1
00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:08,360
Speaker 1: This is Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty. Hi, everyone,

2
00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:12,200
Speaker 1: welcome to a new episode of Let's Be Clear with

3
00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:14,760
Speaker 1: Me Shannon Doherty. So, I've talked to you guys a

4
00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:21,160
Speaker 1: lot about my cancer journey, my divorce, life in general,

5
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:29,640
Speaker 1: and I've broached the subject about obviously funeralists and trying

6
00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:33,879
Speaker 1: to make things clean for the people that you leave behind.

7
00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:37,760
Speaker 1: But I had an experienced very very very recently when

8
00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:41,760
Speaker 1: I was in Tennessee where I had decided that I

9
00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:45,520
Speaker 1: was going to get rid of a place there because

10
00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:50,959
Speaker 1: I just felt that even though I have a lot

11
00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:55,000
Speaker 1: of hopes and dreams and I'm a fighter, and I

12
00:00:55,040 --> 00:01:00,800
Speaker 1: believe in science, and I think that something will come

13
00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:03,680
Speaker 1: along that will keep on prolonging my life, like these

14
00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:10,319
Speaker 1: amazing protocols and the meds that I'm on, or chemo

15
00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:16,240
Speaker 1: or cart cell therapy. Just there's more options out there,

16
00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:21,720
Speaker 1: and I know that I still felt that I needed

17
00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:27,760
Speaker 1: to make things clean just in case. And listen, it

18
00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:31,640
Speaker 1: doesn't matter if you have a terminal disease or whatever.

19
00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:35,360
Speaker 1: I believe, yes, obviously you should live life to its

20
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:39,720
Speaker 1: fullest and embrace life while you're alive. But I guess

21
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,760
Speaker 1: it's the cancer for me. That has really made me

22
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:47,480
Speaker 1: take stock of my life and shift my priorities. And

23
00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:53,800
Speaker 1: my priority at the moment is my mom and about

24
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,040
Speaker 1: making things. I know it's going to be hard on

25
00:01:56,120 --> 00:02:01,440
Speaker 1: her if I pass away before her, but so sorry,

26
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:06,920
Speaker 1: this is a hard one for me. But because it's

27
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,480
Speaker 1: going to be so hard on her, I want other

28
00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:13,760
Speaker 1: things to be a lot easier, meaning that I don't

29
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,880
Speaker 1: want her to have a bunch of stuff to deal with.

30
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,800
Speaker 1: I don't want her to have four storage units filled

31
00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:23,480
Speaker 1: with furniture, because yeah, I have a furniture obsession. Some girls,

32
00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:27,840
Speaker 1: you know, obsess over buying purses or shoes or clothes.

33
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:33,120
Speaker 1: I buy furniture. It's my thing. I love furniture and

34
00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:36,960
Speaker 1: I love rugs. So I have storage units filled with stuff.

35
00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:41,600
Speaker 1: And I have a really good friend Julie who's starting

36
00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:45,560
Speaker 1: to like help me go through my storage and get

37
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:49,360
Speaker 1: rid of stuff and donate stuff and sell stuff. But

38
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:55,280
Speaker 1: there's bigger things, like houses that I have to worry about.

39
00:02:55,440 --> 00:03:01,920
Speaker 1: And so we were in Tennessee and I was packing

40
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:09,519
Speaker 1: up one of the places there and it was really hard,

41
00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:15,560
Speaker 1: and it was really emotional because to certain extent I

42
00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:18,200
Speaker 1: felt like I was giving up on this dream. I

43
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:21,200
Speaker 1: was giving up on this stream of you know, building

44
00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,680
Speaker 1: this property out and putting a house for me and

45
00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:27,480
Speaker 1: a house for my mom, and then extending the barn

46
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:33,040
Speaker 1: and rescuing horses and having a sanctuary for you know,

47
00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:37,320
Speaker 1: hopefully enough land eventually that I would keep buying to

48
00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:42,839
Speaker 1: help rescue all these horses that are abandoned by their

49
00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,800
Speaker 1: owners because they're too old, or they get broken down

50
00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:50,800
Speaker 1: because they work them too hard, and or what BLM

51
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:57,080
Speaker 1: is doing with the wild horse roundups in California and

52
00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:03,080
Speaker 1: Arizona and Wyoming and Colorado. Oh, and it's horrifying to me.

