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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John. We're the ancient

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Speaker 1: two case storytime podcast hosts, and we have some ancient

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Speaker 1: wisdom in the stories coming up.

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Speaker 2: If you want to.

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Speaker 1: Hear the wisdom from two old heads that know more

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Speaker 1: than they know what to do with, you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to wait for a quick message from our sponsors for

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Speaker 1: the next two minutes or so.

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Speaker 3: I asked comfort from my husband, but he pointed out

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Speaker 3: a blemish instaid who asked you and trigger warning, they're

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Speaker 3: insinuations of miscarriage.

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Speaker 4: We have been through a lot together. We met in.

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Speaker 3: College nearly fifteen years ago. We're long distance for a

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Speaker 3: little while after graduation. Then we moved overseas together and

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Speaker 3: back again. We now own a house to have some pets,

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Speaker 3: are both gainfully employed and have a wonderful time together.

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Speaker 3: We're great together when times are good. We've been married

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Speaker 3: for seven years. By the way, this comes from Renee Elaine,

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Speaker 3: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 3: to the our.

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Speaker 4: Slash arky story of time Separate It.

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Speaker 5: So, yeah, the thing about we're great together when times

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Speaker 5: are good is yeah, that's.

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Speaker 3: We're not great. There's a way to describe a relationship.

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Speaker 3: The problem is that he is a really awful communicator.

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Speaker 3: While I am very open with how I'm feeling, I

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Speaker 3: wear my heart on my sleeve, while he could keep

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Speaker 3: what he's feeling inside indefinitely. This has always been hard

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Speaker 3: to reconcile. But our problems really started about two years

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Speaker 3: ago when we started talking about the subject of having children.

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Speaker 3: I had serious doubts about my capacity for motherhood, but

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Speaker 3: he wanted to be a father. When I would talk

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Speaker 3: to him about my reservations or fears, he would usually

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Speaker 3: just shut down and say, let's not have kids. Then

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Speaker 3: he would never be on board for a deep discussion.

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Speaker 3: I decided my fears weren't enough to be a deal breaker,

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Speaker 3: so we went ahead and started trying. Over time, we

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Speaker 3: faced heartbreaking setbacks and trying to build our family. The

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Speaker 3: stress of first trying to conceive and then losing hope

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Speaker 3: more than once was immense. I turned to him countless

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Speaker 3: times for support, and at countless times I came away

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Speaker 3: feeling like he was going through the motions but there

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Speaker 3: was nothing.

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Speaker 4: Real behind them.

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Speaker 3: I know it can be hard for some to grasp

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Speaker 3: the pain of facing those losses, but as my partner,

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Speaker 3: I feel there was a serious lack of genuine sympathy.

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Speaker 4: When I was struggling and in pain.

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Speaker 3: He would hug me, hold me, do everything that would

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Speaker 3: make it look like he was by my side in this,

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Speaker 3: but never seemed to really listen when I talked about

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Speaker 3: it or converse about it with any depth.

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Speaker 4: This year has been hard for me. It started out promising.

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Speaker 3: I was hopeful again and I was also up for

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Speaker 3: a promotion at work. Sadly, things didn't go the way

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Speaker 3: we hoped, and even though all signs pointed to the

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Speaker 3: promotion working out, the position was eliminated. After I had

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Speaker 3: gone through three rounds of interviews to get it, I

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Speaker 3: found out the position was eliminated officially yesterday. When he

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Speaker 3: got home from work. I asked him for a hug. Instead,

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Speaker 3: he started examining the skin around my mouth. He said,

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Speaker 3: do you have mouth herpies?

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Speaker 4: Or WHOA what? That's crazy? You have mouth herpies?

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Speaker 5: Yeah? Who would I be getting those from you?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? Do you know what that is? Yeah? It's like

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Speaker 4: he's basically accusing her of cheating.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, oh my god, I have been breaking out in

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Speaker 3: that area since the last loss. It's a hormonal trouble

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Speaker 3: spot for acne for me, and no matter what I do,

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Speaker 3: nothing stops it. Right afterwards, my hormones are just out

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Speaker 3: of balance for a couple of months. So not only

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Speaker 3: was I turned down for comfort after a long couple

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Speaker 3: of months trying to get this promotion and finding out

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Speaker 3: it wasn't going to happen, but he pointed out a

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Speaker 3: flaw on my face that happens to be a lasting

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Speaker 3: side effect of another devastating moment in our journey. At first,

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Speaker 3: I was angry, demanded for an apology and gave him

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Speaker 3: the cold shoulder.

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Speaker 4: After he gave me an insecere one.

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Speaker 3: Then I let go of the anger and just felt

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Speaker 3: so sad, just incredibly hopelessly sad.

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Speaker 4: I cried all night long.

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Speaker 3: He finally came to me and said that he was

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Speaker 3: sorry in a sincere way, and we hugged for a

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Speaker 3: long time.

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Speaker 5: But what's his problem? Because this has been going on

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Speaker 5: for a while of him just being rude and like bitter.

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Speaker 4: Kind of sounds like he's just like this. Yeah.

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Speaker 5: My question for up really quick is is this a

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Speaker 5: switch up from how he's been or has he always

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Speaker 5: been like this?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Because if he's always been like this, this is not

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Speaker 5: someone that you want to have kids with, let alone

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Speaker 5: a relationship with exactly.

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Speaker 4: But I couldn't talk to him.

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Speaker 3: I just couldn't put myself in the pace of telling

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Speaker 3: him what I was going through and not really knowing

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Speaker 3: he was there for me. After he left for work

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Speaker 3: this morning, he called me and said he realizes that

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Speaker 3: he needs to work on his communication and he's going

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Speaker 3: to try harder. He also said he wants to take

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Speaker 3: a trip for our fifteen year dating aniversty You're.

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Speaker 5: Together for fifteen years.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, which is something I have been talking about for

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Speaker 3: almost a year now, but that he never seemed interested

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Speaker 3: until now. I'm left feeling like this is all just

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Speaker 3: too little, too late. I suggested marriage counseling about a

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Speaker 3: year ago when I felt a major disconnect between us

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Speaker 3: after our first two setbacks. He said he would go,

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Speaker 3: but I never followed up and looked for a counselor.

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Speaker 3: Now I feel like maybe it's just too late. I

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Speaker 3: feel like my trust in him is shattered. Is this

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Speaker 3: something that we can fix in counseling? Will his communication

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Speaker 3: ever improve? Can I get over these feelings of bitterness?

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Speaker 3: And there are some relevant comments, but what do we

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Speaker 3: think to all that.

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Speaker 5: I honestly, I don't think so. I think that you've

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Speaker 5: tried to go to therapy. Yeah, well, wasn't receptive, right,

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Speaker 5: He's been insulting you, He's been emotionally immature. He tells

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Speaker 5: you that he going to change, right, I haven't seen

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Speaker 5: any of that change.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, I think you know in general, sure, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: we don't really know him. I guess it's possible for

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Speaker 3: things to change, but you definitely have to look out

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Speaker 3: for that. And I think if he's telling you this stuff,

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Speaker 3: you can't just blindly trust that. You can maybe accept

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Speaker 3: it for the moment, but be like okay, and then

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Speaker 3: just keep an eye out for the change.

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Speaker 4: Don't let him just tell you that he's changing. You

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Speaker 4: have to see it. Yeah.

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Speaker 5: And I also think, like, in those fifteen years of dating,

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Speaker 5: how much of this has been this type of behavior? Yeah,

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Speaker 5: and how much of it was good?

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Speaker 4: Does a big shift?

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Speaker 5: Maybe he's going through something that you need to talk about,

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Speaker 5: see if he's depressed or whatever.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe he isn't good at talking about his feelings.

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Speaker 3: And maybe this whole thing with your troubles of getting pregnant,

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Speaker 3: maybe that's really affecting. Yeah, and he's just really not

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Speaker 3: knowing how to deal with it, if it's been a

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Speaker 3: switch up, or maybe it's.

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Speaker 5: A sign that you shouldn't have kids with him. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: because you even before you go I started trying. We're

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Speaker 5: doubtful of that he would be a good parent.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but there are some relevant comments. Oh, he says,

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Speaker 3: I called him and told him about the promotion not

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Speaker 3: working out earlier in the day before he came home.

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Speaker 3: He also knows that my hormones are causing my blemishes.

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Speaker 3: I don't know why he chose to be so callous

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Speaker 3: while knowing all of this information. I'm not usually sensitive

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Speaker 3: about remarks like that, but I think under the circumstances,

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Speaker 3: it was unfair, and a downvoted commentary says, I'm not

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Speaker 3: sure he really chose to be so callous.

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Speaker 4: Maybe you disagree.

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Speaker 3: But a lot of times, if I'm very stressed out

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Speaker 3: about my work or whatever, and I know my wife

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Speaker 3: is stressed out about her job or family or whatever,

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Speaker 3: then I subconsciously realize that I'm not mentally prepared to

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Speaker 3: truly listen and lend a sympathetic ear, and find myself

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Speaker 3: avoiding or squirming out of serious conversations. I've tried to

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Speaker 3: get better and to simply tell her when I don't

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Speaker 3: have the emotional energy to be her support at the moment.

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Speaker 3: But sometimes I find myself simply shutting down and changing

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Speaker 3: the subject. I think you are upset because he wasn't

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Speaker 3: there to give you what you needed. But I think

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Speaker 3: you may be overlooking how emotionally exhausting it can be

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Speaker 3: to be a constant life for a partner, especially if

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Speaker 3: you have both been going through some rough times career wise,

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Speaker 3: family wise, et cetera. My point isn't to try to

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Speaker 3: make excuses for him. I'm just explaining that if I

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Speaker 3: put myself in his shoes here, I can see making

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Speaker 3: some comment like that as sort of a knee jerk

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Speaker 3: defense mechanism if I wasn't in a mental stake capable

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Speaker 3: of empathy. I don't think he was being intentionally callous.

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Speaker 3: I think he was just not able to provide any

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Speaker 3: empathy at the moment and did a poor job of

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Speaker 3: communicating that. I think questioning your marriage over this is

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Speaker 3: pretty rash.

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Speaker 4: I would say about that too. I disagree with what

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Speaker 4: it's not rash. Sheby said, this has been going on

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Speaker 4: for a while. Yeah, because it's not just that he's.

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Speaker 3: Like in a bad mood sometimes, or it is like

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Speaker 3: a little you know, just in his fields or distant

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Speaker 3: or something like that.

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Speaker 4: It's that he, you.

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Speaker 5: Know, consistently has shown himself to be rude, uncaring, unable

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Speaker 5: to have an emotional connection, emotional anything, maturity.

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Speaker 3: It doesn't seem like he's actually there for you, and

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Speaker 3: you know that, like you're telling us that. Yeah, Opie

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Speaker 3: says to that comment. After my first loss, he scoffed

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Speaker 3: when I suggested a vacation around the time of the

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Speaker 3: do date to ease the pain and told me I

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Speaker 3: shouldn't turn it into a morbid anniversary.

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Speaker 4: This was about a week after the loss.

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Speaker 3: When I told him I needed to distance myself for

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Speaker 3: my pregnant friend after she showed me no support. He

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Speaker 3: told me I should be there for her and told

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Speaker 3: me to put myself in her shoes. For some reason,

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Speaker 3: he denied the second loss was even a real pregnancy

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Speaker 3: for months. It took reminding him of the tests we

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Speaker 3: took together and that I actually passed the tissue to

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Speaker 3: get him to finally stop denying it, although I don't

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Speaker 3: feel he's ever genuinely accepted it. Do these fit into

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Speaker 3: what you're describing as well, and there is an update,

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Speaker 3: but yeah, man, it just the fact that he's like

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Speaker 3: saying that you should put yourself in your pregnant friend's

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Speaker 3: shoes when like he's not putting himself in your shoes.

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Speaker 4: And again, like to give him.

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Speaker 3: The benefit of the doubt, if this hasn't been how

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Speaker 3: he always is, maybe it is just that these are

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Speaker 3: really hard on him. If he was like really denying

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Speaker 3: the last one, you know, maybe he's just really having

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Speaker 3: a hard time with that.

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Speaker 4: But it's not fair to you to be treated like this. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: while he's doing that.

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Speaker 5: I also think just like if you think that this

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Speaker 5: marriage is capable of being worked on, then I think

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Speaker 5: in the meantime you cannot be actively pursuing having a child.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, like I think you would have to put full

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Speaker 5: force into fixing the marriage and put the baby on

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Speaker 5: the back burner.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and he should go into therapy before that, because

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Speaker 3: if this communication or lack thereof is a problem now

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Speaker 3: in these hard times, there's gonna be way more hard

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Speaker 3: times when you're having a kid, So you're gonna need

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Speaker 3: to figure out how to communicate or he's going to

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Speaker 3: need to figure it out.

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Speaker 4: First, before you get into that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but we do have an update, so five months later.

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Speaker 3: We got into counseling not too long after that post

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Speaker 3: and have been continuing every week since.

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Speaker 4: We just had a session yesterday. Our counselor is wonderful.

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Speaker 3: She really understands the situation and has identified the struggle

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Speaker 3: my husband faces when confronted with an uncomfortable topic like

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Speaker 3: our losses, stress at work, decision to have children or not,

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Speaker 3: and more. We have spent quite a long time discussing

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Speaker 3: my husband's upbringing. His family isn't really big on communicating,

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Speaker 3: and there are many problems that he and his siblings

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Speaker 3: have had over the years and continue to this day

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Speaker 3: that were never addressed and never resolved. In session, he

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Speaker 3: talked about how he felt his emotional needs were never

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Speaker 3: really met growing up, but that he didn't realize it

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Speaker 3: until now.

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Speaker 4: It made me really sad for him.

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Speaker 3: We had his parents over a few weeks ago, and

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Speaker 3: as usual, the conversation remained really superficial and never delved

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Speaker 3: into anything substantial. I've tried to share with them about

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Speaker 3: our life and our losses before, but there's never been

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Speaker 3: any sign of interest from them in connecting with us.

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Speaker 3: In that way, even though his mother is one of

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Speaker 3: the only people I know in my life who has

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Speaker 3: suffered a loss as well.

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Speaker 4: We spent the.

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Speaker 3: Next week's session processing their visit, and unfortunately, my husband

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Speaker 3: felt a lot of anger and frustration that he wasn't

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Speaker 3: able to talk to them about the important stuff. And

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Speaker 3: there is a little bit more to the story, but

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Speaker 3: they're in counseling.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a good, good start, good start.

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Speaker 3: We're kind of getting to the bottom of the root

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Speaker 3: of our problems here, so.

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Speaker 4: You know, maybe things can turn around.

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Speaker 5: Maybe maybe I don't want to tell you not to

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Speaker 5: pursue it because I think it's good, right, and you've

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Speaker 5: been together for so long, But I just think, Oh,

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Speaker 5: he started off the story saying, I've had doubts.

