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Speaker 1: Dearest John, It's been a fortnight since I felt your

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Speaker 1: warm embrace.

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Speaker 2: Dear Sam, such it has since we started the Okay

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Speaker 2: Storytell podcast.

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Speaker 3: Yes, and I have a message for you, a delicious

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Speaker 3: story that I think you'll love. Sincerely Sam.

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Speaker 4: But before that, thine, divine two minute outbreak must happen,

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Speaker 4: I bid thee farewell.

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Speaker 3: See you in two minutes.

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Speaker 5: My friend's fiance made the wedding planning unbearable, so I'm

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Speaker 5: stepping down.

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Speaker 3: They can't have you if they don't treat you right.

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Speaker 5: A former colleague who I'm friendly with but not super

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Speaker 5: close to, asked me to be one of her two

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Speaker 5: maids of honor. We've only met around twenty times in

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Speaker 5: two and a half years, so I was surprised but

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Speaker 5: flattered and saw it as a chance to grow our friendship.

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Speaker 5: Since then, she started calling me her best friend, which

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Speaker 5: feels premature and not mutual. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 5: from Evaca, do Doovka do evaka, and if you one

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Speaker 5: has made your own stores, go to the ours lash

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Speaker 5: Okay star Time subreddit. So I've met her fiance a

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Speaker 5: few times and frankly, we don't get along. He gossips

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Speaker 5: comes off secure and has been rude to me and others.

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Speaker 5: He also micro manages everything. As maid of honors, we're

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Speaker 5: organizing three events, a bachelorette, the civil wedding will follow

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Speaker 5: this year, and the religious one in twenty twenty six.

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Speaker 5: The bride initially said that she wanted a low key

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Speaker 5: bachelorette focused on quality time.

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Speaker 3: We kept that in mind.

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Speaker 5: Then her fiance began making specific demands private bed and

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Speaker 5: bath for the bride, enough breaks between activities, et cetera.

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Speaker 5: We adjusted our plans accordingly. Now, two weeks out from

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Speaker 5: the bachelorette, he demanded our full itinerary, said it wasn't

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Speaker 5: good enough and told us to start over.

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Speaker 3: He aggressively messaged.

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Speaker 5: The other maid of honor, said that we were denying

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Speaker 5: the bride the weekend she deserves, and insulted one of

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Speaker 5: the girls in the group, calling her a dumb witch.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. What When we explained we were.

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Speaker 5: Keeping costs reasonable at the bride's request, he dismissed our concerns,

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Speaker 5: saying others' financial situations weren't his problem. Keep in mind

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Speaker 5: that this man is not working, not earning a living,

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Speaker 5: not paying for anything, and especially not their wedding. The

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Speaker 5: irony we were rendered him that both of the maid

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Speaker 5: of honors were chosen to plan this and he should

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Speaker 5: trust us. He refused, and he implied that we are

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Speaker 5: failing as her best friends. I am not excluding the

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Speaker 5: possibility of him doing this and the bride giving him

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Speaker 5: hints or instructions in the background because she is not

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Speaker 5: comfortable with confrontation or saying her mind. I am burned out.

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Speaker 5: I don't even know why I was chosen in the

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Speaker 5: first place. I want to support the bride, but I

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Speaker 5: can't tolerate this level of disrespect. Neither do I want

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Speaker 5: to help plan another two bridal events in such a

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Speaker 5: tense atmosphere. What those two bridal events are we don't know.

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Speaker 5: We have yet to find out. But I digress. My

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Speaker 5: plan is to follow through with the bachelorette, then tell

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Speaker 5: the bride that I'm stepping down as made of honor.

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Speaker 3: Ideally I would be uninvited to the wedding, but that

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Speaker 3: will be up to her. Anyone.

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Speaker 5: If anyone has suggestions on how to approach the situation,

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Speaker 5: please let me know, and there are some relevant comments.

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Speaker 3: How would you handle this situation? Though? If the freaking

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Speaker 3: groom yeah, called some like one of my friends of

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Speaker 3: freaking be Yeah. I'd be like, hey, friend bride, are

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Speaker 3: you gonna let him talk to us like that? And

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Speaker 3: then if she said yeah, I'd be like, okay, maybe

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Speaker 3: be part of the wedding. So yeah, exactly. Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Like what he's he's saying like, no, you have to

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Speaker 5: do this better, you have to do this better. This

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Speaker 5: is not good enough for my coqueen. And then they're like,

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Speaker 5: so how are we gonna pay for this? He's like,

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Speaker 5: I don't know, figure it out. It's like, so that's

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Speaker 5: not gonna happen, and then like that's simply it does

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Speaker 5: come down to money when you're planning things like that.

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Speaker 5: There are some relevant comments. A new Aunty twenty six says,

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Speaker 5: step down as it makes no sense that a casual

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Speaker 5: friend like you were made made of all. She could

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Speaker 5: have invited you as an ordinary bridesmaid, but that still

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Speaker 5: doesn't make a ton of sense.

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Speaker 3: People think that it's such.

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Speaker 5: An honor, but your unpaid labor to make sure someone

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Speaker 5: else enjoys their special day. I think that you are

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Speaker 5: showing great restraint by not quitting prior to the bachelorette,

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Speaker 5: but I agree that if you did quit before it

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Speaker 5: would ruin the event.

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Speaker 3: OPI responds to this comment, we used to work together.

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Speaker 5: I think she made me made of honor because she

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Speaker 5: knows that I get crap done and done well. Someone

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Speaker 5: else in the comment said that she is using me

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Speaker 5: and that starts to resonate. Just started to resonate. Maybe.

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Speaker 3: Mr eight thirty says, I don't mean this bad.

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Speaker 5: Leave out you at all, but it's telling that she

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Speaker 5: asked someone that she doesn't know that well to be

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Speaker 5: her bridesmaid. I'm wondering if other people said no are

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Speaker 5: dropped out already because of him.

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Speaker 3: I hope that.

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Speaker 5: She wises up before she marries him. I'd say that

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Speaker 5: it's no longer doable for you to be a bride.

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Speaker 3: It's made, but.

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Speaker 5: You'll come as a guest if she'll have you give

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Speaker 5: specifics about what he is doing that caused you to

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Speaker 5: come to this decision, and let her know that you're

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Speaker 5: here for her if she needs anything. OPI responds, agreed,

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Speaker 5: it'll be important to be factual as to my decision

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Speaker 5: and still offer my presents.

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Speaker 3: To be frank.

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Speaker 5: After all this, I'm not keen on being in his

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Speaker 5: vicinity and would rather not attend the wedding at all,

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Speaker 5: but that will be their call whether or not they

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Speaker 5: decide to keep me as a guest. OCPMS one says,

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Speaker 5: what other events are you supposed to plan?

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Speaker 3: I would love to know. The bride and groom are

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Speaker 3: supposed to plan their own events, except.

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Speaker 5: The bachelorette parties and bachelor parties and bridal shower if

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Speaker 5: there is one. OPI responds, the bride expects our support

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Speaker 5: and planning both of the civil and religious weddings, dealing

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Speaker 5: with the location, sourcing and coordinating vendors, setting up and

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Speaker 5: taking down de corps, organizing surprises for their babe.

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Speaker 3: That's a wedding planner, your babe. People get people, get

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Speaker 3: paid money for that. You're spending all the money and

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Speaker 3: you're planning all this and he's on her calm people

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Speaker 3: b words, girl, this is why she only has casual friends.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, docks, he.

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Speaker 5: Has to plan the whole wedding, dude, that is so

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Speaker 5: not your responsibility at all.

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Speaker 3: Do you not have to do that? You don't have

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Speaker 3: to do that, don't do it.

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Speaker 5: Princea Pessa says, to be honest, I would screenshot the

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Speaker 5: messages of the groom cursing at you and the other

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Speaker 5: mother in law.

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Speaker 3: Send them to the bride and tell.

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Speaker 5: Her that you are stepping down and not even wait

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Speaker 5: until the bachelorette unless you've already stunk money into it.

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Speaker 3: Then I understand waiting.

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Speaker 5: Oh, he responds, the money I've already put into it

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Speaker 5: is not worth my piece. Also, he is coming along

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Speaker 5: and I can't stomach a multiple hour train ride with him. Umm,

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Speaker 5: micro Bunny says, Oh, what do you mean he's coming

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Speaker 5: to the bachelorette party, Like, are they having a dule

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Speaker 5: bachelor bachelorette party or is he just coming? Ope, he says,

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Speaker 5: the groom is taking advantage of the situation to visit

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Speaker 5: a friend in the city that we're going to. We

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Speaker 5: are traveling together but staying in different accommodations. I don't

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Speaker 5: put it past him to randomly join the bachelorette though unannounced.

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Speaker 5: What's the situation with the rest of the bridal party.

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Speaker 5: The rest of the bridal party is a mixed bag.

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Speaker 5: There are old colleagues, study friends that she's not close to,

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Speaker 5: and one is the groom's friend's wife. I can hardly

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Speaker 5: believe that no one in the group is closer to

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Speaker 5: her than I am, except for the other maid of honor,

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Speaker 5: who she's known since childhood and is very close to.

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Speaker 5: I definitely want to let her know that I am

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Speaker 5: still there and she can reach out at any time.

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Speaker 5: I just can't morally support this relationship and this idiot's behavior,

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Speaker 5: and it's thank you.

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Speaker 3: For all the insights. It was helpful to have my

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Speaker 3: suspicions validated whilst figuring out and exit strategy. It is

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Speaker 3: Monday morning.

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Speaker 5: I've messaged the groom asking him to stop intervening in

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Speaker 5: the planning and it takes a step back for the

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Speaker 5: sake of the other made of honor. I've also messaged

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Speaker 5: the bride asking to meet tomorrow in person and we

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Speaker 5: have an update. Do we have any thoughts before we

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Speaker 5: move on? Hey girl, Hey girl.

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Speaker 3: I'm doing a lot for you, and it's because I

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Speaker 3: appreciate our friendship. But I want you to know this

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Speaker 3: is something I'm doing out of the kindness of my heart.

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Speaker 3: I'm not being paid to do it. Yeah, and uh,

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Speaker 3: I can't do all of this stuff on my own budget. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: weddings are expensive. Weddings are expensive. Yeah, I think we'll

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Speaker 3: be scandling it. Well, I think so too. You don't

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Speaker 3: owe her anything. No, you don't know her anything. You

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Speaker 3: don't have to be doing this. No, we do have

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Speaker 3: an update.

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Speaker 5: So first, thank you all for the feedback, which to comfort,

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Speaker 5: which comforted me and gave me the confidence I needed

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Speaker 5: to step down a sap. The morning after posting, I

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Speaker 5: messaged the groom, asking him to take a step back,

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Speaker 5: as he has made me and the other made of

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Speaker 5: honor feel uncomfortable.

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Speaker 3: Things escalated.

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Speaker 5: He was being very defensive, listing everything that he said

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Speaker 5: and did, appointing to me being in the wrong instead

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Speaker 5: of finding a way forward, and eventually apologized for making

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Speaker 5: me feel uncomfortable.

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Speaker 3: I did not respond to his apology.

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Speaker 5: In parallel, I messaged the bride and we agreed to

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Speaker 5: meet the next day. In the meantime, the groom must

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Speaker 5: have brought it up to the bride, as she texted

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Speaker 5: me letting me know that she heard things become tense.

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Speaker 3: She heard things became tense, and that we don't all

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Speaker 3: hate each other now.

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Speaker 5: I replied that this is the reason that I need

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Speaker 5: to doc to her. The bride and I met up

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Speaker 5: yesterday evening. I told her that I was flattered to

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Speaker 5: have been chosen as made of honor, but in hindsight

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Speaker 5: I should not have accepted. I explained that the situation

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Speaker 5: blew out of proportion and her fiance crossed the line.

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Speaker 5: He exhibited controlling behavior and.

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Speaker 3: Was downright disrespectful.

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Speaker 5: I shared that I can't be in the bridal party

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Speaker 5: if I'm not being treated with respect and if I

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Speaker 5: don't morally support the relationship. I told her that this

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Speaker 5: is not a breakup per se. I still want to

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Speaker 5: be friends with her, but that she deserves a maide

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Speaker 5: of honor who could fully be there for the two

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Speaker 5: of them. I also mentioned that the ball is now

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Speaker 5: in her court as to how our friendship moves forward

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Speaker 5: if she still wants me to be there at the wedding.

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Speaker 5: Her reaction was so underwhelming. She was smiling through and

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Speaker 5: saying it's okay. She said that her fiance talked to

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Speaker 5: her about the situation, mentioning that things escalated.

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Speaker 3: According to her, he was pretty shaken up.

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Speaker 5: No crap, I bet he forgot to mention that he

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Speaker 5: instigated all of it. I'm not sure if I expected

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Speaker 5: her to take accountability for her fiance's actions, but she

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Speaker 5: did not apologize for what he said. Nothing she seemed

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Speaker 5: so unfazed when I said he disrespected me. She did

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Speaker 5: not ask about the things that were said, did not

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Speaker 5: mention that she would speak with him either.

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Speaker 3: This speaks volumes to me.

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Speaker 5: I wouldn't want my friends to be disrespected by anyone,

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Speaker 5: let alone my spouse. She said that she understood my

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Speaker 5: decision and she sort of expected it because she has

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Speaker 5: never been in one bachelorette party that didn't end up

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Speaker 5: in drama. In terms of logistics, she had it all

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Speaker 5: figured out. She asked me not to cancel any hotel

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Speaker 5: room because her fiance will officially be joining the bachelorette

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Speaker 5: party anyway. He was initially supposed to travel with us,

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Speaker 5: but stay in different accommodations with a friend.

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Speaker 3: Because of the heated situation.

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Speaker 5: She opened up and said that she doesn't expect the

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Speaker 5: other maid of honor to even attend the wedding unless

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Speaker 5: there can be a resolution between her and the groom.

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Speaker 3: I was again flabbergasted.

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Speaker 5: I would have so many questions if two friends would

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Speaker 5: have a problem with my spouse at the same time

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Speaker 5: and would consider not coming to my wedding because of it.

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Speaker 5: I understand that she is marrying this man and decided

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Speaker 5: that her marriage takes precedence over the rest.

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Speaker 3: Fair enough, but I would.

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Speaker 5: Find this suspicious and use it as an opportunity to

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Speaker 5: dig deeper and get to the bottom of the situation.

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Speaker 5: I reiterated that I'm there for her, just not in

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Speaker 5: a maid of honor capacity. We left on good terms,

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Speaker 5: but I wouldn't be surprised if this marks the end

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Speaker 5: of a short lived friendship.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it was short and she like terrorized

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Speaker 3: you for her wedding. Yeah, it doesn't have to be

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Speaker 3: that long exactly. Don't always have to be forevers Yeah,

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Speaker 3: especially if this stuff happens.

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Speaker 5: I later called to the other maid of honor to

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Speaker 5: inform her about my decision. Turns out that she has

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Speaker 5: also been thinking of stepping down. By the way, you

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Speaker 5: should never step down, never back down away from listening

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Speaker 5: to us and more full episodes of stories just like

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Speaker 5: this one. We've got all these episodes on Spotify, I

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Speaker 5: R Radio, Apple podcasts.

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Speaker 3: Wherever you get your freaking podcast Audible, there's one. What else?

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Speaker 3: I learned that they have podcasts, Yeah, and we're on there.

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Speaker 3: What we are? I did not know wherever you get

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Speaker 3: your podcast? Just search?

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Speaker 5: Okay, story time and you'll find out for yourselves. Go look,

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Speaker 5: go double check. I might be wrong.

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Speaker 3: I hope you're right, but there is a little bit

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Speaker 3: more to this story. But yeah, what's going on with

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Speaker 3: this girl?

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Speaker 6: Man?

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Speaker 3: What's so going on?

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Speaker 5: That is really just the truth of it is Like,

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Speaker 5: you know, you could beat friends with someone, but conflict

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Speaker 5: in any relationship is really the biggest decider make or

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Speaker 5: break for real, because how you deal with conflict is

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Speaker 5: just so important. It's such a relief to be out

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Speaker 5: of this mess. I'm not great with heavy discussions, so

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Speaker 5: I appreciate every one of you for pushing me to

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Speaker 5: step down and.

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Speaker 3: Speak to the bride.

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Speaker 5: Asap edits, I canceled the hotel room and let the

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Speaker 5: bride know that she would need to book her own rooms.

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Speaker 5: She did not respond, but I later received a notification

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Speaker 5: that her fiance punted me and my husband out of

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Speaker 5: the whatsap wedding group.

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Speaker 3: Oh okay, well that's not that big of a deal.

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Speaker 1: Uh.

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Speaker 5: That served as a save the date for the civil wedding.

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Speaker 5: I later learned that the bride asked the other maid

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Speaker 5: of honor to step down.

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Speaker 3: Oh wow.

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Speaker 5: The bride asked the maid of honor to step down.

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Speaker 5: That's crazy. She was also aut invited to the wedding

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Speaker 5: and we do have some relevant comments. So Clara Mancer says,

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Speaker 5: sounds like the bride is too comfortable around drama. She

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Speaker 5: isn't curious about the details of how you were treated

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Speaker 5: and also doesn't seem to grasp the gravity the gravity

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Speaker 5: of the situation. If I were in her shoes, I

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Speaker 5: would be freaking out and apologizing for my fiance's behavior

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Speaker 5: and reconsidering the relationship.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I would be too. I'm still I absolutely so

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Speaker 3: embarrassed if like a partner treated my friends like.

