1
00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:01,560
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam.

2
00:00:01,639 --> 00:00:04,320
Speaker 2: This is John the og story Time podcast host.

3
00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:06,200
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, and we got some great stories coming up.

4
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,639
Speaker 2: But before that, we got a teeny two minute break

5
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,600
Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like

6
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:12,280
Speaker 2: a little house.

7
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:12,600
Speaker 3: Oh you.

8
00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:17,200
Speaker 2: My sister asked for a wedding favor last minute, but

9
00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:18,920
Speaker 2: she refused to cover my flight.

10
00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:20,200
Speaker 4: First class only.

11
00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:24,560
Speaker 2: Jesus I, twenty four female don't know where to begin.

12
00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:26,920
Speaker 2: Recently I started listening to these am.

13
00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:28,080
Speaker 5: I the Ahle videos.

14
00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:32,320
Speaker 2: My sister and her fiance twenty four female are planning

15
00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:35,520
Speaker 2: a small Vegas wedding this October. She only first brought

16
00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:39,320
Speaker 2: it up yesterday afternoon, so this is all very last minute.

17
00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:42,640
Speaker 2: And last night they told me nothing was concrete yet,

18
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:45,720
Speaker 2: but this morning had already escalated. By the way, this

19
00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:48,920
Speaker 2: comes from Okay Caterpillar eleven seventy two, and if you

20
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:50,320
Speaker 2: want to spit your own stories, go to the r

21
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:54,120
Speaker 2: slash Okay Storytime supparate it. I'm Sophia, I'm Vincent, and

22
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:56,160
Speaker 2: we're here to give good advice. Goofy, But we don't

23
00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,120
Speaker 2: have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

24
00:00:58,520 --> 00:00:59,760
Speaker 2: So let us know what you would do in the

25
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:03,960
Speaker 2: common for context, I'm a professional photographer. I've taken plenty

26
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:08,000
Speaker 2: of photos for my sister and her fiance before for free,

27
00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:11,120
Speaker 2: especially when I was starting out, but now this is

28
00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:15,240
Speaker 2: my career. I normally charged two fifty for a standard session,

29
00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:17,840
Speaker 2: which is about the cost of a flight to Vegas,

30
00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:20,560
Speaker 2: and one thousand dollars or more for weddings. When they

31
00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:23,520
Speaker 2: mentioned the wedding, it was implied I'd be doing it

32
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:26,560
Speaker 2: for free and paying for all of my own travel

33
00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:29,200
Speaker 2: and hotel. I haven't actually asked them to cover my

34
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,080
Speaker 2: flight yet, but when I asked if the date was

35
00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,880
Speaker 2: at all flexible, since they had just said nothing was

36
00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:36,920
Speaker 2: finalized and I'll already be in Vegas a month later,

37
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:40,560
Speaker 2: her fiance called me a b and acted like I

38
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,520
Speaker 2: should have known for eight years that this was their

39
00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:46,200
Speaker 2: special date. I genuinely had no idea. On top of that,

40
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,760
Speaker 2: because it's during the week, I'd also have to miss

41
00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:51,200
Speaker 2: classes to attend. It's not the end of the world,

42
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,960
Speaker 2: but it's another factor. I love my sister and her

43
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:57,280
Speaker 2: fiance and want to support them, but it feels unfair

44
00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,680
Speaker 2: to be expected to work for free, cover all my expenses,

45
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:05,280
Speaker 2: miss class, and then get insulted just for asking about flexibility.

46
00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,480
Speaker 2: I haven't brought up covering the flight yet, but now

47
00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:10,440
Speaker 2: I'm worried that if I do, it'll come across as selfish,

48
00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,760
Speaker 2: even though the cost of the flight is the same

49
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,360
Speaker 2: as what I charge for a basic session, and I'd

50
00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:18,320
Speaker 2: still be giving them way more than that in free photos.

51
00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:20,359
Speaker 2: So would I be the aole if I asked them

52
00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:23,200
Speaker 2: to cover at least my flight? Or is this just

53
00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:26,560
Speaker 2: a family mean, just sacrifice type of situation? And how

54
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,640
Speaker 2: do I even approach this without making things worse? And

55
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,120
Speaker 2: at it, they are planning on having a bigger wedding

56
00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:35,080
Speaker 2: in a few years, with more family and friends, more traditional,

57
00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:37,639
Speaker 2: et cetera. They're wanting to get married now for benefits

58
00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:40,480
Speaker 2: like health insurance from my sister's job. And there is

59
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,600
Speaker 2: an update. But do you have any thoughts?

60
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:44,600
Speaker 4: I think it's fair to say, Hey, I'm going to

61
00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:47,639
Speaker 4: photograph your guys's wedding for free. If you guys could

62
00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:51,320
Speaker 4: help me out with the flight, that would be much appreciated. Yeah,

63
00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:53,560
Speaker 4: even if it's like not the full flight, if you

64
00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:55,200
Speaker 4: can get like one hundred bucks one hundred and fifty

65
00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:57,440
Speaker 4: bucks to make at least make it easier on you, Yeah,

66
00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:57,840
Speaker 4: I don't know.

67
00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,280
Speaker 2: I'm pretty i'd be pretty upset that they want me

68
00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:02,400
Speaker 2: to work at their wedding and not pay me.

69
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:05,520
Speaker 4: That's true, but this kind of sounds like a very

70
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:08,959
Speaker 4: small like yeah, like they're gonna do a bigger one

71
00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:10,200
Speaker 4: later though.

72
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,000
Speaker 2: He doesn't have to shoot that one too well.

73
00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:13,880
Speaker 4: Hopefully they are. They're a point later. If they can

74
00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:16,720
Speaker 4: pay for a bigger venue, they can pay you for that.

75
00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:17,519
Speaker 5: Update.

76
00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:20,400
Speaker 2: Hi everyone, This is an update to my original post

77
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,560
Speaker 2: about photographing my sister's last minute Vegas wedding. A lot

78
00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:26,240
Speaker 2: has happened since then, and I realized there was much

79
00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:30,120
Speaker 2: more backstory and context that I didn't originally include. First,

80
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,480
Speaker 2: I want to clarify that the person causing all the

81
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:36,000
Speaker 2: major issues is not my sister, but my sister in law,

82
00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:39,400
Speaker 2: my sister's now wife. She was the fiance in my

83
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:43,080
Speaker 2: original post. My sister has her moments and plays a role,

84
00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:47,680
Speaker 2: but the conflict and disrespect almost always comes directly from

85
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:50,680
Speaker 2: her wife. When I posted last the wedding was still upcoming.

86
00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:53,000
Speaker 2: I did end up going to Vegas, and I brought

87
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,840
Speaker 2: my boyfriend along. We honestly had a great time together.

88
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:59,000
Speaker 2: That part of the trip was actually wonderful. However, the

89
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:02,560
Speaker 2: wedding itself was a extremely thrown together. They gave me

90
00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:06,720
Speaker 2: barely any notice, never communicated what photos they wanted, never

91
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,160
Speaker 2: gave me a timeline, and didn't even tell me when

92
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:12,360
Speaker 2: or where anyone would be getting ready. There was absolutely

93
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:14,880
Speaker 2: no plan at all. It wasn't a situation where I

94
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,760
Speaker 2: was supposed to know the timeline. There literally wasn't one.

95
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,360
Speaker 2: We also weren't anywhere near each other while getting ready.

96
00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:23,600
Speaker 2: Anyone familiar with the Venetian in Las Vegas knows how

97
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:26,239
Speaker 2: massive it is. I was staying on the palazzo side

98
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:28,240
Speaker 2: and my sister in law was staying in the Venetian

99
00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:30,920
Speaker 2: tower on the opposite end of the property. He never

100
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:35,000
Speaker 2: texted me or asked me to come take getting ready photos.

101
00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:38,480
Speaker 2: There was no communication. Now she's furious that I didn't

102
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:41,440
Speaker 2: somehow show up automatically. She's acting like it was common

103
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:44,560
Speaker 2: sense for me to wander a giant hotel, hoping I

104
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:46,960
Speaker 2: would magically know to come into her room at the

105
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:49,239
Speaker 2: right time. After the wedding, I sent her a sneak

106
00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:52,279
Speaker 2: peak of about sixty edited photos a week later because

107
00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:54,960
Speaker 2: she requested them right away. When I sent them She

108
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:58,160
Speaker 2: made me screen share the entire gallery for almost two

109
00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:02,200
Speaker 2: hours while she nipped every photo, told me exactly which

110
00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:05,440
Speaker 2: one she wanted edited immediately. I did it just to

111
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:08,159
Speaker 2: keep the peace. Today, at around nine am, out of nowhere,

112
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,919
Speaker 2: she called me and completely erupt it. She told me

113
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,360
Speaker 2: I need to give her all the photos right now,

114
00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:16,839
Speaker 2: accuse me of pretending to be a professional, and called

115
00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,719
Speaker 2: me a seat word repeatedly. She said talking to me

116
00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:22,040
Speaker 2: is like talking to a wall, and then hung up

117
00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:25,480
Speaker 2: on me. There was no discussion, just straight yapping for context.

118
00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:28,360
Speaker 2: I charged her three hundred dollars for the wedding, even

119
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:31,479
Speaker 2: though my normal wedding rate is fifteen hundred dollars or more.

120
00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:35,359
Speaker 2: There was no contract, no timeline, no deadlines discussed. She

121
00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:39,600
Speaker 2: knows I'm overloaded with school and internship, my photography business,

122
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:42,599
Speaker 2: and my living situation. She also knows I'm barely holding

123
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:46,400
Speaker 2: on academically, close to failing classes, and I genuinely need

124
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:49,440
Speaker 2: to graduate in the spring because I need health insurance.

125
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:53,040
Speaker 2: My priorities right now genuinely need to be my school work.

126
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:55,360
Speaker 2: Despite all of that, she expects her photos to come

127
00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:58,720
Speaker 2: before everything else. Unfortunately, this kind of explosion from her

128
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:02,200
Speaker 2: isn't new. A few weeks after we got back from Vegas,

129
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,480
Speaker 2: we all went out for Halloween. Both of us were

130
00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:08,040
Speaker 2: running behind because of separate family events earlier in the evening.

131
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,960
Speaker 2: On the way to her house, I accidentally got bronzer

132
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:13,360
Speaker 2: on my white tights while doing makeup in the car.

133
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,200
Speaker 2: When I got there, I asked if I could use

134
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,279
Speaker 2: a makeup wipe, and she told me to wait while

135
00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:20,480
Speaker 2: she looked for my cellar water. She then disappeared outside

136
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:23,440
Speaker 2: for nearly an hour to smoke Devil's lettuce. Okay, okay,

137
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,920
Speaker 2: so she said, I'm gonna go get my cellar water

138
00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:29,200
Speaker 2: and then never comes back. Yeah, the makeup wipes were

139
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:32,440
Speaker 2: sitting on the bathroom counter, and she owns one hundreds

140
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,720
Speaker 2: of them, so said she didn't return. I used one

141
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:37,080
Speaker 2: single wipe to get the scene off. Later in casual

142
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:40,480
Speaker 2: conversation I mentioned how well it worked. She immediately flew

143
00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:43,640
Speaker 2: into our rage, demanding to know why I touched her

144
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,640
Speaker 2: stuff without asking, calling me a witch, and accusing me

145
00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:50,719
Speaker 2: of violating her boundaries over one makeup wipe. I apologized

146
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:53,400
Speaker 2: and offered to buy more wipes, but she wouldn't stop.

147
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,760
Speaker 2: I made an offhand joke that I sounded like my

148
00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:59,520
Speaker 2: younger sister for a second, and she snapped back, now

149
00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:02,159
Speaker 2: like your mother. I haven't spoken to my mother in

150
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,800
Speaker 2: almost eight years. She knows all of this. There is

151
00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:09,560
Speaker 2: no world where that comment was anything but deliberately cruel.

152
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:12,200
Speaker 2: I immediately went silent and locked myself in the bathroom

153
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:15,600
Speaker 2: until I could calm down. She has never apologized. This

154
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:19,520
Speaker 2: wasn't the first time she's used extremely personal, painful things

155
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,880
Speaker 2: as ammunition, and part of why everything she does hits

156
00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:25,360
Speaker 2: so hard is because of something that happened earlier this

157
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:28,920
Speaker 2: year that I haven't fully explained until now. Back in March,

158
00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:30,760
Speaker 2: I was about to move into an apartment I had

159
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,320
Speaker 2: signed a lease for before realizing it was in a

160
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:37,520
Speaker 2: dangerous neighborhood, broken windows, bad street activity, the works. The

161
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:39,800
Speaker 2: very next day, I found a house listed in my

162
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:43,080
Speaker 2: dream neighborhood, a small, two bedroom home for nine hundred

163
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:46,160
Speaker 2: dollars a month, absolutely unheard of where I live. I

164
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:48,720
Speaker 2: viewed it. The landlord loved me, and he picked me

165
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,800
Speaker 2: out of other applicants. But I panicked because I thought

166
00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:54,040
Speaker 2: I couldn't break my lease and no that was an option.

167
00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:56,640
Speaker 2: So I immediately and stupidly called my sister in law

168
00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:58,840
Speaker 2: and offered the house to them instead. They weren't even

169
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:01,200
Speaker 2: looking to move. They still I led months left on

170
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:03,200
Speaker 2: their lease, and I had to convince them to even

171
00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:05,680
Speaker 2: consider it. Within an hour of hanging up, I realized

172
00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:08,200
Speaker 2: I had made a huge mistake. I was crying and panicking,

173
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:10,280
Speaker 2: realizing this was the one place I could afford and

174
00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:13,360
Speaker 2: my only shot at living alone. I begged them for days,

175
00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,800
Speaker 2: sobbing and pleading on the phone, explaining that I would

176
00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:17,960
Speaker 2: have nowhere to go when my current place ended in

177
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,800
Speaker 2: two weeks. They ignored all of that and took the

178
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:23,800
Speaker 2: house anyway. They make over one hundred k year combined.

179
00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,960
Speaker 2: They could afford dozens of other options. I make a

180
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:30,160
Speaker 2: fraction of that opie. You literally begged them to take it.