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Speaker 3: For a while, but I ignored them right and tried

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Speaker 3: for baby, and then we couldn't have a baby.

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Speaker 4: And he's still acting like this.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's just like I didn't get the very

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Speaker 3: best first impression of your relationship.

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Speaker 5: Oh so I just really haven't heard anything good about

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Speaker 5: the relationship.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, however, in our relationship things have completely transformed. We

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Speaker 3: argue so much less, and he is completely present and

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Speaker 3: there for me when I need his support. The topic

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Speaker 3: of having children has come back up, and we are

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Speaker 3: still figuring that out, but we can really talk about

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Speaker 3: it and be open and honest with each other without

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Speaker 3: fear and with respect and open arms for each other.

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Speaker 4: He has repeatedly said that he's really.

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Speaker 3: Happy that we got into therapy and that he feels

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Speaker 3: great about the state of our relationship. I'm almost happy

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Speaker 3: we've gone through such hard time so that we were

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Speaker 3: able to hit bottom and get to this wonderful place.

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Speaker 3: So thank you to everyone for your kindness and generosity

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Speaker 3: and following our journey.

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Speaker 4: And they're always a huge switch up. Yeah, it really was.

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Speaker 5: I was like, everything's fine, guys.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know if I believe you, but I mean,

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Speaker 4: I don't know. I hope so, yeah, I really hope.

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Speaker 3: So. But there are some final comments. Yeah delete it

296
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Speaker 3: says my husband's family is very similar to your husband's

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Speaker 3: And yes, my husband and his siblings all have issues.

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Speaker 4: They bottle things up and then explode.

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Speaker 3: They take things far too seriously and are very hard

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Speaker 3: on themselves. Meanwhile, they are unable to acknowledge when others

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Speaker 3: are experiencing sadness or pain. And instead see it as

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Speaker 3: a competition. For example, I told them that my mother

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Speaker 3: was seriously ill with his mother then launched into a

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Speaker 3: monologue about her aches and pains, and his siblings said

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Speaker 3: nothing at all. One of his siblings can't even say

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Speaker 3: happy Birthday or Merry Christmas. He says, it's your birthday

307
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Speaker 3: and it's Christmas and you're here.

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Speaker 4: That's crazy.

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Speaker 3: When they do talk, it's about stuff like whine, music,

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Speaker 3: characters in a book. They don't ever talk about how

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Speaker 3: they're feeling, acknowledge anything bad that has happened, what's going

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Speaker 3: on in their lives, and nothing beyond a conversation that

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Speaker 3: you could easily have with a stranger. One of them

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Speaker 3: only shows how he is feeling with rants on Facebook,

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Speaker 3: which comes across as him having a pity party, and

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Speaker 3: when people reply and comments, he angrily rants at them and.

317
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Speaker 4: Says, I don't ask for your sympathy. I'm quite all right.

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Speaker 3: Then he'll have another rant on Facebook about people not

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Speaker 3: minding their own business about his life. When my husband

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Speaker 3: told his mother over the phone that we have been

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Speaker 3: confirming as infertile, without skipping a beat, she launched into

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Speaker 3: talking about.

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Speaker 4: His sister's choir music.

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Speaker 3: He was very angry and hurt, especially because my parents'

325
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Speaker 3: reaction was to cry for us and tell us how

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Speaker 3: sorry they are. And that was the tipping point where

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Speaker 3: he acknowledged that his parents don't communicate like they should.

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Speaker 3: Prior to that, he always said that I had an

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Speaker 3: abnormally close relationship with my parents because we talk every

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Speaker 3: few days on the phone. He rarely talks with his

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Speaker 3: family on the phone, not even for birthdays. My husband

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Speaker 3: husband to counseling. We also talk at length about how

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Speaker 3: to express ourselves and how to acknowledge others.

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Speaker 4: He's getting there.

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Speaker 3: When I compare to how he is now to how

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Speaker 3: he was back then, he is one hundred times better

337
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:01,600
Speaker 3: and much happier. I actually do think that what saved

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Speaker 3: him is that growing up, he was the only one

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Speaker 3: of his siblings that had a large group of friends

340
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,839
Speaker 3: and was heavily involved in team sports, so he did

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00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,599
Speaker 3: develop some type of social skills. The rest were daydreaming

342
00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:13,520
Speaker 3: with their nose in a book or off in La

343
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Speaker 3: La land playing musical instruments, and Op says, Wow, that's

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Speaker 3: really fascinating what you said about the conversations being like

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Speaker 3: what you would talk to a stranger about is definitely

346
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Speaker 3: might in laws.

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Speaker 4: They don't even discuss politics with each other.

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Speaker 3: We are really close with my family, and perhaps we

349
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:30,600
Speaker 3: are a bit extreme on the other end of the

350
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Speaker 3: spectrum in terms of prying and sharing, but at least

351
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Speaker 3: I know I can confide in them and they will

352
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,800
Speaker 3: always support us in whatever way we need them to.

353
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Speaker 3: Our main concern is that one of his siblings really

354
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:43,160
Speaker 3: needs help and no one is acknowledging it. We believe

355
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Speaker 3: it will become our problem to deal with one day,

356
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Speaker 3: but no one will discuss it. So who knows? And

357
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:52,040
Speaker 3: that is the end of that story. Oh and yeah, yeah,

358
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Speaker 3: I don't know. I seems like it's a little bit better. Yeah,

359
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:57,120
Speaker 3: ended on like a hopeful note, because I do kind

360
00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:59,440
Speaker 3: of feel like, sometimes, you know, if you get too

361
00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:02,600
Speaker 3: much into like lying or like trying to cover up

362
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Speaker 3: the bad things with the good things when you're like

363
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Speaker 3: talking about your problems in a relationship, I feel like

364
00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:10,520
Speaker 3: that could show problems in itself sometimes.

365
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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I agree.

366
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Speaker 3: Yeah, So it's like I feel like, I mean, what

367
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,600
Speaker 3: could be happening is she's just being very honest. Yeah,

368
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:19,720
Speaker 3: and some of that honesty showed flaws in the relationship

369
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:22,400
Speaker 3: for sure, but I mean it does seem like, you know,

370
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Speaker 3: hopefully they're working on it.

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Speaker 4: Some people just don't get it.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I feel like we grew up in with

373
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Speaker 3: so much talk about therapy and openness about that stuff.

374
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Speaker 3: But I mean, depending on how old they are, I

375
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:33,920
Speaker 3: don't think we got their ages. Yeah, they've been together

376
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:36,880
Speaker 3: for fifteen years, so maybe it's just hasn't been a

377
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:39,720
Speaker 3: thing in their lives and they just didn't especially if

378
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:42,440
Speaker 3: he grew up without a lot of communication in his family.

379
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Speaker 3: But I hope the best for you and your relationship, Opie.

380
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Speaker 5: My boyfriend demanded a paternity test, but I never cheated.

381
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Speaker 4: How could it be anyone else.

382
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:55,880
Speaker 5: My boyfriend asked for a paternity test for our child.

383
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:58,200
Speaker 5: As soon as the results come and show he is

384
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Speaker 5: the father, I'm leaving him. I'm a new mom to

385
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:03,320
Speaker 5: a baby boy who is my pride and joy, and

386
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,880
Speaker 5: though it's been a rollercoaster adjusting to taking care of

387
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:07,840
Speaker 5: a baby, the past few months have been.

388
00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:09,720
Speaker 4: Great, tiring, but great.

389
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,080
Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from I'm shattered and if

390
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:13,480
Speaker 5: you want to smit your own stories, go to the

391
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:16,560
Speaker 5: r slash. Okay, storytime suvered it so I have a

392
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,720
Speaker 5: boyfriend of three years who is the first person relationship wise,

393
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:21,960
Speaker 5: I have ever loved, and I thought we were doing

394
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:24,960
Speaker 5: great as new parents but also as partners. Friday, he

395
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,560
Speaker 5: came home and he asked me for a paternity.

396
00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:28,080
Speaker 4: Test, just like that.

397
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:30,800
Speaker 5: It was completely out of the blue. I was putting

398
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:32,840
Speaker 5: away the dishes and he asked for one, like he

399
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,400
Speaker 5: was asking what's for dinner. I'm a different race from him,

400
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,320
Speaker 5: but our child, apart from the skin tone, is literally

401
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:41,200
Speaker 5: his mirror image from pictures I've seen of him when

402
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,040
Speaker 5: he was a baby. I was stunned when he asked,

403
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,840
Speaker 5: and his reasons were that he had to be sure

404
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,160
Speaker 5: he was the father. He had to have that certainty.

405
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:51,479
Speaker 5: All I remember as he was speaking is just immediately

406
00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:54,720
Speaker 5: feeling pain. The man I love doesn't trust me. He

407
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:58,120
Speaker 5: would actually believe that I would f someone else cheat

408
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:00,400
Speaker 5: on him and then try to pass off off another

409
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:03,400
Speaker 5: man's baby as his. I have never even given him

410
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,159
Speaker 5: reason to think that I would cheat on him. I

411
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:08,400
Speaker 5: have tried to be transparent and communicate, and it wasn't enough.

412
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,320
Speaker 5: He told me he would give me time to think

413
00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:12,959
Speaker 5: about this, that he wouldn't go behind my back and

414
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,720
Speaker 5: do this test, but for our relationship to move forward,

415
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,000
Speaker 5: he needs to be one hundred percent short.

416
00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:22,120
Speaker 3: She's man for you to have a relationship moving forward.

417
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:23,920
Speaker 5: Like in total, you're gonna be one hundred percent short,

418
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:25,640
Speaker 5: but your relationship's not gonna be moving forward.

419
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:26,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think so.

420
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,760
Speaker 5: He repeated this because he, in his words, needed me

421
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:33,119
Speaker 5: to realize how serious he was. After thinking for a

422
00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:35,760
Speaker 5: couple of days, I'm going to allow him this paternity

423
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,199
Speaker 5: test because I have nothing to hide. I've never cheated

424
00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:40,760
Speaker 5: and would have never cheated on him. Once it's proven

425
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:43,640
Speaker 5: that he's the father, I'm ending it, leaving the same day,

426
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,840
Speaker 5: and I'm going to try my best to co parent

427
00:17:46,119 --> 00:17:48,280
Speaker 5: with him. In the meantime, I'm coming up with my

428
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,760
Speaker 5: exit plan, a place to live, and a lawyer to

429
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:53,880
Speaker 5: work out a custody arrangement and court. I can't even

430
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:56,320
Speaker 5: tell my family or my friends right now because they

431
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,960
Speaker 5: would go nuclear, and my first priority.

432
00:17:58,560 --> 00:17:59,159
Speaker 4: Is our child.

433
00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:01,400
Speaker 5: I hope the test was worth it to him. I'm

434
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:04,840
Speaker 5: not asking for advice or reassurance or to explain his side.

435
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,440
Speaker 5: I'm just realizing this part of my life is now over.

436
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,560
Speaker 5: What a way to start the new year.

437
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:10,480
Speaker 4: Wow.

438
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,440
Speaker 5: And there is an update three weeks later.

439
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:17,440
Speaker 4: But what what do you do? I leave, like how

440
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:18,240
Speaker 4: she's doing I'm.

441
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,040
Speaker 5: Giving him the paternity test, and I'm going.

442
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,159
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you can't trust me, like that's how we

443
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,080
Speaker 3: were supposed to yeah, a kid.

444
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:27,000
Speaker 5: Right now, how are supposed to parent together? Also just

445
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,399
Speaker 5: without any proof? Yeah, he says, oh, I want a

446
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,560
Speaker 5: paternity to test.

447
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:32,160
Speaker 4: Right, and then it's like, okay, well now I don't

448
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:32,680
Speaker 4: trust you.

449
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:35,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, hell now I want a test for you.

450
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:35,800
Speaker 4: Yeah.

451
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,080
Speaker 3: And Also I didn't like the line of like just

452
00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:39,720
Speaker 3: to see how serious I was.

453
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:42,560
Speaker 4: It's like we shouldn't be doing things.

454
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:45,480
Speaker 3: That are like I need you to know that this

455
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,920
Speaker 3: is serious and that this is not okay. So I'm

456
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:51,320
Speaker 3: gonna take this paternity test before our relationship could go forward.

457
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,760
Speaker 4: It feels like an ultimatum or like some sort of threat.

458
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,359
Speaker 4: It absolutely is. I don't like it.

459
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:59,160
Speaker 5: First update three weeks later we did the paternity test.

460
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:02,600
Speaker 5: My boyfriend wanted my post was removed, so I'm going.

461
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:03,200
Speaker 4: To post it here.

462
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,200
Speaker 5: Wow, it's been a couple of weeks since I posted,

463
00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:08,880
Speaker 5: and I have just been navigating things after. I'm going

464
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:11,280
Speaker 5: to call my boyfriend Mason to keep things clear, this

465
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:14,560
Speaker 5: is gonna be long. I'm sorry to clarify a few things.

466
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,639
Speaker 5: We're different races, but to my knowledge, his family plus

467
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:21,360
Speaker 5: extended is more than okay with it. His mother actually

468
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,600
Speaker 5: set us up more than okay with the relationship.

469
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:26,000
Speaker 4: Okay. I was like, what okay?

470
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,919
Speaker 5: I went to a dinner party and he and I

471
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,600
Speaker 5: were the only single people who had been invited, and

472
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:33,000
Speaker 5: we hit it off. She admitted to trying to set

473
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,320
Speaker 5: us up for months. We have had no issues with

474
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:38,520
Speaker 5: cheating or any situations where things could be sketchy during

475
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,040
Speaker 5: the years we have been together. We also haven't broken

476
00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:45,040
Speaker 5: up or taken any breaks. Our son is his mirror image.

477
00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:48,160
Speaker 5: My boyfriend confided to his cousin about the paternity test

478
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:50,280
Speaker 5: a couple of days after he asked me, and the

479
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:54,919
Speaker 5: cousin told his wife, and it's spread like wildfire, especially

480
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:57,280
Speaker 5: in their family group chats. His mom put an end

481
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,399
Speaker 5: to the speculation, though, by doing a half and a

482
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,920
Speaker 5: half pick of him and our son, but also by

483
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,919
Speaker 5: adding some additional individual picks of both of them. She

484
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,160
Speaker 5: posted the pictures in the family group chat and said,

485
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,160
Speaker 5: look at the old picks I found of mace. Then

486
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:13,200
Speaker 5: I mean good on the mom for being like, shut up, kid, yeah,

487
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,720
Speaker 5: shut up, you don't know what you're talking about. Right

488
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,399
Speaker 5: after people commented, she said, actually the one on the

489
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:22,119
Speaker 5: right is my grandchild, or this one isn't Mason. Literally,

490
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:24,399
Speaker 5: the family members just thought it was the same person

491
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,359
Speaker 5: in all of the picks, and that some of the

492
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:29,400
Speaker 5: photos were taken in darker lighting. That is how much

493
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:32,520
Speaker 5: our sun looks like him, Dan, which I find funny

494
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:34,600
Speaker 5: but also a little annoying, Like I carried you for

495
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:35,840
Speaker 5: nine months and all.

