Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and Michael Colin, And I've
Speaker 1: heard radio podcast is everyone voting for the People's choice word?
Speaker 1: If I vote today, Let's get on it, because here's
Speaker 1: the thing. Yes, mamma, do you want to do a party?
Speaker 1: You and your party? I love throwing a party. I
Speaker 1: love a party. Do you want to have a party
Speaker 1: for the People's choice nomination? Danielle and I have some
Speaker 1: things up our sleeve? And what do you think? I
Speaker 1: love that I'm asking on the air, because how can
Speaker 1: you say no? We should do a co party with
Speaker 1: the scrubbing in Michael No. I was so excited to
Speaker 1: just even be like again nominated and with them. I
Speaker 1: love both those girls so much much fun. I think
Speaker 1: we have we have the party in Nashville because both
Speaker 1: those girls want to go. And I've been texting both
Speaker 1: those girls like crazy to how much fun would that be? Seriously,
Speaker 1: because honestly with me, literally I've been talking to both
Speaker 1: for those girls this past week, like I'm like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I love you, congrat some gonna love you
Speaker 1: congrat like and then we're like, let's do a Nashville trip,
Speaker 1: all right, an l a party in the Nashville party.
Speaker 1: Well then if you are, of course you are. We
Speaker 1: got time those shows not till November, that's true. We
Speaker 1: can do a party in September. Yeah, we could do that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, Daniel and I are on it. We can
Speaker 1: also do a party in October, November, where December or
Speaker 1: January that's after to everyone's in, keep on, keep them,
Speaker 1: keep them coming. So we can have another party in
Speaker 1: December January to celebrate then winning again. Getting older. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but here's the thing though, it's not I don't feel
Speaker 1: like Dak Shepherd's people vote. It's like it's the Bachelor
Speaker 1: nation that votes because it was you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: I really do. But who knows. We'll see you got
Speaker 1: anything you want to talk to me about there? Let
Speaker 1: me answer this if you well, I don't think we've
Speaker 1: ever touched on this. If there's one thing that you'd
Speaker 1: want to do in your life that you've always kind
Speaker 1: of thought like answer in another life, and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: I'm gonna actually gonna make this more difficult for you
Speaker 1: because I know you're going to is gonna be I
Speaker 1: wanted to be an anchor women. Well, that's like my
Speaker 1: third thing on my list. Okay, why do you say
Speaker 1: like that, I want a women because and then like
Speaker 1: the home videos that you show me when you're like twelve,
Speaker 1: that's how you're sitting. I'm Janna Freemer recording Lifeless News.
Speaker 1: Pretty much that. Um, so, what is it that you
Speaker 1: would like to do or would want to do in
Speaker 1: a different life. What do you think it's going to
Speaker 1: be besides um an in person? Well, then you kind
Speaker 1: of live in your dream because you're an younger person.
Speaker 1: For extra, extra extra, you're gonna see Jana on your
Speaker 1: hotel room TVs. Hey, guys, I booted Mario Lopez out.
Speaker 1: I'm Janna Kramer, Janna Kramer this week on demand puppy pause.
Speaker 1: Um yeah, so what would you want to do? I
Speaker 1: just guess the anchor UM Eastern give me a good guess.
Speaker 1: This is I like to play the guests and game.
Speaker 1: I like to play games. I want to play more
Speaker 1: games on the show. Like, what what have you always
Speaker 1: wanted to do? Like a pipe dream? Like, uh, let's see,
Speaker 1: I could see Jannah being like a secret agent, martial
Speaker 1: arts expert, that kind of thing, like a black widow type.
Speaker 1: I like that. Um okay, so my number one would be, well,
Speaker 1: what I've always wanted, because that's what I've always wanted
Speaker 1: to do, right, Yeah, just something that you you've always
Speaker 1: kind of been drawn to, but your life went in
Speaker 1: a different direction. But yeah, what would you want to do?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna change your question a
Speaker 1: little bit, and I'm gonna I'm gonna say what I
Speaker 1: would have, what I still would love to accomplish in
Speaker 1: this lifetime. Not the question. Yeah, it is not a question. Okay, fine,
Speaker 1: So I'll answer your question and I'll answer mine. So
Speaker 1: what I would want to do in another lifetime. I
Speaker 1: would want to go into politics, and I would want
Speaker 1: to be a political figure because I loved current events
Speaker 1: in um, you know how people get like like House
Speaker 1: of Cards, people are like scared of you know. Characters
Speaker 1: like Robin would be my Janna would be the real
Speaker 1: life like Robin White, Robin Robin, Right, Yeah, that would
Speaker 1: be my dream. Like would you want to be a
Speaker 1: mayor of the city or would you want to be
Speaker 1: I would want to run. I would want to go
Speaker 1: because I loved politics when I was in high school,
Speaker 1: I loved it so much. So, I mean I I
Speaker 1: did extra credit homework, so that my UM homework us
Speaker 1: in my current events class, they still use my like
Speaker 1: extra credit project. I did just because I even just
Speaker 1: wanted to come in and talk all about George Bush
Speaker 1: and so, Um, I was so excited because I got
Speaker 1: I won the trip to go to the capital, and
Speaker 1: I was living my best life, just like being in
Speaker 1: the capital, being in that room. It was just maybe
Speaker 1: we passed each other on a field trip back then.
Speaker 1: Maybe you were in the senior in high school. I
Speaker 1: was graduating sixth grade. Yeah, but in this lifetime, though,
Speaker 1: it would be Um, I've I would love to go
Speaker 1: to college and get a degree in UM psychology. I
Speaker 1: would actually love to get a degree in psychology too. Well,
Speaker 1: you can't take mine. No, I took a couple of
Speaker 1: psychology classes in college, and I wish I would have
Speaker 1: focused on that. Yeah, but that's awesome, Michael, what's yours now?
Speaker 1: And then in another life, since I did too, since
Speaker 1: I added my question into this one, Um, in another life,
Speaker 1: actually applings there since he made fun of mine, Since
Speaker 1: you made fun of mine, just called me Carl Winslow. Um, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, after this numerous time, it's probably even on here.
Speaker 1: I'll probably even say it later today because we have
Speaker 1: an amazing guest who has a background in military and
Speaker 1: special ops. But I've always been drawn to law enforcement
Speaker 1: and not just being a cop. But fbi CI just
Speaker 1: something like that, you still can I'm thirty two? Does
Speaker 1: that matter? It's like you like are like sixty when
Speaker 1: you say it's like I can't take up piano, I'm
Speaker 1: thirty two, Like that's no, that's not true. Just think
Speaker 1: about where you could be at a Dixie too. You
Speaker 1: know you're not sixty, You're not dying. You're thirty two
Speaker 1: years old. Okay, I'm gonna quit everything we're doing and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go be a secret what you want to do? Okay,
Speaker 1: I I think I said this before too. That ship
Speaker 1: has sailed because all of our ship is out there.
Speaker 1: That doesn't That's not gonna mean that you're not gonna
Speaker 1: be able to do sweat because the undercover agent though,
Speaker 1: well anyways, so that But then, honestly, when I was
Speaker 1: a kid, besides I've wanted to play in the felt
Speaker 1: since I was like four. But besides that, in law enforcement,
Speaker 1: I always thought I'd be a really good teacher, like
Speaker 1: I love to teach and I wanted to teach either
Speaker 1: late elementary school or late high school. Elementary school like
Speaker 1: fifth grade, like fifth sixth grade, or late high school.
Speaker 1: Probably late high school. But I just I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just always thought I would enjoy teaching. I would
Speaker 1: be a good teacher. Not middle school, because all those
Speaker 1: kids are well sixth grades middle school in some in
Speaker 1: some places, that's why I was, well, where I come from,
Speaker 1: is it really one through six, seven eight middle interesting?
