Speaker 1: I'm literally gonna walk you guys through something going on
Speaker 1: in my life that no one knows about except for
Speaker 1: Tyler and Amber and Chris my tour manager. Okay, and
Speaker 1: now you and simultaneously everyone else on the podcast and
Speaker 1: Granger Smith Podcast episode ninety one, ninety are we started?
Speaker 1: We're going? We're going. So I'm gonna ask the first question?
Speaker 1: Is that cool? We have to at least to knowledge
Speaker 1: of this play? Why is there no blue board back here? Granger?
Speaker 1: That's true? Why is there no blue board? You want
Speaker 1: to tell everybody? I'll tell it. I'll tell everybody. We
Speaker 1: are in the new spot. This is episode ninety one,
Speaker 1: but it's a the inaugural episode of the new We're
Speaker 1: in the new podcast room. It has the we have
Speaker 1: the reclaimed wood behind us for those of you that
Speaker 1: are watching on YouTube, but it's a different We don't
Speaker 1: have the blue board. That's right. People have commented about
Speaker 1: the blue board. Does anybody else just watch the blue board?
Speaker 1: I should paint. I should paint right there. So Bernie
Speaker 1: Calcoate guest today. Thanks for having me back, one of
Speaker 1: the one of the all time favorites. People love you man.
Speaker 1: When you're here very difficult to follow. You and Amber.
Speaker 1: Come on, y'all are just amazing together, and you have
Speaker 1: this EE nation following you, guys and fans of y'all
Speaker 1: for a reason. So it's been awesome to listen to
Speaker 1: you all the last couple of weeks. I'm always surprised
Speaker 1: that you actually listen when you're not on the episode,
Speaker 1: that you still listen to the episode. Yes, I'm on it.
Speaker 1: I don't listen no way, man. I feel you on that,
Speaker 1: but it's hard for me to listen to myself. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I love you, know, Pastor, Chad and Amber and Tyler Parker.
Speaker 1: I love hearing you guys chop it up well. People
Speaker 1: email Granger Smith Podcast at Gmail their questions and they'll
Speaker 1: they mention you a lot like, Hey, Granger and hopefully Bernie,
Speaker 1: he'll say things like that, we answer questions on this
Speaker 1: podcast for those that are new. Any anything under the sun,
Speaker 1: could be any kind of question, and we'll talk it
Speaker 1: through as if we're sitting at a campfire together, Me
Speaker 1: Burns and the person asking the question, they say, can
Speaker 1: I run something by you guys, and we'll just kind
Speaker 1: of walk through it. No notes, we don't have anything
Speaker 1: on this table, no notes or or I haven't really
Speaker 1: read these questions to figure out what I'm going to say,
Speaker 1: and I like it that way. Yeah, we could just
Speaker 1: go off the cuff, so I have some ready for
Speaker 1: you today. Burns, all right, let's do it. But I
Speaker 1: want to start with my own. Okay, I got something. Okay,
Speaker 1: I got something for you. Man, this is good. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is so guys. I've known Bernie for twenty one
Speaker 1: years and he's always been the guy for me. And
Speaker 1: the reason he's on this podcast is so that he
Speaker 1: could also be the guy for you. But he's been
Speaker 1: the guy for me that if I if I'm struggling
Speaker 1: with something it could be good or bad. We could
Speaker 1: we could maybe have not talked for a month, and
Speaker 1: I'll call him like, man, I got to talk to
Speaker 1: you about something, and he always will give me the
Speaker 1: sound advice that I need. He doesn't necessarily take my side.
Speaker 1: He'll just give me the advice I need to hear.
Speaker 1: And that's what I love about him, and that's why
Speaker 1: he's such a great guest on this podcast. And so
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm literally going to walk you guys through
Speaker 1: something going on in my life that no one knows
Speaker 1: about except for Tyler and Amber and Chris, my tor manager,
Speaker 1: and now you and simultaneously everyone else on the podcast.
Speaker 1: So here's the deal. Okay, this podcast is coming out Monday. Ye,
Speaker 1: so right now as we're as we're recording it, it's
Speaker 1: the previous week where before you're hearing it obviously. So
Speaker 1: on this coming Saturday, we're gonna be in Algona, Iowa.
Speaker 1: And this has been something that is there's been an
Speaker 1: issue without going to Iowa that's been boiling over for
Speaker 1: the past couple of weeks. Okay, Chris, this is a
Speaker 1: this is a it's called Freedom Fest. It's a festival,
Speaker 1: evidently a big festival in Algona, Iowa, and a lot
Speaker 1: of bikers go to this. It's kind of known to
Speaker 1: be a biker rally type festival. Okay, Freedom Fest. That
Speaker 1: to me that it's on July third, Okay, right, fourth July,
Speaker 1: it makes perfect sense. Yeah. So Chris, my tour manager,
Speaker 1: advances these shows, and he usually advances about two weeks out.
Speaker 1: That means he gets the final details laid out for
Speaker 1: where are we going to park. I'm going to confirm
Speaker 1: our start time. I'm going to confirm that you got
Speaker 1: all the information I've sent you last month, as far
Speaker 1: as how many people we have, how many meals we need,
Speaker 1: what time we need lunch, how long you know are
Speaker 1: our set's going to be. So during that advance of
Speaker 1: this particular show, something happened that hadn't happened in as
Speaker 1: long as I've been touring. Okay, the guy comes back
Speaker 1: to Chris and he says, I just want to I
Speaker 1: want to go over this cool down with you and
Speaker 1: let you know that we will definitely be squeeging the
Speaker 1: stage after the cool down. Chris is like, okay, tell
Speaker 1: me more about this. I'm pulling up the exact email second.
Speaker 1: I don't have to paraphrase it, says. He says, the
Speaker 1: cool down is a big part of the rally. It
Speaker 1: happens nightly. It's essentially a wet T shirt contest parentheses.
Speaker 1: Most choose not to wear anything at all. It happens
Speaker 1: on the main stage. The contestants are blocked from accessing
Speaker 1: any parts of backstage, and this they will enter and
Speaker 1: exit from the stairs. And then he goes on just
Speaker 1: to say, don't worry, we're gonna squege you the stage.
Speaker 1: It's going to be perfectly fine. But it's such a
Speaker 1: big part of the rally. I want to let you
Speaker 1: know what's going on. So I replied to Chris and
Speaker 1: I said, nix it. That's all I said. Let's nix it.
Speaker 1: I said, you felt convicted enough to screenshot this, So
Speaker 1: tell them, tell them not to do it. And so
Speaker 1: it is a It caused a big problem. They're like, no,
Speaker 1: we don't, we don't nix it. This is a big
Speaker 1: part of our rally. This is this is what we do.
Speaker 1: These girls get up and they you know, they they
Speaker 1: get water host on the front of the stage and
Speaker 1: they dance around and they get judged by the audience.
Speaker 1: So in my mind, I'm thinking, this is Iowa Yee
Speaker 1: nation like these are. This is gonna be farmer families.
Speaker 1: There's gonna be old couples, there's gonna be kids. There's
Speaker 1: gonna be people that you know, with very conservative values
Speaker 1: that trust me, and they trust that they're gonna that
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lead them astray at a show. No
Speaker 1: matter what their thoughts are, I'm gonna stick with let's
Speaker 1: make this family friendly. So this goes This goes into
Speaker 1: like book an agency world, This goes into lawyer talk
Speaker 1: and they're going back and forth, and I just told Chris, like, well,
Speaker 1: I guess I guess we're going to cancel. If it
Speaker 1: comes down to it, I'll just cancel, which really hurts me.
