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Speaker 1: There's a reason there's no one like me on earth

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Speaker 1: that does my kind of comedy. What it takes to

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Speaker 1: live that whole life and then to find the humor

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Speaker 1: out of it, and then to build something with it.

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Speaker 1: You building a comedy business to a stage where the

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Speaker 1: world even has any awareness that you exist is a

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Speaker 1: whole process that you have to learn how to create.

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Speaker 1: That is one of the bigger regrets of my life.

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Speaker 1: My only consolation is this that had I started sooner,

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Speaker 1: I would have been a voice like every other voice,

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Speaker 1: complaining about the same things, because I wouldn't have had

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Speaker 1: the perspective that I have today.

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Speaker 2: I can't believe I got to talk to today's guest.

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Speaker 2: To be honest, I don't think I've been this nervous

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Speaker 2: to interview a guest since Stacy Abrams, and that was

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Speaker 2: a couple of years ago, and I'll never forget leading

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Speaker 2: up to that interview, I had stress nightmares. But with Zarna,

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Speaker 2: this has been completely different. So Zarna has written this

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Speaker 2: incredible memoir and I'm not even gonna lie. I was

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Speaker 2: more of a fan of Zarna after I read this

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Speaker 2: memoir than I was before. I loved her comedy. I

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Speaker 2: think her comedy is very particular. It is smart, it

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Speaker 2: is witty, it's of course hilarious. As a mom myself,

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Speaker 2: I really appreciate a woman who is building a career

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Speaker 2: based on making fun of her kids, and I just

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Speaker 2: feel like that's my love language and the fact that

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Speaker 2: she's monetized it like that is the dream. But getting

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Speaker 2: to know her personal story, I mean, when you set

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Speaker 2: across from someone and you know their entire life story

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Speaker 2: because they have poured it out onto the page and

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Speaker 2: you get to see them and they're speaking to you

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Speaker 2: when so much was up against them from the moment

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Speaker 2: they were born. It is such a unique privilege, an

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Speaker 2: opportunity like Zarna exists the way that she exists, and

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Speaker 2: she put herself on this global stage in her forties, y'all,

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Speaker 2: her mid forties. Now she's in her fifth decade of life,

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Speaker 2: and her curve is soaring. She's developing a sitcom with

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Speaker 2: Mindy Kaling Kevin Hart. Like you know you're a big

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Speaker 2: deal when you got Mindy Kayling and Kevin Hart on

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Speaker 2: speed Dial. Okay, she has her own Amazon Prime special,

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Speaker 2: One in a Billion. She's got another one coming on

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Speaker 2: on Hulu. Zarnagarg Is that girl. All right, I embarrassed

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Speaker 2: the hell out of myself on the internet. After I

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Speaker 2: finished her memoir, I was listening to it, laughing my

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Speaker 2: ass off. When I was doing the dishes. My husband

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Speaker 2: would be like, what are you doing over there? What

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Speaker 2: are you listening to? And I'm like, I can't stop.

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Speaker 2: I didn't want to stop to explain to him what

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Speaker 2: I was listening to because it was that good and

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Speaker 2: I was so in the story with Zarna. So her

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Speaker 2: memoir tells her life story from growing up the daughter,

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Speaker 2: the oopsie, the oopsie daughter in her blended family in

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Speaker 2: Mumbai in India. She really was left to her own devices,

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Speaker 2: but in the meantime she flourished, like she turned into

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Speaker 2: the most extraordinary, resilient intelligence and hilarious, warm hearted, good

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Speaker 2: hearted human being. And you'll hear about her journey to America,

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Speaker 2: what brought her here, and how she's built her family here.

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Speaker 2: I'm just gonna stop talking now so you can listen

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Speaker 2: to Zarna and I and I just hope that you

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Speaker 2: check out her memoir. I hope that it touches you

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Speaker 2: the way that it touched me, and that you honestly

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Speaker 2: leave this conversation feeling inspired ba fam the way that

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Speaker 2: I was to not let age or life circumstance or

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Speaker 2: any vision of well I should have done this by now,

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Speaker 2: So it's too late for me. Throw that out the

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Speaker 2: damn window. Because Zarna gives each of us permission to

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Speaker 2: put ourselves out there and try something new, fail fast,

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Speaker 2: try hard, keep going, embrace the failure because one day

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Speaker 2: you will fly. And it's all down to Zarna and

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Speaker 2: the insight, the wisdom, the passion, the levity, the heart.

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Speaker 2: She brings to this conversation, to this book, to her work.

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Speaker 2: Enjoying my interview with Zarnagard, how do you feel New

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Speaker 2: York Times bestseller?

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Speaker 1: You know, I have a real resistance to calling myself

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Speaker 1: a writer or an author. I just am not able

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Speaker 1: to do it.

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Speaker 2: I heard.

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Speaker 1: I feel good that somebody's enjoying the book.

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Speaker 2: So what do you consider? I guess labels don't matter, but.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. In my head, I'm running a tech company.

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Speaker 1: In my head, I'm a software engineer.

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Speaker 2: You've talked about that. I mean that was like the

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Speaker 2: resistance your whole life. As we talk about your family

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Speaker 2: chastising you, calling you like, oh, who do you think

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Speaker 2: you are? An American woman and being even like hearing

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Speaker 2: from your English teacher that you were a great writer

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Speaker 2: and almost being ashamed of that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, oh frightened. It was beyond shape. I was like,

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Speaker 1: if my parents find out, I'm gonna be in so

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Speaker 1: much trouble.

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Speaker 2: Do you know I went to Burns and Noble and

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Speaker 2: got this today.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah.

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Speaker 2: I listened to the audiobook because I knew it was

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Speaker 2: gonna be good. I listened to the whole thing. And

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Speaker 2: that is how I caught myself crying in the day

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Speaker 2: care parking lot when I mean, I couldn't have like

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Speaker 2: planned it more perfectly or imperfectly. Is that I literally

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Speaker 2: was listening to the final chapter where you're thanking your

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Speaker 2: brother and the loop is being the circle is being completed.

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Speaker 2: You're bringing us back to that like sibling connection, and

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Speaker 2: I am just ugly crying, Oh.

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Speaker 1: My god, thank you. And that's the kind of comic

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Speaker 1: I am.

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Speaker 2: It's so but it's so it hurts so good. It's

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Speaker 2: the pay. It's like why you want. I mean, I girl,

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Speaker 2: you're a writer. I don't care what you say. That's

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Speaker 2: why I read books. I mean, that's why I love

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Speaker 2: stories so much. And I'm just so grateful, and I

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Speaker 2: was like, oh, I'll get a couple of copies. I'll

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Speaker 2: give it to a friend. But I don't think so,

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Speaker 2: because the book has pictures, the actual physical book. So

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Speaker 2: now I have this is like, you need the audio book,

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Speaker 2: you need the physical book. You need them both because

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Speaker 2: they each have a little something different.

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Speaker 1: We did. We tried to create two different and unique experiences,

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Speaker 1: so the book had photos all along and just trying

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Speaker 1: to give god text to the story. Actually it wasn't

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Speaker 1: about like, look at me, I'm famous, because I don't

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Speaker 1: even think I'm famous. But I felt like if I'm

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Speaker 1: telling the story and if I have some sort of

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Speaker 1: photo to give context to it, it would be more

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Speaker 1: fun for the for the reader. But then when we

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Speaker 1: did the audio, I realized that the book people got

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Speaker 1: something that the audio people won't. So we decided to

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Speaker 1: do the family essays and that extra because it didn't

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Speaker 1: feel right and I want it. I wanted each person

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Speaker 1: to have their full experience of the Zara story.

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Speaker 2: I did. I enjoyed. I had to wait for the

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Speaker 2: family essays. It's a bit of a letdown. No offense

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Speaker 2: to your beautiful husband, your son, Fridge. I just wanted

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Speaker 2: to sit in my zarna love and so I did

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Speaker 2: eventually get to them. I thought it was wonderful. So

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Speaker 2: there's no getting around it. You are brilliant in your

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Speaker 2: First of all, you are law school educated. You're educated

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Speaker 2: out the wazoo, because of course you are an immigrant,

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Speaker 2: Like that's just coming.

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Speaker 1: That's what you know. You don't know anything else. So

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Speaker 1: you're like, go to school.

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Speaker 2: You've been raised, you know, an entrepreneurial family and used

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Speaker 2: to read what was at the Indian Times, the.

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Speaker 1: Times of India, the Times of India. I still do

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Speaker 1: every single But how old were.

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Speaker 2: You when you started? You were like five or something.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like the moment I opened

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Speaker 1: my eyes, I started reading books and newspaper. I'm much

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Speaker 1: more a current events girl. I'm not as much a

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Speaker 1: literature girl. Like I haven't read every great literary class.

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Speaker 1: I've read many of them, but that's not my obsession.

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Speaker 1: My obsession is more every day of what's happening in

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Speaker 1: the world. Who said, what, where's the war happening? Why

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Speaker 1: is it happening? That type of stuff.

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Speaker 2: It's like your feet are so grounded in reality and

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Speaker 2: have been from such a young age. And I think,

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Speaker 2: I mean, I just I wish, I honestly like as

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Speaker 2: much as I am happy to know you now, I've

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Speaker 2: never wanted to meet a five year old kid more

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Speaker 2: than like five year old Zarni and I actually have

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Speaker 2: a five year old. And I think part of the

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Speaker 2: reason why I was so emotionally just impacted by your

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Speaker 2: work is because I am in so many ways like

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Speaker 2: living a similar I mean, that's obviously so different in

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Speaker 2: a lot of ways, but raising young kids, but I

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Speaker 2: completely I resonate with, like the financial challenges of raising children,

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Speaker 2: and I'm not even trying to put my kids in

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Speaker 2: private school.

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Speaker 1: Don't do it a forty k year spoiler alert for

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Speaker 1: those who want to read the book. That whole chapter

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Speaker 1: I wrote for my fellow Tristate area moms because shed

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Speaker 1: moms to know the truth of what I went through,

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Speaker 1: what I felt, and how you actually didn't. I didn't

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Speaker 1: need to put myself through any of them. I just

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Speaker 1: did it to myself, yeah, you know, and I really

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Speaker 1: wrote it because that is something I deal with every day.