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Speaker 5: This, right BOPI just says, say, I would want to

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Speaker 5: know exactly what went on and reevaluate. Either she is

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Speaker 5: complacent with his behavior. Either she turns a blind eye

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Speaker 5: because she doesn't want to face reality and jeopardize her relationship.

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Speaker 5: Crazy for Swayzee for twenty says, have you ever considered

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Speaker 5: that she already knows everything and just accepts it.

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Speaker 3: As being okay? Yeah, that's what I think what was happening.

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Speaker 5: I agree with everything you said, but all her responses

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Speaker 5: tell me that she knows what's going on and just

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Speaker 5: keeps picking him and ignoring the rest. That's at least

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Speaker 5: what it seemed like for me from what she wrote. Ope,

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Speaker 5: he says, yes, that is certainly likely. Maybe it also

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Speaker 5: makes her feel special that someone is fighting for her

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Speaker 5: and making it look as though he is putting her

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Speaker 5: needs before everything else.

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Speaker 3: And that is it the end of that story I

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Speaker 3: see in there. That's really crazy. I know.

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Speaker 5: That felt kind of like like psychotic in a way

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Speaker 5: where she's like, yeah, he disrespected me, and like he

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Speaker 5: was like seeing all this stuff. I doubt this was

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Speaker 5: her tone, but like the you know, ba blah blah blah,

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Speaker 5: she's doing all these crazy things and she's just like.

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Speaker 3: Okay, all right, that's okay, okay.

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Speaker 5: Like you are you having? I figured there would be drama.

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Speaker 5: Oh my god, what are they gonna do now? Because

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Speaker 5: they fired their other maid of honor?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and inspiring everyone left and right, which just crazy.

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Speaker 5: Just uninvited both of them to the wedding. How are

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Speaker 5: you gonna have a wedding? Give no one to plan

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Speaker 5: it anymore? No one wants to go to your running

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Speaker 5: because everyone likes you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, who's even gonna be there? My friends secretly

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Speaker 3: planned a party without anyone inviting me. Secret secrets are

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Speaker 3: no fun. Secret secrets hurts so much. I've been part

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Speaker 3: of a friendship group since I was thirteen. I'm nearly

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Speaker 3: thirty three now. Wow wow. There are seven us in total. Well,

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Speaker 3: some are closer to each other than others. We've kept

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Speaker 3: a group shot going for years. I've always seen them

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Speaker 3: as my oldest and my most meaningful friends, the kind

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Speaker 3: you assume will be in your life forever. By the way,

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Speaker 3: this comes from Chaotic Pumpkins and if you want to

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Speaker 3: smit your own stories, go to the rs slash Okay

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Speaker 3: storytime separate it. So this weekend I opened Instagram and

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Speaker 3: saw that five of the girls had gone on a

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Speaker 3: long weekend Hindu for one of the group's weddings. Uh oh.

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Speaker 3: I had absolutely no idea it was happening, no inviting,

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Speaker 3: no heads up, no mention at all. The only other

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Speaker 3: one not there as two kids, so I assumed she

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Speaker 3: couldn't go, but I was simply excluded. The whole thing

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Speaker 3: was planned behind my back. To be clear, I know

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Speaker 3: I haven't been the most active in the group chat recently.

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Speaker 3: I've been doing a PhD, and I even gave them

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Speaker 3: a heads up a few years ago that i'd be

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Speaker 3: less present for a while, but I still showed up

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Speaker 3: when it mattered. I traveled across the country for everyone's

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Speaker 3: thirtieth birthdays, and I've always backed them, even from a distance.

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Speaker 3: What's hurt the most isn't just missing the hen it's

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Speaker 3: the silence. Not one person said hey, just so you know,

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Speaker 3: or gave me a chance to understand. It just carried

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Speaker 3: on like everything was normal. After finding out, I spoke

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Speaker 3: to two of the girls, my closest friends. They were

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Speaker 3: shocked I wasn't included and admitted they were confused by

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Speaker 3: the bride's Rachel's decision. They told me there hadn't been

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Speaker 3: any falling out or issue from me, and they were

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Speaker 3: really upset to see how hurt I was. When I

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Speaker 3: said I was thinking of leaving the group chat and

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Speaker 3: cutting ties completely, unfollowing everyone stepping back, they got really

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Speaker 3: emotion and said they didn't want me to go, and

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Speaker 3: that felt extreme. But honestly, I don't know if I

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Speaker 3: can stay. I feel humiliated, like a spare part in

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Speaker 3: a friendship I thought I was still part of. The

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Speaker 3: trust feels broken. Part of me wants to just walk

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Speaker 3: away quietly, not to punish anyone, but to protect myself

376
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Speaker 3: and give myself the dignity of closure. The other part

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Speaker 3: of me is scared I'll look like the dramatic one

378
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Speaker 3: or regret walking away from twenty years of history. So

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Speaker 3: would I be the ale if I cut them all

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Speaker 3: off after this? Or should I just distance myself from

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Speaker 3: the bride? Since it sounds like she made the final decision,

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00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:40,439
Speaker 3: talk to her first. There's some elemal comments in an update.

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Speaker 3: Talk to her first. Yeah, wait a minute, Like, let's

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Speaker 3: talk to the bride. Let's find out what happened. Maybe

385
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Speaker 3: she'll say, I just didn't really think that we were

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Speaker 3: that close, and then you have your answer. But I

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Speaker 3: don't know if we necessarily need to like punish everyone

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Speaker 3: is the bride one of the friends.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, listen, you guys. You've been friends in a big

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Speaker 5: group of people. Yeah, twenty freaking years. Yeah, yes, this hurts. Yes,

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Speaker 5: that sucks to be excluded from a group of seven people.

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Speaker 3: But seven that sucks seven people. This suff's gonna happen.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, if you've been friends for twenty years, you can

394
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Speaker 5: talk about problems.

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Speaker 3: You can have a twenty minute conversation, you can have

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Speaker 3: literally twenty years at least equals a twenty minute copies

397
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Speaker 3: say chit chat about it. Let's have a chit chat.

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Speaker 3: I say, hey, I.

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Speaker 5: Mean, like, I doesn't understand it's your wedding, Like I

400
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,919
Speaker 5: doubt this is the only problem that has come up. Yeah,

401
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:42,080
Speaker 5: come on, come, that's just it does feel dramatic to

402
00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:44,520
Speaker 5: completely cut our off without even talking to her. Roll

403
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,679
Speaker 5: in the comments slinky malinky eah, sounds like you've not

404
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,160
Speaker 5: been around for a few years.

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Speaker 3: At this point. Your example of showing up was that

406
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:53,480
Speaker 3: when everyone turned thirty and you're now almost thirty three,

407
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Speaker 3: you also told them you won't be available for years.

408
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,360
Speaker 3: I don't see this as you being excluded so much

409
00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:02,000
Speaker 3: as either the following what she thought you set up

410
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:05,480
Speaker 3: as the perimeters you weren't going to be around or available,

411
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:08,399
Speaker 3: or the bride matching your energy. You don't put anything in,

412
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:11,399
Speaker 3: don't expect others to like, I understand what she's upset,

413
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,000
Speaker 3: to be sure, like, I don't think that she's in

414
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,440
Speaker 3: the wrong for being upset, but like, I think this

415
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:19,320
Speaker 3: is a conversation, not just a I'm gonna just like

416
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Speaker 3: f off and never see anyone again, just disappearing. I've

417
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:25,919
Speaker 3: had a very busy professional and personal times with school

418
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:29,119
Speaker 3: where kids, but I never told people, hey count me

419
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Speaker 3: out for years. Yeah, but when you get older, I

420
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:36,679
Speaker 3: mean friendships busy adjust especially with seven people. Yeah, that

421
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,960
Speaker 3: you did seems to be your choice, which is yours

422
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,359
Speaker 3: to make. But it seems like taking talking out of

423
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:44,000
Speaker 3: both sides of your mouth to make that choice and

424
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Speaker 3: then act shocked and betrayed when the others respected your boundary.

425
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:50,240
Speaker 3: I'm guessing it's a big misunderstanding that can be resolved

426
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:53,040
Speaker 3: by a phone call, not one to make the bride

427
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:55,760
Speaker 3: feel guilty or cause drama, but just to say I

428
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:57,560
Speaker 3: saw you all went away, and I hope you ought

429
00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,639
Speaker 3: to blast. I'm coming out of the weeds with the

430
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Speaker 3: school and would love to join you all again going forward.

431
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:06,160
Speaker 3: Obi says, Yes, this does sound like I said goodbye

432
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,840
Speaker 3: for a few years. So instead of seeing them every

433
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:11,320
Speaker 3: few months, it was more like twice a year. That's

434
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:15,640
Speaker 3: a big change. Yeah, we are all based in different cities.

435
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:18,800
Speaker 3: I do take some responsibility for this, but I will

436
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,119
Speaker 3: say I think being excluded from this event is a

437
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:24,679
Speaker 3: step too far for me. But definitely doing some thinking

438
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:28,919
Speaker 3: to work on this. Thank you for the advice. I

439
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:31,480
Speaker 3: am still thinking. The bride knew that this would cause

440
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,560
Speaker 3: a huge problem, and I need to understand if this

441
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:37,199
Speaker 3: was with bad intent, cowardice, or some other reason. She

442
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,160
Speaker 3: was aware this would cause a problem, which is why

443
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,000
Speaker 3: you talk to her. And if you find out that

444
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:44,520
Speaker 3: she's you know, sucky and did it because she wants

445
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:48,200
Speaker 3: to cause drama, then you know, yeah, that's p oh okay, Yeah,

446
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:49,919
Speaker 3: I don't want to be around this person. Give her

447
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:53,119
Speaker 3: a chance to thirty three. Maybe a group message is

448
00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:56,359
Speaker 3: a good shout thank you. Strong conclusion says it's not

449
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,680
Speaker 3: only the non invite, but the fact no one told you.

450
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,000
Speaker 3: You have to find out via social media or you

451
00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:03,920
Speaker 3: invited the wedding. Either way, I take a step back

452
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:06,680
Speaker 3: from everyone, even the two closest friends. Why didn't they

453
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,720
Speaker 3: tell you? Why I keep it a secret? O besays

454
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 3: this is exactly the main struggle. They have openly said

455
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:14,200
Speaker 3: they knew I would be upset, and think that's a

456
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:17,240
Speaker 3: big part why they couldn't tell me beforehand. I believe

457
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 3: I am invited to the wedding, but she's not sent

458
00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:21,639
Speaker 3: the invites out yet. I have told the two of

459
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:23,520
Speaker 3: them I need a bit of time away, and then

460
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:26,919
Speaker 3: I'm still in my gut reaction phase. They have apologized

461
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:29,359
Speaker 3: a lot, and one started crying when she thought I

462
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:31,800
Speaker 3: was cutting her off. So after this, I really don't

463
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:33,720
Speaker 3: want to do this with these two, but we definitely

464
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:35,440
Speaker 3: have things to work on. Yeah, I don't think we

465
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:36,520
Speaker 3: have to cut them off.

466
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:42,640
Speaker 5: This is dramatic as super like I don't like super dramatic.

467
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:45,440
Speaker 3: Like these girls are apologizing and saying like I'm so sorry,

468
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:49,560
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry. Yeah, it wasn't their decision. Yeah, like, yeah,

469
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:52,280
Speaker 3: maybe they should have told you, but again, like they

470
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:53,760
Speaker 3: didn't really have a say in whether or not you

471
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,919
Speaker 3: were invited. Yeah, Like that would just be starting drama

472
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,400
Speaker 3: on their behalf of being like, oh, by the way,

473
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:02,359
Speaker 3: this didn't invite you. You wouldn't tell I wouldn't tell a

474
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:04,879
Speaker 3: mutual friend that another mutual friend didn't invite them to

475
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:08,080
Speaker 3: a party. No, I just like I don't like, maybe

476
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,679
Speaker 3: you guys have different feelings. I just I'm like thinking

477
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,199
Speaker 3: of this, and I'm like, if I knew that my

478
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:15,359
Speaker 3: friend wasn't invited to a party, no, I'd be like

479
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:17,880
Speaker 3: I would maybe talk to the bride and say, hey,

480
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:19,720
Speaker 3: like why didn't you invite her? Orth? Yeah, I would

481
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:22,760
Speaker 3: get information, But I don't think I would immediately be like, girl,

482
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:25,040
Speaker 3: you weren't invited to this party and all of this

483
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:27,720
Speaker 3: like turmoil that OP is in right now, It's like,

484
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:31,200
Speaker 3: just talk to them, Yeah, just talk to them that

485
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 3: all of your questions will be answered. Yeah, folding it up?

486
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:38,399
Speaker 3: What is the DoD? Didn't the innocent friend read the

487
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,760
Speaker 3: email and text numbers? Did anyone ask hey, why isn't

488
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:45,360
Speaker 3: Susie coming? You were justified and feeling terribly hurt, which

489
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:48,200
Speaker 3: I still agree with. Sure, you would not be considered

490
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,840
Speaker 3: nail if you didn't want to continue the group relationship.

491
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:53,679
Speaker 3: He says. They did say that to each other, but

492
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:56,520
Speaker 3: never as a whole group. They felt bad about it,

493
00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:59,760
Speaker 3: but felt they couldn't do much about it. Disastrous, Gate says,

494
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 3: be Yes, after twenty years of friendship, they couldn't do anything,

495
00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:04,880
Speaker 3: not even so much as asked their other twenty year

496
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:07,720
Speaker 3: long friend, bride host. Why I think they could have

497
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:09,840
Speaker 3: done that? Yeah, I think they definitely could have talked

498
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 3: about it. Yeah, these are the weak excuses of backboneless people,

499
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,040
Speaker 3: And I'm so sorry they treated you like this. I

500
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 3: wouldn't feel like I want to be friends with people

501
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:21,439
Speaker 3: that treat me this way, Opie says, I have reminded

502
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:24,000
Speaker 3: them over the past couple of years, but absolutely agree

503
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:26,920
Speaker 3: I should have been more communicative. I didn't go into

504
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:29,119
Speaker 3: the nitty gritty in this post as I wanted to

505
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 3: be brief for more context. After speaking to my two friends,

506
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,439
Speaker 3: they were chatting about the fact I wasn't invited for

507
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:38,879
Speaker 3: months before the event. Oh, it was very conscious and

508
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:42,479
Speaker 3: discussed a lot, but usually only between two or three

509
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 3: people at a time. Apparently. I asked them both the question,

510
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,280
Speaker 3: what do you think my reaction would be when I

511
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:52,680
Speaker 3: found this out? And they both said absolutely devastated. More

512
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,840
Speaker 3: than anything, it's the fact that they didn't tell me

513
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 3: or talk to the bride about the repercussions of this

514
00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 3: on what I thought was a tight knit group. Oh,

515
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,960
Speaker 3: and absolutely feeling a little low as I'm in my

516
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:05,960
Speaker 3: final year, so taking that into account. But I also

517
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 3: thought they may have taken it into account as well,

518
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,879
Speaker 3: waiting a week to decide what to do. But here

519
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:14,600
Speaker 3: but appreciate the direct comments, thinking it may just be

520
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:16,439
Speaker 3: the bride I need to have a proper chat with

521
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:20,639
Speaker 3: and possibly ending a friendship. Yes, that's my point. I

522
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:23,200
Speaker 3: don't know if this is clear because I'm sleep deprived.

523
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:26,160
Speaker 3: My point is not that you cannot end this friendship.

524
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:28,720
Speaker 3: That is not my point. Friendships come and go. Sometimes

525
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,439
Speaker 3: you have a twenty year friendship and then you realize

526
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,879
Speaker 3: this person is no longer as close to you as

527
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:35,600
Speaker 3: you thought they were. My point is, because you've had

528
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,919
Speaker 3: a twenty year friendship, let's have a little chat before

529
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:41,119
Speaker 3: we end it all. Don't just go a wall. Absolutely,

530
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:45,560
Speaker 3: the bride made the decision go talk to her. Update.

531
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,399
Speaker 3: Since posting, I've spoken to a few people who know

532
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,320
Speaker 3: the group and situation well. Every single one of them

533
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:54,720
Speaker 3: was surprised, and most were very clear I should cut

534
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:57,000
Speaker 3: off the bride and possibly the others too. Just to

535
00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:00,359
Speaker 3: add some more context, I was a lot quieter about

536
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:03,639
Speaker 3: a year ago. I was doing my PhD and also

537
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:07,080
Speaker 3: going through a tough time in my personal life, dealing

538
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:10,800
Speaker 3: with some serious issues involving self harm and regular use.

539
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,440
Speaker 3: They all knew about this and had offered words of support.

540
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,240
Speaker 3: Over the last six months or so, I started chatting

541
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,879
Speaker 3: to them a bit more. Again, things felt pretty normal.

542
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:21,199
Speaker 3: I had a phone call with the bride where she

543
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 3: asked for wedding advice, and we also had a proper

544
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:26,359
Speaker 3: catch up I saw three of the others from the

545
00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:29,440
Speaker 3: group in person not long after. What makes this all

546
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:31,840
Speaker 3: harder to process is knowing that during these moments, when

547
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:34,919
Speaker 3: we were catching up and everything seemed fine, they already

548
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,919
Speaker 3: knew about the Hen weekend and didn't say a word.

549
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:42,480
Speaker 3: Since posting, I've quietly removed myself from the group chat

550
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:46,000
Speaker 3: and taken the burden and taken the bride off socials.