496
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,560
Speaker 4: You could be is a copy of your dad. Dude,

497
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:37,920
Speaker 4: for real.

498
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:40,160
Speaker 5: I didn't see the group chat, but the topic passed

499
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:44,960
Speaker 5: away when his mom did that. Anyway, we talked. When

500
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,879
Speaker 5: I had made the first post, I was so angry

501
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:51,240
Speaker 5: and planned to leave, but the anger was quickly replaced

502
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,040
Speaker 5: by hurt. Once I calmed down, I realized if I

503
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,680
Speaker 5: blindsided him like that, I would be doing the exact

504
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:58,600
Speaker 5: same thing that he did to me when he asked

505
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:01,560
Speaker 5: for a paternity test. No, you wouldn't, I think she's saying, like,

506
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:03,320
Speaker 5: if I told him that I don't want to be together,

507
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:04,600
Speaker 5: it would be the same as him.

508
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I didn't have a conversation about it first.

509
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:09,240
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, you should have a conversation, but it would

510
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:10,120
Speaker 5: not be the same thing.

511
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:12,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree, because you're doing it based off of

512
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:13,600
Speaker 3: something that.

513
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,760
Speaker 4: You saw him do, and he's doing it off of nothing. Nothing.

514
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:18,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, I plan to ask him to talk, but I

515
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,879
Speaker 5: also didn't want him to think I was trying to

516
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,479
Speaker 5: get out of the test. So beforehan, I booked an

517
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:26,840
Speaker 5: appointment at two different paternity test locations, I asked him

518
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:28,600
Speaker 5: to talk. When he came home and I made sure

519
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 5: our child was at my mom's. I told him that

520
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,800
Speaker 5: whatever happened with this talk, the paternity tests have been

521
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,240
Speaker 5: booked and would go forward. I basically asked him his

522
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:39,280
Speaker 5: reasoning and when he started having doubts about paternity.

523
00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:40,879
Speaker 4: Was it a previous relationship?

524
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:43,040
Speaker 5: Did cheating happen? He said it was about a week

525
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,439
Speaker 5: before he asked me that he started having doubts. And

526
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:49,399
Speaker 5: this is after the kid has been born. Yeah, so

527
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:52,439
Speaker 5: this is after he has proof that this kid looks

528
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:55,240
Speaker 5: exactly like him, right, But he's having doubts.

529
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:57,359
Speaker 3: It's not even like, oh, you got pregnant, but like

530
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:58,960
Speaker 3: we haven't had spicy sleep.

531
00:21:58,720 --> 00:21:59,320
Speaker 4: Or something like that.

532
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,680
Speaker 5: Like it's like he actually has more proof that the kid.

533
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:04,280
Speaker 4: Is his Yeah. Yeah.

534
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:06,479
Speaker 5: He said that he was on his lunch break one

535
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,120
Speaker 5: day just reading articles, and he clicked on an old

536
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:11,480
Speaker 5: article about a man who found out his three kids

537
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 5: weren't his after like twenty years. This led him into

538
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,720
Speaker 5: a rabbit hole of podcasters and YouTube videos that encouraged

539
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,840
Speaker 5: men to ask for paternity test. So he went down

540
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,280
Speaker 5: the little red pill rabbit hole.

541
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:26,760
Speaker 6: Imagine if one of those videos were hours Oh rab oh,

542
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:29,639
Speaker 6: I hope not. We're part of the red pill rabbit hole.

543
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,879
Speaker 5: Oh, because whenever people get paternity tests, were like, only

544
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:36,159
Speaker 5: do that if you have don't just yess, we discourage it.

545
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 5: So well, he thought those podcasters were He said that

546
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 5: paternity was an exception. He's like, they're stupid, but but you.

547
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:46,880
Speaker 4: Have a point, yeah, he said.

548
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:49,119
Speaker 5: His reasoning was that some women have done this before,

549
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,280
Speaker 5: and he wanted to be sure. He said, you know

550
00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:53,359
Speaker 5: it's yours because the baby comes out of you. But

551
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:55,080
Speaker 5: how do I know?

552
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, because yeah, literally because of photo evidence.

553
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:02,359
Speaker 5: The test gives me that assurance. I was hurt by that,

554
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,840
Speaker 5: but I decided to explain how I felt. I said

555
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:07,199
Speaker 5: that for him it was a rational request, while for

556
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:09,760
Speaker 5: me it was basically him saying that he didn't trust me.

557
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,040
Speaker 5: It was him saying that he believed I would cheat

558
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:15,200
Speaker 5: on him, get pregnant, have him emotionally, financially and physically

559
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,400
Speaker 5: support me during the pregnancy and birth, and basically lie

560
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,840
Speaker 5: to him while he raised another man's child. I told

561
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:23,119
Speaker 5: him that I understand that women had done this before,

562
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,520
Speaker 5: but the fact that he thought I would do this

563
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:28,080
Speaker 5: to him is what bothered me. I told him the

564
00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 5: truth that when I was angry, I had planned to leave,

565
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:33,520
Speaker 5: and that I even went looking into a lawyer and

566
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:36,760
Speaker 5: a co parenting plan and a new place to live.

567
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,639
Speaker 3: B Hope Art says, I know someone that got opportunity

568
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:41,000
Speaker 3: test because of your show.

569
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 5: But that's not red pill. That's providing people with information.

570
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:47,720
Speaker 3: What I'm thinking with this story, though, too, is that

571
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 3: we also have read a lot of stories where the

572
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:53,280
Speaker 3: dad wants a portunity test even though the wife didn't cheat,

573
00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:56,480
Speaker 3: and it's because he was cheating all along, so she

574
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,000
Speaker 3: should throw that back at him.

575
00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:02,400
Speaker 5: He was stunned that I would leave for something so small. Crazy, crazy.

576
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,720
Speaker 5: You just accused your wife of cheating on you. Yeah,

577
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:08,119
Speaker 5: you just accused your wife of cheating on you.

578
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:09,639
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's enough for me.

579
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:12,440
Speaker 5: Honestly, I found that to be a weird kind of

580
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:15,840
Speaker 5: irony that he believed issuing an ultimatum about a paternity

581
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:20,159
Speaker 5: test and basically accusing your partner of cheating was something small.

582
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,439
Speaker 5: I told him I was really hurt by what he said,

583
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,480
Speaker 5: that I was still hurt, but that if he needs

584
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 5: this peace of mind, that we would do it. He asked,

585
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:29,040
Speaker 5: what about a relationship, and I told him.

586
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:29,720
Speaker 4: I didn't know.

587
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,840
Speaker 5: We did the test two days later, got the results

588
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 5: back after three days. He opened both of them, and

589
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 5: to the surprise of.

590
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:38,000
Speaker 4: No one, he's the dead jaw.

591
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,520
Speaker 5: He was visibly relieved when he read the tests. And

592
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:43,160
Speaker 5: I don't know why that hurt me more. Yeah, because

593
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:45,760
Speaker 5: a part of him thought that you cheated on him. Yeah,

594
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 5: a part of him watched all of these YouTube videos

595
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:51,000
Speaker 5: and believed that you cheated on him.

596
00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:51,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly.

597
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,840
Speaker 3: And it's not even just that he was like scared

598
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:55,639
Speaker 3: that you were cheating on him, because, like, you know,

599
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:58,399
Speaker 3: it's valid. It's like I would lose a lot of

600
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:01,880
Speaker 3: trust if someone accused me of cheating and I never did,

601
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:03,800
Speaker 3: you know, But at the same time, if you genuinely

602
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:06,040
Speaker 3: are scared of that. I don't want to be like, oh,

603
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 3: you can never ask because then I leave you even like,

604
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:09,480
Speaker 3: because then.

605
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:10,359
Speaker 4: What if I did cheat?

606
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 3: You know what I mean, and then you just never

607
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:14,200
Speaker 3: asked because I made that threat, not saying that that's

608
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:15,040
Speaker 3: what happened.

609
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:17,640
Speaker 4: I'm not cheating, but like, okay, I feel like I'm

610
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:18,240
Speaker 4: going down.

611
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 5: I wasn't sure where that was going.

612
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:22,640
Speaker 3: No, but I don't want it to be like, oh,

613
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:25,520
Speaker 3: if you ever asked that I'm cheating, if you're ever

614
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:28,560
Speaker 3: even scared about that, whether there's evidence or not. I

615
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:30,879
Speaker 3: don't want to be like I'm ending the relationship because

616
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:32,359
Speaker 3: what if someone says that to me and I do

617
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 3: think that they're cheating, and.

618
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:36,440
Speaker 4: Now I can't talk about it because it's going to end.

619
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,640
Speaker 5: The thing is that I think that if you accuse

620
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:41,919
Speaker 5: someone of cheating, yeah, and regardless of whether or not

621
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:44,960
Speaker 5: you have proof, yeah, there are consequences to that. Yeah,

622
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 5: and you might be right. It's the same thing of

623
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:50,640
Speaker 5: like looking through someone's phone right now, right, you might

624
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:54,160
Speaker 5: be right. You might stumble across the right answer even

625
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 5: if you don't have proofer you know, and figure out

626
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,479
Speaker 5: that they are cheating. But if you're wrong, you have

627
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:03,240
Speaker 5: bro the relationship, right, You've broken a fundamental part of

628
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:06,560
Speaker 5: the relationship. It's been about two weeks since the results

629
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:09,760
Speaker 5: and I'm still really hurt. God, I sound so pathetic.

630
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:12,920
Speaker 5: I feel pathetic. I thought the results would maybe relieve

631
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,200
Speaker 5: some of that, but it didn't. It's like a switch

632
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,119
Speaker 5: click t when he asks for the test and I

633
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:19,119
Speaker 5: can't find a way to click it off. I'm pretty

634
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:21,280
Speaker 5: sure postpartum is playing a part in this, because all

635
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 5: I do is cry, and I wasn't like this before.

636
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 5: I have also moved into the spare room, something he

637
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 5: was against, but I felt bad because, apart from when

638
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 5: our son is awake, I'm sad all the time. I'm

639
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:32,520
Speaker 5: looking for a therapist. I don't know how people find

640
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 5: the therapists they like so quickly.

641
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:35,320
Speaker 4: By the way, and he wants.

642
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:37,399
Speaker 5: To do couples therapy, and he's looking for one. He

643
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:40,160
Speaker 5: already has a few appointments booked just to try them out.

644
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:43,200
Speaker 5: He wants to move on, of course, he does marriage

645
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,080
Speaker 5: more kids in the future and go back to where

646
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:47,440
Speaker 5: we are, and thinks that our relationship is now stronger.

647
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 5: In what way is it stronger? Is he gonna do

648
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:53,359
Speaker 5: this every time you have a kid. Yeah, right, Well,

649
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:56,320
Speaker 5: I'm just thinking our relationship right now is weaker than

650
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:57,520
Speaker 5: a person on stilts.

651
00:26:57,800 --> 00:26:59,359
Speaker 4: I don't know if I would say we're together.

652
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:03,000
Speaker 5: The physical affection is gone. I'm not in the right mindset,

653
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 5: and I don't want him to touch me. We rarely

654
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:08,240
Speaker 5: talk about anything but the baby. It's awkward and I'm

655
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:10,160
Speaker 5: trying to find a way back to where we were

656
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 5: and I can't see how I'm going to try to

657
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:15,639
Speaker 5: fix this and try therapy individual and couples, but I

658
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:18,800
Speaker 5: just have this feeling that this is basically a sinking ship.

659
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:22,800
Speaker 5: I hope I'm wrong. I want very much to be wrong.

660
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:23,600
Speaker 4: Edit.

661
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:26,119
Speaker 5: I know some people are worried, but I have a

662
00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 5: contingency plan in place. I have a lawyer, I've gotten

663
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,719
Speaker 5: a childcare custody plan worked up. During these two weeks.

664
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:34,240
Speaker 5: I've told my family, who are mostly close by. I

665
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:36,240
Speaker 5: have a rental property I own and can go to.

666
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,879
Speaker 5: Our finances are separate, so I'm good there. I know

667
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,120
Speaker 5: myself and i know I'm not in the right headspace

668
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:44,200
Speaker 5: right now. I'm staying in the spare room. There's no affection.

669
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:48,160
Speaker 5: Therapy individual or couples will hopefully help me and we'll

670
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,680
Speaker 5: hopefully reaffirm that I had the right idea in the beginning.

671
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 5: It's not as easy to move when there's a child,

672
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:55,960
Speaker 5: So I'm making sure that I'm mentally well, our child

673
00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 5: is good, and then I'll make a decision. Thank you, though,

674
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 5: for all your kindness and perspective, and folks, there is

675
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 5: a second update if you didn't already see it, finish

676
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:08,840
Speaker 5: this story off. I don't think this relationship is salvagible. Yeah,

677
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,639
Speaker 5: because he's so cavalier about it. Yeah, he's like, yeah,

678
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:14,439
Speaker 5: I got the chest, now we're good, right right, Like

679
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:16,240
Speaker 5: he's not what are you upset about?

680
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:17,360
Speaker 4: Yeah? Exactly.

681
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 3: Like I feel like if she wanted to work on things, Yeah,

682
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:22,719
Speaker 3: I could see them working through this, and I can

683
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:25,720
Speaker 3: see them maybe talking about it and it being like, hey,

684
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 3: talk to me more. You gotta like trust me more

685
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 3: with this stuff, Like why don't you trust me?

686
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:32,640
Speaker 4: Are there anything else? Is there anything else I've done?

687
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 3: You know that could happen, But it definitely would be

688
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 3: unfair because he didn't offer her that.

689
00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:39,040
Speaker 4: I's just been.

690
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:42,920
Speaker 5: Every step of the way he has operated on a

691
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:46,800
Speaker 5: like first thing that comes to my mind, I do yeah,

692
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 5: Like this is so impulsive yeah, exactly, because and.

693
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:52,960
Speaker 3: Then that's so stressful of being accused of that, especially

694
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,760
Speaker 3: right after you had a kid, right, and that's just

695
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 3: so stressful and unpredictable for yourself.

696
00:28:58,200 --> 00:28:58,440
Speaker 4: Yeah.

697
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:01,240
Speaker 5: I think he literally went a paternity test and she

698
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:04,000
Speaker 5: said what why? He said, I saw a YouTube video

699
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 5: and then she said, uh, okay, fine, gets a paternity test.

700
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 4: And he's like, okay, got the proof. We're good now. Yeah.

