WEBVTT - The Big C 0:00:00.360 --> 0:00:01.520 Fuck cancer. 0:00:03.320 --> 0:00:07.600 Facts ditto. That's the sound bite and the horse it 0:00:07.680 --> 0:00:08.159 rolled in on. 0:00:08.440 --> 0:00:08.959 Wow. 0:00:10.840 --> 0:00:13.960 It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight 0:00:13.960 --> 0:00:16.000 from the heart. Since then, we've gone on to become 0:00:16.040 --> 0:00:19.439 Webby Award winning podcasters in New York Times bestselling authors. 0:00:19.520 --> 0:00:22.000 Dead Ass was more than a podcast for us. It 0:00:22.120 --> 0:00:25.480 was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable. 0:00:25.079 --> 0:00:28.320 Be wrang or, but most apportantly be us. 0:00:28.360 --> 0:00:31.280 But as we know, life keeps evolving, and so do we, 0:00:31.400 --> 0:00:34.880 and through it all, one thing has never changed. This 0:00:35.360 --> 0:00:38.560 is a sever after ass because we got a lot 0:00:38.680 --> 0:00:39.440 to talk about. 0:00:40.960 --> 0:00:45.800 Story time, so I'm gonna take y'all through. This is 0:00:45.840 --> 0:00:48.479 the first time I'm gonna do time jumps in the story. Okay, 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:53.920 are we gonna start with September twenty twenty five. September 0:00:53.920 --> 0:00:56.640 twenty twenty five, y'all heard this story me and came 0:00:56.680 --> 0:00:59.800 down here with the podcast crew. Pops has a s 0:01:01.720 --> 0:01:04.840 got to fix that. I'm like, yo, I got this. 0:01:05.040 --> 0:01:08.119 You know what I'm saying. I studied exercise physiology. All 0:01:08.160 --> 0:01:09.959 we gotta do is move the body, get them back. 0:01:09.959 --> 0:01:11.840 I used to work with stroke patients all the time, 0:01:12.000 --> 0:01:13.640 I said, Pops, let's go out, get in the sun. 0:01:13.720 --> 0:01:16.759 Let's move around all September me and Pops moving around 0:01:16.760 --> 0:01:21.280 here getting better. October come up heart failure. I'm like, okay, 0:01:22.040 --> 0:01:24.720 we can get through this. I studied exercise physiology. I 0:01:24.760 --> 0:01:26.200 know what to do. We can go outside in the sun. 0:01:26.240 --> 0:01:28.080 We can get some movement, get this heart moving again, 0:01:28.280 --> 0:01:30.440 get the circulation. We're doing all this, I toob but 0:01:30.520 --> 0:01:37.199 right November comes up cancer. Well, can't work out through that, Bruh. 0:01:37.400 --> 0:01:40.120 Got to actually go to the doctor and get some 0:01:40.200 --> 0:01:44.920 shit done them three months finding out all that information 0:01:45.640 --> 0:01:47.960 about your dad. I'm gonna say something for the first 0:01:47.960 --> 0:01:51.120 time in front of everybody that I never said in 0:01:51.160 --> 0:01:58.160 front of you. I thought Pops was gonna die time. Yes, so. 0:02:00.680 --> 0:02:02.160 My father when he. 0:02:03.600 --> 0:02:08.120 Was on the tail end of things and finished his treatment, 0:02:08.480 --> 0:02:10.960 finished the treatments. I hate to say his treatment and 0:02:11.000 --> 0:02:14.240 his diagnosis because I never claimed that over his life 0:02:14.320 --> 0:02:17.640 it was just a diagnosis and treatments, because I feel 0:02:17.639 --> 0:02:19.840 like when you put the possession on things sometimes it 0:02:19.880 --> 0:02:21.920 makes it feel like it's yours. And I felt like 0:02:22.000 --> 0:02:24.320 it's yeah, and I'm like, it's not it. When he 0:02:24.360 --> 0:02:31.240 finished the treatments associated with his diagnosis, he said to me. 0:02:31.600 --> 0:02:34.360 When I said, Dad, I'm like, yo, you're looking like, 0:02:34.480 --> 0:02:36.880 you know, one percent better every day, Like how are 0:02:36.919 --> 0:02:37.360 you feeling? 0:02:37.400 --> 0:02:38.919 And he said to me, you can't keep a good 0:02:38.919 --> 0:02:39.480 man down. 0:02:40.160 --> 0:02:41.760 Oh I know where you're going with this. 