WEBVTT - The Fifth Hour: Puddles Instead of Paradise 0:00:00.640 --> 0:00:01.359 Kabooms. 0:00:02.200 --> 0:00:05.280 If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes 0:00:05.320 --> 0:00:09.120 a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants 0:00:09.119 --> 0:00:12.400 of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He 0:00:12.480 --> 0:00:15.400 treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the 0:00:15.520 --> 0:00:19.520 rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to Clearinghouse of 0:00:19.560 --> 0:00:23.400 hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour 0:00:23.520 --> 0:00:30.640 with Ben Mallard starts right now. 0:00:28.880 --> 0:00:32.200 In the air everywhere. 0:00:32.520 --> 0:00:36.479 The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mather and Danny G 0:00:36.760 --> 0:00:40.680 Radio a hap be Happy, Be Happy. 0:00:41.400 --> 0:00:42.120 Saturday to you. 0:00:42.240 --> 0:00:46.600 We are hanging out a college football Saturday. Thanksgiving upcoming 0:00:47.280 --> 0:00:50.640 and we got you covered. Danny G is producing this podcast. 0:00:51.040 --> 0:00:54.800 He will be with us for the mail Bag on Sunday, 0:00:54.800 --> 0:00:57.959 but you got just me today on this podcast. We 0:00:58.040 --> 0:01:05.480 have through the fog, zip codes and Pineapple Express, and 0:01:05.640 --> 0:01:08.000 we'll put all of those things together and we are 0:01:08.000 --> 0:01:11.760 going to make the Gabba Ghoul and the Baba Gnoose. 0:01:11.800 --> 0:01:12.640 We're gonna make all that. 0:01:13.040 --> 0:01:16.240 But we open up with this so the theater is 0:01:16.400 --> 0:01:21.319 open fun for all ages. Now, you have to understand 0:01:21.360 --> 0:01:28.440 something about the weeknight radio show Overnight Radio. It's not 0:01:28.840 --> 0:01:32.559 so much as a job. It's a form of time travel, 0:01:32.600 --> 0:01:35.880 which is really really kind of cool, really really kind 0:01:35.880 --> 0:01:40.600 of cool. So we sit alone in a little Sherman 0:01:40.680 --> 0:01:44.759 Oaks studio. It's two thirty in the morning, and there 0:01:44.800 --> 0:01:47.960 are no windows in the studio in now we have 0:01:48.040 --> 0:01:48.840 no windows. 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:51.480 The lights hume along. 0:01:52.480 --> 0:01:55.480 There's a security guard in the building in the courtyard, 0:01:55.800 --> 0:02:00.960 somewhere in a galaxy far far away, acting like stephen 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:04.680 A Smith watching an NBA Finals game, playing solitaire. 0:02:05.000 --> 0:02:08.040 That's if you're lucky, by the way, Okay, if you're lucky. 0:02:08.520 --> 0:02:12.280 The security guard is acting like stephen A and an 0:02:12.360 --> 0:02:16.880 NBA Finals game and he's playing solitaire. If you're not lucky, 0:02:17.320 --> 0:02:21.440 he's conducting his own sleep study while working. He's doing 0:02:21.440 --> 0:02:25.680 a sleep study while working. Now, the newsroom at the 0:02:25.760 --> 0:02:28.880 company is a ghost town. It's a ghost ship, okay, 0:02:29.000 --> 0:02:34.640 formally buzzing with life for years and years, but every 0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:37.080 year they keep laying people off and they don't replace them, 0:02:37.560 --> 0:02:42.000 and so it's made it kind of depressing. Right, Maybe 0:02:42.040 --> 0:02:46.560 there's a leftover container of some orange chicken and some 0:02:47.080 --> 0:02:50.600 memory of a clip of a stay Awake with Jake 0:02:50.800 --> 0:02:54.400 back in the day, Jake the Great Jake Warner and 0:02:54.560 --> 0:02:56.200 out of the silence. 0:02:57.160 --> 0:02:58.160 In our studio. 