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Speaker 1: Every day. I have a mom talk to me about

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Speaker 1: how she's dying under the burden of this price tag,

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Speaker 1: and it's insane and every day I'm trying to help

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Speaker 1: somebody like navigate what's the better option around wherever she lives.

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Speaker 2: Well, listen, like you said, four, I know, since so

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Speaker 2: you put your kids through this, you know, private school

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Speaker 2: on the Upper East Side? Was it in Manhattan? You

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Speaker 2: have three children? But not all three of them went?

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Speaker 2: It was your first two, right?

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Speaker 1: All three?

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Speaker 2: Oh, all three went?

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Speaker 1: Okay? And I have to take all three out.

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Speaker 2: Damn it. And and I I love the scrappiness of

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Speaker 2: that story of you getting your kids into the New

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Speaker 2: York public school system because I know how challenging it is.

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Speaker 2: And I too was so confused because I'm from Georgia,

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Speaker 2: which which is similar to I mean, it's like every

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Speaker 2: other state, like where do you live? This is your school? Congratulations,

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Speaker 2: not New York, not in New York. And so once

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Speaker 2: you're in that system, how like how toxic it is

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Speaker 2: and how they just they know they have you by

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Speaker 2: the you know what's and that like mister potato head,

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Speaker 2: which is what you've you know, for legal reasons, I'm

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Speaker 2: sure call the what the director of admissions or whatever

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Speaker 2: thinks he's the king of everything of this this private school.

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Speaker 2: But forty k a year for kindergarten. I know it's

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Speaker 2: like double.

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Speaker 1: That now seventy yeah, Jesus, so I pay.

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Speaker 2: I don't even want to think. But daycare, you have

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Speaker 2: to understand. So did you ever pay for your kids.

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Speaker 1: Daycare were little? So that's too expensive, that's true. But

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Speaker 1: at least there's no other alternative to daycare. There's just

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Speaker 1: not there's no place to put a six month old

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Speaker 1: or ten month old. And I get it, and there

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Speaker 1: actually I know what they're doing, like there's a human

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Speaker 1: being taking care of two, three, four five babies at

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Speaker 1: a time. The private school thing, I just don't get,

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Speaker 1: Like algebra has not changed in one hundred years. Why

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Speaker 1: it has become so prohibitive. It's become a status symbol.

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Speaker 1: It's like buying a Gucci bag, Dacre. I've paid two

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Speaker 1: and it's very, very very expensive for sure, and luckily

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Speaker 1: it's a limited time and then you transition to school

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Speaker 1: and then that's where it needs to be. You don't

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Speaker 1: write that kind of check for anything else. You do

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Speaker 1: it for your kids.

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Speaker 2: You can't fathom you breaking out into the comedy scene.

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Speaker 2: You were forty something, forty forty four, forty four and

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Speaker 2: you doing it not just I mean, I know you

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Speaker 2: started a little bit before the pandemic, and then your

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Speaker 2: husband lost his job, and then it became less about

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Speaker 2: you exploring this new path and being like, oh, I

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Speaker 2: now I'm going to save the family with this career.

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Speaker 2: You felt called to do it, but the level of

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Speaker 2: courage to break out and try something different at that

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Speaker 2: stage in life when you talk about feeling as if

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Speaker 2: you were a stay at home mom for all those

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Speaker 2: year sixteen something years that you talk about, feeling like

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Speaker 2: the rest of the world had moved on, and how

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Speaker 2: you were kind of left behind, I mean, it resonated

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Speaker 2: so much. Do you still look back at those years

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Speaker 2: when you were a stay at home mom with all

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Speaker 2: this talent and all this untapped intelligence in your mind?

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Speaker 2: You look back and wonder what if I had started sooner?

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Speaker 2: Or are you all peace.

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Speaker 1: All the time? I have so many regrets, even though

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Speaker 1: you shouldn't have regrets and you shouldn't look back. And

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Speaker 1: everybody says that, and I say it to other people.

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Speaker 1: No one wins against age, so it's like a thing.

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Speaker 1: My only consolation is that I really wouldn't have the

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Speaker 1: stories that I have today. There's a reason there's no

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Speaker 1: one like me on earth that does my kind of comedy.

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Speaker 1: It's not just here, it's no one in India, there's

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Speaker 1: no one in all of Asia. Because what it takes

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Speaker 1: to live that whole life and then to find the

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Speaker 1: humor out of it and then to build something with it,

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Speaker 1: those are all individual, huge, humongous steps that you have

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Speaker 1: to take. If building a comedy business to a stage

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Speaker 1: where the world even has any awareness that you exist

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Speaker 1: is a whole process that you have to learn how

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Speaker 1: to create. So I have a lot of regrets, but

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Speaker 1: I really do work on not dwelling on them. It's

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Speaker 1: a constant battle though. That is one of the bigger

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Speaker 1: regrets of my life. My only consolation is this that

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Speaker 1: had I started sooner, I would have been a voice

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Speaker 1: like every other voice, complaining about the same things, because

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't have had the perspective that I have today

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Speaker 1: as the mother of these grown kids, having gone through

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Speaker 1: this whole cycle, and that that was the gift that

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Speaker 1: Destiny decided to give me, and I have to accept

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Speaker 1: it in grace and not be a brat about it.

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Speaker 2: Okay, ba fam, I don't want to, but we got

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Speaker 2: to take a break. We got to pay some bills.

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Speaker 2: Zarna would not be happy with me if she knew

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Speaker 2: that I wasn't going to monetize this episode, because she

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Speaker 2: is all about that money. Honey. I'll be right back

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Speaker 2: with more of my chat with the ZARNI you're making

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Speaker 2: me like want to own my momminess. I struggle with

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Speaker 2: this a little bit, so I and also so many

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Speaker 2: things I want to say, But I want to first

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Speaker 2: of all, I want to let you know that from

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Speaker 2: the other side, looking at your journey, I'm like, maybe

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Speaker 2: that's the way to do it. I should have married

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Speaker 2: a rich wall streeter. I should have like had the

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Speaker 2: kids and been the stay at home mom because I'm

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Speaker 2: a dummy. I feel like a dummy. I'm like trying

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Speaker 2: to do it all at the same times. Arna, I

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Speaker 2: am God.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, let's get into it.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, my husband's texted me, now what time?

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Speaker 2: I don't listen. My husband literally just texted me, what

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Speaker 2: time are you gonna pick the kids up? Don't know,

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Speaker 2: don't care. I'm talking to Arna. I don't know. But

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Speaker 2: it's so hard, it's so bad, and I don't have

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Speaker 2: a village. My mommy doesn't live here, you know.

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Speaker 1: Thank God, I have one village who came up with that.

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Speaker 1: I was always looking, I was where is the village?

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Speaker 2: Well, everywhere but America. That's like you know, you've you've

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Speaker 2: talked about wanting to have I listened to your Your

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Speaker 2: Family podcast, which is so cute. What a great memory

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Speaker 2: for your kids. Eventually, one day they'll probably well hopefully.

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Speaker 1: They not don't get canceled out of the job market, but.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well they'll probably be business entrepreneurs anymore. Uh. But

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Speaker 2: like you talk about wanting to wage war on American motherhood, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: can we wage that work? Do you need recruits?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I mean, don't you think it's it's insane that

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Speaker 1: this way to fulfill all the obligations to everybody's satisfaction.

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Speaker 1: I'm constantly even today letting some teachers down in my kids'

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Speaker 1: school because I didn't show up for this that or

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Speaker 1: the other thing, or you know, forgetting something work wise

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Speaker 1: because something at my kids school took over and like

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Speaker 1: completely consume me. There's no way. And I have so

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Speaker 1: much empathy for where you are, Mandy. I've been there,

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Speaker 1: and it's it just feels like it's it's going to

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Speaker 1: drown you. It feels like it's gonna drown you. And

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Speaker 1: the one big gift of my career right now that

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Speaker 1: has been unexpected because I didn't see it until somebody

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Speaker 1: mentioned it to me, is that a lot of young

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Speaker 1: moms like yourself with young kids are actually taking up

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Speaker 1: and saying, you know what, maybe we should take a

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Speaker 1: break or go slow these years because I can come

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Speaker 1: back and have a real career. And this is something

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Speaker 1: they are learning from me that it is possible. It's

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Speaker 1: not easy. Nothing in life is easy, but it is

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Speaker 1: possible to be that mom when you need to be

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Speaker 1: that mom if you can afford to be that mom,

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Speaker 1: or whatever version of it you can afford to be.

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Speaker 1: And then say that once these kids are out of

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Speaker 1: this certain stage, I'm gonna go all in because it's very,

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Speaker 1: very hard. But it's a hard thing. It was very

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Speaker 1: hard for me, it still is. I travel. The only

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Speaker 1: way to make a living really as a comic is

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Speaker 1: to be on the road. So it's a concept. I

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Speaker 1: still have a thirteen year old son at home, which everywhere,

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Speaker 1: no matter what time zone I'm in, I'm like, did

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Speaker 1: you eat? Did you feel this paper? Your teacher when

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Speaker 1: they called they don't know where I am I'll get

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Speaker 1: a call at two am in Hawaii because I'm there

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Speaker 1: for a work I'm not there to hang out, and

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Speaker 1: my phone will ring. And you know when your kids

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Speaker 1: school calls, you just jump up.

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Speaker 2: Yes, it's stressful, and you don't know what time it is.

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Speaker 2: You're trying to think backwards, like wait, is this is

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Speaker 2: he in school? Is this thing?

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Speaker 1: Like immediately i'mause, okay, okay, are you okay? Did everything

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Speaker 1: you know? And it's like that's all our lives. So

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Speaker 1: you the thing you have to do is give yourself grace.

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Speaker 1: And also, no one else will if you don't give

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Speaker 1: yourself grace and take care of yourself. However that self

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Speaker 1: care is no one will do it for you. No

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Speaker 1: one in this country is going to ask the mother,

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Speaker 1: what do you need? That is gone. Even the politicians say,

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Speaker 1: oh lie, you know that, Oh we're gonna do this

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Speaker 1: for the moms. They're doing nothing.

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Speaker 2: You and I are in the same page when I

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Speaker 2: heard you say, no one gets a shot moms, No

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Speaker 2: one gets a shop moms or kids in this country,

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Speaker 2: like full stop.

