WEBVTT - Second Cup: How to stop being late

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<v Speaker 1>Good morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is about how to stop being late. Let

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<v Speaker 1>me start by saying that I find punctuality to be

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<v Speaker 1>a fascinating concept. It's more about expectations than about time itself.

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<v Speaker 1>There are definitely cultural elements to it. If you're lucky

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<v Speaker 1>enough to be invited to a party in Brazil, for instance,

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<v Speaker 1>showing up at the stated time is actually rude to

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<v Speaker 1>your hosts. They won't be expecting anyone until about sixty

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<v Speaker 1>minutes after the start. When I was visiting Japan, on

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<v Speaker 1>the other hand, my tour bus actually left someone who

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't on the bus at the time our guide said

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<v Speaker 1>we were going to leave. Punctuality is incredibly important there,

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<v Speaker 1>which is why the trains always run on time. Different

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<v Speaker 1>offices have different attitudes toward punctuality. It's one of the

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<v Speaker 1>first things people learn when starting a new job. In

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<v Speaker 1>some places, all meetings start ten minutes late, because it's

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<v Speaker 1>understood that you're coming from other meetings. In other places,

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<v Speaker 1>meetings in ten minutes early, so the next meetings can

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<v Speaker 1>start on time. Either system can work, at least until

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<v Speaker 1>these two places try to do business with each other.

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<v Speaker 1>In any case, while being late is about expectations, not time,

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<v Speaker 1>I know it's a common source of unhappiness. Indeed, when

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<v Speaker 1>people tell me that they have trouble with time management,

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<v Speaker 1>they often mean that they're always late. Defined here is

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<v Speaker 1>not meeting someone else's time expectations. Very few people enjoy

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<v Speaker 1>being late by this definition. Sure, there are probably some

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<v Speaker 1>people who view it as a power play. Look at me,

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<v Speaker 1>I can make other people wait because I am so important.

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<v Speaker 1>But I think that most normal, non psychopathic late people

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<v Speaker 1>really hate the idea that they are causing annoyance and inconvenience.

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<v Speaker 1>That sense of unease causes people to make terrible decisions.

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<v Speaker 1>They run red lights and speed through residential neighborhoods. One

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<v Speaker 1>well known study found that seminary students ask to prepare

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<v Speaker 1>a sermon on the good Samaritan who's in the Bible

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<v Speaker 1>because he stopped to help somebody. We're highly likely to

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<v Speaker 1>walk right past someone in need of medical assistance when

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<v Speaker 1>they were told that they were late to deliver their talks.

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<v Speaker 1>I appreciate the researcher's sense of humor, but this does

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<v Speaker 1>not speak well for human nature. Fortunately, there's a simple

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<v Speaker 1>way to avoid being late. The key is realizing that

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<v Speaker 1>most things that make us late are predictable. They fall

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<v Speaker 1>into that category that Donald Rumsfeld once called known unknowns.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't know how much traffic there will be on

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<v Speaker 1>Friday afternoon at five pm, but it probably won't be none.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't know which family member will forget something on

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<v Speaker 1>the way out the door, but the odds are good

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<v Speaker 1>that somebody will need to go back for something. You

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<v Speaker 1>don't know which of your direct reports will stop you

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<v Speaker 1>as you're leaving to catch your train, but no doubt

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<v Speaker 1>someone will need to talk with you. In each of

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<v Speaker 1>these cases, you don't know exactly what will fill your time,

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<v Speaker 1>but you can be pretty sure something will fill your time,

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<v Speaker 1>and if you don't plan for that, you'll be late.

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<v Speaker 1>The best way to plan for it is simply to

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<v Speaker 1>build in extra time. This seems obvious, but it's actually

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<v Speaker 1>life changing. When I talk to people who are always

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<v Speaker 1>on time, they almost universally leave ten to fifteen minutes

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<v Speaker 1>before they absolutely have to. They may not even recognize

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<v Speaker 1>that this is what they're doing, but when you talk

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<v Speaker 1>to them, they say things like, well, church is ten

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<v Speaker 1>minutes away, so we leave at nine forty for the

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<v Speaker 1>ten o'clock service. You can do the math and see

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<v Speaker 1>that this is twenty minutes, not ten. But the person

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<v Speaker 1>has built in time for someone to decide it's cold

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<v Speaker 1>and she needs a coat, and to find parking, and

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<v Speaker 1>to let a child decide that she wants to go

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<v Speaker 1>to Sunday school instead of going to the service, and

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<v Speaker 1>so they're in the pews when the minister stands up.

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<v Speaker 1>Whereas someone else might see that church is ten minutes

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<v Speaker 1>away and plan to get in the car at nine

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<v Speaker 1>to fifty, then they always show up in the middle

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<v Speaker 1>of that first hymn wondering what happened. Likewise, someone who

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<v Speaker 1>wants to catch the five thirty five pm train from

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<v Speaker 1>a station that's a fifteen minute walk from the office could,

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<v Speaker 1>in theory leave at five to eighteen pm, but it

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<v Speaker 1>might be better to start walking out at five oh five.

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<v Speaker 1>When your colleague stops you to announce that her team

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<v Speaker 1>actually isn't going to make that deadline on Friday. You

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<v Speaker 1>can deal with this without also having the hard choice

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<v Speaker 1>then of missing your train. Of course, this is easier

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<v Speaker 1>said than done. It's hard to stop doing what we're doing.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that what also happens is people worry they'll

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<v Speaker 1>be too early, and then they'll just be sitting there

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<v Speaker 1>wasting time. I have two responses to that. One is

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<v Speaker 1>that if you are early, just open up an ebook

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<v Speaker 1>on your phone and treat this as found me time.

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<v Speaker 1>But I've also noticed that people who are chronically late

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<v Speaker 1>tend to be so far off in their estimation skills

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<v Speaker 1>that what they think will make them early in fact

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<v Speaker 1>makes them on time. So think through your upcoming day.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you always late for something? Why? What would happen

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<v Speaker 1>if you set your departure time ten minutes earlier? It

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<v Speaker 1>can't happen. Maybe it can't happen for a good reason.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe it's not a priority to you be on time.

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<v Speaker 1>But if it couldn't happen, well, I promise life feels

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<v Speaker 1>so much more relaxing. Well, you're not trying to cram

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<v Speaker 1>in one more thing in the meantime. This is Laura.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of

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<v Speaker 1>our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you.

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<v Speaker 1>You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else.

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<v Speaker 1>Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at

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<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast Pod. That's b E the number four. Then

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<v Speaker 1>Breakfast pod. You can also shoot me an email at

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<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast podcast at iHeartMedia dot com that Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much.

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<v Speaker 1>Should I look forward to staying in touch