0:02:59.120 --> 0:03:02.400 You start barking into these microphones and your voice gets 0:03:03.000 --> 0:03:07.160 shot out of satellites and into transmitters and out into 0:03:07.200 --> 0:03:10.480 the abyss, the great beyond, and you don't know where 0:03:10.520 --> 0:03:13.680 it lands. You don't know who catches it. And that's 0:03:13.720 --> 0:03:18.400 the magic of overnight radio. You're speaking to everyone who's 0:03:18.600 --> 0:03:22.600 among the living, and yet no one at the same time, 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:29.639 and that transmitter booming the voice. It might ricochet off 0:03:29.680 --> 0:03:34.080 a commercial truck in Barstow and then bounce into a 0:03:34.240 --> 0:03:39.920 casino surveillance room somewhere outside a Wheeling, West Virginia, at 0:03:40.320 --> 0:03:42.080 a little casino there. I don't even know if they 0:03:42.080 --> 0:03:43.960 have a casino in Wheeling, West Virginia. I just brought 0:03:44.000 --> 0:03:46.360 up Wheeling, West Virginia. We used to have a caller 0:03:46.400 --> 0:03:50.200 from Wheeling, West Virginia who was very annoying, and I 0:03:50.200 --> 0:03:54.160 don't know if he's around anymore. Radio Rich or maybe 0:03:54.160 --> 0:03:57.520 that signal sneaks under a bedroom door and Dayton, Ohio 0:03:57.920 --> 0:04:00.520 at the exact moment someone woke up at three in 0:04:00.560 --> 0:04:03.320 the morning, they make a pit stop, and that's how 0:04:03.360 --> 0:04:08.880 it happens. Radio is discovered the way trains used to 0:04:09.160 --> 0:04:13.240 back in the day be seen through fok. Right, it's 0:04:13.240 --> 0:04:15.000 the same thing. You know, radio has discovered the way 0:04:15.040 --> 0:04:17.799 that trains used to be seen through fog. And that's 0:04:17.839 --> 0:04:23.160 how Ed from Dayton, who Ed from Dayton found us. 0:04:22.839 --> 0:04:27.520 He said that the radio happened to be on one 0:04:27.640 --> 0:04:31.080 night and he got up to use the powder room, 0:04:31.080 --> 0:04:34.640 as they say on ht TV in Canada, HGTV in Canada, 0:04:34.680 --> 0:04:38.240 they say the powder room. Now, that is how all 0:04:38.320 --> 0:04:44.279 great romances begin in overnight talk radio. The creeping crud, indigestion, insomnia, 0:04:44.520 --> 0:04:46.760 you gotta go, and nobody beats the ways, you know, 0:04:46.839 --> 0:04:49.599 dumb luck, whatever that might be. So this week Ed 0:04:50.600 --> 0:04:55.760 Ed Ed Ed showed up in Los Angeles and he 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:59.119 was saying in Pasadena, home of the Rose Bowl. 0:04:59.160 --> 0:05:03.640 To be exact, now, fly no, he did not. Ed drove. 0:05:03.760 --> 0:05:08.240 He took four days to drive nineteen hundred and twelve 0:05:08.279 --> 0:05:12.040 miles from Dayton, Ohio to Los Angeles. And he got 0:05:12.080 --> 0:05:16.239 to California and he was expecting that California sunshine, palm trees. 0:05:17.200 --> 0:05:21.920 Maybe he'd get a celebrity siding at Erwan, the overpriced 0:05:22.200 --> 0:05:26.320 trendy grocery store in southern California. 0:05:26.440 --> 0:05:27.320 That's E. R. 0:05:28.000 --> 0:05:35.800 Whon Home of the fifty Dollars Strawberry. Instead, Ed got rain. Now, 0:05:35.880 --> 0:05:40.800 not the serious biblical El Nino rain that we get 0:05:40.839 --> 0:05:44.320 every once in a while in the Golden State. Not 0:05:44.480 --> 0:05:48.440 the type that makes the local TV reporter send the 0:05:49.320 --> 0:05:52.760 camera person down and they stand dangerously close to the 0:05:52.800 --> 0:05:54.760 storm drain and tell you to. 0:05:54.680 --> 0:05:55.520 Stay in your home. 0:05:56.400 --> 0:06:00.640 No, this was the kind of mild rain that makes 0:06:00.680 --> 0:06:05.960 the SoCal basin act like they've entered the perfect storm. 0:06:06.480 --> 0:06:10.120 But really, you just need windshield wipers that work. That's 0:06:10.160 --> 0:06:13.120 all you need. Stay off the one oh one freeway. 0:06:14.400 --> 0:06:16.800 I didn't take the one oh one Freeway driving into work. 