551
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:49,959
Speaker 3: She did message me saying she heard I was upset

552
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,199
Speaker 3: and was happy to chat, but to be honest, it

553
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:55,760
Speaker 3: felt more like damage control. If she wanted to talk honestly,

554
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:57,680
Speaker 3: there were plenty of chances to do that.

555
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:03,560
Speaker 6: Just just do it, Please, just talk to our hasn't

556
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:07,720
Speaker 6: done it yet, Let me talk to her, let me

557
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:09,880
Speaker 6: talk to talk tried, let me talk to her.

558
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 3: At this point, I've tried to understand why she would

559
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:14,639
Speaker 3: do this, and the only explanations I can land on

560
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 3: are she deliberately didn't want me to there and didn't

561
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 3: have the decency to be upfront about it. She felt

562
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:24,119
Speaker 3: awkward and avoided this situation entirely, or she didn't realize

563
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:26,359
Speaker 3: how hurtful it would be, though I find that hard

564
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:29,879
Speaker 3: to believe. Whatever the reason, it's caused a rift with

565
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:32,160
Speaker 3: some of my most important friendships and put us all

566
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:36,840
Speaker 3: in an incredibly uncomfortable situation. Shut up, I'm sorry, shut

567
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:40,200
Speaker 3: your mouths. I could be misunder misinterpreting the story, but

568
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:43,240
Speaker 3: it feels like there's a giant lack of communication. It's

569
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 3: saying whatever the reason, Yeah, I feel like we get it.

570
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:48,280
Speaker 3: I feel like we know the reason.

571
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 5: It's tramatics, true, dramatic.

572
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:57,520
Speaker 3: It's too dramatic. These people haven't come down. It's fine,

573
00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 3: it's okay. It's made it clear that this isn't the

574
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 3: kind of friendship I want to keep in my life.

575
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:05,160
Speaker 3: Two of the others still haven't acknowledged anything. I haven't

576
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 3: removed them yet. I'm just keeping my distance and taking

577
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:11,960
Speaker 3: time to process. By the way, you can process with

578
00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:14,919
Speaker 3: us by listening to full episodes of stories just like this.

579
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:18,960
Speaker 3: Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search up. Okay, storytime.

580
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:21,560
Speaker 3: But there is a little bit low to the story.

581
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 3: If this doesn't end with her frickin' talking to the

582
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:28,280
Speaker 3: freaking I feel like she's gonna be like, I just

583
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,640
Speaker 3: don't understand why she did this, and I guess there's

584
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:36,000
Speaker 3: no way I ever will uh and I'm gonna be upset.

585
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:39,040
Speaker 3: This whole thing has been a sharp wake up call.

586
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:42,960
Speaker 3: I thought things were back on solid ground. Clearly they weren't.

587
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:45,959
Speaker 3: Thanks again to everyone who took the time to comment.

588
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:49,000
Speaker 3: It really helped me get clear and act from a

589
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:53,960
Speaker 3: place that felt calm, not reactive. Relevant slash final comments

590
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 3: Lindon Lil blue balls not the ale. You don't have

591
00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 3: to cut them off completely, but maybe just quiet quit.

592
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:02,960
Speaker 3: This is bad advice. Don't make any effort if you

593
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 3: aren't getting reciprocal effort. Put the group chat on D

594
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:09,200
Speaker 3: and D and only reply to texts sent directly to you.

595
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:12,520
Speaker 3: Only answer calls. Don't make them checking on yourself. In

596
00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:14,960
Speaker 3: a month, are you happier than before? Are they making

597
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 3: more of an effort to include you? Have any of

598
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 3: the others even noticed you stepped back? Yeah? Let him

599
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:22,440
Speaker 3: put them on D and D. Go ahead and give

600
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 3: them some good day dungeons and Dragon. Ye, turn them

601
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 3: on to that.

602
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think so, you know, make some fun characters.

603
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:32,880
Speaker 5: They have to see each other because you have to

604
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 5: finish your campaign.

605
00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:36,280
Speaker 3: So, after a bit of thinking, Op says, I have

606
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 3: taken myself out of the group chat and don't think

607
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,400
Speaker 3: I can forgive the bride not making a big song

608
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:43,400
Speaker 3: and dance about it, but taking myself away from the

609
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:46,600
Speaker 3: situation and people involved. Those who want to remain in

610
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:48,880
Speaker 3: my life will let me know. I mean, they're like,

611
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:50,160
Speaker 3: two of them have already let you know.

612
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:53,000
Speaker 5: Gross, two of them have already let you know, o Pee,

613
00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 5: you're being gross right now.

614
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:58,880
Speaker 3: One of the gals I spoke to has messaged me

615
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,600
Speaker 3: several times or izing a catch up for this weekend

616
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:05,960
Speaker 3: and is planning to come visit. These questions to ask

617
00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 3: myself are really helpful. Thank you. I feel like after

618
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:10,920
Speaker 3: this there may be a couple of friends left from

619
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:13,120
Speaker 3: this group, but I've decided to focus on other friendships

620
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:16,280
Speaker 3: for the moment. And there you go, sure, sure, sure,

621
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 3: go ahead, go ahead, you silly goose. I again, like,

622
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:22,720
Speaker 3: it's totally fine, you don't want to be friends with

623
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:26,040
Speaker 3: these people, but like one one, come the just one

624
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 3: for twenty years, twenty minutes for twenty years. Hey it's Sam,

625
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:32,400
Speaker 3: I'm your og host.

626
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:34,080
Speaker 1: Here bring it back to the stories. But here's three

627
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:35,320
Speaker 1: minutes fads from our sponsor.

628
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:39,520
Speaker 5: My friend exposed my past identity and now I'm worried

629
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:45,560
Speaker 5: about the aftermath exposed. So I am, but I come

630
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 5: from a culture where being was dangerous for my safety.

631
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 5: I immigrated to a much more welcoming country. When I

632
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 5: was twenty two, I changed my name and began going

633
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 5: on estrogen. I am much happier as when I met

634
00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:59,480
Speaker 5: people for the first time. They assume that I am

635
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 5: assistant femail.

636
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Throwaway zero zero zero.

637
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,440
Speaker 5: Zero zero zero zero one And if you want to

638
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:09,360
Speaker 5: submit your own stories, go to there our slash okay,

639
00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:10,440
Speaker 5: storytime Supreddit.

640
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:11,040
Speaker 6: So.

641
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:13,600
Speaker 5: I have a small group of friends that I made

642
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:15,960
Speaker 5: three years ago. One of these friends has a rather

643
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:19,480
Speaker 5: interesting hobby. She enjoys going on social media apps and

644
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:21,880
Speaker 5: basically learning everything she can about a person.

645
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:25,080
Speaker 3: Okay, so that's what we call stalker. My guys, I'm.

646
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:26,840
Speaker 5: Not really sure why she does this, as it seems

647
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:29,239
Speaker 5: very weird to me, but she basically told me that

648
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 5: she does it because of the trauma that she has

649
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 5: from her high school friends who basically manipulated and bullied

650
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 5: her into thinking that she forgot important.

651
00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:37,360
Speaker 3: Info about them.

652
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 5: Okay, So I feel like if we're doing something because

653
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 5: of trauma and it's like not the best thing, I

654
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 5: feel like we can like recognize it, yeah, and we

655
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:47,440
Speaker 5: can try to work on that and not just keep

656
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 5: going with it.

657
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:50,640
Speaker 3: Feel like I feel like that's the move.

658
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:54,479
Speaker 5: Ever since then, she goes on social media or even

659
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:58,680
Speaker 5: listens to gossips about almost everyone that she knows, just

660
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 5: so she never misses a thing. I don't really understand it,

661
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:04,560
Speaker 5: but as someone with trauma myself, I understand that we

662
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:06,480
Speaker 5: handle things differently than what's normal.

663
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:08,880
Speaker 3: I haven't told my friends that I'm trying.

664
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 5: I understand that it seems wrong, but I just generally

665
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 5: don't trust people with that kind of information. It's not

666
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:16,239
Speaker 5: that I don't think that they will be supportive. I

667
00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 5: just don't think that they need to know that. I'm

668
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 5: a little afraid of our dynamic changing, as I love

669
00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 5: them a lot and I can't stand to lose any

670
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:27,520
Speaker 5: more loved ones. I know that if it comes to

671
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:29,880
Speaker 5: a point where it's needed, I will tell them, but

672
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:30,920
Speaker 5: right now.

673
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:32,240
Speaker 3: It's not important information.

674
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 5: So this friend, Amelia fake name, was acting really weird

675
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:38,800
Speaker 5: around me. It felt like she was bringing up or

676
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,640
Speaker 5: talking about similar things that I haven't told anyone about,

677
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:45,800
Speaker 5: not directly, but she'll say things like this example, I

678
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:48,640
Speaker 5: heard about this place called a restaurant I went to

679
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:52,520
Speaker 5: when I was younger. The food seems interesting there. I

680
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 5: thought I was just going crazy at first, as the

681
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:55,960
Speaker 5: internet is free.

682
00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:58,240
Speaker 3: And she is allowed to see things from my hometown

683
00:32:58,280 --> 00:32:59,480
Speaker 3: without being linked to me.

684
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 6: See.

685
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 5: Oh, I get it, she's talking. Oh pe, I know

686
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:08,920
Speaker 5: she's doing all this, doing this deep dive. She's gonna

687
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:16,440
Speaker 5: find out, she's gonna expose. Oh no, that is until yesterday.

688
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:19,920
Speaker 5: She was talking to our friends about baby names as

689
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:23,000
Speaker 5: she is pregnant and brought up my freaking.

690
00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:28,720
Speaker 3: Passed away name. That's not cool, that's not cool, and

691
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:29,960
Speaker 3: this is psychotic one.

692
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,760
Speaker 5: I'm sorry for it to be learning about this person

693
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 5: and then just slowly be like.

694
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, giving out all this. Oh you.

695
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:41,920
Speaker 5: We made eye contact for a bit as my friends

696
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 5: gushed on how cute it sounded, but all agreed it

697
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:47,000
Speaker 5: doesn't fit her ethnicity.

698
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 3: She moved on and never brought it up again.

699
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 5: I don't feel anything towards that name, nor do I

700
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,480
Speaker 5: feel like she isn't allowed to name her baby after

701
00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 5: if it after it, if she so desires to. But

702
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 5: it feels like a twisted form of power play. I'm

703
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:05,560
Speaker 5: not sure how she found it, but I don't think

704
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:08,279
Speaker 5: that she'll use it against me nor out me, as

705
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:12,000
Speaker 5: she's not that type of person. I feel like maybe

706
00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:15,359
Speaker 5: she's just trying to hint that she knows. Right now,

707
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:17,359
Speaker 5: I just want to call her out on what she's

708
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:19,600
Speaker 5: doing and tell her that she needs to stop, as

709
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:20,000
Speaker 5: it is.

710
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:21,040
Speaker 3: Making me uncomfortable.

711
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:23,879
Speaker 5: But again, I'm not sure if this is the right move,

712
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:26,800
Speaker 5: as it is her coping mechanism for her trauma.

713
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:31,600
Speaker 3: But here's the thing. You've got trauma too, babe. Yeah,

714
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:36,400
Speaker 3: you've got lady being creepystly like you've got trauma.

715
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 5: You move to another country, like I'm sure there were

716
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 5: more reasons besides it just because of like your your transition,

717
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 5: but that's a big part of it.

718
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:47,759
Speaker 3: That's an insanely personal thing.

719
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:51,319
Speaker 5: You should not just like you are allowed to set

720
00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 5: boundaries even if it involves or like has to I

721
00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:59,760
Speaker 5: don't know, intertwine with someone else's trauma who.

722
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:01,759
Speaker 3: Cares about her trauma. Yeah, you're just going to be

723
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:03,399
Speaker 3: an awful You don't get to be an a whole

724
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,319
Speaker 3: just because you have trauma. No, it's not explains why

725
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 3: you do it. And also she's using it as an

726
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 3: explanation like my trauma. That's why I do this. I

727
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:12,359
Speaker 3: don't care.

728
00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:15,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, it kind of makes me feel like it feels

729
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:16,840
Speaker 5: like you're a liar, feels like you're a liar, feels

730
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 5: like I literally actually if I care that much less

731
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 5: because you're being obic. Consensus from the comments, not the

732
00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:32,200
Speaker 5: a whole comments are checkered. Some say to ignore Amelia,

733
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 5: Some say to ask her privately what her deal was.

734
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:37,879
Speaker 5: Some say to keep her distance with her. Some say

735
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:44,799
Speaker 5: Amelia is an effing creepy person. Some notable comments not

736
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:47,279
Speaker 5: the a whole just keep ignoring this person. She is

737
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:50,760
Speaker 5: not a friend, and I call her bowl on her trauma.

738
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:54,560
Speaker 5: This is her excuse other than just being a nosey nelly.

739
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:57,399
Speaker 5: If the trauma were true, she would not be doing

740
00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:01,040
Speaker 5: the same thing. Your identity is no one's but yours

741
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:03,319
Speaker 5: to disclose if you choose to do so, in your

742
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:06,160
Speaker 5: own way, and to whom you would choose to do so.

743
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:09,400
Speaker 5: I don't think confronting this person is the way to

744
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:13,120
Speaker 5: do it. Some comments from ope though, I don't think

745
00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:15,400
Speaker 5: it will affect my friendships with them, but it's a

746
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:17,480
Speaker 5: feeling that's hard to explain. I don't want them to

747
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:19,839
Speaker 5: know because I want to seem like a normal girl,

748
00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:22,520
Speaker 5: if that makes sense. I'm worried that by telling them

749
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:25,920
Speaker 5: everything will change. It's also not a very common name

750
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 5: in my culture, and I moved to a more western

751
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:32,200
Speaker 5: country where unless I told her or again she found it,

752
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:36,239
Speaker 5: nobody would know. Nobody would know it. It's hard to

753
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:39,279
Speaker 5: explain without directly outing myself on the internet. And we

754
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 5: do have an update, but before that, it's like, yeah,

755
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 5: it's understandable that you would feel like a weird way

756
00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:49,520
Speaker 5: about it, like she's trying to out you, and that

757
00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 5: is never Yeah, it's just it's it's talking about your personal.

758
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 3: History us very dangerous.

759
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it's it's discussing your personal history like without

760
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:05,440
Speaker 5: your involvement, and that's just weird for anyone, even if

761
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:09,240
Speaker 5: someone was like I don't know, talking so much about

762
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:11,719
Speaker 5: like oh, like remember how you did soccer when you

763
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:13,719
Speaker 5: were a kid, and like talking all about this, like

764
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 5: why are you bringing that up? Like this is just

765
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:19,880
Speaker 5: weird and like random, very different levels of the example

766
00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:20,719
Speaker 5: that I brought up.

767
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:23,919
Speaker 3: This is what's happening. But it feels like like it's

768
00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:26,960
Speaker 3: just like why are you why do you know that?

769
00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:31,640
Speaker 5: First of all, and second of all, hey, quit it

770
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:36,239
Speaker 5: something gross, knock it off it. This is about three

771
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:39,160
Speaker 5: months later. First of all, wow, I just want to

772
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:41,799
Speaker 5: thank everyone for the nice comments and messages that were

773
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 5: really sent to me. I'll be honest, the last three

774
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:45,839
Speaker 5: to four months have been so difficult for me, and

775
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 5: the kind words.

776
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:50,000
Speaker 3: I received really helped. On to the updates.

777
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:52,520
Speaker 5: Amelia gave birth to a healthy baby boy, and no,

778
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:55,080
Speaker 5: she did not hame him after my passed away name.

779
00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:58,080
Speaker 5: I don't think I would have cared anyway because one,

780
00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 5: like I said, I don't feel any attachment or try

781
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:02,360
Speaker 5: with that name, and to it's her loss if she

782
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:05,960
Speaker 5: names her son that because she is white as snow

783
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:09,640
Speaker 5: and I am an Arab. Regardless, I still felt happy

784
00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:12,640
Speaker 5: for her and celebrated her son because she was still

785
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:16,279
Speaker 5: my friend. Second, there's a trend on TikTok or Instagram

786
00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:19,080
Speaker 5: where a person a will record person B and film

787
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 5: The reaction got Carl sentence, I'm so hungry I could

788
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 5: eat this name.

789
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:26,360
Speaker 3: You freaking called.

790
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:29,839
Speaker 5: I literally knew it, of course called it because you're

791
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:31,479
Speaker 5: digging up on someone's start.

792
00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:33,279
Speaker 3: And she saw this trend and she's like, oh my.

793
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:37,719
Speaker 5: God, perfect opportunity for me and my trauma to go

794
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:41,920
Speaker 5: like snoop on other people's past I don't like this person.

795
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:44,319
Speaker 5: For those who might not know the name that they

796
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 5: will say tends to be the name of a person.

797
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:50,759
Speaker 5: That person b has a strong past width, like an

798
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 5: ex or a passed away friend or something. The one

799
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:54,719
Speaker 5: I've seen is just like a random name from like

800
00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:57,480
Speaker 5: a yearbook or something, and they're just like, why do

801
00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 5: you know that name?

802
00:38:58,680 --> 00:38:59,279
Speaker 3: There's no way.

803
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:02,200
Speaker 5: He and my friend group went over to my best

804
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:04,400
Speaker 5: friend's house for a girl's night to spend time with

805
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:07,879
Speaker 5: Amelia since she's been busy with her son. They did

806
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,440
Speaker 5: the TikTok trend, and since I don't really frequent social

807
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:13,640
Speaker 5: media nor post myself, I mostly watched and chit chatted

808
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:16,839
Speaker 5: with my other friends, who also weren't super into trends.

