WEBVTT - Pretty and Petty 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.480 Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife. 0:00:03.680 --> 0:00:06.560 She cooked, she cleaned, cared for her children and the 0:00:06.600 --> 0:00:08.360 man of the house, and of course. 0:00:08.200 --> 0:00:09.639 She didn't talk back. 0:00:09.760 --> 0:00:12.200 She was both obedient and soft by nature. 0:00:12.320 --> 0:00:15.600 She was a good woman who always made good choices. 0:00:16.600 --> 0:00:18.720 That shit, we're Good Mom's Bad Choices. 0:00:18.760 --> 0:00:21.480 Two single mom who said, but the patriarchy shared all 0:00:21.480 --> 0:00:22.599 their bad choices. 0:00:22.280 --> 0:00:23.560 And found out they were so bad. 0:00:23.600 --> 0:00:26.520 After all, we're expert over chairs and your new vestie. 0:00:26.680 --> 0:00:29.319 Sit back and do the ride. I can do a 0:00:29.400 --> 0:00:30.240 pad on. 0:00:34.000 --> 0:00:35.720 I could do all on my. 0:00:39.840 --> 0:00:40.400 Powers. 0:00:40.960 --> 0:00:43.479 Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and 0:00:43.520 --> 0:00:44.440 I'm Nayla. 0:00:44.479 --> 0:00:48.560 And we're in the Jungle house. This is the Good 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:50.080 Mom's Jungle Edition. 0:00:50.800 --> 0:00:52.519 It's been a long time since we did a Good 0:00:52.560 --> 0:00:54.320 Mom's Jungle audition. It's been a long time since we 0:00:54.360 --> 0:00:55.120 did our own production. 0:00:55.160 --> 0:00:57.480 And let me tell you it took about one hour. 0:00:58.000 --> 0:01:00.000 And if you saw what was happening to hold these 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:04.520 cameras at akaur iPhones and another random camera, you would 0:01:04.560 --> 0:01:06.680 think we would would know, we would be better. 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:08.840 We think, we think we'd have better equipment right now, 0:01:08.880 --> 0:01:11.880 but so have one sorchy box night stand a lamp 0:01:13.319 --> 0:01:14.840 and to ring lights we borrowed. 0:01:15.800 --> 0:01:18.039 But you know what, this is a first in regards 0:01:18.120 --> 0:01:19.840 to recording during a retreat. 0:01:20.200 --> 0:01:22.720 This is and during I don't think we've ever recorded 0:01:22.720 --> 0:01:23.240 at Sonora. 0:01:24.040 --> 0:01:24.720 No, we haven't. 0:01:25.040 --> 0:01:28.160 Yeah, so all the girls are maybe sleeping or about 0:01:28.200 --> 0:01:30.480 to gather to the yoga Shella. 0:01:30.319 --> 0:01:33.000 For am yoga that we probably won't make because we're 0:01:33.000 --> 0:01:33.440 here with you. 0:01:33.720 --> 0:01:37.720 It's stay two of our second retreat of our trip, 0:01:38.000 --> 0:01:41.320 our twenty second trip, our twenty second retreat overall. Yeah, 0:01:42.000 --> 0:01:42.960 how are you feeling about that? 0:01:43.840 --> 0:01:45.080 Twenty two is my luking number? 0:01:45.240 --> 0:01:48.720 It is, yes, Oh yeah, I feel good. 0:01:49.040 --> 0:01:52.520 I feel like I'm in the jungle. I'm happy to 0:01:52.520 --> 0:01:56.400 be here. I feel moisturized and sun kissed. 0:01:57.120 --> 0:01:58.480 So my mom's here. 0:02:00.200 --> 0:02:04.000 It's the first, so I feel good. And the Mammy 0:02:04.000 --> 0:02:05.040 and May retreat was really good. 0:02:05.360 --> 0:02:08.080 Yeah, we just finished our first mommy and Me retreat 0:02:08.080 --> 0:02:11.280 out here, and we took over this whole property. There 0:02:11.320 --> 0:02:16.520 were fourteen little kids running around and like before the 0:02:16.560 --> 0:02:19.520 retreat started, Mela and I were like, we're so busy 0:02:19.560 --> 0:02:22.760 planning it that I don't think we like really recognize 0:02:22.880 --> 0:02:27.800 just all the different types of energies age ranges, parenting 0:02:27.880 --> 0:02:31.760 styles and potential safety hazards. 