53
00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:08,480
Speaker 1: And I see these bands, these families of horses just

54
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:11,160
Speaker 1: being rounded up, and lots of dusts in the roundups

55
00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:16,160
Speaker 1: because of helicopters and everything else. So I thought, you know,

56
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:20,640
Speaker 1: that was one of my dreams of starting to help

57
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:23,480
Speaker 1: rescue and take some relief off of all these other

58
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:26,280
Speaker 1: amazing rescues like Return to Freedom and all seated in

59
00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:34,560
Speaker 1: the barn. And so I was packing up, and I

60
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:39,440
Speaker 1: started crying because again I felt like I was giving

61
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:43,159
Speaker 1: up on a dream. And what did that mean for me?

62
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:50,719
Speaker 1: Didn't mean that I was giving up on life. Didn't

63
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:55,039
Speaker 1: mean that I was like throwing in the towel, and

64
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:57,000
Speaker 1: you know, my mom was there and she was like,

65
00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,640
Speaker 1: don't you know, don't get rid of this place like

66
00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:02,760
Speaker 1: it's and you don't have to and you can keep going,

67
00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:08,719
Speaker 1: and so yeah, absolutely I can. The funny thing is

68
00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:11,120
Speaker 1: is that a week and a half later, when I

69
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:15,680
Speaker 1: went back to throw it all in a uh and

70
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:20,039
Speaker 1: have my friend Zach drive it back to California, I

71
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,280
Speaker 1: started noticing all the things wrong with the place and

72
00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,000
Speaker 1: like how much money it would cost me, and how

73
00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:27,680
Speaker 1: it was kind of a stupid idea anyway. So you know,

74
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:32,159
Speaker 1: I think somehow the brain works in mysterious ways where

75
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:38,080
Speaker 1: even though you're incredibly sad about something and it feels

76
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:41,000
Speaker 1: like you're giving up on something that was very special

77
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:45,200
Speaker 1: and important to you, you know that it is the

78
00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:50,240
Speaker 1: right thing to do, and you know that it's it's

79
00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:54,240
Speaker 1: going to give you a sense of peace and a

80
00:05:54,279 --> 00:06:01,279
Speaker 1: sense of calm, and because you are helping the people

81
00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:05,920
Speaker 1: that you leave behind just have a cleaner, easier transition,

82
00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,680
Speaker 1: which brought me into a whole other area about like

83
00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:18,120
Speaker 1: possessions I have. I've accumulated so much crap and it's

84
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:20,720
Speaker 1: sitting in a storage and I'm not enjoying it and

85
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:25,360
Speaker 1: others aren't enjoying it, And do I really need any

86
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:30,000
Speaker 1: of it? Do I need? Do I need to have,

87
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,360
Speaker 1: you know, three dining room tables? I know it's so

88
00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:38,240
Speaker 1: sad in storage just because they were you know, antiques

89
00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:42,600
Speaker 1: that I found. It's an amazing price at you know,

90
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:50,239
Speaker 1: some antique mart or or flea market. And the answer

91
00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:53,480
Speaker 1: is no, Like, none of us really need all the

92
00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,240
Speaker 1: stuff that we have, and we can all, you know,

93
00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:59,240
Speaker 1: do with a little bit of downsizing and not be

94
00:06:59,279 --> 00:07:02,000
Speaker 1: a hoarder, which I was becoming with all of my furniture.

95
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:07,159
Speaker 1: And you can still I gut still live my dream

96
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:13,640
Speaker 1: of helping horses buy and dogs and cows and sheeps

97
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,280
Speaker 1: and pigs and goats. I guess to live that dream

98
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:24,560
Speaker 1: by really participating with rescues that are far more capable

99
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:29,720
Speaker 1: than me of doing it. But it was Listen, it

100
00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:34,880
Speaker 1: was hard. And I talked to you guys at some

101
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:40,480
Speaker 1: point or at least touched on a will and what

102
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:43,840
Speaker 1: you leave behind and how you do it and trying

103
00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:46,800
Speaker 1: to make it as easy as possible, to keep on

104
00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:48,920
Speaker 1: saying that word easy. And again, I know it's never

105
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,760
Speaker 1: going to be easy. For the people in my life.

106
00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:56,960
Speaker 1: But maybe it's more about ease for myself. Maybe it's

107
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:01,720
Speaker 1: and I'm talking this out with you guys because I

108
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:04,360
Speaker 1: have so many thoughts and so many emotions about it,

109
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:07,960
Speaker 1: and I have found this podcast to be really cathartic,

110
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,200
Speaker 1: So I guess I'm using it as a therapy session.

111
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,800
Speaker 1: So thank you for digging in with me and listening.