181
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,760
Speaker 2: You begged them to take it. This was the only

182
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:35,520
Speaker 2: house I could afford in that neighborhood. I did eventually

183
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:38,000
Speaker 2: break my original lease, but it didn't matter. The house

184
00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,240
Speaker 2: was gone. They signed it and moved into it, while

185
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:43,000
Speaker 2: I moved into a tiny bedroom at my grandma's house

186
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:45,840
Speaker 2: with a toddler she fosters. Every time I go to

187
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,280
Speaker 2: their house, I am reminded it should have been mine

188
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:51,040
Speaker 2: and to make it sting worse, they used the second bedroom,

189
00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:53,120
Speaker 2: the room that would have been my office, as a

190
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:57,160
Speaker 2: devil's lettuce smoking storage room. They never acknowledged how badly

191
00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:00,280
Speaker 2: they hurt me, not once. I don't think you can

192
00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,480
Speaker 2: be mad about this one. You've gotta be honest. I

193
00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:05,000
Speaker 2: don't think that you can be mad about this one.

194
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,360
Speaker 2: I still don't really understand why you begged them to

195
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:07,720
Speaker 2: take it.

196
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:11,079
Speaker 4: Oh, p you moved because you were or that you've

197
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:15,880
Speaker 4: made decisions based on not complete information and reactionary and

198
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:19,240
Speaker 4: came back to bite you in the butt. And now

199
00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:21,880
Speaker 4: you have to sleep in the bed you made.

200
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, in your grandma's house, in.

201
00:09:23,679 --> 00:09:24,959
Speaker 4: Your grandma's house with a toddler.

202
00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,040
Speaker 2: All of that has been sitting in the background of

203
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:29,880
Speaker 2: every interaction I have with them. So when my sister

204
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:33,680
Speaker 2: in law calls me, names, insults, my work, mocks my trauma,

205
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:37,480
Speaker 2: or explodes over something trivial, it isn't happening in a vacuum.

206
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,400
Speaker 2: It's happening on top of the most painful housing experience

207
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,600
Speaker 2: of my life, my financial struggles, my academic stress, and

208
00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:46,840
Speaker 2: my general mental health issues. I have so little family

209
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:49,640
Speaker 2: as it is. My grandma, my dad and my two sisters.

210
00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:53,320
Speaker 2: So losing the relationship with my sister feels terrifyed of

211
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:56,560
Speaker 2: being treated like this is becoming unbearable. I don't know

212
00:09:56,559 --> 00:09:58,599
Speaker 2: what to do anymore. I feel like my sister in

213
00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:01,079
Speaker 2: law has zero respect for me at all. I feel

214
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,720
Speaker 2: like everything I do is in service to their convenience,

215
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:07,600
Speaker 2: not out of general care now and not out of

216
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:10,720
Speaker 2: genuine care. And now even the wedding photos something I

217
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,520
Speaker 2: did out of love and for a fraction of my

218
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,360
Speaker 2: normal rate, I've become another way for her to belittle

219
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:19,960
Speaker 2: and control me. I'm exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically. I

220
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,000
Speaker 2: don't know if I should finish the photos and go

221
00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:25,160
Speaker 2: low contact, confront her, talk to my sister privately, or

222
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,679
Speaker 2: just step away entirely. I don't want to blow up

223
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,680
Speaker 2: my family, but I also don't want to keep being

224
00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:33,400
Speaker 2: the punching bag for someone who seems committed to hurting me.

225
00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:34,959
Speaker 5: And that's the end of that story.

226
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,640
Speaker 4: I called out my mother in front of everyone and

227
00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:40,720
Speaker 4: embarrassed her in the process.

228
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,400
Speaker 2: Want to do this time? Mother?

229
00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:44,959
Speaker 4: To preface this, my mom and I have a good

230
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:49,000
Speaker 4: Relationshipn't that only problem is my mom is the type

231
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:51,720
Speaker 4: to share news about what's happening in my life despite

232
00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:52,880
Speaker 4: me asking.

233
00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:53,280
Speaker 3: Her not to.

234
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:56,040
Speaker 4: Classic I don't like my life being discussed like it's

235
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,920
Speaker 4: an everyday topic, and I find it especially creepy when

236
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:01,840
Speaker 4: people that I really don't know well, like friends or

237
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:05,320
Speaker 4: coworkers of my mom, approach me in public and start

238
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:09,240
Speaker 4: asking me about something that I never told them about myself.

239
00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:14,160
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from username radiant disaster six fourteen.

240
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:16,920
Speaker 4: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

241
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:20,920
Speaker 4: to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Vincent, I'm Sophia,

242
00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:22,880
Speaker 4: and we are here to give good advice goofy, but

243
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:25,360
Speaker 4: we don't got all the answers. We only know what

244
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,480
Speaker 4: we would do, so tell us what you would do

245
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:29,920
Speaker 4: in the comments. And these aren't little things like I

246
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,520
Speaker 4: started a new hobby or I'm planning to take a vacation.

247
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,880
Speaker 4: These are big events that are really no one else's

248
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,760
Speaker 4: business but my own. For example, when I was eleven,

249
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:43,439
Speaker 4: I got my first period. She told everyone all about

250
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:47,600
Speaker 4: it on Facebook and couldn't understand why I was so

251
00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:50,440
Speaker 4: embarrassed and didn't want to talk to her about anything

252
00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:52,680
Speaker 4: else that happening in my life. As a result of

253
00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:55,720
Speaker 4: this habit, she has also developed a habit of sharing

254
00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:58,800
Speaker 4: my good news with people before I had a chance

255
00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:00,720
Speaker 4: to do it. I told her I got accepted into

256
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,680
Speaker 4: the College of my Dreams, and she told everyone what

257
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:07,080
Speaker 4: happened before I had the chance. She did it again

258
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:10,080
Speaker 4: then when I got engaged a few years later, and

259
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:13,080
Speaker 4: she even told everyone our wedding day before we had

260
00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:16,080
Speaker 4: a chance to send it out in invitations or form

261
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:19,720
Speaker 4: a guest list. My husband has sided with me whenever

262
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:22,840
Speaker 4: I've asked her to stop doing this and to stop

263
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:26,640
Speaker 4: sharing news that I or we don't want shared. We

264
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:30,079
Speaker 4: want to confide in her and have her in our lives,

265
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:34,680
Speaker 4: but her inability to contain her excitement is really driving

266
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:37,480
Speaker 4: us up a wall. Now onto the reason behind this post.

267
00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:40,960
Speaker 4: Me twenty four female, and my husband, twenty four male,

268
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:44,360
Speaker 4: have been together for six years. We met in college,

269
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,199
Speaker 4: hit it off, dated for four years, and have been

270
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:49,800
Speaker 4: married for two years. We've agreed that we are going

271
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:52,640
Speaker 4: to focus on our education and careers and not have

272
00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:55,760
Speaker 4: any children. Neither of us see our futures including kids,

273
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:59,240
Speaker 4: and that hasn't changed in the six years we've been together,

274
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:02,439
Speaker 4: despite every every one insisting we change our minds or

275
00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:06,680
Speaker 4: catch baby fever once our friends start having kids. My

276
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:10,200
Speaker 4: husband has five siblings, three brothers and two sisters, and

277
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:14,320
Speaker 4: they all have kids, yet our minds haven't changed. My

278
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,160
Speaker 4: mom is one of the people who is adamant that

279
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:20,400
Speaker 4: we'll change our minds and have kids someday, and she

280
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:23,480
Speaker 4: makes it very clear she wants to be a grandmother

281
00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:28,040
Speaker 4: at every opportunity she gets. I can understand her wanting grandkids,

282
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:31,360
Speaker 4: and as her only child, I understand why she only

283
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:35,480
Speaker 4: has me as her living family, which means her whole

284
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:40,120
Speaker 4: world really revolves around me. My dad passed away when

285
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:43,160
Speaker 4: I was six from injuries in a car accident, so

286
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:46,240
Speaker 4: it's just been me and my mom ever since. She

287
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,960
Speaker 4: wanted more kids after I was born, but my parents

288
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:51,840
Speaker 4: didn't have the money or the time to raise more children,

289
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:55,800
Speaker 4: and as a result, she doted all over me. Despite

290
00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:58,959
Speaker 4: telling her many times that kids aren't in my future plans,

291
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:02,080
Speaker 4: my mom insan that it's going to happen. Every little

292
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:05,720
Speaker 4: thing I complained about from working crazy schedule hours because

293
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:08,439
Speaker 4: I travel a lot for work. She hints that maybe

294
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:11,920
Speaker 4: it's not just fatigue or a headache or motion sickness

295
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:15,360
Speaker 4: that it's the first signs of pregnancy, and that I

296
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:19,320
Speaker 4: should take a test. I am not pregnant and haven't

297
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,240
Speaker 4: even had so much as a scare since my husband

298
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:26,440
Speaker 4: and I are very careful. This past summer, however, something

299
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:30,040
Speaker 4: health wise didn't add up to my usual traveling fatigue.

300
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,640
Speaker 4: I stopped getting my periods, so I took a pregnancy

301
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:34,760
Speaker 4: test and it was negative. I took two more tests

302
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:38,000
Speaker 4: when I missed two more periods, and they were all negative.

303
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:42,560
Speaker 4: I also noticed I was getting a small belly despite

304
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:46,080
Speaker 4: not having any changes in my diet or exercise routines.

305
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:49,600
Speaker 4: I was thoroughly exhausted and felt like I was constantly

306
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:50,760
Speaker 4: on the verge of getting the flu.

307
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,080
Speaker 2: Okay, we gotta go to the doctor because that might

308
00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:56,000
Speaker 2: be like a camp stumer or something.

309
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:59,160
Speaker 4: Well, and I agreed that. Her husband and her agreed

310
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:02,600
Speaker 4: to go see the I made appointment near the beginning

311
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:05,600
Speaker 4: of November of this year. Told my doctor what I

312
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:08,920
Speaker 4: had been noticing, the negative tests and the miss periods,

313
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,960
Speaker 4: but I was certain I wasn't pregnant. She agreed to

314
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,800
Speaker 4: run a blood test to rule out pregnancy and confirm

315
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,960
Speaker 4: that I was in fact not pregnant. It was then

316
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:21,280
Speaker 4: She and my gynecologists agreed that I need to have

317
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:24,320
Speaker 4: an ultrasound to see what was happening inside my abdomen.

318
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:28,760
Speaker 4: That's when they discovered a very large fibroid tumor growing

319
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:29,640
Speaker 4: in my uterus.

320
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:30,000
Speaker 5: Yep.

321
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:33,240
Speaker 2: Whenever, if you ever women, ladies out there, or people

322
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,880
Speaker 2: that have uteruses, if you ever have an experience where

323
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:41,680
Speaker 2: you're notice like wakean pregnancy symptoms like or like pregnancy

324
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:45,240
Speaker 2: signals like not getting your period and stuff, and you

325
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:48,360
Speaker 2: are you know, not pregnant, No, you're not pregnant, have

326
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:51,560
Speaker 2: taken tests. It's usually a tumor and get that checked out.

327
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:54,520
Speaker 4: The tumor was about the size of a softball and

328
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:57,640
Speaker 4: had grown in such a way that it was essentially

329
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:02,080
Speaker 4: plugging up my pelvis and preventing my monthly period from escaping.

330
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:05,440
Speaker 4: My doctors agreed I needed surgery to have the tumor removed,

331
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:08,080
Speaker 4: but that I'd have to wait a few more weeks

332
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,920
Speaker 4: for the procedure. My surgery was scheduled for this past Saturday,

333
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:15,680
Speaker 4: November twenty ninth, and since then, I've had the surgery

334
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:18,720
Speaker 4: and I am recovering well in bed with my husband

335
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:21,240
Speaker 4: at my side. Due to the surgery taking place. After

336
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,920
Speaker 4: this past Thanksgiving, and since I was no longer traveling

337
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,040
Speaker 4: for work, my husband and I were able to go

338
00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:29,240
Speaker 4: to my mom's house and celebrate the holiday. That also

339
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,480
Speaker 4: meant I was able to go out shopping with my

340
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:34,560
Speaker 4: mom and buy groceries and prepare a meal since she'd

341
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:38,520
Speaker 4: be hosting it and my aunt's uncles and cousins over

342
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,360
Speaker 4: for the day. Well, you can guess what happened. She

343
00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:43,960
Speaker 4: saw that I had a bit of a belly growing

344
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:47,280
Speaker 4: on me. She got all excited and insisted that we'd

345
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:50,360
Speaker 4: go look at baby clothes, even though I told her

346
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:53,960
Speaker 4: I was not pregnant. It took me telling her repeatedly,

347
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:57,000
Speaker 4: getting a little louder each time, before she stopped trying

348
00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:59,200
Speaker 4: to drag me to the baby section of the store.

349
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:01,160
Speaker 4: I told her that I I was going through something

350
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,840
Speaker 4: very personal and that I wasn't going to tell anyone

351
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:07,320
Speaker 4: in the family, including my husband's side, until after Thanksgiving.

352
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:10,399
Speaker 4: She kept badgering me to tell her what was really

353
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:13,560
Speaker 4: going on, but since she has a track record of

354
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,800
Speaker 4: not being able to keep sensitive information to herself, I

355
00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:20,000
Speaker 4: didn't tell her. I again reminded her that I was

356
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:23,080
Speaker 4: waiting until after Thanksgiving. Pass to share the news. She

357
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:26,639
Speaker 4: seemed fine with it. We finished our shopping and that

358
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:30,280
Speaker 4: was that, at least I thought so until Thanksgiving dinner

359
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:33,520
Speaker 4: a few nights later. This is where the a hole

360
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:36,720
Speaker 4: part may come in. My family gathered at the table

361
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,440
Speaker 4: and having a good time talking to each other, having

362
00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:42,560
Speaker 4: some food, and just catching up on everything. I wasn't

363
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:46,280
Speaker 4: eating as much as I want because of the impending surgery,

364
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,240
Speaker 4: and of course I wasn't drinking any wine.

365
00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:49,679
Speaker 3: Again.

366
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,760
Speaker 4: My mom took this as another sign I was pregnant,

367
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:57,960
Speaker 4: no nausea and avoiding booze, and kept hinting it at

368
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,560
Speaker 4: the table. I put my hand on her, looked her

369
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:02,679
Speaker 4: in the eyes and reminded her yet again that I

370
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:07,479
Speaker 4: wasn't pregnant. But she got this look like I get it,

371
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,480
Speaker 4: you want to keep it a secret and seem to

372
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:11,560
Speaker 4: be set in her ways.

373
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:16,720
Speaker 2: It's right, you're not pregnant. I'm not, aren't woo.

374
00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:22,040
Speaker 4: There's so there's something like I know what's gonna happen next, Yeah,

375
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:23,879
Speaker 4: and she's gonna be like, why didn't you tell me?

376
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:27,600
Speaker 4: And you're gonna be like I told you literally.