0:02:31.440 --> 0:02:36.040 And chaos that was gonna ensue. At first, I was like, 0:02:36.040 --> 0:02:38.040 what the fuck have we done? 0:02:38.600 --> 0:02:45.040 But everything was I it's a, it's a. It was beautiful. 0:02:45.320 --> 0:02:45.720 I think it. 0:02:46.160 --> 0:02:50.359 I feel like the Mommy and Me retreat inevitably there's 0:02:50.400 --> 0:02:52.840 always a lesson in everything, and obviously we learned stuff 0:02:52.840 --> 0:02:56.440 and like it was really putting me into like not childhood, 0:02:56.520 --> 0:03:01.080 like childhood healing, but it really like was a mirror 0:03:01.160 --> 0:03:04.760 like I just when it got started, I was like, oh, yeah, 0:03:04.880 --> 0:03:09.359 children are completely unregulated emotionally and other like they don't 0:03:09.360 --> 0:03:13.079 give a fuck what's going on, so that's not challenging. 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:17.880 But I guess like the adult retreats were like constantly 0:03:17.919 --> 0:03:21.480 asking women to take off their masks and take off 0:03:21.560 --> 0:03:23.720 their armor, and. 0:03:25.400 --> 0:03:26.880 Kids, we don't have to ask them at all. 0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:29.720 They're going to come in blazing, full guns out like 0:03:29.760 --> 0:03:33.160 this is me bitches, And they did and it was 0:03:33.680 --> 0:03:35.800 it was beautiful. But then I had like, you know, 0:03:35.880 --> 0:03:39.480 I'm thinking about having another baby, and I was like, do. 0:03:39.480 --> 0:03:40.800 I want to have multiple children? 0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:43.160 Because fourteen of these motherfuckers right now is a lot. 0:03:42.960 --> 0:03:46.320 I don't want fourteen. You're not having fourteen. 0:03:46.040 --> 0:03:48.080 Kids, I know, but I was like, do I have 0:03:48.120 --> 0:03:51.000 the skill set for one more? And that was like 0:03:51.600 --> 0:03:54.960 kind of scary midway through the treats, like I don't know, 0:03:56.400 --> 0:03:57.839 But after I feel good. 0:03:58.080 --> 0:04:00.760 I feel like it was a good Yeah, we had 0:04:00.760 --> 0:04:02.800 some really, I just feel like it was like the 0:04:02.840 --> 0:04:05.640 best intro to this type of retreat that we could 0:04:05.680 --> 0:04:09.080 have had. Like I'm so thankful to God and the 0:04:09.160 --> 0:04:11.760 universe for always like giving us exactly what we need 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:15.080 in every chapter of our journey, because it could have 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:18.240 been a lot of like Type A, high strung and 0:04:18.360 --> 0:04:20.640 say moms, but it wasn't. It was a bunch of 0:04:21.040 --> 0:04:25.479 Type bees, pretty chill, mostly Type E, a little mix 0:04:25.480 --> 0:04:27.200 of Type A because you know, you need those two 0:04:28.600 --> 0:04:31.520 moms that came and it was really beautiful, and our 0:04:31.600 --> 0:04:35.440 daughters finally got to have homemies on retreat and they 0:04:35.560 --> 0:04:38.080 like finally got to have like their own little girl tribe. 0:04:38.120 --> 0:04:40.920 So that was really cool for me to see our 0:04:40.960 --> 0:04:45.560 girls like thrive in the space and just also see 0:04:45.600 --> 0:04:48.800 that the little girls be so independent because we're on 0:04:48.839 --> 0:04:51.919 this property alone. They literally just like took over. It 0:04:51.960 --> 0:04:55.000 was like their own little village, their own city, and 0:04:55.040 --> 0:04:57.720 so like they're running around at night without their parents. 0:04:57.800 --> 0:05:00.040 It's kind of like back in the day when and 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:03.080 maybe within a small town and your parents would like 0:05:03.080 --> 0:05:05.640 from the neighborhood, neighborhood, right, Like that's what it was. 0:05:05.800 --> 0:05:07.440 And I think a lot of kids these days don't 0:05:07.440 --> 0:05:09.520 really get the luxury of that, especially if you live 0:05:09.520 --> 0:05:11.719 in the city, especially if you have type A moms. 0:05:11.960 --> 0:05:13.280 Especially it was the United States. 