Speaker 1: These kind of festivals really pay the bills through all
Speaker 1: the club dates and everything else. And so I'm preparing
Speaker 1: myself that, yeah, we'll just we'll have to cancel. We'll
Speaker 1: have to figure out financially how to get everybody paid regardless,
Speaker 1: but we just can't have it. And they're adamant, and
Speaker 1: so it came all the way. This negotiation thing went
Speaker 1: on and on. They said, well, can we build a
Speaker 1: stage twenty feet away? And I said, my stipulations are this.
Speaker 1: Either it happens before our buses arrive, which is going
Speaker 1: to be like eight am, or after our buses leave,
Speaker 1: which is like two am, or completely out of sight
Speaker 1: away from my stage. And they said no. They said,
Speaker 1: how about we build a stage twenty five feet away?
Speaker 1: I said no, I said, how about we cover all
Speaker 1: of your gear? I said, no, that doesn't change anything.
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to protect my image here. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to protect the fans that'll be on the front literally
Speaker 1: the front road. Yeah, can you imagine if you walked
Speaker 1: into that, you're just wanting to see a show, you
Speaker 1: didn't expect that it's a fully nude with my kids. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so okay, I could tell you where we ended up,
Speaker 1: or do you want to comment now? Okay, you could
Speaker 1: jump in now if you want. I think I would
Speaker 1: rather hear where it ended up. Sounds like there's a
Speaker 1: lot on the line. Keep in mind, Lincoln is coming
Speaker 1: with me. This has been planned from day one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's riding with me the all weekend. Okay. So so
Speaker 1: they come back and they said, my book and agent
Speaker 1: said it looks like we'll probably cancel. And I said,
Speaker 1: I just want to hear it from you, Braden, he's
Speaker 1: one booking agent. He's a great guy. I said, I
Speaker 1: want to hear it from you. They're choosing the girls
Speaker 1: over me, not necessarily me personally, but the headliner of
Speaker 1: the the headlining band. They're choosing the girls over the
Speaker 1: headlining band, taking my ego out of it. And he said,
Speaker 1: let me let me just get that out of their
Speaker 1: mouth because I just wanted to. I'm curious. So they
Speaker 1: come back and the final thing they said was they said,
Speaker 1: well Granger will Granger take ten thousand dollars less of
Speaker 1: his pay and we won't do it at all. And
Speaker 1: so I said, yeah, I said true, if that's what,
Speaker 1: If this is a money thing, if this is that's
Speaker 1: what it's about, then yeah, well you could cut ten
Speaker 1: thousand dollars. There's a lot, Yeah, there's a lot money. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I said, sure, I'm not going to fight any
Speaker 1: more than that. Yeah, if that's what it's about. So
Speaker 1: that they said this is the first time in thirty
Speaker 1: six years they will not do the cool down at
Speaker 1: Freedom Test and I'll go to Iowa. Amen. So let
Speaker 1: me ask you, how do you feel about that decision? Well,
Speaker 1: how do you feel about your I struggle with it,
Speaker 1: and once again that you know, straight up on the podcast.
Speaker 1: This is like a phone conversation between me and you,
Speaker 1: But straight up I struggled with it, and I you know,
Speaker 1: first I felt anger. First, I felt like, well, I'm
Speaker 1: just going to go on that stage. I'm just going
Speaker 1: to tell everyone in the crowd exactly what happened that
Speaker 1: they literally stole ten thousand dollars from my touring company,
Speaker 1: ban crew management, everyone that's involved in that that gets
Speaker 1: paid from that kind of thing. And and Chris was like, man,
Speaker 1: you can't do that. There's like a safety issue involved,
Speaker 1: Like what do people throw things at you? Like what
Speaker 1: if there's bikers that come just to see that and
Speaker 1: they find out you're the catalyst of why they don't
Speaker 1: see it, they can get mad. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I should be so blessed to be persecuted in that way, right,
Speaker 1: But there's a fine line, sure, like you don't want
Speaker 1: to be stupid. Yeah, So I haven't totally you know,
Speaker 1: here we sit doing this podcast, what four days away
Speaker 1: from this happening, So I don't know. I do know.
Speaker 1: I'm going to get off the bus and I want
Speaker 1: to shake that guy's hand and look him, look him
Speaker 1: in the eye, not to not to be mean, but
Speaker 1: I just want to. At first, I just want to
Speaker 1: say I'm glad we came to an agreement. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to apologize. I can't. I'm so sorry to put
Speaker 1: you through this kind of trouble. I'm not going to
Speaker 1: say that, but I do want to say, you know,
Speaker 1: thank you for being patient and coming to this agreement
Speaker 1: with us. And then I want to have Lincoln with
Speaker 1: me so he could see kind of part of the motivation.
Speaker 1: So yeah, what's that I think? No, I think that
Speaker 1: this is part of the reason I think there's so
Speaker 1: many people that follow you, follow this podcast are fans
Speaker 1: of you, guys, is because you're one willing to talk
Speaker 1: about things like this publicly and how you're walking through
Speaker 1: these things. It keeps, uh, it keeps the perception of
Speaker 1: you being just a real person dealing with you know,
Speaker 1: real struggles and trying to live, you know, the way
Speaker 1: that you feel convicted to live and stand true to
Speaker 1: those truths. And I think that everybody out there is
Speaker 1: kind of trying to do the same thing. Like, Man,
Speaker 1: I believe this, and now all of a sudden, I
Speaker 1: have this situation that is kind of I'm put into
Speaker 1: this position where I have to just so earn what
Speaker 1: what what path do I take? And how do I
Speaker 1: stand behind what I believe but yet still be considerate
Speaker 1: of you know a lot of people that rely on you.
Speaker 1: And I think it want it needs to be acknowledged
Speaker 1: that Granger and Amber have to make these decisions and
Speaker 1: discernments on a very public stage most of the time.
Speaker 1: Nobody's like I'm not you know, in that grade of
Speaker 1: an arena to have to like and great of an
Speaker 1: impact on people's lives, fans and a big crew and
Speaker 1: band and everything. So I think that needs to be acknowledged,
Speaker 1: just that you know, God has given you the strength
Speaker 1: and the the grace to navigate this. He's given you
Speaker 1: the tools as well. I think that there always is
Speaker 1: the opportunity for grace to shine through, right and knowing you,
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, when we get five
Speaker 1: years past this, you're going to want to look back
Speaker 1: on it and say, Man, did I exhibit grace? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's great advice for me. Did did the people involved
Speaker 1: feel like? Man? Because grace? Somebody put it this way,
Speaker 1: it's unmerited favor. Yeah, it's favor. It's favor that they
Speaker 1: did not merit. They didn't earn it. And so was
Speaker 1: their grace extended and given and shown and displayed through
Speaker 1: the way that you kind of navigated this. And and
Speaker 1: sometimes if people are just cold and their hearts are
Speaker 1: hard and they're very selfish and just all in themselves,
Speaker 1: they're not going to grace is offensive to them. So
Speaker 1: they're just not right. They're not going to understand it.