377
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,720
Speaker 1: Fifty times, I was not pregnant.

378
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:31,960
Speaker 4: I was not pregnant, but I didn't.

379
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,560
Speaker 2: Realize that meant that you weren't pregnant.

380
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,240
Speaker 4: Just as the desserts were being brought out, my mom

381
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:39,080
Speaker 4: decided that she want to share what we were thankful

382
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:42,640
Speaker 4: for for that year. That's a tradition in our family,

383
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:45,520
Speaker 4: and it's not unusual for people to speak up at

384
00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:47,959
Speaker 4: dinner at the dinner table, But when it came to

385
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,560
Speaker 4: my mom's term, she blurted out the lies she had

386
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:53,960
Speaker 4: been believing and held up a brand new baby onesie

387
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:56,760
Speaker 4: that she had been hiding somewhere in the kitchen to

388
00:18:56,800 --> 00:19:00,240
Speaker 4: announce my non pregnancy to my family everyone. He got

389
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:03,000
Speaker 4: all excited for me and turned to congratulate me and

390
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:07,359
Speaker 4: my husband, and I had enough. I told everyone up front,

391
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:10,800
Speaker 4: loud and clear, that I wasn't pregnant. I told them

392
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,080
Speaker 4: I had been telling my mom for days that I

393
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:17,280
Speaker 4: wasn't pregnant and that I had a different matter going

394
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:20,119
Speaker 4: on that I wanted to keep quiet until after the holidays,

395
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:23,760
Speaker 4: but if she insisted that we all share news of

396
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,600
Speaker 4: what we're grateful for, I was going to speak next.

397
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,600
Speaker 4: I told everyone I was grateful for having such a loving,

398
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:33,040
Speaker 4: supportive husband at my side, who was helping me through

399
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:37,280
Speaker 4: my current health scare and impending surgery, and that he

400
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,800
Speaker 4: was doing it without blabbing about it to our entire family.

401
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,280
Speaker 4: In the process, I said, I was grateful to have

402
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:45,679
Speaker 4: someone in my life who actually listens to what I

403
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:49,360
Speaker 4: say and doesn't insist that he somehow knows better than

404
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,000
Speaker 4: I do, especially when it.

405
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:53,480
Speaker 1: Comes to my own health.

406
00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:58,680
Speaker 4: After that, I just got up from the table and left.

407
00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:02,960
Speaker 4: My husband followed me androge and held his arm around

408
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:06,720
Speaker 4: me the entire drive home as I cried in frustration

409
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:11,040
Speaker 4: at what my mom did and how she again embarrassed

410
00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:14,280
Speaker 4: me and tried to usurp what I thought was good

411
00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:17,400
Speaker 4: news from me. We got home, I cried some more

412
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:20,040
Speaker 4: and went to sleep and turned off my phone so

413
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,439
Speaker 4: I could focus on preparing for my surgery and not

414
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:26,000
Speaker 4: stress about anything. The surgery was a success, nice the

415
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:30,080
Speaker 4: tumor was removed and determined to be benign augh, But

416
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:32,879
Speaker 4: due to its size and location and how much it

417
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:37,199
Speaker 4: ingrained itself in my uterus over the past six or

418
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:42,040
Speaker 4: so months, I had a partial hysterectomy. Ow During my recovery,

419
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:45,320
Speaker 4: I've begun to wonder if I was too harsh on

420
00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:47,960
Speaker 4: my mom for calling her out in front of the family,

421
00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:51,080
Speaker 4: but my husband insists that since I've tried to put

422
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:54,560
Speaker 4: up with that particular boundary of not sharing my personal

423
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,439
Speaker 4: news with other people for most of my life, and

424
00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:00,480
Speaker 4: since she continues to cross it, I am not the ale.

425
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:02,760
Speaker 4: I still feel bad, though, and I want to reach

426
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:05,119
Speaker 4: out to my mom, but I don't know what to say.

427
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:06,040
Speaker 4: We have an update.

428
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:06,400
Speaker 3: Wow.

429
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,239
Speaker 4: First of all, thank you everyone who weighed in and

430
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,840
Speaker 4: helped put my mind to ease. For those who shared

431
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,600
Speaker 4: their own stories, I'm sorry you went through something terrible

432
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,399
Speaker 4: as well, and I'm glad you're all doing much better.

433
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:21,920
Speaker 4: It's reassuring to know that my comment, while harsh, was warranted.

434
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:25,280
Speaker 4: Stop telling me my mom is horrible. This negative incident

435
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,800
Speaker 4: and the others I mentioned are just a handful of

436
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,639
Speaker 4: events that are greatly overshadowed by all the wonderful things

437
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:34,600
Speaker 4: my mom has done for me. She's not a perfect parent,

438
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,840
Speaker 4: but she never once made me feel as if I

439
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:40,480
Speaker 4: was unloved or unwanted. She helped me when I cried

440
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:42,679
Speaker 4: over losing my dad, even when it felt like I

441
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,000
Speaker 4: was crying every day. She helped me when I cried

442
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,399
Speaker 4: over losing my dog. She held me when I cried

443
00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:50,600
Speaker 4: over breaking up with my first boyfriend. She attended every

444
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:53,960
Speaker 4: basketball game I ever played, never missed a special event

445
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,720
Speaker 4: in my life at school or in my social life,

446
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 4: and she supported me throughout college without ever asking for

447
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:02,480
Speaker 4: anything in return. She went well out of her way

448
00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:04,919
Speaker 4: to help me find the perfect wedding Betty, when I

449
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,760
Speaker 4: was stressed out over planning my wedding. She always took

450
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 4: care of me when I was sick or injured. She

451
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:13,240
Speaker 4: even gave shelter to one of my friends who was

452
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:16,240
Speaker 4: in a dangerous family situation, and she did it without

453
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:19,600
Speaker 4: expecting anything in return. She also volunteers down at the

454
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 4: local animal shelter to help take care of cats and

455
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:26,200
Speaker 4: dogs that need extra love. She did a terrible thing,

456
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:29,560
Speaker 4: but that doesn't mean she's a terrible person. Another amendment,

457
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:32,480
Speaker 4: I am not going to go no contact over this situation.

458
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:36,040
Speaker 4: A lot of people suggest this after having decided that

459
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:40,120
Speaker 4: I don't understand my own relationship with my mom by

460
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,959
Speaker 4: reading this one post. I'm not going to cut her

461
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:46,000
Speaker 4: off after I finally work up the nerve to call

462
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:49,159
Speaker 4: her out. If she doesn't change her ways, then I

463
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,840
Speaker 4: simply won't confide in her. But I will not cut

464
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 4: her out of my life completely. Yes she did reach

465
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 4: out to me, and yes she did apologize. She sent

466
00:22:57,080 --> 00:23:00,520
Speaker 4: flowers to my hospital room the day after my with

467
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:03,840
Speaker 4: an apology card and texted an apology as well. She

468
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,800
Speaker 4: admits that she was way out of line and that

469
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:10,320
Speaker 4: she doesn't listen to me, and she has promised from

470
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,240
Speaker 4: now on she'll do better when it comes to listening

471
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,359
Speaker 4: to what I say. I'm willing to give her the

472
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,439
Speaker 4: benefit of the doubt and give her a second chance.

473
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,200
Speaker 4: My recovery is going well. I'm still having some pain

474
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:23,879
Speaker 4: through my abdomen, especially around the incision site, but I

475
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:28,439
Speaker 4: have no infections, negative side effects, or postoperative complications. My

476
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 4: husband has been taking care of me. His parents have

477
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,200
Speaker 4: stopped by to help with errands and make sure I'm

478
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:37,359
Speaker 4: resting well and just keep me company while I'm recovering

479
00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:39,439
Speaker 4: on the couch all day. My mom stopped by and

480
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:43,359
Speaker 4: brought me my favorite cheese cake to help me feel better,

481
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,680
Speaker 4: and genuinely seems apologetic for what she said and did.

482
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:48,400
Speaker 2: I think, at the end of the day, I think

483
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,919
Speaker 2: you can have whatever relationship you're comfortable with having with

484
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 2: your mom. It's just knowing what you can and can't tell.

485
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:57,439
Speaker 4: Her breaking through in this way. Yeah, the little verbal

486
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,920
Speaker 4: Smacky gave her is working. To those of you share

487
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:03,560
Speaker 4: your own stories of needing a similar surgery as I did.

488
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,560
Speaker 4: I am glad to know others went through what I've

489
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,440
Speaker 4: gone through and are thriving. It gives me hope that

490
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 4: now that the surgery is over and that tumor is

491
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:14,000
Speaker 4: out of my body, I'll start feeling like my old

492
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,879
Speaker 4: self again. Thank you for all of your input. I

493
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:20,280
Speaker 4: will consider having my mom and I sit down to

494
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:22,639
Speaker 4: have a discussion not as a mother and daughter, but

495
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:26,159
Speaker 4: as person to person when it comes to respecting boundaries.

496
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,920
Speaker 4: A lot of you have pointed out that my mom

497
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,320
Speaker 4: seems to have and meshed herself into my life, and

498
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,680
Speaker 4: you're right. After my dad passed away, I was all

499
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:39,200
Speaker 4: she had left since our extended family lives out of state.

500
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 4: I'll suggest she speaks to a therapist or a grief

501
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:44,880
Speaker 4: counselor so we can work on ridding ourselves of our

502
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:46,159
Speaker 4: own demons.

503
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:48,399
Speaker 2: And that is all, and that's all she wrote.

504
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:50,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, I definitely think some therapies. Yeah, it would be

505
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:51,360
Speaker 4: good for.

506
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,959
Speaker 2: The loss of your father. And then are you know

507
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 2: grappling with the change of relationship with your mom. And

508
00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:00,479
Speaker 2: but we've got another story coming right up.

509
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 6: My father saw something he was never supposed to and.

510
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:05,720
Speaker 7: Now he's furious.

511
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 5: Rah, that's your father.

512
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 6: He sounds like you buck. My dad fifty two male

513
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:16,240
Speaker 6: walked in on me, twenty six male, having spicy sleep

514
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,600
Speaker 6: with my girlfriend twenty five female, and now he's being weird.

515
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 6: We're out of town and all staying in the house

516
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:23,639
Speaker 6: that my girlfriend and I are paying for him. We

517
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:25,520
Speaker 6: thought we were going to be alone for a few

518
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,639
Speaker 6: hours because that's what they told us. And he was

519
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,720
Speaker 6: opening doors without knocking. By the way, this comes from

520
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:33,960
Speaker 6: Throwaway Oh two six seven five, And if you want

521
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 6: ubmit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

522
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 6: storytime subredd it. I'm Carly, I'm Angie, and we're here

523
00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:41,280
Speaker 6: to give good advice goofy. But we don't have all

524
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 6: the answers. We only know what we would do, so

525
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:44,640
Speaker 6: let us know what you would do in the comments.

526
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:47,200
Speaker 6: I can move past it and be an adult. It's awkward,

527
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:50,320
Speaker 6: but whatever. My dad just feels really weird about it,

528
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:53,439
Speaker 6: which I understand because I feel weird too. I just

529
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:55,480
Speaker 6: think he might be taking it too far, and I

530
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:56,560
Speaker 6: want this to stop.

531
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:57,679
Speaker 5: To be fair, it.

532
00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,480
Speaker 6: Wasn't exactly spicy sleep, and I think I would rather

533
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 6: him see me having spicy sleep than what he saw.

534
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:07,359
Speaker 6: I don't want to describe it graphically, but I was

535
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:10,280
Speaker 6: going down on my girlfriend. Both of us were being vocal,

536
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 6: and it was a little bit kinky. I was very

537
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,440
Speaker 6: into it. It was overwhelming to see. I'm sure all

538
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:18,679
Speaker 6: of us were embarrassed. My girlfriend cried, but after a

539
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:23,040
Speaker 6: second we were fine. My father is acting absolutely insane.

540
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 6: A few hours later, mind you, after I had cleaned

541
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,959
Speaker 6: myself up and changed my clothes, I hugged my grandma

542
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 6: and kissed her cheek, and he told me to stop.

543
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 6: He is being weird about my girlfriend of four years

544
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:37,440
Speaker 6: sitting next to me, or me putting my arm around her.

545
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:39,960
Speaker 6: I took a sip from her cup, and he looked

546
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 6: like he was gonna puke. The worst is my cousin

547
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 6: saying I should consider growing out a beard, and my

548
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 6: dad slammed his hand on the table and walked outside

549
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:52,400
Speaker 6: for context. I like body hair, and my girlfriend has

550
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:55,240
Speaker 6: body hair, and my father saw me with my face

551
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:58,199
Speaker 6: buried between her legs, so I think that was just

552
00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:01,359
Speaker 6: too much for him. It's things like this, with many

553
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,920
Speaker 6: more examples if they're needed. I thought we could move

554
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 6: past as adults. But I think I need to talk

555
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,800
Speaker 6: to him. I just don't know what to say. I

556
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:10,159
Speaker 6: can apologize for him having to see that, though I

557
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:10,800
Speaker 6: don't even know.

558
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:11,480
Speaker 2: If that will work.

559
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:12,680
Speaker 5: Would it be better to just.

560
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:15,520
Speaker 6: Keep pretending that never happened, or should I confront him?

561
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,480
Speaker 6: And if I do confront him, what should I say.

562
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:20,679
Speaker 6: It's a little bit much if you ask me, and

563
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:22,840
Speaker 6: I'm sure my mom would just laugh it off. But

564
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,439
Speaker 6: he's acting like it's the end of the world and

565
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:26,639
Speaker 6: we have some comments.

566
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:31,040
Speaker 8: Oh god, my thoughts are just I'm really really hoping

567
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:36,200
Speaker 8: that this never happens to me, either situation, either role.

568
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 7: I hope I've never involved in a situation like that.

569
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:42,199
Speaker 7: Oh God, I don't know.

570
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:44,239
Speaker 5: I think, yeah, you can grow up a little bit.

571
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 8: But also, like, if it's really bothering you, which understandable,

572
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,399
Speaker 8: if it is, take a second to just be away,

573
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:53,119
Speaker 8: just separate from each other. If a beard comment is

574
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:55,680
Speaker 8: gonna throw you like that, like come on.