Speaker 1: That's the normal way. I don't know if you if
Speaker 1: I see you being so, you actually see you being
Speaker 1: more of a middle than elementary and high. My patients
Speaker 1: could not handle middle schoolers, but yet you can handle
Speaker 1: fourth and fifth graders because because their fourth and fifth
Speaker 1: graders there, you're still partly cute. Seventh and eighth graders.
Speaker 1: We all went to middle school. That's the worst time ever.
Speaker 1: Everyone's a head. Everyone sucks and stinks. Middle school sucks
Speaker 1: and stinks, and everyone's stinky and they don't really know
Speaker 1: it yet. So people aren't really putting on either they're
Speaker 1: not putting on perfume, cologn or deodorant, or to put
Speaker 1: on too much. I think you, because I don't, you're
Speaker 1: not good with the cockiness, and you're not good with
Speaker 1: the shyness cockiness like if a kid was being yeah
Speaker 1: grade yeah, but I have a way to break through that.
Speaker 1: And what would you want to teach? What subject? When?
Speaker 1: When I had this dream, I wouldn't be a history teacher? History? Interesting?
Speaker 1: So who won the Battle of Gettysburg? Your mom, Michael, No,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna quiz your history nous in school history and
Speaker 1: social sides? Was like my favorite? Who won the Battle
Speaker 1: of Gatlinburg? Gatlinburg? I don't know, do you you're the
Speaker 1: history teacher? Let me get some O. When did when
Speaker 1: did um Columbus sail around the world? And what did
Speaker 1: he realize that he's not alone and that all made
Speaker 1: up answers, foes and the right answer? I see? I
Speaker 1: mean I could have said, kay, I would have known
Speaker 1: that the bat with him Um finally keeping check at him.
Speaker 1: I see. Actually it wasn't too far off. I did
Speaker 1: say when was the pilgrimage? Looks sick brush and is relevant?
Speaker 1: Because he said you wanted to be a history teacher?
Speaker 1: What history are you talking about? Anyway? I'm just this
Speaker 1: wasn't my dream. Now, this was a different lifetime, but
Speaker 1: you still have to have some knowledge like I have
Speaker 1: knowledge in mine were yours? Again, I don't know it's
Speaker 1: give any more. Okay, Well, I'm really excited because I
Speaker 1: just heard that our special litterally literally our special guest
Speaker 1: is here. So um, let's take a quick break and
Speaker 1: then we're going to intro our guests. I know Michael
Speaker 1: and I both can say that this is probably going
Speaker 1: to be one of the coolest interviews as we've had
Speaker 1: one like this yet, and no offense to our other
Speaker 1: guests was we love all of our guests, but this
Speaker 1: is just something that's I'm so excited because it's very
Speaker 1: um how do I say, very relevant topic that we've
Speaker 1: been discussing the house and um, you know, our guest
Speaker 1: has been through a lot, so I'm excited talk about
Speaker 1: the journey. But then also the things that we want
Speaker 1: to know more about be safe too. Okay, Michael, I'll
Speaker 1: give you the let's welcome before I give the elevator pitch.
Speaker 1: Mr Aaron Cohen, alright, elevator pitch here, elevator pitch. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go to my nets just so I don't mess
Speaker 1: anything up. Aaron is a former Spec Ops commando of
Speaker 1: turned bodyguard turned actor Little Mr. Everything. The age eighteen,
Speaker 1: you're volunteered and selected to serve in the dubbed an
Speaker 1: the Secret Israeli Commander Unit operating undercover and in disguise
Speaker 1: inside Palestinian territory, which was designated to infiltrate terrorist cells.
Speaker 1: So you've done everything, So you're just a you're a
Speaker 1: you're a badass. Yeah, I love it? Where it? I mean,
Speaker 1: this is something, Mike, I mean, this is what um so.
Speaker 1: I was in the unit that dresses up as Arabs
Speaker 1: to go undercover to kidnap terrorists to bring them back
Speaker 1: to Israel. Wait say that you dressed show. There's a
Speaker 1: show on Netflix called Felda. Felda is blowing up. It's
Speaker 1: in its third season, I think, right, and it's the
Speaker 1: unit that specializes in dressing up as Arabs for the
Speaker 1: purpose of infiltrating terrorists neighborhoods to kidnap terrorists to bring
Speaker 1: them back to Israel for trial and interrogation. So in
Speaker 1: the first American to ever serve in the unit. And
Speaker 1: there's a show on Netflix called Falada, which is like
Speaker 1: with Leo Roz. Yeah, totally blowing up right now you
Speaker 1: get a picture of it. There and uh, it's the
Speaker 1: the number one show on Netflix right now and the
Speaker 1: reason why is because it's in Hebrew and Arabic and
Speaker 1: all the Arabs that hate Israel love the show because
Speaker 1: finally like getting to see behind the curb a little bit.
Speaker 1: So um, yeah, I did that for seven years. That's fast.
Speaker 1: That was like your dream, wasn't it, Mike, Well, just
Speaker 1: I've always been I'm have a sports background, played professionally
Speaker 1: and stuff like that. But my biggest thing, like, once
Speaker 1: I retired, I even thought about doing law enforcement, because
Speaker 1: that's just been That's one of those pipe dreams for me.
Speaker 1: I've always wanted to serve in some kind of law enforcement.
Speaker 1: So yeah, but the but here's so I was all
Speaker 1: for it. I was like, babe, go. He even went
Speaker 1: to the to the what's that called you're you're a
Speaker 1: former football player? The fantastic so but he was like, well, babies,
Speaker 1: like the kind of law enforcement I would want to
Speaker 1: do is like I would want to be the ones
Speaker 1: like breaking down the doors and like yeah, like I
Speaker 1: like I told her there's this unit in Nashville where
Speaker 1: we're living at the time, and now we're back there
Speaker 1: and I don't remember the name of it, but it
Speaker 1: was basically the squad that kind of does all the
Speaker 1: you know, the down and dirty stuff. That was my
Speaker 1: next job. I spent the last fifteen years training SWAN
Speaker 1: teams in the Israeli methodology of Active Shooter Response and
Speaker 1: uh c QB or Forced Entry for High Risk Warrant
Speaker 1: Service and hostage Rescue. Do you have a family? I do?
Speaker 1: Was your wife terrified? My fiance I met after the
Speaker 1: military in my career. She still is kind of terrified
Speaker 1: with the stuff I do. But she likes all the
Speaker 1: acting stuff now. But I think she likes the more
Speaker 1: badass stuff, do you know what I mean. She's like,
Speaker 1: she's like, Hollywood's cool, Like she loves the Hollywood stuff.
Speaker 1: I hate the Hollywood stuff. I like working in films
Speaker 1: because it's so much more fun. Like I'm like blanks
Speaker 1: versus bullets. It's like the blanks, um. But she likes
Speaker 1: me because of the real stuff, because she knows the
Speaker 1: Hollywood stuff is nonsense. And do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: I feel safer with me because of the fact that
Speaker 1: I'm a reserve deputy. I carry a firearm. If I'm
Speaker 1: in a movie theater, I can respond to an active
Speaker 1: shot which leads us to this thing. So I have
Speaker 1: terrible anxiety because well I've had anxiety for a while,
Speaker 1: but I recently had anxiety attack because I went to
Speaker 1: a target and I was with our nine month old son,
Speaker 1: and I had just read a story about a baby
Speaker 1: that passed away and the you know, the arms of
Speaker 1: a mom who was at the Walmart um in El Paso.
Speaker 1: And the second I was in that target, I was
Speaker 1: just like, okay, how am I going to protect my
Speaker 1: son when a shooter comes in? And so I told
Speaker 1: my about my panic attack and how I had immediately
Speaker 1: left target, and and he was like, you know what,
Speaker 1: babies like I've been thinking too, and I want to
Speaker 1: talk to you about this is like, would you be
Speaker 1: okay if I got to carry a carry carrying license?
