1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:04,000 Speaker 1: All right, just a quick reminder, guys, there are forty 2 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:08,880 Speaker 1: nine days. That means seven weeks, seven weeks until the 3 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:13,800 Speaker 1: November third election. Please, we are begging you, We are 4 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:17,240 Speaker 1: begging you. Please go get registered now. Go to vote 5 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:21,279 Speaker 1: dot org vote dot org. Also get your dates as 6 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:24,560 Speaker 1: to when you can vote early in your state. Okay, 7 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 1: we are voting early this year. We are voting early. 8 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:31,560 Speaker 1: This is not a real stop playing. Yes, yes, you 9 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:35,360 Speaker 1: gotta get prepared. That means young people, everyone get out 10 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:39,840 Speaker 1: and vote. Please exercise that right, Yeah, all right, time 11 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:43,560 Speaker 1: now for today's Strawberry Letter. Yeah, if you need advice 12 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 1: and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more, please submit 13 00:00:47,159 --> 00:00:51,040 Speaker 1: your Strawberry letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and click 14 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:54,160 Speaker 1: submit Strawberry Letter. You never know we could be reading 15 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:57,200 Speaker 1: your letter live on the air, just like we're gonna 16 00:00:57,240 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now, bug and hold 17 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:05,600 Speaker 1: on tight. Here it is Strawberry letter. Subject should I 18 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:09,760 Speaker 1: tell him to stay with his wife? Dear Stephen Shirley, 19 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:12,920 Speaker 1: I'm fifty six years old and I'm dating a sixty 20 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:15,800 Speaker 1: one year old man that is separated from his wife. 21 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 1: He has been pursuing me for a while and when 22 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:21,800 Speaker 1: he got a legal separation and moved out. We started dating. 23 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:25,480 Speaker 1: That was four years ago, and our relationship isn't what 24 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:28,840 Speaker 1: it used to be because his divorce has taken a 25 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:32,520 Speaker 1: toll on him. He has paid over twelve thousand dollars 26 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 1: to his attorney, and he's got to pay the wife's 27 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:38,440 Speaker 1: legal fees too. He's agreed to give his wife the 28 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:41,120 Speaker 1: house in half of his pension, which is a little 29 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:45,039 Speaker 1: over three hundred k. The wife also has asked for 30 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 1: monthly spousal support because she hasn't worked in years. I 31 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:51,360 Speaker 1: feel bad for my boyfriend because he's worked hard all 32 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,640 Speaker 1: of his life and when the divorce is final, he 33 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:56,080 Speaker 1: won't have much left to show for it. He's been 34 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:58,480 Speaker 1: up front about everything and he's going through with the 35 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:02,680 Speaker 1: divorce and the chain in his finances. When we started dating, 36 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,320 Speaker 1: he was living in one of his rental properties, so 37 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:07,520 Speaker 1: he's having to fix it up because he can't afford 38 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,160 Speaker 1: to buy a condo like he wanted to. We don't 39 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:12,680 Speaker 1: go out as much as we used to because he 40 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:15,600 Speaker 1: has to watch his spending. He keeps saying that he 41 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:18,560 Speaker 1: loves me because I'm a real ride or die type woman, 42 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 1: and he's grateful for me. But what he really doesn't 43 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,960 Speaker 1: know is that I'm ready to break up with him 44 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:25,600 Speaker 1: because I am not willing to invest any more time 45 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:28,000 Speaker 1: into building him up and helping him get back on 46 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 1: his feet. I'm interested in a more stable situation now 47 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:35,079 Speaker 1: that I'm older. I love him dearly, but I don't 48 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:37,280 Speaker 1: want him to leave his wife if he is only 49 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:40,840 Speaker 1: doing it to be with me. I've been thinking wighs 50 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,040 Speaker 1: to break it to him? Should I tell him to 51 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:46,400 Speaker 1: stay with his wife? Okay, I think you left a 52 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 1: lot of stuff out of this letter. You kind of 53 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:52,200 Speaker 1: go from you know, he's been pursuing you and you know, 54 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:55,120 Speaker 1: to dating you, and now you don't want to build 55 