112
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,680
Speaker 1: And again, I'd love to hear your comments and everything else,

113
00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:21,680
Speaker 1: So feel free after you listen to this to let

114
00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:26,280
Speaker 1: me know your thoughts on it. But I think it's

115
00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:30,240
Speaker 1: easy for myself. It's again that peace of mind. It's

116
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:35,160
Speaker 1: the looking at what you've accumulated over a lifetime. I'm

117
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:38,920
Speaker 1: fifty two years old. I think I'm fifty two and

118
00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,319
Speaker 1: I've accumulated a lot of stuff, and some of it

119
00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:46,440
Speaker 1: is gorgeous and valuable, and it's time to start selling

120
00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:51,520
Speaker 1: that stuff off. It allows me to take more trips

121
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,720
Speaker 1: because I'm making money. I'm selling it, so then I

122
00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:56,720
Speaker 1: get to build different memories, and I get to build

123
00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,719
Speaker 1: memories with the people that I love. I get to

124
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:01,880
Speaker 1: take my mom on vacations because I have all this

125
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,960
Speaker 1: extra sort of play money laying around and I'm not

126
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:08,200
Speaker 1: digging into the money that's in my state that's going

127
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,000
Speaker 1: to make sure that everybody in my life is taken

128
00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:14,280
Speaker 1: care of once I'm dead. So, yeah, do I need

129
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:17,960
Speaker 1: an armchair that I can sell for money? Do I

130
00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:24,960
Speaker 1: need any of this stuff that doesn't bring that much enjoyment.

131
00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:27,840
Speaker 1: After a while, you walk into your house or you

132
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:31,920
Speaker 1: walk into your storage unit, and it's just stuff. Especially

133
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,840
Speaker 1: when it's been years and years and years since you've

134
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:36,679
Speaker 1: looked at it, You're like, Yeah, I don't need this.

135
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:39,800
Speaker 1: It doesn't really bring me any great joy. What does

136
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:44,920
Speaker 1: bring me a lot of joy is, you know, taking

137
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:47,560
Speaker 1: my mom to the places that she's always wanted to

138
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:53,720
Speaker 1: go to and building those memories with her. I took her.

139
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:55,880
Speaker 1: She had always wanted to go to Italy, So years

140
00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:59,560
Speaker 1: ago I did this amazing trip to Italy with my

141
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:05,720
Speaker 1: mother and took her to you know, Positano and Rome

142
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:10,000
Speaker 1: and Tuscany and Florence, and we wanted to go to Venice,

143
00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:14,079
Speaker 1: but it was kind of flooded at the moment. And

144
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,040
Speaker 1: that's something that she still talks about all the time.

145
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:21,200
Speaker 1: She talks about that experience and what it was like

146
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,840
Speaker 1: to be with me, And I just remember getting out

147
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,600
Speaker 1: of the car with my mom as we were driving

148
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:29,800
Speaker 1: to Positano, and she looked out from the cliff over

149
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,520
Speaker 1: and she started crying. She had tears pouring down her

150
00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:37,520
Speaker 1: face because she never really thought that she would see that,

151
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:39,760
Speaker 1: and she certainly didn't think that she was going to

152
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:42,480
Speaker 1: be able to see it with me. And those are

153
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:46,680
Speaker 1: the memories, and that those are the things that matter

154
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:51,560
Speaker 1: the most, not your possessions, not what you have. It's

155
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:56,400
Speaker 1: all about building memories. And I have, you know, a handful,

156
00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,959
Speaker 1: maybe more than a handful, but not more than two

157
00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:03,080
Speaker 1: handsful of really really really good friends, friends that like

158
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,280
Speaker 1: I cherish and I love, And I was with two

159
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:09,520
Speaker 1: of them, actually four of them last night and we

160
00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:13,880
Speaker 1: were talking about, you know, another trip that we're planning

161
00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:20,160
Speaker 1: and to keep building those memories. And I took my

162
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:23,480
Speaker 1: mom with my best friend Chris and my best friend

163
00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:27,960
Speaker 1: Julie and her husband Honors and Hona, Ray and Kirby

164
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:32,680
Speaker 1: and we all went to Croatia on we rented a

165
00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:34,959
Speaker 1: boat and we went to Croatia and we traveled all

166
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:38,600
Speaker 1: throughout Croatia. Again, my mom still talks about that trip,

167
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:45,079
Speaker 1: we all do, and so as I was so sad

168
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:53,840
Speaker 1: about giving something up. I'm also now reminded of the

169
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:58,959
Speaker 1: freedom giving that up has given me to then provide

170
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:03,560
Speaker 1: memories not only for myself, not only treasured moments for myself,

171
00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:08,600
Speaker 1: but for the people that I love. And you know,

172
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:12,440
Speaker 1: I'll touch on this in a different episode. I'll get

173
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:16,319
Speaker 1: into it a lot more in another episode. But in life,

174
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,000
Speaker 1: you know, well, we all go we want to find

175
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,439
Speaker 1: our person. We just want to find our person. And