Speaker 1: And I was just like a million percent, you know,
Speaker 1: to to protect, you know, just to know that we
Speaker 1: can at least protect ourselves and people around us if
Speaker 1: something like that were to happen. It's just it's a
Speaker 1: scary reality though too, to have you know, what's how
Speaker 1: do you how do I guess? Like is that is
Speaker 1: that safe? Address it? Let me address it. That's a
Speaker 1: fair question because my fiance gets gets anxiety allso she
Speaker 1: hates going out. I've got Amazon boxes at my door
Speaker 1: every night because she doesn't want to go to the
Speaker 1: grocery store. And that's all I do. And listen, I
Speaker 1: don't carry this knife, don't get too far from the
Speaker 1: mic for self defense. I carry this to cut them,
Speaker 1: to put them into boxes so I can get them
Speaker 1: into garbage. I literally bought and just like that for
Speaker 1: that reason. So let me address that. So my primary job,
Speaker 1: like I said, for the last seventeen years as a
Speaker 1: body are and then after not eleven, a tiny SWAAN
Speaker 1: team in the middle of nowhere called me. They're like,
Speaker 1: do you do the Israeli thing? Can you train us in?
Speaker 1: That turn into like three thousand police officers and military
Speaker 1: units all over the world. We traveled and Tom, here's
Speaker 1: my training coordinator, and I'm all for it, but you
Speaker 1: gotta get to training. The average law enforcement officer has
Speaker 1: to qualify once a year, once a year, and they
Speaker 1: shoot maybe five thousand rounds in the academy. In my unit,
Speaker 1: it was five thousand rounds a week. That Special operations great.
Speaker 1: Same thing with Seal Team, same thing with rangers, same
Speaker 1: thing with Delta Delta is even more it's at at
Speaker 1: a more extreme level. So my unit, which is a
Speaker 1: Tier one unit like Delta Force or like dev Grew
Speaker 1: or Seal Team six um, which these units have come
Speaker 1: to to come to the movies more with With with
Speaker 1: Mark Wahlberg and Marcus Lattreelle and you're you know, we're
Speaker 1: seeing more of the Special Operations community. You gotta get
Speaker 1: to training. What I mean is in Israel, anyone who's
Speaker 1: issued a firearm has to go through a minimum of
Speaker 1: forty hours of training, which involves everything from point shooting,
Speaker 1: which is behavioral based. So if you're stressed, what's that
Speaker 1: going to feel like? One? Two firing in and around
Speaker 1: the crowd? What does that look like? When I bring
Speaker 1: in to the Americans, they look at me, They're like, dude,
Speaker 1: you're out of your mind. We could never get away
Speaker 1: with that. And my answer is that's because the liability
Speaker 1: of not firing into a crowd is still greater than
Speaker 1: the liability of firing into a crowd. So until that
Speaker 1: becomes congruent and there's more active shooters and terror attacks,
Speaker 1: there cautious about the types of things. They look at
Speaker 1: with me, But then at the end they go, You
Speaker 1: know what, that's really smart. Carry the pistol, get the permit.
Speaker 1: But to get one is easy, you know, as long
Speaker 1: as you don't have a felony and fire a few
Speaker 1: bullets at the range of whatever it is you're find.
Speaker 1: But you have to train like an animal so that
Speaker 1: while you're carrying with your wife, with your kids, you
Speaker 1: have some blocking capabilities like a bodyguard and how to
Speaker 1: cover them, and how to work into a crowd and
Speaker 1: how to find a single threat with a crowd of
Speaker 1: people running around? Where was it a Walmart? The way
Speaker 1: that was episode? Where were you when you so targets
Speaker 1: like the Jewish Walmart? That's like the jappy Walmart. I'm
Speaker 1: a jew, I can say, okay. So so it's the
Speaker 1: same vibe though, right, Like there's gonna be people running everywhere,
Speaker 1: and they're all gonna be running towards the exit, and
Speaker 1: your instinct is gonna be running also. But law enforcement
Speaker 1: has to run to the threat. So if you're gonna
Speaker 1: do it, just get law enforcement great active shooter training
Speaker 1: and there's more of it now than everyone. If you
Speaker 1: want to be be in touch with me and I can
Speaker 1: connect you with an agency in Nashville. You said, you
Speaker 1: guys are so everyone's training is getting better. Just make
Speaker 1: sure you get a lot of training. And it's like
Speaker 1: you know, in football, everything is like designed to make
Speaker 1: it so it's real when you're in the place. He's
Speaker 1: the football animal exactly, and we call it dry fire.
Speaker 1: The same thing you have to be doing drills under stress,
Speaker 1: your heart rate is were what happens to your vision
Speaker 1: tunnel vision, what happens to you're hearing auditorious sclusion in
Speaker 1: normal reaction? Right, the same stuff that you do in football,
Speaker 1: we do with a gun. So just take that and
Speaker 1: put that on the range and if you want, I'll
Speaker 1: make you guys a menu of some of the stuff
Speaker 1: to start looking at training and after you get the
Speaker 1: department and then you feel a little bit better. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because at the end of the day, it's not making
Speaker 1: her happy because she's not happy, you're not happy. That's
Speaker 1: going to go. I just would love to be able
Speaker 1: to go shopping and or go to the mall, or
Speaker 1: go to the freaking church and not feel like, okay,
Speaker 1: because this is it gonna happen today here, you know everything,
Speaker 1: because it's like you can't go any church, malls, schools.
Speaker 1: It's like not theater anyway. So I just I want
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I want to get off the topic. I
Speaker 1: want to talk about your new movie. But I just
Speaker 1: not even know if we can talk about it. I
Speaker 1: don't want to get political, I really don't. But I'm
Speaker 1: just curious. You know, they say, because I don't want
Speaker 1: our guns to be taken away. I love the right
Speaker 1: to bear arms. I think that's, you know, great, But
Speaker 1: when people say, when they talk about like Australia and
Speaker 1: there's been they don't they can't have guns. But then
Speaker 1: there's no But people say, well, you can find the guns.
Speaker 1: Even if you take away the guns, people are always
Speaker 1: going to find the guns. Well, then why haven't they
Speaker 1: found him in Australia. Why haven't there been any shootings. Listen,
Speaker 1: you're never taking guns away from Americans. We don't have
Speaker 1: a we don't have a second Amendment. In Israel, everybody
Speaker 1: serves in the Israel Defense Forces. So between the ages
Speaker 1: of eighteen twenty one, every man and woman picks up
Speaker 1: a rifle and does some type of national service in
Speaker 1: the Israel Defense Forces. Um and nobody has a gun
Speaker 1: out of the army unless your law enforcement so I again,
Speaker 1: I don't think you're ever gonna take guns away from Americans.
Speaker 1: And I think the Second Amendment is so we even
Speaker 1: into the culture in the fabric of this country because
Speaker 1: let's just cowboy, it's a cowboy country. We've founded this
Speaker 1: whole kind I'm Americans, So this whole country was founded
Speaker 1: on the ability to be able to defend yourselves. And
Speaker 1: so anyways, you're not getting the guns away from Americans.
Speaker 1: But what you can't legislate and get tighter on is
Speaker 1: the mental health restrictions and making sure that people who
Speaker 1: have mental health problems can never get a gun. I
Speaker 1: don't have a problem with making sure that people who
Speaker 1: own a gun should be checked and make sure that
Speaker 1: they're checked and maintain that checking so that there aren't
Speaker 1: mental health is just because everybody knows it's a giant
Speaker 1: mental health problem. Here kind of being muddled with a
Speaker 1: gun problem when it's sort of a combination of the two.
Speaker 1: Um A RS or no a RS. I don't want
Speaker 1: to get into that. Uh, you can do just as
Speaker 1: much damage which with a pistol as you can with
Speaker 1: an a R. Can you do more than you know
Speaker 1: what I mean? That doesn't have most of the shootings
Speaker 1: we see here with the a AR because they're higher
Speaker 1: cap mags and the bullets firedcon is supposed to supposed
Speaker 1: to nine ft per second. The a R is more lethal.