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Speaker 1: Unfortunately women neither. So it's like a triple web.

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Speaker 2: And you're and you know, you're like it's the biggest

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Speaker 2: let down. But it's also there's this part in the book.

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Speaker 2: You have all these great quotes. I love that you

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Speaker 2: quote yourself too. You're like, yes, this is my wisdom.

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Speaker 2: It's pain. You say, pain is my destiny and my

358
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Speaker 2: company and my affinity. Embracing pain and not wasting time

359
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Speaker 2: wondering why me will put you on the fast track

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Speaker 2: to success. And I think, as a mom, I've stopped

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Speaker 2: expecting anyone else to make it easier, and.

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Speaker 1: You may as well, because it's not going to happen.

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Speaker 1: In my experience, it's not going to happen.

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Speaker 2: Now, Well, talk to me about you're raising your kids

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Speaker 2: on the Upper East Side of Manhattan and you are

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Speaker 2: putting them in these fancy schools and all of that.

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Speaker 2: How did you connect with the other moms? Like were

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Speaker 2: there other moms like you so.

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Speaker 1: In the fancy, expensive schools. I knew I was a

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Speaker 1: misfit on day one, Like I just knew that this,

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Speaker 1: Like I really thought, Oh, for my kid's future, this

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Speaker 1: is what I have to do. I don't relate to

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Speaker 1: any of these people, but this is where good education is.

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Speaker 1: So we're going to do this. And as time wre on,

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Speaker 1: what I learned is that what they consider education and

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Speaker 1: what I consider education but just two different things. To me,

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00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:03,360
Speaker 1: that felt like a country club and everything was the

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00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:06,600
Speaker 1: axis was revolving around, like we need to have these

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Speaker 1: many days off, extra days off because we need to

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Speaker 1: be able to travel to all these exotic locations, Like

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Speaker 1: that would never factor in the life that I live.

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Speaker 1: The life that I live, I work every single day,

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Speaker 1: even now every holiday, every every day I'm working. It

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Speaker 1: never occurs to me that I should take extra time

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Speaker 1: off to fly to the other side of earth. Like

386
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Speaker 1: if I really really want to take a vacation, I

387
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Speaker 1: fly to Florida three hours. Like my math is already

388
00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:34,800
Speaker 1: doing all the calculation and how much time this is

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Speaker 1: gonna take. So what I learned very early is that

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Speaker 1: this type of schooling is not only not giving the

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Speaker 1: education that I value, which is very basic, hardcore math,

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Speaker 1: science reading, Like I don't need the fluff. I don't

393
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Speaker 1: want the class in Japanese that two kids are gonna

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Speaker 1: take and the school is very proud to offer. I

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Speaker 1: just want you to teach my kids the basics. And

396
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Speaker 1: so what I found is that they don't actually care

397
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Speaker 1: about the basics. They spend a lot of money on

398
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Speaker 1: all these exotic things and additions that I don't care about.

399
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Speaker 1: And mostly I felt like the one thing that made

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Speaker 1: New York New York I was losing in private school,

401
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:22,000
Speaker 1: I was losing the entire grittiness of it. The whole

402
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:25,600
Speaker 1: school is constantly working to remove every weed off the

403
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Speaker 1: road for the kids, and to me, the education is

404
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:32,679
Speaker 1: in the weeds. The education is in the everyday, daily

405
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:36,120
Speaker 1: frustrations of how do you do thick For example, the

406
00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:39,359
Speaker 1: experience that you just shared right now, where you don't

407
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,360
Speaker 1: have a village, you're running to your mother in law

408
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:44,320
Speaker 1: dropping a kid. Then the school is closed. As painful

409
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Speaker 1: as it is in the moment, and I know it's

410
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:49,680
Speaker 1: very painful, I've lived it. Believe me, when you come

411
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,240
Speaker 1: out from the other side of it, having lived through

412
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:54,800
Speaker 1: this is going to make you a better not only

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Speaker 1: a better human being, because who cares about that, it's

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Speaker 1: going to make you a better business person.

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Speaker 2: Going to say, we'll make me some money. By the way,

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Speaker 2: I were green for you.

417
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Speaker 1: I love it. I was like, I've been so admiring im.

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Speaker 1: She looks good.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, for you, I will put on a lip.

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Speaker 1: I feel so honored.

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Speaker 2: I've already been to Barnes and Noble. This morning, I

422
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,360
Speaker 2: put on a red lip. I was like skipping through

423
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Speaker 2: lambs buying.

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00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:20,159
Speaker 1: The book at Barnes and Noble. I was so frustrated

425
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Speaker 1: because the week we hit the New York Times Bestseller list,

426
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,240
Speaker 1: they put all the other books out on the best

427
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Speaker 1: seller table and not ours.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to make you upset because I fixed it,

429
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Speaker 2: But do you know where I found your book? I

430
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,640
Speaker 2: looked at all you know, they had that big display,

431
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Speaker 2: and I live in a really diverse area. I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 2: you know, I expect to see a diverse selection, and

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Speaker 2: they have one. But I wasn't seeing your book anywhere.

434
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:43,680
Speaker 2: I'm like, I can't be missing this. This is a

435
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,320
Speaker 2: This cover is extraordinary. And the kind woman at the

436
00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:48,880
Speaker 2: front desk, she was or at the cashier, she was like, oh, yeah,

437
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,000
Speaker 2: it's back. There's like a pillar in the humor section.

438
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:54,040
Speaker 2: While the humor section is like the skinniest column on

439
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:56,960
Speaker 2: the back of a thing, it wasn't facing out. I

440
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,960
Speaker 2: was like, this is a New York Times bestseller. So

441
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,640
Speaker 2: I took the copies that were there and I move

442
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:02,160
Speaker 2: them to the new and Noteworthy table.

443
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:07,720
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you're so sweet. But this is this

444
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,320
Speaker 1: is a thing. The system is not designed to help us.

445
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:13,080
Speaker 1: And I hit the metric just like every other book,

446
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,399
Speaker 1: because in the past they would be like, well, you know,

447
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,399
Speaker 1: no one's buying it, but we're out selling almost every book.

448
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:20,520
Speaker 1: Like if you look on Amazon, it's a best seller.

449
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:23,679
Speaker 1: Now three four weeks later, we're hitting every metric. But

450
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 1: the system is not designed to help us. Like they

451
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:29,640
Speaker 1: get a list from their you know, superiors or whoever,

452
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,800
Speaker 1: and the list is usually names that they recognize. They

453
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,280
Speaker 1: don't recognize the names Arena, so they're like, oh, just

454
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,800
Speaker 1: stick her in the back somewhere. And this is something

455
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,040
Speaker 1: also I deal with all the time, and I just

456
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:42,399
Speaker 1: choose to see the humor in it because there is

457
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:45,040
Speaker 1: no point yelling and screaming about all this. There's just

458
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:48,239
Speaker 1: no point. It's not going to resolve the issue. I

459
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,280
Speaker 1: choose to come with love, even though it does infuriate me.

460
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:54,600
Speaker 1: It does infuriate me that like, why aren't you just

461
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:57,639
Speaker 1: giving me equal treatment? I'm not asking for anything better.

462
00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:01,679
Speaker 2: But let's cover. Yeah, how do you how do you

463
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:04,399
Speaker 2: make a cover like that? Did I just have someone

464
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:05,520
Speaker 2: in a green hoodie?

465
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,840
Speaker 1: I was a big guy and a cat stainted green,

466
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:11,760
Speaker 1: and he had to like lift me so we could

467
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:15,879
Speaker 1: get I was so scary. I was, guy's gonna break

468
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 1: his back? What are we doing? And the photographer was like,

469
00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 1: just we're gonna get it. We're gonna get it. And

470
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:23,760
Speaker 1: then I had to like kick my leg up in

471
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,800
Speaker 1: the air. And I don't do this stuff, you know.

472
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,080
Speaker 1: I just stand like a goofball and smile with my

473
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:31,640
Speaker 1: mouth open, my teeth showing. So I I but he

474
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:35,240
Speaker 1: was the photographer whose vision it was. C. J. Burton,

475
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:38,040
Speaker 1: this digital photographer in la is such a nice guy.

476
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:41,359
Speaker 1: He was like, you, I was very intent on having

477
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:44,000
Speaker 1: a fun cover. What I didn't want is like, you know,

478
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 1: a lot of biographies and memoirs will have the close

479
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:50,680
Speaker 1: up of the author's face and it's very deep in thought,

480
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:54,200
Speaker 1: black and white. It's like, look at me, I'm so serious,

481
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,119
Speaker 1: and I wanted to have fun with it. I was like,

482
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 1: I'm not so serious. If you meet me in real life,

483
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:01,679
Speaker 1: I will make a joke about anything. So he came up.

484
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:03,800
Speaker 1: We came up with a few concepts, but this one

485
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:06,640
Speaker 1: was what felt like the most ambitious version. But when

486
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:08,480
Speaker 1: I saw the guy who had to lift me. Is

487
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,280
Speaker 1: a big guy, and he was poor guy. His whole forearm,

488
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 1: everything was painted guilty and the poor guy was stuck

489
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:16,800
Speaker 1: the whole day in not being able to use his

490
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:18,879
Speaker 1: arms because they didn't want to mess up the painting.

491
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:23,080
Speaker 1: Oh okay, so I've had so much empathy. I was like,

492
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:25,320
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm so sorry. He's like, no, no,

493
00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:28,120
Speaker 1: I'm done. I haven't had water since exam.

494
00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 2: We got to hold up the national treasure that is arnegarg.

495
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,960
Speaker 2: I bet he was stoked. Plus you're so petite.

496
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:38,679
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I am not so purtite. It was

497
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,640
Speaker 1: not easy. I'm really heavy and I felt it that day.

498
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:43,679
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I was just of

499
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,080
Speaker 1: all the times I wish I had lost weight, today

500
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 1: is the most important day, man.

501
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:51,600
Speaker 2: So you know a mutual friend of ours is for

502
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:52,639
Speaker 2: a news to Robbie.

503
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,920
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I love her, so.