0:05:13.320 --> 0:05:16.120 Yeah, just like there's a lot of fear and I 0:05:16.240 --> 0:05:18.760 just I'm just so happy that those kids got that. 0:05:18.839 --> 0:05:20.920 I'm so happy and proud of the moms for allowing 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:26.599 their children to do that. And I'm just I'm happy 0:05:26.600 --> 0:05:28.719 for our girls. I'm happy for arian Luna that they 0:05:29.080 --> 0:05:31.040 that they got that experience and that they've been wanting 0:05:31.040 --> 0:05:33.920 that shit, and I'm just happy. I'm proud of us 0:05:33.920 --> 0:05:35.200 for making that happen for them. 0:05:35.880 --> 0:05:38.560 Yeah, and I'm just proud of the moms for agreeing 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:42.719 to bring their kids internationally on a plane, a shuttle, 0:05:43.560 --> 0:05:45.760 you know, and like just do something different. And I 0:05:45.800 --> 0:05:47.800 know for a lot of moms, some moms came with 0:05:47.880 --> 0:05:48.680 multiple children. 0:05:49.000 --> 0:05:49.440 It's a lot. 0:05:49.480 --> 0:05:53.080 It's lots of travel with small children, and it's definitely 0:05:53.080 --> 0:05:55.320 a lot to travel with small children to a small 0:05:55.360 --> 0:05:58.320 town with some bitches you don't know. So I thought 0:05:58.360 --> 0:06:01.200 that was brave and I'm looking you know, I'm looking 0:06:01.240 --> 0:06:04.800 forward to doing that again and also seeing the little 0:06:04.839 --> 0:06:07.880 girls like become empowered. And we were really I don't 0:06:07.880 --> 0:06:09.240 know if we did too much of this, but like 0:06:09.480 --> 0:06:12.200 giving them a voice, giving them an opinion, because a 0:06:12.200 --> 0:06:14.400 lot of times they don't have that privilege of doing 0:06:14.440 --> 0:06:17.440 that wherever they come from, because we're always like sit down, 0:06:17.480 --> 0:06:19.760 shut up, you know, like there's so many things to 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:22.360 go on. So seeing them feel like that a voice 0:06:22.400 --> 0:06:26.800 and seeing moms apologize to children and like just kind 0:06:26.800 --> 0:06:30.360 of like empower them to have independence. I think that's 0:06:30.400 --> 0:06:32.760 important and we forget that, especially as little girls. There's 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:35.800 so much fear around everything. Don't jump off of that, 0:06:35.839 --> 0:06:38.320 don't hurt yourself. And I was just telling some of 0:06:38.360 --> 0:06:40.920 the moms like be careful, saying be careful all the time. 0:06:41.520 --> 0:06:44.360 Yeah, I think women say be careful to little well, 0:06:44.440 --> 0:06:47.320 women and men say be careful to little girls specifically 0:06:47.880 --> 0:06:51.200 so much, and then that carries on into adulthood in 0:06:51.279 --> 0:06:53.120 so many detrimental ways. 0:06:53.279 --> 0:06:56.239 It's just an internal fear that is unnecessary to trust 0:06:56.279 --> 0:06:59.200 yourself I feel like when you have kids, it's important 0:06:59.200 --> 0:07:03.960 to instill just the awareness of like, is this safe 0:07:03.960 --> 0:07:07.400 for myself? Let me try it out. Like I think women, naturally, 0:07:07.440 --> 0:07:12.080 little girls have the innate ability to uh risk what 0:07:12.200 --> 0:07:15.440 is it called risk factor, like to weigh the risks. 0:07:15.600 --> 0:07:18.400 Weigh the risks, because that's what we do in general. 