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:44.160 So when he said that, I was just like bo 0:02:44.320 --> 0:02:46.079 bo bob, because of course I. 0:02:46.040 --> 0:02:51.560 Heard the tune in my head right, so you know this, 0:02:51.880 --> 0:02:54.400 You can't keep a good man down. 0:02:54.720 --> 0:02:58.760 Always keep smile, and they want I'm too frown, keep 0:02:58.800 --> 0:03:03.080 my vibes and used to miground. They can never ever 0:03:03.240 --> 0:03:06.720 take my ground, stolid as a rock. 0:03:07.000 --> 0:03:08.760 They just can't stop you. 0:03:08.840 --> 0:03:15.160 Now you're just cast me. 0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:20.440 Now, No, that was my college when you come out 0:03:20.440 --> 0:03:20.760 to that. 0:03:21.240 --> 0:03:24.520 Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, shout out to Pops. 0:03:24.639 --> 0:03:26.520 Yeah, man, that song could could be. 0:03:28.280 --> 0:03:30.680 Yeah right exactly. It could totally be an anthem for 0:03:30.720 --> 0:03:32.600 so many things. But when he said that to me, 0:03:32.639 --> 0:03:36.200 I was like, bro, you were absolutely right, You're absolutely right. 0:03:36.280 --> 0:03:41.720 And man, did my father ever prove anything to me 0:03:42.800 --> 0:03:43.320 in life? 0:03:44.160 --> 0:03:45.960 This was the time where I was like, wow. 0:03:45.920 --> 0:03:47.600 To you, all of us, yeah. 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:49.839 All of us, All right, y'all, we'll be back. 0:03:52.400 --> 0:03:54.720 Let me take it back to storytime. I said something 0:03:54.760 --> 0:03:56.760 at the very end of storytime that I know you've 0:03:56.760 --> 0:04:02.040 never heard me say, but I thought Pops was going 0:04:02.120 --> 0:04:04.680 to die. And the reason why just me being honest 0:04:04.720 --> 0:04:09.720 is because remember in two thousand and eleven, I started 0:04:09.720 --> 0:04:13.000 working at Parisi's Speed School. Shout out to Kenny Munson 0:04:13.040 --> 0:04:14.840 and Gary Miller. Kenny Munson was the owner of the 0:04:14.920 --> 0:04:17.560 Parisi Speed School and Gary Miller was a program director 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:19.760 and at the time they were also trying to find 0:04:19.800 --> 0:04:22.919 ways to bridge the gap between finances and sports performance. 0:04:23.279 --> 0:04:27.080 So during the day, there was a old person's home 0:04:27.160 --> 0:04:29.480 that was that like further down to Staten Island, but 0:04:29.520 --> 0:04:31.880 they needed rehab and all of us had to take 0:04:31.920 --> 0:04:35.480 exercise physiology and kinesiology classes take on NASM to make 0:04:35.480 --> 0:04:37.600 sure that we were good with sports medicine. A lot 0:04:37.640 --> 0:04:40.280 of those elderly people needed to go to rehab after 0:04:40.320 --> 0:04:42.120 they had strokes, so they was like, hey, how about 0:04:42.160 --> 0:04:43.680 you bring them here in the middle of the day. 0:04:43.680 --> 0:04:46.480 There's no students, no kids here, you know, we can 0:04:46.560 --> 0:04:49.560 have our trainers work with them. So for about two 0:04:49.600 --> 0:04:54.000 months I was working with a lot of stroke survivors, 0:04:54.040 --> 0:04:56.240 people who just needed to get their motor functions back. 0:04:56.680 --> 0:04:59.159 And during that time, The biggest thing that I noticed 0:04:59.200 --> 0:05:01.280 is the people who go back with the people who 0:05:01.360 --> 0:05:05.240 wanted to get back the mentality as soon as they 0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:09.599 got here. I'll never forget this one, lady, Myrtle. I 0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:12.640 told you a story about older older Italian woman. Right, 0:05:13.120 --> 0:05:17.400 she comes in and she has the walker and she's 0:05:17.440 --> 0:05:20.000 just like, hey, you know's murder or whatever. And I 0:05:20.040 --> 0:05:22.800 said to her, I said, Myrtle, in two weeks, you 0:05:22.839 --> 0:05:26.159 ain't gonna need that walker. And Myrtle's old as said 0:05:26.160 --> 0:05:28.800 to me, I don't need this bitch now and through it. 0:05:30.240 --> 0:05:33.000 And I said, that's the type of mentality you have 0:05:33.120 --> 0:05:35.240 to have in order to come back from a stroke, 0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:38.760 because you have to believe it. I started believing Dad 0:05:38.880 --> 0:05:42.240 was gonna be okay when I started watching him get 0:05:42.320 --> 0:05:45.360 up on his own, like during chemo and stuff, and 0:05:45.360 --> 0:05:47.599 going to get on his little foot bike, and he 0:05:47.680 --> 0:05:49.839 had his bands and he was stretching his bands out 0:05:49.839 --> 0:05:51.520 every day on his own, like I didn't have to 0:05:51.560 --> 0:05:54.440 come in here and to say nothing. That's when I said, oh, 0:05:55.360 --> 0:05:59.520 he wants to be here. He don't want his grandkids 0:05:59.560 --> 0:06:02.440 to see him like that. He don't want his daughters 0:06:02.480 --> 0:06:04.880 and his son to see him like that Pop's going 0:06:04.960 --> 0:06:07.760 to be all right. And when I think about it now, 0:06:08.760 --> 0:06:11.400 those seven weeks, there was never a moment where we 0:06:11.520 --> 0:06:13.919 had to say, come on, Pops, let's go to treatment. 0:06:14.520 --> 0:06:16.560 He was always ready in the first one to go. 0:06:16.800 --> 0:06:17.200 Yeah. 0:06:17.240 --> 0:06:19.680 He's the one who changed my mind about whether or 0:06:19.680 --> 0:06:21.120 not he was going to make it when I watched 0:06:21.160 --> 0:06:22.000 how he attacked it. 0:06:22.520 --> 0:06:25.039 You're absolutely right, because I think we've all had that 0:06:25.320 --> 0:06:28.080 moment where we were like, oh shit, like this is 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:30.520 like the trifecta of things going on, and I'm like, 0:06:30.640 --> 0:06:35.560 for him at his age seventy three, and I'm not 0:06:35.600 --> 0:06:37.480 gonna disclose all of the other things that he was 0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:40.120 dealing with and still deals with, but just knowing that 0:06:40.160 --> 0:06:44.000 theis the chips were so stacked against him, and it 0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:48.800 was like several doctors from different specialties having to literally 0:06:48.839 --> 0:06:54.240 get together and develop a plan for him through all 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:56.680 of this, and that definitely helps to have, for example, 0:06:56.720 --> 0:06:58.240 like my mom and my sister, my mom who's a 0:06:58.279 --> 0:07:00.600 retired nurse, my sister an active or is my brother 0:07:00.680 --> 0:07:03.720 in the healthcare field, So everybody bringing their own perspective 0:07:04.080 --> 0:07:07.120 on things being able to advocate for him. But we 0:07:07.120 --> 0:07:09.680 were so confident in the treatment plan that they had 0:07:09.680 --> 0:07:13.680 set forth for him, so that coupled with his attitude, 0:07:13.760 --> 0:07:16.840 I think helped all of us because there was a moment, 0:07:16.920 --> 0:07:18.880 and there were several moments over the past couple months, 0:07:18.880 --> 0:07:20.920 but there was a moment in particular that stands out 0:07:20.960 --> 0:07:23.840 where Deval and I were sitting outside just kind of 0:07:24.800 --> 0:07:28.440 in silence but with each other, and then my mom 0:07:28.560 --> 0:07:32.120 came outside in the front yeah, and we just all 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:34.080 kind of sat there for a minute, and it was 0:07:34.120 --> 0:07:37.120 like a collective cry because we didn't want to do 0:07:37.120 --> 0:07:39.480 it in the house around dad, because it doesn't help 0:07:39.800 --> 0:07:43.480 to have all those emotions flowing when someone's actually dealing 0:07:43.520 --> 0:07:45.720 with this. But we just didn't know how to cope, 0:07:46.040 --> 0:07:48.640 and it felt like we had moments where we individually 0:07:48.760 --> 