Speaker 1: And it's not your place to make them understand. It's
Speaker 1: your place to just display it and live it out
Speaker 1: and I think the real and I'll sleep better at
Speaker 1: night doing that too. That's right. When we do give
Speaker 1: grace in that way, we feel peace and calm regardless
Speaker 1: of how they react to it, regardless if they're offended
Speaker 1: by the grace. We're gonna go to bed and layer
Speaker 1: ahead on the pill and go I felt good about today. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I will be anxious to hear how this goes. But
Speaker 1: I want to say, just just if we're you know,
Speaker 1: if nobody's here and you're talking to me on the phone, dude,
Speaker 1: I think you did the right thing you and who
Speaker 1: knows what kind of conversations that this will you know, produce. Yes,
Speaker 1: there's still gonna be a world that just wants to
Speaker 1: go see girls get water sprayed on them and see
Speaker 1: them naked, and they're still gonna be that's still going
Speaker 1: to be in the world, like you not doing this
Speaker 1: show or doing this show for less or whatever. It's
Speaker 1: not going to take that way. But we have to
Speaker 1: and I know you have to and feel a conviction
Speaker 1: to be a positive and godly example to your fans
Speaker 1: and leading them to that. I think you're absolutely right.
Speaker 1: People could be just well, this is not ee Nation.
Speaker 1: They would be real confused and you would probably get
Speaker 1: a lot of emails like, hey, man, I brought my
Speaker 1: family see you. Hey, I came to see you. I've
Speaker 1: been listening to your podcast, right, Someone could have been
Speaker 1: listening to the podcast and then that's their first show. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So let me say I have to insert here that
Speaker 1: this is not a moral high ground battle for me.
Speaker 1: I'm not any better than these people. So you know this,
Speaker 1: but I'm kind of just saying it publicly on this podcast.
Speaker 1: I don't feel any better better than they are morally,
Speaker 1: or I don't feel like I'm an inherently better person
Speaker 1: on the inside, or I was born better, or I
Speaker 1: was raised by better parents, or I have a better
Speaker 1: circle of friends, and therefore I don't partake. I'm not
Speaker 1: any of those things. What it truly comes down to
Speaker 1: is I have an authority above me that's different than
Speaker 1: they have, and I have a fear of that authority.
Speaker 1: My fear of God and what he expects from me
Speaker 1: is much greater than their perception of me. Or I'm
Speaker 1: sure they think this guy's the biggest prude pansy. We've
Speaker 1: dealt with bands for thirty six years, and no one,
Speaker 1: no male testosterone singer has ever said I don't want
Speaker 1: to see that online stage. Who is this guy? Who
Speaker 1: does he think he is? So I realize that that
Speaker 1: is far less a concern to me than the fear
Speaker 1: of the God that I worship, and not for any
Speaker 1: like egotistical or self righteous reason. But I think that
Speaker 1: you should be proud of that. If you are the
Speaker 1: first one in thirty how many every year, it's kind
Speaker 1: of cool, you know what I mean? It's kind of
Speaker 1: cool and kind of like, wow, how has nobody in
Speaker 1: thirty six six years had an issue with this? So
Speaker 1: to your point of who knows what conversations will happen?
Speaker 1: Who knows next year when the band comes in and goes, really,
Speaker 1: that's what you guys do, then they might say, well,
Speaker 1: last year Granger Smith actually opted out, and then they
Speaker 1: can go us two, Yeah, we're opting out. Yeah, maybe
Speaker 1: that could happen instead of saying no one in thirty
Speaker 1: six years is said no, and then the band might go,
Speaker 1: I guess it's not that big a deal. The other
Speaker 1: thing I want to say, on the other side of
Speaker 1: the flip side of this whole deal, I want to
Speaker 1: say that it is. Still it still blows me away
Speaker 1: that we as a band are even worth something that
Speaker 1: if you take ten thousand out of the paycheck, we're
Speaker 1: still going to play it. So I don't want to
Speaker 1: let that just slide like they're taking ten grand from me.
Speaker 1: That's a big deal. It still is a big deal.
Speaker 1: I'm blown away that we could because for most of
Speaker 1: my career ninety percent of it, we didn't earn over
Speaker 1: one thousand dollars. Yeah, one hundred percent of my career.
Speaker 1: So I actually remember my first one thousand dollars show
Speaker 1: and that was a massive deal. So I don't want
Speaker 1: to just throw that number out like I'm in any
Speaker 1: way bragging. I do want to throw the number out, though,
Speaker 1: to say, the severity of what these people are doing,
Speaker 1: it's significant. I've never heard of someone taking ten thousand
Speaker 1: from any company like that because of a moral conviction. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's crazy, that is. Yeah, So there we go. That's
Speaker 1: my question of Bernie too, right. I mean, you couldn't
Speaker 1: have thrown like a calvinist question like last week at me, right,
Speaker 1: I had to be I also think that you have honestly, man,
Speaker 1: I know Chris, I know your band. I know, Tyler,
Speaker 1: You've got a great team that believes in you. And man,
Speaker 1: when you have that culture, it's it's not dependent on
Speaker 1: one decision of this and this it's like ride or die. Hey,
Speaker 1: I'll run through a brick wall, man, what do you?
Speaker 1: Let's let's go any nation. After last week's podcast and
Speaker 1: reading all the comments, man, they they support you, and
Speaker 1: I think they'll continue to do it regardless. That's awesome.
Speaker 1: And yeah, shout out to Chris for catching that in
Speaker 1: the advance and go and screenshot it and be like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, let's send this to granger So we're going
Speaker 1: to get into your questions. Guys. This is it's anything
Speaker 1: you email to Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. And
Speaker 1: I have a bunch that I have ready for Burns
Speaker 1: today and I wanted to kind of start with a
Speaker 1: kind of a looser, easier one. Here's one subject. Subject
Speaker 1: line is music. Okay, says hey Grainger. My name is Mark.
Speaker 1: I'm a huge fan of your music. I'm a local
Speaker 1: musician from Wichital Kansas. I play guitar and I'm a singer.
Speaker 1: I've been playing music since two thousand and six. I've
Speaker 1: been in and out of bands since two thousand and eight.
Speaker 1: I've always had trouble finding the right people to make
Speaker 1: music with, and I've always had trouble finding the right
Speaker 1: producers that could teach me more about making music. My
Speaker 1: biggest dream is to play music and make music for
Speaker 1: a living and then play I'll go to Iowa and
Speaker 1: have them take ten thousand dollars from My question is
Speaker 1: how'd you get into play music? How do you make
Speaker 1: kids out here? So this is this is another question
Speaker 1: Burns you and I have gotten before. How do you
Speaker 1: find band members? And what advice do you have for
Speaker 1: an inspiring musician as myself? And I love reading these
Speaker 1: because you are also a musician. So first of all,
Speaker 1: I want to say that there's a different world than
Speaker 1: when I was kind of coming up, And there's a
Speaker 1: different world on the internet and YouTube. And when you
Speaker 1: say having trouble finding the right producers who could teach
Speaker 1: me more about making music, man, there's a lot of
Speaker 1: them on YouTube right now. Yeah, it's a different world. Now,
Speaker 1: how do we direct Mark in wichital Kansas shout out
Speaker 1: to Kansas? How do we how do we kind of
Speaker 1: direct him to finding the right band? Yeah? I have
Speaker 1: one idea. I think there's still a guitar center in
Speaker 1: which talk Kansas. I'm pretty sure that's usually a good place.