701
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:15,200
Speaker 5: No, it's not like I'm so sorry for not trusting you, Right,

702
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:17,600
Speaker 5: I had all these horrible doubts, and like, let's go

703
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:20,240
Speaker 5: to therapy, let's work on this, right, you know, like

704
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:23,959
Speaker 5: I want to earn back your trust. None of that happened. Yeah,

705
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:27,240
Speaker 5: things have gone downhill, and under advisement, I can't really

706
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:30,880
Speaker 5: discuss it until things have been settled in court. Ooh yeah,

707
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,360
Speaker 5: I mean like having a kid makes it difficult for sure.

708
00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:35,920
Speaker 4: I guess I'm really a cautionary tale.

709
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:39,120
Speaker 5: On what can go wrong. Please, if you have concerns

710
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:43,160
Speaker 5: with your partner, discuss things beforehand, especially before you have

711
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:46,640
Speaker 5: a child. Thank you again for your different perspectives. Hoping

712
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 5: to have everything settled eventually.

713
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to the stories.

714
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:52,960
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes bads from our sponsors.

715
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 3: My boyfriend's dog is disgusting and he's not doing anything

716
00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:00,960
Speaker 3: about it. Wash your dog. I twenty eight female. I

717
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,880
Speaker 3: have been with my boyfriend twenty eight male for four years.

718
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:06,400
Speaker 3: He got a boxer dog about a month into our relationship.

719
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 3: He is a very sweet and obedient dog, but my

720
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,320
Speaker 3: boyfriend doesn't take care of him very well. He's not neutered,

721
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 3: he doesn't get any flea and tick medications, he doesn't

722
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:17,160
Speaker 3: get worming tablets, he does not go to the vets,

723
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:20,080
Speaker 3: and I highly doubt he gets his vaccines. He also

724
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:23,760
Speaker 3: gets cheap supermarket food that gives him a runny poo ewww.

725
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,480
Speaker 3: And don't you like have to get that stuff though

726
00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:28,600
Speaker 3: you gotta get your shots and stuff.

727
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:29,160
Speaker 4: Yeah.

728
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:32,160
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Tomato twenty three ninety seven.

729
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:33,720
Speaker 3: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

730
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:36,080
Speaker 3: to the hour slash Okay story time separate it. So, I,

731
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:37,840
Speaker 3: on the other hand, don't have a dog, but I

732
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:40,240
Speaker 3: did grow up with the little Maltese family dog who

733
00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:43,120
Speaker 3: was very spoilt by my family. All his monthly worming

734
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 3: and flea and take medications were always up to date.

735
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 3: I showered him every week, brushed him every night, et cetera,

736
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:50,200
Speaker 3: et cetera. My partner does not take his dog on

737
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 3: daily walks and swims out of nearby lake every single day, rain,

738
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,920
Speaker 3: hail or shine, just so he gets his needed exercise.

739
00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:59,480
Speaker 3: He's also very well trained, and my partner loves teaching

740
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 3: him new to keep his brain going. Overall, I don't

741
00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:04,680
Speaker 3: think my partner has any ill intent. He loves his

742
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 3: dog immensely. I feel that he just doesn't realize that

743
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 3: you have to do more than taking him on daily walks.

744
00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:12,480
Speaker 5: That he shouldn't have a dog, genuinely. If you don't

745
00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:15,160
Speaker 5: know what goes into taking care of a dog, shouldn't

746
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:18,680
Speaker 5: have a dog. Yeah, like any sort of pet care.

747
00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 5: If you don't know, like everything that's entailed into taking

748
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:23,560
Speaker 5: care of pet, you should not have a pet.

749
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:26,040
Speaker 4: Yeah. I think it's like, point blank period hygiene and

750
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:26,560
Speaker 4: health wise.

751
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,160
Speaker 3: My partner treats his dog the complete opposite of how

752
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 3: I think a dog should be taken care of, and

753
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:33,080
Speaker 3: I don't know how to get him to change his ways.

754
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:35,400
Speaker 3: I've told him numerous times to get him neutered, and

755
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:38,960
Speaker 3: it's a legal requirement, but he freaks out and says, no,

756
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:39,400
Speaker 3: I'm not.

757
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:40,520
Speaker 4: Cutting his wheed er off.

758
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:43,000
Speaker 3: I've tried and tried to tell him that he needs

759
00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:45,920
Speaker 3: to be having his medications, but he is insistent that

760
00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 3: the best way to prevent flees and takes is by

761
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 3: taking him swimming at the beach. My biggest hate is

762
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:53,000
Speaker 3: the fact that he never even bathes the dog. He

763
00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:55,440
Speaker 3: thinks that him swimming in the lake washes away all

764
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 3: his dirtiness, but it really doesn't. He absolutely smells foul,

765
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,600
Speaker 3: no exaggeration. He smells like a farm animal.

766
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:03,320
Speaker 2: I feel like it's just too bad.

767
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 4: It's pretty bad. I feel like taking him in the

768
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:07,600
Speaker 4: lake is like reason to washed it.

769
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:09,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, like he would want to wash off the lake water.

770
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:13,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, to make it worse. He lets him sleep on

771
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:18,360
Speaker 4: his own bed. Oh, we don't.

772
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:20,000
Speaker 3: Live together, but I do go over and stay the

773
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,560
Speaker 3: night sometimes, and his room and sheets just smell like

774
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 3: a farm like a dirty dog.

775
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:27,680
Speaker 5: I literally wouldn't stay over, Yeah, I couldn't. So I

776
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:31,200
Speaker 5: doubt this man washes his sheets consistently. Yeah, so he

777
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:31,960
Speaker 5: treats his dog.

778
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:34,000
Speaker 4: He's like, it's fine, I don't need to do that.

779
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,200
Speaker 3: It makes my skin crawl and I can't go to

780
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 3: sleep because I'm so grossed out, and and it's.

781
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:41,800
Speaker 4: My partner is otherwise a pretty clean person. His place

782
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:45,040
Speaker 4: is always clean and tidy. He showers twice a day.

783
00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:47,480
Speaker 3: He washes his sheets twice a month, but as the

784
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 3: dog sleeps on it every night, I find it starts

785
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:51,960
Speaker 3: smelling soon after it's washed.

786
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:55,480
Speaker 4: Okay, so he does wash his sheets, yeah, but only

787
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 4: twice a month.

788
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 5: It's a month.

789
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 3: It's not awful, it's not awful, but with the dog

790
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:01,240
Speaker 3: it's pretty bad.

791
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:01,560
Speaker 5: Yeah.

792
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 3: I feel like, normally, if you are just sleeping in

793
00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:06,880
Speaker 3: your sheets, yeah, and you're generally clean, I feel like

794
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:08,240
Speaker 3: twice a month isn't that bad.

795
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:10,760
Speaker 5: It should be closed to three to four times a month.

796
00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 5: You know, twice a month is fine, but with the

797
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 5: novice you should probably do it faster.

798
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:15,680
Speaker 4: Yeah.

799
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:17,719
Speaker 3: I guess it's similar to how people can't smell their

800
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 3: own houses because they're just used to the smell. I

801
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:22,360
Speaker 3: fear my boyfriend doesn't realize his room reeks either.

802
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:24,920
Speaker 4: Girl tell him, yeah, And with him.

803
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 3: Not knowing any different and seemingly set in his own ways,

804
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 3: it feels.

805
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:28,920
Speaker 4: Like a losing battle.

806
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:30,800
Speaker 3: The dog is not allowed to come to my apartment,

807
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:33,280
Speaker 3: but my boyfriend doesn't know that it's because of how

808
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 3: grossy is that I don't want him over. It might

809
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:37,720
Speaker 3: be an ignorant way of thinking, but I fear that,

810
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:40,800
Speaker 3: as he's not medicated against fleas, takes, warms, et cetera,

811
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:43,200
Speaker 3: that he will end up bringing it to my carpet

812
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 3: and furniture.

813
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:45,880
Speaker 4: I'm itchy just thinking about it.

814
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 3: My partner thinks his dog is not allowed over solely

815
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:50,600
Speaker 3: because it's a small apartment and he doesn't have enough

816
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 3: room to run around. Partially true, Trust me when I

817
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:55,880
Speaker 3: say I've tried endlessly over the years to get him

818
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 3: to change his ways, but it feels like a losing battle,

819
00:33:58,120 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 3: to the point where I just don't see the point

820
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:02,840
Speaker 3: in trying anymore. He will either go off of me

821
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,600
Speaker 3: or act like I'm being mean to him. I also

822
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 3: think that because we don't live together and it's technically

823
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,520
Speaker 3: his dog, he feels like I don't have a right

824
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:12,480
Speaker 3: to be telling him how to treat him. We're now

825
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:14,719
Speaker 3: starting to talk about getting an apartment together, and I

826
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:17,280
Speaker 3: just can't imagine living with his dog in his current state.

827
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,759
Speaker 3: I feel guilty for not even wanting to pat the dog,

828
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:23,240
Speaker 3: because he is really is so sweet, but he's just dirty.

829
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:25,480
Speaker 3: I also don't know how to get my partner to

830
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:27,600
Speaker 3: realize how a crap of an owner he is.

831
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:28,640
Speaker 4: How do I open a.

832
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 3: Conversation up with him without getting him upset or going

833
00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:34,560
Speaker 3: off of me, and to actually take me seriously. I

834
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:36,839
Speaker 3: don't expect him to choose between me or the dog.

835
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,320
Speaker 3: I just want him to actually care for him, properly

836
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,919
Speaker 3: look after him without me having to do it all.

837
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:44,719
Speaker 3: And there's a bit of an editor Thank you for

838
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:47,880
Speaker 3: all your comments. I'm glad to see him not being dramatic,

839
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:50,239
Speaker 3: and most of you are right in saying I don't

840
00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:52,279
Speaker 3: hate the dog. As I said earlier, he is the

841
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:54,919
Speaker 3: sweetest thing. I just wouldn't go out of my way

842
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,279
Speaker 3: to pat or snuggle with him, which is how I

843
00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:59,879
Speaker 3: grew up showing love to my family dog. I do

844
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:02,200
Speaker 3: that I really should be doing more to stop the neglect.

845
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 3: I just feel so powerless in this situation. Well, I've

846
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 3: been a part of the dog's life his whole life.

847
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 3: I feel like my partner has never really seen me

848
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:12,200
Speaker 3: as his owner, therefore doesn't think I have any say

849
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 3: in how he should be treated. And there are some comments,

850
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 3: but yeah, she's already tried. I mean, what else is

851
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:19,160
Speaker 3: there for her to do?

852
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:22,319
Speaker 5: It doesn't feel like she has had like a full

853
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:25,959
Speaker 5: on conversation because she's asking, how do I start that conversation? Yeah,

854
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:31,040
Speaker 5: so I feel that full on conversation. Yeah, hasn't happened

855
00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:31,839
Speaker 5: quite yet.

856
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:34,600
Speaker 3: I think we need more details because she says that

857
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:37,480
Speaker 3: she has tried endlessly over the years, but she didn't

858
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:38,320
Speaker 3: really like say.

859
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:39,360
Speaker 4: What she was what she tried.

860
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:41,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and then she also mentioned like without me

861
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 3: just doing it and taking care of it myself, Like

862
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:46,879
Speaker 3: I'm guessing filling in the blanks. It could be wrong,

863
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 3: but maybe she like would give up and just try

864
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:52,160
Speaker 3: to clean him like herself.

865
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:55,120
Speaker 4: But then it's like, okay, but it's I shouldn't be

866
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,319
Speaker 4: the one having to do this. I you just.

867
00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:59,880
Speaker 5: Literally say, hey, like let's sit down and talk about this.

868
00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:02,920
Speaker 5: I'm sure you've had outher hard conversations with your partner

869
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:06,040
Speaker 5: because it's what relationships are about. Sure, you sit him

870
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:08,880
Speaker 5: down and you say, hey, I grew up having dogs.

871
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:10,720
Speaker 5: You know, I know how to take care of dogs.

872
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:12,560
Speaker 5: There are kind of a couple things that you need

873
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:15,839
Speaker 5: to do, yeah, as a dog owner, and that includes this,

874
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 5: this and this yeah, and it.

875
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:19,440
Speaker 4: You know, it's a little bit concerning that.

876
00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:21,319
Speaker 5: I haven't seen you do that with your dog, and

877
00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:23,480
Speaker 5: I really love your dog, but it's not good for

878
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 5: him to not be clean and not have shots and yeah,

879
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 5: kind of go through all of that stuff and maybe

880
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 5: show him research about this.

881
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, and like what you're supposed to do. Yeah, yeah,

882
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:34,000
Speaker 4: there are some comments.

883
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 3: Comment number one says, if your boyfriend made it to

884
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:38,359
Speaker 3: the age of twenty eight believing getting a male dog

885
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:41,200
Speaker 3: new nerd means cutting his wiener off, I fear there

886
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:42,560
Speaker 3: are bigger issues at play here.

887
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:43,040
Speaker 4: Yeah.

888
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:46,920
Speaker 3: I agree, his dog absolutely deserves better. However, I disagree

889
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:49,960
Speaker 3: with your titling here. Your boyfriend's dog is assuming what

890
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 3: you've written is true neglected, and that neglect is causing

891
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:56,120
Speaker 3: the dog to experience things you find disgusting. The dog

892
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 3: can't take himself to the vet, or buy different food,

893
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 3: or bathe himself. That is a boyfriend problem, not a

894
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:04,560
Speaker 3: dog problem. Someone else responds that the dog isn't disgusting

895
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:05,759
Speaker 3: your boyfriend is okay.

896
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:07,840
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't think that's like a huge deal,

897
00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:08,760
Speaker 4: but sure.

898
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:10,640
Speaker 3: Coming Number two says, I don't know what your long

899
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:13,000
Speaker 3: term plan is here, but I for sure could live

900
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:15,080
Speaker 3: with or raise a family with someone who doesn't see

901
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:18,839
Speaker 3: the value in basic hygiene for their pet and, by extension, themselves.

902
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:21,399
Speaker 3: Really think about what this looks like in five years

903
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 3: before you move in together or really even spend more

904
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:25,880
Speaker 3: time with him. You deserve to find someone who matches

905
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:28,319
Speaker 3: your energy and treats you and their pets well.

906
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 4: And there is an update.

907
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:32,360
Speaker 3: But yeah, I think those comments are pretty I agree,

908
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:35,520
Speaker 3: pretty good. It's concerning, very concerning. Is he just gonna

909
00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:39,040
Speaker 3: throw your kid in the lake he went into water?

910
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:42,000
Speaker 3: He just puts him outside during when it rains. Yeah, yeah, literally,

911
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:46,120
Speaker 3: free shower, Yeah, free shower our water billshot.

912
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:48,200
Speaker 4: But there is an update.

913
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:50,320
Speaker 3: So I sat down with my boyfriend this morning to

914
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,640
Speaker 3: open up about the issues I've been having regarding his

915
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:55,560
Speaker 3: neglect towards his dog. Yeah, he became a quite defensive

916
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:57,719
Speaker 3: and adamant that he was not neglecting his dog.