575
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 6: Comments, remind him two things. One, you and your girlfriend

576
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:01,720
Speaker 6: rent it the house with the intention that it would

577
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:04,199
Speaker 6: be just the two of you for privacy, you know,

578
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:07,160
Speaker 6: to do adult things with each other. Two doors were

579
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:10,639
Speaker 6: invented for a reason, privacy that a normal person understands

580
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:12,840
Speaker 6: that a closed door means you knock and wait for

581
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 6: permission to come in. He needs to get over what

582
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:17,719
Speaker 6: he wasn't meant to see and stop acting like it

583
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 6: wasn't his own fault. OPI replies, Yeah, I don't think

584
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 6: I've emphasized to him, let alone my entire family enough

585
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,280
Speaker 6: that we paid for this rental because we didn't want

586
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:28,080
Speaker 6: to stay with the rest of my family and my

587
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:30,800
Speaker 6: girlfriend liked the pool. Our plan was to stay away

588
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:34,119
Speaker 6: from everyone except when we needed to swim and have

589
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:37,480
Speaker 6: spicy sleep. That has unfortunately changed. Also, that's a good

590
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 6: point I didn't even think about. I mean, yes, it's

591
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 6: a given that he should have knocked, But like in

592
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:44,600
Speaker 6: the rental that I paid for, my man just walking

593
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:46,800
Speaker 6: in rooms when you know we're alone and we have

594
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:49,520
Speaker 6: an update, I would also counter, and I'm not on

595
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,719
Speaker 6: your dad's side, but lock the doors. It's been a

596
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:57,160
Speaker 6: relatively boring few days with a fairly hilarious conclusion. First

597
00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:59,800
Speaker 6: and foremost, thanks to everyone for the advice. I was

598
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,160
Speaker 6: a weird spot when I posted, and I'm thankful that

599
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:04,640
Speaker 6: I had someone to talk to and the different opinions

600
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 6: helped a lot. I didn't reply to everyone, but I

601
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:10,280
Speaker 6: definitely read every single comment. I spoke to my girlfriend

602
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 6: the night I posted, and we had a really good

603
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:15,880
Speaker 6: talk about it. After reading some comments together, we ultimately

604
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 6: decided that if he couldn't act right by dinnertime the

605
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:20,600
Speaker 6: next day, he would have to go stay with his

606
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:22,920
Speaker 6: brother for the remainder of the visit. She was sad

607
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:26,240
Speaker 6: and uncomfortable with how things transpired, but she was really

608
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:29,080
Speaker 6: tough during all of this, and I love her heaps.

609
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:31,400
Speaker 6: The next day, he was weird, but not to the

610
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:33,920
Speaker 6: extent of the first day. I figured he was getting

611
00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:36,280
Speaker 6: over it, and as long as he kept his silliness

612
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 6: to himself, we'd be fine. Funny enough, my mother and grandmother,

613
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 6: Dad's mom pulled me aside and asked if I knew

614
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:44,520
Speaker 6: what was up with my dad. This might have been

615
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 6: the most manipulative thing I've ever done, but I don't

616
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:51,200
Speaker 6: even care because it worked. I put on my best sheepish,

617
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 6: embarrassed look and told them that Dad was upset because

618
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:57,040
Speaker 6: he accidentally saw my girlfriend and I having spicy sleep,

619
00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 6: and we felt so terrible, and my poor girlfriend was

620
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:02,760
Speaker 6: so embarrassed. One thing led to another, and my father

621
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,360
Speaker 6: was being scolded by his wife and his mother for

622
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 6: embarrassing that poor girl and acting like a powdy.

623
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 7: Brat about it.

624
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 6: Okay, I have to say, that is exactly what he did.

625
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 2: Yeah.

626
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:17,280
Speaker 6: I don't think that was wrong or manipulative at all,

627
00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 6: she cried.

628
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,959
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I totally agree.

629
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:26,200
Speaker 7: That's not manipulative at all. That's exactly what you should do. Yeah, yeah, perfect.

630
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 6: My tiny grandmother smacked him.

631
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 5: It was glorious. Oh my god.

632
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 6: This ended in laughter and giggles. My mom thought it

633
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 6: was hilarious. After she was done being irritated with my dad,

634
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:41,080
Speaker 6: all of my extended family found out and laughed. My

635
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:45,320
Speaker 6: girlfriend especially was relieved. He apologized privately to both of us.

636
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 5: It was a good time.

637
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 6: When everyone was widening down for the night, I pulled

638
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 6: my dad aside to talk with him over some crappy

639
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 6: adult soda. He was embarrassed, of course. He apologized for

640
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,120
Speaker 6: acting the way he acted again, and I sort of

641
00:30:57,160 --> 00:31:00,200
Speaker 6: just wanted an explanation. I told him I was mad

642
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,600
Speaker 6: because I know he's not usually like that, and he

643
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 6: was being weird about the smallest things. I apologized for

644
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,320
Speaker 6: him having to see us like that, but told him

645
00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:11,840
Speaker 6: it was ultimately his fault for bursting into rooms without knocking.

646
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,600
Speaker 6: A huge point I made was that this house was

647
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 6: rented because my girlfriend and I didn't want to be

648
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:19,560
Speaker 6: squished with everyone in my uncle's house. But we ended

649
00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 6: up squished with a few less people and unable to

650
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:26,200
Speaker 6: enjoy the tranquility we so desired. Though my girlfriend has

651
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,960
Speaker 6: practically not left the pool, so at least she's enjoying

652
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:31,400
Speaker 6: herself there. We allowed them to stay with us with

653
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,280
Speaker 6: no complaint, and it was immature for him to be

654
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:37,280
Speaker 6: acting the way he was. He apologized again. He just

655
00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:40,240
Speaker 6: said he didn't know what came over him. As I mentioned,

656
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:43,200
Speaker 6: it wasn't exactly vanilla. It was a little kinky, and

657
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:45,440
Speaker 6: he said it was jarring to see and hear. His

658
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 6: thought process was interesting. Also, wait, see and here he

659
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 6: was here and stuff. He still opened that door.

660
00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:53,240
Speaker 8: Yeah, I was wondering that too, because Opie said that

661
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:55,479
Speaker 8: they were both making some noises, So like, do you

662
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:57,280
Speaker 8: not hear that before you get in there?

663
00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 5: Still open the door? Yeah? Come on.

664
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,480
Speaker 6: And for those of you wondering why he walked in

665
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 6: and whether or not he could hear us, I have

666
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:08,520
Speaker 6: an explanation. He absolutely could hear us. I didn't explain

667
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,520
Speaker 6: this in my post, but everyone, all six of my brothers,

668
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,120
Speaker 6: their girlfriends, and my parents had left for a few

669
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:16,880
Speaker 6: hours to go to my uncle's house among three different cars,

670
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 6: and my girlfriend and I stayed back and were going

671
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:21,600
Speaker 6: to join them at dinner time. My father had forgotten

672
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,000
Speaker 6: something at the rental and his group had to come back.

673
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:26,760
Speaker 6: He ran inside to grab it and heard spicy sleep

674
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 6: noises immediately. So again, he has seven sons were all clones.

675
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:34,200
Speaker 6: Sometimes he cycles through all of their names before he

676
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 6: says the right one, and sometimes he never even gets there.

677
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:38,040
Speaker 7: In his head.

678
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:40,920
Speaker 6: He knew my girlfriend stayed but could have sworn that

679
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:43,600
Speaker 6: I was in the car with my mom and that

680
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:47,160
Speaker 6: my oldest brother stayed behind. He was angry for me

681
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:50,840
Speaker 6: at my brother and fully opened the door, thinking he

682
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 6: was going to catch so by Oh.

683
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:55,840
Speaker 7: My god, that is a crazy excuse.

684
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:58,640
Speaker 5: I kind of believed him, but that's.

685
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 7: Still a crazy that's get still, Oh my god.

686
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:05,920
Speaker 6: Instead he opened the door and saw my girlfriend sitting

687
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 6: on my face, and unfortunately froze and stared and processed

688
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:13,760
Speaker 6: until he figured out which son it was and did

689
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:21,480
Speaker 6: proper son girlfriend association and saw it absorbed way too

690
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 6: many details of my girlfriend's unclothed body in ecstasy.

691
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:26,880
Speaker 5: This is crazy.

692
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,959
Speaker 6: He felt like a creep on top of being embarrassed,

693
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 6: and he regretted cataloging everything, thinking he'd need to remember

694
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:38,400
Speaker 6: every detail to recall it to me. Additionally, the dirty

695
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:41,400
Speaker 6: talk was extra and a lot for him to handle

696
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:44,480
Speaker 6: in any form. While I still think his behavior was

697
00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:46,680
Speaker 6: not warranted, it made a lot more sense to me,

698
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:49,840
Speaker 6: And honestly, he is a real one for willingly entertaining

699
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 6: an embarrassing situation under the guise of protecting his son.

700
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 7: So that's it.

701
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:57,000
Speaker 6: It was a lot less malicious than I originally thought.

702
00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 6: Everything is back to normal, except we're all making.

703
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:00,200
Speaker 5: Fun of my dead.

704
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 6: We didn't have to punt anyone out. Plus we've discovered

705
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:05,920
Speaker 6: that we get the house to ourselves most days because

706
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:09,000
Speaker 6: everyone leaves, so we've just been doing our thing. We're

707
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:11,840
Speaker 6: still here for a few more days, and my girlfriend

708
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:14,919
Speaker 6: just wants to swim and have spicy sleep, and I'll

709
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:16,759
Speaker 6: be happy to make that happen.

710
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:19,520
Speaker 5: Nice and that's the end of that story. All right, Well,

711
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:21,120
Speaker 5: I'm glad that everyone was.

712
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:22,719
Speaker 7: So happy and laughy about that.

713
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:23,719
Speaker 5: That you want.

714
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:27,840
Speaker 7: That's crazy, That is so so crazy.

715
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:30,640
Speaker 8: I really like, I can't even imagine how my family

716
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:32,759
Speaker 8: would react like that. I don't know if we'd be

717
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:33,920
Speaker 8: able to laugh about it like that.

718
00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:37,960
Speaker 6: I don't and certainly wouldn't be telling the entire Yeah,

719
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:40,280
Speaker 6: he had so many brothers, and you're saying you're telling

720
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:41,720
Speaker 6: the entire extended family.

721
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 7: You you're what one of seven? Yeah, that's what you say. Insane?

722
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:47,600
Speaker 7: Oh God, insane.

723
00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:49,799
Speaker 5: And that's the end of the story. We're going on

724
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:51,360
Speaker 5: to the next one.

725
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:51,880
Speaker 2: Sam.

726
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:53,240
Speaker 3: Here, we're gonna get back to the stories.

727
00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 2: But here's three minutes bads from our sponsors.

728
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:59,680
Speaker 8: A DNA test for fun exposed a family secret, and

729
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:01,520
Speaker 8: it changed my life forever.

730
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,080
Speaker 9: WHOA did you find loyalty in your DNA?

731
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:05,160
Speaker 5: I think not.

732
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 8: I twenty five female, moved across the country, away from

733
00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:11,480
Speaker 8: my family. It was just a change I needed. I

734
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:14,239
Speaker 8: felt like I was stagnating. I didn't know what I

735
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:16,400
Speaker 8: wanted out of life, but I knew I needed change.

736
00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 5: I'd been living on my.

737
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:19,520
Speaker 8: Own for years, but it was the first time I'd

738
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:20,800
Speaker 8: really been away from my parents.

739
00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:21,560
Speaker 5: By the way, this.

740
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:24,000
Speaker 8: Comes from and throw Away twenty two seventeen. And if

741
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,799
Speaker 8: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

742
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:27,839
Speaker 8: r slash Okay Storytime, Separate it.

743
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:29,920
Speaker 9: And I'm Angie, I'm Keon, and we're.

744
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:31,719
Speaker 8: Here to give good advice Goofily, But we don't have

745
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:33,759
Speaker 8: all the answers. We just know we would do in

746
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:35,840
Speaker 8: this situation, so let us know you do in the comments.

747
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:38,959
Speaker 8: OHP says I was excited and nervous about the move.

748
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:40,480
Speaker 5: I'm not good at change.

749
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:42,560
Speaker 8: I'm a nervous person in general, and I like the

750
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:46,200
Speaker 8: comfort of routine and stability. I know who doesn't. Before

751
00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:48,440
Speaker 8: I moved, I stayed with my parents for about a month.

752
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:51,120
Speaker 8: My sister had taken one of those twenty three ME tests,

753
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:52,960
Speaker 8: and she was telling me all the cool things that

754
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:53,239
Speaker 8: she had.

755
00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 5: Learned about herself.

756
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:56,560
Speaker 8: I had been curious about those tests for years, mostly

757
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:58,600
Speaker 8: for the genetic health analysis that they do.

758
00:35:58,800 --> 00:35:59,840
Speaker 5: I know that might be.

759
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:02,440
Speaker 7: A gimmick, but it was on sale and I decided

760
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:03,080
Speaker 7: to order a kit.

761
00:36:03,239 --> 00:36:04,880
Speaker 5: I spit in the stupid thing.

762
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:07,000
Speaker 8: Send it off, knowing it would be a while before

763
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 8: I heard anything back. I had other things to worry

764
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 8: about with the move, and I eventually forgot about it. Well,

765
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:15,760
Speaker 8: I move out and the adjustment was kind of rough.

766
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:18,520
Speaker 8: A new area, a new job, new people. I was

767
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:20,960
Speaker 8: a little overwhelmed. But about a month in I started

768
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:23,399
Speaker 8: getting my footing. I came home from work one night

769
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:25,439
Speaker 8: and saw the email from twenty three and meters telling

770
00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:25,799
Speaker 8: me my.

771
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:26,560
Speaker 5: Results were in.

772
00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 7: I had forgotten about it and was excited to see

773
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 7: what it said.

774
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:30,400
Speaker 5: I go for the health results.

775
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:30,720
Speaker 2: First.

776
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:33,160
Speaker 8: Turns out I have some pretty good genes. Maybe I

777
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:36,600
Speaker 8: get glaucoma, but I passed everything else, so that was cool.

778
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:39,239
Speaker 8: I then head over and look at my origins and

779
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:42,080
Speaker 8: found no surprises. I was kind of disappointed, to be honest,

780
00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:45,080
Speaker 8: the test was not that interesting. I didn't really care

781
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:48,040
Speaker 8: about my DNA relatives, but I decided to take a peek.

782
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:48,440
Speaker 5: Anyway.

783
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 8: My sister would be on there at least, and she

784
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:54,280
Speaker 8: was first one on my list. It was so expected

785
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:56,560
Speaker 8: that I just glanced over her name, more curious to

786
00:36:56,560 --> 00:37:00,239
Speaker 8: see other matches. Well, my second match was my grandfather,

787
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:03,160
Speaker 8: and it was a name I had never heard before.

788
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:04,320
Speaker 5: I was confused.