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:18.880 I made sure I took the long way. I went 0:06:18.920 --> 0:06:21.080 about twenty miles out of my way because I did 0:06:21.080 --> 0:06:23.760 not want to deal with the water park that is 0:06:23.800 --> 0:06:27.000 the one oh one Freeway. Still, listen, when you're from Ohio, 0:06:27.640 --> 0:06:30.920 you expect California to beat California, just like the brochure, 0:06:31.720 --> 0:06:36.799 you want paradise. Instead, Ed got puddles. Puddles and puddles 0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:38.839 and puddles and puddles. Anyway, he called it in the 0:06:38.839 --> 0:06:42.560 show one night, and first time ever I believe Ed's 0:06:42.560 --> 0:06:45.360 called the show and he asked, he said, listen, I'm 0:06:45.400 --> 0:06:47.919 in town. I'd love to come by and then stop 0:06:48.000 --> 0:06:52.560 stop by the studio. Now, this is a tricky little dance. 0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:57.640 Back in the old days, as you know, we used 0:06:57.680 --> 0:07:00.440 to do studio business like it was the statue of liberty. 0:07:00.839 --> 0:07:04.000 Give us you're tired, you're poor, your huddled masses yearning 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:09.200 to breathe free with Overnight Sports Radio. Then a gentleman 0:07:09.440 --> 0:07:12.880 named Mike the Leprechaun jumped onto the scene. And Mike 0:07:12.920 --> 0:07:17.640 the Leprekahn a harmless fellow, as harmless as a sunflower. 0:07:18.080 --> 0:07:21.880 He arrived some twelve hours early, covered in suntanned lotion 0:07:22.160 --> 0:07:26.800 head to toe, and he scared management so much. How 0:07:26.920 --> 0:07:32.040 much he scared them so much that management is convinced 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:36.520 that we are harboring radio fugitives on the Overnight show. 0:07:36.640 --> 0:07:39.880 So after that, there were several memos sent out. Thanks 0:07:39.880 --> 0:07:43.000 to Mike the Leprechaun, the rules got tightened from the 0:07:43.040 --> 0:07:48.840 corporate overlords of the people that pay my salary. Radio 0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:53.640 executives do not speak harmless. They don't understand. Hey, Mike 0:07:53.800 --> 0:07:58.160 just loves suntan lotion, he loves radio. He's a leprechaun. 0:07:58.640 --> 0:08:04.640 Leave him alone. No, they speak legal liability, they speak 0:08:04.800 --> 0:08:10.120 legal liability. No more pop ins is the message. No 0:08:10.320 --> 0:08:15.280 unexpected mal or militia hello, none of that. But something 0:08:15.640 --> 0:08:19.400 about Ed just felt right. He said he had been 0:08:19.400 --> 0:08:21.280 a big fan for years. And I thought, you know, 0:08:21.280 --> 0:08:25.640 if I was a guy like Ed, and I loved radio, 0:08:25.680 --> 0:08:28.320 because I did love radio growing up before I gotten. 0:08:28.040 --> 0:08:30.400 A ring, I loved man, the magic of it, the 0:08:30.400 --> 0:08:31.240 theater of it, the holy. 0:08:31.640 --> 0:08:34.679 So if I were like Ed, and I happen to 0:08:34.679 --> 0:08:36.400 be in town, and I loved the radio show, and 0:08:36.440 --> 0:08:39.920 I wanted to see the show. So what I did 0:08:39.960 --> 0:08:43.440 is I said, listened, just email me, we'll figure something out. 0:08:43.480 --> 0:08:47.000 That's a radio host way when a radio host says, hey, 0:08:47.040 --> 0:08:48.560 email me, we'll figure something out. 0:08:48.760 --> 0:08:50.119 That's a way of the host. 0:08:49.840 --> 0:08:51.920 Saying I'm not really sure that I want to do this, 0:08:52.240 --> 0:08:54.240 but I want you to think that I might do it. 0:08:54.520 --> 0:08:56.400 So why don't you just send me an email and 0:08:56.440 --> 0:08:58.640 then I'll say, well, maybe I will do it. And 0:08:58.679 --> 0:09:01.880 we played a brief email tag game, and then I 0:09:01.960 --> 0:09:08.960 remembered something that sometimes sometimes in life it is okay 0:09:08.960 --> 0:09:11.480 to say yes. You can actually say yes, and it 0:09:11.520 --> 0:09:15.080 doesn't cost me anything. I'm doing the show. I'll be 0:09:15.200 --> 0:09:18.480 there at the studio. There's a slight level of risk. 0:09:18.559 --> 0:09:21.280 This is a total stranger. I don't know Ed. I've 0:09:21.280 --> 0:09:25.439 never met Ed. I don't know anything about Ed from Ohio. 0:09:25.720 --> 0:09:27.320 I just know that he likes the show and he's 0:09:27.360 --> 0:09:30.079 a listener. ED might have a giant butcher knife. I 0:09:30.120 --> 0:09:31.720 want to chop me up in little pieces. 