Speaker 1: Go to guitar center and you go to any guy
Speaker 1: that's working the counter and be like, hey, my name
Speaker 1: is Mark, I'm struggling finding band members. Well, those guys
Speaker 1: at guitar so have seen every band member come through
Speaker 1: which ital Kansas. Yep, that's right at the counter. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's you. You got to get out and
Speaker 1: meet people, and you got to understand that probably the
Speaker 1: first three or four people you cycle through the band
Speaker 1: may not click, and you just gotta hey, let's just
Speaker 1: let's just jam. Let's get together and play. Let's get
Speaker 1: together and play. If yeah, I don't think you get
Speaker 1: too far ahead, I think you've said this before in
Speaker 1: this answer, Like he said he wants to how do I,
Speaker 1: you know, find a producer to make music and I
Speaker 1: want to do music as a career, and maybe, you know,
Speaker 1: I think you can't jump too far ahead, man, like
Speaker 1: you got to find just start with finding the right
Speaker 1: people to play with, see what see what music comes,
Speaker 1: and see what the culture of the band is and
Speaker 1: what everybody else in the band's desire and if they're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we want to make a record too, And then you
Speaker 1: guys collect actively can find a producer and then a
Speaker 1: tour manager, and then you know, like, yeah, you don't
Speaker 1: put on the balcony before the foundation. That's perfect. And
Speaker 1: I want to say, Mark, you say, my biggest dream
Speaker 1: is to play music and make music for a living.
Speaker 1: So let's change that to my biggest dream is to
Speaker 1: have fun playing music. Yeah, you switch that and stop
Speaker 1: worrying about making a living with it, because I know
Speaker 1: Bernie and I when we first started, that wasn't the goal.
Speaker 1: Wasn't I want to make a living with this. It
Speaker 1: was just like I want to do this, yeah, and
Speaker 1: I'll make a living around it so that I can
Speaker 1: do it, right, That's right. Yeah, So yeah, you're you're
Speaker 1: in the right place. Go to your local music store.
Speaker 1: If anyone's listening, I see a lot of questions like this.
Speaker 1: If you're wondering about go to your local music store.
Speaker 1: Hang out with those guys, learn meet them, Meet the
Speaker 1: guys at the counter, tell them your predicament. They probably
Speaker 1: know someone, if not themselves, It could help you out.
Speaker 1: All right, let's go to what how about this one?
Speaker 1: It's called Texas road trip, says Hey Granger, this is
Speaker 1: Danny from Ludswisburg, Germany. I want to ask you what
Speaker 1: are your favorite spots in Texas for a road trip
Speaker 1: that my wife and I are planning to do soon.
Speaker 1: We'd love to spend three to four weeks travel around
Speaker 1: the whole state of Texas, starting and maybe ending in Dallas,
Speaker 1: I'm assuming because of the airport, So that would be
Speaker 1: awesome to get to to get to know your must
Speaker 1: to go places. Of course, Georgetown and Austin's always on
Speaker 1: our list. I hope you like our snackpatrick package that
Speaker 1: we sent. Thank you so much, buddy, Yeah, you got
Speaker 1: you guys are awesome. And so I'm assuming Danny wants
Speaker 1: to wants to use Dallas as a hub. That's what
Speaker 1: I like in and they travel around. Where are they
Speaker 1: coming from Germany? So? Oh from Germany, Ludswickburg, Germany, So
Speaker 1: you could use You could also use Houston, Danny, Houston's
Speaker 1: and other inter international city in Texas. Austin has very limited,
Speaker 1: so you could do Dallas, rent a car, go work
Speaker 1: your way. Yeah, that's what that's what he should do.
Speaker 1: Find to Dallas and work his way south until he
Speaker 1: gets to Austin, see the sites in Austin, go to
Speaker 1: like you should go to Fredericksburg and see all the
Speaker 1: German heritage. I don't know if you want to see
Speaker 1: German heritage when you're coming from Germany. Totally. Yeah, schlitter
Speaker 1: Bond and the and the river down there. If I
Speaker 1: were you, Danny, I would I would go and explore
Speaker 1: the German heritage of Texas. Eat, eat a couple of
Speaker 1: restaurants and it might not be intriguing to you, but
Speaker 1: eat a couple of German restaurants in New Bronfels or
Speaker 1: Fredericksburg and meet a culture of people that settled there
Speaker 1: in the eighteen hundreds from your country. Yeah, it's very interesting.
Speaker 1: Then you could work your way down to San Antonio,
Speaker 1: right see the river walk yep, Alamo, Go see the Alamo.
Speaker 1: There's there's a lot of cool things in San Antonio.
Speaker 1: And then from San Antonio hit I ten and you
Speaker 1: then you go to Houston. I mean, if they're going
Speaker 1: to be here, he said two to three weeks, So
Speaker 1: then you can go to Galveston. Go down to Galveston
Speaker 1: or go down to Poor Day and then work his
Speaker 1: way up the coast with Galveston to Houston. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: a long time, two three weeks and then and then
Speaker 1: fly out of Houston. Yeah, that'd be my thought. So
Speaker 1: then you're seeing a little bit of East Texas, a
Speaker 1: little bit of the hill country. You got to see
Speaker 1: the hill country because yeah, when you see some of
Speaker 1: the hill country, you're gonna think, oh, that's the Texas.
Speaker 1: When you see like the cattle, and that's the Texas
Speaker 1: I had in my mind. That's the ranch, the ranches
Speaker 1: I had in my mind. And you'll see that on
Speaker 1: your on your way like out to Fredericksburg. Lukenbach would
Speaker 1: be cool to stop at Lukenbok. So yeah, I think
Speaker 1: that's good job, Bernie. Yeah, let's take a break. We'll
Speaker 1: be right back with some more questions. I podcast brought
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Speaker 1: dot com slash granger. All right, let's dig into some
Speaker 1: questions and I'm gonna kick it over to you. Burns.
Speaker 1: I've noticed that you got a little stubble today. Man,
Speaker 1: is this after the amber? The podcast question about? Are
Speaker 1: you trying to like I need to shave? Okay, we'll see.
Speaker 1: All right, I'm gonna kick it over to you. We
Speaker 1: have Bible question, we have softball question. We have some
Speaker 1: advice parents, finding friends, brain or soul. How much money
Speaker 1: should I have? I'm in a predicament head on collision
Speaker 1: costs my husband his leg, man of the house. And
Speaker 1: then we have no subject. Did any of those stand
Speaker 1: out for the next one. I don't know if the
Speaker 1: softball question is about softball or if it's just like
Speaker 1: an easy one. It's just an easy one, but I
Speaker 1: love softball, playing the Men's softball League before I got
Speaker 1: injured like the third game because I'm old. But let's
Speaker 1: go with softball question said, I would like to begin
Speaker 1: by just being grateful, grateful for how much you give
Speaker 1: to your fans and your humble words of advice. I
Speaker 1: would wonder if you can give me some advice. I
Speaker 1: would like to be anonymous. I'm struggling with mental health.
Speaker 1: I get anxious. I'm sorry, I read the wrong one. Okay, softball,
Speaker 1: actually hit the wrong one. But we'll keep going. Okay,
Speaker 1: keep going. It's interesting, like a slider in softball. Somehow
Speaker 1: sovereignty of God, I actually hit the wrong one. Maybe
Speaker 1: we needed to read this. I'm struggling with mental health.