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:57,359 Speaker 1: him up and help him get back on his feet. 56 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:01,160 Speaker 1: So I'm confused here. What is it that you really want? 57 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:05,240 Speaker 1: What is it? I don't think you're being honest. I 58 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,320 Speaker 1: just don't. I don't think you're being honest. I don't 59 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 1: think the letter has anything to do really with what 60 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:14,240 Speaker 1: you're saying it has to do with I think that 61 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,400 Speaker 1: you should just come on out and say what it 62 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:19,640 Speaker 1: really is. It is the money, isn't it? It is 63 00:03:19,639 --> 00:03:23,080 Speaker 1: the Monty. I just think your whole letter is filled 64 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,840 Speaker 1: with numbers and dollars. Sign not to mention the k's 65 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:30,200 Speaker 1: three hundred K twelve k, which of course means thousands. 66 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:34,160 Speaker 1: Money money, money, That's what it sounds like you're about. 67 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:39,360 Speaker 1: You talk about property. You know, his rental, property finances, condo's, 68 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:43,279 Speaker 1: spousal support. It's all through your letter. He can't afford 69 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:47,040 Speaker 1: to live like he used to live. He the spending 70 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 1: all of that. So just why don't you just put 71 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,400 Speaker 1: this guy out of his misery and go on and 72 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 1: break it off with him now, because once he divorces 73 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 1: his wife, you're not gonna want to be with him 74 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:03,400 Speaker 1: because the money is running out. Just say what it is, Steve. 75 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,880 Speaker 1: I mean, that's all it is, Shirley. You hit it 76 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,880 Speaker 1: right on the head. A couple other trick moves about 77 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:14,880 Speaker 1: this letter too. You know fifty six, he's sixty one, 78 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,479 Speaker 1: separated from a wife. He had been pursuing me for 79 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,359 Speaker 1: a while, and when he got a legal separation and 80 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:25,280 Speaker 1: moved out, we started dating. I don't think that's true. Ye, 81 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:32,160 Speaker 1: So you waited, you miss money hungry, miss concerned, But 82 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:36,479 Speaker 1: you know the dollar amount of everything. He had been 83 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,560 Speaker 1: pursuing me for a while, and when he got a 84 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 1: legal separation and moved out. We started dating lady. Please, 85 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:48,120 Speaker 1: I'm gonna hear well, y'all was kicking it before. That's 86 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:51,279 Speaker 1: why he can't hang on in nothing. Because see, let 87 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:53,600 Speaker 1: me explain something to you from a dude that's been 88 00:04:53,600 --> 00:05:00,120 Speaker 1: divorced twice. You want me to tell you because it 89 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:02,640 Speaker 1: used to be our relations ain't what it used to be. 90 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:06,200 Speaker 1: Because his divorce has taken a toll on him. He 91 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:10,719 Speaker 1: has paid twelve K to his attorney, and he's got 92 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:21,320 Speaker 1: to pay his wife's legal fees too. Why why if 93 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:24,560 Speaker 1: she asked for the divorce, why he got to pay 94 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:28,760 Speaker 1: her legal fees? Unless something came up in the divorce 95 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:34,000 Speaker 1: that made this not just be irreconcilable differences, but some 96 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:38,599 Speaker 1: stuff started coming out. He agreed to give his wife 97 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 1: the house and half of his pension. What whoa get 98 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:47,160 Speaker 1: the house and half the pension? What did he do? 99 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:52,840 Speaker 1: Which is a little over three hundred k. The wife 100 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:56,600 Speaker 1: also has asked for monthly spousal support because she ain't 101 00:05:56,640 --> 00:06:00,719 Speaker 1: worked in years. She gonna get that too. Now. I 102 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 1: feel bad for my boyfriend because he's worked hard all 103 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,960 Speaker 1: his life and when the door says final, he won't 104 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,839 Speaker 1: have much left to show for it. I think you 105 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:14,159 Speaker 1: part of the reason for the divorce, if you ask me. 106 00:06:14,279 --> 00:06:17,800 Speaker 1: I could be wrong, but this letter has, like Shirley says, 107 00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:20,799 Speaker 1: so many open holes in it. And it don't add 108 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,680 Speaker 1: up that he's been up front about everything he's going 109 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 1: through with the divorce and the change in his finances 