Speaker 1: The dull, flat truth of everyday life. It's one more thing.
Speaker 1: I'm struggling, Getty.
Speaker 2: One more thing.
Speaker 3: Is that our mission statement.
Speaker 1: That was one of my favorite quotes from I think
Speaker 1: William Faulkner about why he drank as much as he did.
Speaker 1: He drank himself to death, but he did not like
Speaker 1: the dull, flat truth of everyday life without a couple
Speaker 1: of drinks.
Speaker 3: I get it, Yeah, exactly, you.
Speaker 1: All get it, which is really Shane Gillis's point in
Speaker 1: the fake ad they had on Saturday Night Live. We'll
Speaker 1: play this first and then discuss You.
Speaker 4: Wouldn't know it, but a few months ago, anxiety and
Speaker 4: depression were ruining my life. I was struggling at work.
Speaker 4: I was struggling as a father, Come on, Andrew, you
Speaker 4: can't be beat at school in sports, and struggling as
Speaker 4: a husband.
Speaker 1: That's not because my mom's doctor thinks that we should
Speaker 1: move her into an assistant living mind.
Speaker 4: That's awesome. I was at a real low point. That's
Speaker 4: what I talked to my doctor about. A couple of beers.
Speaker 4: A couple of beers is revolutionary medicine that treats anxiety
Speaker 4: and depression fast and within minutes. Of taking it. I'm
Speaker 4: back to my old self, Andrew.
Speaker 3: I love everybody who's the best in the whole.
Speaker 4: World, and my confidence is through the roof. Jay, you
Speaker 4: look freaking hot, man, even do the way Platt's.
Speaker 3: Excuse me, Oh sorry.
Speaker 4: I'm just having a tough time adjusting to my new medication.
Speaker 4: So the way it works is simple. A couple of
Speaker 4: beers quickly turns a cloudy, rainy day into a sunny one.
Speaker 4: It's that easy. Now I'm the me I want to be.
Speaker 4: A couple of beers is a clinically proven treatment for
Speaker 4: conditions like boredom, depression, winter museum hangovers, affair, and moderate
Speaker 4: to severe Italian wife.
Speaker 3: And if you missed, the most.
Speaker 4: Common side effect of a couple of beers is drowsiness,
Speaker 4: so you may want to ask your doctor about a
Speaker 4: little bump. The way a little bump works is simple.
Speaker 4: Once the drowsiness of a couple of beers sets in,
Speaker 4: you simply take a little bump and let the medication
Speaker 4: do his thing.
Speaker 1: Particularly like a couple of beers will help with you know, mourning, springtime, museum.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah wow, I like museum. Yeah yeah. Your confidence
Speaker 2: will be back. Wow. Jenny you're looking freaking hot.
Speaker 1: Well, and he goes from his wife sitting there on
Speaker 1: the couch telling them stories about her mom, and he
Speaker 1: just couldn't stand listening to her till he was actually,
Speaker 1: you know, able to pay attention and be kind of
Speaker 1: pleasant after a couple of beers.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: There's just there's just too much reality that for many people,
Speaker 1: I think for that well, that's why it's funny.
Speaker 2: Yeah, especially I mean, what would happen if the introverts
Speaker 2: of the world were all denied any social lubricant. I mean,
Speaker 2: I know how it's affected your.
Speaker 3: Well, I know, you know, I know for me and
Speaker 3: Dada two kids.
Speaker 2: So you're too busy to do a lot of Like socialists.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't do it anyway, So I know what it's
Speaker 1: done for me. For one thing, because I don't drink.
Speaker 1: I haven't had a drink in eighteen and a half years.
Speaker 1: I would put myself in social situations I didn't want
Speaker 1: to be in and drink to handle them. I just
Speaker 1: don't do them anymore. I hated them, I didn't want
Speaker 1: to be at them. So now I just don't, which
Speaker 1: has helped a lot. I don't know why I did
Speaker 1: so often in the first place, it's not something I
Speaker 1: want to do a lot of those things. Yes, Katie, No,
Speaker 1: I'm listening to you.
Speaker 5: I'm also thinking about all of the situations where I
Speaker 5: absolutely take a shot at tequila before I attend.
Speaker 2: So, yeah, it's funny. This is a great help to
Speaker 2: me years and years ago. And if i'd none you
Speaker 2: were going to be talking about this, I would have
Speaker 2: grabbed a quote Thomas Jefferson wrote once describing how his
Speaker 2: natural inclination is toward being a loner. He was an introvert,
Speaker 2: and he would much prefer to be by himself, eating
Speaker 2: or writing, or you know, working, or maybe with one
Speaker 2: close friend. And but he realized if he indulged that
Speaker 2: part of his personality, he started to become weird and angry. Hmmm,
Speaker 2: because and and the reason that hit me is because
Speaker 2: that's me exactly. I am more than happy to do
Speaker 2: solitary stuff for days weeks at a time. But then
Speaker 2: I realized I get all hermity and weird and lose
Speaker 2: connection with people I care about.
Speaker 3: And maybe so I just need a slave girlfriend a cheeriup.
Speaker 2: All right, that was a cheap shot, and beneath you
Speaker 2: wait a minute, nothing man anyway, uh and and and
Speaker 2: so as a person so inclined, Jefferson was known to
Speaker 2: sip a bit of the maderra my Spanish wine or
Speaker 2: something like that. In fact, he ran up so much
Speaker 2: debt importing stuff like that from Europe he couldn't pay
Speaker 2: his debt. But yeah, so, and I have activities and
Speaker 2: group and stuff that I'm a part of, but I
Speaker 2: don't want to say I dread them because I enjoy them,
Speaker 2: but it's not comfortable to do them. But you get there,
Speaker 2: you have a quick drinking poo and all of a
Speaker 2: sudden it's like, hey, this is fine, grass fun. These
Speaker 2: are nice fellas.