809
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:20,759
Speaker 5: We were having fun till Amelia pointed the phone at

810
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,239
Speaker 5: me and said, hey, my name.

811
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:27,000
Speaker 3: I'm so hungry I could eat father's name. I was

812
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 3: beyond shocked.

813
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:31,200
Speaker 5: My passed away name has no meaning to me, but

814
00:39:31,239 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 5: my father's like a knife twisted into me.

815
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:36,840
Speaker 3: Hearing his name made me panic.

816
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,640
Speaker 5: I guess my other friends noticed and told Amelia to

817
00:39:40,719 --> 00:39:44,880
Speaker 5: stop and delete the video. I basically dissociated during the argument,

818
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:48,160
Speaker 5: but from what my friends told me after, Amlia claims

819
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 5: that it was just a joke and a trend that

820
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:53,359
Speaker 5: people do. I feel fire inside of me right now.

821
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:56,160
Speaker 5: I hate this one I so much. She then went

822
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:58,200
Speaker 5: on to claim that I was in the wrong and

823
00:39:58,440 --> 00:39:59,920
Speaker 5: outed me to my friends.

824
00:40:00,719 --> 00:40:04,280
Speaker 3: Oh wow, you really cemented yourself as in the wrong.

825
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:09,440
Speaker 5: There who luckily didn't care. Good They're not evil like

826
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:10,400
Speaker 5: they were.

827
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:11,560
Speaker 3: Accepting as I had hoped.

828
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:15,080
Speaker 5: She basically got punted out of the house after a

829
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:17,480
Speaker 5: long screaming match, and my friends told me that she

830
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 5: wasn't welcome in the friend group anymore after what she

831
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:23,440
Speaker 5: had thanked God good, Oh my gosh, I feel violent

832
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:26,440
Speaker 5: right now. I felt awful about this, as she was

833
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:28,680
Speaker 5: friends with them longer than I was, and felt like

834
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:32,080
Speaker 5: I was ruining things. They assured me that I didn't

835
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:35,360
Speaker 5: and they accepted me. I apologized for not telling them sooner,

836
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 5: and they understood that it was my secret to tell. Yeah,

837
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:40,400
Speaker 5: you don't even have to tell, like you know, you

838
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:41,360
Speaker 5: don't know anyone.

839
00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:44,719
Speaker 3: No, no, coming out, not at all, not at all.

840
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:49,160
Speaker 5: Emilia did end up posting the video oh and vaguely

841
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:52,879
Speaker 5: posted about me and the rest of the group. It

842
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,600
Speaker 5: got taken down after my best friend confronted her and

843
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:58,120
Speaker 5: forced her to and deleted the videos, but the damage

844
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 5: was already done and a lot more people. But on

845
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:04,680
Speaker 5: the brighter side, I never really got questioned by those

846
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:05,960
Speaker 5: mutual friends of Amelia.

847
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:08,839
Speaker 3: So that's good. By the way, what else would be

848
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 3: so good. Something else would be really really good is

849
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:13,120
Speaker 3: if you.

850
00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:18,799
Speaker 5: Check us out on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, whatever your

851
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:22,320
Speaker 5: favorite podcast app is, because we've got full episodes or

852
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:24,120
Speaker 5: stories just like this one.

853
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:26,560
Speaker 3: We've got so many of them, so many.

854
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:29,320
Speaker 5: Just search Okay storytime and you'll see what I'm talking about,

855
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 5: you'll see if you don't believe me, because I'm known

856
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:34,480
Speaker 5: to lie about these kinds of things. Guys, you have

857
00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:38,319
Speaker 5: to check to see that I'm I'm being honest, because

858
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:42,120
Speaker 5: I might not be, but you have to exactly exactly and.

859
00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:44,759
Speaker 3: There is a little bit more into the story. Any

860
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:49,560
Speaker 3: final thoughts. Yeah, this girl sucks. Yes, your friends clearly

861
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:52,319
Speaker 3: like you over them. Don't be in the frame of

862
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:56,520
Speaker 3: mind of like, oh I ruined the French. No, you exist.

863
00:41:56,719 --> 00:42:00,919
Speaker 3: They chose that she exists as an evil person. Yeah,

864
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:05,480
Speaker 3: and her friends realized that she sucks, and so they crowd. Yeah,

865
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:10,080
Speaker 3: that's not your fault. She sucks absolutely, absolutely, and there's

866
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:12,360
Speaker 3: no two ways about it. Nope, that's all my thoughts.

867
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:14,040
Speaker 3: I agree.

868
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:17,600
Speaker 5: After that, we never really heard or paid any attention

869
00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:20,640
Speaker 5: to her again. I finally started therapy, and my therapist

870
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:22,839
Speaker 5: is the one who suggested to update you all as

871
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:26,160
Speaker 5: some form of closure. She said, So once again, thank

872
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,440
Speaker 5: you read it for all the kind words and messages,

873
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:31,719
Speaker 5: and hopefully nothing else this bad happens again. And from

874
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:35,840
Speaker 5: the comments and their consensus, Amelia sucks and the TikTok

875
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:40,160
Speaker 5: trends suck or TikTok trends in general suck. Notable comments,

876
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:44,319
Speaker 5: three guys say that they know what she's like and

877
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:47,279
Speaker 5: that this was the last boulder that broke.

878
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:50,880
Speaker 3: The camel's back. Yeah. Absolutely, and that is the end

879
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:51,759
Speaker 3: of that story.

880
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:54,400
Speaker 5: You know. Shout out to the therapist for suggesting that

881
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:56,480
Speaker 5: you finished that story, because then we get to read it.

882
00:42:56,680 --> 00:42:59,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, we get to hate on this, write it now. Yeah,

883
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:03,280
Speaker 3: she's for you. She's she's she's gross, gross like, actually

884
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:05,400
Speaker 3: she's stinky. I can smell her from here. Yeah, and

885
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:11,080
Speaker 3: it's it's ree caged. She's smell like rotten rotten food.

886
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:14,360
Speaker 3: It's a bad smell. I don't Yeah, No, she's stuck,

887
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:19,280
Speaker 3: she s. I hope that she gets what's coming to her. Yeah, freeze,

888
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:21,440
Speaker 3: because she's gonna push all of her friends away by

889
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:22,840
Speaker 3: being an awful person.

890
00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:27,960
Speaker 2: My friends told me to shut my kid up. I'm

891
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:29,399
Speaker 2: distancing myself from her.

892
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:31,000
Speaker 1: How about you shut up?

893
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 3: That's right.

894
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:35,000
Speaker 2: I thirty five female and my husband thirty six smele

895
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:38,000
Speaker 2: I have a five year old daughter. Recently, she found

896
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:41,800
Speaker 2: our wedding album and has been absolutely obsessed with weddings

897
00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:44,839
Speaker 2: and everything to do with them. She's been asking us

898
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:48,080
Speaker 2: a bunch of questions, For example, why we got married.

899
00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:51,400
Speaker 2: We've just been answering that we love each other a

900
00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:53,879
Speaker 2: lot and thought it was right for us. By the way,

901
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:56,440
Speaker 2: this comes from my kid is a chatterbox five and

902
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:58,120
Speaker 2: if you want to smit your own stories, go to

903
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:01,120
Speaker 2: our slash okay story times up at it. Recently, a

904
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:04,240
Speaker 2: friend of ours invited us to their six year wedding

905
00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:07,239
Speaker 2: anniversary party. The friend who was hosting the party and

906
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:10,720
Speaker 2: I are a part of a pretty large female friendship

907
00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:14,480
Speaker 2: group that started in our law school days. All of

908
00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:17,239
Speaker 2: us are either married, with children, engaged or in a

909
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 2: relationship with some sorts. All this will be perfect for

910
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:22,560
Speaker 2: the kid to join, because kid's like cute all about

911
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:24,840
Speaker 2: weddings right now, it's cute.

912
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:25,359
Speaker 1: Ah.

913
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:28,680
Speaker 2: Mandy thirty five female, is a part of this friendship

914
00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:32,399
Speaker 2: group and is in a relationship with Bass thirty eight male.

915
00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:35,719
Speaker 2: Mandy and Bass have been together for almost eight years now.

916
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:39,200
Speaker 2: For the past five Mandy has been expressing to us

917
00:44:39,239 --> 00:44:41,799
Speaker 2: that she really wants to get married, but Baz is

918
00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:45,919
Speaker 2: very avoidant about it, to the point when she's brought

919
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:48,400
Speaker 2: it up, he just says, it's just a piece of paper,

920
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 2: and I don't need the government's approval to love you.

921
00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:54,400
Speaker 1: Don't you want to make it official official?

922
00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:58,560
Speaker 2: Despite us gently suggesting that he might be unserious about

923
00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:01,800
Speaker 2: her and that they if they have different views on marriage,

924
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:04,719
Speaker 2: they shouldn't be together, she insists that they are meant

925
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:08,239
Speaker 2: to be and that he'll come to his senses soon.

926
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:11,680
Speaker 2: At the party, all of us couples and kids were invited.

927
00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:14,720
Speaker 2: My daughter was over the moon about all the wedding stuff.

928
00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:18,280
Speaker 2: Mandy eventually strikes up a conversation with my daughter about

929
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:21,880
Speaker 2: school and such. My kid notices Bas and Mandy together

930
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 2: and asks if they're married, why they aren't married, and

931
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:28,200
Speaker 2: when they'll get married in a very awkward when will

932
00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:30,440
Speaker 2: you well Wiggs type.

933
00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:32,280
Speaker 1: Manner Benvilville Bewiggs.

934
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:36,080
Speaker 2: I was nearby and overheard the conversation and immediately tried

935
00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:38,880
Speaker 2: to change the subject. I apologize as I knew it

936
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:41,719
Speaker 2: was a touchy subject for Mandy. I made her apologize

937
00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:43,960
Speaker 2: to Mandy for being nosy, but when she kind of

938
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:46,359
Speaker 2: snaps back at my daughter saying, well, we aren't married

939
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:49,280
Speaker 2: because I truly love him and I'm not a gold

940
00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:54,360
Speaker 2: digger lol. Some context, my husband is very successful architect

941
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 2: and his family comes from some help some wealth. My

942
00:45:57,040 --> 00:45:59,319
Speaker 2: family is the opposite, with me being in the first

943
00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:02,319
Speaker 2: generation law. I had opened up to Mandy in the

944
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 2: past that I was worried to meet my husband's family

945
00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:06,840
Speaker 2: in case they thought I was just with him for

946
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:10,040
Speaker 2: his money. Got nervous about what people thought once they

947
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:13,680
Speaker 2: knew I didn't originally come from wealth. I love my husband,

948
00:46:13,960 --> 00:46:16,319
Speaker 2: have a great relationship with this family, and I'm very

949
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:19,040
Speaker 2: successful as in my field as well. Yeah, she like

950
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:22,200
Speaker 2: made her own build to law is not that easy, guys.

951
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:25,560
Speaker 2: You got here, But I knew the comment was directed

952
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:29,399
Speaker 2: at me she is the bread winner in a relationship

953
00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:32,440
Speaker 2: and has made snarky comments to me before about the

954
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:34,919
Speaker 2: size of my ring and how big it looks too

955
00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:38,040
Speaker 2: big and too greedy, and how she will opt for

956
00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:41,040
Speaker 2: a different style when she and Baz get married. She

957
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:44,160
Speaker 2: even implied that my husband is unattractive and made a

958
00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:47,160
Speaker 2: comment that only got pregnant early into the marriage because

959
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:51,000
Speaker 2: I wanted to steal that generational wealth down with the

960
00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:54,960
Speaker 2: baby when I announced my pregnancy. Each time I kind

961
00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:58,600
Speaker 2: of laughed it off and moved on, except the last comment,

962
00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:01,560
Speaker 2: which I shut down hard kind of scared her out

963
00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:05,040
Speaker 2: of saying anything else. I'll tell this party everyone else

964
00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:09,040
Speaker 2: there overheard the conversation and knew the contexts of the comment,

965
00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:12,440
Speaker 2: and the room just kind of went silent and awkward.

966
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:14,600
Speaker 2: It was the end of the party, so we kind

967
00:47:14,600 --> 00:47:17,000
Speaker 2: of just left and say goodbye to the host. This

968
00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 2: was about two days ago. Today, she sent me a

969
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:22,279
Speaker 2: message saying people were texting her that she what she

970
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:25,680
Speaker 2: said wasn't cool, that she should apologize. She gave a

971
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 2: half hearted butt apology and said that she probably wouldn't

972
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:33,799
Speaker 2: have said anything if I had just shut my kid

973
00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:34,360
Speaker 2: up earlier.

974
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:38,000
Speaker 3: And this is basically your fault.

975
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:38,759
Speaker 1: It's my fault.

976
00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:41,640
Speaker 3: Shouldn't have had a kid that was interested in the weddings.

977
00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:46,239
Speaker 1: She's just jealous of your entire lifestyle and the fact

978
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:48,040
Speaker 1: that it's a little kid.

979
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:50,160
Speaker 3: Dude, Yeah, it's a little kid.

980
00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:52,080
Speaker 1: You got, you know, get a little kid getting under

981
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:54,680
Speaker 1: your skin. You're pathetic to that.

982
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:58,440
Speaker 2: I responded to not ever crap talk about my kid,

983
00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:00,960
Speaker 2: and that I wanted space from her, and that this

984
00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:04,319
Speaker 2: is the straw that broke the camel's back, as it

985
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:06,760
Speaker 2: was said to my daughter. I told the other friends

986
00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:09,239
Speaker 2: about the text, and thankfully they backed me up and

987
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:10,040
Speaker 2: told her she.

988
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:11,120
Speaker 3: Was being a witch.

989
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:14,480
Speaker 2: I think they were riding her so hard because a

990
00:48:14,480 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 2: lot of the friend group were also first generational students

991
00:48:17,719 --> 00:48:21,680
Speaker 2: with equally successful partners. She sent a follow up apology

992
00:48:21,719 --> 00:48:24,840
Speaker 2: that was slightly more sincere and has asked me to

993
00:48:24,880 --> 00:48:28,839
Speaker 2: get people off her back. My husband is equally as mad,

994
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:31,760
Speaker 2: but said to maybe cut her a little sight because

995
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:34,839
Speaker 2: she is in such a crap place in her relationship

996
00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:37,520
Speaker 2: and she is just projecting out of fear. The comment

997
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:40,040
Speaker 2: really hurt my feelings, but I knew that she was

998
00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:42,279
Speaker 2: in a tough place with Baz, and I probably could

999
00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:43,960
Speaker 2: have controlled my daughter a little earlier.

1000
00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:45,239
Speaker 3: So why am I the a hole?

1001
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:49,120
Speaker 2: No, you're asking the question, should I have controlled my

1002
00:48:49,239 --> 00:48:53,000
Speaker 2: daughter not to ask if a couple were married and

1003
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:55,240
Speaker 2: why they weren't married, and being curious about a couple

1004
00:48:55,239 --> 00:48:55,880
Speaker 2: not being married.

1005
00:48:56,040 --> 00:48:59,319
Speaker 1: It's literally like a five year old? What's wrong with that? Yeah,

1006
00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:02,080
Speaker 1: the fact that that triggered you to get upset at

1007
00:49:02,120 --> 00:49:03,720
Speaker 1: a little kid, like why aren't you married?

1008
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 3: What? Is she the a hole?

1009
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:07,359
Speaker 1: No Ope, he's not the a hole. The one thing

1010
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 1: I was gonna say is I don't like what the

1011
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:12,799
Speaker 1: husband said, like, oh, cut her some slack. No, that

1012
00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:15,600
Speaker 1: doesn't give it her. That doesn't give an excuse for

1013
00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:19,279
Speaker 1: her to be, you know, bashing you calling out your kid.

1014
00:49:19,760 --> 00:49:22,120
Speaker 3: Maybe cut some slack. I don't. I don't think that's

1015
00:49:22,160 --> 00:49:23,120
Speaker 3: bad because.

1016
00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:26,120
Speaker 1: Sorry that your relationship sucks. Maybe you should fix that.

1017
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:29,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's just coming from a bad place. She's just jealous.

1018
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:32,680
Speaker 2: You got a good opie update. I originally wasn't going

1019
00:49:32,680 --> 00:49:35,080
Speaker 2: to update on the situation because I was honestly just

1020
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:37,200
Speaker 2: gonna ghost Mandy for a while and just forget about

1021
00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:39,440
Speaker 2: the whole thing. But I read some of the comments

1022
00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:41,719
Speaker 2: and decided to talk to my daughter. My husband and

1023
00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:44,480
Speaker 2: I set her down and talked to her about there

1024
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:47,480
Speaker 2: are many types of relationships because there are many types

1025
00:49:47,480 --> 00:49:49,680
Speaker 2: of people. We told her some people want to get married,

1026
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:53,080
Speaker 2: some don't, and that's okay, and how getting married isn't

1027
00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:55,920
Speaker 2: just about a wedding, it's a big commitment to another person.

1028
00:49:56,560 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 3: We also said that people have.