0:09:31.760 --> 0:09:35.240 I don't know. However, I took a risk. I said, 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:36.920 you know, listen, help this guy out. 0:09:36.960 --> 0:09:41.520 It's a good mitzvah, a little kind thing and active kindness. 0:09:41.760 --> 0:09:44.920 So we set a time, and I held my breath, 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:49.880 and sure enough Ed showed up on time, on time, 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:55.040 a good Midwestern person, good Midwestern manners, not Minnesota nice 0:09:55.040 --> 0:09:58.240 because he's from Ohio. He's from Ohio, not Minnesota. And 0:09:58.400 --> 0:10:01.560 Ed stayed exactly thirty minutes. That's the allotted window. We 0:10:01.640 --> 0:10:05.120 now have only thirty minutes. We asked if he could 0:10:05.160 --> 0:10:08.880 take a photo for the social media, and we made 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:11.640 sure to get permission. That's also a new rule that 0:10:11.720 --> 0:10:13.840 we added recently. We had one person I will not 0:10:13.920 --> 0:10:17.040 name the woman, who once threatened to contact the state 0:10:17.080 --> 0:10:21.760 department and also sue me because we posted a benign, 0:10:21.920 --> 0:10:25.920 harmless selfie of the woman and she requested that we 0:10:26.040 --> 0:10:28.199 delete it and the whole thing. And so now we 0:10:28.280 --> 0:10:32.000 have to ask people to post photos on social media. 0:10:32.440 --> 0:10:36.160 So we've had a bit of tough luck on studio visits. 0:10:36.160 --> 0:10:38.000 I mean, it's not every day that you have someone 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:40.000 in you take a photo, post it to promote them 0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:42.760 and they want to sue you. It's also not every 0:10:42.800 --> 0:10:44.960 day that someone shows up twelve hours to the radio 0:10:45.000 --> 0:10:48.280 station twelve hours early, covered in suntan lotion. But here 0:10:48.320 --> 0:10:50.760 we are now Ed is not that person. Ed is 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:54.200 not that person. Ed is not He was there just 0:10:54.360 --> 0:10:57.960 thirty minutes and we talked a little bit briefly about 0:10:58.040 --> 0:11:01.440 what made Ed tick. We talked about from Dayton Hall 0:11:01.480 --> 0:11:05.760 of Famer Dick from Dayton, the Babe Ruth of overnight callers. 0:11:07.240 --> 0:11:10.480 Ed mentioned that he had become a fan he found 0:11:10.480 --> 0:11:13.520 our show when Clay Travis, the man who once hosted 0:11:13.559 --> 0:11:16.400 Mornings on Fox Sports Radio and now sits in one 0:11:16.400 --> 0:11:20.120 of the most significant shares in American broadcasting, the post 0:11:20.200 --> 0:11:24.240 Rush Limbaugh seat, which is a massive seat in broadcasting. 0:11:25.000 --> 0:11:28.000 And I was Clay Travis's lead in for a few 0:11:28.040 --> 0:11:31.600 years there, and Ed knew that he didn't forget that 0:11:32.800 --> 0:11:37.959 and that's that right there. That is radio magic. The reason, 0:11:39.000 --> 0:11:42.000 as Paul Harvey would say the rest of the story, 0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:45.560 the reason that ed from Dayton, Ohio found the show 0:11:46.120 --> 0:11:48.679 is because of Clay Travis and because. 0:11:48.320 --> 0:11:52.320 He had to go take a peepee. Yeah, he stayed 0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:56.240 because of something else entirely. But he happened to go 0:11:56.240 --> 0:11:59.679 to the bathroom. He woke up early and he had 0:11:59.800 --> 0:12:02.480 the radio on and it was our show, and he 0:12:02.640 --> 0:12:03.400 liked what he heard. 