0:07:18.480 --> 0:07:18.880 But like. 0:07:20.800 --> 0:07:24.239 When you're constantly telling someone to be careful, be careful, 0:07:24.280 --> 0:07:25.800 be careful, but then it kind of sills a fear 0:07:25.840 --> 0:07:28.520 about everything. You know, everything's scary, and like everything is 0:07:28.560 --> 0:07:30.600 not scary, and at some point they have to leave 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:33.000 the house and do their own thing, and they have 0:07:33.040 --> 0:07:34.960 to be able to have the skill set and the 0:07:35.000 --> 0:07:38.440 confidence to weigh if this is riskier, don't even get 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:40.640 the fuck up out of here, which is really basic intuition. 0:07:40.800 --> 0:07:43.920 So if you keep instilling like too much fear, it 0:07:44.000 --> 0:07:47.040 kind of like removes the natural intuition that we have. 0:07:47.160 --> 0:07:48.320 I feel like overrides that. 0:07:48.760 --> 0:07:52.640 And I it's interesting that I did a mommy me 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:55.640 a retreat with my daughter and then a week later 0:07:55.720 --> 0:07:57.800 my mom comes, So I'm like there's a lot of 0:07:57.800 --> 0:08:00.320 mommy and me energy here. 0:08:01.000 --> 0:08:02.920 Like, God, if you can't give me a sign, just 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:03.400 let me know. 0:08:03.800 --> 0:08:06.440 Yeah, well, if I can give you any advice, as 0:08:06.640 --> 0:08:09.280 someone who already did a retreat with their mother last year, 0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:14.440 you can actually actually this retreat, you did this your mom. Yeah, wow, 0:08:14.520 --> 0:08:15.000 it's crazy. 0:08:15.000 --> 0:08:16.480 It give me some nice please. 0:08:18.160 --> 0:08:20.560 It is just allowing her to be a girl and 0:08:20.600 --> 0:08:23.880 allowing her to show up with the wounds that you 0:08:23.920 --> 0:08:27.440 already know and that you've already heard her express and 0:08:28.600 --> 0:08:33.679 because and obviously a gentle correction, because you're the leader, 0:08:33.800 --> 0:08:36.440 but like, I think it's important for us to not 0:08:37.360 --> 0:08:44.920 insert our previously our previous understandings of our mother or 0:08:44.920 --> 0:08:47.800 maybe the wounds that we have with our mother, and 0:08:48.400 --> 0:08:50.199 because I think sometimes it'll shut them down. And the 0:08:50.240 --> 0:08:52.240 whole point is to give them grace and allow them 0:08:52.240 --> 0:08:55.320 to kind of be sovereign women here and obviously like 0:08:55.600 --> 0:08:57.640 you're here also to maybe do some work with her 0:08:57.679 --> 0:08:59.599 as well. And I think your mom is in a 0:08:59.679 --> 0:09:02.240 place where she's ready to receive from you, or she's 0:09:02.280 --> 0:09:04.800 been ready to she's already been receiving from you, but 0:09:05.080 --> 0:09:08.240 just allowing her to like express in ways that maybe 0:09:08.400 --> 0:09:10.800 already heard her and you just like don't want to 0:09:10.800 --> 0:09:12.959 hear it, but just let her know. 0:09:13.280 --> 0:09:15.520 Yeah, I'm realizing I have it, I'm like, okay, you're 0:09:15.559 --> 0:09:20.000 my mom, but also your PC a bit. And I 0:09:20.040 --> 0:09:22.760 think it's also we have a lot of girl women 0:09:23.559 --> 0:09:25.600 I kind of feel like in the same boat. 0:09:25.320 --> 0:09:27.840 Ish, So I think that's going to be interesting. 