1029
00:49:58,040 --> 00:50:01,680
Speaker 2: Long and happy relationships without getting married and that that

1030
00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:05,040
Speaker 2: isn't something to look down on people for. We said

1031
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:07,319
Speaker 2: that it's ultimately her choice to decide if she ever

1032
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:09,319
Speaker 2: wants to get married in the future, and we would

1033
00:50:09,320 --> 00:50:12,600
Speaker 2: support her no matter what. We then explain that being

1034
00:50:12,640 --> 00:50:15,760
Speaker 2: curious and asking questions is a good thing. The marriage

1035
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:18,640
Speaker 2: and weddings can be very personal for a lot of people,

1036
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:20,680
Speaker 2: and if they don't want to talk about it, to

1037
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:24,080
Speaker 2: respect that. You seem to understand and still loves weddings

1038
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:27,000
Speaker 2: and looks at my husband's and I weddings off album often,

1039
00:50:27,560 --> 00:50:31,520
Speaker 2: but thankfully chilled out a little bit. I was still

1040
00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:34,920
Speaker 2: a bit confused on what to do about Mandy, as

1041
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:38,160
Speaker 2: I had some mixed opinions in the comments. I get

1042
00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:40,680
Speaker 2: a few that's stuck with me, asking why we are

1043
00:50:40,719 --> 00:50:43,799
Speaker 2: even friends and if she even likes me. I didn't

1044
00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:46,399
Speaker 2: want to confess the issue again, but in the past

1045
00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:49,439
Speaker 2: few days, I found out I'm pregnant with a second kid.

1046
00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:50,200
Speaker 1: Congrats.

1047
00:50:50,320 --> 00:50:53,960
Speaker 2: After the initial joy with my husband subsided a little,

1048
00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:57,640
Speaker 2: I got sad thinking about this drama and thinking about

1049
00:50:57,640 --> 00:51:01,800
Speaker 2: how only wanted people around me wholeheartedly supported me. I

1050
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:04,040
Speaker 2: ended up sending a message to Mandy asking to meet

1051
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 2: me up for coffee. When I met her, I told

1052
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 2: her what We had been friends for a long time,

1053
00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:11,840
Speaker 2: but her past comments about me hurt. I apologized for

1054
00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:14,080
Speaker 2: my daughter at the party, but that didn't make her

1055
00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:17,879
Speaker 2: comment okay. I also apologize if I ever came off

1056
00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:21,520
Speaker 2: to her as being judgmental or unapproving of her relationship

1057
00:51:21,560 --> 00:51:23,920
Speaker 2: with Bass, that I only wanted her to be happy,

1058
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:27,719
Speaker 2: and if she is, I completely support her. I then

1059
00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:30,040
Speaker 2: told her about the pregnancy and said that if she

1060
00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:32,880
Speaker 2: didn't like me, that was her prerogative, but I only

1061
00:51:32,920 --> 00:51:35,040
Speaker 2: wanted people around me that support me in this period

1062
00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:38,080
Speaker 2: of life. She took it in and actually apologized for

1063
00:51:38,120 --> 00:51:41,799
Speaker 2: her comments and admitted that they were mean spirited. She

1064
00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:45,080
Speaker 2: felt that because of her family, she's always had the

1065
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:48,680
Speaker 2: pressure to live up to a traditional family life. Even

1066
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:51,600
Speaker 2: though she didn't want to and was happy the way

1067
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:54,480
Speaker 2: things were with bass. I was happy we reached some

1068
00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:57,600
Speaker 2: sort of understanding. Things took a turn for the.

1069
00:51:57,560 --> 00:51:59,840
Speaker 1: Worst buckle That seatbel because we're turning.

1070
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:04,240
Speaker 2: She confessed that she purposely started saying me in comments

1071
00:52:04,239 --> 00:52:07,239
Speaker 2: to prevent me from falling into the stay at home

1072
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:10,480
Speaker 2: mom trap. I was confused, and she clarified that two

1073
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:12,799
Speaker 2: other women in the group have done the same after

1074
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:15,439
Speaker 2: having children, and she predicted that I would go down

1075
00:52:15,480 --> 00:52:19,560
Speaker 2: the same route. So to protect me after I got engaged,

1076
00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:24,360
Speaker 2: she started indirectly shaming me in hopes I would equit

1077
00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:27,080
Speaker 2: my job to take care of my kids. I have

1078
00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:29,759
Speaker 2: never once said I wanted to be a stay at

1079
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:32,960
Speaker 2: home mother, by the way, I told her that was

1080
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:36,560
Speaker 2: effing crazy, and that I never once said I wanted

1081
00:52:36,600 --> 00:52:39,760
Speaker 2: to stop working because I loved my job. She said

1082
00:52:39,960 --> 00:52:42,280
Speaker 2: that was a good thing, but she thought I would

1083
00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:44,920
Speaker 2: I would do it because of how often I talk

1084
00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:47,920
Speaker 2: about my daughter and how in her eyes I create

1085
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:50,439
Speaker 2: the validation of my husband too much.

1086
00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:54,959
Speaker 3: Okay, she is just like to win this relationship. I'm

1087
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:56,879
Speaker 3: just helping you, just.

1088
00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:59,359
Speaker 1: Making sure you don't, you know, become a stay at

1089
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 1: home mom and like become like a loving mother.

1090
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:05,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, because stay at homes mother's worst thing ever.

1091
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:06,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like that's gross.

1092
00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:07,440
Speaker 3: Can't do that?

1093
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:10,320
Speaker 1: No, wonder Like you guys have such a happy relationship

1094
00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:13,799
Speaker 1: and I'm not married. But like, here's the thing I

1095
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:17,080
Speaker 1: was taught. If you have nothing nice to say, don't

1096
00:53:17,120 --> 00:53:17,480
Speaker 1: say it.

1097
00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:21,080
Speaker 2: I said she was being mean, and I've treasured her

1098
00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:23,360
Speaker 2: friendship for a long time, but I need to think

1099
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:26,160
Speaker 2: as if it was worth saving. I'm now in my

1100
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:29,360
Speaker 2: car typing this head spinning. I don't want her to

1101
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:31,799
Speaker 2: be my friend anymore, but I'm scared that other people

1102
00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:34,920
Speaker 2: might shame me into it because of the baby coming.

1103
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:38,279
Speaker 2: What do I do? Update two? Get ready with me.

1104
00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:41,480
Speaker 2: If people don't take your side, just be like, look, uh,

1105
00:53:42,400 --> 00:53:43,880
Speaker 2: she just share this post.

1106
00:53:44,120 --> 00:53:48,200
Speaker 1: Share this post. But like your friend group seems very logical,

1107
00:53:48,239 --> 00:53:49,799
Speaker 1: and I would also talk to your friend group like, hey,

1108
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:54,879
Speaker 1: she said this stuff about you and she didn't like it,

1109
00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:59,399
Speaker 1: So very simple. Just I think you just tell her, Hey,

1110
00:53:59,760 --> 00:54:03,960
Speaker 1: this toxic mindset's got to stop, or I'm cutting you off. Exactly,

1111
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:07,920
Speaker 1: this mindset of you telling people how to live their

1112
00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:10,480
Speaker 1: lives and how to have their relationships.

1113
00:54:09,840 --> 00:54:11,200
Speaker 3: You're crazy. Update two.

1114
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:13,400
Speaker 2: Hello everyone, this is the last time we're going to

1115
00:54:13,480 --> 00:54:16,560
Speaker 2: update on the situation because I've decided the stress isn't

1116
00:54:16,600 --> 00:54:19,160
Speaker 2: worth it. These last few days, I've been making the

1117
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:22,120
Speaker 2: calls and visits to my close friends and family to

1118
00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:26,239
Speaker 2: announce the pregnancy, so pretty much everyone in my circle knows.

1119
00:54:26,280 --> 00:54:29,720
Speaker 3: Now. People have just been wanting to talk about the baby,

1120
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:33,000
Speaker 3: so no one has asked me about all the Mandy stuff. Thankfully.

1121
00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:35,360
Speaker 2: I met up with one of my closest friends in

1122
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:37,680
Speaker 2: the group recently. I told her what happened the last

1123
00:54:37,680 --> 00:54:42,839
Speaker 2: time I saw Mandy. She was just gobsmacked, as was I.

1124
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:44,960
Speaker 2: I told her I'm going to be taking some space

1125
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:47,719
Speaker 2: for Mandy and this whole drama to focus on the pregnancy,

1126
00:54:48,239 --> 00:54:50,279
Speaker 2: even though I didn't really want to hear about it.

1127
00:54:50,719 --> 00:54:54,600
Speaker 2: My friend gave some new info a Mandy and Baths.

1128
00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:59,560
Speaker 2: Apparently they are going through it right now and are

1129
00:54:59,640 --> 00:55:02,960
Speaker 2: close to breaking up. Has gotten bad enough that bas

1130
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:06,320
Speaker 2: has temporarily moved back in with his mom. According to

1131
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:09,000
Speaker 2: my friend, Mandy decided to have a serious talk with

1132
00:55:09,040 --> 00:55:13,000
Speaker 2: Baz about marriage. She told him that she was okay

1133
00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:16,840
Speaker 2: with never getting married. By the way, We're never okay

1134
00:55:16,880 --> 00:55:19,799
Speaker 2: with you not marrying us. All you gotta do is

1135
00:55:19,840 --> 00:55:22,840
Speaker 2: do these three steps. One go to your favorite podcast

1136
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:27,040
Speaker 2: platform Apple, Spotify or iHeartRadio.

1137
00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:28,319
Speaker 3: Two what do they search up?

1138
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:30,319
Speaker 1: Okay, story time?

1139
00:55:30,719 --> 00:55:34,279
Speaker 2: Three press play Boom. You married us, and we will

1140
00:55:34,320 --> 00:55:36,600
Speaker 2: be with you for at least.

1141
00:55:36,440 --> 00:55:39,080
Speaker 3: Sixty days straight. I'm just about yeah, we got a

1142
00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:42,040
Speaker 3: little bit more here thoughts.

1143
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:46,800
Speaker 1: It's been obvious she's projecting and she is just jealous

1144
00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:50,279
Speaker 1: of Oh my god, everyone has a happy relationship but me.

1145
00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:53,960
Speaker 1: Everyone's getting married, having kids but me.

1146
00:55:54,440 --> 00:55:57,560
Speaker 2: Baths then kind of freaked out and accused her of

1147
00:55:57,640 --> 00:56:00,480
Speaker 2: cheating because he thinks her not I need to get

1148
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:03,719
Speaker 2: married anymore means there has to be someone else or

1149
00:56:04,280 --> 00:56:07,520
Speaker 2: she has lost interest, which is dumb. He apparently won't

1150
00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:10,680
Speaker 2: listen to reason, so they're taking some time apart. I

1151
00:56:10,719 --> 00:56:13,320
Speaker 2: feel sad for her. This is not my focus anymore.

1152
00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:16,080
Speaker 2: I hope Mandy just ends up happy. I'm thriving with

1153
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:19,440
Speaker 2: my family, focusing on getting through these early pregnancy days

1154
00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:24,520
Speaker 2: and spending time with the people who support me. Day

1155
00:56:24,640 --> 00:56:26,080
Speaker 2: that really took a turn.

1156
00:56:26,320 --> 00:56:28,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, but this is you know, when you get older,

1157
00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:32,799
Speaker 1: when you have a family, your own life, you gotta

1158
00:56:33,200 --> 00:56:35,480
Speaker 1: do what's best and just focus on your own happiness.

1159
00:56:35,520 --> 00:56:38,880
Speaker 1: There are your family's happiness. Yeah, don't have other I

1160
00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:41,560
Speaker 1: really didn't like those comments where she's like, oh, I

1161
00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:44,040
Speaker 1: have a second baby. Now I'm gonna get people talking

1162
00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:45,280
Speaker 1: beyond my back. It was just mandy.

1163
00:56:45,400 --> 00:56:45,560
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1164
00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:47,960
Speaker 1: I feel like, if you have the right friends and

1165
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:50,880
Speaker 1: the right support group, they're only gonna be happy for you.

1166
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:51,960
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's it.

1167
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:53,640
Speaker 2: They're not They're not gonna they're not gonna be like,

1168
00:56:53,680 --> 00:56:55,600
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, you shouldn't be a stay at home mom.

1169
00:56:56,239 --> 00:56:57,799
Speaker 3: That's the worst thing you could ever do to.

1170
00:56:57,760 --> 00:57:00,400
Speaker 1: Your sound like, oh my gosh, I think you're a

1171
00:57:00,400 --> 00:57:03,320
Speaker 1: gold digger. That's gonna like you must.

1172
00:57:03,080 --> 00:57:09,080
Speaker 3: Sack dude, Like what that's wild? That is ugh ah.

1173
00:57:09,160 --> 00:57:10,719
Speaker 4: Hey it's John here og, host of the show.

1174
00:57:10,719 --> 00:57:12,160
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to these juicy stories.

1175
00:57:12,200 --> 00:57:14,399
Speaker 4: But here's a quick three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1176
00:57:14,920 --> 00:57:17,160
Speaker 1: My friend doesn't want me to bring a plus one,

1177
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:19,640
Speaker 1: so I took back my wedding favor.

1178
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:21,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're not getting in any more.

1179
00:57:21,960 --> 00:57:25,640
Speaker 1: It's mine. Now Here is the situation. Last summer, I

1180
00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:29,000
Speaker 1: bought my grandparents house. WHOA. This house was the hangout

1181
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:32,480
Speaker 1: spot for all my friends and throughout our childhood. This

1182
00:57:32,560 --> 00:57:35,720
Speaker 1: includes my friend Dave. The house has a sizeable amount

1183
00:57:35,800 --> 00:57:38,440
Speaker 1: of land which includes a lake and a gazebo.

1184
00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:39,320
Speaker 4: Oohoo.

1185
00:57:40,680 --> 00:57:43,600
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from a user long assistant

1186
00:57:43,600 --> 00:57:45,640
Speaker 1: eight eight seveny three and if you want to submit

1187
00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:48,960
Speaker 1: your own stories, go t d R slash Okay. Storytime

1188
00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:51,920
Speaker 1: subbured it So. I was supposed to buy the house

1189
00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:55,960
Speaker 1: with my now ex girlfriend, Leslie, but going through the

1190
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:58,560
Speaker 1: process of getting approved to buy, I found out that

1191
00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:01,439
Speaker 1: she has massive amounts of credit card and personal debt

1192
00:58:01,680 --> 00:58:04,560
Speaker 1: that she hit for me throughout our four years. I

1193
00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:07,960
Speaker 1: decided to break up as a result. That was about

1194
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:13,480
Speaker 1: six months ago. I met Leslie because Dave's long term girlfriend, Kim,

1195
00:58:13,680 --> 00:58:17,200
Speaker 1: is Lessie's cousin. Dave and Kim are engaged and set

1196
00:58:17,240 --> 00:58:20,600
Speaker 1: to get married in April. When I was buying the house,

1197
00:58:20,680 --> 00:58:23,040
Speaker 1: they asked if they could have the ceremony at the gazebo,

1198
00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:28,120
Speaker 1: which I agreed to. In December, I started dating again.

1199
00:58:28,800 --> 00:58:32,080
Speaker 1: Leslie has not taken this well at all. She thinks

1200
00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:36,360
Speaker 1: we're going to get back together and has tried multiple

1201
00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:38,640
Speaker 1: times to make that happen. I have told her, in

1202
00:58:38,760 --> 00:58:42,560
Speaker 1: no uncertain terms that isn't happening. Dave and Kim have

1203
00:58:42,720 --> 00:58:44,640
Speaker 1: asked me to bring a plus one to the wedding

1204
00:58:44,880 --> 00:58:47,600
Speaker 1: for Leslie's sake. You know, if I was op, I'll

1205
00:58:47,640 --> 00:58:50,400
Speaker 1: be like, she can come, but she's not my plus one. Yeah, yeah, true,

1206
00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:52,880
Speaker 1: she's not my plus one. I have told him that

1207
00:58:52,920 --> 00:58:58,120
Speaker 1: this request is ridiculous, ridiculous. This wedding is happening at

1208
00:58:58,160 --> 00:59:01,080
Speaker 1: my house, using my land, and I am not allowed

1209
00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:04,120
Speaker 1: to bring a date because of my crazy X. If

1210
00:59:04,120 --> 00:59:05,920
Speaker 1: that is the case, then they need to find a

1211
00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:09,440
Speaker 1: new venue for the wedding, right. They are pissed about

1212
00:59:09,440 --> 00:59:12,920
Speaker 1: this given the short timeframe of the wedding and when

1213
00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:16,800
Speaker 1: it is supposed to happen. So we are at an impasse.