Speaker 1: It's just it's a fact. Do you need an a
Speaker 1: R in your house where I use it for home defense?
Speaker 1: Probably not, because I would want frangible rounds that don't
Speaker 1: go through walls and stuff. Um, but um, I want
Speaker 1: to be careful with that because again I'm all four weapons,
Speaker 1: but the training has to be there. So if you're
Speaker 1: not getting the guns away from the Americans, then you
Speaker 1: can regulate the training and then regulate the mental health checks.
Speaker 1: In Israel, if you want a pistol, or you can't
Speaker 1: even get a rifle. If you want to pistol, you
Speaker 1: have to live either like right near the border of
Speaker 1: Lebanon where there's terror attacks coming, or near the southern
Speaker 1: border in Gaza, and it's to protect your family from
Speaker 1: a terror infiltration. What's been the scariest thing that you've
Speaker 1: ever witnessed during all of your lines of work? Um,
Speaker 1: Right when I finished my pipeline in the Israeli Special Forces,
Speaker 1: in the counter terror unit, I was sleeping for like
Speaker 1: three days straight. I couldn't move. I was so tired.
Speaker 1: And there was a monster terror attack and this was
Speaker 1: in nineties seven at a mall in Tel Aviv, and
Speaker 1: it felt like an earthquake because I'd grown up with
Speaker 1: earthquakes and I'm like in my underwear running with my
Speaker 1: m sixteen down the street with an officer of mine
Speaker 1: who I was living with on my team, and we
Speaker 1: were we responded to a deadly terror attack where twenty
Speaker 1: seven people were killed and it was like right outside
Speaker 1: of the mall. And then at that moment I realized
Speaker 1: just how ugly the face of terror was because it
Speaker 1: has no name. It has you know what I mean, redbuddies,
Speaker 1: open target and yeah, and there were not eleven hit.
Speaker 1: After I was out of the army and I saw
Speaker 1: the planes hit the towers, I went, well, guess what,
Speaker 1: it's here. It's here. Unfortunately I'll have a career, but
Speaker 1: it's here. So I would say that decent golf mall
Speaker 1: attack was was terrible because it was on the day
Speaker 1: of Israel's Halloween and there was like kids and costumes
Speaker 1: you know who were who were uh in pain and
Speaker 1: suffering and there's like nothing you can do. And then
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, all of our pages went off
Speaker 1: in the entire unit got called back, and then for
Speaker 1: the next three months we didn't sleep, just hunting down
Speaker 1: the architects of that, this terrible wave of attacks in
Speaker 1: the nineties. I mean, this is the guy that you
Speaker 1: play on your video games, Like this is their real
Speaker 1: life version, the Jewish version. I mean yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: it's speechless in some sense just because all this, Like
Speaker 1: I could sit with you someone like you for hours,
Speaker 1: because I just don't even know what kind of questions
Speaker 1: I would have. They just keep coming and coming. But
Speaker 1: to get back for our topic ab out you know,
Speaker 1: carrying everything, And I agree with you for sure, Like
Speaker 1: I wouldn't even feel comfortable carrying until I get enough
Speaker 1: training where I feel confident comfortable, Like you're not gonna
Speaker 1: get on the field, un listen, right right, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna go see if I don't know what I'm going right. Um,
Speaker 1: But for people that maybe either live in a state
Speaker 1: that has tighter gun laws or don't believe in in
Speaker 1: necessarily you know, weapons or guns to protect themselves, what
Speaker 1: would you advise people who want to still feel secure
Speaker 1: in some way without using Um, good preventative good question
Speaker 1: smart good preventative measures. Like everything has behavior before it actualizes.
Speaker 1: So like, you know, my girlfriend is trained to look
Speaker 1: at the cars when she's walking to her car, because
Speaker 1: if someone's gonna follow you, they're gonna be sitting in
Speaker 1: a car. Look at the vehicles. When you pull out,
Speaker 1: you'll see a car. You'll hear a car engine turn on,
Speaker 1: So get ahead of it, open your eyes and look.
Speaker 1: Situational awareness is like a real thing, Like you can
Speaker 1: Michael all the time because women are buried here and
Speaker 1: we're in such an Instagram culture, which is great for
Speaker 1: advertising because you can force feed them what you want
Speaker 1: infiltrate their cell phones with c I A level capabilities,
Speaker 1: you know, because everyone's on their phone now and we
Speaker 1: can advertise and make millions of dollars selling whatever we
Speaker 1: want today. But you gotta get your head out of
Speaker 1: your phone and when you're walking and you're moving, have
Speaker 1: a look at where you're going. Another thing is download
Speaker 1: Find My Friends, Like there's all kinds of great trackings,
Speaker 1: now download it. You know, Like not only will you
Speaker 1: be able to find her if her phone dies, yeah then,
Speaker 1: but also if you lose your phone, you can find
Speaker 1: it for her without having the log on, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. So, Um, it's just about getting in
Speaker 1: front of the threats. So looking at cars when you're
Speaker 1: walking to your cars, stay away from the night stuff
Speaker 1: like don't be out at night. There's no reason anywhere
Speaker 1: in the world, you know what I mean. Crime thrives
Speaker 1: at night. That's where it breathes. It's like a fungus. Um.
Speaker 1: And um, I'm not a big fan of like self
Speaker 1: defense training to protect yourself because I don't think it's
Speaker 1: gonna work under stress unless you're like m M A
Speaker 1: grade Jennifer for that moment. But if you put a
Speaker 1: gun in her hands and she's trained, it's the total
Speaker 1: tactical equalizer, you know what I mean. I don't care
Speaker 1: how big you are or if you're teo or tease.
Speaker 1: You come at her and she fires and put three
Speaker 1: shots in you, you're gonna go down. So there's a
Speaker 1: reason why you know, weapons exist for self defense, but
Speaker 1: you've got to be trained to be able to use
Speaker 1: them under stress. So but I've trained tons of women.
Speaker 1: You gotta see Heywire with Gina Krano. I trained Gina
Speaker 1: for that movie. She's an m M A fighter. So
Speaker 1: when she picked up the gun. She was a natural
Speaker 1: because she could already, you know, do all this stuff.
Speaker 1: And that's why I started in movies. And we can
Speaker 1: get to that whenever. But um, you can learn how
Speaker 1: to shoot weapons. Everybody can and it changes. There's no
Speaker 1: difference between you two with a gun. Period. So great.
Speaker 1: So my first day with my fiance was she had
Speaker 1: no idea what I did? Do you want to go shooting?
Speaker 1: And I'm sick of this business. I'm like what she
Speaker 1: must have stocked my Facebook page. I've got my stuff
Speaker 1: on there. I post him here and there and we
Speaker 1: went and then I and then I said, I sent
Speaker 1: the target like fifty yards down the range and I go,
Speaker 1: if I hit it, you have to kiss me in
Speaker 1: our house. I sent it back and I folded the
Speaker 1: target up like this big. But it's like, that's our story.
Speaker 1: That's fantastic. That So into the movies, right, you you
Speaker 1: worked on do you work on the earlier MBO to Rambour?
Speaker 1: Last Blood is the one? Yes. I was in john
Speaker 1: Wick and I trained Keanu Reeves for john Wick. I
Speaker 1: did a portion of his firearms training, so he had
Speaker 1: about five different instructors he had. He can Machado. He
Speaker 1: had a whole diet of like really top guys and
Speaker 1: I was lucky enough to get in there for all
Speaker 1: of his uh concealed carry work and his room clearing
Speaker 1: work and um, so that was for John Wick two
Speaker 1: kana when I are still pretty tight and um he
Speaker 1: trains all the time, but it's a very perishable thing.