0:07:52.200 were trying to cope without burdening the others with it, 0:07:53.160 --> 0:07:56.640 and collectively in that moment, it just kind of happened 0:07:56.880 --> 0:07:58.640 where we all just kind of let. 0:07:58.520 --> 0:08:01.040 It loose and just talked to about how. 0:08:01.280 --> 0:08:03.440 We were going to be able to manage what the 0:08:03.480 --> 0:08:06.200 next couple of weeks would look like. And I realized, 0:08:06.240 --> 0:08:09.040 I think in that conversation and even talking to Deval 0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:13.480 consecutively after that for the next couple of days, we 0:08:13.480 --> 0:08:15.880 were so concerned about the things that were what ifs, 0:08:16.880 --> 0:08:19.800 and I found myself being so worried about, like, what 0:08:20.000 --> 0:08:23.240 if we don't have dad, what if we have to. 0:08:23.200 --> 0:08:26.600 Explain to the kids xyz. What if he never comes 0:08:26.640 --> 0:08:27.240 back from this? 0:08:27.320 --> 0:08:29.520 What if his quality of life is going to be 0:08:29.600 --> 0:08:31.720 so drastically changed that he's not even going to be 0:08:31.760 --> 0:08:35.599 motivated to want to get back. And I had to 0:08:35.640 --> 0:08:37.840 stop for a second, and your dad is actually the 0:08:37.920 --> 0:08:41.240 person who gave me a big hug, because he was 0:08:41.280 --> 0:08:43.079 in town back and forth as well too, but he. 0:08:43.640 --> 0:08:45.560 Gave me a big hug one day when he. 0:08:45.480 --> 0:08:50.400 Was about to leave, and he said, one day at 0:08:50.440 --> 0:08:54.920 a time, one hour at a time, stopped stressing over 0:08:54.960 --> 0:08:57.640 the things that could potentially be, and let's deal with 0:08:57.679 --> 0:09:02.640 what's actually happening. And I was like, and it was 0:09:02.679 --> 0:09:04.160 probably the way he said it too, because you know 0:09:04.200 --> 0:09:06.280 your dad, he's like a big teddy bear, and he 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:09.600 said it with such compassion in that moment that I 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:10.040 was like. 0:09:10.240 --> 0:09:14.800 Yeah, Yadi, and troy ellis, yeah, yeah, it. 0:09:14.800 --> 0:09:15.320 Might have been that. 0:09:15.920 --> 0:09:16.040 You know. 0:09:16.080 --> 0:09:17.400 It was the way he hugged me. And then he 0:09:17.440 --> 0:09:18.000 looked at. 0:09:17.840 --> 0:09:20.800 Me and he was just like stop worrying about what 0:09:20.840 --> 0:09:24.320 could potentially happen. Let's deal with what's actually happening. He said, 0:09:24.320 --> 0:09:26.720 you're going to stress yourself out with all of the 0:09:26.760 --> 0:09:29.880 what ifs, And I was like, you know what, that 0:09:30.000 --> 0:09:32.120 makes so much sense. You know, but I think it's 0:09:32.200 --> 0:09:34.360 human nature for you to just think about all of 0:09:34.360 --> 0:09:37.959 the possible worst case scenarios as a defense mechanism to 0:09:38.320 --> 0:09:42.520 prepare yourself with what may potentially come. So that was 0:09:42.520 --> 0:09:45.920 a moment where I felt like, Okay, this can be manageable. 0:09:46.400 --> 0:09:48.560 I think it's important to tell people, like how the 0:09:48.640 --> 0:09:51.120 diagnosis came and what happens when it comes to cancer. 0:09:51.160 --> 0:09:54.600 A lot of people don't know what happens. They just think, oh, 0:09:54.600 --> 0:09:57.440 you got cancer and now you're going to die. Dad 0:09:57.480 --> 0:10:00.600 went through first. He went and got how they discovered 0:10:00.600 --> 0:10:01.439 the cancer at first? 0:10:01.480 --> 0:10:01.800 Was it up? 0:10:01.880 --> 0:10:03.760 So you know, after the stroke, it was almost and 0:10:03.760 --> 0:10:06.839 it's almost like crazy how things happened because. 