504
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:56,560
Speaker 2: I've you know, we're in the same kind of like

505
00:23:56,720 --> 00:24:01,679
Speaker 2: financial podcasting space and yeah, yeah, so she's wonderful. She

506
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,640
Speaker 2: hosted an event for you in Jersey. Was it during

507
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:06,840
Speaker 2: your book launch? And I was listening to your interview

508
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:08,639
Speaker 2: with her and I was like, come on, zarn, I

509
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,399
Speaker 2: don't tell me that you don't love your body. I'm like,

510
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:13,520
Speaker 2: that's the that's what I thought was supposed to happen

511
00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 2: when you're in your like forties, fifties, sixties, like you

512
00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:16,800
Speaker 2: just love it.

513
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:20,199
Speaker 1: No, because the reality of being overweight hits you, hits you.

514
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,639
Speaker 1: It's not the vanity. Honestly, it's not the vanity. I

515
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:24,640
Speaker 1: don't really care. I'm not out there looking for a guy.

516
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:30,200
Speaker 1: It's not that. It's the real statistics of what being

517
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:33,679
Speaker 1: overweight means in terms of health, you know, and you

518
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 1: want to live like now, I want to live to

519
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:36,960
Speaker 1: torture my daughter in law.

520
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 2: Right, and they don't get they don't get married so young. No, No,

521
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,320
Speaker 2: she got to live really long.

522
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:45,639
Speaker 1: You got it. Yeah, So it's that. But you know,

523
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:48,639
Speaker 1: ever since I've found how to dress for my work,

524
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:51,600
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm more at peace. For a long time,

525
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 1: I was just not at peace with my body. I

526
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,400
Speaker 1: don't get into that with the book, but because it's

527
00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:59,120
Speaker 1: not really part of the story in that way. But

528
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:02,760
Speaker 1: to be on and to be making jokes for as

529
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 1: long as I do hour hour and a half straight

530
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:08,480
Speaker 1: in front of huge audiences. I just did five thousand

531
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:11,439
Speaker 1: people recently in Vegas, to be able to do that.

532
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:15,240
Speaker 1: You're very comfortable in your skin and in your body

533
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,359
Speaker 1: and in how the world is looking at you. And

534
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:20,440
Speaker 1: until I learned to dress for myself and figure out

535
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:24,240
Speaker 1: an outfit uniform that works for me, I just wasn't there.

536
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 1: It was very hard for me to make my peace

537
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:29,240
Speaker 1: with Oh my god, people are gonna see me. They'll

538
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:31,600
Speaker 1: take photographs from this side and this side, and like,

539
00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:33,480
Speaker 1: what am I going to look like? I figured out

540
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:37,560
Speaker 1: an outfit that felt simple but representative of me, and

541
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,160
Speaker 1: now I don't really care take a photo from any anger.

542
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,359
Speaker 1: I don't care because I feel like I'm covered and

543
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 1: I look decent and elegant, and I'm good with that.

544
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 2: You were trying to find your look, and I did

545
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,879
Speaker 2: think that that was highly relevant, just for anyone who's

546
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:53,840
Speaker 2: not even about being on a stage, but just like

547
00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:57,760
Speaker 2: going through life and maybe your body is, you know,

548
00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:00,159
Speaker 2: not the body that it was twenty years ago, pre

549
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,800
Speaker 2: kids or whatever, and just I thought it was a

550
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:05,240
Speaker 2: great testament to the power of making clothes for the

551
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,720
Speaker 2: body you have now, and like getting a look that

552
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:10,720
Speaker 2: makes you feel comfortable and a thousand percent there is

553
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:14,040
Speaker 2: something that happens when you're wearing something that just makes

554
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:17,520
Speaker 2: you feel good. Yeah, that gives you the confidence to

555
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:18,640
Speaker 2: do a scary thing.

556
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:21,639
Speaker 1: One hundred and ten percent. And I'm telling you that

557
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:25,840
Speaker 1: I appreciate that I had the good sense to stick

558
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 1: with it because people in India, especially fashionable people, make

559
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 1: fun of me all the time. Even right now. They think, Oh,

560
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 1: you wear the same thing in four different colors. What

561
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 1: is that belt? Because the belt is not an Indian thing.

562
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:41,960
Speaker 1: We in Indian clothes usually are not belted the way

563
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:45,240
Speaker 1: I built them. Here, I added that, and I get

564
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:47,199
Speaker 1: my tailor to make the belt for me. It was

565
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:49,560
Speaker 1: a process to learn how to do it, and you know,

566
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 1: but I wanted it because I felt like in America

567
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 1: it needed to look a certain way. Whatever it is.

568
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,680
Speaker 1: It was my decision and my process. But people make

569
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:01,760
Speaker 1: fun of me constantly. They are fashion blogs that feel

570
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,200
Speaker 1: free to pick on me, and you know, it's like, oh,

571
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 1: here comes the American Indian because they think that I've

572
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:10,639
Speaker 1: created this crazy outfit. But I don't care because I

573
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:13,320
Speaker 1: feel good in it and I feel like my audience

574
00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:16,680
Speaker 1: sees me for what I'm trying to show them that

575
00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:19,959
Speaker 1: I am Indian, that I am a certain type of

576
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,640
Speaker 1: you know, person, I believe in dressing modestly. I don't

577
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:25,959
Speaker 1: need to show any more than you can see. So

578
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:29,159
Speaker 1: it was a process, and really I started doing it

579
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 1: more and more because it affects the business. It's again

580
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:35,920
Speaker 1: not a vanity thing. The better you look, the more

581
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:39,920
Speaker 1: confident you are, the more confident you feel, the more

582
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:44,280
Speaker 1: money you will make. It translates into real dollars and cents.

583
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:48,600
Speaker 1: And that's actually pretty undeniable at this point because there's

584
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:53,080
Speaker 1: even data out there to support it. But I never

585
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 1: till forty four, never wore a lick of makeup. Never.

586
00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:59,200
Speaker 1: I used to go to weddings with like a little

587
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,440
Speaker 1: touch of vasiline on my lips. That's it. I can

588
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:03,359
Speaker 1: show you wedding photos Bathleene.

589
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, well you can't have ashy lips at least you

590
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 2: put that on.

591
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's that simple. Because as a consumer of

592
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,639
Speaker 1: pop culture, I used to always think, how crazy is

593
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:16,879
Speaker 1: this woman? Or why is this man getting another like whatever, liposuction?

594
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:19,720
Speaker 1: What why would you do that? I would never And

595
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,080
Speaker 1: now I know why they're doing it. They're doing it

596
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:23,160
Speaker 1: for their business.

597
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:26,199
Speaker 2: Well can we talk about business? Because you are a

598
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 2: business guru like I don't almost. I'm a little afraid

599
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:31,960
Speaker 2: that a bunch of people are going to try to have,

600
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:34,680
Speaker 2: like you know, these creative careers in their mid forty

601
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:37,920
Speaker 2: late forties, inspired by your story, if they don't understand

602
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:41,320
Speaker 2: that you didn't just try it out like you went

603
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:45,280
Speaker 2: full tilt, like I am going to be the Zuckerberger

604
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:48,640
Speaker 2: of comedians, I'm going to be the Serena Williams of comedy.

605
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 2: And really think of it from a business standpoint, and

606
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 2: you made some choices. You chose to keep your comedy clean,

607
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,240
Speaker 2: which I'm not sure that just means no curse.

608
00:28:58,040 --> 00:28:59,600
Speaker 1: Words basically pretty much.

609
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I heard a joke

610
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 2: where you called your your mother in law the sea word.

611
00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 1: So there's a few handful of jokes where I have

612
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,200
Speaker 1: cursed words that I use in the clubs all the

613
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 1: time and depending on the book. But I have replacements

614
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,080
Speaker 1: for all those words for my corporate shows. So I

615
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:19,240
Speaker 1: do shows that have the same jokes but with the replacement,

616
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:22,720
Speaker 1: which is also as funny because the money is in

617
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,240
Speaker 1: clean comedy. If you see all the big comics and

618
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,800
Speaker 1: how they translate to bigger, big gigs, it's all clean

619
00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:32,120
Speaker 1: comedy unless you're that niche comic one in a billion

620
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:35,880
Speaker 1: who becomes known for their dirty humor. And I wouldn't

621
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 1: even know what to say, honestly, Like I'm not sex

622
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 1: stuff like that, Like I have nothing to say in

623
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 1: that space. What you mean?

624
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:45,920
Speaker 2: I mean, I know what jokes were you were, you

625
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:49,440
Speaker 2: were Dragon shell Ub around, you know, making out in

626
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:52,120
Speaker 2: the in the cab when you first met him. If

627
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:54,480
Speaker 2: you guys, I don't want to. I can talk about

628
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 2: everything I want to keep about, you know, the fun

629
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:59,200
Speaker 2: money stuff, but the story of you and Shellubs like

630
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:03,440
Speaker 2: courtship and oh I loved it so much. It was

631
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 2: so cute. I can see how y'all fell in love

632
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:10,959
Speaker 2: through letters. You're both so funny and both so steeped

633
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 2: in reality that you're like calling each other out on

634
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:16,960
Speaker 2: you know, your bs and ah, what a sweet. Well. Actually,

635
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:18,840
Speaker 2: I am going to give shell up some shine because

636
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 2: there's this part in the book, multiple parts where just

637
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:23,880
Speaker 2: it's like that Grinch, the moment in the Grinch, you know,

638
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 2: the Grinch, the green guy, and his heart just grows

639
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:30,040
Speaker 2: take a yeah, and then his heart just grows like

640
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,400
Speaker 2: three times bigger. And there's moments in your book that

641
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 2: do that for me, and one of them is your

642
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:38,520
Speaker 2: beautiful husband of twenty five years. Yeah, when y'all are

643
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:40,520
Speaker 2: at a dinner with like some of his hoity toity

644
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,160
Speaker 2: Wall Street friends and their wives, and at this point,

645
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:45,480
Speaker 2: you are determined to figure out what this stage of

646
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:47,400
Speaker 2: your life's going to be. At your you're feeling like

647
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:49,880
Speaker 2: something is missing, so you're trying to start all these businesses,

648
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 2: like a toothbrush business, a chill a vegan chili business,

649
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 2: all these things, and they're kind of like they're kind

650
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:59,080
Speaker 2: of ribbing you about it in a way that's not

651
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 2: so kind, and your husban and like, don't worry. They're

652
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:04,040
Speaker 2: just afraid that when you actually find your thing, you're

653
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:07,240
Speaker 2: going to become unstoppable. And he just says it so

654
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,520
Speaker 2: nonchalantly and just continues eating his dinner.