Speaker 1: So that's another thing to remember with training, Like you
Speaker 1: gotta keep shooting absolutely it goes down. It's like, so
Speaker 1: sorry for you. What position did you play? Was a
Speaker 1: tight end? So what is tight end? Here's the football master? Catch, block,
Speaker 1: do everything. So you're like I used to be, like
Speaker 1: you have to be able to do everything everything, run
Speaker 1: past guys faster than you, block guys bigger and stronger
Speaker 1: than you, and catch balls. Yes, so that's the real deals.
Speaker 1: He's a football like nerd um. So that's awesome. So John,
Speaker 1: I actually just watched John with three Parabellum, which was
Speaker 1: watched it. I told you I was going to, but
Speaker 1: I didn't care anyways. Anyways, So how how is that
Speaker 1: working with these do you find yourself where when you
Speaker 1: work with these actors more of them are are interested
Speaker 1: and locked in? Or do you think it's hard to
Speaker 1: kind of get their attention and be like, hey, no,
Speaker 1: this is It depends on who it was. So I
Speaker 1: started off tech advising. Uh. In two thousand and eleven,
Speaker 1: that was my first movie. That was Haywire Um Trained,
Speaker 1: Gina Chrono and Channing Tatum before he blew up, like
Speaker 1: before magic might hit my kid. I was there in
Speaker 1: the room and he pitched it to Soderberg, and Soderberg
Speaker 1: was like, I would do that movie. It was like
Speaker 1: I got the stripper movie idea in Florida. It was like,
Speaker 1: I would do that movie. And I was like, dude,
Speaker 1: I just saw a hundred fifty million dollar payout happened
Speaker 1: right like, and that was the real deal. Um. So uh.
Speaker 1: Most of the actors are into it because the action
Speaker 1: today has the bar has been set so much higher,
Speaker 1: Like throughout the eighties and the nineties was about like
Speaker 1: a single physique with Schwarzenegger Rambo, but then all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, after the Matrix changed everything, all of a
Speaker 1: sudden was about the action. So once John wu came in,
Speaker 1: and the child Skis came in, and and and the
Speaker 1: martial arts became the star that the level has just
Speaker 1: continued to grow. So it opened up a market for
Speaker 1: guys like me to come in and bring great tactical training.
Speaker 1: So I did a couple of movies and then Soderberg
Speaker 1: put me in my first movie, which was Hayward and
Speaker 1: had a tiny of the role with like three lines.
Speaker 1: Did you love it or you just like oh my god?
Speaker 1: Like I was done. I'm like, wait a second, you're
Speaker 1: gonna pay me to do what I'm just like I
Speaker 1: can hustle this. I'm like I And so I did,
Speaker 1: and so we're five movies later. Um the producers of
Speaker 1: Rambo called me up um asked me to join the
Speaker 1: law enforcement side of the cast, and Rambo's got a
Speaker 1: very contentious relationship with law enforcement, going back to First
Speaker 1: Blood with Brian Denny and he's like, listen, it's not
Speaker 1: a huge part, but it's important and we think you
Speaker 1: can carry this. Would you come and play the police
Speaker 1: State Captain? And I did, And that was coming off
Speaker 1: another movie I've done with the same company called to
Speaker 1: eleven with Nick Cage, which is on Netflix, and I
Speaker 1: had a monster scene with Nick Cage and not like
Speaker 1: as that it's called to eleven because I just watched
Speaker 1: the Nicholas cage of the gun running one Lords of
Speaker 1: Lords we just saw. So they're turning that into a
Speaker 1: TV show. I can't I can't see anymore. But that's
Speaker 1: turning into a TV show and I'm going to be
Speaker 1: working on that as well. Yes, be a Netflix series. Oh,
Speaker 1: I mean it was. I just I just find that fascinating.
Speaker 1: Just I'm like, I want to just go along with you.
Speaker 1: I kind of do you know. I'm like, I just
Speaker 1: I want to just for a day, I really truly
Speaker 1: good for a day. I would just love to just
Speaker 1: get in the inner workings of that and just see
Speaker 1: the messed upness of everything and how these people are
Speaker 1: getting those guns, and it's very interesting. I actually wouldn't
Speaker 1: want to sell the guns in the largest supplier of
Speaker 1: arms all over the world. So yeah, just hanging out
Speaker 1: with like you know, cult American, Like America sells more
Speaker 1: guns than anybody. What are you the most scared of?
Speaker 1: Are you scared of anything? I don't think about fear.
Speaker 1: I don't you know what I mean. I'm just aggressive,
Speaker 1: you know, my my my fears. I don't know. It's
Speaker 1: a good questions. What is there to be afraid of?
Speaker 1: I could be dead already, I'm grateful and beyond scared.
Speaker 1: I'm happy. There's nothing that you just because like what's
Speaker 1: gonna happen? But someone's gonna light me up in a
Speaker 1: movie theater on arms, I could bring it. You walked
Speaker 1: into the wrong theater. Oh I want you on every
Speaker 1: plane every like I want you. I want you to
Speaker 1: and then in and here's the exactly what I was
Speaker 1: just gonna say, is the same thing. Right in football,
Speaker 1: I wasn't scared because I was prepared. I knew what
Speaker 1: I was doing, I was trained. I have that mentality.
Speaker 1: But the difference clearly between me and Scott is that
Speaker 1: you are trained and so in those scenarios like I
Speaker 1: wouldn't know necessarily what to do if I'm carrying that,
Speaker 1: but I had the mentality. Right. But that's the thing.
Speaker 1: It's like, those those kind of scenarios that are going
Speaker 1: on in the world in our country today, are I
Speaker 1: still have fear around them because at this current moment
Speaker 1: I am not. You need to catch up and right exactly,
Speaker 1: But it's that mentality that I just love. Well, you
Speaker 1: were taught, as I was, how to turn fear into aggression. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and that's a and that's and that's a really important
Speaker 1: life skill. So I'm not afraid. I'm just like Antsie,
Speaker 1: like let's get more going. You know. I have to
Speaker 1: move at the pace of like the next thing and
Speaker 1: the next thing, like you know what I mean my
Speaker 1: fears that I don't get to do it all? What
Speaker 1: do you want to do next? I just want to
Speaker 1: keep supporting actors. I want to be like the next
Speaker 1: Tom size more without can I swear on the show? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Without in all the nonsense that he's done. I just
Speaker 1: want to take his job because he's no longer welcoming
Speaker 1: that job. But I'm in that forties right there, which
Speaker 1: is like the sweet spot. I just want to support
Speaker 1: these guys because we don't have to carry the weight
Speaker 1: of the film, but we can be in like every
Speaker 1: one of them. We'll take it well. I I just
Speaker 1: I You're fascinating, So thank you for coming on and
Speaker 1: sharing your wisdom and love and guns and Rambo September theaters.
Speaker 1: Have you seen it in its entirety yet? I have not,
Speaker 1: Uh when the premiere, I don't know if they're gonna
Speaker 1: do in l a premier. Um slides pretty smart. He
Speaker 1: might do like some social media. Yeah, he's cool. He
Speaker 1: like yeah, he was like, so I got my sides
Speaker 1: and then it was like I shut up on set
Speaker 1: and and I was like, you know, like you know
Speaker 1: everyone's you know, they they're careful round slide because he's
Speaker 1: such a legend, and I wanted to run it because
Speaker 1: I've got a scene with John j He's coming down
Speaker 1: this hill and I'm like, I gotta talk to him
Speaker 1: and so many a couple of lines, but I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go out to slides, so if he wants
Speaker 1: to run lines. And I walked over and I go, hey, slowly,
Speaker 1: you want to run this? And he goes yeah, and
Speaker 1: and and then like I can't believe you the nerve
Speaker 1: to ask him, because I wouldn't. I could never do that, Like,
Speaker 1: but dude, it's so good to run this, Like gets
Speaker 1: make it good because he, you know, half wrote the
Speaker 1: script and he's you know, half directing the movie. He's like,
Speaker 1: you know, a real filmmaker. And it's in Rambo. He's
Speaker 1: coming down on his horse and it's raining and it's
Speaker 1: like a ten dollars set up, and I'm like and
Speaker 1: I walked over to Slim, like yo, you want to
Speaker 1: run and he goes and I threw the lines and
Speaker 1: he goes and he goes, yeah, just like that, and
Speaker 1: I'm like cool, and then I went back to my
Speaker 1: mark and then it was like and then we shot
Speaker 1: it and then it was awesome. So and everyone needs
Speaker 1: to see it September. Everyone needs to see in September
Speaker 1: twenty Um. I think this will be the final Rambo.