0:10:06.600 --> 0:10:08.080 He had the lump in his neck. 0:10:08.160 --> 0:10:10.240 But it saved his life, It really did. 0:10:10.320 --> 0:10:11.920 Because he had the lump in his neck, but he 0:10:11.920 --> 0:10:14.680 thought maybe it was a stollen tonsil. You know, it 0:10:14.760 --> 0:10:16.439 was kind of on and off for a couple months, 0:10:16.440 --> 0:10:18.800 but it started to get a bit bigger, and when 0:10:18.840 --> 0:10:20.680 he had the stroke, of course they do an MRI 0:10:20.920 --> 0:10:23.280 and they do all these different scans, cat scan, this, 0:10:23.400 --> 0:10:27.400 that the third and it was in that MRI that 0:10:27.480 --> 0:10:30.559 they realized what it was. Based on the MRI results, 0:10:30.600 --> 0:10:33.520 they were able to tell that it was likely with 0:10:33.600 --> 0:10:36.839 a very high percentage oral fled jill cancer so at 0:10:36.840 --> 0:10:38.960 the base of the tongue that had spread to the 0:10:39.000 --> 0:10:40.680 lymph node in his neck on the left side. 0:10:40.720 --> 0:10:41.960 So that's what he was feeling. 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:44.400 Which whenever you hear that a cancer spread to the 0:10:44.480 --> 0:10:47.800 lymph node, you automatically assumed death. Had we had dealt 0:10:47.840 --> 0:10:51.480 with this before with alcion, where once they told us 0:10:51.480 --> 0:10:53.680 that the cancer spread to the lymphos, all of the 0:10:53.720 --> 0:10:56.160 prognosis from the doctors was like, oh, there's nothing we 0:10:56.160 --> 0:10:58.600 can do. So when we had heard the dad's cancer 0:10:58.600 --> 0:11:01.440 had spread to the lymph node, at first I was like, well, 0:11:02.600 --> 0:11:04.320 they could cut it out, but then he would have 0:11:04.360 --> 0:11:06.040 no base of his tongue. How does he eat, how 0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:08.200 does he drink? How does he speak? And then the 0:11:08.240 --> 0:11:10.680 doctor was saying like, well, he's at a point in 0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:12.280 his life now where he can't have the surgery to 0:11:12.280 --> 0:11:15.760 take it out, but he could get chemo and radiation 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:18.160 and they can shrink it enough to where it can 0:11:18.200 --> 0:11:20.360 disappear and go away. And I think that the doctor 0:11:20.400 --> 0:11:22.600 said that there was like a ninety eight chance of 0:11:23.360 --> 0:11:25.960 ninety eight percent chance of recovery even though he was 0:11:25.960 --> 0:11:28.520 still stage three. So a lot of times when people 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:30.800 here stage three cancer, they think it's a death sentence. 0:11:31.120 --> 0:11:32.680 And the reason why I think it's important for us 0:11:32.720 --> 0:11:36.240 to tell the story is because Dad gave me hope 0:11:36.960 --> 0:11:41.199 for what's possible right seventy three. Dad isn't a workout warrior. 0:11:42.080 --> 0:11:45.360 I've never seen my dad run in life ever, Like 0:11:45.440 --> 0:11:50.040 I've never seen my father run. And I said to myself, 0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:53.360 wait a second, I asked my brother, I asked my sister. 0:11:54.000 --> 0:11:57.160 My father has never I've never seen him run, like. 0:11:58.960 --> 0:11:59.760 I promise you it was. 0:12:00.120 --> 0:12:00.640 Barret the thing. 0:12:02.880 --> 0:12:04.920 But that's the truth. Though, if he gonna move somewhere, 0:12:05.280 --> 0:12:05.920 it's gonna. 0:12:05.679 --> 0:12:09.080 Be yeah, for sure. But my father doesn't run. So 0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:10.920 it's funny even dealing with some of his heart things. 0:12:10.960 --> 0:12:12.400 When he goes to the doctor and they're like, are 0:12:12.400 --> 0:12:15.360 you feeling shortness of birth? Are you feeling this? He's like, no, no, nope, 0:12:15.360 --> 0:12:17.560 I'm final he would never be short of breath because 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:20.480 he didn't move fast enough to ever be short of breath, 0:12:20.520 --> 0:12:22.520 you know. So some of these things were like not 0:12:22.600 --> 0:12:25.280 the best baseline or not the best gauge because like 0:12:25.360 --> 0:12:26.920 that is not active. 