655
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:11,560
Speaker 1: That's his special talent.

656
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:19,360
Speaker 2: Sweet, so romantic forget roses, like defend my greatness in

657
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:21,760
Speaker 2: front of all your friends and also make them feel

658
00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:22,640
Speaker 2: in the process.

659
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 1: For me, it's true, he is particularly adept at that

660
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 1: type of dialogue. And that's in real life who he is.

661
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 1: He's not one to make grand statements. He barely speaks.

662
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:37,480
Speaker 1: I mean, if he says five words in a day

663
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:41,040
Speaker 1: that's a lot. So he just engages when he feels

664
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,800
Speaker 1: like he absolutely must, and otherwise he's kind of like

665
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 1: he's a little flighty in his everyday life. A lot

666
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 1: of people would be like, he just saw right through me.

667
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:50,920
Speaker 1: I saw him on the street. He didn't say hello.

668
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:54,840
Speaker 1: But it's not him being disrespectful. He really lives in

669
00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 1: his own world of numbers and like he's thinking about

670
00:31:57,880 --> 00:31:59,960
Speaker 1: what trade he made and what he wants to make

671
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 1: and how is that math gonna work out? And like

672
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:05,920
Speaker 1: he's like a happy, flighty math guy.

673
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:09,520
Speaker 2: Intellect cerebral, Yeah, yeah, I mean I.

674
00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:11,479
Speaker 1: Don't even I find it hard to call him an

675
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:18,440
Speaker 1: intellect because he's not that smart. He does ridiculously stupid

676
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:23,280
Speaker 1: things everything. I remember when I was newly married to him,

677
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:25,400
Speaker 1: I was like, how are these people paying you? You

678
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:26,880
Speaker 1: can't figure anything out?

679
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 2: Well, there's number smart, I guess.

680
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, he is. He's like, but he doesn't wear

681
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 1: his intellect. You know. Some successful people like to talk

682
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 1: like their fonts of wisdom, Like they will release tweets

683
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:46,560
Speaker 1: like like God has spoken. There will be LinkedIn articles

684
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:48,880
Speaker 1: from them, like you know, the state of the affair

685
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:52,160
Speaker 1: that is not my husband at all, never was even

686
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,920
Speaker 1: in his most successful he was like, can I just

687
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 1: go to bed? Please don't invite me, Please, God, don't

688
00:32:57,880 --> 00:32:59,880
Speaker 1: invite me to all these events, Like I don't want

689
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:01,600
Speaker 1: to be there. I want to be home. I want

690
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 1: to be like taking a nap. So he was always

691
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:07,480
Speaker 1: that simple guy, and he still is, like he barely communicates,

692
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 1: and when he's he's definitely him. And I have a

693
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 1: friendship that is above everything else. So if he finds

694
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,720
Speaker 1: that people are making fun of me, which happens all

695
00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 1: the time, I mean it happens even now. But back

696
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:27,800
Speaker 1: during the transition phase before I found comedy, it was peak.

697
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:32,520
Speaker 1: I mean I was ripe for jokes for everybody because

698
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:35,800
Speaker 1: I also, in defense of all of them, I didn't

699
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:39,200
Speaker 1: just start businesses. I started businesses.

700
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:40,200
Speaker 2: I don't do anything.

701
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:43,960
Speaker 1: Here's my website, here's my card, here's you know, my

702
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:47,000
Speaker 1: entire vision. I didn't just start a business. I saw

703
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:51,240
Speaker 1: a billion dollar vision instantly. In every failed business, you know,

704
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:53,840
Speaker 1: some people would be like work in silence. No, No,

705
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:57,560
Speaker 1: that was not me. So people had a lot to

706
00:33:57,600 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 1: pick on. I gave them a lot to pick on.

707
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:03,840
Speaker 1: So my husband, when he would step in, would be

708
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:07,480
Speaker 1: like you know, they're just all nervous because none of

709
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:08,760
Speaker 1: them are even trying anything.

710
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:10,799
Speaker 2: M hmm. They don't know what to do with you.

711
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, they don't know, and they didn't come from the

712
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:17,360
Speaker 1: world where all you did. I didn't think of myself

713
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 1: as somebody whose life's goal was to support her husband.

714
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:24,560
Speaker 1: It was a part of my job as a wife,

715
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:26,960
Speaker 1: a mother, and a homemaker, but I didn't see it

716
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,520
Speaker 1: as the be all and end all of my identity.

717
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 1: Like I never was that woman who wanted to go

718
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:34,560
Speaker 1: places and be like I am missus so and so,

719
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:37,319
Speaker 1: no matter who the husband was, no matter if he

720
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:40,560
Speaker 1: was a billionaire or whatever. Like I was always inside

721
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:43,640
Speaker 1: my body fighting for my own like what is my

722
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:47,120
Speaker 1: journey in this life? Like? What is my thing? And

723
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:48,239
Speaker 1: how am I gonna find it?

724
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:51,440
Speaker 2: I mean, can we just go back in time a

725
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:54,040
Speaker 2: little bit, because as you're talking about that sort of

726
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:57,040
Speaker 2: not seeing yourself as fulfilling the life goal for your

727
00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:59,400
Speaker 2: husband and finding your own purpose, I mean that was

728
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:02,040
Speaker 2: so innate in you from a young age. I mean

729
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:05,200
Speaker 2: you were a teenager when your husband you write about

730
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 2: this in the book, not your husband, sorry, your your father.

731
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:10,800
Speaker 2: After your mother passed away, was pretty much ready to

732
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:13,040
Speaker 2: throw you away and say I'm going to marry you off.

733
00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:15,880
Speaker 2: You're a teenager. You're thirteen fourteen, yeah at this age,

734
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:22,279
Speaker 2: which is not uncommon right in India even today, And you,

735
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:26,200
Speaker 2: as a teenager, said I would rather live on the streets,

736
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:30,320
Speaker 2: bouncing from home to home, friends homes, friends of friends' homes,

737
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:33,719
Speaker 2: and to sign up for security, to sign up for

738
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:38,200
Speaker 2: this arranged marriage. And I mean, oh, I just as

739
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:40,360
Speaker 2: a mom, I'm just like protect the babies. And you

740
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:42,680
Speaker 2: were just a baby. But you did that. That's so

741
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:45,319
Speaker 2: I don't know what to even say about that, just.

742
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:47,960
Speaker 1: To be completely fair and honest, like I didn't know

743
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 1: I was signing up for that. I did when you

744
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 1: were a teenager, and you were like, are defying your parents?

745
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:54,560
Speaker 1: And you're like, all right, if you don't want me

746
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:57,120
Speaker 1: to live your live with my friends. In your innocence,

747
00:35:57,120 --> 00:36:00,960
Speaker 1: you really believe that's an option, you know what I mean? Like,

748
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:04,200
Speaker 1: because you've done sleepovers that went for a weekend and

749
00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 1: no one sent you home, So you've traveled. Maybe I

750
00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:10,719
Speaker 1: at that point had traveled with my friend's families to

751
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 1: like nearby vacation spots. I was like, yeah, well, you

752
00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:17,919
Speaker 1: know what, you don't want me here? So nice, they

753
00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:19,840
Speaker 1: feed me, they let me do all these things you

754
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 1: don't let me do, Like I'll just go there. When

755
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:25,040
Speaker 1: I walked out of my house, I really didn't think

756
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:28,399
Speaker 1: it would become what it became. And I really thought

757
00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:31,560
Speaker 1: that my dad was consumed by grief and that in

758
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 1: a matter of a day or two or three he

759
00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 1: will come around and then we will find a new

760
00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:39,880
Speaker 1: happy medium. He was not playing, and I learned that

761
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:43,920
Speaker 1: the hard way that and that is true of many, many, many,

762
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:47,239
Speaker 1: many men of color. I think they like stake their

763
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:51,440
Speaker 1: pride and dignity on everything, especially back home, and and

764
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,800
Speaker 1: my dad was not having it. And also like women

765
00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 1: were throwing themselves on him, left, right and center. So

766
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 1: he had so much tempt. I know that now in hindsight,

767
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:06,440
Speaker 1: Like he had young women, like women twenty years younger

768
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:10,680
Speaker 1: than him, being like, do you need anything? Do you

769
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:12,200
Speaker 1: need it? It was a lot of like.

770
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:14,560
Speaker 2: What can we do to help you with the Indian

771
00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:16,520
Speaker 2: version of making a cast role and bringing it.

772
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:22,160
Speaker 1: Over, making samosas, making you know, like it was wild.

773
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:25,120
Speaker 1: And that's another thing that I've learned, you know, because

774
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:28,160
Speaker 1: I saw it firsthand in my life. That men will

775
00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:31,520
Speaker 1: go on. I've seen it enough to know that their

776
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,680
Speaker 1: lives will go on. It's the women. I read a

777
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 1: statistic somewhere a long time ago, and I don't even

778
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:38,680
Speaker 1: know where I read it because and if I'm wrong,

779
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:41,719
Speaker 1: somebody can feel free to correct me. But I read

780
00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:44,480
Speaker 1: a statistic somewhere that said that the face of poverty

781
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:51,520
Speaker 1: in America is motherhood. That women who are single moms,

782
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:56,200
Speaker 1: who are moms in general, become a much more prone

783
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:59,640
Speaker 1: to living in poverty than any other demographic. That's the

784
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:02,919
Speaker 1: step statistic that scared me. That is another reason why

785
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 1: I was like, I've got to figure something out, something anything.

786
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:09,560
Speaker 1: I was like, I will become the world's best dental hygienis.

787
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:12,399
Speaker 1: If somebody good gives me a job, I will take

788
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:14,759
Speaker 1: such good care of them if they can like give

789
00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:19,279
Speaker 1: me some financial security. This was during the days when

790
00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:22,520
Speaker 1: nothing entrepreneurial was working. I was like, what else can

791
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:25,359
Speaker 1: I do? Like, can I become a receptionist somewhere where

792
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:28,560
Speaker 1: they will like pay me and you know all these things.