Speaker 1: But he's an incredible shape. He looks amazing. The knife
Speaker 1: that they picked for him is awesome. He goes up
Speaker 1: against the Mexican cartel, which isn't a new storyline, but
Speaker 1: it's new for John J. And this is Rambo like
Speaker 1: in the seventies. So you're gonna see some like you're
Speaker 1: gonna like. But we everyone they played it close to
Speaker 1: how it would really be, so it's a much Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a much Rambo nine at the v A Right,
Speaker 1: where's my money? Thank you guys so much. Okay, so
Speaker 1: this is what happens when you're in California because we're
Speaker 1: obviously um, we did our last podcast in California, last episode,
Speaker 1: and so now we know we're um recording again and
Speaker 1: we just had a visitor coming Pop on the show
Speaker 1: and I'm so intrigued because I just got a very snipped,
Speaker 1: small snippet of what this is and I just cannot
Speaker 1: wait to hear. So, Michael, would you like to announce
Speaker 1: our podcast? We have and I haven't known much about it.
Speaker 1: I did a little bit of reading about it when
Speaker 1: I found out that you were going to be on.
Speaker 1: And I've heard of Dirty John, which is apparently like
Speaker 1: the most popular podcast ever. But we have Tara Newell
Speaker 1: from Dirty John, the original, the one that went through
Speaker 1: it all that everything was based off of. Here with
Speaker 1: us today, So just start. Okay, So my story is
Speaker 1: my mom married a con artists. This guy ended up
Speaker 1: being a really bad guy. My mom left him a
Speaker 1: couple of times, and the last time that she left him,
Speaker 1: he ended up coming after me and trying to kill me.
Speaker 1: I was twenty five at the time. Yeah, so he
Speaker 1: tried to kill me and try to stob me. Well
Speaker 1: he did stob me, but I was actually able to
Speaker 1: get the knife and defend myself and kill me attacker. Wow.
Speaker 1: Have you done a lot of therapy? Yes, so much therapy.
Speaker 1: We're big therapy advocates, and I can't even imagine going
Speaker 1: through something like that. Yeah. No, I've done actually um
Speaker 1: E M d R therapy. Yeah, and that's helped so much.
Speaker 1: But I'm still targeting all my triggers, so I'm still
Speaker 1: going through it. Did you do visual or audio e
Speaker 1: M b R um So I did it with the
Speaker 1: tappers and then you go through the event and then
Speaker 1: you kind of bounces a brown from image to image
Speaker 1: when you do it, but they're all correlated together. Wow,
Speaker 1: that's fascinating. Can I just add in one thing that
Speaker 1: I love? Not love, that's a terrible word to use,
Speaker 1: but that's very fascinating to me about Tara is how
Speaker 1: you knew how to attack John because it's it's kind
Speaker 1: of badass. Oh the walking zad I watched a lot
Speaker 1: of Walking Za, so it's kind of like Monkey Sea
Speaker 1: Monkey You. And then you learn how to hold the
Speaker 1: knife correctly and to basically kill a zombie but kill
Speaker 1: a person basically the same thing. You know, Just what
Speaker 1: did you run away after that? Or what did you Okay?
Speaker 1: So at first, when someone grabs you, you need to
Speaker 1: try to flee the scene. You need to try to
Speaker 1: run away from them because just to fight them your
Speaker 1: chances kind of go down. Um, So you try to
Speaker 1: run away and then if you're unable to run away,
Speaker 1: then you need to start doing anything you can to
Speaker 1: try to like defend yourself. Where I put my arm up,
Speaker 1: I blocked my heart, so he stabbed me on my arm,
Speaker 1: my forearm instead of my heart, and then I was
Speaker 1: able to kind of disconnect. I would scream. I bit
Speaker 1: him as hard as I could. I ended up on
Speaker 1: the floor and just I used my feet and my legs,
Speaker 1: my thighs. You know, your legs are your biggest muscles
Speaker 1: in your body, your largest muscles in your body. So
Speaker 1: you've got to use what um basically you were born
Speaker 1: to do, because we have instincts as a human to survive.
Speaker 1: So in this case, I used everything I could to
Speaker 1: survive in that instance. I'm sure you've talked about all
Speaker 1: of this so much. How many years ago did this?
Speaker 1: This happened three years ago. I just celebrated my three
Speaker 1: year anniversary, so it actually is still recent. It's pretty recent,
Speaker 1: but I feel like a good amount of time has
Speaker 1: gone by to heal. How did this story become dirty John? Okay,
Speaker 1: so it was at l a Times story and then
Speaker 1: it ended up into being a podcast. And what I mean,
Speaker 1: like they just they nicknamed him Dirty John. Why I'm
Speaker 1: so his ex wife Tanya had that nickname for him,
Speaker 1: and when the show was coming to play, they were
Speaker 1: kind of thinking of like what should we name it
Speaker 1: in the podcast and stuff, and then she was just like, okay,
Speaker 1: dirty John. And that's kind of how they got the name.
Speaker 1: But how did it get picked up to be that?
Speaker 1: Like did she write it? Did she like, who got
Speaker 1: this story to turn it into? Because I mean this
Speaker 1: is I mean, you know there's there's a lot of stories,
Speaker 1: not a lot of stories, but you know there's con
Speaker 1: artists and so it's like how to become that? Though,
Speaker 1: like how did it start to even start that to
Speaker 1: be a story? Okay, so I believe it was Hannah
Speaker 1: Fry from the Daily Mail. Not the Daily Mail. Um,
Speaker 1: it was like a local newspaper. They told Christopher Gofford
Speaker 1: about it, and also, um, the prosecuting attorney who was
Speaker 1: supposed to and prosecute me if I were to be
Speaker 1: on the wrong side of things kind of Um. He
Speaker 1: told Christopher Gofford also about it, and then he became
Speaker 1: kind of intrigued by the story and contacted my mom.
Speaker 1: And at this time it was like do we want
Speaker 1: to talk about this because it's such a traumatic, yeah,
Speaker 1: a traumatic experience, and I didn't want my name to
Speaker 1: be out there for something like this, but I honestly
Speaker 1: prayed about it and I gave it to God and
Speaker 1: I just had the answer that this was gonna help people,
Speaker 1: and it's actually helped so many people. So that's why
Speaker 1: I put my story out there and how it kind
Speaker 1: of came out there. That's has it with As much
Speaker 1: as you talked about this, does it get easier every
Speaker 1: time you do or is it still something that just
Speaker 1: every time it's still just kind of hits that chord
Speaker 1: of triggers a little bit. Um there's a sense of
Speaker 1: me being disconnected to it. Now. I talk about certain
Speaker 1: things that I want to talk about. I don't talk
Speaker 1: about things that necessarily bother me, that triggered me, Like
Speaker 1: I'll talk about like the hospital that triggers me because
Speaker 1: I'm scared to death of hospitals. And then it was
Speaker 1: like my personal space after being attacked and then going
Speaker 1: into intensive care, not intensive care, but the trauma unit.
Speaker 1: They touch you everywhere. And when I say like everywhere,
Speaker 1: it's everywhere and they're poking you with it was so
Speaker 1: that was kind of like re traumatizing to me. So
Speaker 1: that's the part that's triggering to me. And then just
Speaker 1: if I smell blood, then that's triggering. Why why did
Speaker 1: he come after you? I didn't not go after your mom,
Speaker 1: like you know. He went after my mom the night before,
Speaker 1: but he was in unable to get into her apartment complex.