110 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,760 Speaker 1: because when we started dating, he was living in one 111 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,839 Speaker 1: of his rental properties, so he's having to fix it 112 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:36,040 Speaker 1: up because he can't afford to buy a condo, like 113 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:39,200 Speaker 1: he wanted to. What she really meant to say was 114 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:42,160 Speaker 1: like I wanted to right Hold on, Steve, will have 115 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:45,200 Speaker 1: part two of your response coming up in twenty three 116 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:48,839 Speaker 1: minutes after the hours. Subject of today's Strawberry Letters, Should 117 00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:50,960 Speaker 1: I tell him to stay with his wife? We'll get 118 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:57,000 Speaker 1: back into it right after this. You're listening show, all right, 119 00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:00,400 Speaker 1: Come on, Steve, Let's recap today's Strawberry Letters. Subject? Should 120 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:04,600 Speaker 1: I tell him to stay with his wife? Fifty six 121 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:06,400 Speaker 1: year old woman dating a sixty one year old man 122 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 1: that got separated from his wife, that he had been 123 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,520 Speaker 1: pursuing her for a while, and then when he got 124 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,920 Speaker 1: legal surrept separation, moved out. Then we started dating. I 125 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 1: don't think that's true, but okay, the four years ago 126 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:21,280 Speaker 1: our relationship ain't what it used to be. His divorce 127 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 1: is taking a toll on him. Paid over twelve thousands 128 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:27,160 Speaker 1: to his attorney. He's got to pay his wife's legal 129 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 1: fees too. Okay. He agreed to give his wife the 130 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:33,800 Speaker 1: house and half of his pension, which is a little 131 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:37,160 Speaker 1: over three hundred k. The wife also has asked for 132 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 1: monthly spouse to support because she hasn't worked in years. 133 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:44,960 Speaker 1: What did this dude do? This had to be cheap. Yeah, 134 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 1: with her and lady, you got to think you have 135 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:54,800 Speaker 1: asked why you getting a divorce? You know why you're 136 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 1: getting a divorce. I think it's causing you now. He 137 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:01,600 Speaker 1: hadn't worked all his life. Feel bad for him. He 138 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:05,360 Speaker 1: won't have much left after this divorce. He's been up 139 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,520 Speaker 1: front about everything he's going through. When we started dating, 140 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 1: he was living in one of his rental properties, so 141 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:12,760 Speaker 1: he's having to fix it up because he can't afford 142 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,880 Speaker 1: to buy a condo like he wanted to or like 143 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:19,080 Speaker 1: I wanted to. We don't go out as much as 144 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:22,760 Speaker 1: we used to because he got to watch his spending. Okay, 145 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:25,280 Speaker 1: so if he ain't buying you nothing in paying for outings. 146 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 1: I guess you don't want to do that. He keeps 147 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,079 Speaker 1: saying that he loves me because I'm real ride or 148 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,720 Speaker 1: die type of woman, and he's grateful for me. But 149 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 1: I ain't really know. Damn ride to die, warman, I'm 150 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:42,360 Speaker 1: already dead. I stopped riding a long time ago. When 151 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:44,920 Speaker 1: you can't that health of den house and having your 152 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 1: pure and twelve thousand dollar worst legal fees a monthly 153 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:51,920 Speaker 1: bos support, I ain't ride. I ain't ride, and you 154 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 1: know I can't be ride or die when I quit riding, 155 00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:57,640 Speaker 1: when I found out you ain't hand him all money. 156 00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:01,880 Speaker 1: You even don't fix up at ragged ass condo. Ye, 157 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,520 Speaker 1: what he really don't know is and I'm ready to 158 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:08,520 Speaker 1: break up with him because I'm not willing to invest 159 00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:12,040 Speaker 1: any more time into building him up and helping him 160 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:15,200 Speaker 1: get back on his feet. I'm interested in a more 161 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:18,640 Speaker 1: stable situation now that I'm older. Let me show you 162 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:22,199 Speaker 1: what she said. I'm going to break up with him, 163 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:25,959 Speaker 1: not I'm ready to because I'm not putting no more 164 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,080 Speaker 1: money into this man, because I thought that was gonna 165 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 1: be much more of a payoff than it is. And 166 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,840 Speaker 1: after he losing all this, he ain't gonna have a 167 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:39,480 Speaker 1: damn thing. Then she said, I'm interested in the most 168 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:44,520 Speaker 1: stable situation, meaning I'm interested in somebody else now that 169 00:09:44,679 --> 00:09:48,280 Speaker 1: I'm older. He go to lie. I love him dearly. 