176
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,840
Speaker 1: I've had a couple of moments where I thought I'd

177
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:27,760
Speaker 1: found my person as far as a partner goes, and

178
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:33,640
Speaker 1: recently I lost my person. And as hard as that was,

179
00:12:34,559 --> 00:12:40,480
Speaker 1: it gave me a couple of realizations. So one is, yeah,

180
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:44,599
Speaker 1: it's really hard to lose your person, and it's really traumatic,

181
00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:50,560
Speaker 1: and particularly when you're facing cancer or any disease, any

182
00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:55,080
Speaker 1: life altering event, you are so used to going to

183
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:57,280
Speaker 1: your person and being able to have a conversation and

184
00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,720
Speaker 1: being able to say, you know, that's it's your person.

185
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:06,320
Speaker 1: So all of your fears you get to share with them,

186
00:13:06,559 --> 00:13:09,719
Speaker 1: and because they're your person, they're comforting, they know how

187
00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:12,800
Speaker 1: to help you through it, or you cry together, you

188
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:18,480
Speaker 1: laugh through it together. And I had to feel sorry

189
00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:23,600
Speaker 1: for me a moment, you know, self pity moment where

190
00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:26,720
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, like I don't sure it would

191
00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:29,080
Speaker 1: be nice to have my person, Like I don't have

192
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:32,840
Speaker 1: a person anymore. And then I kind of like slapped

193
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:35,960
Speaker 1: myself in the face and said, what are you talking about, Shannon?

194
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:42,720
Speaker 1: You lost one person, But because you lost that one person,

195
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:47,720
Speaker 1: you put your trust and love and faith in so

196
00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:54,320
Speaker 1: many others that I gained like six persons. I know

197
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:58,560
Speaker 1: that's incorrect grammar, because now instead of only turning to

198
00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:06,400
Speaker 1: one person, I turned to a lot of others. And

199
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:10,280
Speaker 1: what ends up happening is I get a completely different

200
00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:17,120
Speaker 1: love and support and caring and advice from each one

201
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:21,560
Speaker 1: of them. And I love. Yes, it's a different kind

202
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:25,440
Speaker 1: of a love, but my love for these people in

203
00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:30,200
Speaker 1: my life is so deep and so rich, and I

204
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:32,520
Speaker 1: know how much they love my mother, and I know

205
00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:35,240
Speaker 1: how much they're going to take care of her when

206
00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:52,040
Speaker 1: I'm gone, and how important that is to me. It

207
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:56,560
Speaker 1: also really bonded my brother and I together a lot more.

208
00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,960
Speaker 1: I mean, I've always loved my brother and his family,

209
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:03,240
Speaker 1: but I just felt like I could open up to

210
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:07,240
Speaker 1: him more and not protect him from what I was

211
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:09,200
Speaker 1: going through because I tend to do that. I tend

212
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:12,400
Speaker 1: to protect the people around me, and I try not

213
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:16,840
Speaker 1: to share so much stuff so that they're not perpetually

214
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:23,520
Speaker 1: in fear mode with me. And I've stopped doing that recently.

215
00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:29,080
Speaker 1: I now call my brother and say, hey, I'm having

216
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:35,760
Speaker 1: a really bad day. And I woke up really scared

217
00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:43,680
Speaker 1: and really contemplating not being here anymore because I don't

218
00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:48,320
Speaker 1: want to die. I'm I'm so not the person who

219
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,600
Speaker 1: wants to die. I mean, nobody wants to die. But

220
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:55,000
Speaker 1: I have so many like hopes, and I have so

221
00:15:55,200 --> 00:16:01,600
Speaker 1: much left to accomplish, and I can't imagine not being

222
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:08,400
Speaker 1: able to do that. And you know, my brother, My

223
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:14,760
Speaker 1: brother has a very very very strong belief system and

224
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:19,000
Speaker 1: he he you know, they go to church all the

225
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:23,600
Speaker 1: time and they pray all the time, and he's just,

226
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:30,200
Speaker 1: you know, a great human being. And I, you know,

227
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:34,840
Speaker 1: thoroughly believe in God and I I definitely have faith

228
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:38,680
Speaker 1: and I believe, you know, that we're walking the path

229
00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:44,400
Speaker 1: that we're supposed to. But he, I think his faith

230
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:48,520
Speaker 1: gave me what I needed at that moment when I

231
00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:54,120
Speaker 1: called him in a weak state, His faith renewed sort

232
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:57,480
Speaker 1: of my faith and made me stronger in my faith,

233
00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:01,480
Speaker 1: which was really a great thing. And maybe that wasn't

234
00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:03,920
Speaker 1: something I would have gotten from my person before, whatever

235
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:07,680
Speaker 1: person that was. And you know, then I can call

236
00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:10,640
Speaker 1: Chris and we'll cry together on the phone and we'll

237
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:14,320
Speaker 1: laugh together about it. Or I'll call Julie and you know,

238
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:16,920
Speaker 1: she'll be like, let's go here, let's go there, let's

239
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,160
Speaker 1: do it, like everything that you want to do, let's

240
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,640
Speaker 1: do it, like do your bucket list, like, let's do it.