789
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:06,640
Speaker 8: I looked back at my sister and realized that it

790
00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:10,319
Speaker 8: said half sibling. I well, oh, fell sick. I know

791
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 8: that my sister is my dad's daughter. She inherited a

792
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:16,560
Speaker 8: genetic condition from him. I went through a little denial.

793
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:20,120
Speaker 8: Maybe the test was wrong. Google said that wasn't likely.

794
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 7: After a few tears, I had to accept that I

795
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:23,719
Speaker 7: had a biological father.

796
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 5: Out in the world that I never knew about.

797
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:28,840
Speaker 8: I found out that my parents had lined to me

798
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:32,120
Speaker 8: for twenty five years. And the fact that they just

799
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:34,560
Speaker 8: let me move all the way out here knowing full

800
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:36,680
Speaker 8: well I can expand on how I know they knew

801
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:39,719
Speaker 8: long story that I would find this out has made

802
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:42,920
Speaker 8: me so angry. Instead of talking this out with me,

803
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:45,200
Speaker 8: they left me alone to deal with it on my own.

804
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 8: I still haven't gotten to talk to them in person

805
00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:49,279
Speaker 8: about this. That's been especially hard to cope with for

806
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:49,880
Speaker 8: some reason.

807
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:51,320
Speaker 5: Anyway, it took.

808
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:53,040
Speaker 7: Me about a week to confront my mom.

809
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:55,560
Speaker 8: I guess it's hard to empathize with my situation unless

810
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:58,000
Speaker 8: you've been through it. It almost felt like grieving in

811
00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:00,440
Speaker 8: a way. It felt like I lost my dad. I

812
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:02,480
Speaker 8: know he's still my dad, he loves me and I

813
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:04,719
Speaker 8: love him. And the fact that he raised me while

814
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,280
Speaker 8: knowing I wasn't. His says a lot about his character.

815
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 8: He's always lived by impeccable moral principles, and I've always

816
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:11,759
Speaker 8: tried to be as good of a person as he is.

817
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:14,439
Speaker 8: To this day, I can't really pinpoint why this has

818
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:15,759
Speaker 8: had such an effect on me.

819
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:17,520
Speaker 5: You would think that I could just.

820
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,640
Speaker 8: Say, oh, okay, well, I know who my dad is,

821
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:23,160
Speaker 8: and he's great and I love him, so it doesn't matter.

822
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 5: But I can't.

823
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:28,200
Speaker 8: My mom was surprisingly forthcoming about the situation. She had

824
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:35,120
Speaker 8: enough fair gee Wilker's Batman, what where did that come from?

825
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:38,640
Speaker 8: My biological father was married too. It didn't last long,

826
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:42,200
Speaker 8: and my biodad didn't even know I existed. She said

827
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:44,719
Speaker 8: they hadn't talked since, but she could find him on

828
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:46,880
Speaker 8: Facebook if I wanted to contact him. It took me

829
00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:49,359
Speaker 8: a day to think it over, but ultimately I knew

830
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:50,120
Speaker 8: I had to know.

831
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:51,319
Speaker 5: I don't know why, but.

832
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:53,319
Speaker 8: I just couldn't have this information in my head and

833
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:55,880
Speaker 8: not learn more about who my biodad was, so I

834
00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:58,680
Speaker 8: had her message him. Since then, I've been in contact

835
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:02,000
Speaker 8: with him every day. He is a wonderful person. I

836
00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:04,120
Speaker 8: expected him to not want to contact with me.

837
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:06,600
Speaker 9: Is really a wonderful person who had an affair when

838
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 9: he was married.

839
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:10,200
Speaker 8: Yeah, as he has a family and my existence is

840
00:39:10,239 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 8: not exactly an easy thing to explain.

841
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:15,319
Speaker 5: I was prepared for the worst, but instead, I don't know, I.

842
00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:17,759
Speaker 7: Got probably the best outcome one could hope for.

843
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,560
Speaker 8: He wants to be a part of my life. He

844
00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:21,160
Speaker 8: wants to get to know me and make up for

845
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:24,000
Speaker 8: lost time. We've already talked a lot. I've told him

846
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,399
Speaker 8: about my life and I've learned about his. He lives

847
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:28,720
Speaker 8: pretty far away, but he has visited me a few times.

848
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:29,120
Speaker 5: I don't know.

849
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:32,400
Speaker 8: Things just clicked with him. We are actually pretty similar people.

850
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:34,640
Speaker 8: I do look like him. We get along really well,

851
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:36,680
Speaker 8: and he's definitely gone the extra mile to make me

852
00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:39,240
Speaker 8: feel loved and cared for. I'm not good at people,

853
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:42,080
Speaker 8: but getting to know him has felt easy and natural.

854
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 8: So that should be about it, right. Things worked out

855
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 8: for the best, and I should be happy that I

856
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:48,920
Speaker 8: have so many people who care about me. But I

857
00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:51,920
Speaker 8: have these conflicting feelings and I just can't put them

858
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 8: out of my head.

859
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:55,400
Speaker 7: I've decided to move again to be closer to him.

860
00:39:55,760 --> 00:40:00,680
Speaker 9: WHOA I'm confused, Why are you yearning for this new development.

861
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 9: I mean sure, because I know you wanted to change

862
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 9: your life, and you're like, my life's a constant, but

863
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:08,200
Speaker 9: you already had a father to begin with. Yeah, but

864
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:11,719
Speaker 9: you also are now yearning for this relationship with your

865
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:13,080
Speaker 9: biological father.

866
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:15,479
Speaker 3: That you held opie op ohp. You got this test at.

867
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:18,080
Speaker 9: Like twenty five, twenty five? Yeah, you hit twenty five,

868
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:19,760
Speaker 9: and you're like, this is the change that I wanted.

869
00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:21,560
Speaker 8: I want the chance to spend time with him and

870
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:23,839
Speaker 8: get to know him better. I'm really excited about the move.

871
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:26,080
Speaker 8: Things have worked out really well on that front. But

872
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:27,880
Speaker 8: I just talked to my dad, the one that has

873
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:31,120
Speaker 8: raised me. That's another hard thing. The term dad is

874
00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:33,560
Speaker 8: way too confusing to me now, and I can tell

875
00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:35,319
Speaker 8: that he's not exactly happy about the move.

876
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:36,319
Speaker 5: And I can't blame him.

877
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:38,680
Speaker 8: He's spent his entire life raising me, and now all

878
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:41,279
Speaker 8: of a sudden, I'm seeking a relationship with my biofather,

879
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 8: the man my mom cheated on him with.

880
00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:44,799
Speaker 5: That's got to be pretty tough.

881
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:47,440
Speaker 3: I there we go. Okay, it answers my That was

882
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:47,839
Speaker 3: my question.

883
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:48,000
Speaker 8: Mike.

884
00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's kind of weird, But.

885
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:51,560
Speaker 8: Do you like for the dad's perspective at least. Yeah,

886
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:53,919
Speaker 8: I thought about just not telling him that I'm moving,

887
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:55,960
Speaker 8: but that's a why that I just can't keep up with.

888
00:40:56,239 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 8: I couldn't just not tell him. The longer I waited,

889
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:00,560
Speaker 8: the worst it was going to get. I almost feel

890
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:04,239
Speaker 8: like I'm going through some kind of identity or existential crisis.

891
00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:06,440
Speaker 8: For twenty five years, my parents looked at me, and

892
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:08,160
Speaker 8: in the back of their minds, they knew where I

893
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:11,280
Speaker 8: came from. I came out of a shameful and regretful mistake.

894
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:13,640
Speaker 8: I am the living reminder of some of the worst

895
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:16,439
Speaker 8: times of their life, and that's true for my biodod too.

896
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:18,520
Speaker 8: He has gone out of his way to assure me

897
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:20,520
Speaker 8: that it's not my fault, and then I'm not responsible

898
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:21,040
Speaker 8: for any of this.

899
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:22,719
Speaker 5: But isn't the end result the same.

900
00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:26,000
Speaker 8: If they could take back the circumstances of my conception,

901
00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:28,120
Speaker 8: I'm sure they would. I can't help but think that

902
00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:30,360
Speaker 8: I am a life that no one wanted to exist.

903
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:33,520
Speaker 5: I don't actually belong anywhere, so now I don't know

904
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:34,320
Speaker 5: what I'm doing.

905
00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:36,240
Speaker 7: I've never been a happy person.

906
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:37,360
Speaker 5: Life has been rough.

907
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:39,640
Speaker 8: I like to say I'm resilient, but I think I'm

908
00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:42,320
Speaker 8: just fragile underneath it all, and stuff like this really

909
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:44,680
Speaker 8: throws me. I don't think I'm mature enough to navigate

910
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:46,799
Speaker 8: whatever this is. I don't want to hurt anybody, and

911
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:48,440
Speaker 8: I can't tell if I'm being selfish.

912
00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 5: I don't know what to do.

913
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:51,600
Speaker 7: What would a normal person do if they were in

914
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:52,200
Speaker 7: my shoes.

915
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:54,160
Speaker 8: I've just been taking it one day at a time,

916
00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:56,800
Speaker 8: but ever since I found out about this, it's consumed

917
00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:59,240
Speaker 8: my life. There are some comments though I can't imagine

918
00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:01,040
Speaker 8: what you're going through, but your father who raised you

919
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:03,520
Speaker 8: didn't make a shameful and regretful mistake, and you're not

920
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:05,880
Speaker 8: necessarily a reminder of some of the worst times of

921
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:08,319
Speaker 8: their lives. You're a reminder to your mother that the

922
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:11,160
Speaker 8: man who raised you actually loved you both, actually loved

923
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:13,600
Speaker 8: both you and her enough to stay and be a

924
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:16,160
Speaker 8: real father to you and a real husband to her

925
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:18,920
Speaker 8: despite what happened. There's every chance that the father who

926
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:20,879
Speaker 8: raised you is going to see this as not only

927
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:23,160
Speaker 8: a betrayal from you, but a reminder of something he

928
00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:25,920
Speaker 8: thought he put behind him a long time ago. What

929
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:28,200
Speaker 8: kind of relationship do you want to build with your

930
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:31,239
Speaker 8: newly found biofather. What kind of reminder do you want

931
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:33,080
Speaker 8: to be for him and his family? What kind of

932
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:35,759
Speaker 8: relationship do you expect with the father who raised you

933
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:38,319
Speaker 8: now that you've decided to be closer to your biofather,

934
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:42,280
Speaker 8: Ohpi responded, I honestly don't know how to answer your questions.

935
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:44,680
Speaker 7: This has thrown me from day one. I don't know

936
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:45,200
Speaker 7: what I want.

937
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:47,840
Speaker 8: I have this new information, and I've just taken it

938
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:50,680
Speaker 8: one day at a time. My biofather wants to get

939
00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:53,479
Speaker 8: to know me, and I'm obviously curious about him as well,

940
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:55,839
Speaker 8: so I guess I've just been doing that. I don't

941
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:57,799
Speaker 8: want my relationship with my dad to change at all.

942
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:00,840
Speaker 8: When I found out, we talked about it exactly one time.

943
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 8: I cried over the phone to him, told him that

944
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:05,359
Speaker 8: I loved him and that he would always be my dad.

945
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:07,879
Speaker 8: We still talk over the phone all the time. He's

946
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:10,080
Speaker 8: so important to me and I want him to know that.

947
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,360
Speaker 8: But I moved away from him and the rest of

948
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:14,960
Speaker 8: my family a year ago for unrelated reasons, and I

949
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:17,720
Speaker 8: guess it's easier to move again because I've been gone.

950
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:19,960
Speaker 8: I don't intend for this move to be permanent. I

951
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:22,160
Speaker 8: have no goals yet I'm still trying to figure out

952
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:24,480
Speaker 8: my life. I'm not happy living where I am, and

953
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:26,719
Speaker 8: I have the new information and a chance to do

954
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:28,960
Speaker 8: something with it. It feels like if I don't get

955
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:30,919
Speaker 8: to know my bio dad, I will spend the rest

956
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:31,880
Speaker 8: of my life wondering.

957
00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:34,200
Speaker 7: I can see that it would cause pain.

958
00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:35,760
Speaker 5: To my dad, and that's hurting me inside.

959
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:38,319
Speaker 8: I've been depressed for the last years since I found out,

960
00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:40,160
Speaker 8: and I feel like the only way to get answers

961
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:41,880
Speaker 8: for my life would be to investigate this.

962
00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:43,680
Speaker 5: That's why I made this post.

963
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:46,439
Speaker 8: Maybe someone could understand the situation I'm in and tell

964
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 8: me why I'm so effed up over this.

965
00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:49,160
Speaker 5: Not sorry.

966
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:51,359
Speaker 9: The only way you can do then figure that out

967
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:55,759
Speaker 9: is legitimately seeing a professional So you're genuine like, I'm

968
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,440
Speaker 9: one for the depression and for you to be like,

969
00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:00,680
Speaker 9: I don't know how to feel about this, I don't

970
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:03,400
Speaker 9: know how to process this. I'm still trying to figure

971
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:05,799
Speaker 9: it all out. Even if you talk to your biodad

972
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:08,520
Speaker 9: and get that relationship with your biodad, I genuinely think

973
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:12,480
Speaker 9: you need to see a professional therapist to get that

974
00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:14,359
Speaker 9: all out there and see what they can.

975
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 3: You know, what they can do for you.

976
00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:18,000
Speaker 8: Yeah, and if anyone in the comments has been in

977
00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:22,120
Speaker 8: this situation, please come download your experiences with it, because

978
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 8: we can only guess.

979
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:24,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's crazy.

980
00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:26,640
Speaker 9: I feel like people have tried to sue twenty three

981
00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:30,520
Speaker 9: and me or like those DNA things because of stories like.

982
00:44:30,520 --> 00:44:33,520
Speaker 5: This, because they would like reveal affairs.

983
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 9: Affairs or like someone cheated or something like that. Along

984
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:38,160
Speaker 9: they're like, what, something doesn't add up?

985
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:40,120
Speaker 3: And you know you find.

986
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:42,600
Speaker 8: The thus not twenty three and me as fault.

987
00:44:42,719 --> 00:44:43,520
Speaker 5: No, they're fault at all.

988
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,120
Speaker 3: It isn't, but a lot of people try.

989
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:47,600
Speaker 9: I think I've tried to sue that is so those

990
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:48,360
Speaker 9: type of companies.

991
00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:49,440
Speaker 5: That is hilarious.

992
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 7: And that's the end of this story. We're going on

993
00:44:51,719 --> 00:44:52,359
Speaker 7: to the next one.