Speaker 1: I get depressed quickly. But I've learned to live in
Speaker 1: the presence, in present, in the present, and I have
Speaker 1: low expectations and higher gratefulness. I have a good, methodical
Speaker 1: morning routine which begins at six am, consists of what
Speaker 1: your podcast says, the warm, hot chocolate, etc. But it
Speaker 1: seems I'm a different person in the morning. How do
Speaker 1: I keep being that morning person? I know exactly what
Speaker 1: you mean, living with the purpose to do in God's will,
Speaker 1: but being the person that I would like to be.
Speaker 1: I would like to be more grateful. I would like
Speaker 1: to be nice to everyone I meet, and I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm not as good or something. I don't quite
Speaker 1: know how to get along with others. Please give me
Speaker 1: some advice. Sorry, for my bad reading here. So okay,
Speaker 1: so we have an anonymous person. I'll respect that, and
Speaker 1: it is a she, and I could let me kind
Speaker 1: of paraphrase. She's struggling with depression and anxiety, but she's
Speaker 1: starting her morning routine getting up at six. Sounds like
Speaker 1: she's drinking some hot chocolate, doing some reading, and she
Speaker 1: feels great. And then as the day starts going on,
Speaker 1: that starts wearing away, and she starts to become snappy
Speaker 1: and not nice, and she wants to be able to
Speaker 1: maintain and I feel that. I feel that in a
Speaker 1: lot of ways. Yeah. When we get to be by ourselves,
Speaker 1: usually we're pretty good. It's when other people, we have
Speaker 1: to interact with other people that it's like, oh, act,
Speaker 1: you know, I have to be kind of these people patient,
Speaker 1: and it starts to expose people, expose you know, what's
Speaker 1: really inside of us. And there's a there's a real
Speaker 1: thing called decision fatigue. Yeah, the more decisions you make,
Speaker 1: you start wearing down. You only have so many you're
Speaker 1: capable of in a day, which is why some of
Speaker 1: the crazy billionaires of the world. You'll notice they wear
Speaker 1: the same thing every day, like they wear a black
Speaker 1: t shirt and black pants every single day like their
Speaker 1: whole closet. Is that because they've got it down to
Speaker 1: a science where they actually leave that every decision matters.
Speaker 1: I believe that too, and taking the decision of what
Speaker 1: you're going to wear out m H gives you availability
Speaker 1: for one more decision that day. Amber and I talked
Speaker 1: about this yesterday because we're moving into this house, and
Speaker 1: I told her, I said, hey, these next few days,
Speaker 1: be aware of decision fatigue, because when you get a
Speaker 1: couch in and you go, maybe it should go the
Speaker 1: other way, may no, put the two chairs, and then
Speaker 1: you do that enough, we're gonna start getting snappy with
Speaker 1: each other. We're just start getting frustrated with the kids.
Speaker 1: We're gonna we're gonna have a lot of decision fatigue.
Speaker 1: So I think you're feeling that in this in this email,
Speaker 1: and I think I think you're doing You're on a
Speaker 1: You're on a great path because first of all, you care,
Speaker 1: you you are aware that you're doing this, like the
Speaker 1: key becoming aware that you're becoming snappy. So what do
Speaker 1: you what do you burns? What do you tell of
Speaker 1: this person? Well, they mentioned depression anxiety, right, I think
Speaker 1: those two words. One are very a lot more prevalent
Speaker 1: in this culture now than they ever have been. Two,
Speaker 1: I think there are words that can be used kind
Speaker 1: of flippantly sometimes. So if this is actual, like clinical depression,
Speaker 1: this is I would see a medical professional. I would
Speaker 1: see a therapist or a counselor, and I would maybe
Speaker 1: talk through the severity of this depression, knowing people that
Speaker 1: have struggled with depression all the way to like suicidal
Speaker 1: check you into a hospital. Level two. Hey, I just
Speaker 1: get emo sad sometimes and like there. I think there's
Speaker 1: different levels of that. So I would I would talk
Speaker 1: to somebody, if you have a community of folks, if
Speaker 1: you can ask around. Hey, I don't think that these
Speaker 1: things need to be something that's kind of hush hush,
Speaker 1: like talking about mental health. Seeking help for mental health,
Speaker 1: we do it for everything else, for spiritual health, for
Speaker 1: physical health. We there's no qualm about going to a
Speaker 1: trainer because man, I feel like I need a dietitian
Speaker 1: and I need things for my body. That yeah, I
Speaker 1: would suggest that and then past that. I mean, really,
Speaker 1: I think what's getting exposed, you know, throughout the day
Speaker 1: is just our you know, this person's you know, humanity
Speaker 1: and how what's on the inside and how much patience
Speaker 1: they have and how much compassion they have and humility
Speaker 1: and and so I don't know how to other than
Speaker 1: you know, going back to you know, the spirit of God,
Speaker 1: going back to God's word, being surrounded by community that
Speaker 1: is pointing in that direction, and being prayerful. I just
Speaker 1: start to pray diligently that God would sustain you throughout
Speaker 1: the day and just see what happens. You know, starts.
Speaker 1: I think you start simple. It's all great advice, and
Speaker 1: we're going to tell you every time that if you're
Speaker 1: struggling with anxiety or depression, to seek a medical help
Speaker 1: on top of your wise counsel and because there might
Speaker 1: be a medication involved that you need, you know, and
Speaker 1: I'm not qualified to tell you about that, but there's
Speaker 1: a doctor that is so I know that that sometimes
Speaker 1: there's just something going on up there that medication can help. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: so there might be that I would I want to
Speaker 1: say one more thing, because I think Bernie wrapped it
Speaker 1: up perfectly. There's one more thing I want to challenge
Speaker 1: you with, and that during your morning quiet time and
Speaker 1: you feel calm and you feel peace, challenge yourself as
Speaker 1: you move into the day, to stay present and stay
Speaker 1: aware of yourself and your mood changing, and try to
Speaker 1: identify what's causing that. I say that because when I
Speaker 1: challenge myself to that, I do a lot better. And
Speaker 1: when I start recognizing what's causing me to do that,
Speaker 1: then I see it in another situation. So for example,
Speaker 1: if I if I get mad at two people in
Speaker 1: a row in two different scenarios, my brain goes it
Speaker 1: sets off an alarm and goes, uh, oh, it's not them, right,
Speaker 1: there's a common denominator. What's going on. Then I'll go, ah,
Speaker 1: that early flight this morning, they got me okay. So
Speaker 1: that means if I did it twice, I'm gonna do
Speaker 1: it three times, and I'm gonna do it. They're probably
Speaker 1: the rest of the day, somebody's gonna say something or
Speaker 1: text me or call me, or I'm gonna get an
Speaker 1: email or see a comment on Instagram and I'm gonna go,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go off, I'm gonna get mad, and so
Speaker 1: then I go, it's not them. So my point is
Speaker 1: to you email or recognize when you're getting triggered and
Speaker 1: then try to place the trigger, like maybe it's caffeine,
Speaker 1: Maybe it's lack of sleep, maybe it's something else, but
Speaker 1: you could start finding out. Ah, I know why instead
Speaker 1: of the it's not them, it's not their fault. The
Speaker 1: world's gonna do what the world's gonna do. You can
Speaker 1: only control yourself and how you react to it. So
Speaker 1: go into the day during your quiet time and just
Speaker 1: challenge yourself, like I'm going to go in and it's
Speaker 1: first the first time I feel myself triggering to not
Speaker 1: being nice, I'm gonna go up there, it is why
Speaker 1: am I doing that? And try to find something besides
Speaker 1: the other person to blame for them. Yeah, good stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 1: mental health is definitely not something to take lightly. Now. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's there's many, many layers to it. So we wish
Speaker 1: you the best and you know, hope that you can
Speaker 1: find some wise counsel and some help. This is an
Speaker 1: interesting question here. It's the subject line is parents okay,
Speaker 1: and this is the shortes say, Hey, grangdeer, I'm twelve
Speaker 1: years old. I'm from Lanigan, Saskatchewan, a small town in
Speaker 1: Canada where I grew up. I have a divorced parents
Speaker 1: and I'm wondering if I should treat my step parents
Speaker 1: like my real parents. And if you don't have an answer,
Speaker 1: then how do I ask God? Wow? This guy's name
Speaker 1: is Ben, so Ben is twelve. He's in Canada from
Speaker 1: a He's twelve. He's twelve listening to the podcast Emailing
Speaker 1: Us and it's an interesting question. Yeah, I'm wondering if
Speaker 1: I should treat my step parents like my real parents.