170 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,120 Speaker 1: No you don't. But I don't want him to leave 171 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,400 Speaker 1: his wife if he's only doing it to be with me. 172 00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:58,080 Speaker 1: What you that don't make no damn sense. The Sherley 173 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:01,839 Speaker 1: pointed that out. You don't want him to leave his 174 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:06,319 Speaker 1: wife if it means he gonna lose half his pension, 175 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:10,520 Speaker 1: the house, twelve thousand dollars in legal fees, her legal 176 00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:13,280 Speaker 1: fees in monthly spouse or support, because that don't leave 177 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:17,520 Speaker 1: much for you. So he might as well stay to her, 178 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:19,439 Speaker 1: because he ain't what I thought he was gonna be, 179 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:23,920 Speaker 1: not at all. I have been thinking of ways to 180 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:26,160 Speaker 1: break it to him. Should I just tell him to 181 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:29,199 Speaker 1: stay with his wife? He not staying with his wife. 182 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 1: He can't go back over there. He'll gets stabbed that night. No, 183 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:39,080 Speaker 1: he can't go over there and shut his damn eyes. 184 00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:45,079 Speaker 1: That man can't go back over there. And you know 185 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,920 Speaker 1: why he can't go back over there, it's because he 186 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:51,240 Speaker 1: should I tell him to stay with his wife. That 187 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:53,880 Speaker 1: ain't why he leaving his wife so he can go 188 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,760 Speaker 1: back over there and save some money. He wouldn't to 189 00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:58,760 Speaker 1: let go of all of that because he thought he 190 00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:01,800 Speaker 1: had something. But she wants to get out. She doesn't 191 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:04,600 Speaker 1: want to feel guilty about it now. No, it ain't 192 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:08,880 Speaker 1: no guilty. She does not feel guilty. Stay with your wife. 193 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:13,080 Speaker 1: He can't stay with her because he ain't got it 194 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:19,280 Speaker 1: for him. Well, his current woman doesn't have it for 195 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:25,520 Speaker 1: him anymore because he doesn't have any money anymore. That's 196 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 1: a mess, man. You just don't know what people coming 197 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:32,079 Speaker 1: from with this. You think you know him, but then 198 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:35,040 Speaker 1: you don't. Yeah, they show you that he taught me 199 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:39,520 Speaker 1: right there. One thing I will say about ugly as 200 00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:45,760 Speaker 1: people who can fight. That's what you say? Are your 201 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 1: ass right on up? Boy? He bit my whole cheek 202 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:56,559 Speaker 1: off that I don't seen the other people can scrap. 203 00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:06,360 Speaker 1: Say not Tommy, let's Tommy tell truth, Tommy, Tommy, you 204 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:09,360 Speaker 1: do fight good, though, don't you. I got a few hands, 205 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:13,200 Speaker 1: but that don't make me pretty. People can't fight. It 206 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:15,480 Speaker 1: ain't never been a handsome heavyweight champ. What are you 207 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:20,120 Speaker 1: talking about? Ali was a good looking guy. He has 208 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:26,760 Speaker 1: sugar ratler and Sugar Ray. That's right, Sugar. Two people, 209 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:36,080 Speaker 1: let's go down the list home. Joe fraz No, Joe 210 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:41,240 Speaker 1: know that. Joe know that piu Very. I'm not saying 211 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:53,200 Speaker 1: nothing by Hamas her Ber, No, no, he was bad. 212 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:58,840 Speaker 1: Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter Steve Harvey f 213 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:03,360 Speaker 1: Facebook book. Please check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. 214 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:06,280 Speaker 1: Don't forget coming up at forty six minutes after the hour, 215 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:10,800 Speaker 1: it's Junior with Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening 216 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,880 Speaker 1: to this Dave Harvey Morning Show