994
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:56,200
Speaker 9: My mother banned me from talking to my siblings after

995
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:57,200
Speaker 9: I got pregnant.

996
00:44:57,440 --> 00:44:59,759
Speaker 5: After too late, I think.

997
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:02,359
Speaker 9: Hi, I'm a twenty seven year old woman who's had

998
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:05,880
Speaker 9: a non traditional upbringing. I'm the oldest of six siblings,

999
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:10,120
Speaker 9: all by different dads. When I was seven, my mom

1000
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:12,920
Speaker 9: got arrested and lost custody of my brother and me

1001
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:16,040
Speaker 9: for about eight years. By the way, this comes from

1002
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,520
Speaker 9: user Fetis ninety eight and if you want to submit

1003
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:21,520
Speaker 9: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay story Time, suprettit,

1004
00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:23,880
Speaker 9: I'm key On, I'm Angie, and we're here to give

1005
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:24,400
Speaker 9: good advice.

1006
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:24,880
Speaker 3: Goofully.

1007
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:26,520
Speaker 9: He don't have all the answers. We only know what

1008
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:29,120
Speaker 9: we do, so let us know what you'd do in

1009
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:32,120
Speaker 9: the comments. During this time, my brother, who's two years

1010
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:35,000
Speaker 9: younger than me, and basically my best friend and I

1011
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:38,000
Speaker 9: were separated and placed into different foster homes until our

1012
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:40,880
Speaker 9: biological dads could find the time to get us. My

1013
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:42,960
Speaker 9: brother moved to another part of the state, while my

1014
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:45,600
Speaker 9: bio dad dropped me off at his mom's house to

1015
00:45:45,719 --> 00:45:48,640
Speaker 9: raise me as he went across the country to work.

1016
00:45:48,719 --> 00:45:51,479
Speaker 9: Until I turned fourteen, I spent every Wednesday for two

1017
00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:55,040
Speaker 9: hours having monitored visitation with my mom and once a

1018
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:57,799
Speaker 9: month with my brother when his dad would show up.

1019
00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:01,120
Speaker 9: As a teenager does I resented my my grandmother ran

1020
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:03,600
Speaker 9: away from that home. I was bunching between friends' couches

1021
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:06,120
Speaker 9: for a couple of months till my dad somehow sold

1022
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:09,160
Speaker 9: me to my mom for a couple grand sold oh

1023
00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:12,080
Speaker 9: Man a couple grands She then had custody of me,

1024
00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:14,920
Speaker 9: and a few years later the same with my brother.

1025
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:17,440
Speaker 9: In this time, she had my little sister and met

1026
00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:19,760
Speaker 9: another man and married him. He was a police officer

1027
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 9: with a bad drinking habit. She had a son with

1028
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:24,879
Speaker 9: him about five years later, but went on to meet

1029
00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 9: a married man and jump ship to him and his

1030
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:30,839
Speaker 9: two daughters became my sister. Seless to say, it's complicated,

1031
00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:33,400
Speaker 9: sounds like it very but all of this created a

1032
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:35,880
Speaker 9: very tight bond with my siblings and became what I

1033
00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:39,680
Speaker 9: believed was an unbreakable relationship from trauma. When she jumped

1034
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:42,279
Speaker 9: shipped to the current husband, I was eighteen and ready

1035
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:44,640
Speaker 9: to be an adult. I met some pretty face salesman

1036
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:48,200
Speaker 9: and traveled the country, making dumb financial choices and even

1037
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:51,120
Speaker 9: dabbled into substances to see why my mom would risk

1038
00:46:51,120 --> 00:46:53,720
Speaker 9: her kids for the fun. It didn't last long, maybe

1039
00:46:53,719 --> 00:46:55,840
Speaker 9: a couple of years. As I grew to hate not

1040
00:46:55,920 --> 00:46:57,880
Speaker 9: being in control. I wanted to prove a point that

1041
00:46:57,960 --> 00:46:59,839
Speaker 9: I just wasn't my mom a salesman and I were

1042
00:46:59,840 --> 00:47:02,440
Speaker 9: no So we parted ways and I became roommates with.

1043
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:02,960
Speaker 3: My best friend.

1044
00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:04,879
Speaker 9: I was twenty two and doing what I presume most

1045
00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 9: women do at that age, drinking and chatting with the

1046
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:11,680
Speaker 9: plenty of fish in the sea. I met someone who

1047
00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:14,080
Speaker 9: was fun, I got pregnant and never saw him again.

1048
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:14,960
Speaker 3: Lucky me.

1049
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:16,560
Speaker 7: Oh boy boy.

1050
00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:19,360
Speaker 9: Three years past, and I'm back with my mom, dreaming

1051
00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:22,880
Speaker 9: of the cult compound and living with my siblings forever,

1052
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:26,280
Speaker 9: because that was my mom's dream since she lost custody

1053
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:28,760
Speaker 9: of my brother and me. Yet we couldn't even afford

1054
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:32,000
Speaker 9: it due to the many court case battles that are

1055
00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:34,239
Speaker 9: still ongoing to this day with her ex and my

1056
00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:36,960
Speaker 9: stepfather's ex wife. As I'm terrified of the idea of

1057
00:47:37,080 --> 00:47:39,440
Speaker 9: thirty and single, I then meet the man I am

1058
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:41,640
Speaker 9: with now. My daughter adores him and calls him Dad,

1059
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:44,359
Speaker 9: and he very much takes care of us and has

1060
00:47:44,680 --> 00:47:47,400
Speaker 9: on many occasions helped my family with small deeds, teaching

1061
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:50,240
Speaker 9: a car battery, getting my brother a good job mowing

1062
00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:52,920
Speaker 9: their lawn when my stepfather was out of town. We dated,

1063
00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:55,719
Speaker 9: moved in together, and now I'm currently pregnant with his

1064
00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:58,640
Speaker 9: first son. He and I are elated, but when I

1065
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:00,840
Speaker 9: went to tell my parents, they began to act like

1066
00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:03,640
Speaker 9: he was a cancer my life. My mom has the

1067
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:05,799
Speaker 9: idea that he is too much like the wonder her

1068
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:09,040
Speaker 9: exes and made jokes about him to me where I

1069
00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:11,560
Speaker 9: now know I made the mistake by not nipping that.

1070
00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:13,400
Speaker 9: In the beginning, she was my best friend and I

1071
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:15,200
Speaker 9: would run to her when him and I had a

1072
00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:19,040
Speaker 9: shallow argument about literally anything, working too much, nagging, or

1073
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:22,120
Speaker 9: not texting quick enough. Betty, I know, but where your

1074
00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:24,719
Speaker 9: family is, where you feel the most comfortable, it slips out.

1075
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:27,640
Speaker 9: I now wish I never said a peep. As soon

1076
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:29,560
Speaker 9: as I said I was pregnant, my mom told me

1077
00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:31,400
Speaker 9: to leave him, called him all the names in the book.

1078
00:48:31,680 --> 00:48:34,240
Speaker 9: It broke my heart and was a complete one eighty

1079
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:36,600
Speaker 9: from how I was treated when I was a single mom.

1080
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:39,040
Speaker 9: For my daughter, I assumed she would be elated, but

1081
00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:42,160
Speaker 9: soon learned she has disdained For my partner. She went

1082
00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:45,400
Speaker 9: as farda, not once asked me how my pregnancy is doing,

1083
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:48,440
Speaker 9: and now ignoring my three year old daughter and myself

1084
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:51,200
Speaker 9: when we text. My partner texted my mom and stepdad

1085
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:53,319
Speaker 9: as he was out of town for work and wanted

1086
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:55,920
Speaker 9: to clear the air to understand why there is bad blood.

1087
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:59,480
Speaker 9: My mom directly texted him slurs and demanded he come

1088
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:02,680
Speaker 9: speak to them in person at her house. My partner

1089
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:05,000
Speaker 9: offered to get them lunch after being.

1090
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:05,800
Speaker 3: Called those slurs.

1091
00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:06,640
Speaker 5: Yeah what.

1092
00:49:07,239 --> 00:49:09,160
Speaker 9: My partner offered to get them lunch or meete at

1093
00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:11,440
Speaker 9: a public space, as he had grown to know my

1094
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:14,280
Speaker 9: mom had and she had her tendencies to manipulate the truth.

1095
00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:16,440
Speaker 9: To the court, he explained he wasn't confident in their

1096
00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:18,880
Speaker 9: current situation to be put in a position where it

1097
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:22,160
Speaker 9: could be manipulated. I read all the messages and as

1098
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:24,839
Speaker 9: if someone set up a nuclear bomb, my mom called

1099
00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:27,239
Speaker 9: him a kiddy and blocked him and infronted me even

1100
00:49:27,280 --> 00:49:30,120
Speaker 9: on Monopoly Go, and convinced all my siblings to begin

1101
00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:33,040
Speaker 9: ignoring my text. I went over to my mom's without

1102
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:35,600
Speaker 9: my partner to have a face to face and brought

1103
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:37,840
Speaker 9: my daughter along to see them. We began the chat

1104
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:41,520
Speaker 9: as if it were a normal day nails, hair, siblings,

1105
00:49:41,560 --> 00:49:44,239
Speaker 9: school life, but she was texting my stepdad to leave

1106
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:47,200
Speaker 9: his golf game and rush over. The very first footstep

1107
00:49:47,239 --> 00:49:49,799
Speaker 9: my stepdad made through the door, my mom made a

1108
00:49:49,840 --> 00:49:53,040
Speaker 9: scene as if we were in a mid argument, shouting

1109
00:49:53,040 --> 00:49:55,160
Speaker 9: about how stupid I am to be with him. I

1110
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:59,040
Speaker 9: was in shock, literally speechless. The previous sentence had been

1111
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:01,759
Speaker 9: light hearted, and now I was being cussed at and

1112
00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:05,399
Speaker 9: berated with questions about how my decisions are affecting her

1113
00:50:05,800 --> 00:50:09,640
Speaker 9: and my daughter's well being. Luckily, my daughter was outside

1114
00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:11,920
Speaker 9: with my youngest brother, so I sat and waited for

1115
00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:14,360
Speaker 9: a chance to speak, not letting it get to me.

1116
00:50:14,520 --> 00:50:16,279
Speaker 9: I got a half a sentence out, saying he and

1117
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:19,520
Speaker 9: I have had many conversations. Then I was cut off

1118
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:22,560
Speaker 9: and told that she didn't acting care. She began to

1119
00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:26,000
Speaker 9: rant again, and seconds later my daughter and brother came

1120
00:50:26,080 --> 00:50:28,799
Speaker 9: running in to follow my stepdad, who stayed quiet but

1121
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:29,680
Speaker 9: hugged my daughter.

1122
00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:31,560
Speaker 3: I quietly got up, grabbed.

1123
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:33,879
Speaker 9: My keys, and hugged my brother and apologized he had

1124
00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:36,200
Speaker 9: to witness the scene. I then grabbed my daughter's hand

1125
00:50:36,280 --> 00:50:39,360
Speaker 9: and began to leave. My mom yelled, so now you're leaving.

1126
00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:41,399
Speaker 9: I turned and looked at my three year old daughter

1127
00:50:41,640 --> 00:50:43,440
Speaker 9: and back at my mom and said I will not

1128
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:46,319
Speaker 9: tolerate being cussed at as I am an adult. She

1129
00:50:46,360 --> 00:50:49,680
Speaker 9: actually bewildered and said really. She continued on, but I

1130
00:50:49,719 --> 00:50:51,880
Speaker 9: promptly got into my car and left. I haven't heard

1131
00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:54,319
Speaker 9: a peep from my stepdad, but got lengthy text from

1132
00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:57,239
Speaker 9: my mom about how I'm holding her emotionally hostage and

1133
00:50:57,280 --> 00:50:59,520
Speaker 9: how my partner is stealing me away, and that the

1134
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:02,640
Speaker 9: house is still an open door. But now none of

1135
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:04,440
Speaker 9: my siblings will respond to me, and my mom has

1136
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:07,400
Speaker 9: gone as far as to convince my grandparents not to

1137
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:10,680
Speaker 9: respond either. I think there is definitely a power dynamic

1138
00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:13,560
Speaker 9: with your your entire family, and your mother is head

1139
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 9: haun show, which I again, that makes sense. Yeah, But

1140
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:19,080
Speaker 9: the fact that she's like, don't talk to my daughter,

1141
00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:22,600
Speaker 9: none of this, don't talk to OPI. She's bad, but

1142
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:24,879
Speaker 9: she says, then she says, oh, we have the open door.

1143
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:25,480
Speaker 3: I don't know.

1144
00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:27,960
Speaker 9: I think it's showing the true colors of who your

1145
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:32,000
Speaker 9: mom is. The fact that you found someone who supports you, OPI,

1146
00:51:32,320 --> 00:51:35,319
Speaker 9: and wants to be there for you and is good

1147
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:38,759
Speaker 9: to your daughter, it's incredible. And the fact that she

1148
00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:41,319
Speaker 9: can't see that. I don't know, there's a little bit left.

1149
00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:42,680
Speaker 9: Let's go ahead and fish it up. I spoke to

1150
00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:44,759
Speaker 9: one of my sisters who was at a ballgame during

1151
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:46,920
Speaker 9: the in house visit, and she said she was told

1152
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:49,880
Speaker 9: by Mom never cussed at me. It was repeated to

1153
00:51:49,920 --> 00:51:53,319
Speaker 9: her several times. She's young and honestly doesn't care about

1154
00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:55,640
Speaker 9: who did what. I'm throwing a baby shower in a

1155
00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:57,840
Speaker 9: few weeks for our son and feel lost as I

1156
00:51:57,880 --> 00:52:00,840
Speaker 9: believe none of my side will be there for me. Sincerely,

1157
00:52:00,920 --> 00:52:02,880
Speaker 9: I'm lost and feel like I'm in the wrong for

1158
00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:05,399
Speaker 9: not putting up with my mom's behavior. So I can

1159
00:52:05,480 --> 00:52:08,080
Speaker 9: still have a relationship with my siblings. What do I do?

1160
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:11,880
Speaker 9: We have some comments. I mean, they're adults. They can come.