Speaker 1: What do you so? I'm guessing that mom and dad
Speaker 1: split and they both got remarried, or maybe one of
Speaker 1: them and so like that. Hey, yeah, yeah, first of all,
Speaker 1: which before you even start burns, let's just say I'm sorry, Ben.
Speaker 1: This is not on None of this is on you.
Speaker 1: And I hate that the I hate that this is
Speaker 1: the world and this is how it is, and that
Speaker 1: you even have to deal with this at all. Yep,
Speaker 1: because a twelve year old shouldn't have to be thinking
Speaker 1: like this. Yeah, Ben, I've been through this right about
Speaker 1: your age. Actually, I didn't have to for for a
Speaker 1: long time. I didn't have to go through the parents,
Speaker 1: the step parents and the parents getting remarried. But I
Speaker 1: know that feeling of why did this happen? And how
Speaker 1: do I respond? Because it really is I mean, and
Speaker 1: this is like every question every situation that gets put
Speaker 1: in front of us, for anybody out there and for
Speaker 1: us for the same thing with the concert, it's our response.
Speaker 1: We can control our response. We cannot control You can't
Speaker 1: control your parents. You can't control your step parents. What
Speaker 1: you can control is your response. I know you're twelve,
Speaker 1: so let's first stop and say give yourself some grace.
Speaker 1: You're still learning, like your brain is not fully developed yet.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know if ours are much Moss
Speaker 1: twelve year old, So just give yourself some grace, take
Speaker 1: a deep breath, and just you know, first of all,
Speaker 1: celebrate the fact that Granger picked your email. That's pretty cool.
Speaker 1: Go tell all your friends. You don't have to say
Speaker 1: like what it was about, and that you just kind
Speaker 1: of like left your heart out for the nation to see.
Speaker 1: Let's just start with the fact that, hey, this is
Speaker 1: kind of cool. You live in a world where you're
Speaker 1: you know, country music idol. You have access to them,
Speaker 1: and you can like, yeah, let's get advice from it.
Speaker 1: What a world we live in. So past that, then
Speaker 1: give yourself some grace. As far as how to treat
Speaker 1: your step parents. I think that if you start to
Speaker 1: think about what grace is, and you start to give
Speaker 1: that to yourself and lower the expectations of yourself that
Speaker 1: maybe you can also start to view your step parents
Speaker 1: that way. And my guess is is that they really
Speaker 1: love you, and they want you to feel safe, and
Speaker 1: they want you to learn, and they want to support you.
Speaker 1: And so if you can ever get to the point
Speaker 1: where you can give them that opportunity, I think that's
Speaker 1: a great response. But there's a lot to navigate there
Speaker 1: and you're still learning. So I would just say give
Speaker 1: yourself some grace to make some mistakes, and that your
Speaker 1: parents should be older and more mature and be able
Speaker 1: to help you navigate. What do you think is? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I can't speak as well as you can
Speaker 1: about this, but I could say you can't go wrong
Speaker 1: Ben with just treating him with respect. And that kind
Speaker 1: of comes regardless on if they treat you good or bad.
Speaker 1: Because let's put myself in this situation when I'm going
Speaker 1: to Algona, Iowa this weekend. I'm gonna treat this guy
Speaker 1: with respect. The dude took ten thousand dollars from me,
Speaker 1: and he obviously has a lot you know that he's
Speaker 1: going to say about me. But if I come in
Speaker 1: with respect, just treating him with respect. And and once
Speaker 1: again I could say you could you could treat in war,
Speaker 1: you could treat the opposing enemy with respect. And so
Speaker 1: it has nothing to do with maybe you're maybe these
Speaker 1: stepparents are terrible people, maybe they're abuse of him in
Speaker 1: some way. It still doesn't change the fact that you
Speaker 1: could still treat them with respect. You don't have to
Speaker 1: respect somebody to treat them with respect. That's a good point.
Speaker 1: So treat them with respect regardless of how you feel.
Speaker 1: And you're going to get the best from that. You're
Speaker 1: gonna get the best version of them in response to
Speaker 1: your respect you're giving them. So you know, use your
Speaker 1: yes sirs, and yes ma'am's, and and and uh obey
Speaker 1: that the best that you the best that you can
Speaker 1: if it's if it's obliging morally, and you're going to
Speaker 1: get the you're going to get that right back to you.
Speaker 1: So and I'm sorry you have to go through this. Brother. Yep.
Speaker 1: We have Bible question, we have finding friends, we have
Speaker 1: brain or soul, we have how much money should I have?
Speaker 1: Let's do how much money should I have? Hey, my
Speaker 1: name is Derek. I'm from Battleground, Washington. First of all,
Speaker 1: when I say I love your podcast, music and family
Speaker 1: videos make my day. Thank you, buddy. I got a
Speaker 1: chance to see at the Clark County Fair in two
Speaker 1: thousand and eight with my wife girlfriend at the time.
Speaker 1: I have two questions for you. First, I'm twenty years old,
Speaker 1: I'm married, and I'm a kid on the way. I'm
Speaker 1: an electrician apprentice and almost able to become a journeyman.
Speaker 1: I make about sixty thousand dollars a year. It's awesome,
Speaker 1: but I still always feel like I'm way behind. I
Speaker 1: feel like I don't ever have enough money in the bank,
Speaker 1: especially for how much I make. I don't feel like
Speaker 1: I spend a lot, but I just can't help but
Speaker 1: think that everyone my age has way more money saved
Speaker 1: up than and I'm way behind. Given my age and
Speaker 1: how much I make, how much money do you think
Speaker 1: I should have in the bank if I don't have
Speaker 1: car loans or any major bills. I just rent, which
Speaker 1: is ten which is ten seventy five a month. My question.
Speaker 1: My second question is my wife is twenty four months
Speaker 1: to excuse me, twenty four weeks pregnant and we're having
Speaker 1: a boy and I still don't have a name picked out.
Speaker 1: Did you have that problem with your previous kids? How
Speaker 1: do you go about it? Thank you for everything else.
Speaker 1: I thought he was going to ask for recommendations on
Speaker 1: a name, and dude, I was gonna I had some names.