917
00:37:58,040 --> 00:37:59,680
Speaker 4: I even threatened to break up with him if he

918
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:00,440
Speaker 4: didn't change.

919
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:03,480
Speaker 3: He brushed off a lot of my points, saying I'm overreacting,

920
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:05,799
Speaker 3: blah blah blah blah. So I took the easiest way

921
00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:08,560
Speaker 3: out and just showed him this Reddit post itself not

922
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:10,479
Speaker 3: sure what went through my head, but I wasn't sure

923
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:12,960
Speaker 3: what else is say. He surprisingly went through all four

924
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:16,560
Speaker 3: hundred plus comments, apparently having four hundred plus people call

925
00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:18,719
Speaker 3: him out and say the exact same things that I've

926
00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:21,080
Speaker 3: been saying, seems to have gotten the message across to

927
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 3: him good.

928
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:24,759
Speaker 6: I think usually comments would make me change my mind

929
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:27,120
Speaker 6: about a few things, but I've had hundreds of thousands

930
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:29,360
Speaker 6: of comments at this point. Yeah, I think you'll bother me.

931
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:32,479
Speaker 3: I think you have more comments than just one Reddit post,

932
00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:35,760
Speaker 3: so yeah, exactly. I think his ego is very bruised

933
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:38,040
Speaker 3: that I've been right all along, and I'm sure he's

934
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:41,480
Speaker 3: also very embarrassed. But things are looking somewhat promising. We've

935
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:43,799
Speaker 3: gone to the pet shop this afternoon after work and

936
00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:47,240
Speaker 3: purchased some dog shampoo, dog wipes, and some pet cologne,

937
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:48,040
Speaker 3: and he's given the.

938
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:49,759
Speaker 4: Dog a big bath this day.

939
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:53,200
Speaker 3: Sheets have been washed, and the dog now has a

940
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,560
Speaker 3: few special blankets to lie on when he's on the bed,

941
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 3: which we've agreed to change every other day. I'm sure

942
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:00,440
Speaker 3: if this will do anything, but it's better than nothing,

943
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 3: And yeah, there's a little bit more to the story.

944
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 5: Games much better than nothing. Yeah, I guess he hasn't

945
00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:08,399
Speaker 5: done all the shots and all the like neutering and such.

946
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:11,080
Speaker 4: Sure, but we've washed the dog. And that's a step.

947
00:39:11,239 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 3: That's a big step on a stag steps, never washing

948
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:16,160
Speaker 3: the dog and taking him to the lake every day.

949
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:19,400
Speaker 5: I've pet a dog that was really like really sweet,

950
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,200
Speaker 5: but really really stinky. Yeah, And it's so sad because

951
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:24,640
Speaker 5: I love petting dog and this was a type of

952
00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:27,160
Speaker 5: dog like type of stinking that you like, touch him, yeah,

953
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:31,280
Speaker 5: and your hand just smell and you're like I can't.

954
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 5: And the dog is so friendly and you're like, no,

955
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:36,440
Speaker 5: don't touch I love you.

956
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:39,000
Speaker 3: But he was so stinky, yeah, Because it's like it's

957
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 3: one thing for the dog to be like dirty because

958
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:43,800
Speaker 3: of little just dirty, yeah, but it's another thing to have.

959
00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:46,480
Speaker 5: Like dinky like lake water on you.

960
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:49,440
Speaker 3: It's like that is already stinky in itself, but then

961
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:53,239
Speaker 3: when it sits dude, not gonna be good. He's done

962
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:56,400
Speaker 3: some research on worming and flea preventation and all the

963
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:58,640
Speaker 3: different kinds out there. We have plans to go to

964
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:01,040
Speaker 3: the pet shop this week to buy whatever worming slash

965
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:03,040
Speaker 3: flea medications he decides to give him.

966
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:03,879
Speaker 4: I have agreed to.

967
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 3: Pay half for a higher end dog food for the dog,

968
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 3: which I'm happy to do as if it means no

969
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:11,720
Speaker 3: more running poos. He's also been researching about the benefits

970
00:40:11,719 --> 00:40:13,759
Speaker 3: of pet neutering, and I think he has realized that

971
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:16,120
Speaker 3: it does not, in fact mean cutting off his wiener.

972
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:19,200
Speaker 3: I was wrong in my original post, as apparently it's

973
00:40:19,239 --> 00:40:22,120
Speaker 3: not a legal requirement in our area to get pets neutered.

974
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:23,759
Speaker 3: I'm not sure if he will go through with it

975
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:26,360
Speaker 3: or not, but at least he's a bit more informed

976
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:28,880
Speaker 3: in making that decision. Overall, I think things are looking

977
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:32,200
Speaker 3: somewhat promising and appropriate changes are starting to be made.

978
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 3: I'm sure that I'll have to remind him about bathing,

979
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:37,320
Speaker 3: the dog, medications, et cetera over the next few months,

980
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:40,080
Speaker 3: but I have my fingers crossed that he will learn eventually.

981
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:41,880
Speaker 4: We're taken baby steps.

982
00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:44,960
Speaker 5: I told my boyfriend I won't leave him to go abroad,

983
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:47,600
Speaker 5: but now I changed my mind.

984
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:50,480
Speaker 4: Broad's am I right?

985
00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:50,319
Speaker 7: Right?

986
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:55,359
Speaker 5: I've been female twenty two with my boyfriend twenty one

987
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:58,200
Speaker 5: male for nine months together. Now we've met in Uni.

988
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:01,640
Speaker 5: He's want you're younger. I studied hard for two years

989
00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:04,640
Speaker 5: for an opportunity to go abroad on an exchange program

990
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:08,000
Speaker 5: of two years. Boyfriend came in during the last eight months.

991
00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:10,640
Speaker 5: After applying for it and getting it in March, I

992
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 5: suddenly became full of dread for many reasons. By the way,

993
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:17,799
Speaker 5: this comes from throwa eight two seven three eight eight

994
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:20,080
Speaker 5: three eight and if you want to smit your own stories,

995
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:22,280
Speaker 5: go to the r slash okay story time severed it.

996
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:23,640
Speaker 4: It felt so scary.

997
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:26,520
Speaker 5: I didn't realize how much of a big move moving

998
00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:29,800
Speaker 5: abroad was until I got it. Even if I worked

999
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:32,480
Speaker 5: for it for ages, the program didn't align with what

1000
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:34,920
Speaker 5: I had in mind, and I didn't realize until it

1001
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:37,439
Speaker 5: was too late to back out. It hurts so much

1002
00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:39,920
Speaker 5: to think of leaving my boyfriend behind, even if this

1003
00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:42,760
Speaker 5: is a great opportunity to improve my quality of life

1004
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:45,600
Speaker 5: by emigrating to a first world country. My boyfriend during

1005
00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:48,560
Speaker 5: this whole process was supportive and told me he didn't

1006
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,200
Speaker 5: want to say anything that would get in the way

1007
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:53,319
Speaker 5: of what I wanted, and I was so dreadful. I

1008
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:56,239
Speaker 5: just told him straight up I wasn't interested anymore, and

1009
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:58,120
Speaker 5: it was true. I would just let the process go

1010
00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 5: down on its own. This hall happened up to me.

1011
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:02,680
Speaker 5: I told him I didn't want to go anymore, and

1012
00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:04,680
Speaker 5: I made sure to tell him why. Flash forward to

1013
00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:07,479
Speaker 5: two days ago. I started asking some people that joined

1014
00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:10,960
Speaker 5: this exchange program, and they all recommended it and soothed

1015
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:13,920
Speaker 5: my fears. The program wasn't that difficult, and it did

1016
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:16,839
Speaker 5: align with some of my expectations, and I suddenly became

1017
00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:19,840
Speaker 5: a lot interested and less paralyzed by the fear of

1018
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:23,480
Speaker 5: the unknown great stuff. I changed my mind, and I

1019
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:25,959
Speaker 5: realized I would have to tell my boyfriend I would

1020
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 5: be going through with it since I was going to

1021
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:31,200
Speaker 5: go abroad in exactly two months. I don't know how

1022
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:33,160
Speaker 5: to tell him. I feel like I've betrayed him in

1023
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 5: a sort of way, but I genuinely wasn't interested until

1024
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:39,280
Speaker 5: I asked about and I cleared my doubts about this program.

1025
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:41,880
Speaker 5: I feel like I'm stabbing in the back by suddenly

1026
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,000
Speaker 5: changing my mind, But I swear I didn't want to

1027
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:45,360
Speaker 5: go until suddenly I did.

1028
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:47,239
Speaker 4: That's how it goes, though.

1029
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:49,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, I know that wanting to stay just because I

1030
00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 5: didn't want to leave him behind is already stupid, and

1031
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:55,600
Speaker 5: that I should always think of my future first and foremost.

1032
00:42:55,719 --> 00:42:58,520
Speaker 5: But I love him so much, And I feel like

1033
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:00,560
Speaker 5: crying every time I think of him and of how

1034
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:03,120
Speaker 5: much I love him. You haven't even left yet, and

1035
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:06,719
Speaker 5: how and how he completes me and truly gets me.

1036
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:09,840
Speaker 5: After a string of awful relationships, my self esteem is

1037
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:13,080
Speaker 5: already so wrecked, but he healed me just by being him.

1038
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:16,080
Speaker 5: I just get sent into another crying fit just thinking

1039
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:19,479
Speaker 5: of leaving him behind. Girl, it's gonna be like two

1040
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:22,239
Speaker 5: much like you know, maybe four months back, But this

1041
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:26,479
Speaker 5: is it's a semester college, right, Everything's so important, really

1042
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:27,560
Speaker 5: is Yeah?

1043
00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:31,600
Speaker 7: It really is like you're twenty something, yeah, or I

1044
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:33,600
Speaker 7: guess she's a senior, but still your early.

1045
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:37,440
Speaker 5: Everything is so Yeah, life or death is all of

1046
00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:40,319
Speaker 5: the time. Truly, it feels like I'm abandoning him, and

1047
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:42,120
Speaker 5: I don't even know how to break the news to him.

1048
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:45,720
Speaker 5: I know we might break up because of the long distance,

1049
00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 5: even if I'm willing anything for us to stay together.

1050
00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:50,440
Speaker 5: I just love him so much. If you break up

1051
00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:54,640
Speaker 5: because you're going abroad for US semester, it maybe wasn't

1052
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 5: the one, you know. Yeah, I feel like abroad for

1053
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:04,040
Speaker 5: US semester that I meant to try all the cuisines

1054
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:05,680
Speaker 5: out there, The cuisines.

1055
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:07,239
Speaker 6: Yeah, you got to see. You know, how they make

1056
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:09,920
Speaker 6: their sausages out there, how they count their meat, how

1057
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:11,920
Speaker 6: they you know, bake things.

1058
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:13,480
Speaker 4: Thanks, Riley. How they bake things?

1059
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:15,320
Speaker 6: Yeah, they bake things different.

1060
00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:17,880
Speaker 5: I don't even have the heart to start any official

1061
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:21,000
Speaker 5: visa procedure yet because I'm waiting to properly tell him first.

1062
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:23,120
Speaker 5: But how can I tell him without it feeling like

1063
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 5: I'm the most vile person on earth for changing my

1064
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 5: mind so suddenly?

1065
00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:27,400
Speaker 4: Girl?

1066
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:30,120
Speaker 5: How to make it the least painful possible for him?

1067
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:33,960
Speaker 5: I'm already grieving losing him. She's already grieving losing him.

1068
00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:36,720
Speaker 5: I don't want to hurt him more. Any advice is welcome,

1069
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,319
Speaker 5: and there are some comments. We'll get into them. Hey,

1070
00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:42,480
Speaker 5: I really feel for you reading this. It's obvious how

1071
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:44,719
Speaker 5: deeply you care about him, and that kind of love

1072
00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:46,919
Speaker 5: is rare. But I'm gonna be honest with you because

1073
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:50,160
Speaker 5: I've been in your shoes. You have to go, not

1074
00:44:50,239 --> 00:44:53,760
Speaker 5: because you don't love him, but because you love yourself. Amen,

1075
00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:56,440
Speaker 5: And right now, this chapter of your life needs to

1076
00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:59,520
Speaker 5: be about you. You spent two years working towards this

1077
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:03,360
Speaker 5: opportunity that wasn't random, that wasn't a phase. It meant something.

1078
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:06,200
Speaker 5: And yes, it's scary to actually step into what you

1079
00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:09,000
Speaker 5: once dreamed about. It's okay that fear crept in. It's

1080
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:12,200
Speaker 5: okay that you started questioning everything once the moment got real.

1081
00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:14,719
Speaker 5: That doesn't make you weak, It makes you human. The

1082
00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 5: fact that you're reevaluating now after asking questions and getting

1083
00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:21,400
Speaker 5: new clarity, it shows strength. You're not flip flopping, You're growing,

1084
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:24,839
Speaker 5: You're getting honest with yourself. That's what maturity looks like.

1085
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:27,480
Speaker 5: So be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up

1086
00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:29,799
Speaker 5: so much about how you've handled the situation with him.

1087
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:31,720
Speaker 5: This is the part of your life where you're supposed

1088
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:34,399
Speaker 5: to be selfish, not in a cold or careless way,

1089
00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:36,719
Speaker 5: but in the deeply necessary way that lets you.

1090
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:37,959
Speaker 4: Find out who you are.

1091
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:43,880
Speaker 5: You're twenty two. This is your window to stretch, evolve, stumble,

1092
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:44,879
Speaker 5: and transform.

1093
00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:47,560
Speaker 4: I've lived abroad for the last four years.

1094
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 5: It changed me in ways I never could imagined.

1095
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, this commenter is like, I.

1096
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:53,680
Speaker 5: Want this strids abroad.

1097
00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 4: I went to Paris for semester. Can I say something?

1098
00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:00,439
Speaker 7: This commentar's doing great, though, I'm like, I don't even

1099
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:01,080
Speaker 7: need to be here.

1100
00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:02,920
Speaker 4: No hand.

1101
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:05,719
Speaker 7: Yeah, I do want to know how they changed a

1102
00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:07,920
Speaker 7: broad Yeah. I'm like, there's a little part of me that's.

1103
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:12,080
Speaker 5: Like, ooh, okayed, what happened? I became a different person,

1104
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:16,360
Speaker 5: a better person me two point zero because I stepped

1105
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:19,120
Speaker 5: away from my comfort zone and into something unknown. I

1106
00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:21,400
Speaker 5: didn't do that at first. I once stayed behind for

1107
00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:23,880
Speaker 5: a high school girlfriend instead of going away to college.

1108
00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 5: We broke up anyway, and I missed an entire life

1109
00:46:27,239 --> 00:46:29,720
Speaker 5: I could have built. I wish I had chosen myself

1110
00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:31,879
Speaker 5: back then. I wish someone had told me what I'm

1111
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:34,920
Speaker 5: telling you now. Tell your boyfriend the truth. Be kind,

1112
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:37,600
Speaker 5: be honest, and give him space to feel whatever comes up.