1161
00:52:12,239 --> 00:52:13,719
Speaker 9: You can send you know, you can said to Olive

1162
00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:15,960
Speaker 9: Ranch and have them come. But if they don't like,

1163
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:19,040
Speaker 9: don't expect them to, which sucks, but you can't force

1164
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:20,840
Speaker 9: them to do it. They can make their choices. They

1165
00:52:20,880 --> 00:52:23,279
Speaker 9: can talk to you. They shouldn't be afraid to talk

1166
00:52:23,320 --> 00:52:27,040
Speaker 9: to you. From your mother's standpoint, comment, Okay, firstly, you

1167
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:30,320
Speaker 9: are not the cause of your mother's awful, self absorbed

1168
00:52:30,320 --> 00:52:32,840
Speaker 9: person and I'm very sorry. It feels super harsh for

1169
00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:35,799
Speaker 9: me to say without wishing any ill on your mother's health.

1170
00:52:35,880 --> 00:52:38,440
Speaker 9: If you can forgive your siblings for what she manipulated

1171
00:52:38,440 --> 00:52:40,839
Speaker 9: them into doing, there is a future of your dream

1172
00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:43,799
Speaker 9: family cult compound. For now, it's just closing the door

1173
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:46,719
Speaker 9: and not expecting anything other than exactly what they show

1174
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:49,080
Speaker 9: themselves to be time and time again. I hope you

1175
00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:51,239
Speaker 9: don't let this precious time with your new family be

1176
00:52:51,320 --> 00:52:54,720
Speaker 9: anything but the miracle celebration it is with safe friends

1177
00:52:54,719 --> 00:52:56,640
Speaker 9: and new future family. And that is the end of

1178
00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:57,040
Speaker 9: that story.

1179
00:52:57,160 --> 00:52:58,200
Speaker 5: Well well said.

1180
00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:00,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, like I said, you have a new family to

1181
00:53:00,280 --> 00:53:00,799
Speaker 3: focus on.

1182
00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:02,920
Speaker 9: Does suck, But for the sanity of your daughter, the

1183
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:05,000
Speaker 9: sanity of your new partner, you.

1184
00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:05,920
Speaker 5: Just try to rebuild.

1185
00:53:06,120 --> 00:53:06,719
Speaker 3: Focus on that.

1186
00:53:07,160 --> 00:53:08,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, and that's the end of this story.

1187
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:11,160
Speaker 7: We're going on to the next one.

1188
00:53:11,320 --> 00:53:12,759
Speaker 3: Hey y'all, it's John og Host here.

1189
00:53:12,840 --> 00:53:14,239
Speaker 4: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a

1190
00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:16,120
Speaker 4: quick three minute break from as for more sponsors.

1191
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:20,040
Speaker 2: My roommate won't stop complimenting me and it's starting to

1192
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:24,759
Speaker 2: make me uncomfortable. Thank the comment, Riley says, tag the compliment.

1193
00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:29,240
Speaker 2: So I have this roommate. She's twenty eight, I'm twenty.

1194
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:31,760
Speaker 2: We met for the first time and she was decently friendly.

1195
00:53:32,360 --> 00:53:34,719
Speaker 2: She was really nice. She called me pretty and was

1196
00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:35,520
Speaker 2: all smiles.

1197
00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 1: Oh, she just has a crush on you.

1198
00:53:37,360 --> 00:53:39,560
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from c Relative sixty five

1199
00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:41,520
Speaker 2: one twelve for one two and if you want to

1200
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:43,279
Speaker 2: spit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

1201
00:53:43,320 --> 00:53:44,160
Speaker 2: storytime Separate.

1202
00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:45,640
Speaker 5: I'm Sophia, I'm Riley.

1203
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:46,920
Speaker 3: I'm key on and.

1204
00:53:46,920 --> 00:53:48,640
Speaker 2: We're here to give good advice, Schoofley. But we don't

1205
00:53:48,640 --> 00:53:50,840
Speaker 2: have all the answers really know what we'd do, so

1206
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:52,120
Speaker 2: let's know what you would do in the comments.

1207
00:53:52,239 --> 00:53:53,759
Speaker 5: Yeah, and Op says.

1208
00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:57,120
Speaker 2: After living with her for a few months, I've realized

1209
00:53:57,160 --> 00:54:01,320
Speaker 2: she comments on my appearance constantly, not in a mean way,

1210
00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:06,200
Speaker 2: not spicy or insulting, just frequent. My hair looks so thick,

1211
00:54:06,520 --> 00:54:10,560
Speaker 2: my skin is glowy, I have a nice body. Stuff

1212
00:54:10,600 --> 00:54:10,839
Speaker 2: like that.

1213
00:54:10,960 --> 00:54:12,480
Speaker 3: I want to wear your face.

1214
00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:17,160
Speaker 2: Always positive, always said casually, okay. For some reason, she

1215
00:54:17,280 --> 00:54:20,759
Speaker 2: uses my products too that would be annoying. Mostly hair

1216
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:24,920
Speaker 2: care or skincare, like shampoo, conditioner, moisturizer. That's annoying. She

1217
00:54:24,960 --> 00:54:28,480
Speaker 2: doesn't empty bottles or anything dramatic, but it's noticeable. I'll

1218
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:31,799
Speaker 2: finish your product faster than expected and think, oh right,

1219
00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:35,400
Speaker 2: she's been using it too. Recently, I just started keeping

1220
00:54:35,440 --> 00:54:38,239
Speaker 2: my shower and skincare products in my room because of this.

1221
00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:41,359
Speaker 2: She only really comes into the shared spaces when I'm there.

1222
00:54:41,760 --> 00:54:43,839
Speaker 2: If I'm in the kitchen making dinner, she'll come make

1223
00:54:43,840 --> 00:54:46,600
Speaker 2: dinner at that time as well. She makes small talk

1224
00:54:46,680 --> 00:54:49,000
Speaker 2: when she's out there with me, but if my boyfriend

1225
00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:51,360
Speaker 2: is over, she stays a little while as well. She

1226
00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:54,000
Speaker 2: doesn't talk much, just sits on her phone, makes tea,

1227
00:54:54,040 --> 00:54:57,319
Speaker 2: slowly wipes the same spot on the counter, just.

1228
00:54:57,239 --> 00:54:58,760
Speaker 1: Like she just wants a friend.

1229
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:00,719
Speaker 2: O whe a little too much.

1230
00:55:00,760 --> 00:55:03,319
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm thinking the ahole right now.

1231
00:55:04,440 --> 00:55:06,799
Speaker 2: I feel like that's I don't think so, because she's

1232
00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:10,160
Speaker 2: using her products and that that's really like if you

1233
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:12,440
Speaker 2: I think it's okay if it happens once in a

1234
00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:14,480
Speaker 2: while where you're, you know, run out of toothpaste or

1235
00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:16,640
Speaker 2: you run out a shampoo and you need like some extra,

1236
00:55:17,040 --> 00:55:21,040
Speaker 2: that's fine. But consistently using someone's products, I think that's

1237
00:55:21,080 --> 00:55:23,680
Speaker 2: kind of like not paying for them. That's an ail move,

1238
00:55:23,960 --> 00:55:27,080
Speaker 2: like she's waiting on something but nothing ever actually happens

1239
00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:29,439
Speaker 2: because she's out there. I feel like I can't kiss

1240
00:55:29,440 --> 00:55:32,160
Speaker 2: my boyfriend or cuddle him, which is frustrating, but I

1241
00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:34,840
Speaker 2: haven't said anything. The thing where she kind of stands

1242
00:55:34,840 --> 00:55:38,879
Speaker 2: outside my bedroom door is another concern. Wait, what if

1243
00:55:38,880 --> 00:55:40,440
Speaker 2: my boyfriend and I are in my room with a

1244
00:55:40,480 --> 00:55:43,080
Speaker 2: door closed. Sometimes I see a shadow of her feet.

1245
00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:46,239
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, she stops there for a minute or two.

1246
00:55:46,520 --> 00:55:49,760
Speaker 2: No knock, no sound, and then she walks away quietly,

1247
00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:52,120
Speaker 2: like she didn't want me to notice. This has happened

1248
00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:54,279
Speaker 2: a couple of times when I was alone as well.

1249
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:57,480
Speaker 2: You need to get a lock on your door.

1250
00:55:57,880 --> 00:56:01,280
Speaker 10: Okay, okay, this is weird.

1251
00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:02,920
Speaker 5: It's weird.

1252
00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:04,040
Speaker 2: It's weird.

1253
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:06,239
Speaker 1: I thought she wanted to she just needed a friend.

1254
00:56:06,239 --> 00:56:08,080
Speaker 1: It's getting weird, all right.

1255
00:56:08,800 --> 00:56:09,440
Speaker 2: The staring?

1256
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:12,719
Speaker 1: Wait, where's the line? Where are we putting the line

1257
00:56:12,719 --> 00:56:15,120
Speaker 1: aut before we ask her to leave? Is this the line?

1258
00:56:15,239 --> 00:56:18,080
Speaker 3: The line's been cut? When I don't know? I think

1259
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:19,960
Speaker 3: I don't think the line is.

1260
00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:22,239
Speaker 2: I don't think that she's reached the line. But we're

1261
00:56:22,280 --> 00:56:23,120
Speaker 2: like on our way.

1262
00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:25,120
Speaker 1: Where's the line? Where's like? This?

1263
00:56:25,160 --> 00:56:27,480
Speaker 2: Is it where she like actually like goes into your

1264
00:56:27,560 --> 00:56:28,440
Speaker 2: room and takes something?

1265
00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:31,640
Speaker 9: Okay, an what if she tries to take your boyfriend?

1266
00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:32,239
Speaker 5: Oh?

1267
00:56:34,120 --> 00:56:35,040
Speaker 1: This thing she likes me.

1268
00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:37,560
Speaker 2: I don't think she likes it too much. The staring

1269
00:56:37,680 --> 00:56:40,360
Speaker 2: is another thing. Not long, just a few seconds that

1270
00:56:40,440 --> 00:56:43,200
Speaker 2: feel too long. If I'm sitting on the couch, I'll

1271
00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:45,200
Speaker 2: feel her looking at me, and then when I turn

1272
00:56:45,280 --> 00:56:45,920
Speaker 2: she'll look away.

1273
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:49,680
Speaker 1: Oh she has her crush on you.

1274
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:53,160
Speaker 2: That's creepy. My boyfriend thinks it's a little weird too,

1275
00:56:53,280 --> 00:56:55,560
Speaker 2: but he hasn't been around enough or seen her enough

1276
00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:58,879
Speaker 2: to come to a concrete conclusion. I'm not scared of her,

1277
00:56:58,960 --> 00:57:01,719
Speaker 2: She's never been rude, ring, but I still find some

1278
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:03,000
Speaker 2: of these things really odd.

1279
00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:04,120
Speaker 5: I still have a.

1280
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:06,200
Speaker 2: Full year left on the lease, so I guess I'm

1281
00:57:06,239 --> 00:57:09,400
Speaker 2: trying to figure out if this is just normal roommate

1282
00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:12,320
Speaker 2: oddness or something more specific that I don't really have

1283
00:57:12,400 --> 00:57:15,880
Speaker 2: a name for yet. Probably nothing, but sometimes I wonder

1284
00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:18,000
Speaker 2: if anyone else would think this is weird, or if

1285
00:57:18,040 --> 00:57:21,360
Speaker 2: it's only weird because I'm noticing it. I'm not sure

1286
00:57:21,360 --> 00:57:24,400
Speaker 2: how to approach this, or if I even should. If

1287
00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:28,120
Speaker 2: you want, I can provide some context and comments. She

1288
00:57:28,200 --> 00:57:31,840
Speaker 2: sunds awkward and like she has a crush on you. Yeah, yeah,

1289
00:57:32,120 --> 00:57:35,600
Speaker 2: I'm sorry that'd be intolerable for me. Opie says, I

1290
00:57:35,680 --> 00:57:38,520
Speaker 2: just thought maybe she was awkward, but like, after actually

1291
00:57:38,560 --> 00:57:40,880
Speaker 2: thinking about it, yeah, she probably has a crush on me.

1292
00:57:41,520 --> 00:57:43,560
Speaker 2: I think it just comes off as cocky if I'm

1293
00:57:43,680 --> 00:57:45,800
Speaker 2: just jumping to the conclusion that she has a crush

1294
00:57:45,800 --> 00:57:49,680
Speaker 2: on me, but clearly it indicates she does. Comment Wo says, please,

1295
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:52,320
Speaker 2: none of this behavior is as tame as a crush.

1296
00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:55,520
Speaker 2: All the things you describe are both creepy and route.

1297
00:57:55,960 --> 00:57:58,800
Speaker 2: He wants to live inside your skin. Nopee, all do

1298
00:57:59,480 --> 00:58:02,320
Speaker 2: this is not normal. Please leave the shared situation as

1299
00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:05,360
Speaker 2: soon as you can. This is her being normal. People

1300
00:58:05,440 --> 00:58:09,080
Speaker 2: always ramp it up. Opie says, it isn't normal behavior.

1301
00:58:09,200 --> 00:58:11,040
Speaker 2: But I think before I jumped to the conclusion that

1302
00:58:11,040 --> 00:58:13,960
Speaker 2: she's crazy, I should talk to her. Comment three says, yeah,

1303
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:15,720
Speaker 2: sounds like she likes you and doesn't know how to

1304
00:58:15,760 --> 00:58:18,440
Speaker 2: approach it. The standing outside of your room thing is

1305
00:58:18,520 --> 00:58:21,280
Speaker 2: creepy as crap, though I don't know how close you

1306
00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:23,520
Speaker 2: actually are to her, so I don't know if a

1307
00:58:23,560 --> 00:58:26,080
Speaker 2: convo about this would be normal for you guys to have.

1308
00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:29,880
Speaker 2: Of course, if it is making you extremely uncomfortable, then

1309
00:58:29,920 --> 00:58:33,080
Speaker 2: by all means speak to her. But she also sounds lonely,

1310
00:58:33,200 --> 00:58:35,480
Speaker 2: and her waiting for nothing seems like she wants to

1311
00:58:35,520 --> 00:58:38,720
Speaker 2: be included in the hangout or something. Opie says, I

1312
00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:42,320
Speaker 2: mean she does this when I'm alone too, that's the thing. Plus,

1313
00:58:42,400 --> 00:58:44,560
Speaker 2: it's like I'm with my boyfriend. She knows it's my

1314
00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:47,480
Speaker 2: boyfriend and that we're spending like a couple time together.

1315
00:58:47,800 --> 00:58:49,600
Speaker 2: I'd be happy to hang out or something if it

1316
00:58:49,640 --> 00:58:51,760
Speaker 2: was just us or if one of my friends was over.