Speaker 1: He kind of did. I mean, he said, how do
Speaker 1: you go about it? There's not many Bernies in the world.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, like, if you want to contribute, you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: do that? I love it? Or rangers? You know. So
Speaker 1: this is kid number two at twenty twenty one years old?
Speaker 1: Is that what he said? Yeah? Pregnant and see is
Speaker 1: that what he said? I thought I'm the first party
Speaker 1: said for twenty years old, I'm married and have a
Speaker 1: kid on the way. Oh, kid, first, this is the
Speaker 1: first one, first sixty thousand. There's a lot for twenty
Speaker 1: years old to me in my mind, maybe I'm out
Speaker 1: of touch, but that seems like a lot for twenty
Speaker 1: I made fifteen thousand dollars. Maybe I was going to
Speaker 1: say whenever I was that, I was going to say,
Speaker 1: that's about three times when I made Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: I made about twenty so yeah, and that's good. And
Speaker 1: when I was making twenty thousand. I was. I thought
Speaker 1: I was crushing it. I was like, man, I got
Speaker 1: so much money. Hey, I mean I think you know
Speaker 1: perception and contentment is a big part of money management, right,
Speaker 1: I mean you knew me then I was at an apartment.
Speaker 1: It was like six hundred dollars a month, and that
Speaker 1: was I thought that was expensive looking at it now,
Speaker 1: like six hundred but then, but that's all I had
Speaker 1: to pay was that and then food and gas. Yeah,
Speaker 1: was that the first place you moved to Nashville? That
Speaker 1: came so? Yeah, okay, so I was paying that and
Speaker 1: then I still had like five hundred bucks a month.
Speaker 1: I did left over. I thought you were rich man.
Speaker 1: When I came to visit you, I'm like, oh, we
Speaker 1: can't be friends. This guy's rich making twenty g's baby
Speaker 1: twenty here. Oh so so he's ill. Shall shoot him?
Speaker 1: Over to Dave Ramsey, some of these questions, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think a lot of it is money management and restraint,
Speaker 1: understanding what you have, what you're spending money on, and
Speaker 1: being able to exercise restraint to like, Okay, we don't
Speaker 1: need to do that, we don't need this to be happy.
Speaker 1: We need to live below our means and I mean,
Speaker 1: I can only speak to my own experience. I love
Speaker 1: living below my means. I love you know, and Leslie
Speaker 1: and I have talked about wanting people to, by the
Speaker 1: way that we are generous, think that we have so
Speaker 1: much more money than we do. But by the way
Speaker 1: we live, I think we have so much less money
Speaker 1: than we actually do. So I don't know take that
Speaker 1: for a lot of that. So I'll get specific with you, Derek,
Speaker 1: because Dave Ramsey, who you could you could go and
Speaker 1: I'm sure he has YouTube videos or something, but he
Speaker 1: has a he has really good books. It's all about money.
Speaker 1: So Dave would say, to answer your question specifically, how
Speaker 1: much money should I have in the bank, Dave would
Speaker 1: say one thousand dollars. Should have one thousand dollars as
Speaker 1: a safety net, and that's that's he calls it an
Speaker 1: emergency fund. One thousand dollars emergency fund. If you don't
Speaker 1: have one thousand dollars in the bank, that's okay. Not
Speaker 1: a lot of people do. So you just start building
Speaker 1: that thousand. But once you get to the thousand, don't
Speaker 1: touch it. That's your emergency fund. Put it somewhere where
Speaker 1: you don't touch it. It's for emergencies only. It's for
Speaker 1: the house gets flooded and you need that extra cash.
Speaker 1: So you leave it and you don't touch it, and
Speaker 1: then you start building. After you have the thousand, your
Speaker 1: next step is you want to work toward. According to
Speaker 1: Dave Ramsey, you want to work towards three months of
Speaker 1: all your bills. So add up all your bills. You should.
Speaker 1: You got one thousand and seventy five a month for
Speaker 1: your rent, so you take that times three. You take
Speaker 1: your cell phone, your wife's cell phone times three. You
Speaker 1: add all that up. Whatever that number is, then that's
Speaker 1: your next goal. So that's say that's fifty six hundred dollars,
Speaker 1: So that's your next goal. Have fifty six hundred dollars.
Speaker 1: That means that means you get in a car accident
Speaker 1: and you lose your job, and your wife gets laid off,
Speaker 1: and every worst case scenario happens, the pandemic hits, whatever
Speaker 1: it all hits. At the same time. Now you got
Speaker 1: three months to live on. You have three months in
Speaker 1: the bank to live on, and you would think that
Speaker 1: three months ninety days is enough time to kick something
Speaker 1: else over, to get a new job, to start a
Speaker 1: new piece of income. So that's ye, once again, not
Speaker 1: my philosophy or it is, but it's from Dave Ramsey
Speaker 1: and that's being very specific. So a thousand dollars and
Speaker 1: then once you get it three months. Second question is
Speaker 1: and before I go back to Burns, it's also being
Speaker 1: frugal and being having good management, which is not easy
Speaker 1: when you're twenty. I was terrible. It's not easy. You've
Speaker 1: got a lot more responsibility at your at your twenty
Speaker 1: than I did at my twenty, so it's not easy,
Speaker 1: and it's kind of a learned it's a learned trait
Speaker 1: and you'll just learn it and you'll practice it. You're
Speaker 1: emailing me, so you care. So that's great. Baby names, Ferns,
Speaker 1: did you have baby names picked out at twenty four
Speaker 1: weeks pregnant? I don't think so, Yeah, I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't think so. No. Not for Boston. Stella came through
Speaker 1: foster care and adoption, so she was an emergency placement,
Speaker 1: so we decided her name after she came. And then Jet.
Speaker 1: I think the kids actually named Jet, but it wasn't. Uh,
Speaker 1: it wasn't till, you know, until he was almost here.
Speaker 1: Something I see with Derek is I see, And it's
Speaker 1: just probably natural. When you're twenty, you you seem to
Speaker 1: be thinking a lot about whatever everyone else is doing.
Speaker 1: So you seemed that you, like you said, I can't
Speaker 1: help but think that everyone my age has a lot
Speaker 1: more money saved up and I'm way behind. And you're
Speaker 1: also kind of in situating that a lot of other
Speaker 1: people have their kids already named and you don't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and so a lot of this I would just say,
Speaker 1: just pump the brakes a little bit, man, Yeah, and
Speaker 1: people don't. People don't have most of our culture the
Speaker 1: way that we kind of you know, nobody has as
Speaker 1: much money as you think they have. Is that fair?
Speaker 1: Absolutely right? Like, yeah, I have ten thousand dollars less
Speaker 1: than everyone thinks. We just perceive things to be like,
Speaker 1: oh man, they did this, so they must have like
Speaker 1: all this, when actually they you know, like racked up
Speaker 1: another twelve thousand dollars on another credit card in order
Speaker 1: to do that. It's all perception. It's not reality. It's
Speaker 1: not real. The best thing you can do, honestly is
Speaker 1: follow Granger's advice, because Dave Ramsey, after you get to
Speaker 1: that point, he will start attacking your debt and telling
Speaker 1: you somebody who has gone from you know, very much
Speaker 1: in debt and making no money and being very poor
Speaker 1: at managing it. That moment when you're just debt free,
Speaker 1: you don't have any debt, is a really great feeling.