0:09:27.920 --> 0:09:29.280 I think there's a lot of healing that's going to 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:32.079 happen in this group and a lot of messages and 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:34.360 lessons they have for each other. So I'm looking forward 0:09:34.400 --> 0:09:37.520 to seeing that and also just seeing my mom get 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:41.960 initiated into the Good Vibe Spiritual Sorority. And I think 0:09:42.080 --> 0:09:45.320 I know honestly that it is going to be healing 0:09:45.360 --> 0:09:48.280 for our relationship and healing for the little girl and 0:09:48.360 --> 0:09:51.760 me to be able to I guess mother her in 0:09:51.800 --> 0:09:56.080 ways and just to see her as like a girl 0:09:56.120 --> 0:09:57.440 and not just my mom. 0:09:58.120 --> 0:09:59.800 So yeah, I'm looking forward to that. 0:10:00.320 --> 0:10:04.800 It's interesting because you know, we're witchy women, so everything 0:10:04.840 --> 0:10:07.600 means something, which honestly, every time I come and retreat 0:10:07.600 --> 0:10:10.240 it reinforces it at times one hundredfold. So at this 0:10:10.280 --> 0:10:12.800 point we're like twenty two million fold into and nothing 0:10:12.880 --> 0:10:15.880 is just for no reason. But on the way here 0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:21.360 to Costa Rica, we had four forty seven hundred bags 0:10:21.400 --> 0:10:26.000 per the usual and we need more. And I was 0:10:26.120 --> 0:10:28.400 early to the airport and I you know, if you go, 0:10:28.440 --> 0:10:30.800 if you know lax, you can hit that TJ Max 0:10:30.920 --> 0:10:34.600 or Marshalls Ross sequence before you go into the airport. 0:10:34.640 --> 0:10:35.760 And I was like, let me go pick up an 0:10:35.840 --> 0:10:39.960 extra suitcase because we're probably going to be overweight and 0:10:39.960 --> 0:10:41.720 have to pay. And we had like a little bit 0:10:41.760 --> 0:10:43.840 of time, and my mom had taken me to the airport, 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:46.199 which my mom never takes me to the airport. It's 0:10:46.280 --> 0:10:50.240 usually Orlando or Uber. Anyway, she was available because of 0:10:50.240 --> 0:10:54.800 the summertime. And I ran into Marshalls and I had 0:10:54.880 --> 0:10:56.600 put on my jackets. I was about to go into 0:10:56.600 --> 0:11:02.199 the airport, and I'd also smoked to blunt face because 0:11:02.200 --> 0:11:05.240 I was going to the airport and it was hot. 0:11:05.280 --> 0:11:06.920 And I went and Marshalls, I went and. 0:11:06.840 --> 0:11:08.559 Got it back. I got in line. I got in line. 0:11:08.600 --> 0:11:10.240 It was fucking long. I was like, oh my god, 0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:12.360 this long ass line. And while I was in line, 0:11:12.440 --> 0:11:15.640 I was like, I feel lightheaded. And I went to 0:11:15.720 --> 0:11:19.840 text my mom, like I feel lightheaded, so maybe send 0:11:19.880 --> 0:11:21.959 Luna in to take my spot in line. And I 0:11:22.320 --> 0:11:24.199 started typing it and then I erace it, so I 0:11:24.240 --> 0:11:26.000 was almost at the top and then I like, just 0:11:26.120 --> 0:11:28.240 let her know your feel light headed. So I let 0:11:28.280 --> 0:11:30.440 her know. I was like squatting down in line. I 0:11:30.440 --> 0:11:32.560 was like drinking water. I took out to the refrigerator 0:11:32.600 --> 0:11:34.720 in line, and I got to the cashier and I 0:11:34.760 --> 0:11:37.960 was like, yeah, it's hot in here. I'm feeling light headed, 0:11:38.320 --> 0:11:40.520 and he moved like a little fan in front of me, 0:11:41.200 --> 0:11:43.160 and bitch, that was the last thing I remember. I 0:11:43.280 --> 0:11:46.640 was literally woke up on the floor. My mom poured 0:11:46.679 --> 0:11:49.320 water on my face and there's like three cashiers around me. 0:11:49.440 --> 0:11:52.440 I fainted and I was like, I gotta go to 0:11:52.480 --> 0:11:53.120 the airport. 0:11:53.240 --> 0:11:54.360 I can't faint right now. 0:11:54.720 --> 0:11:56.720 And I asked my mom like did I pass out? 0:11:56.800 --> 0:11:59.439 She's like, looks fucking so scared. 0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:03.160 Like I look up, Bluna's looking at me, and I'm like, 0:12:03.280 --> 0:12:05.120 oh my god, I just fucking fainted. 0:12:05.200 --> 0:12:05.840 In the marshalls. 