1214
00:59:17,240 --> 00:59:19,520
Speaker 1: Am I the a hole? And before we get into

1215
00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:22,120
Speaker 1: that question, we have an edit. I have seen a

1216
00:59:22,120 --> 00:59:24,440
Speaker 1: few things brought up a number of times in the comments,

1217
00:59:25,040 --> 00:59:28,760
Speaker 1: so I will quickly address them here. I am fully

1218
00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:31,680
Speaker 1: aware of the liability issues, which is why I purchased

1219
00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:34,760
Speaker 1: and the and they reimbursed me for a special event

1220
00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:38,160
Speaker 1: insurance policy which will provide one hundred percent coverage for

1221
00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:41,680
Speaker 1: any damages, claims, injuries, et cetera to any of the

1222
00:59:41,720 --> 00:59:45,720
Speaker 1: property or persons up to two million dollars. It is

1223
00:59:45,760 --> 00:59:47,680
Speaker 1: one of the first things we did after I agreed

1224
00:59:47,760 --> 00:59:50,880
Speaker 1: to have the event in my home. Second, the wedding

1225
00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:54,400
Speaker 1: will have a maximum if everyone comes of seventy five guests,

1226
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:58,920
Speaker 1: five catering staff, in five security staff. The security is

1227
00:59:58,920 --> 01:00:01,520
Speaker 1: because of this is an open area that anyone walking

1228
01:00:01,560 --> 01:00:06,000
Speaker 1: past can access. The house has hosted events twice this size,

1229
01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:09,120
Speaker 1: and logistically it has been fine. On the property are

1230
01:00:09,160 --> 01:00:11,920
Speaker 1: two cottages, one with a bathroom and the other with

1231
01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:15,600
Speaker 1: two bathrooms. The only portion of my house that will

1232
01:00:15,640 --> 01:00:18,520
Speaker 1: be locked during the wedding is the finished basement. The

1233
01:00:18,560 --> 01:00:21,560
Speaker 1: basement has two bathrooms. Next is every person who was

1234
01:00:21,560 --> 01:00:24,240
Speaker 1: single i e. Not in an established relationship received an

1235
01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:28,360
Speaker 1: invitation with a plus one, including me and Leslie. This

1236
01:00:28,520 --> 01:00:31,000
Speaker 1: talk came after I sent in my return card and

1237
01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:34,720
Speaker 1: indicated I was bringing a plus one. Now they are

1238
01:00:34,760 --> 01:00:36,640
Speaker 1: saying they do not want me to have the plus

1239
01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:39,040
Speaker 1: one because Leslie blew up about it and they were

1240
01:00:39,040 --> 01:00:41,520
Speaker 1: afraid of a blow up at the wedding. Huh, So

1241
01:00:41,560 --> 01:00:43,760
Speaker 1: who do we invite? Do we invite the person who's

1242
01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:46,120
Speaker 1: gonna blow up at the wedding or the person who's

1243
01:00:46,200 --> 01:00:51,200
Speaker 1: hosting your freaking event hosting your wedding. Also, why is

1244
01:00:51,280 --> 01:00:55,040
Speaker 1: Leslie controlling your wedding? Why does she get to be

1245
01:00:55,120 --> 01:00:58,520
Speaker 1: like yeah, Why is Leslie being like, hey, this is

1246
01:00:58,520 --> 01:01:02,400
Speaker 1: your wedding, but if OPI has a plus one, it's

1247
01:01:02,440 --> 01:01:06,240
Speaker 1: over no wedding. Why why are you guys having a

1248
01:01:06,280 --> 01:01:10,000
Speaker 1: wet wet spine to Leslie to stand up for yourself, spine,

1249
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:14,480
Speaker 1: Come on, Leslie indicated she intends to bring someone on

1250
01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:17,560
Speaker 1: her card. I don't know if she will actually bring someone.

1251
01:01:18,080 --> 01:01:20,960
Speaker 1: And we have an update. So in this case, are

1252
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:23,480
Speaker 1: you the a hole? OPI? You're not the a hole?

1253
01:01:23,840 --> 01:01:28,080
Speaker 1: You're again they're making really weird requests in your being

1254
01:01:28,280 --> 01:01:31,600
Speaker 1: nice enough to, you know, give them your house as

1255
01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:36,160
Speaker 1: you know, for their wedding. Onto the update. So I

1256
01:01:36,160 --> 01:01:38,560
Speaker 1: met with Dave this morning. We talked for almost two

1257
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:41,440
Speaker 1: hours about everything. I lit it out that I thought

1258
01:01:41,480 --> 01:01:45,080
Speaker 1: he was at best a crappy friend. I went through

1259
01:01:45,120 --> 01:01:47,480
Speaker 1: our long history of various things over the years that

1260
01:01:47,520 --> 01:01:50,800
Speaker 1: has me questioning our friendship. That was the bulk of

1261
01:01:50,800 --> 01:01:55,040
Speaker 1: the conversation. We then turned to the breakup with Leslie

1262
01:01:55,200 --> 01:01:57,320
Speaker 1: and the crap show of the last six months. Throughout

1263
01:01:57,360 --> 01:02:00,360
Speaker 1: the last six months, despite Leslie's craziness. I have bent

1264
01:02:00,440 --> 01:02:03,320
Speaker 1: over backwards to try and accommodate her feelings. She has

1265
01:02:03,360 --> 01:02:05,040
Speaker 1: showed up to my house in the middle of the night.

1266
01:02:05,400 --> 01:02:08,120
Speaker 1: My god, I did not go for a restraining order.

1267
01:02:09,080 --> 01:02:11,080
Speaker 1: When I go out, I do not go to places

1268
01:02:11,120 --> 01:02:12,880
Speaker 1: I know that her and her family like to go.

1269
01:02:13,560 --> 01:02:15,560
Speaker 1: She has implied to her family and mutual friends at

1270
01:02:15,640 --> 01:02:18,240
Speaker 1: various times that I cheated and or that I took

1271
01:02:18,240 --> 01:02:22,160
Speaker 1: advantage of her financially, neither of which is true at all.

1272
01:02:22,560 --> 01:02:25,120
Speaker 1: I've held my tongue not to embarrass her about these

1273
01:02:25,120 --> 01:02:27,919
Speaker 1: things in front of her friends and family. Dave knows

1274
01:02:27,960 --> 01:02:30,160
Speaker 1: all of that, and yet is demanding once again that

1275
01:02:30,200 --> 01:02:34,200
Speaker 1: I put Leslie's feelings before my own. I said, you

1276
01:02:34,320 --> 01:02:36,640
Speaker 1: and everyone need to stop coddling her like she's an

1277
01:02:36,640 --> 01:02:40,920
Speaker 1: effing child. Yeah, she made her decisions. There are two

1278
01:02:40,920 --> 01:02:43,320
Speaker 1: adults here. Yeah, why is everyone pointing the finger at

1279
01:02:43,360 --> 01:02:46,480
Speaker 1: uop that. Hey, you made decisions and you know you're

1280
01:02:46,480 --> 01:02:50,360
Speaker 1: allowed to have them. But Leslie made poor ones and

1281
01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:51,439
Speaker 1: we got a patter on the back.

1282
01:02:51,520 --> 01:02:51,720
Speaker 7: Yeah.

1283
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:54,640
Speaker 2: Also, Dave, do you want somewhere to have your host

1284
01:02:54,680 --> 01:02:56,200
Speaker 2: your wedding? Do you want to have a wedding place

1285
01:02:56,320 --> 01:02:56,600
Speaker 2: or not.

1286
01:02:56,760 --> 01:02:59,600
Speaker 1: Like, Yeah, you are literally pushing the mug off the table.

1287
01:02:59,640 --> 01:03:01,880
Speaker 1: I guess like you're getting really close to the edge here.

1288
01:03:01,880 --> 01:03:03,400
Speaker 3: You're about to have no more hot chocolate.

1289
01:03:03,720 --> 01:03:06,160
Speaker 1: There's gonna be no more wedding. Dave concedes that Leslie

1290
01:03:06,160 --> 01:03:09,240
Speaker 1: has been crazy and ridiculous since the breakup, but he

1291
01:03:09,320 --> 01:03:11,840
Speaker 1: says she feels like she feels she did not get

1292
01:03:11,840 --> 01:03:14,240
Speaker 1: closure after the relationship. She wants to have an evening

1293
01:03:14,240 --> 01:03:16,120
Speaker 1: where she can talk to you to get that closure.

1294
01:03:17,080 --> 01:03:19,680
Speaker 1: He also told me that Leslie has been very vigilant

1295
01:03:19,680 --> 01:03:22,560
Speaker 1: about paying off her debt and paid paid off almost

1296
01:03:22,720 --> 01:03:25,400
Speaker 1: ten thousand dollars of credit card debt. Good for her.

1297
01:03:26,480 --> 01:03:28,280
Speaker 1: She wants to talk to me about her progress to

1298
01:03:28,280 --> 01:03:30,160
Speaker 1: see if that might cause me to change my mind.

1299
01:03:30,400 --> 01:03:32,120
Speaker 3: It was not about the credit card debt.

1300
01:03:32,120 --> 01:03:35,160
Speaker 1: Honey, it will not change my mind. I asked him.

1301
01:03:35,240 --> 01:03:37,520
Speaker 1: So do you expect me to go to the wedding

1302
01:03:37,560 --> 01:03:40,840
Speaker 1: and talk to her because I have her blocked everywhere

1303
01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:43,400
Speaker 1: and date or not, I do not plan to say

1304
01:03:43,440 --> 01:03:46,760
Speaker 1: a single mumbling word to her, he said, I fully

1305
01:03:46,800 --> 01:03:48,960
Speaker 1: expect she would lose it if y'all do not talk

1306
01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:52,320
Speaker 1: at the wedding. I told him, if that is the case, then,

1307
01:03:52,520 --> 01:03:54,920
Speaker 1: for the good of my property, I can't have Leslie

1308
01:03:54,960 --> 01:03:57,720
Speaker 1: come if she is so unstable that I need to

1309
01:03:57,760 --> 01:04:00,520
Speaker 1: be coerced into a conversation with her. She is unsafe

1310
01:04:00,560 --> 01:04:04,280
Speaker 1: to be a guest in any capacity in my home.

1311
01:04:05,080 --> 01:04:06,920
Speaker 1: So I have told him, based on what he has

1312
01:04:06,960 --> 01:04:09,480
Speaker 1: told me, Leslie cannot come to my house or on

1313
01:04:09,560 --> 01:04:12,240
Speaker 1: my land. I'm willing to still have the wedding at

1314
01:04:12,240 --> 01:04:15,080
Speaker 1: my place, but I cannot trust Leslie won't do something

1315
01:04:15,400 --> 01:04:18,440
Speaker 1: given what you are telling me. Dave lost it at

1316
01:04:18,440 --> 01:04:21,960
Speaker 1: this point. He said, af you and your crap. I

1317
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:26,040
Speaker 1: don't need it. So I said, the wedding's off, or

1318
01:04:26,360 --> 01:04:30,560
Speaker 1: in this case, the wedding is no longer on my land.

1319
01:04:31,320 --> 01:04:34,720
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, you push the mark off.

1320
01:04:34,800 --> 01:04:36,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, you push it. You you broke it.

1321
01:04:37,040 --> 01:04:38,360
Speaker 3: I didn't think he's actually gonna do it.

1322
01:04:38,480 --> 01:04:43,200
Speaker 1: What's more important here, your wedding or Leslie's feelings. Dave left.

1323
01:04:43,480 --> 01:04:45,680
Speaker 1: So that is the state of things, and we're on

1324
01:04:45,720 --> 01:04:48,840
Speaker 1: to a second update. Let's go straight into it. People

1325
01:04:48,880 --> 01:04:51,280
Speaker 1: have asked for an update now that the original date

1326
01:04:51,320 --> 01:04:53,600
Speaker 1: of the wedding has passed. I think it is appropriate.

1327
01:04:54,040 --> 01:04:55,920
Speaker 1: In the week's following the discussion, with Dave. From my

1328
01:04:56,000 --> 01:04:58,800
Speaker 1: last update, A number of our mutual friends reached out

1329
01:04:58,840 --> 01:05:02,440
Speaker 1: to me and asked if everything was okay. I ignored

1330
01:05:02,440 --> 01:05:04,680
Speaker 1: these messages and went about living my life. I mean,

1331
01:05:04,720 --> 01:05:07,000
Speaker 1: you can respond back to those messages. He's like, ah,

1332
01:05:07,040 --> 01:05:11,560
Speaker 1: I'm fine, it's cool. Dave reached out to my grandparents.

1333
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:14,280
Speaker 1: My grandparents said said I need to talk to Dave

1334
01:05:14,320 --> 01:05:16,800
Speaker 1: and figure it out. I ignored them. I don't like

1335
01:05:16,840 --> 01:05:19,160
Speaker 1: what you're doing up pee. Yah. You can't run away

1336
01:05:19,200 --> 01:05:20,320
Speaker 1: from everyone.

1337
01:05:20,520 --> 01:05:23,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, you gotta have another conversation or just be like, hey,

1338
01:05:24,280 --> 01:05:25,880
Speaker 2: put the truth out there because you failed. You're talking

1339
01:05:25,880 --> 01:05:28,200
Speaker 2: about Leslie. Yeah, I just put the truth out man.

1340
01:05:28,440 --> 01:05:31,320
Speaker 1: About a month after my last update, Dave's mom reached out.

1341
01:05:31,600 --> 01:05:35,120
Speaker 1: She said, ope, I hope you are doing well. Can

1342
01:05:35,160 --> 01:05:37,760
Speaker 1: I come and listen to you. I know number of

1343
01:05:37,760 --> 01:05:40,320
Speaker 1: people what to tell you what they think, but I

1344
01:05:40,440 --> 01:05:43,439
Speaker 1: just want to hear you. I will say, I will

1345
01:05:43,480 --> 01:05:46,000
Speaker 1: say as few or as many words as you want

1346
01:05:46,320 --> 01:05:49,640
Speaker 1: if you do not want to. I completely understand her

1347
01:05:49,680 --> 01:05:52,200
Speaker 1: tone and tenor was different than everyone else's. So I

1348
01:05:52,280 --> 01:05:56,360
Speaker 1: decided to meet up. I swear if Leslie is with

1349
01:05:56,520 --> 01:05:59,480
Speaker 1: the mom. We met on the back porch of my house.

1350
01:06:00,040 --> 01:06:02,720
Speaker 1: Told her everything that break up with Leslie, including why

1351
01:06:02,760 --> 01:06:05,200
Speaker 1: we broke up, getting the invitation with the plus one,

1352
01:06:05,520 --> 01:06:07,880
Speaker 1: the subsequent meeting with Dave and Kim, or sending the

1353
01:06:07,920 --> 01:06:10,800
Speaker 1: plus one because Leslie was upset, and then meeting up

1354
01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:13,080
Speaker 1: with Dave and everything discussed with him, and my decision

1355
01:06:13,120 --> 01:06:15,920
Speaker 1: to say they cannot use my property for the wedding.

1356
01:06:16,880 --> 01:06:21,400
Speaker 1: After I explained everything, I was pretty upset. She asked,

1357
01:06:21,720 --> 01:06:25,360
Speaker 1: can I give you a hug? I said yes. She

1358
01:06:25,480 --> 01:06:28,360
Speaker 1: gave me a hug while I cried for a bit. Oh.

1359
01:06:28,440 --> 01:06:30,720
Speaker 1: She asked if there's anything I wanted her to say.

1360
01:06:31,640 --> 01:06:34,680
Speaker 1: I asked for her perspective on everything. She had talked

1361
01:06:34,680 --> 01:06:37,320
Speaker 1: about how she did not really know about why Leslie

1362
01:06:37,320 --> 01:06:39,760
Speaker 1: and I broke up. She had heard rumors about me

1363
01:06:39,880 --> 01:06:44,280
Speaker 1: cheating and that like, but she didn't believe them. But

1364
01:06:44,640 --> 01:06:46,800
Speaker 1: she didn't know why we broke up because she thought

1365
01:06:46,840 --> 01:06:49,880
Speaker 1: we were happy and had a good relationship. She admitted

1366
01:06:49,960 --> 01:06:52,200
Speaker 1: she was upset by it by it because she was

1367
01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:55,040
Speaker 1: looking forward to coming to our future wedding, Dave and

1368
01:06:55,080 --> 01:06:57,520
Speaker 1: I having kids around the same age, and those kids

1369
01:06:57,520 --> 01:07:00,680
Speaker 1: spending time together at her house. Dave and I used

1370
01:07:00,720 --> 01:07:03,800
Speaker 1: to but Ultimately, she felt it was not her place

1371
01:07:03,800 --> 01:07:06,920
Speaker 1: to say anything, since I am a grown man entitled

1372
01:07:06,960 --> 01:07:08,360
Speaker 1: to live my life how I see fit.

1373
01:07:08,840 --> 01:07:09,600
Speaker 3: This is like the.

1374
01:07:09,560 --> 01:07:15,360
Speaker 1: Only adult in this entire freaking story. She said, Dave

1375
01:07:15,440 --> 01:07:18,160
Speaker 1: can be a jack butt and was being one here.

1376
01:07:19,080 --> 01:07:21,320
Speaker 1: She told me Leslie's behavior was out of line, but

1377
01:07:21,480 --> 01:07:24,760
Speaker 1: she did deeply empathize with Leslie. Dave's mom told me

1378
01:07:24,800 --> 01:07:26,680
Speaker 1: things I did not know about her breakup with a

1379
01:07:26,720 --> 01:07:29,720
Speaker 1: long term boyfriend before she met Dave's dad, and how

1380
01:07:29,760 --> 01:07:31,680
Speaker 1: for a year and a half she was an absolute

1381
01:07:31,760 --> 01:07:34,840
Speaker 1: wreck of a person. During that time, she said, she

1382
01:07:34,880 --> 01:07:36,440
Speaker 1: did a lot of things she is not proud of,

1383
01:07:36,720 --> 01:07:39,440
Speaker 1: and we're out of character for her. She told me

1384
01:07:39,480 --> 01:07:41,200
Speaker 1: she dreamed about a certain life she was going to

1385
01:07:41,240 --> 01:07:43,960
Speaker 1: have and that dream was scattered, and for a year

1386
01:07:43,960 --> 01:07:46,400
Speaker 1: and a half she would have done anything to get

1387
01:07:46,400 --> 01:07:50,959
Speaker 1: that dream back. So she cannot judge Leslie, but thinks

1388
01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:56,000
Speaker 1: Leslie needs therapy. We shot the crap for a bit

1389
01:07:56,040 --> 01:07:58,320
Speaker 1: and she then left. For the next couple of weeks,

1390
01:07:58,320 --> 01:08:01,200
Speaker 1: I kept getting calls and text about what is going

1391
01:08:01,240 --> 01:08:05,320
Speaker 1: on from various people involved. I decided to just, in

1392
01:08:05,360 --> 01:08:08,480
Speaker 1: a rather factual way, lay everything out. I drafted a

1393
01:08:08,520 --> 01:08:11,040
Speaker 1: mass text message and laid out exactly why the wedding

1394
01:08:11,200 --> 01:08:14,720
Speaker 1: was not happening at my home. I went through everything

1395
01:08:14,760 --> 01:08:17,160
Speaker 1: I had shared with Dave's mom. I also sent an

1396
01:08:17,200 --> 01:08:19,400
Speaker 1: email I let it be known that if anyone showed

1397
01:08:19,439 --> 01:08:22,040
Speaker 1: up to my house on the original wedding date, I

1398
01:08:22,120 --> 01:08:23,360
Speaker 1: would call the police.