0:12:03.600 --> 0:12:07.840 And he has continued to listen since that point in time. 0:12:08.760 --> 0:12:11.000 And so that's it. He stayed because of something else. 0:12:11.040 --> 0:12:15.280 Once you find a show that you like, and I'm 0:12:15.320 --> 0:12:17.360 the same way, I'm the same way. I'm not different 0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:20.600 than you. You find something you like. If you watched 0:12:20.640 --> 0:12:23.400 Benny Versus The Penny, there's a new episode up right now. 0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:25.360 In one of the episodes we've done this week, we 0:12:25.480 --> 0:12:28.320 talked about the Stardust Line, which I used to listen 0:12:28.320 --> 0:12:31.640 to as a kid every Sunday night from ten to midnight. 0:12:31.679 --> 0:12:34.600 The Stardust Line. I loved it, absolutely loved it. The 0:12:34.640 --> 0:12:37.800 show really hit something with me and it just worked. 0:12:38.720 --> 0:12:39.200 It worked. 0:12:39.240 --> 0:12:42.679 So once you find a show that you like, it 0:12:42.800 --> 0:12:45.480 becomes part of your routine. It becomes part of your life. 0:12:46.240 --> 0:12:49.559 And that's why it's so important not to miss too 0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:51.800 much work when you do these kind of jobs, because 0:12:52.080 --> 0:12:54.840 unlike a podcast where you do one a week, and 0:12:54.880 --> 0:12:57.080 it's easy to do a podcast like I'm doing right here, 0:12:57.080 --> 0:13:02.280 it's very easy. Live radio just cuts a little different, 0:13:02.480 --> 0:13:04.600 just a little harder to do live talk radio. 0:13:04.920 --> 0:13:06.680 And you have to be there. You have to be there. 0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:08.360 You have to do the dirty work, do. 0:13:08.360 --> 0:13:11.600 The grunt work, and show up day after day, hour 0:13:11.720 --> 0:13:14.600 after hour. And the way I look at it, it's 0:13:14.679 --> 0:13:19.880 kind of like a sofa, not sufa stadium, which helmet 0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:24.440 Man calls sofi stadium. It's like a sofa that you 0:13:24.600 --> 0:13:28.600 have a sofa. You might not need that sofa. You 0:13:28.720 --> 0:13:31.400 might go a day or two without using the sofa. 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:34.600 Maybe you go all week without using the sofa. However, 0:13:34.640 --> 0:13:37.520 you like the fact that the sofa is there because 0:13:37.520 --> 0:13:40.520 if you need the sofa, you can go on the sofa, 0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:43.000 and every once in a while you just want to 0:13:43.040 --> 0:13:44.760 go back on that sofa. And maybe you love the 0:13:44.800 --> 0:13:46.520 sofa so much you go on there every day of 0:13:46.520 --> 0:13:48.680 the week because that's a very important sofa. 0:13:49.600 --> 0:13:50.440 You want to do it. 0:13:50.440 --> 0:13:52.480 You want to go on the sofa. Sometimes you don't, 0:13:52.960 --> 0:13:53.840 sometimes you don't. 0:13:54.840 --> 0:13:58.160 And so there it was. And there are places you go. 0:13:58.080 --> 0:14:01.839 Because they feed you, and there are places you go 0:14:01.880 --> 0:14:06.720 because they know you. It's like it becomes part of 0:14:06.760 --> 0:14:09.240 your routine, you know, like a diner becomes part of 0:14:09.240 --> 0:14:11.600 a trucker's map for you boys that are on the 0:14:11.640 --> 0:14:14.880 road all the time. So I told that, listen are 0:14:15.200 --> 0:14:17.360 You're the backbone of the show. Not the callers, not 0:14:17.400 --> 0:14:20.840 the characters, not the podcast reviewers or the social media 0:14:20.920 --> 0:14:25.480 warriors with fake avatars. No, no, no, the silent majority, 0:14:26.000 --> 0:14:29.480 the quiet ones, the ones who never text, the ones 0:14:29.520 --> 0:14:31.800 who never post anything, the ones who listen to the 0:14:31.840 --> 0:14:36.320 podcast while mowing the lawn on a Saturday morning, or 0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:42.560 live overnight while stocking at Kroger Aisle seven or making 0:14:43.000 --> 0:14:47.200 bullets at a factory in Missouri all night. Wink wink, 0:14:47.280 --> 0:14:51.400 nod nod. They rarely call, but they are always there. 