0:12:06.280 --> 0:12:09.720 They're putting alcohol pats underneath my nose to waken me up, 0:12:09.760 --> 0:12:12.160 and I'm like trying to get the money out my 0:12:12.240 --> 0:12:12.920 first to pay. 0:12:13.040 --> 0:12:13.280 It's like. 0:12:16.640 --> 0:12:18.520 And they're like, do you want me to call it ambulance? 0:12:18.520 --> 0:12:20.439 And I'm like I have to catch a flight now, 0:12:21.000 --> 0:12:23.840 and my mom is scared shitless. So I get in 0:12:23.840 --> 0:12:26.679 the car and text Airica're like, it just fainted. 0:12:26.800 --> 0:12:32.480 I'm like, what, I fainted in martials? It was kind 0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:34.920 of scary. I was scary. I was scared for you. 0:12:35.080 --> 0:12:37.360 And you know, some people fainting you don't remember. But 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:40.440 I remember going somewhere very comfortable. I was so comfortable, 0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:42.520 like I was taking a nap. But I kept hearing 0:12:42.520 --> 0:12:45.720 my mom's voice to call my named Jamilla, Jamila, Jamilla, Jamilla. 0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:48.560 And at some point I told myself that sure, Mom, 0:12:48.920 --> 0:12:49.520 that's your name. 0:12:49.600 --> 0:12:49.920 Answer. 0:12:50.440 --> 0:12:52.160 And finally I was like huh and then I like 0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:53.959 came back. But I haven't passed out. I mean, I 0:12:54.080 --> 0:12:57.360 think I've fainted since I was like inhaling helium balloons 0:12:57.400 --> 0:12:57.960 when I was eight. 0:12:58.800 --> 0:13:02.800 No helium, bitch, nas, I never did you never did. 0:13:02.880 --> 0:13:04.000 NOA was in high school. 0:13:05.280 --> 0:13:06.439 No, I didn't compete. 0:13:07.080 --> 0:13:10.040 I did computer cleaner. Wow, great source. 0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:15.240 That was an eighth grade. It's a dark time anyway, 0:13:15.840 --> 0:13:18.360 when she, my mom caught me, like literally, she must 0:13:18.360 --> 0:13:21.800 have came in marshals as I was collapsing to the ground, 0:13:21.800 --> 0:13:23.400 like She's like, you would have hit the fuck out 0:13:23.400 --> 0:13:23.760 of the floor. 0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:24.400 I didn't catch you. 0:13:24.800 --> 0:13:26.920 And she's like, hell, do you like that since you 0:13:27.000 --> 0:13:30.599 were a baby, And I was like, right, I was 0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:35.160 just like I was a little bit scattered, but I 0:13:35.160 --> 0:13:37.840 mean I was fine. I was just a combination of heat, hunger, 0:13:37.880 --> 0:13:40.800 and highness. But I also feel like it was like 0:13:40.880 --> 0:13:44.679 a sign into what's happening. 0:13:44.760 --> 0:13:45.640 Yeah, a I was. 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:48.520 I was overwhelmed and I was stressed, and I sometimes 0:13:48.559 --> 0:13:51.920 do too much and without even acknowledging my own my 0:13:52.000 --> 0:13:55.520 own things, and so I'm like, Okay, this is a sign, like, bitch, 0:13:55.559 --> 0:13:57.400 you can keep going if you want to, but you 0:13:57.480 --> 0:14:00.920 might fucking faint in marshals and be like, your mom's 0:14:00.920 --> 0:14:01.720 gonna be there to catch you. 0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:03.360 And I think she was really happy to be there 0:14:03.400 --> 0:14:04.120 to catch me. 0:14:05.000 --> 0:14:07.520 And I think if it maybe wasn't my mom's voice, 0:14:07.520 --> 0:14:09.240 like has she not been in there to call my name, 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:12.760 I don't know how long I would have been gone, 0:14:12.800 --> 0:14:16.360 because I was comfortable, real comfy, And so it was 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:19.160 just an interesting series of events as