1113
00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:40,800
Speaker 5: But don't sacrifice your future to make him comfortable. Don't

1114
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:43,640
Speaker 5: hold yourself back out of guilt. You're not abandoning him.

1115
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:46,440
Speaker 5: You're honoring the path you've worked hard for. If it's

1116
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:48,480
Speaker 5: meant to be, maybe you two will find your way

1117
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:50,480
Speaker 5: back to each other down the line. But if not,

1118
00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:53,240
Speaker 5: that's okay too. It means he was part of your story,

1119
00:46:53,239 --> 00:46:54,120
Speaker 5: but not the whole thing.

1120
00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:54,560
Speaker 4: Cry.

1121
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:57,480
Speaker 5: If you need to grieve, let it hurt, but go anyway.

1122
00:46:57,680 --> 00:47:01,440
Speaker 5: You won't regret it. I promise well, hot Dog, that

1123
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:02,879
Speaker 5: was a great comment great.

1124
00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:05,759
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm gonna head out wrap it up. Boys, can

1125
00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:06,400
Speaker 4: we call them in?

1126
00:47:07,239 --> 00:47:10,000
Speaker 5: Jeez, And we've got that commentary, and we.

1127
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:12,520
Speaker 4: Guy here and they come in.

1128
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:14,759
Speaker 5: They're wearing a breath they're wearing a beret, they're eating.

1129
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:16,239
Speaker 4: I don't know if you can tell, but I wanted

1130
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:18,239
Speaker 4: to berry. That's sort of where I learned to become

1131
00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:19,200
Speaker 4: a better person.

1132
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:22,080
Speaker 5: And it changed my life, and it changed my life. Yeah,

1133
00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:25,279
Speaker 5: I think that commentary is exactly right. Ope, one tell

1134
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:28,320
Speaker 5: your partner really doesn't really matter what your partner says,

1135
00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:31,839
Speaker 5: because the results should still be You go on this

1136
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 5: trip because it gets so much harder to travel as

1137
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:37,600
Speaker 5: an adult once you're out of college. Like this is

1138
00:47:37,680 --> 00:47:40,200
Speaker 5: for some people, once in a lifetime opportunity to go

1139
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:41,200
Speaker 5: live somewhere else.

1140
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:42,359
Speaker 4: So take it.

1141
00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:45,080
Speaker 5: You want it, You have our approval, you have our permission.

1142
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:46,120
Speaker 4: Updates.

1143
00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:48,800
Speaker 5: I met up with my boyfriend, who was very insistent

1144
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:49,279
Speaker 5: to see me.

1145
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:50,799
Speaker 4: I thought he missed me too.

1146
00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:53,560
Speaker 5: When we met, he immediately asked me if I was

1147
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:55,799
Speaker 5: still going to change my mind. I was a bit

1148
00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:57,640
Speaker 5: relieved that he brought it up because I didn't know

1149
00:47:57,680 --> 00:47:59,919
Speaker 5: how to. I was honest and told him I was going,

1150
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:02,880
Speaker 5: explaining my decision and everything leading up to it. I

1151
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:05,560
Speaker 5: even told him I wanted to stay for us because

1152
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:07,480
Speaker 5: I loved him so much, but it wouldn't be fair

1153
00:48:07,560 --> 00:48:10,319
Speaker 5: for any of us a big decision or sacrifice like this.

1154
00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:14,840
Speaker 5: He was very quiet, wasn't reactive much. We joked a

1155
00:48:14,840 --> 00:48:17,400
Speaker 5: little bit and carried on with our hangout. He felt

1156
00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:19,400
Speaker 5: a bit distant. I didn't want to press him much

1157
00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:21,919
Speaker 5: further because I guessed he was still feeling burnt out

1158
00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:23,319
Speaker 5: from his recent internship.

1159
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:24,160
Speaker 4: I'm not the.

1160
00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:26,120
Speaker 5: Type to nag, and I was just really happy we

1161
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:28,399
Speaker 5: were hanging out. We parted ways, and the next day

1162
00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:30,960
Speaker 5: we didn't talk all day because he told me he

1163
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:33,360
Speaker 5: was leaving our city to go to his hometown five

1164
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:34,000
Speaker 5: hours away.

1165
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:35,600
Speaker 4: Okay, he told you that day.

1166
00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:38,680
Speaker 5: He was like I gotta go, I gotta go right now,

1167
00:48:38,719 --> 00:48:40,960
Speaker 5: And you're like, oh, okay, I feel like he's having

1168
00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:41,560
Speaker 5: a breakdown.

1169
00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:42,520
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1170
00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:44,799
Speaker 5: The very next day, a week ago, I woke up

1171
00:48:44,800 --> 00:48:47,080
Speaker 5: to a message at eight am telling me if I

1172
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:50,520
Speaker 5: thought our relationship would have a future in these new circumstances.

1173
00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:52,919
Speaker 5: I was very panicked because he even dropped the pet

1174
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:55,000
Speaker 5: names I told him we needed to talk on the

1175
00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:58,000
Speaker 5: phone Q five hours later, with no response, I told

1176
00:48:58,040 --> 00:49:00,680
Speaker 5: him the way he switched up so suddenly is a worrying.

1177
00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:03,440
Speaker 5: He texted me back, sending long text telling me he

1178
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:06,000
Speaker 5: couldn't do long distance, that he was thinking of this

1179
00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:08,320
Speaker 5: for a while, which matches up since he was acting

1180
00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:11,160
Speaker 5: more distant since May, and even if he tried, he

1181
00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:13,320
Speaker 5: wouldn't treat me the way I deserve to be treated,

1182
00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:16,319
Speaker 5: that he could shift his sights on another girl, that

1183
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:19,120
Speaker 5: he warned me about this the very first day we met,

1184
00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:21,239
Speaker 5: about an ex he couldn't get back with because of

1185
00:49:21,280 --> 00:49:23,520
Speaker 5: long distance, and that he loved me, and that he

1186
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:25,600
Speaker 5: was breaking up with me because he did love me,

1187
00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:27,560
Speaker 5: and if he didn't, he would just go ahead with

1188
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:29,960
Speaker 5: long distance and not care as much. That we should

1189
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:32,440
Speaker 5: break up now on good terms, something we wouldn't be

1190
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:34,520
Speaker 5: able to do on long distance, and good luck with

1191
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:35,960
Speaker 5: what I had in mind in the future.

1192
00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:39,440
Speaker 7: This is craz'n like this what I'm not like the

1193
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:43,120
Speaker 7: most angry at that, but it was over the ten pieces.

1194
00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:45,680
Speaker 4: That's true. That's true. I don't like the text like

1195
00:49:45,719 --> 00:49:47,680
Speaker 4: the da dub like I do think.

1196
00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:49,640
Speaker 5: A phone caller and in person would have been better.

1197
00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:51,960
Speaker 5: Like again, we always talk about.

1198
00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:55,840
Speaker 7: Like, okay, just communicate the truth of how you're feeling.

1199
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:58,120
Speaker 7: And I'm going to like, you know what, if that's

1200
00:49:58,400 --> 00:49:59,600
Speaker 7: the case, cut.

1201
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:02,440
Speaker 5: Your tie, you know, then we do this. Yeah, I

1202
00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:04,080
Speaker 5: mean if he's even thinking about.

1203
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:06,960
Speaker 7: Cheating, then I guess that that was one of those

1204
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:08,760
Speaker 7: ones where I'm like, I don't know if we put

1205
00:50:08,840 --> 00:50:11,120
Speaker 7: that in the text, you know, in the breakup text

1206
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:12,960
Speaker 7: where we're like, I think you could have just left it,

1207
00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 7: and like, hey, I.

1208
00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:15,839
Speaker 4: Just don't think I can do long distance. Yeah, that's

1209
00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:16,759
Speaker 4: gonna be really tough for me.

1210
00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:18,239
Speaker 5: I don't think you needed to say, like.

1211
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:22,080
Speaker 7: If you do it, I'm probably the beautiful, beautiful women

1212
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:24,680
Speaker 7: running around the college campus couldn't do it.

1213
00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:27,160
Speaker 5: Oh, it is a two year program, and I didn't

1214
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:33,600
Speaker 5: know that that change just a lot we change two years.

1215
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:36,400
Speaker 7: In my mind, it does change the context, but at

1216
00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:39,120
Speaker 7: the same time, to me, it doesn't change the methods.

1217
00:50:39,239 --> 00:50:41,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like I don't think that.

1218
00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:42,960
Speaker 7: It's like it changes the context, but it still is

1219
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:44,200
Speaker 7: the same stuff of like talk.

1220
00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:47,400
Speaker 4: To your partner, be truthful. I agree.

1221
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:51,239
Speaker 5: I was thinking I was like, wow, girl, you're overreacting. Yeah, no,

1222
00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:53,000
Speaker 5: that's you're not overreacting.

1223
00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:55,640
Speaker 4: Two years is a long time. You're not overreacting.

1224
00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:58,080
Speaker 7: I still do want you to have more positive self

1225
00:50:58,120 --> 00:51:01,960
Speaker 7: talk towards yourself, but more of the I agree.

1226
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:03,600
Speaker 4: I still think you should go take it.

1227
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:06,279
Speaker 5: I now understand why he wants to leave, you know,

1228
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:08,800
Speaker 5: to cut it off. Probably should have done it in person.

1229
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:11,200
Speaker 5: When I asked him why didn't simply break up with

1230
00:51:11,239 --> 00:51:13,960
Speaker 5: me in person when we met instead of text, he

1231
00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:16,920
Speaker 5: told me he wanted a good last hangout with no drama.

1232
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:19,120
Speaker 5: But I would feel so much less hurt if I

1233
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:21,360
Speaker 5: was broken up with in other ways than text, and

1234
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:23,799
Speaker 5: even less so if someone who had been planning for

1235
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,160
Speaker 5: a while to break up with me had told me

1236
00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:29,080
Speaker 5: the very instant he started thinking of going through with It.

1237
00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:31,120
Speaker 5: Just feels like a blind side, even if I was

1238
00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:34,080
Speaker 5: expecting to break up, but not like this. During the hangout,

1239
00:51:34,120 --> 00:51:36,000
Speaker 5: he even asked me to come over to his house

1240
00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:38,719
Speaker 5: before he went back to his hometown. I couldn't because

1241
00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:41,400
Speaker 5: schedules didn't fit. Of course, we were gonna be intimate,

1242
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:44,040
Speaker 5: and this angers me more because he knew for a

1243
00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:46,040
Speaker 5: while that he wanted to break up with me, yet

1244
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:49,600
Speaker 5: he still wanted me to come over for spicy sleep yikes,

1245
00:51:49,960 --> 00:51:51,720
Speaker 5: And there is a little bit left to this story.

1246
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:55,480
Speaker 5: I think you did the best that you could do. Yeah,

1247
00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:57,840
Speaker 5: you kind of nailed all of this. Yeah, you know,

1248
00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:00,520
Speaker 5: you change your mind. People do it. And you told

1249
00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:02,359
Speaker 5: him when you'd figured it out.

1250
00:52:02,719 --> 00:52:07,080
Speaker 4: And now go enjoy Bolivia or whatever are you going.

1251
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:09,000
Speaker 5: I don't know, Go enjoy Croatia.

1252
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:10,400
Speaker 4: Go enjoy Croatia.

1253
00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:12,480
Speaker 5: But there's a little bit left to this story. I

1254
00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:15,480
Speaker 5: think you nail that he didn't. I was so heartbroken.

1255
00:52:15,640 --> 00:52:17,200
Speaker 5: Keep in mind, he told me all of this in

1256
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:20,280
Speaker 5: five minutes. I got literally broken up with in five

1257
00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:23,160
Speaker 5: minutes when I sent him messages that I understood why

1258
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:25,360
Speaker 5: he would break up, and then I'm still really heartbroken

1259
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:28,719
Speaker 5: over it. I got no response, just left on delivered.

1260
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:29,240
Speaker 4: Ouch.

1261
00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:32,799
Speaker 5: He's still active on his Instagram account. No, that's the

1262
00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:36,840
Speaker 5: worst part, liking reels and such Ooh, but I feel

1263
00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:39,520
Speaker 5: so gutted. I could understand why he would break up.

1264
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:41,759
Speaker 5: I was bracing for it, but the way he did

1265
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:44,040
Speaker 5: it is just really breaking my heart. And I don't

1266
00:52:44,160 --> 00:52:46,360
Speaker 5: know if I'm even right to feel this way. It

1267
00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:49,440
Speaker 5: just felt like a complete discard and complete disrespect to

1268
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:53,279
Speaker 5: brush over nine months of solid relationship so easily. I'm

1269
00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:55,479
Speaker 5: not planning on reaching out because I know it's over.

1270
00:52:55,719 --> 00:52:58,319
Speaker 5: There's no point of violating his boundaries, and I can't

1271
00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:00,600
Speaker 5: bring myself to text someone I was head over heels

1272
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:03,320
Speaker 5: in love with, so attached with, that discarded me without

1273
00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:05,719
Speaker 5: looking back. I know he was in his rights to

1274
00:53:05,760 --> 00:53:07,960
Speaker 5: break up, but I just feel so sad about how

1275
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:10,560
Speaker 5: it happened. I'm dealing with it pretty hard at the moment.

1276
00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:13,400
Speaker 5: I have no appetite and I can only distract myself

1277
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:16,239
Speaker 5: with visa proceedings. I'm not bashing him on wanting to

1278
00:53:16,280 --> 00:53:18,719
Speaker 5: break up, but how careless it felt to me after

1279
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:22,120
Speaker 5: nine months together, after everything I did for him and

1280
00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:24,360
Speaker 5: how much I loved him. Thank you for everyone that

1281
00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:26,560
Speaker 5: gave me advice. I did love him a lot, and

1282
00:53:26,600 --> 00:53:28,960
Speaker 5: I feel sad about all this. I'm carrying on with

1283
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:32,000
Speaker 5: my studying abroad project. I appreciate everyone that reached out

1284
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:34,239
Speaker 5: and gave me a piece of their mind. Just feel

1285
00:53:34,239 --> 00:53:35,720
Speaker 5: like I should update on what happened.

1286
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:37,760
Speaker 6: John Here, We're gonna get back to this juicy story,

1287
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:38,880
Speaker 6: but a quick three minute break of.

1288
00:53:38,840 --> 00:53:42,600
Speaker 2: Ads from our sponsors. My wife got the disease and

1289
00:53:42,680 --> 00:53:44,360
Speaker 2: still tried to sleep with me.

1290
00:53:44,960 --> 00:53:47,040
Speaker 6: Don't be giving any any of that, please.