241
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:26,760
Speaker 1: So I guess my point is is that if you're

242
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:30,240
Speaker 1: going through something difficult, and if you have a disease

243
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:35,520
Speaker 1: like I do, and everybody tells you, the internet tells

244
00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:38,520
Speaker 1: you when you look it up, that there's a timeline

245
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:44,000
Speaker 1: on you, and you don't have a person, like it's

246
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:48,200
Speaker 1: okay to not have a person in the romantic sense.

247
00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:59,000
Speaker 1: Just your friends are your person. And I'm so glad

248
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:05,280
Speaker 1: that the last week and a half two weeks has

249
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:09,639
Speaker 1: brought a lot of different emotions to the surface, from

250
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:16,520
Speaker 1: giving up a home to what that led me to

251
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:22,520
Speaker 1: emotionally and coming to the realization that the material things

252
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:25,119
Speaker 1: don't matter, that it's the time that I spend with people,

253
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:29,479
Speaker 1: it's the memories that I build with them. It's you know,

254
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:32,639
Speaker 1: the road trip from Kentucky to Tennessee with you know,

255
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:36,720
Speaker 1: Holly and Drew. It's showing my mom leapers Fork in

256
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:41,720
Speaker 1: Tennessee for the first time and realizing that she connected

257
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:45,960
Speaker 1: with it as much as I connected with it, going

258
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:51,600
Speaker 1: on those trips with friends, planning things, downsizing, selling things off,

259
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,399
Speaker 1: and putting it in a you know, I now have

260
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:58,800
Speaker 1: what I call it bucket fund, and that bucket fund

261
00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:03,320
Speaker 1: goes along with a list that I made that it

262
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:05,040
Speaker 1: is all about the things that I want to do

263
00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:09,000
Speaker 1: with certain people, all the places I want to take

264
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,280
Speaker 1: my mom, all the things that I still have yet

265
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:15,440
Speaker 1: to see and do, and the impact that I still

266
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:18,159
Speaker 1: want to make. So now I'm looking at it in

267
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:23,720
Speaker 1: a very positive sense and saying, I'm cleaning stuff up

268
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,880
Speaker 1: so that I can have a better quality of life.

269
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,560
Speaker 1: It's not even yes, ease for everybody else, but it's

270
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,680
Speaker 1: my quality of life is going to be so much

271
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,800
Speaker 1: better because I get to just take a lot of

272
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:41,119
Speaker 1: adventures and live out a good majority of my dreams

273
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:48,040
Speaker 1: that way. Obviously, this comes with you know, ups and downs.

274
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:52,920
Speaker 1: There's going to be times when I feel great about

275
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:55,560
Speaker 1: the decisions that I'm now making and there's going to

276
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,600
Speaker 1: be times and I'm really really sad about it, But

277
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,800
Speaker 1: those are the moments that I think that you have

278
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:04,320
Speaker 1: to draw a lot of strength from your friends and

279
00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:07,240
Speaker 1: your family, and a lot of strength from God and

280
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:14,680
Speaker 1: just try to dig deep and try to be positive

281
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:18,200
Speaker 1: and try to believe that you know, there's a lot

282
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:24,480
Speaker 1: more life in you. You know, I had talked about

283
00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:29,800
Speaker 1: a protocol that I said the word it's. My statement

284
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:33,680
Speaker 1: on the podcast was that, you know, I'm a I'm

285
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:36,240
Speaker 1: on a protocol that's it's like a miracle to me

286
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:40,720
Speaker 1: because it's it's it's working. It's not a miracle protocol.

287
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:43,520
Speaker 1: It's just a protocol like that's you know, they're just

288
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,679
Speaker 1: if they last a really long time like some of

289
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,840
Speaker 1: mine have. That's a miracle to me because I watched

290
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:56,640
Speaker 1: one of my best friends blow through protocols so quickly,

291
00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:00,840
Speaker 1: and you know, she didn't she didn't cancer for long

292
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:03,920
Speaker 1: before she died because she just kept on blowing through protocols.