I walked into 0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:23.360 the portal of Puerto into the sacred space of retreating 0:14:23.720 --> 0:14:26.280 in the sequence of mommy and me and now she's 0:14:26.320 --> 0:14:28.920 here for the first time, and you know, like I've 0:14:28.960 --> 0:14:32.480 just been sitting and observing what that means, you know, 0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:34.720 for us to care for each other again, even though 0:14:34.760 --> 0:14:37.480 I'm like hyper independent in ways and like I was 0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:40.200 taken care of myself for a very long time. So 0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:43.280 and then I also see Luna being super hyper independent 0:14:43.280 --> 0:14:46.120 in ways. So I don't know, It's been an interesting 0:14:46.200 --> 0:14:48.560 series of events and I'm looking forward to seeing how 0:14:49.080 --> 0:14:51.760 this weekend folds. And also like, bitch, I need to 0:14:51.800 --> 0:14:53.120 take care of myself and I need to sell the 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:56.320 fuck down, and if I'm feeling stressed or overwhelmed, you know, 0:14:56.520 --> 0:14:57.240 like that's okay. 0:14:57.280 --> 0:14:58.720 And also didn't ask for help. 0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:00.000 That was a big thing. 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:01.880 He was like, I almost did not text this woman, 0:15:01.920 --> 0:15:03.960 and I would have been spirled out in Marshalls for 0:15:04.040 --> 0:15:05.360 thirty minutes, so she would have been in the car 0:15:05.400 --> 0:15:07.480 like with the washing ambulance pull up, not knowing it's 0:15:07.480 --> 0:15:10.000 free literally and then be like let me go on there. 0:15:10.600 --> 0:15:15.400 So all that to say, ask for help and check 0:15:15.440 --> 0:15:18.880 in with yourself, and if you're not feeling well, tell someone, 0:15:19.040 --> 0:15:20.640 because you could feign in Marshals too. 0:15:24.200 --> 0:15:27.160 They're gonna saint anywhere at least sure around home goods, 0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:31.360 home goods and furniture artists and pastas moms, plenty of 0:15:31.360 --> 0:15:35.840 moms in line that artist in pasta tomato sauce, the 0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:37.520 most random marshals. 0:15:37.520 --> 0:15:39.400 If you don't, you don't get a sponsorship. 0:15:39.440 --> 0:15:45.120 After this pasta sauce and pasta suitcases so much, I 0:15:45.200 --> 0:15:47.600 told them not to call the ambulance. I said, I'm fine, 0:15:47.640 --> 0:15:51.560 I'm good. I was like, I was like, no, I was. 0:15:51.680 --> 0:15:53.960 I wasn't even embarrassed. I was just like, that's crazy. 0:15:54.680 --> 0:15:56.240 I know. You got to the airport and I was like, 0:15:56.280 --> 0:15:58.840 are you okay, I'm fine? Your mom is worried, and 0:15:58.840 --> 0:16:00.640 You're like, I'm like, your mom, I'm just saw you 0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:02.320 pass out. She's going to be. 0:16:02.480 --> 0:16:03.760 She like wouldn't leave the air Force. 0:16:03.960 --> 0:16:04.600 She's going to be. 0:16:04.520 --> 0:16:06.480 Because she like parked in front of the air like 0:16:06.640 --> 0:16:08.560 in the place you're not supposed to leave her car 0:16:08.600 --> 0:16:09.160 and just walked. 0:16:09.320 --> 0:16:09.880 I saw her coming. 0:16:10.400 --> 0:16:11.520 I saw her coming like ten times. 0:16:11.840 --> 0:16:13.160 I was probably. 0:16:14.320 --> 0:16:16.160 But yeah, I mean yeah. 0:16:16.200 --> 0:16:19.440 And then you know, I talked to Sylvia and you know. 0:16:19.440 --> 0:16:23.880 She is our friend and then astrologer here in Costa. 