1399
01:08:24,080 --> 01:08:25,120
Speaker 3: He's not playing around.

1400
01:08:26,000 --> 01:08:28,880
Speaker 1: And by the way, I'm calling you to listen to

1401
01:08:28,920 --> 01:08:32,920
Speaker 1: full episodes with stories just like this one. Go to Spotify,

1402
01:08:33,240 --> 01:08:37,720
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, or your favorite podcast app and search.

1403
01:08:37,520 --> 01:08:40,200
Speaker 3: What Okay story Time.

1404
01:08:40,800 --> 01:08:43,720
Speaker 1: There's plenty of stories like this one and what we're

1405
01:08:43,760 --> 01:08:45,520
Speaker 1: at sixty days almost.

1406
01:08:45,240 --> 01:08:48,120
Speaker 3: Somewhere somewhere around there. Yeah, you'll be with us for

1407
01:08:48,200 --> 01:08:48,679
Speaker 3: a minute.

1408
01:08:48,960 --> 01:08:51,080
Speaker 1: Uh, there's a little bit left here, Riley.

1409
01:08:51,960 --> 01:08:53,120
Speaker 7: I is he?

1410
01:08:53,360 --> 01:08:53,720
Speaker 3: I don't know.

1411
01:08:53,760 --> 01:08:57,200
Speaker 2: I feel like Dave and his bride to be should

1412
01:08:57,200 --> 01:09:01,519
Speaker 2: have dropped Leslie's feelings earlier. Maybe Dave got something going

1413
01:09:01,520 --> 01:09:03,800
Speaker 2: on with Leslie and he's like, heymen, she.

1414
01:09:03,920 --> 01:09:05,960
Speaker 3: Every time we hook up, she's just sad about you.

1415
01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:07,439
Speaker 3: So could you just get back with her so we

1416
01:09:07,479 --> 01:09:09,200
Speaker 3: could still hook up? I?

1417
01:09:09,680 --> 01:09:11,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I don't think that to that extent,

1418
01:09:12,120 --> 01:09:15,479
Speaker 1: but I think you spent four years with Leslie. So

1419
01:09:15,800 --> 01:09:17,640
Speaker 1: there can't be like a full amount of hate for

1420
01:09:17,680 --> 01:09:20,559
Speaker 1: this person. So you should be caring for this person.

1421
01:09:20,680 --> 01:09:23,840
Speaker 1: I mean, you did share four years together. So in

1422
01:09:23,880 --> 01:09:27,280
Speaker 1: my retrospect, if my ex was going through it like this,

1423
01:09:28,120 --> 01:09:29,640
Speaker 1: I would want to talk to them, give them the

1424
01:09:29,640 --> 01:09:33,320
Speaker 1: closure they deserve, or like, hey, let's get you to

1425
01:09:33,400 --> 01:09:38,640
Speaker 1: therapy because one we're not getting back together. Two, like

1426
01:09:39,160 --> 01:09:41,559
Speaker 1: you are a human being, I care for you. Let's

1427
01:09:41,560 --> 01:09:45,639
Speaker 1: help get you the help you'd need. Because coming at

1428
01:09:45,640 --> 01:09:47,639
Speaker 1: my house in the middle of the night not okay.

1429
01:09:48,240 --> 01:09:52,760
Speaker 1: But let's go in and finish this story. After I

1430
01:09:52,760 --> 01:09:55,520
Speaker 1: send the message an email, a number of mutual acquaintances

1431
01:09:55,560 --> 01:09:58,920
Speaker 1: and friends apologize to me for how they have contributed

1432
01:09:58,960 --> 01:10:03,120
Speaker 1: to the situation. Also, crap apparently hit the fan. At

1433
01:10:03,160 --> 01:10:05,760
Speaker 1: the wedding, Dave had light about our conversation to Kim.

1434
01:10:06,280 --> 01:10:08,880
Speaker 1: He apparently told her he begged and pleaded with me

1435
01:10:09,200 --> 01:10:12,000
Speaker 1: to let them have the wedding on my property. Dave

1436
01:10:12,080 --> 01:10:13,920
Speaker 1: reached out to me to apologize and see if I

1437
01:10:13,920 --> 01:10:16,240
Speaker 1: would be willing to talk. I told him I thought

1438
01:10:16,280 --> 01:10:18,120
Speaker 1: it was best that we do not talk for a while.

1439
01:10:18,680 --> 01:10:20,800
Speaker 1: A lot of people are mad at Leslie and her

1440
01:10:20,880 --> 01:10:24,280
Speaker 1: family is blaming her for the wedding situation. Yep, no

1441
01:10:24,320 --> 01:10:25,800
Speaker 1: one showed up at the house on the original day

1442
01:10:25,800 --> 01:10:27,920
Speaker 1: of the wedding. As far as I know, the wedding

1443
01:10:28,040 --> 01:10:28,880
Speaker 1: date is in limbo.

1444
01:10:29,560 --> 01:10:30,160
Speaker 3: That's on them.

1445
01:10:30,640 --> 01:10:35,160
Speaker 1: Oh on you, Yeah, I mean, could a ope have

1446
01:10:35,200 --> 01:10:38,280
Speaker 1: handled the situation a little bit better? I guess with

1447
01:10:38,320 --> 01:10:42,120
Speaker 1: the Leslie situation, the Dave and Kim part about their wedding,

1448
01:10:42,840 --> 01:10:47,160
Speaker 1: they did absolutely the worst possible way of handling this.

1449
01:10:47,320 --> 01:10:49,960
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but I think handling the Leslie situation should

1450
01:10:49,960 --> 01:10:52,320
Speaker 1: have been like, listen, if he really wants the closure

1451
01:10:52,360 --> 01:10:54,760
Speaker 1: she needs, I will go up to her. It's over.

1452
01:10:55,120 --> 01:10:57,479
Speaker 1: Stop it, Like stop it.

1453
01:10:57,560 --> 01:10:58,240
Speaker 3: You guys are done.

1454
01:10:58,439 --> 01:10:59,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're done.

1455
01:10:59,160 --> 01:11:02,400
Speaker 2: If you keep contact, he's gonna get a restraining order

1456
01:11:02,479 --> 01:11:03,400
Speaker 2: Like stop girl.

1457
01:11:03,640 --> 01:11:07,120
Speaker 1: Yeah. Also, if you're really demanding about your wedding and setting,

1458
01:11:08,160 --> 01:11:11,480
Speaker 1: you know, these demands with the location of the wedding.

1459
01:11:11,439 --> 01:11:13,400
Speaker 2: I just know when I get married, not everyone's gonna

1460
01:11:13,439 --> 01:11:15,679
Speaker 2: be happy, and there's gonna be one villain and I'm

1461
01:11:15,680 --> 01:11:16,920
Speaker 2: just gonna be like, all right.

1462
01:11:16,800 --> 01:11:18,559
Speaker 1: Here's the thing with here's the thing with the weddings

1463
01:11:18,640 --> 01:11:23,040
Speaker 1: or any planning, any party or anythig event. You can't please.

1464
01:11:22,760 --> 01:11:27,480
Speaker 2: Everyone impossible, and that should not be your priority. Whatsoever,

1465
01:11:27,960 --> 01:11:30,560
Speaker 2: you should be making you and the bride happy.

1466
01:11:30,360 --> 01:11:32,160
Speaker 1: At the end of the day. Who's ever throwing the

1467
01:11:32,200 --> 01:11:35,479
Speaker 1: party or hosting the party or the event. Whatever makes

1468
01:11:35,479 --> 01:11:38,360
Speaker 1: you happy. What surround yourself with people that makes you happy,

1469
01:11:39,080 --> 01:11:39,519
Speaker 1: That's it.

1470
01:11:40,960 --> 01:11:43,840
Speaker 3: My friend asks for opinions, then gets mad when she

1471
01:11:44,000 --> 01:11:45,000
Speaker 3: receives them.

1472
01:11:45,320 --> 01:11:47,320
Speaker 4: Ah, you don't like what you're hearing.

1473
01:11:48,160 --> 01:11:50,400
Speaker 3: I'm a bride's maid in my friend's wedding in June.

1474
01:11:50,600 --> 01:11:53,559
Speaker 3: Some backstory. My friend is currently in university and has

1475
01:11:53,600 --> 01:11:57,120
Speaker 3: an upcoming medical school interview, so she's been very stressed

1476
01:11:57,560 --> 01:11:59,720
Speaker 3: by the way. This comes from Jungle Juice ones even

1477
01:11:59,720 --> 01:12:01,320
Speaker 3: two and if you want to spent your own stories,

1478
01:12:01,360 --> 01:12:04,560
Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay storytime separate it. So,

1479
01:12:04,600 --> 01:12:06,840
Speaker 3: since she got engaged in the summer, she has no

1480
01:12:07,040 --> 01:12:10,400
Speaker 3: idea what she wanted to do for colors. I and

1481
01:12:10,439 --> 01:12:13,920
Speaker 3: the other bridesmaids suggested she orders some swatches from Azazi

1482
01:12:14,560 --> 01:12:17,840
Speaker 3: so she could start building a color palette. At Christmas time,

1483
01:12:17,920 --> 01:12:21,360
Speaker 3: she still hadn't determined her colors, but she wanted to

1484
01:12:21,360 --> 01:12:26,000
Speaker 3: go shopping for her flowers at a local silk florist. Originally,

1485
01:12:26,040 --> 01:12:29,080
Speaker 3: she wanted to design her own bouquet, but before even

1486
01:12:29,120 --> 01:12:32,960
Speaker 3: going shopping for those flowers, she ordered four hundred dollars

1487
01:12:33,000 --> 01:12:36,120
Speaker 3: worth of flowers from TEAMU like fake flowers.

1488
01:12:36,120 --> 01:12:39,160
Speaker 7: That's like for Timu flowers. That's got to be an

1489
01:12:39,240 --> 01:12:40,559
Speaker 7: absurd amount of flowers.

1490
01:12:40,640 --> 01:12:43,600
Speaker 3: Goodness, all of what she isn't using. Now. Now that

1491
01:12:43,680 --> 01:12:46,040
Speaker 3: she has her flowers picked out, she still can't come

1492
01:12:46,080 --> 01:12:49,840
Speaker 3: to a decision on colors for her bridesmaids dresses. She

1493
01:12:49,880 --> 01:12:52,240
Speaker 3: originally wanted to get dresses from Park and Fifth, so

1494
01:12:52,280 --> 01:12:54,040
Speaker 3: she went to the store and tried them on herself

1495
01:12:54,080 --> 01:12:57,800
Speaker 3: and loved them. Her sister, who is her maid of honor,

1496
01:12:57,920 --> 01:13:01,120
Speaker 3: hated all of the dresses because because of the style,

1497
01:13:01,479 --> 01:13:04,600
Speaker 3: form fitting, and silk. This past weekend, I got a

1498
01:13:04,640 --> 01:13:06,479
Speaker 3: text from the bride to show me the color she

1499
01:13:06,520 --> 01:13:10,639
Speaker 3: had chosen. There was a dusty lilac, A gave, yellow, blue,

1500
01:13:10,720 --> 01:13:14,559
Speaker 3: and peach. She asked which color I would feel comfortable wearing.

1501
01:13:14,960 --> 01:13:16,920
Speaker 3: I said any color she wanted me to wear, I'd

1502
01:13:16,960 --> 01:13:20,599
Speaker 3: be more than happily. I'd more than happily wear. She

1503
01:13:20,640 --> 01:13:23,160
Speaker 3: then said that wasn't good enough and that she wanted

1504
01:13:23,200 --> 01:13:26,800
Speaker 3: my opinion. I said again that any color would be good.

1505
01:13:27,439 --> 01:13:29,160
Speaker 3: So she picked purple for me and that was good

1506
01:13:29,200 --> 01:13:32,559
Speaker 3: enough by me. She has said to us bridesmaids multiple

1507
01:13:32,640 --> 01:13:35,080
Speaker 3: times that we can pick whatever dress we want as

1508
01:13:35,120 --> 01:13:38,280
Speaker 3: long as we're comfortable. But then she asks me to

1509
01:13:38,360 --> 01:13:40,439
Speaker 3: send her the top dress as I liked so she

1510
01:13:40,600 --> 01:13:43,800
Speaker 3: could pick. I agreed and sent her the ones I liked.

1511
01:13:44,400 --> 01:13:46,839
Speaker 3: She asked, out of all of them, which was my favorite?

1512
01:13:47,040 --> 01:13:49,000
Speaker 3: So I told her, and then she said that it

1513
01:13:49,080 --> 01:13:52,120
Speaker 3: wasn't hers and she preferred a different one. Why did

1514
01:13:52,120 --> 01:13:54,800
Speaker 3: you ask she got you with the curveball? Yeah? I

1515
01:13:54,840 --> 01:13:56,720
Speaker 3: said to her that I wouldn't be as comfortable in

1516
01:13:56,760 --> 01:13:58,840
Speaker 3: that one if that's what she was concerned about, but

1517
01:13:58,920 --> 01:14:01,800
Speaker 3: I would happily wear it. She asked for some time

1518
01:14:01,800 --> 01:14:03,800
Speaker 3: to think about it and said she would get back

1519
01:14:03,840 --> 01:14:07,839
Speaker 3: to me. About an hour later. She was freaking out

1520
01:14:07,880 --> 01:14:10,240
Speaker 3: after thinking she found her brides made dress colors and

1521
01:14:10,240 --> 01:14:13,960
Speaker 3: then realizing they didn't look good with their flowers, so

1522
01:14:14,040 --> 01:14:16,400
Speaker 3: she asked for advice, and I said if she went

1523
01:14:16,439 --> 01:14:18,280
Speaker 3: with her gut and stuck to only a gave, it

1524
01:14:18,280 --> 01:14:21,439
Speaker 3: would look beautiful with her other color navy. But then

1525
01:14:21,479 --> 01:14:23,519
Speaker 3: she said she should have simplified her flowers if she

1526
01:14:23,560 --> 01:14:26,160
Speaker 3: wanted bright colors. Why is she asking your advice?

1527
01:14:26,400 --> 01:14:31,560
Speaker 7: This whole thing is just pick a lane, yeah, driving it.

1528
01:14:31,560 --> 01:14:33,519
Speaker 3: It became a whole thing, and she can't change her

1529
01:14:33,560 --> 01:14:36,719
Speaker 3: flowers now because she already has them. I also explained

1530
01:14:36,720 --> 01:14:39,200
Speaker 3: to her that out of one thousand photos her photographer

1531
01:14:39,240 --> 01:14:43,439
Speaker 3: will take, ten to fifteen will be with her bridesmaids. Also,

1532
01:14:43,520 --> 01:14:46,519
Speaker 3: her photographer has a very muted style, so that'll also

1533
01:14:46,640 --> 01:14:50,519
Speaker 3: change the colors in a picture. Then all of a sudden,

1534
01:14:51,000 --> 01:14:53,240
Speaker 3: she flips a switch. While I'm telling her that all

1535
01:14:53,280 --> 01:14:55,519
Speaker 3: of these ideas are very pretty and will work, she

1536
01:14:55,560 --> 01:14:57,920
Speaker 3: then says, I think a gave is the way I

1537
01:14:57,920 --> 01:14:59,719
Speaker 3: want to go. I think it'll look great on everyone.

1538
01:14:59,760 --> 01:15:01,479
Speaker 3: And I'm I'm not asking this time. I'm just gonna

1539
01:15:01,520 --> 01:15:05,080
Speaker 3: be telling. At that point, I was so confused because

1540
01:15:05,120 --> 01:15:07,840
Speaker 3: she wanted our opinions as to which color we liked.

1541
01:15:08,680 --> 01:15:11,559
Speaker 3: Only two of the bridesmaids got to pick what they liked.