0:14:51.600 --> 0:14:56.360 They know every nickname, every catchphrase, all the characters that 0:14:56.480 --> 0:14:59.240 call the show, from Jed who Fled, to Marcel and 0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:03.320 everyone in which Justin and Cincinnati and Robbie the Mariner fan, 0:15:03.520 --> 0:15:05.720 mister nice Guy and no Stredinis. 0:15:06.320 --> 0:15:07.359 And they know everybody. 0:15:08.040 --> 0:15:11.000 They know who won Benny versus the Penny in Week 0:15:11.080 --> 0:15:13.680 seven of the twenty nineteen NFL season. I don't even 0:15:13.760 --> 0:15:15.840 know who won Benny versus the Penny in Week seven 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:18.680 of the twenty nineteen NFL season. They are the reason 0:15:18.800 --> 0:15:21.880 the lights stay on at three in the morning, the 0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:27.480 silent majority, and they're the reason that radio still feels 0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:30.440 a little bit like magic presto. 0:15:31.400 --> 0:15:34.000 Theater of the mind, they call. 0:15:33.920 --> 0:15:37.920 It, and that's not I don't know if that's quite 0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:38.840 right theater in mind. 0:15:38.840 --> 0:15:40.000 It's theater of connection. 0:15:40.960 --> 0:15:44.640 It's all about connection, the theater of stumbling into and 0:15:44.760 --> 0:15:49.120 onto a voice in the night and deciding not to 0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:51.880 turn it off. And radio just again means a little 0:15:51.920 --> 0:15:52.480 more at night. 0:15:52.680 --> 0:15:53.440 It just does. 0:15:53.960 --> 0:15:56.120 You get paid more money during the day and people 0:15:56.200 --> 0:15:58.240 like you more and all that, but it just is 0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:00.920 more important at night. 0:16:02.360 --> 0:16:04.080 It just is. 0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:06.600 It just cuts a little different. And so when Ed 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:09.240 was ready to leave the studio because we're getting close 0:16:09.280 --> 0:16:11.880 to the thirty minute mark, it was kind of a 0:16:11.960 --> 0:16:14.440 rainy week, as we said, you know, not hard, just 0:16:14.600 --> 0:16:16.520 enough to make the street lights glow a little bit. 0:16:16.560 --> 0:16:19.560 And I escorted Ed. 0:16:19.640 --> 0:16:22.440 From Dayton out of the building and we took our 0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:26.040 photo walked him out and all that waved goodbye, and 0:16:26.200 --> 0:16:29.520 back into the studio I went. And then the fan 0:16:29.960 --> 0:16:35.080 was spinning, the control board was humming, the buttons were flashing. 0:16:36.000 --> 0:16:39.680 The clock said really late, really late. 0:16:40.320 --> 0:16:44.800 And somewhere out there heading back to Pasadena, a guy 0:16:44.840 --> 0:16:49.440 from Dayton, Ohio now knew what the studio looked like, 0:16:49.920 --> 0:16:54.880 what we look like. The voice in the dark and. 0:16:54.760 --> 0:16:57.080 The other are actually real people. Hear human beings. 0:16:57.920 --> 0:17:01.040 And you know a little little diner in the night 0:17:01.240 --> 0:17:05.600 with the seat belt yourself or seat yourself down. 0:17:05.600 --> 0:17:07.440 You have to wear a seatbelt, you can seat yourself 0:17:07.480 --> 0:17:12.000 and all that. Now, isn't that something that's overnight radio. 0:17:12.640 --> 0:17:16.480 You talk to strangers long enough and some of the 0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:18.000 strangers become friends. 