0:12:27.400 --> 0:12:30.360 So you figured this stroke and then the heart attack, 0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:32.720 well not the heart attack. His heart is operating at 0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:36.120 twenty six percent correct, it was like thirty five thirty five, 0:12:36.720 --> 0:12:39.280 which is like that's one third of where your heart's 0:12:39.320 --> 0:12:42.120 supposed to be operating. So in my mind, when we 0:12:42.200 --> 0:12:44.760 hear someone's going through that and that and they have 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:47.959 to get chemo, which pretty much takes all of the 0:12:48.040 --> 0:12:50.480 nutrients out of you, it destroys everything. It destroys the 0:12:50.600 --> 0:12:52.480 good and the bad. But those who destroys all the 0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:55.520 good things, It's like he's supposed to be recovering from 0:12:55.559 --> 0:12:57.520 a stroke in his heart, but now we're going to 0:12:57.559 --> 0:12:59.560 put chemo. I did not think there was a way 0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:03.520 possible for him to get through this. And we did 0:13:03.559 --> 0:13:05.880 get through this, and there were things that we did 0:13:05.960 --> 0:13:09.000 extra as a family that everybody can't do. But I 0:13:09.040 --> 0:13:10.319 do want to talk about. 0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:13.240 This right and as a disclaimer too, we understand that 0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:15.080 everyone's prognosis is different. 0:13:15.160 --> 0:13:18.120 Yes, everyone's who has cancer. Anyone who has cancer. 0:13:18.120 --> 0:13:20.800 I should say things are different, like treatments are different, 0:13:21.000 --> 0:13:23.480 options are different. Because there was a point where I'm like, 0:13:23.480 --> 0:13:25.920 do we go the holistic right route? Do I, you know, 0:13:26.080 --> 0:13:28.880 send them to Mexico to this treatment center? Like what 0:13:29.480 --> 0:13:32.520 is it that would be the best outcome? Would garner 0:13:32.559 --> 0:13:35.800 the best outcome? But we also wanted to charge him 0:13:35.840 --> 0:13:38.880 with the autonomy over his life and his prognosis to 0:13:38.920 --> 0:13:39.920 say this is what I want to do. 0:13:39.920 --> 0:13:40.720 It was his decision. 0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:43.600 Yeah, because Kadina and I also thought about manage seventy three. 0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:45.640 If you're going, you know, your heart is only a 0:13:45.679 --> 0:13:48.040 third of percent and you're coming off a stroke, maybe 0:13:48.080 --> 0:13:49.800 it would be best for us not to put him 0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:52.360 through chemo and radiation if that's going to make his 0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:55.400 quality of life bad for the you know, the future. 0:13:55.480 --> 0:13:57.120 So we thought about that, but then at the same 0:13:57.160 --> 0:13:59.719 time we were like, yo, it's not our life, it's 0:13:59.760 --> 0:14:03.280 his life. There's no right or wrong answer. What you 0:14:03.360 --> 0:14:05.480 have to do is allow people to make their decisions 0:14:05.520 --> 0:14:08.400 for their life and support them one thousand percent so 0:14:08.440 --> 0:14:10.600 that they can feel like I did everything in my power. 0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:12.920 So ultimately that's what we chose because that said, Yo, 0:14:12.960 --> 0:14:14.600 I want to get radiation and chemo and get this 0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:15.360 done with right. 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:16.600 And they believe it was seven weeks. 