793
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:32,239
Speaker 1: So but knowing that that the outcome for women and

794
00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:35,400
Speaker 1: I have three kids, like you know, they're gonna need stuff.

795
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:38,799
Speaker 1: My daughter's graduate in college. She still needs stuff. It

796
00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:40,319
Speaker 1: doesn't end, you know.

797
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:44,120
Speaker 2: And also in New York, the money will dry up.

798
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 1: Oh my god. When my husband lost his job, he

799
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:51,400
Speaker 1: had been a cio for ten years, we had savings.

800
00:38:51,719 --> 00:38:53,719
Speaker 1: People will ask me, did you not have savings. We

801
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 1: had savings. We thought we were set, and it went

802
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:03,640
Speaker 1: like a day. It felt like with the decision, it

803
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 1: felt like we found out on Monday that he doesn't

804
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 1: have a job, and two Mondays from then it was

805
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:11,880
Speaker 1: all gone. It felt like that, like my god, we

806
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:14,239
Speaker 1: had it. Oh my god. And then when things are

807
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:16,560
Speaker 1: not gonna work, nothing works, Like we couldn't sell the

808
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:19,600
Speaker 1: apartment because the market crashed. Every turn that we tried

809
00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:24,120
Speaker 1: to consider was like, this can't work. That can't work,

810
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:26,719
Speaker 1: that can't work, this won't work. So you really have

811
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:29,319
Speaker 1: to prepare. That's another reason why I work as much

812
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:31,279
Speaker 1: as I do now. I feel like I have to

813
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 1: catch up for all the years that I couldn't do

814
00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:37,120
Speaker 1: the things that I didn't work for whatever reason. And

815
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:40,319
Speaker 1: I don't have time to waste, you know. And I

816
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:44,279
Speaker 1: advise a lot of women on thinking big. Once you're

817
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 1: playing the game, you got to think big because women

818
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:51,239
Speaker 1: are trained to think savings. We think, oh, if I

819
00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:54,319
Speaker 1: save money, you know, if I don't spend it. I

820
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:56,799
Speaker 1: don't think there's any glory in saving. You cannot save

821
00:39:56,840 --> 00:39:59,400
Speaker 1: yourself out of financial mess.

822
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 2: You have to think, yes, Sarna, you have to. You're

823
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:05,879
Speaker 2: a medical financial genius. What are you talking about? Yes?

824
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:08,960
Speaker 1: Continue, At least I'm closer to math than I was

825
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:09,520
Speaker 1: as a writer.

826
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:12,479
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, drop the gem. People need to hear the gem.

827
00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:16,520
Speaker 1: Tell them. Tell us then what I'm saying. We are told, oh,

828
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:19,160
Speaker 1: don't buy the coffee, don't get the manicure, Like that

829
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 1: is not going to save you in the end. If

830
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:24,120
Speaker 1: you never buy the coffee and you never have the manicure,

831
00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:27,120
Speaker 1: you're not going to be financially secure. It's it's nonsense.

832
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:29,160
Speaker 1: And some guy came up with it just because he's

833
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:32,040
Speaker 1: irritated that women are trying to be happy. You know.

834
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,520
Speaker 1: But if you think big from you, that's how you're

835
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:37,680
Speaker 1: going to build equity in a business. That's how you're

836
00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:41,759
Speaker 1: going to make enough money that will be like a sizable,

837
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 1: a meaningful amount that you can actually invest and build

838
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:47,640
Speaker 1: other things for yourself and for your family, even for

839
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:49,879
Speaker 1: my own kids, like my own daughter I teach her

840
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:52,400
Speaker 1: every day I go. You have to like, live the

841
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:54,799
Speaker 1: life you want. Live the life you want to do

842
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:58,440
Speaker 1: that yoga class every few days. Do the yoga class,

843
00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:00,279
Speaker 1: but figure out how you're going to earn them money.

844
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:05,320
Speaker 1: Contracting yourself and trying to live within this tiny bubble

845
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 1: that you think is all you can earn is not

846
00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:11,319
Speaker 1: the answer to your growth. Not for me anyway. I'm

847
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:13,600
Speaker 1: all about I spend a lot of money now, I

848
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:15,960
Speaker 1: spend a crazy amount of money, but it's all investment.

849
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:19,680
Speaker 1: To me, it's all investment because I buy back time.

850
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:22,239
Speaker 1: For example, I don't drive. I haven't driven a car

851
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:25,000
Speaker 1: in years because I sit in the back seat of

852
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:27,759
Speaker 1: a taxi or an uber and I work throughout. I

853
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:31,120
Speaker 1: don't waste a minute. You will never see me wasting

854
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:33,400
Speaker 1: time in the back seat of any car because to me,

855
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:37,440
Speaker 1: that's my office. It's like a mobile office. I like

856
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 1: to say work, don't work from home, work from uber

857
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:42,880
Speaker 1: because I go places I would not you know, I

858
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:45,719
Speaker 1: go places, I meet people. I'm constantly on the road.

859
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:48,560
Speaker 1: You know, if you're in or around the New York area,

860
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:51,880
Speaker 1: there's so many interesting people to meet on the daily.

861
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:55,239
Speaker 1: Don't restrict yourself to the geography of where you are,

862
00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:58,560
Speaker 1: because the whole point of living in this neighborhood is

863
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:01,880
Speaker 1: in this area as you meet everybody who's here to

864
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 1: do all the things that they're here to do. This

865
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 1: is the world capital of ambition, you know.

866
00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 2: You know, I think that's been the hardest thing for me,

867
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:12,160
Speaker 2: if I'm really honest, is when my husband grew up

868
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:14,880
Speaker 2: in the city of New York. I'm from the suburbs.

869
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:16,720
Speaker 2: I came here for the city life. I'm a writer.

870
00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:19,640
Speaker 2: I don't have anything. I was trained as a journalist,

871
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:21,759
Speaker 2: like writing is what I do. And when we move

872
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:24,239
Speaker 2: to the suburbs because you really wanted to. This was

873
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:26,839
Speaker 2: twenty eighteen. We had our kids, and now I own

874
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:29,920
Speaker 2: my own business. I'm like entrepreneur and I'm mom, and

875
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:31,680
Speaker 2: I don't get to go to the city unless I

876
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 2: make something happen. So I've been trying to just like

877
00:42:34,239 --> 00:42:36,799
Speaker 2: make plans. I just relate to you so much the

878
00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:39,759
Speaker 2: way that you shamelessly, maybe even you have a little shame,

879
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:43,399
Speaker 2: but you do it anyway. Pursue opportunities and networking. There's

880
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:45,239
Speaker 2: a story you tell in the book about and I

881
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:47,520
Speaker 2: also do career coachings on and You're gonna love this. Like,

882
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:49,560
Speaker 2: I really don't think I'm a career coach. I'm like,

883
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:51,839
Speaker 2: I'm like a get out there and talk to people coach,

884
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:56,440
Speaker 2: because too many people, especially women, are too afraid to

885
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 2: actually get out and physically put themselves in a room

886
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:03,000
Speaker 2: where they could potentially have something happen. You know, meet

887
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:06,600
Speaker 2: someone hears something in passing, and you tell the story

888
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 2: of where did you go to this Beverly Hills like

889
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:13,400
Speaker 2: networking event for diversity in Hollywood? Yeah, and you straight

890
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:16,719
Speaker 2: up stock this dude, what was he just happened? You

891
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:18,560
Speaker 2: just had emailed and you did the thing that I

892
00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:21,040
Speaker 2: always talk about, which is look up the list of attendees,

893
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 2: yes and email them before you go. And you did

894
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:26,440
Speaker 2: the thing that everyone that I work with a lot

895
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:28,040
Speaker 2: of them are afraid of, which is, well, what if

896
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:31,560
Speaker 2: they think it's awkward or too pushy and like, well,

897
00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:34,440
Speaker 2: and they won't.

898
00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:37,480
Speaker 1: Respond do it? Everybody's an adult, right, Yeah? But I

899
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:39,399
Speaker 1: just want to tell you I have been in your

900
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:41,719
Speaker 1: shoes of not being able to go anywhere for a

901
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:45,520
Speaker 1: long time, and now, thankfully in the digital space, there

902
00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:48,279
Speaker 1: are a lot of options. Like, for example, I'll give

903
00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:51,040
Speaker 1: you an example of how it worked out, and I

904
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:54,840
Speaker 1: really took a shot in the dark. The CEO of Heartbeat,

905
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:59,000
Speaker 1: Kevin Hart's company, which at the time I was so

906
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:01,919
Speaker 1: new as a comic, barely doing open Minds, but he

907
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:05,160
Speaker 1: was in a LinkedIn chat. I was just reading articles

908
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:07,920
Speaker 1: about the comedy business blah blah. And because I was

909
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:11,040
Speaker 1: reading about things in that space, LinkedIn feed was like

910
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:15,480
Speaker 1: sending me all these articles about comedy business, comedy and entertainment,

911
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:18,400
Speaker 1: comedy blah blah whatever, right, And one of the things

912
00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:21,280
Speaker 1: was like, Oh, the CEO of Heartbeat is like having

913
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:24,600
Speaker 1: on some sort of LinkedIn zoom or something like he

914
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:26,799
Speaker 1: was going to talk about the business of comedy and

915
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:29,680
Speaker 1: you could attend for free just watch what he was saying.

916
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:33,040
Speaker 1: And I remember thinking, oh, I should watch what are

917
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:36,360
Speaker 1: they talking about? But then in the LinkedIn in the

918
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:39,680
Speaker 1: zoom chat, there was an option to drop a question.

919
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:42,680
Speaker 1: So I dropped a question and I saw that his

920
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:46,120
Speaker 1: team was engaging with it, and I literally took that

921
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:49,200
Speaker 1: and I ran with it. I kept dropping questions. I

922
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:52,000
Speaker 1: kept dropping questions because I was like, Oh, somebody is

923
00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:55,319
Speaker 1: on the other side actually reading these, and I was like,

924
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:57,200
Speaker 1: I'm a mom, I'm a there's there's no one else

925
00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:59,360
Speaker 1: like me. I just kept it, kept at it, and

926
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:01,560
Speaker 1: then literally within a week I had a phone call

927
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:01,960
Speaker 1: with him.

928
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:04,080
Speaker 2: Is that how you got on the show?