0:17:18.040 --> 0:17:21.879 You never see them, yet they're your friends. You're just 0:17:21.960 --> 0:17:22.840 weird for. 0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:26.600 The midnight travelers. We'll leave the light on for you, 0:17:26.680 --> 0:17:28.960 kind of like that hotel. Meanwhile, turning the page on 0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:32.440 that it is a college football Saturday today. You will 0:17:32.440 --> 0:17:35.879 not see Old Miss be playing on television. 0:17:35.880 --> 0:17:36.560 No, Old Miss. 0:17:36.560 --> 0:17:40.080 They play the day after Thanksgiving game against their blood 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:43.000 rival Old Miss versus Mississippi State. 0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:45.000 So I bring this up. 0:17:45.040 --> 0:17:47.800 There are reports now we're doing this early on a Saturday, 0:17:48.400 --> 0:17:52.000 the twenty second day of November, that there are reports 0:17:52.000 --> 0:17:55.320 here that came down overnight that said that Lane Kiffin 0:17:55.359 --> 0:17:58.639 has been offered a record tying amount of money to 0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:06.040 leave Miss for SEC rival LSU in a major college 0:18:06.040 --> 0:18:09.800 football story. It's not done yet as we are rolling 0:18:09.840 --> 0:18:13.199 on this podcast, but the coaching carousel going round and 0:18:13.280 --> 0:18:15.679 round and round and round and round. So the question 0:18:16.400 --> 0:18:20.200 for the esteem panel, what is Lane Kiffen going to do? 0:18:20.920 --> 0:18:23.520 Report is he hasn't decided yet, but he's been offered 0:18:23.520 --> 0:18:27.119 a record tying amount of money. So what does old 0:18:27.200 --> 0:18:31.119 Miss coach Lane Kiffin do? That is the question. What 0:18:31.480 --> 0:18:34.400 is the answer. So he is going to do what 0:18:34.520 --> 0:18:38.159 Lane Kiffen always does. He's going to pack up the 0:18:38.200 --> 0:18:43.639 suitcase and fire up the Hobo Express and many mana 0:18:43.640 --> 0:18:49.639 many mane may This is not a hard decision. Lane 0:18:49.760 --> 0:18:53.479 Kiffen was born to wonder. He's in a football family. 0:18:53.560 --> 0:18:57.359 Monte Kiffen, the old the late coach, his dad football lifer, 0:18:57.880 --> 0:19:01.840 and Lane Kiffin inherited that it's the family business. He's 0:19:01.880 --> 0:19:07.879 a football carpetbagger, an opportunist, a traveling pigskin salesman. Most 0:19:07.960 --> 0:19:10.919 of these college coaches, if they're any good, they're like 0:19:11.160 --> 0:19:14.320 modern day snake oil hustlers. 0:19:14.880 --> 0:19:16.199 They're snake oil husters. 0:19:16.240 --> 0:19:19.840 They show up, crank up the hype machine, grab the bag, 0:19:20.400 --> 0:19:24.960 and yodel out of town before the paint trials. Seven years, 0:19:25.119 --> 0:19:28.920 ninety million dollars is the report that LSU has offered 0:19:30.000 --> 0:19:33.000 their head coach their next head coach. They hope Lane Kiffin. 0:19:33.080 --> 0:19:35.840 Keep in mind, they're gonna pay Brian Kelly the payout. 0:19:35.880 --> 0:19:37.919 They got a lot of payout money they're paying, and 0:19:37.960 --> 0:19:41.840 now they want this guy ninety million dollars plus twenty 0:19:41.840 --> 0:19:46.120 five million dollars salary cap in nil money every year. 0:19:47.400 --> 0:19:49.960 So what's he gonna do. You don't reject a winning 0:19:50.000 --> 0:19:54.119 lottery ticket. You hop to the lottery office and you say, okay, 0:19:54.200 --> 0:19:57.000 let's cash this thing, and you wave goodbye to Mississippi. 