0:14:16.600 --> 0:14:18.040 Seven weeks there you go five. 0:14:17.880 --> 0:14:20.400 Days radiation, one of those days chemo, So it's not 0:14:20.440 --> 0:14:22.320 like he was getting chemo every day. But the purpose 0:14:22.320 --> 0:14:24.400 of it was to try to weaken the tumor so 0:14:24.440 --> 0:14:26.680 that way it'd be easier for the radiation to kill it. 0:14:27.320 --> 0:14:29.000 Now, there are things that I do want to talk 0:14:29.040 --> 0:14:31.560 about that I know because we did some outside stuff helped. 0:14:32.720 --> 0:14:36.120 All of the things I've read about tumors, whether it 0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:40.720 be in textbooks, whether it be online, whether it be TikTok. 0:14:41.920 --> 0:14:47.120 Sunlight and sugar, Well, sugar helps tumors grow. The more 0:14:47.160 --> 0:14:48.800 sugar you eat, no matter where the tumor is, what 0:14:48.840 --> 0:14:51.760 it is, it helps the tumor grow. Sunlight and oxygen 0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:55.440 kills tumors. So for me, I told, okay, man, if 0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:58.560 there's one thing we can do with this, Pops can't 0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:03.160 drink no more, no more cokes, no more alcohol, no 0:15:03.240 --> 0:15:06.640 more sugar in the catch up dairy, Like, we really 0:15:06.760 --> 0:15:09.480 all have to be super disciplined about cutting out the 0:15:09.520 --> 0:15:12.520 sugar at least for seven weeks while we go through this. 0:15:12.600 --> 0:15:14.240 That's something we're going to do in this house. So 0:15:14.280 --> 0:15:15.600 if you look at his house now, if you look 0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:19.200 at the bar, there's no alcohol on that bar, period. 0:15:19.280 --> 0:15:21.560 And this is the first time in six years that 0:15:21.560 --> 0:15:22.800 that bar isn't stock full. 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:26.200 Actually you actually I didn't even realize that before I 0:15:26.320 --> 0:15:27.920 realized this more. 0:15:29.680 --> 0:15:33.160 Yeah, but how is that adjustment for him? The sugar 0:15:33.200 --> 0:15:34.000 and the alcohol. 0:15:34.320 --> 0:15:37.080 Well, at first, in a very very beginning, it was 0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:38.760 an adjustment because he would come up to me and 0:15:38.760 --> 0:15:41.600 he'd be like, you know, you know your mother says 0:15:41.640 --> 0:15:43.400 this alcohol, I tinket is to drinking. 0:15:44.600 --> 0:15:45.240 My friends. 0:15:45.520 --> 0:15:47.280 Some of my friends, they drink more than me and 0:15:47.320 --> 0:15:50.240 they don't have no stupid cancer. That's how he would 0:15:50.240 --> 0:15:51.280 talk to me. And I know he was trying to 0:15:51.360 --> 0:15:53.200 rationalize the fact that he should still have a drink. 0:15:53.520 --> 0:15:55.680 And sometimes I'd be like, man, he's seventy three years old, Like, 0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:58.120 let him have a drink. But then I would look 0:15:58.160 --> 0:15:59.920 over at him and I would look at his grandkid 0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:03.480 my kids, and be like, nah, bro, like now you 0:16:03.520 --> 0:16:06.000 have a responsibility to fight this the best way you 0:16:06.080 --> 0:16:09.480 can because your grandkids are watching, My kids are watching, 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:11.920 and I'm not gonna have them coming home and seeing 0:16:11.960 --> 0:16:15.400 that Granddad go to chemo, go to radiation, come home 0:16:15.400 --> 0:16:17.400 and have a drink and then get smaller and. 0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:18.880 Smaller, defeating the purpose. 0:16:19.200 --> 0:16:22.360 And what also didn't help was with this particular cancer, 0:16:22.360 --> 0:16:25.800 in the treatment that he got, his swallow became painful, 0:16:26.440 --> 0:16:28.280 his mouth developed sores. 