Speaker 1: And Leslie and I went through the Dave Ramsey thing too,
Speaker 1: and it was it was a catalyst for it. So yeah,
Speaker 1: we did two and was he called baby steps so
Speaker 1: something like that, the steps to yeah, yeah, freedom and
Speaker 1: then he has people calling this radio show and they'll
Speaker 1: announce that they're debt free, and it's like this big celebration.
Speaker 1: Then once you're debt free, including the emergency funds you've
Speaker 1: saved up, then you could really start some fun stuff,
Speaker 1: you know, like like child like your kids college funds
Speaker 1: and different things. Yeah, yeah, you want to hit one more? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just this one popped right up, so I want
Speaker 1: to read it says I'm in a predicament. Hey Granger,
Speaker 1: my name is Aaron. I'm twenty one from North Texas.
Speaker 1: I've been dating this girl for five years, and for
Speaker 1: the first year it was great. She let me hang
Speaker 1: out with my friends and do all the guy stuff.
Speaker 1: But now the past four years I feel like I've
Speaker 1: turned my back on all my friends because she doesn't
Speaker 1: like them. Back in twenty nineteen, I had a good
Speaker 1: friend pass away and I missed out hanging with him
Speaker 1: because my girlfriend didn't like me hanging out with my friends.
Speaker 1: And now I'm afraid I'm going to miss out on
Speaker 1: another friend because she won't let me hang out and
Speaker 1: do what I want to do. Listen, He's I don't know, No,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think. I'm trying to not jump straight
Speaker 1: to that, Yeah, don't do that you said last time,
Speaker 1: And I'm trying to think. I'm trying to figure out, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think about this girl and what if
Speaker 1: this dude is just hanging out with sleeves balls and
Speaker 1: she's like trying to say, Hey, what's his name? Did
Speaker 1: he say his name? And she loves Aaron. She's like, Aaron,
Speaker 1: you could be such a great dude, these guys, because
Speaker 1: I mean, I have been in a situation where I
Speaker 1: was hanging out with the wrong people and if I
Speaker 1: would have continued that, by the grace of God, I
Speaker 1: was you know, it wasn't a woman that you know
Speaker 1: turned me, but another way. So I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: see both sides of it. So one, Aaron, check yourself.
Speaker 1: Are your friends like instantly, you know, throwing up in
Speaker 1: the middle of the night because you've drunk too much?
Speaker 1: Are you constantly doing things that have the police called
Speaker 1: on you? If it's just like, hey, I just want
Speaker 1: to go, you know, watch a game with the guys
Speaker 1: and hang out and there's nothing, where's it coming from?
Speaker 1: If it's if it's the girls insecurity, I would say, good,
Speaker 1: you got a dumper. And also five years to date
Speaker 1: is a long time, ye, like we I think we
Speaker 1: dated like a year, two years maybe bingo, you're hitting everything.
Speaker 1: Just rewind it and listen everything Burn said, I don't
Speaker 1: have to say anything, but yeah, yeah, curature is just
Speaker 1: gonna say just Dumper. Like my first thought I read it.
Speaker 1: My first thought like this is we're sitting around a
Speaker 1: campfire where all buddies and Aaron's like, guys, gonna tell
Speaker 1: you something. And then I'm kind of offended because I'm
Speaker 1: at the campfire with him, and so I'm now I'm
Speaker 1: one of the guys that she wants, you know, to
Speaker 1: get rid of. Yeah, but I say, my first thought
Speaker 1: is just dumper because that's crazy. But then my second
Speaker 1: thought is five years, Like maybe she's getting kind of
Speaker 1: pissed that you are still dating after five years and
Speaker 1: you're not making a commitment. Then I start thinking maybe
Speaker 1: Bernie's right, like maybe maybe some of the friends or
Speaker 1: you shouldn't be hanging out with anyone. But then he
Speaker 1: says one of them passed away. So then I feel
Speaker 1: bad because then I feel like I'm being disrespectful for
Speaker 1: the one that passed away because he was a good dude,
Speaker 1: but that also created some kind of some kind of
Speaker 1: animosity or bitterness towards the girl, like, hey, I didn't
Speaker 1: get to hang out with him before he died because
Speaker 1: of you. And it's like, here's the answer, Aaron, and
Speaker 1: I really believe this. It's not exact, but here's the answer. Communicate. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you got to communicate. This is the thing that we
Speaker 1: have become the worst at and we just want to text.
Speaker 1: Don't talk about this through a text if you are
Speaker 1: like you guys need to just sit for a while
Speaker 1: and really dig into these things. And honestly, if you're
Speaker 1: not in that place and that's something you want to do,
Speaker 1: you probably need to dump her anyway, because she needs
Speaker 1: to go find a dude that knows how to communicate
Speaker 1: and wants to fight for the relationship, and if she's
Speaker 1: not willing to do that, you need to dump her
Speaker 1: because you need that. But you got to communicate all
Speaker 1: these things you're feeling. If she doesn't know this, you
Speaker 1: guys are just like separating. So there's no use continuing
Speaker 1: unless you're trying to get back to the same path
Speaker 1: and move forward. Communicate. I had no words, man, that's it.
Speaker 1: That's it. I appreciate you emailing man. It always weirds
Speaker 1: me out when I see stuff like this because I've
Speaker 1: been I've been there, been in those kind of situations
Speaker 1: and usually without hearing. We need her to email this girl, Yeah,
Speaker 1: when did this come in? This came in May eleventh.
Speaker 1: We need her to email us and tell she's going
Speaker 1: to tell us a different side of the story. Okay,
Speaker 1: but all that being said, if I'm totally on Aaron's side,
Speaker 1: if I haven't heard from her, I've been in situations
Speaker 1: like Aaron, and it's weird. If a girl starts not
Speaker 1: letting you hang out with your friends, it's just a
Speaker 1: bad sign. You got a dumper. Yep, Absolutely, let's let's
Speaker 1: get out of here. I would say get out early,
Speaker 1: but you've been in five years already, so right, I've
Speaker 1: never been in a five year relationship. Besides Amber, that's
Speaker 1: a long time. We're gonna get out of here, guys,
Speaker 1: but at first, I want to kick out a few
Speaker 1: shout outs. Courtney Pattison, Katie k Amanda Rainier. Here's one says, Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm Shelley Haley from Center Texas. Shout out to Shout
Speaker 1: out to Shelley Sarah Miller. Shout out, we used to
Speaker 1: know Sarah Miller. Or I did at least your birthday.
Speaker 1: Shout out to Tommy shoonhard for his twenty second birthday.
Speaker 1: His birthday is July fourteenth, or I'm early on that
Speaker 1: nice every time I do shout outs to have trouble
Speaker 1: with the names here, Alan Graham, I got that one
Speaker 1: from Alabama. Shout out, Thank you guys for listening, Love
Speaker 1: all y'all, and love you Burns YouTube man. See you
Speaker 1: next time. First podcast number ninety one, first podcast in
Speaker 1: the new spot. In the new spot. If it looks
Speaker 1: or sounds bad, I promise I'll figure that out after
Speaker 1: it's out and then I'll make those corrections. See you
Speaker 1: next time. Love you guys, thanks for joining me on
Speaker 1: the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate all of you. Guys. You
Speaker 1: could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes.
Speaker 1: If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that
Speaker 1: little like button and the notification spell so that you
Speaker 1: never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have
Speaker 1: a question for me that you would like me to answer,
Speaker 1: email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com, Yigi