293
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:09,000
Speaker 1: Her body wasn't responding to them, versus mine that has

294
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:16,080
Speaker 1: responded really well to protocols. And I recently switched protocols again,

295
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:20,719
Speaker 1: and I guess part of this whole emotional thing was

296
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:28,399
Speaker 1: that I switched protocols and I have had like a

297
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:32,080
Speaker 1: lot of back pain and hit pain and knee pain.

298
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:37,760
Speaker 1: And to me, traditionally in the past, that has meant

299
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:42,520
Speaker 1: that the protocol isn't working. And I think, because in

300
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:45,320
Speaker 1: my head, I said, oh my god, the protocol is

301
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:50,600
Speaker 1: not working. I need to I need to, you know,

302
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:55,320
Speaker 1: settle things off. I need to make sure my will

303
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:58,639
Speaker 1: is and I've now double checked it five times and

304
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:03,440
Speaker 1: I keep on making changes to it and just making

305
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:07,159
Speaker 1: sure that it's ironclad and that everybody is taken care of.

306
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:26,040
Speaker 1: So when these pains started coming back, I was like, Okay,

307
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:29,360
Speaker 1: that's I. Yes, I'm getting rid of the place in Tennessee,

308
00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:31,399
Speaker 1: as much as it hurts me to get rid of it. Yes,

309
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,639
Speaker 1: I'm I'm going to start selling off my furniture and

310
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:38,639
Speaker 1: my storage unit. But you're doing it with a little

311
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,480
Speaker 1: with a lot of fear behind it. By the way,

312
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:47,200
Speaker 1: I'm fine. It's actually the protocol causes this a little

313
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,639
Speaker 1: bit because it does something with your bone marrow. So

314
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:54,679
Speaker 1: once I spoke to my doctor and came clean about

315
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:57,640
Speaker 1: sort of the pain that I was in, which wasn't

316
00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 1: long by the way. It's not like I, you know,

317
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:03,119
Speaker 1: went months without speaking to him about it. I speak

318
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:06,280
Speaker 1: to my doctor basically every single day. But sure it

319
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:08,800
Speaker 1: took away the fear that I was blowing through yet

320
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 1: another protocol. But it was through that that made me

321
00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:16,679
Speaker 1: make all of the decisions recently that I've made, Like

322
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:22,320
Speaker 1: even with the Tennessee place, I'm like, thank God, thank God,

323
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:25,840
Speaker 1: because I dodged a bullet of just spending a fortune

324
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:31,760
Speaker 1: of trying to make some place great for what for me,

325
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 1: Like my hospital, my doctor's everything is right here in

326
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:41,199
Speaker 1: Los Angeles. And and sure I love horses, and I

327
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,680
Speaker 1: love to ride horses, and I love to save horses.

328
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:49,119
Speaker 1: But I have a rescue an hour and a half

329
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:51,879
Speaker 1: away from me that's run by my friend Netta that

330
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 1: it's called Return to Freedom, and I'm allowed there anytime

331
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:02,160
Speaker 1: I want, and I can walk the thousands and thousands

332
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 1: of acres and take photos of these wild horses and

333
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:11,760
Speaker 1: pet them and feed them the burrows. So I already

334
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:14,199
Speaker 1: have that, I already. I don't know what I was

335
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 1: thinking at the time, So when I originally looked at

336
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 1: the property, it wasn't just for me, it was for uh.

337
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:28,199
Speaker 1: I thought it was I thought it was for you know,

338
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 1: my relationship, and so it was a little different of

339
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:35,960
Speaker 1: a decision that I made, but also mainly to live

340
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 1: out some sort of dream that I had. And I

341
00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 1: know that I'm rambling, and I'm so sorry and thank

342
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:45,000
Speaker 1: you for like putting up with the with the ramble,

343
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:48,239
Speaker 1: it's again, I'm sort of talking through all of this

344
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:53,879
Speaker 1: with you guys, And I think what I would really

345
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 1: love is we did a Q and A episode. It

346
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:02,560
Speaker 1: would be cool to do an episode that is in

347
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:07,719
Speaker 1: response to this, where maybe you share your stories with

348
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:12,919
Speaker 1: me of how you're handling what you're going through in life.

349
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:16,360
Speaker 1: And again, you don't have to have a disease. It's

350
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 1: any sort of hardship, right because life is hard, and

351
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:27,919
Speaker 1: losing a job is hard, losing a parent, losing a

352
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:34,760
Speaker 1: loved one, losing a friend is hard. Being diagnosed with anything,

353
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:40,080
Speaker 1: even if it's not life threatening is hard, losing friendships,

354
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:46,000
Speaker 1: all of it, like life just can be incredibly hard.