0:16:27.920 --> 0:16:31.400 So just anything ingesting orally was a problem for him. 0:16:31.480 --> 0:16:34.640 Yeah, So after week four or five, which is when 0:16:34.680 --> 0:16:37.239 they said it would start to impact him, his appetite 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:38.560 decreased drastically. 0:16:39.280 --> 0:16:41.160 He was no longer able to eat orally. 0:16:41.440 --> 0:16:43.600 So we had to get a feeding tube for him 0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:46.400 to be able to feed him through the tube. Now 0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:49.400 that we're almost four weeks out of ringing the bell, 0:16:49.640 --> 0:16:51.720 he's slowly starting to get that function back. 0:16:52.200 --> 0:16:54.320 So he would he would try to push through it. 0:16:54.920 --> 0:16:59.400 My sister, being like that firm nurse but also compassionate, 0:16:59.520 --> 0:17:00.880 was able to poke him. 0:17:01.520 --> 0:17:05.120 Tell the truth, Tell the truth. Sakari is a drill 0:17:05.240 --> 0:17:08.560 sergeants as much as I am on the boys. That's 0:17:08.560 --> 0:17:11.120 how Sakari is when it comes to medicine. And this 0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:14.160 is her dad. I watched them when you was away 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:16.600 filming and I was watching. She was like, I don't 0:17:16.600 --> 0:17:20.240 care you have to do this, dad, Remember the g tube. 0:17:20.440 --> 0:17:24.120 She was telling him from beginning to get that's what happens. Yeah, 0:17:24.160 --> 0:17:25.600 she was like, no, you're gonna do. 0:17:25.600 --> 0:17:27.280 This seeing another side of things. 0:17:27.440 --> 0:17:30.240 She was on top of everything like that whatever, and 0:17:30.280 --> 0:17:32.760 she was unapriogetic about the fact. 0:17:32.560 --> 0:17:33.639 That you have to do this. 0:17:33.720 --> 0:17:35.080 He's like, She's like, do you want to be able 0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:37.399 to eat and swallow again in life or do you 0:17:37.440 --> 0:17:39.280 want that muscle reflex to atrophy? 0:17:39.600 --> 0:17:41.360 You're going to have to try to swallow some. 0:17:41.320 --> 0:17:47.920 Of this, will use it. She was She wasn't playing, 0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:50.159 And that's part of the thing that we need to 0:17:50.160 --> 0:17:52.560 talk about too. When someone is going through this, there 0:17:52.600 --> 0:17:54.840 has to be someone in the family who is not 0:17:54.880 --> 0:17:57.879 going to concede to that person's feelings. It's easy to 0:17:57.920 --> 0:18:00.119 concede to that person's feelings all the time because is 0:18:00.119 --> 0:18:02.680 they're going through something and you want to be empathetic. 0:18:03.520 --> 0:18:05.960 Yeah, Like I was the one that was like, all right, dad, Well, like, 0:18:06.560 --> 0:18:08.680 if you don't want to, it's okay. 0:18:09.080 --> 0:18:09.760 It's funny too. 0:18:09.800 --> 0:18:13.320 How us three children dealt with it differently. My brother 0:18:13.720 --> 0:18:15.679 is the director of mission at a nursing home, so 0:18:15.720 --> 0:18:18.159 he sees the worst of people. He sees them after falling, 0:18:18.200 --> 0:18:21.159 he sees them when they're in rehab. So Tristan was like, 0:18:21.320 --> 0:18:23.560 I don't want to see it, complete disconnect. 0:18:23.880 --> 0:18:24.720 That's not my dad. 0:18:24.800 --> 0:18:27.239 You know how everyone revers their father in a certain light. 0:18:27.320 --> 0:18:28.920 He's like, I don't want to see my dad like that. 0:18:29.240 --> 0:18:30.960 So at first I was just like, dude, where's this nigga? 0:18:31.200 --> 0:18:33.600 Like he can't book a flight to come down here too, 0:18:33.760 --> 0:18:35.800 But then I also realized when he did finally book 0:18:35.840 --> 0:18:38.679 his flight to come he just he dealt with it 0:18:38.800 --> 0:18:41.720