1542
01:15:12,000 --> 01:15:15,000
Speaker 3: I told her I would wear anything. Then she said

1543
01:15:15,000 --> 01:15:17,360
Speaker 3: that she doesn't want to come across as pushy. Uh,

1544
01:15:18,240 --> 01:15:20,559
Speaker 3: I guess we don't always get what we want, and

1545
01:15:20,640 --> 01:15:23,599
Speaker 3: I told her she wasn't being pushy. Finally, I asked

1546
01:15:23,680 --> 01:15:25,760
Speaker 3: if she was looking for opinions or for us to

1547
01:15:25,760 --> 01:15:27,880
Speaker 3: tell her that we didn't like the color she wanted

1548
01:15:27,920 --> 01:15:31,280
Speaker 3: us to wear. It's her wedding, but she's so wrapped

1549
01:15:31,360 --> 01:15:33,920
Speaker 3: up in what other people will think that it's inhibiting

1550
01:15:33,920 --> 01:15:36,880
Speaker 3: her ability to make a decision. I said, the only

1551
01:15:36,920 --> 01:15:39,120
Speaker 3: thing that's making her sound pushy is when she tells

1552
01:15:39,200 --> 01:15:41,960
Speaker 3: us we can wear whatever dress we want, but then

1553
01:15:42,080 --> 01:15:44,599
Speaker 3: she wants to pick the dress. I explained that if

1554
01:15:44,640 --> 01:15:46,960
Speaker 3: she wants us to feel comfortable, that's not how you

1555
01:15:47,000 --> 01:15:47,680
Speaker 3: go about that.

1556
01:15:47,960 --> 01:15:48,799
Speaker 4: Pick a lane.

1557
01:15:49,680 --> 01:15:52,640
Speaker 3: At that point, our fiance texted the other bridesmaids to

1558
01:15:52,720 --> 01:15:54,800
Speaker 3: tell her to casually mention to me that I was

1559
01:15:54,800 --> 01:15:58,000
Speaker 3: being rude and that the bride was incredibly offended that

1560
01:15:58,040 --> 01:16:00,880
Speaker 3: I didn't like her favorite dress because I liked my

1561
01:16:00,960 --> 01:16:04,559
Speaker 3: favorite dress, but the bride never communicates when she's offended

1562
01:16:04,600 --> 01:16:08,160
Speaker 3: about something. It ended up being a whole thing, and

1563
01:16:08,240 --> 01:16:11,360
Speaker 3: I later apologized to her for coming across as aggressive.

1564
01:16:11,920 --> 01:16:13,840
Speaker 3: But I also said to her that if she's seeking

1565
01:16:13,880 --> 01:16:17,320
Speaker 3: opinions and advice, she can't keep getting mad when someone

1566
01:16:17,360 --> 01:16:21,280
Speaker 3: gives her advice or opinions. They're in mine for my wedding.

1567
01:16:21,360 --> 01:16:24,080
Speaker 3: This girl is also my bridesmaid and told me the

1568
01:16:24,160 --> 01:16:26,639
Speaker 3: dresses I wanted for bride'smaids were ugly and she wouldn't

1569
01:16:26,640 --> 01:16:29,880
Speaker 3: do her hair I wanted it done. She later tells

1570
01:16:29,920 --> 01:16:31,760
Speaker 3: me she won't punt me out of the wedding and

1571
01:16:31,800 --> 01:16:34,519
Speaker 3: that my opinions and advice are incredibly valuable to her,

1572
01:16:35,240 --> 01:16:38,040
Speaker 3: but every time she asks for my opinion, she just

1573
01:16:38,040 --> 01:16:38,720
Speaker 3: gets mad at me.

1574
01:16:39,240 --> 01:16:40,200
Speaker 4: Gotta love that.

1575
01:16:40,880 --> 01:16:44,519
Speaker 3: So I've determined she's seeking validation and just wants everyone

1576
01:16:44,560 --> 01:16:47,400
Speaker 3: to agree with her all the time. Correct, that's my

1577
01:16:47,479 --> 01:16:51,160
Speaker 3: bride's illa story. This is incredibly exhausting to me, And

1578
01:16:51,200 --> 01:16:53,679
Speaker 3: there is an update. But do you have any thoughts?

1579
01:16:53,960 --> 01:16:54,160
Speaker 6: Yeah?

1580
01:16:54,280 --> 01:16:56,360
Speaker 7: Uh, If you're gonna have a wedding, it's your wedding,

1581
01:16:56,600 --> 01:16:59,200
Speaker 7: so you decide what it looks like and you don't

1582
01:16:59,200 --> 01:17:01,760
Speaker 7: worry about what other peple are gonna think or want.

1583
01:17:01,920 --> 01:17:04,480
Speaker 4: Just worry about what you think and what you want exactly.

1584
01:17:05,760 --> 01:17:11,000
Speaker 3: Update this weekend, the bride hatter bachelorette party were from Manitoba,

1585
01:17:11,640 --> 01:17:14,120
Speaker 3: so it's the bridal party's job to plan and pay

1586
01:17:14,160 --> 01:17:17,280
Speaker 3: for the bride to attend. The weekend began on Friday

1587
01:17:17,320 --> 01:17:19,920
Speaker 3: at seven pm. We all drove to the bride's condo

1588
01:17:20,000 --> 01:17:22,040
Speaker 3: where her and two of the other bride's maids live.

1589
01:17:22,640 --> 01:17:26,320
Speaker 3: We went to activate and had a blast. We came

1590
01:17:26,400 --> 01:17:28,840
Speaker 3: back after that and had snacks and drinks and did

1591
01:17:28,840 --> 01:17:32,320
Speaker 3: a lingerie shower for the bride, ended with some games

1592
01:17:32,400 --> 01:17:35,840
Speaker 3: and went to bed. Saturday was where crap hit the fan.

1593
01:17:36,560 --> 01:17:38,400
Speaker 3: We went for brunch in the morning and then went

1594
01:17:38,520 --> 01:17:41,160
Speaker 3: on a pedal pub. The bride decided it would be

1595
01:17:41,160 --> 01:17:44,400
Speaker 3: a fantastic idea to order two punch bowls Margarita and

1596
01:17:44,479 --> 01:17:48,200
Speaker 3: Moido at the first location, and she had about fifteen cups.

1597
01:17:48,200 --> 01:17:51,559
Speaker 4: Events Oh lord who she was.

1598
01:17:51,760 --> 01:17:54,960
Speaker 3: Wasted by our first stop, but it's her batch. She

1599
01:17:55,000 --> 01:17:55,960
Speaker 3: can enjoy herself.

1600
01:17:56,840 --> 01:17:59,600
Speaker 4: Are you enjoying yourself after that much alcohol?

1601
01:18:00,120 --> 01:18:02,920
Speaker 3: Then we had two other stops where she continued to drink,

1602
01:18:03,800 --> 01:18:06,040
Speaker 3: and then some of the girls wanted to Sangria Tower.

1603
01:18:06,160 --> 01:18:08,280
Speaker 3: They all hated it but had to drink it. Anyways.

1604
01:18:08,520 --> 01:18:11,080
Speaker 3: The walk back to the vehicles was slow for the bride. Yeah,

1605
01:18:11,120 --> 01:18:13,800
Speaker 3: I can imagine. So we asked if she'd be okay

1606
01:18:13,800 --> 01:18:16,120
Speaker 3: and ready to go to a Mexican restaurant for eight No.

1607
01:18:16,400 --> 01:18:19,800
Speaker 3: She said yes, So we continued on. Girl, No, why are.

1608
01:18:19,720 --> 01:18:25,400
Speaker 7: We listening to the wildly intoxicated. Person's opinion, the crazy crazy.

1609
01:18:25,880 --> 01:18:29,240
Speaker 7: Then the bride started puking poshock. Don't worry, she's just

1610
01:18:29,400 --> 01:18:31,640
Speaker 7: making space for that dinner you're going to.

1611
01:18:31,720 --> 01:18:33,679
Speaker 3: At eight, the friend driving us had to pull over

1612
01:18:33,760 --> 01:18:36,639
Speaker 3: four times for the bride to puke. At that point,

1613
01:18:36,760 --> 01:18:37,720
Speaker 3: I'd stay pulled over.

1614
01:18:37,800 --> 01:18:39,000
Speaker 4: You tell me to go home now?

1615
01:18:39,120 --> 01:18:42,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, some of us suggested maybe ordering pizza, getting into

1616
01:18:42,640 --> 01:18:45,400
Speaker 3: comfy clothes, and watching movies instead of going to this

1617
01:18:45,479 --> 01:18:48,759
Speaker 3: Mexican restaurant that would turn into a club at ten pm.

1618
01:18:49,400 --> 01:18:51,760
Speaker 3: The bride refused and ended up passed out on the

1619
01:18:51,800 --> 01:18:54,439
Speaker 3: bathroom floor back at her condo. I had to go

1620
01:18:54,479 --> 01:18:57,040
Speaker 3: get her some electrolytes. She also puked two more times

1621
01:18:57,040 --> 01:18:58,599
Speaker 3: at home. You know this is really.

1622
01:18:58,360 --> 01:19:01,400
Speaker 4: Giving the energy that someone is dreading getting married.

1623
01:19:01,600 --> 01:19:04,479
Speaker 3: Yeah, this does not seem like she's excited. We ended

1624
01:19:04,560 --> 01:19:06,519
Speaker 3: up getting ready to leave for the restaurant over an

1625
01:19:06,520 --> 01:19:09,360
Speaker 3: hour later than planned because of the bride passing out.

1626
01:19:09,400 --> 01:19:12,439
Speaker 3: Like this isn't normal behavior or something is wrong. Not

1627
01:19:12,520 --> 01:19:15,200
Speaker 3: a big deal. Now, keep in mind, the bride's made

1628
01:19:15,200 --> 01:19:18,120
Speaker 3: that plan most of this bachelorette trip. Is pregnant in

1629
01:19:18,160 --> 01:19:20,679
Speaker 3: her first trimester and was dealing with a terrible cold

1630
01:19:20,720 --> 01:19:23,400
Speaker 3: as well. So we got to the restaurant and the

1631
01:19:23,400 --> 01:19:25,639
Speaker 3: bride was angry that it was their late night menu

1632
01:19:25,720 --> 01:19:28,559
Speaker 3: because it was after nine pm. She also didn't want

1633
01:19:28,560 --> 01:19:30,760
Speaker 3: to drink anything. This is important to know for the

1634
01:19:30,760 --> 01:19:31,559
Speaker 3: rest of the story.

1635
01:19:31,680 --> 01:19:33,759
Speaker 4: Well, she should be wanting to drink lots of water.

1636
01:19:34,560 --> 01:19:36,799
Speaker 3: So we eat some aptizers and wait for the restaurant

1637
01:19:36,880 --> 01:19:39,680
Speaker 3: to turn into a club. Now, the girls that were

1638
01:19:39,720 --> 01:19:42,320
Speaker 3: there for her all didn't know we were clubbing, except

1639
01:19:42,360 --> 01:19:44,519
Speaker 3: for two of them, so when we heard about this,

1640
01:19:44,560 --> 01:19:47,920
Speaker 3: some girls were confused. So ten pm rolled around and

1641
01:19:47,960 --> 01:19:50,759
Speaker 3: the dance floor opened up. The only things the bride

1642
01:19:50,800 --> 01:19:53,639
Speaker 3: wanted to do on our bachelorette weekend were get wasted

1643
01:19:53,720 --> 01:19:58,160
Speaker 3: and dance. Certainly nailed the first one, but she wouldn't

1644
01:19:58,240 --> 01:20:02,080
Speaker 3: dance until twelve am. At that point, she had made

1645
01:20:02,120 --> 01:20:04,439
Speaker 3: the entire group annoyed because we drove all the way

1646
01:20:04,479 --> 01:20:06,880
Speaker 3: to this place that she loves just for her not

1647
01:20:07,080 --> 01:20:10,240
Speaker 3: to want to dance. Out of nine girls, six of

1648
01:20:10,320 --> 01:20:12,400
Speaker 3: us all hate clubbing, but we were all there to

1649
01:20:12,439 --> 01:20:15,280
Speaker 3: do what she wanted. So her sister, who was her

1650
01:20:15,320 --> 01:20:17,240
Speaker 3: maid of honor, explained to her that if she wasn't

1651
01:20:17,240 --> 01:20:19,360
Speaker 3: going to dance, we would be leaving.

1652
01:20:19,400 --> 01:20:24,040
Speaker 7: Wow, that's her sister being there and like not cutting

1653
01:20:24,040 --> 01:20:28,639
Speaker 7: off this situation before it got to this point is wild.

1654
01:20:28,800 --> 01:20:31,000
Speaker 3: That's it's like, this is the that's the person who

1655
01:20:31,000 --> 01:20:32,840
Speaker 3: can be like, I don't care what if you get

1656
01:20:32,880 --> 01:20:35,719
Speaker 3: mad at me, We're going. Yeah. It took another half

1657
01:20:35,760 --> 01:20:38,040
Speaker 3: hour of getting the bride out on the dance floor,

1658
01:20:38,479 --> 01:20:40,880
Speaker 3: and at this point the bridesmaid who planned everything, was

1659
01:20:40,960 --> 01:20:43,880
Speaker 3: nauseous from the smell of vaping and needed to go outside,

1660
01:20:43,920 --> 01:20:46,360
Speaker 3: and she asked me to come with her. That's when

1661
01:20:46,360 --> 01:20:49,240
Speaker 3: she started crying. I asked her what was wrong in

1662
01:20:49,280 --> 01:20:51,920
Speaker 3: the bride? Who is this? Bridesmaid's future sister in law

1663
01:20:52,280 --> 01:20:54,640
Speaker 3: had said to another girl that she just wanted me

1664
01:20:54,720 --> 01:20:57,800
Speaker 3: and her to leave because we weren't even dancing with her.

1665
01:20:57,920 --> 01:21:01,160
Speaker 3: We had danced a bunch, but the pregnant one was cramping, tired,

1666
01:21:01,240 --> 01:21:03,760
Speaker 3: and nauseous and felt that everything she was doing wasn't

1667
01:21:03,800 --> 01:21:07,240
Speaker 3: good enough for the bride. By the way, it's always

1668
01:21:07,240 --> 01:21:09,200
Speaker 3: good for us if you listen to full episodes of

1669
01:21:09,240 --> 01:21:12,360
Speaker 3: stories just like this. Just go Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or

1670
01:21:12,400 --> 01:21:15,640
Speaker 3: iHeartRadio and search a poky story time. But there is

1671
01:21:15,680 --> 01:21:18,280
Speaker 3: a little bit left to the story. Any final thoughts

1672
01:21:18,280 --> 01:21:20,440
Speaker 3: about this whole bride situation, Dakota.

1673
01:21:20,600 --> 01:21:24,000
Speaker 4: I would say someone should have cut her off.

1674
01:21:24,080 --> 01:21:27,479
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, or at least like where's when she was

1675
01:21:27,520 --> 01:21:30,680
Speaker 3: at home, passed out at her condo and she's like

1676
01:21:30,960 --> 01:21:33,280
Speaker 3: she packs up, She's like, let's go out again. You

1677
01:21:33,320 --> 01:21:36,280
Speaker 3: go no, sorry, we don't you know, we don't think

1678
01:21:36,280 --> 01:21:38,800
Speaker 3: it's safe. Sorry, girl, we don't think that.

1679
01:21:40,000 --> 01:21:42,519
Speaker 4: We already ordered pizza. We can't go to the club's closed,

1680
01:21:42,560 --> 01:21:44,200
Speaker 4: And she goes, oh, you tell me.

1681
01:21:44,439 --> 01:21:45,200
Speaker 6: This is my day.

1682
01:21:45,600 --> 01:21:48,519
Speaker 3: I know, I'm sorry, but you know, we don't think

1683
01:21:48,520 --> 01:21:49,480
Speaker 3: it's safe.

1684
01:21:49,720 --> 01:21:52,120
Speaker 7: As you say it was your day until you had

1685
01:21:52,280 --> 01:21:54,280
Speaker 7: seventeen drinksh.

1686
01:21:53,800 --> 01:21:55,320
Speaker 3: Sorry, we don't yeah, and then you just keep it

1687
01:21:55,320 --> 01:21:57,439
Speaker 3: and she goes, oh you wait me, you're so stoufash.

1688
01:21:57,800 --> 01:22:01,720
Speaker 3: I never want to see you. Yeah, understand you're feeling disappointed.

1689
01:22:01,960 --> 01:22:04,920
Speaker 3: That's safe. That's what should have happened. She shouldn't have

1690
01:22:04,960 --> 01:22:07,000
Speaker 3: gotten to the club. At the end of it all,

1691
01:22:07,080 --> 01:22:10,080
Speaker 3: we left at one thirty am. Everyone was mad at

1692
01:22:10,080 --> 01:22:12,000
Speaker 3: the bride for making such a scene, and then, of

1693
01:22:12,000 --> 01:22:14,160
Speaker 3: all the things, wanting to go clubbing and not even

1694
01:22:14,200 --> 01:22:17,600
Speaker 3: get tipsy. She wasted everyone's time and wasn't grateful for

1695
01:22:17,640 --> 01:22:20,719
Speaker 3: anything that was planned for. She complained the entire time

1696
01:22:20,760 --> 01:22:22,479
Speaker 3: and made all of us feel horrible for trying to

1697
01:22:22,479 --> 01:22:26,840
Speaker 3: plan something fun. Now that this weekend is done, we're

1698
01:22:26,880 --> 01:22:29,320
Speaker 3: counting down for when our wedding is over. This has

1699
01:22:29,360 --> 01:22:32,840
Speaker 3: been a crap show. Yauser wowsers, that's the whole story.

1700
01:22:33,360 --> 01:22:34,919
Speaker 3: You need to have a conversation with her.

1701
01:22:35,439 --> 01:22:37,960
Speaker 7: Yeah, I would be like talking to his sister being like, hey,

1702
01:22:37,960 --> 01:22:40,880
Speaker 7: so that was really intense, right because she maybe not

1703
01:22:41,960 --> 01:22:42,840
Speaker 7: what I married.

1704
01:22:43,360 --> 01:22:45,639
Speaker 3: Well, like, does she have a drinking bro? What's going on?