Speaker 1: You think Jefferson got like halfway through the Declaration of
Speaker 1: Independence that I.
Speaker 3: Just don't feel like finishing this.
Speaker 2: God, if Madison hitsed me with we don't need a
Speaker 2: pillar race one more time, I'm gonna box his ears.
Speaker 2: And he had a couple of beers and everything was fine, Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 2: exactly perfect. Although the end of that commercial, there was
Speaker 2: a couple of aspects of that commercial which were bracingly
Speaker 2: honest about the downside and side effects of using that
Speaker 2: as a crutch in life.
Speaker 1: Certainly, or yeah, if you go too far. That's the
Speaker 1: problem with the whole couple of beers thing for some
Speaker 1: of us is, uh, it's.
Speaker 3: Hard to not do it always or take it way
Speaker 3: beyond a couple right and working totally.
Speaker 2: I don't seem to be progressive guy, which is lucky
Speaker 2: for me as a alcohol enthusiast my entire life. But
Speaker 2: I think about the evening and I will give up
Speaker 2: drinking for spans of time just to make sure I
Speaker 2: can and that I still know how to wind down
Speaker 2: for bed without you know, getting my drink on. But
Speaker 2: if it's not one of those nights, if it's gonna
Speaker 2: be one of those nights where I have my Scotch
Speaker 2: or maybe even a glass of wine with dinner or whatever,
Speaker 2: I really look forward to it. And you know, it
Speaker 2: may not show. I actually work a lot at this job,
Speaker 2: probably too much. It makes me insane, and I really
Speaker 2: look forward to that, and it makes me happy thinking
Speaker 2: about it.
Speaker 3: But I'd love to.
Speaker 2: I wish they could, like, you know, take a swab
Speaker 2: out of your cheek or something and say, oh, you've
Speaker 2: done twenty one percent damage to your health and are
Speaker 2: going to die X number of years prematurely cause you
Speaker 2: won't put down the bottle.
Speaker 3: Why do you want to know that? Bliss and that
Speaker 3: I don't want to know.
Speaker 2: No, I'm the world's greatest fan of realism. I want
Speaker 2: to know exactly what I'm putting in my body.
Speaker 3: And what do you think that? Do you think you
Speaker 3: think you would change behavior based on that?
Speaker 4: I might?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Really?
Speaker 2: I mean, for instance, if they said, yeah, you feel
Speaker 2: great today, but you're gonna have a devastating stroke in
Speaker 2: March in April, well yeah, all right, just as a
Speaker 2: for instance, what what if it was in two years,
Speaker 2: I'd want to know that if it's probably more realistically
Speaker 2: that you know, maybe you lose I don't know, instead
Speaker 2: of dying at eighty nine, you die at eighty seven.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm going to change your behavior for that.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't, right, yeah, especially if those last two years
Speaker 2: are the really difficult, painful for everybody barely hanging out.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, have people because you ain't got
Speaker 1: a couple of beers, all right, right, I would love
Speaker 1: That'd be fantastic. Maybe someday with AI, they'll able to
Speaker 1: figure all that out where everything will have that on
Speaker 1: the label. You know, you eat this candy bar, you
Speaker 1: just shaved. I don't know, forty five seconds off your
Speaker 1: life or something.
Speaker 3: I don't like this world we're creating right.
Speaker 1: Now, I'm eating it. It'll be like the calorie thing.
Speaker 1: You know, you go, you get a muffin. It works
Speaker 1: on me, the calorie thing.
Speaker 3: Definitely.
Speaker 1: I go to Starbucks and I think, I like, I'll
Speaker 1: get a muffin in it four hundred and fifty calories.
Speaker 3: And it ain't worth that.
Speaker 2: Those muffins designed for what to feed an elementary school.
Speaker 3: They're so enormous and dense.
Speaker 1: But if it said it'll cut five minutes off your life,
Speaker 1: it'd be pretty easy to say five minutes.
Speaker 3: What do I care?
Speaker 2: All sorts of different philosophies too. I mean, the body
Speaker 2: is a temple. You know, God has built it. You
Speaker 2: should honor it. That's one philosophy I respect. But a
Speaker 2: lot of my greatest think favorite thinkers, from hl Menkin
Speaker 2: to Thomas Jefferson to all sorts of different people were
Speaker 2: one hundred percent on the Yeah, I could live a
Speaker 2: life of complete discipline and so.
Speaker 3: Right, But what the hell is the point of that? Yeah,
Speaker 3: let's enjoy ourselves. It's a short ride.
Speaker 5: Goodness, save everything in moderation.
Speaker 3: Exactly, exactly, if you can do that with that.
Speaker 5: For now, I keep thinking if I knew how many
Speaker 5: toes I could lose by eating sweets, like if it
Speaker 5: was only two, but I could eat for twenty years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you're afraid of you're gonna lose your whole foot, right.
Speaker 5: I don't want to do that, But but a toe
Speaker 5: or two I can still get around.
Speaker 3: Like your ring toe.
Speaker 5: Yeah, something like that.
Speaker 2: Gonna say you gotta judge it on toe by toe.
Speaker 2: Basically every toe is created equal.
Speaker 5: Something to think about.
Speaker 3: Well, I guess that's it.