355
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,840
Speaker 1: So what I would find interesting is to hear how

356
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:52,280
Speaker 1: all of you deal with it. How do you deal

357
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:56,399
Speaker 1: with the hardships? And is it your faith? Is that

358
00:25:56,520 --> 00:26:01,879
Speaker 1: your friends? Is it your husband, is that your wife

359
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:05,280
Speaker 1: is that your kids like, what is it that gets

360
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:11,760
Speaker 1: you through it? And what are your concerns? Because we all,

361
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:17,240
Speaker 1: I think most of us at least worry about the

362
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:21,399
Speaker 1: future in some way, shape or form. Worry about the

363
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 1: future as far as do I have enough money to survive?

364
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:26,320
Speaker 1: Do I have enough money for my mortgage? Do I

365
00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:30,600
Speaker 1: have enough money for my rent? My parents, that's sick,

366
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 1: you know, how long do I have with them? We

367
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:40,000
Speaker 1: all go through life. It's worrying about something, and even

368
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 1: if it's something as silly as how do others perceive us,

369
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:45,560
Speaker 1: which in the grand scheme of things, by the way,

370
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 1: is an incredibly silly thing to worry about, because in

371
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,359
Speaker 1: my opinion, as long as you can look yourself in

372
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:55,880
Speaker 1: the mirror, that's all that matters. It doesn't matter what

373
00:26:56,680 --> 00:27:00,159
Speaker 1: some keyboard warrior says about you, it doesn't matter what

374
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 1: you know an ex friend is gossiping about you. All

375
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 1: that matters is that you're happy with who you are.

376
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,560
Speaker 1: And I'm assuming that to be happy with who you

377
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:17,720
Speaker 1: are that means that you're living a good life and

378
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:23,600
Speaker 1: living by a karmic sort of law of you know,

379
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:28,639
Speaker 1: do unto others. And as long as you're doing that,

380
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:31,720
Speaker 1: it doesn't really matter what anybody else has to say

381
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:36,720
Speaker 1: about you own your own truth. I am nothing but

382
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:43,160
Speaker 1: raw and honest at this point in my life because

383
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 1: what do I have to lose. I have nothing to lose.

384
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:52,439
Speaker 1: I do have a ticking time clock over me, So

385
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:58,240
Speaker 1: I'm not interested in lies. I'm not interested in anything

386
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:05,040
Speaker 1: but spreading my truth, being truthful to myself, being truthful

387
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:09,440
Speaker 1: to the people around me, being truthful to the fans,

388
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:14,840
Speaker 1: and just living like the most authentic life that I

389
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:19,359
Speaker 1: possibly can while I'm still here. So what do you

390
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 1: guys worry about? What are your concerns? And let's use

391
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:34,960
Speaker 1: the Let's Be Clear pod instagram to and my instagram

392
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 1: to really talk about that so that we can do

393
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:43,960
Speaker 1: an episode where we address all of it. I think

394
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:46,880
Speaker 1: that that would be a really important episode. And as

395
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:50,480
Speaker 1: far as this episode in my life, I know it

396
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 1: seems incredibly heavy you guys, and it's felt heavy for

397
00:28:55,720 --> 00:29:00,880
Speaker 1: the last two weeks for me too. But I'm turning

398
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:07,120
Speaker 1: a corner, and that corner is one of excitement, one

399
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 1: of planning, one of saying again, Wow, I get to

400
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:17,520
Speaker 1: go do this and this and this now and have

401
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 1: all of these experiences and all of these memories, and

402
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:24,960
Speaker 1: I remember I was watching, Uh, I was watching Afterlife.

403
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:29,640
Speaker 1: Ricky Starvas is one of my absolute favorites. I love him.

404
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:32,680
Speaker 1: Bucket list is to meet Ricky shar Face and go

405
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:35,560
Speaker 1: to one of his comedy shows because he's just phenomenal.

406
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 1: And his wife in the show died of cancer and

407
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:51,240
Speaker 1: she leaves him a video sort of goodbye. That's an

408
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 1: incredibly long one and he sort of watches it every

409
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:58,960
Speaker 1: single day and it's really her telling him, you know,

410
00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 1: don't forget to fe the dog, or don't forget to

411
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:06,960
Speaker 1: you know, embrace life. Still it was. It's such a

412
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 1: beautiful show. If you haven't seen it, you should really

413
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 1: watch it because it applies to sort of everybody. And

414
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:16,720
Speaker 1: maybe I'm not going to do the video thing. I

415
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:21,680
Speaker 1: might have contemplated it, contemplated writing letters. But what I

416
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 1: am going to do now is I am going to

417
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 1: focus on making solid memories with the people that I love,

418
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 1: with the people that have supported me, cherish me, been

419
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:40,560
Speaker 1: loyal to me, that have just always always always been there.

