too, to your point, like and when you're like 0:18:42.720 --> 0:18:46.160 when you are a single mother and you're providing, it's 0:18:46.200 --> 0:18:47.960 like you're not in your feelings. Even though I was 0:18:47.960 --> 0:18:50.159 on Housewives and everyone was asking about talking to me 0:18:50.160 --> 0:18:52.520 about their feelings, I'm like, what are you talking about? 0:18:52.600 --> 0:18:52.959 I know. 0:18:53.359 --> 0:18:56.600 I'm like, I'm sorry, I have time. 0:18:56.359 --> 0:18:59.000 For feelings, like you're feelings. 0:18:58.920 --> 0:19:02.080 You're feelings. Oh, I have a hope. I'm like, you're speaking. 0:19:02.200 --> 0:19:05.240 I have a carpool in ten minutes, I know. I 0:19:05.280 --> 0:19:07.520 was like, I'm gonna miss the basketball. Yeah, like what 0:19:08.880 --> 0:19:09.600 you're talking about? 0:19:09.680 --> 0:19:11.320 I want to ask you all because we're gonna wrap 0:19:11.359 --> 0:19:11.600 this up. 0:19:11.600 --> 0:19:13.400 But I think this is something that a lot of 0:19:13.720 --> 0:19:16.280