Speaker 1: So I don't know if he came after me the
Speaker 1: next day because I was an easier target or if
Speaker 1: I was just so when he was going after it
Speaker 1: from the beginning, because he had my Facebook page printed out,
Speaker 1: like where I worked. He called my work the day before,
Speaker 1: so it was premeditated. We're during the whole like prosecute
Speaker 1: the process after the fact, right, we'd like to think
Speaker 1: that the justice system is going to do the right thing.
Speaker 1: But did any part of you have any fear of, well,
Speaker 1: what if they mess this up somehow? Like what if
Speaker 1: someone tries to manipulate the situation and they try to
Speaker 1: put something on me? So John has done that with
Speaker 1: so many other people, but I killed him, so I
Speaker 1: didn't have that fear of him turning that around on me.
Speaker 1: But I did after a few months when I heard
Speaker 1: that the case wasn't closed. Then I was like, am
Speaker 1: I going to get arrested for this? But I was
Speaker 1: like I shouldn't because it was strictly self defense. I
Speaker 1: tried to flee away from him, I tried to run,
Speaker 1: I defended myself. There was nothing that I wanted to
Speaker 1: harm this person. What hurts you the worst with saying
Speaker 1: what you just said, um that I honestly had to
Speaker 1: take another person's life. But I remember that they're evil
Speaker 1: and that helps. Yeah, I mean you shouldn't. Hopefully you
Speaker 1: always remember that because you know, I come from an abuse,
Speaker 1: abusive relationship who he tried to kill me, and I remember,
Speaker 1: like you know, but they make you think that it's
Speaker 1: your your fault. So I just want you to not
Speaker 1: twist that that's my only And I'm sure, I'm sure
Speaker 1: you've done so much work, but well, thank you for
Speaker 1: sharing that with me. Also, I respect that it's just
Speaker 1: you know, there's such evil people out there and people
Speaker 1: need to be aware to look out for red flags
Speaker 1: and um the signs because there's so many cases that
Speaker 1: women are abused in you know, their person that supposedly
Speaker 1: loves them tries to harm and kill them. Do you
Speaker 1: work with any shelters like Safe Horizon. So right now
Speaker 1: I work with Safe Passion, Safe Passage heels Um. I
Speaker 1: am doing a five k run for them on September amazing. Well,
Speaker 1: thank you. Is any of this, Janna, Is any of
Speaker 1: this triggering for you? Yeah, I'm but in a way
Speaker 1: where I'm like, because she got out, we got out,
Speaker 1: and it was like it could have been so much worse.
Speaker 1: We're survivors, but but I just I can't imagine, like
Speaker 1: because I tried to fight back, you know, I ended
Speaker 1: up getting like choked where I lost breath, but you
Speaker 1: know I couldn't. Yeah, I just to know what you
Speaker 1: had to do the extra level. I mean that just
Speaker 1: you were you were surviving and you you know, you
Speaker 1: saved your life, and I just the trauma with all
Speaker 1: of that is just very overwhelming, I'm sure. And yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean and just thinking. I mean, my guy, my
Speaker 1: abuser was he was a complete conartist, and he had
Speaker 1: million different last names, and it was in jail for
Speaker 1: things I had no idea about, took out credit cards
Speaker 1: and you know my mom's names, and you know, we
Speaker 1: had no idea about any of it. So it's just
Speaker 1: the list adds up. You know. He was targeting my
Speaker 1: mom before we even knew. He took out so much money,
Speaker 1: and he took out like three hundred thousand dollars of
Speaker 1: hers And it's just so scary because people are out
Speaker 1: there and they will do this to you. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: it's just but the women, that's it's just the staying
Speaker 1: in it is like the hard thing because it's like
Speaker 1: when you're hearing like, oh yeah, I got back right
Speaker 1: after he said I was gonna you know, right back
Speaker 1: to his bed right after he said he was gonna
Speaker 1: kill me. But that's so the cycle, I know. And
Speaker 1: that's what if anyone any women and men listening, because
Speaker 1: it is both ways, you know, um that you that's
Speaker 1: hardest thing. I don't even know what to say because
Speaker 1: I'm like, when you're in that moment, you don't know,
Speaker 1: like you don't, you can't you can't see until you're
Speaker 1: out of it. Yes, No, it's really hard to walk away. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's part of the trauma, to say, prize, And that's
Speaker 1: where I wouldn't wish I would have. He was part
Speaker 1: of the trauma. Maybe also playing the scenario like what if,
Speaker 1: like what if you didn't you weren't able to do
Speaker 1: what you had to do. Yeah, she would have died, right,
Speaker 1: I feel like make up. I don't know. I haven't
Speaker 1: experienced something that traumatic, but is that part of your
Speaker 1: trauma is going through and like, what if something the
Speaker 1: negative consequence would have happened? I mean, now you're going
Speaker 1: to make me cry. I'm it was just like my
Speaker 1: nieces and nephews, like heaven forbid if anything happened to them,
Speaker 1: Like I would have tried to kill this guy like
Speaker 1: a hundred times. So for like, it's just like my family.
Speaker 1: He was coming after my family and families everything to me.
Speaker 1: So it's just it's just so emotional thinking that what
Speaker 1: if it could have been one of them? So I'm
Speaker 1: so thankful it was me. That actually makes sense, totally
Speaker 1: makes sense. Another thing too, is I think, Mike, maybe
Speaker 1: you can get from the anxiety standpoint, Like why I
Speaker 1: have such bad anxiety when I feel trapped is because
Speaker 1: I am He's on top of me in that moment
Speaker 1: and I can't escape. So that's why I like, I
Speaker 1: have a hard time I expressed because it's like you like,
Speaker 1: that's my PTSD and as the moment I got it,
Speaker 1: and that's why I have such a bad anxiety. Now,
Speaker 1: it's like when I feel trapped anywhere I go, all
Speaker 1: I envision is him on me and I can't escape
Speaker 1: because what would have I thought I was dying in
Speaker 1: that moment, right, So that's the like anxiety there, which
Speaker 1: I'm sure I feel that. Like there's sometimes when I
Speaker 1: go to country festivals and it's like I have to
Speaker 1: feel every exit. Yeah, I know, every exit. I have
Speaker 1: to have space. And people touched me then I kind
Speaker 1: of freak out on them and it's not because they're
Speaker 1: like a bad person or anything. It's just because my
Speaker 1: boundaries are being breached. How is this, let's take a
Speaker 1: turn a little bit. How is this maybe affected or
Speaker 1: not affected your personal life as put in an aspect
Speaker 1: of dating or like are you dating? Are you married?
Speaker 1: Or you say, like, what's your relationship and how much
Speaker 1: has this affected it. I'm I'm definitely not married. How
Speaker 1: I'm tony a love things, um, but I am dating
Speaker 1: people here and there, and I'm trying too well. This
Speaker 1: is honestly like a reoccurring problem with or without the trauma.
Speaker 1: I'm trying not to self sabotage relationships because welcome to
Speaker 1: wind down. Yeah, because it's so easy. Yeah, but it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, if you find a great guy and then
Speaker 1: he does not do like one thing that makes you happy,
Speaker 1: then you're like, okay, I'm gonna just turn it all
Speaker 1: around on him. And then you're like, I'm going to
Speaker 1: sell sabotage myself. So I'm learning right now not to
Speaker 1: do that. And how's your mom? She's doing all right.
Speaker 1: She has a new boyfriend and we like him. I
Speaker 1: really do a nice, nice guy. Yeah. No. So he's
Speaker 1: from Newport and that's like kind of where I grew up.
Speaker 1: So I've asked a round about him. My sister has,
Speaker 1: and you can find any dirt on anyone in Newport.