929
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:08,319
Speaker 1: No? No, he had nothing to do so the week.

930
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:12,840
Speaker 1: Kevan's business is so big that the comedy is one side,

931
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:15,839
Speaker 1: the movie and TV is one side. It's like all

932
00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:18,200
Speaker 1: different things. I thought that that's how I got it. Actually,

933
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 1: the people who were casting the show found me performing

934
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:23,520
Speaker 1: in the subway and noticed me from a distance and

935
00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:25,520
Speaker 1: took my name down. Didn't say anything to me in

936
00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:27,800
Speaker 1: real life because I think they didn't want to engage

937
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:29,439
Speaker 1: with me and be like, just in case she doesn't

938
00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:31,799
Speaker 1: get picked. But that's how they found me, and I

939
00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:36,560
Speaker 1: know that now. But besides, I didn't even know this

940
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:39,000
Speaker 1: competition existed, so I didn't know what to even ask

941
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:41,600
Speaker 1: for when I was connecting with the CEO. But at

942
00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:44,120
Speaker 1: the time, I remember getting a fifteen minute zoom with

943
00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:47,960
Speaker 1: him because I kept dming his team digitally and saying, hey,

944
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:49,719
Speaker 1: I would love to talk to him. You know, there's

945
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:52,399
Speaker 1: no one else. I thought I was throwing anything, and

946
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:54,560
Speaker 1: they're like, all right, all right, all right, we'll see

947
00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:56,080
Speaker 1: what we can do. And I got a few minutes

948
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:58,719
Speaker 1: zoom with him, and I remember saying to him, I

949
00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:01,680
Speaker 1: don't know what to even look At the time, I

950
00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:04,760
Speaker 1: was like doing literally like had just one step above

951
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:07,319
Speaker 1: open mics. And all he said to me was he said, look,

952
00:46:07,360 --> 00:46:09,680
Speaker 1: I can't tell you what your journey needs to be

953
00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:11,640
Speaker 1: because I have no idea what you want to do

954
00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 1: and what you can do. But the world needs more

955
00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:16,640
Speaker 1: voices like yours. So all I can tell you is

956
00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:18,839
Speaker 1: that you have to keep fighting until you figure out

957
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:22,959
Speaker 1: your door. And even with that one statement from him

958
00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:26,120
Speaker 1: gave me so much encouragement, and knowing that I could

959
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:28,840
Speaker 1: be face to face with somebody like him through a

960
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:32,120
Speaker 1: LinkedIn platform, which is nothing like you know, we all

961
00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:36,040
Speaker 1: scroll and waste time on social media constantly. Now I'm

962
00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:39,200
Speaker 1: much more tooorical about it. I take shots all the time.

963
00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:43,440
Speaker 1: Most don't workout. Most famous people or powerful people are

964
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:45,879
Speaker 1: not going to respond, and that's okay. I don't take

965
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:49,000
Speaker 1: it personally. And that's another thing women have to learn.

966
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:51,440
Speaker 1: They'll be like, oh, I did this, and then no

967
00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:53,279
Speaker 1: one wrote back to me and they all hate me,

968
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:55,880
Speaker 1: and like, you got to stop saying all that. Everybody's

969
00:46:55,920 --> 00:46:59,520
Speaker 1: got their own going on. And that's okay, fail fast.

970
00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:01,719
Speaker 2: It's one of the things that you talk about and

971
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:04,160
Speaker 2: I love about you and what I try to also emulate,

972
00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:06,239
Speaker 2: even though it's a bit harder to do at least

973
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:09,040
Speaker 2: where I'm at right now, is like getting like failing

974
00:47:09,080 --> 00:47:11,319
Speaker 2: so quickly that you don't even like dwell on it.

975
00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:14,120
Speaker 2: You're just you're already on to the next attempt, you

976
00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:16,600
Speaker 2: know what I mean, like the next email, the next guest,

977
00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:19,640
Speaker 2: I mean booking this, you know, booking guests on this podcast.

978
00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:21,319
Speaker 2: I've been doing it for years and years, and still

979
00:47:21,360 --> 00:47:23,480
Speaker 2: I'm just like, sometimes I feel like I need to

980
00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:26,080
Speaker 2: low key stock to get although I didn't have to

981
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:28,839
Speaker 2: low key stock you. I just had to find your

982
00:47:28,840 --> 00:47:32,400
Speaker 2: book publisher, Thank the Lord, and that it can be.

983
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:35,080
Speaker 2: It can feel as It's just funny because you know,

984
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:37,239
Speaker 2: American women, we have this perception, I think on the

985
00:47:37,239 --> 00:47:39,360
Speaker 2: outside world that we're go getters and we're loud, and

986
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:41,799
Speaker 2: we burn our bras and we just like get what

987
00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:44,160
Speaker 2: we want all the time. But there are a lot

988
00:47:44,200 --> 00:47:47,879
Speaker 2: of us who have this like internalized patriarchy and misogyny

989
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:52,120
Speaker 2: and the self doubt that stops us from using our voice.

990
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:54,359
Speaker 2: And maybe we're in that LinkedIn chat or zoom chat,

991
00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:57,040
Speaker 2: but we're not actually saying anything or thinking we have

992
00:47:57,120 --> 00:47:58,160
Speaker 2: something worth asking.

993
00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 1: Yep, that can hold us back. That's all valid self doubt, right,

994
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:05,960
Speaker 1: we all have it, but you have to push through it.

995
00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:08,200
Speaker 1: And the thing that I learned is that even like

996
00:48:08,440 --> 00:48:12,120
Speaker 1: very fancy looking successful people, like people who look like

997
00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 1: they have it all figured out, they all have self doubt.

998
00:48:14,719 --> 00:48:16,600
Speaker 1: I know that now because I hang out in green

999
00:48:16,640 --> 00:48:19,520
Speaker 1: rooms with them sometimes, and they all have to push

1000
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:23,000
Speaker 1: through it. Like you know, I've beat myself up for years.

1001
00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:27,120
Speaker 1: For years I've said to myself, woe is me? I'm short,

1002
00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:30,800
Speaker 1: I like eating carbs. You know, all these other people

1003
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:34,360
Speaker 1: are tall and thin naturally, and they naturally like eating

1004
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:38,080
Speaker 1: whatever the protein mumbo jumbo is. And I have now

1005
00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:42,000
Speaker 1: hung out with movie stars who like literally are struggling.

1006
00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:45,279
Speaker 1: They're clenching their teeth. You look at them and you're like,

1007
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:48,840
Speaker 1: you're struggling with this, really, like you want that piece

1008
00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:51,759
Speaker 1: of pizza and you're resisting it. Because I thought I

1009
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:54,640
Speaker 1: was the only one. I was like everybody else just

1010
00:48:54,719 --> 00:48:58,879
Speaker 1: naturally wants the Greek yogurt. It's me and it's not

1011
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:02,279
Speaker 1: like everybody's or their own struggle, Like I've hung out

1012
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:05,359
Speaker 1: with movie stars where they're like, I haven't eaten a

1013
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:08,840
Speaker 1: carb in twenty years, for real, because I just can't.

1014
00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:10,960
Speaker 1: If I eat one, I'm gonna want the whole thing

1015
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:14,480
Speaker 1: all over again. And you learn that everybody is struggling

1016
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:17,560
Speaker 1: their own struggles. It's real, and that helps you not

1017
00:49:17,719 --> 00:49:22,200
Speaker 1: take everything so seriously, you know, and so personally you

1018
00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:24,200
Speaker 1: take a shot and if it doesn't work out, you

1019
00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:27,040
Speaker 1: move on, you know, maybe discipline yourself like I there

1020
00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:29,759
Speaker 1: was a period of time where I used to be like,

1021
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:32,239
Speaker 1: for forty five minutes of the day, I'm going to

1022
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:35,879
Speaker 1: reach out to people somehow, whether it will be INSTEADM

1023
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:39,920
Speaker 1: or LinkedIn. I'm gonna read other people's things and actively

1024
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:43,680
Speaker 1: engage in their world because like a lot of people

1025
00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:46,480
Speaker 1: on social media will have their accounts, they will have

1026
00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:49,400
Speaker 1: their tweets in their posts, but they wait for people

1027
00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:51,600
Speaker 1: to come to them. But the way to actually build

1028
00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:54,719
Speaker 1: is to go out there and engage in other people's

1029
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:57,399
Speaker 1: like in your case, I'll give you an example. I'm

1030
00:49:57,400 --> 00:50:02,040
Speaker 1: doing so many podcasts, but you posting install stories about

1031
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:04,880
Speaker 1: what you liked in my world, you know, you are

1032
00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:08,920
Speaker 1: showing me that you're actually doing your homework, You're finding

1033
00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:11,960
Speaker 1: things relevant that I work so hard to build for

1034
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:16,439
Speaker 1: readers that that puts you on the fast track to like, yes,

1035
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:18,799
Speaker 1: I want to talk to this lady. I want to

1036
00:50:18,840 --> 00:50:21,879
Speaker 1: do our podcast immediately. You know what I mean. But

1037
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:24,520
Speaker 1: we all have to do some version of that in

1038
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:27,160
Speaker 1: our life. Is deliver value to other people so that

1039
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:30,759
Speaker 1: they are inspired to engage with us, that they feel like, yes,

1040
00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:33,480
Speaker 1: this is a person who's done a little bit of homework,

1041
00:50:33,800 --> 00:50:36,439
Speaker 1: cares to know about me, and how can I help them?

1042
00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:38,640
Speaker 1: And then we build this cycle of help.

1043
00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:41,399
Speaker 2: Well, you also told me crying on the internet would

1044
00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:43,520
Speaker 2: go viral, but it didn't. So I just wonder when

1045
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:43,920
Speaker 2: you got to.

1046
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:48,960
Speaker 1: Keep doing it, do more. I'm there are unlimited tears

1047
00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:49,359
Speaker 1: in there.

1048
00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:53,520
Speaker 2: Not every book is like yours. Can I just say

1049
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:55,440
Speaker 2: for my audience, you may not think, I mean, I'm

1050
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:58,120
Speaker 2: an African American woman, what are our stories have in common?