0:16:23.680 --> 0:16:27.000 Rica or would she mentor one of the first witches 0:16:27.040 --> 0:16:29.520 we met of Costa Rica who aids us in a 0:16:29.520 --> 0:16:31.840 lot of the work we do personally and aids us 0:16:32.040 --> 0:16:34.600 you know, she's a practitioner and our retreat. But I 0:16:34.640 --> 0:16:37.720 was talking to her about it, because again, nothing everything 0:16:37.800 --> 0:16:39.840 means something. So if I pass out in Marsha's, I 0:16:39.840 --> 0:16:43.560 can tell Sylvia and she's like, oh, you know, I know, 0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:47.400 it's probably that's how you wanted to leave. Your body 0:16:47.520 --> 0:16:52.600 is like your body needed to leave. And I was like, oh, ship, 0:16:52.720 --> 0:16:54.440 she might have didn't need to check out for a minute, 0:16:54.480 --> 0:16:55.520 she said, but you're doing too much. 0:16:55.560 --> 0:16:56.280 I'm taking a nap. 0:16:57.160 --> 0:17:02.040 So it was interesting. How have you about the mommy 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:03.920 and me? And this week? 0:17:04.040 --> 0:17:08.520 And I feel like retrograde is fucking the nuts? Is 0:17:08.560 --> 0:17:12.480 it over? It's finally over? And it really was spicy 0:17:12.840 --> 0:17:17.679 and just kind of like really rattled things inside of me, 0:17:19.400 --> 0:17:24.200 but not like things back home and then also things here. 0:17:24.400 --> 0:17:27.080 I think the mommy and me. I think every retreat 0:17:27.560 --> 0:17:33.840 is an initiation, especially like the firsts. And that's what 0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:36.919 I've noticed with every retreat, like with Bali, for me, 0:17:37.480 --> 0:17:43.000 with Jamaica, with Mexico Mexico, like each one like gives 0:17:43.040 --> 0:17:50.440 me something pretty like straightforward that I can't ignore and 0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:53.520 I probably should know that by now. So this one 0:17:53.560 --> 0:17:55.679 going in I was like, it's gonna just be a 0:17:55.680 --> 0:17:57.440 walk in the park. You know. Obviously I knew it 0:17:57.440 --> 0:17:59.439 was gonna be challenging, but like I wasn't prepared for 0:17:59.520 --> 0:18:06.520 what might come up for me as a mom and yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:18:06.600 --> 0:18:08.320 And that's what I mean, like for me as a 0:18:08.320 --> 0:18:11.560 woman in the women's circles that we have when we start, 0:18:12.240 --> 0:18:14.640 when we would create something and then we like watch 0:18:14.640 --> 0:18:18.879 it blossom like these retreats. Definitely, we always tell the 0:18:18.920 --> 0:18:20.840 woman when they come, like, didn't you're on retreat, but 0:18:20.920 --> 0:18:23.440 so are we And I fucking mean that shit, that 0:18:23.520 --> 0:18:26.000 shit is real. And so the momy and me retreat 0:18:26.040 --> 0:18:29.159 definitely like exposed some things that I think I've been 0:18:29.200 --> 0:18:34.359 avoiding in a motherhood and that I'm I'm happy that 0:18:34.400 --> 0:18:37.159 they were exposed because now I know that, Okay, I 0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:38.800 have to deal with these things or there will be 0:18:38.880 --> 0:18:41.960 like reverberations later that I probably will have less control over. 0:18:42.560 --> 0:18:48.280 So that was really great for me. But I am 0:18:48.320 --> 0:18:51.240 glad that retrograde is the fuck over, because. 0:18:52.480 --> 0:18:53.360 A bitch. 0:18:55.520 --> 0:19:00.960 Was feeling a bit. 0:19:01.440 --> 0:19:05.480 A bit there's a lot of feelings feeling, you know. 0:19:06.000 --> 0:19:08.840 I realized, like I started my period the first day 0:19:08.960 --> 0:19:12.080 of the Mommy and Me Retreat a podcast we have. 0:19:12.400 --> 0:19:16.679 I started my period, everybody, guess what, And now you're 0:19:16.720 --> 0:19:19.199 starting yours the first day or week of this retreat 0:19:19.280 --> 0:19:25.040