1317
00:58:51,920 --> 00:58:55,200
Speaker 2: But yeah, Reply says, have you ever hung out together

1318
00:58:55,280 --> 00:58:58,240
Speaker 2: one on one as in a planned hangout? Opie says,

1319
00:58:58,320 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 2: not really. I mean I didn't Milly things. She'd find

1320
00:59:00,880 --> 00:59:03,080
Speaker 2: stuff that I like to do fun as well, considering

1321
00:59:03,120 --> 00:59:04,920
Speaker 2: she's a little older and I didn't really get the

1322
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:06,520
Speaker 2: vibe that she's into the stuff.

1323
00:59:06,280 --> 00:59:06,680
Speaker 5: That I am.

1324
00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:09,800
Speaker 2: We mostly just talk to each other and have conversations

1325
00:59:09,800 --> 00:59:12,400
Speaker 2: here and there at our place. Comment for it sounds

1326
00:59:12,400 --> 00:59:14,320
Speaker 2: like she wants to be part of a couple time

1327
00:59:14,520 --> 00:59:19,960
Speaker 2: or two, or more accurately threttle time. I either lean

1328
00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:22,920
Speaker 2: into that if you're adventurous in that way, or have

1329
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:25,720
Speaker 2: a serious conversation with her about boundaries. Leaving things the

1330
00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:27,680
Speaker 2: way they are seems like a recipe for just making

1331
00:59:27,720 --> 00:59:31,120
Speaker 2: you and your boyfriend increasingly uncomfortable. Reply says, I don't

1332
00:59:31,160 --> 00:59:33,360
Speaker 2: know if I'd go as far as spicy sleep thing,

1333
00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:36,240
Speaker 2: but I do agree based on Opie's info, that she's

1334
00:59:36,280 --> 00:59:39,000
Speaker 2: either into her and or it is just socially awkward

1335
00:59:39,040 --> 00:59:42,040
Speaker 2: and wants to be included. It's not that uncommon for

1336
00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:45,440
Speaker 2: a dynamic, although given the age gap. I'm leaning towards

1337
00:59:45,440 --> 00:59:49,720
Speaker 2: the social awkwardness and being lonely. And again, Opie's roommate

1338
00:59:49,760 --> 00:59:50,960
Speaker 2: is twenty eight and Ope's twenty.

1339
00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:53,960
Speaker 1: I could. I don't know, so I think it's a

1340
00:59:53,960 --> 00:59:54,360
Speaker 1: little bit.

1341
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:56,760
Speaker 2: Weirder because there is that age gap where she's and

1342
00:59:56,760 --> 00:59:57,520
Speaker 2: she's actalized.

1343
00:59:58,960 --> 00:59:59,360
Speaker 5: Opie.

1344
00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:01,440
Speaker 2: If you were to a convo with her, I suggest

1345
01:00:01,480 --> 01:00:03,280
Speaker 2: you ask her if she'd like to be included with

1346
01:00:03,360 --> 01:00:05,480
Speaker 2: you when you and your boyfriend are hanging out in

1347
01:00:05,520 --> 01:00:08,640
Speaker 2: a shared space, but then establish clear boundaries that when

1348
01:00:08,680 --> 01:00:11,360
Speaker 2: you and your boyfriend are alone, you'd like some privacy.

1349
01:00:11,840 --> 01:00:14,280
Speaker 2: Totally mention now you notice that she's creeping at your

1350
01:00:14,280 --> 01:00:16,920
Speaker 2: door and that you're uncomfortable with that, because I think

1351
01:00:16,920 --> 01:00:18,840
Speaker 2: that will give her a little wake up call. And

1352
01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:19,880
Speaker 2: there is an update.

1353
01:00:20,560 --> 01:00:22,000
Speaker 5: So let's let's see.

1354
01:00:22,400 --> 01:00:27,200
Speaker 2: Ah, let's see if any progress is made. I told

1355
01:00:27,240 --> 01:00:29,320
Speaker 2: a couple of people on my post I made earlier

1356
01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:32,240
Speaker 2: that I would update so here it is. Gosh, this

1357
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:34,720
Speaker 2: is kind of weird to be sharing with random strangers.

1358
01:00:34,720 --> 01:00:37,320
Speaker 2: But we ended up talking about an hour ago. It's

1359
01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:40,200
Speaker 2: not a fight or anything, just a conversation. We are

1360
01:00:40,200 --> 01:00:42,280
Speaker 2: both in the in the kitchen and I asked if

1361
01:00:42,280 --> 01:00:44,240
Speaker 2: we could sit down for a minute. I told her

1362
01:00:44,280 --> 01:00:46,160
Speaker 2: I really like living with her and that she's been

1363
01:00:46,160 --> 01:00:48,760
Speaker 2: nothing but kind to me, but I have some concerns.

1364
01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:51,160
Speaker 1: Okay, I like this, Yeah, good stuff.

1365
01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:51,400
Speaker 6: Ida.

1366
01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:54,560
Speaker 2: I brought up the products that were clearly being used,

1367
01:00:54,960 --> 01:00:57,840
Speaker 2: how I've noticed her standing outside my room sometimes and

1368
01:00:57,840 --> 01:01:01,000
Speaker 2: how it makes me uncomfortable because my boyfriend and I

1369
01:01:01,040 --> 01:01:03,680
Speaker 2: are in there and we're not always just sleeping. I

1370
01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:05,919
Speaker 2: also mention now she tends to only come into shared

1371
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:08,439
Speaker 2: spaces when I am there or when my boyfriend is over.

1372
01:01:09,080 --> 01:01:11,800
Speaker 2: I said, I appreciate the compliment she gives me, but

1373
01:01:11,840 --> 01:01:14,640
Speaker 2: the combination of everything was just starting to feel off.

1374
01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:17,200
Speaker 2: She just stared at me for a second and then

1375
01:01:17,280 --> 01:01:19,439
Speaker 2: admitted it she has a crush on me and said

1376
01:01:19,440 --> 01:01:22,160
Speaker 2: she finds me really attractive. She said she loves being

1377
01:01:22,160 --> 01:01:23,960
Speaker 2: around me and thinks I'm really fun to be around.

1378
01:01:24,080 --> 01:01:26,480
Speaker 1: I called that from a mile away.

1379
01:01:26,800 --> 01:01:29,400
Speaker 2: She even admitted. She even admituted that that's why she's

1380
01:01:29,400 --> 01:01:31,160
Speaker 2: always in the kitchen or living room when I'm there

1381
01:01:31,280 --> 01:01:33,320
Speaker 2: or when my boyfriend's over. She said she was kind

1382
01:01:33,360 --> 01:01:35,600
Speaker 2: of jealous of my boyfriend because he spends so much time.

1383
01:01:35,400 --> 01:01:36,720
Speaker 5: With me, even though he doesn't live with us.

1384
01:01:36,840 --> 01:01:37,240
Speaker 1: Oh.

1385
01:01:37,320 --> 01:01:40,080
Speaker 2: Then she admitted the part that honestly made my stomach draw.

1386
01:01:40,600 --> 01:01:43,080
Speaker 2: She said she would stand outside my door and listen

1387
01:01:43,120 --> 01:01:45,840
Speaker 2: to me and my boyfriend, I'm spicy sleep because she

1388
01:01:46,040 --> 01:01:48,400
Speaker 2: likes me and is attracted to me spicily.

1389
01:01:48,560 --> 01:01:51,480
Speaker 1: Oh oh wow. Okay, yeah, you gotta leave.

1390
01:01:51,560 --> 01:01:53,800
Speaker 2: You gotta get out of there, get like a ope.

1391
01:01:53,920 --> 01:01:55,320
Speaker 2: I think at this point you need to get like

1392
01:01:55,400 --> 01:01:59,720
Speaker 2: a somewhat is sublet to because this is a boo.

1393
01:02:00,040 --> 01:02:03,439
Speaker 10: Oh no, no, no, she's been she's been reading too much,

1394
01:02:04,200 --> 01:02:08,000
Speaker 10: like fan fixed stuff and like fantasizing. She's been fantasizing

1395
01:02:08,040 --> 01:02:08,560
Speaker 10: about you.

1396
01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:11,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, she denied using my stuff, but honestly, I'm not

1397
01:02:11,480 --> 01:02:13,680
Speaker 2: sure I believe her. I don't even know what the

1398
01:02:13,760 --> 01:02:16,240
Speaker 2: right reaction is here. I keep replaying in my head

1399
01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:19,680
Speaker 2: her admitting she stands there because she likes listening to me,

1400
01:02:20,440 --> 01:02:22,840
Speaker 2: like that is a normal hobby or something. It is

1401
01:02:22,880 --> 01:02:24,720
Speaker 2: messing with my head more than I thought it would.

1402
01:02:24,800 --> 01:02:27,120
Speaker 2: I genuinely would be like, I don't know if I

1403
01:02:27,160 --> 01:02:27,880
Speaker 2: can live with you.

1404
01:02:29,040 --> 01:02:32,560
Speaker 10: I am so disturbed, and I hate that I called it. Yeah,

1405
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:35,160
Speaker 10: oh man, I might be.

1406
01:02:35,120 --> 01:02:37,040
Speaker 2: Finding I would be finding the fastest way to get

1407
01:02:37,040 --> 01:02:37,760
Speaker 2: out of this house.

1408
01:02:37,880 --> 01:02:39,760
Speaker 1: How do you even navigate being around her for the

1409
01:02:39,800 --> 01:02:40,560
Speaker 1: next couple of days?

1410
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:41,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, I have no idea.

1411
01:02:42,160 --> 01:02:43,160
Speaker 1: You stay in a room.

1412
01:02:43,240 --> 01:02:44,160
Speaker 5: I would be so scared.

1413
01:02:44,320 --> 01:02:45,760
Speaker 1: Have the boyfriend over all the time?

1414
01:02:45,880 --> 01:02:48,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, stay over a boy really really scared?

1415
01:02:48,680 --> 01:02:51,400
Speaker 1: Can you talk out of this as I don't know adults?

1416
01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:52,600
Speaker 1: Can you be I'm not into you.

1417
01:02:53,240 --> 01:02:54,040
Speaker 5: I'm not into you.

1418
01:02:54,120 --> 01:02:57,680
Speaker 9: Too late it seems like she's done all she's into you.

1419
01:02:57,840 --> 01:03:01,400
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

1420
01:02:59,840 --> 01:03:03,480
Speaker 2: She continues. Oh No, apologized and said she did not

1421
01:03:03,640 --> 01:03:06,400
Speaker 2: mean to make me uncomfortable. She told me she tried

1422
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:08,360
Speaker 2: to be subtle and thought I might start to pick

1423
01:03:08,440 --> 01:03:11,280
Speaker 2: up on how she felt, which is honestly wild because

1424
01:03:11,320 --> 01:03:13,840
Speaker 2: I had no idea. Plus I have a boyfriend.

1425
01:03:14,280 --> 01:03:14,800
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1426
01:03:14,840 --> 01:03:17,480
Speaker 2: I told her I am with my boyfriend and not interested,

1427
01:03:17,520 --> 01:03:19,040
Speaker 2: and she said she respects that.

1428
01:03:19,440 --> 01:03:19,880
Speaker 6: Does she know?

1429
01:03:20,680 --> 01:03:22,880
Speaker 2: She said she will keep her distance and stop doing

1430
01:03:22,920 --> 01:03:25,680
Speaker 2: things that make me uncomfortable. I'm glad she didn't get

1431
01:03:25,720 --> 01:03:27,800
Speaker 2: angry or deny it, but I still don't really know

1432
01:03:27,800 --> 01:03:28,680
Speaker 2: how to feel about.

1433
01:03:28,520 --> 01:03:28,760
Speaker 7: All of this.

1434
01:03:29,200 --> 01:03:31,440
Speaker 10: Dude, if I had a roommate that liked me like this,

1435
01:03:32,200 --> 01:03:33,360
Speaker 10: I gotta go somewhere else.

1436
01:03:33,360 --> 01:03:35,120
Speaker 1: I can't it's kind of like just.

1437
01:03:35,120 --> 01:03:38,240
Speaker 2: The fact that she likes Ope. It's the fact that

1438
01:03:38,880 --> 01:03:42,880
Speaker 2: she purposely is doing things, maybe not intentionally, but is

1439
01:03:42,920 --> 01:03:46,919
Speaker 2: doing things that make Opie uncomfortable, like or just would

1440
01:03:47,040 --> 01:03:49,560
Speaker 2: make anyone uncomfortable, like standing outside of the room to

1441
01:03:49,680 --> 01:03:53,880
Speaker 2: listen to her. That's really really weird. At the end,

1442
01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:55,600
Speaker 2: before we got up, she said, if me and my

1443
01:03:55,640 --> 01:03:58,040
Speaker 2: boyfriend ever break up, she'll always be here for me.

1444
01:03:58,440 --> 01:04:00,760
Speaker 1: Oh, of course, lovely. That's good to know.

1445
01:04:01,360 --> 01:04:03,200
Speaker 2: I don't really know how to take that. That is

1446
01:04:03,240 --> 01:04:06,560
Speaker 2: basically where things are at right now. I'm still processing.

1447
01:04:06,760 --> 01:04:08,400
Speaker 2: By the way, this was so awkward to have to

1448
01:04:08,400 --> 01:04:10,920
Speaker 2: write down, but I wanted to give all the details.

1449
01:04:11,080 --> 01:04:13,120
Speaker 2: Definitely read my first post if you want this to

1450
01:04:13,120 --> 01:04:15,760
Speaker 2: make more sense. But that's the end of that story.

1451
01:04:15,840 --> 01:04:17,400
Speaker 1: Good luck, op oh man.

1452
01:04:17,640 --> 01:04:18,600
Speaker 2: I would get there out.

1453
01:04:18,440 --> 01:04:20,080
Speaker 10: Of there as quick as you can, though, how would

1454
01:04:20,120 --> 01:04:22,160
Speaker 10: you navigate just being in the same area as her?

1455
01:04:22,280 --> 01:04:23,520
Speaker 1: Though she says she's going.

1456
01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:26,360
Speaker 2: To back off, Yeah, I would, just like is she

1457
01:04:26,640 --> 01:04:28,439
Speaker 2: I'd probably avoided her as much as I could.

1458
01:04:28,480 --> 01:04:30,520
Speaker 9: I feel like, now that the truth's out, she's gonna

1459
01:04:30,520 --> 01:04:31,960
Speaker 9: even triple down on Yeah.

1460
01:04:31,960 --> 01:04:33,680
Speaker 2: I would have voider her as much as possible until

1461
01:04:33,680 --> 01:04:35,560
Speaker 2: I could get out of there, Ahlie.

1462
01:04:36,160 --> 01:04:37,480
Speaker 5: And that's the end of this story.