Speaker 1: So it's like he was just like a guy that
Speaker 1: went to the bars and now he's like kind of
Speaker 1: find the love of his life. So it's like it's
Speaker 1: really cute. And he takes such good care of my mom.
Speaker 1: That's amazing. Yeah, he gets her massages twice a week. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he probably even, Um, do you get any do they
Speaker 1: have to come to talk to you when they do
Speaker 1: the dirty john stuff? I am? So I'm actually officially
Speaker 1: out of that contract, so not anymore. Okay, So you're
Speaker 1: okay out of it. Were you in in the beginning
Speaker 1: with the show with the Connie Britton and all that.
Speaker 1: I am so I was kind of involved with that,
Speaker 1: but I didn't really have a say in anything. It
Speaker 1: was more so they kind of took it and did
Speaker 1: what they wanted. It was more so Alexandra Alexandra hunting
Speaker 1: Hand's version of Dirty John. Okay, I've never talked to
Speaker 1: somebody that's had a story based on them or based
Speaker 1: around fact in their life. How was that to see
Speaker 1: or I don't know, if you've listened, if you've listened
Speaker 1: to podcast, if you watch the show or movie, whatever
Speaker 1: it is, how is that to see something that happened
Speaker 1: in your life and it not be exact in the
Speaker 1: factual element. It was interesting, Like it was so triggering
Speaker 1: actually because so many of that did hats your life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and but there was like some things that didn't happen
Speaker 1: exactly the way it happened, and I'm just like, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's a little off. And I honestly needed those parts
Speaker 1: because then it brings you back to reality. I'm watching
Speaker 1: something not real. I can get that. So it's really cool,
Speaker 1: but it's also triggering. Yeah, Well, Tara, thank you for
Speaker 1: popping in and chatting with us on Wine Down, and
Speaker 1: I just yeah, I have a lot of love for you,
Speaker 1: my heart, and thank you for on our podcast. We're
Speaker 1: all about being very open, very honest, and our whole
Speaker 1: goal is to help people in their relationships because we
Speaker 1: put all of our out there. So the fact that
Speaker 1: you're able to do that with your story and help
Speaker 1: people not feel so alone and what they have to
Speaker 1: do with is very commendable and we respect the hell
Speaker 1: I do you for doing that. Yeah, well, thank you.
Speaker 1: I thought's honestly my life goal now. And and uh,
Speaker 1: the big man upstairs knew that knows that you're strong
Speaker 1: enough to help other people. So that's why there's the
Speaker 1: greater purpose for all that, alright, thank you. Furniture shopping
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Speaker 1: get fifty dollars off your first purchase of a hundred
Speaker 1: dollars or more. I just can't even imagine. I mean
Speaker 1: I can obviously can imagine you can, but you can Yeah,
Speaker 1: please take this class. You don't like my s I
Speaker 1: where my son glasses? That is no, but see, I
Speaker 1: just can't. I mean, can you imagine self defense or
Speaker 1: not taking someone's life. You and I have kind of
Speaker 1: talked about this if we would be able to, and
Speaker 1: we both agreed the only way would be if for you,
Speaker 1: the only way would be family self defense, self defending,
Speaker 1: defending my defending me and my family. I mean I
Speaker 1: would I would truly hurt someone very badly if they
Speaker 1: ever hurt my kids, you know. And this is especially
Speaker 1: with the theme of today's show with like Aaron on earlier,
Speaker 1: who's I didn't even ask him, but he's definitely killed people. Okay,
Speaker 1: he was in special Ops. Is really special Ops? Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: he's killed people. So I don't mean to be disrespectful
Speaker 1: to anyone who has either serve this country down whatever
Speaker 1: and had to take a life. I feel like, um,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have a problem with it in the right circumstance,
Speaker 1: Like if someone hurt Jolie or j Yes, like I
Speaker 1: feel like, yeah, oh absolutely, Like without hesitation would not
Speaker 1: have an issue. So again I say that just purely
Speaker 1: out of my own emotion and how I feel as
Speaker 1: a human being. But but here's playing god. You're taking
Speaker 1: someone's life. Do you think you could be on a
Speaker 1: jury with a death penalty case because I could not
Speaker 1: do it. I could not do it. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: I could depending on the circumstance in that situation. But again,
Speaker 1: like by you taking someone's life, and again I'm saying
Speaker 1: I probably could too if it's my children, or if
Speaker 1: I'm defending, like if if if I if I could
Speaker 1: have gouged, you know, and and hurt Mike, I mean
Speaker 1: I want I want to live in that moment, but
Speaker 1: and not Mike is sorry my views are Mike, but
Speaker 1: um so yes, But at the same time, if it's
Speaker 1: a situation where we go out, so in that situation,
Speaker 1: see if someone but if someone hurts our kid, which
Speaker 1: again I could see red and I can see doing it.
Speaker 1: But then again, you are playing God in that sense
Speaker 1: where you're coming and you're saying, all right, but it's
Speaker 1: not it's not necessarily it is a choice. But at
Speaker 1: the same time, it's not. It's it is when you're
Speaker 1: not there though in that moment for the right reasons,
Speaker 1: it's protecting. But what if I'm saying, I'm saying, if
Speaker 1: it's like a Julia Roberts that one movie where if
Speaker 1: she they had already you go back for revenge to
Speaker 1: kill the person. That's what I'm saying, of course protection,
Speaker 1: but I'm saying it to go back to revenge. So
Speaker 1: like say someone harmed one of you three, Yeah, like
Speaker 1: they killed one of us and I didn't get them
Speaker 1: in the act, I would still be able to do it,
Speaker 1: I believe. Again, I don't mean that to any disrespect
Speaker 1: to anyone who has had to do that, but I
Speaker 1: just feel, knowing who I am as a person, I
Speaker 1: feel like I would be So then here's my question,
Speaker 1: would you still do that even let's say let's say
Speaker 1: let's say they hurt God forbid, one of our children.
Speaker 1: Would you then go kill someone? But then now you're
Speaker 1: in jail and you're away from one of our kids. No,
Speaker 1: I'm not saying no, I'm not at all saying that.
Speaker 1: I'm saying I would be able to. But that is
Speaker 1: definitely different situation because then then, yeah, then whoever's remaining,
Speaker 1: who's still living, you're screwing over twice there he lost somebody.
Speaker 1: Now they're gonna lose you for murder charges. Now. One
Speaker 1: of my absolutely there is where that's a judicial system.
Speaker 1: But a movie that I've always loved enough, such a
Speaker 1: good movie. Q Jackman love that movie, Jake, Jake, Jolan
Speaker 1: hall Uh, Terence Howard. That is a movie that impacts
Speaker 1: me so lately because what Hugh Jackman does is something
Speaker 1: that I could see. Didn't didn't they imprison him? They
Speaker 1: like that was the Yeah, they're like trapped, Yeah, imprison them.
Speaker 1: That's just I feel so much emotion when I watched
Speaker 1: that movie because I just feel like that's something that
Speaker 1: I would just it would be hard for me just
Speaker 1: to give it up to somebody else to take care of.
Speaker 1: I would want to see justice, for sure, and sometimes
Speaker 1: justice I don't think it is served properly. I mean
Speaker 1: in in situations for sure, especially when you know jails
Speaker 1: are overcrowding too. I mean remember when Mike got sentence
Speaker 1: my abuser and it was like, you supposed to serve
Speaker 1: what nine years? And he got out in like four
Speaker 1: or five? Mike, wait what you know? But anyways, it's crazy,
Speaker 1: it's crazy. I'm glad she Yeah, it seems like she's,
Speaker 1: you know, handling it the best that anyone could handle
Speaker 1: a situation like this. Yeah, you know, mm hmm crazy.
Speaker 1: What an episode though, It's the whole theme of the
Speaker 1: episode has been very powerful. I know. I'm excited to
Speaker 1: wind down again next week