420
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:46,160
Speaker 1: And whether that's something as silly as going to dinner

421
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:52,080
Speaker 1: with Christy at Christy's or you know, forcing Chris to

422
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:56,239
Speaker 1: go to still City with me for a convention and

423
00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:58,400
Speaker 1: all of us hanging out and having a good time.

424
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 1: Whatever it is, that's what I'm going to now do

425
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:05,920
Speaker 1: with my life. And maybe that's the video that I

426
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 1: leave behind is a video that people can play over

427
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:13,040
Speaker 1: and over and over and over again in their heads

428
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:20,400
Speaker 1: of just really poignant, special impactful moments. What are you

429
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:23,720
Speaker 1: guys going to do? And have you already done? It?

430
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 1: Has a loved one left you behind a video? I

431
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:30,280
Speaker 1: don't know. Bucket Lists are so interesting me. I bought

432
00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:35,560
Speaker 1: this book called bucket List, and it gives you ideas

433
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:40,280
Speaker 1: for if you were to make a bucket list, all

434
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:42,800
Speaker 1: these different ideas that are on it, and I sort

435
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 1: of went through it a little bit, and I think

436
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 1: it's interesting because what it does is that it gets

437
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 1: the creative juices flowing in your head where where you

438
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 1: think of ideas that you wouldn't necessarily have thought of before.

439
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 1: Or maybe it's not just a trip to Italy. Maybe

440
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 1: it's maybe it's going and staying at a house there

441
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 1: and getting one of the beautiful, wonderful nonahs to teach

442
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 1: you how to make the perfect pizza do or the

443
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 1: perfect bread. There's a chef chef Evan Funky, and I

444
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:24,960
Speaker 1: watched him go and learn from a Nona. By the way,

445
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,560
Speaker 1: his pizza is pretty much like the best pizza dough

446
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:29,600
Speaker 1: I've ever had in my entire life. He has a

447
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:34,320
Speaker 1: bunch of restaurants, and I was like, yeah, I want to.

448
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:36,480
Speaker 1: I want to learn how to make the perfect pizza

449
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:41,720
Speaker 1: do or perfect sour dough bread. And I want to,

450
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:44,000
Speaker 1: you know, see killer whales in the wild the way

451
00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:48,760
Speaker 1: that you're supposed to, not not in an aquarium. So

452
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 1: this book is really interesting because it does give you ideas,

453
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:55,000
Speaker 1: and even if you have a loved one who is

454
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 1: facing what I'm facing or something similar, it's kind of

455
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:01,760
Speaker 1: a cool book for you to get and maybe not

456
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 1: necessarily give it to them, but it'll give you ideas

457
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:12,400
Speaker 1: and suggestions of suggestions for them and then try to

458
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:15,840
Speaker 1: fulfill those. Obviously, the most important thing is time. Time

459
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:20,360
Speaker 1: spent with the person doesn't matter if you can afford

460
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:27,120
Speaker 1: to go somewhere, not go somewhere. Time spent is the

461
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 1: most precious thing possible. All Right, I've rambled enough. I

462
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 1: don't want anybody to be worried. I am looking at

463
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:44,240
Speaker 1: it from a very positive standpoint, and I really appreciate

464
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:47,440
Speaker 1: you guys being here with me and your words of

465
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:50,520
Speaker 1: encouragement when you post on my Instagram means a lot.

466
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:57,400
Speaker 1: And I'm sure that this is going to continue. I'm

467
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:01,840
Speaker 1: going to face a lot of different emotions throughout this

468
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 1: journey with cancer and sharing them with all of you,

469
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:09,000
Speaker 1: because every day brings up something new. There's not a

470
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:12,440
Speaker 1: day I don't wake up thinking a totally different new

471
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:15,799
Speaker 1: thought that I hadn't thought of before. And we're just

472
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:18,959
Speaker 1: gonna go through it together and talk about it some more.

473
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:22,319
Speaker 1: So thank you again for listening and thank you for

474
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:26,680
Speaker 1: being patient with me today as this was kind of

475
00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:32,560
Speaker 1: a hard one to talk through, but it's helped and

476
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 1: it's going to help a lot more because probably as

477
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:39,440
Speaker 1: soon as I walk off, I'd be like, oh what

478
00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 1: about this? And oh what about that? So thanks thank

479
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:48,080
Speaker 1: you for listening to Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty

480
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:52,359
Speaker 1: once again, and don't forget to leave your comments on

481
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:58,120
Speaker 1: the Let's Be Clear pod or the Shando Instagram so

482
00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:01,799
Speaker 1: that we can dig deep for her into this and

483
00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:06,160
Speaker 1: let's just help one another get through it all, all right.

484
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:07,239
Speaker 1: I love you guys. Thank you