1291
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:51,960
Speaker 2: I twenty seven male, have been married to my wife

1292
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:56,480
Speaker 2: twenty nine female, for four years together eight years, and

1293
00:53:56,520 --> 00:53:59,719
Speaker 2: we have a son who's a toddler. Together. Around six

1294
00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 2: or seven months ago, I struggled with some mental and

1295
00:54:03,239 --> 00:54:06,239
Speaker 2: medical problems that made my libido drop to the point

1296
00:54:06,239 --> 00:54:10,480
Speaker 2: where we had a passed away bedroom for four months.

1297
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:15,239
Speaker 2: Oh about two months ago, my wife asked me to

1298
00:54:15,280 --> 00:54:19,560
Speaker 2: open our marriage because she was frustrated and disappointed in

1299
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:20,360
Speaker 2: our bedlight.

1300
00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:23,600
Speaker 6: Oh so it wasn't about like not getting enough happening.

1301
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:26,239
Speaker 6: It was that she's probably unattracted to you.

1302
00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:30,240
Speaker 2: She had also started acting cold around me before that point.

1303
00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:33,759
Speaker 2: At that point, I was very stressed and anxious, so

1304
00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:37,359
Speaker 2: I easily agreed to save our marriage and we made

1305
00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:40,080
Speaker 2: some agreement that that's where wrong the game, an en,

1306
00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:41,000
Speaker 2: she's gonna take a mile.

1307
00:54:41,239 --> 00:54:44,200
Speaker 6: God, what are these agreements? Always love seeing these open

1308
00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:48,560
Speaker 6: marriage agreements and how they start off thinking their fool proof.

1309
00:54:48,719 --> 00:54:51,480
Speaker 2: Yeah. I know a few people who are like who

1310
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:53,520
Speaker 2: have tried to make it work or are in like

1311
00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:58,200
Speaker 2: a poly lifestyle. And sometimes sometimes they're there they can work,

1312
00:54:58,200 --> 00:54:59,360
Speaker 2: but a lot of the time it just ends up

1313
00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:02,520
Speaker 2: with people getting her. Yes, she seemed to come back

1314
00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:06,200
Speaker 2: to normal, and I felt relieved by the way this

1315
00:55:06,280 --> 00:55:10,080
Speaker 2: comes from irresponsible man dad to six' four and if

1316
00:55:10,080 --> 00:55:11,600
Speaker 2: you want to submit your own, stories go to the

1317
00:55:11,719 --> 00:55:14,839
Speaker 2: r slash okay story Of time. SUBREDDIT a week, ago

1318
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:18,880
Speaker 2: she suddenly Wanted spicy sleep with me, again AND i

1319
00:55:19,239 --> 00:55:22,560
Speaker 2: slightly rejected Because i'm still trying to improve my mental.

1320
00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:25,919
Speaker 2: Health she broke out and we had, arguments which ended

1321
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:28,480
Speaker 2: up with her leaving the house and staying with her Sister.

1322
00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:33,440
Speaker 2: Yey after two, days my son started to ask about his.

1323
00:55:33,560 --> 00:55:36,520
Speaker 2: MOM i felt awful BECAUSE i had to lie to.

1324
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:39,319
Speaker 2: Him she didn't answer my calls or, texts SO i

1325
00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:42,560
Speaker 2: tried to contact her, sister but got no answer. Too

1326
00:55:42,719 --> 00:55:46,360
Speaker 2: on the third, day suddenly my sister in law. Contacted

1327
00:55:46,600 --> 00:55:48,520
Speaker 2: WHEN i picked, up she yelled at, me called me

1328
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:51,520
Speaker 2: all the, names and Said i'm the ah for letting

1329
00:55:51,520 --> 00:55:57,399
Speaker 2: my wife deal with THE STDs. Alone what? STDs, yo

1330
00:55:57,840 --> 00:55:59,520
Speaker 2: that's not the way you want to find out about.

1331
00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:01,759
Speaker 2: This you never want to find out about, this but

1332
00:56:01,800 --> 00:56:02,400
Speaker 2: certainly not that.

1333
00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:04,480
Speaker 6: Way AND i bet you you're the one that went

1334
00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:07,000
Speaker 6: around getting them and you gave them to her after

1335
00:56:07,120 --> 00:56:10,040
Speaker 6: the story went oh, yeah this is definitely what's about

1336
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:10,319
Speaker 6: to have been.

1337
00:56:10,440 --> 00:56:14,960
Speaker 2: Said, OKAY i was frozen and said what she, said

1338
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:18,439
Speaker 2: she found medicines and medical records of my wife and hung.

1339
00:56:18,680 --> 00:56:21,800
Speaker 2: Up i'm now feeling like a mess and heartbroken after

1340
00:56:21,920 --> 00:56:24,840
Speaker 2: three days of thinking it's not just that she betrayed

1341
00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:28,080
Speaker 2: our agreement about, it but it makes me. Scared was

1342
00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:29,880
Speaker 2: she trying to make me get AN std?

1343
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:31,920
Speaker 6: Too oh my, gosh you probably.

1344
00:56:32,280 --> 00:56:35,520
Speaker 2: WAS i feel like our marriage is, over but our

1345
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:38,400
Speaker 2: son is still very. YOUNG i don't know what to do.

1346
00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:41,319
Speaker 2: Now please give me some. Advice there's an, update but

1347
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:44,200
Speaker 2: let's uh unpack. This there's a there's a lot of

1348
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:45,919
Speaker 2: there's a lot to unpack. Here.

1349
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:48,279
Speaker 6: Dude you know how mess up you have to be

1350
00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:54,319
Speaker 6: to have a, bedroom propose and open, marriage proceed to

1351
00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:57,920
Speaker 6: cheat without an, agreement get, STDs and then force your

1352
00:56:58,040 --> 00:57:00,759
Speaker 6: husband to sleep with use so you can give HIM,

1353
00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:02,960
Speaker 6: std so you can frame him to having the one

1354
00:57:02,960 --> 00:57:03,239
Speaker 6: to get.

1355
00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:06,279
Speaker 2: Sdds depending on how serious it, Is i'm pretty sure

1356
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:12,520
Speaker 2: that's like a, charge really, yeah because like you knowingly have, This,

1357
00:57:12,840 --> 00:57:16,840
Speaker 2: yeah you're dealing with that could potentially you and then

1358
00:57:16,880 --> 00:57:21,440
Speaker 2: you pass it along to someone and give them, that oh.

1359
00:57:21,480 --> 00:57:25,640
Speaker 2: Disease that is oh, man someone who's got legal. Background

1360
00:57:25,640 --> 00:57:28,920
Speaker 2: correct me If i'm. Wrong, uh sharing is not caring

1361
00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:32,400
Speaker 2: in this. Situation but correct me If i'm. Wrong But

1362
00:57:32,440 --> 00:57:34,439
Speaker 2: i'm pretty sure you could take someone like you could

1363
00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:35,520
Speaker 2: criminally charge someone with.

1364
00:57:35,560 --> 00:57:37,360
Speaker 6: That that's, wild like that.

1365
00:57:37,240 --> 00:57:39,160
Speaker 2: You're actively giving someone a.

1366
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:43,040
Speaker 6: Disease, yeah someone please confirm. This i'm gonna believe.

1367
00:57:43,080 --> 00:57:43,760
Speaker 4: It, yes it is.

1368
00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:46,760
Speaker 6: Illegal thank, You. Sophia, okay it is. Illegal this is.

1369
00:57:46,760 --> 00:57:47,760
Speaker 6: Wild that's good to know.

1370
00:57:47,880 --> 00:57:51,840
Speaker 2: Too oh we, okay here we. Go. UPDATE i did the.

1371
00:57:51,920 --> 00:57:58,280
Speaker 2: Test i'm still. Healthy thank. Good my doctor still recommends

1372
00:57:58,320 --> 00:58:01,400
Speaker 2: a few more tests next week to be. Sure we've

1373
00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:06,640
Speaker 2: got some comments from ambroisyc why or Ambros. Cci i'm, Sorry,

1374
00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:09,520
Speaker 2: opi but there are so many red flags and none

1375
00:58:09,560 --> 00:58:12,160
Speaker 2: of those are coming from. You while you have mental

1376
00:58:12,200 --> 00:58:14,600
Speaker 2: and medical problems and try to deal with, them your

1377
00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:18,120
Speaker 2: wife decides to open your marriage and go sleep around

1378
00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:20,560
Speaker 2: instead of helping you get better and work on your.

1379
00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:24,720
Speaker 2: Marriage her spicy related frustration is more important to her

1380
00:58:24,920 --> 00:58:27,600
Speaker 2: than your own. Health that should have been your first

1381
00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:30,919
Speaker 2: and last clue that she's an awful. Person your wife

1382
00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:33,360
Speaker 2: asks you to have spicy, sleep but your mental health

1383
00:58:33,360 --> 00:58:36,280
Speaker 2: hasn't been, improving and you deny it within good, reason

1384
00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:39,680
Speaker 2: in my, opinion she lashes out at you and leaves

1385
00:58:39,680 --> 00:58:42,440
Speaker 2: you and the. Kids she doesn't call any of you

1386
00:58:42,520 --> 00:58:46,240
Speaker 2: for two. DAYS i, mean your freaking son doesn't understand

1387
00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:48,960
Speaker 2: where his mom, is and she just doesn't care at.

1388
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:51,400
Speaker 2: All she found out she had AN std and is

1389
00:58:51,440 --> 00:58:54,320
Speaker 2: probably the real reason she left to her sister's. House to,

1390
00:58:54,480 --> 00:58:58,480
Speaker 2: me this is the apogy of. Disrespect not only she

1391
00:58:58,560 --> 00:59:02,000
Speaker 2: probably didn't take enough FOR ptecd and clearly didn't care

1392
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:04,640
Speaker 2: while sleeping with other, men but she tried to have

1393
00:59:04,680 --> 00:59:08,160
Speaker 2: spicy sleep without you, knowing and there was a possibility

1394
00:59:08,240 --> 00:59:10,840
Speaker 2: she had THE. Std you're here trying to figure out

1395
00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:13,400
Speaker 2: if you are AN ah for not being concerned about

1396
00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:17,880
Speaker 2: something you didn't know anything. About, Seriously, op you need

1397
00:59:17,920 --> 00:59:21,240
Speaker 2: to open your, eyes not just your. Marriage that's a

1398
00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:26,800
Speaker 2: that's a fun, line BANGER. NTA i even thought of

1399
00:59:26,800 --> 00:59:29,040
Speaker 2: the possibility of her knowing fully she had AN sd

1400
00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:31,919
Speaker 2: while trying to spicy sleep WITH, op so she could

1401
00:59:31,920 --> 00:59:35,280
Speaker 2: accuse him of passing into her, afterwards exactly like her sister.

1402
00:59:35,320 --> 00:59:39,320
Speaker 2: Did wow comments From organic two thousand and. Three so

1403
00:59:39,440 --> 00:59:42,120
Speaker 2: you willingly opened your marriage or was it forced on?

1404
00:59:42,160 --> 00:59:45,320
Speaker 2: You open marriage rarely. Works you should have known. Better

1405
00:59:45,720 --> 00:59:48,760
Speaker 2: didn't you even talk about STD's or, pregnancy have any

1406
00:59:48,880 --> 00:59:52,320
Speaker 2: kind of? Plan everyone sucks. Here the whole situation is a.

1407
00:59:52,360 --> 00:59:54,480
Speaker 2: Mess and did she really try to give you AN

1408
00:59:54,560 --> 00:59:58,160
Speaker 2: std that can be criminal in some? Places, OP i don't.

1409
00:59:58,200 --> 01:00:01,120
Speaker 2: KNOW i don't feel uncomfortable with her sleeping around as

1410
01:00:01,120 --> 01:00:03,520
Speaker 2: long as we communicate about, it BUT i do feel

1411
01:00:03,640 --> 01:00:06,440
Speaker 2: it got too fast AND i should be more skeptical about.

1412
01:00:06,440 --> 01:00:08,560
Speaker 2: It we have made the agreement that she needed to

1413
01:00:08,560 --> 01:00:11,400
Speaker 2: make sure her partner was clean and always use the,

1414
01:00:11,720 --> 01:00:14,520
Speaker 2: rapper and she insisted THAT i can trust. Her she

1415
01:00:14,560 --> 01:00:17,000
Speaker 2: did say that if she got, pregnant she would immediately.

1416
01:00:17,240 --> 01:00:22,360
Speaker 2: Terminate BEST vdv driver, said we have an agreement that

1417
01:00:22,400 --> 01:00:25,040
Speaker 2: she needed to make sure her partner was. Clean she lied,

1418
01:00:25,080 --> 01:00:28,120
Speaker 2: here always use A wiener rapper and insisted THAT i

1419
01:00:28,120 --> 01:00:30,080
Speaker 2: can trust. Her she did say that if she would get,

1420
01:00:30,080 --> 01:00:32,440
Speaker 2: pregnant she would terminate, Immediately so you'd have to be

1421
01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:34,760
Speaker 2: a damn idiot to trust. This i'm going to talk

1422
01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:37,040
Speaker 2: to a, LAWYER. Opi he, Said, YEAH i do feel

1423
01:00:37,040 --> 01:00:39,440
Speaker 2: like an, idiot and you are. RIGHT i always trust

1424
01:00:39,440 --> 01:00:41,439
Speaker 2: her BECAUSE i loved. Her but after, THIS i don't

1425
01:00:41,440 --> 01:00:43,560
Speaker 2: even know WHAT i feel right. NOW i will think

1426
01:00:43,560 --> 01:00:47,320
Speaker 2: about a divorce after getting myself. Tested thank you for your.

1427
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:51,360
Speaker 2: Advice we have an, update but let's uh just a

1428
01:00:51,400 --> 01:00:54,400
Speaker 2: little bit. Longer do you think that everyone sucks here in?

1429
01:00:54,440 --> 01:00:58,720
Speaker 2: THIS i would, say like Maybe opie didn't practice the,

1430
01:00:58,760 --> 01:01:02,880
Speaker 2: most like saying judgment and like wasn't protecting himself the.

1431
01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:07,200
Speaker 2: Most But i'm not quite sure if everyone did suck.

1432
01:01:07,400 --> 01:01:08,960
Speaker 2: HERE i feel LIKE i hope he was trying to

1433
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:10,920
Speaker 2: see his carriage and like loved his.

1434
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:17,640
Speaker 6: Wife definitely the wife, sucks oh you know HE i don't.

1435
01:01:17,640 --> 01:01:18,880
Speaker 2: Know it was sort of like you're.

1436
01:01:18,680 --> 01:01:23,800
Speaker 6: Giving a science exam and you haven't like studied, science

1437
01:01:24,120 --> 01:01:25,880
Speaker 6: you're gonna do. Horribly and that's what it was done.