0:19:57.000 --> 0:19:59.480 You say bye bye, We'll be back to see you 0:19:59.480 --> 0:20:04.320 in a little bit. And old miss was never ever 0:20:04.440 --> 0:20:08.440 going to be the final destination. The last supper for 0:20:08.600 --> 0:20:13.960 Lane kifvin Oxford, Mississippi is essentially a BUCkies on the 0:20:14.000 --> 0:20:17.320 coaching road trip map. I think Kiffin will go to 0:20:17.440 --> 0:20:21.480 Baton Rouge or somewhere like it. Would go with Baton Ruge, 0:20:21.600 --> 0:20:24.720 win some games, and in four years from now he'll 0:20:24.720 --> 0:20:27.240 be on the sidelines deciding whether or not he wants 0:20:27.240 --> 0:20:30.680 to leave to go back to USC again or coach 0:20:30.800 --> 0:20:34.560 dot Dallas Gabbars. You see Lane Kiffin if he were 0:20:34.600 --> 0:20:40.000 a stock, high volatility, high volatility, good. 0:20:39.880 --> 0:20:42.280 For day trading only. Now. 0:20:42.320 --> 0:20:44.840 The only thing that worries me, and this is I 0:20:44.840 --> 0:20:46.520 have no skin in the game. I'm not an old 0:20:46.600 --> 0:20:49.919 miss fan. I'm not like numb nuts. Brian Finley, fer 0:20:50.080 --> 0:20:52.880 Dog's friend, I'm not like him. He's a huge old 0:20:52.920 --> 0:20:56.840 Miss fan. Family goes there, Family's been there. I'm not 0:20:56.960 --> 0:20:59.920 like that. I'm not certainly not an LSU fan. Although 0:21:00.080 --> 0:21:03.160 I've dealt with some people in Baton Rouge. The great 0:21:03.240 --> 0:21:05.879 Dale Brown, the LSU's basketball coach, did some shows for 0:21:05.920 --> 0:21:09.400 Fox Sports Radio, and Chris Landry, the Fox football scout 0:21:10.040 --> 0:21:13.120 at one point lived in Baton Rouge and whatnot. So 0:21:13.480 --> 0:21:15.320 I have no skin in the game on that the 0:21:15.359 --> 0:21:17.479 only thing that does concern me. The internet has been 0:21:17.520 --> 0:21:21.240 buzzing here that the reason LSU is able to come 0:21:21.320 --> 0:21:23.880 up with this kind of money, it is all the 0:21:24.000 --> 0:21:29.200 brain child behind the guy who created raising Canes who's 0:21:29.400 --> 0:21:34.600 a huge fan of LSU football. His money is involved. 0:21:35.840 --> 0:21:41.600 Is it true? If indeed, if indeed the person behind 0:21:42.080 --> 0:21:45.280 the person behind the raising cans chicken fingers has cut 0:21:45.280 --> 0:21:48.719 a cartoon sized check in order to get Lane Kiffen 0:21:48.880 --> 0:21:50.040 to baton Rouge. 0:21:50.520 --> 0:21:51.879 And it's that money. 0:21:52.800 --> 0:21:56.720 If this goes the way it could, where the canniac 0:21:56.840 --> 0:21:58.919 combo now goes for thirty. 0:21:58.640 --> 0:22:01.160 Five dollars, I'm out. 0:22:01.359 --> 0:22:05.679 I am not financing LSU's defensive line push because I 0:22:05.720 --> 0:22:09.240 want some crinckled cut fries and some Texas toast. No, 0:22:09.960 --> 0:22:12.080 this is how college football works. 0:22:12.080 --> 0:22:12.280 Though. 0:22:12.880 --> 0:22:17.000 You buy a coach, you buy a roster, and you pray, 0:22:17.880 --> 0:22:21.320 you pray in the transfer portal. That is what this 0:22:21.520 --> 0:22:25.560 is right, that Lane Kifvin's already halfway to baton Rouge 0:22:25.600 --> 0:22:28.600 as we talk here early on this twenty second day 0:22:29.119 --> 0:22:34.240 of November. And this is subject to change based on 0:22:34.400 --> 0:22:38.480 what I know. Lane Kifven just hasn't officially gassed up 0:22:38.520 --> 0:22:43.320 the old U haul. And he's coaching like like you know, 0:22:43.359 --> 0:22:46.960 he's coaching like it's coaching like he doesn't have a home. 0:22:47.240 --> 0:22:51.159 He's a mentioned vagabond. Most of these big time coaches 0:22:51.200 --> 0:22:55.240 don't have hometowns. They have zip codes with forwarding addresses. 0:22:55.280 --> 0:22:57.119 It's all about the zip code. You don't even know 0:22:57.160 --> 0:22:58.200 what zip code you're in. 0:22:58.840 --> 0:22:59.480 You have no ID. 0:22:59.560 --> 0:23:02.439 You just on the move, on the move again, you 0:23:02.440 --> 0:23:05.520 have no idea. You don't put down roots. There's no roots. 0:23:05.640 --> 0:23:13.080 You do not put down roots. Absolutely not no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, what. 0:23:13.040 --> 0:23:17.560 Are you talking about? Put down roots? No? Never. Lane 0:23:17.640 --> 0:23:20.760 Kiffin is LSU. 0:23:20.440 --> 0:23:25.920 Bound, baby LSU bound, And don't get too comfortable. That 0:23:26.000 --> 0:23:30.040 won't last. It certainly won't be his last stop, right, 0:23:30.280 --> 0:23:33.040