1051
00:50:58,160 --> 00:51:00,880
Speaker 2: But there was an anecdote in your book where for

1052
00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:05,040
Speaker 2: your wedding you were almost tricked into getting your whole

1053
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:08,080
Speaker 2: body bleached and like being slathered in some kind of

1054
00:51:08,160 --> 00:51:11,480
Speaker 2: chemical cream. Oh, and also in that anecdote you're trying

1055
00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:13,719
Speaker 2: to figure out why am I not leaving? Why am

1056
00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:14,719
Speaker 2: I enduring this?

1057
00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:15,839
Speaker 1: Because it was.

1058
00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:18,640
Speaker 2: Hours, right hours? And I just wanted you to know

1059
00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:22,280
Speaker 2: how seen I felt. Because black women in America we straight,

1060
00:51:22,320 --> 00:51:25,680
Speaker 2: we get we're grown up, often getting the chemical relaxers

1061
00:51:25,719 --> 00:51:29,239
Speaker 2: on our head, and I, as a kid, I would

1062
00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:32,839
Speaker 2: be burned alive like and I would be bloody and

1063
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:35,600
Speaker 2: have my hair stuck to my scalp afterward, and it

1064
00:51:35,640 --> 00:51:38,000
Speaker 2: went on until my twenties, and you just you just

1065
00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:40,400
Speaker 2: go through it and you're like, is this normal to

1066
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:43,279
Speaker 2: be in so so much pain and bleeding? And like

1067
00:51:43,360 --> 00:51:46,759
Speaker 2: it must be because they're charging me for it. And

1068
00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:49,080
Speaker 2: I just I felt really seen by that, and I

1069
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:53,040
Speaker 2: can there is something psychologically that happens when people are

1070
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:56,400
Speaker 2: inflicting pain on you for like a beauty standard that

1071
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:57,800
Speaker 2: just we just freeze.

1072
00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:01,839
Speaker 1: We all did it. We still it's crazy. Oh my god.

1073
00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:04,840
Speaker 1: When I was reliving that moment and writing that chapter,

1074
00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:08,120
Speaker 1: I was like, did it not occur to me that

1075
00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:11,680
Speaker 1: I could just be like stop this, I'm out? But

1076
00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:14,320
Speaker 1: instead I was like, yeah, bleach every corner.

1077
00:52:16,440 --> 00:52:18,400
Speaker 2: I don't know about that, but that was I was like,

1078
00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:20,279
Speaker 2: even on my own scalps, I don't know how you

1079
00:52:20,880 --> 00:52:23,319
Speaker 2: endure that, Sara, and I want to be respectful of

1080
00:52:23,320 --> 00:52:26,759
Speaker 2: your time. I know you're so busy. Thank you a

1081
00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:30,239
Speaker 2: million times over for saying yes and for letting me.

1082
00:52:30,520 --> 00:52:32,120
Speaker 2: It's really rare. I don't take it for granted that

1083
00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:33,480
Speaker 2: I get to look someone in the eyes and say,

1084
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:36,719
Speaker 2: your work really impacted me, and I'll carry it with me.

1085
00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:40,160
Speaker 2: And as someone who doesn't like fully yet call themselves

1086
00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:43,160
Speaker 2: an author, you wrote every word of this book, and

1087
00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:46,080
Speaker 2: I myself, I am writing my own book right now.

1088
00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:47,440
Speaker 2: I just submitted the manuscript.

1089
00:52:47,520 --> 00:52:50,160
Speaker 1: Thank you. Yeah, that's a big journey. That is such

1090
00:52:50,200 --> 00:52:50,919
Speaker 1: a hard job.

1091
00:52:51,800 --> 00:52:55,399
Speaker 2: People kept telling me to get a ghost writer, and

1092
00:52:55,600 --> 00:52:57,920
Speaker 2: I you tried, right, Yeah.

1093
00:52:57,600 --> 00:53:00,759
Speaker 1: It was so bad. I mean I wasn't able to

1094
00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:03,319
Speaker 1: do it. Maybe somebody else can show a better way.

1095
00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:04,040
Speaker 1: But it didn't work.

1096
00:53:04,719 --> 00:53:06,759
Speaker 2: It was just it became for me. I thought I

1097
00:53:06,800 --> 00:53:09,319
Speaker 2: was going to write a personal finance career book. It

1098
00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:13,360
Speaker 2: became stories, it became personal and I'm like, there's just

1099
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:14,799
Speaker 2: no way that's what I want.

1100
00:53:14,880 --> 00:53:17,040
Speaker 1: I want to read that book, Like, I don't want

1101
00:53:17,080 --> 00:53:20,680
Speaker 1: somebody's ghost written version. I want your words. And you know,

1102
00:53:20,760 --> 00:53:23,480
Speaker 1: like now I know how you speak, I know who

1103
00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:25,920
Speaker 1: your Cadence. I know how your mind is working. I

1104
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:28,880
Speaker 1: want more of this, So I hope that you just

1105
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:32,560
Speaker 1: write the story like I wrote my book, as if

1106
00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:35,200
Speaker 1: I'm talking to a friend, and hope that it's being

1107
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:38,440
Speaker 1: received that way, because I don't think anybody needs like

1108
00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:41,520
Speaker 1: a book from me that sounds like some deep thinking

1109
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:44,560
Speaker 1: philosopher wrote it, and it wouldn't be right. You know,

1110
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:47,719
Speaker 1: I'm a TikToker, So I think I really applaud you

1111
00:53:47,760 --> 00:53:50,240
Speaker 1: that you've submitted a manuscript that's so hard.

1112
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:55,320
Speaker 2: Two years, baby, much work and pages and page and

1113
00:53:55,560 --> 00:53:56,640
Speaker 2: and oh my god.

1114
00:53:56,680 --> 00:53:58,480
Speaker 1: When you think you're done, you're never done.

1115
00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:00,400
Speaker 2: Oh I know I'm not done either.

1116
00:54:00,520 --> 00:54:03,720
Speaker 1: Round of cedits and another polish and another Oh my god.

1117
00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:06,799
Speaker 1: So congrats to you, and really congrats to you for

1118
00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:09,239
Speaker 1: using the time that you have at home where you're

1119
00:54:09,239 --> 00:54:12,040
Speaker 1: restricted by so many things because you have little kids.

1120
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:14,840
Speaker 1: You're an example of how to make the best of

1121
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:18,000
Speaker 1: what you have and to put yourself in a position

1122
00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:21,040
Speaker 1: that once the kids get out, you can really take

1123
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:24,600
Speaker 1: off from that landing point. It's just great. I love it.

1124
00:54:25,160 --> 00:54:28,120
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for that encouragement, not that I

1125
00:54:28,120 --> 00:54:29,719
Speaker 2: mean I feel like you've given us so much. You

1126
00:54:29,719 --> 00:54:32,680
Speaker 2: don't owe me anything, but everything is in the book

1127
00:54:32,719 --> 00:54:35,040
Speaker 2: and I just yeah, I just appreciate all that you

1128
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:38,640
Speaker 2: stand for. Everybody, please go buy a copy of Zarna's

1129
00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:41,160
Speaker 2: incredible book. You got to get the audible because there's

1130
00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:44,200
Speaker 2: bonus essays. Your daughter's essay. Oh damn, we didn't even

1131
00:54:44,239 --> 00:54:49,120
Speaker 2: get into your kids. They're incredible. They're incredible. And check

1132
00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:53,719
Speaker 2: out your podcast, Zarnagarg's Family Podcast. Yeah, I love it.

1133
00:54:53,719 --> 00:54:56,400
Speaker 2: It's very you know, a unique name. You really like,

1134
00:54:56,440 --> 00:54:57,600
Speaker 2: went outside the box with that.

1135
00:54:57,760 --> 00:54:59,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're really deep thinking involved.

1136
00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:03,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I hope this won't be our last chat.

1137
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:05,400
Speaker 2: I hope that we'll get to chat again soon, so

1138
00:55:05,440 --> 00:55:08,000
Speaker 2: I won't try to get everything in there. Bazarrena guard

1139
00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:11,239
Speaker 2: appreciate you. You embody, brown ambition, and we're just so

1140
00:55:11,320 --> 00:55:12,239
Speaker 2: proud to have you here.

1141
00:55:12,960 --> 00:55:15,520
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for having me. I'm so honored.

1142
00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:18,560
Speaker 1: I love being on this podcast. I wish every listener

1143
00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:21,759
Speaker 1: and viewer of yours great success. And for those who

1144
00:55:21,800 --> 00:55:24,759
Speaker 1: are feeling stuck, I hope they feel unstuck when they

1145
00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:27,640
Speaker 1: read IF and when they read my book. A big

1146
00:55:27,719 --> 00:55:30,040
Speaker 1: reason I decided to write the book when I did

1147
00:55:30,160 --> 00:55:33,360
Speaker 1: prioritize it over everything else is precisely for that reason.

1148
00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:35,640
Speaker 1: So I get asked all the time, what can I do?

1149
00:55:35,719 --> 00:55:38,399
Speaker 1: I feel so stuck, and I try to give them

1150
00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:42,600
Speaker 1: the most honest, authentic solutions that I used in my

1151
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:44,799
Speaker 1: own life, and I really hope that one of them

1152
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:47,680
Speaker 1: works for them and helps them get unstuck. But thank

1153
00:55:47,719 --> 00:55:50,719
Speaker 1: you for having me. You're so wonderful and I have

1154
00:55:50,760 --> 00:55:53,680
Speaker 1: so much love for everybody in this universe. Thank you.

1155
00:55:53,880 --> 00:55:55,440
Speaker 2: And I'll leave you, guys with one of my favorite

1156
00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:58,080
Speaker 2: quotes from your book. Okay, well two of them, but

1157
00:55:58,160 --> 00:55:59,799
Speaker 2: this one in particular is if you want to be

1158
00:55:59,800 --> 00:56:02,759
Speaker 2: an entrepreneurs, start saying to yourself, I'm going to do

1159
00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:05,680
Speaker 2: this no matter what every day. I Am going to

1160
00:56:05,719 --> 00:56:07,839
Speaker 2: do this no matter what every day. Because there are

1161
00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:10,200
Speaker 2: so many challenges, we've got to keep that mantra going.

1162
00:56:11,040 --> 00:56:13,960
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you all right, b I fam Until

1163
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:17,680
Speaker 2: next time, Bye bye