1438
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:30,240
Speaker 6: Here who knew THAT i had to prepare, for you,

1439
01:01:30,280 --> 01:01:32,760
Speaker 6: know my wife GETTING STDs AND i had to figure

1440
01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:34,800
Speaker 6: out all these backup plans and be put on the

1441
01:01:34,840 --> 01:01:37,960
Speaker 6: spot by my sister in. Law like in that, moment

1442
01:01:38,040 --> 01:01:39,640
Speaker 6: you don't really know what to. Do so that's why

1443
01:01:39,640 --> 01:01:41,400
Speaker 6: you're going to. REDDIT i think he's not the a.

1444
01:01:41,480 --> 01:01:43,800
Speaker 6: Hole he figured it. Out there's some things that are

1445
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:45,800
Speaker 6: basic common knowledge where you like you, know you try

1446
01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:48,080
Speaker 6: and figure like you know you're you're giving to this

1447
01:01:48,160 --> 01:01:49,760
Speaker 6: and all. That we'll stick at this update.

1448
01:01:49,520 --> 01:01:53,400
Speaker 2: Here, Date my wife twenty nine just admitted cheating on

1449
01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:57,919
Speaker 2: me AND i am Getting i'm on the a hole

1450
01:01:57,960 --> 01:02:00,840
Speaker 2: IF i wanted to. Leave oh, my, oh.

1451
01:02:02,160 --> 01:02:02,400
Speaker 4: Not that.

1452
01:02:02,480 --> 01:02:05,120
Speaker 2: Goney six months, AGO i had some mental and medical

1453
01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:07,760
Speaker 2: problems that prevented me from having spicy sleep. With she

1454
01:02:07,880 --> 01:02:10,280
Speaker 2: convinced me to get into an open, marriage and she

1455
01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:13,520
Speaker 2: had it for two months until two weeks. Ago she

1456
01:02:13,560 --> 01:02:16,720
Speaker 2: suddenly wanted to be intimate, again and WHEN i, refused

1457
01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:20,280
Speaker 2: she got angry and. LEFT i couldn't contact her for

1458
01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:23,080
Speaker 2: a whole week until her sister, called accusing me of

1459
01:02:23,120 --> 01:02:26,680
Speaker 2: having an affair and giving HER. STDs i immediately went

1460
01:02:26,720 --> 01:02:29,400
Speaker 2: to the doctor and it was confirmed THAT i didn't have.

1461
01:02:29,520 --> 01:02:31,960
Speaker 2: IT i tried to contact her sister, again BUT i

1462
01:02:32,040 --> 01:02:35,280
Speaker 2: was blocked by all her. Family two days, ago she

1463
01:02:35,360 --> 01:02:37,760
Speaker 2: drove home for the first time to visit our, son

1464
01:02:38,120 --> 01:02:41,120
Speaker 2: who's a, toddler whom she had abandoned with me for

1465
01:02:41,240 --> 01:02:41,640
Speaker 2: more than a.

1466
01:02:41,680 --> 01:02:41,919
Speaker 6: Week.

1467
01:02:42,080 --> 01:02:45,720
Speaker 2: Oh we sat down and. Talked she admitted she had

1468
01:02:45,760 --> 01:02:48,800
Speaker 2: known this person for three weeks BEFORE i agreed to

1469
01:02:48,840 --> 01:02:52,320
Speaker 2: open the. Relationship, oh all, right this was. Planned as was.

1470
01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:55,360
Speaker 2: PLANNED i asked her about THE std that her sister

1471
01:02:55,440 --> 01:02:59,080
Speaker 2: told me, about and her face turned. PALE i had

1472
01:02:59,120 --> 01:03:01,760
Speaker 2: to urge her a few times until she admitted that

1473
01:03:01,840 --> 01:03:05,120
Speaker 2: she has and that the other partner had lied to

1474
01:03:05,160 --> 01:03:08,520
Speaker 2: her about his medical condition and protection, methods and he

1475
01:03:08,560 --> 01:03:13,680
Speaker 2: had already cut off contact with. Her. DAMN i asked

1476
01:03:13,680 --> 01:03:16,000
Speaker 2: her if she knew and wanted to infect me that.

1477
01:03:16,280 --> 01:03:19,400
Speaker 2: Day she was silent for a few minutes until she

1478
01:03:19,440 --> 01:03:22,240
Speaker 2: burst into tears and begged me to forgive, her saying

1479
01:03:22,280 --> 01:03:24,360
Speaker 2: it was just a foolish. Thought in a panic and,

1480
01:03:24,520 --> 01:03:28,200
Speaker 2: FEAR i lost my temper and yelled at her and

1481
01:03:28,240 --> 01:03:31,040
Speaker 2: punted her out of a. HOUSE i, said We're. John

1482
01:03:31,480 --> 01:03:34,960
Speaker 2: i'm feeling so many, emotions heartbreak or. ANGER i don't

1483
01:03:35,000 --> 01:03:38,600
Speaker 2: know what to feel, anymore but it's so. PAIN i

1484
01:03:38,680 --> 01:03:41,080
Speaker 2: was with her for eight, years AND i thought we

1485
01:03:41,120 --> 01:03:43,760
Speaker 2: would be together. Forever my in laws and our mutual

1486
01:03:43,760 --> 01:03:45,840
Speaker 2: friends all sent me a bunch of messages telling me

1487
01:03:46,080 --> 01:03:49,160
Speaker 2: to forgive, her and that she knew she was wrong

1488
01:03:49,160 --> 01:03:52,200
Speaker 2: and already had gotten the. KARMA i should think about

1489
01:03:52,240 --> 01:03:54,040
Speaker 2: my son and how difficult it would be IF i

1490
01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:56,480
Speaker 2: wanted to get custody of, him and they were. RIGHT

1491
01:03:56,560 --> 01:03:59,000
Speaker 2: i no longer have contact with relatives or ANYONE i

1492
01:03:59,040 --> 01:04:02,320
Speaker 2: FEEL i could rely. On SO i feel very. Hopeless

1493
01:04:02,680 --> 01:04:05,000
Speaker 2: what SHOULD i? Do CAN i forgive her after all

1494
01:04:05,040 --> 01:04:08,320
Speaker 2: these years and start? Again there's an edit, here oh.

1495
01:04:08,400 --> 01:04:12,880
Speaker 6: Man but the part in vows and sickness and, HEALTH

1496
01:04:13,120 --> 01:04:15,160
Speaker 6: i think that was broken because whenever you were, sick

1497
01:04:15,560 --> 01:04:19,040
Speaker 6: you weren't able to satisfy all of her needs in that,

1498
01:04:19,080 --> 01:04:21,120
Speaker 6: moment and she went and betrayed you in that, way,

1499
01:04:21,320 --> 01:04:22,400
Speaker 6: RIGHT i think this is a.

1500
01:04:22,480 --> 01:04:24,400
Speaker 2: Rap didn't help his, Sickness she.

1501
01:04:24,480 --> 01:04:27,760
Speaker 6: Didn't she forced him into an open marriage and.

1502
01:04:27,720 --> 01:04:30,400
Speaker 2: Then added more, sickness or tried to add more, Sickness.

1503
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:34,000
Speaker 6: AND i think that is just wrong in a lot

1504
01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:37,040
Speaker 6: of ways at this. POINT i, MEAN i. Wouldn't not

1505
01:04:37,040 --> 01:04:40,280
Speaker 6: only did she, cheat she planned to infect you with

1506
01:04:40,280 --> 01:04:41,840
Speaker 6: a disease so she could plan it on.

1507
01:04:41,880 --> 01:04:44,360
Speaker 2: You mm, HMM i don't.

1508
01:04:44,400 --> 01:04:45,880
Speaker 6: KNOW i i'd call it a rap at this.

1509
01:04:45,920 --> 01:04:48,880
Speaker 2: POINT i don't see how the family or the, friends

1510
01:04:49,080 --> 01:04:51,320
Speaker 2: LIKE i see what they're where they're. Coming obviously they're

1511
01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:55,240
Speaker 2: trying to salvage this for the person they care, About

1512
01:04:55,440 --> 01:04:58,360
Speaker 2: but saying that she already had her. Karma no she. Didn't,

1513
01:04:58,760 --> 01:05:02,440
Speaker 2: okay she made. Me she got a consequence from sleeping

1514
01:05:02,480 --> 01:05:03,080
Speaker 2: around and.

1515
01:05:03,040 --> 01:05:05,800
Speaker 6: She got caught AND i got a little. Embarrassed yees, Did.

1516
01:05:05,680 --> 01:05:09,240
Speaker 2: But she didn't have any karma for trying to INFECT

1517
01:05:09,320 --> 01:05:13,720
Speaker 2: op and her. Husband there's no, no, no, no no.

1518
01:05:13,720 --> 01:05:17,600
Speaker 2: No there is no accountability here. Whatsoever so here's the.

1519
01:05:17,720 --> 01:05:20,800
Speaker 2: Edit sorry for some DETAIL i did not clarify in

1520
01:05:20,880 --> 01:05:23,440
Speaker 2: my old. POST i made it WHEN i didn't remember

1521
01:05:23,440 --> 01:05:26,120
Speaker 2: the full details about what my sister in law tussed

1522
01:05:26,120 --> 01:05:28,560
Speaker 2: me BECAUSE i was shocked about my wife GETTING. STDs

1523
01:05:29,160 --> 01:05:31,240
Speaker 2: i did bring that to my wife in the, conversation

1524
01:05:31,640 --> 01:05:34,120
Speaker 2: and she admitted she did lie to her family THAT

1525
01:05:34,160 --> 01:05:37,760
Speaker 2: i cheated on. Her some comments and uh from here's FOR.

1526
01:05:37,880 --> 01:05:41,240
Speaker 2: Opi her sister did text me with an, apology but that's.

1527
01:05:41,280 --> 01:05:43,200
Speaker 2: It the other is they will just text something LIKE

1528
01:05:43,400 --> 01:05:45,560
Speaker 2: i know you're very hurt right, now but your son

1529
01:05:45,680 --> 01:05:48,520
Speaker 2: needs his mom and she's in very remorseful right. Now

1530
01:05:48,680 --> 01:05:51,440
Speaker 2: please give her a chance to make it. RIGHT i

1531
01:05:51,480 --> 01:05:54,200
Speaker 2: didn't answer any of. That it made me feel anger

1532
01:05:54,280 --> 01:05:55,160
Speaker 2: every TIME i looked at.

1533
01:05:55,200 --> 01:05:58,520
Speaker 6: It update, Two oh my, gosh.

1534
01:05:57,680 --> 01:06:00,200
Speaker 2: My wife twenty nine admitted she's cheating on me twenty

1535
01:06:00,240 --> 01:06:03,120
Speaker 2: seven and GETTING i want a hole IF i wanted

1536
01:06:03,160 --> 01:06:07,160
Speaker 2: to leave sixteen days. Later so this is a whole

1537
01:06:07,600 --> 01:06:11,080
Speaker 2: two weeks in. Change we've had time. Here so first of,

1538
01:06:11,160 --> 01:06:13,920
Speaker 2: all thank you for anyone who gave me good advice

1539
01:06:14,000 --> 01:06:18,000
Speaker 2: and kind. Words i'm very appreciative of. Support now to my,

1540
01:06:18,080 --> 01:06:21,600
Speaker 2: update my wife and me are separating. Now i'm currently

1541
01:06:21,640 --> 01:06:23,480
Speaker 2: hiring a part time nanny to take care of my

1542
01:06:23,560 --> 01:06:26,120
Speaker 2: son While i'm at. Work and even THOUGH i already

1543
01:06:26,120 --> 01:06:28,560
Speaker 2: cut back my, WORKOUT i did find a lawyer to

1544
01:06:28,640 --> 01:06:31,280
Speaker 2: advised me about the divorce procedure and WHAT i would

1545
01:06:31,280 --> 01:06:34,120
Speaker 2: lose after the. Divorce he also SAID i needed to

1546
01:06:34,120 --> 01:06:37,400
Speaker 2: collect more evidence that my wife really wanted to infect, me,

1547
01:06:37,440 --> 01:06:39,600
Speaker 2: though WHICH i think is quite hard because she doesn't

1548
01:06:39,640 --> 01:06:41,680
Speaker 2: want to talk about. It the charges we, made such

1549
01:06:41,680 --> 01:06:44,360
Speaker 2: as abandonment or adultery seem like they might not work.

1550
01:06:44,520 --> 01:06:48,520
Speaker 2: Either my wife has started visiting our son four times

1551
01:06:48,560 --> 01:06:51,000
Speaker 2: a week. Now she acts like a good mother and

1552
01:06:51,080 --> 01:06:54,760
Speaker 2: expects me to do couple's. Therapy her treatment is. Complete

1553
01:06:54,920 --> 01:06:57,760
Speaker 2: she said that she already closed the marriage from her

1554
01:06:57,800 --> 01:07:00,960
Speaker 2: side and is willingly setting the post. Up, however IF

1555
01:07:01,040 --> 01:07:03,360
Speaker 2: i want to give her the. Chance her family is

1556
01:07:03,360 --> 01:07:06,240
Speaker 2: still texting about how her days are miserable without me

1557
01:07:06,280 --> 01:07:09,280
Speaker 2: and our. CHILD i kind of ignore. THEM i didn't

1558
01:07:09,320 --> 01:07:11,800
Speaker 2: block them in case things break. Down SO i still

1559
01:07:11,840 --> 01:07:14,720
Speaker 2: have a. Wreck that's my. Update i'm still getting used

1560
01:07:14,720 --> 01:07:16,920
Speaker 2: to the lifestyle of just me and my. CHILD i

1561
01:07:16,960 --> 01:07:19,800
Speaker 2: have agreed to marriage counseling with her This, saturday THOUGH

1562
01:07:19,880 --> 01:07:22,160
Speaker 2: i don't think it will change, anything and that's the

1563
01:07:22,280 --> 01:07:24,960
Speaker 2: end of the. STORY i don't think it's gonna change anything.

1564
01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:27,600
Speaker 2: EITHER i think she's already broken that. Trust she's not

1565
01:07:27,720 --> 01:07:30,120
Speaker 2: remorseful that she did. It she's remorseful she got. Caught,

1566
01:07:30,360 --> 01:07:33,120
Speaker 2: yeah she's remorseful of what she's gonna. Lose she already

1567
01:07:33,160 --> 01:07:36,000
Speaker 2: abandoned you and your kid for a. Week, yeah she

1568
01:07:36,520 --> 01:07:40,160
Speaker 2: already tried to infect. You she already opened the marriage.

1569
01:07:40,240 --> 01:07:42,040
Speaker 2: Once who's to say she's not gonna do it again

1570
01:07:42,120 --> 01:07:42,760
Speaker 2: less things settled.

1571
01:07:42,800 --> 01:07:43,280
Speaker 3: Down mm.

1572
01:07:43,400 --> 01:07:44,840
Speaker 6: Hmm. Ridiculous